Bonus Episode: Shout Out to the Divas with Jonquilyn Hill

Here's another treat from our secret feed vault to tide you over while we wait for season 10! We got Jonquilyn Hill to come back for a round of morsels. Warning: there will be divas and hot peppers. Subscribe to our newsletter for writing from Rachelle, Se'era, Jae, Alex, and Kelsey, plus blog recommendations and secrets! https://defector.com/normal-gossip-podcast You can support Normal Gossip directly by buyingmerch https://defectorstore.com/collections/normal-gossip or becoming a Friend or a Friend-of-Friend atsupportnormalgossip.com https://defector.com/products/normalgossip. You can also find all kinds of info about us and how to submit gossip on our Komi page:https://normalgossip.komi.io/ Episode transcript here https://docs.google.com/document/d/1ebuqKeyuKvOrsQPPC7PF4zFxmSuAqDgZUdJWQqHwdjA/edit?usp=sharing. Follow the show on Instagram@normalgossip https://www.instagram.com/normalgossip/, and if you have gossip, email us at [email protected] or leave us a voicemail at 26-79-GOSSIP. Normal Gossip is hosted by Rachelle Hampton (@heyydnae https://www.instagram.com/heyydnae/?hl=en) and produced by Se'era Spragley Ricks (@seera_sharae https://www.instagram.com/seera_sharae/?hl=en) and Jae Towle Vieira (@jaetowlevieira https://instagram.com/jaetowlevieira?igshid=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==). Alex Sujong Laughlin (@alexlaughs https://www.instagram.com/alexlaughs/) is our Supervising Producer. Justin Ellis is Defector's projects editor. Show art by Tara Jacoby. Normal Gossip is a proud member ofRadiotopia https://www.radiotopia.fm/. Learn about your ad choices: dovetail.prx.org/ad-choices https://dovetail.prx.org/ad-choices

• 0:06Speaker 00

  Hello and welcome to Normal Gossip. I'm your host, Rachel Hampton, and in each episode of this podcast, we are gonna bring you an anonymous morsel of gossip from the real world. Now, this is actually Rachel of the past speaking to you. Rachel of the present is somewhere in Mexico, enjoying her life and not looking at her phone. Rachel of the past, however, did feel a little bit guilty about not being able to produce a season nine finale. And also wanted to give you guys a little bit of gossip to tide you over between seasons. We know we're taking a bit of a longer break this time. We really want to make sure season 10 All Stars is as good as it possibly can be, which means

• 0:51Speaker 00

  we're gonna take our time with it. But also, we are benevolent here at Normal Gossip. So, we are repeating some actions. We are doing what we did last month in February, which is giving you one of our subscriber episodes from last year, that is just me and a guest responding to some gossip that we had not heard before. And this episode, y'all, well, let me be honest, I got a little high before this episode. You can maybe tell once you start listening to it. But I remember very vividly the last gossip morsel in this

• 1:28Speaker 00

  episode, which features none other than Jocelyn Hill. And it's, it's a doozy. If you listen to this with children, maybe listen to the last gossip morsel by yourself first, and then decide whether or not you want to explain things to your children. That's all I'm gonna give. That's all the spoilers I'm gonna give. But this episode is truly so fun. I love JQ so much. It was such a delight to do this episode, and I hope you guys enjoy it.

• 2:03Speaker 01

  J Q, thank you so much for joining me again.

• 2:06Speaker 02

  Of course, I'm happy to be here. You know I'm always happy to gossip.

• 2:09Speaker 01

  I am so excited, not least because the gossip you brought me in the episode that we did, I still think about to this day. So I have a feeling you're gonna be a great companion for this ride.

• 2:21Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. You know, I think about that piece of gossip, too. I'm just like, I hope that lady's doing well and that man is not.

• 2:28Speaker 01

  Exactly. Exactly. We're on the same page. All right. Perfect.

• 2:33Speaker 02

  Let's go.

• 2:34Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:37Speaker 01

  So I have this friend, amazing person. She's a great friend, super generous. She's a great mom. She's like really successful in this high-powered corporate job. And her husband is a little bit of a semi hoarder. So she was constantly trying to declutter her house because the husband just wouldn't let anything go. And one of the things he wouldn't let go was like this kid's chair attached to a desk. You know how like especially it seems like old timey schools would have the desk attached to the chair? And it's just not even good for her own kids to use because it's like the wood's all splintery

• 3:21Speaker 01

  and there's a nail head sticking out. And it was just, nobody was getting any use out of it. But her husband was like, not willing to let this go unless this went to like a family with a child who could enjoy it. He just had this vision in his head. So she like gets on Facebook Marketplace and tries to sell it and tries to find it. And like, she's just not finding, you know, somebody who's willing to take this thing. So then she has the genius idea that she should hire a TaskRabbit to pretend like they are picking it up and buying it from Facebook Marketplace for their small child. So she hires this guy.

• 4:03Speaker 01

  She's like, he was incredible. He came in and he was like, my nephew is coming to live with me from Dublin and I'm going to give this to him. And it's, it's so beautiful, like that it's been lived in and loved. And I am just, I thank you. Thank you so much. And she made sure to tip him very well.

• 4:33Speaker 02

  Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. Also, it's funny. Can I just say, it was funny because old timey, I'm like, ooh, that was elementary school.

