Marian Keyes

Internationally bestselling Irish author Marian Keyes – co-host of Radio 4’s ‘Now You’re Asking’ – is this week’s dream diner. And she’s got some supportive words for Ed and James. Trigger warning: this episode contains talk about alcohol addiction, and mentions of grooming. Marian Keyes’s latest novel ‘My Favourite Mistake’ is out now, published by Penguin. Buy it here https://www.waterstones.com/book/my-favourite-mistake/marian-keyes/9781405945424. Marina co-hosts ‘Now You’re Asking’ on BBC Radio 4. Listen to it on BBC Sounds https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p09zgv36. And look out for the BBC adaptation of Marian’s ‘The Walsh Sisters’ which is in the works. Follow Marian on Instagram @marian_keyes https://www.instagram.com/marian_keyes/ Watch the video version of this episode on the Off Menu YouTube https://www.youtube.com/@offmenupodcast on Fri 29 Aug. Off Menu is now on YouTube: @offmenupodcast https://www.youtube.com/@offmenupodcast Follow Off Menu on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/offmenuofficial and TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@offmenuofficial: @offmenuofficial. And go to our website www.offmenupodcast.co.uk https://www.offmenupodcast.co.uk/ for a list of restaurants recommended on the show. Off Menu is a comedy podcast hosted by Ed Gamble and James Acaster. Produced, recorded and edited by Ben Williams for Plosive https://www.plosive.co.uk/. Video production by Megan McCarthy for Plosive https://www.plosive.co.uk/. Artwork by Paul Gilbey https://www.instagram.com/pushgilbey/ (photography and design). Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy https://acast.com/privacy for more information.

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• 3:11Speaker 05

  Welcome to the Off Menu Podcast, opening the food delivery app of conversation and ordering a Chinese takeaway of friendship.

• 3:20Speaker 06

  It's come to this.

• 3:20Speaker 05

  It's a lazy night. It's a lazy night. Sometimes you don't want to cook. Order a Chinese takeaway.

• 3:26Speaker 06

  That is lazy, lazy Ed Gamble. I'm lazy James Acaster. And together we own a lazy dream restaurant.

• 3:31Speaker 05

  In lazy town.

• 3:32Speaker 06

  In lazy town, where that guy does keep fit stuff.

• 3:35Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, Sporticus.

• 3:37Speaker 06

  Sporticus! Shout out! Together, we own a dream restaurant. Every single week, we invite in a guest. We invite him in and we ask for the favorite ever star. Sporticus has thrown me off. We invite him in. We ask for the favorite ever star, make us a side dish and drink night in that order. And today, I think, oh, it's not a secret ingredient? Fuck me.

• 3:56Speaker 05

  It's a Sporticus is really throwing you off.

• 3:58Speaker 06

  Sporticus, man!

• 3:59Speaker 05

  What was the name of the bad guy, Benito?

• 4:01Speaker 06

  I wasn't Sporticus.

• 4:02Speaker 05

  No, he wasn't the bad guy, Sporticus. But the guy with the like, quite, he's quite an imposing face. Robbie Rotten.

• 4:08Speaker 06

  And this week, our secret, oh, fuck me, I've done it again. This week, our guest, our special guest is Marian Keyes.

• 4:16Speaker 05

  Marian Keyes.

• 4:18Speaker 06

  Sorry, Marion, if you're listening, that was, that is the worst we've ever done an intro and we should re-record it. But it was a laugh how bad it was.

• 4:26Speaker 05

  Yes, I don't think she's listening to this. She's, she's gonna be here in a bit.

• 4:29Speaker 06

  Do you think our guests listen back to it?

• 4:31Speaker 05

  Uh, not many of them, I'm sure. Cause it's an awful, awful experience.

• 4:35Speaker 06

  Yeah, they don't like it.

• 4:36Speaker 05

  De Niro, yes.

• 4:37Speaker 06

  De Niro definitely listened back.

• 4:38Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah, De Niro definitely did.

• 4:40Speaker 06

  A wonderful writer.

• 4:42Speaker 05

  Yes, a smash hit author, James.

• 4:45Speaker 06

  Yeah, so good. Very excited to have Marion on the podcast. We don't have enough, like, authors on the podcast.

• 4:52Speaker 05

  That's because they're not normally a laugh.

• 4:54Speaker 06

  Yeah, sure. And Marion is.

• 4:55Speaker 05

  And I've seen Marion on a lot of stuff and she's definitely

• 4:58Speaker 06

  Yes.

• 4:58Speaker 05

  fun and she knows how to do a good interview.

• 5:01Speaker 06

  Yeah, she's fantastic. So like, we know we're in good hands.

• 5:04Speaker 05

  Just sit in a little room and they're up their own arse.

• 5:07Speaker 06

  They are, a lot of authors, if you're listening, which they won't be. So I bet they don't listen to anyone else but themselves waffling on.

• 5:13Speaker 05

  Oh, I don't need to listen to anyone else. I've got all the characters in my head. Give over.

• 5:17Speaker 06

  Yeah, yeah. Give over.

• 5:19Speaker 05

  Britta whispered, give over.

• 5:20Speaker 06

  Yeah, yeah.

• 5:21Speaker 05

  Marion's new book, My Favorite Mistake, is out now. It's, it's already a multimillion copy bestseller.

• 5:28Speaker 06

  That's, it's mind blowing, right?

• 5:30Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 5:30Speaker 06

  Like, especially like this day and age, it's got to be even harder, like to sell a physical book.

• 5:36Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 5:37Speaker 06

  Millions of times.

• 5:38Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 5:38Speaker 06

  That's gotta be good. That's gotta be a good book.

• 5:41Speaker 05

  And what, it's her sixteenth or seventeenth book? She knows her way around a novel, man.

• 5:45Speaker 06

  Yeah, big time.

• 5:46Speaker 05

  And I'm happy to say that to her when she's in. And of course, Marion has a podcast with Tara Flynn called Now You're Asking, which is available on BBC Sounds.

• 5:55Speaker 06

  And The Walsh Sisters is currently being filmed for BBC. Um, at the minute, we don't know when it's coming out, but it's been filmed in Dublin right now, based on one of Marion's novels. Very excited to see it.

• 6:04Speaker 05

  Yes, she's got a lot going on. She's incredibly talented. She's incredibly busy. So we are very grateful that she's given us some of her time to talk about her dream menu.

• 6:13Speaker 06

  Yum, yum, yum. But before we bring her in, there is a special guest. If she says it, then she gets kicked out. Oh, no, sorry. There is a secret ingredient. And if she says it, she'll be kicked out of the dream restaurant.

• 6:25Speaker 05

  Yes.

• 6:25Speaker 06

  And this week, the secret ingredient is taimentoo.

• 6:29Speaker 05

  Taimentoo. Yes, to Minto from Robert Popper's episode.

• 6:33Speaker 06

  Robert Popper invented this.

• 6:34Speaker 05

  Yes.

• 6:34Speaker 06

  So the likelihood of it actually being chosen is, uh, no, none really.

• 6:40Speaker 05

  What was it again?

• 6:42Speaker 06

  Huh? To Minto. It was like tomato juice with creme de menthe or something, wasn't it?

• 6:46Speaker 05

  It was tomato juice with creme de menthe. He invented it.

• 6:49Speaker 06

  Yeah, yeah. Revolting, fictional, doesn't exist.

• 6:52Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah.

• 6:52Speaker 06

  But then, this is where Marion lives, is the world of fiction.

• 6:56Speaker 05

  Yes.

• 6:57Speaker 06

  So maybe she will pick a fictitious drink. Maybe. Maybe her author's brain will conjure it up out of the ether.

• 7:05Speaker 05

  So if it's not conjuring it up, if it, if someone else has already conjured it up, right?

• 7:09Speaker 06

  Yeah, but like, it's not in the zeitgeist. She doesn't know that.

• 7:12Speaker 05

  It is in the zeitgeist.

• 7:13Speaker 06

  To Minto.

• 7:14Speaker 05

  It's on the Off Menu podcast. We are the zeitgeist, James.

• 7:17Speaker 06

  Oh yeah, I forgot that. We dictate the zeitgeist.

• 7:19Speaker 05

  Yes, yeah, yeah.

• 7:20Speaker 06

  Yeah, fair enough.

• 7:21Speaker 05

  We're really excited to speak to Marion. I think we should just get on with it, James.

• 7:24Speaker 06

  Let's just get on with it, Ed.

• 7:25Speaker 05

  This is the Off Menu menu of Marion Keys.

• 7:36Speaker 05

  Welcome, Marion, to the Dream Restaurant.

• 7:38Speaker 07

  Thank you for having me.

• 7:40Speaker 06

  Welcome, Marion Keys, to the Dream Restaurant. We've spent even some time.

• 7:44Speaker 05

  Did you enjoy the genie, the genie welcome then?

• 7:46Speaker 07

  I did. I loved it. It was, um, yeah, multisensory experience.

• 7:51Speaker 06

  Thank you. Do you want to list the senses that you experienced on?

• 7:55Speaker 07

  Touch.

• 7:56Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 7:57Speaker 07

  Psychic vision.

• 7:59Speaker 06

  Yeah, yeah.

• 8:00Speaker 07

  Astral travelling. Um, yeah, a lot. It was a lot. It was beautiful. Yeah, it was intense and fabulous. Yeah.

• 8:06Speaker 05

  Didn't even, no sound though.

• 8:08Speaker 07

  No sound, no. And, and couldn't see anything with my actual eyes, but in my head I saw a lot.

• 8:14Speaker 06

  Yeah, mainly emotional and, yeah.

• 8:16Speaker 07

  Yes, yes. Yeah, psychic, spiritual, all of them things.

• 8:19Speaker 05

  Yeah, that's a big experience for the beginning of a podcast, isn't it? Yeah.

• 8:22Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 8:23Speaker 06

  Think you'd ever write a story about a genie? Write a book about a genie?

• 8:26Speaker 07

  I haven't yet, but, um, after today, there's every chance.

• 8:29Speaker 06

  Yeah, I could inspire.

• 8:30Speaker 07

  Oh yeah, or we could collaborate.

• 8:32Speaker 06

  Well, I think half of that book would be unreadable.

• 8:35Speaker 07

  Yeah, my half, yeah. Yeah, we'd bring you in to polish it and tidy it and.

• 8:40Speaker 06

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 8:42Speaker 05

  I know what I'm doing. You just turned down a collaboration with Marian Keyes, man.

• 8:45Speaker 06

  I don't want to ruin it.

• 8:46Speaker 05

  Yeah, fair enough.

• 8:47Speaker 06

  You kidding me?

• 8:47Speaker 07

  Okay, we'll park it, but it was a lovely idea.

• 8:50Speaker 06

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, we could, that's bad, that's bad on my part. I should, I should just accept it.

• 8:56Speaker 07

  To be honest, no, I'm an awful collaborator as well.

• 8:59Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 8:59Speaker 07

  I'm, I'm too much of a people pleaser, also a secret control freak. So I would say yes to everything you suggested, but then I would go away and I would stew with fury. And, you know, let's not.

• 9:11Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 9:12Speaker 07

  Let's, we won't.

• 9:13Speaker 06

  Would you make the changes I'd suggest, or would I get it back and it would be the same as when it was before? You would just hope that I wouldn't notice?

• 9:20Speaker 07

  Yeah, and, and I would, yeah, I would send it back to you and I would say, thank you, I have inputted all your changes, all your suggestions. You have made this a million times better than it originally was. And you'd feel great.

• 9:31Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 9:31Speaker 07

  Hopefully.

• 9:32Speaker 06

  And I probably wouldn't know.

• 9:33Speaker 07

  You probably wouldn't know. People do that to me a lot.

• 9:36Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 9:36Speaker 07

  You know, they, they say, you know, thank you for that suggestion. I'm, I'm, how do you call it? I'm an executive producer on a TV thing at the moment that's been made of my books, which means that I can make suggestions.

• 9:48Speaker 06

  The Walsh sisters.

• 9:49Speaker 07

  Yeah, but they don't do anything. You know, they go, thank you, Marion, that's great, that's really, really good. We're going to incorporate that, we'll bring that up at our next meeting. And then nothing changes. But I feel kind of, I get the warm glow of, yeah, the TV people value me. You know, so I still feel good.

• 10:06Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 10:07Speaker 05

  Even though you know that they've done nothing based on your suggestions.

• 10:10Speaker 07

  Exactly. I know that I am being humoured.

• 10:11Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 10:12Speaker 06

  Yes.

• 10:12Speaker 07

  But they're being kind about it, which means a lot, really.

• 10:16Speaker 05

  Is, is that how you work with your editors as well, when you're, when you're writing a book? Do they even, do they meddle at all now?

