Best Friends Day with The Moth

This week on Office Ladies 6.0, Jenna and Angela celebrate Best Friends Day with a very special episode all about friendship. Inspired by a heartfelt listener letter, the ladies reflect on the highs and lows of making friends, share some of the best friendship advice they’ve ever received, and talk about the people who have shaped their lives along the way. Then, in collaboration with The Moth, they present three unforgettable true stories about the power of friendship, connection, and community. So call that friend you've been meaning to text, celebrate the people who show up for you, and enjoy! Find The Moth wherever you get your podcasts https://bit.ly/4mpOgUQ. Office Ladies Website - Submit a fan question for Around the Town, Chit Chat, and Second Drink favorite moment:https://officeladies.com/submitaquestion Follow Us on Instagram:OfficeLadiesPod https://www.instagram.com/officeladiespod/ Follow Us on YouTube https://youtube.com/@officeladiespod?si=D0oKJwFJuK9txzFM Follow Us on TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@officeladiespod?_t=ZT-8y1gqTrJyOs&_r=1

• 0:04Speaker 00

  I'm Jenna Fisher.

• 0:05Speaker 01

  And I'm Angela Kinsey.

• 0:06Speaker 00

  We were on The Office together.

• 0:08Speaker 01

  And we're best friends.

• 0:09Speaker 00

  And now we're doing the ultimate Office Lovers podcast just for you. Each week, we will dive deeper into the world of The Office with exclusive interviews, behind the scenes details, and lots of BFF stories. We're the Office Lady 6.0.

• 0:25Speaker 01

  Hi there, Angela.

• 0:26Speaker 00

  Hey, good morning.

• 0:27Speaker 01

  Good morning.

• 0:29Speaker 00

  We have a really fun friendship episode for you today. In honor of Best Friends Day coming up, we teamed up with the folks at the podcast, The Moth, to help us share some stories about the power of friendship.

• 0:40Speaker 01

  You know, last year, for Best Friends Day, we shared our own stories of friendship, as well as some of yours. It was such a lovely episode, so I'm excited to dive into the theme of friendship again this year. So, big thanks to The Moth.

• 0:53Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 0:54Speaker 01

  But first, let's start with our chit chat suggestion from Sienna in Australia. Sienna says, "Hi Angela and Jenna. My name is Sienna, and I'm an 18-year-old osteopathy student from Australia. I've had a rough couple of years, as I was severely bullied by my so-called friends. Found out my mother has a luckily benign vasovagal tumor, as well as being diagnosed with ADHD, all within my final year of schooling. I was aiming for a career in medicine and fell short, which was honestly devastating for me, as it felt like I had failed my one and only lifelong dream. However, then I found your podcast.

• 1:35Speaker 01

  And having struggled with friendships recently, and always being told I was born 40, it was so comforting to find my two new best friends that I could listen to anywhere. The show is honestly just so comforting to me, and has helped me to feel supported, less alone, and like I can continue to strive for dreams even after setbacks." Your friendship has helped me know what I would like in a friendship and has helped me to build the confidence to make lots of new friends at university with you behind me. So I just wanted to say thank you for the comfort that this podcast brings me. It always helps me to calm down and feels like I'm having a chat with old friends. Love you guys. P.S. I've also started a crochet business at @SiennaRoseCrochets and love

• 2:20Speaker 01

  to make wacky little decorations that are perfect for a podcasting closet, or that's what she said. Oh, Sienna, thank you for your really touching and vulnerable letter. And she included a photo of her with her friends. That is just amazing.

• 2:35Speaker 00

  Just such a lovely group. You know, Sienna, you are a bright spot in the world. I loved your letter. I also went and checked out your crochet business. You are so talented. And I just want to thank you for writing in. I want to thank you for sharing your journey with friendships. I'm just sending you a big hug.

• 2:55Speaker 01

  I also want to say to Sienna and anyone else out there that might be experiencing a rough patch in friendship, is that I've had ebbs and flows of friendship bonds in my life, too. I had a really tough middle school experience. It was that kind of subtle, mean-girl energy, but coming from people who were my friends. And it was just such a heavy load. And I actually ended up leaving that school. And I found a wonderful friend group at my new high school. But then in college, I had a hard time making really good friends again. Like, I had the theater folks, but I didn't have like that really great bond. So like, middle school was rough, high school was great, college was meh. And

• 3:40Speaker 01

  I know I've shared this before, but it really wasn't until Angela and I met in my 30s that I experienced that kind of best friendship bond that I had felt with my high school friends. So-

• 3:54Speaker 01

  I had droughts too. I related to that.

