5 Ways To Reduce Helplessness in Difficult Times & How To Improve Your Relationship With The News

Do you want to meditate daily with me? Go to go.calm.com/onpurpose to get 40% off a Calm Premium Membership. Experience the Daily Jay. Only on Calm How many times have you heard bad news first thing in the morning and then end up feeling bad for the rest of the day? Or how about reading a bad comment online and feeling restless about it? The news that we consume everyday can highly affect our mental health which can result in us feeling stressed and helpless. In this episode of On Purpose, Jay Shetty shares facts of how to reduce the feeling of helplessness and how we can improve our relationship with the news. Want to be a Jay Shetty Certified Life Coach? Get the Digital Guide and Workbook from Jay Shetty https://jayshettypurpose.com/fb-getting-started-as-a-life-coach-podcast/ Key Takeaways: 00:00 Intro 00:28 The feeling of helplessness 02:17 The Seligman Experiment 07:24 Step #1: Choose when & where you consume news 10:28 Step #2: Expose yourself to good news 12:24 Focus on the things you’re doing well 16:53 Step #3: Find your role in the community 18:52 Step #4: Practice self-care 21:58 Step #5: Pray for courage Like this show? Please leave us a review here - even one sentence helps! Post a screenshot of you listening on Instagram & tag us so we can thank you personally! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Jay Shetty?

  This episode is brought to you by AG1. Are you feeling September reset too? Shorter days, longer to-do lists, earlier alarms, all those routines you promised yourself you'd pick back up. It can feel like your whole life is recalibrating. And when everything around you is changing, it helps to have a few things you can rely on. AG1 Next Gen is one of those easy habits to keep. It's the clinically-backed, comprehensive daily health drink that supports your gut health, energy production, and foundational nutrition all in one scoop. AG1's ingredients are sourced from quality partners for absorption, potency, and nutrient density to deliver the foundational nutrition your body needs. And alongside a proper diet,

• 0:44Jay Shetty?

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• 1:09Speaker 01

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• 1:38Jay Shetty?

  This episode is brought to you by AG1. Are you feeling September reset too? Shorter days, longer to-do lists, earlier alarms, all those routines you promised yourself you'd pick back up. It can feel like your whole life is recalibrating. And when everything around you is changing, it helps to have a few things you can rely on. AG1 Next Gen is one of those easy habits to keep. It's the clinically backed, comprehensive daily health drink that supports your gut health, energy production, and foundational nutrition all in one scoop. AG1's ingredients are sourced from quality partners for absorption, potency, and nutrient density to deliver the foundational nutrition your body needs.

• 2:21Jay Shetty?

  And alongside a proper diet, AG1 Next Gen meets 94% of nutrient requirements and is clinically shown to enrich the gut microbiome. For a limited time, save 20% on your first subscription order of AG1 Next Gen or AG1 Pro at drinkag1.com/onpurpose. That's drinkag1.com/onpurpose. I read a study a few years ago that said we're exposed to more tragedy today in 24 hours than we were in our whole lifetime 25 years ago. Just think about that for a moment.

• 3:04Jay Shetty?

  Hey everyone, welcome back to On Purpose, the number one health podcast in the world. Thanks to each and every one of you that come back every week to listen, learn, and grow. Now, today I want to address a theme that I believe is on all our minds and all our hearts. When I've been speaking to people, whether it's on Zoom calls, meetings, bumping into you all on the streets, the word that I've heard repeatedly is helplessness. What I'm understanding from listening to you all on social media comments, in stories, is a feeling of a lack of control, a lack of influence, and feeling like a sense of the world

• 3:49Jay Shetty?

  Experiencing a downward spiral. Now, raise your hands if you're with me, if you've been feeling that way. Not alone if you feel that way. I know a lot of people right now will be saying, "Thank you so much for talking about this. Thank you for raising it." It could be what's happening in the political landscape. It could be what's happening in the economic landscape. It could be what's happening, you know, right around the corner from you potentially. And I wanted to address this theme of helplessness because I think often we understand, or hopefully we understand, that it's expected, that it's normal. But we don't understand it deeply enough and we don't know what to do with it.