• 10:22Speaker 07

  Oh, they do. Oh, no, they do, they do. I have a lovely editor and she's been my publisher for like, I don't know, 27 years or something like that. But I, I do as much as I can. I don't kind of give them. Bits and pieces as I go, I, you know, give them the final book and then she will come back with, I mean, but she does that snow thing of kind of like, oh my God, you have surpassed yourself with this one. And then there's about three days and she goes, we're just going to tinker around to do a couple of things. Me and and Grace, who is her assistant, and then it comes back and it's pages and pages and pages of stuff. And then I am in a blind fury and I stomp around the house and I stamp up and down the stairs because they're wooden and they make a lot of good noise. And I say, if they're so thick and fantastic at writing thick and books, why don't they thick and do it?

• 11:07Speaker 07

  And then, and then I process it and I think, well, they want it to be as good as it can be. So then I kind of go, okay, I will do two thirds of what they've suggested. But they will never get me to do the blah, blah, blah. And that's fine because they put in more stuff than they actually want because they know I won't do it all. And it's like, yeah, we have a really lovely working relationship because we understand those unspoken bits.

• 11:33Speaker 05

  Yes.

• 11:33Speaker 07

  That like, they know that I won't do it all and I know they've given me more things than they actually want. So it's good.

• 11:40Speaker 05

  But you'd never say that to each other because.

• 11:42Speaker 07

  No, they might know now. But, um, but, but we still wouldn't say it. Some things don't need to be said face to face. Yeah, it's like it really, it works really well. They're very kind to me and like, I want my books to be as good as they can be. And like, you have to have somebody from the outside saying, do this, do that. And oh Christ, that doesn't work. But in a way that kind of saves face.

• 12:06Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 12:06Speaker 07

  Yeah. And saves the relationship.

• 12:08Speaker 05

  You still want to think it's all your own thing.

• 12:11Speaker 07

  That's it.

• 12:11Speaker 05

  But you, yeah, because it'd be awful if they came back and said a massive change.

• 12:16Speaker 07

  Oh God, yeah.

• 12:17Speaker 05

  And then that was the thing that made it your best book.

• 12:20Speaker 07

  Yeah, exactly. I mean, yeah, but it's almost as bad when if they came back and said thrilling, thrillingly perfect. Not a single word needs to be changed because that can't be the case. You know, there has to be some pain with the, the praise. There has to be.

• 12:38Speaker 05

  And when, when you've, uh, you've turned in a book and they've been like, oh, what do you think this may, may be fixing here? Of all the little mistakes you may have made, do you have a favorite mistake?

• 12:48Speaker 07

  Haha, nice one.

• 12:50Speaker 05

  Segway.

• 12:51Speaker 07

  Very, very good.

• 12:53Speaker 05

  A segue. Not your best. That's a good, that's a good.

• 12:55Speaker 07

  It's excellent.

• 12:56Speaker 05

  It was good.

• 12:56Speaker 07

  There was, it was magnificent. Come on. I didn't see it coming.

• 13:00Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah. I don't think we needed a segue like that necessarily because we were already talking about writing books. Honestly.

• 13:06Speaker 07

  But we moved from the general to the specific.

• 13:09Speaker 05

  Yes, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. I would have just gone with, well, this new book.

• 13:13Speaker 07

  Yeah, also nice, also nice. Yes, yeah.

• 13:16Speaker 05

  Well, that's what I would bring.

• 13:17Speaker 07

  We are with that.

• 13:18Speaker 05

  Inspiration. You see segues.

• 13:20Speaker 07

  But he's was seamless.

• 13:21Speaker 05

  Yes. Yeah. I was, mine was seamless. You would describe as what's happening now as a seam?

• 13:25Speaker 07

  Ah.

• 13:26Speaker 05

  Well, that's because you're, that's you. You, you created the seam.

• 13:28Speaker 07

  Yeah, we move, we've turned a page with you.

• 13:31Speaker 05

  Yeah. Speaking of turning pages. Oh, he's done it.

• 13:35Speaker 07

  Now you have it. Fantastic. That was seamless.

• 13:38Speaker 05

  There we go.

• 13:39Speaker 07

  Yes.

• 13:39Speaker 05

  No notes. That was good.

• 13:41Speaker 07

  Exactly.

• 13:41Speaker 05

  That was good.

• 13:42Speaker 07

  It was brilliant. It was beautiful, is what it was.

• 13:44Speaker 05

  We should talk about.

• 13:46Speaker 07

  Grand, okay, okay.

• 13:47Speaker 05

  My favourite mistake.

• 13:48Speaker 07

  All right, okay.

• 13:49Speaker 05

  How do you even begin writing a book like this? Yes.

• 13:52Speaker 07

  Oh, God. All right. Okay. I, um, I started with, I always do. I start with one character. It's usually a woman and I usually want to write about whatever is kind of affecting women in the contemporary world. So this is about a woman who did a post-COVID midlife pivot. She was working in New York, had a fabulous job doing PR in cosmetics and had a lovely boyfriend who was way too nice to her. And, um, and she was living in New York and she decided that she didn't like any of it anymore. Um, but she's 48 and, well, she decides she's going to start life again.

• 14:26Speaker 07

  And so she moves to a small town in the west of Ireland. And it's, okay, it's about lots of things. It's about what it's like to be in midlife and kind of all the things you've done as a younger person that you just wish that you could go back and change. I mean, I spend an awful lot of my time, especially about four in the morning, just time travelling and wishing I could literally go back and just undo a lot of the things I did. And, and it's painful kind of learning to live with the things I can change. But yeah, her name is Anna. And, uh, there's this man that she's had this kind of 20 year kind of on, well, it was never fully on off, but they were always kind of in love with each other, but at different times. They both got married to other people. Now neither of them are married and they are working in the same place. And then it's also about female friendship.

• 15:12Speaker 07

  And the mythology, the the kind of this feeling that like a female friendship can never, you can never not be friends with your best friend, that like you are obliged to be friends with them from the day you were born to the day you die. And that if anything goes wrong, you are a freak and a weirdo. And why are you so terrible? So it's it's kind of about all of those things. And it's, I mean, I wrote it because we were just coming out of lockdown and then fecking Russia invades Ukraine. And I just thought, oh, Christ, the world is just going to continue to be awful. And for the foreseeable. So I wanted to write something hopeful and comforting and kind of, you know, about people being nice to each other and about community rather than people being awful.

• 15:56Speaker 07

  So that was kind of, I wanted to kind of create a happy safe because it takes me two years to write a book. So I needed a nice place for the two years for me to spend my time. So that's kind of it.

• 16:08Speaker 05

  It's really interesting, that thing, isn't it? That you can see what people really enjoy and what people crave from literature and, you know, all the media when what's going on in the world is absolutely horrendous. They they're drawn to something more comforting that they can just lose themselves in.

• 16:22Speaker 07

  Yeah, well, you see, I, I mean, I read an awful lot. And I was thinking, well, what am I reading? What do I like? What kind of gives gives me escape and comfort? And and it was that, like it was love stories, it was stories about family. And it was, you know, there can be no novel without some kind of profound unpleasantness because there is no point otherwise. But I wanted to write something that just generally felt positive or hopeful or just kind of acknowledge that human beings, although we are fundamentally awful, that we are capable of kindness and and, you know, comforting each other. And I think definitely nobody wants to read about how the world really is. I mean, I'm in profound denial about how dreadful it all is, but still it just leaks at you, doesn't it?

• 17:07Speaker 07

  But yeah, you're right. I mean, I will seek something uplifting rather than the grimness. Because all I have to do is look at the headline of a newspaper and it's like, thank you, that that's the entire month ruined for me. And that was a terrible mistake looking at that. And I do Sudoku's in in the Times every day. And so like I have to do this thing where like I'm tapping like I'm, you know, like putting my finger on the machine and I'm trying to get into the Times, but like avoiding any of the actual news. Try to find the bit where it says puzzles. And then once I get to the puzzle bit and go, okay, I'm safe, I'm safe, I'm safe. But at the same time, words have jumped out at me like Trump, you know, Putin, awfulness, terribleness. And I think that's enough to kind of rattle me for the entire day.

• 17:51Speaker 06

  Now, we're talking about books, but now you're talking is the name of your podcast.

• 17:56Speaker 07

  Oh, no, no, now you're asking.

• 17:58Speaker 06

  Fuck shit.

• 18:00Speaker 07

  No, it's fine. No, no, that's good because we can make a king of it.

• 18:03Speaker 06

  No, I was really pleased with that segue. I knew I was gonna do it and I actually formulated it in my head. Now we're asking about books, but now you're talking. That's what I was gonna, you're asking. And then I fucking fucked it.

• 18:14Speaker 07

  Do it again, do it again, do it again.

• 18:15Speaker 06

  Here's what you don't know as well, Maren. Before you came in, I messed up the intro loads. Like I was, I'd mess up my words in the intro. So clearly something's happening in my brain today.

• 18:25Speaker 07

  No, I love you. I'm like that, you know. And look at how you berate yourself. No, no, no, you have to be nicer to yourself.

• 18:32Speaker 06

  Yeah, yeah.

• 18:33Speaker 07

  We're all doing our best and you are brilliant. Your head moves so fast. You are so clever and so witty.

• 18:38Speaker 06

  Yes.

• 18:39Speaker 07

  And this is what happens sometimes, that like when you're like that, just the words are all coming too fast. And it's like a bottleneck, trying to get them through your brain and out to your mouth. And they just get mixed up.

• 18:51Speaker 05

  It's like people trying to leave a stadium with James, the words.

• 18:53Speaker 07

  Yes, that's exactly what it's like. It is exactly what it's like. Although if you are me and you travel with the Irish team, or you know, when you go to see the Irish team like in foreign places, they lock us in till the local teams have have left, yes. Which is so mean because Irish football fans are delicious, you know. There was one place, where was it? Slovakia, which is on my list of like no-fly zones forever and ever again. They locked us in for hours afterwards and then they left us leave. They let us leave and there was like men with machine guns watching us. We're like, excuse me, do you know who we are? We're Irish fans.

• 19:31Speaker 05

  They're treating you like you're English.

• 19:33Speaker 07

  I'm afraid so. I think they got, they got us mixed up. So anyway, how did we get on to this? The bottleneck. Yes. The footpod.

• 19:40Speaker 06

  Yes, the bottleneck. And then before that, we got into that because of the Now You're Asking.

• 19:45Speaker 07

  Yes.

• 19:46Speaker 06

  Podcast.

• 19:46Speaker 05

  Very good.

• 19:47Speaker 07

  Yes, yes, yes.

• 19:48Speaker 06

  Now You're Asking is a podcast that you're doing with Tara Flynn.

• 19:52Speaker 07

  Yes, do you know Tara? She's a comedian.

• 19:53Speaker 06

  We've never met Tara.

• 19:54Speaker 05

  No, never met Tara. Of course, I'm aware of Tara, absolutely. I've heard the name many, many times. But tell us a bit about Now, Now You're Asking.

• 20:03Speaker 07

  Okay, it's sort of, it's a problem show. So people write in with various kinds of dilemmas, like, so to be like, I have just met a new fella and I am less young than I used to be. And what's the story with pubic hair? Like, for example, would be one of the questions.

• 20:18Speaker 05

  That's a lot, that's a lot in one question, isn't it?

• 20:19Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 20:20Speaker 05

  It's a lot of backstory in the question.

• 20:22Speaker 07

  I know, I think it kind of gets straight to the heart of the issue. Yeah. But then others would be like, how many minutes should a tea bag be left in a cup? Before you have the perfect cup of tea? This kind of business now.

• 20:36Speaker 05

  And what's the story with pubic hair? Do they all end with?

• 20:38Speaker 07

  And yeah, and also, yeah, P S. Yeah, because that's what they really wanted to know, but they had to disguise it because they weren't as brave as the first person.

• 20:48Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 20:49Speaker 07

  Yeah. Yeah, things like that. So, and like, it's a mix of kind of fun stuff and really dark stuff. I mean, this poor woman wrote to us, I mean, she had been groomed by, I don't know what they're called in, in the Church of England, would be a vicar or a reverend or, I don't know. Anyway, when she was a, a child and a teenager, she was groomed by their local, whatever he was, vicar man. And as soon as she was 16, like, you waited until she was 16. And it's just, it's horrific. And she had never told anybody because her parents, her family were very into the church. And, and to be trusted with her story, I mean, it was a huge privilege.

• 21:30Speaker 07

  So we're very, very careful and very aware of how vulnerable people are who write in. So it is a mix of the dark and the light. And Tara's very funny. She's also very, very kind. And we recorded in my front room. So it's, it's very intimate and chatty and. Maybe you know the producer, he's Steve Dougherty, and like he put me and Tara together. And the whole thing, you know, sometimes something beautiful just lands in your lap. Like it's, it's, it, that's that. So we've done four series now and we're hoping that we'll be asked to do a fifth one.