• 3:57Speaker 00

  There's definitely hills and valleys in the course of your life when it comes to friendships. You know, my mom gave me advice years ago. I was in my late twenties and struggling with some friendships. You know, it's hard when you move away or if your life takes you in new directions. I was feeling a little lost. And my mom said, Ange, you have so many amazing people in your life. I encourage you to invest in those that invest in you. That has stuck with me. I remember it like the day she said it and something just clicked for me. And I looked around at the people in my life, at my friends at that time. And there were always people that I was chasing after to be my friend.

• 4:39Speaker 00

  And then there were these core people who were there for me no matter what. And they offered me this unconditional love and friendship and support. And so I made the decision right then and there, I'm going to choose to invest in this group of people who builds me right back up. And that really was a turning point for me and how I look at friendships.

• 5:02Speaker 01

  That's great advice.

• 5:04Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 5:04Speaker 01

  Well, this is a little bit of a tangent, but I just read the book, The Correspondent.

• 5:09Speaker 00

  Oh, you said you loved it.

• 5:11Speaker 01

  I loved it. It lived up to all the hype. People have been talking about this book. This is like a late to the party moment. Like in the book world, everyone's like, yeah, we read The Correspondent already. But I just read it. It's great. It's told all through letters. So it's just a series of letters. And the main protagonist is this woman. She's in her seventies and you're seeing her write to all kinds of people. And then you see their responses. But I was particularly taken with the letters between her and her best friend. It was such a wonderful friendship. Angela, it reminded me of our friendship because there was just this unconditional love between these two women who had known each other for a very, very long time.

• 5:56Speaker 01

  And I just loved it. And I think if anyone out there is looking for like a really good example of a great female friendship, you can find it in this book.

• 6:07Speaker 00

  Well, I've got to read it.

• 6:08Speaker 01

  Oh, it's so good. So good.

• 6:10Speaker 00

  Well, listen, why don't we take a break? And when we come back, we will hear three wonderful stories from the folks at The Moth.

• 6:17Speaker 01

  Yeah, The Moth is hosted by Chloé Salmon, and it features true stories told live. It's real people, anyone from like an astronaut to an actor, a teacher, a truck driver, scientist, singers, people who are getting up on stage, and then they tell a story about their own lives in their own words.

• 6:36Speaker 00

  I love nights like this. I did some of this back in my theater improv days.

• 6:41Speaker 01

  I did it, too.

• 6:42Speaker 00

  Open mic nights where they'd have a monologist.

• 6:45Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 6:45Speaker 00

  They're so great.

• 6:46Speaker 01

  Well, the stories featured on The Moth are really funny, sometimes enlightening, heartbreaking, sometimes all three at the same time. And we think that if you like the sense of connection and fun that is Office Ladies, or that feeling where you're getting a new perspective on someone's life, that The Moth has a lot of those same vibes.

• 7:07Speaker 00

  Absolutely. And the episode we're sharing today, BFFs, is about something we explore quite a bit on Office Ladies, and that is friendship.

• 7:15Speaker 01

  And then later, we will be back with some final thoughts on friendship.

• 7:31Speaker 02

  Welcome to The Moth. I'm Chloé Salmon. There are so many stories about romantic love, which is fair, I guess. But I take your romantic love and raise you a different relationship, one that can be just as fulfilling and honestly, sometimes even more so, friendship. I'm grateful for my friends every day because each and every one of them is a perfect, beautiful angel who supports me fiercely, but is also willing to give me an honest opinion about the new haircut I want to try out. Without them, I would be a lonely girl with a bowl cut I thought would look French, probably. In this episode, three stories all about friendship. From how they can be there for you during challenging times, to a friend's unconditional love, to the gummy bears.

• 8:16Speaker 02

  Don't worry, we'll get there. First up is Lauren Karch, who told this story at a main stage in Dayton, Ohio, where the theme was "More Than Meets the Eye." Here's Lauren, light them off.

