Pod Insights Off Menu with Ed Gamble and James Acaster Joy Crookes About this episode Mercury Prize and Brit Award-nominated singer-songwriter Joy Crookes is in the Dream Restaurant this week. But can she make Ed and James understand the concept of a performative male?
Joy Crookes’s new album ‘Juniper’ is out now. Buy it and listen to it here https://www.joycrookes.com/.
Joy Crookes is on tour now. For dates and tickets go to joycrookes.com https://www.joycrookes.com/tour/
Follow Joy Crookes on Instagram @joycrookes https://www.instagram.com/joycrookes and TikTok @joycrookesmusic https://www.tiktok.com/@joycrookesmusic
Watch the video version of this episode on the Off Menu YouTube https://www.youtube.com/@offmenupodcast on Thu 13 Nov
Off Menu is now on YouTube: @offmenupodcast https://www.youtube.com/@offmenupodcast
Follow Off Menu on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/offmenuofficial and TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@offmenuofficial: @offmenuofficial.
And go to our website www.offmenupodcast.co.uk https://www.offmenupodcast.co.uk/ for a list of restaurants recommended on the show.
Off Menu is a comedy podcast hosted by Ed Gamble and James Acaster.
Produced, recorded and edited by Ben Williams for Plosive https://www.plosive.co.uk/.
Video production by Megan McCarthy for Plosive https://www.plosive.co.uk/, and Pippa Young.
Artwork by Paul Gilbey https://www.instagram.com/pushgilbey/ (photography and design).
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy https://acast.com/privacy for more information.
Transcript 16,768 words · 3 speakers
0:12 Speaker 00 Welcome to the Off Menu Podcast, taking the Malteser of conversation, sucking off the chocolate of bad vibes and letting the friendship melt across your tongue. You didn't like that, James?
0:24 Speaker 01 No. Ed Gamble there.
0:25 Speaker 00 Off Menu Podcast.
0:26 Speaker 01 My name is James Acaster, that is Ed Gamble. Ugly, ugly dude, neighborinos.
0:31 Speaker 00 God's sake.
0:32 Speaker 01 What?
0:33 Speaker 00 Why are you being Flanders again?
0:35 Speaker 01 I thought it'd be a good thing to start doing. I think the longer this podcast goes on for, I think the more we have to like bring in new things that we do that like running jokes.
0:47 Speaker 00 I agree, but it's not, why, because you've done this for another podcast today, which has been out already.
0:52 Speaker 01 Yeah.
0:53 Speaker 00 But I guarantee you will forget the next time we record to be Flanders.
0:57 Speaker 01 Well, you know, a bit of fun for the listeners.
0:59 Speaker 00 Well, they'll be able to tell because these go on YouTube now, so you'll be wearing the same thing.
1:04 Speaker 01 Yeah, that's a good point.
1:06 Speaker 00 Yeah.
1:07 Speaker 01 I mean, I think, you know, if people work out which two episodes we record on the same day, Benito will send us on chopping.
1:12 Speaker 00 Oh yeah, good point. That's a good new running idea.
1:15 Speaker 01 Yeah, we can do that.
1:16 Speaker 00 Yeah. Hey, Benito, don't have a cow, man.
1:18 Speaker 01 That is Ed Gamble. My name is James Acaster.
1:21 Speaker 00 But isn't that but?
1:22 Speaker 01 Yeah. Together we own a dream restaurant and every single week we invite a guest and ask their favourite ever, start a make or dessert, side dish and drink. And this week our guest is Joy Crooks.
1:32 Speaker 00 Joy Crooks, a very talented musician, singer and producer and all of these businesses, James.
1:40 Speaker 01 All of these businesses. I saw Joy at Glastonbury.
1:43 Speaker 00 Yes.
1:44 Speaker 01 Absolutely fantastic set. One of the most talked about sets at Glastonbury, I would say.
1:48 Speaker 00 By you or by everyone?
1:49 Speaker 01 By everyone. I mean, when I was at the festival, a lot of people were saying that was one of the best things they've seen. And then you come out of the festival and you see all the press and all the stuff about it. And it was coming up all the time there as well. So, you know, I think.
2:02 Speaker 00 You wouldn't catch me going to that place, but I'm glad, I'm happy for Joy and I'm excited to talk to her.
2:07 Speaker 01 Yep. And for the listener, Andy finds it impossible to hear about Glastonbury without having to assert that he wouldn't go.
2:14 Speaker 00 Well, as everyone, I think, who wouldn't go to Glastonbury.
2:17 Speaker 01 Yeah.
2:17 Speaker 00 It's like, it's a reflex.
2:18 Speaker 01 They have to go. I would never go to that.
2:20 Speaker 00 It's very boring, but I think we all do it.
2:22 Speaker 01 I like it.
2:23 Speaker 00 Yeah.
2:23 Speaker 01 I like it.
2:23 Speaker 00 I would not go.
2:24 Speaker 01 Joy's new album, Juniper, is out now, so make sure you listen to that when you ask Joy about it as well. But listen, we love Joy Crooks, but if Joy says the secret ingredient, an ingredient which we deem to be unacceptable, we'll have to kick her out of the dream restaurant. And this week, the secret ingredient is almond joy.
2:42 Speaker 00 Almond joy. You've picked this one, James. Obviously, Joy.
2:44 Speaker 01 It's a chocolate bar in America.
2:46 Speaker 00 Yeah.
2:46 Speaker 01 It's basically like a bounty for
2:47 Speaker 00 Yes.
2:48 Speaker 01 the UK listeners, which is most of you.
2:50 Speaker 00 Yep.
2:50 Speaker 01 But, uh, it's got the word joy in it. That's
2:53 Speaker 00 Yeah, it's simple.
2:54 Speaker 01 Simply all, all the thought I've put into it there.
2:56 Speaker 00 Done. Why does it say Toast on this press release? The PR, your dog is the PR for Joy Crooks?
3:02 Speaker 01 Your dog started doing PR?
3:04 Speaker 00 Man.
3:05 Speaker 01 Oh, no. I don't, I don't know how good Toast is gonna be at PR.
3:09 Speaker 00 We're gonna end up interviewing like a ball.
3:11 Speaker 01 Yeah, well, oh, Benito, we're gonna end up interviewing a ball.
3:16 Speaker 00 What would, if a dog was a PR, who would they get on?
3:19 Speaker 01 A ball?
3:20 Speaker 00 A ball. And a bone? And a cat they've chased into the studio?
3:24 Speaker 01 A postie.
3:24 Speaker 00 Yeah, a postie.
3:26 Speaker 01 You should speak to the postie. Get you the postie. That, that guy's doing so well at the moment. And it would just be a trap for the postie, wouldn't it?
3:34 Speaker 00 It'd be a trap for the postie.
3:35 Speaker 01 Yeah, and Toast gets him when he comes in the studio. I should be in the studio for the postie. You should let me in. I should be there. Make sure, make sure I forgot smoothly. You guys, you guys should speak to my favourite food.
3:47 Speaker 01 Toast is such a crazy PR, but does represent Joy Crooks.
3:50 Speaker 00 Yeah, well, well done.
3:51 Speaker 01 It does come good sometimes.
3:53 Speaker 01 Yeah. So that's good.
3:55 Speaker 00 This episode will be on YouTube tomorrow.
3:57 Speaker 01 Yeah, people can see us in front of the Richard and Judy kind of set that Benito's built in the studio.
4:03 Speaker 00 If Toast signs off on the video.
4:05 Speaker 01 Yeah, Toast has to sign off.
4:07 Speaker 00 Yeah.
4:07 Speaker 01 He's very strict as a PR rep.
4:09 Speaker 00 Yes.
4:09 Speaker 01 Agent.
4:10 Speaker 00 Yeah.
4:10 Speaker 01 Uh, so hopefully he'll sign off on it. It'll be okay.
4:13 Speaker 00 He has to come in to do that though, because he can't use the online one.
4:17 Speaker 01 Yeah. Is there a pause?
4:18 Speaker 00 Yeah.
4:19 Speaker 01 Yeah, yeah. Yeah, he has to come in.
4:20 Speaker 00 He's a dog, for goodness sake.
4:22 Speaker 01 Oh, I don't, yeah, yeah. I'll sign off on this. Who can go on the internet? Have you given any more thought to the postie episode and the ball, please?
4:29 Speaker 00 This is the off-menu menu of Joy Crooks.
4:40 Speaker 00 Welcome Joy to the dream restaurant.
4:42 Speaker 02 Thanks.
4:44 Speaker 01 Welcome Joy Crooks to the dream restaurant for spending even some time.
4:48 Speaker 02 How's it going?
4:49 Speaker 00 Good.
4:50 Speaker 01 We only just, you were commenting on the cameras before we started and I've only just like, that bit there that I just did.
4:57 Speaker 02 Yeah.
4:58 Speaker 01 I was a lot more comfortable doing that when we weren't being filmed every single time. And I knew people weren't going to watch full episodes and see me do it.
5:04 Speaker 02 Right.
5:04 Speaker 01 Because in the past, like they can just imagine me bursting out of a lamp like a genie. But now they're seeing me just doing that and it's a bit more embarrassing.
5:12 Speaker 02 I feel like I'm just in a state of shock because you were both really subdued when I walked in and that just really felt like.
5:19 Speaker 00 Yeah, we turn it on for the cameras.
5:20 Speaker 02 Yeah, well, no, it's not a bad thing, you know, you have to sometimes.
5:23 Speaker 00 You've got to conserve some energy, Joy.
5:24 Speaker 02 That really, really shocked me. Wow. Hello.
5:29 Speaker 01 Sometimes we have had to warn people, had to warn Ed Sheeran.
5:31 Speaker 02 Yeah, but you would have to warn Ed Sheeran, wouldn't you? He has a pond you can swim in.
5:36 Speaker 00 Does he? He's got a pond?
5:37 Speaker 02 Yeah. He's got like one of them, like, I call them the billionaire ponds. Because it's basically a pond that they've, they've now rebranded ponds to look like posh swimming pools. Because you can swim in them.
5:47 Speaker 00 But they've got like algae in them and stuff.
5:49 Speaker 02 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
5:50 Speaker 00 Yeah, I know someone who's got a billionaire's pond.
5:52 Speaker 02 That's, it really like blows my mind how you can just rebrand things, you know? Like a pond, algae, but now that a billionaire owns it, it's okay.
6:00 Speaker 01 Didn't know about this. Like Mr. Darcy?
6:02 Speaker 02 Well, yeah, I mean, it kind of, it's a bit E. coli-ish, isn't it?
6:06 Speaker 00 I wouldn't, I, I went to a party at someone's house and he had that pond.
6:10 Speaker 02 Did everyone leave with E. coli?
6:11 Speaker 00 Well, possibly, but I mean, I didn't because they were like, and later on in the party, I hope you brought your trunks, we're all going to go for a swim. Like, I'm not going for a.
6:18 Speaker 02 Definitely have leeches.
6:19 Speaker 00 Swim at a party, thank you.
6:20 Speaker 02 They have leeches.
6:20 Speaker 00 Yeah.
6:21 Speaker 02 There's no doubt.
6:22 Speaker 00 It's full of leeches.
6:23 Speaker 02 Yeah. I pulled a leech off someone once because I didn't know you meant to put salt on it.
6:27 Speaker 01 Oh, yeah.
6:28 Speaker 00 Okay, what year was this?
6:30 Speaker 02 Lot, two years ago.
6:31 Speaker 00 Leeches, two years ago?
6:33 Speaker 02 Yeah, Canada. They've got snapping turtles as well.
6:36 Speaker 00 Yeah.
6:36 Speaker 02 Just like aggro turtles.
6:38 Speaker 00 Mm hmm.
6:38 Speaker 02 Which is a bit weird, but I didn't get on the wrong side of them. That was okay. But basically a mate like walks out of a big lake.
6:44 Speaker 00 Yeah.
6:44 Speaker 02 There's loads of lakes there. In fact, more lakes than ever, I think.
6:47 Speaker 00 Yeah, they love lakes. They love it.
6:49 Speaker 02 But isn't that like one of the most lake-filled places in the world?
6:52 Speaker 00 Yeah.
6:53 Speaker 01 Yeah.
6:53 Speaker 02 Lake-filled.
6:54 Speaker 00 Big time. Yeah, yeah.
6:55 Speaker 02 Um, this is how you know I call geography advanced colouring in this. But she just walked out of this lake.
7:01 Speaker 00 Yeah.
7:01 Speaker 02 And she had a leech on her foot and I saw it because you know, you walk out of the weird ladder thing. And I was behind her and I thought, oh God, you shouldn't have that on you. And I just went and yanked it off.
7:12 Speaker 00 Yeah.
7:12 Speaker 02 But you're not meant to do that is what the Canadians tell me.
7:15 Speaker 00 Because they're sucking, they're sucking blood, right?
7:17 Speaker 02 I don't know. I just was like, you're not meant to be there, mate. You're not paying rent, all right? That's not your foot. And then I didn't put the salt on and I just pulled it off.
7:25 Speaker 00 Yeah. Was it painful?
7:27 Speaker 02 Well, it wasn't her. It was on someone else. I didn't really know her that well either. And just pulled her. I said, oh God, and then just chucked it back in.
7:35 Speaker 00 Yeah.
7:36 Speaker 02 Didn't go for me though.
7:38 Speaker 00 See, I didn't know you were supposed to put salt on the leech.
7:40 Speaker 01 I didn't know they might put salt. I, I know you weren't, you weren't meant to pull it off because it can then puke back into your body. Because it's, it's sucking the blood and as you pull it, it can go and then puke the blood back inside you.
7:52 Speaker 02 Body. Well, thanks very much. Give it back.
7:54 Speaker 00 Yeah.
7:55 Speaker 01 Not with, not with added puke though.
7:58 Speaker 02 Yeah, but maybe their puke's got like Ed Sheeran pond effects. I don't know.
8:02 Speaker 00 Yeah, it might be healing.
8:03 Speaker 01 It could be. Yeah. And people just don't know that.
8:05 Speaker 00 Yeah, yeah. Good on leech puke.
8:07 Speaker 02 I'm so glad we could get this out the way of thinking about it all morning.
8:10 Speaker 00 Yeah. No, I, I mean, I could see you had that ready to go when you came in.
8:13 Speaker 02 It was really scratching my mind.
8:14 Speaker 00 I hope we talk about leech puke. Sounds like a band I would listen to.
8:18 Speaker 01 But before we started the podcast, Joy did say to us, I'd really like to talk about leech puke and not, and not my new album Juniper, please. That was what you said.
8:26 Speaker 00 What a lovely link into the promo section.
8:28 Speaker 01 Yeah, yeah, that's my little link there.
8:30 Speaker 02 That was really well done for that.
8:32 Speaker 01 Very excited about this new album, as a lot of people are. I saw you at Glastonbury, it was fantastic.
8:37 Speaker 02 Oh, thanks.
8:38 Speaker 01 What can you tell people about this? I mean, there's a lot of guests I'm excited about and the singles have sounded great, but um. Where are you with it now? How long do you have to stick with the album before it comes out?
8:49 Speaker 02 This one, about seven hundred and sixty-three years.
8:51 Speaker 00 Wow.
8:52 Speaker 01 Wow, that's a long time, actually.
8:53 Speaker 02 It was a while. Well, it felt that way. But no, I really like this album, actually, and I like performing it. I realised I like it. I realised I liked it along the way, but I realised I really like it because I go to rehearsals now. I'm rehearsing for tour at the moment and I'm really enjoying playing the music and that is a good sign.
9:13 Speaker 00 That's a really good sign.
9:14 Speaker 02 Yeah.
9:15 Speaker 00 Imagine if you're in there going, oh no.
9:17 Speaker 02 I've been there.
9:17 Speaker 00 Yeah.
