Mortgage Before Marriage, OnlyFans Deal Breakers, and Relationship Red Flags

This week, Tobie and Tony are dishing out their hot takes and offering some unfiltered advice on the wild relationship dilemmas taking over the internet. Is sharing a mortgage with someone you’re not married to a smart move or a recipe for disaster? How much is too much to share with your parents about your relationship? And is dating an OnlyFans model an automatic deal breaker? Nothing is off-limits as Tobie and Tony tackle it all with their signature mix of outrageous opinions, honesty, and surprisingly useful advice! See omnystudio.com/listener https://omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

• 0:00Speaker 00

  Guys, if you know me, you know, there's always something going on. Big games, streaming, traveling, making plans with the crew. I'm always on the move. That's why I like getting more out of the things I'm already doing. With T-Mobile, I get America's best network. Plus, weekly perks with T-Mobile Tuesdays. Like savings on movie tickets, streaming benefits, and access to unforgettable experiences. That's just one of the reasons to switch to T-Mobile. Find yours. Visit tmobile.com/switch. Qualifying plan required. Best mobile network in the U.S. based on the analysis by Ookla of Speedtest Intelligence data, 1H 2026.

• 0:39Speaker 01

  Coca-Cola. For the big, for the small, the short, and the tall. Peacemakers, risk-takers. For the optimists, pessimists. For long-distance love. For introverts and extroverts. The thinkers and the doers. For old friends and new. Coca-Cola. For everyone. Pick up some Coca-Cola at a store near you.

• 1:08Speaker 02

  Hey, what's up? It's Chiqui from Chiqui's in Chill. Okay, today's vibe, upgrade season. Because why do we level up in life but keep the same ride? If you're stepping into a new chapter, your car should match your energy. And cars.com is the perfect place to find it. With over 2 million new and used cars to choose from. I love the tools and filters. They make it easy to narrow it down by price, features, style. Tu decides. Y hello, no endless scrolling. You can check out real reviews from real people with real experiences. So tap into that new car energy and search cars.com. Cars.com, where to next?

• 1:44Speaker 03

  This is Iris Palmer from Against All Odds with Iris Palmer. You know that feeling when your skin needs a tall drink of water? That's when you reach for Clinique Moisture Surge 100-Hour Moisturizer and let your skin soak it up. It absorbs instantly and gives you 100 hours of hydration for that plump, healthy-looking glow. And the texture, lightweight, refreshing, oil-free gel cream that feels so good going on. Never heavy or weighted down. Plus, it's allergy-tested, fragrance-free, and safe for sensitive skin. Check, check, and super check. Try Clinique Moisture Surge 100-Hour today at Clinique.com. Feels like Moisture Surge.

• 2:22Speaker 04

  The people that complain about their husbands, are you, in your head, you're like, how the hell are you married to him? Because I feel like that with, with my friends when they complain about their husbands, like, how the hell you married to her?

• 2:33Speaker 04

  If I had to marry your wife, I would, I don't know what I would do.

• 2:36Speaker 02

  Right, you'd want to die. But I think that there's some of your friends that definitely feel like if they had to be married to me, they'd, I mean, they'd rather die than be married to me.

• 2:46Speaker 04

  It's hard.

• 2:54Speaker 02

  Welcome back, everybody, to No Safe Words with Tony and Toby. Today, we're going to be discussing relationship advice.

• 3:01Speaker 04

  Okay, let's do it. Tell me.

• 3:04Speaker 02

  Do you think you give good relationship advice?

• 3:07Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 3:08Speaker 02

  You think you're the best?

• 3:11Speaker 04

  Practical. I think I give good, good, practical advice.

• 3:16Speaker 04

  Because you, you know, I know what I've been through. I've read a lot of books on the subject. But yeah, yeah, I think I'm pretty good. Why? Do you think?

• 3:24Speaker 02

  No, I think, I think you give great advice.

• 3:26Speaker 04

  People, do people come to you for advice? People come to you for a lot. Yeah, you give great advice.

• 3:30Speaker 02

  I give unsolicited advice. Too much advice, probably. To the point where I think like my kids don't come to me for advice for that reason, just because I'm always giving it. Which means that I could probably pull back.

• 3:43Speaker 04

  Well, with the kids, I think it's, it's different, though. They don't really want to talk to you about their relationships that much. Especially when they're younger. Especially when they're younger.

• 3:51Speaker 02

  And I really wish they would.

• 3:53Speaker 04

  I know. No. Because, because you want them to like you. You want their, their.

• 3:59Speaker 02

  Yes, we know this.

• 3:59Speaker 04

  Boy or girlfriend to like you, right?

• 4:01Speaker 02

  Of course. What do you mean, when the girlfriends come in? They like, literally just pony up to the kitchen counter and talk to me about all of the. I just hang out with their friends because like, I feel like by hanging out with their girlfriends or girls who are friends, I get to like, find out about what's going on in their lives. Yeah.

• 4:17Speaker 04

  Yeah, it's more important to you. Like I.

• 4:20Speaker 02

  Well, we know. You are uninterested.

• 4:22Speaker 04

  I could care less. I could care less. Well, they're so young. Uh, our, our boy in eighth grade had a, like, a serious girlfriend. She's coming over all the time and I'm like, what is going on here? I know, but, yeah, what are you doing here? What do we, I don't know. It's.

• 4:38Speaker 02

  But he's 16 now.

• 4:39Speaker 04

  Yeah, he's 16 now. But to hear their arguments back then, remember, they would be on the phone. I could hear it up there. I'm like, what are we arguing about?

• 4:45Speaker 02

  You remember arguing over stuff like.

• 4:47Speaker 04

  No.

• 4:48Speaker 02

  You told me all the time that you'd get into ridiculous fights in like, high school and with your girlfriend.

• 4:53Speaker 04

  That's another reason why I don't want to hear this, hear the shit, because it's like.

• 4:56Speaker 02

  Because you're ashamed of yourself.

• 4:58Speaker 04

  No, not ashamed of myself. And I'm saying that they're, because it's nothing. You're, you're arguing over silly, silly stuff.

• 5:05Speaker 02

  It doesn't feel like nothing, though.

• 5:06Speaker 04

  So that's my advice to them. It's like, it's like, it's silly.

• 5:08Speaker 02

  Well, that's, that's not very good advice, then. I take it back. You aren't a very good relationship advice giver.

• 5:12Speaker 04

  That's because they're little kids.

• 5:13Speaker 02

  To young people.

• 5:14Speaker 04

  To young people.

• 5:14Speaker 02

  But you can't diminish the way they feel, because kids are so, you know, they're, it's still real to them. It's relative.

• 5:20Speaker 04

  I'm talking about the eighth grader. Now, my.

• 5:23Speaker 02

  High school.

• 5:23Speaker 04

  Our daughter, she was, was older. I'm not going to talk about details of her relationship. It's her relationship, but the stuff, I think I gave her good advice when she was in her relationship.

• 5:34Speaker 02

  I think you did. You give great advice. But you also have to put yourself in sort of the mentality of a high schooler. Like, you have to understand, because, you know, this is your daughter, your first daughter.

• 5:45Speaker 04

  Get a little angry.

• 5:46Speaker 02

  That, you know, boys are stupid.

• 5:49Speaker 04

  Stupid.

• 5:49Speaker 02

  You remember being that age, and you have to be a little bit like, you know.

• 5:55Speaker 04

  Is that your phone?

• 5:55Speaker 02

  That's Malia calling me.

• 5:57Speaker 04

  You seriously have your phone on right now?

• 5:58Speaker 02

  Because it's emergency contact. You guys, it's emergency contact. Because she has, she automatically rings no matter what.

• 6:06Speaker 04

  Okay, well, let's see what it is.

• 6:08Speaker 02

  Malia, what's up?

• 6:09Speaker 05

  Hi, Mom.

• 6:09Speaker 04

  Apologies.

• 6:10Speaker 02

  Hi.

• 6:11Speaker 05

  Are you home?

• 6:12Speaker 02

  No, I'm recording the podcast.

• 6:14Speaker 05

  Oh my gosh, I have a two-hour away game and I didn't bring pants. I'm gonna die.

• 6:20Speaker 04

  Pants?

• 6:20Speaker 02

  Pants. You're on speakerphone with Dad.

• 6:23Speaker 05

  Yes, the bus ride.

