Marriage, Heartbreak and Grief with Kelsey Chittick

This week, we’re joined by our longtime friend Kelsey Chittick. We talk about how we first met — and who Tony was before Tobie came into the picture — before Kelsey opens up about the love and admiration she still holds for her late husband, Nate Chittick. She shares how she picked herself and her children back up after his sudden passing, navigated unimaginable grief, and ultimately learned that even after losing your spouse, it’s possible to build a life that’s still full, meaningful, and worth living. See omnystudio.com/listener https://omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

• 0:00Speaker 00

  Okay, hear me out. Tuesdays are the new Fridays. And no, I'm not talking about going out. I'm talking about T-Mobile Tuesdays. Porque who doesn't love una buena sorpresa? And now T-Mobile Tuesdays are available en español. Just set your phone to Spanish and that's it. Bien fácil. Honestly, being a T-Mobile member keeps getting better. I get America's best network, plus streaming benefits, travel perks, weekly surprises with T-Mobile Tuesdays, and so much more. And you know, I'm always here for getting more out of the things I already love. So if you're looking for more reasons to switch to T-Mobile, there are plenty. Encuentra las tuyas. Switch now at T-Mobile dot com slash conectate. Qualifying plan required.

• 0:38Speaker 00

  Best mobile network in the U.S. based on analysis by Ookla of Speed Test Intelligence data one age 2026.

• 0:46Speaker 01

  Coca-Cola. For the big, for the small, the short, and the tall. Peacemakers, risk takers. For the optimists, pessimists. For long distance love. For introverts and extroverts. The thinkers and the doers. For old friends and new. Coca-Cola. For everyone. Pick up some Coca-Cola at a store near you.

• 1:16Speaker 00

  Hey, what's up? It's Chiqui from Chiqui's in Chill. Okay, today's vibe, upgrade season. Because why do we level up in life but keep the same ride? If you're stepping into a new chapter, your car should match your energy. And cars dot com is the perfect place to find it. With over 2 million new and used cars to choose from. I love the tools and filters. They make it easy to narrow it down by price, features, style. Tu decides. Y hello, no endless scrolling. You can check out real reviews from real people with real experiences. So tap into that new car energy and search cars dot com. Cars dot com, where to next?

• 1:52Speaker 02

  This is Iris Palmer from Against All Odds with Iris Palmer. You know that feeling when your skin needs a tall drink of water? That's when you reach for Clinique Moisture Surge 100 Hour Moisturizer and let your skin soak it up. It absorbs instantly and gives you 100 hours of hydration for that plump, healthy-looking glow. And the texture, lightweight, refreshing, oil-free gel cream that feels so good going on, never heavy or weighted down. Plus, it's allergy-tested, fragrance-free, and safe for sensitive skin. Check, check, and super check. Try Clinique Moisture Surge 100 Hour today at Clinique dot com. Feels like Moisture Surge.

• 2:30Speaker 03

  I walk in, and you guys are in the kitchen, and it's Tony, and it's Nate, and it's this bombshell who has got my newborn baby holding her against her bosom. And Nate was not looking at the child. He was just looking at Toby. And she's holding my newborn baby. I don't even know her.

• 2:50Speaker 00

  I wore a lot of crop tops and like low rider jeans because that was the time.

• 2:54Speaker 03

  And like really tight things up. And so I, and I come in in like a mu mu, just. Like two weeks after, I said, Nate, can I talk to you? And we walked in the room and I said, who in the hell is this? And who is holding my baby?

• 3:14Speaker 00

  Welcome back to No Safe Words with October and Tony Gonzalez. I am so super excited to welcome our next guest. She is someone that we've known for a lot of years and been through a lot of life with. So Kelsey isn't only our best friend, but she is a bestselling author, speaker, comedian, and certified life coach. She has definitely been my life coach on many occasions, your life coach. I think she's the person we call most when shit's hitting the fan.

• 3:42Speaker 04

  Yeah, need some good advice.

• 3:44Speaker 00

  She's gonna drop some knowledge on us, so make sure you tune into this episode with Kelsey Chittick.

• 3:52Speaker 00

  Well, welcome back, everyone, to No Safe Words. I'm gonna open it up by just explaining who you are, Kelsey Chittick. She was a competitive swimmer at the University of North Carolina, where she was an NCAA championship qualifier and captain of the women's swim team. Kelsey was married to former NFL player and Super Bowl champion Nate Hobgood-Chittick, whom she had known since college. Kelsey chronicled her experience with loss and rebuilding her life in the memoir Second Half: Surviving Loss and Finding Magic in the Missing. Her work now focuses heavily on grief, radical acceptance, finding joy after tragedy, and helping others navigate difficult seasons. She also hosts the podcast Moms Don't Have Time to Grieve. Welcome, Kelsey Hobgood-Chittick.

• 4:35Speaker 03

  Thank you.

• 4:36Speaker 04

  That was nice. That was very hype.

• 4:39Speaker 03

  I feel like I've got a lot done.

• 4:40Speaker 04

  You ready to go compete?

• 4:42Speaker 03

  You're ready to go compete? Take your mark.

• 4:44Speaker 00

  Oh my gosh. Well, I want to just jump into, right off the bat, for people who don't know who Kelsey is, after that wonderful introduction. She is, more importantly, our dear friend and someone that you've known even longer than me, which is actually crazy.

• 4:58Speaker 04

  Back in my single days, you know, the single side of Tony.

• 5:01Speaker 00

  Oh, Lord.

• 5:01Speaker 03

  100.

• 5:02Speaker 00

  But explain how you two know each other, since it starts with, it starts off with you and Nate's, you know, meeting and knowing each other.

• 5:10Speaker 04

  Well, I was, I played with Nate, her husband. He was the defensive tackle for the Kansas City Chiefs back in the day. And we hit it off, became really good friends. We had a lot in common. And that's how I met Kelsey, just being good friends with Nate, becoming one of.

• 5:24Speaker 00

  How was Tony back then? Do you remember him when you met him?

• 5:27Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah. I mean, he was a dirty dog. I mean, I was like, Nate, do we want to be around these type of people?

• 5:34Speaker 00

  He was wild, right? I always tell people, I'm like, he was wild. He's an old man now. You'd never know.

• 5:38Speaker 03

  It's so different for him now. And I kind of miss the guy.

• 5:41Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 5:42Speaker 03

  You know, because that guy was, hey, hey, hey. And the women just loved it. And Nate was just like 310 pounds, white, pasty, and he was just like trying to wait, get like one scrap behind Tony, you know? And I was like, hey, we're, I'm here. Like, Nate, I'm here.

• 5:56Speaker 00

  Right.

• 5:56Speaker 03

  And he was like, yeah, but I'm just seeing if they would go home with me. If you weren't here, you know?

• 6:01Speaker 00

  Oh, my gosh.

• 6:03Speaker 03

  But I, I remember, I mean, you were just so much fun. They were so much fun. And I remember the first time that I met this.

• 6:10Speaker 00

  Me.

• 6:11Speaker 04

  Her.

• 6:11Speaker 03

  Hooker.

• 6:12Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 6:13Speaker 03

  So, do you want me to tell that story now?

• 6:16Speaker 00

  It's a great story.

• 6:17Speaker 03

  So I didn't know you. I knew you. We had come to California.

• 6:20Speaker 00

  We were just dating at the time.

• 6:22Speaker 03

  Yeah, I didn't even know. This is like early. This is the very first time I meet you.

• 6:25Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 6:25Speaker 03

  So I am like 196 pounds. I just finished having a baby. And I come, I come home to El Segundo. We had this like our new house, and we couldn't believe we had like the money to get it. And I walk in, and you guys are in the kitchen, and it's Tony, and it's Nate, and it's this bombshell who has got my newborn baby holding her against her bosom. And Nate was not looking at the child. He was just looking at Toby. And she's holding my newborn baby. I don't even know her. I think she, not, not you didn't.

• 7:00Speaker 00

  I'm feeding him. I'm giving him milk.

• 7:02Speaker 03

  Yeah, you were, you were dressed.

• 7:04Speaker 00

  I wore a lot of crop tops and like low rider jeans because that was the time, yeah.

• 7:08Speaker 03

  And like really tight things up. And so I, and I come in in like a mu mu, just. Like two weeks after, so Toby's just there, and she's just feeding my baby. And I'm like.

• 7:22Speaker 00

  Precious baby.

• 7:23Speaker 03

  Precious. And I, I said, Nate, can I talk to you? And we walked in the room, and I said, who in the hell is this? And who is holding my baby?

• 7:30Speaker 04

  It's one of Tony's new friends.

• 7:32Speaker 03

  Hottest girl. And since that, from then, a lot of things went happen, but.

• 7:36Speaker 00

  I'm a lot smarter than I look.

• 7:37Speaker 03

  Yes. And Nate loved you from the beginning. I did too. You've always helped me in a lot of areas, but those days, my outfits were really bad, and they've gotten better.

• 7:48Speaker 00

  We were just talking about you shopping at Target still, and we're trying, still trying to pull you away from buying clothes, in particular, from Target. We love Target.

• 7:54Speaker 04

  Love Target.

• 7:55Speaker 00

  Obsessed with Target, but she has to expand her horizons a little bit.

• 7:58Speaker 03

  I just want to talk to everybody in the audience. I get all my clothes at Target, and I love it.

• 8:02Speaker 04

  Okay. Well, you look great.

• 8:03Speaker 00

  This is Zara.

• 8:05Speaker 03

  This is Zara. I've gone up one, yeah.

• 8:06Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 8:07Speaker 03

  But, yeah, so then I don't know. Time went on. I had a baby, you had a baby.

• 8:10Speaker 00

  Yep. And we remained close.

• 8:13Speaker 04

  Yeah, became good friends, going on vacations together, all that type of stuff.

• 8:16Speaker 00

  Yeah, our families did everything, like a lot of things together. Raising little kids. Our daughters are the same age. And then 2011?

• 8:26Speaker 03

  Who?

