Becky G ON: Finding Your Sense of Belonging & How to Masterfully Block Negativity and Rejection

Do you want to feel like you belong? Do you want to block negativity and rejection? In this episode we dive deep into what it means to step into your authentic self and the tools needed to do so. Today, I welcome multi-platinum, award-winning singer, songwriter, actress, and activist Becky G. The 26-year-old global superstar's long list of achievements include four Latin GRAMMY nominations, four number one hits on the Billboard Latin Airplay Charts, and her debut album Mala Santa (October 2019) is certified 8X Platinum in the United States. In June, Becky released her latest single “La Nena” alongside Gabito Ballesteros giving fans another glimpse of what’s to come. Becky G did not hesitate to dive deep into the heart of authenticity and self-discovery. We start by awakening to a deeper sense of self, shaking off those social constructs that keep us from being our authentic selves. It's a reminder that it's perfectly okay to embrace who we are and find happiness in that authenticity. Throughout our conversation, we explore the importance of creating spaces where our uniqueness is celebrated, not just tolerated. We also touch on the idea that it's alright if not everyone likes us - what truly matters is staying true to ourselves. In this interview, you'll learn: How to tap into your authentic self How to embrace your uniqueness How to take risks for success Why self-love is a must How to be persistent in adversities How stay focused on your goal Join us on this journey of self-discovery and connection, where we celebrate the beauty of being our authentic selves in a complex world. With Love and Gratitude, Jay Shetty What We Discuss: 00:00 Intro 01:41 An awakening for a deeper sense of self 02:48 The social constructs that don’t allow us to be our authentic self 04:27 The concept of not half of this and half of that 09:12 You gotta make yourself happy and stay rooted to your authenticity 12:31 We need spaces where our uniqueness is accepted 15:17 We all come from something so much bigger than us 19:13 Maybe it’s okay if we’re not liked by everybody 25:13 “You have to be willing to do something you haven’t done to get the result you never had.” 28:49 The three-legged table: the mind, body, and soul 34:54 How do you create quality connections? 37:23 “Just because you can, it doesn’t mean you should.” 39:59 Always have empathy and compassion for yourself 46:56 Sometimes a good cry is the best way to release pent up emotions 51:46 “Everything happens for you, not to you.” 58:13 The healing journey of relationships that has ended 01:01:27 Who do you share your failures and successes with? 01:09:29 Starting an acting career after empowered personalities 01:14:49 Finding mutual spaces where you can change and grow 01:17:53 How do you stay open to finding your purpose you have in life 01:20:06 Do you believe in guardian angels? 01:23:45 Did we lose our listening ability when communicating? 01:06:37 Becky G on Final Five Episode Resources: Becky G | YouTube Becky G | Instagram Becky G | Facebook Becky G | TikTok Becky G | Website See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Jay Shetty?

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• 0:44Jay Shetty?

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• 1:26Jay Shetty?

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• 2:09Jay Shetty?

  or AG1 Pro at drinkag1.com/onpurpose. That's drinkag1.com/onpurpose.

• 2:20Speaker 01

  I'm very proud of myself for having made it through those moments. I didn't know that that was like my body physically telling me something's wrong.

• 2:28Speaker 02

  She's a singer, actress, activist.

• 2:30Speaker 03

  Global superstar. Please welcome Becky G.

• 2:36Speaker 01

  When you start in a career as young as I did, it's very much so like, put your head down, get it done, get it done, get it done, get it done. And then you like blink and then you're like, oh snap, I'm 26.

• 2:49Jay Shetty?

  Before we jump into this episode, I'd like to invite you to join this community to hear more interviews that will help you become happier, healthier, and more healed. All I want you to do is click on the subscribe button. I love your support. It's incredible to see all your comments and we're just getting started. I can't wait to go on this journey with you. Thank you so much for subscribing. It means the world to me.

• 3:11Speaker 04

  The bestselling author and host.

• 3:13Speaker 02

  The number one health and wellness podcast.

• 3:15Speaker 03

  On Purpose with Jay Shetty.

• 3:18Jay Shetty?

  Hey everyone, welcome back to On Purpose, the number one health podcast in the world. Thanks to each and every one of you who come back every week to become happier, healthier, and more healed. You know that our goal here is to only tell stories that are gonna make us feel better, to make us improve ourselves, to make us connect with ourselves in a more authentic and deep way. And today's guest is someone that I've wanted to have on the show for years now. So I'm so happy that she's finally in this seat. I'm talking about multi-platinum award-winning singer, songwriter, actress, and activist Becky G, who was born for the spotlight. And her multifaceted career has proven Becky to be one of the most influential artists of her generation.

• 4:03Jay Shetty?

  The 26-year-old global superstar's long list of achievements include four Latin Grammy nominations, four number one hits on the Billboard Latin Airplay Charts, and her debut album Malasanta certified eight times platinum in the United States, platinum in Spain, and gold in Mexico, putting Becky at over 8.9 billion global career streams to date. Today, we're talking about her new album, Askinas. Did I say that right?

• 4:31Speaker 01

  Yeah, you did.

• 4:31Jay Shetty?

  Welcome to the show, Becky G. Becky, what's going on?

• 4:35Speaker 01

  Wow, I felt like I was holding my breath the whole time because I was like, Jay Shetty is totally just giving the whole spiel of my entire career layout. Um, and I admire you so much and I'm so happy to be here. And the same way you've been trying to get me to sit in this chair in front of you for so long. Um, I feel like everything just happens for a reason, with purpose, on purpose. And I'm ready for the Triple H, man. I'm ready for it.

• 4:59Jay Shetty?

  I love it. Why, why was now the right time for you personally? Earlier, you were just mentioning that, you know, you and Radhi bumped into each other last week. And you were saying now's the time where you've been looking for the signs, like, why, why is now a good time for you to be talking and sharing? Why are you feeling that way?

• 5:15Speaker 01

  I feel like I'm in a time in my life where, well, I mean, if we go all the way back to like when I was young, I'm, I'm such an observer, like I, I'm a little sponge. I take in everything around me, but especially like when you start in a career as young as I did, it's very much so like, put your head down, get it done, get it done, get it done, get it done. And you just keep going and you keep going. And then you like blink and then you're like, oh, snap, I'm 26. Like, look at all the things around me, like, what is this? What's actually happening? And so there's a little bit of a, an awakening, I would say, that's happening in this season of my life, of a, a deeper sense of self, a desire to expand. And so, um, as I look around and invite these signs,

• 6:00Speaker 01

  it just, it's beautiful when it's really like affirmed by the universe that like, there's no better time than now.

• 6:06Jay Shetty?

  Absolutely. And what was it that got you started so young? Like, how and why did that even come about for you?

• 6:14Speaker 01

  Um, I think, well, I love making people smile, that's for sure. I grew up in a very big family, so I'm one of four kids. I'm the eldest and then I have my brother Frankie, my brother Alex, and then my baby sister Stephanie. And we were just like this dynamic four, fantastic four always. Like, we didn't do anything without each other. And um, and I feel like we all just were so different. But we all had this sense of belonging because of how nurturing my mom was about our differences. And how, you know, one could like this color, but you can also like a different color. And Frankie, you like to play sports, but Bea, you like to dance. And Stephanie, you, you love to cook. And we were just very free to be ourselves at home.

• 6:57Speaker 01

  I felt so lucky to experience that at such a young age. But I felt so misunderstood outside of that space. Because I realized, wow, like, there's a lot of social constructs that don't allow us to really be that true, authentic version of ourself. And so I was just like hell bent on making sure that other people felt seen and felt heard and felt loved the same way I got to when I was younger. And, and so, yeah, I think it started with that desire, that desire to make people feel a connection, you know? For me to feel a connection with someone else outside of that space as well.

• 7:28Jay Shetty?

  Hmm, absolutely. And I feel like we're all, everything we all do is wanting to feel connected, right? Whether we're crying, or whether we're laughing, or whether we're reaching out for help, or we're reaching out to help, like, all of it almost seems to be a cry for connection. We're all wanting to feel that. And you've talked a lot about this concept of the 200%, which is what this new album's based on, your roots. And I love that idea. Can you explain it? Because it's the first time I'd heard about it in that way, and I really, really appreciate it.

• 7:59Speaker 01

  Yeah, of course. Well, I, I, okay, so I'm Mexican-American. I was born and raised here in L.A. And it's interesting to me how I always like, it was always like the 50/50, you know? You're half this, half that. And I didn't like that. There was something about that that never sat well with me. And I think it's because it made me feel like, in order to be accepted here, I have to give up a part of myself. And in order to be accepted there, I have to give up a part of myself. And in reality, It's like I am who I am. I shouldn't have to give up any of who it is that is my true authentic being to be accepted somewhere, to fit into this, this space, this shape, right? That doesn't feel organic to me, that doesn't feel natural to me.

• 8:41Speaker 01

  And, and it was in little like micro like experiences, like even hanging around my cousins who were from Mexico and them telling me I was, I was American. And I'm like, well, I guess technically, yeah, but like I, I don't know. When I'm in America, they tell me that I'm Mexican, so which one am I? And there's this, uh, this saying in Spanish, you know, ni de aquí, ni de allá. You're not from here, you're not from there. And I, and I would respond to that, entonces donde me quedo? Like, well, in that case, where do I stay? Like, where do I belong? You know, and so it's kind of like rewriting that to say like, no, si soy, like I am, I am from here and from there. Si soy de aquí y de allá, you know? And it's kind of what inspired, um, the, the album Mesquinas,

• 9:25Speaker 01

  because I am not this side or that side of the streets that raised me. I am the corner of two flags, two cultures, two languages. And I know I'm not the only one, you know? Not just within the Latin community even, but I'd say, you know, I have so many friends who, I mean, I don't know, but do you feel like you have a 200% experience sometimes?

• 9:45Jay Shetty?

  Well, I love, that's why I love the way you put it. And even just now, the way you explain that is so beautiful and elegant. Like it really resonates with me. I love that idea about not having to be half of this and half of that. I actually experience it even more in the roles I've played in the world. And so I often say to people that I'm as much the monk mindset as I am the manager in my work, as I am the media person, as I am now a married person, like all of that is me. I'm not one or the other, because I often get that where it's like, well, Jay, you used to be a monk and now you have companies and you're married and you're this and that. And I'm like, yeah, but the two things can coexist for me as an identity,

• 10:26Jay Shetty?

  because there's so much from that that I love and relate to. And then there's so much from this that I, I love and relate to. And again, with being born in London, but my parents are from, originally from India, but then my mother's from Yemen. And so there's so many cross sections in my background. And then I'm someone who was born and raised in London, but now lives in LA. And so there's that intersection and I love the idea of how we can all be so much more than what our passport says, or than what our job title says, or than what our bank balance says, or whatever it may be. Like, we're all so much more. So I think by you saying that, and I love the idea of the street corner.

• 11:07Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 11:08Jay Shetty?

  That's, that's really cool, like, because that's, and all the cool stuff happens on the corner, not on either side of the street, anyway.