• 8:32Speaker 03

  So a couple of years ago, I started to notice that people were sounding quieter to me, which did not track with world events, but only when I was on the phone, and only when I had the phone to the right side of my head. And it wasn't like just that. I also noticed like I would get dizzy sometimes, and sometimes I kind of felt like my head was underwater. So I held off, but eventually I made an appointment with like an ear, nose, and throat specialist and got my hearing tested. And I found out exactly what I did not want to know, which was that at like 32, I was losing my hearing, but only on one side.

• 9:05Speaker 03

  And he's sort of, my doctor started going through a list of like other tests I could try and possible diagnoses, and I interrupted him and said, "Did I tell you my dad has Meniere's disease?" And he looked at me, you know, like how you do when you're looking at the answer to a trivia question? My dad lost his hearing completely within like 10 years of being diagnosed. So I knew that if I had the same deal, like the same thing could happen to me. You know, I'd probably lose the rest of my hearing on my right side and maybe both ears, like within a few years, or sooner, or later, or not at all. And usually, I'm not like the kind of person who's like, "Oh, I gotta know what's gonna happen," because I'm not picking the restaurant, okay? I'm not like a type A person.

• 9:48Speaker 03

  I do not have what the teens call "main character energy." But in this moment, like I wish that I did, because there's not really a treatment for Meniere's. So like you can take symptom stuff, so I could do like short-term steroids to ward off the vertigo. And my doctor told me to avoid caffeine and salt, which are like my two favorite food groups. So that weekend, I visited my parents. And it's never like nice to start a conversation with, "What if I end up like you?" But that's basically what I did to my dad. And he told me, you know, a few things. He was like, "There's all this assistive technology and like supportive community for people with hearing loss." And frankly, it's not a huge tragedy not hear everybody all the time in this economy.

• 10:34Speaker 03

  My dad's a very like zen, very like believes in a higher path kind of person. So that kind of brought me out of my like basement of depression. But a few months later, I was back at the same doctor's office because I kept getting these episodes of like room spinning vertigo and my hearing was worse. So they retested me and I was up to 80 decibels of loss in my right ear, which they have the little like dumb layman's term chart in the soundproof booth. So that means that on my right side, I can hear things that are louder than quote, "a lawnmower at close range," which is awesome. And so I went home and I got on Reddit like you do when you're looking up rare diseases. And I found this interview with an artist who also had Meniere's disease.

• 11:18Speaker 03

  And the interviewer had asked him, I thought it was such a good question, "What sound do you miss the most?" And he was like a poet or something. So he said, "I most miss the soft sound of a cat lapping water because it sounds so satisfying for the cat." So I found myself then sitting on my living room floor, sort of like sloshing a water bowl towards my increasingly disgruntled cat. And pterodactyl, that's my cat's name. She was, she was not satisfied. She just looked at me like, "I don't get paid enough for this." But, but the question had given me kind of an idea of something I could do to feel a little bit more in control. I thought, "I should make a list of everything I want to hear before I go deaf, in case

• 12:02Speaker 03

  I go deaf," like a playlist bucket list, right? Like, and yeah, I probably can't afford to go to the Amazon rainforest right now, but I could leave the window open when it rains. And like, I didn't want the last thing I heard to be like a spam call or like myself repeating gossip, you know? And so when I saw a few days later that my favorite band was going to be in Cincinnati, I bought tickets right away. I did not think about who I was going to take with me. But then I happened to go to Warehouse 4, my favorite coffee shop, later. And yeah. And my friend Stacy was working. And Stacy is like the kind of person who is up for anything. Plus, it was really swamped in there, so it was the perfect time to entrap her with an invitation. And she agreed to go.

• 12:46Speaker 03

  And like, yeah, were we a little old to be at Bogart's, under like the "No moshing" sign? Yeah! So are the Mountain Goats, my favorite band from 2005. Yeah! And Stacy used to be a youth choir director, so in exchange for me taking her to see a sad dad band, she went, she asked me if I would want to go with her to see a children's production of Cats. Which, yeah, like, I don't have time to wait for professionals to put on Cats for me. And I realized, like, I could, I could knock off a ton of kinds of music if I started going to like the free concerts put on by like the library and YSO.