• 8:27Speaker 00

  When, when did, when did, when did all of this go down? When did everything change? 2017. Yes, it was September 11th, 2017, when you and I were together in Jamaica on like a spiritual retreat.

• 8:41Speaker 03

  November.

• 8:42Speaker 00

  November 11th, sorry, November 11th. 11, 11.

• 8:46Speaker 03

  11, 11, 17.

• 8:46Speaker 00

  11, 11, 17. We were in Jamaica on a spiritual retreat, and we get a call.

• 8:51Speaker 03

  We just take a pause. We kind of had to. We read a bunch of books. Nate was really into learning things. You were always. He's not just a meathead, but you were.

• 9:01Speaker 00

  I know, it's shocking.

• 9:02Speaker 03

  It is shocking.

• 9:03Speaker 00

  Can't believe you're not just a meathead.

• 9:05Speaker 03

  Yeah. Well, now he's like almost two into the books.

• 9:07Speaker 00

  I know.

• 9:08Speaker 03

  Get back to their side. But we, we all were reading books and doing things, and I had a lot of anxiety. And then we met some people that had written some books that we really liked, and they had this experience that we could go to Jamaica and do like Wim Hof was really big then, and Stephen Kotler. Marissa Pierce, like people were looking outside of things to, from medicine. And so basically, you and Nate were like, you guys need to go. Need to go.

• 9:34Speaker 00

  And for whatever reason, you guys were not going, and you guys were like pushing us to go, and we were like, okay.

• 9:38Speaker 04

  We've already achieved enlightenment, close.

• 9:41Speaker 00

  Oh, brother. But we went and had a great time.

• 9:44Speaker 03

  Yeah. And so we got there, and I had never, I had been so afraid. My kids were nine and 12 at the time, and I hadn't left them really. And she was like, just go, we're gonna have fun. And when we first got there, we were like, this is so weird.

• 9:56Speaker 00

  So there was, look, there's always a couple weird spiritual people there that like make you feel uncomfortable, but then you just say, fuck it. You lean in. And you're like, want to get weird? I'll match your weird. Let's go.

• 10:07Speaker 03

  Totally.

• 10:07Speaker 00

  It's go time.

• 10:08Speaker 03

  So I remember you guys used to FaceTime a lot on the phone, but I was like, I don't, I think it costs too much, you know? Like, I just go just on, just talking, you know? And, but we ended up making this great group of friends. We like smoked weed in Jamaica.

• 10:21Speaker 00

  Oh, Jamaican weed.

• 10:22Speaker 03

  We just met a bunch of people from all around the world, and it just changed our minds around some things.

• 10:26Speaker 00

  Yeah, it was beautiful. It was a beautiful trip.

• 10:28Speaker 03

  It was. It was so much fun. And then the last day.

• 10:33Speaker 00

  Our whole world changed with one phone call that, you know, Nate had taken your kids to the trampoline park, and he had passed out at the trampoline park. And we thought, this idiot, he needs to drink water. What the hell is wrong with him? Like, or, you know, he got overheated jumping at the trampoline park. He was a big guy.

• 10:53Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 10:53Speaker 00

  And that is not what happened. It escalated and we ended up finding it was a lot far more serious.

• 11:00Speaker 03

  Yeah, so we were, I had swam in the ocean and I remember I we'd gotten out of the water, the three of us, and I kinda just went underwater. And I remember thinking like everything's changed, like my brain's changed, like everything's changed based on the things we've learned. And then my phone call. I got from my girlfriend Michelle and she said, I don't want you to do the Kelsey. But Nate fell at the Sky Zone at a birthday party. And so I don't know what you need to do, but don't freak out. And then I just, everything in my body was like, nope. Something really bad's happened and I don't think I talked quite much after that.

• 11:37Speaker 00

  You didn't, which I knew something was really wrong when you didn't talk, cuz there's never been any moment since I've known you that you don't talk. And we just got all your stuff together in a suitcase, got you on a plane, and by the time you landed, you knew that.

• 11:50Speaker 03

  Well, no, we got basically, we jumped in the car and you were like, are you sure we can go to, we can go tomorrow? There was one, one seat on the flight coming back to the States. And we were in the cab. And then we said, my, my phone rang and they, I said, can you pull over? We pulled over and it was the, um, I cry every time, it was the ER doctor at UCLA, uh, at Torrance. And he said, I'm so sorry, Mrs. Chittick. Is your, is your husband Nate Hopgood Chittick? And I said, yeah, and he said, he's dead.

• 12:24Speaker 00

  Well, you kept saying, just tell me, just tell me.

• 12:27Speaker 03

  Cuz he was like.

• 12:31Speaker 03

  That, that is the second half of how you guys. Not saved my life, but you guys, you guys have been.

• 12:40Speaker 00

  Played a different role, it's sort of, everything's sort of changed. I mean, I wouldn't say for the better because we don't have our friend here anymore, but I would say I'm so happy with where we are now and like how close we are now and like where we, how far we've come. And I, it's just so many beautiful things have come from such a tragic thing. That it's, it's kind of remarkable, actually. So, you know, when all of this happened, obviously you have a lot of friends from like Florida who you've grown up with, everybody's around you and I would say like in the, in those circumstances, it's so hard to show up for a friend or you just don't know how to show up for a friend who's grieving in the, in the way that you were grieving. I mean, I lost my mom at the age of fifteen.

• 13:25Speaker 00

  But it was very different, right? Like my mom wasn't in my everyday life cuz I wasn't living with her at the time. And although it was horrific, losing the father of your children with two young kids who are like nine and what, twelve? Nine and twelve and, and realizing like every single second of your life is going to be different now. This isn't like losing a parent. This is not like losing a relative. This is like the purse, your, your best friend, your person. And now you're going to have to face all of the things with your two kids. You know, alone, essentially. And I will say this, I have never seen anybody pick up their like themselves up and, and meet it head on like as fiercely as you have.

• 14:07Speaker 00

  I mean, like truly, like you're the type of person who like you didn't waste a fucking second, like you were just like going full steam ahead like you were going to do. I mean, you had obviously a lot of sad days, but like, and, and it comes like this.

• 14:22Speaker 03

  But I was clear that, that we weren't, this wasn't gonna ruin our life. I mean, Nate would have killed me. If I had, I remember just telling the kids like, we're gonna have a great life. I don't know how we're gonna do it. I don't even have a life without him. He was everything, but the only way that we can honor him is to just crush our life. And so that kind of was a North Star that helped for me.

• 14:46Speaker 03

  And I think it's helped me and I, I'm almost ten years now, so it's like very different than it is. If you're in early grief.

• 14:53Speaker 00

  Can you remember when you got the call, like how you felt? Was it just like surreal for you?

• 14:57Speaker 04

  Yeah, I was, uh, I was working for Fox and we were in Norfolk, Norfolk? Virginia, uh, for Veterans Day. And I had gotten off one of the hovercraft, went for a ride on the hovercraft. And, uh, on the, in the car on the way home, we're driving back to the hotel cuz we shot it cuz we were gonna shoot the show the next day. That's when I got the call. And I was like numb.

• 15:21Speaker 00

  Shell shocked.

• 15:21Speaker 04

  Yeah, shell shocked.

• 15:24Speaker 04

  And I didn't say a word in the car and it was like, we still had another thirty, forty minutes to go to get back to the hotel. And, um, when I got out of the car, I think I got a text from Carissa or.

• 15:37Speaker 03

  Or Joel, maybe.

• 15:38Speaker 04

  Or Joel, and like what the hell, what the hell's happening? And I'm like, Nate passed away. And they're like, and then I get a, get a call from Joel, who was, uh, one of the Fox producers.

• 15:48Speaker 03

  It was his birthday.

• 15:49Speaker 04

  It was his birthday. Yeah, and then we were just sat there and cried on the phone together, two grown, two grown men. But, you know, out of the ashes, um, you have risen up and showed, probably showed yourself, the, the strength that you probably never knew that you had.

• 16:10Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah, I like.

• 16:11Speaker 04

  And, and, and all the stuff that comes with that, um, with regranning, gaining your life back and raising two children in that, in that process. How, how long was the grieving process?

• 16:27Speaker 03

  The, the first two years are out of your mind. Like you almost feel like you're on drugs.

• 16:32Speaker 00

  You don't remember.

• 16:32Speaker 03

  You don't remember and everyone's like walking around, living a regular life and you literally feel like you're in another world. Nothing makes sense when somebody, and I, I, I mean, I obviously do a lot of work with this now, but I haven't had cancer or my, I don't know that type of death, but I do know sudden death. It blows your mind. Because you just were talking to them. And then it's just gone.

• 16:54Speaker 00

  It's not real.

• 16:55Speaker 03

  So you have this, it feels, it makes your whole life feel really strange for a while. Whereas I think if you have somebody that dies slowly and you're kind of praying that it will get better for them and there's backs and forth and, um, they're different, they're both awful. But for me, it took me about two years to, and it was COVID. Almost became COVID, which was so nice cuz the whole world stopped.

• 17:15Speaker 00

  That's right.

• 17:15Speaker 03

  So we just stopped. And we just sat and cried for days and weeks. And then, um, I think it started, I mean, when we started traveling, that's the other thing. Two, wait, when was it? Three years after he died, we went on our first trip?

• 17:30Speaker 00

  It's pretty, it was pretty soon. Maybe the third year.

• 17:33Speaker 03

  And they've, uh, we've, you guys have always included my kids and I, you've never said like, you don't have a boyfriend, you don't have Nate, like everybody just took us. And we went everywhere together and it, it changed our lives. And I think that's when we started to see the world is big. Cuz Elsa Gundo's not. And so there was a lot of pain for her cuz he, he was a big person there and everybody loved him and I loved him. Big fish. And then he was just gone. He, he was leading things. He was heading up the Moose Lodge, which is important, you know, these things. He wanted to be on city council. He wanted to play basketball and football. And so everybody was, the whole town got quiet.

• 18:11Speaker 00

  How can you describe Nate's personality? Because he was such an, uh, individual, special person.