9:18 Speaker 02 There are things where I've been like, oh, Jesus. And like, also, just when it doesn't feel like we're getting the music, but I get on, I call my band The Mates. We're called Joy Crooks and The Mates and they really are my mates. They're just such a funny bunch of boys and then just playing the music feels really good and, I don't know, I feel like I can connect to it quite easily and relate to the topics, even though I wrote it a little while ago.
9:43 Speaker 01 Do you ever sit down to like rehearse for the tour and come up with stuff for the songs that you're like, oh, we should have had that on the album?
9:50 Speaker 02 All the time.
9:50 Speaker 01 Like you add a little something.
9:52 Speaker 02 All the time. It drives me nuts. It really drives me crazy. There's like guitar riffs I come up with. At the moment, I'm playing Omnichord in one of the songs.
10:01 Speaker 00 Oh, nice.
10:02 Speaker 02 Yeah, that we've like plugged through. This is really boring music stuff, but like plugged through a guitar pedal, so it sounds really cool. And I'm just like, why did I not, why did I not do that? Why did I not play Omnichord during Glastonbury?
10:13 Speaker 01 Yeah. Don't worry about boring music stuff. We're music nerds.
10:17 Speaker 02 Okay, good.
10:18 Speaker 01 We're here for it.
10:18 Speaker 02 Good. Well, yeah, I just, there's always something I feel like I could have added or with my vocals as well. I'm like, why did I not go that there? And I did that on the record, you know? There's always something. But I think that's what makes live so fun because you can just have a new version of the tunes in your own way.
10:36 Speaker 01 Have you ever released a live album, sorry?
10:38 Speaker 02 Never.
10:39 Speaker 01 Would you do it?
10:40 Speaker 02 Probably, if I didn't think it sounded sharp.
10:43 Speaker 01 Obviously, yeah.
10:44 Speaker 00 Well, that's, yeah, that's, we assume that.
10:46 Speaker 01 That's a given.
10:46 Speaker 00 Yeah.
10:47 Speaker 02 Okay.
10:48 Speaker 01 But do you have, do you have any favourite live albums by other artists that you, cause I think, I think they get overlooked quite a lot, but the good ones, yeah, great.
10:57 Speaker 02 Unplugged.
10:58 Speaker 01 One of the best.
10:58 Speaker 02 Nirvana and Lauren's Unplugged are just like ridiculous.
11:02 Speaker 01 Yeah.
11:02 Speaker 02 But like, yeah, Kurt Cobain's Unplugged is just unreal. I actually haven't listened to it in 10 years or something. I used to listen to it a bunch when I was a kid. My dad just really loved that record and it would be on all the time. And I don't know, that, that specific setup and also strangely the acoustic guitars, like Lauren's acoustic guitar, she didn't even play it that well. Um, but it wasn't about that. Uh, and, and Kurt's, I don't know, it just sounded, it, the sound was amazing. And it was funny how you can connect to such a like bare bodied version of those tunes, which is testament to the fact that the tunes are insanely good, you know?
11:38 Speaker 01 Mm hmm. Yeah, it made me appreciate his voice even more, that album.
11:42 Speaker 02 Definitely.
11:42 Speaker 01 It's like, I think I've maybe took it for granted a bit on the Noisier album, the full band albums, but like with that unplugged one, you really hear how good his voice is. It's mad.
11:51 Speaker 02 Totally. And you hear how good the riffs are too, cause you can put them on acoustic guitars and they still bang, you know, so.
11:57 Speaker 00 You can't do omnichord unplugged though. That's the one thing you'll have to.
12:00 Speaker 02 You can, cause it's battery, it's battery powered actually.
12:03 Speaker 01 Blam.
12:03 Speaker 00 Oh, but that doesn't feel like within the spirit of the unplugged to have battery.
12:08 Speaker 02 Well, maybe we have different spirits.
12:09 Speaker 00 Yeah, that's true. Yeah, yeah. But everyone, everyone's allowed to have different spirits. But if, if I think I can see you do unplugged and you were using a battery powered omnichord, I'd be like, that's not a loophole. I appreciate it.
12:19 Speaker 02 Have like a, um, you know what Joni Mitchell played on her lap, like those.
12:22 Speaker 01 Yeah.
12:22 Speaker 00 Yeah, like, a liar, is that?
12:25 Speaker 02 Well, it looks like an omnichord, but it is an actual like thing. I don't know. It looks like something you knit with, or like make a rug with.
12:30 Speaker 00 Like a loom.
12:31 Speaker 02 Yeah, that. I only found out what they were called the other day. I looked at, my friend has one in her house and I looked at it and I was like, oh, that's a nice little nitty thing, isn't it? And she was like, oh no, that's a loom. And now I know what a loom is.
12:43 Speaker 00 You know what that is.
12:44 Speaker 01 As a lyricist, when you pick up stuff like that, you're like, oh, yeah, put that, that's a nice word. I'm gonna put that in a song. Loom.
12:51 Speaker 02 It's funny you should mention this because I have a little problem with words, uh, even though I'm an lyricist. So, um, my boyfriend made me a book called Joyisms, which is British proverbs that I annihilate by accident and say with pure confidence. Um, the, yesterday I did one, um, I said, make yourselves home.
13:11 Speaker 00 Make yourselves home.
13:12 Speaker 02 Yeah, all my mates are over for an Indian takeaway.
13:15 Speaker 00 I think that's nice, though.
13:17 Speaker 02 It's wrong, though.
13:18 Speaker 00 It's wrong. It's definitely wrong.
13:20 Speaker 02 They get worse.
13:21 Speaker 00 Okay.
13:22 Speaker 02 Fruits of my labia.
13:25 Speaker 02 Was one. Yeah.
13:28 Speaker 01 Yeah.
13:29 Speaker 00 That's a bad one.
13:30 Speaker 01 That does completely change.
13:31 Speaker 00 That's chapter one of Joyism.
13:33 Speaker 02 You take a breath and they take a mile.
13:35 Speaker 01 Yeah, great.
13:36 Speaker 02 What does that mean?
13:37 Speaker 01 Yeah.
13:37 Speaker 02 What does that mean? The sky is the ocean. That's something I said.
13:40 Speaker 00 Well, that sounds like it could be an album.
13:42 Speaker 02 Someone younger than me when they were asking for advice and I was like, look, the sky is the ocean.
13:46 Speaker 01 You're like Del Boy.
13:49 Speaker 00 They came away from that chat being like, I'm more confused than I was going in.
13:52 Speaker 02 Literally, I used to say half a dozen, three of the other as well. I did, I never really knew what that meant.
13:58 Speaker 00 Yeah, yeah, yeah. It doesn't mean anything.
14:00 Speaker 02 And two sides of the same cloth.
14:05 Speaker 02 And I just get them wrong all the time. I said grandma's tails the other day. It's old wives' tails, isn't it?
14:10 Speaker 00 Yeah, but that, I mean, grandmas can be old wives as well, right?
14:13 Speaker 02 My friends thought I meant actual like cat tails.
14:16 Speaker 00 Oh, okay, sorry.
14:18 Speaker 02 Yeah. So, yes, I hear words like loom, but there's a 98% chance I'm gonna say it, either say it wrong or put it into the wrong thing, you know what I'm saying?
14:30 Speaker 01 If you say fruits of the loom, that's.
14:34 Speaker 02 Fruits of the loom?
14:34 Speaker 01 That's just the popular t-shirt.
14:35 Speaker 02 That's a really good t-shirt. Yeah, I love those t-shirts.
14:38 Speaker 00 Fruits of the loom, I always think of when I used to go to gigs and then come out and the guys are selling the knockoff merch outside.
14:44 Speaker 02 They're always better, though.
14:46 Speaker 00 Well, no, because when, certainly the ones I've bought in the past are like the logo screen printed over the fruits of the loom logo, so you can still see fruits of the loom showing through.
14:56 Speaker 02 That's kind of the vibe.
14:58 Speaker 00 Yeah, that's the vibe.
14:59 Speaker 02 Yeah, I think so.
15:03 Speaker 01 We always start with still a sparkling water, Joy. Do you have a preference?
15:06 Speaker 02 Always sparkling.
15:07 Speaker 01 Always? Now, singers don't always say always sparkling water because of the
15:12 Speaker 02 I'm just not, I'm not just any singer.
15:16 Speaker 02 I'm a sparkling water singer.
15:17 Speaker 00 Yeah. This is Joy Crooks we've got in the studio, man.
15:20 Speaker 02 I've got, it's a shame that this is a podcast really because I was going to show you my burp dance. But luckily we've got these strangely horizontal cameras.
15:27 Speaker 00 We've got big long cameras.
15:28 Speaker 02 So, basically, everyone always asks me, there's this one dance, do I do this on stage?
15:34 Speaker 00 Oh, nice.
15:35 Speaker 02 But just massive burps every time. Huge ones. Sometimes I go over to my bass player to look like we've got some like chemistry and burping straight into his face.
15:46 Speaker 00 That's chemistry of a sort, I suppose.
15:48 Speaker 02 Straight burp. You know when cats cough, it looks like that as well.
15:54 Speaker 01 Poor fucking guy.
15:55 Speaker 00 So really you're turning away, you're burping, but you're keeping your mouth shut, you're not doing like a
16:00 Speaker 02 I can do multiple different kinds of burps.
16:01 Speaker 00 Can you take a breath?
16:02 Speaker 02 I can burp through my nose.
16:03 Speaker 00 Can you?
16:03 Speaker 02 Yeah. You ever had that one where it just feels like, especially with sparkling water?
16:07 Speaker 00 Yeah.
16:08 Speaker 02 Especially if it's a good one, like a Vicky Catalan, what is it? Vicky Catalan?
16:11 Speaker 00 Vishi Catalan, is that?
16:12 Speaker 02 No, it's Vicky Catalan.
16:13 Speaker 00 It's Vicky Catalan. Oh, I'm gonna trust you on that, am I?
16:16 Speaker 02 When I have Vicky.
16:16 Speaker 00 I'm gonna trust fruit of the labia on what they're
16:21 Speaker 02 When I have Vicky, I burp out my nose.
16:24 Speaker 00 Just consistently out the nose?
16:26 Speaker 02 Because you've given me a coffee.
16:27 Speaker 00 Yeah.
16:27 Speaker 02 But you can just, and it just comes out the nose.
16:30 Speaker 00 Yeah.
16:31 Speaker 01 I know what you mean. It's not like out of your nostrils it makes a burp sound.
16:34 Speaker 00 Yeah, that's what I was thinking.
16:35 Speaker 01 That's what Edward's thinking.
16:36 Speaker 00 You're burping in the mouth and you're releasing it through the nose. You're not burping straight out the nose.
16:40 Speaker 02 It's like a bit of both. Can I just say really quickly, sorry to sidetrack, but you've got a green shirt on, a white mug and like slightly orange trousers. Have you heard of the Instagram page Accidentally Island?
16:51 Speaker 01 No, what's that?
16:52 Speaker 02 Do you mind if I take a picture of you?
16:53 Speaker 01 Yeah, yeah.
16:54 Speaker 00 Is it going, is it being sent straight?
16:56 Speaker 02 It's going straight to Accidentally Island.
16:57 Speaker 01 I'm gonna go on Accidentally Island.
16:59 Speaker 02 Yeah, because you've got, you've got the Irish flag on, by accident.
17:03 Speaker 01 Yeah, I've accidentally worn the Irish flag. Well.
17:06 Speaker 02 No, it's the white mug too.
17:07 Speaker 01 Yeah, the white mug's done it. Do you know what?
17:09 Speaker 00 White guy, he's a white guy.
17:10 Speaker 01 I'm a very white man.
17:11 Speaker 02 You'd have to put, you'd have to have like a crop top on, then you can have white.
17:14 Speaker 00 The stripe.
17:15 Speaker 02 Medriff.
17:15 Speaker 00 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
17:16 Speaker 02 Yeah.
17:16 Speaker 01 I know I made a mistake this morning when I was getting dressed. Should have put the crop top on.
17:21 Speaker 02 I hate when that happens.
17:23 Speaker 01 Look, you know, I'm never been happier to accidentally be a country.
17:28 Speaker 00 Yes.
17:28 Speaker 01 An island.
17:29 Speaker 02 Great.
17:29 Speaker 01 So, thank you.
17:30 Speaker 02 You're so welcome.
17:31 Speaker 01 I'm looking forward to being on that Instagram page.
17:33 Speaker 02 Sorry for the sidetrack.
17:33 Speaker 00 No, we love that.
17:34 Speaker 01 We love a sidetrack. So, you're gonna have sparkling water. Now, you shouted out the Vicky Catalana or whatever.
17:41 Speaker 02 What is it actually called?
17:42 Speaker 00 I think it's Vichi Catalan, but I'm happy to go with Vicky Catalan.
17:45 Speaker 01 He is right. He's always right with this stuff.
17:48 Speaker 02 Like a Vichi.
17:49 Speaker 00 Vichi or Vichi. Not like Avicii, the Swedish.
17:52 Speaker 02 Oh, but like Vichi. Vichi Catala.
17:56 Speaker 01 I don't know what the Swedish one is.
17:57 Speaker 02 That's why I just go, can I have that one, please?
17:59 Speaker 00 Swedish Avicii, the DJ guy?
18:01 Speaker 02 I think so.
18:01 Speaker 01 Oh, I don't know. I don't know this person.
18:02 Speaker 02 Maybe.
18:03 Speaker 00 You don't know this person?
18:04 Speaker 01 You just said you're a music nerd. You don't know who Avicii is? No, I said we were music nerds. Between us, we've got it covered.
18:08 Speaker 02 Yeah, yeah. I was gonna say each to their own, right?
18:11 Speaker 00 Yeah.
18:12 Speaker 01 I don't know Avicii. I know DJ Lethal. If we're talking DJs.
18:16 Speaker 02 I don't know if I'm allowed to say this, but I'm really into MC Bin Laden.
18:20 Speaker 01 Okay, you can say that. I've not heard of MC Bin Laden.
18:23 Speaker 02 You know about billy funk, right? The music of the favelas.
18:27 Speaker 01 The Brazilian, yeah, yeah, yeah.
18:29 Speaker 02 There's, one of the best ones is called MC Bin Laden. I'm not joking. And they call it, the Brazilians, like Brazilian people have messaged me saying, "Oh, this is a song called Bolololo, ha, ha, ha, ha, and by MC Bin Laden." And they're like, "This is actually our national anthem, unofficial national anthem."
18:47 Speaker 01 I'm gonna listen to that as soon as we finish it, because I'm only becoming vaguely familiar with that genre. I don't even know what it's called. But I know that some people, like JPG Mafia did a song that was like sampling.
18:59 Speaker 02 Billy funk, yeah.
19:00 Speaker 01 Yeah, so I was like, "That's really all I know about it." So, I was like, I didn't know it was a thing until like that song. And I was like, "Oh, it's like..."
19:07 Speaker 00 This is the first time I'm hearing it.
19:08 Speaker 01 Quite big on the internet at the minute, like.
19:10 Speaker 02 Oh, it's so good. Yeah, it's so, so good. But that, hearing it through JPG Mafia is a little bit like hearing about Nando's through an American.
19:16 Speaker 01 Yes. Okay.
19:19 Speaker 02 You know, or like Morley, Australian American. It's just not the same thing, is it?
19:22 Speaker 01 No, I'm not saying that.
19:23 Speaker 02 No, I'm not saying that you are, but I'm just saying.
19:25 Speaker 01 What I'm saying is I'm not well versed.
19:26 Speaker 02 Yeah, yeah, no, I get that. I'm just, yeah, that was an analogy.
19:30 Speaker 01 Yes.
19:30 Speaker 00 Is MC Bin Laden named after Osama or is it just a coincidence?
19:35 Speaker 02 No, because Osama was related to loads of Bin Ladens.
19:37 Speaker 00 Yeah, that's true, but.
19:38 Speaker 02 It could have been like Jared Bin Laden.
19:41 Speaker 00 Jared Bin Laden, yeah.
19:42 Speaker 02 Do you know about Bin Laden's son? I was reading about.
