Couples Therapy, Parenting Hurdles, and ChatGPT Advice with The Peete’s

Holly Robinson Peete and Rodney Peete join Tobie and Tony this week to talk about how they’ve kept their marriage strong through all of life’s obstacles; and how therapy has played a major role along the way. They share why they started therapy before they were even married, how it helped them navigate their son’s autism diagnosis, and the tools it gave them to move through different phases of parenting, marriage, and their careers. Plus, they dive into the world of ChatGPT and debate whether AI could be the future of therapy and relationship advice. See omnystudio.com/listener https://omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

• 0:00Speaker 00

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• 4:08Speaker 03

  And I remember you said that the guys would tease you and go, yeah, because on the show, I mean, sitcom kissing. But I would have boyfriends and stuff, right? And they'd be like, yo, P, I don't understand how you, you wife kissed on that cat. Oh, God. Yo, P, I don't get that, man. And Rodney would be like, well, how much, how much did your wife bring home last week? Yo! He'd be like, my wife bringing home a paycheck. Them kisses, she making money.

• 4:36Speaker 00

  Hey, everybody. Welcome back to No Safe Words with October and Tony Gonzalez. Today, I'm just excited to be here. I'm excited for our guests. Yeah. All of it. Got some good ones. But before we jump into it, I saw this thing on TikTok that literally has me, like, in a fit of rage. Okay. Well, because I'm a stepmom, as you know, obviously. And there is this sweet girl, this mother, single mother, who comes on TikTok, and she is going off about the fact that she sent her little girl, I forget how old she is, but she's real young. She sent her little girl over to her dad's house. And at her dad's house, his girlfriend decided to take it upon herself to dye the complete underside of her daughter's hair purple.

• 5:21Speaker 00

  Uh huh. Without asking? No ask, no nothing. And she is like, what do I do? What, what, what can I do? Like, this is insane. Like, she's like, am I overreacting? And the comments are like, in no world, in no world. Like, I could never imagine, like, I, again, I was a stepmom. I could never imagine taking that upon myself to do that Yeah. to another person's child. Yeah. How old was the child again? Like, six or something. Young. And that, I'm sure the child asked for it, and they said, oh, it's no big deal, and he's just... Oh, honey, that... That sounds... This little girl apparently had gorgeous, like, beautiful, natural red hair. And the mother is just like, I don't even know how to fix it because, like, it would damage her hair to, like, get it back to the...

• 6:06Speaker 00

  It's not funny. It is, it is, it is, like, literally grounds for, like, beat your ass. Beat your ass? Oh, we taking it there? Okay. You know what I mean? No, not really. But like, you know what I mean? Like, that is so stepping over the line. Could you imagine if, like, I did that? And like, Nico's a boy, but could you imagine if I did that, what Lauren would have done? She'd have been like, okay, little girl, absolutely not. I'm wondering that, too. Was it a young girlfriend? I'm sure, yeah, they're all young. They all look young. But it just shows, like, severe immaturity. And, yes, severe immaturity. But you know, I always say you just never know how people grow up. And like, and maybe in her environment, which you grew up, and her family, like, this is no big deal. It's just hair. You just dye it. Right.

• 6:49Speaker 00

  You know, I always see people that send their kids to school with mohawks and colored hair and go someplace. I'm like, who the hell is doing that to your hair? But Tony, this is... And maybe these people thought it wasn't a big... You shouldn't have done that, though. Shouldn't have done that. No. Shouldn't have done that. Like, who, what? What is that? That's insane. That is some balls, and that is, I think, absolutely wrong. And so overstepping. I think as a stepparent, like, you have, there are, there are some unspoken rules, okay? And I followed them. I think I did a pretty good job, just naturally. And I was very young when I came into Nico's life. I was probably like 25, 24, 24. That's very young. So, again, I was like, not, definitely not perfect. I definitely didn't know what the hell I was doing.

• 7:33Speaker 00

  But I, I did know and have the sense to... Common sense. Yes, common sense not to overstep the line like that. Like, you have to have a certain respect for the birth parent, for the biological mother or father. And you have to respect them. It's never gonna work, and it's never going to turn out okay if you do not respect the other parent. So one thing, if I was the wife, I would have been like, okay, go to the husband. Right? What happened? Why'd you let her do this? You mean the ex? Yeah, they go to the ex. It was over his girlfriend. Yeah. Yeah. So he, did he, he knew? He knew. Right. So you can't blame her. He was like, yeah, go ahead. Yeah, I guess you gotta deal with it directly with the ex because you can't... And he signed off on it. He's probably like, okay.

• 8:16Speaker 00

  I know. But you guys, as a stepparent, you have to have... You gotta be a little smarter than that. You've got to be smarter than that. There are boundaries. You need to respect the parent, the biological parent, and you need to ask permission. Always over-ask, over, you know, make sure it's okay, like, just out of respect. You would have, if I said, go ahead and, and cut Nico's hair into a mohawk. Right. Or do something funky. Uh, and you would have said, well, we gotta call and ask Lauren. Yes. I'd be like, you better call his mother right now. It was okay. Right. No, but I, but I would bring up, like, you can't do that without, like, you have to get the okay. Yeah, I agree. Goes without saying, okay? Are you kidding me? Being a stepparent is hard, but this is kind of like 101, all right?

• 9:01Speaker 00

  This is beginner's course. You know that that's wrong. She knew that that was wrong. To me, this is like a genuine, like, F you. Like, I don't, to me, this step, this, this, this girlfriend or whatever it is, the stepparent, was like, I don't care what you say. As a matter of fact...

• 9:16Speaker 04

  I'm trying to piss you off, so. And in that case. Claws are out.

• 9:25Speaker 03

  You're either a complete moron, or you were just saying, screw you, I'll do what I want.

• 9:30Speaker 04

  I know, it's just immaturity, immaturity. Anyway, I hope this little girl gets her hair fixed, cuz.

• 9:35Speaker 03

  Hair's gonna be fine, though.

• 9:40Speaker 04

  Or don't say relax.

• 9:41Speaker 03

  Calm down, calm down.

• 9:42Speaker 04

  We'll talk about that later. Don't ever tell a woman to relax. We know what happens when you tell.

• 9:46Speaker 03

  I'm not, look, I'm saying that, I'm not, relax, nothing wrong with it. It's a good, it's a good saying.

• 9:51Speaker 04

  Oh, my gosh. Well, I'm really excited for these next guests because they have been married for thirty years, you guys who are listening. Holly and Rodney Pete, he's a retired NFL player, she is an actress philanthropist. She is a diva, Holly, Pete, and they are gonna come on and give us some words of wisdom, been married thirty years, been in, you know, in the weeds, out the weeds, four kids. Been through it all, so you guys, stay tuned, cuz this is gonna be a great episode.

• 10:23Speaker 00

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• 14:46Speaker 04

  All right, well, welcome to No Safe Words, Rodney and Holly. So happy to have you here.

• 14:53Speaker 04

  I feel like I'm, I'm, I have so many, like a million questions for you, because I feel like you just, you've done everything like right ahead of us, and I feel like everything that we're just about to do, you've done. Including like, you retired from the NFL, you know, you've raised four kids, and they're like finishing college, we're finishing high school. You've married thirty years, you've been married twenty years. It's like, I mean, we're right there, we're just following in your, in your trail.

• 15:19Speaker 03

  Twenty years.

• 15:20Speaker 04

  Twenty years.

• 15:21Speaker 03

  Does it feel like twenty?

• 15:22Speaker 04

  Sometimes.

• 15:23Speaker 03

  Sometimes, yeah.

• 15:27Speaker 04

  Sometimes, you know.

• 15:30Speaker 00

  You're only a short decade behind us.

• 15:33Speaker 04

  I know.

• 15:34Speaker 00

  Just, it's, and you know how fast a ten years goes?

• 15:37Speaker 04

  I do.

• 15:38Speaker 00

  It just pops by.

• 15:39Speaker 04

  Right.

• 15:40Speaker 00

  Um, when I think about thirty-one years, I just, um, mind-blown that we. Not that we're still together.

• 15:53Speaker 00

  So when we, we realize, like, if you do the math, we've been together more than half of our lifetime together.