• 18:17Speaker 04

  Yeah, personality and, and then your relationship with, in that personality. Cuz you guys were together for, how long were you married for again?

• 18:25Speaker 03

  I was twen-, well, I was nineteen when I met him. So I met him at a bar. And he sat next to me. He was just the biggest man I've ever seen in my life. Like not just football big, but like fat, you know?

• 18:38Speaker 03

  And I remember.

• 18:39Speaker 00

  You said, that's my man right there.

• 18:41Speaker 03

  We talked for a little bit and I was like, this is a meet, he was like, hey ladies, ladies, how did I get these beautiful women here? Oh my God. You know, and I was just like, oh God, this guy, like he's just, he's enormous and he's, he's kind of funny. But when he left, he, they all left the lineman, we were at Carolina and I was swimming there. And he's put a, he left and he had a napkin that said, um, great, I can't remember it, this is gonna, and say goodbye to the, something, I don't know.

• 19:09Speaker 00

  Say goodbye to the zero and get with the hero.

• 19:11Speaker 03

  Yeah, or something like.

• 19:11Speaker 00

  Something like that.

• 19:12Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 19:12Speaker 04

  Cuz you were on a date at the time, right?

• 19:14Speaker 03

  And so he'd send this, this napkin that said something really cute. There was something about like, you're the best. I hope I see you again. It was like a rhyming thing. And I always thought it was so cute and I, I just thought, oh, it's so great. And then like four years later, after we'd gotten married, there was this drunk girl at a party and she was like, you won't believe this, Kelsey. I totally remember when Nate, we were at a bar one day and he put this napkin down and it was the cutest thing. It was the exact same thing he said to me.

• 19:40Speaker 04

  My buddy.

• 19:40Speaker 03

  And I was like, how many people did he send it to?

• 19:46Speaker 05

  Guys, if you know me, you know there's always something going on. Big games, streaming, traveling, making plans with the crew. There's always something on the calendar. So I'm all about getting more out of the things I'm already doing. And that's why I like about being a T-Mobile member. I get America's best network and weekly perks with T-Mobile Tuesdays. Every week, there's something new to check out. From savings on movie tickets and streaming benefits to access to unforgettable experiences. And now, T-Mobile Tuesdays are available in Spanish too. Just set your phone to Spanish. I know, easy, right? That's a lot of value on top of a network that already gives you the most. And it's just one of the reasons to switch to T-Mobile. Find yours. Visit tmobile.com/switch.

• 20:31Speaker 05

  Qualifying plan required. Best mobile network in the U.S. Based on the analysis by Ookla of Speed Test Intelligence data. 1/8/2026.

• 20:39Speaker 02

  This is Iris Palmer from Against All Odds with Iris Palmer. You know that feeling when your skin is just thirsty? Um, excuse me, I need some water over here. That's when you reach for Clinique Moisture Surge 100-Hour Moisturizer and let your skin soak it up. It absorbs quickly and gives skin 100 hours of hydration. So it feels fresh, plump, and glowing without that heavy or weighted down feeling. It's a lightweight, oil-free gel cream. And that refreshing feeling when it melts into your skin? Love. And there's some good stuff behind all that moisture too. Aloe Bio Ferment and hyaluronic acid help skin hold on to hydration. So it stays feeling comfortably hydrated.

• 21:20Speaker 02

  And for all my sensitive skin girlies, it's allergy-tested, fragrance-free, and safe for sensitive skin. Check, check, and super check. Because honestly, when your skin is well hydrated, you can feel it. Just like that ah feeling when you're thirsty and finally get that tall glass of water? Alive and with plump-looking skin? That's an aha. Try Clinique Moisture Surge 100-Hour today at Clinique.com. Feels like Moisture Surge.

• 21:48Speaker 01

  Coca-Cola. For the big, for the small, the short, and the tall. Peacemakers, risk-takers. For the optimists, pessimists. For long-distance love. For introverts and extroverts. The thinkers and the doers. For old friends and new. Coca-Cola. For everyone. Pick up some Coca-Cola at a store near you.

• 22:18Speaker 06

  If you've been putting off car shopping because it sounds like a whole thing, I get it. Life moves quickly. There's already plenty to do. And personally, I really like when things are clear and easy. So here's a little tip. Buying your car online on AutoTrader makes the whole process way easier. I mean, really. And you don't have to choose between shopping online and going to the dealership. With AutoTrader, you can start online, then head to a dealer for a test drive, and finish wherever works best for you. So flexible, so convenient, and honestly, so recommended. And your information stays with you, so you're not starting over every time you take the next step.

• 22:59Speaker 06

  Plus, you're working with local dealers, so there are real people there to help you when you need them. And when you're ready, you can pick up your car or have it delivered. Life just got easier. You're welcome. Buy your car online on AutoTrader. Really.

• 23:15Speaker 04

  You know that place you've been thinking about? El departamento con la lavadora y secadora, o la casa con patio? That's your Sunday. Everyone has one. Para mí, ese sueño no era solo llegar a la Grandes Ligas. It was every early morning, every workout, every swing. Fueron el sacrificio, la pasión y creer en mí. Little by little, my Sunday became today. Encontrar tu próximo hogar funciona de la misma manera. Whether you're buying, selling, or renting, CeeLo has everything you need in one place. Sus herramientas profesionales y aliados de confianza te acompañan en cada paso. So you can move forward with clarity and confidence. Hay algo que sé con certeza. You don't rest on standing still. Tienes que dar el primer paso.

• 23:59Speaker 04

  So don't just keep talking about Sunday. Haz que ese día sea hoy. With CeeLo, Sunday starts today. Visit CeeLo.com/today.

• 24:12Speaker 03

  Yeah, he was the happiest person. I know he had stuff going on inside his own brain. As we know, he had stage three CTE when he died. But his whole life, he just wanted to have fun. He just wanted to talk to people.

• 24:25Speaker 00

  Did he ever?

• 24:27Speaker 04

  So you guys were married for 19 years? No, not 19 years.

• 24:29Speaker 03

  Yeah, 21.

• 24:30Speaker 04

  21 years.

• 24:31Speaker 03

  Well, we were together for 21 years. I can't remember when we got married.

• 24:33Speaker 04

  Would you consider, like, what was the relationship like? Was it, when you look back on your relationship with Nate, was there arguments that you look back now and go, how stupid was that? Not even worth it?

• 24:48Speaker 03

  We didn't argue in the same way. He was always in trouble with me because he wasn't doing what I wanted to do. We didn't have, like, I wasn't worried he was going to sleep with someone else. I would be like, you can get someone, like, let me see. He's like, go, boy. Like, or you should lose some weight, you know? Like, he was just, he was just, everything was big with him. So I don't think we fought. I worried about money because he was a real spender. Not a spender, but he was a real giver away. So we would be like, oh, let me see.

• 25:15Speaker 00

  He was a helper of the people.

• 25:16Speaker 03

  Yeah, and I'd be like, oh, let me look at our bank account. And he'd be like, I'd be like, where's the 20,000? And like, oh, I decided to get someone a minivan. And I was like, oh, really? Because, like, I just was like, things like that. He was always giving and not telling, kind of. And so I was always nervous. But what I worried about him always was that he would just get over his skis. Like, one time, he was like, I don't know, he was coming home and he'd had a drink and someone pulled, and the cop pulled him over. And I was just like, you can't do that stuff. Like, he went and he was like, you know, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry. He was always like, making mistakes that, maybe it was the CTE, or maybe it was just Nate.

• 25:54Speaker 00

  Right.

• 25:54Speaker 03

  But he just wanted to live.

• 25:56Speaker 00

  He just lived really big, full throttle.

• 25:58Speaker 03

  Never says a bad thing about anybody. Nonjudgmental, opposite of me.

• 26:02Speaker 00

  And you guys had a special relationship. I felt like there was, he was just a person in your life that I felt like really, I don't know, every time you guys got together, I felt like there was like these really deep conversations that most men, when they get together, don't really have, right? Football players, especially.

• 26:16Speaker 03

  It's very rare, you know, that you have another, like, two men who, like, can get deep really quick, get cut right to the chase of things, like, there's no fluff, there's no, like, trying to, there's no ego involved.

• 26:26Speaker 04

  There's no safe words.

• 26:27Speaker 03

  There's no safe words.

• 26:28Speaker 04

  Yeah, true. Yeah, well, I think that's what I loved about Nate is, and people that I gravitate towards. I want to be able to talk about the economy. I want to be able to talk about raising kids. I want to be able to talk about spirituality. I want, like, there's no, it's not just sports. And then I want to be able to talk about.

• 26:48Speaker 00

  You see that, girl?

• 26:49Speaker 04

  What you always.

• 26:51Speaker 00

  From Gandhi to Neanderthal, in 3.2 seconds, we're Nate and Tony.

• 26:54Speaker 04

  Yes, and I like that. I like to have that range in conversation. We can talk about everything. We can talk about the Hawaiian Tropic Contest, or we could talk about the, whatever, the state of affairs going on globally, and AI, what's going on, are we all going to die? Stuff like, let's hit all the subjects. So he was really, really good about that.

• 27:13Speaker 03

  Yeah, and he loved, you guys had a, you had a depth of relationship that I don't think a lot of football players, I mean, we have a lot in our lives that are really great, but you guys really wanted to get better.

• 27:24Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 27:25Speaker 03

  You are two guys that really think about yourselves. And you are, you were always trying to say, like, how can I get better? How can I, you know, I want to learn Spanish, I want to do this. Like, they both wanted to be better than they are, not just football. I mean, football was great because you guys were good at it and you had great times. But most of it, I felt like you guys were talking about, like, how do I be a better man?

• 27:50Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 27:50Speaker 03

  A father, a wife, and no one's perfect, but it was fun to have people that were trying, what, men trying to be so good.

• 27:58Speaker 04

  Yeah, so Nate's gone now.

• 28:00Speaker 03

  Nate's gone.

• 28:01Speaker 04

  He's gone. You have to raise children. What was it like raising children, being a single parent? You know, my mom was a single parent, but that was through divorce.