• 11:14Speaker 01

  I mean, totally. And if you're from LA, you know, that's where all the best fruit stands are and the best taco stands. So, um, but, but I, I, yeah, it's the intersectionality. That's what it is, exactly what it is. It's like where all of these things meet, all the spaces in between, you know? And, and I think that's, there's so much beauty in it, but I think unfortunately, there's, you know, systems that, that make us think that they're wrong, but in reality, it's just an old programming that doesn't necessarily work anymore. And that's okay, too, you know? And I love what you said about letting, you know, all the truths exist. Cause that's something that I think, growing up, I felt, society tells you, you had to think very black and white.

• 11:57Speaker 01

  And I'm like, life is in color for a reason. You know, like, we, we should be seeing life in color. There's so much going on around us. And I like to think that, you know, this vessel, I'm very thankful for. I'm very thankful for the vessel that allows me to experience this life. But my spirit is so much bigger. My soul needs to expand, you know? And the same way, we can experience such beauty, we can experience pain. And, and there's all these like opposites of everything. And then it's the spaces in between that kind of just tie it all together, you know? I love that there's purpose in that.

• 12:31Jay Shetty?

  How did you go about that journey of giving yourself permission to belong in both?

• 12:36Speaker 01

  Um, it just, it felt like I could only... Stay in that like uncomfortable position for so long. You know, you're sleeping on a plane. Yes. And you're so tired, like you will fall asleep anyway. But then there's like that half hour that goes by where you wake up and you're like, my leg is dead. And I can't feel my neck and it hurts. And this is not like, this isn't good quality sweep. Like, I can't wait until I get into my bed. Yeah. And I felt like I would feel that way sometimes. Like, I, I could stay here for just a little bit, you know? But it didn't feel very long lasting. And I think that there just comes a time where if you allow yourself to, and like you said, give yourself permission to even just explore what could be on the other side, to explore that maybe I don't want to sleep on the plane.

• 13:20Speaker 01

  Maybe I do want to sleep in my bed and I can't right now and that's okay, but I can't wait for the day. Yeah. You know, or the time that comes, um, and look forward to it. And so I would always look forward to like the day that like, I wouldn't be compared to like another artist that like literally looked nothing like me, spoke nothing like me. And I'd be like, I don't want to be them. I want to be Becky, you know, like, and, and I was so young already feeling that way, growing up in this industry. And, um, and it, it was those boxes, man. It was those boxes that just like, I, I knew I could check them. I knew I could check those boxes and, and make other people happy. But there came a point, I think, when I decided honestly to pursue singing Spanish music was that turning point for me.

• 14:02Speaker 01

  And it was, it was because I was going to be facing my biggest fear, which was, okay, well, I, I am American and I've started a professional career singing music in English, but I've always repped my Latinidad. But now me singing in Spanish, I don't know if I'll be accepted there. And that was like really scary because the only real point of reference I had was the queen, Selena Quintanilla, who, you know, unfortunately is no longer with us. And so I just remember being like, there's a, a scene in the movie where her dad says, "You have to be more Mexican than the Mexicans and more American than the Americans. It's exhausting." And, and he says it like that too, "It's exhausting."

• 14:46Speaker 01

  And I'm like, "Yeah, your girl's tired, man. I'm tired." Like, I just want to be, I just want to be who I am. And the truth is, is like, I think when you lean into the authenticity of just knowing like, I gotta make myself happy. And this, this really does make me happy. There's gotta be something on the other side of that. And little did I know I was gonna be confronted with so many other, you know, obstacles in Latin culture that totally didn't want me to succeed. You know, the machismo that exists, the amount of times, you know, the labels will say, you know, girls don't sell tickets, they don't get played on the radio, all kinds of stuff. And, and I like to think, you know, we're here, we're doing it.

• 15:28Speaker 01

  So there must be do something right, you know?

• 15:32Jay Shetty?

  Doing a lot right, doing a lot right. Tell me about that, that fear that you had in terms of like, I've started my career singing in English, now I'm moving over, will I be accepted?

• 15:43Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 15:43Jay Shetty?

  And that fear is really displacing too. Again, when you're like, I'm from here and I'm from there as well. What was it inside of you that pushed you to say, I'm gonna do this anyway? Like, what was it that gave you the courage and strength? Because I can imagine there's so many people who are listening and watching right now, who are thinking, I don't wanna do that because I don't wanna be seen that way. Or I don't wanna do that because someone's gonna put me in a box, or someone's gonna push me back. Like, we all have these doubts in our own ways. What was it that helped you overcome that doubt?

• 16:13Speaker 01

  I think remembering what someone like Selena did for me, and understanding that like, like somebody's gotta do it, like, and, and not like, so I, now I have to. It, it really came from a place of truly desiring and wanting to, to do that for myself. Because I know I deserved that space. And the same way I believe I deserved that space. I believe there's so many other talented young women that deserve that space. And so, you know, brick by brick. And if I only bring one brick to this, to this bridge, that's fine, so be it. But we, we need it, there is, there's a need for this. And, and I want to be a part of that. And I think that was really inspiring for me to be able to like, take agency in that way,

• 16:58Speaker 01

  and know that there was a lot of like naysayers that were like not believing. But then also knowing like, the same way I was in that nurturing household, where I was allowed to be different, like, we're gonna keep building spaces like that. Like, we need that in the systems that are, you know, continuing. Because they're not sustainable, some, somebody's gotta shake it up. And so, uh, and I, I remember being a part of like, specifically the Latin industry at that time. And I think it was my intersectionality that, that made it. Kind of less intimidating for me.

• 17:30Jay Shetty?

  Hmm.

• 17:30Speaker 01

  Because I was like, I know what it's like to not be accepted here. Like, because it happened on the other side. So there's nothing you can tell me here that I haven't already heard.

• 17:39Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 17:39Speaker 01

  You know?

• 17:40Jay Shetty?

  It's fascinating, isn't it? That when you're young, you're forced to fit in. And then as you get older, it's all about how do you stand out?

• 17:47Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 17:48Jay Shetty?

  And it doesn't make any sense because it's so counterintuitive. Your whole life, you've been told, stand in line, do as they do, do as I say. And everyone's told to conform. And as you get older, it's like, well, how do you brand yourself? How do you market yourself? What's unique about you? But you've been told to hide all of your

• 18:06Speaker 01

  All of it.

• 18:07Jay Shetty?

  Uniqueness, right? You've been told to hide all of it. So it's almost like we're trying to figure out what that uniqueness is. I love your idea about, or the vision that you just painted for all of us of like how we're all just laying another brick on the bridge.

• 18:21Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 18:21Jay Shetty?

  That's such a beautiful way to think about it. And I wonder how instrumental your grandfather was in this whole journey for you. I know that this album is inspired, dedicated to, and you sadly lost him a few years ago. But tell us a bit about why family's been so important to you, but particularly him. And I can see you taking it in for those who are not watching. You can

• 18:44Speaker 01

  Big deep breath.

• 18:45Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, big, deep breath from Becky.

• 18:47Speaker 01

  Yeah, no, I think it's because, I mean, to understand that we come from something so much bigger than us is so powerful, sometimes overwhelming, I think, for a lot of us, mixed ethnicity kids. Because, you know, we're not just walking into a room with our dreams. We're walking into a room with our dreams and then the dreams of the generations before. Not just into a room with our own sacrifices, but the sacrifices of those before. All of the stuff that, you know, can feel very heavy sometimes. But then those two truths can exist at the same time that I really hear so strongly in the back of my subconscious, which is that It can be really heavy, but such an honor.

• 19:29Speaker 01

  And there's a power in that to come from people who have had to make something out of nothing. And if they did, you can too. My grandfather, Miguel Gomez, que descanse en paz, he is one of the greatest men I think I've ever gotten to know in this life. And I feel this way about all my grandparents, like to have had all four of my grandparents so present in my life and to be a part of the the village that raised me, you know, is such an honor to me. And when he passed away and him being, you know, my first grandparent that I that I lose, just that that thing that I hold on to is that although, again, his vessel may no no longer be with me,

• 20:09Speaker 01

  that guidance, that that honor that it is to carry that that superpower with me is just, it's so incredibly motivating and so inspirational. And I think there's, there's a lot there that when I look back at it, you know, he was really a big part as to why I started pursuing this. Because a lot of my grandparents, I mean, they didn't finish their educations. They all started working very, very young. And that was a social norm in Mexico, you know, in Mexico like that, that was part of, you know, part of what it was. You don't finish school, you work to help your family. Obviously, we live in America and there's such a thing as child labor laws. So it wasn't the same thing for me, but the concept of being nine years old and working to provide for my family

• 20:53Speaker 01

  and going out in the streets and hustling, like, it didn't feel like a absolute no to me. It felt like, well, if they did it, I can do it too, you know? And to see everything that my grandparents have built, I mean, my grandmother talks about the day, she says, ay, gracias a Dios por mi pueblito, like, her little village. She's so thankful to God for her little village that she created, you know, with my grandpa. And it's just like, yeah, like, y'all really did that. And and we're all just this ever growing tree of branches and of those roots, you know? And so, um, so, yeah, he's, he's with me every day. I feel it.

• 21:26Jay Shetty?

  That's beautiful. Yeah, you can kind of see that energy coming through you right now as well. It's like, it's evident that he has a place in your heart that's really deep and special. And it must, it must be so powerful to be able to use that to give back and to connect with people.

• 21:42Speaker 01

  Definitely. Yeah. And I think it's like, It's their humanness, you know, it's seeing their old age. Like even seeing like they once could and now they can't physically, but we can. You know, so like, how do we carry that on? It's just, it's, it's so beautiful and so empowering and so. Um, just knowing that even when we're no longer here, like things stay. Like there's an energy there that stays, there's something so meaningful and so purposeful to our every word and interaction shared. It's just like you want to live a life that is of substance, you know, like I don't wanna just lollygag and just, you know, I mean, maybe every now and then, don't get me wrong.

• 22:26Speaker 01

  But um, but no, I, I mean it in the way of just like, even in the simplest of things, just like living in gratitude.

• 22:32Jay Shetty?

  Becky, you grew up in the public eye and you know, you've grown up in the public eye too, and it's the idea of like.

• 22:39Speaker 01

  Growing up.

• 22:40Jay Shetty?

  Growing up, yeah, growing up, yeah, growing up in the public eye. What would you say have been the pros of that? Like what really great lessons have you kinda taken on? And what have been some of the challenges that you're still trying to figure out, that you still feel you struggle with sometimes?

• 22:57Speaker 01

  Yeah, I think it's interesting. I don't think I saw many of the cons to it as a kid because I was just like, wow, like this is so cool, a space to just be and be yourself. And then you don't really realize how you're exposing yourself, like beyond what the, the average person like usually gets exposed to and it's not just like the support, it's also the opposite of what support is, right? People having a, a thought and a say or an intention that isn't always positive a- against everything that you do. And it wasn't until you, you were like a teenager and you're getting made fun of for the way you dress or what your teeth look like or having acne or whatever. And you're like, wow, you're really wearing these things.