• 15:59Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah.

• 16:00Speaker 00

  We're in our sixties now, and we've been together, so half a sixty is thirty. Is that right?

• 16:08Speaker 03

  Have math at Sarah Lawrence?

• 16:10Speaker 00

  No, they do.

• 16:10Speaker 04

  Honestly, for the people listening right now, I'm staring at your faces, I cannot believe, that you guys look so good. You're doing something right. It tells me that you're, that you're happy and that you're, you know, you really are good for each other. Whatever's, whatever you're doing is working.

• 16:25Speaker 00

  Thank you, Tony. We're gonna take that.

• 16:27Speaker 04

  For the.

• 16:28Speaker 00

  We're gonna, we're gonna take that. It's, we're well-worn. We done seen some shit.

• 16:35Speaker 04

  I wanna talk about that. I wanna, I wanna talk about that. You know, thirty years, and you guys have, like I said, raised four children, been through, you know, you have a charity, your children, you've been through things with your children, through NFL retirement. You know, start, start off by like maybe talking a little bit about the transition that you had to make Rodney in your marriage and when you retired from football. What was that like for your family? And for you?

• 17:03Speaker 03

  Yeah, no, it, first off, you, when you're playing, you don't think it's gonna end. You think, hey, I'm kinda in the middle of it, you think I can do this for a while, so you, as much as you wanna prepare for that time.

• 17:16Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 17:17Speaker 03

  And as much as you talk to other players that have retired, and they tell you, oh, do this, or it's gonna be like this, you don't really know until you actually retire.

• 17:25Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 17:27Speaker 03

  But I can remember that it was a transition for her.

• 17:34Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah.

• 17:34Speaker 03

  Probably more than me, because, as Tony know, you know, you have that body clock when it comes to training camp time, or that summer gets there, you're like, maybe a little bit shorter in your answers, or you're like, don't wanna be bothered so much, cuz you're getting ready to go to training camp. And she would have that clock as well, and she would almost kick me out of the house when I was playing. It's like, isn't it time for you to go to training camp? Don't you gotta go? So when I retired, and I wasn't going, she's like, ain't about that time, you need to go somewhere.

• 18:07Speaker 03

  You gotta get away from us, you know?

• 18:09Speaker 00

  Yeah, that's a weird thing, because when July would roll around, like, I was so used to him not being there. And so when the kids would be like, oh, dad said we could stay up till, I'm like, who?

• 18:20Speaker 00

  Oh, that's right, he's here. Like, oh, I gotta co-parent, cuz when he's gone. And it was just me.

• 18:26Speaker 04

  That's right.

• 18:26Speaker 00

  And so that that was that was that took a little adjusting. Did you feel that when he was when he came back that the more help though like you wouldn't. You wouldn't look forward to something like that where you're. The physical help, you know, like you go, you know, drive him to school and stuff like that. Yes. But he kind of flirted with retiring from football to the golf course and I had to put a stop to that.

• 18:51Speaker 04

  That golf course will.

• 18:52Speaker 00

  Yeah, I'm not going from being a football widow to being a golf widow.

• 18:57Speaker 00

  So the soonest he got home, like it was like, you know, five AM, six AM, you up getting these kids ready and he's like, I'm going to play golf.

• 19:09Speaker 00

  That was the first sort of. Adjustment to retirement that we had to like talk through.

• 19:15Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah.

• 19:16Speaker 00

  Like I I know, like a lot of these guys, you know, they and they got, you know, people be calling up early in the morning. Marcus now, hey, see you at six, what? No, so so that was adjustment, but but yeah, I mean. As many times as like Roddy said, he talked to players all the time about. You know what it must be like. I would talk to players' wives, you know, my my wives and and and talk to them about. What's it like when he's home now? And and they were like, oh, this is this is an adjustment. It's a big adjustment. And so we we we weathered that storm because that was a storm, one of our storms.

• 19:52Speaker 04

  Absolutely.

• 19:53Speaker 00

  Figuring that out.

• 19:54Speaker 04

  Well, we've been there.

• 19:56Speaker 00

  I don't think it was a storm. Do you think we had a storm?

• 19:58Speaker 04

  I don't think so. Our storm, I feel like was a little bit different. Our storm didn't look like as much of. You know, he didn't really bother me as much him coming into back home and us being together as much and us trying to work our routine. Our storm came when you got sort of like, I mean, look, the transition is hard. I think he went from being. So passionate about what he was doing, so career driven, you know, grinding it out each and every day since you you guys are kids, as you know. To then, what do I do now? Is was the thing and he's not a golf player. So I mean, I was happy about that, but I'm also like.

• 20:34Speaker 00

  That's a bullet you dodged.

• 20:35Speaker 04

  Yes, I know that. I know. Um, but yeah, so I just feel like it was more like you struggling with your inner sort of like. Turmoil was what was where I feel like our storm hit, you know, it was more of like a what is my purpose now? And I felt like I watched you go through that and that wasn't a storm necessarily we had together, but you do weather the same storms when your spouse or somebody is. Going through some like inner turmoil.

• 20:59Speaker 00

  And it's not something we can really relate to. I certainly couldn't. Cause I was still acting and still doing stuff and like still doing my foundation stuff and. And so I really had to tap into what that must be like to say, okay, now you physically can't do what you've been doing. For all this time, since you were, you know, popcorn or whatever. So that that was something I had to really adjust to and that took some therapy. Did you guys have, did you guys go to a therapist? Oh, yeah. Oh, really? Is that something you did before? We did. Your whole marriage, you guys have seen therapist? When when we we were dating about two years and it was kind of going in that direction that we were gonna get married, so.

• 21:42Speaker 00

  She suggested that we, before we get married, we go sit down with a therapist and. As reluctant as I was at the beginning, um, it probably, I won't say probably, it it was the best thing we could have done together because. You get it all out. You understand what you're getting into and. You talk through, okay, this is what my expectations are in this marriage. This is what your expectations are. And so you don't go into it going. You know, I wanted five kids and you only wanted one and, you know. Other stuff going on, you know, and so we got up, we got it all out and and we've been going on the regular.

• 22:24Speaker 00

  But Rodney is downplaying the fact that he was a willing candidate. I said reluctant.

• 22:33Speaker 00

  But you, no, I'm saying you were, the fact that you were willing to do it was a big deal because. I won't mention any names, but some of the other brothers that I had dated before you, they thought of like therapy as like a lobotomy. Yeah, they like, oh, no, we don't talk about stuff. We don't, you know, and even his parents, rest their souls, most amazing in laws. Um, but they were like, what are you taking our boy to do? Like, what?

• 22:59Speaker 00

  Back then, right? Nobody was doing that. No, and and and and I had to, you know, frame it as it's just a. A a uh, an objective third party. That's all it is.

• 23:13Speaker 00

  And then, but then also I had, I got a therapist who went to USC.

• 23:19Speaker 00

  He was so excited.

• 23:24Speaker 00

  That was the icebreaker. He was like.

• 23:29Speaker 00

  So how often would you go to therapy? And you guys said you still do this to this day.

• 23:35Speaker 00

  Is this once a month? As needed. As needed, yeah. So you have your same therapist that you'll call anytime that you need. She just retired, Tony, and when I tell you I cried. Because she she was like the guest of honor at our wedding. So for thirty something years, we've been, it's the same person. So she's like. She'll suggest people, but like it's not the same.

• 23:58Speaker 00

  She's like, I'm gonna come out of retirement for this little issue. And then I'll go back. Yeah, so we but we've been doing it for a long time. It's it's been very, it's been great for us. So with therapy, I'm fascinated by this. Because I didn't, you guys have been doing it for for that long. So if if there is a a big fight, is that something you say, let's wait till we get to the therapist or do you guys fight? Right away and then take the results of that fight to the therapist? It it depends. It depends. I mean, um. Cause you don't wanna run to the therapist every time you get in a fight or disagreement.

• 24:33Speaker 00

  But also you hope to have gotten tools, right, to help you through situations now. Just because you got the tools, then.