• 4:42Speaker 00

  No, I was like, what do you mean by old timey? What kind of seats do you have in school now?

• 4:48Speaker 02

  I'm also just like, maybe my, uh, elementary school, my elementary school was like in Abbott Elementary Times, so maybe we were behind.

• 4:55Speaker 00

  I went to public school in Texas, so.

• 4:58Speaker 02

  Oh, girl. They, you're lucky you escaped. No, let me not do that to the, uh.

• 5:03Speaker 00

  No, and you're right. And you're correct. I'm lucky.

• 5:05Speaker 02

  Did you learn about slavery? Probably not.

• 5:08Speaker 00

  Um, I learned it wasn't a cause of the Civil War.

• 5:12Speaker 02

  Also, I, can I also say, I'm not ready to be married because the way I would have just been like, I'm gonna just get rid of this when we're not at the house. What you gonna do?

• 5:19Speaker 00

  No, what are you gonna do if it's gone? She could have lied. Like, there were so many steps before this, but I guess to break this down chronologically, I really need to know more about this semi-horder husband because why do you want to give away a splintery seat so bad? Like, what child deserves a splintery seat? This is like how they gave one pair of toms away to kids, but they fell apart.

• 5:44Speaker 02

  And it sounds like there's no sentimental value.

• 5:47Speaker 00

  He just needs it to go to a happy home.

• 5:51Speaker 02

  Like, sir, no.

• 5:53Speaker 00

  Yeah, I, I have a lot of questions for him. I think the wife is ingenious in her, um, solution making because hiring a Task Rabbit to be an actor is like, what?

• 6:04Speaker 02

  I would never.

• 6:05Speaker 00

  What did she look up on Task Rabbit? What task did she look up on Task Rabbit to get this guy to come and pretend to pick this up?

• 6:12Speaker 02

  In the woods on a log for decades and the idea, why don't you hire a Task Rabbit to be an actor to pretend to take this away would never cross my mind. And that's why she's a high-powered, this is why she has it all. I don't have it all. That's why she has it all because she thinks differently than I do.

• 6:30Speaker 00

  I, clearly, she's the original girl boss in a way.

• 6:33Speaker 02

  Why, hello? What's her name? Sophia, what's her face? Is that you? I read that book and Lean In very earnestly when I was 25.

• 6:46Speaker 00

  We all make mistakes when we're 25.

• 6:47Speaker 02

  Listen.

• 6:48Speaker 00

  That's what being 25 is for, actually.

• 6:51Speaker 02

  It is, yes.

• 6:52Speaker 00

  This Dublin, this man said, my nephew is coming from Dublin. He deserves some kind of award, some kind of Emmy.

• 7:02Speaker 02

  Get Denzel on the phone. Get, like, you know how he paid for, like, I think he paid for, like, Chadwick Boseman to go to Yale Drama School or something?

• 7:10Speaker 00

  Oh, yes, yes.

• 7:12Speaker 02

  That's what we need for this young man.

• 7:13Speaker 00

  No, exactly. Denzel Washington also, I think, helped Glenn Powell, who I always want to call Glenn Close, and also Austin Butler.

• 7:22Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 7:23Speaker 00

  More, he helped his own son, which is one of my favorite pieces of gossip.

• 7:29Speaker 02

  You, y'all can't see the face I'm making, but I am like, really makes you think, really makes you think.

• 7:36Speaker 00

  It really makes you think.

• 7:38Speaker 02

  It really makes you think.

• 7:40Speaker 00

  We are going far afield. How much does she pay the TaskRabbit?

• 7:43Speaker 02

  You know what my guess is? Maybe the TaskRabbit was trash removal. I don't know if that's an option for TaskRabbit.

• 7:49Speaker 00

  You can have someone come pick up stuff and just take it to a dumpster. I've done that before.

• 7:54Speaker 02

  Yeah, like, I, TaskRabbit built my bed, because my boyfriend, who I was with, broke up with me before I could build my bed, and I was like, dang, I need somebody to do this. Let me open up the app.

• 8:03Speaker 00

  Could have just waited a week.

• 8:05Speaker 02

  Like, hello? He did hang some shelves, though. I think he knew he was gonna break up with me, so he was like, let me get this. And you know what? For that, still fuck him.

• 8:12Speaker 00

  No, literally, bare minimum.

• 8:14Speaker 02

  Yeah, bare the bars on the ground. Yeah, and just to be like, hey, when you come pick this up, I need a favor.

• 8:22Speaker 00

  I hope that the husband finds out someday and, like, perhaps goes and sees a professional about his hoarding.

• 8:27Speaker 02

  To talk to some.

• 8:28Speaker 00

  Yeah. Your wife is going to extreme lengths. To stop you from having to deal with this.

• 8:36Speaker 02

  And I could only imagine, they were probably fighting over that chair. Like actively, like, I could just hear me like, what do you want? What do we have to do? I work so hard.

• 8:47Speaker 00

  No, literally, day in, day out.

• 8:49Speaker 02

  And keep putting crap into the house. I can't come home to a clean house. Like, I can hear it. I can hear it.

• 8:56Speaker 00

  I hope that the removal of that chair felt like some kind of burden lifted off of her shoulders at the very least.

• 9:02Speaker 02

  Yes. She'd be like, ah, slowly reclaiming her house back.

• 9:05Speaker 00

  Exactly, exactly. Even if just for a moment, you deserve peace, queen. Shout out to you.