• 4:32Jay Shetty?

  But the first thing I definitely want you to understand is that it is not surprising that we feel this way. When we see the events, the decisions that are being made, they can be highly discouraging. They can be highly disheartening. So if you're feeling this way, I want you to know you're not alone and there's nothing wrong with you. It's not like you're broken or you need to be fixed or some part of you needs to be mended or you're mad at yourself for feeling that way. A lot of people are feeling that way. So the idea of learned helplessness actually comes from tests on animals. But we find that human conditioning is similar.

• 5:15Jay Shetty?

  So in 1965, Martin Seligman and his colleagues were doing research on classical conditioning. And this is the process by which an animal or human associates one thing with another. So in Seligman's experiment, they would ring a bell and then give a shock to a dog sadly. Now, after a number of times, the dog reacted to the shock even before it happened when the bell rang. So it started to see that when the bell rang, it was going to get a shock and it felt the experience of a shock even when just the bell rang and they did not give it a shock. Then, something unexpected happened.

• 5:58Jay Shetty?

  Seligman put each dog into a large crate that was divided down the middle with a low fence. Now, the dog could see and jump over the fence. It was pretty simple. But the floor on one side of the fence was electrified, but not on the other side of the fence. Seligman put the dog on the side that was electrified. And when they gave that side a light shock, they expected the dog to jump to the non-shocking side of the fence. But instead, the dog just laid down. The dog had got so used to that feeling of helplessness and accepting what it was going through, that it just sat there. And Seligman explained this condition as learned helplessness,

• 6:44Jay Shetty?

  or not trying to get out of a negative situation because the past has taught you that you are helpless. Now, how many of you feel like that sounds like you? So today, learned helplessness is described by Medical News Today as a state that occurs after a person has experienced a stressful situation repeatedly. They come to believe that they are unable to control or change the situation, so they do not try, even when opportunities for change become available. According to the American Psychological Association, learned helplessness occurs when someone repeatedly faces uncontrollable, stressful situations,

• 7:27Jay Shetty?

  then does not exercise control when it becomes available. And Professor Martin Seligman, one of the psychologists who did that study, he says that it has three key features: becoming passive in the face of trauma, difficulty learning that responses can control trauma, and it can increase stress levels as well. I'm sure many of you listening to this can relate to a lot of it. Right? How many of you now look at what we're seeing in the news or what we're seeing around of us? And just go, "Well, I can't do anything about it. I feel super helpless. I'm completely out of control." And this is a repeated feeling every single year. I read a study a few years ago that said

• 8:12Jay Shetty?

  we're exposed to more tragedy today in 24 hours than we were in our whole lifetime 25 years ago.

• 8:23Jay Shetty?

  Just think about that for a moment. Twenty-five years ago, the amount of negative input you were exposed to, today we're now exposed to that in 24 hours. So what you'd be experienced in 70 years would be experienced in one day. That is scary. And that is why we're so overwhelmed, why we feel so helpless. Before, you might have heard about a challenge in your own family, of course, maybe in your friends' group, maybe about 25 people. And then maybe you started to hear about what was happening in your town,

• 9:06Jay Shetty?

  and maybe in your city, and then you started hearing about what was happening in your state, and then you started hearing about what was happening in your country. But now you know about pretty much everything happening in every city, every state, every country around the world. Now, I'm not saying that being informed is an issue, but being overwhelmed by that much information, our brains have not caught up to know how to process that. No one has taught us the skills in how to process this feeling. Right? No one has taught us how to process the feeling of learned helplessness and overwhelming information.

• 9:48Jay Shetty?