• 24:46Speaker 00

  So the, yeah, there are certain times that, hey, we didn't resolve this, so we gotta, we gotta get a third party. An objective third party to listen to what we're dealing with and what we're going, because my point of view, I don't feel like you're hearing me and vice versa. And so we get to that point, but it's not. It's not to the point where we're, you know, we're running every week because we had a disagreement about that. The good part is that. We found ways to work things through and work things out. She knows me so well and I know her so well that, um. You know, you can't, you can't BS each other anymore. There's probably no way that I was fighting anymore, right? You guys.

• 25:23Speaker 00

  Like major fights, really, like a big fight. As much as you wanna tell, but I mean, like a major fight.

• 25:31Speaker 00

  Lately, we haven't had as many major fights. But we have had some. Yeah, without the knocking down, the dragging out. We have had some from some real differences of, and I think. You know, I'm always right, by the way.

• 25:52Speaker 00

  Put it out there. I'm always, I'm always right. But I think, um. Where I continue to give Rodney credit is just the fact that he, when he goes to that place of acknowledging that he needs to work on something. He really goes there. Like he doesn't, he doesn't just like pretend. And and it's so, it's just, it so makes it so much easier for me to be able to talk to him. Cause he'll actually see, okay, I see what you're, I see what you're talking about. And it, sometimes it takes a little bit longer to get him there, but when he gets there, it's just, it's really good. Because it's very helpful. We can move forward. You know, and and be able to talk to each other properly.

• 26:33Speaker 04

  Was raising kids one of those places of friction that, I mean, cause I I would say like. Raising kids is probably like what has caused our biggest moments of friction. Our biggest fights have been in those moments because. You know, one of one of us is doing it one way, the other one sort of sees it, like it should be a little bit different. Um, we're just different people, so I don't know two people that parent the exact same way anyway, but for us. It was definitely an area of contention.

• 27:00Speaker 00

  That that and you driving in the car with me.

• 27:02Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah, and in the car. I don't know what it is about the car, but I want.

• 27:05Speaker 00

  You driving or he's driving? If I'm driving, her riding is a nightmare.

• 27:12Speaker 00

  Tony, don't, don't, don't. Why? When you're driving. Oh, my God.

• 27:18Speaker 00

  The worst. I'm bad. When she acknowledges that, you know it's bad. I'm bad. And as I've gotten older, I have more. I have more anxiety. I'm I'm the, you know, he doesn't, he takes too long to break.

• 27:32Speaker 04

  He breaks too much. I'm like.

• 27:33Speaker 00

  Okay, well, he doesn't break enough. And I'm like, okay, if he's breaking in front of you, you gotta break when that, you know, you gotta break when they break. We were driving to Dodger game the other day, so we still fuss about this stuff. We were driving to Dodger game. And Rodney just, I I feel like now he's getting better because he knows he's getting in the car with me. So I'm, you know. She drives most of the time. I'm Wilma Flintstone in the car and he's like, oh, shit, I got Wilma in the car with me again. So, cause I'm gonna be like, honey, just. Break, be careful, what what me. So I I'm bad and I I really do need to work on that.

• 28:08Speaker 04

  I do too.

• 28:09Speaker 00

  But we do fuss at each other in the car. But at least she drives. She won't, she can't drive on the freeway.

• 28:15Speaker 04

  I'm like a nine year old woman. Something happened. I think it was like my childhood trauma that just showed up as in I can't drive on the freeway.

• 28:22Speaker 00

  But wants to complain when you get in the car. It's like, you drive then. I have literally pulled over in the middle of the street like drive you I'm not driving. Because if you're gonna I don't wanna hear.

• 28:31Speaker 04

  My leg is up and I'm like.

• 28:34Speaker 04

  The whole time and he's like, what are you doing? And I'm like, I'm sorry.

• 28:37Speaker 00

  So you won't get on the freeway period or just with them?

• 28:40Speaker 04

  I will here and there, but no with any any time like I won't drive physically drive.

• 28:45Speaker 00

  So you do the MapQuest thing where you like show me the way without the freeway?

• 28:49Speaker 04

  Most of the time, avoid highways.

• 28:51Speaker 00

  I love that you said MapQuest too.

• 28:53Speaker 04

  It's old school.

• 28:54Speaker 00

  That is old school. I know.

• 28:57Speaker 04

  And I did do, yes, I have done it all. The Google, the MapQuest, the.

• 29:01Speaker 00

  Apple Drive, whatever it is.

• 29:03Speaker 04

  Yeah, all of it. I want a self-driving car, to be honest.

• 29:05Speaker 00

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• 30:36Speaker 04

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• 31:07Speaker 01

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• 32:20Speaker 04

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• 33:28Speaker 04

  So yes, parenting is our biggest area of contention. This, these are where we fight the most, just.

• 33:33Speaker 00

  It's, it's, you, you said it, you know, no two people are alike, right? Even though we get along and we, when we were dating, you know, we had all these things that we had in common. It was so much fun to discover that. But when you have kids, and we started with twins, and he was playing, he was gone, I was working. So it was very, very tough. Like, you know, I would take these planes to Philadelphia, and I had these babies, double football hole, right? I'm on a plane and I get there and it's like, ah, I was so worn out. And, um, and, you know, we just have different, you know, we had a boy and a girl and then.

• 34:13Speaker 00

  So just different ways of, and I was the alpha mom, so he was still playing. So he would always defer to me, right? When I had these twins, and by the way, had the twins when he was playing and he was in Philly, like, in an overtime game, and I'm in L.A. And then he had, he literally like ran for the first down that sealed the win, and then literally ran off the field and got into a car to go to the airport to come to L.A. And got there just in time for me to cut these two umbilical cords. Oh, wow. Like it was, and yeah, on the Philadelphia Daily News, it was like Rodney was running, a picture that said OTGYN.

• 34:52Speaker 00

  And it was like a very cool thing. So we, like, it was, so, but I was working and it was just, it was stressful. Like, I can't believe these kids are twenty-eight. Like, how did we get them this far? Because we definitely had different views of parenting. And when I was playing, she would have, like, she had her own routine and everything, right? And then I would, I would get home and it was dad time. I would do my own thing and it would just frustrate the, you know, what out of her.

• 35:18Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah.

• 35:18Speaker 00

  Say, oh, no, they don't stay up that, that late. Oh, no, they eat this. No, they don't eat that. But that was his bonding time with them, right? Yeah. I think by the fourth baby, it just was like.

• 35:29Speaker 04

  You didn't care. You didn't care.

• 35:32Speaker 00

  Youngest kid. The spoiled one. The spoilt, he's spoiled, but he's also, he's the one that falls and cracks his head. I'm like, he'll be all right. Yeah, fine, get up. Yeah, there you go. What about disciplining the kids? Who is, who is the disciplinarian and tough love and? Get up when you, when you, when you fall down? Well, that, that was me. I, I would say from a, you know how we are, we, we like structure. We like, we like routines and things like that.

• 36:03Speaker 00

  But I think we, we had a combination of, of both, but I, I think I was more of the.

• 36:06Speaker 00

  I think you're probably the more, more regimented, um, dad. As you got ol- older, as an older dad, you were, you, you were more of an. I was a tough love dad. You were more of a, you were more of a, like, well, his dad was a, a coach, football coach. So, like, I think you were kind of the coach dad. And he coached him through Little League and stuff. So he was a little hands-on the hips, you know, the Tom Coughlin arms, a little like. He was a little, um, rigid in his parenting, but in a loving way, of course.

• 36:39Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 36:39Speaker 00

  And I think I was a little more laissez-faire, a little, little more hands-off. It'll be all right. It'll, no, no, they, they can't go. They can't go to the party because they, they didn't do their homework. They didn't do this. No, just let them go. It'll be all right. I think, I think I definitely, what about you guys? Who's the more strict? Me.

• 36:58Speaker 04

  You are for sure.

• 36:59Speaker 00

  By far, yeah, by far.

• 37:00Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 37:01Speaker 00

  Because of the way you grew up was.

• 37:04Speaker 04

  I was, I was sort of thrown to the wolves growing up and I sort of raised myself. And I'm like, well, I ended up fine. I was very responsible. I made sure that I like took care of myself, stayed out of trouble, all of that. So I think it's how you grow up. It's really how you parent, right? Like he said with his father, the way he was, probably your parents parented you.