19:44 Speaker 00 He's a goth now.
19:45 Speaker 02 Yeah, he's a goth. So it could be just after his goth son.
19:48 Speaker 00 Yeah, he's a metalhead. He lives in England.
19:50 Speaker 02 Massive metalhead.
19:51 Speaker 00 Yeah. Obviously, I get to serve that on the algorithm.
19:53 Speaker 02 I love that we've gone from sparkling water to Osama Bin Laden.
19:56 Speaker 00 Yeah, yeah.
19:57 Speaker 02 We're just covering all the important stuff and the accidentally island outfit and forgetting a crop top.
20:01 Speaker 00 Joy, just in case you're wondering, all of those things were you. You brought all those up.
20:05 Speaker 02 What?
20:06 Speaker 01 We've gone.
20:08 Speaker 02 Did I?
20:08 Speaker 00 God, we're really talking about all these different things.
20:10 Speaker 01 We're crazy.
20:12 Speaker 02 Wait, how did I talk about Bin Laden? I don't even know. So yes, Vicky Catlin.
20:15 Speaker 00 Yes.
20:15 Speaker 01 Yeah.
20:16 Speaker 02 Sparking water, because have you also seen those men on the internet that there's a man that's a professional sparkling waterhead? And he can guess every sparkling water.
20:26 Speaker 00 Oh, wow, no.
20:27 Speaker 02 And he's like from New York, Italian, and knows exactly which is which, which is kind of amazing, just testament to the fact that sparkling water is so flavorful.
20:34 Speaker 00 Yes, and it can be something very, very different. I mean, Vicky, our old friend Vicky.
20:39 Speaker 02 Mm hmm.
20:40 Speaker 00 She's salty.
20:41 Speaker 02 So salty.
20:42 Speaker 00 Yeah. And then badwa. Do you know badwa?
20:45 Speaker 02 Sorry? I don't know it.
20:48 Speaker 00 Badoit?
20:49 Speaker 02 Badwa?
20:50 Speaker 00 Badwa. B A D.
20:51 Speaker 02 Badawa.
20:52 Speaker 00 Bad, bad, badawa.
20:53 Speaker 01 Yeah.
20:53 Speaker 00 Um, a very light sparkle, a very gentle sparkle.
20:56 Speaker 02 That's nice.
20:57 Speaker 00 Yeah.
20:58 Speaker 02 But is it secretly aggressive?
20:59 Speaker 00 Possibly.
21:00 Speaker 02 Like a submarine.
21:01 Speaker 00 Yeah.
21:03 Speaker 00 Submarine water, yeah.
21:04 Speaker 02 Yeah, in the esophagus. It does have a submarine in the esophagus feel to it, doesn't it, sparkling water?
21:10 Speaker 01 Yeah. It does. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it does. I think if I realised that I, my palate was good enough that I could tell the difference between sparkling waters, even though I'd recognise that that is a talent that not a lot of people have.
21:25 Speaker 02 Yeah.
21:26 Speaker 01 I don't know if I would pursue it. I think it would, it, it would be too boring.
21:30 Speaker 02 I think you'd be a performative male if you did that.
21:33 Speaker 01 A performative male?
21:34 Speaker 02 Yeah.
21:35 Speaker 01 I mean.
21:36 Speaker 00 You're quite a performative.
21:37 Speaker 01 Is there any other type of male?
21:39 Speaker 00 Yeah.
21:39 Speaker 02 Well, kinda. There's like Premier League male. There's Champions League male, depending on where your prem is. And then there's performative males. And do you think a prem and Champions League male will have a match up? Probably not.
21:53 Speaker 00 Can you talk us through the Premier League and Championship ma- uh, males? And then why is that? Why are they football, why are they football based? And then why do we go straight down to?
22:02 Speaker 02 I'm just giving you examples of other types of males.
22:04 Speaker 00 Other types of males, yeah. Can you give us maybe through like celebrities, who's a Premier League male, who's a Cham- Champions League male? And why?
22:12 Speaker 01 Yeah.
22:13 Speaker 02 Let me think of a celebrity that's a prem league male. So they can't be in the top four because they can't be a Champions League male. Or they could be, they could be Arsenal. I'm Arsenal.
22:21 Speaker 00 Okay.
22:21 Speaker 01 Uh huh.
22:22 Speaker 02 Okay, wait, let me think.
22:23 Speaker 00 What are the qualities?
22:24 Speaker 02 A celebrity. What kind of celebrity are we talking?
22:27 Speaker 00 Well, I, I don't know because then, I don't know what the.
22:30 Speaker 02 Like a, okay, so like Ramesh Ranganathan.
22:32 Speaker 00 Yeah.
22:32 Speaker 02 He's definitely a Champions, a Champions League and a prem. Um.
22:38 Speaker 00 Okay.
22:38 Speaker 02 Male, because he's Arsenal. So we're both now, right?
22:41 Speaker 01 But hold on, but what about his personality makes him that?
22:44 Speaker 02 But it's really performative male of you both to go to the art, to the football stuff and not focus on performative males.
22:51 Speaker 01 We don't know what they are, Joy.
22:52 Speaker 02 Okay, well, I'll give an example.
22:53 Speaker 01 Joy, I'm starting to get annoyed now.
22:55 Speaker 02 I'm gonna make you a Venn diagram, I'm gonna make you a Venn diagram.
22:57 Speaker 00 Okay, let's make it easier.
22:58 Speaker 02 When you're at an, a football match and you're, let's say a performative male goes to a football match, this is gonna be really, really important.
23:05 Speaker 00 Oh, yeah.
23:06 Speaker 02 The
23:06 Speaker 00 You've lost me already when you're
23:07 Speaker 02 The male is gonna have like a Carlsberg, right?
23:10 Speaker 00 Right.
23:10 Speaker 02 But the performative male is having an Asahi.
23:13 Speaker 00 Right, I'm having an Asahi.
23:15 Speaker 01 But isn't performative not, you're just doing it for everyone else and to?
23:19 Speaker 02 Basically, yeah, like you've had a matcha on your way to the Emirates. And at the Emirates, you're not just having an Asahi, you're having an Asahi from the self pouring station.
23:28 Speaker 00 Right, yeah.
23:29 Speaker 02 Yeah.
23:29 Speaker 01 But that sounds nice.
23:30 Speaker 00 Yeah.
23:31 Speaker 02 No, it does sound nice, but I'm still saying that is a performative male thing to do. And he probably has like a carabiner on and.
23:38 Speaker 00 Oh no, they're helpful for holding your keys, that's why carabiners are useful. You can clip your keys onto your jeans.
23:44 Speaker 02 Yeah, well, I like carabiners, but that's a different story. But, um, we're getting lost here, okay?
23:49 Speaker 01 I'm completely lost.
23:51 Speaker 02 And Carlsberg reference.
23:53 Speaker 00 No, I get it.
23:54 Speaker 02 James, I think you're stressed because maybe you suffer from the symptoms of performative male.
23:57 Speaker 01 I'm, I'm, I'm aware that performative male has been leveled at both of us.
24:01 Speaker 00 Yeah.
24:02 Speaker 01 But I'm trying to figure out what that says about us.
24:04 Speaker 02 Do you watch Meditations of an Anxious Mind?
24:06 Speaker 00 No, no.
24:07 Speaker 02 Oh, he's a funny, um, funny fellow from Dublin called Frankie. And he goes around and just makes cultural observations.
24:14 Speaker 01 Hmm.
24:15 Speaker 02 Um, and his Instagram is Meditations of an Anxious Mind. And he does a whole sector on like performative males. And I think maybe on top of the Bin Laden homework, obviously MC Bin Laden.
24:27 Speaker 01 Yes.
24:27 Speaker 02 A homework that you're doing, maybe you should add that to the list as well.
24:31 Speaker 00 Yeah, same birthday as me, Osama Bin Laden.
24:34 Speaker 02 No way?
24:34 Speaker 00 Yeah.
24:35 Speaker 02 What's that?
24:36 Speaker 00 March 10th.
24:37 Speaker 02 That's a nice day.
24:38 Speaker 00 Yeah. Me, Osama Bin Laden, Drew Barrymore, Jon Hamm.
24:42 Speaker 02 I'm David Cameron and Bala Hadid. So all the best people in the world, all my favourite people, actually.
24:48 Speaker 01 Pop lumps of bread, pop lumps of bread, Joy Crooks, pop lumps of bread.
24:52 Speaker 00 Joy spilled her coffee.
24:53 Speaker 02 I've just spilled the coffee.
24:55 Speaker 01 The best, I did it, I finally did it, I made someone spill their drink.
24:58 Speaker 02 I thought you were really passionate about Zodiac for a second.
25:01 Speaker 00 Yeah.
25:02 Speaker 01 Oh, I am.
25:02 Speaker 02 And now I would have gone, that's it, that's the most performative male thing you've done today. Um, I think bread or pop lumps is potentially one of the most offensive things you could ask me.
25:14 Speaker 00 Yeah.
25:15 Speaker 02 Yeah, okay, so um my mum's Bangladeshi and my dad's Irish, so that's like asking me to choose between mum and dad, you know?
25:23 Speaker 00 Yeah, we should change the question to mum or dad.
25:25 Speaker 01 Mum or dad, I should shout mum or dad at people.
25:26 Speaker 00 Yeah, well, it wouldn't work for everyone.
25:29 Speaker 02 No, it wouldn't work for everyone, would it? Some people, some people would be like, oh, obviously my grandma.
25:33 Speaker 00 Yeah.
25:34 Speaker 01 Mm hmm.
25:34 Speaker 00 Yeah, or neither.
25:35 Speaker 02 Or I'm an orphan.
25:36 Speaker 00 Yeah, I'm an orphan would be, yeah.
25:38 Speaker 01 No, but we've got a very strict rule on the podcast, we don't have orphans.
25:41 Speaker 02 No orphans.
25:42 Speaker 01 No orphans.
25:43 Speaker 02 It's too, it's too traumatic, isn't it? And it's not about trauma bonding, it's about taste bonds.
25:48 Speaker 00 Yeah.
25:49 Speaker 02 Right? Um, I love soda bread and I love poppadoms.
25:53 Speaker 00 Yeah.
25:53 Speaker 02 I ate poppadoms last night and almost ordered soda bread this morning, but instead for breakfast I had a chicken biryani and a protein shake.
26:03 Speaker 02 Ten o'clock this morning.
26:05 Speaker 00 Yeah, a biryani ten o'clock this morning? Was this leftover or are you cooking it fresh? You're cooking it fresh at ten?
26:10 Speaker 02 It's never gonna be yummy at ten, is it, if you cook it fresh? But like, it's nicer than the night before.
26:15 Speaker 00 Yeah, it's so good.
26:16 Speaker 01 Great.
26:17 Speaker 00 Keeps cooking in the fridge, I think.
26:18 Speaker 02 I agree with you.
26:19 Speaker 00 Yeah.
26:19 Speaker 02 Yeah, it just, yeah, it ruminates.
26:22 Speaker 00 Yeah, it ruminates, it marinates.
26:23 Speaker 01 Yeah.
26:24 Speaker 02 Ruminates and marinates.
26:25 Speaker 00 Yeah.
26:26 Speaker 02 That would be the name of, if I ever had a restaurant.
26:29 Speaker 00 Ruminate marinade.
26:30 Speaker 02 Ruminates and marinates. No, I think it'd just be called Housewife. I want everything to be called Housewife.
26:37 Speaker 00 Why?
26:37 Speaker 02 Don't know, just like the word.
26:39 Speaker 00 Yeah.
26:39 Speaker 02 So what are you doing tonight, Housewife?
26:41 Speaker 00 Yeah.
26:41 Speaker 02 Just sounds right. Yeah, I can't really choose between the two, sorry.
26:45 Speaker 01 Have both.
26:46 Speaker 02 Yeah, yeah.
26:46 Speaker 01 Let you have both if it's, because I, I think it's a reasonable, like, some people might try and hack the system and say both, but you, your one is quite a personal reason.
26:56 Speaker 02 Yeah.
26:56 Speaker 01 It's your parents.
26:57 Speaker 02 Yeah.
26:57 Speaker 01 You know.
26:58 Speaker 00 It's also not gonna look good on us.
26:59 Speaker 02 Yeah, you don't wanna look cancelled, is basically, you don't wanna get cancelled, you don't want.
27:03 Speaker 01 That's not real, is it?
27:05 Speaker 02 Well, no, it isn't.
27:05 Speaker 01 I'm not afraid of getting cancelled.
27:07 Speaker 02 Yeah, because it only lasts for twenty minutes anyway.
27:08 Speaker 01 Yeah, it's not real. Stop moaning, Jimmy Carr.
27:12 Speaker 00 You're not cancelled mate.
27:13 Speaker 02 Which one's Jimmy Carr again?
27:15 Speaker 00 Yeah, exactly. Well, you wouldn't know because he's cancelled. That's why you don't, that's why you don't know.
27:18 Speaker 02 He's the one with the suits.
27:20 Speaker 00 Yes.
27:20 Speaker 02 He did the don't laugh, don't laugh at all.
27:23 Speaker 00 Yeah, he, he, he hosts Don't Laugh At All. That show is huge, Don't Laugh At All. Yeah.
27:27 Speaker 02 Only because of Bob.
27:28 Speaker 00 Yes.
27:29 Speaker 02 And Richard. But, um.
27:31 Speaker 00 Yes. I'd love if it was called Don't Laugh At All.
27:33 Speaker 02 Don't Laugh.
27:34 Speaker 00 Don't Laugh At All.
27:35 Speaker 02 Did you try play it when I was, when I was on telly?
27:37 Speaker 00 No.
27:38 Speaker 02 I tried to not laugh.
27:39 Speaker 00 No, I play Guess The Fee when I watch that show.
27:41 Speaker 02 Oh yeah, that's a good one. Cause everyone will have different ones, you know?
27:44 Speaker 00 They're all on, it's a sliding scale on Don't Laugh At All.
27:47 Speaker 02 Wow. I think we might have entered the dread time of comedy.
27:50 Speaker 00 The dread time?
27:51 Speaker 02 Dread time of comedy, yeah.
27:53 Speaker 00 What do you mean?
27:54 Speaker 02 I mean, like, you guys obviously bitch like anyone else about your industries. Like, obviously, I love a good music bitch. We were having a little music bitch out there a second ago. Can't repeat what was said, obviously, but, um. It's like when I listened to the Bob episode that you guys did and he talked about going for dinners to basically bitch about the industry.
28:11 Speaker 00 Yeah, I think about that a lot.
28:12 Speaker 02 Yeah, I, I really, I didn't know that I'd enter that, that for 10 seconds whilst sitting here with you guys.
28:18 Speaker 00 Yeah, welcome.
28:18 Speaker 02 Guess The Fee is bitchy.
28:19 Speaker 00 Guess The Fee is bitchy. Yeah, it's fun as well, though.
28:22 Speaker 02 You know, I can guess the fee for Richard because he lives near me and I always look at his house and I go. Television money. Television money.
28:30 Speaker 00 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
28:32 Speaker 02 Yeah. But also the Lycra he wears to the gym is like, that's, that's buttery soft.
28:36 Speaker 00 Oh, is it?
28:37 Speaker 02 Yeah. That's not cheap shit. I'll tell you that for free.
28:41 Speaker 00 I cannot imagine Richard I Y D in Lycra.
28:44 Speaker 02 I can.
28:45 Speaker 00 Well, you don't need to.
28:46 Speaker 02 I couldn't make eye contact. You can't look at a man in Lycra.
28:49 Speaker 00 No.
28:50 Speaker 02 I don't know how people do fibresides when that happens.
28:53 Speaker 00 Surely eye contact is what you want with the Lycra. So you're, uh, because there's no Lycra on the eyes. It's the one bit that you can look at.
28:59 Speaker 02 Yeah, but you always accidentally look at people's cocks when they're in Lycra.
29:04 Speaker 00 Yeah, sure.