  So today, I want to share with you a few insights on how to do that. The first thing I want to talk to you about is reducing what is called doom scrolling, and reducing how much news you consume, the time of day you consume it, and where you consume it from. So let me speak to you a bit about that. The first is, let's talk about the time of day you consume it. You want to limit consuming news.

• 10:21Jay Shetty?

  First thing in the day or the last thing in the day? I'll tell you why. When you consume news, the last thing in the day, and it makes you feel nervous and anxious. Now, what happens? You sleep with that energy. You're now having nervous and anxious sleep, which means you don't get that deep sleep. And then, when you wake up, you're waking up with some of those negative thoughts. Now, if you look at news right in the morning, what it does is it takes energy away from you. If you want to start your morning in a boosted mood, with a good attitude, trying to take on the world positively, and you insert some bad news, you now feel setback. So that's the first thing. If you are going to consume the news,

• 11:05Jay Shetty?

  don't do it first thing in the morning or the last thing at night. Now, the second thing is, how do you consume your news? Are you consuming it with the TV on all the time? That's probably not healthy. Are you going to the right sources? And are you taking it in in a way you like to consume it? For example, if you're watching news, you're not getting to reflect or think because the news is designed in such a way to give you stat after fact, after headline, after the lower third with the latest news update. So you don't get a chance to reflect. Whereas when you read the news, you get gaps. You get to take pauses.

• 11:48Jay Shetty?

  You get to reflect. You get to think. Think about just how interesting that is, that you get so much more time when you read versus when you watch. Now, studies have linked poor mental health to news exposure during negative and traumatic events, such as terrorist attacks or natural disasters, says ABC News. And it said that the more news a person consumes during and after these events, the more likely they are to suffer from depression, stress, and anxiety. Now, this was a study that ABC talks about back in 2014. 4,675 Americans were surveyed

• 12:31Jay Shetty?

  in the weeks following the Boston Marathon bombings and collected data on how much media they consumed. Participants who engaged with more than six hours of media coverage per day were nine times more likely to also experience symptoms of high acute stress than those who only watched a minimal amount of news. I want you to take this news angle very, very seriously. You may think that being fully informed is helpful, but if it makes you helpless, then you can't come at it with a positive attitude. Now, again, I'm not telling you not be informed. I'm allowing you to get a mental break so that you can be informed effectively.

• 13:15Jay Shetty?

  The second thing that I want to encourage you to do is I want to encourage you to expose yourself to good news stories, to positive news stories. One of the reasons why on my Instagram feed I share so many of these joyful moments, whether it's a dog, whether it's someone in the military reconnecting with a loved one, whether it's a child doing something wonderful. It's because for us to see beauty in the world and because our minds are trained to amplify the negative, we have to overexpose ourself but consciously to positive notes. Now, notice how when you're scrolling through your comments,

• 13:58Jay Shetty?

  you will scroll past all the ones that say, "You look amazing. Oh, how beautiful. I love your dress." And then as soon as it gets to the one that says, "Oh, she's so pretentious. Oh, she is just trying to get likes." You obsess over it and now you repeat it to a friend. That's the comment you talk about to a friend. "Oh, could you believe it that people are just so mean?" Now, I'm not saying you shouldn't talk about that, but did you give the same level of presence to the positive comments? Did you give the same level of intention to the positive comments? Right? We focus so much, we fixate so much on the one person who says that we look tired today than the 99 people who say,

• 14:42Jay Shetty?

  "You look vibrant. You look energized. You look focused." I'm not saying only to listen to people who, you know, make us feel good or glorify us, but are we giving the positive, beautiful, joyful moments in our life and day the same level of presence and attention as the negative ones?

• 15:04Jay Shetty?