• 6:25Speaker 04

  Well, go home and go get them.

• 6:27Speaker 05

  I can't. I have 10 minutes till I leave. I thought.

• 6:30Speaker 04

  What do you need pants for?

• 6:31Speaker 02

  I'm sorry, honey.

• 6:32Speaker 04

  What do you need pants for?

• 6:33Speaker 02

  Comfortability?

• 6:35Speaker 05

  No, it's freezing on the bus and I'm in a skirt, so.

• 6:38Speaker 04

  Oh, well, that's your fault. You gotta, um, you gotta, uh, borrow somebody's.

• 6:44Speaker 05

  What are you talking about?

• 6:46Speaker 04

  It's good advice.

• 6:48Speaker 02

  All right, bad advice. Okay, well, we love you.

• 6:51Speaker 05

  Okay.

• 6:52Speaker 02

  Have a great game.

• 6:53Speaker 04

  Yeah, kick, kick, kick some ass.

• 6:55Speaker 02

  Love you.

• 6:56Speaker 04

  Have fun. Love you. Bye. Shouldn't have forgot. That's her fault. Borrow somebody's, but that's great advice. What are you talking about? Borrow somebody's sweats. That's what I would do, anyway.

• 7:06Speaker 02

  Okay, getting back to advice.

• 7:08Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 7:09Speaker 02

  I think that in, in my friendships, I am definitely the person that people come to for advice. Well, A, because I've been married for a million years, B, because we've raised kids. Our kids are older than most of our friends' kids. I feel like we're those people.

• 7:22Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 7:23Speaker 02

  We've, we've aged into that.

• 7:24Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 7:25Speaker 02

  You know?

• 7:25Speaker 04

  Yeah, I think with my friend group, it's, we talk about it all the time.

• 7:30Speaker 02

  You talk about me?

• 7:31Speaker 04

  All the time. All the time.

• 7:33Speaker 02

  What do you say?

• 7:35Speaker 04

  The good, the bad, and the ugly.

• 7:37Speaker 02

  You guys, I, I have to know, do men bitch about their wives as much as women bitch about their husbands?

• 7:41Speaker 04

  I don't, I don't know how much you guys bitch about your husbands, but.

• 7:45Speaker 02

  Like, all the time?

• 7:47Speaker 04

  All the time. Yeah, well, yeah, it comes up a lot. It comes up a lot.

• 7:52Speaker 02

  Does it really?

• 7:52Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 7:53Speaker 02

  I'm shocked.

• 7:55Speaker 04

  Well, yeah, yeah, what do you mean? It's, it's a big part. At least we do. Maybe there's, I don't know what the other men out there talk about. Yeah, I think, yes, friends. It's, it's a big part of the conversation, okay? Not like, hey, I'm having this and going through this. It's just like, what's going on? How's this? And then it'll always come up. Like, I hate it when she does this, or my wife does this and I can't stand this.

• 8:17Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 8:18Speaker 04

  Have you thought about trying this? Or what are you doing?

• 8:20Speaker 02

  So you really like, open up and you share with each other?

• 8:22Speaker 04

  I think so.

• 8:23Speaker 02

  You, you are honest about it. Do you think you're honest about it, or do you, do you think you like, don't tell the whole truth to make yourself look better?

• 8:29Speaker 04

  Uh, no, I, no. No, no, no, no. I'm definitely giving the whole truth. Nothing but the truth. So help me God, because.

• 8:37Speaker 02

  Sometimes I sprinkle a little sauce on it, you know what I mean? It makes them work.

• 8:40Speaker 04

  Really? I'm not surprised about that.

• 8:42Speaker 02

  Comedic effect.

• 8:43Speaker 04

  I know. I know. And I would, I would wish I was there. I always say that, like, and I know you're going to say something, and I bet that's what you tell them when you go tell your friends, like. You're not going to give them both sides of the story. I try to give both sides of the story, for sure, because I want the good advice. My friends, they give me good advice.

• 8:58Speaker 02

  No, I just want to feel seen and heard, and I want to feel like I'm like.

• 9:01Speaker 04

  Right.

• 9:01Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 9:02Speaker 04

  Yeah, you want to win.

• 9:03Speaker 02

  That's what I have my girlfriends for. I want to feel validated, even if I'm sometimes wrong, you know? It's like, that's what great girlfriends do. You know? Not all the time, obviously. Like, sometimes I need like, real advice, and sometimes I just need to be like, you got this girl. You're right. You tell him. And I'm like, yeah, even though I kind of know I'm wrong, I just like to hear like, that they got my back.

• 9:22Speaker 04

  Uh, yeah. Do you, because I'm thinking of my.

• 9:25Speaker 02

  What?

• 9:27Speaker 04

  The, the people that complain about their husbands, are you, in your head, you're like, how the hell are you married to him? Because I feel like that with, with my friends when they complain about their husbands, like, how the hell you married to her? If I had to marry your wife, I would, I don't know what I would do.

• 9:44Speaker 02

  Right, you'd want to die.

• 9:47Speaker 02

  You really feel like that? But I think that there's some of your friends that definitely feel like if they had to be married to me, they'd, I mean, they'd rather die than be married to me.

• 9:55Speaker 04

  It's hard.

• 9:58Speaker 04

  Relationships are hard. Oh, man.

• 10:02Speaker 02

  Well, I think it's important that we share with our friends and get advice from our friends and, and, you know, I think that's how you work through and learn about how to get better. It's like, you have to sort of like, play off, play out things. In in your group of friends.

• 10:17Speaker 04

  Yeah, I think it's good. I think it's good because if you got a really good group of friends and you respect their advice. And obviously, if they're your good friends, you should respect what they're where they're coming from.

• 10:26Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 10:27Speaker 04

  And I I really, I'm inspired. I mean, some some friends in my life, the the things that they do. When I'm sitting with people that I respect their relationship, we have a really good couple friend of ours.

• 10:37Speaker 02

  Mm hmm.

• 10:38Speaker 04

  Uh, I won't name their names, but when I see them together, they're all over each other. They're always constantly like compliment each other, kissing each other and stuff like that. And I'm like, you know what? I like that. I like that, especially us. Because you can move away from that over time.

• 10:51Speaker 02

  That's true.

• 10:51Speaker 04

  Uh, being married for twenty years, uh, I think it's important that uh, that you look to the the role models in your life. And and your friends sometimes may have that, uh, a certain aspect of their relationship. Now, there's other parts of it, I'd be like, oh, hell, no, I could never deal with that, but

• 11:06Speaker 02

  Right.

• 11:07Speaker 04

  that particular part of it I like, so.

• 11:09Speaker 02

  Yeah, I I, yeah, I see what you're talking about. I think when the long term relationship, like you have definitely become my punching bag. I think you said that to me last night.

• 11:16Speaker 04

  Totally.

• 11:17Speaker 02

  And it is true, and you have to be careful with that. Like, I have to remind myself, and everybody should remind themselves. Like, even though you you love this person more than anybody, which is you, I love you more than anything. And I feel more comfortable with you than anyone. I trust you more than anyone. And so it's almost like it backfires in a sense that like, I feel like I could just, if I'm in a bad mood, I could take it out on you because you're gonna love me. And I, you know me, and you know, like underneath it all, I I love you too, and you'll just forgive me. But if that gets away from you too long, it can it can start to damage your relationship. So you have to be very careful and mindful of like, if you really love this person, you're not going to, they're not going to be your punching bag.

• 11:58Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 11:59Speaker 02

  You know, all the time. Here and here and there, it's fine, because you, you know, it's like, whatever, but just be careful. It's good. It's a good reminder to just keep an eye on it.

• 12:08Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah. And and by the way, our our oldest boy, Nico, twenty five, I'm starting to get some advice from him. He's starting to drop some knowledge on me sometime.

• 12:17Speaker 02

  Twenty five.

• 12:18Speaker 04

  Yeah, and uh, you know, I think everybody, he's he's been through some a couple of relationships and

• 12:22Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 12:23Speaker 04

  and he's got good advice, and I try to give him good advice. He listens, so.

• 12:27Speaker 02

  He's a wise old old soul.

• 12:28Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 12:29Speaker 02

  He really is.