• 13:29Speaker 03

  So, like, jazz in the park, jazz at the culture center, jazz at the library. There's a lot of jazz. I got really into it. I accompanied my boyfriend, who was on his own journey of trying to see every Boston sports team play in the Midwest. And I don't really like sports, but I did want to hear his accent being used for its intended purpose, which is cursing the Red Sox. And I started listening to my mom's favorite true crime podcast because I wanted to see if I, like her, could learn to discern who was guilty based on the guilt in the murderer's voice. And kind of, yeah. But the biggest victim in all this was my best friend Katie. I told her, like, about my hearing problems, but I didn't tell her about the playlist, because it's insane.

• 14:13Speaker 03

  And, but the problem is, she's like the perfect person, perfect man for the job. Because she is a theater person. We actually know each other from the theater because we came close, like, we became close in our rural high school's production of the Soul musical, The Wiz. And, which is, because it was, it was from the before times. And, um...

• 14:41Speaker 03

  And so, we'd always dreamed of aging into being those costume jewelry ladies, who have season tickets to the ballet. So I texted her, and I said, "Remember how we were gonna become theater ladies? What if we just do that now?" And she just said, "I thought you'd never ask." So we went to the opera, we went to all the Dayton Playhouse shows, and the Broadway series when it came to town, the poetry slam. We went and saw that band that dresses like vampires. You guys, they just got a hearse. And it was great. Her younger coworkers wanted to go see Post Malone, and I was so into it, that I not only got a ticket to Post Malone, I bought us wide leg jeans so we wouldn't stand out among the youths. And it was a great time. But I wanted to see this one really artsy play that was out of town.

• 15:26Speaker 03

  So we decided to go to that. And what I learned is there's a level of artsiness that I do not get. But that's okay. I still heard it. And we had a great hotel that I had booked for a great price, because I did not notice that it was a microtel with bunk beds. So I'm laying in the top bunk. And I've realized, I've brought Katie on so many goofy situations now, I have to tell her what I'm thinking. So I leaned over, like I'm at camp, and I said, "You're being a really good friend." And I spilled everything. I told her about how I was worried that I would go deaf, and maybe I wouldn't be able to communicate with people that I care about, and what about my job? And would I still be able to enjoy the things I enjoy now?

• 16:08Speaker 03

  And at that time, Taylor Swift had only put out the first Taylor's Version album. And do I look like I want to miss that? And she said, "Okay, okay. I think you're a lot more resilient than you're giving yourself credit for. Also, I'd like to see you try to get rid of me, or any of your friends." And then she got deadly serious and said, "Should we try to learn ASL? Because then we could talk about people in the same room." And I am trying to learn ASL. I have made it through soda pop, so. But a couple of weeks later, Katie texted me because her mom had tickets to the Dayton Philharmonic. And like, would I want to go with them? Of course, because the orchestra is classic theater, lady. Because it's fancy. So we got dressed up. You guys, we went to the spaghetti warehouse.

• 16:54Speaker 03

  And, yeah. And, uh, and we came down, and it was at the Schuster, so beautiful theater, like, the whole orchestra. It was so great. Um, but there was this one player in the orchestra, this cello player, that I noticed. Because, like, if I had to describe him, unfortunately, hunky. Like, just very tall, very good-looking, and he was, he had those protagonist vibes that I've always wanted. Like, he wasn't just playing, he was performing. And I pointed him out to Katie, and she said, "Oh, he's on the cover of the program." And he was. It wasn't the whole orchestra, it was just like him and his cello and a fog machine. Like, he's the, he's the front man for the Dayton Philharmonic. So we're like, kind of laughing about this. And, um, you know, but the music's like, really enthralling.

• 17:39Speaker 03

  It's really cool. It's a nice experience, and I'm having fun with my two friends. And then, it's over. We, we walk back to the, to the arts garage where we all parked. And, uh, get in our car. Katie's driving. We like, get to the garage exit, and we're just hooting and hollering about how funny we are, and should we wait by the stage door and all this? And, um, like, the garage, like, the arm thing lifts, and she kind of guns it to pull out of the parking garage, and then slams on her brakes. Because there, in the middle of North Ludlow, and we're barreling right at him. It's the hot cellist. And he's got his cello on his back, he's got his headphones in his ears. He's on his own audio journey, clearly. And Katie's mom points straight through the windshield and screams, "Don't hit him."