  What I'm asking you to do is increase your presence and attention for the positive feedback you receive. So what I want you to do is today, if you're going through your comments, or you're with your friends, and someone says something positive to you, I want you to take it in. I want you to even ask a question. If someone says to you, "I've been loving your energy recently," instead of saying, "Oh, no, no, no, no, you know, I'm just, I'm just doing whatever," we try and say something modest, ask why? Why is it? What have I done recently? And then that person will say something like, "Well, you know, I just feel like you've been just trying to boost everyone up and look for the positive," and you'll be like, "Oh, wait a minute, I am doing that, right? I am doing that." I think what's so fascinating about

• 15:45Jay Shetty?

  this is that we don't even recognize what we're doing well, because we don't take a moment to recognize what we're doing well. We'll spend ages focused on what we're not doing well, but we won't even spend a moment on what we are doing well. So I want you to take that moment to not only focus on more positives externally, but also focus on positives internally. So if something bad happens in the news, we'll all talk about it online. But if something good happens on the news, we rarely share it in our stories. We rarely talk about it. But I see you all sharing the joyful moments that I post on Instagram, because you believe it's there, but also amplify it within yourself. Talk about it within yourself.

• 16:29Jay Shetty?

  Have you ever had one bad moment spoil your entire day, or felt overwhelmed for no reason? What about stressed or anxious over that big moment or difficult conversation? You should try meditation, and I know what you're thinking. Jay, you used to be a monk. I don't have time to sit in the woods for hours doing nothing. But really, all the time you need to start your own mindfulness practice is seven minutes a day with the Daily Jay, my daily guided meditations on the car map. You don't need to close your eyes or find a special seat. You can try it while you brush your teeth, do the dishes, or walk your dog. My goal in seven minutes a day is to help you find calm and feel grounded in your busy world, plant beautiful intentions for

• 17:10Jay Shetty?

  an abundant life, and simple steps for positive actions to get you closer to the life of your dreams. Here's what one of the listeners of the Daily Jay had to say about their meditation. "Wow, I just had a super hard day at work and couldn't get my boss's comments out of my head." Then I did the daily J, which related to my work issues, opened my eyes at the end of the session and felt renewed again. Previously, today would have destroyed my whole weekend. Meditate with me by going to calm.com/j to get forty percent off a Calm Premium Membership. That's only forty-two dollars for the whole year for daily guided meditations. Experience the daily J only on Calm.

• 17:52Jay Shetty?

  This episode is brought to you by Indeed. I know how important every hire is for a business. If you need to make the right hire, this is a job for sponsored jobs. Indeed sponsored jobs helps find quality candidates when you need the most. You can reach who you need based on whatever criteria you're looking for, like skills, certifications, or location. In fact, people are finding quality hires on Indeed right now. In the minute I've been talking to you, companies like yours made twenty-seven hires on Indeed, according to Indeed data worldwide. Spend less time searching and more time actually interviewing candidates who check all your boxes. Listeners of this show will get a seventy-five-dollar sponsored job credit at indeed.com/podcast.

• 18:35Jay Shetty?

  That's indeed.com/podcast. Terms and conditions apply. Need to hire? This is a job for Indeed sponsored jobs. This episode is brought to you by Mazda. The best habits are the ones we hardly notice, the ones that quietly shape the way we move through life, giving us the confidence to focus on what really matters. That's Mazda's approach to safety. Every Mazda is designed with proactive safety features that help keep you more aware, more connected, and more engaged with your drive, so you can stay present behind the wheel. That commitment has earned Mazda recognition as Consumer Reports' safest new car brand. And as of July twenty twenty-six, Mazda has won more twenty twenty-six IIHS Top Safety Pick Plus awards than any other car brand.

• 19:19Jay Shetty?

  Visit www.iihs.org to learn more. A lot can happen when an accident doesn't. Mazda, more of what matters to you. Visit MazdaUSA.com to learn more. Consumer Reports does not endorse products or services. This episode is brought to you by Vinted. Value can be found anywhere, even in the clothes sitting untouched in our closets. That's where Vinted comes in. Vinted is a secondhand marketplace app where you can sell clothes you no longer want and get more value out of them. Whether you're running out of space, moving, or simply updating your wardrobe. Listing items is a quick and simple process and once something sells, Vinted creates a prepaid shipping label for you.