• 12:32Speaker 06

  Okay, hear me out. Tuesdays are the new Fridays. And no, I'm not talking about going out. I'm talking about T-Mobile Tuesdays. Porque when the week needs a little pick me up, who doesn't love una buena sorpresa? And now T-Mobile Tuesdays are available en español. Just set your phone to Spanish and that's it. Bien fácil. Honestly, being a T-Mobile member keeps getting better. Not only do I get America's best network, but I also get access to member perks and experiences I love. I'm talking streaming benefits, travel perks, weekly surprises with T-Mobile Tuesdays, and so much more. And I'm all about getting more out of the things I already love. So if you're looking for more reasons to switch to T-Mobile, there are plenty. Encuentra las tuyas. Switch now to tmobile.com/conectate.

• 13:14Speaker 06

  Qualifying plan required. Best mobile network in the U.S. based on analysis by Ookla of Speed Test Intelligence data one H twenty twenty six.

• 13:23Speaker 03

  This is Iris Palmer from Against All Odds with Iris Palmer. You know that feeling when your skin is just thirsty? Um, excuse me, I need some water over here. That's when you reach for Clinique Moisture Surge, a hundred hour moisturizer, and let your skin soak it up. It absorbs quickly and gives skin a hundred hours of hydration, so it feels fresh, plump, and glowing without that heavy or weighted down feeling. It's a lightweight, oil-free gel cream, and that refreshing feeling when it melts into your skin, love. And there's some good stuff behind all that moisture, too. Aloe bio-ferment and hyaluronic acid help skin hold on to hydration, so it stays feeling comfortably hydrated.

• 14:04Speaker 03

  And for all my sensitive skin girlies, it's allergy-tested, fragrance-free, and safe for sensitive skin. Check, check, and super check. Because honestly, when your skin is well hydrated, you can feel it. Just like that ah feeling when you're thirsty and finally get that tall glass of water, alive and with plump-looking skin, that's an aha. Try Clinique Moisture Surge a hundred hour today at Clinique.com. Feels like moisture surge.

• 14:32Speaker 01

  Coca-Cola. For the big, for the small, the short, and the tall. Peacemakers, risk-takers. For the optimist, pessimist, for long-distance love. For introverts and extroverts, the thinkers and the doers. For old friends and new. Coca-Cola for everyone. Pick up some Coca-Cola at a store near you.

• 15:01Speaker 07

  If you've been putting off car shopping because it sounds like a whole thing, I get it. Life moves quickly. There's already plenty to do. And personally, I really like when things are clear and easy. So here's a little tip. Buying your car online on AutoTrader makes the whole process way easier. I mean, really. And you don't have to choose between shopping online and going to the dealership. With AutoTrader, you can start online, then head to a dealer for a test drive, and finish wherever works best for you. So flexible, so convenient, and honestly, so recommended. And your information stays with you, so you're not starting over every time you take the next step.

• 15:42Speaker 07

  Plus, you're working with local dealers, so there are real people there to help you when you need them. And when you're ready, you can pick up your car or have it delivered. Life just got easier. You're welcome. Buy your car online on AutoTrader. Really.

• 15:59Speaker 04

  You know that place you've been thinking about? El departamento con la lavadora y secadora, con la casa con patio. That's you, Sunday. Everyone has one. Para mí, ese sueño no era solo llegar a la Grandes Ligas. It was every early morning, every workout, every swing. Fueron el sacrificio, la pasión y creer en mí. Little by little, my Sunday became today. Encontrar tu próximo hogar funciona de la misma manera. Whether you're buying, selling, or renting, Celo has everything you need in one place. Sus herramientas profesionales y aliados de confianza te acompañan en cada paso. So you can move forward with clarity and confidence. Hay algo que sé con certeza. You don't rest on a standing still. Tienes que dar el primer paso.

• 16:43Speaker 04

  So don't just keep talking about Sunday. Ask que ese día sea hoy. With Celo, Sunday starts today. B C Celo dot com slash today.

• 16:55Speaker 02

  Well, um, we're going to get into some questions that we have found on the Intranet.

• 17:02Speaker 04

  Nice.

• 17:03Speaker 02

  Um, we're gonna give some advice.

• 17:05Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 17:05Speaker 02

  Relationship advice, because there's some things on Reddit that have come up. And we're gonna talk about what we would do in these scenarios and give advice, okay?

• 17:16Speaker 04

  Go for it.

• 17:17Speaker 02

  Advice numero uno.

• 17:19Speaker 04

  Mm hmm. Wait, we're gonna listen to a scenario, and then we give advice about it.

• 17:23Speaker 02

  Correct.

• 17:24Speaker 04

  Okay. Did you just say that?

• 17:25Speaker 02

  This is like a Dear Abby, okay? But this is like advice from TNT, Tony and Toby.

• 17:31Speaker 04

  Are these people to us, or are we just picking up conversations?

• 17:33Speaker 02

  Picking up conversation.

• 17:34Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 17:35Speaker 02

  This is unsolicited advice.

• 17:36Speaker 04

  Wow. Oh, so.

• 17:39Speaker 02

  This is unsolicited advice, which we do hope that like our listeners will write in and will ask us questions that then we can honestly answer and give advice on.

• 17:48Speaker 04

  That would be great.

• 17:48Speaker 02

  We'd love, we'd love to help. You'd love that?

• 17:51Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 17:51Speaker 02

  Well, you're really good at it. You're really good at it, and you do like to give advice.

• 17:54Speaker 04

  We'll see.

• 17:55Speaker 02

  Okay, advice number one. I've been dating my boyfriend for over two years, and we are getting pretty serious and talking about

• 18:02Speaker 04

  What do you mean advice? What, um?

• 18:05Speaker 02

  Honey.

• 18:05Speaker 04

  What do you mean? This is advice to us?

• 18:07Speaker 02

  No, she's gonna, I'm gonna give you a scenario that someone's going through, and we're gonna give them advice.

• 18:11Speaker 04

  Why'd you call it advice? Advice number one, then?

• 18:14Speaker 02

  Because this is one scenario. I'm gonna give you another scenario after this.

• 18:17Speaker 04

  Well, we're gonna give, you're gonna say a story right now, and we're gonna give advice on it.

• 18:22Speaker 02

  Ding ding ding ding ding.

• 18:23Speaker 04

  So why would you call it advice?

• 18:25Speaker 02

  Because that's what we're doing. We're giving advice on what this person should do in their relationship.

• 18:30Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 18:30Speaker 02

  Are you okay?

• 18:31Speaker 04

  I don't know why you call it advice, number one. Let me, is that what it says there? Let me see it.

• 18:37Speaker 04

  Why would it say advice number one? Just say question about?

• 18:41Speaker 02

  Call it zumbidallybiddalaklida. I don't care. It's not question number one. It's scenario number one.

• 18:47Speaker 04

  Scenario number one, better. Not advice, because I, because I was listening, and I'm like, wait a second, this is advice they're giving to us?

• 18:55Speaker 04

  That's what I mean. It sounds, when you say advice number one, it sounds like you're giving advice to us.

• 18:58Speaker 02

  You're unbelievable. This is our advice we're giving. Scenario number one.

• 19:03Speaker 04

  Scenario number one, better.

• 19:05Speaker 02

  Scenario number one, lock in. I've been dating my boyfriend for over two years and we're getting pretty serious and talking about moving in together and engagement. He is 20 years my senior and has two middle school aged children, but our conversations about finances are making me uncomfortable. I'm happy to contribute toward household expenses, but because there's a significant difference in our financial situations, I don't think continuing to divide everything 50 50 is fair. The biggest issue is that he expects me to contribute toward his mortgage, even though my name would not be on the deed. I'm not looking for a free ride, but I'm uncomfortable putting money toward a property when I wouldn't be building any equity. There are other financial red flags in the relationship, but the mortgage question has me most puzzled. How should I approach this?

• 19:52Speaker 04

  You want to go first?

• 19:54Speaker 02

  Girl, run. No, it's fine.

• 19:57Speaker 04

  You know what I think is funny? Cause immediately when you hear that she's dating somebody 20 years her senior, you would think, stereotype.

• 20:07Speaker 02

  That he's rich.

• 20:08Speaker 04

  That he's rich. He's got cash.

• 20:10Speaker 02

  Boy, you're gonna get a man. Like significantly older than you, that doesn't have more money than you and then is the guy, what?

• 20:16Speaker 04

  It's not, it's not how it goes usually.