• 18:22Speaker 03

  And at that moment, I realized, like, this is something of a universal experience, really. Uh, whether I go deaf or not, everyone's gonna hear their last thing. And so, so now I get my hearing tested annually. And the last few times, um, like, yeah, I am pretty deaf in my right ear.

• 18:42Speaker 03

  But I always ask the tech, like, "Ooh, is there any change?" And she usually tells me no before the doctor, like, even comes in, at least the last two times, which is such a relief. So I might still get to hear "Refutation" Taylor's version with my own natural ears. But I learned about, like, a new way to connect with people, and I supported the shit out of the arts. And I learned that Dayton is, like, full of these big, bold, main characters, and there's still time to be one. So, thank you, guys.

• 19:18Speaker 02

  That was Lauren Karch. Lauren is a writer and local government employee, and she says, yes, it is just like Parkstead, Rock, in the happiest place on earth, the greater Dayton area. She tells stories in Dayton and encourages you to check out your local art scene. Also, if you were wondering, the hot cello player who Lauren talked about in her story heard through the grapevine that he was mentioned onstage. We hope you're listening, hot cello player. The summer before my last semester of college, I had an internship in New York City. I knew it was going to feel very different from my Kansas college town, and I was scared. Enter Sean, a friend of a friend who had just graduated and was moving to NYC to start

• 20:00Speaker 02

  a new job. We made plans for a polite, lonely desperation meetup, which turned into us hitting it off in a real way and spending almost every free minute together that summer. We got our bearings, stayed out late bar hopping and eating cheap food, and screeched in panic as his toilet overflowed and flooded his tiny studio while I shouted, "How do you turn off water?" at my dad over the phone. A real bonding kind of summer. Almost 15 years later, I am no better at troubleshooting plumbing issues, and he is still one of my closest friends. Our next story is from Valerie Walker, who told it at a Story Slam where the theme was chemistry. Here's Valerie, live at the Moth.

• 20:47Speaker 04

  So, on Sunday, I had a reunion with a woman that I went to college with. I hadn't seen her for 34 years. I know, I look good. And, um, the thing, you're probably wondering, after 34 years, like, what do you care? I had actually been carrying her in my heart for the intervening time. And, we were an odd pair, for sure. We met in college, a very impressionable time. She was from a small town in Arkansas. I still had the grit from New York City in my pockets.

• 21:26Speaker 04

  She was artful with her makeup and painted on a natural-looking face. And smelled like beautiful perfume. And I smelled like a mix of soap and whatever moisturizer I was using. And so, looking at us, you would think, like, what do they have in common? And I wondered that myself, but there was such, she was so kind. There was such a space that we created that was just joyful and very, very loving and super-duper fun. And then, I came out as a lesbian.

• 22:06Speaker 04

  And one of the ways that I processed my internalized homophobia was I was suddenly scared that my really rich friendships with women were gonna be called into question. That she would no longer be as affectionate, or wonder what was my motive for being affectionate back. And we had such a great relationship, like, I don't know that song, "I Love You," a bushel and a peck, a bushel and a peck, I don't know all the words. But one day, she wrote that entire lyric on my door, like, as a note. Yeah, it was just adorable and very, very dope. And we had this, we had this ritual where like when we would go to dinner,

• 22:48Speaker 04

  I would go to her room, she would change out of her fabulously stylish outfit. But she was shy, so she would go into her walk-in closet. And then we would continue to talk while she changed. And when she was in the closet, her voice would be muffled like this. And then when she came out, it would be really clear. And so one day I'm in her room and waiting for her to change. And I am playing with the stuff on her dresser. So I'm not really paying attention. Her voice went from muffle, muffle, muffle back to clear. And so I look up. Except she had changed the routine and had come out of the closet not completely dressed.

• 23:24Speaker 04

  In her sweatpants and bra and she was very easy on the eyes. Okay, so now in that moment, I'm saying to myself, don't stare. You're staring. Oh my God, look at her eyes, they're higher. And so I'm, you know, having a little bit of gay freak out. And so, but we regulated, went to dinner and everything got normal once everybody had their clothes back on. So, you know, super cool. And I, she was just really, just a great person. Our friendship was so enjoyable.