• 23:40Speaker 01

  Like, you're really wearing it. And then, you know, on top of that, you're dealing with, I mean, for me, I was dealing with, you know, the pressures to provide for my family. So like, I'm really showing up as my best self because there's too much riding on the line. It's not just me, it's everybody who's walking in the room with me. So when you are kind of put in this place where you are, you feel almost attacked sometimes, or, you know, you feel let down, you don't feel as supported as you thought you would. You start to question like, oh, is this a safe space? Is this, is this what it's supposed, is this what I signed up for? Because that's what everybody's telling me. This is what you signed up for, this is what you signed up for.

• 24:20Speaker 01

  And it's like, as I've, I've continued to grow up in this space, I think the biggest like lesson for me is just like, maybe I'm not supposed to be liked by everybody. Maybe that's not the goal. You know, maybe I'm not, maybe I'm not supposed to be for everyone. Maybe I can be a little bit more sacred with my energy. You know, maybe I don't have to be on social media twenty-four seven, you know, like, maybe I can remember that there's a real world out there with real people and quality connection matters, not the quantity of connections I make. And so I think that like for me going from literal baby Becky, fourteen years old, getting discovered on the internet,

• 25:02Speaker 01

  to the twenty-six-year-old that is still figuring out how to practice those boundaries every single day. Yeah, it's like the, the biggest takeaway for me.

• 25:10Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, and that realization that we're not for everyone is really difficult to swallow because I feel like our whole life, we've been trained to kind of be people who make everyone around us happy. We've been trained to be that way, conditioned, like, we make people smile, or you were the peacemaker in your family, or you were the changemaker in your family, or you were the person who kind of, you know, communicated individually and mediated with your family. Like, we've all played roles. And most of those roles revolve around us being liked or doing things to be liked. And all of a sudden, you grow up, and especially if you have a large public platform,

• 25:53Jay Shetty?

  and even if you don't have a large public platform, just growing up, you go to work and you have family.

• 26:00Speaker 01

  It's crazy because I was literally gonna gonna interject right there to say you do not have to be someone with a platform like ours to know what this pressure is like today.

• 26:09Jay Shetty?

  Agreed.

• 26:09Speaker 01

  And that actually makes me so fearful for the future generations because we are constantly comparing ourselves to everyone's greatest hits. And that is really, really hard to leave any room, any space for grace, for for growth. You know, because there's this fear, this fear of messing up, saying the wrong thing or whatever. And it's just like, that's actually part of learning. We have to leave room to learn. And I think it's also learning that we can be something different. I was thinking about this the other day and I had a conversation with like a really close friend of mine about how it's it's wild to me that I've shared so much of my life on the internet since such a young age. And because I shared that, you know, my favorite flavor of ice cream seven years ago was

• 26:54Speaker 01

  chocolate, that someone can come across that today and be like, oh, she's a she's a chocolate ice cream loving girly. And like, little do they know, like, I don't really like ice cream anymore. Like, I don't even have a favorite flavor. I actually prefer frozen yogurt, you know? And and there's like seven years, but because someone can come across that, you know, today it can be like, no, that's who she is. And unless it's documented, you can't tell me any different.

• 27:21Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 27:21Speaker 01

  You know, but it's like, I think it's it's leaving space that like, I can change my mind. I mean, I could love ice cream tomorrow. Who knows, you know? And that's totally possible. But on a deeper level, it's interesting. You were you were saying something. There's a book that I read called The Family on Bradshaw, and it really blew my mind about the rigid roles that we play in like family systems. And we find so much purpose in that, but then we we get so attached to what that role is to forget that like, we have to go out into the world and like, learn more, you know, like, it terrifies me sometimes when I think about that, because I feel like I've lived so much life in my 26 years. And I'm like, wait, there's more? You're telling me there's more?

• 28:02Speaker 01

  I should be inspired and excited at that idea and a part of me is, but then there's another part of me that's absolutely terrified. You know, and I think it's, it's again, leaving room for those two truths to exist.

• 28:12Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 28:13Speaker 01

  And usually when it's terrifying, I think it's because it's right for you.

• 28:16Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 28:17Speaker 01

  You know what I mean? Like it's supposed to be scary. Like, uh, just at least just a little bit to like ignite that thing in you that really like catches your soul on fire and says, I was made for this.

• 28:28Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 28:29Speaker 01

  You know?

• 28:29Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 28:29Speaker 01

  And I'm so happy that I did it.

• 28:31Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 28:32Speaker 01

  You know?

• 28:32Jay Shetty?

  Yeah. How hard was it for you? You just talked about there where you're like, maybe I want to be someone who experiences the real world. Maybe I do want to switch off from social media like as a public figure. And even in our friend circles, like I remember when I quit drinking alcohol. And when I went back to my friend group that was used to me drinking alcohol and being a certain person at the party and now I don't. It was a complete switch. I wasn't, I didn't have a public platform. I wasn't known, but even in my group or my community, it was like, wait a minute, Jay, have you changed? Right?

• 29:03Speaker 01

  Right.

• 29:04Jay Shetty?

  Or when I stopped doing certain things or when I started doing certain things, we all go through these like identity deaths of who we were and who we wanted to be to who we are today. And when you're trying to make a transition, like not being as active on social media, or you're trying to make a transition of, I don't go to those places anymore, whatever it may be. I feel we all go through this moment of identity shifts and it sounds like you've had to do that too. What has helped you make those as smooth as they can be or what has happened when you've made those shifts and what have you dealt with?

• 29:38Speaker 01

  I'm laughing because Jay, it's so not smooth. Like it's

• 29:41Jay Shetty?

  It's not, yeah.

• 29:41Speaker 01

  It's so rough out here. It's very new for me. It is so new. I have lived more of my life this way than I have practicing, trying something new. But it it makes me very proud of myself to know that I can look at myself every day in the mirror and say, I know it's gonna be really hard and it's gonna be challenging. And there's gonna be things that trigger a response from you, maybe that you are that is second nature. We are gonna take time to process. We're gonna add some filters in your process that are better for you. Cause there's better ways to deal with things. There's better ways than having to just like promote your pain.

• 30:26Speaker 01

  You know, I somebody the other day, it was so funny, somebody the other day um mentioned to me like, what's up with all these young kids posting videos of themselves crying on the internet? And I said, first of all, that's really mean because little do you know, maybe they're seeking for connection. And second of all, I've totally done that. Damn it, oh, I'm guilty, I'm so guilty of it. But are there times where I wish I didn't? Absolutely, because maybe not everybody needed to see that. I wanted to be seen so badly, but who am I seeking that from? Why am I seeking that from the world when maybe it's really within myself? And so that that daily practice for me is still very new, but it's it's doing things differently. Willing to, uh what's that saying?

• 31:11Speaker 01

  Um you you won't, you gotta be willing to do something you've never done in order to get the result you've never had. Right? And so if I want to be the healthiest version of myself, I have to be willing to look at my daily routines. Mentally routine, the mental routines that I have, the spiritual routines that I have, the physical routines that I have and and and really just be honest with myself. And am I setting myself up for success? You know, and there's been hard times, like people very close to me would be like, B, we had this conversation. We've had this conversation and they very lovingly hold space for me to come back around and be like, "You're right."

• 31:50Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 31:51Speaker 01

  "You're so right." You know, but it's like just understanding that we are constantly always in process.

• 31:57Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, yeah, we're tell, let's walk through some of those actually because we love doing that on on purpose. You mentioned mental, spiritual and physical routines. Let's talk about some of the, let's start with the mental routines. What are some daily routines or habits or practices that you've been working on?

• 32:13Speaker 01

  Okay, so shout out to my therapist because she taught me the three-legged table.

• 32:16Jay Shetty?

  Shout out to old therapist, I love therapist.

• 32:18Speaker 01

  Me too, they're dope. Um, they keep it real, that's for sure. But uh, the three-legged table is the mind, body, soul. And if it's a table that needs to work, right? It needs to hold things on top of it. Um, if one of the tables is a little wobbly or one of the tables, the legs break, it can't, it can't fulfill its purpose, right? What it, what it's intended for. And so I am very much so a mind, body, soul kind of person. And I think for me, if we're starting with the mind, just like not being on my phone, the first moments that I wake up in the morning, um, I didn't realize like how second nature it was. Like even just having like a separate alarm clock outside of my phone.

• 33:01Speaker 01

  Very new for me, actually just started practicing that. I do a social media detox once a month. So like there's, I'll literally delete the apps from my phone completely and it's the best.

• 33:10Jay Shetty?

  For how long?

• 33:11Speaker 01

  For how long? I do at least seven days consistently, yeah.

• 33:15Jay Shetty?

  Wow, that's so cool.

• 33:17Speaker 01

  Yeah, also very new, but it's working, highly recommend. And I don't say these things to like knock anybody, because there's some people I know that can like very much so be on these platforms and like are so unfazed by it and it's great for them and I love that for them, but I know myself.

• 33:31Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 33:31Speaker 01

  And I'm very, very sensitive. So kind of just, just practicing those things has been super helpful for me on the, on the mental side. And then I would say on the spiritual side, meditating has done so much for me, like meditation and prayer. I think just believing and having faith in something that is greater than you is, is always helpful. You know, I think it's really hard to trust something that you can't see, that you can't physically feel or touch. But there's also something very magical when you tap into that. And there's been moments where my day will be so crazy. And I, you know, this is constantly trying to find time. How do we reset the mind? How do we reprogram? And I just think to myself, even after ten minutes of meditation, there's another version of me on the other side of that that will be so much better, so much capable.

• 34:16Speaker 01

  What part of me can't give myself ten minutes today? So like that, that spiritual like tap in and like re-centering for me is special sauce.

• 34:27Jay Shetty?

  And what type of meditation is that for you? What, what?

• 34:29Speaker 01

  Guided meditation still for me because we've got a lot of thoughts these days, you know? And it's hard to silence them. But uh, it's sometimes twice a day. You know, I, I try to do it twice a day, definitely in the morning or sometimes when I'm in the sauna, like post-workout, um, to kind of just really be in my body. And then uh, and then at night. And I also do uh, uh, do you know Wim Hof?

• 34:51Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, of course.

• 34:52Speaker 01

  Breathwork, yeah.

• 34:53Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 34:53Speaker 01

  Love it.

• 34:53Jay Shetty?

  We've had Wim on the show.

• 34:54Speaker 01

  Oh, my God.

• 34:55Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 34:56Speaker 01

  Another person I would like absolutely geek out to meet. But honestly, that, that whole routine for me, even like before shows, just really relaxes the nervous system. On that breath hold, there's like a spiritual feeling that I have. And sometimes I'll play like frequency during, and it just like, there's moments where I'm like, oh, my God, I'm totally coming out of my body right now. And this is so nice.

• 35:19Jay Shetty?

  Wow.

• 35:19Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 35:20Jay Shetty?

  And what about prayer? You mentioned prayer there.