• 20:18Speaker 02

  That's not how it stereotypically goes.

• 20:19Speaker 04

  In fact, I don't think I've ever seen it in my existence. I've never seen that happen. Where a guy's dating somebody 20 years younger than, than himself.

• 20:29Speaker 02

  Here, that's my least.

• 20:31Speaker 04

  He needs her money.

• 20:31Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 20:32Speaker 04

  Which is different.

• 20:32Speaker 02

  It's, it's a, these are huge red flags. I definitely think asking to, and I've heard of scenarios like this before. I've actually like met somebody that was, that was questioning this. Um, because this person was already in that scenario. She was paying half the mortgage on a house that she was not on the deed of. And this person was like already established and they've been together forever and she hadn't gotten an engagement ring yet, like this, like this woman. So she's not only had, not, doesn't even have an engagement ring yet, but she's already contributing to a house that she isn't guaranteed or going to get any financial reimbursement for. I just, these are red flags and it's worth a conversation. I wouldn't necessarily run, like I said, initially, but like, we need to figure out these things out before you get engaged.

• 21:17Speaker 04

  I don't understand. I don't understand why this is a hard question to answer.

• 21:20Speaker 02

  Right.

• 21:21Speaker 04

  What, what the hell's going on here? You need to go up, go up to him and go, look, if I'm paying half the rent, put my name on the damn deed. I don't even, I don't even, what's, what's her name? Is she?

• 21:31Speaker 02

  We don't have a name.

• 21:32Speaker 04

  Okay. Well, come on.

• 21:34Speaker 02

  Let's call her Danielle.

• 21:36Speaker 04

  Come on Danielle.

• 21:38Speaker 02

  Danielle, Danielle, you have got to have the hard conversations, honey. You got.

• 21:42Speaker 04

  How is that a hard conversation? Just go to him and go, hey, I'm paying half the rent. I'm going on half, I want half the house. Like it's just in case something happens. We're not married. I don't have a ring. I don't have anything. I love you. I would like to pursue this. But if you expect me to pay half, put me on half. I don't even understand why this is a question.

• 22:01Speaker 02

  Yeah. There, you don't need to be timid about these kinds of conversations because if you're going into a marriage, potentially you're saying you want, you're going to get engaged. You have got to work these things out before you get married. A hundred percent. These are serious questions. Finances are sometimes the number one reason that people get divorced and you do not want to be mixed up.

• 22:19Speaker 04

  And if he pushes back, something's wrong. Something's wrong there. You need to say, hey, this, it's, it's not even a, hey, what do you think? No. It's like, look, I'm paying half the rent. I'm, I need to be on the half. If you got a problem with that, then we got a problem.

• 22:33Speaker 02

  Yeah. But the red flag is already there because he, there was, he didn't bring up the conversation.

• 22:38Speaker 04

  That was sometimes men are dead.

• 22:39Speaker 02

  He's 20 years older than her.

• 22:41Speaker 04

  Sometimes they don't think about that. Sometimes they don't think about that. Just in case, now you're probably right, but just in case he didn't even think about it. It's like, oh, he might say, you know, oh, you're right. You're absolutely right. I'll put you on half.

• 22:51Speaker 02

  You're right.

• 22:52Speaker 04

  On the deed. You go on the deed.

• 22:53Speaker 02

  But clock it and keep an eye on it. Cause if he shows any other signs of being like a little bit, I don't know, like this is yours, this is mine, dividing of the assets and all of that. I don't know. I think that's just a little weird going into a marriage like that. So just keep an eye on it. Okay, Danielle? All right. I'm not going to call this advice number two, because I don't want you to have a meltdown.

• 23:16Speaker 04

  Well, it wouldn't make sense if you did do it that way. It wouldn't even make sense, but go ahead.

• 23:19Speaker 02

  Scenario number two.

• 23:21Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 23:21Speaker 02

  Okay. This is basic info.

• 23:23Speaker 04

  Sure.

• 23:24Speaker 02

  I'm a 20, 29 year old female. He's a 31 year old male. We've been together for 2.5 years and.

• 23:30Speaker 04

  Start over real quick.

• 23:33Speaker 02

  I'm a 29 year old female. He's a 31 year old male. We've been together for two and a half years and have lived together in New York City for one year.

• 23:43Speaker 02

  Okay?

• 23:43Speaker 04

  Yep. Got it.

• 23:44Speaker 02

  All right. Short version. I think the whole my phone is private and off limits stance gets used as a shield more often than it is a healthy boundary. I'm not talking about snooping or checking up. I mean, the kind of behavior where a partner angles their screen away, takes calls in the other room or gets weird if you even touch their phone to change a song. Okay. Here's the context behind it. We both commute and juggle a lot and our schedules are chaotic. I'm often the one coordinating things like train times, reservations and plans. So it's normal for me to grab his phone. If mine is dead, to pull up a map or a confirmation. He recently told me he hates that and wants a hard rule that we never touch each other's phones unless the owner is actively holding it and watching.

• 24:36Speaker 02

  Girl, you 29.

• 24:39Speaker 02

  Sorry. Am I always going to have this reaction? Girl, run. Girl, you're 29. No. Um, you're 20, you're a 29 year old woman.

• 24:46Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 24:47Speaker 02

  I think you need to know and your gut and your instinct is telling you the, what is actually happening here. You are bringing this up and you're asking this question because you already know and feel that something is up. And as I always say, a woman intuition,

• 25:05Speaker 02

  she knows her shit.

• 25:06Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 25:07Speaker 02

  A woman's intuition, there's like, there's nothing like it and you need to trust that when it pops up. And by the way, this is actually fucking ridiculous. Are you kidding me? We can always look at our phones if the other person is actively watching.

• 25:19Speaker 04

  That's what's so funny.

• 25:20Speaker 02

  What are we talking about?

• 25:21Speaker 04

  Look at it while I hold it.

• 25:22Speaker 02

  No, I'm, I'm holding it.

• 25:26Speaker 04

  Okay. Scroll down.

• 25:27Speaker 02

  What in the hell? Could you imagine?

• 25:28Speaker 04

  Push that.

• 25:29Speaker 02

  Push, push, push. Your phone goes off. Oh, give it to me, give it to me. What in the hell?

• 25:33Speaker 04

  Come on, come on, girl. He's, somebody's messing around.

• 25:39Speaker 02

  Girl.

• 25:39Speaker 04

  Right? I mean, I wouldn't.

• 25:41Speaker 02

  These are my confessions. Uh-uh. He's got, he's got.

• 25:46Speaker 04

  Uh, yeah, I would think something's going on there. That's a red flag. It needs deeper dive into.

• 25:51Speaker 02

  Deeper dive, girl. Trust your gut because I promise you, it's time to snoop. It's time to snoop because you already know what you're about to find. And you should only ever snoop unless your gut is telling you something is really, really off. That is the only time I think a woman should snoop or a man should snoop is when you are having gut feeling, something pulling you that something's going on. Because it's usually true and then, and you probably find something and then it'll give you the reason you need to leave and handle it from there. Right?

• 26:24Speaker 04

  Yeah, I think so. I think,

• 26:27Speaker 04

  I mean, would I give you my phone to go through?

• 26:30Speaker 02

  No.

• 26:30Speaker 04

  I, I don't think, I would. I would be like, go ahead. Knock yourself out. I don't, I don't give a shit. But at the same time, I'm also like, relax. Okay. It's my phone.

• 26:39Speaker 02

  Right.

• 26:39Speaker 04

  But yeah, go ahead. I don't, I don't care.

• 26:41Speaker 02

  Well, I wouldn't tell you if I was doing that.

• 26:43Speaker 04

  Why? You wouldn't know my code.

• 26:45Speaker 02

  You think, you think I don't know.

• 26:46Speaker 04

  Do you know my code?

• 26:48Speaker 02

  Honey, when you're sleeping, I just put your face.

• 26:50Speaker 04

  Uh, I don't have that. I don't have that.

• 26:54Speaker 04

  Do you have my code?

• 26:55Speaker 02

  Don't worry about me. Okay. Okay, okay, okay. Scenario number three. You ready?

• 27:02Speaker 04

  Yep.

• 27:03Speaker 02

  My wife tells her parents everything about our marriage, our fights, finances and major decisions. And then her parents weigh in. I've told her, I feel like there are four people in our relationship. She says she just is close with her family. We are expecting our first baby in a few months and I feel like this type of oversharing will cause conflict in parenting decisions we make together. Am I wrong for asking her to stop discussing our private business with her parents?

