Our Meet Cute, Dolly Parton’s Relationship Legacy and the Rules of Marriage | No Safe Words with October and Tony Gonzalez!

Let’s get into it! Tony and Tobie kick things off by letting you into their world; from their similarities and differences to the story of how they first met at Dennis Rodman’s bar… while Tobie had a boyfriend. They also pay tribute to Dolly Parton, reflecting on her decades-long marriage to Carl Dean and how the couple managed to balance love, independence and life in the spotlight. Tony and Tobie explore whether being opposites can actually make a relationship stronger, and get surprisingly candid about what happens when “till death do us part” becomes a reality. Finally, they break down their own “rules” of marriage, the boundaries and habits that have worked for them, and what they believe has helped their relationship last more than 20 years. It’s love, marriage, death and Dennis Rodman. No topic is off-limits, and there are definitely no safe words. See omnystudio.com/listener https://omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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• 2:38Speaker 03

  Okay, well, welcome, everybody, our first episode of No Safe Words. This is exciting. Are you excited to be here with me?

• 2:44Speaker 04

  Yeah, this is so cool.

• 2:46Speaker 03

  Hanging out with me even more now that we're, you know, we have 20 years of marriage and now we're doing a podcast together.

• 2:52Speaker 04

  Well, we've been talking about doing this for a long time.

• 2:54Speaker 03

  We have been talking.

• 2:55Speaker 04

  And people are like, you know, a lot of people have podcasts nowadays, right?

• 2:59Speaker 03

  I know, but I think what makes us-

• 3:00Speaker 04

  What do we offer? What's different about us? What is it? What do you think?

• 3:04Speaker 03

  Well, we've been married for, since the 1800s, so that helps.

• 3:08Speaker 04

  A long time.

• 3:08Speaker 03

  We have a lot of experience under our belts. I mean, there's a lot of experts out there, but what gives you more expertise than actually living through the hardship, right?

• 3:16Speaker 04

  Yeah, going through some hard shit.

• 3:17Speaker 03

  In my opinion.

• 3:18Speaker 04

  Uh, yeah, and us, like blended family type stuff.

• 3:22Speaker 03

  Blended families.

• 3:23Speaker 04

  I have an older son.

• 3:24Speaker 03

  That's right.

• 3:25Speaker 04

  25 years old.

• 3:26Speaker 03

  We helped raise my niece for 10 years.

• 3:28Speaker 04

  Niece for 10 years.

• 3:29Speaker 03

  Two kids of our own who are getting older and about to leave the nest.

• 3:33Speaker 04

  Yep.

• 3:34Speaker 03

  A lot of experiences. And we're gonna have a lot of people on our podcast that are going through similar things, different things. People that we can sort of get advice from on marriage, sex, blended families, like we said, divorce, new, new jobs, new careers, and relationships, like just finding their way and figuring out like what path to take in life and what has worked for them. So that, you know, maybe our listeners can sort of take those pieces of advice and apply them to their own lives. Or not feel so left alone at the end of the day, which is, you know, what we're all hoping to do is feel like we are not alone out on a boat by ourselves.

• 4:10Speaker 04

  So we're not experts, but-

• 4:12Speaker 03

  Yeah, let's make that clear.

• 4:13Speaker 04

  Not experts, but-

• 4:14Speaker 03

  That we are not experts.

• 4:14Speaker 04

  Been through some shit.

• 4:15Speaker 03

  Been through some.

• 4:16Speaker 04

  And we, I've read a lot, we've read a lot of books on this stuff, too. I've read books on-

• 4:19Speaker 03

  God, have you read books? You've read so many books.

• 4:21Speaker 04

  Why you gotta say it like that?

• 4:22Speaker 03

  I mean, like, there's just a lot of, there's a lot of self-help books in our library when I look at, when I look at it.

• 4:28Speaker 04

  I love a self-help book.

• 4:29Speaker 03

  I admire.

• 4:30Speaker 04

  Self-help books are great.

• 4:31Speaker 03

  I mean, you could, you could potentially be like a Dr. Phil at this point.

• 4:34Speaker 04

  No, no, no, no.

• 4:36Speaker 03

  I mean, I'm giving you a lot of credit, but like, you know.

• 4:39Speaker 04

  Just because you read the books, though, it doesn't mean anything.

• 4:41Speaker 03

  Right, you can just regurgitate, regurgitate somebody's, you know, experience or information, but like, in this podcast, we get to like, talk about our own personal lived-in experiences.

• 4:50Speaker 04

  Yeah, which is great. Yeah, well, we'll see how it goes. See if they like it.

• 4:54Speaker 03

  It's gonna be great, honey. And we have great guests, so it's gonna be really exciting, really fun. But so like, what's going on in our lives right now? What would you say is like, at the tippy-top of like, what is happening in the Gonzalez household? I'd say-

• 5:07Speaker 04

  Go ahead. What do you, what would you say?

• 5:09Speaker 03

  I'm really proud of you. I wanna, I wanna say that you're making a short film.

• 5:12Speaker 04

  Oh, you were talking about that? I was gonna, well, we already discussed, the kid, our-

• 5:16Speaker 03

  Yes, but-

• 5:17Speaker 04

  Son is leaving the boarding school next week.

• 5:19Speaker 03

  We got, we get into that later, but like, more on like, the radar, like, happening right now, like, in a day. You were shooting a film that you wrote, you produced. You are, I mean, really, this is all you, and I'm, I'm really proud of you.

• 5:33Speaker 04

  Well, thank you. Yeah, yeah, yeah, finally. You talk about a long time coming, but another thing. Uh, yeah, shooting, uh, shooting a short film. It's kind of like a pilot, though, you know? I don't even think I've told you this. Well, I've told you this, we've talked about it. But it's, it's one of those things, like a proof of concept. It's like, okay, you write it, and you say, all right, if we can get the right people involved, would it be something like a streaming service and Amazon or Netflix or HBO, whatever it is? So, yeah, we're gonna shoot that this week, a three-day shoot. It's the first time I've ever been a lead.

• 6:07Speaker 03

  I know. Are you nervous?

• 6:08Speaker 04

  Doing acting for a long time. A little bit, yeah, I am.

• 6:10Speaker 03

  You are.

• 6:10Speaker 04

  I am. But I feel like, uh, you know, because I've been acting such a long time, that, and especially, you know, ups and downs of it.

• 6:20Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 6:20Speaker 04

  The bombing and like, you suck at it because you're just awful at it.

• 6:24Speaker 03

  God, is every actor just, I feel like there's, there's never been an actor in the history of acting that has not been completely brought to their knees in humble disgust of themselves.

• 6:35Speaker 04

  Yeah, well, I'm sure there's a couple.

• 6:36Speaker 03

  Is that true?

• 6:37Speaker 04

  I don't know.

• 6:37Speaker 03

  Or is that my own psycho?

• 6:39Speaker 04

  I bet there's, yeah, there's plenty of them, like you lose, you know, parts and all that stuff. Bombed auditions, yeah, yeah, yeah, but that's-

• 6:46Speaker 03

  Had to do some weird shit for an audition?

• 6:47Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, it's been, it's been-

• 6:50Speaker 03

  It's been, it's been a road for you, and now you've-

• 6:52Speaker 04

  It's one of those things, too. Like, so many times, I've been like, what the hell am I doing? I play football. Like, I feel good. Like, I got a football, I get to talk about football. That's another thing that's coming up, too. Obviously, football season is here, but, um, but yeah. And auditioning, you have helped me audition. That's actually kind of funny.

• 7:10Speaker 03

  What is? You said I'm a terrible person to audition with.

• 7:13Speaker 04

  Awful, awful.

• 7:15Speaker 03

  Well, then, why are you trying to give me credit?