• 35:22Speaker 01

  Yes, yeah, prayer is super important. It's funny, I grew up in a very religious household. I'm very Mexican in that sense. My grandmothers are very Catholic. And I'm much more spiritual than religious, I'd say. But I think seeing them in their dedication, seeing them in their practice was like very inspiring to me when I was younger. And also the communal aspect of it too. Like getting to pray with my grandmothers growing up is something very sacred to me. And I just think that, yeah, when I pray and I surrender, like let go and let God is like, I literally have it tattooed because it's, it's important to know that you can't control everything. You just can't. You can control what you do, how you react to what's going on around you,

• 36:05Speaker 01

  but you can't actually control everything that's happening around you. And I struggle with that on a daily basis.

• 36:12Jay Shetty?

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• 36:57Jay Shetty?

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• 37:40Jay Shetty?

  Those are beautiful routines. That's mental and spiritual. What about physical?

• 37:44Speaker 01

  There's not a version of me before this, this, I'd say, age that would say, I love being in the gym. I love working out. So much to the point where I'm like, maybe I should prioritize sleep a little bit more than the gym. But good sleep, good diet, gym. Like, feeling strong physically and knowing that I'm taking care of my body. Again, like, the vessel needs to be safe and it needs to be protected and provided for. And so I try my absolute best. But even in that sense, it's like, you know, not that my indulgent self takes over, but like enjoying the little things in life, like the balance, you know, like I love food. So the balance of that is like, go burn it off in the gym, girl,

• 38:29Speaker 01

  and you'll be just fine.

• 38:31Jay Shetty?

  I love that. No, and it's so beautiful that you're thinking about your life as those three legs to the table or the stool in your life because... It is so interesting to me about how as soon as you take your eye off of one of them, how much harder everything else becomes. And yet, when those three things are good, like you said, they can carry the weight. Even if it's getting really, really heavy, you still have a fighting chance almost. And I guess the thing that I've found that has really helped me in that regard as well is making sure that I'm not trying to solve all three at the same time. It's almost like one at a time. Like, I remember I always had my spiritual practice, and then I added my mental practice, and then I added my physical practice.

• 39:15Jay Shetty?

  And for me, that order worked really well. Whereas when you're trying to solve all three at the same time, then two, it's almost like saying if you're putting a table together, using your analogy, you can't put all three legs on at the same time. It just doesn't work that way. You've got to put one in properly, then the other one, and then the other one. I want to go back to something you said earlier. You talked about the need for quality connections instead of quantity connections. What is Becky G's definition of a quality connection? How do you view a quality connection?

• 39:49Speaker 01

  You know, I think it's when I feel safe in a room to be my true authentic self. And there's ways that my body used to tell me that, like, this isn't authentic. Like, there's something about this that doesn't feel right. And I would stay in the room because you're scared of how that might come off. Or, again, the people-pleasing tendencies totally start to come through, right? I'm a performer by nature at this point because I've been doing this for longer than I've ever not been doing it. But I think it was just really understanding, man, like, it feels really good when I can just show up and be me. And when I'm trying to be my authentic self, sometimes there's a little fumbling that happens. Or just sometimes it flows. Like, right now, this feels like a quality connection. It's just flowing.

• 40:33Speaker 01

  I'm not really thinking about what could be said or what could be felt and how that might come off. And that feels to me, again, aside from the universe, and it really affirms that I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be. And so when I have those feelings that feel very affirmed in a moment, That is quality connection and it might be with a stranger. There's been times where like, I mean, man, I'll be at the airport sometimes just killing time because I'm totally like my grandparents. I don't want to be late for a flight or something. And I'm just talking to like the person behind the bar and just like, how's your day today? And I walk away like, oh my God, Johnny was so sweet. I want to go to his mom's pizza shop. Like next time I'm in the city, I'm coming.

• 41:14Speaker 01

  Because there's like a true connection that's being made and and I think what we celebrate today is like followers, like how many followers you have, how many numbers you have streaming this. And it's like, that I I think is is is amazing when you're thinking from a business aspect. But even then truly like, people want to support something that is real. I want to support something that is real, whether it be in my friendships, whether it be with my family, with my team, with my fans. And so, uh, yeah, I'd say that's what it is. It's like that authenticity. I could feel it.

• 41:45Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, and and it's really interesting, right? You said that we almost all have a inner compass or an inner dial that tells us whether something feels authentic and aligned or it doesn't. But we tend to ignore it sometimes because of our people pleasing tendencies or whatever it may have been. When is the time in your life where you feel like you've ignored it and it's misled you? Or it's led you away from feeling how you feel now, where you feel safe in yourself?

• 42:17Speaker 01

  Yeah, I definitely feel so reflective on like certain career moments where it was very easy for me to let other people make decisions for me. And then and then when it wouldn't work, be like, ah, I should have said something, you know? Oh, why didn't I say? Oh, but there wasn't enough time. There just wasn't enough time. We just and and realizing like, man, I spent some key pivotal moments in my career.

• 42:44Speaker 01

  Feeling like I was being far more reactive to what was happening than like proactive and setting myself up to like fully be present, you know, and I look back at it and I'm like, I'm very proud of myself for having made it through those moments. But like, there was moments where, and, and this is like even deeper on like the, uh, the experiences I used to have with like anxiety and panic attacks, you know, I didn't know that that was like my body physically telling me something's wrong. Like, you're not okay. But because you're scared to let other people down, you're scared of what other people might say, you push through anyways. And I realized like, just because you can, doesn't mean you should. And I think that that's one

• 43:28Speaker 01

  of my most valuable lessons, for sure. Cause there was, I mean, many moments before going on to a stage. And, I mean, we're talking full blown tears, can't breathe. If you've had a panic attack, you know, the world is ending. And there's also this like subconscious part of you that's like, girl, breathe, just breathe, you know, you know what this is, you know, but your nervous system can't tell the difference between like the mental bear and the real bear that's in the room. And there's no bears in the room. So like chillax, it's okay, you know? Um, yeah, just being really young and in really high stress situations, like, you know, you're everybody's boss, but technically everybody's older than you. And it's just such

• 44:10Speaker 01

  an interesting dynamic to have grown up in. And so I think that that has been the most valuable lesson for me up until this point, you know, just like, yeah, just because you can, doesn't mean you should.

• 44:21Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, that's good advice. Well said. When you were talking about people pleasing there, and that naturally happens in environments where like you said, even though you're the boss, everyone's older than you, it's, it's natural to want to please our elders in the same ways we tried to please our parents and our family. And I know you've worked a lot on therapy and that's an area of your life you've invested in deeply. How is therapy or what work have you done in therapy that's helped you identify your people pleasing tendencies and allow you to start reframing and reshaping them? Because I think so many of us often work so hard at pleasing people that we end up

• 45:02Jay Shetty?

  displeasing and disconnecting from ourselves. And we don't realize that in the attempt to make someone else happy. We're making ourselves more unhappy and miserable. And and the other person's not happy either because they can tell that it's not. It's not coming from an authentic, genuine place. It's just coming from a place of like, I don't want to cause any trouble. So what's some of the work that you've done? Or what's some of the lessons that you've been able to illuminate about your triggers? And where they come from and reframing how do people? How to move away from people, please?

• 45:34Speaker 01

  Yeah, well, like I said, it's definitely like a daily practice for me. But I think a lot of the first, I would say like the first two years of therapy for me were very reactive to what was happening in real time. I wasn't really comfortable with the idea of shining a spotlight on what the root cause of anything was, you know? It was very ambiguous in the sense of like, it's gotta be this, this, this, because this happened. And so going back to like the the reactiveness of the first two years for me is is funny because yeah, there was a lot of small fires that I had to put out in that moment. It was a very high stress time in my career, in my personal life, when I had first started therapy. But I think when I really surrendered to the fact that this goes so much deeper than

• 46:16Speaker 01

  just what's happening around me, but it's like how I exist in all of it. Like that is when I was like, oh, yeah, this this goes a lot deeper. And a lot of it is, you know, childhood stuff. And when I think about, you know, big part of my childhood was also shared in an industry that, you know, my parents were very, very young. They knew nothing about it, like quite literally. And and even then, I like to think I came out kind of OK. But, you know, like, they they couldn't really protect me from much when it came to that stuff. And then the fact that they were young parents when they got married and and had children, like they were babies raising babies. And so there was a lot of things I had to like, learn for myself and teach for myself.

• 46:58Speaker 01

  And so I think having a lot more empathy for myself was like a big step in therapy because it was hard for me to accept the fact that I went without things. Like, what do you mean? But we tried our best, but we did what we had to do. I did what I had to do. There was just so much resistance to the fact that I still didn't get what I really needed. And so I think when you can just come from that space of empathy and compassion for yourself that like everybody really was trying, you really were trying. And it still came out a little short, but hey, it's not too late. Like you can still learn. You can still learn, you know, and that was like, I would say the third year of therapy. And that's crazy because you're right, it's an investment.

• 47:40Speaker 01

  And even then, I mean, some of the, the types of work that I do. You know, I think when you take inventory on your life, you know, like really taking inventory on what your relationships with the people around you in your life look like and felt like from the moment you were born till this current day. Inventory on memories, you know, experiences that you've had and your recollections of them. And then also kind of revisiting those with those people and being like, hey, what was your experience like in this? You know, it's the trippiest thing for me and my siblings because I'm like, we that has had the same parents grow with the same four walls around us and we're all so different.

• 48:19Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 48:19Speaker 01

  And we all process so different, right? So going back to even the deeper level of compassion and empathy, holding space for each other in that way, so beautiful.

• 48:28Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 48:28Speaker 01

  We didn't get to really doing that until we went into family therapy together. So thankful for the resource and opportunity to do that. Because there's, there's a lot of times where I'm like, man, like we, things could have gone one or another way and we kept choosing, you know, family. And we got to a point where like choosing family, this ride or die mentality of like, oh, you know, like, why do we have to ride or die? Why can't we just be, you know, like, nobody's gonna ask that question. And I was the big sister who was like, you know, parentified. So I was like, I'm their parent, they're mine. And they're like, we just want you to be our big sister. We don't need you to be our mom or our dad. And I'm like, what do you mean I have to be? It was like all those rigid roles and stuff. So taking inventory was super helpful for me.

• 49:14Speaker 01

  Gave me so much perspective. And then recently I started doing like parts work, which we're talking about all the parts, you know, like, oh, there's a part of me that's still a child. I'm still freaking afraid of the dark. I, the amount of times I travel and I'm alone in my hotel room and I'm like, I'm gonna sleep with the TV on just so it feels like somebody's here because it's a little scary in here. Um, that's a part of me, you know, that's a part of me that's still trying to figure, figure things out. Still feels a little lonely, that still feels a little lost. Um, there's the boss part of me that feels super empowered and feels like such a visionary over the career that I've built for myself and excited to like continue to attack these like parts of the industry that quite literally needs to just be broken down, you know?

• 49:56Speaker 01

  So more of, more of me can get in there. When I say more of me, I mean other powerful women who have, you know, so much talent and so much just to offer in these spaces. Yeah, it's, it's beautiful. I love the parts work.

• 50:09Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, no, and it's so beautiful to hear someone talk about it so thoroughly and thoughtfully. And I think when you can articulate something effectively, it means you're more likely to be able to process it up here.

• 50:21Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 50:22Jay Shetty?