• 22:07Speaker 06

  Well, what would you, if you had a question, Ed, uh, that you did answer, then they, they, because we can do one now.

• 22:12Speaker 05

  Hmm.

• 22:13Speaker 06

  If you had something that, like, uh, something that you need in your life.

• 22:16Speaker 05

  What is the story with pubic hair?

• 22:19Speaker 06

  Oh, Ed, not even doing the con, not even giving the context like the first person did.

• 22:24Speaker 05

  Now I'm cutting to the heart of the issue.

• 22:26Speaker 07

  Come on, like two sentences before.

• 22:28Speaker 05

  I don't think I have anything to ask.

• 22:30Speaker 06

  Well, Ed's actual thing with pubic hair is that he does trim his pubes, but he lets them grow out to a point where he just says he looks like a woolly mammoth before he cuts them again. Is there a way that Ed can motivate himself to keep on top of it more?

• 22:44Speaker 05

  That's a good question.

• 22:45Speaker 07

  Yes, that's a very good question.

• 22:47Speaker 06

  Don't ask me how I know all that.

• 22:49Speaker 05

  I treat it like a sheep.

• 22:50Speaker 07

  Yeah, all right then. So it's kind of seasonal.

• 22:52Speaker 05

  Seasonal, yeah.

• 22:53Speaker 07

  Yeah. Well, I mean, you can't be shaving the sheep the whole time, you know, but I mean, there's nothing there. Yeah. You know, I would, I would do a job, yeah. I do a job lot, yeah.

• 23:05Speaker 05

  Yeah, that's exactly what I do.

• 23:07Speaker 07

  Yeah, yeah.

• 23:07Speaker 05

  But James is stressing this is an issue.

• 23:09Speaker 06

  Well, you, you've, you've expressed it as an issue in the past.

• 23:12Speaker 05

  Well, I don't, I don't, I don't know whether, you know, it's difficult to know what's normal with that sort of thing, is it? Because people aren't as open as, as us three.

• 23:19Speaker 07

  You could ask somebody, not me.

• 23:21Speaker 05

  Not you.

• 23:21Speaker 07

  Yes.

• 23:22Speaker 05

  That's a, that's a great response to a question.

• 23:25Speaker 07

  Yes.

• 23:26Speaker 05

  You should ask somebody.

• 23:26Speaker 07

  Not me.

• 23:27Speaker 05

  We're moving on.

• 23:30Speaker 05

  We have lots of questions for you, Marion, of course, but they're all food based questions.

• 23:33Speaker 07

  Oh, yeah, okay.

• 23:34Speaker 05

  It's rare we get to the pubes before the food.

• 23:36Speaker 06

  So hopefully when we ask you, would you like still a sparkling water? You don't say you should ask someone that, not me.

• 23:41Speaker 05

  Also, the, we're now in the dream restaurant and the last question you want to hear in the dream restaurant is what's the story with this pubic hair?

• 23:48Speaker 07

  Yeah, that, yeah, no, that is true.

• 23:50Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 23:50Speaker 07

  Yes. I don't want any pubic hair with my, my stiller sparkling water, if that's okay.

• 23:55Speaker 05

  That's, of course, that's fine.

• 23:56Speaker 07

  I mean, I know it's an added extra.

• 23:57Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 23:58Speaker 07

  But yeah, thank you. Thank you. Just let's keep it simple.

• 24:01Speaker 06

  Someone came to my house the other day, a much older person, and they left a pub on, on the, on the toilet seat. And it was the biggest pub I'd ever seen.

• 24:10Speaker 07

  Lord God.

• 24:11Speaker 06

  I thought that, I thought, do your pubes get bigger when you get older?

• 24:15Speaker 07

  Ask somebody, not me.

• 24:17Speaker 06

  Really, really long. He's long. But but undeniably a pub. Yeah.

• 24:21Speaker 07

  I was, are you sure?

• 24:22Speaker 06

  Yeah, hundred percent. Much older person. Much older person.

• 24:26Speaker 07

  How old?

• 24:27Speaker 06

  Like seventies. Yeah. Longest pubes I've ever seen.

• 24:36Speaker 06

  Still a sparkling water, Marion.

• 24:38Speaker 07

  I don't know, it depends. I mean, okay, I'll have sparkling because it's a, it's a special time. Cause I don't drink, so I have to kind of take my, my, my thrills where I get.

• 24:46Speaker 06

  Yes.

• 24:46Speaker 07

  So, yeah, we go sparkling. Um, I know I heard Emily Campbell saying that, um, you're a psychopath if you, you pick sparkling water. Um, but if I'm a psychopath, then bring it on.

• 24:58Speaker 06

  So be it.

• 24:58Speaker 07

  So be it. Give me the sparkling water.

• 25:01Speaker 06

  Do you want to look at the rest of your clues?

• 25:02Speaker 07

  I'm always doing quizzes to see if I am. And, um, yeah, I do a lot of online quizzes. I could easily be. I could. Yeah.

• 25:11Speaker 06

  But what do the quizzes say? You are?

• 25:13Speaker 07

  Yeah, they're saying, yeah, you could be. Yeah.

• 25:14Speaker 06

  I say you could be.

• 25:16Speaker 07

  Yeah. I think it's because I don't like dogs. It's not that I don't like them, but I'm afraid of them. But if you say that.

• 25:21Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 25:21Speaker 07

  People, people are so judgy about the non-dog lover.

• 25:26Speaker 06

  Yes.

• 25:27Speaker 07

  Yeah, they're really quick to shunt you into the psychopath category, which I think is unfair.

• 25:32Speaker 06

  I think it shows insecurity on their part.

• 25:34Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 25:34Speaker 06

  I think, you know, like each to their own, whatever people love and like, great. But as soon as you like something and you say, anyone who doesn't like this thing.

• 25:42Speaker 07

  Is a psychopath.

• 25:43Speaker 06

  Wrong with them.

• 25:43Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 25:44Speaker 06

  You're like, okay. I think they're a psychopath for saying that.

• 25:46Speaker 07

  They're psychopaths for saying I'm a psychopath. Yeah.

• 25:48Speaker 06

  Or they're worried that like, dog lovers get, because like, dogs get viewed as more basic than cats and all of this. And that's just. You know, I've got cats, but I'm not thinking that that makes, yeah, that's better. That I, I, I don't think old cats are this for sophisticated people and dogs are for idiots.

• 26:04Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 26:04Speaker 06

  And there's a coincidence there that I gestured towards Ed for cats, who has a cat. Yeah. And Ben, who has a dog for the dog. But like, but like, I don't think that. Um, but I think some, some dog owners, uh, like, like Ben, uh, think, oh, everyone must think I'm a right dummy. Cause I love dogs so much, because dogs are so easy to get the affection from, you know, but we don't think that.

• 26:24Speaker 07

  No, she said uncertainly. No, yeah, no, nobody is a psychopath for, for liking or not liking cats and dogs.

• 26:31Speaker 06

  Yeah, yeah.

• 26:31Speaker 07

  It's when, yeah.

• 26:32Speaker 06

  It depends why, I guess.

• 26:34Speaker 07

  Yeah, it's, no, I'm just, I'm afraid of dogs. I'm afraid of most things.

• 26:37Speaker 06

  Have you? Psychopaths aren't afraid.

• 26:39Speaker 07

  Psychopaths aren't afraid. But they are, what's the word, superficially charming. And I think, I think I fall into that category.

• 26:46Speaker 06

  You're charming.

• 26:47Speaker 05

  You're very charming.

• 26:48Speaker 06

  Charming guest.

• 26:49Speaker 07

  Thank you, but it's superficial, James.

• 26:52Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 26:52Speaker 07

  Oh, yeah. I'm awful.

• 26:54Speaker 05

  That's big, that's a big thing to find out at the top of the interview.

• 26:56Speaker 06

  Yeah, straight away.

• 26:57Speaker 05

  It's all been a lie so far.

• 26:59Speaker 07

  It's all a sham.

• 27:00Speaker 06

  Do you like other animals?

• 27:01Speaker 07

  I don't like any animals, no.

• 27:03Speaker 06

  Wow. Scared of them all?

• 27:04Speaker 07

  I'm either scared or I don't like them. I'm, I am sort of scared of cats, I'm really sorry, but I don't like them either.

• 27:10Speaker 06

  It's okay.

• 27:11Speaker 07

  Yeah, and they don't like me. Yeah, we, we have a mutual antipathy.

• 27:15Speaker 06

  Have you had experiences where they've been shitty to you?

• 27:18Speaker 07

  They give me looks.

• 27:19Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 27:19Speaker 07

  Kind of, they look at me and go, I see you.

• 27:23Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 27:23Speaker 07

  Oh, yeah. You and your superficial charm. Who are me?

• 27:28Speaker 05

  Cats often though, if someone doesn't like cats, I've certainly found this with my cat.

• 27:32Speaker 07

  Oh, yeah, that they'll paw you.

• 27:33Speaker 05

  Then they'll be like, they'll be like, well, I'm sitting on you then.

• 27:36Speaker 07

  Yeah, they do. And sometimes they sit on the back of the couch and then they jump onto my shoulder. And if you're afraid of things.

• 27:41Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 27:42Speaker 07

  That can, that can be unpleasant.

• 27:43Speaker 05

  Yeah, something coming from behind you and sitting on your shoulder.

• 27:46Speaker 07

  Yeah, and then they turn around and they give me the look, kind of, gotcha. No, they're awful. Sorry, sorry, sorry, cat lovers, sorry, dog lovers.

• 27:53Speaker 05

  Please don't apologize.

• 27:54Speaker 07

  Sorry lizard lovers.

• 27:56Speaker 06

  You don't like lizards?

• 27:57Speaker 07

  Oh, my God, no. No, I don't like anything like that. No.

• 28:02Speaker 06

  A single animal you would, you would like?

• 28:04Speaker 07

  No, I like babies. Would that do?

• 28:07Speaker 06

  Yeah, yeah, that would do. They're basically pets.

• 28:09Speaker 05

  If a baby crawled onto your shoulder, you're fine with that?

• 28:11Speaker 07

  I'd be thrilled. No, I would. I'd love that. I'd love that. Yeah.

• 28:14Speaker 06

  Really?

• 28:15Speaker 07

  Oh, God, I'd love it. Yeah, I like, I love babies. Oh, yeah, I'd love a baby who could talk.

• 28:21Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 28:21Speaker 07

  Yeah, I would.

• 28:23Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 28:23Speaker 05

  A child.

• 28:24Speaker 07

  I, well, no, a baby.

• 28:25Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 28:26Speaker 07

  Yeah. Because then you get to snuggle them and, yeah, anyway.

• 28:30Speaker 06

  A child isn't a baby that can talk, Ed.

• 28:33Speaker 05

  Well, there's probably a point where a baby starts to talk before it's, you know, you know what I mean?

• 28:38Speaker 07

  Yeah, I do, yeah.

• 28:39Speaker 05

  Like, there's a crossover point, isn't there?

• 28:41Speaker 07

  Almost toddler. Would that be kind of where we're at?

• 28:43Speaker 05

  Yeah. Still, you still might go, look at this baby.

• 28:46Speaker 07

  Yes, infant, child, toddler, toddler.

• 28:49Speaker 05

  They're saying some little, little words.

• 28:51Speaker 07

  Yeah, I love when they start talking. Yeah.

• 28:53Speaker 06

  Pop them up, so bad. Pop them up, so bad, man.

• 28:56Speaker 07

  Oh, bread.

• 28:57Speaker 06

  You looked so shocked at me.

• 28:59Speaker 05

  That's the first time you'd not been able to get through it.

• 29:01Speaker 06

  Because you looked at me like, what has happened? What have I done?

• 29:04Speaker 07

  Yeah, because I didn't hear, I didn't know what you were saying.

• 29:06Speaker 06

  Puzzles or bread, Marion Keyes? Puzzles or bread?

• 29:08Speaker 07

  Bread, bread, bread, James.

• 29:10Speaker 06

  You looked genuinely, I've never had someone look hurt by it before. You looked like I'd hurt your feelings.

• 29:15Speaker 07

  No, no, I was confused.

• 29:17Speaker 05

  But also, you said you're scared of a lot of things.

• 29:19Speaker 07

  I thought you were shouting abuse at me like people sometimes do in the street.

• 29:23Speaker 06

  So what, I did hurt your feelings? That's what?

• 29:25Speaker 07

  No, no, I'm always interested. I want to know what it is that they're saying. So that we could have a conversation. No, no, no, bread. Thank you very much.

• 29:31Speaker 06

  Who's shouting abuse at you in the street?

• 29:33Speaker 07

  What you know, just, just people.

• 29:35Speaker 06

  We'll beat them up.

• 29:36Speaker 07

  Oh, thank you.

• 29:37Speaker 06

  We're pretty tough. I stood up to Stephen Graham recently on the podcast, when he came on the episode.