• 7:16Speaker 04

  I will never audition with you again. Like, like you read-

• 7:20Speaker 03

  What do you mean? I'm fantastic.

• 7:22Speaker 04

  Yeah, what do you mean? Like, in what way?

• 7:24Speaker 03

  I'm a great reader, like, I'm a great, like, improviser, actress, like, to work alongside.

• 7:28Speaker 04

  That's part of the problem. That's part of the problem. As you know this.

• 7:33Speaker 03

  What's part of the problem? That I'm so amazing? I'm just kidding. No, what, why?

• 7:37Speaker 04

  We've talked about this before, but the reason I can't, I cannot, the reason I cannot audition with you anymore, reading with me, uh, because if people don't, out there, you don't, you, you, you get, uh, your agent sends you over and says, hey, they want you to read for this part. They want you to audition for this part. And so you have the lines, pages, and there's usually like, uh, two scenes, two, three scenes. And so I work on the scene, put, I'm hours and hours and hours into it, and then we have to say, especially when you live out in Texas, you can't, now you can go and actually pay somebody to, to, to run through the audition for you.

• 8:10Speaker 03

  Right.

• 8:10Speaker 04

  But I used to have to have you do it, as you know.

• 8:13Speaker 03

  Lucky, yes.

• 8:15Speaker 04

  And it was the worst, because I'd be in the middle of a, like, delivering a monologue or saying my line, and you would, you would, you would be looking at me like, cross-eyed, and you'd be shaking your head sometime, involuntary.

• 8:29Speaker 03

  Like, you're not hitting it?

• 8:29Speaker 04

  Yeah, like, no, like, no, no. And you know how hard it is to do something when the person in front of you? And, or I'd get done, we'd get done, and we'd watch the playback, and I'm like, I think I did pretty good, and you'd be like, nah, nah.

• 8:43Speaker 03

  What? I'm an honest, I'm an honest person?

• 8:45Speaker 04

  I don't believe it. And it's-

• 8:47Speaker 03

  I'm realistic?

• 8:48Speaker 04

  Yeah, but it, it's, it's, it's crushing, too.

• 8:50Speaker 03

  It takes you out of it. It takes you out of it.

• 8:52Speaker 04

  Yeah, I'm sorry. And because I, you know what?

• 8:54Speaker 03

  I thought it was helping.

• 8:54Speaker 04

  A lot of it, too, is awful. I'm, I'm not, wasn't good at it.

• 8:59Speaker 03

  So you're saying I was right?

• 9:02Speaker 04

  I guess in a sense, yes, yes. But your your ways of encouraging though, you have no ability.

• 9:06Speaker 03

  To deliver.

• 9:07Speaker 04

  You're not the person who is um like Hercules, we talk about that.

• 9:13Speaker 03

  Yeah, Hercules, Hercules, that's my little baby Hercules.

• 9:15Speaker 04

  Yeah, you're not that, you're not that type of mom, I don't think you're that mom, you're definitely not that type of wife.

• 9:20Speaker 03

  No.

• 9:20Speaker 04

  Like, she is more the realistic side.

• 9:23Speaker 03

  Like, that was god awful.

• 9:24Speaker 04

  The way I grew up, my mother is Hercules, Hercules, Hercules. Like, I'm her baby and I can't do anything wrong, like after every game, if we lost, she'd be like, you well, you did your part, Anthony. And they they need to play better, it's their fault, like it's not your fault.

• 9:38Speaker 03

  I love Judy.

• 9:39Speaker 04

  Oh no, she was the best.

• 9:40Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 9:41Speaker 04

  She was in high school always like, yeah, go out there, you do, you you did great.

• 9:44Speaker 03

  Yeah, but she's also like, she's like, the fix is in, they're all against us, like.

• 9:48Speaker 04

  Her and my grandmother.

• 9:49Speaker 03

  Oh my lord, yes, okay, well, I'm not like that.

• 9:51Speaker 04

  You're opposite, even with our kids, and I think they they have a little bit of trouble with that sometime, because you have to tell.

• 9:58Speaker 03

  The truth.

• 9:59Speaker 04

  Your truth.

• 10:00Speaker 03

  I am the Lorax and I speak for the trees. I feel like it is my purpose in life to give people like the facts, and it's kind of like ridiculous. I don't know what this narcissistic attitude is, or like people need to know the truth about themselves, like who am I? Like, I don't, you're absolutely right, it it should not come out of my mouth, I should not be this way.

• 10:20Speaker 04

  No, you can't help it.

• 10:21Speaker 03

  I can't, it's like in my, I don't know what it is, like, it's how I was born, I mean, even like my my grandmother and everybody says, like, I would call people out as a little kid and be like, I called a woman at three years old that my dad was dating, I looked up at her and I said, you are a yuck. And my dad will never let me forget it, because I was just so judgmental and opinionated, even at that age, it's like.

• 10:40Speaker 04

  I can, I absolutely see where that, yeah, yeah, yeah, it's always been there, and it ain't going anywhere either.

• 10:45Speaker 03

  I know.

• 10:45Speaker 04

  Because we've talked about this, I'm like, can you please just tell me that I did a good job? Can you just say, hey, well, I don't know, just give me something, give me some positive feedback sometime, but you're like, no, I gotta, I gotta tell the truth, I don't, I don't believe it. And I don't, I think you probably shouldn't even turn this audition in.

• 11:03Speaker 04

  This is probably why people.

• 11:05Speaker 03

  Soul crushing.

• 11:06Speaker 04

  Probably why people have always said you guys should do a podcast, because you're so honest, and you just, and you just crush, crush me uh uh at at times. Not all the time, you're very good, but on the opposite.

• 11:17Speaker 03

  What, what does that mean?

• 11:18Speaker 04

  On the opposite.

• 11:19Speaker 03

  So when I compliment, what does it mean?

• 11:21Speaker 04

  It, it, yeah, probably means.

• 11:22Speaker 03

  It means they're in a lie in that motherfucker, I am telling you the truth, like one thousand percent, you know that if I give you a compliment, I mean it with my chest, like I mean it with everything in me, like there's not a speck of a lie. Right? So it's gotta feel good.

• 11:36Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah.

• 11:37Speaker 03

  I don't know.

• 11:37Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, I don't think too, we're not um um, speaking of why, why us, why, why, why would we do a podcast?

• 11:45Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 11:45Speaker 04

  I think because we also are very different in uh in our opinions on our interest. Like you, you, most uh like football wives, like you're not a football wife, you never have been, you could give a shit about football.

• 12:04Speaker 03

  That is different.

• 12:04Speaker 04

  Right, I mean.

• 12:05Speaker 03

  I mean, look, I am very grateful to football, the life that it's given us.

• 12:08Speaker 04

  Of course that.

• 12:09Speaker 03

  I've enjoyed going to all the games, I've had a great time.

• 12:11Speaker 04

  But you don't care about sports, the sports means nothing to you.

• 12:13Speaker 03

  I'm not a sports fan.

• 12:14Speaker 04

  No sports fan, no, nothing like that, the the the stuff we're interested in, like you talked about, so I read, I read, read a lot of, I have, I have read, I've read lately, I've done a while, but like self-help books, you're not reading them.

• 12:25Speaker 03

  No, I read like A Court of Thorns and Roses, I read Smut, I read books that are like, I love historical fiction, but, and I grew up in the music industry, I, my families are, my family's full of musicians and artists.

• 12:37Speaker 04

  You're a musician and artist.

• 12:38Speaker 03

  We could not be more different, you and I.

• 12:39Speaker 04

  Way different, way different, nobody, I can't sing.

• 12:42Speaker 03

  But yet.

• 12:42Speaker 04

  I can't, I can't dance that well, I can't, you can dance, you can.