• 28:09Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 28:10Speaker 04

  Obviously, you're a single parent through death. What was that like raising children on your own?

• 28:15Speaker 03

  You know, I always, I thought about, like, how many people are doing this? And we had enough to have a home and to eat. So I, I feel.

• 28:26Speaker 03

  It for me, it was just fear and sadness. And just how does life work when somebody that you think was gonna be there the whole time and was the part of the reason why you had kids? I always wanted to have his kids. And my kids are great, and I think the bad parts are probably from me. Honestly, you meet him now. You know?

• 28:45Speaker 00

  That's not true.

• 28:46Speaker 03

  But I, I just didn't know how I would ever get past it. And then the kids just were really great, like we talked about them all the time. We always, we'd speak about it. We did all the things that you're supposed to do, and I think they work. We, we did meditation, we did.

• 29:02Speaker 00

  You did it all.

• 29:03Speaker 03

  We, we moved, we went to, not moved, moved our bodies. Um, we talked about it, we made fun of him, we'd bring it up. Like, oh, where'd Nate go? Of course he's gone. Of course he forgot where to get home.

• 29:14Speaker 00

  There was no, like, we don't talk about him anymore. Like, you guys were so good. I mean, your pictures are still up in the house. Like, there was never a feeling of like that they couldn't express how they felt or if they were sad or having a bad day. I just remember Addison going through it. And you know, and, and Jack going through his, through it his own way. But how do you think it's changed each of them? Like, how, I mean, maybe it's hard to say now, but how do you see them different now?

• 29:42Speaker 03

  It's better now. But I mean, I, I honestly, I mean, it's almost been, we're going into our 10th year. I feel good for the first time. Mostly because I prayed that I could get them to college. I could pray that they, I would be enough.

• 29:54Speaker 00

  You did it.

• 29:55Speaker 03

  Yeah, I mean, I thought, how could I have these kids and do what he was supposed to do? He was such a big part of it. And I was just kinda like the one yelling at people and like making Trader Joe's dinner.

• 30:04Speaker 00

  No, you were keeping it all together.

• 30:06Speaker 03

  But when, when he died, I was like, oh, I need to, I need to like up my, my thoughts. And I did, and I started, we started talking, we started, um, telling the truth. We, we just decided like, we're not gonna let this end us.

• 30:22Speaker 03

  And so I think the best thing to do is keep talking about it and find a way to talk to them, even though you can't see them. Cause I always tell the kids, if you can talk to God, you can talk to Nate. So don't feel like you're connect, not connected to them. If you can, if you can see anything good, then that's Nate. And so they rolled their eyes for years. And now they're, they're saying all the things I said, you know, finally.

• 30:44Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 30:45Speaker 00

  God, you really did it, Kelsey. Raised some good kids.

• 30:48Speaker 04

  Well, how'd you handle the, the other side of that? Like just being the, the mom and the dad and?

• 30:54Speaker 03

  Jack became the dad in the house.

• 30:56Speaker 04

  Really?

• 30:56Speaker 03

  Yeah, day one, day one.

• 30:58Speaker 04

  And he was 12 at the time.

• 31:00Speaker 00

  Do you remember his speech at the funeral?

• 31:02Speaker 04

  Most incredible speech you ever heard.

• 31:03Speaker 00

  I was, I mean, my job was on the ground. When your son got up there at 12 years old and gave maybe the most poignant speech I've ever heard of a child or adult. It was, he was so composed and so, it was so well, he was so well spoken, so mature. And delivered the most beautiful speech about being a man already because his dad had taught him everything he already needed to know. And I sobbed my eyes out, but that kid was built to, to overcome and to, and to be the man that he is becoming, you know? And he's so much like his dad.

• 31:37Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's almost like he knew 12 was enough.

• 31:40Speaker 00

  Oh my.

• 31:40Speaker 03

  Like, the minute he died, he was like, mom, what do you need? Like, I'm here, what do you need from me? Cause I crawled for a while. I mean, it's always nice to think of it like that this is great, but there was days and weeks and years that were.

• 31:53Speaker 00

  The first Christmas, the first hal, the first anniversary of, of his passing.

• 31:57Speaker 03

  I mean, I asked the kids, I was like, does anybody else wanna die? And they were like, not exactly. And I was like, cause I was thinking if.

• 32:04Speaker 00

  That's how you feel.

• 32:04Speaker 03

  I felt like there's no way this will work. So like, maybe if we all need, and then Jack would be like, you know, today I did kinda feel like I wanted to end it. And I was like, well, just breathe through it. It's like, you can't tell people, don't do that. No, because it feels that way. You're like, this doesn't work. He just was so much fun to live with. He was just, you just like, life was better when Nate was around. I feel like now we finally are back to happy.

• 32:29Speaker 03

  Not to make anybody that has death right now, I'm like, it's a decade, but it's, it's time.

• 32:33Speaker 04

  Well, everybody's different, right?

• 32:33Speaker 00

  It took a lot to get you there.

• 32:35Speaker 03

  Yeah, but you fight for it. You fight for it because you do it to honor the person that, if you love someone that much, then you better be ready to work really hard to honor how much you love them. And I think you do that by being happy.

• 32:48Speaker 00

  That's right.

• 32:49Speaker 03

  Nobody wants the person to be like, no one's up in heaven being like, no, cry, no, damn, cried in weeks. No.

• 32:55Speaker 00

  Right, they're like, come on, girl, get on up, take a shower, brush your teeth, get outside. Well, I, I know that there was like, there is a long list of all the things that you did to heal yourself. And everybody can do a mil, anyone, you know, everyone's different and you can do a million things. But what were like the things that really helped you through the grieving process? That like really made a difference for your healing journey?

• 33:17Speaker 03

  Writing.

• 33:17Speaker 00

  Writing? You wrote a book, I wanna talk about that, but like, you did.

• 33:22Speaker 03

  I did everything, I did.

• 33:24Speaker 00

  What is that, one therapy?

• 33:25Speaker 03

  I did tapping, I did, um, I mean, I did anything, I did red light. I do, I believe in all the things, I believe in medicine and I believe in all the things. And I also believe if you believe it, it works. You don't need to have, if, if something makes you feel better, that's probably what you should be doing.

• 33:42Speaker 04

  I agree.

• 33:42Speaker 03

  And if it doesn't, I don't care who tells you to do it, don't do it. So, um.

• 33:47Speaker 00

  That's good advice, too.

• 33:48Speaker 03

  Laughing a lot for us, music is really big for me. I think when you are in a bad spot, you should match your music with where you are. When you're in a good spot, turn it up. When it's down, just stay with it and it'll pass, everything passes. So I think music was important in our house. Telling the truth about what you feel and talking about it, even when they don't want to. Addison doesn't like it as much. She's much better now. But it was too hard for her to talk about it, but we just kept going because if not, it just builds up.

• 34:18Speaker 00

  Oh yeah, you gotta get it out. Can you talk to me about how it came about that you decided to write the story of you and Nate?

• 34:27Speaker 03

  Cause I was so, and it was early, I was so afraid that we'd forget. Because I was starting to forget him, like it was, the grief was getting in, in the way. And I was like, I gotta write about him. And a lot, I had written, I'd done a, um, what was it called back then, a blog?

• 34:42Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 34:43Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 34:43Speaker 03

  Yeah, and I had started that and then I put one up about the day, you know, when he died. And, and then I started writing and somehow when I wrote the book, then it got, when I was able to be on podcasts and started the grief groups and all that stuff. But, um, I think you keep, you, you stay in what you, what you need. So I was basically helping myself by like talking to other people that were doing it, but not in like a sad dead person. Like in like, tell me what you loved about it.

• 35:11Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 35:11Speaker 00

  Right.

• 35:12Speaker 03

  Like, how lucky were you? Oh my God, that's so awesome.

• 35:19Speaker 05

  Guys, if you know me, you know there's always something going on. Big games, streaming, traveling, making plans with the crew. There's always something on the calendar. So I'm all about getting more out of the things I'm already doing. And that's why I like about being a T-Mobile member. I get America's best network and weekly perks with T-Mobile Tuesdays. Every week, there's something new to check out from savings on movie tickets and streaming benefits to access to unforgettable experiences. And now T-Mobile Tuesdays are available in Spanish, too. Just set your phone to Spanish. I know, easy, right? That's a lot of value on top of a network that already gives you the most. And it's just one of the reasons to switch to T-Mobile. Find yours. Visit tmobile.com/switch.

• 36:05Speaker 05

  Qualifying plan required. Best mobile network in the U.S. based on the analysis by Ookla of speed test intelligence data, 1H 2026.

• 36:12Speaker 02

  This is Iris Palmer from Against All Odds with Iris Palmer. You know that feeling when your skin is just thirsty? Um, excuse me, I need some water over here. That's when you reach for Clinique Moisture Surge, 100 Hour Moisturizer, and let your skin soak it up. It absorbs quickly and gives skin 100 hours of hydration. So it feels fresh, plump and glowing without that heavy or weighted down feeling. It's a lightweight, oil-free gel cream and that refreshing feeling when it melts into your skin, love. And there's some good stuff behind all that moisture, too. Aloe bio-ferment and hyaluronic acid help skin hold on to hydration. So it stays feeling comfortably hydrated.

• 36:53Speaker 02

  And for all my sensitive skin girlies, it's allergy tested, fragrance free and safe for sensitive skin. Check, check and super check. Because honestly, when your skin is well hydrated, you can feel it. Just like that ah feeling when you're thirsty and finally get that tall glass of water. Alive and with plump looking skin, that's an aha. Try Clinique Moisture Surge 100 Hour today at Clinique.com. Feels like moisture surge.

• 37:21Speaker 01

  Coca-Cola. For the big, for the small, the short and the tall. Peacemakers, risk takers. For the optimists, pessimists. For long distance love. For introverts and extroverts. The thinkers and the doers. For old friends and new. Coca-Cola. For everyone. Pick up some Coca-Cola at a store near you.