• 24:09Speaker 04

  And yet, that's the casualty of being a lesbian, right? Is the chemistry. Women are so cool and dope. It's really, it's really easy to fall for you guys. It's just, the hard part is finding out the appropriate person to fall in love with. And I'm not gonna lie, I slept with a few varying genders in college, meaning straight women, but she was not one of them. And then after college, we lost touch. And recently, she started following me on Instagram. And then more recently, DM'd me that she was coming into New York and wanted to meet up. And I went to the place at the appointed time.

• 24:54Speaker 04

  And I was super curious about how it would feel to see her again. I knew that she meant so much to me. But I also understand that what means something to you doesn't mean the same to somebody else. And then suddenly she was in front of me. And then she was in my arms and I was in hers. And it was a great hug, a long hug, a strong hug. One of those hugs where you just rock side to side. And then we stopped and we sat down and we caught up. We cried and we laughed and we held hands when [BLEEP] was super hard to say. And it was really beautiful. I could recognize it for what it was.

• 25:39Speaker 04

  A blinding furious and beautiful love that it was absolutely okay to have. And that was not in any way base. And we were sitting there and I'm telling her that how much her friendship has meant to me. And then she flipped it and told me how much my friendship had meant to her. And that she's not nostalgic and she doesn't even have any pictures from college. But she has two that she's printed out and one of them is of me. Yeah, I know, right? And so it was just so affirming in that moment to know that she was mine and I was hers. And if anyone ever asks me about the great loves of my life, she will be one that I talk about. Thank you.

• 26:32Speaker 02

  That was Valerie Walker. She is an activist, artist and storyteller whose stories challenge perceptions and build community through shared feelings. Survival as triumph and vulnerability as strength are key themes in her work. Our final story is from Matthew Dix, who told this at one of our open mic story slams in Boston. Here's Matthew, live at The Moth.

• 27:00Speaker 05

  I'm sitting in the break room of a McDonald's restaurant in Milford, Massachusetts. I'm eating an Egg McMuffin and I am not happy. It is the spring of 1987, I'm 16 years old and it's not the Egg McMuffin that's causing me to be unhappy because an Egg McMuffin is the most guaranteed source of joy in my entire day. But not on this day. I'm upset because I'm about to meet my mortal enemy for the first time and I know it's not gonna go well. I've been working at this restaurant for two months now. I actually live three towns away in Blackstone, Massachusetts. But I found out that this place pays $4.65 an hour and that's 20 cents more than the White Hen Pantry, five minutes from my house. And I figured, even though it's a 30-minute drive, the 20 cents will absolutely make

• 27:45Speaker 05

  up for the time and the gas, which it does not. But it changes my life in a really significant way because when I arrive here, I discover the joy of a clean slate. I'm growing up in a tiny town, 82 kids are in my class, they're the same 82 kids I knew in kindergarten, and they remember everything. And so when you wanna be something different, or you decide you could be something better, no one lets you because they remember everything. They still talk about the time in 6th grade when I exposed myself to class because my gym shorts were a little too short and my underwear was a little too big and it was a little too much man-spreading. They talk about it to this day.

• 28:27Speaker 05

  And they remember the braces and the buck teeth and the bad haircuts and the free and reduced lunches and all of that has prevented me from becoming something that I think I could be and being trapped in what they think I should be. But I've arrived in this new town, nobody knows me, and on the first day of work Erin Duran comes and asks me if I have a girlfriend in the way she's hoping I say no. And that's never happened to me before, so this is something. And it turns out that because they don't know me, I can be the thing I think I can be and suddenly I have more friends than I've ever had in my life. And I'm good at my job, shockingly good. In 1980s, the job at the McDonald's that is the hardest is running the bin. I have been a public school teacher for 24 years. Four years and I can tell you that I have not had a day in my classroom as taxing

• 29:12Speaker 05

  as a day running the bin at McDonald's during rush hour in 1987. It is, it is coordinating a kitchen full of 16 year olds and 60 year olds and convincing them all to do work for you at the same time. And watching a drive through screen and listening to cash registers and figuring out how much food needs to be here at any moment without causing waste and making sure profit. It's really hard and for some reason I can hold all this information right here and I'm good at it and people respect me for it. But as soon as I got good at it, all I heard was one word, Benji. You're great, but Benji's better. Benji's the best bin person in this restaurant. Actually, he's the best person in this restaurant.