• 12:46Speaker 03

  Uh, we're just very different.

• 12:47Speaker 04

  You do a lot of stuff, yeah, way very different.

• 12:48Speaker 03

  And yet we came together, back in two thousand, god, when did we meet?

• 12:54Speaker 04

  You like trashy television, you like the Real Housewives, all that stuff, no offense, I'm sure there's a, there's an audience out there, but it's not my favorite thing.

• 13:02Speaker 03

  And yet, we have been married.

• 13:04Speaker 04

  Reality television, you're into that.

• 13:05Speaker 03

  Twenty years, it works really well for us, and let's talk about how we met and why, why, how it all, how it all came to be.

• 13:12Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 13:13Speaker 03

  You want me to open it up?

• 13:13Speaker 04

  Open it up.

• 13:14Speaker 03

  I always say, I was working as a waitress in a cocktail bar, right?

• 13:19Speaker 04

  When you met me.

• 13:20Speaker 03

  When I met you.

• 13:21Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 13:21Speaker 03

  And it's true, I was working at Dennis Rodman's bar in Newport Beach while I was also singing and trying to record an album and get signed to a record label, and I was doing all the Hollywood things, but I needed cash, because I didn't have any parents to help fund the dream, so I was going back and forth, and then I met you in the interim. While I had a boyfriend, which, you know, you asked me out anyways, which was a little shady.

• 13:46Speaker 04

  I, I, no, no, that's not, well, that's not true, I didn't ask you out.

• 13:49Speaker 03

  What were you doing when you asked a girl with with a boyfriend to come and hang out on the Fourth of July?

• 13:53Speaker 04

  I didn't ask you out, I said, I said, hey, uh, you said you have a boyfriend, I said, okay, cool, um, bring him to the party, come both, and I meant that.

• 14:01Speaker 03

  Slick Rick.

• 14:02Speaker 04

  One hundred percent meant that, you were, it was one of those things too, like when we first met each other, we, the conversation was always there, and I think that's.

• 14:09Speaker 03

  That's true.

• 14:09Speaker 04

  That's like anybody's relationship, you should always, always um, the conversation should come real easy, real naturally, like I've known this person for a long time.

• 14:19Speaker 03

  It was just easy with you, I met you and in a loud club somehow, you and I were like, hey, so what's going on? And I was like, kind of caught off guard by you, you definitely like drew me in because you were different, there was something different about you. You didn't seem like, uh, I obviously didn't know that you played sports, I assumed you did because you were large, but then, you know, everybody came up and they're like, who, you know who that is? That's uh the tight end from the Kansas City Chiefs, and I said, well, that, that tracks.

• 14:45Speaker 04

  The Chiefs, huh?

• 14:47Speaker 03

  You like to pretend that I knew who you were, I did not know who you were.

• 14:50Speaker 04

  No, no, I'm saying, I'm saying you didn't know who I was.

• 14:53Speaker 03

  I didn't, I didn't.

• 14:53Speaker 04

  You're like, the Chiefs, what is that, uh, was that a, uh, you're, you know, you're Native American?

• 14:59Speaker 03

  Indian chief? What were we talking about? Is this a relative?

• 15:02Speaker 04

  I'm Native American.

• 15:03Speaker 03

  No, no, but I I really didn't know who you were, and to be honest, I was like not looking to date an athlete, because the girls that I worked with were like.

• 15:10Speaker 04

  Yeah, but you had a boyfriend anyway, what are you talking about, so that's.

• 15:13Speaker 03

  Well, I was, I would never have been interested in an athlete, yeah.

• 15:15Speaker 04

  An athlete would have been on your.

• 15:18Speaker 03

  Radar.

• 15:19Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, so anyways.

• 15:20Speaker 03

  You know what, my, my boyfriend would always say to me, my boyfriend would always say to me, every time I'd go to work, he'd go, I hate that job, you know, you're just gonna meet, you're probably just gonna meet with some rich guy and he's gonna, you know, whisk you away and I'll never see you again and.

• 15:34Speaker 04

  Well, this is awkward.

• 15:35Speaker 03

  This is, I don't know, I'm like, hell, I'm.

• 15:37Speaker 04

  No, it wasn't, well, it wasn't like that, though.

• 15:38Speaker 03

  No, it really was, it did not go down like that.

• 15:40Speaker 04

  Yeah, because we met, we met, I gave you my phone number, I said, come to the party, you never called.

• 15:46Speaker 03

  I didn't, because I am a loyal, loyal person.

• 15:50Speaker 04

  Which is good, which totally cool.

• 15:51Speaker 03

  Which you admit that that was like.

• 15:53Speaker 04

  I think it was a great thing, because.

• 15:54Speaker 03

  If I would have called, you would have been like, this shady ass.

• 15:57Speaker 04

  Because I had done that, that, not in method, I kind of wanted to call it like it was a game or anything, but I've done it, and then they come and then whatever.

• 16:09Speaker 04

  So you didn't come, uh, you didn't come to the party or like that, but I would, every time I would go in there, we would have great conversation and all that type of stuff, right? I mean, it was, it was always easy, um, and then, uh, I got it, people always recognize us as, oh, they're always talking, but nothing.

• 16:25Speaker 03

  We were always flirting.

• 16:26Speaker 04

  Always flirting.

• 16:27Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 16:27Speaker 04

  And so my buddy, uh, who was Dennis's partner, this guy named Dougie, God rest his soul, uh, but Dougie called me up one day, I was up in LA at a, at a club with my friends, my boys.

• 16:40Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 16:40Speaker 04

  And uh, he says, hey, man, that girl that you're always talking to, uh, Toby, she uh, she's, she broke up with her boyfriend, and I'm like, really? Okay, and so I turned around, I look at all my boys and I'm like, let's go, I'm going, and it's an hour away, hour, hour and ten minutes away. And we came down, I drove all the way down, went to the club, as soon as I was pulling up, you were in the, you were in the parking lot.

• 17:06Speaker 03

  In the valet.

• 17:06Speaker 04

  Getting your car in valet, because the club had gotten out early, and that's the first time, and then I asked you out, would you like to go out on a date now, now that it's, I heard, I heard you broke up with your boyfriend, so.

• 17:16Speaker 03

  I know, you were pretty, that was pretty cute, you were like, I actually drove all the way down here to ask you out, and I was like, how do I say no to that?

• 17:22Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah.

• 17:23Speaker 03

  And I wish I could say that the rest was history, but it really wasn't, you and I like had a very casual, fun relationship for like a year or two, off and on.

• 17:31Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 17:31Speaker 03

  Yeah, I mean, you were always playing Kansas City.

• 17:34Speaker 04

  More than that, it was a couple of years.

• 17:35Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 17:35Speaker 04

  It was really a couple of years, so, so yeah, we, we started dating.

• 17:38Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 17:38Speaker 04

  Started hanging out, and then uh, and then it, I had to go to football season, and then as soon as I go to football season, you'd get back together with, the first time, I think you got back together with your boyfriend.

• 17:47Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 17:48Speaker 04

  And then, but then you broke up.

• 17:49Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 17:50Speaker 04

  Um, I came back home, not right away, I remember I came in and I, I remember I saw you, and I went in for like, hey, huh, and I tried to go in for like a little, little kiss hello, and you're like, like, turned your head and everything.

• 18:01Speaker 03

  I gave you the cheek, I said, swipe.

• 18:03Speaker 04

  And I was like, oh.

• 18:04Speaker 03

  And that's how you knew I had a boyfriend?

• 18:05Speaker 04

  That's how I knew you had, that's how I knew you had a boyfriend.