  Right, when you can.

• 50:23Speaker 01

  The, the feeling part, though, that's, that's the other part. Cause I really, I learned this from myself. It's like, Becky, you're really good at intellectualizing your feelings, but do you feel them? Cue the tears. Like I on purpose sometimes have to like get myself to that space to release. Cause the body keeps count, the body keeps score of all of what you go through. So you can be like, yeah, I was really stressed. I was really, if you don't allow your body to feel it somatically, like that's the other thing that for me, I think I find myself like that was the manifestation of the panic attacks and things like that. Like, oh, right, anxiety, depression, they're not the diagnosis, they're the result of. That was like, whoa,

• 51:08Speaker 01

  big knowledge for me. Cause I was like, oh yeah, I just have anxiety and depression. It's normal. Like I just have panic attacks all the time. Like no, your body is telling you something. You are processing something that you aren't letting your body feel, you know?

• 51:24Jay Shetty?

  It's again a hard reality because allowing yourself to feel it again is, it almost goes back to that giving permission, like just giving ourselves permission to feel, giving ourselves permission to process something, giving ourselves permission to allow for this paradox to exist. When was the last time you cried?

• 51:41Speaker 01

  This morning.

• 51:42Jay Shetty?

  Yeah?

• 51:43Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's why I'm not crying right now.

• 51:46Speaker 01

  No, truly, truthfully speaking, it was this morning. Um, it's such a stressful time, you know, and it's a, it's a time where I feel like in my career. It's funny to me, I'm like, I can walk off a stage and feel like, oh, I want to do that all over again. And then leading up to a performance, I'm like, why do I do this to myself? This is torturous. Um, and I never, I, I like to think that, uh, I, I always regret not working out. I never regret the workout. And so I tried to think about that way in my life. Like, oh, I gotta do hard thing. I was designed to do hard things, you know? But even then, acknowledging that it's hard is super important. Cause then you can have that compassion and empathy for yourself. But if you don't acknowledge that, it can be very challenging.

• 52:32Speaker 01

  You're not gonna leave any room for that compassion and that empathy that you need to have for yourself in order to do those hard things. And so, yeah, your girl was crying, it was a full moon, it was, it was all kinds of things, but it was good. It was a good cry, like, it's not always like a sad cry. Sometimes it's like a, a release, like a sense of relief, you know?

• 52:51Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, it's really interesting that if someone's natural reaction to something was to laugh, we'd see that as normal. But when someone's natural reaction to something is to cry, we see that as wrong.

• 53:02Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 53:02Jay Shetty?

  Or it's like, stop crying, everything will be okay. We'd never say to someone, stop laughing, everything will be okay, right? Or everything is okay, like, it's really interesting to me which emotions we allow for in society and which emotions we try and block others and ourselves from having. And I find that the more we try and stop others from having a certain emotion, it's usually because we block that in ourself for a long, long time. And I love that you cried this morning and that that was a release for you and it was helpful for you and it's powerful. Yeah, I, I think it's, and I'm so glad you shared that with us today as well because at the moment, we're experiencing a really vibrant, abundant with your frequency. And the interesting thing is, when you were crying, you were still vibrant and abundant.

• 53:45Jay Shetty?

  Like, we shouldn't see that as not that, right? Just because it looks different. This episode is brought to you by Mazda. The best habits are the ones we hardly notice, the ones that quietly shape the way we move through life, giving us the confidence to focus on what really matters. That's Mazda's approach to safety. Every Mazda is designed with proactive safety features that help keep you more aware, more connected, and more engaged with your drive, so you can stay present behind the wheel. That commitment has earned Mazda recognition as Consumer Reports' safest new car brand. And as of July 2026, Mazda has won more 2026 IIHS Top Safety Pick Plus awards than any other car brand. Visit www.iihs.org to learn more.

• 54:30Jay Shetty?

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• 54:42Speaker 04

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• 55:11Jay Shetty?

  This episode is brought to you by Orange Theory Fitness. One of the best investments you can make is in your own strength. The choices you make today can help shape how you feel for years to come. Orange Theory Fitness provides a one-hour workout to build strength, burn fat, and build muscle with an expert coach guiding you every step of the way. Head to orangetheory.com/onpurpose to learn more and get your first class free. Orange Theory Fitness, helping people live longer, more vibrant lives. Terms and conditions apply. See webpage in studio for details.

• 55:43Speaker 01

  Yeah, definitely. And I, and I think it's like, it goes back to like those core, those core emotions, you know, really understanding like, again, what are the symptoms of those core emotions? And when I'm feeling this anxiety, when I'm feeling, is it coming from a place of fear? And do I just need to talk about it? Or am I experiencing such great joy that my body really doesn't know how to receive this right now? You know, or am I experiencing both? Because there's two things going on at the same time. Um, and, and I think it's doing that, that check in with yourself that's super important, making time for it. You know, like I genuinely made time to cry today. And I'm very proud that I did that because I would be crying right now, which would have been totally fine as well. But, uh, but I think it's also such a, it's such a sacred practice for me.

• 56:26Speaker 01

  Not crying, but just checking in with myself, that to be able to know how to do that and support myself in that way, instead of seeking it again, in a, in a space of validation, when it feels too late and more reactive. Um, or from people who maybe don't know how to do that for me. It feels empowering to know, oh, I, I got me. I always got me, you know?

• 56:50Jay Shetty?

  Oh, I mean, if we could all just feel like I've always got me.

• 56:53Speaker 01

  And we don't all the time. Like I said, it's, it's a, it's a, it's a daily practice to make that effort. And even then I fall short, you know, I've fallen short even for friends and family members of mine. And I think that's, that's when our human really shows. You know, like there's that window of tolerance. And we can try to expand it as much as possible, but there's, it's still a window. You know, like it's still a window and some days it's this big and some days it can be this big. Um, and so it's just like acknowledging and then expressing that too, just letting everyone, hey, my window's, my window's really small today. It's Becky size. Um, or sometimes it's just like, yo, my window's big. We could fit a whole house through that thing, you know? Everybody bring, come on in. It's nice to just be able to vibe check like that.

• 57:38Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, that's that daily, as you've used the word inventory, that daily check in of like, where am I at? How am I feeling? What can I offer? Is today a internal day or an external day? Like I, I do that all the time too. There are certain days where I can literally be there for anyone and everyone and I am this. Outward person and then there are days where I just wanna be alone and be in silence and stillness. And being able to accept that they're both one in the same thing.

• 58:07Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 58:08Jay Shetty?

  That one is not a better expression of me and one is not a worse expression of me. I think we still live in this world of what's right and wrong and better or worse, good or bad.

• 58:17Speaker 01

  Oh, I can't. That's what I mean about the black and white thinking that I was talking about earlier. And uh, what's that stor- there's a story about the man uh, and he says, well, we'll just have to wait and see, basically. Um, I'm totally not, yes. He's like a father and his son and this thing happens and then they're like, oh, I'm so sorry. And he's like, well, we'll see, you know, we'll see. And it actually, you know, there's so many things that you think are a bad thing, right? Quote unquote, bad thing that are happening, but in reality, it's a good thing. And uh, and then maybe, maybe it turns out to not be a good thing. You just never know, you know, but I like to think uh, that everything happens for you, not to you.

• 58:59Speaker 01

  Like that is my, that is my, my mojo these days. Everything is happening for me, not to me. And it's interesting how you're, the way you exist in those spaces will actually shift. Because you realize, oh, this is in my favor. I'm supposed to learn something from this, you know? I'm supposed to like gain something from this. And that's why the whole concept of failure and success, like navigating this industry since such a young age. There's songs of mine that I love, that I thought deserved to be the number one song. And they're probably like the lowest streaming, whatever, you know? But it's like what it means to me is a win, like that is a success to me, that's not a failure.

• 59:39Speaker 01

  You know, and so it's like redefining what, what success means to you. Uh, redefining what greatness is, it's redefining what all of the, the stuff that life has to offer. And saying, no, this is happening for me, not to me, for me. And I just think it's so, yeah.

• 59:59Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, for anyone who's wondering, the story that Becky was referring to, which she just encapsulated in that point. It's a beautiful Zen story about a man and his son. And the man buys his son a horse, or actually his son finds a horse, I believe. And comes home riding this beautiful horse. And all the villagers are like, wow, this is amazing. Like he's just so incredible that he could tame this wild horse and now he's riding it and look how elegant it is. And the man said, the father says, good thing, bad thing, who knows? Or maybe let's see. And then the next thing that happens is that the son's riding the horse and then he gets thrown off the horse. And when he gets thrown off the horse, his leg gets fractured and he has to have an operation and surgery and whatever else.

• 1:00:44Jay Shetty?

  And everyone in the village is like, oh, my God, this is the worst thing that's ever happened. Oh, no, oh, no, oh, no. And the man says, good thing, bad thing, who knows? Or maybe let's see. And then after that, they come and recruit everyone in the village to join the army because they've got to defend themselves. But this guy can't go and everyone's like, you're so lucky your son's not going because his leg's broken. All of our sons have gone, we're gonna miss them. And the man says, good thing, bad thing, who knows? Or maybe let's see. And it continues that way that it's, and it's really hard in the moment to live that way. Because when it feels like, because our mind has been trained in that good and bad. When something bad is happening, it feels like nothing good can come from it.

• 1:01:25Jay Shetty?

  And the interesting thing is when something good happens, we're also equally convinced nothing bad can come from this. And the truth is those two moments can switch so quickly. And I've been at the intersection of both of them in my life. And I've just found that not seeing things as good or bad, but seeing them as just learning and lessons and healing and growth. And what you just said, which is that it's all about what's happening for us. If we can just live in that way, it's better than the dichotomy of good and bad, positive and negative.

• 1:01:59Speaker 01

  Oh, Jay Shetty, ladies and gentlemen, no. I just, yeah, yeah. I mean, you definitely told the story better than I did.

• 1:02:07Jay Shetty?

  No, no, I'm just filling in the gaps.

• 1:02:09Speaker 01

  No, but I really appreciate you going into that, that much detail. Cause I think that is, I, I, I wish that for the, the future generations to really know that. To really know that there is no such thing as, as good or bad. There's just you, just doing, doing what you can do for yourself, whatever that looks like, you know? And, and unfortunately, I think what happens for a lot of youth that grows up in, you know, communities like the ones I grew up in. It's like, we're doing a lot of things that we were never taught. You know, like, we were, we're doing a lot of things that we were never taught. And so there's a lot of like self doubt that creeps in. There's a lot of shame that creeps in. There's a lot of, oh, you know, do I trust myself?

• 1:02:54Speaker 01

  Or do I just stay where I'm comfortable? And it's just like, nah, just, just do the best that you can. Whatever that looks like, just do the best that you can. You know, and I, I, I feel proud that there's moments in my life that I can look back and say, wow, I really, I really showed up for myself, you know, in the best way I knew how to. Maybe we'd look a little different today, but even then, like, very proud nonetheless. And so, yeah, I, I, I hope that for the future generations, that they leave room for themselves to know that good thing, bad thing. I don't know, guess we'll see, you know?