• 9:14Speaker 00

  Okay, what's the next morsel? That one was great. We're starting off on a high note.

• 9:21Speaker 03

  My gossip story is about my conception, uh, which took place in the 1980s in Florida. So you kind of have like a visual sense of the amount of day glow.

• 9:35Speaker 03

  My mom was on the hiring committee at the university where she worked. And the dean or somebody, before they went into one of the, uh, interviews for a new professor, she said, oh, this guy we're about to interview, you're gonna love him. And, um,

• 9:55Speaker 03

  and that turned out to be my father. Important detail, I guess they were both separated at the time that they met. It was scandalous. Oh, and like one very cute detail, and this is very my dad, uh, one of the first things she noticed about him, um, on the day of the hiring committee was that he was wearing a very crisp, very cheap suit with the jag still sticking off the sleeve. So he and she just basically like immediately fall like headlong into incredibly, like passionate love with each other.

• 10:32Speaker 03

  There's like no time in there. They just like basically love at first sight as far as I can tell. And.

• 10:40Speaker 03

  I don't know how long they were secretly together before I was conceived, which my mom has told me so many times, very disturbingly, on the beach. I don't know why I felt like an important detail, but um. And then, so then my mom was pregnant and you know, there's like this countdown clock of like, you can only hide that from your coworkers at the university for so long. Um, so some months go by and they're kind of working out their interpersonal stuff with their exes. I think some divorce papers come into play and um. But the people at the university still don't know this and um.

• 11:20Speaker 03

  Right when my mom was just about to pop and it wasn't going to be something she could hide any longer. She, and this is like very much the chaos demon energy that my mom uh has for better and for worse. She went to the university gossip and he was like the person who would always spill the tea on everything. And she sat him down in the lunchroom and she said to him, "I'm gonna tell you something. I'm gonna give you a piece of information. And you can be the one to share it. I have told nobody else this piece of information.

• 11:59Speaker 03

  Um, and I'm giving it to you. And if you think it's worth it, I want you to give me eighty dollars." And I mean, I haven't done the math for what that is inflation wise from nineteen eighty-five, but um. And then she told him, "I'm pregnant with [BLEEP] child." And he went to the ATM, got eighty dollars, gave it to her, and went and told all of their colleagues this amazing piece of gossip. So um. Yeah, so gossip is like the foundation of my story on earth.

• 12:40Speaker 02

  That is the best. That is amazing because, okay, I, there are several, Rachel, there are several things. Can I?

• 12:49Speaker 00

  Go, go, go, go, go.

• 12:50Speaker 02

  Okay, I'm gonna, I'm gonna work backwards. One, the idea of getting gossip so good, you're like, yeah, I'm gonna pay you for that. That's amazing.

• 12:58Speaker 00

  Also, hold on, while you're, I'm gonna Google, how much is eighty dollars? From nineteen eighty to now, because inflation is crazy. It's about three hundred and thirteen dollars and sixty-four cents.

• 13:10Speaker 02

  Period. Period. Even if she was born in the later eighties, I know that's right.

• 13:13Speaker 00

  Like, can you imagine paying three hundred American dollars? For a piece of gossip? I think it was worth it. I think it was worth it.

• 13:22Speaker 02

  Also, I would be, if someone came to me in this situation, I would feel two ways because one, I'm like, dang, I'm known as the gossip, like, that's my reputation. But also, it's a thing of like, I'm happy to use my powers for good, girl. If this is what you want, I got you. Be like, yeah, I'd be honored. Yeah.

• 13:39Speaker 00

  Yes, no, exactly.

• 13:40Speaker 02

  I could definitely like, be like, okay, we had lunch, like, I'll get some drink with some coworker and be like.

• 13:46Speaker 00

  Also, wouldn't it be so just delicious to be in the position of having information no one else does and being charged with disseminating it? Like, you can tell everyone. You don't even have to keep a secret, but you know you have information that's gonna make everyone in the room's jaw drop? That's incredible.

• 14:04Speaker 02

  I would honestly sit on it for thirty minutes just to be like, just to like relish in the.

• 14:09Speaker 00

  No, exactly.

• 14:09Speaker 02

  Honestly, it's not, I do not like spreading gossip. I like being told gossip and having the information, doing nothing with it, but just being like, I am aware. I'm aware of what's going on in the world around me. That can help me make informed decisions. That can help me not put people in uncomfortable situations. That just, I just like knowing.

• 14:28Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 14:28Speaker 02

  I, uh, also, and with the main story, what I love about almost every boomer, and I think people have lost sight of this, and I think this is part of the reason dating is difficult, because I admit, this is not a life that I am about.

• 14:45Speaker 00

  Almost every boomer love story is some sort of like, oh yeah, I was dating a couple of guys. Like your dad was at my law school graduation and this other guy I was talking to was at my law school graduation and over time, like your dad was just the one who was around.

• 14:58Speaker 02

  Boomers really believed in not letting your marriage get in the way of finding the love of your life at all. Also, everyone like online is very much like, ew, dating someone you work with. And granted, again, not my ministry. I've never done it. Like also with honestly, within the industry I work in, not a lot of the

• 15:19Speaker 00

  I was gonna say.

• 15:20Speaker 02

  types of men that I go for.

• 15:21Speaker 00

  What kind of choice do you have at work?