• 18:07Speaker 00

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• 19:28Speaker 05

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• 20:09Speaker 05

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• 20:26Speaker 06

  You know that place you've been thinking about? El departamento con la lavadora y secadora, con la casa con patio? That's your Sunday. Everyone has one. Para mí, ese sueño no era solo llegar a la Grandes Ligas. It was every early morning, every workout, every swing. Fueron el sacrificio, la pasión y creer en mí. Little by little, my Sunday became today. Encontrar tu próximo hogar funciona de la misma manera. Whether you're buying, selling, or renting, Zillow has everything you need in one place. Sus herramientas profesionales y aliados de confianza te acompañan en cada paso. So you can move forward with clarity and confidence. Hay algo que sé con certeza. You don't just stand still. Tienes que dar el primer paso. So don't just keep talking about Sunday.

• 21:12Speaker 06

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• 21:19Speaker 04

  And even then?

• 21:20Speaker 03

  Yeah, and fast forward to now, married 20 years.

• 21:24Speaker 04

  Yeah, 23 years.

• 21:25Speaker 03

  And opposites, opposites attract. Like, we have so much in common, but like, honestly, we're very different. Like, as, when it comes to our personalities. Like, our personalities are so, so, like, very visibly different. If you're just around us for five minutes, you're like, oh, wow, they're very different. But we have the same common interests. I think that that's key. Like, the things we like to do together, the places we like to go, how we like to travel, how we raise a family, like, our morals, all of that is the same.

• 21:51Speaker 04

  Pretty much. Not all the time, but pretty much.

• 21:53Speaker 03

  We're gonna, I don't know, you know, day by day.

• 21:56Speaker 04

  Day by day.

• 21:57Speaker 03

  Dolly Parton, speaking of long marriages, Dolly Parton, my beloved, just my complete spirit animal in every sense of the word. She just passed away, and she and her husband, you know how long they were married?

• 22:09Speaker 04

  How long?

• 22:10Speaker 03

  Sixty years.

• 22:12Speaker 04

  Were they married sixty years?

• 22:13Speaker 03

  Tony. Like, what?

• 22:15Speaker 04

  That's a long time.

• 22:15Speaker 03

  Sixty years, could you imagine?

• 22:17Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 22:18Speaker 03

  I mean, look.

• 22:19Speaker 04

  I didn't know they were married that long. I know he, go ahead.

• 22:21Speaker 03

  Carl Dane. She's been married to Carl Dane for sixty years, and she met him at the Wishy Washy. Did you know that?

• 22:26Speaker 04

  I did not.

• 22:27Speaker 03

  She met him at the Wishy Washy, which is like a laundromat in Tennessee. And she saw him drive by in a pickup, and she said, "That's the man I'm gonna marry." No, he's the only one that didn't stare at her chest when they met, is what I read.

• 22:38Speaker 04

  Really?

• 22:39Speaker 03

  Yeah, she felt like, oh, my gosh, he's actually my, he's actually having a conversation with me and not looking at my titties?

• 22:44Speaker 04

  How could he, how could he not?

• 22:46Speaker 03

  Not, but, but, but, good for him, and look at him.

• 22:49Speaker 04

  Carl Dane.

• 22:50Speaker 03

  Carl Dane. Wow, and I heard that they're complete opposites, just like us. And like, their personalities were very, very different. She said that, you know, he liked to stay home, and he wanted to like, not have anything to do with the spotlight and all of that. And I feel like that's a little bit more your personality, and I'm more like, even though ironically, you are the one mostly in the spotlight, you would prefer to be like, more chill and like, in the background. And in public, you sort of let me take the reins and, you know,

• 23:19Speaker 04

  Sure.

• 23:19Speaker 03

  sort of be the jester of the relationship.

• 23:21Speaker 04

  Well, as we talked about, like, there's opposites in a relationship. And it sounds like that's what it was for them. Like, she was out there doing her thing, and, and for me, it's like, you're more of an outgoing person. You're an extrovert.

• 23:35Speaker 03

  Extroverted extrovert.

• 23:36Speaker 04

  Extroverted extrovert. You gain, I don't mind going to a place. I love it.

• 23:40Speaker 03

  Yeah, you, you get going, you're fun, and you.

• 23:42Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 23:42Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 23:42Speaker 04

  But I'm also like, I don't want to stay out all night. I want to go home.

• 23:45Speaker 03

  And I'm gonna shut it down, have a gal.

• 23:48Speaker 04

  You want to shut it down. Like, you want to stay till the lights come on.

• 23:50Speaker 03

  Yeah, I mean, if it's fun.

• 23:51Speaker 04

  And I, I don't like doing that.

• 23:53Speaker 03

  Why would we, why would we leave a good time? I just don't understand the mentality, but, okay.

• 23:58Speaker 04

  But you, you gain energy from people.

• 24:00Speaker 03

  Yes, fair.

• 24:01Speaker 04

  Um, I think I heard Oprah talk about this, where she said she goes out to these places, and she likes talking to people, but when she gets home, she's exhausted.

• 24:08Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 24:08Speaker 04

  I'm like, that's me, that's me, just like that. I mean, I enjoy it, and all that, but I get home, I'm exhausted. You, you get home, and it's like, should we have another glass of wine? Oh, I'm like, no, I'm going to bed.

• 24:19Speaker 03

  No.

• 24:19Speaker 04

  Like, it's time, I'm tired.

• 24:20Speaker 03

  Go to bed.

• 24:21Speaker 04

  I'm tired, and you need to wind down now, because you're so amped up off of people, so.

• 24:24Speaker 03

  Yeah, I'm like sucking the juice from people, like, the energy, and you're like giving it all away. And you just, you just end up empty.

• 24:32Speaker 04

  Dolly Parton, though, was she, were you a big fan of hers? Were you like, uh?

• 24:34Speaker 03

  Oh, my gosh, nine to five, like, they, look, I wasn't a huge country music fan growing up, but there's a sort of like entity that she remained in my mind and my heart, because she came from nothing, and she built this life for herself, and she was always like, I don't know, she was always beating everybody's idea of her up. Like, everyone just wanted to put her in a box, and she was constantly just outsmarting them, constantly like, just beating them at their own game. She just would make people feel stupid for underestimating her, and I thought that, yeah, she's, she's just such a badass.

• 25:07Speaker 04

  She was funny, like, you always say, what's, what's the one quote you always say?

• 25:12Speaker 03

  Costs a lot of money to look this cheap?

• 25:15Speaker 03

  Love that one. Oh, and there's nothing wrong with getting it nip, tucked, and sucked, is what she would say, too.

• 25:19Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 25:20Speaker 03

  Love it. I love it. I love her whole.

• 25:23Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 25:23Speaker 03

  There, I don't think there's anybody that's passed away ever, or been a celebrity to the extent that she is, that has ever been like adored by everyone, like, worldwide. Like, there's always like, people that are like, I'm not a fan, I'm not a fan. Like, you, you meet anybody in the world, and nobody doesn't love Dolly Parton.

• 25:42Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, and she could do it, like.

• 25:44Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 25:45Speaker 04

  I remember, was that last year or the year before? I remember she was, she had a Dallas Cowboy cheerleading outfit up.

• 25:51Speaker 03

  And she was like damn near eighty.

• 25:53Speaker 04

  At the, at Dallas. And I'm like, what the hell?

• 25:55Speaker 03

  I remember in the living room going like, is that Dolly Parton in a crop top?

• 25:59Speaker 04

  I don't know about this. Yeah, so you had to love her.

• 26:01Speaker 03

  You had to love her. She didn't care. She just went for it. And she would always talk about failure in the coolest way, too, which is like, you know, there's no such thing as failure. She's like, I never feel like a failure. I always feel like I'm learning something when I fail. It's just, anyway, just such an icon, and a marriage that I, I highly admire. Like, I feel like they might have had a couple little breaks in the sixty years they were together.