• 29:42Speaker 07

  No, who's Stephen Graham?

• 29:43Speaker 06

  He's an actor. He's like a real tough guy, or so he likes to think. And he came on here.

• 29:48Speaker 07

  Is he from Liverpool?

• 29:49Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 29:50Speaker 07

  Oh, yeah, I know him. He's great. Yeah. Stop.

• 29:52Speaker 06

  Yeah, it was on the podcast. Everyone's heard it.

• 29:54Speaker 05

  James got torn apart.

• 29:55Speaker 06

  Everyone's heard it. I stood up to him on the podcast.

• 29:58Speaker 07

  Yeah, good, good, good, good, good.

• 30:00Speaker 06

  Yeah, thank you.

• 30:01Speaker 05

  You know the phrase, he tore him a new one. You know that phrase?

• 30:04Speaker 07

  He didn't.

• 30:04Speaker 06

  Well, it was my pleasure to.

• 30:05Speaker 05

  Stephen tore James so many new ones. He was covered in bumholes.

• 30:09Speaker 07

  No, no.

• 30:11Speaker 06

  What?

• 30:12Speaker 07

  It was the other way around.

• 30:13Speaker 06

  Yeah, it's the other way around. He was like a colander.

• 30:18Speaker 06

  Um, you would like some bread?

• 30:19Speaker 07

  Bread, I'd like lots of bread. Thank you.

• 30:21Speaker 06

  Lovely.

• 30:22Speaker 05

  Any particular, yeah, any particular type of bread?

• 30:25Speaker 07

  If I only have to pick one, there's, there's a hotel in Ireland called Hotel Europe. It's in Kerry. And they have a treacle and Guinness bread. And I swear to God. I mean, I would just eat that for my entire dinner, but I realise I have to say other things as well. Um, I really like bread. I really like bread and I really like butter. Bread and butter together. Like, you see, I have a funny relationship with food in that, like, I don't enjoy being hungry. And I like to move from the state of hungry to not hungry as quickly and efficiently as possible. But I am the absolute opposite of a foodie. Like, my idea of abject misery is, oh, Christ.

• 31:07Speaker 07

  Been like trapped in a restaurant, having signed up to a nine course tasting menu. It's like been taken hostage. Like it is like, you know, and I just want the people outside to pay whatever the ransom is, so that I can be allowed to go free. Um, because when the bread comes, I eat so much of it that I've lost all interest in whatever comes afterwards.

• 31:29Speaker 08

  Yeah.

• 31:29Speaker 07

  Um, all right. So we'll stick with one, one bread for this, because I have, I have to say other things as well afterwards. Is that correct?

• 31:37Speaker 08

  Yeah.

• 31:38Speaker 05

  Do you want us, so when we serve you the bread, do you want us to try and sort of keep an eye on how much you're having?

• 31:42Speaker 07

  Limit it. Yeah. Only maybe bring one piece.

• 31:45Speaker 05

  Okay.

• 31:45Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 31:46Speaker 06

  And where's this place again?

• 31:47Speaker 07

  It's in, it's in Killarney in County Kerry. It's called the Hotel Europe. Um, I go every Easter with my brothers and sisters and their babbies and my mother and they have an Easter bunny hunt on a Sunday and it's just, it's lovely. It's my happy, happy time.

• 32:05Speaker 05

  How do you feel about the Easter bunny though?

• 32:07Speaker 07

  I, I mean, it's funny because the, the younger nieces and nephews cry their eyes out, um, whenever it comes near. But it usually has a basket of cream eggs and Kinder Eggs. So I like it for that. I think I will make eye contact with it while also trying to steal some of the things from the basket. Anything where there's an opportunity for chocolate or sugar, I embrace. Yeah. So the, the Easter bunny is grand because although it is an animal, there are nice things associated with its arrival.

• 32:37Speaker 06

  So if Easter bunny, just you turn it on your shoulder?

• 32:41Speaker 07

  I wouldn't be delighted, but then I would look down to see if the basket was there. And if the basket was there, then I would feel calm. Calm, calm. Yes.

• 32:48Speaker 06

  It scares the kiddies.

• 32:50Speaker 07

  Really does. It's so weird. They're terrified.

• 32:53Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 32:53Speaker 07

  Like they cry. Like I have loads of photographs of them, like with the Easter bunny with his arms around them and they're crying their eyes out.

• 33:01Speaker 05

  Well, it's weird because what, what would they imagine the Easter bunny was like? Because

• 33:05Speaker 07

  Smaller.

• 33:05Speaker 05

  Like an actual bunny sized thing.

• 33:07Speaker 07

  Definitely, definitely. Not this huge yoke with like ears that are like eight feet high. And, and it's all a bit mangy, the costume, because it's the same. Costume every year.

• 33:18Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 33:18Speaker 07

  You know, like you can't be buying new ones. Like Easter bunny costumes aren't cheap, I'd imagine. And also there's something weird going on with the eyes. I don't think the eyes on the bunny is where the eyes are on the person. I think the person is looking out to the mouth.

• 33:31Speaker 05

  Yeah, that's horrible.

• 33:32Speaker 07

  It's all a bit odd when you think about it.

• 33:34Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah.

• 33:35Speaker 07

  Yeah, but then they get the chocolate as well. So then they stop crying.

• 33:38Speaker 06

  Yeah, but that's not, it's not nice in the meantime.

• 33:41Speaker 07

  No, it's not.

• 33:42Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 33:42Speaker 07

  I mean, we sort of find it cute and funny.

• 33:44Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 33:45Speaker 07

  But it's not nice for the children. No.

• 33:47Speaker 06

  Yeah, that's why you're taking photos, because it is funny.

• 33:49Speaker 07

  That's it. That's it. Yes.

• 33:50Speaker 05

  It's traumatizing for them.

• 33:51Speaker 07

  It is a bit, I suppose, yeah. But good for them. Toughens them up.

• 33:55Speaker 06

  Yeah. Is this bread warm?

• 33:57Speaker 07

  Oh, God, yes, please. Yes, thank you.

• 34:00Speaker 05

  And what sort of butter do you want with it?

• 34:01Speaker 07

  Just ordinary Irish Kerrygold butter. Thank you.

• 34:04Speaker 06

  Yes.

• 34:06Speaker 05

  That's our test to check our guests are actually Irish. If they don't say Kerrygold, we know they're lying.

• 34:10Speaker 07

  Yes, I am a fraud.

• 34:11Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 34:12Speaker 06

  I don't know how many guests from Ireland have not chosen Kerrygold, but it's not many.

• 34:17Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 34:18Speaker 07

  Okay, that's good. Do they really say it? That's so sweet.

• 34:21Speaker 05

  Oh, yeah. Kerrygold comes up a lot with our Irish guests. Yes.

• 34:23Speaker 07

  Nice.

• 34:24Speaker 06

  Like, you know, I'm as English as they come.

• 34:29Speaker 06

  But I'll lose respect for those people when they come on. When an Irish guest comes on and doesn't choose Kerrygold, I think you should be ashamed of yourself.

• 34:34Speaker 07

  You should be ashamed of yourself.

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• 37:41Speaker 06

  Your dream starter.

• 37:42Speaker 07

  Okay, right. My husband makes it. I don't really know how to describe it.

• 37:46Speaker 06

  He's in the building, shout out.

• 37:48Speaker 07

  He is. I have actually come with this written down somewhere. I might have to refer to me notes. It is a-

• 37:53Speaker 06

  He'll be able to hear this as well.

• 37:54Speaker 05

  Yes.

• 37:54Speaker 06

  He's in the next room, he can hear it.

• 37:55Speaker 07

  Okay. It is called a tomato and ricotta salad with coriander seed and lemon oil. But that sounds really kind of dull. These are lovely tomatoes. They're heritage tomatoes. Like they're funny round colours, purple, yellow, and they taste of things. You know the way like most tomatoes taste of cotton wool? These actually have a flavour. And it says ricotta cheese here, but it's not. He uses, oh god, manchego, manchego.

• 38:25Speaker 05

  Oh nice.

• 38:26Speaker 07

  Yeah, which is a hard Spanish cheese. And then he does sourdough croutons soaked in olive oil. And they're honest to god. And he does some funny sort of tomatoey reduction business. And it's so delicious.

• 38:41Speaker 06

  What's the, is there lettuce in it and stuff?

• 38:44Speaker 07

  No, it's just the tomatoes and the croutons.

• 38:46Speaker 06

  Oh great.

• 38:47Speaker 07

  And then the other things thrown over. There's basil and maybe spring onion sometimes, but-

• 38:53Speaker 06

  Excellent.

• 38:53Speaker 07

  He's one of these people who does, he does things with whatever's in the fridge, you know?

• 38:57Speaker 05

  Great. You need someone like that in the house.

• 38:59Speaker 07

  Because it's not me. It's really not.

• 39:02Speaker 06

  That's brilliant. It's like a fancy elevated caprese salad.

• 39:07Speaker 07

  It is. It is. Yes.

• 39:10Speaker 05

  I love the coriander seed in there, sounds incredible.

• 39:12Speaker 07

  Yeah, because he toasts them. He's one of these people that does all those things, which makes me really anxious. If I have to do more than two things at once, I just kind of short circuit and I can't do anything. I have to sit and cry while the people who are expected come over and there's nothing for them to eat. I'm just not that person.

• 39:31Speaker 05

  Also, I love a salad where every ingredient, I'm like, I'd look forward to eating that bit.

• 39:34Speaker 07

  Yes.

• 39:35Speaker 05

  Because so many salads sometimes, if there's cheese in other salads, I'm like, let's be honest, I'm picking through and finding the cheese.

• 39:41Speaker 07

  Yeah, exactly. Yeah. You're exactly right. It is one of those kind of, it's like a jewel box. And everything is delicious and fresh and tastes of things.

• 39:52Speaker 05

  That sounds so good. And good tomatoes are very hard to find.

• 39:55Speaker 07

  They are.

• 39:56Speaker 06

  They are hard to find. As is a fella. How did you meet?

• 40:01Speaker 07

  You're gorgeous.

• 40:02Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 40:03Speaker 07

  Okay.

• 40:03Speaker 05

  You're on fire now, mate.

• 40:04Speaker 07

  I loved it. Loved it. Another, another seamless segue.

• 40:07Speaker 05

  There's a queue in the stadium now for people to get out. It's gone very ordered, hasn't it?

• 40:11Speaker 07

  It's, it's really, people are so upbeat.

• 40:13Speaker 06

  One call at a time, lad.

• 40:14Speaker 07

  And everyone is just so happy to do it as you say.

• 40:17Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 40:17Speaker 07

  Okay. My flatmate worked with him. This is 4,000 years ago. This is a very long time ago. I'm with him for 30 years. And he is lovely. He's really, really nice to me, which is rarer than you might think. And we have great fun. And when I met him, he had a fabulous job and I had a crappy one. And then my books got published and, and he gave up his fabulous job and, and he is my assistant. Also my chef, my personal chef.

• 40:46Speaker 06

  Yeah, great. You can have those salads whenever you want.

• 40:48Speaker 07

  Whenever I want. Exactly.

• 40:50Speaker 06

  You can go.

• 40:51Speaker 07

  Yes. I ring down in the morning and I, I say my order for the day.

• 40:56Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 40:57Speaker 07

  And, and then he goes to the shops. He doesn't. And buys the things. No, no, no, it's not like that.

• 41:04Speaker 05

  I used to think I had my dream job, but now I've realised my dream job is my wife becoming a worldwide smash novelist and me becoming her personal chef.

• 41:13Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 41:13Speaker 05

  That's it.

• 41:14Speaker 06

  You'd like that?

• 41:14Speaker 05

  That's what I want to do now.

• 41:15Speaker 06

  Do you have any advice for Ed's wife, how to become a renowned novelist?

• 41:20Speaker 07

  Well, if she could write some books, that would probably be a start.

• 41:23Speaker 05

  That would be a good start, wouldn't it?

• 41:24Speaker 07

  Yeah. Ask somebody, not me.

• 41:28Speaker 07

  No, I mean, yeah, like anyone who wants to write, there are no kind of, you don't need anyone's permission.

• 41:36Speaker 05

  I think I just want to cook more. I think that's what.

• 41:38Speaker 07

  Oh, really? Okay. Well, that's lovely.

• 41:39Speaker 05

  Yeah, I'll just cook for her more.

• 41:41Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 41:41Speaker 05

  Doesn't matter if she's a novelist or not.

• 41:43Speaker 07

  Yeah. It doesn't matter. It doesn't. Yeah, it's true.

• 41:47Speaker 06

  Yeah, she's got a hot apple end of the deal.

• 41:48Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 41:50Speaker 06

  A bit of novelist.

• 41:52Speaker 07

  Does she have a job?

• 41:53Speaker 05

  Yes, she does.

• 41:54Speaker 07

  Oh, this is fine. This is fine.