• 27:32Speaker 04

  Now this is a good one. This is tough.

• 27:34Speaker 02

  This is actually.

• 27:34Speaker 04

  This is actually a, a scenario that I'm sure happens a lot.

• 27:38Speaker 02

  And it's tough.

• 27:39Speaker 04

  Yeah. And it's one of those things that you and I have that, that we don't have unfortunately, because your mom passed away at a very young age and your father really.

• 27:48Speaker 02

  He's older.

• 27:49Speaker 04

  He's older. He really, yeah, wasn't, wasn't around. Like you don't have that type of relationship with them. So I don't have to deal with that. Like I don't have parents coming in town, your parents, in-laws coming to stay with me and my friends are always like, yeah, her parents are coming over and all this shit. And it sounds like a nightmare. It sounds like a fricking nightmare. But some of them really love their in-laws too, but I could imagine.

• 28:09Speaker 02

  I love my, I love my mother-in-law.

• 28:10Speaker 04

  Yeah, she's great. Uh, so yeah, this is, this is a tough one, but I think that absolutely, I think you have every right to, to approach it and be like, look, I know you have this relationship with your mom and your dad and

• 28:23Speaker 04

  I, it, it's okay, but there are certain things that I, I would love to have rules. This is where I think rules are good. Boundaries in a relationship, just like, look, we're not going to talk finances with them. Don't go into detail with them. Look, when we have this child, just look, we can take their advice because I'm sure they have a little bit of wisdom. They raised you. You're a beautiful woman and I love you. So obviously they know what they're doing. But I like to keep some things between us. That's, this is, this is my family. It's not their family.

• 28:52Speaker 02

  I agree. I think once you get married and have your own children, there does need to be like serious boundary between like your nucleus family and your parents and your siblings and his family and you know, all the families. It's like, you need to have sort of like your own private relationship. And obviously you can share certain things. I mean, if you're close with your parents and everything, it's wonderful. It's beautiful and you can, and you should share.

• 29:20Speaker 04

  Should.

• 29:21Speaker 02

  You should.

• 29:21Speaker 04

  Parents have wisdom. They're older. They've been around. They know what they're talking about.

• 29:24Speaker 02

  With boundaries and that looks different for everyone.

• 29:27Speaker 04

  It looks different for everybody. I talk to my mother about our relationship once in a while when I need to. And so, well, yeah. And, and she'll give me advice.

• 29:37Speaker 02

  You better, you're perfect, honey. Don't you worry. You know, she's got to figure it out and everything's my fault. I'm sure.

• 29:42Speaker 04

  Always your fault. It's always your fault. No, it's not. No, it's not. No. She'll, she'll give good, fair advice. It seems. I think so.

• 29:49Speaker 02

  Tony, do not be delusional. You're her baby.

• 29:52Speaker 04

  Well, I think most parents, that's the other thing that people out there, when you do go to your parents, they're going to favor you. They're going to be like.

• 29:59Speaker 02

  One-sided.

• 29:59Speaker 04

  Yeah. Um, I would do that. I could see you.

• 30:05Speaker 02

  That was advocate.

• 30:06Speaker 04

  Oh, my goodness. When our kids get a little bit older.

• 30:09Speaker 02

  You just got a flash, didn't you, before your eyes?

• 30:11Speaker 04

  I can see you. I can see you button in a little too much. For sure.

• 30:16Speaker 04

  For, don't you think so? You're gonna be button in a little too much.

• 30:19Speaker 02

  Lucky.

• 30:19Speaker 04

  Uh, and I'm gonna have to hear the shit.

• 30:21Speaker 02

  Uh, I'm, you know.

• 30:23Speaker 04

  Don't drag me into it, please.

• 30:25Speaker 02

  You're gonna wanna be dragged in. You're gonna love it. You're gonna be so old and bored.

• 30:29Speaker 04

  I think so.

• 30:30Speaker 02

  You're gonna be like, give me the, give me the juice. What's going on?

• 30:32Speaker 04

  Yeah. But anyway, so I think that's something, I think that's a conversation you gotta sit down and have with that person. We'll call him Matt. Matt, sit down.

• 30:39Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm.

• 30:40Speaker 04

  Talk to her.

• 30:40Speaker 02

  That's right.

• 30:41Speaker 04

  Tell her, look, this is, this is between us. Don't bring that to your parents.

• 30:45Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 30:45Speaker 04

  Please.

• 30:46Speaker 02

  Please. Don't bring everything to your parents, but bring things to your parents. Just not everything. Certain things.

• 30:51Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 30:52Speaker 02

  Are private.

• 30:53Speaker 04

  Yep, for sure.

• 30:53Speaker 02

  I agree. Great advice, honey. Scenario numero cuatro. Okay. Should I interfere or stay out of it is the question? My childhood best friend has been dating a guy for three years and our friend group collectively does not like him. We are all married and are starting families and I know she feels behind, but I worry she's settling with the wrong guy. Reasons for not liking him is because he can be really rude and dismissive of her in front of us, which makes me wonder how things are behind closed doors.

• 31:25Speaker 04

  Hmm.

• 31:25Speaker 02

  He doesn't have much going on for himself and I find she is the one pushing him. He's not meeting her potential. And I feel like he brings her down. There's nothing blatantly awful about him, but I can just see this not lasting long, though, the obstacles of marri- long through the obstacles of marriage. I've expressed once before that he's not my favorite, but I fear she might settle with him. Is it my place to say more? Or just trust she'll make the right decision for herself? Why are you laughing? You couldn't even hold it in.

• 31:55Speaker 04

  Sounds like the guy's a loser. I'm like, whoever this guy is, geez. Well, he's not a very good, uh, partner for, for your, for your friend, for your best friend.

• 32:03Speaker 02

  Well, you said something interesting, uh, to me, maybe last week or something. You said to one of our friends who isn't dating someone anymore and was dating them. You said, you know, one thing you gotta pay attention to is that if your friends, like your group of friends does not like the person you're dating, or just isn't, doesn't love him, like really, really, really like him, that should be a signal for you. That should be a sign to you that maybe he's not the right person. Because if your best friends aren't like smitten with him, not like you have to be obsessed, but like really, really like this person, look at it like a red flag almost.

• 32:42Speaker 04

  Totally.

• 32:43Speaker 02

  Is sort of what you said. And I, I have to agree.

• 32:45Speaker 04

  Yeah. Well, I don't know. We might've talked about it on this show, but we definitely have talked about this before. Because if you respect your friends and you got, you got good friends, and I hopefully you do, you respect your friend's opinion. That's why you're good friends. Um, they're not gonna steer you wrong. They don't wanna see you unhappy. They want the best person for you. Same thing goes with your family.

• 33:04Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm.

• 33:05Speaker 04

  I mean, unless, unless you got something toxic going on, which could happen too, where, you know, your mom or your dad or your friends are jealous of you or whatever. But I mean, if, overall, if you have a healthy relationship with the people around you, then you should definitely, definitely see what they think about this person.

• 33:20Speaker 02

  Yeah, and, and really listen, because it's, it's so hard when you're in love with somebody and you have those blinders on and you're just like.

• 33:27Speaker 04

  You miss the red flags. That's what love does.

• 33:28Speaker 02

  Miss them. You miss them.

• 33:30Speaker 04

  You miss them. Like, he's talking to you crazy, it sounds like, and this, that's why I said he sounds like he's not a very nice guy. He's demeaning her in front of people, putting her down.

• 33:38Speaker 02

  First of all, that's just, he sounds like a dick. And you, you know what? He sounds like somebody who you're gonna be, who's gonna be just, you're gonna be dragging along for the rest of your life behind you to like, it just doesn't last.

• 33:48Speaker 04

  So how do you get people when they're blinded by the light of love?

• 33:52Speaker 02

  Right.

• 33:53Speaker 04

  What do you say to them to, to, to get them up out of there?

• 33:56Speaker 02

  God, that's so hard. So my.

• 33:58Speaker 04

  Do you have like an intervention or something like that? Do you, but?

• 34:01Speaker 02

  I've been in this scenario before.

• 34:03Speaker 04

  Yeah, you've been in this?