29:05 Speaker 02 Is that's why you're meant to wear shorts over it?
29:07 Speaker 00 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
29:08 Speaker 02 You know when men just wear leggings?
29:10 Speaker 00 That's crazy.
29:10 Speaker 02 No shorts.
29:11 Speaker 00 I know.
29:11 Speaker 02 It's a violation.
29:16 Speaker 00 Let's get into your menu proper now, your dream starter.
29:18 Speaker 02 This was a difficult one for me. So I really like ham on a berico.
29:22 Speaker 00 Oh yeah.
29:23 Speaker 02 But I also really like sausage butties.
29:25 Speaker 00 Hmm.
29:25 Speaker 02 So I thought for a starter, I would have a sausage butty and a ham on a berico moment.
29:32 Speaker 00 Moment. Talk us through the moment. How's it, how's it presenting itself as a moment?
29:35 Speaker 02 Well, ham on a berico is extremely expensive these days. And since we're living in the throes of late stage capitalism and the economy is just burning all around us and we're all struggling. And the world is becoming a dark, dark fascist place.
29:47 Speaker 00 Yes.
29:48 Speaker 02 Ham on a berico is not the easiest thing to have financially. So we do have to take that into account into our.
29:53 Speaker 00 In your dream restaurant, in your dream restaurant. So in your dream restaurant, we're in late stage capitalism.
29:58 Speaker 02 No, no, no. In my dream restaurant, it's 2002.
30:01 Speaker 00 Okay. So that's fine. Oh, why, why specifically?
30:04 Speaker 02 Pre 2008, isn't it?
30:05 Speaker 00 Yes.
30:06 Speaker 02 Maybe the 90s, actually. Leather was better then.
30:11 Speaker 00 So.
30:11 Speaker 02 No, early 2000s had good cleavage though. We want some like cleavage in the restaurant.
30:17 Speaker 00 So we want 90s leather.
30:18 Speaker 02 Yeah.
30:19 Speaker 00 Early 2000s cleavage.
30:20 Speaker 02 Yeah.
30:22 Speaker 00 And well, ham on a berico prices from then, right?
30:24 Speaker 02 Yeah, definitely.
30:25 Speaker 00 Yeah.
30:26 Speaker 02 Because it's like more expensive than gold, you know, it's kind of crazy. Um, but yeah, so like ham and a berico and a sausage buty, but specifically Richmond sausage.
30:34 Speaker 00 Oh, lovely.
30:36 Speaker 02 We don't do like, we don't, we don't do the posh stuff at all.
30:40 Speaker 00 Mm hmm. So you want, yeah.
30:42 Speaker 02 We don't do fucking oregano and fucking sausage and cumberland, schmumberland.
30:48 Speaker 00 Ooh.
30:49 Speaker 02 Yeah.
30:50 Speaker 00 I do, I do the oregano and the cumberland. Performative male. Yeah. Is that performative male? Yeah, big time.
30:56 Speaker 02 Agreed. And you also just admitted that sometimes you might leave the house just with the leggings on.
31:01 Speaker 00 By accident, Joy. I don't want, I'm, I'm putting the shorts on. I don't want everyone seeing my Richmond.
31:08 Speaker 02 See you my Richmond.
31:11 Speaker 02 Seeing my Richmond is something I didn't think I'd hear today.
31:16 Speaker 01 I do believe it was like Richmond.
31:17 Speaker 00 Yeah, yeah. So you want like a like a sausage bussie that you get in like a caf, like the Richmond sausages?
31:24 Speaker 02 And white bread.
31:24 Speaker 01 And the aberco in there as well?
31:26 Speaker 02 No, you can't do that.
31:27 Speaker 01 I want that.
31:28 Speaker 02 But you can choose because it's obviously how you want to eat it.
31:30 Speaker 01 You describing it makes me just want to like get a handful of the aberco.
31:34 Speaker 02 Shove it in the thing.
31:34 Speaker 01 Put it in there with the Richmond sausages and eat it.
31:37 Speaker 02 To be fair, aberco is always with some really hard bread that could have potentially cost a lot of money at the dentist if eaten incorrectly. Which has happened to me before. But with soft bread, aberco actually might be amazing with like a good, what's like a, what's the name of the bread that is just white? Like King's Mill?
31:54 Speaker 01 Oh, Mighty Mighty White?
31:56 Speaker 02 No, I think that's like a, I think that might be a neo-Nazi thing. Sorry.
32:01 Speaker 00 That's it. There is a bread called Mighty White, but I'm interested to know if it's still going because it does.
32:05 Speaker 02 I don't support reform.
32:07 Speaker 00 It does sound like something written on a St George's cross.
32:10 Speaker 02 Yeah, no, actually a Georgian, a Georgian cross.
32:13 Speaker 00 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
32:14 Speaker 02 Because they don't even know which ones which. Yeah, that old, yeah, that old chestnut.
32:19 Speaker 00 As soon as I said Mighty White and I saw the look on your face, I was like, I know where this is going.
32:25 Speaker 02 You knew.
32:26 Speaker 00 Yeah.
32:28 Speaker 02 I was like, oh, right wing.
32:30 Speaker 00 I've got him.
32:32 Speaker 02 So, yeah, I think that I just, look, I'll be honest with you, I've earned enough to eat small plates and I'm never full. And it's not actually the food that makes me happy. Like my, my best food discovery recently was these biscuits called Dove Farm. And it looks posh, but actually, actually it's just a digestive that feels like before Jamie Oliver ruined everything.
32:55 Speaker 01 Okay.
32:56 Speaker 02 With sugar tax.
32:57 Speaker 01 Here we go. This is, this is the proper, we've, we've touched on ways that the UK are divided and I think one of the main ways is people who think what Jamie Oliver did is appalling.
33:08 Speaker 02 Well, you think Jack Rice is not appalling?
33:10 Speaker 00 All of that stuff, fine, but the stopping kids eating shit, it was good, I think.
33:16 Speaker 02 But that's what you're meant to do when you're a kid. It's what you're meant to do.
33:20 Speaker 00 He visited a school where one of the kids was so ill, they were shitting out their mouths.
33:23 Speaker 02 Your teeth fall out for a reason.
33:26 Speaker 00 You want kids to shit out their mouths, Troy?
33:28 Speaker 02 I shit out my mouth every day with my shit that comes out mine. Still survive.
33:35 Speaker 02 What were we talking about? Oh yeah, sugar tax. So.
33:37 Speaker 00 It's like sweet digestives.
33:39 Speaker 02 Yeah.
33:40 Speaker 01 Dove Farm.
33:41 Speaker 02 Yeah, just something else. Like you take a bite and you're transported to, well, at least for me, what I would have been. I was born in ninety eight, so what age would I have been in nursery? Like, how old are you, nursery three? You sound like you have kids.
33:53 Speaker 00 No, I don't. I'm just tired.
33:54 Speaker 02 You just care.
33:55 Speaker 00 Just generally tired. Oh yeah, I just don't want, I don't have kids. I just don't want other kids to shit out their mouths.
34:01 Speaker 02 Right, yeah.
34:01 Speaker 01 So funny. The thing that tipped you off that Ed might have kids is because he thought it was good to make sure kids get a healthy diet.
34:09 Speaker 02 Yeah.
34:09 Speaker 01 And he must have kids.
34:10 Speaker 00 Classic dad.
34:11 Speaker 01 Yeah, I just checked.
34:12 Speaker 02 I was like, classic dad.
34:13 Speaker 01 Yeah.
34:14 Speaker 00 Doesn't want kids to shit out their mouths.
34:14 Speaker 02 God, you're better than all of us, we know. Um, so yeah, like any food that transports me to when I was a kid in a good way.
34:24 Speaker 00 Yeah.
34:24 Speaker 02 Just makes me feel really happy. I know that's a basic thing to say.
34:26 Speaker 01 No, it was great.
34:27 Speaker 02 Like butties. I used to have butties before I did Irish dancing competitions.
34:31 Speaker 01 Mm hmm. How did that affect the dancing?
34:34 Speaker 00 Yeah.
34:35 Speaker 02 I think that's where I, I think is potentially how I got IBS.
34:40 Speaker 01 Yeah. Irish Bowel Syndrome?
34:42 Speaker 02 Yeah.
34:43 Speaker 01 Irish Butty Syndrome.
34:44 Speaker 02 Yeah.
34:45 Speaker 00 I was so close.
34:46 Speaker 01 So close.
34:46 Speaker 02 Both just as good as each other.
34:48 Speaker 00 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
34:49 Speaker 01 Irish Butty Syndrome is better than Irish Bowel Syndrome.
34:51 Speaker 02 Irish Butty Syndrome is a real problem for me.
34:53 Speaker 00 Yeah. So you think that was having the, the butty before the dance competition?
34:58 Speaker 02 It was just the thing that my dad was like, you just have to do that.
35:00 Speaker 00 Yeah.
35:00 Speaker 01 Oh, so it was encouraged.
35:02 Speaker 00 Yeah.
35:02 Speaker 02 It was encouraged. He was like, look, you're really nervous and what will get rid of the nerves is some Richmond sausages with some white bread and Kerrygold. I know that you lot have got your little thing with our anchor, but I just, I have a love for Kerrygold.
35:15 Speaker 01 As, as you should. It's a big thing on the podcast. When we've had Irish guests on, they often shout out Kerrygold at some point during the episode.
35:21 Speaker 02 Yeah.
35:22 Speaker 01 So I'm glad you've done it as well.
35:23 Speaker 02 Thanks.
35:24 Speaker 01 Um, I think that sounds delicious. On the way here, I saw an advert for a Berriko, which I haven't, I didn't know that it was like a brand.
35:32 Speaker 02 It was an advert.
35:32 Speaker 01 All by itself. It just said a Berriko and there was this guy.
35:35 Speaker 02 Jose Martinez.
35:36 Speaker 01 There's a guy holding up a bit of a Berriko like that to the camera. It was.
35:40 Speaker 02 Was it Pep Guardiola?
35:41 Speaker 01 Maybe, maybe it was Pep.
35:43 Speaker 00 Yeah.
35:43 Speaker 02 Things have gone downhill, so I have to start selling the Abericos. I've been shifting ham.
35:48 Speaker 01 See, I don't know what Pep looks like. I know enough about football to know that he is a manager, maybe of Man City.
35:55 Speaker 02 Oh yeah, and he used to be a model.
35:57 Speaker 01 Okay, I didn't know that.
35:58 Speaker 02 Yeah.
35:58 Speaker 00 And now he's a ham model.
36:00 Speaker 02 Yeah.
36:00 Speaker 00 Potentially.
36:01 Speaker 01 A ham.
36:01 Speaker 02 He sells ham.
36:02 Speaker 00 Yeah.
36:03 Speaker 02 Yeah.
36:03 Speaker 01 I'd love to be a ham model.
36:05 Speaker 00 I'd love to be a ham model, yeah. Yeah.
36:07 Speaker 02 Hand or ham?
36:08 Speaker 00 Both, I think. I guess you've got to hold the ham, haven't you?
36:10 Speaker 02 What kind of ham, though? You obviously know what ham I would have, but.
36:13 Speaker 00 I'm a big Abarico guy as well.
36:14 Speaker 02 Okay.
36:15 Speaker 00 I absolutely love Abarico. And there is, there's a place right down there on the corner, the Jose Place. It's really good stuff.
36:21 Speaker 02 They're belota. That means that they're fed with acorns.
36:24 Speaker 00 Yeah, and you can taste it as well.
36:25 Speaker 02 Yeah.
36:26 Speaker 00 You can, yeah, you can, it's a nutty flavour, isn't it?
36:28 Speaker 02 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
36:29 Speaker 00 Yeah, yeah. What are you putting in the sandwich? So you've got the curry gold?
36:32 Speaker 02 Butter.
36:32 Speaker 00 Sauce?
36:33 Speaker 02 Richmond. Um, well, if you're gonna be flavourful, like ketchup and a little bit of sriracha.
36:39 Speaker 00 Mm-hmm.
36:40 Speaker 02 Or just ketchup.
36:41 Speaker 00 Yeah.
36:47 Speaker 00 Your main course?
36:49 Speaker 02 I had a really, like, this was a nightmare for me because I was stuck between the two. So I'm kind of like, ri- you have to let me get away with this, okay?
36:57 Speaker 00 Mm-hmm.
36:58 Speaker 02 All right, so the main course and side dish should kind of have to work together because that's the only way we're gonna let this happen. But basically, the first thing I thought of when I heard main course was spaghetti bolognese. I'm just gonna be honest, I know I'm gonna get a lot of shit for that. I know it's like having, it's like a Velcro moment, you know? It makes you feel uncomfortable, but we all know the feeling, you know? And that's what spaghetti bolognese is for me.
37:23 Speaker 00 Are we gonna ask questions?
37:25 Speaker 01 Well, I don't know, because when Joyce says stuff like this, we have questions, but when we ask them, I feel like.
37:33 Speaker 02 I know what you're gonna say.
37:34 Speaker 01 I feel like we're seen as.
37:38 Speaker 02 Silly for not understanding.
37:39 Speaker 01 Being idiots for not understanding.
37:41 Speaker 00 Understanding Velcro, Velcro moment.
37:42 Speaker 01 And like, I mean, there's a lot of things along the way that I'm just like, I don't think you'll get any shit for saying spaghetti bolognese. Pretty much everyone loves spaghetti bolognese, but then like.
37:51 Speaker 02 But Italians will get shit.
37:52 Speaker 01 It makes you feel uncomfortable. It's like a Velcro moment, and I don't know what that means about spaghetti bolognese at all.
37:57 Speaker 02 Because like, okay, it just made sense in my brain, but basically, I turned 27 recently and I asked for a Fry Tag bag. Because they're like really durable and like, um, you could literally like, you know, be in the worst weather ever and it would be fine. They won't get damaged. And I really like practical things. It might be a potential gay thing. I don't know.
38:16 Speaker 00 Mm-hmm.
38:16 Speaker 02 But being 27 and having Velcro.
38:20 Speaker 02 Is really.
38:21 Speaker 00 Okay.
38:21 Speaker 02 It's really humbling.
38:22 Speaker 00 Mm hmm.
38:23 Speaker 02 Because we've all been there, right? We've all had Velcro shoes or like Velcro something because there was a time we couldn't tie things up. So there's something really warming and like nice about it and nostalgic, but at the same time, I just feel like a walad on the tube when I'm trying to get my fucking lip liner out and it's just
38:42 Speaker 02 you know, twenty seven, trying to like maybe do some dodgy eye contact with someone on the tube. And then the next thing you know, the Velcro happens. And although it's it's a familiar feeling, it's nonetheless an embarrassing one. And that's how I feel about spaghetti one of these.
38:57 Speaker 00 That's absolutely perfect. I completely understand now. James? No.
39:01 Speaker 02 Come on, James.
39:02 Speaker 00 Come on, James. I don't understand. It's nostalgic. It makes you feel good. Yeah. But from the outside perspective. Yeah. It's quite sort of remedial and childish.
39:16 Speaker 02 Yeah.
39:16 Speaker 00 Yes?
39:16 Speaker 02 Yeah.
39:17 Speaker 00 Yes. Okay. Yes? Okay. It's not often.
39:20 Speaker 01 Normally Ed has to.
39:21 Speaker 00 Yes, this is what I was about to say. Normally I have to translate what James has said to the guest. This is the first time I've had to do it the other way around.
39:28 Speaker 02 Cool.
39:28 Speaker 00 But it's nice to know I can always be the middle man in every situation. Yeah, well done, man. I feel good. I understand both of you.
39:34 Speaker 02 You're smashing it.
39:35 Speaker 00 Thank you.
39:36 Speaker 01 Um, okay, got you.
39:38 Speaker 00 Do you?
39:39 Speaker 01 I think so.
39:40 Speaker 00 Yes.
39:40 Speaker 01 I I the the confusing thing about the Velcro thing was the fact that you're twenty was using the twenty seven thing. So I was like, that's so young.