• 26:24Speaker 04

  I'm sure it was.

• 26:24Speaker 03

  Look, I don't know if she's openly talked about there being breaks, or, you know, affairs or anything, but she alludes a little bit. And I think in sixty years, like, proof that like, you know, phases of relationships and working hard at the relationship is something that she really, obviously fought for.

• 26:43Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 26:43Speaker 03

  Both of them, and ended up staying together. I mean, until Carl's, Carl passed away, maybe a year and a half before her, and then she came right after.

• 26:51Speaker 04

  He, he passed away a year and a half before?

• 26:53Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 26:54Speaker 04

  Really?

• 26:54Speaker 03

  Something like that, mm-hmm.

• 26:56Speaker 04

  I had read somewhere that, um, when you're married over twenty years, uh, if your, one spouse dies, the other spouse dies within six months to a year, a year and a half or something like that?

• 27:07Speaker 03

  You wish.

• 27:07Speaker 04

  I could.

• 27:08Speaker 03

  You don't even know what's about to happen to me. You're gonna be gone, I'm like, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh.

• 27:12Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah. Right now, hell, yeah.

• 27:14Speaker 03

  You just, I'm just kidding.

• 27:15Speaker 04

  But I think, yeah, if you're in your seventies.

• 27:17Speaker 03

  I'm getting a pool boy. I'm gonna live with my girlfriends in a complex. I have a whole plan for when you're gone, but like, I'm gonna be sad, obviously, but like.

• 27:24Speaker 04

  Oh, well, thank you.

• 27:25Speaker 03

  I will mourn, but I, I need, I'm, I have a plan.

• 27:28Speaker 04

  Okay, you have a, you're planning my demise, okay, okay.

• 27:33Speaker 03

  Look, it's typically men die before women. Typically, men die before women, honey.

• 27:38Speaker 04

  No say words, huh?

• 27:39Speaker 03

  I want to make, I want to make, I want to make a plan so that I don't feel so sad. It's like my, my plan to not be depressed and sad and die like a week after you. Otherwise, I probably would, but I want to make a plan in advance. There's like logic to this.

• 27:52Speaker 04

  You seriously have a plan? This is, this is news to me. You have a plan?

• 27:55Speaker 03

  I have a plan.

• 27:57Speaker 04

  Okay, well, I'll try to hang on.

• 27:58Speaker 03

  My girlfriends are aware of it. Don't worry.

• 28:02Speaker 04

  Well, you know, football players, uh, we do die early.

• 28:05Speaker 03

  I know, and I don't like that at all. Don't, don't talk about it. I can't, no. I don't want that to happen. I just know that I need to have a plan in tact so that I don't die a week later.

• 28:13Speaker 04

  Mm-hmm.

• 28:13Speaker 03

  Don't you think that's smart of me?

• 28:14Speaker 04

  Well, yeah, yeah, go ahead.

• 28:16Speaker 03

  You don't care. You'll be gone.

• 28:17Speaker 04

  I'm gone. Seriously, I don't care.

• 28:19Speaker 03

  And don't come back and haunt me.

• 28:21Speaker 04

  I won't haunt you.

• 28:22Speaker 03

  Well, good.

• 28:22Speaker 04

  Yeah, I, I gotta know, what's the plan when I, when I'm dead and gone?

• 28:27Speaker 03

  Well, it's to buy a community, like a Melrose Place-type apartment complex, where all my girlfriends can live in their own places. I want to hire hot.

• 28:35Speaker 04

  Wait, are they gonna be, so their husbands are dead, too?

• 28:38Speaker 03

  All dead. Dead, dead, dead, dead, dead.

• 28:39Speaker 04

  Everybody's gotta die in your, in this scenario.

• 28:41Speaker 03

  I can't have any couples. This is a female-only place where people live. We all have our own apartments, and we have sexy pool boys, like twenty-something, thirty-something pool boys.

• 28:50Speaker 04

  Like a pool in the middle that everybody?

• 28:51Speaker 03

  Pool in the middle that we congregate, a clubhouse where we play like gin rummy, you know, like, all the card games, bingo, I want to karaoke, I'm gonna be like,

• 29:01Speaker 03

  karaoke night, uh, you know, like, I want to be like the emcee of like the fun.

• 29:06Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 29:06Speaker 03

  And then I want to have dance parties, young, cute boys serving us, great food. It's gonna be like a club, but for like the elderly.

• 29:15Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 29:16Speaker 03

  You know what I mean?

• 29:17Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 29:17Speaker 03

  And then if you're tired, you can always go back to your apartment. Like, we're not, you know, everyone can be on their own plan, but there's gonna be like a full agenda of fun every day.

• 29:25Speaker 04

  Really? Okay, okay, well, that's, that sounds like fun.

• 29:28Speaker 03

  Right? Who wouldn't want to sign up for that? I feel like, you know what I mean? We're gonna look forward to like, that phase of our lives, not to you guys dying, but to like, to. This phase of life.

• 29:36Speaker 04

  Well, it sounds like you're looking forward to it.

• 29:38Speaker 03

  No, I just wanna have a plan so I don't

• 29:39Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 29:39Speaker 03

  die a week later.

• 29:41Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 29:41Speaker 03

  That's fair.

• 29:41Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, I get it.

• 29:42Speaker 03

  Cause I will be so sad. I want community.

• 29:44Speaker 04

  Pool boys.

• 29:45Speaker 03

  Love a pool boy.

• 29:47Speaker 04

  Cocktails, margaritas by the pool.

• 29:49Speaker 03

  Totally.

• 29:49Speaker 04

  Type of stuff, so, okay.

• 29:51Speaker 03

  Now you're, now you're getting it.

• 29:52Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 29:52Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 29:52Speaker 04

  I see, I see, I see. I don't, I don't have a plan for your death, but I'm gonna come up with one.

• 29:58Speaker 03

  You should.

• 29:59Speaker 04

  It is gonna be better than that.

• 30:00Speaker 03

  Recommend it. You should.

• 30:02Speaker 04

  I don't know, whatever. You know what I would do? What would I do if you did pass away? What time, uh, let's.

• 30:07Speaker 03

  If I croaked?

• 30:08Speaker 04

  If you.

• 30:08Speaker 03

  What would you do?

• 30:09Speaker 04

  Like at, at sixty-five? We, we got, it's morbid. I don't wanna think about it now. That's, that's, that's.

• 30:14Speaker 03

  No, no, no, that's, that's morbid, but like as a old, as old people.

• 30:18Speaker 04

  As an old person, let's say seventy, seventy, right? You still got some, some good years you left.

• 30:25Speaker 03

  Yeah, I got some juice in the can.

• 30:26Speaker 04

  What would I do? I don't know. I don't think, see, that doesn't sound good to me, like, again, oh, I'm getting my boys, we're gonna live by, you know, by a pool in the middle of a Melrose place. I don't think guys wanna do anything like that.

• 30:37Speaker 03

  No.

• 30:38Speaker 04

  I think as we get older, we, we, we become more isolated. That's what they say.

• 30:43Speaker 03

  That's so sad, and that's probably why you guys die first, honestly, cause you just, the Lord knew that you guys would be no fun if you lasted longer than us.

• 30:49Speaker 04

  Maybe, maybe, um, well.

• 30:52Speaker 03

  It's how it goes.

• 30:53Speaker 04

  I think, I don't know, it's sentimental stuff, but I'd probably go hang out with my kids more.

• 30:56Speaker 03

  No, obviously.

• 30:57Speaker 04

  Did you factor that in?

• 30:58Speaker 03

  Honey.

• 30:58Speaker 04

  Did you think about them?