• 34:03Speaker 02

  I have, and I think that there's two ways this can go. If you say too much and you push it, you could lose the trust of your friend. You could lose your friend potentially. So you have to be very careful how you go about this. You don't wanna overstep your boundaries as a friend and tell them what they should do with their lives, because it's just not your place in general. It's not my place with any friend. It just isn't. But if they ask your opinion about them, you, you give it truthfully one time. And you don't have to be harsh about it. Just be like, you know, I don't.

• 34:32Speaker 04

  You don't have to be brutal about it.

• 34:33Speaker 02

  You don't have to be brutal about it, but you can be like, look, I, I see him being a little bit like this with you. I, I don't know. It kinda, it was weird the other day when he said this or acted like this. And don't you think he could be a little bit more motivated and don't you think you'll get tired pushing him all the time? I don't know. I would just sort of say little things and then I would leave it. Say it and leave it and, and hope and pray that she comes to it on her own, because usually they do. If you have a smart friend, she sounds like a smart girl, if, you know, it's like, hopefully she figures it out.

• 35:04Speaker 04

  That's a lot of, that takes a lot of, lot of balls on your part to just give that opinion to your friend when they're not asking for it. When they're not asking for it. Cause a lot of people are like, I don't, I don't, I didn't, I didn't ask you. I don't, I don't need that from you.

• 35:18Speaker 02

  I've told two of my friends.

• 35:20Speaker 04

  You better be really solid, solid friends with this person.

• 35:22Speaker 02

  I've told two friends of mine, this is being very candid, I've told two friends of mine who you know, not to marry, um, not to get married, or that possibly they pick, they should think twice before marrying the person that they were engaged to. And they were already engaged. And it did take balls for me to say something, but I thought to myself, if I don't say something, what kind of friend am I to like just not say anything and to watch them walk into this fire? And I did say something and I said it in a very gentle way, but I just, I, I didn't say it for me. I said it just because like I needed someone to say something. I felt like nobody was saying it, but everyone was thinking it. And so like, I said it for the, for the group of us. I said it for all of us and they still went through with it.

• 36:06Speaker 02

  And not to say that they regret because, you know, wasn't a totally bad experience, but they didn't end a long-term marriage. You know what I mean?

• 36:15Speaker 04

  It's, I think it's different.

• 36:16Speaker 02

  Some of them are, one of them is still married and it's just, again, uh, in my opinion, just they're not happy. It's, and, and that's not my choice. It's not my life. All I can do is offer, all you can do is offer, my advice to this girl is, all you can do is offer your friend a little bit of advice gently and let it go.

• 36:34Speaker 04

  Yeah. I think for guys, it might be a little bit different, though.

• 36:36Speaker 02

  What would you do?

• 36:37Speaker 04

  No, I just don't think.

• 36:38Speaker 02

  You wouldn't say shit. You'd be like, good luck.

• 36:41Speaker 04

  Hey.

• 36:42Speaker 02

  That's what you do. You go, hey.

• 36:43Speaker 04

  Hey, you like it? I guess. Hey, it's not my life. It's not my wife.

• 36:48Speaker 02

  That's awful. You're not gonna say anything.

• 36:52Speaker 04

  Only if they ask me. I don't, I, for me personally.

• 36:55Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 36:55Speaker 04

  That's why I said this is a good one, because I'm, I was, as I'm sitting here thinking, I'm processing it. And I've seen people, you know, I have a couple of friends too that have made the wrong, well, in hindsight, they made the wrong choice.

• 37:08Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 37:09Speaker 04

  And I kinda saw it from at the beginning too.

• 37:11Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 37:12Speaker 04

  And it was, but I didn't say anything, because I'm not gonna say, you're in love. That's your thing. You wanna do it. Go ahead.

• 37:16Speaker 02

  They have to go through it, you guys. People have to go through it.

• 37:19Speaker 04

  But you're taking a risk. If you do say something.

• 37:21Speaker 02

  I know.

• 37:21Speaker 04

  And they, more like they're probably not gonna listen to you. And then now there's gonna be in the back of their mind of like, you don't like this person. They know this. Unless you do it gentle, maybe you have a better way.

• 37:30Speaker 02

  I did it gently.

• 37:31Speaker 04

  I just don't know about my approach, because I would be like, hey, I don't know about that one.

• 37:35Speaker 02

  Well, that's not good. That wasn't good. You got no finesse.

• 37:37Speaker 04

  You might wanna think, think about this one. I don't know how to say it. That was a, yeah. I don't know.

• 37:43Speaker 02

  It's hard. It's really hard.

• 37:45Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 37:45Speaker 02

  You can do it my way or you can do it like.

• 37:47Speaker 04

  So all the guys out there listening, I, I, I would approach that one. I'd, I'd, I don't know how you could present it in a way to inception your, your, your friend, your boy to, to want to ask you. Like, how can I, how could you get him to ask you? Cause then you'd be like, oh, well, you asked me.

• 38:05Speaker 02

  I, I would approach it if I was a guy. I'd be like, so how's it going with so and so? Like, do you feel like she makes you a better person? Do you feel like she brings out the best? Maybe ask more like questions about how this person makes a positive influence on their life and take it from there.

• 38:19Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 38:19Speaker 02

  Because maybe you can like coax him to ask you.

• 38:22Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 38:23Speaker 02

  You know?

• 38:24Speaker 04

  Yeah, okay. It's tough.

• 38:25Speaker 02

  It's very tough. Tough scenario.

• 38:31Speaker 00

  Guys, if you know me, you know there's always something going on. Big games, streaming, traveling, making plans with the crew. There's always something on the calendar. So I'm all about getting more out of the things I'm already doing. And that's why I like about being a T-Mobile member. I get America's best network and weekly perks with T-Mobile Tuesdays. Every week, there's something new to check out, from savings on movie tickets and streaming benefits to access to unforgettable experiences. And now, T-Mobile Tuesdays are available in Spanish too. Just set your phone to Spanish. I know. Easy, right? That's a lot of value on top of a network that already gives you the most. And it's just one of the reasons to switch to T-Mobile.

• 39:13Speaker 00

  Find yours. Visit tmobile.com/switch. Qualifying plan required. Best mobile network in the U.S. based on the analysis by Ookla of Speedtest Intelligence data, 1H 2026.

• 39:24Speaker 03

  This is Iris Palmer from Against All Odds with Iris Palmer. You know that feeling when your skin is just thirsty? Um, excuse me, I need some water over here. That's when you reach for Clinique Moisture Surge, 100-Hour Moisturizer, and let your skin soak it up. It absorbs quickly and gives skin 100 hours of hydration, so it feels fresh, plump, and glowing without that heavy or weighted down feeling. It's a lightweight, oil-free gel cream, and that refreshing feeling when it melts into your skin, love. And there's some good stuff behind all that moisture too. Aloe Bio Ferment and Hyaluronic Acid help skin hold on to hydration, so it stays feeling comfortably hydrated.

• 40:05Speaker 03

  And for all my sensitive skin girlies, it's allergy-tested, fragrance-free, and safe for sensitive skin. Check, check, and super check. Because honestly, when your skin is well-hydrated, you can feel it. Just like that ah feeling when you're thirsty and finally get that tall glass of water, alive and with plump-looking skin, that's an aha. Try Clinique Moisture Surge 100-Hour today at Clinique.com. Feels like Moisture Surge.

• 41:03Speaker 02

  If you've been putting off car shopping because it sounds like a whole thing, I get it. Life moves quickly. There's already plenty to do. And personally, I really like when things are clear and easy. So here's a little tip. Buying your car online on AutoTrader makes the whole process way easier. I mean, really. And you don't have to choose between shopping online and going to the dealership. With AutoTrader, you can start online, then head to a dealer for a test drive, and finish wherever works best for you. So flexible, so convenient, and honestly, so recommended. And your information stays with you, so you're not starting over every time you take the next step.

• 41:44Speaker 02

  Plus, you're working with local dealers, so there are real people there to help you when you need them. And when you're ready, you can pick up your car or have it delivered. Life just got easier. You're welcome. Buy your car online on AutoTrader. Really.