• 29:52Speaker 05

  He is fantastic and everyone loves him and everyone respects him and I hate Benji. All they do is tell me how great he is and with every single word they say, I hate him more. And then I discover they're telling him about me. And they're saying how this, this guy came in and he might be better than you. They're spreading gossip about me to him and so we have never met each other, but we hate each other. And so this day, we're coming together for the first time, our shifts are crossing and I'm gonna meet him. And so I go out into the dining room at the end of my break just to see him, cause he's already working and I see him, there's nothing to this guy. Like, he's not that good looking, he's not an athlete, he's got the body of a bass player in a failing high school rock band. He is nothing.

• 30:36Speaker 05

  But I watch and a couple minutes later, I realize I'm wrong, cause he's funny, effortlessly funny. And he's endearing to everyone. He makes the older customers who are waiting for Big Macs actually happy to be waiting for their Big Mac and, and the managers love him. And he's good at the bin. Like, he is really good at calling bin. I hate him so much. And because he's doing my job, I have to run for drive-thru today, which is the second hardest job in the restaurant. Eighty percent of the orders go through the window, so eighty percent of the food will pass through my hands. But that means I need to work with the bin guy the whole time, to coordinate and negotiate and make sure everything runs, which means I have to work with Benji. And so for the first hour, we don't talk to each other unless it's about work.

• 31:21Speaker 05

  And we clearly hate each other. We're not hiding it in any way whatsoever. But unless it has to do with work, we don't say a word. And then after an hour, it gets awkward, and I start to think, maybe he thinks I'm afraid to say something to him. So I'm like, no, I'm gonna do something here. And so I go up to him and I say, "Why are you coming in at 10:30 on a Saturday? What's 10:30?" And he says, "I watch Saturday morning cartoons." Which in 1986 is a thing. All the new cartoons, the Smurfs and the Snorks and Super Friends, are all out in the morning. And we eat sugar-disguised cereal and we watch these things. And he says, "The Gummy Bears start at 9:30 and they end at 10, and then I come to work." And he says it without irony or embarrassment. I can't believe it.

• 32:05Speaker 05

  And so I walk over to the drive-thru. I drop a bag off. And when I come back to the bin, I say, "Listen to me." "Dashing and daring, courageous and caring, faithful and friendly, with stories to share." And I take some food and I walk back to the drive-thru. And as I come back over, he is singing before I get to the bin. He says, "All through the forest, they sing out in chorus, marching along as their songs fill the air. And standing next to the bin with Benji, we sing together. Gummy bears, bouncing here and there and everywhere. High adventure that's beyond compare, they are the Gummy Bears." There's a second verse, a bridge, and another chorus.

• 32:50Speaker 05

  "I will not share them with you, but we sing them that day." Because I watch the Gummy Bears too. And to this day, I can sing that song. And that's it. A single theme song to a cartoon melts all the ice between us. And 37 years later, he is still my best friend.

• 33:13Speaker 05

  It is the most significant relationship in my life, with the exception of my marriage. When I get thrown out of my house when I'm 17, Benji takes me in and lets me live in his college apartment. And when I'm 21 and I need a credit card and can't get one, he gives me his extra card and says, "Just use it and pay me when you can." He saves my life again and again and again. And this day, we live in Connecticut, two miles from each other. And when I think back on that day that I stood at that bin and sang a cartoon song to him, I'm reminded how little it takes to sort of reach out to someone

• 33:56Speaker 05

  and like just open the crack of a window. And you just get the window open and then it becomes a door and it becomes a lifetime. Thank you.

• 34:16Speaker 02

  That was Matthew Dix. He's an elementary school teacher and novelist whose books include Memoirs of an Imaginary Friend, Something Missing, and Unexpectedly Milo. He's the founder and creative director of Speak Up, a Hartford-based storytelling organization. Matt loves ice cream cake, tickling his children, staring at his wife, and not sleeping. That brings us to the end of our episode. Thank you to our storytellers for sharing with us and to you for listening. We hope that this week and every week, your friends are there for you.