• 30:59Speaker 03

  Of course. I will spend so much time with the kids, but then I don't wanna be that old lady that's like dependent on my kids for like my happiness. You know how like you get like those old people that are like hanging on for their kids to like invite them somewhere, like waiting for their grandkids to call me, like, I don't.

• 31:13Speaker 04

  That's all, that's all old people. That's what you want, that's what they want.

• 31:15Speaker 03

  I do want that, but I don't want that to be my only source. You know what I mean?

• 31:18Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 31:18Speaker 03

  Doesn't make sense.

• 31:20Speaker 04

  I wanna travel, though. I think I'd travel.

• 31:22Speaker 03

  As an old man trying to walk around, you're not gonna be the same.

• 31:26Speaker 04

  You get on one of those, uh.

• 31:27Speaker 03

  You're gonna have like the little shuffle shuffle.

• 31:29Speaker 04

  I remember my grandmother, we, uh, we'd bring her over to the Pro Bowl, and she was old, um, like in her eighties, eighty, eighty-five, eighty-six, eighty-seven, and she would get on those little tour buses and just go cruise around.

• 31:41Speaker 03

  So cute.

• 31:42Speaker 04

  I could see myself doing something like that.

• 31:43Speaker 03

  Oh, you would be a little like tour bus cruiser.

• 31:46Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 31:46Speaker 03

  Old man.

• 31:47Speaker 04

  Six foot five.

• 31:48Speaker 03

  They're like, who is this?

• 31:49Speaker 04

  Old ass.

• 31:50Speaker 03

  Old as, big ass old man.

• 31:52Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 31:53Speaker 03

  That'd be cute.

• 31:54Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 31:55Speaker 03

  But I hope that you'd find like a little companion to go with.

• 31:58Speaker 04

  Absolutely. Absolutely.

• 32:02Speaker 03

  Yeah, you better wait till my blood goes cold before you find a little companion. I'll come back and honcho ass.

• 32:10Speaker 03

  Just kidding.

• 32:11Speaker 04

  Old people with, uh, with young spouses. How about that? Maybe I've get.

• 32:16Speaker 03

  You're gonna get a young, you're gonna get a young spouse to just nurse you, to just nurse you until your death.

• 32:20Speaker 04

  Huh?

• 32:21Speaker 03

  Nurse you until your death.

• 32:22Speaker 04

  Why not? Why not?

• 32:24Speaker 03

  Get it, honey.

• 32:24Speaker 04

  What do you think about that?

• 32:26Speaker 03

  What do I think about what?

• 32:27Speaker 04

  Think of like old, old men dating, um, young women.

• 32:31Speaker 03

  How young are we talking about? Cause that is weird. But how young are we talking?

• 32:35Speaker 04

  It's Hollywood. We live in LA, like you see it sometimes.

• 32:38Speaker 03

  In her twenties with a man that's about to die is despicable.

• 32:42Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 32:42Speaker 03

  And don't get me wrong, I loved Miss Amanda Nicole Smith. I thought she was a riot, thought she was beautiful, thought she was a lot of great things, but that part kinda nasty.

• 32:52Speaker 04

  I don't think she's doing too much. Are you talking about like the physical side of it?

• 32:56Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 32:56Speaker 04

  I don't think that's, that's happening. Well, who knows? Look.

• 32:59Speaker 03

  Honey, you think, you think, you think he has her there to, to just look at? Just put on a shelf? I don't think so.

• 33:06Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 33:07Speaker 03

  But anyway, I think the age depends, it depends on the age. Like a woman in like in her forties or fifties, okay, fine. But like not any younger than that. If you're like an elderly man, that's just very stranger.

• 33:18Speaker 04

  Okay, okay.

• 33:19Speaker 03

  Yeah, not into it.

• 33:20Speaker 04

  What is the appropriate age difference to, uh, to date?

• 33:24Speaker 03

  Hmm, I don't know. I don't, I don't put a, I think.

• 33:27Speaker 04

  Yeah, you do.

• 33:28Speaker 03

  I think European women are much more mature than American women, so like it's very hard, like the, the guys that I know that date young women, if they're married to a European female in particular, she seems just more worldly, more mature, like they've lived on their own longer, they have more of a, I don't know, different outlook on life. But yeah, it just depends on the person.

• 33:48Speaker 04

  My grandfather, uh, was, I think, twenty-five years older than my grandmother.

• 33:54Speaker 03

  Yeah. My parents are twenty years apart.

• 33:57Speaker 04

  Maybe even more than that, like, like thirty, thirty something years.

• 34:00Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 34:01Speaker 04

  Your, your parents are, yeah, they're.

• 34:02Speaker 03

  Twenty years.

• 34:03Speaker 04

  Twenty years apart, yeah, yeah.

• 34:04Speaker 03

  Insane. It's a lot.

• 34:05Speaker 04

  Maybe it's not that weird.

• 34:06Speaker 03

  I mean, it's not insane, it just depends on the people, like I said, individuals, but it's still, yeah. I don't know. I'm trying to like sing a song from an eighties sitcom and she's looking at me like, he's looking at me like, what the hell?

• 34:17Speaker 04

  Yeah. That's what I always think about when I see that. I'm like, what do they, what do they talk about? What's the, what's the conversation going on?

• 34:23Speaker 03

  I don't think there's a lot of talking happening.

• 34:24Speaker 04

  Yeah, there is. I mean, come on. There, there's gotta be, I mean.

• 34:28Speaker 03

  Yeah, but I don't think that's like what it's based on.

• 34:30Speaker 04

  People always say that too, and I don't think there's a lot of talking, I don't, you know what they're doing. It's like, okay, look, that, that lasts three minutes to an, an hour, most. Okay, so the rest of the time, you're gonna have to talk and like, get along and, I don't know. It's, uh, Aladdin syndrome, maybe. Maybe that's what it is.

• 34:47Speaker 03

  I can show you the world. Yeah, Aladdin syndrome, AKA an older guy who dates a younger woman because he's done everything, seen everything, he needs to date younger because now he can see it through her eyes. Now he can experience everything, you know, brand new again, and you know, feel like he's showing her everything for the first time.

• 35:08Speaker 04

  Yeah, I think that's what it is. I think that's, that's, that's, that's probably what it is.

• 35:12Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 35:13Speaker 04

  What do you think about it?

• 35:14Speaker 03

  If you say so.

• 35:17Speaker 03

  I think it's creepy.

• 35:18Speaker 04

  Okay, well.

• 35:20Speaker 03

  So I think the most interesting part about Dolly Parton's relationship or marriage to her husband is that she chose, you know, consciously chose to keep him out of the limelight. Well, it wasn't just her choice, it was obviously his choice, but what do you think about that? Do you think that that was like smart of him? Do you, do you?

• 35:38Speaker 04

  Well.

• 35:38Speaker 03

  Do you understand why he would do that?

• 35:40Speaker 04

  Yeah, I can understand why. He's probably a shy guy, and he's like, I don't wanna deal with all that Hollywood stuff, and I think that's probably why their marriage maybe lasted so damn long.

• 35:48Speaker 03

  Right.

• 35:49Speaker 04

  Is because he was like, I'm not, I'm not in it for that. Like I, like you said, he didn't, he didn't even look at her boobs, um, from the beginning. So I think he, he, I think he sounds like a guy who was just, look, I love you.

• 36:02Speaker 03

  Right.

• 36:02Speaker 04

  And I'm here for you.

• 36:03Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 36:04Speaker 04

  All that other stuff doesn't matter to me. Uh, and frankly, I don't enjoy it. Like, I don't want, I mean, Hollywood, we, we've been around it. It's a, it's a different, you know, it's a different thing.

• 36:13Speaker 03

  It is a different thing.

• 36:14Speaker 04

  It's a lot of, uh, a lot, a lot of, a lot of fakeness at times.