• 37:21Speaker 00

  My dad wasn't there. So he wasn't around a lot. And Rodney's dad was such an amazing dad, such a hands-on coach dad. And, you know, he's just, when he got this big job with the, with the Chiefs and with the NFL, like, it was a big deal. And Rodney had a choice of being in, staying in Arizona for a senior year in high school when he was being recruited by all these colleges, or go with his dad for that one year with his dad. And it's like, of course he went with his dad because, you know, he's, they had such a great relationship. So I think that's where he gets his from. But my dad wasn't around. My mom was like gangsta mom, like raised us like. She did her own thing.

• 38:01Speaker 00

  And so I was kind of, I know your backstory, but it wasn't same, but in some ways it was, you know, with being a latchkey kid and kind of doing my own thing.

• 38:10Speaker 04

  You had to raise yourself.

• 38:11Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah.

• 38:12Speaker 04

  And you made it and you did great.

• 38:14Speaker 00

  He had more structure as a parent, I think. Yeah. And now that we're empty nesters, it's, now he's just, he's just itching to dad. You know what we call him now? We call him Sweatshirt Dad. Sweatshirt, what does that mean? That just means wherever you're going, did you get, you got a sweatshirt? Because it's gonna get cold. It's gonna get cold.

• 38:32Speaker 04

  That's so cute. I love that.

• 38:35Speaker 00

  And mind you, the youngest is twenty-one, right?

• 38:38Speaker 04

  Oh, my gosh, how cute. I love that.

• 38:39Speaker 00

  Got a sweatshirt and we all hug each other. Oh, there's Sweatshirt Dad.

• 38:43Speaker 04

  That's so sweet.

• 38:44Speaker 00

  You know why? Because they, especially this one, I have my sweatshirt. If we're going to Dodger game or we're going out, we're gonna be out. I got my sweatshirt, I got my coat. And she's always.

• 38:57Speaker 00

  This is what he always says to me, you know, you're not taking my sweatshirt, go get one.

• 39:02Speaker 00

  What uh.

• 39:05Speaker 00

  I guess disciplinary action towards your children, do you look back and go, you know what, we got that one right? Like that's something that I would recommend a lot of parents out there. Wow, is there any one thing that you guys did? I think respect, respect. And how did you enforce the respect? I think like, like Holly said, it would, that's how I grew up is that.

• 39:28Speaker 00

  You respected, I don't wanna say like be corny and say you respect your elders, but you, you certainly have a level of respect. Now, they gotta earn it. You know, I don't care how old you are, you gotta earn the respect. But the treating people the right way. How, and, and not just the phrase of how you wanna be treated, but if they were disrespectful. That was like, for me, that.

• 39:57Speaker 00

  We usually did, just did like, you know, these, these are kids that were raised at screen time, so you would take the screen time from them. Um, maybe you're staying home, you're not going with your friends tonight, you know, um. And our kids thankfully were very, um, pretty accepting of our disciplinary action. They didn't. Uh, they, they seemed to get it, um, pretty quickly. And then, so they were like, okay, we understand the consequences of, of this. I, I should say, almost all of them. We had that one middle boy. That no matter what we did, no matter what discipline we did, and by the way, you know, listen, I don't. I never got spanked growing up, no one ever spanked me.

• 40:41Speaker 00

  And matter of fact, my mom used to tell, my mom used to tell all the relatives and aunties, like in black families, you know, everybody could spank if they wanted. She would say, none of y'all touch my child. So I, I knew that, right? I was like, my mom said, you can't spank me, so they all wanted to get me. Um, the middle boy, I mean, I would get that booty. And he would just laugh at me. Like it was just, it didn't, didn't work. Like if I did that to my youngest, he would just be crumbled, you know? Um, so each child has a different energy, um, and that middle boy, he just couldn't break him. We all get one, we all get one.

• 41:20Speaker 00

  Yeah, he couldn't break him. And then it wasn't until he, you know, really, really until he went off and moved to Japan. Then where he became like. His name is Robinson, and we would call him Robbie growing up, right? And so when he was bad like that, he'd be what? We had nicknames.

• 41:40Speaker 00

  Bobby Diablo, we had names for him, cause he was our athlete, right? Our baseball player. And like, remember he would like, he would miss out on like family vacations, cause he had to go play the Japanese Lily. And he'd be mad, boy, just, oh, just, oh, he was so bad. Oh, he was a bad little boy. Normal stuff like grounding, uh, did you guys use incentives like, uh, um, allowance?

• 42:08Speaker 00

  I don't know if there's, I'm always looking for little secrets on.

• 42:13Speaker 00

  Tony's like, tell me your ways, oh, masterful one. Rodney, did we bribe him? What did we do? We didn't bribe him with, um, with cash, no, no, but I, I think it was, it was more. They wanted our approval. They did. Believe it or not, they wanted to go with us though. Yeah. Trips or anything like that, short trips.

• 42:38Speaker 00

  And you left somebody one time. You guys left people? Oh, oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. These little people get. Oh, yeah. They got left. Oh, yeah. So that was, that was hard. Cause I don't know if I could do that. That was hard. I'm so glad, because that is something if we did, you, there's no way. You would cave? Oh. A trip? Yeah. Well, cause it's selfish, I want them there. And so it would be like, sad for me to not have them there, but again. Bad Bobby joined us late one time. By the way, that would be good to like. Bad Bobby joined us. He was going at all. We know, we said, we're not, we know, he's not going. That's really. And then like the second day, okay, and then we let him come. But he, but, but that, the first two days, boy, he was home. Did you call him Bad Bobby to his face? To his face.

• 43:20Speaker 00

  He didn't care. We, and when I tell you, Tony, the way we laugh about this now, he's, you know, twenty-four, lives in Japan, and he's like. We, and, and we would even send him pictures of just, cause I have pictures of their like lowest moments. That is one thing I did do. She's like, this is your lowest moment, let's document this right now.

• 43:44Speaker 00

  We could show, we could show you like twenty pictures and you could pick out ten. Oh, he was bad that day, wasn't he?

• 43:51Speaker 00

  In the family pictures, he's that one that's just giving that little, just that little, little rascal's look, you know, that little bad look. Um, but there was, I just forgot about the, the, the discipline couch, remember we had? That in the, in the, um, for the twins, we had like a little, what do we call it? The something chair. Yeah. I even, I have a picture of it. That's a good idea too. It's, it's a something chair, I can't remember. It was, yeah.

• 44:18Speaker 00

  It was like a corner chair, but it was in the room, and it was a cute room, and they were, they were, uh, twins, you know, and they were like three. And it was a chair where you had to think about yourself, right? She sat, and I have a picture of our daughter sitting in this chair, sobbing her eyes out. And it is the, it's her favorite photo. She loves it. She's like, look at me, oh my gosh. I was like, I know. Just thinking about your life. Yeah. You know, really contemplating what you did. Wow. I have a question. You guys are at the peak of your careers. Both simultaneously, I feel like at the same time, you're both just here in life. You have kids.

• 44:58Speaker 00

  And that adjustment happens, it's like chaos, you're giving birth, he's running, did cut the umbilical cord. How do you make two careers? Like yours? How does a marriage work when two people are like just going for what their dreams are and going for their goals? And is that, is that so hard? I think for us, yeah, I, I think for us, we, it goes back to therapy too, right? We knew what we wanted to get into. And I think for me, I always, I was kinda looking for someone that had their own thing and their own identity and their own life. And, um, and so I think we complemented each other more than anything else.

• 45:38Speaker 00

  Because I respected what she did and I knew the work that she put into it. And vice versa, she could understand. The work that I had to put in to do what I did. So it was never, you know, why do you gotta go here? Why do you gotta go back to mini camp, training camp? Why do you gotta do this? Why you do that? It was a mutual respect. So that kinda allowed us. To grow together in, in that realm, because we both, I think, respected each other's profession. I think it's important to point out that unlike a lot of other NFL wives, I did not go back with him. I, I stayed in LA. So I would visit, I was doing shows and I would get hiatuses, I would come, or come with the twins.