39:46 Speaker 00 Hmm.
39:47 Speaker 01 But I felt like you were using it like twenty seven was not.
39:50 Speaker 00 But it's not, it's old for Velcro.
39:52 Speaker 02 It's old for Velcro. Yeah.
39:54 Speaker 00 Yes.
39:54 Speaker 02 I'm not gonna sit here and play my tiny violin. I left it at home.
39:59 Speaker 00 Next to the.
40:00 Speaker 02 I did buy one.
40:01 Speaker 00 A tiny violin?
40:01 Speaker 02 Yeah.
40:02 Speaker 00 How's how small are we talking?
40:03 Speaker 02 It's this big.
40:04 Speaker 00 Yeah.
40:04 Speaker 02 So like, what's that like? Small?
40:06 Speaker 00 Yeah, it's small.
40:07 Speaker 02 And then it comes with a bow and it has this little button on it because it's battery powered and if.
40:12 Speaker 00 You can use it and unplug it.
40:14 Speaker 02 Yeah, you can literally press down on the button bit, but that's where the bow would go and it plays a tiny little sad tune.
40:21 Speaker 01 Is it sometimes when you're recording music and you have like novel things like that around? Cause they're so novel, do you really hope it'll work on the song? Is it really gutting if you do record them, use them back and go? That's not it, I have to get rid of that.
40:35 Speaker 02 You can make it work though, cause you can manipulate it afterwards, can't you?
40:39 Speaker 01 Okay.
40:39 Speaker 02 Like you can change the pitch and make it work. But I just like it cause my mates.
40:43 Speaker 01 Mm hmm.
40:43 Speaker 02 Just all my boyfriend who start gabbing on about something, I just get the tiny violin out.
40:49 Speaker 01 Just press it down like that.
40:50 Speaker 02 Yeah.
40:51 Speaker 01 Down there.
40:52 Speaker 02 Yeah.
40:52 Speaker 01 Oh.
40:53 Speaker 02 And he wonders how he's ever gonna spoon me again.
40:58 Speaker 01 That's what he's wondering, is it?
40:59 Speaker 02 I think so.
41:00 Speaker 01 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
41:03 Speaker 01 Is the spaghetti bolognese homemade?
41:04 Speaker 02 Yeah, it has to be. It could be made by like a nonna, but like I feel like a nonna would be just cussing me out and I just don't wanna be cussed by an auntie and. I think if we're having this dream restaurant, I don't think genies are gonna allow any kind of.
41:17 Speaker 01 Cussing.
41:18 Speaker 02 We're just like angry, like angry auntie energy. I could deal with like a funny auntie.
41:24 Speaker 01 Yeah.
41:25 Speaker 02 You know, one that kind of smokes in the kitchen type of thing.
41:27 Speaker 01 Yeah, that's cool.
41:28 Speaker 02 That's cool.
41:29 Speaker 01 Yeah.
41:29 Speaker 02 So I think an auntie that smokes in the kitchen.
41:31 Speaker 01 Is cooking.
41:32 Speaker 02 And is kind of a little bit fit in like a way where like when you're in your twenties, you're a big problem.
41:39 Speaker 01 You can see the history in the eyes of.
41:41 Speaker 02 Yeah.
41:41 Speaker 01 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Still a little sparkle.
41:43 Speaker 02 Yeah. I have an Italian name I came up with. Yeah, I have like an Italian alter ego. My Italian name is John Cena.
41:50 Speaker 01 John Cena?
41:55 Speaker 02 You're not pronouncing it right.
41:56 Speaker 01 Sorry. What you said? Your Italian name is John Cena?
42:01 Speaker 02 Yeah.
42:01 Speaker 01 Yeah. And is that where you've got it from?
42:05 Speaker 02 By accident.
42:06 Speaker 01 Yeah.
42:07 Speaker 02 I said it out loud and then my boyfriend said the exact same thing. He said, John Cena?
42:11 Speaker 01 Yeah.
42:12 Speaker 02 And I was like, oh. Well, that's it.
42:16 Speaker 00 Oh, you're glad to see me.
42:18 Speaker 02 So this aunt in the kitchen that smokes fags and is a little bit fit, her name is Johnson.
42:22 Speaker 00 Yeah, okay. And is it, if you look closely, is it clearly John Cena wearing a, wearing a wig?
42:27 Speaker 02 Yes.
42:27 Speaker 00 Yeah.
42:28 Speaker 02 Yes, it is.
42:29 Speaker 01 Good on him.
42:29 Speaker 02 Yeah.
42:30 Speaker 00 Yeah, good for him.
42:31 Speaker 02 So that's what we'll have for mains. Oh, and you get, and we actually have a refill station, but it's just for Parmesan.
42:37 Speaker 01 Okay, you like a lot of Parmesan on there and you wanna keep refreshing it as you're going along, is that what?
42:41 Speaker 02 So I don't like when everyone puts it all at the top. What I think you need to have is the little tub and then layer, eat that layer, go in for the next layer.
42:49 Speaker 00 That's nice.
42:49 Speaker 02 Eat that layer.
42:50 Speaker 00 Yeah.
42:50 Speaker 01 Great.
42:51 Speaker 02 That's how I do it.
42:51 Speaker 00 When you say refill station, I'm imagining like a drinks.
42:55 Speaker 02 Yeah, exactly that. But then it's just like dandruffy fucking Parmesan. Also, the Parmesan isn't gonna be like them weird shaved ones. It's gonna be like, like, that needs head and shoulders type of Parmesan.
43:07 Speaker 00 Yeah.
43:08 Speaker 02 Like really, really psoriasis-y.
43:11 Speaker 00 But proper Parmesan, like just grated heavily.
43:13 Speaker 02 Yeah, just grated.
43:14 Speaker 00 Not like shit Parmesan.
43:15 Speaker 02 No, no, no, it's not shit. It's like whatever, what's the posh one called? Like.
43:20 Speaker 00 Gran a padano?
43:21 Speaker 02 No, that's the cheat one actually. I only realised. I always thought I was doing solid by buying that. So fucking Parmesan. It's B tech Parmesan.
43:31 Speaker 01 What's the posh Parmesan called, Benito?
43:32 Speaker 00 Holco Hugano.
43:36 Speaker 02 Holco Hugano?
43:38 Speaker 01 It's called that.
43:39 Speaker 00 Stoney or cold. Yeah, Parmigiano Reggiano, surely.
43:43 Speaker 02 Parmigiano Reggiano. Sounds made up, doesn't it?
43:46 Speaker 00 It does sound made up, but I always sing it in my head.
43:48 Speaker 02 But it's like a big one, like one of them big wheels. That's like the right colour.
43:52 Speaker 00 Have you ever seen him crack the wheel?
43:54 Speaker 02 Excuse me?
43:56 Speaker 00 Have you ever seen him crack the wheel?
43:57 Speaker 02 I've never seen anyone crack the wheel.
43:59 Speaker 00 A fresh wheel, completely covered, and then they have to put in like spikes at the side. And then they like tap the spikes in and then you hear a crack.
44:08 Speaker 02 Oh, it's that hard?
44:09 Speaker 00 Yeah, it's like a loud crack and the whole thing lifts off.
44:12 Speaker 02 That's really interesting. I've never heard of that. I will watch that on TikTok.
44:14 Speaker 00 It's good, it's satisfying. I've seen it happen live and it's a wonderful experience.
44:19 Speaker 02 I wonder if there's like an omen for that?
44:21 Speaker 00 An omen?
44:21 Speaker 02 Like if you crack a, you know, like we should come up with a proverb, like an Italian one. Like.
44:28 Speaker 00 Yeah, oh yeah.
44:29 Speaker 02 You never really know him till he cracks a wheel.
44:31 Speaker 00 Until he cracks a wheel. Yeah.
44:33 Speaker 01 Yeah, that works. That's a good one.
44:35 Speaker 02 Thanks.
44:36 Speaker 01 Yeah, yeah.
44:36 Speaker 02 What would, which one would you do?
44:38 Speaker 01 I'm not sure I could, I could improve on that, Joy. Um, I mean.
44:43 Speaker 00 You smashed it. You got it first time, I think.
44:45 Speaker 01 Yeah, sometimes you've got to admit, you just get it first time, nothing but net, I think. Nothing but net is, that's my one. I've, I've come up with that.
44:52 Speaker 00 Yeah, yeah.
44:52 Speaker 02 Nothing but net.
44:53 Speaker 01 Yeah, that's me. I, I made that one.
44:54 Speaker 02 Net worth or like.
44:56 Speaker 01 Yeah, yeah, nothing but net worth. That's about, that's about Richard O'Waddy.
44:59 Speaker 00 And his buttery smooth life.
45:00 Speaker 01 It's buttery smooth life.
45:01 Speaker 00 Yeah. Today's episode of the Off Menu Podcast is sponsored by Cozy, the home of possibilities, James. Ah, man, Ed, Cozy has everything you need to make your home feel like it has a plan. Do you know what I mean? I know what you mean. Cozy is a wonderful furniture company. It makes furnishing your whole home easy. Sofas, dining, storage, rugs, bedroom, even outdoor, all designed to make your space feel put together without the usual furniture stress. And James, we talk about dream meals on this podcast, but you know what? We very rarely talk about where we want to eat this dream meal. Sure, yeah, I like it when it does come up. It is very important. It changes the whole meal, the set in, the vibe. And Cozy's modular customizable furniture for the whole home does just that.
45:44 Speaker 00 And the meal, James, doesn't necessarily end at dessert. We've often talked about wanting to take our maybe final course through to a comfy room. And I think this is where Cozy can really come in handy. Go and relax on the sofa, maybe even eat your meal at a lovely, beautiful cozy table. Linger a little bit, move through with coffees and dessert to a lovely couch. But I know what you're like, James. You're a mucky pup. I'm gonna spill stuff everywhere. Is that gonna ruin the Cozy furniture? No, don't worry about that, James, because it's highly washable, James. It's sauce, wine, sparkling water, dessert crumbs, you telling one of your big stories and sloshing a coffee everywhere. Don't worry, you can pop it in the wash. Oh, so you're saying Cozy makes every day at home feel like my best day?
46:24 Speaker 00 Absolutely. That's exactly what I'm saying. And with Cozy, your home can grow with you, adapting to new spaces, new styles and every era of your life, James. I think it's so hard, especially when you move somewhere new, to immediately make that place feel like. Like yours, that it's been put together well. And that's where Cozy comes in.
46:40 Speaker 01 And because it's cozy, the furniture isn't just good looking, but actually practical. Modular pieces, easy assembly, washable and interchangeable covers and free design consultations. If you want help making the whole room work.
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46:59 Speaker 01 Visit Cozy today, that's C O Z E Y dot com and make yourself at home.
47:12 Speaker 00 Side dish.
47:14 Speaker 02 Um. So this was actually really difficult because this is what I was battling with with Maine. But because this is my restaurant, I could do whatever the fuck I want. On my menu, I could do what I want. So um. My favorite Bangladeshi food in the world is called borda, which is like pastes made of anything of your liking. But um. Every paste is dedicated to a like main ingredient. So you can have like a prawn borda, you can have an okra, you can have like classic ones like a lentil or a potato. Bord, but every single um. The the rules of borda is it's made with garlic, onion, sometimes not garlic. Because sometimes it is just all freshly um ground ingredients.
47:55 Speaker 02 And there's always mustard oil in it. So it has like a really strong, like petrol-y taste. And the usual thing that people do is you either roll it up into a ball and have all these different colors in front of you and you just pick at them and eat them with white rice. Or some of them are a bit more like um. My mom makes a tomato one, so it's quite runny. But it's like, it's literally like almost like salsas. But all these things made of really intense flavors. Um. Or you bring out the most intensity of a flavor. So I love prawn, but it isn't like the strongest flavor ever. But when you add like mustard oil and onion and all these things, it's just like exploding with flavor. Um. And you eat it with your hands. So you have to like take it and like cramp it into a kind of ball with with white rice.
48:39 Speaker 02 And it's just like the best thing ever, I think. So that would be the side.
48:43 Speaker 00 So there there are things to go alongside specific ingredients rather than having the ingredients. In them, so the prawn one doesn't have prawn in it, you would just have.
48:50 Speaker 02 No, it has prawn in it.
48:51 Speaker 00 It has prawn in it, okay, yeah, yeah.
48:52 Speaker 02 And it's interesting because you can make it in loads of different ways, but my mum like usually boils the prawn.
48:56 Speaker 00 Yeah.
48:56 Speaker 02 And you get really good prawns, because once you boil them strangely, they have like so much more flavour. And then um you you kind of like really finely chop it or you ground it, yeah.
49:06 Speaker 00 Nice.
49:06 Speaker 01 And you want you want a homemade one of these as well?
49:09 Speaker 02 Yeah.
49:09 Speaker 01 Yeah, yeah.
49:10 Speaker 02 Yeah.
49:10 Speaker 01 But not by?
49:11 Speaker 02 John Cena.
49:12 Speaker 00 No, John Cena.
49:13 Speaker 02 John Cena's not me.
49:14 Speaker 00 John Cena does not know how to do this.
49:15 Speaker 02 No, it would probably be my mum to be honest, but like my mum on a good day.
49:21 Speaker 00 What's gonna happen on a bad day?
49:23 Speaker 02 I just feel like, I feel like someone, so there is someone that wrote a book about this, but when people cook when they're mad, you can taste it, I think.
49:30 Speaker 00 That's interesting, yeah.
49:32 Speaker 02 I really can taste it. My mum's a chef, but like basically it's really complicated to explain my mum's chefing because she's not gone to culinary school. But my mum's like one of those weird people that is like pitch perfect in food.
49:42 Speaker 00 Mm hmm.
49:43 Speaker 02 So she can taste food and completely make the same thing.
49:47 Speaker 00 Mm hmm.
49:47 Speaker 02 For any cuisine.
49:48 Speaker 00 Wow.
49:49 Speaker 02 It's really weird. And she's cooked since I think she was way too young, like I think she might have been cooking for her family when she was like seven or something. And her dad died really young, so she had three brothers that were all fucking useless that she cooked for, and she was the youngest. So her cooking is just like, people come from Bangladesh to my mum's house in West London to eat her Bangladeshi food because she makes it better than most people in Bangladesh.
50:12 Speaker 00 But they have to call ahead and check to see if she's in a good mood or not.
50:15 Speaker 02 I don't know if they check that, but she's like, they're so happy to see her and she's so happy to see them, it's fine. But obviously, daughter mum relationship is a bit different.
50:21 Speaker 00 Sure.
50:22 Speaker 02 Yeah.
50:22 Speaker 00 So what's the difference in taste, would you say?
50:25 Speaker 02 Don't know, it just doesn't slap the same way.
50:26 Speaker 00 Yeah, yeah.
50:27 Speaker 02 Like, there's just like, or actually, one time we got in an argument when I was young and she said, oh, do you want a carbonara? And I was like, yeah, yeah, I'd love one, actually. And then she cut up nag- naga chili and put it all over the carbonara.
50:40 Speaker 00 Yeah, you can tell that one.
50:41 Speaker 01 Yeah, you can taste she was in a bad mood, yeah.
50:44 Speaker 02 Also, the whole thing is like with carbonara, you won't, you won't expect that it's spicy.
50:48 Speaker 00 So it's the not knowing. If it was a curry, I'd be like, oh no, this one's gonna be spicy.
50:52 Speaker 02 But it's the fact that it was a fucking carbonara, you know?
50:56 Speaker 00 The bland, the blandness.
50:56 Speaker 02 That's like daylight robbery, you know? And then that's like the louvre just happening on a plate.
51:01 Speaker 00 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
51:02 Speaker 02 And, and she's gone and put the fucking naga all over it. And then I've started crying, then I got a pint of milk and drank it. And then I threw up everywhere, because I don't know if you've ever dabbled in naga chili, but it's not a joke.