• 15:23Speaker 02

  No.

• 15:24Speaker 00

  I've been in media circles. We've all seen what's out there.

• 15:28Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's like, it's just not my, listen, and some of the girls love it. They love it. And for that I am, but there's a reason why everyone at the New York Times is married to each other.

• 15:37Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 15:38Speaker 02

  There's a reason everyone at NPR is married to each other. Like these people at work, they're flitting and flirting and going on dates and getting married. And then where do you think nepo babies come from? People be at work.

• 15:51Speaker 00

  Exactly, exactly. I mean, someone, and by someone, I mean, the drag queen Trixie Mattel, once made the point that meeting a man at work is one of the only ways you can meet a man as a woman and like know that he's like kind of been vetted a little bit. Like you know that he had to pass probably a background check. You know that he's employed. You know, he has health insurance. Like, you know, like you, you're and you're in an environment that's like pretty safe.

• 16:17Speaker 02

  Yeah, it happens. It happens. It's that thing of like, you should probably disclose to your boss.

• 16:22Speaker 00

  The fact that she's on the hiring committee.

• 16:25Speaker 02

  Yeah, that's wild. That's wild, girl.

• 16:27Speaker 00

  That one did throw me for a loop. That one did throw me for a loop. Like I'm all, like I'm, I'm maybe 50 50 on workplace relationships. Like the, it depends on the power dynamic, but this is, this is, your mother is messy.

• 16:39Speaker 02

  Also, on the beach? Ah!

• 16:42Speaker 00

  I don't want to know where I've been conceived.

• 16:44Speaker 02

  But was it because like they had to sneak around or was it just romance? Like they were like, they are these people who are, it's like, oh, love at first sight, our passion. We, I'm like, oh my gosh. I know if her mom gets a glass of Chardonnay in there and they play Brown Eyed Girl on the dance floor, like you ever see like that cut and they're like, oh, they, they are still.

• 17:03Speaker 00

  No, they're still, they're still very horny for each other.

• 17:06Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's like, oh, y'all are getting down.

• 17:09Speaker 00

  Yeah, and on some level, I love that for your mom. I hope to experience that level of intensity at some point in my life, because certainly no one's done it for me so far.

• 17:18Speaker 02

  Yet.

• 17:19Speaker 00

  Yet, exactly. There's a lot of life left to live.

• 17:23Speaker 00

  And famously, your twenties suck.

• 17:25Speaker 02

  Actively bad, actively garbage doo doo.

• 17:28Speaker 00

  So I have plenty of time, but I love this for your mother. It is so wild to be like, I'm on my hiring panel. Here I am asking you interview questions. Also, you want to get a drink later? Like, how did, the sequence of events, how soon after his hiring day did you get with him? Did that perhaps influence your choice to say that he should be hired?

• 17:51Speaker 02

  Was he like, wow, he's hot?

• 17:53Speaker 00

  No, exactly. Was he actually the one who was most qualified for that position?

• 17:58Speaker 02

  Listen, she found a position.

• 18:03Speaker 02

  Also, who hit on who? Because like maybe he made the first move?

• 18:06Speaker 00

  Because apparently it was mutual.

• 18:08Speaker 02

  Hitting on your boss is, well, I don't know if it was boss, but like hitting on, that's

• 18:11Speaker 00

  Even on the hiring committee, like we've both done interviews that are like panel interviews. I would never hit on any of those people.

• 18:19Speaker 02

  No, no, no.

• 18:21Speaker 00

  No.

• 18:23Speaker 02

  And I've been on hiring committees. I've never been like.

• 18:25Speaker 00

  Exactly, same. No, there is never a moment in any of them where I'm like, ooh, my future husband?

• 18:33Speaker 02

  At all, at all. Especially like, now I know what you make.

• 18:37Speaker 00

  No, exactly. She's like, now I know you have dental.

• 18:43Speaker 00

  She's like, a secure man, let me lock it down. I, I love this story. I do. It makes me wonder, because the caller was like my chaos semen of a mother. I wish to hear more stories from your childhood. I want to know what it was like growing up in the household with these two.

• 19:02Speaker 02

  Like, again, when I say as a, like, this diva, I would never think, okay, I need this information to get out. I like, not a, all right, I'm gonna sit down with my boss, I'm gonna write a letter, let's do lunch, just being like, I am going to find the person who cannot hold water. Not only tell them to gossip and get them to do that for me, but get them to give me money.

• 19:32Speaker 00

  No, it's really, I, I, I love this caller's mother so much. I think she's an icon, but I imagine that your caller's childhood has, there are some stories. Being the child of an icon sounds like a rough time.

• 19:49Speaker 02

  Listen, listen, we have to, we have to ask this woman and Blue Ivy, how do you do it?

• 19:54Speaker 00

  Exactly.

• 20:07Speaker 00

  I'm gonna admit something embarrassing. I know, shocker. I have not had a bedside lamp for an undisclosed amount of months, long enough that I basically haven't read before bed for a really long time. And I only realized this because I'm hosting a friend and I was like, wow, they deserve to have a light by their bed at night. I don't. But this finally inspired me to find the perfect bedside lamp. And I had a vision in mind, Wayfair, they had exactly what I need, which is one of those library style lights with like the green lampshade and little pull cord. I have been having this image in my mind of having one, and now I have one because of course

• 20:49Speaker 00

  Wayfair had it. For all things hosting, Wayfair delivers high-quality, customer-trusted products for your home so you can host and celebrate without distress. When refreshing your home this holiday season, Wayfair delivers exactly what you need. Head to wayfair.com to shop all things home. That's W A Y F A I R dot com.