• 34:50Speaker 06

  Chloe Salmon is a director at The Moth. Her favorite Moth moments come on show days when the cardio is done, the house lights go down, and the magic settles in. Lauren Karch's story was directed by Sarah Austin Janess. This episode of The Moth Podcast was produced by Sarah Austin Janess, Sarah Jane Johnson, and me, Mark Solinger. The rest of The Moth's leadership team includes Gina Duncan, Christina Norman, Marina Kluchay, Jennifer Hickson, Jordan Cardinalle, Caledonia Cairns, Kate Tellers, Suzanne Rust.

• 35:22Speaker 06

  And Patricia Uranya. The Moth Podcast is presented by Odyssey. Special thanks to their executive producer, Leah Reese Dennis. All Moth stories are true, as remembered by their storytellers. For more about our podcast, information on pitching your own story, and everything else, go to our website, themoth.org.

• 35:50Speaker 01

  We are back. I loved all the stories.

• 35:53Speaker 00

  I know.

• 35:54Speaker 01

  I thought they were all so thought provoking. I mean, they're really great storytellers.

• 35:58Speaker 00

  Yeah, I love, as you know, getting to know people. And I felt like this podcast was just like a window into people's lives. I absolutely love it.

• 36:09Speaker 01

  Well, when I was listening to that first story about the young woman who's losing her hearing, remember when I was talking about that book, The Correspondent?

• 36:16Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 36:16Speaker 01

  In that book, the main woman is slowly going blind.

• 36:21Speaker 00

  Oh.

• 36:21Speaker 01

  And she talks all about the things that she wants to see before she can't see anymore. So it was really interesting to me to then hear this story about someone who wants to hear all the things that you want to hear before you lose your hearing. Anyway, it resonated with me because I think, and you know, as we're getting older and after all my health stuff in recent years, I'm very aware of the things that I want to do in my life. And like that gal in the story, I know, lady, you will be right by my side, making sure I check everything off my list.

• 36:54Speaker 00

  I absolutely will.

• 36:56Speaker 01

  I know it.

• 36:56Speaker 00

  And I know there's going to be times where there are things that you're going to want to do that aren't with me, because that's the nature of life. There's going to be some things on your list that are with Lee, or with your kids, or with your mom, your sister, your friends from home, or just a solo adventure, right?

• 37:14Speaker 01

  But you will make sure I get all those things done.

• 37:16Speaker 00

  I will make sure, and then I want to hear all about it.

• 37:19Speaker 01

  I know.

• 37:19Speaker 00

  I want every detail. Well, I loved this episode of The Moth. I loved the stories as well. But wow, Matthew and Benji really got me bonding over that gummy bear theme song. Come on. And then there was something Matthew said that I just thought was beautiful. When he said he was reminded of how little it takes to reach out to someone. That just really hit me because you never know where people are at in life. And those small moments of kindness have a huge impact. And look, now Matthew and Benji have been friends for 37 years.

• 37:53Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 37:54Speaker 00

  Lady, it made me think of that day you sneezed and I reached over with a box of tissues at the set of the office.

• 38:00Speaker 01

  I know. It's true.

• 38:02Speaker 00

  Your allergies plus my proximity to you and to Kleenex.

• 38:07Speaker 01

  Here we are.

• 38:08Speaker 00

  Best friendship.

• 38:10Speaker 01

  Well, we hope that you enjoyed this episode contribution from The Moth. To access a whole bunch of episodes just like it, along with two new episodes a week, subscribe to The Moth wherever you get your podcasts.

• 38:22Speaker 00

  We hope you have a great week.

• 38:23Speaker 01

  And happy best friends day.

• 38:25Speaker 00

  That's right.

• 38:28Speaker 01

  Thank you for listening to Office Ladies.

• 38:30Speaker 00

  Office Ladies is a presentation of Odyssey and is produced by Jenna Fisher and Angela Kinsey.

• 38:36Speaker 01

  Our senior producer is Matt Beagle and our audio engineer is Sam Kiefer.

• 38:40Speaker 00

  Odyssey's executive producer is Leah Reese Dennis.

• 38:43Speaker 01

  Office Ladies was mixed and mastered by Bill Schultz.

• 38:46Speaker 00

  Our theme song is Rubber Tree by Creed Bratton.