• 36:17Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 36:18Speaker 04

  Uh, some really sweet people too. I mean, it's just, it's just a whole different world, the entertainment world.

• 36:22Speaker 03

  It is. I also, I, I read somewhere that he went to like one award show with her, and afterwards he was like, I ain't doing this again.

• 36:30Speaker 04

  Really?

• 36:31Speaker 03

  Yeah, and she said, okay. So it was just like one of those things, you know, where it was like, he, he knew that this was just not the life that he wanted to have, and, and to be honest, like what a gift to be able to just walk down the street and go get a Starbucks or, you know, go to a car wash, or, not to say that he's doing any of these things like normal people, but he just you know, had autonomy and like he could just, he could go off on his own and do his own thing without being bothered.

• 36:56Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 36:56Speaker 03

  That's huge.

• 36:57Speaker 04

  That's huge. It's huge, yeah.

• 36:58Speaker 03

  You always say there's like a level of fame that you're so happy you don't have, and like a level that you are happy you have, right? There's like a, there's a certain level of fame that I think obviously Dolly went way past that. She was like one of the biggest superstars in the world, but like, you're so grateful to have your level of fame, which is like, you know, would you say a, a D-less, D-less actor?

• 37:20Speaker 04

  D?

• 37:23Speaker 04

  I'm a D?

• 37:24Speaker 03

  C, C, C-list?

• 37:25Speaker 04

  I don't even know there is such a thing as D.

• 37:27Speaker 03

  Okay, I guess you can't compare it to like, you can't compare it to like an athlete with an actor.

• 37:30Speaker 04

  That's what I'm talking about. This is how it is when I'm auditioning.

• 37:35Speaker 04

  You're in the D-list, aren't you?

• 37:36Speaker 03

  No, no, no, I mean like.

• 37:37Speaker 04

  I can't even get on the C-list? Like, I'm not even average? I'm not even?

• 37:39Speaker 03

  Well.

• 37:40Speaker 04

  I'm not even passing?

• 37:41Speaker 03

  What are athletes? Like the A-list, A-list athletes are quarterbacks, period, end of story. It's only a quarterback, right? Like, so, a B would be like a wide receiver, like a, you know, something like that, and then like, and then tight ends.

• 37:55Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 37:55Speaker 03

  Well, Travis Kelsey's definitely up to you guys' game, let's be real.

• 37:58Speaker 04

  Well.

• 37:59Speaker 03

  Your notoriety, like Kittle and everybody now, that's like, tight end's gotten cooler since you, since you left the game, but yeah.

• 38:05Speaker 04

  Personalities, all, Shannon Sharpe, all of them, got them all. Anyways, uh, what was the question? What'd you, what'd you ask? Did you ask a question?

• 38:11Speaker 03

  Are you, do you think that there's a certain level of fame that's like, you don't wanna get to, just for out of comfortability?

• 38:18Speaker 04

  No, I, I think, you know, you, you wanna get to a point where you, people come up and say hello, that's my fame. Like people say, hey, what's up? Oh, I loved you growing up, or I watched your show, or whatever the hell it is. And that's it. Not even a picture. That's the times, most, and then, all right, take a quick pic, see you later, and that's like one.

• 38:35Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 38:35Speaker 04

  One out of twenty or something.

• 38:37Speaker 03

  Yeah, but you have some weird dudes that have like crushes on you, like weird like, oh, don't even, I've had grown men push me out of the way to get to you.

• 38:43Speaker 04

  That doesn't happen too much anymore. Yeah, it doesn't happen too much anymore, just cause I've been retired so long.

• 38:46Speaker 03

  Doesn't happen as much.

• 38:47Speaker 04

  But I think when you talk about someone like Dolly Parton.

• 38:49Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 38:50Speaker 04

  And that's where her husband, I could see, everywhere she goes.

• 38:54Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 38:54Speaker 04

  It is like, whoo.

• 38:55Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 38:56Speaker 04

  And we've been around people that are that famous, like you just, we, well, I'm, we, uh, we talk about, you know, Dennis Rodman, that's how we met. Uh, I remember going out with him in nineteen ninety-nine, in nineteen ninety-eight.

• 39:08Speaker 03

  At his peak.

• 39:09Speaker 04

  And this was like, poof.

• 39:11Speaker 03

  When he was like dating Madonna and Carmen Electra.

• 39:13Speaker 04

  Well, he wasn't dating Madonna at that time, he was Carmen Electra back then, whatever it was, but I mean, walking down the street one time in Miami.

• 39:18Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 39:18Speaker 04

  We're walking, by the time we got to into the corner, there must have been a hundred and fifty people behind us.

• 39:23Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 39:24Speaker 04

  Just Piper, little, little mice, rats, I don't know what that story, it was mice or rats, whatever it was, uh, following him.

• 39:31Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 39:31Speaker 04

  And like, or we'd, as soon as he'd walk into the club, the door would just get slammed, so that type of celebrity.

• 39:36Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 39:37Speaker 04

  That's ridiculous.

• 39:38Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 39:38Speaker 04

  I don't think, nobody wants that. I don't think that's good for anybody's psyche, um, and that's where I think Dolly Parton was, like anywhere she goes, and so I could see the husband saying, I don't want any part of that. I'm sorry. I'm not, otherwise, I, I'm not getting married to that.

• 39:52Speaker 03

  Right.

• 39:53Speaker 04

  Like, I'll see you when you get to the house.

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• 40:36Speaker 00

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• 42:13Speaker 06

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• 42:57Speaker 06

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• 43:07Speaker 03

  I am so grateful that you and I can like be in Europe and walk the streets and go get a cappuccino and like sit out at a cafe like without people bothering us. Like I would, it would annoy me if every second we were bothered by a fan.

• 43:20Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 43:21Speaker 03

  And that, that's a lot on a, on a relationship. So, I mean, for them to make that, that marriage 60 years and with all her fame and all that.

• 43:28Speaker 04

  I love that she did that though.

• 43:29Speaker 03

  Pretty crazy.

• 43:30Speaker 04

  Honestly, I love that she did that.

• 43:31Speaker 03

  Did what?

• 43:32Speaker 04

  Well, she said, okay, that's fine.

• 43:33Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 43:34Speaker 04

  Like.

• 43:34Speaker 03

  She was down for it.

• 43:35Speaker 04

  I get it that, uh, I'll see you back at the house.

• 43:36Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 43:37Speaker 04

  I'll see you when I get off tour and, and we'll, we'll do dinner at the house.

• 43:40Speaker 03

  Right.

• 43:41Speaker 04

  Um, right? Cause they didn't do, I'm sure they weren't going out in public together.

• 43:45Speaker 03

  No, never. And, but she did mention one thing that sort of she loved about him was his, they both shared the same dark sense of humor. I also think that a sense of humor and laughing and comedy in a relationship might be like top two things that matter most in a relationship. Come on.

• 44:01Speaker 04

  It's key.

• 44:02Speaker 03

  Key.

• 44:03Speaker 04

  Key.

• 44:03Speaker 03

  Like you ain't gonna make it 60 years if you cannot laugh together.

• 44:06Speaker 04

  Well, when you're laughing, that means you're not taking it so seriously.

• 44:09Speaker 03

  Right.

• 44:10Speaker 04

  You know?

• 44:10Speaker 03

  And what's that serious?

• 44:11Speaker 04

  Like anything in life.

• 44:12Speaker 03

  Right.

• 44:12Speaker 04

  That, that's when you laugh.

• 44:13Speaker 03

  Right.

• 44:13Speaker 04

  It's because, oh shit, it's funny. It's, it's not that, it's not that big of a deal. And so.

• 44:18Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 44:19Speaker 04

  If you don't have that in a relationship, I think, man, you're, you're cruising.