• 21:12Speaker 00

  We've been cooking up a fun, special holiday project for y'all over here at Normal Gossip. And usually when work gets crazy, I kind of just try to continue my life like nothing's happening. But recently, thanks to therapy, this time around, I was like, what if I did not try to pour from an empty cup? And that is what growing feels like. If you've been thinking about starting therapy, then I think you should check out today's sponsor, Growth Therapy. Growth Therapy is built for therapy that actually feels like care. You can find therapy based on what matters most to you, like insurance taken, mental health specialties, identity, or night and weekend availability if you're working a lot.

• 21:58Speaker 00

  Book your first session in minutes and you can start in as little as two days. Sessions average $21 with insurance and some pay as little as $0, depending on your insurance plan. Prepare for holiday glimmers instead of holiday stress. Visit growtherapy.com/gossip to get started today. That is growtherapy.com/gossip. Availability and coverage vary by state and insurance plan.

• 22:24Speaker 04

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• 23:01Speaker 00

  Oh, I love that. These are so good so far. Like, we're on such a high. What can possibly be next?

• 23:10Speaker 05

  Hi, normal gossip. Um, so my partner is a software engineer and he started a new job during the pandemic that's fully remote. So he works from home. He has some colleagues in the city that we live in, but he also has colleagues in a different country. And because he works for a tech company and it's quite small, um, it's not the most like social environment. Um, and there's really doesn't seem to be a lot of like social interaction outside of their everyday work.

• 23:49Speaker 05

  Um, which I don't fully understand. Like I think a core aspect of work is like gossiping with your colleagues, but they, they keep it like pretty on task. And so he's been working there for about two years now. And because it was mostly during the, the peak pandemic, they, there hasn't really been any like social activities. Um, but this year I was surprised to find out that they are actually having a holiday party. And keep in mind that my partner found this out like a week before the party was supposed to happen. So a week before the party, he gets a message saying, oh, we're actually doing a holiday party this year.

• 24:31Speaker 05

  It's going to be on Friday. Here's the address. Hope to see you there. And I'm confused because these people have worked together for a few years now, but I don't, I like genuinely don't think they've ever had social conversations. So in my mind, I'm like, this is going to be a really brutal party. Like I can't imagine what you would have to talk about. And on top of that, I think he only has about like 15 other colleagues in our city. So it's going to be a small group and they don't really know each other. And instead of it being like a dinner where you could maybe talk a little bit, it was at an event space. And so.

• 25:17Speaker 05

  I'm like very interested about how this party is gonna go. I'm not invited. I'm sitting at home, not going. And my partner shows up to the party and he says, oh, there's like a lot more people here than I thought there would be. And he walks around and he like spots one of the colleagues he actually does know. And they're both equally surprised that there seems to be a lot more people at this party than they think there are based on how many people actually work for the company. And not only do they, are there more people, but they don't recognize anybody. And they find this very odd, but they know that they're in the right place. So they just kind of go with it.

• 26:02Speaker 05

  Um, and then they see their like CEO, who is the one that planned the party and they go and they talk to him and they're, they're just having like casual conversation. And the CEO mentions a few minutes into their conversation that it's actually his birthday at midnight. And they go, oh, like what a coincidence, like happy birthday. Um, that's so nice. Do you have anything planned? And this is when the CEO reveals that this is actually his birthday party that they're all at. And they just thought it was the company holiday party because that's how it was presented to them. But no, in fact, this is the CEO's birthday.

• 26:46Speaker 05

  And apparently before COVID, he did this every year. But I guess uses the company Christmas party as his birthday party, inviting all of his friends. Um, and my partner and his colleagues were just blissfully unaware of this. They had no idea. And the weirdest part is my partner does not find this weird. He, he told me this story being like, yeah, it turned out it was his birthday.

• 27:19Speaker 00

  This is a misuse of company resources.

• 27:22Speaker 02

  No, he is scamming.

• 27:24Speaker 00

  He is scamming. Because the way you could definitely rent out an event space on the company dime and save so mu- like you could make your party huge every single year if you say it's the company holiday party.

• 27:38Speaker 02

  Again, there are so many divas in these stories. I would never think to do this.

• 27:45Speaker 00

  No, this man is 100% scamming. I, okay.

• 27:49Speaker 02

  Also, why can't my boo come if everybody, I can't bring my man?

• 27:53Speaker 00

  Why didn't, why didn't they have plus ones? You are making, you're using company resources to pay for your party and telling me it's our holiday party and I can't even bring my spouse?

• 28:04Speaker 02

  I have follow-up questions. I want to know what the food and drink situation was like.

• 28:07Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 28:07Speaker 02

  And the decorations.

• 28:08Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 28:09Speaker 02

  But he's a software engineer. I, I love my STEM boys, but they, they do not be asking the right questions.

• 28:14Speaker 00

  And they don't. I mean, the fact that he didn't think it was strange at all that his boss did this is, on one hand, that makes me feel very warmly towards him because I'm like, what a, what a nice man. Like what a sweetheart that you're like, why would that be weird? Meanwhile, I'm immediately over here like, embezzlement? You're embezzling from your company. Allegedly, allegedly, allegedly.