51:15 Speaker 00 I've dabbled.
51:16 Speaker 01 I've dabbled, I've not had as much as it sounds like was on that unexpectedly as well.
51:21 Speaker 00 Yeah.
51:21 Speaker 02 Because you just cut it in small bits. If you bite into even the smallest amount, you're finished. That's you, finito for about two days. Forget it. Forget everything. Every hole broken.
51:32 Speaker 01 Yep, every hole broken. See, if that was a song title, it'd sound poetic.
51:37 Speaker 00 Yeah.
51:38 Speaker 02 Yeah.
51:39 Speaker 01 But it's not.
51:39 Speaker 02 Every hole broken.
51:41 Speaker 01 Yeah, yeah.
51:41 Speaker 00 Every hole?
51:42 Speaker 01 Yeah.
51:43 Speaker 00 Ear holes, how are your ear holes?
51:45 Speaker 02 Your ears would be broken too, because your sinuses are fucked, don't they have that much chili?
51:49 Speaker 01 Yeah, ears stuff.
51:49 Speaker 02 Like, just everything, like your equestrian tubes or whatever they're called, equestrian or whatever.
51:54 Speaker 00 Equestrian tubes.
51:55 Speaker 02 The tubes in your ears.
51:56 Speaker 00 Stick it in the book, if you're listening, stick it in the book.
51:59 Speaker 02 That's what all my mates do, they text them like she's said another fucking thing.
52:03 Speaker 01 Well, I mean, this, this episode's gonna be a fucking field, Dave. It'll be a whole new book, it's just for the.
52:10 Speaker 02 What are these not called? Your ubiquitous or something?
52:13 Speaker 01 I've got no idea.
52:15 Speaker 02 You know the tubes here? The tubes behind your ears?
52:18 Speaker 01 Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know what they're called.
52:19 Speaker 02 There's a tube, there's a tube name.
52:22 Speaker 00 There's a tube name and it's really nice that you're trying to guess the tube name, but I don't think we're gonna get there. Equestrian or ubiquitous, I think are the guesses so far. If you eat the naga, even your ear holes are fucked.
52:32 Speaker 02 Oh yeah, it's game over.
52:38 Speaker 01 Your dream drink.
52:40 Speaker 02 Well, I think during a meal, like a vodka diet coke and then after an old fashioned.
52:46 Speaker 01 Okay, lovely. So why vodka diet coke for during the meal?
52:50 Speaker 02 Cause you need a fizzy drink.
52:51 Speaker 01 Are you?
52:52 Speaker 00 You need a fizzy drink.
52:53 Speaker 02 Yeah, like you know when you're thirsty and you could go for water, but you're gonna go for the coke zero in your fridge.
52:58 Speaker 00 Absolutely.
52:59 Speaker 02 Or Pepsi Max, actually. Forget, forget coke, we don't drink coke.
53:02 Speaker 01 No.
53:03 Speaker 02 Pepsi Max, yeah.
53:04 Speaker 01 Pepsi Max.
53:05 Speaker 00 At the moment as well, like I get to the end of the day, I'm like, every time I was thirsty, I reached for a fizzy drink. And I've not had one bit of clear liquid today.
53:13 Speaker 02 I think that's why they've started doing the whole like mixing sparkling water with peach.
53:16 Speaker 00 Yeah.
53:17 Speaker 02 Cause then it makes you feel like you're having a fizzy drink, but I'm not gonna fall for that stuff. Hand me the vodka diet coke.
53:23 Speaker 00 Yeah.
53:24 Speaker 02 And the vodka's just, you know, like so you can continue good chit chat on the dinner table, cause I tend to dissociate on dinner tables.
53:31 Speaker 01 Uh huh. How come? Too much going on?
53:33 Speaker 02 Food is so good. I like to go quiet for food, then I feel a bit slumped. My dad always taught me if you're ever gonna sack someone, eat a massive meal beforehand.
53:43 Speaker 01 When you're sacking someone?
53:44 Speaker 02 Yeah.
53:45 Speaker 01 Yeah.
53:45 Speaker 00 Well, you're eating a massive meal before you sack them.
53:47 Speaker 02 Yeah, cause it's like being high, but without any of the actual drugs.
53:52 Speaker 00 But why, why is it when you're sacking someone that you wanna be in that state?
53:55 Speaker 02 Cause then it's so stressful to do it then. By the time you've just eaten a load of food, you're just like, no, right?
54:00 Speaker 00 What about them?
54:01 Speaker 02 And I'm breaking up with someone too, it's good. Any difficult conversation, it's good to have a big meal before.
54:05 Speaker 00 Yeah.
54:05 Speaker 02 My dad always said.
54:07 Speaker 01 I'd be quite, I'd be quite insulted if like someone was breaking up with me or firing me and they were all bloated and like.
54:14 Speaker 00 Blipping out their nose.
54:15 Speaker 02 But how would you know? Blipping out the nose, fine, you would know, but you wouldn't know about the bloating. They could be wearing a big jumper like me.
54:20 Speaker 01 If they were acting like lethargic and just like, oh, okay, listen, um.
54:26 Speaker 00 I've wanted to say this for a while, but uh.
54:29 Speaker 01 It's not working out, we've just got to go a second one. I think we've grown a fart. Like, I'd be like, what the hell?
54:34 Speaker 00 Still got a napkin tucked in.
54:35 Speaker 01 Yeah, dabbing the corners of their mouth. So anyway, I wish you all the best.
54:40 Speaker 02 Just a small, tiny, little fart.
54:43 Speaker 01 Yeah, tiny little fart.
54:44 Speaker 02 And it's the type of fart where you could look down at the furniture on and be like, God, this is noisy.
54:49 Speaker 01 Yeah, it's a flavor on the furniture.
54:50 Speaker 02 Yeah, flavor on the furniture fart.
54:52 Speaker 01 Yeah, yeah, one of those. I mean, I, I, I think actually that, that I would, if I was getting broken up with, if I was getting dumped, I would like it if during the dumping,
55:03 Speaker 00 They would.
55:03 Speaker 01 they audibly farted. Because that would make me feel like, oh, do you know what? There, let's get out of here.
55:09 Speaker 02 But what if farting was the idiosyncrasy that you fell in love with?
55:12 Speaker 00 Yeah.
55:13 Speaker 01 Oh, that's a big wife. That's a huge wife. I mean.
55:16 Speaker 00 Do you have a problem with farting then?
55:17 Speaker 01 No, but like, I think it would, I think in the breakup.
55:20 Speaker 00 Yeah.
55:21 Speaker 01 It would make me feel better about being broken up with.
55:23 Speaker 02 But everybody queefs sometimes.
55:25 Speaker 00 Everybody queefs sometimes.
55:26 Speaker 01 Everybody queefs some, I mean, a queef is different to, but like, yeah, uh.
55:30 Speaker 00 Some people queef.
55:32 Speaker 02 It's a funny fart.
55:32 Speaker 01 I'm aware, for, for the, for the.
55:35 Speaker 00 So everybody doesn't queef.
55:36 Speaker 01 But if it.
55:37 Speaker 00 Those who have the equipment queef.
55:39 Speaker 02 Yeah.
55:39 Speaker 00 Yeah.
55:40 Speaker 01 I think it would make me, uh, it would remind me that, you know what? Nobody's perfect. Cause when you, when you're getting broken up with, I think it's very easy to think, what am I gonna do without this person? They're so amazing and now I'm getting dumped and I'm the one getting dumped. So I'm clearly the one who's all, I've got all the, the faults. But then when someone farts, it's not like that makes them a bad person, but it reminds me, you know, they're just a human being.
56:02 Speaker 00 Yeah.
56:03 Speaker 02 Yeah, and you can't worship anyone.
56:05 Speaker 01 You can't worship anyone?
56:06 Speaker 02 Yeah.
56:06 Speaker 00 I don't think the farts would stop me worshipping someone.
56:09 Speaker 02 No, I think it would make me probably fancy them a bit more.
56:12 Speaker 01 There you go.
56:13 Speaker 00 My wife farts, you know, I'll put it out there. She's got.
56:15 Speaker 01 Wow.
56:15 Speaker 00 She's got Irish buttie syndrome.
56:17 Speaker 01 That's an exclusive.
56:17 Speaker 02 Oh, yeah. But I'm sure they all smell like flowers.
56:20 Speaker 00 No, awful.
56:21 Speaker 02 Or like the labo.
56:22 Speaker 00 No, they smell awful joy.
56:24 Speaker 02 What, they're not diptyque farts?
56:25 Speaker 00 They're not diptyque farts, no.
56:27 Speaker 02 That's a shame.
56:29 Speaker 00 It's mad like the labo. We'd be in an awkward situation where I'd be like, I'm going out, come over here and fart on my neck.
56:37 Speaker 02 That's called a kink.
56:38 Speaker 00 Yeah.
56:39 Speaker 02 And I think I, if I had to have any fart smell that I wanted, in fact, that looks a bit like a fart at that table, just an F.
56:46 Speaker 00 It doesn't look like it, it doesn't look like a fart table.
56:49 Speaker 01 Beano guff.
56:51 Speaker 02 It does look very Beano, doesn't it?
56:53 Speaker 01 Yeah, from a Beano.
56:53 Speaker 02 I think my farts would smell like, um, maybe like heckles, like, you know, like a Margate.
57:00 Speaker 00 Yeah, yeah.
57:00 Speaker 02 Seamus kind of like.
57:02 Speaker 00 Like heckles?
57:03 Speaker 02 Yeah.
57:03 Speaker 00 Formerly known as heckles, they're not known as heckles anymore.
57:05 Speaker 02 Sorry.
57:06 Speaker 01 What, what is it? What's that?
57:07 Speaker 00 It's a skincare brand.
57:09 Speaker 02 Skincare.
57:09 Speaker 01 Oh, okay.
57:10 Speaker 00 I'd used all my heckle stuff today.
57:11 Speaker 01 I couldn't use heckles.
57:13 Speaker 00 Why not?
57:13 Speaker 01 Comedian. Medium man.
57:18 Speaker 02 That was very funny.
57:21 Speaker 01 Thank you.
57:21 Speaker 00 You wouldn't last long on Don't Laugh, Don't Laugh.
57:23 Speaker 02 My name is Joy. I should never be on that fucking show. That would be terrible. I want to be on Traitors.
57:28 Speaker 01 But your name is also Crooks. Maybe you'd steal the show.
57:32 Speaker 02 I want to be on Traitors though, for that reason.
57:34 Speaker 01 I want to be on the next Traitors as well. Shall we go on it together?
57:36 Speaker 02 Yeah, can we say, look, two for the price of one?
57:39 Speaker 00 I'm not interviewing either of you afterwards.
57:41 Speaker 02 Why?
57:42 Speaker 00 No way.
57:42 Speaker 01 Why not?
57:43 Speaker 00 Cause you're both, you both take conversations off in two weird directions.
57:47 Speaker 01 Well, we're gonna win.
57:47 Speaker 02 That's all, that's what life is about though.
57:49 Speaker 00 Yeah, that's true.
57:50 Speaker 01 I think we would be chosen as the traitors.
57:52 Speaker 02 I think we'd be so good as traitors.
57:54 Speaker 01 Yeah, yeah.
57:54 Speaker 00 I think.
57:55 Speaker 02 I'd like semi-bully you, so we look like we weren't on the same.
57:58 Speaker 01 Yep.
57:58 Speaker 02 Page, when actually we're homies in those cloaks.
58:02 Speaker 01 Who would our third one be? Dream celebrity to make up the traitors. You, me?
58:07 Speaker 02 Jesus Christ.
58:12 Speaker 02 We could get away with so much.
58:14 Speaker 00 If Jesus Christ was on the Traitors, he'd be voted out straight away. He'd be banished immediately.
58:18 Speaker 02 They'd be like, look, he's all about this like.
58:20 Speaker 00 Yeah.
58:21 Speaker 02 Higher spirit kind of thing. I don't know, I'm not buying it. I think it's a bit performative, actually.
58:27 Speaker 00 He's a performative male.
58:27 Speaker 02 He's a performative male. And also, why is your hair that long, like?
58:31 Speaker 00 What are you hiding?
58:32 Speaker 02 You look like you're on a Bush Tucker trial. And for that reason, I'm voting Jesus Christ. And he goes up and he goes, I am a faithful.
58:41 Speaker 00 No, he's a tra, he's a traitor all day long. Cause they'd be going like, obviously, production are gonna make Jesus Christ a traitor. It's good telly.
58:47 Speaker 01 Yeah.
58:47 Speaker 02 Yeah, that is good television.
58:48 Speaker 00 Yeah.
58:49 Speaker 02 But the BBC would get in trouble for that and BBC don't like any trouble.
58:55 Speaker 02 No trouble for the BBC.
58:57 Speaker 01 Yeah.
58:58 Speaker 00 Kind of happens either way, doesn't it? Because they get accused of being too left and too right.
59:02 Speaker 01 Yeah.
59:02 Speaker 00 The comments, the comments would all be, oh, you wouldn't make Mohammed traitor? That's what people would say, isn't it?
59:09 Speaker 01 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
59:10 Speaker 02 One hundred percent.
59:13 Speaker 00 Mohammed's just chilling out on the round table, trying to.
59:16 Speaker 01 Yeah, doing great.
59:17 Speaker 00 Yeah, doing great.
59:18 Speaker 01 It was like Mohammed's leader of the faithful.
59:20 Speaker 00 Yeah.
59:21 Speaker 01 I thought he was Fry was.
59:25 Speaker 00 We've got to make this happen.
59:26 Speaker 01 We've got to make this.
59:27 Speaker 00 It's going to take a lot to make this happen, but I think we can make it happen.
59:29 Speaker 02 With AI, anything is possible.
59:31 Speaker 00 Yeah, that's true.
59:32 Speaker 01 Let's talk about the old fashioned quickly before we get on to the dessert. Because, I mean, obviously, a lovely cocktail, is there anything for you that makes a great old fashioned that you look for? Or you're disappointed when you have a bad one?
59:43 Speaker 02 Can't be Scottish. I go, no, I need the Irish stuff.
59:46 Speaker 01 Yeah.
59:47 Speaker 02 Yeah.
59:47 Speaker 01 Is there a particular brand?
59:49 Speaker 02 I could do Jameson's, honestly, yeah. I'm fine with like just the good old, obviously like people have like the Japanese thing where they're like, oh, I know about whiskey and da, da, da, da. And I'm like, it just gets you licked quicker, doesn't it? It's just even more drunky, like drunky vibes, you know? And I'm sure it's like good stuff and obviously like whiskey connoisseurs will have something to say, but are either of you whiskey connoisseurs?
1:00:10 Speaker 00 No, I'd say, but I'd say bourbon and an old fashioned, no.
1:00:13 Speaker 02 Is that American?
1:00:14 Speaker 00 Yeah.
1:00:14 Speaker 02 Yeah.
1:00:15 Speaker 00 Not interested?
1:00:16 Speaker 02 No, bourbon, no. I just do Jameson's, nice ice cube.
1:00:21 Speaker 00 Yeah, big, are we talking big?
1:00:23 Speaker 02 I always test the ice cube because you know when they're massive? I like to see how much they've actually poured, so I'll always pull it out on the bar.
1:00:29 Speaker 00 It's mad, isn't it?
1:00:30 Speaker 02 It's big carrying energy for me, but I just pull the ice cube out and I go, you're joking. Or I go, oh, that's nice.
1:00:37 Speaker 00 Because it's all, it's, it's very rarely that much. You pull it out.
1:00:40 Speaker 02 In a packet of crisps, you know what I mean? It's ridiculous.
1:00:43 Speaker 00 You pull it out and you're like, well, I'm paying like 15 quid for this.
1:00:47 Speaker 02 Literally.
1:00:48 Speaker 00 So have you ever pulled it out and gone top that up before I put that back in?
1:00:52 Speaker 02 I've pulled it out and just been like. It's a shame, isn't it?