• 41:56Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 41:57Speaker 07

  You cook.

• 41:58Speaker 05

  Yeah, I just.

• 41:58Speaker 07

  And she'll do her job.

• 41:59Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah.

• 42:00Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 42:00Speaker 05

  That's fine. Yeah.

• 42:01Speaker 06

  But you've got to quit your job.

• 42:02Speaker 05

  Oh, yeah. Good point. I've got to quit my job.

• 42:04Speaker 07

  So would you mind?

• 42:06Speaker 06

  You can do it now to Benito.

• 42:07Speaker 05

  I guess, yeah.

• 42:08Speaker 06

  How did you notice now?

• 42:09Speaker 05

  I think I would mind maybe quitting my job.

• 42:11Speaker 07

  Okay, then don't. Don't quit. Yeah.

• 42:14Speaker 05

  Just cook more.

• 42:14Speaker 07

  Just cook a bit more. Yes. We don't have to go to the extremes every time. No, no, we can just do things in a small way.

• 42:22Speaker 05

  We can just find our own way with it. We don't have to do exactly what you and your husband did.

• 42:25Speaker 07

  We don't, we don't, exactly.

• 42:27Speaker 06

  I thought I was going to get him to quit. I thought I could do it.

• 42:29Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah.

• 42:30Speaker 06

  I thought I could get him to hand his notice in to Ben.

• 42:32Speaker 07

  Come now. No, the pair of you are beautiful together. The three of you.

• 42:36Speaker 06

  Not the three of us. He's fucking up a week.

• 42:40Speaker 05

  He's been fucking up all week, Mary.

• 42:47Speaker 06

  Your dream main course.

• 42:49Speaker 07

  Okay, I don't eat meat and or fish, not for any reasons other than they give me the ache. And it's very, very difficult.

• 42:57Speaker 05

  You really? You're holding up this thing about animals here?

• 42:59Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 43:00Speaker 07

  Which, yeah.

• 43:01Speaker 06

  Off the board.

• 43:02Speaker 07

  Yeah. Anything that reminds me that they were once alive and swimming around or running around just distresses me terribly. But it's really hard to be a vegetarian because the only thing they ever give you is mushrooms. And I also hate mushrooms. They taste like death. They taste like sort of mulch. And like they've been buried in forests with rotting leaves above them. It's just miserable. Anyway, there's a place in Ireland called Woodruff. It's a place, it's a restaurant in Dublin. And they do a thing with butternut squash, where they roast the butternut squash in a sort of a dry stew with chickpeas. Now, I know this sounds maybe not thrilling, but it is delicious.

• 43:44Speaker 07

  And they use, hang on, let me see now, Ras el Hanout, some sort of collection of Moroccan spices, I think. And it is on it, they roast the squash so that it is almost sweet and it's all gone sort of caramelized. And it's honest to God, and it is so soft and fabulous. It's a pleasure to eat instead of kind of the misery of vegetarian food, which is usually such a kind of a, an afterthought. And this place. This Woodrough Place, they also do meaty things like, I mean, you see, my husband would really eat anything. And kind of the more awful, the better. Like, um, like, we were in Estonia and he ate bear.

• 44:26Speaker 07

  And we were in France and they had this thing on the menu that we eventually translated as cock's comb. You know, the thing on the, on the rooster's head.

• 44:34Speaker 06

  Oh, yeah.

• 44:35Speaker 05

  A chicken hat?

• 44:36Speaker 07

  A chicken hat, exactly.

• 44:38Speaker 06

  Little Mohican.

• 44:39Speaker 05

  I didn't know you could eat the chicken hat.

• 44:40Speaker 07

  Yeah, well, neither did we until we saw it there. And so he ordered it and it caused like a, a sensation in the restaurant. Like all the French people came out to talk to him and, you know, first of all, the maître d had to come out and persuade him not to have it. And then the manager of the whole hotel came out and tried to talk him down. And then, and like, and then when it finally came and he was eating it, like everyone, like the kitchen porters, like people came in from the streets to watch Le Roast Beef, eating the, the, the disgusting French chicken hat. But anyway, Woodrough, they don't exactly do that, but they do other things like, um, well, duck, I suppose, doesn't seem that kind of revolutionary, but, um,

• 45:20Speaker 07

  it kind of is repulsive to me. Or what's that other thing? Venison, you know, they do that as well. They do nice things for meat eaters, eaters, is what I'm trying to say. But they don't leave the likes of me behind. So what would we call it? Squash with chickpea soup. It's stew.

• 45:37Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 45:38Speaker 05

  With rat's hell, that's, that's, yeah, yeah.

• 45:40Speaker 07

  Roasted, because the whole thing is roasted.

• 45:42Speaker 06

  I haven't eaten a butternut squash in a while. That was, I, I used to be doing that pretty regularly and having a, a good old time.

• 45:48Speaker 05

  They're a bugger to chop up, though.

• 45:49Speaker 07

  And to peel. Yeah, they are.

• 45:53Speaker 05

  That first cut into a butternut squash is.

• 45:55Speaker 07

  Yeah, it's really difficult. Yeah, yeah. Which is why you should go to Woodrough. I am not in the pay of these people at all. They're just, they're nice. It's a nice, small restaurant where they do like lovely, lovely food and they're nice to you. And they play lovely music.

• 46:09Speaker 06

  What, what kind of music we're talking?

• 46:11Speaker 07

  Well, the jam and that sort of thing.

• 46:17Speaker 06

  They play the jam.

• 46:18Speaker 07

  Yeah, the jam and kind of eighties, good eighties music, you know.

• 46:22Speaker 05

  Is that important to you in a restaurant setting, the, the music?

• 46:25Speaker 07

  Well, yeah. I mean, it's awful to have sort of muzak on, but it is really nice. The Cure is another one they play. You know, you're sitting there, oh my God, I remember this and yeah, it kind of adds to the whole, it uplifts me.

• 46:40Speaker 06

  Hmm.

• 46:41Speaker 07

  You know, I remember what it was like being twenty and yeah, I do.

• 46:46Speaker 06

  Do you ever listen to music when, when you're writing? I'm sure you've been asked this a lot.

• 46:49Speaker 07

  Yeah, I don't, um.

• 46:51Speaker 06

  Does it ever inspire you?

• 46:53Speaker 07

  Sometimes. It depends on what I'm writing. Not really, to be honest with you. It's not, it's just that I don't really notice it. I just kind of go into my own head. Like, I don't need silence or anything like that, but uh, it's not really part of the experience either.

• 47:08Speaker 06

  So when it comes to something like The Walsh Sisters, which is gonna have music in there somewhere, the TV shows.

• 47:13Speaker 07

  Yes.

• 47:14Speaker 06

  Do you think like, oh, okay, that book that I wrote, what music do I think would fit with that world? And can I like, you know, throw some ideas?

• 47:21Speaker 07

  There was a little bit in, in, in both My Favorite Mistake and, um, and the previous book, again, Rachel, because both of them feature these men who used to be, they called them the real men, who used to listen to a lot of Led Zeppelin and stuff because they were just, you know, that type, stuck, stuck in the past. And so I did, I listened to some, and to some, who'd you call them? The Doobie Brothers, yeah.

• 47:44Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 47:44Speaker 07

  I felt, yeah, it did kind of conjure up like what, what they looked like. But I, I would really like to talk about the music for the TV show if, if you would be of interested.

• 47:53Speaker 06

  Yes.

• 47:53Speaker 07

  Do you know Seemash?

• 47:55Speaker 06

  Yes, we had her on the podcast.

• 47:56Speaker 05

  She's on this podcast.

• 47:57Speaker 06

  Sat in that seat.

• 47:57Speaker 07

  Oh my God.

• 47:58Speaker 06

  And did she choose Kerrygold?

• 48:00Speaker 07

  Of course she did.

• 48:01Speaker 05

  She may well have done, I'm sure.

• 48:03Speaker 07

  That woman is a goddess.

• 48:04Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 48:04Speaker 07

  Um, okay. She wrote a song and one of the lines in it was the Marian keys of it all. And I am a not young and she is a young and I was so thrilled that she knew about me. And then I listened to her then, and like, I, I just, I love her so much. I love her attitude and I love her, her energy and her, and she's positive and she's fearless and, I mean, she's an absolute star. But anyway, so they were talking, the producers of the TV show about, you know, using music for the episodes and hopefully Irish musicians. So, um, she and I had become pals and so I asked her if she would allow.

• 48:45Speaker 07

  One of her songs, maybe the Marion Key song to be used. And, um, and she said she would be thrilled. And now there is talk that she might write an actual special new song.

• 48:54Speaker 06

  Wow.

• 48:54Speaker 07

  For, I know, I know. That's not really what you asked me, but it was something that I really enjoyed. Yeah, like talking about, yeah. It's so exciting because she is just, she's just remarkable. She's a complete one off and I love her. And, and kind of anyone who has encountered her in any way seems to love her. She's just beautiful energy.

• 49:17Speaker 06

  Did you see, see her on the Jules Holland Hootenanny?

• 49:21Speaker 07

  I didn't because, um, I didn't. Um, yeah, because it's on too late.

• 49:25Speaker 06

  Yes.

• 49:26Speaker 07

  And, um, but like, yeah, I didn't. But I'm so glad because that seemed to have converted an awful lot of people who didn't know about her.

• 49:32Speaker 06

  Well, I mean, we were watching it.

• 49:34Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 49:34Speaker 06

  And we knew, obviously, we interviewed her, knew her music anyway. But, um, this is going to sound like I'm slagging off everyone else on the Hootenanny. And I basically am. She was so much better than everyone else in a way that was quite embarrassing for everyone else.

• 49:47Speaker 07

  She is.

• 49:47Speaker 06

  That's, that's what I'll say. And, um, if Bob Geldof wants to come at me, he will.

• 49:52Speaker 07

  Never mind him.

• 50:00Speaker 06

  Your dream side dish, Mary.

• 50:02Speaker 07

  Oh, okay. Right. How do we, hassle, hassle back potatoes.

• 50:07Speaker 06

  Yes. I, I nearly jumped in and said hoff and then I thought, leave me alone.

• 50:11Speaker 07

  Nearly said, no, I nearly said it.

• 50:13Speaker 06

  It's hassle potatoes.

• 50:14Speaker 07

  Yeah. Thank God I didn't. Yeah. Hassle back potatoes. Now, do you know what they are? I think you do.

• 50:19Speaker 06

  Great. Please, for, for the lesson of that.

• 50:21Speaker 07

  Yeah. Okay. Right. They are a potato and they have loads and loads and loads of tiny, thin slices cut into them. But the bottom of the potato is still intact. So it's kind of like a little fan, a little accordion. And into the little pleats, you put like tons of butter, Kerrygold of course.

• 50:39Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 50:40Speaker 07

  And, uh, you can do, I mean, you can do other things. You can do beetroot like that as well, but like, I mean, why would you when you could do a potato? That, I would love that so much.

• 50:49Speaker 06

  Heavily seasoned?

• 50:51Speaker 07

  With salt.

• 50:51Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 50:52Speaker 07

  Tons of salt, thank you.

• 50:53Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 50:54Speaker 07

  There's no need for the pepper, thanks.

• 50:55Speaker 06

  Okay.

• 50:56Speaker 05

  Not a fan of the pepper?

• 50:57Speaker 07

  I don't mind it, but I think potatoes, leave them alone. Salt and butter is all you need.

• 51:01Speaker 06

  Hmm.

• 51:02Speaker 07

  You know, why ruin something that's already magnificent? Perfect.

• 51:06Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 51:06Speaker 05

  What sort of sized potato are you?

• 51:08Speaker 07

  Oh, very big one, very big.

• 51:09Speaker 05

  Massive one.

• 51:10Speaker 07

  Massive.

• 51:10Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 51:11Speaker 07

  Massive, but a foot long, if at all possible. And, and very, very, very slender slices.

• 51:17Speaker 06

  Yeah, if, if the Hasselback potato comes along, I wanna see the seasoning on it. I want, I want there to be like, the more slices, the better.

• 51:23Speaker 07

  Yes.

• 51:24Speaker 06

  And I want there to be crispy little bits of seasoning all over.

• 51:27Speaker 07

  Those crystals of salt, not, not the kind of the miniscule, mingy table salt.

• 51:31Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 51:32Speaker 07

  You want some of that Himalayan pink salt.

• 51:34Speaker 06

  Yeah. Yeah.

• 51:35Speaker 07

  You know.

• 51:35Speaker 05

  Great big handfuls of it. Yeah.

• 51:37Speaker 07

  That's it, with the colour.

• 51:39Speaker 05

  So you're having Kerrygold butter in every little slit?

• 51:41Speaker 07

  Every single one, thank you.

• 51:43Speaker 05

  You can get a pack of butter in there.

• 51:44Speaker 07

  Easily. Oh, easy, that should be the, the, the dream.