• 37:51Speaker 06

  If you've been putting off car shopping because it sounds like a whole thing, I get it. Life moves quickly, there's already plenty to do. And personally, I really like when things are clear and easy. So here's a little tip. Buying your car online on AutoTrader makes the whole process way easier. I mean, really. And you don't have to choose between shopping online and going to the dealership. With AutoTrader, you can start online, then head to a dealer for a test drive and finish wherever works best for you. So flexible, so convenient, and honestly, so recommended. And your information stays with you, so you're not starting over every time you take the next step.

• 38:32Speaker 06

  Plus, you're working with local dealers, so there are real people there to help you when you need them. And when you're ready, you can pick up your car or have it delivered. Life just got easier. You're welcome. Buy your car online on AutoTrader, really.

• 38:48Speaker 05

  You know that place you've been thinking about? El departamento con la lavadora y secadora o la casa con patio? That's your Sunday, everyone has one. Para mí, ese sueño no era solo llegar a la Grandes Ligas. It was every early morning, every workout, every swing. Fueron el sacrificio, la pasión y creer en mí. Little by little, my Sunday became today. Encontrar tu próximo hogar funciona de la misma manera. Whether you're buying, selling or renting, Silo has everything you need in one place. Sus herramientas profesionales y aliados de confianza te acompañan en cada paso. So you can move forward with clarity and confidence. Hay algo que sé con certeza. You don't rest on standing still. Tienes que dar el primer paso.

• 39:32Speaker 05

  So don't just keep talking about Sunday. Haz que ese día sea hoy. With Silo, Sunday starts today. Visit silo.com/today.

• 39:47Speaker 04

  So you're on the way, you were on the way to healing.

• 39:50Speaker 03

  Yep.

• 39:51Speaker 04

  When did you finally start getting back out there and dating?

• 39:55Speaker 03

  Like in bed?

• 39:56Speaker 04

  Like do whatever you want to talk about.

• 39:58Speaker 00

  Do you remember?

• 39:59Speaker 03

  Well, you know.

• 40:01Speaker 00

  She slept with her contractor.

• 40:02Speaker 03

  Well, that's a great.

• 40:03Speaker 04

  Wow.

• 40:03Speaker 00

  He did her ba- he did her bathroom and then I said, did he clean your pipes too?

• 40:08Speaker 03

  No, this is terrifying. It's terrible. I hate this guy. I saw him like once, five years ago and he's like, you know, I really didn't want that article. And I was like, well, I'm so sorry for everything.

• 40:16Speaker 04

  Well, you didn't name his name. We don't talk names.

• 40:17Speaker 00

  But you needed that in your life.

• 40:18Speaker 03

  No.

• 40:19Speaker 04

  So yeah, when did you, when did you start to like, okay?

• 40:20Speaker 03

  So I, I know exactly when it happened. Nate had decorated our downstairs bathroom like puka, puka de pepo. It was like yellow and red.

• 40:29Speaker 00

  It was like an Italian Tuscan style bathroom and like a Cape Cod, like beachy house.

• 40:34Speaker 03

  It was like New York. He was like, oh, it's like, it's like, it's like the Upper West Side. Like, I love it. Like the guys come in, it's orange. So we had like orange tiles. And so I remember one day just like laying on the floor and being like, something has to change here. Cause I.

• 40:46Speaker 04

  And how, how far are we removed from his death at this point? Two and a half years.

• 40:50Speaker 03

  We're two years.

• 40:51Speaker 04

  Two years.

• 40:53Speaker 03

  Let me tell you something. You gotta get over some, you gotta get under someone to get over someone.

• 40:57Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 40:58Speaker 03

  Remember that too. And I tell all my widows, I'm like, when you're ready, let's get up on there because if not, you get stuck. And you just, you need to rip it off. You need to, and I, and I'd only, I'll just say it. I'd only had sex with two people um in my whole life.

• 41:13Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 41:13Speaker 03

  One guy, one, one guy in, in college and then Nate.

• 41:17Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 41:18Speaker 03

  So I was like, oh boy.

• 41:19Speaker 00

  You're like.

• 41:20Speaker 03

  But I, but I was.

• 41:20Speaker 04

  Wow.

• 41:21Speaker 00

  I was a very, I was cheering her on from the side.

• 41:23Speaker 03

  Toby's like, be a whore. You're gonna be fine.

• 41:26Speaker 00

  Get it, get it, get it, get it.

• 41:27Speaker 03

  But I didn't know how I was gonna do it. I didn't know what was gonna happen, but I ended up having this guy come to, a friend of ours had a general contractor and he came to, to.

• 41:38Speaker 00

  Fix your bathroom.

• 41:38Speaker 03

  And he fixed, he fixed the bathroom and he fixed me.

• 41:44Speaker 04

  A little remodel, okay?

• 41:45Speaker 00

  It was a gift.

• 41:45Speaker 04

  So that, but did you, did you start dating him or that was just strictly?

• 41:49Speaker 03

  More and you guys know some of them. Let's not talk about those.

• 41:51Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 41:51Speaker 03

  Um, but they were each really important to me along, both, all of them.

• 41:57Speaker 00

  Were wonderful people.

• 41:58Speaker 03

  Wonderful people that I, I needed in some way. And I'm so grateful for all of them. I didn't have any bad experiences.

• 42:04Speaker 04

  Was that scary? Was that scary getting back out in the dating game? Cause like you said, you had only been with two people.

• 42:08Speaker 03

  You know, I.

• 42:09Speaker 04

  And you're a nineteen.

• 42:10Speaker 03

  Three, I got three with the contractor.

• 42:11Speaker 04

  Well, three with the contractor, but getting back out there, like dating's, were you on websites or matching?

• 42:17Speaker 03

  Would you, I, they'd, I'd just give them the phone.

• 42:19Speaker 04

  You were swiping right and all that stuff?

• 42:20Speaker 00

  Oh, we were so excited to be swiping.

• 42:23Speaker 03

  I will tell you.

• 42:24Speaker 04

  Was that exciting? Was that fun to get back into the dating world? No?

• 42:27Speaker 03

  No, no.

• 42:27Speaker 04

  Really?

• 42:28Speaker 03

  It's not fun in the way we do it now. Like.

• 42:30Speaker 00

  Oh my God, remember when you were hanging out with that thirty year old?

• 42:33Speaker 03

  Oh God.

• 42:33Speaker 00

  That was so cool.

• 42:34Speaker 03

  He was like, he was like in charge of like lawn, like lawn sprinkle, sprinklers or something. It was like, I was like, how are we doing with like going to dinner tonight? And he was like, tight. That's okay. We can do Jersey Mike's. Like everything's. But no, I just took it as, I thought of it differently. I didn't think about like trying to find somebody. It was more about just saying like, I'm not dead. Like I gotta keep going. I can't just sit here in the house and wait for someone to walk in. So I knew that I wasn't ready for anything crazy, but I needed to just like have friendship and go have fun and go laugh.

• 43:10Speaker 00

  You were ready for that. You were so ready to have a good time and be light and have, and like kiss somebody and have like an experience.

• 43:18Speaker 03

  Feel something other than sadness. I mean, I think that's the thing that you, you, for me, Nate was such a physical guy. I felt like I was like deprived. Like, like his hugs, I wanted more than anything else. Um, I haven't been, you know, I'm not, I'm not a get around girl, but I do like a hug. I do like sitting next to a man. I do, you know, I.

• 43:39Speaker 00

  We wanna be spooned.

• 43:40Speaker 03

  Yeah, I like that. So that I think I missed more than anything than this idea that I had to go have sex with a bunch of people.

• 43:46Speaker 00

  Right. And you weren't like, oh, I need to get married and have kids. There was no clock ticking for you. You just wanted to have a, somebody to like do life with.

• 43:52Speaker 03

  Yeah. And I had children, so no one ever came into our home.

• 43:55Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 43:56Speaker 03

  So I mean, it was, it's a whole thing. Um, but then I would tell them their stories and they'd be like, well, that's a good one. And I'd be proud.

• 44:02Speaker 04

  How did you navigate the dating scene too? Because I'm sure it would come up. The conversation's gonna be like, okay, you're single. What's your story? You have two kids? And then you gotta come up and talk about this. Did you? Were you forthcoming about where everything was happening, what was happening in your life? Or were you like?

• 44:15Speaker 03

  To who?

• 44:16Speaker 04

  To the guy you're dating, whoever you're dating.

• 44:18Speaker 03

  Oh yeah. No, I wasn't like, I don't, I don't have kids. No.

• 44:21Speaker 00

  I remember.

• 44:22Speaker 04

  You don't have kids.

• 44:22Speaker 00

  I remember there were times when she would come back and tell me, she was like, I think I said it too soon, or I think I said it weird. She'd be like.

• 44:28Speaker 03

  I was like, you wanna see the kids?

• 44:30Speaker 00

  She was like, I was really awkward on the first date. I was like, my husband died and I've got two kids.

• 44:34Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 44:34Speaker 00

  And I was like, oh.

• 44:35Speaker 03

  That's my opener.

• 44:36Speaker 00

  Maybe you don't open with that.

• 44:37Speaker 03

  He died at Skyzone. And everyone was like, oh God, wanna go to bed? Like it didn't work out. Um, that was not hot.

• 44:44Speaker 04

  I think how awkward it would be to start dating again, especially.

• 44:49Speaker 03

  It's awful.

• 44:50Speaker 04

  Cause it wasn't a divorce. It wasn't like, like I'm sure a lot of those divorce people out there who have to get back into the dating game, but when it happens like this, to, to go back out there and, and do that, especially like that first date.

• 45:00Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 45:00Speaker 04

  Like the very first date that you went out on after he passed away.

• 45:04Speaker 03

  Yeah. That's why, and I don't drink ton, but I would always have a drink just cause oof.

• 45:07Speaker 00

  Gotta get a loosey, little loosey goosey.

• 45:09Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 45:09Speaker 03

  Yeah. And it was, it was, I just decided I had to try.

• 45:13Speaker 00

  You did great.