1:00:57 Speaker 00 How did they respond to that?
1:00:58 Speaker 02 Well, I think like, I think it's a shame, isn't it? It doesn't sound accusatory. It just sounds like our suffering is shed.
1:01:05 Speaker 00 Yeah.
1:01:05 Speaker 02 And then they pour it.
1:01:06 Speaker 00 Yeah, yeah.
1:01:07 Speaker 02 Psychologically, that's more the alleyway I would go down rather than what are you doing? You know, because then you're accusing, so then they're going to defend. And then they'll probably spit in your next one. Whereas like, they might not top up that one, but then the next one you get, they're like, I've poured in some extra just for you.
1:01:22 Speaker 00 Yeah.
1:01:23 Speaker 02 Because I know, I know how it feels.
1:01:25 Speaker 00 That's nice. I think it's easy to spot spit in an old fashioned though, I reckon.
1:01:28 Speaker 02 You say that.
1:01:30 Speaker 00 Yeah.
1:01:30 Speaker 02 But you just don't know.
1:01:33 Speaker 02 Just don't know. They could literally like, they could put it like anywhere, could put it underneath the ice cube, then it's hidden.
1:01:39 Speaker 00 True freezer.
1:01:40 Speaker 02 Put it on the ice cube.
1:01:42 Speaker 01 So they get the ice cube, turn it upside down, gob on it.
1:01:45 Speaker 02 Yeah.
1:01:45 Speaker 01 And then put it in the drink.
1:01:46 Speaker 02 Literally.
1:01:47 Speaker 01 Yeah.
1:01:48 Speaker 00 That's actually the best way to do it.
1:01:49 Speaker 02 Yeah.
1:01:50 Speaker 00 You've thought about this.
1:01:51 Speaker 01 Or just, you could just spit in the water that you're freezing to make the ice cubes and have two jars of ice cubes or big tanks of ice cubes.
1:01:59 Speaker 00 Yeah.
1:01:59 Speaker 01 And one you know is the gob water that you've gobb'd in all morning. And the other one is the clean water. And it depends on if you like the custom or not, you give them a spit one or a clean one.
1:02:09 Speaker 02 Yeah, that's cool.
1:02:10 Speaker 01 And then they're never going to know, you don't even have to do it while you're at work.
1:02:12 Speaker 02 Lacing ice cubes is a pretty sick idea, to be fair.
1:02:15 Speaker 01 Yeah.
1:02:16 Speaker 02 Not that I'd ever do anything like that.
1:02:18 Speaker 00 My friend found a fingernail in an ice cube once.
1:02:20 Speaker 02 That's fucking disgusting.
1:02:21 Speaker 00 Yeah, it wasn't, he wasn't happy about it.
1:02:23 Speaker 02 That's, oh my god, that made like, oh no, no, no, no, no, no.
1:02:28 Speaker 00 No, no, no, someone's genuine fingernail.
1:02:29 Speaker 02 Oh, that made me feel really weird.
1:02:31 Speaker 00 Yeah, yeah.
1:02:35 Speaker 01 We arrive at your dream dessert.
1:02:37 Speaker 02 Honestly, I thought of like, really like, you know, doing like a pick mix type of vibe. Um, like obviously free because pick mix should be, I mean, at least is for me last time I went to view.
1:02:48 Speaker 01 You nicked it.
1:02:50 Speaker 02 Don't be a fed.
1:02:52 Speaker 00 James, I've always said this about you, don't be a fed man.
1:02:55 Speaker 01 I'd love to be a fed.
1:02:58 Speaker 00 You'd love to be a fed?
1:02:59 Speaker 01 If I got to live my life again.
1:03:01 Speaker 00 Yeah.
1:03:02 Speaker 01 I'd be a fed.
1:03:02 Speaker 02 I know exactly what type of fed you'd be.
1:03:04 Speaker 01 Or a narc or something.
1:03:05 Speaker 00 Yeah.
1:03:05 Speaker 02 I know exactly what kind of fed you'd be. You have all the like, you know, the big vest and the fucking hat and the they're like, oh, I'm the face and oh, I was, I was wronged. And then, um, you'd be at carnival and just be getting a dirty wine from some girl and you'd have to do the face. You look like you're not actually enjoying it secretly. You'd be like, you'd do like the Thierry Henry laugh where he laughs. Like this. Never seen that.
1:03:29 Speaker 01 No, but like, I definitely wouldn't be the kind of fed who goes and cracks down on carnival.
1:03:35 Speaker 00 No, but they're not cracking down on carnival.
1:03:37 Speaker 02 Down on carnival. You're just catching.
1:03:38 Speaker 01 I've got to be there to keep.
1:03:39 Speaker 02 Frequent wines.
1:03:40 Speaker 01 I meant, I meant to be there to keep the peace, am I?
1:03:42 Speaker 00 Yeah, but then you enjoy, like every year, there's a fed that goes viral.
1:03:46 Speaker 02 Yeah.
1:03:46 Speaker 01 Is there?
1:03:47 Speaker 02 Cause he's just, someone's dirty dancing on him.
1:03:49 Speaker 00 And then someone would be like, see, the police are all right. Aren't they? You're like, no, that's what they want you to think. That's why they sent that guy in there.
1:03:54 Speaker 02 You'd be that one.
1:03:55 Speaker 01 Performative fed.
1:03:56 Speaker 00 Yeah.
1:03:57 Speaker 01 Yeah. Oh, no. I'm worried about that. I, I, I'd like, I prefer to be, I, I, I think I was thinking about the feds in like American films and stuff where they turn up and go, this is our crime scene now.
1:04:07 Speaker 00 Yeah.
1:04:07 Speaker 01 You know, and like they.
1:04:08 Speaker 00 It's cause fed's an American.
1:04:10 Speaker 02 And like hand it over.
1:04:10 Speaker 01 I would love that. Or the, the ones who turn up and like the, the cops hate them because they turn up and go, we're the feds. This is our crime scene now. And, and like, we're just tread, treading all over that. The, the protagonist cops have already made quite a good case and they're on to something.
1:04:25 Speaker 00 Yeah.
1:04:25 Speaker 01 And then the feds turn up and just ruin it and go like, yeah, this is, cause with their whole ego, I'd like to be that kind of fed.
1:04:30 Speaker 00 Yeah, but you'd like slip on the blood and all your trousers would fall down and stuff, right?
1:04:33 Speaker 02 I could actually see you being a shit detective.
1:04:36 Speaker 00 Yeah.
1:04:36 Speaker 02 But like one that, like one that has, you could make a show actually, and you could just pretend to be a detective, like a comedian turned detective.
1:04:43 Speaker 01 Hmm. Yeah.
1:04:44 Speaker 02 That I would pay to see there.
1:04:45 Speaker 01 Hmm. So I could be that I'm a comedian, but I'm also a.
1:04:49 Speaker 02 Well, no, like you could use some of your skills from comedy.
1:04:52 Speaker 01 Yes.
1:04:52 Speaker 02 To unravel crime.
1:04:53 Speaker 01 Oh, I see.
1:04:54 Speaker 02 Yeah. And like also, cause com- com- comedy, I was gonna say comedy is so, um, disarming. You could end up really getting behind, behind the mind of crazy killers.
1:05:05 Speaker 01 I think, yeah. I, I, I think that's a, I think that's a great.
1:05:09 Speaker 02 They were having a pint with you.
1:05:10 Speaker 01 I think we need a different comedian, cause I think this is a brilliant idea, Joy, but, um, I've never found my comedy to be disarming.
1:05:18 Speaker 02 You'd be surprised though, if you ever brought it into a small room that's locked.
1:05:21 Speaker 00 With a murderer.
1:05:22 Speaker 02 With a man in, in orange.
1:05:24 Speaker 01 Good, good point. I haven't tried it on, on anyone like that yet.
1:05:28 Speaker 02 I find your comedy disarming in a good way. Like, in a way that's like.
1:05:32 Speaker 01 Puts people on the back foot.
1:05:33 Speaker 02 Yeah, but I quite, I quite like that.
1:05:35 Speaker 00 Yeah, I wouldn't say you're not disarming. I'm not, I don't think you're arming.
1:05:37 Speaker 01 Gets under people's skin.
1:05:38 Speaker 00 No, I don't think so.
1:05:39 Speaker 02 Yeah, but I like that. That's so good. And that's how you get under the skin of a killer.
1:05:44 Speaker 00 Yes.
1:05:44 Speaker 01 Yeah, I could get under the skin of a killer.
1:05:46 Speaker 02 Yeah.
1:05:47 Speaker 01 Well, I'd happily try, yeah, if anyone's listening, any like TV commissioners or anything and they wanna make the show where I'm basically me.
1:05:55 Speaker 02 Yeah.
1:05:55 Speaker 01 But I've become a cop and I'm using my comedy skills to solve crimes. I'm up for that.
1:05:59 Speaker 00 A scripted thing, or are we talking about you genuinely going to interview killers?
1:06:03 Speaker 01 Either one. I'll do a scripted thing, but I will also do like a, yeah, like I'm, I'm going around and doing it in real life.
1:06:10 Speaker 00 Yeah.
1:06:10 Speaker 02 Yeah, I think you should do it in real life. I also think that there will be a time in your journey where someone will think that you actually are a bad dude, so you'll get in an almost fight. But then the almost fight will be like when Robin Williams finally cracks Matt Damon in Good Will Hunting.
1:06:31 Speaker 01 It's not your fault.
1:06:32 Speaker 02 It's not your fault. And the criminal will just be like, you just get it, man. And then it will be like this really compelling story. And you'll be like, Harold is this like British comedian detective hero and we'll find it hard to like get hold of you.
1:06:48 Speaker 01 I won't reply to that anymore.
1:06:49 Speaker 02 Nah.
1:06:50 Speaker 01 Oh man, I long for that day.
1:06:53 Speaker 02 Here's your way out.
1:06:54 Speaker 00 Yeah, you've got to do quite a lot of stuff before that can happen.
1:06:57 Speaker 01 Yeah.
1:06:57 Speaker 00 And it has to go exactly the way Joy said it would.
1:07:00 Speaker 02 It has to, yeah.
1:07:01 Speaker 01 It does have to.
1:07:02 Speaker 00 Yeah.
1:07:02 Speaker 02 I could be like a co-writer if you want, just saying.
1:07:04 Speaker 01 Hmm. You're the good creator of this.
1:07:06 Speaker 00 Yeah. You're the showrunner.
1:07:08 Speaker 01 You'd be everything. I mean, you know, there's, there's nothing that you wouldn't be across, I think.
1:07:11 Speaker 02 We should get like a reform voter in there and you getting behind, behind the mind of a reform voter.
1:07:17 Speaker 00 Someone from Mighty White.
1:07:18 Speaker 02 From, someone from Mighty White.
1:07:20 Speaker 01 Mighty White?
1:07:20 Speaker 02 Yeah. And just you really getting to the bottom of things.
1:07:24 Speaker 01 I, I, I thought about this recently because my hometown of Kettering, which I love.
1:07:29 Speaker 02 Kettering?
1:07:30 Speaker 01 Kettering, yeah, in, in, um, Northamptonshire.
1:07:33 Speaker 02 Oh, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. I love it there.
1:07:36 Speaker 01 Well, Joy, it's, it's currently.
1:07:38 Speaker 02 It doesn't love you.
1:07:42 Speaker 01 It's got the most flags out of anywhere at the minute.
1:07:44 Speaker 02 Oh, fuck.
1:07:44 Speaker 01 It's, it's quite upsetting going back there. It's, it's absolutely.
1:07:48 Speaker 00 English flags, right? Not flags of the world.
1:07:50 Speaker 01 Not flags of the world. I would love that.
1:07:52 Speaker 02 Couple Georgian flags.
1:07:53 Speaker 00 Yeah, yeah, a couple Georgian flags.
1:07:54 Speaker 01 It's bonkers. It looks insane. Like, I think even, even like the most far right of people must see Kaitlyn and go, that's a mess. You've got to get rid of those. There's too many flags.
1:08:05 Speaker 02 Is it really that bad?
1:08:06 Speaker 01 It's awful. And I'll have thought about going to Kaitlyn and doing a little chat with people and filming it.
1:08:12 Speaker 02 I think you should.
1:08:13 Speaker 01 I just tried to understand what's going on. Well, not understand. I feel like I do understand.
1:08:17 Speaker 02 Well, one of my favourite videos of that was a fellow that dressed up in a Union Jack suit and he named all of Nigel Farage's policies.
1:08:25 Speaker 01 Hmm.
1:08:25 Speaker 02 But without telling the people he was speaking to that they were Nigel Farage policies. And they were just like, oh, that sounds terrible. This sounds terrible. Oh, my God, that's awful. He tells all these things to people and then they're like, that sounds terrible. I'd never vote whoever came up with those policies. And then he goes, oh, it's the Nigel Farage's policies.
1:08:43 Speaker 01 And then they go, I'm going to still win a vote for him.
1:08:45 Speaker 00 Yeah, yeah.
1:08:45 Speaker 02 Yeah, I like it.
1:08:46 Speaker 01 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
1:08:47 Speaker 02 And then the leader of the Green Party does the same as well.
1:08:50 Speaker 01 Uh huh.
1:08:51 Speaker 02 He goes to like places that are highly reform. But I think as a comedian, that would be sick.
1:08:55 Speaker 01 I might chat to them more. I did a few things in Kaitlyn in the past and chatted to them. So they.
1:08:59 Speaker 00 You know how Nico Almelana did a video? Did you see Nico's video?
1:09:03 Speaker 01 Didn't see this.
1:09:04 Speaker 00 He went, um, but he like had to, he wore like basically like a white mask to go and do it. Like he was all whited up and speaking to them as if he was like.
1:09:12 Speaker 01 Oh.
1:09:13 Speaker 00 You'd have to do it, but I want you to white up as well.
1:09:16 Speaker 01 Man, I'll be transparent. Oh.
1:09:19 Speaker 01 If I get any whiter, I'm a goddamn ghost.
1:09:23 Speaker 00 And that'd freak them the fuck out. Yeah. It'd be nice to show them something that's too white for them.
1:09:27 Speaker 02 Yeah, that's, that's a really good perspective. Why's no one ever thought of that?
1:09:31 Speaker 01 This is bad if we go this direction with the country.
1:09:33 Speaker 02 I really like that. That's a really good idea.
1:09:35 Speaker 00 Yeah.
1:09:36 Speaker 02 Fuck. It's one way to solve everything.
1:09:38 Speaker 00 You want everyone in England to be white? Well, bad luck. Everyone's ghosts.
1:09:42 Speaker 02 Have a look at this.
1:09:43 Speaker 00 Yeah, you're going to be spooked to fuck every day.
1:09:48 Speaker 01 It's very spooky.
1:09:49 Speaker 00 Yeah.
1:09:50 Speaker 02 So good.
1:09:52 Speaker 01 Okay, well, I'll do that.
1:09:53 Speaker 00 Okay, thank you.
1:09:54 Speaker 02 Did I say the dessert?
1:09:55 Speaker 00 Nope.
1:09:55 Speaker 01 No, we've talked about reform.
1:09:59 Speaker 01 To be honest, I think all three of us have been quite restrained.
1:10:01 Speaker 00 Yeah.
1:10:02 Speaker 02 When you, when you said, why do you like vodka diet coke? This is why. This is why. And so for me, dessert is sprinkle cake and custard.
1:10:14 Speaker 01 Nice.
1:10:14 Speaker 02 And that is the biggest fuck you to Jamie Oliver I can think of, apart from tacky twizzlers.
1:10:19 Speaker 01 He's getting it, he's getting it in the neck again, Oliver.
1:10:22 Speaker 00 So like, school dinners, sprinkle cake and custard.
1:10:26 Speaker 02 Yeah.
1:10:26 Speaker 00 Custard with the skin on that they have to just like drill through with a big spoon?
1:10:30 Speaker 02 No, not with the skin on.