• 46:18Speaker 00

  Or I'd come with the second baby and the third baby was just getting ready to retire, um, in Carolina. But he was okay with me being back here in LA. That's hard. And all the other players were like, how do you do that?

• 46:39Speaker 00

  I don't even think I've ever heard anybody, you guys.

• 46:43Speaker 00

  I'm telling you, of, of all the sixteen years, well, I was only with you for eleven of those, but sixteen years in the NFL. Um, or during our marriage in the NFL, I don't think I've ever met another couple that did that. And Rodney was very independent, where he was okay with me shooting. You know, hang with Mr. Cooper or whatever show I was doing at the time, it was a cute show. And so we were, we, he, he liked that. And I remember you, you said like the guys would tease you and go, yeah, cause on the show, I mean, sitcom kissing, but I would have boyfriends and stuff, right? And they'd be like, yo, P, I don't understand how you, your wife is kissing on that cat.

• 47:25Speaker 00

  Rodney would be like, well, how much, how much did your wife bring home last week?

• 47:32Speaker 00

  He'd be like, my wife bringing home a paycheck, them kisses, she's making money. So he was be, so he was a different type of player. Cause most of the players and families or, or wives, husbands that we met and hung out with, those wives were Johnny on the spot. They all moved to the different city. Like I would move with him and set him up and set us up and everything, but then I'd jet back and go to work. I worked our entire, his entire football career, I was working. Wow. So it, it was, and we, so we consciously decided to do that. And I think that, um, it, we, we. We weathered that storm, cause by the way, now after, in hindsight, um, that could have destroyed us. A hundred percent.

• 48:17Speaker 00

  Cause he was on his, we can go there, he was on his own. Oh, yeah. Philadelphia, quarterback of the team. Oh. Cute, baby Denzel Washington. How do you even function like that? Like, I mean, and I had to like. She's from Philly too. I'm from Philly. And it was, that was a whole nother story, cause. The women are crazy. Women are crazy and the Philadelphia women are extra crazy. And I'm from there and like, listen. That I didn't say. We would, we would, my crazy relatives were such crazy Eagles fans. Oh, gosh, Eagles fans, yes.

• 48:55Speaker 00

  We would, I'd be in the stands with, you know, and Rodney, oh, you always. Through a pic. Pete, you suck. Pete, turn around. It's my Aunt Jane.

• 49:06Speaker 00

  I said, Aunt Jane, didn't we give you these tickets?

• 49:10Speaker 00

  Like, when I tell you, I'm like, Aunt Jane. I'm my cousins. They could not separate it. They just didn't.

• 49:16Speaker 03

  And begging for tickets.

• 49:17Speaker 00

  And begging for tickets. Talking trash, yes. So, so I would say that, that, but, but the cool thing is Toby, that we were on, like you said, at one point in our career, we were both like starting, he was playing. I was on a hit show. We had it going on. He came to, you know, he came to California. He proposed to me on the set of Hang with Mr. Cooper. I know, I read that. That's so cute. Cameras rolling. It was like amazing moment. We were just, I mean, we were at the top of our game together. Floating. And I think that that helped being there because later on, when it was more like this or like this, we were able to weather that storm.

• 49:58Speaker 00

  The therapist was very helpful during those times because that was, that's hard on your ego. Your wife's making more. Your wife's doing this or your, your husband is doing this. You're, you know, it's just, it's, it's hard, but we, we navigated it. That's why when I look up and go thirty one years, I'm like, wow, we, we did that.

• 50:15Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 50:16Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 50:16Speaker 00

  That's huge.

• 50:17Speaker 03

  Is, uh, is divorce an option to you guys?

• 50:20Speaker 00

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• 51:12Speaker 04

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• 51:50Speaker 04

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• 52:20Speaker 01

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• 53:31Speaker 04

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• 53:47Speaker 03

  You know that place you keep thinking about? El departamento con la lavadora y secadora, o la casa con patio? That's you Sunday. Everyone has one. Para mí, ese sueño no era solo llegar a la Grandes Ligas. It was every early morning, every workout, every swing. Fueron el sacrificio, la pasión y creer en mí. Little by little, my Sunday became today. Encontrar tu próximo hogar funciona de la misma manera. Whether you're buying, selling, or renting, Celo has everything you need in one place. Sus herramientas profesionales y aliados de confianza te acompañan en cada paso. So you can move forward with clarity and confidence.

• 54:26Speaker 03

  Hay algo que sé con certeza. You don't reach home standing still. Tienes que dar el primer paso. So don't just keep talking about Sunday. Ask que ese día sea hoy. We Celo, Sunday starts today. B C Celo dot com slash today.

• 54:42Speaker 00

  Or has it ever been? Has it been? Yeah.

• 54:44Speaker 03

  No, I mean, some people, some, okay, let me rephrase that then. Some people get married and they're like, that's never, like.

• 54:52Speaker 00

  Not on the table.

• 54:53Speaker 03

  Like, it's, it's never gonna, that we'll never get divorced. No matter what happens.

• 54:57Speaker 00

  I like the way you phrased it the first time. Is it an option? It was not an option for him. Because he had parents that stayed married until they both passed.

• 55:06Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 55:07Speaker 00

  Fifty plus, sixty years they were married.

• 55:09Speaker 03

  Right.

• 55:10Speaker 00

  My parents were divorced when I was really little. And I didn't want to ever have that experience. So we both were like, divorce is not an option. Because I experienced it and he experienced like the utopian version of that. Wouldn't you agree?

• 55:25Speaker 03

  No, yeah, absolutely. Um, and again, it keeps going back to, you know, your intention going in and, and talking about it going in. Like, we, we're gonna work this out. And having, having a therapist that you could go to when it got tough, I mean, when our son was diagnosed with autism, that was, that was as close as we got to divorce, probably.

• 55:50Speaker 00

  That's a big storm to weather.

• 55:52Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 55:52Speaker 05

  That's huge.

• 55:53Speaker 00

  Huge.

• 55:53Speaker 03

  Yeah, because I, I, I went into steep denial about it. And she was like, if I gotta choose one of you, I'm choosing him. And, um, so we had, we had some battles in, in that regard because I didn't, you know, I just didn't want to believe that I, what I was hearing about my son.

• 56:13Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 56:13Speaker 03

  You know, and I didn't want to do the work. And she was like rolling up her sleeves, okay, let me read this article. Let me read this book. Let me find out from this person. Let me find out what to do about, what is autism? How do I, and, and I just was, no, he'll be all right. You know, he'll be all right.

• 56:31Speaker 00

  It was your defense.

• 56:32Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 56:33Speaker 00

  I can coach you out of them. That's what you. That's right.

• 56:35Speaker 03

  That's good. That's it. That's what you need, right? From a spouse, I think. Sometimes you see the things that they can't see in themselves.

• 56:40Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 56:41Speaker 03

  And it's like, I'm gonna get it out of you.

• 56:42Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 56:43Speaker 03

  And we'll do whatever you gotta do, whatever it takes, right?

• 56:45Speaker 00

  Yeah, I think, I think we take turns, right? In marriage, you take turns sort of like carrying the load when you see that the other person might not be able to. And can't really see it yet. So you can't both go down at the same time is what we. Right. It's the, it's the old, uh, fifty fifty, ninety ten, like, what you got today? I got twenty, I got eighty. It's that whole thing. But with the autism, it was, that was especially hard. Because he was away. Remember, we were doing the sort of two homes. And I was, had my sleeves rolled up, going to town, work, you know, just doing everything for this kid to get to the football city.

• 57:25Speaker 00

  And then he'd be like, oh, you know, oh, he's, he's gonna be all right. And I'm like, well, where are all those books I sent you with the dog-eared pages and the yellow highlighter? Under the bed, not opened. I was like, well, you know what? I could do bad all by myself. Like, I don't need, and I was bluffing because I did need. Of course. We needed our quarterback, like the team, we needed Team RJ, we needed a quarterback, we needed, you know, we, all the corny football analogies, but they were so true, like, and, and. But fortunately for me, he came around in a way that, you know, was so helpful. And then became the best teammate ever. But it was, whoo, for a minute there.