• 45:14Speaker 03

  I do better when I force myself to do things, whether it's comedy, whether it's going with you to Jamaica or going with you guys somewhere or doing something with you guys that you make me do. It's, I need that push. So it's, that's kind of what I worked on. I, I now can do anything. I can say anything, go out. I'm fine. But I, I love love. So I know like, if you've been married a long time, you think like, maybe I'll have a night out. I mean, you'd probably love it.

• 45:41Speaker 00

  Well, Tony's grandmother always used to tell me, there's nothing wrong with going out for a loaf of bread. And I'd always look at her like, a loaf of bread? I didn't know what she was talking about.

• 45:50Speaker 03

  Well, or even just like.

• 45:51Speaker 04

  From an old school.

• 45:52Speaker 03

  I just don't think, I think once you love someone at a certain age, like you're, yeah, it's just, it's much, this is the best. This is the good part.

• 46:00Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 46:00Speaker 03

  The good part is loving someone and you loving them and having kids to, I mean, that's fun. Dating's fine for like thirty minutes.

• 46:07Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 46:08Speaker 03

  I mean, not now. Now I really love a person, but yeah, um, yeah, it's, I wasn't ever feeling that before now. So.

• 46:18Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah.

• 46:18Speaker 03

  So it was a long haul.

• 46:20Speaker 04

  And like for people out there who've gone through divorce, um, or anybody who's gone through it, who's had a death.

• 46:28Speaker 03

  Yep.

• 46:29Speaker 04

  When you start dating again, how were you with the children and the person you were dating? How?

• 46:34Speaker 03

  Nobody, I mean.

• 46:35Speaker 04

  Did, did they get to meet the, the children? I remember my mom was divorced. She used to bring some of these guys. I'd like see them all. Uh, and not that she was dating that many people, but I, I met, you know, five, six of them.

• 46:46Speaker 00

  Oh, okay. Judy Gonzalez. Okay, Judy, get off, man.

• 46:50Speaker 04

  We were single for six years, whatever. Six, yeah.

• 46:54Speaker 00

  Yeah, that's a long time.

• 46:55Speaker 04

  That's not that many guys. Uh, one a year.

• 46:57Speaker 03

  I didn't have the kids. They didn't come to my house.

• 46:59Speaker 04

  They never got to, what was your feelings about that? Yeah.

• 47:02Speaker 03

  I just felt like it wasn't fair to do that. They, I'm an adult. I get to choose. A, a husband is different than a father. They were young. They loved him. I just tried to keep that out of it as much as we could. I just, it wasn't appropriate and they didn't want to. And it, and what's nice though is now I can tell when they're happy and they're so grateful and they love the person. And so it's such a nice change.

• 47:26Speaker 00

  Totally.

• 47:26Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 47:27Speaker 00

  Your kids know too. They're intuitive.

• 47:28Speaker 03

  Well, they're also eighteen and twenty-one.

• 47:29Speaker 00

  Yeah, like bye. I don't care about your opinion anymore.

• 47:32Speaker 03

  But thank God they love it. So it's, it's good.

• 47:34Speaker 00

  Yeah. Can you tell me how you got into your grief counseling? Like the stuff that you guys, for people who are listening, Kelsey, when I tell you she did everything there is to do. Like in the healing process, like anyone can do. You literally did it all. As, as far as going to become a grief counselor and then to be hosting people in your basement and teaching them and working with them through their own grief. I mean, you were like on speed dial for anyone that, whose husband died or wife died within like a fifty mile radius.

• 48:08Speaker 00

  You, and you still are. You are, you have helped so many people go through the process of losing somebody and done it so beautifully. Can you tell, I mean, like, just describe some, like the scene in your basement. Sometimes it would like make me laugh, but in like the most beautiful way that like also makes me feel emotional, but explain what would occur in your basement.

• 48:27Speaker 03

  Well, yeah. And you know, you know grief very well. I think what I realized, cause I was first, cause it was two thousand seventeen, so I didn't know anybody else that had a dead person.

• 48:36Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 48:36Speaker 03

  It was just me and my Superbowl boy dead, you know? And I was just like, this is outrageous. So when people started, um, when I, I wrote the book to remember it. So then that kind of put us in a spot. And I got on some podcasts that were, you know, people started talking and then people started calling. And it turned out like in the South Bay, there was a point where we had like twenty-five widows.

• 48:58Speaker 00

  Wow.

• 48:58Speaker 03

  And I was talking to all of them and I was like, what if we just came down to my basement? I have a, not a big house at all, but we just get cozy. There's carpet. And for four years, every other Tuesday, we would just come and laugh and cry. And people would be like three weeks in or three years in, and the help was like, that what I realized is community carries us. That's it.

• 49:22Speaker 00

  Amen. That's so huge.

• 49:24Speaker 03

  You have to be around people that are experiencing the same thing. So the worst thing is, is when someone that doesn't have a dead person, they'll be like, I'm so sorry. I feel so bad for, and you just hate that person. You're like, get out of here. I hate you. I hate your family. Like I just don't, you know, they'll cry with you and you're like, don't ever, no. So there's things I've learned that we just don't do well with grief.

• 49:47Speaker 03

  You have to laugh, but you have to do it with people that are grieving. You have to, um, you have to just talk about things that you don't wanna talk about. You wanna say, you have to tell the story a thousand times. Because the more time you tell how they died, what it was like, it gets softer every time. Because, but you know, when you first start to tell something sad and you get your eyes.

• 50:07Speaker 00

  Oh yeah.

• 50:07Speaker 03

  Um, and then just having a group of people that were, and we, we do a lot of music.

• 50:12Speaker 00

  Like dancing and jumping.

• 50:14Speaker 03

  Jumping and tapping. And then also just, we start with meditation. So I, meditation's really important because your brain is going, how are we gonna do this? We're never gonna make it. Oh my God, they're dead. Oh my God. And so meditation kind of slows you down. And when you do it in a group, there kind of feels that dispensa feeling of like, and so we just. Like, and, and we laugh a lot. I mean, I think, what do I say? Humor.

• 50:39Speaker 04

  That's the ultimate healing, is laughing with everything.

• 50:41Speaker 03

  I mean, we basically, yeah. Humor heals.

• 50:43Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 50:43Speaker 03

  And that's so we say awful things about the people.

• 50:46Speaker 00

  Oh, it's so funny. Well, I used to do that anyway with Nate.

• 50:49Speaker 03

  Yeah, and you do it with me too. Yeah, like, I think that's what

• 50:52Speaker 00

  I believe he wasn't all that great.

• 50:53Speaker 03

  Yeah, she was like, do you remember?

• 50:54Speaker 00

  He was an idiot.

• 50:55Speaker 03

  Was he really making that much fun?

• 50:56Speaker 04

  Well, you guys used to get into some pretty good fights.

• 50:57Speaker 03

  Oh, well, he drove, because he was, he was, because he wouldn't stop drinking and dancing.

• 51:02Speaker 00

  He was, could not stop drinking and dancing.

• 51:04Speaker 03

  And I always had to drive home.

• 51:05Speaker 04

  Having a good time, just having, having a fun time.

• 51:07Speaker 03

  He'd be like, I'm so sorry.

• 51:08Speaker 04

  And you didn't really, how have you changed for the better? Through, through this whole thing? Cause before, we, we've talked about this, like, you were a little bit of a, more on the conservative side.

• 51:19Speaker 03

  Because she had to be.

• 51:20Speaker 00

  Had to be.

• 51:20Speaker 04

  You didn't want to have, you didn't want to party too much, you didn't want to, yeah.

• 51:23Speaker 00

  You were about to say she wasn't fun.

• 51:25Speaker 03

  That's true. He didn't like me that much.

• 51:26Speaker 04

  Did I say that? I didn't say that.

• 51:27Speaker 00

  You said it with your eyes.

• 51:29Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 51:29Speaker 04

  You weren't the most fun.

• 51:31Speaker 03

  No, because I was always afraid he was gonna die. No lie.

• 51:34Speaker 00

  She was always trying to keep him in sort of these, like, confines, because she, he could always, he always went, took it too far.

• 51:41Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 51:42Speaker 00

  And that was like, you know.

• 51:43Speaker 04

  Well, since his passing and, and the process of healing and everything, you have become almost unrecognizable to your old self.

• 51:52Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 51:52Speaker 04

  Honestly.

• 51:52Speaker 03

  Oh, no, I, I mean, it's a whole thing.

• 51:54Speaker 04

  The way you dress, from the way you act, from the stuff you do, like, everything. The, the freedom you have when you travel, like,

• 52:00Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 52:01Speaker 04

  You're like, let's fucking go, you know?

• 52:03Speaker 03

  You helped me with travel. I used to be scared, but when I, when I got to go with you guys and you took care of my kids and everybody was kind of working as a community, yeah, like, I wasn't so afraid.

• 52:14Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 52:14Speaker 03

  Because you guys had your eyes on my kids also. So I wasn't feeling like a scene, like a single mother. I didn't ever feel that way, basically.

• 52:23Speaker 00

  Mm-hmm. So good.

• 52:24Speaker 03

  Because of you guys and some people in my neighborhood and, and it's, but yeah, I think Nate was really over here, so I had to be over here, cause that's the only way we could

• 52:33Speaker 00

  There was no room for you to be that fun, like, let loose type of person.

• 52:37Speaker 03

  And I watch you guys and you guys are very, I mean, you're, you're, you used to be more fun, gone, less fun.

• 52:42Speaker 04

  That was fun.

• 52:43Speaker 03

  You, you, you were crazier and you've, so you guys kind of go, when you guys used to party, you used to party.

• 52:49Speaker 00

  Mm-hmm.

• 52:50Speaker 03

  Now it's like, we read a book and we have a nice glass of wine and we sit around, yeah. But I, but you guys have moved that at the same time. Like, you're, you're definitely in a different spot than you were fifteen years ago.

• 53:01Speaker 04

  Yeah. But I guess my point is,

• 53:04Speaker 04

  let me know if I'm saying this the wrong way, and I'm not, I don't want to be insensitive, but like, death can be a positive thing too.