• 42:00Speaker 04

  You know that place you've been thinking about? El departamento con la lavadora y secadora, con la casa con patio? That's your Sunday. Everyone has one. Para mí, ese sueño no era solo llegar a la Grandes Ligas. It was every early morning, every workout, every swing. Fueron el sacrificio, la pasión y creer en mí. Little by little, my Sunday became today. Encontrar tu próximo hogar funciona de la misma manera. Whether you're buying, selling, or renting, Celo has everything you need in one place. Sus herramientas profesionales y aliados de confianza te acompañan en cada paso. So you can move forward with clarity and confidence. Hay algo que sé con certeza. You don't reach home standing still. Tienes que dar el primer paso.

• 42:44Speaker 04

  So don't just keep talking about Sunday. Haz que ese día sea hoy. With Celo, Sunday starts today. B C Celo dot com slash today.

• 42:56Speaker 02

  Okay. Scenario number five. I've been seeing a new girl for about three months now. I really like her. She checks all my boxes. I'm at a point in life where I'm ready to get married and find the one. And this girl could be it. Except...

• 43:13Speaker 04

  Whoa.

• 43:13Speaker 02

  Dot, dot, dot.

• 43:14Speaker 04

  Here it comes.

• 43:15Speaker 02

  I found out she does OnlyFans.

• 43:20Speaker 02

  Let me finish. Calm down.

• 43:25Speaker 02

  And I found this out in the worst possible way. I brought her over to my friend's house for a barbecue so she can meet my buddies. Bring her into my world, you know? Ask, see how she does. One of my friends called me a couple of days later and he told me that he knows her. Kind of. He subscribes to her OnlyFans page. My heart dropped. At the very least, I was hoping it was just a feet pic count. But he shared she does partially nude photos and messages top subscribers.

• 44:00Speaker 02

  No shame to those in this industry, but I don't think that this aligns with my morals. And now, one of my friends has seen her in pretty intimate ways. Also, she does have a job, but I guess she does this on the side. What should I do? Do I end things, ask her about it, ask her to stop? I'm embarrassed and feel conflicted.

• 44:19Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 44:22Speaker 02

  Tony, you're terrible.

• 44:26Speaker 04

  What a scenario. Oh, God, you can't write this stuff. Oh, that's great.

• 44:33Speaker 04

  Fantastic.

• 44:36Speaker 02

  Why is it fantastic?

• 44:37Speaker 04

  I don't know. That story made me feel good.

• 44:41Speaker 02

  Because you would want to be a fly on the wall at that barbecue.

• 44:44Speaker 04

  Oh, my God.

• 44:45Speaker 02

  Where everyone's huddled around going like, oh, shit, I know that girl.

• 44:50Speaker 04

  How do I know you? Wait a second. I can't place it. How do I know?

• 44:54Speaker 02

  It's like I was hoping for a, for feet pics.

• 44:58Speaker 02

  Turns out, she's got top subscribers. Top subscribers, you know what's happening there.

• 45:04Speaker 04

  The way he said it too, intimate photos. He knows intimate.

• 45:07Speaker 02

  He sounds like a sweetheart. You sound like a sweetheart and, you know...

• 45:14Speaker 02

  Not to say that she's not a wonderful gal. She sounds lovely. It just seems like your morals don't align. I don't know. And I don't know that, like, my biggest concern with OnlyFans is that these are out there forever. These are, this is the world wide web, guys. This is...

• 45:31Speaker 04

  Yeah, but I think we're forgetting something here.

• 45:33Speaker 02

  What?

• 45:34Speaker 04

  He was saying that she didn't tell him from the beginning.

• 45:38Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 45:38Speaker 04

  That is where I have the problem.

• 45:40Speaker 02

  That's the biggest issue.

• 45:41Speaker 04

  Because you didn't give me a choice. And you led me down a hallway that I thought was going here, and it's not. It's going the other way. And now I showed up at the barbecue with my boys.

• 45:52Speaker 02

  He thought, he thought he was the OnlyFan.

• 45:56Speaker 02

  Clock it.

• 45:57Speaker 04

  Okay, good one.

• 46:00Speaker 02

  Turns out.

• 46:02Speaker 04

  Turns...

• 46:02Speaker 02

  He's not.

• 46:04Speaker 04

  But anyway, so I think that's deception, deceitful.

• 46:09Speaker 02

  It is deception. Huge deception.

• 46:11Speaker 04

  Yeah, you gotta be honest. And she wasn't honest from the beginning. I would say, move on. It's time to move on.

• 46:17Speaker 02

  Immediately?

• 46:18Speaker 04

  Because you could be okay with that.

• 46:19Speaker 02

  I think he loves her.

• 46:20Speaker 04

  There's people out there, I'm not, like you said too, you can date somebody with OnlyFans. I don't, I don't, I don't know what's going on, but...

• 46:27Speaker 02

  Look, Greg, I'm gonna call you Greg. It's only been three months. You might, you might think you're in love, but it's early enough to pull out of the game.

• 46:33Speaker 04

  But she lied.

• 46:34Speaker 02

  And she lied, which is the hugest red flag ever. Of all this, aside from your morals not being on track, which is also a huge deal, she lied to you and she started the relationship in a lie.

• 46:45Speaker 04

  It wasn't forthcoming.

• 46:47Speaker 02

  You got, you gotta end it. You gotta move on. You deserve better.

• 46:50Speaker 04

  Have some fun. Have some fun. You're single. Keep dating her for a little bit, but there's...

• 46:55Speaker 02

  Tony.

• 46:55Speaker 04

  What?

• 46:56Speaker 02

  You think you should stay with her because she's on OnlyFans and she seems like fun. Stay with her a little bit longer.

• 47:00Speaker 04

  Well, what if they're having a good time and he's like, oh, but I like her. She's funny. She's smart.

• 47:04Speaker 02

  But then you're taking the chance of like falling deeper in love and...

• 47:06Speaker 04

  No, you're not. No, we're not. Why? No, you're not. You don't have to fall in love. I think, I, well, maybe everybody's different, but for me, I would be like, okay, well, cool. We'll keep having some fun, but it's not, we're never, it's never gonna get, nothing serious. It's just, you still, you still stay on the wave. Like, you keep going.

• 47:25Speaker 02

  Enjoy yourself. All right, Greg, enjoy yourself.

• 47:28Speaker 04

  I would say enjoy yourself.

• 47:29Speaker 02

  For what it is.

• 47:30Speaker 04

  Yeah, but I would never take it too seriously. Like, we're not gonna, you're not gonna meet my mom or nothing like that.

• 47:34Speaker 02

  Yeah. Your wife isn't gonna start the relationship in a lie, period. So, I agree. Enjoy, have some fun if you want, but it sounds like she's not the one.

• 47:45Speaker 04

  She's not the one. I wouldn't, I wouldn't, no.

• 47:48Speaker 02

  No.

• 47:48Speaker 04

  No.

• 47:50Speaker 02

  Would you have dated me in, put us in this scenario? If I didn't tell you?

• 47:54Speaker 04

  No.

• 47:54Speaker 02

  You wouldn't have dated me?

• 47:55Speaker 04

  No.

• 47:56Speaker 02

  It's over. Okay, what if I told you upfront, would you have dated me if I said I have an OnlyFans? We just met?

• 48:00Speaker 04

  No. No. But that's me. What you calling Greg? Greg might be okay with that.

• 48:06Speaker 02

  Scenario number six. Our final scenario. You ready for this?

• 48:11Speaker 04

  Do it.

• 48:11Speaker 02

  When does life get fun again after having kids? My husband and I have three kids aged one, three, and five. Wow. We are hanging on by a thread. How do we get the spark back again? I feel like we barely know each other. I miss our old selves. Breaks my heart.

• 48:30Speaker 04

  Tough one. Tough one. That's sad.

• 48:32Speaker 02

  Well, because we've been there. It's hard raising three little kids.

• 48:35Speaker 04

  They're in the shit. As we call it right now, man. You got those little kids running around. It's, it's chaos. Chaos.

• 48:42Speaker 02

  Yeah, go easy on yourself because this is, this is the toughest part about, like, toughest ages as far as like being in the weeds and not coming up for air. Like, you are floundering right now. This is what everybody goes through when they have young kids. You are not alone. Everybody's been there. And it seems like, you know, you have a good foundation, you love each other. You, you will get back to that. I promise you. It just takes some effort.