• 28:37Speaker 02

  Allegedly. Okay, Wendy. Allegedly.

• 28:43Speaker 00

  I'm not trying to get sued by the CEO of this software engineering company.

• 28:48Speaker 02

  No, maybe he paid for it himself and he's like, let's come, oh, what a-

• 28:52Speaker 00

  That's so generous of you to think that. That's so generous of you to think that. I think that, that, that is an option. I don't believe it.

• 29:01Speaker 00

  I think he's scamming. I think he's doing fraud.

• 29:05Speaker 02

  I do say, unless you want to make your birthday the company holiday.

• 29:10Speaker 00

  Yeah, I wish that the caller had been able to go.

• 29:13Speaker 02

  How many people were there?

• 29:14Speaker 00

  Yeah, how, because the thing about New York, specifically Brooklyn, is every single time there's an empty storefront, it gets turned into an event space. And it's like the size of a bodega, which is not very big. So that's what I'm thinking when I hear event space, but there are really nice ones as well.

• 29:28Speaker 02

  There are.

• 29:29Speaker 00

  I need to know which one it was.

• 29:33Speaker 00

  All right, what's next? I really, I can't imagine.

• 29:38Speaker 06

  I lived and taught at a secondary school in England for about six months. And it was wild. So I was living in this house with these three other people who I had met online. I thought I knew what was, what the situation was. So I like met them online. They, they interviewed me over Zoom. I like paid my first rent. All of it is good. And at first I got there and like I was super jet lagged and I thought it was fine. It was just like, the vibes were weird. So I was like, okay, like in a different country. And I don't know anybody and it's probably just me. Well, it just kept getting weirder.

• 30:23Speaker 06

  So, uh, one day I was cooking in the kitchen and, uh, we had, there, in, in the kitchen, there was a glass container that was just labeled breadcrumbs. And so I used the last of the breadcrumbs in what I was cooking. And that Sunday I went out, I got more breadcrumbs. I bring it back and I'm like, hey guys, where do we put the extra breadcrumbs? I filled up the little glass container. And dead, dead ass, one of my roommates looks at me and goes, why didn't you take them out of the aquarium? And I was shook. I, I, I, that was, it's the aquarium. What are you talking about? And, uh, they're like, oh, yeah, yeah, the aquarium.

• 31:07Speaker 06

  I, so we had a room that was right off the kitchen. Uh, next to the dryer, there was in a quick, there was a, there was like a full ass fish tank.

• 31:20Speaker 06

  That was full of something. I didn't know what. Turns out it was breadcrumbs, but there was no way I was gonna know that. Um, and, uh, I never used the aquarium breadcrumbs. I kept those breadcrumbs for myself.

• 31:35Speaker 02

  Okay, I, oh wow.

• 31:38Speaker 00

  So, so aquarium breadcrumbs.

• 31:41Speaker 02

  That's weird, that's weird.

• 31:43Speaker 00

  When, when, I need to ask you what you, are you, is this just like a full fish tank full of breadcrumbs? Is that what I'm being told?

• 31:52Speaker 02

  That's what I'm imagining in my head.

• 31:54Speaker 00

  That's also what I'm imagining and I cannot even imagine a reason why one would do that.

• 32:01Speaker 02

  Because, A, that's so much breadcrumbs.

• 32:04Speaker 00

  What are you, how, I go, I go through a thing of breadcrumbs maybe over the course of a year. I don't use breadcrumbs that often.

• 32:11Speaker 02

  Maybe, they, maybe they make a lot of meatballs and a lot, they could be making a lot of meatballs.

• 32:16Speaker 00

  They're breading a lot of chicken fingers.

• 32:19Speaker 02

  Hello, like they get that air fryer going, they are not playing. Um, but also, there's food grade materials. You can't just be like, like people who are like, oh, I put together a snack box and a tackle box. Baby, that's not for food, that is for fish hooks. The, we're, I mean, we're constantly covered in microplastics. Drinking from a water bottle right now with a plastic top. It's food grade, you are letting, you're not supposed to have that much, this is, the microplastics. You have so much microplastics in your body. Don't do that, don't do that.

• 32:54Speaker 00

  Yeah, they're having, they have more than the, did you see that study that was like, we all have like a fork, a plastic fork full of microplastics in our brain?

• 33:02Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 33:03Speaker 00

  Yeah, they have more than a fork, they got a spoon too up there if they just are eating breadcrumbs out of the fish tank. What I want to know is like, are they buying breadcrumbs in bulk and then decanting them into the fish tank?

• 33:16Speaker 02

  Do they make all those breadcrumbs?

• 33:18Speaker 00

  That's even crazier, is it, is the fish tank sealed like that?

• 33:23Speaker 02

  Also, why would I think to do that?

• 33:25Speaker 00

  Also, I, I'm judging the caller a little bit, because how did you not notice that?

• 33:30Speaker 02

  Maybe she thought it was full of pebbles, like, I'm like, oh, that's weird, there's fish food over there.

• 33:35Speaker 00

  I think I would recognize, I hope that if I were to be in the presence of a fish tank full of breadcrumbs, I would recognize what was in front of me.

• 33:46Speaker 02

  Hold on, I'm looking up bread, I'm looking at pictures of breadcrumbs.