• 51:47Speaker 05

  Yeah. Well, this is the dream.

• 51:48Speaker 06

  Is there a place where you've had the best Hasselback potatoes?

• 51:51Speaker 07

  Um, I know this is going to sound, and I'm really sorry, my husband is fantastic at this sort of thing.

• 51:56Speaker 05

  Make one tonight. This guy.

• 51:59Speaker 06

  Keep up with this guy.

• 52:00Speaker 05

  This guy's leaving me in the goddamn dust.

• 52:02Speaker 07

  No, it's, it's just, it's inspiration.

• 52:05Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 52:05Speaker 07

  Come on, tell us about some of the things you've made, please, come on.

• 52:08Speaker 06

  Yeah, come on, Ed.

• 52:09Speaker 05

  Chicken, I know, chicken.

• 52:10Speaker 07

  Say it again?

• 52:11Speaker 05

  Chicken.

• 52:11Speaker 07

  Chicken, what way?

• 52:13Speaker 05

  Roast.

• 52:13Speaker 07

  Roast chicken. You cannot beat a lovely roast chicken, so I'm told.

• 52:18Speaker 05

  Lamb, lamb.

• 52:19Speaker 07

  Lamb, so I, lamb can be lovely, so I'm told.

• 52:22Speaker 06

  Slow cooked lamb?

• 52:23Speaker 05

  Yes, like.

• 52:23Speaker 06

  What about some of your veggie stuff that Mary and me would like?

• 52:28Speaker 05

  Now you're asking.

• 52:30Speaker 05

  Um, oh, yeah, we talked, we talked with Mira Soder about it, loads from Mira Soder's book.

• 52:35Speaker 06

  The tomato curry.

• 52:36Speaker 05

  Tomato curry.

• 52:37Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 52:37Speaker 07

  Tomato curry?

• 52:38Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah.

• 52:39Speaker 07

  Tell me.

• 52:40Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 52:41Speaker 05

  It's tomato curry.

• 52:42Speaker 06

  How do you do it?

• 52:42Speaker 07

  Come on now, don't be shy now.

• 52:44Speaker 05

  It's quite a complicated recipe because you have to have two pans going at the same time and then mix them.

• 52:48Speaker 06

  There you go.

• 52:49Speaker 05

  But yeah.

• 52:49Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 52:50Speaker 05

  It's delicious.

• 52:50Speaker 06

  Not everyone can do that.

• 52:51Speaker 05

  Yeah, dan, dan, dan noodles.

• 52:53Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 52:54Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. A lot of tahini and black vinegar and soy.

• 52:57Speaker 07

  You're really good at this, aren't you? A lot of tahini. Oh god, tahini is the most wonderful thing.

• 53:01Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 53:01Speaker 07

  But to have two pans going at the same time, I mean, that's, that's elite stuff. Oh yeah.

• 53:06Speaker 05

  Could your husband do that?

• 53:07Speaker 07

  I don't think he can, you know. I don't think he can.

• 53:09Speaker 05

  He's a one pan, he's a one pan husband.

• 53:11Speaker 07

  One pan man, yeah. See, and you're a two pan man. You see?

• 53:15Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 53:15Speaker 07

  You're fabulous.

• 53:16Speaker 05

  Thank you. Thank you, Mary.

• 53:17Speaker 06

  If I, if I was a, if I, you know, I, I would trust a one pan man more than a two pan man.

• 53:22Speaker 05

  What are you talking about?

• 53:22Speaker 06

  I think, oh, one's not enough for this guy.

• 53:25Speaker 07

  No, I love the show of dexterity with the two pan man.

• 53:28Speaker 06

  I think he, this, a two pan man might get bored in a monogamous relationship.

• 53:32Speaker 05

  I'm a two pan man, one man band.

• 53:34Speaker 06

  Do you want David Hasselhoff there?

• 53:35Speaker 07

  Oh god, I'd really rather not. Do you mind?

• 53:40Speaker 07

  I was in a room with him once.

• 53:41Speaker 06

  Yeah?

• 53:42Speaker 07

  He was singing a song that was very odd.

• 53:44Speaker 06

  Is that the one about his car? Do you remember that one?

• 53:47Speaker 05

  Did he do that on the Berlin Wall?

• 53:49Speaker 06

  Did you on the Berlin Wall?

• 53:50Speaker 05

  Well, he played on, he played in Berlin the day the wall came down, right? Cause he's massive in Germany.

• 53:54Speaker 07

  He is massive in Germany, yeah. I shouldn't be mean about the chap. No, no, no, no, it's fine. I wish him well. I wish him well.

• 54:01Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 54:01Speaker 07

  But, um, no, I'm brand.

• 54:02Speaker 05

  He doesn't have to be there.

• 54:03Speaker 07

  No, just the potatoes themselves are fine. Yes.

• 54:06Speaker 06

  What was it? So he was singing one of his, one of his own songs in, in a room with you?

• 54:09Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 54:09Speaker 06

  Where was this room?

• 54:10Speaker 07

  Oh, it was a TV.

• 54:11Speaker 05

  Was it a gig? Did you go to a David Hasselhoff gig?

• 54:13Speaker 07

  Not. I thought we were friends.

• 54:18Speaker 07

  No, I was in a TV studio and we were on the, a, a show in Ireland.

• 54:23Speaker 05

  Hmm.

• 54:23Speaker 07

  Um, and then the show stopped running, you know, the camera stopped. It was the end.

• 54:28Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 54:28Speaker 07

  You know? And the next thing, he grabs a microphone and has some words with the band and he's up singing. And again, it was a hostage situation. It felt like.

• 54:38Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 54:38Speaker 07

  You know, that we were all trapped and we all had to kind of look delighted. And I just wanted to go home because I was tired, but I had to look delighted and wait for the song to end. Um. It was nothing against him in particular.

• 54:50Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 54:50Speaker 07

  It's just that I didn't grab the mic and have a word with the band and start singing.

• 54:54Speaker 06

  Yes.

• 54:54Speaker 07

  You know, you have to, you have to make it okay with people if you're going to do that, I think.

• 54:59Speaker 05

  And sense the vibe in the room.

• 55:00Speaker 07

  Read the room.

• 55:02Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 55:02Speaker 07

  The room was tired and wanted to go home.

• 55:05Speaker 06

  Did he think the audience was tired?

• 55:07Speaker 07

  Oh, no, that the audience were delighted. Maybe the audience were delighted.

• 55:10Speaker 06

  I think, I think with that stuff, like, I think that I would never do that, because I would think of it as like, like, you've already done your interview, James.

• 55:18Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 55:18Speaker 06

  You don't need them to pay even more attention to you. Just get over it.

• 55:21Speaker 05

  Also, it's self-awareness, isn't it?

• 55:22Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 55:23Speaker 05

  He should be thinking, I'm David Hasselhoff, I'm not Bruce Springsteen, maybe.

• 55:28Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 55:29Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 55:29Speaker 06

  He should remember that.

• 55:30Speaker 05

  Do people want to hear this now?

• 55:31Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 55:32Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 55:32Speaker 06

  But then I think, if I'm in the audience and I'm not in this world all the time.

• 55:37Speaker 05

  Hmm.

• 55:38Speaker 06

  And I've gone to see the TV show and I didn't know there'd be so much stopping and starting with the TV show.

• 55:43Speaker 07

  That's so true.

• 55:43Speaker 06

  And wait, wait a second, everyone. And the warm-up comes out again and you're there for hours. And then David Hasselhoff got up and sang with the band. I might be pretty delighted with it.

• 55:52Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 55:53Speaker 07

  Yeah, they probably were. And I'm just a curmudgeon.

• 55:56Speaker 06

  No, I don't, I, I, I'd feel the same as you. I'd be like, oh, fuck this guy. I'd be worse than you. But like.

• 56:02Speaker 07

  I think it's a really good point, though, yeah, that the audience probably were delighted.

• 56:06Speaker 06

  But then I'd think, if he thinks the audience would be delighted about this, even more egotistical.

• 56:11Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah.

• 56:11Speaker 07

  Yeah, but some people do. I mean, yeah, well, it takes all sorts.

• 56:16Speaker 06

  Hmm.

• 56:17Speaker 07

  See, and the thing is, Bruce probably wouldn't.

• 56:20Speaker 05

  No.

• 56:20Speaker 07

  Because Bruce is sound. Bruce knows who Bruce is. I love Bruce.

• 56:25Speaker 06

  He says, Bruce says the best places, the best place, his favourite place to gig in the world is Ireland.

• 56:30Speaker 07

  Bruce says?

• 56:30Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 56:31Speaker 07

  Stop it.

• 56:32Speaker 06

  Favourite place in the world to, to do shows. Did you know that?

• 56:34Speaker 07

  I didn't, but I'm, I'm very, very pleased.

• 56:38Speaker 06

  The boss.

• 56:41Speaker 05

  What would you do if you met David Hasselhoff and he turned around and he had loads of slits down his back and there was stuff with butter?

• 56:46Speaker 06

  And covered in big salt crystals.

• 56:48Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 56:48Speaker 07

  No, I'd leave him to it. Say, you do you, David. Good on you. Yeah.

• 56:52Speaker 06

  Imagine that, it's like seeing Baywatch where he's like running down the beach and then they show it from the back.

• 56:56Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 56:57Speaker 06

  And they go, what the fuck?

• 56:57Speaker 05

  Yeah, then he runs into the sea and it's the most painful thing in the world.

• 57:00Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 57:02Speaker 06

  Yeah, because he's all hassle backed his Hasselhoff.

• 57:04Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 57:05Speaker 07

  Yes, it could happen.

• 57:07Speaker 06

  Could happen.

• 57:10Speaker 08

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• 57:42Speaker 02

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• 58:17Speaker 06

  Your dream drink.

• 58:19Speaker 07

  Right. As I said, I don't drink. And this makes me sound so joyless, but I'm really happy with water. You see, when you don't drink and you say to the man, "Sorry, I'm fine, I don't drink", and then there's a kind of a weird moment and they're like, "What's wrong with her?" And, no, like always, you know, and then I have to say, "It's all right, I'm a recovering alcoholic", and then the, "Ohhhhh", you know, "He said it". And then, you see, because the poor feckers, like, they're trying to upsell, like I am no good to them with my, with my tap water. I mean, it doesn't have to be tap water, but whatever. And so they, "Oh, we can do some lovely mocktails for you", and I don't want a mocktail because I just, I'm happy with my water.

• 59:03Speaker 07

  But I usually let them do it because I don't want them to be down a tenner, you know, or whatever. So they usually make me something with ginger or what's that other thing? Rosemary. I'll say words. I'll say words or they might say words to me. And I don't really listen because this is a done deal, whatever is going to happen. You know, they're they're gonna make me a mocktail and I'm going to drink it or some of it anyway. So they would bring me a mocktail with things hanging out of it, like a sprig of rosemary or maybe like a, you know, some sort of branch, you know, part of an ash tree and and fruit, maybe some, a melon maybe or things that, you know, and.

• 59:39Speaker 05

  Whole melon.

• 59:40Speaker 07

  Yeah, a whole melon and a straw because I ask for a straw because you might as well. Like if you're doing it, do it properly. And so they would bring me it and I will drink it and but I have no interest in it. You know, but I will do it because I don't want them to be short.

• 59:56Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 59:56Speaker 07

  Of money. I don't want to be that, you know, because everybody comes in and they think they're gonna make X amount of money out of each person. And then suddenly you have like the non drinker and like suddenly all the calculations are thrown into disarray. So I know my role in the whole the the restaurant ecosystem. So, yeah, so I will have a mocktail, but I don't really care what it is. Because I'm only drinking it to be polite.

• 1:00:21Speaker 05

  Well, you don't need to do that at the dream restaurant.

• 1:00:22Speaker 07

  Okay, well, then I won't have any if that's okay with you. I'm happy with my water.

• 1:00:26Speaker 06

  I'll put the melon away. I'll put the ash tree away.

• 1:00:28Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:00:29Speaker 07

  Well, the ash tree might be nice in the water.

• 1:00:31Speaker 06

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:00:32Speaker 07

  Yeah, okay. Yeah, no, I'm really, really happy with the water. I mean, I know it sounds odd, but I like water.

• 1:00:38Speaker 06

  I think it's odd like, cause like you can get alcoholic drinks that aren't too sweet. Non alcoholic drinks are all pretty sweet. They don't really have ones that aren't.

• 1:00:47Speaker 07

  No.

• 1:00:48Speaker 06

  Crazy sweet. And you don't wanna be just constantly drinking sweet drinks all the time.

• 1:00:53Speaker 07

  Yeah, like I don't.

• 1:00:54Speaker 06

  Like it does do your head in. Whenever I have a break from alcohol, I'm like, these soft drinks are really like, this is getting ridiculous. How sweet all this stuff is.

• 1:01:02Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 1:01:02Speaker 06

  It's so sugary.