• 20:02Jay Shetty?

  And the best part, there are no seller fees, so you keep what you earn. It's a simple way to clear out your closet, be less wasteful, and maybe make some extra money along the way. Give your clothes a second life with Vinted. Download the Vinted app for free to start selling with no seller fees, so you keep every dollar you earn. Now, the third one I want to mention is the feeling of scale. Often, we feel helpless because of the scale of the issue. It's too big for us, right? We feel too small. And I remember when I lived as a monk, we would walk on this beach in South India with the senior monks.

• 20:45Jay Shetty?

  And South India is known to be a fishing space. There's a lot of fish nets, a lot of fishing boats. And so often what happens is that certain fishes escape the net, but then they end up on the shore and you see them struggling on the sand in the heat without the water and they're about to die. Now, as monks, obviously, we didn't eat fish and our monk teachers would encourage us to pick up the fish and put them back in the water. Now, as we did this, sometimes I would look at the amount of fish and think, well, we're gonna save like 10 fish today, maybe 20. Like, what's the point?

• 21:23Jay Shetty?

  And our monk teachers would remind us that to us, it's just one fish, but to that one fish, it's its entire life. You may think, I can only support or help 10 people. I can only comfort five people. What is the point of me even trying? That doesn't change the situation. And the really interesting thing about that is that if you've ever talked to someone that you've helped and they tell you, "You changed my life," and they tell you that you helped me during my toughest time... To that person, it's their entire being. So let's not get caught up in this game of scale and think, oh, if I can't save a million people, there's no point. If I can't support a hundred people, then I'm not significant.

• 22:08Jay Shetty?

  Because to that one person, it's their entire life experience. The next step is what Alex Banyan, in his book, he talks about this concept about three doors. And he talks about this in relation to trying to get inside a club. And what he says is that there's always three doors into a club. You have the main entrance where everyone's lining up. Then you have the VIP entrance where all the, you know, high net worth individuals, connected individuals, influencers, whatever you want to call them, line up. But then you have the third door. And the third door is the door on the side. It may have some security outside it.

• 22:53Jay Shetty?

  It's not the conventional door. It's probably not even an entrance. You might have to like get through somehow. But most of us never anticipate that that door even exists. Learned helplessness is where we go, well, I'm not a person who can make a big difference. I'm not someone who can make a small difference. There's no difference I can make. Now, he's talking about it in terms of success. I'm talking about it in terms of making a difference. Every single one of us can make a difference. And I think what's happened over time is that we've got less involved in our communities or less involved around projects that we believe in. So we have to start taking action. We have to start finding roles in our community where we feel purposeful,

• 23:38Jay Shetty?

  where we feel impactful, whether it's helping a local charity, whether it's getting involved in a local movement. That gives you the sense of community, belonging and impact that you're missing. You may not feel powerful alone, but I promise you, you will feel more power and influence and control in numbers. If you're part of a group that's trying to make a difference, you're going to feel more empowered. You can make a difference. If you think you're doing it all alone, you will always feel helpless. Loneliness can create a lot of helplessness. The next step, which I probably should have addressed earlier, is the idea of self-care. When you're overexposed to the news, when you're underwhelmingly taking care of yourself, chances are that things trigger you more.

• 24:23Jay Shetty?

  Give you an example. How many of you, when you get bad news, if you slept well, feel like you deal with it better? Say yes. How many of you feel like when you've eaten, you make quicker, faster decisions? Or if you get a difficult decision, you make a better one? Say yes. When you're taking care of yourself, you're able to respond to trauma and triggers far better than when you're not taking care of yourself. And I think a lot of us feel that we should be going out, that we should be making a difference, but then we wallow in that pain, rather than going, "Well, actually, if I'm strong and well-placed, I can make a difference. I can actually have an impact. I will be not held back as much as I think I will."

• 25:07Jay Shetty?