• 33:51Speaker 02

  And then, fish food. Yeah, breadcrumbs and fish food look different.

• 33:57Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 34:00Speaker 00

  Thank you for doing this research for us.

• 34:03Speaker 02

  But I will say, when you live in a group house with a bunch of people, there is stuff where you're like, I'm not even gonna, that's not my business.

• 34:11Speaker 00

  I understand being like, the fish tank full of breadcrumbs is not my business. What I don't understand is not having cloaked it before it being pointed out to me.

• 34:20Speaker 02

  Yeah, to be like, you know, the fish tank. And it's like, oh.

• 34:24Speaker 00

  If it's a big fish tank and you're in a house share with four other people, there's not a, there's very limited common space that everyone has access to. I, how long into your tenure did you know about the breadcrumbs? If it was the first week, I'm gonna give you some slack. But like, if it's longer than that, I'm a little concerned about your observational skills, friend.

• 34:43Speaker 02

  That was, that's so, I would have been so baffled living in that home.

• 34:47Speaker 00

  I would have been constantly on the phone with my mom.

• 34:50Speaker 02

  Just like, hey, um, hey, girl.

• 34:54Speaker 00

  Hey, girl. Something weird happened. I think something weird happened.

• 35:00Speaker 02

  Like, is this normal?

• 35:01Speaker 00

  No, exactly.

• 35:03Speaker 02

  Depending on how old you are, sometimes you're like, maybe this is normal.

• 35:06Speaker 00

  No, exactly. And she's also, it's a different country. She's like, okay, they do put milk in bags here, so I guess they have aquariums full of breadcrumbs.

• 35:14Speaker 02

  They get crazy.

• 35:15Speaker 00

  They say jaguar.

• 35:17Speaker 02

  Jaguar, Sedwol.

• 35:20Speaker 00

  Exactly.

• 35:31Speaker 04

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• 36:16Speaker 00

  Okay. We have had a lot today and I can't imagine what this last voice memo is going to bring us. Are you ready?

• 36:25Speaker 02

  We've been on a journey, yeah. Yeah, I'm ready.

• 36:27Speaker 00

  Girl, we've been-

• 36:28Speaker 02

  We've been on a little bitty ride.

• 36:29Speaker 00

  We've been to some places.

• 36:37Speaker 05

  So, we were all hanging out and this fool encourages everyone to eat a bowl of hot peppers. Not like eat the whole bowl, but like compete, see who can eat the hot pepper.

• 36:51Speaker 04

  I mean, to be fair, I did not encourage anyone to do anything. I-

• 36:59Speaker 05

  Right, but-

• 37:00Speaker 04

  Put out a bowl of hot peppers. You put out the bowl of hot peppers and then you said, "I'm just gonna lay these right here." I did not say anything. I just put out a bowl of hot peppers- And I said, "Just so you know, those are hot peppers."

• 37:15Speaker 05

  And then that spawned a, you know, kinda male like, "Well, I can eat a hot pepper" challenge, where all three of the dudes sitting around the table started eating hot peppers. And I thought I was clever and I cheated. I swallowed the whole hot pepper. I didn't chew it at all. I like, you know, crunched it a little and then swallowed it. And I was like, "I hate it." And, uh, and it was fine. It was fine. Like, you know, there was no clear winner. Everybody suffered.

• 37:52Speaker 04

  Everyone lost a little.

• 37:53Speaker 05

  Everyone lost a little that night, but, uh, in the following days, I lost the most. So, in subsequent days, much like I do, I, uh, pleasured myself.

• 38:06Speaker 05

  And it was not normal.

• 38:12Speaker 05

  And I freaked out. I had just started dating what now is my fiance. So yay yay for her sticking it out.

• 38:23Speaker 05

  And and and I freaked out. I was like, you know, I've slept with a couple of girls lately. And I don't know. I think I have an STD and I don't know who gave it to me. So I started calling all the girls I had sexual relations with.

• 38:44Speaker 05

  Proceeded to have varying levels of confrontations with them regarding said STD. And then it turned out, uh, due to a doctor's visit, that I did not have an STD. And thanks to web research, I found out that if you eat hot peppers, this is a thing that can happen to men. Basically, you like injure your prostate.

• 39:13Speaker 02

  I'm Googling, can you, can you?

• 39:16Speaker 00

  Okay. Um, well, you Google. I would like to start from the beginning, which is that I love that this voice memo started with this man saying, this fool.

• 39:26Speaker 02

  No, that's when I heard that. I was like, I get a sense of where you're from. You are from, yeah, you, there are big skies where you live.

• 39:33Speaker 00

  Somewhere with mountains. Yeah. But also him calling her a fool when she later clarifies that all she did was set a bowl of peppers in front of them and say, these peppers are hot. And the men in the room took that as a challenge. And for him to start off with being like, this fool. It's like, sir, you are the fool.

• 39:52Speaker 02

  Every, you know what every story has in common? A diva of some sort.

• 39:56Speaker 00

  No, literally.

• 39:58Speaker 02

  Every story has has someone who's like, you know what? I can be 10 times better.

• 40:08Speaker 00

  I didn't realize, I mean, you always hear about people being like, make sure your man drinks water.

• 40:15Speaker 00

  So you don't have a terrible time, but like, this is what happens when you eat too many hot peppers if you're a man?