• 1:01:03Speaker 07

  Non alcoholic beers and wines that, do you drink them?

• 1:01:06Speaker 06

  I I haven't found a good one, um, really. And, uh, in the past, I've said on the podcast before, when people have sent me alcohol free stuff, um, I've chucked alcohol in there.

• 1:01:18Speaker 06

  Added whiskey to an alcohol free beer. Yes. That's one of the things I did during lockdown. One of the nicest drinks. I loved it, but I knew that I wasn't really playing the game. As it's intended to be played. Yeah, yeah. But yeah, I haven't found a good alcohol free beer. Have you?

• 1:01:32Speaker 07

  You see, I don't, I can't, like even anything that replicates the drinking experience isn't, uh, isn't good for me. So I don't, but I'm happy with my water.

• 1:01:41Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 1:01:42Speaker 05

  Well, this is, this is going to be your drink in the dream restaurant then.

• 1:01:45Speaker 07

  Thank you.

• 1:01:45Speaker 06

  So you're sticking with sparkling?

• 1:01:47Speaker 07

  Well, I change just to mix it up a bit. Yeah, after my main course, yeah, I'll go on to my dessert water. Yes, we'll have it still.

• 1:01:55Speaker 06

  Yeah. Do you want tap water at some point as well?

• 1:01:57Speaker 07

  Not really, to be honest. I mean, I do have kind of aspirations. Um, I would like it to be like proper mineral water. Would that be all right?

• 1:02:04Speaker 06

  Of course, of course it would be.

• 1:02:06Speaker 07

  Thank you.

• 1:02:07Speaker 06

  We did want tap to not get a shout out.

• 1:02:09Speaker 05

  A wedge of, a wedge of citrus?

• 1:02:11Speaker 07

  Oh God, some lime.

• 1:02:12Speaker 06

  Some lime.

• 1:02:13Speaker 07

  Some lime would be lovely. Some lemon, absolutely not.

• 1:02:16Speaker 06

  Really?

• 1:02:16Speaker 07

  There's a huge difference. I don't understand when people say they're the same. They're not.

• 1:02:20Speaker 06

  They're not the same.

• 1:02:20Speaker 05

  Who's saying they're the same?

• 1:02:21Speaker 07

  Loads of people.

• 1:02:22Speaker 05

  Yeah, well, they're ridiculous.

• 1:02:23Speaker 07

  You know, you ask for lime and they give you lemon. It's like, no.

• 1:02:27Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 1:02:27Speaker 07

  Lemon is cruel and harsh and lime is friendly and sweeter and just better.

• 1:02:35Speaker 06

  People, people think they're the same. So I went all high pitched there.

• 1:02:38Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:02:40Speaker 05

  What a wonderful moment to be here when your voice broke.

• 1:02:42Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 1:02:42Speaker 06

  Finally, it's happened. My voice broke.

• 1:02:46Speaker 05

  Maybe that pub was yours.

• 1:02:47Speaker 06

  I wish. That's next. Next I'll start growing. That's why it looks so big to me. I ain't got none. I never grown anything.

• 1:02:55Speaker 07

  Nothing to compare it to.

• 1:02:55Speaker 06

  Nothing to compare it to. I was like, what a huge pub. And everyone else was like, it's pretty normal.

• 1:03:00Speaker 07

  Normal size.

• 1:03:01Speaker 06

  It's pretty normal size.

• 1:03:04Speaker 05

  Normal size pub.

• 1:03:05Speaker 06

  Oh yeah, I meant normal.

• 1:03:09Speaker 06

  Trying to pretend.

• 1:03:11Speaker 06

  Well, that's one of my, I mean, I've said this on the podcast before a number of times, but I always like telling guests, one of my earliest bits of comedy material was I used to go on stage and say, hey, do you remember when you, you didn't have pubes yet, but you told everyone at school that you did and it got nothing.

• 1:03:24Speaker 07

  A deadly silence.

• 1:03:24Speaker 06

  Nothing every time. I thought it was a, a world.

• 1:03:27Speaker 07

  That's a real, I, I would have thought that was a great icebreaker.

• 1:03:30Speaker 06

  I thought it was an observation. I thought it was universal. I thought we all lied about them in pubes.

• 1:03:33Speaker 05

  But it's still a good bit because it tells the audience something about you rather than being a universal observation.

• 1:03:38Speaker 06

  It wasn't something they wanted to know, I don't think.

• 1:03:39Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:03:40Speaker 06

  You know.

• 1:03:40Speaker 07

  They were just too ashamed to admit it.

• 1:03:42Speaker 06

  Yeah. Do you put things into your books sometimes where you think everyone does this? This is a universal. And then you discover when a book, the book comes out, maybe in interviews, oh, that was just me.

• 1:03:51Speaker 07

  What's that all about? Yeah, that's mortifying.

• 1:03:54Speaker 06

  Are you able to just be like, well, that was the character?

• 1:03:56Speaker 07

  Yeah, that was exactly, that's exactly what I say. Yeah. I mean, they develop a life of their own, I say. I mean, I'm, I'm really not responsible for most of their actions or words.

• 1:04:12Speaker 06

  We arrive at your dream dessert. Now, I feel quite good about this because you said earlier that, you know, anything, anything chocolatey yew all over it. So I know that we're going to have a sweet dessert. We're not going to have anything sat there just like a cheese board.

• 1:04:25Speaker 07

  Okay. No, God, no, no, not a cheese board at all. Okay. It's an unusual one. It's the trifle that my mother makes. And the only thing is she only makes it once a year now and she makes it at Christmas and she puts sherry into it just to be cruel so that I can't have it. So I would like to have the, the trifle without the sherry. I mean, they have about 40 desserts at Christmas, all of them, and they're all langers by 10 o'clock in the morning. And like, and I come and like, I am in good form. I'm completely sober and, and they won't even let me have one thing, the trifle for me. So that's what I'd like. I would like to have my mother's trifle specially made for me.

• 1:05:09Speaker 05

  Yeah. What would be a good, there, there must be a good replacement for the sherry in there, like a non-alcoholic replacement.

• 1:05:15Speaker 06

  Surely.

• 1:05:16Speaker 07

  Yeah, like fruit juice or something like that. It's not, I mean, they're all so drunk, it doesn't matter. They can't taste it anyway. But she just does it to be. Defiant.

• 1:05:26Speaker 05

  Hmm.

• 1:05:26Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 1:05:26Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 1:05:27Speaker 05

  And also, it's like, in her mind, she makes this thing every year.

• 1:05:31Speaker 07

  Yeah, it's her, it's her special thing.

• 1:05:33Speaker 05

  Why would she change it?

• 1:05:34Speaker 07

  Yeah, and she only makes one thing a year now, you know. But yeah, that's what I'd like. I'd love it because I miss it because it's like really delicious and really comforting. Like, you know, there's, God, I love custard, you know, and I love cream and jelly. And like all the things, the cake, everything. I would really, really like it. And then maybe some chocolate sauce.

• 1:05:56Speaker 06

  Oh, yeah, put, put just drizzled on top of it.

• 1:05:58Speaker 07

  Yes, yes.

• 1:05:59Speaker 06

  What's your favourite element of the trifle?

• 1:06:02Speaker 07

  The custard. Oh, yeah, sorry.

• 1:06:03Speaker 06

  No, go on. I'll, I'll, I'll ask the next question afterwards because I want to hear about the custard first.

• 1:06:08Speaker 07

  I, I mean, I love, love, love. It's the ultimate comfort food.

• 1:06:12Speaker 06

  Mm hmm.

• 1:06:12Speaker 07

  Um, set custard, runny custard, hot custard, cold custard, any custard.

• 1:06:18Speaker 06

  Hmm.

• 1:06:19Speaker 07

  Yeah, it's just really, really nice.

• 1:06:21Speaker 06

  And if you could be an, any element of the trifle, which element would you be? Maybe it's the one that you relate to the most. Maybe it's one you aspirationally would like to be.

• 1:06:32Speaker 07

  Okay, I'd like to be the cream, I think, especially, you know, that squirty cream that comes out of a can.

• 1:06:36Speaker 06

  Yes.

• 1:06:37Speaker 07

  You see, like, the way it would go on the top of the trifle, it would look kind of very decorative immediately. You're not just like putting it on with a spoon and then trying to smooth the surface and all. You're already getting peaks and valleys and it looks like a snow place. I'd like that.

• 1:06:51Speaker 05

  You'd like to be the cream?

• 1:06:52Speaker 07

  I would like to be the cream because it is superficially attractive.

• 1:06:56Speaker 06

  So, let's see if this.

• 1:06:57Speaker 05

  It's the psychopath of the trifle.

• 1:06:58Speaker 07

  It's the psychopath aspect, yes, exactly.

• 1:07:01Speaker 06

  We've had guests choose trifle before.

• 1:07:03Speaker 07

  Have you?

• 1:07:04Speaker 06

  Harry Hill, Jamie Oliver, Jamali Maddox, um, and some other ones.

• 1:07:08Speaker 07

  Can you just remember this off the top of your head?

• 1:07:09Speaker 05

  Yeah, this is insane. I can't remember this.

• 1:07:11Speaker 06

  Remember those three?

• 1:07:12Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:07:13Speaker 06

  Uh, I'm, I'm Andrew Iannucci.

• 1:07:15Speaker 07

  Stop it, no!

• 1:07:16Speaker 06

  Steve Coogan, Asma Khan, Amy Gliddon.

• 1:07:18Speaker 07

  Oh, my God.

• 1:07:19Speaker 06

  So normally.

• 1:07:20Speaker 07

  I'm in good company here.

• 1:07:21Speaker 05

  Yeah, you are. That's very, very good company, yeah.

• 1:07:23Speaker 06

  I'd ask people that if they were layered up like a trifle with the other people who had chosen the trifle.

• 1:07:28Speaker 07

  Mm hmm.

• 1:07:29Speaker 06

  What order would they be layered up?

• 1:07:31Speaker 05

  It's quite a weird pervert question.

• 1:07:33Speaker 06

  Yeah. Who would you want to be in between? If I layered all those people up like a trifle, including yourself.

• 1:07:38Speaker 05

  But Marion's the cream, so she's on top.

• 1:07:40Speaker 07

  No, no, I'm willing to change. Okay, I'm fierce fond of Steve Coogan. And I can't pronounce his name.

• 1:07:50Speaker 06

  Amanda Iannucci.

• 1:07:51Speaker 07

  Yeah, I love his work. I just think he's, I think they're both so clever. I'd be delighted to be a sandwich.

• 1:07:59Speaker 06

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:07:59Speaker 07

  Uh, with them.

• 1:08:00Speaker 06

  They do a lot of projects together, so they might be talking across you about a project they've got. They did, they've just done Doctor Strange of on the West End. They do Partridge together.

• 1:08:11Speaker 07

  Right, I see, I see.

• 1:08:12Speaker 06

  Are you gonna be able to put up with that if they're either side of you throwing back and forth ideas?

• 1:08:16Speaker 07

  I'd love it. I would find it so interesting. I'd be honoured. And like, I don't have to say anything. I can just be there. I can be like, I don't know, a thin layer of jelly. You know, I don't mind. I know my place in the ecosystem. Like, I'd be delighted.

• 1:08:32Speaker 05

  I think they'd be delighted as well.

• 1:08:34Speaker 06

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:08:34Speaker 05

  So you want this trifle, but without the sherry?

• 1:08:37Speaker 07

  Yes, thanks.

• 1:08:37Speaker 05

  We, we know your husband's in the building.

• 1:08:39Speaker 07

  Yes.

• 1:08:40Speaker 05

  Shout out. He will now surely, as your personal chef, be plotting, making a trifle recipe without the sherry. And if he did that, would you enjoy it as much as your mother's trifle?

• 1:08:51Speaker 07

  Probably not, to be honest. And this is no shade on him. It's just because it kind of, it's a substitute for love. And yeah, it would feel like love if my mother made it. My mother is a school of tough love kind of love person. Yeah. And she mostly shows her love to me by suggesting I go to the doctor. And, and it's funny because, yeah, like, you know, with all the books and everything, it's, it's kind of not anything that she's interested in. But anytime I have a cough or anything like that, she's, oh Marion, you have a cough. Do you want to go to the doctor with that? And I think, oh God, that's lovely. Go on, say.

• 1:09:30Speaker 07

  You know, so that should be nice to me. So yeah, but having the trifle would feel like another version of that. So yeah, yeah, it's not really about the trifle. It's not about the trifle at all, you know.

• 1:09:42Speaker 06

  You get enough love. Your husband.

• 1:09:44Speaker 07

  Yeah, he loves me anyway. I know.

• 1:09:46Speaker 06

  There's no substitute needed.

• 1:09:47Speaker 07

  Yeah, no, exactly. Whereas my mother, I would love that.