  What also happens when we align forces with the community is that we feel a sense of support and encouragement, which we need, and a sense of belonging. Most of us feel alone when we feel helpless. We feel, "Wow, I'm feeling terrible." And when you look online, you often see people who don't agree with you. So you think, "Oh, well, no one agrees with me as well." And that's why community gives you a sense of that comfort. Now, one of the rules of self-care is self-talk. And often, when we are seeing a challenge, we often think, "Well, things are only getting worse." When you say a statement like, "Things are only getting worse", that's not factual or accurate. And the emotionality of that statement makes it very hard to deal with.

• 25:52Jay Shetty?

  Or if you say things like, "It's all doomed. We're all doomed." When you have that mindset, it creates that environment. It makes you spot that more. Right? It makes you aware of that pattern more, and now that's all you see. Now, also, you don't want to do the opposite, which is toxic positivity, where you're like, "Everything's great. Everything's amazing." But notice, "Everything's wrong" or "Everything's amazing" are both not accurate statements. But when you understand, you think, "Oh, yeah, of course I was triggered. I didn't get enough sleep that night." Or, "I mean, everyone seems to be triggered by this, so I'm not alone." Which means, maybe there's some of us that can do something about it. "Okay, I'm really discouraged by this right now,

• 26:37Jay Shetty?

  but I'm going to find inspiration later to solve this. I'm struggling with this today." But I know that my meditation will help me. Right, so you're creating a real conversation with yourself. And the best way to think about this is, how do you talk to your friend when they're being helpless? You want to talk to your mind in the same way. We have to learn to talk to our mind as if it's another person, because it almost is. The mind is conditioned to have certain beliefs and certain patterns, and therefore needs to be coached and guided out of that setting. This is something we haven't talked a lot about on On Purpose, and I'd love to see your feedback on this.

• 27:21Jay Shetty?

  I really do believe meditation, or prayer, or conversations out loud can be really, really useful. A lot of people pray. And research has shown that prayer increases optimism and adaptability, and it also improves some of our health challenges as well. Now, how do you pray? Often, we pray for our situation to change, or our surroundings to change. But instead, praying for the strength, praying for the courage, praying for the skills, is a better long-term strategy.

• 28:02Jay Shetty?

  When we pray or meditate on hoping things will change, or hoping things will get better, we feel more out of control. When you feel your skills are improving, when you feel your talents are improving, when you feel your resilience, your adaptability is growing, when your grit is growing, you feel a sense of control and navigation. For example, let's say you're driving a car, and the weather gets really bad. You can either pray for it to stop raining, or you could have skilled up in driving in the rain. Which one makes you feel better? Knowing how to drive in the rain is far more giving you confidence than hoping it will stop raining.

• 28:45Jay Shetty?

  When you try and find confidence in things you can't control, you actually lose it. But when you find your confidence in things you can control, it's always with you. So we can pray for no difficult times, or we can pray for courage, for confidence, for skills. We can actually work on developing the skills. Often when I'm in a bookstore, what I do is I ask myself, what skill do I need right now that I don't have? Right? What skill do I need right now that I don't have? Maybe I've been struggling with stress. Maybe I've been struggling with leading my team. Maybe I've been struggling with emotions. Let me read about that. Let me listen to a podcast about that. Let me ask an expert about that.

• 29:30Jay Shetty?

  Right? Let me absorb myself in actually upskilling, so that now when I'm in that situation, which is not surprising, I will actually have the tools to overcome it. I really hope that this episode helps you today, because I want you to shift from a place of helplessness to a feeling of making a difference. I want you to shift from a place of helplessness to knowing you do matter, that you can make things better. And that you and me and all of us have lived through a lot of incredibly difficult situations. I'm with you, and I'm wishing you all the best. I'm so grateful that we're building a hopeful,

• 30:14Jay Shetty?

  courageous, powerful community here at On Purpose. Thank you for listening. I'll see you soon.

• 30:31Speaker 02

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