• 1:03:24Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, yeah. And you know, it's, you know what's really interesting, Becky? Obviously, I went, so I went on tour for the first time this year with my book. It was, what you just, it was hard and grueling and exhausting. And at the same time, the most fulfilling, beautiful, powerful thing. We did, I think it was around just under forty cities across the world. And it was insane as an experience. And I'm so grateful I did it, but I couldn't do anything else but that for the time that I was out. I think overall, we did that in like eighty days, all of that. And it was, it was a lot of travel and everything else. But I was obviously touring for my book, Eight Rules of Love. And it was really interesting to me because there were, there were lots of moments.

• 1:04:07Jay Shetty?

  So the difference about, for those of you who came to my show, you already know, but it wasn't a speech or a lecture. It was literally like a social experiment where I would take people up from the audience. People would be in uncomfortable situations. There'd be humor. There were moments where people were sharing their story with the entire, you know, thousands of people in the room. It was really moving. And there was one area where we really focused a lot on, and it was this idea of how the biggest space we lose ourselves is often in romantic relationships. And romantic relationships tend to be the relationships where we invest the most of us and often find that we leave feeling the most broken or hurt or whatever it may have been.

• 1:04:50Jay Shetty?

  And I wanted to ask you, like, how have you looked at healing through romantic relationships that you've had? We've talked a lot about platonic friendship, family and life, but. Romantic relationships tend to affect us deeper. I don't know if you agree with that or feel that way, but.

• 1:05:05Speaker 01

  Yeah, I mean, I'm a sucker for love.

• 1:05:07Jay Shetty?

  So am I, so I get it.

• 1:05:09Speaker 01

  And I'm so excited to talk about this with you. Because I know you are. And I think for me, it's because it doesn't get any closer to your heart than that. You know, this is, this is the type of experience that isn't, uh, that's actually chosen. You're not born into, you know, you're not, uh, placed into. This is, this is a space of choice. I, I enjoy this person. I enjoy the time that's spent with this person. And I think that there's so much to be revealed in a dynamic like that about yourself. And you don't realize it because sometimes you're so focused on the other person on the other side. That when you realize like, oh, this is actually about me too. You know, it, it, it's as close to your heart as it gets.

• 1:05:52Speaker 01

  And I think my healing in that is the deepest it's gotten of how do I exist in these spaces? You know, the, the self accountability part, the self reflective part of like, what part of me shows up in these spaces? And going to the parts work and stuff that I've done in therapy, it's just like, yeah. It's powerful. It's as, I think it's, it's as powerful as it could ever get.

• 1:06:17Jay Shetty?

  Hmm, because it's the most revealing of your weaknesses.

• 1:06:22Speaker 01

  Of your weaknesses, yeah, and your vulnerabilities and, and all of that stuff. And also maybe not your weaknesses, but also your strengths. You know, it can show you like just how, how strong you are, how giving you can be to someone. Finding parts of yourself that you didn't know existed, you know? I think it's a very inspiring space to be in. Uh, I was talking, I was to say, talking about this with a friend, but it, it funny enough is, is somebody who also works in the industry. And she goes, oh, amiga, I used to be told all the time that I'm so unlucky in love. And I begged the tip, I've been so lucky in love. And I'm like, it's that, that change of, of mindset of knowing that like everything is happening for us, not to us.

• 1:07:02Speaker 01

  And I think that when I think of my journey of healing and relationships, you know, some of my earliest relationships and how I existed in them. And then the ones that I've had in like my, my, you know, teenage years, young adult years. Um, and how they evolve and how you change so much, so much.

• 1:07:22Jay Shetty?

  What have you turned to that you'd encourage other people to turn to, to find that? Strength within themselves and that connection with themselves when it almost feels like the foundations are broken, like those three legs are just destroyed almost.

• 1:07:36Speaker 01

  Well, are the three legs actually destroyed? I think it's like, again, it's a, it's an opportunity to reflect inward. What is real, what is not real? And going back to like what's happening in the real world versus what's happening, what's happening on social media. It's not always reflective of the same thing, you know? And, and one's experience in something can be so different than someone else's. But leaving room for yours is super important. And then also being selective in who you share that with because it is such a sacred thing. You know, and I think that's been one of the most revealing things for me in this, you know, chapter of my life is like, who do I share with? With everything? Who do I share with? Who deserves to be in these spaces with me?

• 1:08:18Speaker 01

  In my pain, in my peak, in my process? All of those things like I, I deserve to have filters. I deserve to hold space. I deserve to just be and not have to explain. You know, and I, and I think being a, a person who's grown up on social media, there has been so many times in my life where I've just been like,

• 1:08:51Speaker 01

  and then what you say, how you say it, who said it? Always gets mixed up, always gets used against you in some shape or form. And, and I think for me, it's just like, no, I'm, I'm good. Cause all my three legs are, they're good. They've been solidified, they're being catered to, they're being taken care of. And so my, my table is standing, you know? And I'm, I'm proud of that. I'm very proud of that.

• 1:09:19Jay Shetty?

  To me, it's really powerful what you just said now around the idea of. We get so lost in a conversation that's happening outside of us that isn't actually reality. And so almost we're looking at the wrong things, we're arguing about the wrong things, we're internally having a debate about something that isn't the thing.

• 1:09:40Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 1:09:40Jay Shetty?

  I actually had a friend I was talking to a week ago and we were discussing, you know, he's been going through some stuff and there was someone in his life that he had some rightful animosity towards, right? Like it would be, it would be okay for him to feel this certain way about it. And I was asking him, what was the big win and what was the ego win?

• 1:10:11Speaker 01

  Hmm.

• 1:10:13Jay Shetty?

  And I was asking him like, what is really the win in this situation? And he was saying, the win in this situation is that my family member can move on from what they've been going through.

• 1:10:22Speaker 01

  Hmm.

• 1:10:23Jay Shetty?

  And I said, what's the ego win? And the ego win was that person's life is ruined, right? The other person that they were mad at.

• 1:10:30Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:10:30Jay Shetty?

  And it was really interesting, like just looking at it from that perspective of like, it's natural to have the ego win become strong in a situation. But then when you look at the bigger picture and you zoom out, you're like, oh, actually now when I make sense of this, that actually is irrelevant to what I really care about. Does that make any sense?

• 1:10:49Speaker 01

  Yeah, a hundred, a hundred percent.

• 1:10:50Jay Shetty?

  And so I think to me, it's, I'm always reflecting on that, like, what's my ego win in this scenario? And what's the bigger win in this scenario? And that only comes when you take a step back and what you said, you look at the reality and you look at the filter that you just talked about. To me, that's the biggest one. And I love how you said it wasn't just about the pains, it was the peaks.

• 1:11:12Speaker 01

  It was a peak too.

• 1:11:12Jay Shetty?

  That's so well said, like.

• 1:11:13Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:11:14Jay Shetty?

  Who's the first person you want to call when you win? And who's the first person you call when you want to lose?

• 1:11:20Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:11:20Jay Shetty?

  And there's a filter to that.

• 1:11:21Speaker 01

  There is a filter to that on, on what the qualifications of someone, anyone in any way that comes into your space. And I think going again, so crazy, everything goes back to my childhood of just being like giving, giving, giving, giving. When do you take? And not take just to take, I mean like receive. You know, like that to me is is uh is is like the thing to really. Be just thoughtful about and so those filters are again constantly being reevaluated for me. And that's why I say growing up, I'm not grown up, I'm growing up and I'm sure. You know, the same way I felt this, I felt such a strong sense of self at sixteen.

• 1:12:05Speaker 01

  And I look back at her and I'm like. You better give me some of that girlfriend, I don't know what that was or what you was on, but you were you were locked in, but also. Not aware of what was really out there in the world and so you go out in the world and you see what's out there and you're learning and you're adapting and you're taking all these things in and. Things start to feel a little different, your surroundings, your circumstances, they all shift. And then, you know, that this is how I feel at twenty six, who's to say I'm not gonna feel any different when I'm thirty six? You know, and then forty six and so on. And so I think just like leaving room again for that like. That humanness and that being in process and. The filters, you know, like not the filters we see on social media, but the the real filters that matter, you know, we can't just be drinking any water.

• 1:12:50Speaker 01

  You think you're really sick by drinking just any water, you know, but if also if you just drink only purified water, you're not getting the minerals that you need. You're not getting, you know, so you can't, you can't be too guarded.

• 1:13:00Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 1:13:01Speaker 01

  Cause then that's a very lonely space to live in, you know, to have these walls that no one could ever get through. But but if you have no walls. You have no no boundaries, no anything and everyone and anyone can come in whenever they want to. I don't think that's a way to live life either. You know, so uh I I I like to think of the um the the house that I was born into. Had no roof sometimes, you know, maybe some of the doors were a little funky, there was no locks on the doors and and the the windows are a little broken. But there comes a time where you grow up and you can say, I don't have to live in this house anymore. Hmm. I can go build a new house. I can build my own house where the windows, I can open and close them as I want to, shut

• 1:13:46Speaker 01

  the blinds or let in the light. There's locks on my doors. I can let people in and share in my, in my space and share a meal with them and, and even if they'd like to move into my house because I choose for them to, to be in the house, beautiful. But also there's locks on my doors and not just anybody can come into my house. Hmm. You know, knowing that, knowing that I, I've, I've provided a roof over my head that yeah, if it rains, we're good. Hmm. We're fine. You know, it can, it can come crashing down. Hmm. And I will be safe. I think that's, that's beautiful. Like we're all building our own houses. Hmm. That look very different than the houses.

• 1:14:27Jay Shetty?

  This episode is brought to you by Indeed. I know how important every hire is for a business. If you need to make the right hire, this is a job for sponsored jobs. Indeed sponsored jobs helps find quality candidates when you need the most. You can reach who you need based on whatever criteria you're looking for, like skills, certifications or location. In fact, people are finding quality hires on Indeed right now. In the minute I've been talking to you, companies like yours made 27 hires on Indeed, according to Indeed data worldwide. Spend less time searching and more time actually interviewing candidates who check all your boxes. Listeners of this show will get a $75 sponsored job credit at indeed.com/podcast.

• 1:15:10Jay Shetty?

  That's indeed.com/podcast. Terms and conditions apply. Need to hire? This is a job for Indeed sponsored jobs. This episode is brought to you by Vinted. Value can be found anywhere, even in the clothes sitting untouched in our closets. That's where Vinted comes in. Vinted is a secondhand marketplace app where you can sell clothes you no longer want and get more value out of them. Whether you're running out of space, moving, or simply updating your wardrobe. Listing items is a quick and simple process and once something sells, Vinted creates a prepaid shipping label for you. And the best part, there are no seller fees, so you keep what you earn. It's a simple way to clear out your closet, be less wasteful, and maybe make some extra

• 1:15:55Jay Shetty?

  money along the way. Give your clothes a second life with Vinted. Download the Vinted app for free to start selling with no seller fees. So you keep every dollar you earn. This episode is brought to you by Whole Foods Market. If you're talking about quality food, you can't forget Whole Foods Market, who've been holding themselves to the highest standards since they opened in 1980. That means you'll see thousands of organic products across their stores, from the produce department to the aisles. It also means you'll never see certain ingredients. They've banned artificial sweeteners and colors, high fructose corn syrup and more, so you can shop with peace of mind. Shop Whole Foods Market in-store or online.