• 49:08Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah. And you talk about effort, and by that, you gotta come up with like a plan of action so you can make sure that you maintain that closeness and that relationship. Means, get your mom or your, or your friend, come over, watch the kids for a night. So you can go out, you know, do date night, go to the movies, go grab some dinner, go grab a cocktail somewhere. And if that doesn't work, go for a walk. Just, just, you gotta maintain that connection. Otherwise, it's gonna be a long haul.

• 49:36Speaker 02

  I agree.

• 49:36Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 49:37Speaker 02

  You have to make time just for you two. Even when you're exhausted, you just, you just gotta do it because you never regret it. You know, you might be like, oh, I'm too tired to address. But once you get in that shower and you get dressed up and you feel like yourself again, it's all worth it because you just are reminded like, oh, I am my own person separate from this like, you know, parasitic life I'm living where these kids are just all over me, sucking the life out of me. And you love it and you love them, but it's like, you have to be reminded to get back to yourself and to like...

• 50:05Speaker 04

  What kind of routines did you have when you were going through that with us? Did you, do you remember anything that you used to do to kind of...

• 50:12Speaker 02

  Yeah. I, I...

• 50:13Speaker 04

  Avoid the shit?

• 50:14Speaker 02

  I definitely, I think that this, this woman, she has, I mean, a three, what, one, three, and five. Well, the three and five should potentially be in school. So, three, you could, you could start preschool, possibly. You could start preschool. But if you get a break and they're in school and hopefully you can get a sitter or have your mom or your sister come over and watch them for an hour. Like, for me, it was a game changer to like, take a yoga class or go to a Pilates class. Like, one thing for like my mental health and my physical health to just like take care of myself in some way, at least like a couple of times a week, was a game changer for me. And then another game changer was you. You were like, you would forcibly be like, we're going out to dinner.

• 50:57Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 50:58Speaker 02

  Or we're going to go do something. And I would be forced to then take a shower and get ready and get dressed up. And it was ultimately so good for me.

• 51:06Speaker 04

  Did she say anything about she lost the, the spark is losing? What's the...

• 51:09Speaker 02

  No, she's just saying like, I, I feel like we barely know each other. You know, like you're passing ships in the night. It's like, she wants to get back to like their old selves, like being in love again.

• 51:17Speaker 04

  What about scheduled sexy time? Schedule?

• 51:20Speaker 02

  I mean...

• 51:21Speaker 04

  Because with kids, that's another thing too. It's so hard when kids are out or coming in, especially little ones because they're coming in, you gotta lock the door in the middle of the night, coming in to sleep in the bed, all that stuff. It's just so, it's so, I don't know. What's the word I'm looking for? It's...

• 51:39Speaker 02

  Not hot. It is not sexy.

• 51:43Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 51:44Speaker 02

  And by the time the nighttime comes, you are so exhausted.

• 51:47Speaker 04

  Exhausted. You're like, I'm done. No, let's go to bed and I'll see you tomorrow. I'll get you. I'll get you next week.

• 51:54Speaker 02

  Oh, God.

• 51:54Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 51:55Speaker 02

  Sometimes you just gotta get a quickie in, you know, you gotta do what you gotta do.

• 51:58Speaker 04

  Ah, well.

• 51:59Speaker 02

  Get in where you fit in, but.

• 52:00Speaker 04

  That's what I'm saying. Scheduled, scheduled, scheduled intimacy.

• 52:03Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 52:04Speaker 04

  As the experts would call it, I think is important when you're in that, in the, in the shit.

• 52:08Speaker 02

  In the weeds.

• 52:09Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 52:09Speaker 02

  And just know that you're not alone.

• 52:10Speaker 04

  Jungle, man. You gotta, you gotta come out once in a while.

• 52:13Speaker 02

  I know.

• 52:13Speaker 04

  Get back to reality. Uh, and you have to schedule that. You have to really, really plan around that. Watching a show too. That's one thing I think we did that as far as connection.

• 52:22Speaker 02

  Yeah. Having a show you watch together.

• 52:24Speaker 04

  Affection is connection.

• 52:26Speaker 02

  Affection is connection. Look at you. Put it on a T-shirt.

• 52:30Speaker 04

  I will.

• 52:31Speaker 02

  All right.

• 52:31Speaker 04

  Good one.

• 52:32Speaker 02

  That's great. Uh, but yeah, you're right. And, and by the way, it's important for the husbands to, to make their wives feel sexy and to pull them out because it's very hard for a mom to want to leave her kids at those ages. She just.

• 52:44Speaker 04

  Yeah, that makes sense.

• 52:46Speaker 02

  It's like you feel like you, you should be there all the time. You, it's like this weird animalistic sort of thing in us as mothers. Like it's hard for us to be pulled away, but like if the husband.

• 52:56Speaker 04

  Most mothers are that way. Yeah. Some women are like, hey, I'm gone. I'm, let's go.

• 53:00Speaker 02

  It was hard for me.

• 53:01Speaker 04

  I think my mom was like that.

• 53:02Speaker 02

  Your mom's like, I'm gone.

• 53:03Speaker 04

  Bye.

• 53:03Speaker 02

  She said, I got a date. I know. She was so cute and she was so good about that, but I was not. And I was so glad to have you sort of get me to get up and go out and have a life outside of the kids.

• 53:15Speaker 04

  Yeah. Cause it's so important. So important.

• 53:18Speaker 02

  Yeah. Cause if you guys aren't good, the kids aren't good. Just always remember that. If you guys are not good, the kids are not good. And you have to like water your marriage, you know, keep it green, keep it going, keep it growing. It's important. You have to prioritize it. Otherwise you will slowly, but surely it'll get worse and worse and worse. And you don't want to do that. You don't, you don't want to do that. Just know that you're not alone. You're in the fricking weeds and you will come out the other side. Just make a little effort.

• 53:42Speaker 04

  Mm-hmm.

• 53:43Speaker 02

  Right?

• 53:43Speaker 04

  I agree.

• 53:44Speaker 02

  This was really fun.

• 53:45Speaker 04

  Yeah, it was good. Is that it?

• 53:46Speaker 02

  I had a good time answering these questions with you.

• 53:48Speaker 04

  That was fun. That was fun. We need, we need people to ask more questions. Is this like a thing we're gonna be doing?

• 53:53Speaker 02

  Yeah, guys. Send us questions and I, we love giving advice. Clearly we have a lot to say.

• 53:59Speaker 02

  I don't know if it's all great, but we enjoy it.

• 54:01Speaker 04

  Oh, it's good stuff right there. Everybody, you just heard some good shit.

• 54:05Speaker 02

  There's some gems in there, guys.

• 54:06Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 54:06Speaker 02

  Well, thank you for listening to No Safe Words and we'll see you next time.

• 54:16Speaker 07

  Honey, Felipe sent another photo. From Argentina? How? With T-Mobile, of course. Mira, he's video calling us. Hola familia. Did you get my photos? We did. They're so pretty. Here to share every moment with T-Mobile. Enjoy data roaming at no extra charge in 21 Latin American countries. Switch now on the T-Life app or tmobile.com/connectate.

• 54:39Speaker 07

  Qualifying plan required. Not for extended international use. You must reset in the U.S. and primary usage must occur in our network. Visit tmobile.com. Hola, es Mr. Monopoly. Has you had a dream of earning $50,000 for the first house or a gift charity of the year? Monopoly is back at McDonald's. And those are some of the prizes you could have won. Hope for your own. No need to compare 50 states to the United States and DC. 18 years or more. Consult the regulations in playermcd.com and playermcd.com/ moe for information about playing without a purchase or email before the 2nd of November. The Chance Card Game ends the 8th of November. The game ends the 22th of November of 2026. Details of the prizes in the regulations. Monopoly is a registered house. If you've been putting off car shopping because it sounds like a whole thing, I get it.

• 55:21Speaker 07

  Life moves quickly and I really like when things are clear and easy. So here's a little tip. Buying your car online on AutoTrader makes the whole process way easier. Really. Start online, then head to the dealer for a test drive and finish wherever works best for you. Your information stays with you and you're working with local dealers. So real people are there to help. So flexible, so convenient, so recommended. Buy your car online on AutoTrader. Really.

• 55:50Speaker 01

  Coca-Cola. For the big, for the small, the short and the tall. Peacemakers, risk takers. For the optimists, pessimists. For long distance love. For introverts and extroverts. The thinkers and the doers. For old friends and new. Coca-Cola for everyone. Take out some Coca-Cola at a store near you.