• 53:09Speaker 03

  Oh, my God, I wouldn't change anything.

• 53:10Speaker 04

  Death could be, and, and is that something you tell to yourself and to the widows that you work with? Like, we're gonna spin this and we're gonna make it better. It's like an injury as a football player. It's like, we're gonna come back even stronger. It's gonna be like that injury never even happened.

• 53:24Speaker 03

  You get to tell the story, so you might as well make it a good one. And if you want to go around and talk about how awful it was and how, you know, sick your person was or how, how they died, you can tell that story, but if you say it all the time, you'll start imprint on your brain and then that's the only thing you share. So I just decided to swip, like, switch it over. And I was just like, I'm the luckiest person in the world. I had Nate for twenty-one years. I have his kids, like, how lucky am I? Like, to have that man in my life.

• 53:51Speaker 00

  Grief is proof of love.

• 53:53Speaker 03

  Yes. And then you start telling people in groups that way, like, you're the lucky one. They're like, what do you mean, I'm the lucky, he's dead. I'm like, you're like, did you love him? Did he love you? Was he a great husband? Ah, you're the lucky one. And then people start to get it. Now it gets wild, cause people are now kind of getting it.

• 54:07Speaker 04

  Ah.

• 54:07Speaker 03

  And it doesn't mean you don't have grief moments and that you aren't sad, it's that you're deciding how you're going to move forward.

• 54:14Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 54:15Speaker 03

  You don't get any, like, coins for being sad.

• 54:18Speaker 04

  Mm-hmm.

• 54:19Speaker 03

  Um, and so that's what happens. Most of the time when people call me, probably the first three weeks I get the call, I'm just like, you're gonna be great if you choose to. You're gonna be fine. I promise you. I, I can tell you how we're gonna get here, but you gotta trust me.

• 54:33Speaker 04

  Mm-hmm.

• 54:33Speaker 03

  Um, because the physical stuff in the beginning, you're just, it hurts so bad. Your body feels like it's on fire. And you gotta ride that wave. But then you have to joke and you make fun of them.

• 54:43Speaker 04

  Make fun of them.

• 54:43Speaker 03

  And the best thing you can do is, is make fun of them. And make fun of the whole thing and make a joke about it, because if not, it's too heavy.

• 54:50Speaker 00

  Right. You have to laugh, you have to find the humor in it all. I always say that. We always say that. You have to find humor in everything.

• 54:56Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 54:57Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 54:58Speaker 00

  Even in the most ridiculous, hardest parts of life.

• 55:00Speaker 04

  I think it's probably the most important time to find humor is when it's really, really, really hard, when you're in the biggest fight of your life. Do something stupid.

• 55:07Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 55:08Speaker 04

  And silly and break the ice, like.

• 55:16Speaker 05

  Guys, if you know me, you know there's always something going on. Big games, streaming, traveling, making plans with the crew, there's always something on the calendar. So I'm all about getting more out of the things I'm already doing. And that's why I like about being a T-Mobile member. I get America's best network and weekly perks with T-Mobile Tuesdays. Every week, there's something new to check out, from savings on movie tickets and streaming benefits to access to unforgettable experiences. And now, T-Mobile Tuesdays are available in Spanish too. Just set your phone to Spanish. I know, easy, right? That's a lot of value on top of a network that already gives you the most. And it's just one of the reasons to switch to T-Mobile.

• 55:58Speaker 05

  Find yours. Visit tmobile.com/switch. Qualifying plan required. Best mobile network in the U.S. based on the analysis by Ookla of speed test intelligence data, one H twenty twenty-six.

• 56:09Speaker 02

  This is Iris Palmer from Against All Odds with Iris Palmer. You know that feeling when your skin is just thirsty? Um, excuse me, I need some water over here. That's when you reach for Clinique Moisture Surge, a hundred-hour moisturizer, and let your skin soak it up. It absorbs quickly and gives skin a hundred hours of hydration, so it feels fresh, plump, and glowing without that heavy or weighted down feeling. It's a lightweight, oil-free gel cream, and that refreshing feeling when it melts into your skin? Love. And there's some good stuff behind all that moisture too. Aloe bio-ferment and hyaluronic acid help skin hold on to hydration, so it stays feeling comfortably hydrated.

• 56:50Speaker 02

  And for all my sensitive skin girlies, it's allergy-tested, fragrance-free, and safe for sensitive skin. Check, check, and super check. Because honestly, when your skin is well-hydrated, you can feel it. Just like that ah feeling when you're thirsty and finally get that tall glass of water? Alive and with plump-looking skin? That's an aha. Try Clinique Moisture Surge a hundred hour today at Clinique.com. Feels like moisture surge.

• 57:18Speaker 01

  Coca-Cola. For the big, for the small, the short, and the tall. Peacemakers, risk-takers. For the optimists, pessimists. For long-distance love. For introverts and extroverts. The thinkers and the doers. For old friends and new. Coca-Cola. For everyone. Pick up some Coca-Cola at a store near you.

• 57:48Speaker 06

  If you've been putting off car shopping, because it sounds like a whole thing, I get it. Life moves quickly. There's already plenty to do. And personally, I really like when things are clear and easy. So here's a little tip. Buying your car online on AutoTrader makes the whole process way easier. I mean, really. And you don't have to choose between shopping online and going to the dealership. With AutoTrader, you can start online, then head to a dealer for a test drive, and finish wherever works best for you. So flexible, so convenient, and honestly, so recommended. And your information stays with you, so you're not starting over every time you take the next step.

• 58:29Speaker 06

  Plus, you're working with local dealers, so there are real people there to help you when you need them. And when you're ready, you can pick up your car or have it delivered. Life just got easier. You're welcome. Buy your car online on AutoTrader. Really. You know that place you've been thinking about? El departamento con la lavadora y secadora, o la casa con patio? That's your Sunday. Everyone has one. Para mí, ese sueño no era solo llegar a la grande liga. It was every early morning, every workout, every swing. Fueron el sacrificio, la pasión y creer en mí. Little by little, my Sunday became today. Encontrar tu próximo hogar funciona de la misma manera.

• 59:11Speaker 06

  Whether you're buying, selling, or renting, Seal has everything you need in one place. Sus herramientas profesionales y aliados de confianza te acompañan en cada paso.

• 59:21Speaker 04

  So you can move forward with clarity and confidence. Hay algo que sé con certeza. You don't reach home standing still. Tienes que dar el primer paso. So don't just keep talking about Sunday. Haz que ese día sea hoy. We see it, Sunday starts today. B C CLO dot com slash today.

• 59:43Speaker 04

  You're in a new relationship now?

• 59:45Speaker 03

  Well, I want to talk about how we got there.

• 59:47Speaker 04

  Oh, we're talking about how we got there?

• 59:48Speaker 03

  Yeah, I want to talk about

• 59:49Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 59:50Speaker 03

  How he walked into my room.

• 59:51Speaker 00

  Well, I'm in love, Tony's in love, you're in love, no, just kidding. But we love this guy.

• 59:55Speaker 03

  I do too.

• 59:56Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 59:56Speaker 00

  You found someone really special. Can you talk about, because this story is so crazy. I think it's so crazy, but you, you, please tell the story of how you met.

• 1:00:04Speaker 03

  So I have this group of, and there's a, and everybody's hot. It's like the hot widows, you know? And I don't know if you just haven't eaten after, like, you know? You're like, I can't buy anything. But they're just a great group of people. And so one, one day, it was mostly women, because guys, of course, die more than women, because they leave us to do everything again.

• 1:00:25Speaker 03

  But so it's a bunch of

• 1:00:26Speaker 04

  Play your cards right, honey.

• 1:00:26Speaker 03

  It's a bunch of women, and there's like three guys.

• 1:00:31Speaker 03

  And some, one of them must have talked to my friend. I'm not going to say his name, just because I didn't ask him if I could.

• 1:00:38Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:00:39Speaker 03

  And so he, supposedly, one of our guy friends was like, hey, you should come to this meeting, you know, we, they, we go every Tuesday, and it really helped me, and I was in a really bad place, and I think you'd like it. And he was about a year and a half out from his wife passing from glioclo, glioclo, I can't ever say it, glioblastoma.

• 1:00:57Speaker 00

  Glupusoma.

• 1:00:58Speaker 03

  And so everyone comes in, we come in, into the kitchen, and you guys know my kitchen, and everyone gets tea, and everyone's laughing and talking. That's how we start upstairs with tea and music on. And he comes in, and he like walks in, he's like six, five. My look, you know, bald. And he walks in, and he was like, oh, hi, Kelsey, so nice to meet you. Nate said I should, Nate said I should come. And I was like, what? I was like, what? I didn't even know who he was. And he was like, Nate said I should come to this group. And it took me like thirty seconds to realize that there's another guy in our group that had told him about it. He wasn't there yet. That's who he was talking about. I literally thought to myself, he sent me.

• 1:01:40Speaker 04

  That's crazy.

• 1:01:41Speaker 00

  He sent me a man.

• 1:01:42Speaker 03

  He sent me.

• 1:01:43Speaker 04

  Oh, he did.

• 1:01:43Speaker 03

  And I knew, I knew the minute I met him. I looked at him, and I was like, oh, shit.

• 1:01:49Speaker 00

  You're kidding me.

• 1:01:50Speaker 03

  It felt different than every other man I'd met.

• 1:01:53Speaker 00

  Wow.

• 1:01:54Speaker 03

  It was, I mean, it's cheesy, but it was like home. It was like, I felt like

• 1:01:57Speaker 00

  Familiar.

• 1:01:58Speaker 03

  Ah, you're, you're

• 1:01:59Speaker 00

  Finally.

• 1:02:00Speaker 03

  Easy, you're kind, and he is the kindest.

• 1:02:02Speaker 00

  Kindest.

• 1:02:03Speaker 03

  But

• 1:02:03Speaker 04

  Very good man.

• 1:02:03Speaker 03

  Very fun. And yeah, it's been a real gift. And I, I prayed that when my kids would get, go to college, like I would have someone. I don't want to be just like sitting in my house. And so it's been

• 1:02:15Speaker 00

  A gift.