1:10:32 Speaker 00 Well, that's what it was like at school though, right?
1:10:33 Speaker 02 No, I don't know about your school, but my school was a little bit better than that.
1:10:36 Speaker 00 Okay, pink custard? Did you have the pink custard?
1:10:38 Speaker 02 No, I've had it before.
1:10:40 Speaker 00 Yeah.
1:10:40 Speaker 02 It was like custard angel or something, I think it was called, but no, I just liked the normal ambrosia one.
1:10:44 Speaker 00 Yeah.
1:10:44 Speaker 02 But yeah, for me, sprinkle cake and custard. I would like to say something way posher and a souffle with a, a kool aid with a, whatever the fucking words. I have to use Google Translate every time I go into a restaurant these days. It's like, what?
1:10:58 Speaker 00 Yeah.
1:10:58 Speaker 02 And for me, sprinkle cake and custard, it just makes my soul happy and reminds me who I am. And that's the shit that I loved growing up.
1:11:05 Speaker 01 It's great, this is basically, I think the only time we've ever kicked a guest out of the dream restaurant for saying the secret ingredient was Jade Adams for basically picking this. So it's great that you've picked it and Jade will have to like, deal with the fact that someone else got to go on the podcast, have her dream dessert.
1:11:19 Speaker 00 Yeah.
1:11:19 Speaker 01 And didn't get kicked out. And that will be like, probably annoy her even more.
1:11:22 Speaker 02 I just think in this time, it would look bad on you guys to kick me out.
1:11:26 Speaker 01 We're not gonna kick you out, it's not the secret ingredient for your one, so it's fine.
1:11:28 Speaker 00 Also, what you said, you said, I don't want anything posh, I just want the sprinkle cake and custard. I want souffle, kool aid, whatever, I have to use Google Translate every time I go into a restaurant. I think you could go to a reform march, you'd probably get on with those guys.
1:11:40 Speaker 02 I really hate you for saying that, because I knew it sounded like that when I said the Google Translate bit.
1:11:44 Speaker 01 You got you.
1:11:45 Speaker 02 But if you're listening, I'm not white.
1:11:51 Speaker 01 It's very important to know if you are just, if you're just a listener.
1:11:56 Speaker 00 We should cut that out, put it at the beginning.
1:11:57 Speaker 02 No, no, no, no.
1:11:59 Speaker 01 Yeah, put it at the beginning so people know.
1:12:00 Speaker 02 I know, I think you should just cut up everything we said today, like Mighty White.
1:12:04 Speaker 01 Yeah.
1:12:04 Speaker 02 Um, Ritzman sausage and Lycra.
1:12:07 Speaker 01 Yeah.
1:12:07 Speaker 02 Um, just like add one like sexual thing, cause that's always good for, you know, like rage, clickbaiting.
1:12:12 Speaker 01 Yeah.
1:12:12 Speaker 02 And then like just um, Google translating every da, da, da.
1:12:16 Speaker 01 Yeah.
1:12:16 Speaker 02 Kettering, I love kettering.
1:12:18 Speaker 01 Yeah.
1:12:18 Speaker 02 And like just all those things I said that could be like misconstrued as me being a Reform voter.
1:12:22 Speaker 01 Yeah, yeah.
1:12:23 Speaker 02 And just take it from there.
1:12:25 Speaker 01 And do that as the trailer, like the big trailer. Yeah, the super.
1:12:28 Speaker 02 Yeah, exactly. And just like anytime my face has wandered off, just get that face.
1:12:32 Speaker 01 Yeah.
1:12:33 Speaker 02 I could do one right now. I love sprinkle cake and custard.
1:12:38 Speaker 01 Thank you for getting us back on track.
1:12:39 Speaker 02 No, I just thought about it. It just makes me so happy.
1:12:41 Speaker 01 Temperature wise, how hot are we talking?
1:12:44 Speaker 02 Lukewarm.
1:12:45 Speaker 01 Lukewarm.
1:12:46 Speaker 00 Both the cake and the custard or just the custard?
1:12:48 Speaker 02 I don't think you can have lukewarm sprinkle cake, cause unless, cause then the sprinkle, the icing will melt.
1:12:54 Speaker 00 That's true, but you could have a little bit of melt here if you put it in the microwave.
1:12:57 Speaker 02 I don't want it to melt though.
1:12:58 Speaker 00 No.
1:12:58 Speaker 02 I don't mind if the cake is warm, but I don't want the sprinkle, the, the, I don't like the idea of that. Cause then it's just like icing, custard, but I never said I wanted that. I wanted icing, just normal thing, normal ice. I just like the normal.
1:13:10 Speaker 01 When the colour of the sprinkles bleeds into the icing, cause it's got a bit too warm, I'm not, I'm not into that.
1:13:16 Speaker 02 I can work with that.
1:13:17 Speaker 01 I don't know, it makes me feel unsettled.
1:13:18 Speaker 02 That triggers you.
1:13:20 Speaker 01 Okay.
1:13:23 Speaker 01 Just trying to help with what you were saying.
1:13:25 Speaker 00 Absolutely love it.
1:13:27 Speaker 01 That's great. Oh no, I don't.
1:13:29 Speaker 00 James is like, great, found some common ground here with Joy.
1:13:32 Speaker 02 I went full contrarian on you.
1:13:34 Speaker 01 Yeah, you were like.
1:13:34 Speaker 00 Yeah, really pulled the rug.
1:13:35 Speaker 01 Yeah, I really don't like the thought of the warm uh, sprinkle cake. I really don't like that. Yeah, I know, yeah, well, I'm sorry that that triggered you. What the fuck just happened to me?
1:13:46 Speaker 01 Trying to empathise.
1:13:48 Speaker 02 I'm, I'm sorry.
1:13:49 Speaker 01 So what? It's okay, I feel like I've been burped, someone's burped my face. Um, major menu back to you now, see how you feel about it, Joy. Here we go. Vicky Catalan, for your water, you want pop dums and soda bread. Starter, a Berriko and a Richmond sausage butty with Kerrygold butter ketchup and sriracha. Main course.
1:14:13 Speaker 02 Is that an iPad?
1:14:15 Speaker 01 Huh?
1:14:15 Speaker 02 That's an iPad.
1:14:16 Speaker 01 No, it's your menu written down.
1:14:18 Speaker 02 Okay.
1:14:19 Speaker 01 We wrote it down before.
1:14:20 Speaker 02 In my head, I was thinking, how in the bomb seed has he managed to do that? But, okay.
1:14:27 Speaker 00 You had gone somewhere else there when the menu was being read back to you.
1:14:30 Speaker 01 Yeah, suddenly.
1:14:31 Speaker 00 You went very serious.
1:14:32 Speaker 01 You went very, very serious and you were sitting as still as possible.
1:14:35 Speaker 02 I'm a complex woman.
1:14:37 Speaker 00 Yeah, as we're noticing.
1:14:40 Speaker 02 Be careful.
1:14:43 Speaker 01 Homemade spaghetti bolognese with a Parmesan refill.
1:14:46 Speaker 02 Who's made, who's making it?
1:14:47 Speaker 01 Yeah. Made by, uh, I'm trying to remember that one. John Cena's making it.
1:14:52 Speaker 02 John Cena.
1:14:53 Speaker 01 Side dish, homemade bota by your mum.
1:14:56 Speaker 02 Yeah.
1:14:57 Speaker 01 Is it bota?
1:14:57 Speaker 02 Yeah, bota on a good day. By mum on a good day.
1:15:01 Speaker 01 Day. Drink vodka Pepsi Max and afterwards an Old Fashioned.
1:15:06 Speaker 02 Yeah.
1:15:07 Speaker 01 Dessert, sprinkle cake and lukewarm custard.
1:15:09 Speaker 02 Yeah.
1:15:10 Speaker 01 Feels good?
1:15:11 Speaker 02 Feels amazing.
1:15:12 Speaker 00 It's a really good menu.
1:15:13 Speaker 01 It is good. There's nothing on that I wouldn't want to eat. In fact, I want to eat all that.
1:15:17 Speaker 00 Joy, thank you very much for coming to the dream restaurant.
1:15:20 Speaker 01 Thank you, Joy Crooks.
1:15:21 Speaker 02 Am I getting kicked out?
1:15:22 Speaker 01 Well, it's the end of the meal. You've had your meal.
1:15:24 Speaker 02 I know, but I just want this, I want this day to last forever.
1:15:35 Speaker 00 Well, there we are, James. Joy Crooks. Such a delight.
1:15:38 Speaker 01 Yes.
1:15:39 Speaker 00 And we mentioned it in the episode. That I then had to translate what the guest was saying to you.
1:15:44 Speaker 01 Huge, huge moment in the podcast.
1:15:47 Speaker 00 She out weirded you, man.
1:15:48 Speaker 01 She out weirded me and I didn't expect it. Having seen Joy live, I'm always like, wow, this person is wise beyond their years.
1:15:56 Speaker 00 Yes.
1:15:57 Speaker 01 Um, and so like, they just, they just got it, got it all together, man. And I think both of those things are still true.
1:16:04 Speaker 00 Yes.
1:16:05 Speaker 01 But on top of that, I got out weirded.
1:16:07 Speaker 00 Yeah. Also, I think it should be a new regular section on the podcast. Joy Crooks attempts to explain Gen Z terminology to Eddon James.
1:16:16 Speaker 01 Yeah, this is where we've just got to accept that we're old.
1:16:20 Speaker 00 I've accepted it ages ago.
1:16:21 Speaker 01 And the challenge is, is that we don't become like other comics and just complain about all these youngins coming through. We've just got to take our roasting, man.
1:16:29 Speaker 00 Take our roasting.
1:16:30 Speaker 01 We've got to be roasted for the rest of time now. We only get to continue being in this biz if we become the butt of the joke. We don't understand anything anymore.
1:16:39 Speaker 00 No, no, no. All the terms come from a bit of the internet that I'm not privy to.
1:16:43 Speaker 01 Yes, and I can't, I can't navigate it.
1:16:45 Speaker 00 Benito's frowning at me like he doesn't know what I mean. Not the dark web, Benito.
1:16:49 Speaker 01 Not the dark web, Benito. He's even older than us. Look at, look at him.
1:16:52 Speaker 00 Saying dark web.
1:16:53 Speaker 01 He thinks the dark web's real.
1:16:56 Speaker 00 The dark, the dark web is real.
1:16:58 Speaker 01 No.
1:16:58 Speaker 00 No?
1:16:59 Speaker 01 No, no. You're thinking of TikTok.
1:17:01 Speaker 00 Ah, yes, that's the dark web.
1:17:03 Speaker 01 Yep.
1:17:04 Speaker 00 Well, thank you very much to Joy. I enjoyed that conversation very much. Grinning like an absolute goon I was throughout that. And goon means something different now. I learnt that.
1:17:12 Speaker 01 Oh, does it?
1:17:13 Speaker 00 Yeah, gooner.
1:17:14 Speaker 01 Oh, like an Arsenal fan?
1:17:15 Speaker 00 No, it means someone who habitually masturbates.
1:17:18 Speaker 01 What the hell? I've got to be careful what I say in the world. Because I might be saying I habitually masturbate. Not that I'd call myself a gooner. I'm not an Arsenal fan, but like, I might say, if you've met Romesh, he's a gooner. And people be like, what the hell?
1:17:32 Speaker 00 Yeah.
1:17:32 Speaker 01 That's front page news.
1:17:33 Speaker 00 Yeah. And you'd be like, he's also an Arsenal fan.
1:17:36 Speaker 01 Yeah.
1:17:36 Speaker 00 Yeah.
1:17:37 Speaker 01 Yeah, yeah. But Arsenal fan probably means obsessed with arses or something.
1:17:42 Speaker 01 All these perverted corners of the internet.
1:17:45 Speaker 00 It's probably true. Romesh is a fan of the football team Arsenal.
1:17:48 Speaker 01 Hmm.
1:17:49 Speaker 00 He loves a badonkadonk and he's a dirty little wanker.
1:17:52 Speaker 01 Joy's album Juniper is out now, so make sure you listen to that.
1:17:56 Speaker 00 Joy is also going on tour and goes through November and then into December, the Juniper Tour. So go and check that out if you're around or if these dates make sense. UK, Europe. Joy did not say almonds joy, James, or indeed almonds. We couldn't even get her on that.
1:18:13 Speaker 01 Yeah.
1:18:14 Speaker 00 Because I suppose every almond is almond joy to Joy Crooks.
1:18:17 Speaker 01 That's, that's a thinker.
1:18:18 Speaker 00 Yeah, that's a thinker.
1:18:19 Speaker 01 He's, he's one of the leading philosophical minds.
1:18:22 Speaker 00 Yes, thank you.
1:18:23 Speaker 01 In the UK today, Ed Gamble.
1:18:24 Speaker 00 And thank you for that.
1:18:25 Speaker 01 This will be on YouTube tomorrow.
1:18:27 Speaker 00 Yes. You get to see me and James being occasionally baffled.
1:18:32 Speaker 01 Get to see what we look like when we're thinking to ourselves, I'm old now.
1:18:36 Speaker 00 Yeah, yeah. Well, I always, I was, I'm always thinking that.
1:18:39 Speaker 01 Yeah, well, this is me just finally accepting.
1:18:42 Speaker 00 Yeah.
1:18:43 Speaker 01 I, I was like, it's over for me.
1:18:46 Speaker 01 If you look at my eyes during this video, I'm just thinking it's over.
1:18:48 Speaker 00 No, no, it's not over, man. It's just a whole new chapter.
1:18:52 Speaker 01 It's a good way of looking at it.
1:18:53 Speaker 00 Yeah.
1:18:54 Speaker 01 That's nice.
1:18:55 Speaker 00 Plus, there's things, there's things that Gen Z don't know that we talk about.
1:19:00 Speaker 01 Like what?
1:19:00 Speaker 00 All our terms.
1:19:02 Speaker 01 What terms?
1:19:03 Speaker 00 Hmm. Dial up.
1:19:05 Speaker 01 Howdily doodily, okally dokally?
1:19:07 Speaker 00 Oh, no.
1:19:08 Speaker 01 Flanders.
1:19:09 Speaker 00 Dial up.
1:19:10 Speaker 01 Flanders, no Flanders. Big thank you to Toast for booking our guest today. Buddy, if you've got any more people you want to send our way.
1:19:19 Speaker 00 We know Toast wants to send our way.
1:19:21 Speaker 01 The ball.
1:19:21 Speaker 00 The postie.
1:19:22 Speaker 01 The bone.
1:19:25 Speaker 01 Today on the podcast, we're interviewing walkies.
1:19:30 Speaker 00 Just the lead on a chair.
1:19:33 Speaker 01 But we can't ever say the guest's name. We have to spell it out. See if you toast him, it gets excited.
1:19:38 Speaker 00 Walkies, you've got a hard out. You've only got 20 minutes.
1:19:42 Speaker 01 And if you ask any of these questions, they're gonna walk.
1:19:44 Speaker 00 Yeah.
1:19:46 Speaker 00 Kick him out. They said the secret ingredient. I'm taking him away.
1:19:49 Speaker 01 Taking him away. Said secret ingredient. What would the secret ingredient be for walkies? Run, run in, I guess.
1:19:54 Speaker 00 Yeah.
1:19:55 Speaker 01 A jog.
1:19:55 Speaker 00 Yeah. Off the lead, coming off the lead.
1:19:59 Speaker 01 Gonna let him off the lead?
1:20:00 Speaker 00 Yeah.
1:20:00 Speaker 01 That's a big moment with a dog.
1:20:02 Speaker 00 Yeah.
1:20:04 Speaker 01 Whew, okay.
1:20:06 Speaker 00 Thank you very much to Joy. Go and listen to Juniper. We'll see you again next week. Bye bye.
1:20:11 Speaker 01 Yeah, goodbye.
Previous Elle Fanning Next Kunal Nayyar Page updated October 31, 2026 · transcript and summary are machine-generated