• 1:16:39Speaker 01

  We grew up in.

• 1:16:40Jay Shetty?

  That is so powerful. Becky G. He dusted off his shoulder. That was like.

• 1:16:45Speaker 01

  Thank you, thank you.

• 1:16:46Jay Shetty?

  No, that was so powerful. Like, I love that analogy. It's so, it's so true. There are some people you only meet in restaurants. There are some people who make it to the porch of the front door. There are some people who make it inside to the living room. There are some people who you'll cook a meal for. Some people just order in for. And there's some people who, not everyone's allowed into your private spaces, your bedroom, you know, like. I think for people to know that they can set how intimate they want to be with different people.

• 1:17:16Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:17:16Jay Shetty?

  And that there isn't a policy that exists outside of that. It's something you have to set for yourself. Is such an important thing to remind people because I think people feel forced through stages, they feel uncomfortable through the different steps and. For you, I mean, you just referred to the home. I was wondering, I think it was, was it when you were nine years old that the home you grew up in?

• 1:17:40Speaker 01

  Yeah, I was, I was, uh, it didn't burn down. So the economy at the time was just, it was a very scary time. There was a recession happening and I just think that, you know, at the time, my parents were so young, they had no idea. They were first time homeowners, no idea really what type of mortgage they had gotten, you know, committed to and you hope for the best, but not necessarily prepared for the worst, you know? This is one of those things where I think. I mean, thank God for our families that we had, like this family support that we had because we lost everything. We, we lost our home. I went from having like my, my first own bedroom. And most of, most of my life I shared, uh, up until that point, I'd shared a bedroom with my siblings, all three of them.

• 1:18:25Speaker 01

  And so I remember this house that we were living in. It was the first year I had ever had my own room and I was so excited. I was like, this is what Lizzie McGuire has. This is what like all the girls on Disney Channel, they get to put posters up on their wall and they get to like, you know, rhinestone their closets and whatever. And, and I just remember like being so excited about moving into that house. And then when we lost it, just feeling like, oh, that, that didn't last for very long. I think like subconsciously that started something in my mind that felt like, oh, when you have good things, they go away. Nothing lasts forever, so don't hold on to it too tight. And I'm thankful for like the flexibility that that gave me in life, but it also makes me very sad for my younger self

• 1:19:09Speaker 01

  that really believed that everything good that happened to me came with a really hard price to pay. You know, so like if you have good things, oh, you gotta be ready, gotta be ready for something that, you know, the, the, for the shoe to drop. And, uh, and so we moved into my grandparents converted garage in Inglewood, uh, where I was born and it was a garage, I would say the size of the studio, actually. And it was all six of us, my mom, my dad, uh, my two brothers and my sister. And there was bunk beds. I slept on the bottom bunk with my sister, my brothers up top and my parents on the futon bed that, you know, they would make couch during the day. So we'd have a little bit more room. And we had a pop-up table from Ikea that I would do my homework on and eat my cereal.

• 1:19:52Speaker 01

  That was the knockoff brand of Cocoa Puffs, not the real one. All to, all to fast forward to the day that I decided, you know, I, I want to do this. I was obsessed with, which is really funny to me. I had mentioned Lizzie McGuire, blonde. White girl. I mentioned I was obsessed with Shirley Temple. Young, blonde, white girl. I was obsessed with Dakota Fanning. Blonde, white girl. I don't know what it was, but it was something about how young they were and how like empowered they were and they were doing these like very adult things, you know, they were like they were the heroes of the stories that they were doing and, and, and acting. And I just, I remember thinking like, oh, I want to do that. Like, I wanna

• 1:20:34Speaker 01

  and shout out to the internet. I go on Google and I look up like, what do you need to do? Or what, who represents Dakota Fanning and all these things? Like, how do you become an actress? And um, my first agency that I signed with uh, at nine years old was Osbrink uh, agency. Shout out to my first agents. And at the time, they were representing Dakota Fanning. And I did not know what the heck a monologue was. I didn't know what headshots were. I didn't know any of that was. Uh, but I just knew I really wanted to learn. I really wanted to do this. And a huge shout out to my parents too, because again, they, they knew nothing about this. They had three other kids. You know, to take care of too. And the drive from Inglewood to Hollywood is, is, you know, with traffic especially is not, not very close.

• 1:21:18Speaker 01

  LA County's big, but they really supported me through that. And I have like a little, like I printed out a little contract to my parents and I said, give me six months, just six months. And Nine years old. Yeah, if nothing happens, then like, okay, like, you know, that's fine. Like, I'll leave you alone. We'll pretend this never happened. Or we can renegotiate our terms. You know, we can renegotiate our terms after six months if all goes well. And yeah, going back to just like that instinct, that agency, that empowerment that I felt to just like to do this thing that no one in my family had ever done. Like, there was really no point of reference.

• 1:21:58Speaker 01

  And I'm glad I did it because I look back at the garage, which is like still a real place where my family still lives. You know, there's, there's a lot of things up there. My grandma has a couple of like little shrine things of like, oh, you know, I'm like, grandma, this isn't a museum. There's people walking by the house. And they're like, is this the house that Becky lived in? My grandma's like, absolutely. I'm like, no. Very sacred space. Oh, but yeah, it's like, it's crazy to like, look back at and think like, this is, you know, this is where it all started, that fire within me that felt like, no, I can really do this. Like, let's, let's try this.

• 1:22:34Jay Shetty?

  That's so spectacular. That's special. That's special how so many big dreams start from so many small places. And, and small places within us, too.

• 1:22:43Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 1:22:43Jay Shetty?

  And I was gonna ask you that, like, how have you, now that you're building this new home, that has windows that work and has doors that have locks, what's changed about how you decide and define how someone gets to get closer to you and, and connected to you? Like, what has changed? What has evolved? What have you learned growing up about who you allow close?

• 1:23:13Speaker 01

  Yeah, I think it's like, again, it comes back to knowing not anything has to be concrete. You know, you can, you can vibe with people. You can enjoy beautiful moments with people. Um, and then, and then the moment that something doesn't feel right, you can speak to that. And everything is always, to me, always owed a conversation. You know, I've had friendships in my life that, just in all honesty, I, I outgrew and there's all love and it was a conversation. And it's sometimes that's simple, but I think it's just like leaving room for that growth. Just like, it's gonna change. That's the point. Like, we grow. Like, we change. Going back to the ice cream, seven years ago it was chocolate. Today it's frozen yogurt.

• 1:23:54Jay Shetty?

  I'm still hurt by that, because I love chocolates.

• 1:23:57Speaker 01

  I'll give it a try again. But, you know, like, you're literal, like, you're, even your physical body changes. Why wouldn't our minds and our hearts also expand and change in those ways too, you know? So I think it's like, and it's not just in the way that I hope to be received by other people, but it's just, it's also like, or like how I hold space for other people. It's also like being around people who hold that same space for me. You know, like, I think understanding that these are like mutual spaces, right? Like, it's empowering when you're like, oh, this is a choice. Like, I get to choose to be here. You got to choose to be here, like, and we're here together. Like, that to me has been the most beautiful part of my, like,

• 1:24:41Speaker 01

  evolution and healing is like, man, like, when I go on tour, my fans buy their tickets because they chose to be there. Like, you know, the same way I chose to walk onto that stage. Like, let's not rob ourselves of that, like, empowerment, that agency that we have over our lives to decide, to choose what's good for you, what's best for you, what motivates you, what inspires you. And that can be the bad things, that could be the hard things, that could be the, because there's no such thing as good, bad, uh, whatever, you know? It's, it just is.

• 1:25:16Jay Shetty?

  You know, when I, when I was speaking to you, and I love this, uh, and I love it when I get to experience it in someone, because I think it's quite rare. But you would just have such a, like, strong spirit of just, like, positivity, mindset. Like, obviously, you're working on all of these things as we've been talking about today. And I love seeing it be so tough in someone. Not, I'm not saying that, of course, like you said, you cried this morning. Like, I'm not, I'm not saying, I'm not saying without, I'm actually more tough. I'm not saying tough in the sense that there isn't any pain or stress, of course. To, and to me, the display of, to yourself of pain is even tougher to be able to admit to yourself that, hey, I'm working on this stuff.

• 1:25:59Jay Shetty?

  How have you stayed so open to that mindset of trust and forgiveness for yourself and others when it almost seems like there's so many reasons to not be that way?

• 1:26:14Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:26:14Jay Shetty?

  If that makes sense?

• 1:26:15Speaker 01

  Well, I think it's just going back to, like, it makes, it makes it easier for our human mind to see things in black and white, right? It makes our life easier, but actually, it doesn't. I feel like it cuts us short from the experience that we're supposed to have. I like, I, I believe in karmic energy. I believe that like, we are here for a reason. You know, there's, there's, we're here on purpose. There is a purpose to our pain, to our, our, our happiness, to our greatest joys, to our anger. There's purpose to all of it. And so I think just like, really allowing yourself to be open to it is, is where I think I find it. It's like, it is that story of the father and his son. Like, I don't think that there's these practices that have been around

• 1:27:00Speaker 01

  for like, generations and generations and decades, you know? To think that like, yeah, it's just a bunch of hocus pocus.

• 1:27:08Jay Shetty?

  Hmm.

• 1:27:09Speaker 01

  You know, like, I, I just don't, I don't think so. Like, I think that's why I have a hard time trusting, like, the power of technology sometime. That's a whole other conversation. But it hasn't been around long enough for me to really understand what this is and what it's capable of.

• 1:27:23Jay Shetty?

  Great point, yeah.

• 1:27:23Speaker 01

  And the impacts that it has, like I said, on, on the future generations. Like, it is, it's intimidating. And I think, but you gotta be open to it.

• 1:27:30Jay Shetty?

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:27:30Speaker 01

  Because if it cuts our processing time, you know, by half and our kids can learn more, that's, that's great. But I, I believe in balance. I believe that we need balance as human beings. And I think that there's just so much more to this life than just being like, well, I don't like you. It's like, okay, well, maybe there's something in that person that you don't like that actually reflects something that you don't like about yourself. But you're not ready for that conversation. You know, some people just aren't. And that's totally fine. But I am that person. Like, put, yeah, I love it. I really do.

• 1:28:04Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. I could sense that. I could tell that. And it's, and it's, it's fun to watch. I, I think it's, it's really meaningful to see it in someone. You've talked about having guardian angels.

• 1:28:14Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:28:15Jay Shetty?

  And I wanted to ask you, when do you feel most connected to your guardian angels?

• 1:28:19Speaker 01

  Oh, um, ah.