• 58:10Speaker 00

  Touch and go moments. What was that moment that it just like clicked in for you? Where like, I have to switch completely the way I think and everything?

• 58:18Speaker 03

  It had slowly become more of a reality. And I think that, and I was actually, I was playing in, I was in Oakland at the time. And, uh, which, living in L.A., it's an easy back and forth trip.

• 58:33Speaker 00

  They were home more.

• 58:34Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 58:34Speaker 00

  You could see it.

• 58:35Speaker 03

  But I wasn't. I stopped coming home as, as often on those Sunday night after a game or Tuesday off days, you know.

• 58:43Speaker 00

  Was it too much?

• 58:45Speaker 03

  It was, it was hard to see.

• 58:46Speaker 00

  Emotional.

• 58:47Speaker 03

  You know, he, um, he had my name, you know, and you have a vision for your kid, right? I got it all mapped out for him. This is, this is his life. He's gonna do this. Now I'm gonna coach him in Little League and I'm, he's gonna, he's gonna have all these friends and he's gonna have the house that everybody comes over and hangs out and he's gonna have. And it was like a needle on the record, like scratched. And he's like, that's not gonna happen. Let me, let me, um, what am I gonna do? So I was being selfish about it. Like, this is affecting me, not thinking about, what is that? What about him? And what about her?

• 59:20Speaker 05

  He's got to deal with it. And there was a, there was a moment we had, cause like she said, she rolled up her sleeves and she jumped in. We had to get him therapy, speech, occupational therapy, physical therapy. He had to, you know, we got this developmental pediatrician that just told us he would never do about fifteen, twenty different things. And so you're sitting in that room where she's telling you, he'll never have friends. He'll, he'll never, he's really gonna make eye contact. He'll never, he'll never graduate from high school or college. He, you're gonna have to take him out of this school immediately. He's gonna need about forty hours of therapy a week.

• 1:00:00Speaker 00

  So hard.

• 1:00:00Speaker 05

  He's never gonna drive. He's never gonna have a job. He's never gonna have a girlfriend. And by the way, he probably won't ever say, I love you.

• 1:00:09Speaker 00

  That's a lot.

• 1:00:10Speaker 05

  So, see you later. And I was

• 1:00:13Speaker 00

  Unbelievable.

• 1:00:14Speaker 05

  So that obviously pissed me off, but, so we didn't listen to her. We got him into therapy. We got him going. I would should say she got him going. And there was a moment where I did come home. I came home. There was a big session with all of his therapists were all in one room and they were kinda like, okay, let's, let's, let's get RJ in here and we'll go through and see how you guys are handling them at home and what's going on. Are you using some of the techniques at home? Of course I wasn't. So one of the therapists said, okay Rodney, go and just I want you to spend five minutes talking to RJ and see how you can interact with him and see what you can get out of him. Cause at that point he was almost non-verbal at that point, right?

• 1:00:58Speaker 05

  And um, so I got down on the floor with him, tried to play a little game with him and tried to put together a puzzle. He had no attention for me, nothing. Wouldn't look me in the eye, wouldn't interact with me. And uh, then one of the therapists got down with him. And he opened up and started laughing and playing and having a good time and smiling and all of those things. And the whole time I'm in there going, they set me up. They set me up for this. They set me up. They made me, they're trying to make me look bad. That was my initial reaction. And then after

• 1:01:42Speaker 05

  a good day or two after that, um, I really had to look at myself in the mirror and go, you know what? I have not, I have not done the right thing by him as a father. And I gotta stop being selfish and start looking at the world through his eyes, not mine. And it took me being embarrassed in that session really to go, I don't have all the answers. Like I thought I did. Like I thought I could coach it out of him. And you can't coach unless you know the technique, right? And mad at myself because I should know that, right?

• 1:02:23Speaker 05

  You can't be a baseball coach and think you can go out and coach quarterbacks. You know, you gotta have techniques. You gotta have the understanding. And once that embarrassment happened, I kinda got over myself, then it was a transformation and I, I, I started appreciating him for who he was.

• 1:02:41Speaker 00

  And then we were off and running. We had our quarterback. We got our quarterback back.

• 1:02:47Speaker 05

  You get through something like that though, man, everything else after that seems to be, okay, is it really that big of a deal?

• 1:02:53Speaker 00

  It was a, it is our, it is our, um, it is the thing that brings us together the most. Especially now when we see RJ's success and what he's become and just watching this kid who had no friends most of his school life be best friends with Freddie Freeman and Mookie Betts and, you know, like, these guys have, have poured into him. And so when you see that, and I see that developmental pediatrician saying all those nevers to cut to him getting his third world series ring with his name on it. It's like, you can't even make this shit up. Like you can't make it up.

• 1:03:32Speaker 00

  And so that's our biggest bonding moment. Like every now, every now and then, we, he'll do something unintentionally funny. Cause he's twenty eight. He, his autism is still there, but he's, he manages to, to mask through his day. And as a clubhouse attendant for the Dodgers, it's, it's a big job. And you gotta be there two in the morning sometimes. You gotta, you got a lot of things that need to do. But sometimes he'll say things that just make us just crack up. Cause he, but he doesn't even know that he's, he's being funny and and little things like that. And those are major bonding moments for us. Because when we think back.

• 1:04:09Speaker 05

  Yeah, it always takes us back to those days where he wasn't speaking or wasn't

• 1:04:12Speaker 00

  Can you even imagine that he would even be doing this right now? Like what, what is this life that he's living? And so it's, it's pretty cool. Well, that is a tribute to how you guys both came together in that moment when he really needed you most and, you know, made it happen for him. Yeah, Rodney, good job. Good job, good effort.

• 1:04:33Speaker 05

  Thanks for hanging in there.

• 1:04:34Speaker 00

  You know, but we, we do receive that, but I'm always so quick to say, yeah, and you know, but RJ's the one that's there every day, like really making that happen. Oh, yeah. And, and, and, and then the Dodgers poured into him, you know, because it's one thing for a kid like RJ to get a job. It's nothing for him to keep a job. Oh, yeah. And he's had some moments where they could have been like, eh, maybe this isn't the right job for you. But they just keep pouring into him and pouring into him and that's But I also think that's also a tribute to, you know, all the philanthropy that you do to sort of raise awareness around this. I think when people understand more and they are able to grasp what other people are going through when it comes to autism or, you know, any neurological sort of

• 1:05:16Speaker 00

  situation that somebody might be dealing with, it gives you more empathy, more understanding, more of an idea of how this person could be useful in the workplace and how you can sort of, we can all come together to make their, their lives better and happier and more fulfilled, right? It's, it's literally like at the core of our mission at Holly Rod Foundation is to create more RJ's. Find more MLB teams and even basketball teams to pour into these kids because they, RJ has a particular set of skills. Where he understands each player. He knows something about all of them, not to mention, not just their birthdays. He knows everything about them. That's the way his brain works. Yeah.

• 1:05:56Speaker 00

  If you ask him to add three plus two divided by one, he would look at you like you're talking in a foreign language. But the way his brain works, he's able to do that. And to show that through our reality shows that we've had and through the foundation and through other, you know, shows that he's been featured on is, is really part of um, a way to share what you're talking about and to demystify and, you know, to, to make this you know, normalize it. And, and that's been a real blessing. And RJ, who is a reluctant you know, like he knows that his example really helps, you know, give hope to other kids with autism.

• 1:06:40Speaker 00

  But he hates the camera. He hates the camera in front of him. Oh my God, MLB on Fox came down to, you know, do this whole piece on him and he was just like, I was like, he's like, mom, you did this. I was like, no, they, the team did this and this MLB on Fox, this world series, it's a big deal. And he was like, I really don't like these cameras in front of me. But when he sees the impact, he's like, oh, okay, I get it. He gets it. He understands it. Well, I gotta get back to the therapy situation. We don't go to therapy. I wish that we, we, we should have done it the way you guys do it. Clearly there is something to be said for the way that you started off in therapy, still use therapy, and it has been a huge tool for you. My husband uses

• 1:07:23Speaker 00

  chat GPT as his therapist. Okay? Technology has taken over our home. You guys, he is talking to this, which by the way, his chat, he is named Jamal. Jamal is your chat? Yep. And he calls him by name. Calls his chat by name. Answer to Jamal?