• 1:09:50Speaker 06

  Yeah. Well, there you go. See, that was Ed there trying to set your husband up for failure because he's feeling so.

• 1:09:56Speaker 05

  I think it was. I think it was just, I thought it was a good question.

• 1:09:59Speaker 06

  It feels like he's in competition with your husband. He wants to try and take him down.

• 1:10:03Speaker 07

  Family dynamics and the psychology of the relationship. What does the trifle actually represent?

• 1:10:10Speaker 05

  And we got to the bottom of it.

• 1:10:12Speaker 07

  Love.

• 1:10:13Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:10:13Speaker 06

  He's trying to take him down.

• 1:10:14Speaker 05

  A husband can't offer a mother's love.

• 1:10:18Speaker 07

  That man is a genius. You need a podcast doing that sort of thing on, you know.

• 1:10:22Speaker 05

  Something a bit more serious.

• 1:10:23Speaker 06

  He's quite, he's quite.

• 1:10:24Speaker 07

  Yeah, yeah. A different podcast to this one, which is magnificent, but another one where you would also be magnificent, talking about family dynamics and love what people really want, what people mean when they say, or what they're asking for when they ask for something, what they're really asking for.

• 1:10:40Speaker 05

  And it's going to be called Mummy's Trifle.

• 1:10:42Speaker 07

  Oh yeah, that's beautiful. Yeah.

• 1:10:45Speaker 06

  You should do it together. Do you do it?

• 1:10:49Speaker 07

  Ask somebody, not me.

• 1:10:50Speaker 06

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:10:51Speaker 07

  No, no, you, you work that out all by yourself. You create that role for yourself all by yourself.

• 1:10:57Speaker 06

  I would love Ed to do a very serious podcast about families.

• 1:10:59Speaker 05

  Will you, do you produce it, Benito?

• 1:11:01Speaker 06

  It's changing his head.

• 1:11:02Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:11:05Speaker 06

  I'll read your menu back to you now. See how you feel about it.

• 1:11:07Speaker 07

  Thank you.

• 1:11:08Speaker 06

  You would like sparkling water. You would like tree glen Guinness bread warm from the Hotel Europe in Kildare. Sorry, I burped into the microphone with Kerry bold butter. I'll read that again.

• 1:11:18Speaker 05

  You can't, you can't be on Mummy's Trifle.

• 1:11:20Speaker 06

  Why would I not be on Mummy's Trifle?

• 1:11:22Speaker 05

  You can't burp during Mummy's Trifle.

• 1:11:23Speaker 06

  But you've got to be a serious and.

• 1:11:25Speaker 07

  Yeah, but you could assess what.

• 1:11:26Speaker 06

  Empathetic guest.

• 1:11:27Speaker 05

  What does that burp mean?

• 1:11:28Speaker 07

  What does the burp mean? What are you trying to say? What, what in your body needs to come out?

• 1:11:32Speaker 06

  Yeah, what was it that I was struggling with there?

• 1:11:35Speaker 05

  Well, they're all the words are in the queue.

• 1:11:36Speaker 06

  Because I had to say the word Europe and it reminded me of Brexit and I got all upset.

• 1:11:39Speaker 07

  Oh, you see, you see. Look where we are.

• 1:11:41Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 1:11:42Speaker 07

  This got very deep, very fast.

• 1:11:44Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 1:11:45Speaker 07

  Thanks to Dr. Ed.

• 1:11:47Speaker 06

  He didn't do anything.

• 1:11:50Speaker 05

  You think I didn't do anything?

• 1:11:51Speaker 07

  Uh huh. You're the facilitator. Yeah. It's the facilitator's job to just be kind of invisible.

• 1:11:56Speaker 05

  Yes.

• 1:11:57Speaker 06

  Yeah. Starter, you would like your husband's tomato ricotta salad, but it's not ricotta, it's manchego. With coriander seeds and lemon oil. Main course, you would like roast butternut squash with chickpea stew. And razza, razl?

• 1:12:10Speaker 07

  Hanush.

• 1:12:10Speaker 06

  Hanush from Woodruff in Dublin. Side dish, your husband's Hasselback potatoes with Kerrygold again making a second appearance. Drink, happy with still water at this time, uh with lime, with a wedge of lime. Dessert, your mother's trifle without the sherry with some chocolate sauce drizzled over it.

• 1:12:29Speaker 07

  Perfect. Thank you so much.

• 1:12:31Speaker 05

  That's a lovely, lovely menu.

• 1:12:32Speaker 06

  That does sound nice. That sounds very tasty. I'd eat that.

• 1:12:35Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:12:36Speaker 06

  I'd eat it. Can we request that, um, you work into one of your books like a character having that meal? And then just as a little Easter egg for, for fans?

• 1:12:45Speaker 07

  Yes, I can try.

• 1:12:46Speaker 06

  Of this episode?

• 1:12:47Speaker 07

  Okay, I can try. I can try.

• 1:12:49Speaker 06

  So it could just be, yeah, and then they ate this and this.

• 1:12:52Speaker 05

  You know, you know what's happening now is the exact discussion we talked about that you have with your editors.

• 1:12:57Speaker 07

  Yes.

• 1:12:58Speaker 05

  That's happening now. Could you work that into your book and you've gone, yeah, yeah, I'll try. Yeah, yeah. Never gonna happen.

• 1:13:03Speaker 06

  Yeah, and I've gone home feeling great.

• 1:13:04Speaker 07

  Probably not going to happen yet, in all honesty. Yes.

• 1:13:09Speaker 07

  But thank you for asking.

• 1:13:10Speaker 06

  Yeah, it's a pleasure.

• 1:13:13Speaker 05

  Now, now you're, you're asking is the name of it.

• 1:13:16Speaker 07

  You are asking.

• 1:13:16Speaker 06

  Now I'm asking.

• 1:13:17Speaker 07

  No, he was asking. Yes.

• 1:13:19Speaker 06

  I'm gonna do my own podcast. If Ed's gone off and doing his own one, I'm gonna do my one called Now I'm Asking.

• 1:13:23Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:13:23Speaker 06

  Where I ask the questions that I want you to answer on your podcast.

• 1:13:26Speaker 07

  Okay.

• 1:13:27Speaker 06

  So it's just me asking questions for an hour.

• 1:13:29Speaker 07

  Okay.

• 1:13:30Speaker 06

  And I'll, I'll put that out every week. Yeah, I'll listen to yours and see if.

• 1:13:34Speaker 07

  And see if, yeah, if we can, okay.

• 1:13:37Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:13:37Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 1:13:37Speaker 05

  And you'll answer a third of them. And James knows that, which is why he asks many times as many, yeah.

• 1:13:43Speaker 07

  Exactly. Yeah. So we all understand what's really going on.

• 1:13:48Speaker 06

  Can't wait. Top of the podcast charts.

• 1:13:49Speaker 05

  Top of the charts.

• 1:13:50Speaker 06

  Number two under mummy's trifle.

• 1:13:53Speaker 05

  Mary Anne, thank you so much for coming to the dream restaurant.

• 1:13:55Speaker 07

  So much fun. Thank you for having me. It was great.

• 1:14:04Speaker 05

  Well, there we are, James. What a wonderful episode.

• 1:14:06Speaker 06

  Wonderful menu, wonderful stories. Um, yeah, I loved it. I mean, also, I liked talking about Now You're Asking.

• 1:14:15Speaker 05

  Yes.

• 1:14:15Speaker 06

  The podcast that Marion does with Tara Flynn and very much looking forward to The Walsh Sisters coming out, the BBC drama.

• 1:14:22Speaker 05

  Keep an eye out because they're filming it now. We don't have a date, so.

• 1:14:25Speaker 06

  They're filming it now as we're, as we're talking, they're filming it in Dublin, so.

• 1:14:29Speaker 05

  Of course, go and get your copy of My Favourite Mistake.

• 1:14:32Speaker 06

  Yes, absolutely.

• 1:14:34Speaker 05

  And we can talk about all that stuff because Marion didn't say to Minto.

• 1:14:37Speaker 06

  Didn't say to Minto, so we didn't have to kick her out of the restaurant, of course. And we had a lovely chat with her husband afterwards, who we'd heard so much about in the episode. And Ed was holding on to him and going, "Teach me."

• 1:14:49Speaker 05

  Teach me your ways.

• 1:14:49Speaker 06

  "I want to be like you."

• 1:14:51Speaker 05

  "I want to, I want to cook more."

• 1:14:52Speaker 06

  Yeah, "I want to cook more. How do you do it?"

• 1:14:54Speaker 05

  Yes.

• 1:14:55Speaker 06

  Um, are you gonna cook that, are you gonna make that salad, Ed?

• 1:14:57Speaker 05

  Yeah, I think so. I need to go and find some really good tomatoes.

• 1:14:59Speaker 06

  Achievable, yeah.

• 1:15:00Speaker 05

  I need to go and, I, I mean, I'm so bad at knowing when the seasons are for things.

• 1:15:04Speaker 06

  Yeah, sure.

• 1:15:05Speaker 05

  When are the tomatoes good?

• 1:15:06Speaker 06

  When are the heritage tomatoes?

• 1:15:08Speaker 05

  Yeah, baby.

• 1:15:09Speaker 06

  They are the best, but they look so great.

• 1:15:11Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:15:11Speaker 06

  I know exactly how Marion described it. I was like, "Oh, yeah."

• 1:15:13Speaker 05

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:15:14Speaker 06

  "I want one of those right now."

• 1:15:15Speaker 05

  Oh, baby.

• 1:15:16Speaker 06

  Oh, baby.

• 1:15:17Speaker 05

  I want a tomato that's so good, you can eat it like an apple.

• 1:15:19Speaker 06

  Yeah, that would be good. Eat it like a little apple walking around. Did you, would you walk around in public eating that like an apple?

• 1:15:24Speaker 05

  Maybe not. It'd be quite messy, I think, to.

• 1:15:27Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 1:15:27Speaker 05

  It's difficult to eat it. An apple and the rest of the hand fruits are, that you can walk, they're portable, right?

• 1:15:33Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 1:15:34Speaker 05

  And then you throw away the core.

• 1:15:35Speaker 06

  For, not, not everyone does.

• 1:15:37Speaker 05

  Not everyone. People eat the core. We've talked about it before.

• 1:15:39Speaker 06

  People eat the core and like, but I also, I, it's been a while since I've heard the more referred to as hand fruits and it was very nice to hear that.

• 1:15:47Speaker 05

  I, I think it's a bit in Family Guy, you know, and it's just really stuck with me. Something about a strawberry, strawberry being so big.

• 1:15:53Speaker 06

  Forgot you love, you love Family Guy.

• 1:15:54Speaker 05

  Eat it like a ha, a hand fruit. First two seasons.

• 1:15:57Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 1:15:58Speaker 05

  Blew me away. Stand by it. But I think I was the right age for it then as well.

• 1:16:02Speaker 06

  Yeah, no, it's funny. It's talking, baby.

• 1:16:04Speaker 05

  Yeah. Come on. People forget that when that came out, that was wild.

• 1:16:09Speaker 06

  Yeah, we talked about talking baby earlier in this episode.

• 1:16:12Speaker 05

  The Simpsons didn't dare make that baby talk.

• 1:16:14Speaker 06

  No, no.

• 1:16:14Speaker 05

  Family Guy, they're crossing the line.

• 1:16:16Speaker 06

  They were stuck trying to think of what do we do with this?

• 1:16:18Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:16:18Speaker 06

  Non-talking baby we've got. Family Guy, whole character.

• 1:16:21Speaker 05

  Give it a voice.

• 1:16:22Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 1:16:22Speaker 05

  Thank you to Marion and we will be back next week.

• 1:16:25Speaker 06

  We will be back next week.

• 1:16:41Speaker 00

  I'm Jake Stauk, co-founder and CEO of Serval. We built Serval to automate the IT work that slows companies down. Onboarding, password resets, access to applications, my laptop stopped working. While employees wait for help, their real work is put on hold. IT desperately wants to automate this work and that's why they need Serval. You just tell Serval what you want to automate in plain English and it's built. No drag and drop workflows, no expensive consultants. Employees get unblocked and IT teams go from drowning in tickets to building what actually matters. With Serval, IT becomes the AI engine powering the entire company. This is a new way to run IT.

• 1:17:23Speaker 00

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• 1:17:38Speaker 10

  Welcome to 215 Maple Drive. We just put this property on the market. Love the crown molding. Oh, wait until you see the walk-in closets and the bathroom tile. Does it have Verizon FiOS? You know, 100% fiber internet. No FiOS, but it looks like it's got cable. Let's check out the kitchen. No FiOS? Yeah, no thank you. Don't you want to see the rest? Okay, bye-bye.

• 1:18:03Speaker 02

  Get Verizon FiOS because when you're moving, it's 100% or nothing.

• 1:18:07Speaker 09

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  Again?

• 1:18:11Speaker 09

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