• 40:23Speaker 02

  Now, what y'all got going on over there isn't in my business, but who knew? Not me.

• 40:28Speaker 00

  Certainly not me.

• 40:30Speaker 02

  Also, the go- first of all, shout to you for like contacting people, having open and honest conversations.

• 40:36Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 40:37Speaker 02

  What, what a conversation to have. Imagine being on the receiving end of that phone call.

• 40:44Speaker 00

  But also imagine getting the follow-up text of, I don't have an STD, I just ate too many spicy peppers.

• 40:53Speaker 02

  And then you're like-

• 40:54Speaker 00

  Conversation with like a one-night-stand and being like, someone has an STD and then him being like, well.

• 41:02Speaker 02

  Well, actually.

• 41:04Speaker 00

  I made a mistake.

• 41:05Speaker 02

  Maybe, I mean, and I don't know how this works, but maybe you should have gotten tested first, friend.

• 41:10Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, actually. I'm like, you, I love that he had the conversations before he got tested.

• 41:18Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 41:19Speaker 00

  That's, that's a good man, I'm gonna say. Not the brightest or most logical.

• 41:25Speaker 02

  We did not say a smart man, but a good one.

• 41:27Speaker 00

  But a good one, and that's okay. That's even better sometimes, I'm gonna be honest with you.

• 41:32Speaker 02

  Truly, truly. Oh my gosh. And your fiance, dang, your fiance is ride or die.

• 41:37Speaker 00

  Truly.

• 41:38Speaker 02

  Good for her. That's a good story. That's such a good story.

• 41:42Speaker 00

  I hope you tell this at your wedding.

• 41:44Speaker 02

  Yeah, someone needs to say it in a toast.

• 41:45Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah. I mean, I knew that after eating spicy peppers that like, pooping sucked, but like.

• 41:52Speaker 02

  Oh, I expected him to be like, I thought he was like, my butthole.

• 41:55Speaker 00

  That's what I thought he meant too, when he was like, I suffered the most over the next few days and I'm just like, yeah.

• 42:01Speaker 02

  We all eat Chipotle, we know.

• 42:03Speaker 00

  You bleached your asshole.

• 42:07Speaker 00

  Bathed in hot spicy fire, but this is, this is terrible. This sounds so painful. It's like having a UTI, but like worse.

• 42:17Speaker 02

  That is so crazy. Bodies, they're, they are always surprising me.

• 42:22Speaker 00

  They are, they are, they are wild. I will say, I have a lingering question, which is that at some point, he was like, you know, later in the week, I was pleasuring myself as one does. And then the story proceeded from there.

• 42:36Speaker 02

  Spicy come? Is that what happened? That's what I'm wondering, like, was it the come that was spicy?

• 42:41Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 42:42Speaker 02

  Was his prostate from, actually, this could be wrong. Maybe it doesn't come, I don't actually know. Does?

• 42:50Speaker 00

  I need like a little more detail. And what are you Googling? Please tell me you're doing it on incognito mode.

• 42:59Speaker 02

  Oh, incognito, of course, does semen come from?

• 43:09Speaker 00

  We have to leave this in.

• 43:12Speaker 02

  Yes, the prostate gland contributes to the production of semen. Okay.

• 43:16Speaker 00

  Okay. Wow, we've learned something.

• 43:18Speaker 02

  I mean, and that health is really important, like.

• 43:21Speaker 00

  Get your prostate checked.

• 43:22Speaker 02

  Men go to the doctor, like, yeah.

• 43:25Speaker 00

  Please, for the love of God, go to the doctor at least once a year.

• 43:28Speaker 02

  Can you drink some water, please?

• 43:29Speaker 00

  No, also that.

• 43:30Speaker 02

  Over here, um, I have some requests to make.

• 43:35Speaker 00

  Oh my God, you know, I did not know what we could possibly end on, given everything that we've got together today. Also, this is the first group voice memo we've ever gotten. Please do this more. I love this. I love having all the different voices chiming in. Yeah. Um, J Q, thank you so much for joining me. This was a blast.

• 43:59Speaker 02

  Of course, thanks for gossiping with me. I loved being on here and I loved all these divas.

• 44:05Speaker 00

  Shout out to the divas.

• 44:06Speaker 02

  Shout out to the divas.

• 44:16Speaker 00

  Thank you so much for listening to Normal Gossip. If you have a gossip story to share with us, that email is [email protected], or you can leave us a voicemail at 2679Gossip. If you love this podcast and want to support us, become a friend or friend of a friend at supportnormalgossip.com. You can follow the show on Instagram and TikTok at @normalgossip. Normal Gossip is hosted by me, Rachel Hampton. Our lead producer is Ciara Spragley-Ricks. Our subscriber episodes are produced by Jay Toll-Viera. The co-creators and dowager queens of Normal Gossip are Alex Su-Jean Loughlin and Kelsey McKinney. Defector's project editor is Justin Ellis. Jasper Wang and Sean Kuhn are Defector's

• 45:01Speaker 00

  business guys. Alex Su-Jean Loughlin is Defector's supervising producer. Tom Lay is our editor-in-chief. Thanks to the rest of the Defector staff. Defector Media is a collectively-owned, subscriber-based media company, and Normal Gossip is a proud member of Radiotopia. Please remember, you did not hear this from me.

• 45:29Speaker 00

  Radiotopia.

• 45:32Speaker 00

  From PRX.