• 1:02:16Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's been over a year, and it's wonderful.

• 1:02:17Speaker 00

  It's over a year, and you, you share in common, I mean, like

• 1:02:21Speaker 03

  When he knows him.

• 1:02:22Speaker 00

  Both, both losing people. And you know what that feels like, to find somebody who's been through what you've been through, and to be open about it with each other, and be able to speak about the person you lost openly, and have it not be awkward. I mean, like, what a gift to have found somebody that you both are so comfortable with in that sense.

• 1:02:39Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:02:39Speaker 00

  And then somebody that we like, not to be selfish.

• 1:02:42Speaker 04

  Well, that's important, too.

• 1:02:43Speaker 03

  It was really important. And we were scared about that for a long time.

• 1:02:46Speaker 04

  But that's something that goes, it's totally underrated, that people need to know. Find somebody that your friends like and your family like.

• 1:02:52Speaker 00

  For the love.

• 1:02:52Speaker 04

  If they don't like them, trust them.

• 1:02:53Speaker 03

  I agree.

• 1:02:54Speaker 04

  Because they have no dog in that race.

• 1:02:55Speaker 00

  That's actually true.

• 1:02:56Speaker 04

  I'm, I'm so big on it. Like, look, if your mom, or your dad, or your best friend is like, I don't know about that person, trust them, believe in them.

• 1:03:02Speaker 03

  It's true.

• 1:03:02Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:03:03Speaker 03

  Because you're desperate when you're desperate. So if your friends like them, which nobody liked any of my friends until here. But it, it's, it's easy now.

• 1:03:11Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:03:11Speaker 03

  It's so easy.

• 1:03:12Speaker 00

  It's so easy.

• 1:03:13Speaker 03

  You brought the TV.

• 1:03:13Speaker 04

  What, what, what do you think about the, the stuff that you went through with Nate? Relationship advice here? I want to hear it from you. That you, stuff that maybe you look back and you go, you know what, I probably did that wrong when I was with Nate, that you take into this relationship now.

• 1:03:28Speaker 03

  Oh, I'm not, I'm not mean. I'm not mean. I was mean to Nate. I mean, I took him down.

• 1:03:35Speaker 04

  Critical, you can be critical or something.

• 1:03:36Speaker 03

  Critical, I mean, I just was like, what in the world are you, like, I was just hard. I was, I was scared. I was, you know, he played football for six years, but he was always like, just barely making it. And then he went back to get his masters, and that, we just had, I didn't

• 1:03:50Speaker 00

  Living on the edge a lot.

• 1:03:51Speaker 03

  Yeah, I was like, how are we going to do this out here? You know, it just, he, he had a big, I just never, I, I always felt safe with our love, but I didn't feel safe with like his choices sometimes.

• 1:04:02Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:04:03Speaker 03

  Not bad, but he'd like buy some type of thing down in Long Beach, and it ends up being like run by a gang. And I'm like, oh, well, that's unfortunate, because that was, you know, me, it's just like little things like that. Or he would accidentally just get to, you know, he'd be like, I've got to stay at the Consellises, and I'd be like

• 1:04:18Speaker 00

  He was impulsive.

• 1:04:19Speaker 03

  Yeah, and he just loved, and if I would have been too, if I died at forty-two. So looking back, if I think of it for him, if I was going to die at forty-two

• 1:04:26Speaker 00

  You would have done it like him.

• 1:04:27Speaker 03

  In front of my kids, I would go, I would buckle down. I'd be like, let's freaking go. Because why would you tiptoe when you only have six years left? So in my mind, I think he was throttled down because he knew he was going out.

• 1:04:41Speaker 04

  But, but your critical takes on him.

• 1:04:44Speaker 03

  I'm very critical.

• 1:04:44Speaker 04

  You have learned now with the person you're with now, that, okay, just let it, let it breathe a little bit, let him

• 1:04:49Speaker 03

  Well, I also feel safe with him.

• 1:04:51Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 1:04:51Speaker 03

  He is the most aware and kind. And, and they're totally different, but they also have like a really kindness about them. It just, Nate had a throttle that

• 1:05:04Speaker 03

  the person I'm with now is just calm and easy, and he's, he's more like, what, what do you need? And I'd be like, Nate, come back. Like, you know, so it was just, I just, and I also don't ever want to be, we're not married. We don't have kids together. I don't want to nag. You nag when you have kids, and you nag, but I don't, there's no reason for us to argue.

• 1:05:26Speaker 00

  And maybe Nate really did send him.

• 1:05:27Speaker 03

  Of course he did. Of course he did. He would have loved him.

• 1:05:32Speaker 00

  Oh, yeah, they would have been buddies.

• 1:05:33Speaker 03

  Slow talking.

• 1:05:35Speaker 00

  Totally.

• 1:05:35Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:05:36Speaker 00

  He'd been right in the mix with Tony and Nate.

• 1:05:37Speaker 03

  Yep, yep.

• 1:05:38Speaker 00

  And it would have been great.

• 1:05:39Speaker 03

  I was just, I mean, I really have prayed, you are always going to be, you always are helpful. You're like, I like him, and I'm like, God, that's really nice of you to do that. But I really wanted someone that you really liked.

• 1:05:48Speaker 00

  Oh.

• 1:05:49Speaker 03

  Because if you didn't, it was going to be like, and it's weird that you knew him too, which is like, there was like little hints around the way that, yeah, it's, it's a miracle. I mean, for all of us that have had someone die, and then you find someone again, it's, you literally are like, thank you.

• 1:06:04Speaker 00

  You are, you are such a bright light, and you are glowing from the inside out. You have, I'm not joking you, from, I mean, just like on a regular basis, you just keep getting, like, getting better. I mean, like, I thought for sure after the kids left, you'd go down. I mean, turns out you're like, I actually love this. Who knew? The kids are thriving, I'm thriving alone in my house. And I am just so proud of you, and I'm so like inspired by you on a regular basis. And good God, we're about to enter a total new chapter together.

• 1:06:33Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 1:06:34Speaker 00

  As empty nesters, and you in a relationship, and it's going to be better than ever. Life just keeps getting better.

• 1:06:40Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:06:40Speaker 00

  For all of us.

• 1:06:41Speaker 03

  There's nothing to really be afraid of. You just got to do the work, and just, just keep choosing that, like, this is going to be, I'm going to, I'm going to have the best of this time I have here.

• 1:06:50Speaker 00

  Can you believe that leading up to this horrible thing that happened to you, like you had never, I mean, you were just at, you, you were just complaining in that, almost like two days prior to like never having gone through anything crazy, or anything serious? And then boom, life shows up, and the thing that you think that you'll never, you can never overcome, that you'd never be able to get through, that you'd never, you go and do the thing, you overcome it. You not only overcome it, but you become better for it, better than you even ever expected. I mean, that in and of itself is really the most beautiful gift that you can get from grief.

• 1:07:26Speaker 03

  Yeah, and not be scared anymore. Because if the worst thing can happen, and you still are joyful, you're okay.

• 1:07:32Speaker 00

  You're not afraid of anything.

• 1:07:34Speaker 03

  No, not anymore, especially when your kids get old enough. I think there's a, a point where you go, okay, like, I've done my part, so I, I have a little more freedom, so watch out.

• 1:07:43Speaker 00

  Watch out, baby.

• 1:07:44Speaker 03

  See you on the dance floor.

• 1:07:46Speaker 00

  See you on the dance floor. Quotes by Kelsey Tidic. See you on the dance floor.

• 1:07:51Speaker 03

  Well, you guys have seen me on the dance floor, and that's

• 1:07:53Speaker 04

  Get it?

• 1:07:54Speaker 03

  Maybe we need to work on that next.

• 1:07:56Speaker 00

  See you on the dance floor.

• 1:07:57Speaker 03

  See you on the dance floor. Peace.

• 1:08:00Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:08:00Speaker 03

  Thank you. I love you guys.

• 1:08:02Speaker 00

  Thank you for being here, always.

• 1:08:03Speaker 03

  Literally, onto all the world that listens, you guys are the best. Like, I wouldn't have survived it. Honest to God, Nate's very happy.

• 1:08:11Speaker 00

  Oh, he's so happy and proud of you.

• 1:08:13Speaker 03

  Yes, no, thank you, guys. It means a lot.

• 1:08:15Speaker 00

  We love you. Thanks for being here.

• 1:08:23Speaker 00

  Honey, Felipe sent another photo. From Argentina? How? With T-Mobile, of course. Mira, he's video calling us. Hola familia, did you get my photos? We did. They're so pretty. Here to share every moment with T-Mobile.

• 1:08:37Speaker 06

  Enjoy data roaming at no extra charge in twenty-one Latin American countries. Switch now on the T-LIFE app or T-Mobile dot com slash conecte.

• 1:08:45Speaker 06

  Qualifying plan required. Not for extended international use. You must reset in the U.S. and primary usage may occur in our network. Visit T-Mobile dot com. Hola, es Mister Monopoly. Has you ever dreamed of winning fifty thousand dollars for the initial payment of a house? Or a gift charity of the year? Monopoly is back at McDonald's. And those are some of the prizes you could win. Hope for your own. No need to buy fifty states of the United States and DC. Eighteen years or more. Consult the regulations in PlayatMCD dot com and PlayatMCD dot com diagonal A M O E for information about playing without a purchase by mail until November 2. The Chance Card Game ends on August 8. The game ends on November 22, 2026. Details of the prizes in the regulations. Monopoly is a registered house. If you've been putting off car shopping because it sounds like a whole thing, I get it.

• 1:09:27Speaker 06

  Life moves quickly, and I really like when things are clear and easy. So here's a little tip. Buying your car online on AutoTrader makes the whole process way easier. Really. Start online, then head to the dealer for a test drive, and finish wherever works best for you. Your information stays with you, and you're working with local dealers, so real people are there to help. So flexible, so convenient, so recommended. Buy your car online on AutoTrader, really.