• 1:28:22Speaker 01

  I feel like my faith journey is very interesting because it was something that I was introduced to again at a very, very young age. Because I grew up in a very religious family. My mom was kind of the one to break that up for us, which I'm very thankful for because it allowed me the opportunity to kind of find it on my own instead of it be something that was forced. Cause like my mom, I remember many times she'd tell me stories, you know, your grandma would just oh, call us in, we'd be like playing outside, having the time of our lives. Like kids don't even play outside anymore, you know? But here, here, there we were like playing outside and my mom would make us come inside to pray the rosary and we'd be like, again, come on grandma, come on mom, you know?

• 1:29:03Speaker 01

  And, and what I loved is like, as a kid, I would have so many questions. Like I'd, I'd tell my mom, like, you know, sometimes when I was little, this is very funny. My grandma would sometimes be like, kind of insinuate like, oh, you know, people who don't go to church are like, they're on, they're on the bad list, the naughty list, right? And, and so my mom would be like, you know how grandma, you know, we're gonna go to Diosito's house, you know, which was like to go to church. We're gonna go to Diosito's house. I'm like, why doesn't Diosito come to our house? Like, why can't he come to our house? Like, what's this concept of us having to go to him? Why can't he come to us? Like, challenging these things all the time. And I just remember just thinking like, no, spirituality is a mutual connection with source, with greater source. And for me, my connection with God is just like,

• 1:29:47Speaker 01

  yeah, like he loves me regardless. There's times where I pray and I mean some of the stuff that I share, I'm just like, you know what I mean? You know what I mean, you know? And I think that that's like, I, I love that for me, that I was able to discover that, that faith and, and I feel so protected and, and some of the moments that are so simple. You know, I mean, not just like in my moments of, of deep like confusion or like pain, when I am challenged to like surrender that control, right? When I say I practice let go, let God. But even just like when I'm by myself in my house, like making my coffee and I'm playing like, I don't know, a certain song will come on like on my playlist and I'm just like, that's my grandpa. I know it.

• 1:30:28Speaker 01

  Like I know it, you know, or today, a big thing for me is, uh, is dragonflies. I have a dragonfly tattoo. And they, they definitely represent something very significant for me. And I mean, for months now, on the way here.

• 1:30:43Speaker 01

  Dragonflies. I was like, oh, everything's gonna be fine. We're chilling.

• 1:30:48Jay Shetty?

  I love that. It's beautiful and it's wonderful to have these notes and signs and, you know, moments that make us feel aligned. We all need them in some capacity. And I think we all look for them because we're all trying to feel connected to something higher and bigger and more powerful than ourselves, whatever it may be, whether it's in the world or whether it's beyond. And it's nice hearing about your spiritual journey and how it's evolved because it is so personal. And there's a beautiful, there's a beautiful statement. I believe it's, I believe it was said by David Lynch. And he said that prayer is you talking to God and meditation is God talking to you.

• 1:31:32Jay Shetty?

  And I've always loved that, that idea of God, of God, universe, whatever you call it. But the idea that prayer is when you're speaking and meditation is when you're listening.

• 1:31:41Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 1:31:41Jay Shetty?

  And that communication is mutual. As you said, it's this two-way connection. It's not a one-way as it's often portrayed or comes across. And I really find that as well, that sometimes my job is to stop talking and just to listen.

• 1:31:56Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 1:31:57Jay Shetty?

  And so often we're just talking too much. You're trying to figure it all out or problem solving. And that listening ability is so lost in the art of communication.

• 1:32:07Speaker 01

  A hundred percent.

• 1:32:08Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 1:32:08Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's why I said, you know, everything is always a conversation. I think that's how we should look at it. Even things that can't talk back to me. My dogs that live in my mom's house, you know? All of that, I love them so much. There is a mutual love. They can't necessarily talk back to me, but I listen. I take the time to like, connect with them, you know? But I think it's about being that type of, you know, intentional type of person, I guess, when you're having these daily practices. And that's why I think when I like meditate, like there was like a shift instead of saying like, what do I want? What do I feel right now? It's like, what do you want? Like it's, it's, you have to ask your subconscious. You have to bring parts of yourself forward, you know, to really receive what that is. Because our psyche is like,

• 1:32:53Speaker 01

  it's crazy. There's certain things that I have unpacked in therapy. I was like, oh, I didn't even remember that that happened, you know? Like, and it's because our minds are very powerful. Our minds were designed to protect us, right? Like our human body. Wants to survive and avoid death at all costs. But our spirit needs death. Our spirit needs death, the, the, the thing of giving up something to then have a rebirth of something else, to gain something else. Like, you have to be willing to do that, you know? Like, there's so many parts of myself that I think,

• 1:33:33Speaker 01

  you know, I, I have kind of like resolved with and it's beautiful to look back at. Like, that's, that's skin that I needed to shed. That's a beautiful thing. But there's like, you know, parts in that, that probably people I grew up with, people that knew me to be a certain way, that was more beneficial for them, um, would probably be like, she changed.

• 1:33:55Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 1:33:56Speaker 01

  Like, no, I did. I actually did, I did change, you know? And then I don't think that's a bad thing. So it's funny how, yeah, spirit can need something different than like what our body is like designed for. And you're like, no, no, it's not the literal thing. It's, it's the shedding, you know? It's the shedding that needs to happen.

• 1:34:14Jay Shetty?

  Yeah. Becky, it's been such a joy talking to you today and I'm so glad that we've finally connected in this way. And we've got to share your abundant energetic spirit with everyone through this

• 1:34:24Speaker 01

  Thank you so much.

• 1:34:25Jay Shetty?

  episode. And I'm hoping that everyone who listens to it can kind of, you know, walk away feeling that positive energy through your voice, through your energy into them as well, because I really feel like it's come across for me too.

• 1:34:36Speaker 01

  Thank you.

• 1:34:37Jay Shetty?

  You just, yeah, you just have this spark and I'm hoping that everyone today got to feel a bit of it. But we end every On Purpose episode with our final five, which is a question that has to be answered in one word to one sentence maximum. So Becky G, these are your final five. Uh, the first question is, what is the best advice you've ever heard or received?

• 1:34:58Speaker 01

  You miss a hundred percent of the shots you never take.

• 1:35:01Jay Shetty?

  Hmm.

• 1:35:01Speaker 01

  I think that's one sentence, right?

• 1:35:03Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, yeah, that's good.

• 1:35:04Speaker 01

  Just one occasion. I was like, is this supposed to really be one word?

• 1:35:06Jay Shetty?

  That works, that works. No, no, no, one word to one sentence is fine. Uh, question number two, what is the worst advice you've ever heard or received?

• 1:35:14Speaker 01

  I don't know, I'm that positive Patty. I'm like, even those negative things, they're a positive thing. Ah, I would say, um, just make sure you really think about it. It's like, no, you could overthink it.

• 1:35:27Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 1:35:27Speaker 01

  That's what I would say. Just make sure you really think about it. Really think about what you're saying.

• 1:35:31Jay Shetty?

  Yeah.

• 1:35:31Speaker 01

  Or really think about, you know, what is that you're asking for. No, no, no, I trust my gut. I would say probably that's the worst advice. You should really think about that.

• 1:35:39Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, got it.

• 1:35:42Jay Shetty?

  Uh, question number three. What is something you're currently trying to unlearn?

• 1:35:49Speaker 01

  Definitely people pleasing.

• 1:35:51Jay Shetty?

  What's the hardest part about giving it up?

• 1:35:53Speaker 01

  Uh, it's just second nature. You don't even realize like how you practice that on a daily basis, you know? Like I said, growing up in this industry, just it, I feel like there's a lot of child stars that are set up to not be very successful as adults, who are trying to take agency over their own life. And so, uh, just knowing that like your feelings matter. How you feel matters and also not everybody needs to participate in that.

• 1:36:20Jay Shetty?

  Mm hmm. And that even if you spend your whole life trying to please everyone, chances are they'll still be upset with you.

• 1:36:28Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:36:28Jay Shetty?

  For something else.

• 1:36:29Speaker 01

  Yeah, and again, maybe it has more to do with them than it does you. So totally, yeah.

• 1:36:35Jay Shetty?

  Great. All right, question number four. What's something that you used to value that isn't important anymore?

• 1:36:42Speaker 01

  Hmm, I would say like the optics. The optics of what it is to like be in like the limelight. Like going back to like that thing that like, oh, everybody needs to like you and like, you know, you gotta, you gotta feed the beast or whatever. I don't, I don't think I really value that anymore. I value like my, my personal peace.

• 1:37:04Jay Shetty?

  Hmm.

• 1:37:04Speaker 01

  More than anything else.

• 1:37:05Jay Shetty?

  Hmm, I like that.

• 1:37:07Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:37:07Jay Shetty?

  Beautiful. Fifth and final question. If you could create one law that everyone in the world had to follow, what would it be?

• 1:37:15Speaker 01

  Oh, that everybody practiced and had access to some form of therapy.

• 1:37:20Jay Shetty?

  Yeah, I'd love for, to be able to help that happen too.

• 1:37:23Speaker 01

  Yes. Yeah, the access to, to resource, I think is, is very crucial. But I think I would make that like immediate, like starting today. Sign on the dotted line. Like I think we all deserve safe spaces. I don't think we have enough of them.

• 1:37:41Jay Shetty?

  Well said. Becky G, everyone. Thank you so much, Becky, for having so much presence, openness, vulnerability with us here today. And everyone who's been listening or watching, make sure you tag me and Becky with your favorite moments. I love seeing what stuck with you, maybe what's helped you, maybe something you're gonna pass on to a friend because you know they need to hear it. I know Becky and I would love to see that. Please make sure you do that. And Becky, thank you so much. I can't wait for everyone to go and stream Esquinas right now. It's available. If you're listening right now, you can go stream right, right now. So go to everywhere you listen to music and go and listen in. But thank you so much, Becky.

• 1:38:18Speaker 01

  Thank you. I really appreciate you so much.

• 1:38:21Jay Shetty?

  Thank you so much. If you love this episode, you'll really enjoy my episode with Selena Gomez on "Befriending Your Inner Critic and How to Speak to Yourself with More Compassion."

• 1:38:32Speaker 05

  My fears are only going to continue to show me what I'm capable of. The more that I face my fears, the more that I feel I'm gaining strength, I'm gaining wisdom, and I just wanna keep doing that.

• 1:38:45Speaker 02

  Mr. President, my company tore me of the explosion on our rig on October 2nd. Causing massive water displacement and triggering a tsunami.

• 1:38:53Jay Shetty?

  They all heap the blame on me.

• 1:38:55Speaker 02

  Tom Cruise is. Digger got us into this mess, and Digger's gonna dig us up. From the director of Birdman and The Revenant.

• 1:39:02Speaker 03

  What would happen if I stopped doing it? You're stalled, you're freezing there, that's what...

• 1:39:06Speaker 02

  With great power comes great deniability.

• 1:39:09Speaker 03

  I'm not the first nanny.

• 1:39:11Speaker 02

  Digger. See the trailer online. Only in theaters October 2nd. Rated R. Under 17. Not a minute without parent.

• 1:39:15Speaker 06

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• 1:39:26Speaker 02

  Espolone Tequila, 40% alcohol by volume, 80 proof. Copyright 2026, Campaña America, New York, New York. Drink responsibly.