• 1:07:41Speaker 05

  Yeah, I told him to. So he, he does whatever I say. He's, but then he challenges me other ways too. He's, uh, it's a good relationship.

• 1:07:51Speaker 00

  Okay, so but, so you, you understand, you said you were ten years, like, see, so you're in this AI world. Oh, yeah. So you have ten years of youth on us, right? Yes. This is hilarious to me because I use AI for different reasons. Yeah. But not this. But I might look into it.

• 1:08:09Speaker 05

  You've never tried it?

• 1:08:10Speaker 00

  Oh, I, I used AI all the time.

• 1:08:15Speaker 00

  But see, I feel like I would train my AI That's what I'm always telling him. Make me, make Rodney always wrong and no matter what.

• 1:08:22Speaker 05

  No, no.

• 1:08:23Speaker 00

  It's a great idea, Tony. Never, you know, you're so smart. You're so wonderful.

• 1:08:29Speaker 05

  Jamal doesn't talk to me that way. He talks, he talks to me in a way where I tell him, don't bullshit me. Don't tell me what I wanna hear. Don't sugarcoat. Act as the best therapist out there. What is the most rational way I could address what I'm going through with blank, whatever it is.

• 1:08:49Speaker 00

  I am not mad at this. I think this is awesome.

• 1:08:53Speaker 05

  I'm telling you, it is helmet with my kids.

• 1:08:55Speaker 00

  Try this.

• 1:08:56Speaker 05

  With my kids, with her, with, with anything, with anything, with, with football breaking down, like, okay.

• 1:09:02Speaker 00

  So you would try this? This is something that you would put on tape? Because I do believe, cause AI has been my friend and I have, you know, even with the nonprofit, with the things that, you know, just just quick stuff. It just helps me, you know, I'm getting older. My brain's moving faster. What'd you say?

• 1:09:17Speaker 05

  It wouldn't work, yeah.

• 1:09:18Speaker 00

  What do you mean?

• 1:09:19Speaker 05

  Well, it certainly wouldn't work for us.

• 1:09:21Speaker 00

  Right. Why?

• 1:09:22Speaker 05

  That way.

• 1:09:23Speaker 00

  Why?

• 1:09:23Speaker 05

  Because Jamal, what would you name yours? He's got Jamal. What would you?

• 1:09:28Speaker 00

  I don't know what her name would be.

• 1:09:31Speaker 05

  Do you have a female voice?

• 1:09:33Speaker 00

  Uh, mine is a female voice and she's a black lady's with the attitude. You can hear her neck moving as you're watching it.

• 1:09:39Speaker 05

  You had to tell her you wanted a black, like act like a black woman.

• 1:09:42Speaker 00

  I did. I just said, come from a black woman's perspective. And, and you know, by the way, I love that. It's so freaky cause the, the lady knows everything about me because of the internet. And we've been, you know, on the internet so much

• 1:09:55Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:09:55Speaker 00

  That they know every damn thing about you.

• 1:09:57Speaker 05

  But they can't read body language. They can't read eye contact and things like that. The little, I know.

• 1:10:02Speaker 00

  But when I try to say, hey.

• 1:10:04Speaker 05

  Nuances is the thing that I

• 1:10:05Speaker 00

  See, what, what does that mean when a, when a um, dog has like these like weird like bumps on his, on his chin? And, and this lady's talking about, oh, what's wrong with Atlas?

• 1:10:19Speaker 00

  I was like, but I forgot that I had That's creepy. Even told her what Atlas's name was. Is Atlas okay? It's, it gets a little weird, creepy, but I like this, Tony. I like the AI therapist. I think that there's nothing wrong with it. Has it been beneficial for you?

• 1:10:35Speaker 05

  It's been hugely beneficial, honestly. Like breaking stuff down for me, let me see. And I think the more honest you are with your.

• 1:10:43Speaker 04

  That's the question, how honest are you going to be about yourself? You know what I mean?

• 1:10:47Speaker 00

  Is he honest with you? Like, does Jamal like put you in your place sometimes? He tells he's trained Jamal to be honest.

• 1:10:53Speaker 05

  And that's what I tell him. Do not bullshit me. Do not tell me what I want to hear. Give me like, what if, if I'm being irrational, let me know. And of course, I don't ever say like, you are absolutely irrational. It'll be like, look, you might want to look at it this way. It's so nice.

• 1:11:04Speaker 00

  You're a little bit.

• 1:11:05Speaker 05

  They know how to talk to you. They know how to talk to you.

• 1:11:07Speaker 00

  Well, can I say this? Like, now that Sharon is our therapist, now that Sharon's really retired, we pulled her out of retirement about four, five times. But now that she's really done, done, and we've been looking, nobody really like steps up or meets Sharon, just no one's Sharon.

• 1:11:22Speaker 05

  No.

• 1:11:23Speaker 00

  Um, and then like, you know, do you want to start after thirty years talking to somebody, a whole, whole new person?

• 1:11:28Speaker 04

  Catch them up.

• 1:11:28Speaker 00

  This might be something we should explore, honey.

• 1:11:31Speaker 05

  I don't know if we could, if you could do it together. I don't know. We've never done, we've never done it together.

• 1:11:36Speaker 00

  You should try it.

• 1:11:37Speaker 04

  I'd love to hear what Jamal has to say about me. I'm sure he has a whole opinion about who I am, and I'm sure it's not correct. No, I'm just kidding. But you know, I, I, I, is, okay, so say that you start talking to Jamal all the time. Say Jamal happens to be.

• 1:11:54Speaker 05

  A female.

• 1:11:54Speaker 04

  A female.

• 1:11:55Speaker 05

  That, that's where I think it gets a little weird. If I know, I think I.

• 1:11:58Speaker 04

  You know what I'm going, you know where I'm going. I'm going as in, this is a female you're talking to, this, this female's gassing you up all the time, telling you how amazing you are and how wonderful your ideas are and you should really do the thing, you know, and she's all the things your wife is not. Or your spouse is not. And pretty soon you end up talking and communicating with this AI bot more than your spouse or your partner or your whatever. Is it, would it be like emotional cheating if, you know, you sort of pull away and are getting all your emotional support from an AI bot?

• 1:12:34Speaker 00

  What do you think, Rodney? I like how you threw it at me real quick.

• 1:12:39Speaker 04

  What do you think?

• 1:12:39Speaker 00

  I'm curious to know what you think.

• 1:12:43Speaker 00

  That's the fine line though, right?

• 1:12:44Speaker 04

  Right.

• 1:12:45Speaker 00

  That, that is because

• 1:12:49Speaker 00

  Jamal's been trained by Tony. And so it's got to know Tony, right? And Tony's feeling where Tony's coming from. Can Jamal be objective when it comes to you and Tony together?

• 1:13:03Speaker 04

  Right.

• 1:13:03Speaker 00

  Will he take Tony's side? So maybe it's not Jamal, maybe it's an independent one that you guys go in together and say, we are looking for a couples therapist. I have a question. Does Jamal take SAG insurance?

• 1:13:20Speaker 00

  But that's, that's signal.

• 1:13:22Speaker 04

  He probably does.

• 1:13:23Speaker 00

  But that's the, that. I'm fascinated by this. I have to tell you, this will be my takeaway from this interview because I never even. Do you think Jamal would be biased?

• 1:13:31Speaker 04

  Oh, a hundred percent because, and I, and I, and I say that only because like you said, he has so much more information about Tony and understands his perspective more. If I were to maybe like, if there was a way to like touch phones and, and you know what I mean? I'm sure there will be.

• 1:13:47Speaker 00

  Transfer information.

• 1:13:48Speaker 04

  Yeah, now you got my, all my information. Now give me the real download of what you think is, you know, the correct answer.

• 1:13:57Speaker 05

  Pretty soon they're going to be able to, I don't know how, five, 10 years from now, AI in a robot. You guys seen these robots now, these like, like out of Japan and stuff like that?

• 1:14:08Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 1:14:08Speaker 05

  Would you be okay him having AI robot that he talked to?

• 1:14:12Speaker 00

  I don't.

• 1:14:13Speaker 05

  Or vice versa, like.

• 1:14:15Speaker 04

  Can you have relations with this robot?

• 1:14:17Speaker 00

  Emotion, you can have emotional relations. Relation, relation. I'm sure that's.

• 1:14:22Speaker 05

  Yeah, you can as well, yeah.

• 1:14:24Speaker 00

  I mean, yeah, I'm sure, I'm sure you can. I'm sure you can. It can give you, there's massages that, that bots give you right now. So yeah, I'm sure that you can.

• 1:14:32Speaker 04

  Wow. It is, that's for sure cheating, isn't it?

• 1:14:35Speaker 00

  I would look at that as a helpful thing because he always wants me to rub his feet and I'm just. He's not talking about the massage. He's talking about taking it to the next level. Oh, I thought you were talking about a massage. Yeah, we're beyond massage.

• 1:14:48Speaker 04

  Nothing will traumatize you more than having to massage an NFL player, ex NFL player's foot.

• 1:14:53Speaker 00

  Honey, is this man's feet?

• 1:14:56Speaker 04

  That is love. If you touch a foot of an NFL player.

• 1:14:59Speaker 00

  And he always is like, honey, you, honey, you gonna rub my feet? He's, that's like his favorite thing to ask for is a foot rub. He loves to get a foot rub.

• 1:15:08Speaker 04

  What is that?

• 1:15:08Speaker 00

  So that would be a place where I would have. You okay with the bot? A bot coming in.

• 1:15:12Speaker 04

  That's not cheating. Definitely not.

• 1:15:14Speaker 00

  But.

• 1:15:14Speaker 05

  But bot sex is.

• 1:15:15Speaker 00

  Bot sex is that.

• 1:15:18Speaker 04

  That's just weird. I think you're just.

• 1:15:20Speaker 00

  Hold on, let me, let me, let me think it through. You had to pause on that. No, because, I don't know. Like, I don't know. I don't know. I had to think that one through. That, let, invite us back.

• 1:15:31Speaker 04

  You know what?

• 1:15:32Speaker 05

  I feel like all that's coming now.

• 1:15:33Speaker 04

  This is a lot to think about.

• 1:15:34Speaker 05

  Yeah, all that stuff is coming. AI, robots, all that, uh, going to chat bot, um, um, dinners and.

• 1:15:42Speaker 00

  Chat bot dinners.

• 1:15:44Speaker 05

  And all that.

• 1:15:45Speaker 00

  Chat bot dinners.

• 1:15:46Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:15:47Speaker 04

  What are you talking about?

• 1:15:48Speaker 00

  You can't go tonight. I'm gonna take, I'm gonna take Jamal and Jamie with me. Jamal and Jamie?

• 1:15:53Speaker 04

  Oh my goodness. Well, gosh, I feel like I learned so much in this episode. You really dropped some knowledge on us, taught us about how to keep a marriage together. We're still debating on whether cheating, whether the bot is cheating. There's a lot to walk away with.

• 1:16:07Speaker 00

  That's part two.

• 1:16:08Speaker 04

  That's part two. We have, we, yeah, we have a lot. Thank you guys so much for being here. This was so much fun.

• 1:16:13Speaker 00

  So fun.

• 1:16:14Speaker 04

  You guys are so wise and you deserve all the accolades for, you know, making it this far. Congratulations on a successful, beautiful marriage.

• 1:16:21Speaker 00

  Thank you.

• 1:16:22Speaker 04

  Beautiful kids and all of it. I hope to be like you.

• 1:16:25Speaker 00

  Oh, well, thank you guys. This is so great. And we knew. You guys make it easy. As soon as you asked us, we knew, uh, we gonna shut it down. Like, we're gonna just, this is, plus, we've been trying to get together anyway.

• 1:16:36Speaker 04

  I know.

• 1:16:37Speaker 00

  Go out to dinner or whatever. So.

• 1:16:39Speaker 04

  This feels like we're.

• 1:16:39Speaker 00

  This is our, this was our double date. I love it. Well, thank you.

• 1:16:43Speaker 04

  Thank you.

• 1:16:43Speaker 00

  Thank you guys.

• 1:16:54Speaker 04

  Honey, Felipe sent another photo. From Argentina? How? With T-Mobile, of course. Mira, he's video calling us. Hola familia. Did you get my photos? We did. They're so pretty. Here to share every moment with T-Mobile. Enjoy data roaming at no extra charge in twenty-one Latin American countries. Switch now on the T Life app or T-Mobile dot com slash conectate.

• 1:17:16Speaker 05

  Qualifying plan required. Not for extended international use. You must reset in the U.S. and primary usage may occur on our network. Visit T-Mobile dot com. Hola, es Mr. Monopoly. Has you done with fifty thousand dollars for the initial of a house or a gift charity of the year? Monopoly will be a McDonald's. And those are some of the prizes that you could have gotten. Feel for what you. No, you need to compare fifty states of the United States and DC. Eighteen years or more. Consult the regulations in PlayatMCD.com and PlayatMCD.com diagonal A M O E. For information about playing without a purchase by mail before November. The Chance Card Game ends on the eighth of November. The game ends on the twenty-second of November of two thousand twenty-six. Details of the prizes in the regulations. Monopoly is a registered house.

• 1:17:53Speaker 04

  If you've been putting off car shopping because it sounds like a whole thing, I get it. Life moves quickly and I really like when things are clear and easy. So here's a little tip. Buying your car online on AutoTrader makes the whole process way easier. Really. Start online, then head to the dealer for a test drive and finish wherever works best for you. Your information stays with you and you're working with local dealers. So real people are there to help. So flexible, so convenient, so recommended. Buy your car online on AutoTrader. Really.

• 1:18:28Speaker 01

  Coca-Cola. For the big, for the small, the short and the tall. Peacemakers, risk takers. For the optimists, pessimists. For long distance love. For introverts and extroverts. The thinkers and the doers. For old friends and new. Coca-Cola for everyone. Pick up some Coca-Cola at a store near you.

• 1:18:57Speaker 04

  This is Iris Palmer from Against All Odds with Iris Palmer. You know that feeling when your skin needs a tall drink of water? That's when you reach for Clinique Moisture Surge a Hundred Hour Moisturizer and let your skin soak it up. It absorbs instantly and gives you a hundred hours of hydration for that plump, healthy looking glow. And the texture? Lightweight, refreshing, oil-free gel cream that feels so good going on, never heavy or weighted down. Plus, it's allergy-tested, fragrance-free, and safe for sensitive skin. Check, check, and super check. Try Clinique Moisture Surge a Hundred Hour today at Clinique dot com. Feels like Moisture Surge.

• 1:19:36Speaker 02

  What's up everyone? I'm Angel.

• 1:19:37Speaker 00

  I'm Diego. I'm Jason. And we're Agusto Papa.

• 1:19:40Speaker 02

  Okay, be real. What era are we in?

• 1:19:42Speaker 00

  We got motion, podcast up, life's moving. Yeah, but the cars though, bruh, be serious.

• 1:19:48Speaker 02

  Every life update needs new wheels. Estamos en otra etapa, la troca también. Low-key, more luxury, or maybe a hybrid. Más millas, menos impacto.

• 1:19:56Speaker 00

  I'm down for the upgrade. Cars.com filter everything. Price, style, mileage, over two million new and used cars, real reviews, clear ratings. You know it's a good move. Punto.

• 1:20:07Speaker 02

  Start your search with Cars.com.

• 1:20:09Speaker 00

  Where to next?

• 1:20:10Speaker 03

  You know that place you can thinking about? El departamento con lavadora y secadora, o la casa con patio? That's you Sunday. Everyone has one. Para mí, ese día llegó con mucho trabajo. Y tú sacrifias en un lado pasión. Ya sea que compres, vendes o rentes, si obtiene todo lo que necesitas en un solo lugar. With the professional tools and trust the partners para que avances con claridad y confianza. Because you don't reason, stand still. Da el primer paso. With Zillow, Sunday starts today. B C Zillow dot com slash today.