• 44:22Speaker 03

  Tick tock, tick tock.

• 44:23Speaker 04

  You're cruising. It better be funny. Cause life's gonna get you.

• 44:27Speaker 03

  How many times have you told me when I'm being a nightmare, uh, you know, a better man, a lesser man would have left?

• 44:34Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 44:35Speaker 03

  And unless he, when he's, when, when you, Tony's really mad at me, you guys who are listening, he will literally say, a lesser man. And I know what he means by that. And he'll fall, always follow it up with like, good thing you're funny. You know?

• 44:47Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 44:48Speaker 03

  Like it is true that like.

• 44:49Speaker 04

  You're entertaining.

• 44:50Speaker 03

  I, I entertain you and even when we're fighting, like you think I'm absolutely ridiculous.

• 44:54Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 44:55Speaker 03

  And so that's kind of funny.

• 44:56Speaker 04

  Yeah. It is funny.

• 44:57Speaker 03

  That's what.

• 44:58Speaker 04

  Well, we talk about that, learning how to fight and.

• 45:00Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 45:00Speaker 04

  Not taking it so damn seriously.

• 45:01Speaker 03

  Yeah. It's not that serious unless it is, right? It's not that serious unless it is. And it's usually not that fucking serious.

• 45:06Speaker 04

  It's never that serious. It's never that serious. It's very rare.

• 45:09Speaker 03

  Very, very rare.

• 45:11Speaker 04

  What, what could come up? Like, think about it.

• 45:14Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 45:14Speaker 04

  If you're, if you take away, you know, if you're drinking too much or you're, you're addiction, obviously.

• 45:19Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 45:20Speaker 04

  Uh, but that's.

• 45:21Speaker 03

  What they say, addiction, the, the three As. Addiction, adultery, and abuse.

• 45:27Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 45:28Speaker 03

  So.

• 45:29Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 45:29Speaker 03

  As long as those three ain't happening, addiction, adultery, and abuse.

• 45:32Speaker 04

  Mm-hmm.

• 45:33Speaker 03

  The three As, triple A.

• 45:35Speaker 04

  Triple A.

• 45:35Speaker 03

  You're, most of the time you'll make it. But even in those things, like people fight for their relationships and you know, no judgment, but like those three things are typically the main reasons why people get divorced.

• 45:44Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 45:45Speaker 03

  And financial reasons, obviously.

• 45:47Speaker 04

  And financial, but even financial, I'm always like, okay, unless somebody's being.

• 45:52Speaker 03

  Crazy, overspending, has a gambling habit. Again, that falls into like addiction, but yeah, other than that.

• 45:57Speaker 04

  What are we fighting about?

• 45:58Speaker 03

  Honey, cheers to being like Haroldine in Delaparton.

• 46:01Speaker 04

  Haroldine?

• 46:02Speaker 03

  If we can make it 60 years, I'll be proud of us.

• 46:05Speaker 04

  I'll say for it. Do we click? Ching ching?

• 46:07Speaker 03

  Ching ching.

• 46:07Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 46:08Speaker 03

  Click, click. So what would you say are the rules of our marriage? Every couple has like, oh, maybe an undisclosed rulebook in their marriage. What would you say our unspoken rules are in our marriage?

• 46:21Speaker 04

  Well, we've never written anything down.

• 46:23Speaker 03

  No, but I know, but we have them in our heads, but.

• 46:25Speaker 04

  And people ask us that all the time.

• 46:26Speaker 03

  Right.

• 46:27Speaker 04

  Cause we have been together for 22, 23 years, whatever it is. Uh, 23 years. 23 years, right? 20, off and on. Not off and on.

• 46:34Speaker 03

  I stopped counting.

• 46:34Speaker 04

  Yeah, whatever it is. Married, coming up on 20 next year. Um, what are the rules? I think you have to keep falling in love with the person every five years because people change.

• 46:49Speaker 03

  Damn right.

• 46:50Speaker 04

  And you have to fall in love with that version of that person.

• 46:53Speaker 03

  Mm-hmm.

• 46:54Speaker 04

  Yeah, at the beginning, you were, you were, you know, we had no kids. There was, it's all carefree. I'm in love with this free version of, of you.

• 47:01Speaker 03

  That lasted five minutes. I was pregnant literally within a year.

• 47:04Speaker 04

  Yeah, but we, but we were off and on for about two years.

• 47:06Speaker 03

  Yeah, I guess.

• 47:07Speaker 04

  Two, two, three years and then we got, and then we did get married.

• 47:09Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 47:09Speaker 04

  And then, and then, and, and then you have kids. Okay?

• 47:13Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 47:13Speaker 04

  And so that, now, so that old Toby is gone and I think you have to fall in love with that new version.

• 47:19Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 47:19Speaker 04

  And then in a year or 10, you know, okay, now we have teenagers or, or elementary school kids, you fall into that version.

• 47:24Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 47:25Speaker 04

  You fall into the version. Once we have this empty nester thing coming on, it's like, you're gonna change. I'm gonna change. You have to.

• 47:31Speaker 03

  Well.

• 47:31Speaker 04

  Cause no longer are we worried about these damn kids anymore because they're on their own, they're out doing their own thing.

• 47:35Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 47:36Speaker 04

  And so you have to fall in love with that version of that person.

• 47:38Speaker 03

  Yeah, but.

• 47:38Speaker 04

  I just feel like I've, oh, and we've, we've done, um, uh, what do you call that? When you, when you get married again? What's that called?

• 47:45Speaker 03

  Oh, vow renewal.

• 47:46Speaker 04

  Vow renewal.

• 47:47Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 47:48Speaker 04

  We've done that. We've done, we did it at five years.

• 47:50Speaker 03

  We did.

• 47:51Speaker 04

  Uh, we're gonna do it again for 20.

• 47:53Speaker 03

  Yeah, we are.

• 47:54Speaker 04

  So, and, and a lot of people don't know, we, we, we had a commitment ceremony. That's a long story. We'll talk about that some other episode, but we had a commitment ceremony. And then, which, which basically is we got married, we just didn't sign a piece of paper in front of our family and God and the traditional sense. And then five, uh, what about six years later, we actually had to go get.

• 48:15Speaker 03

  Five.

• 48:15Speaker 04

  Married at the courthouse.

• 48:17Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 48:18Speaker 04

  Uh, but we did go to.

• 48:19Speaker 03

  For death and taxes.

• 48:20Speaker 04

  For death and taxes. Uh, they forced you to get married.

• 48:23Speaker 03

  So romantic.

• 48:24Speaker 04

  Uh, and then we got married again with, uh, we went to Paris.

• 48:27Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 48:27Speaker 04

  And we did it underneath the Eiffel Tower.

• 48:29Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 48:29Speaker 04

  And then we're gonna do it again next year. So I just think little stuff like that, at least that's my, one of the rules.

• 48:34Speaker 03

  That's true. And, and, and speaking of you falling in love with each other in every version of each other, I mean, like this perimenopause version has really taken you down to the.

• 48:42Speaker 04

  Tough.

• 48:43Speaker 03

  To the nubs, hasn't it?

• 48:44Speaker 04

  Don't like it.

• 48:45Speaker 03

  I know, I apologize, but I, I am aware of.

• 48:48Speaker 04

  It's, it's tough.

• 48:48Speaker 03

  It's an out of body experience sometimes, but.

• 48:51Speaker 04

  A lot of divorce, do a lot of, a lot of divorce happens, right?

• 48:53Speaker 03

  Well, if you think about like the age of, in the time that divorce usually happens, it is around the perimenopause age that women are going through, like these things.

• 49:02Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 49:02Speaker 03

  It's like our personality, like we're just so edgy and irritable and sweaty and.

• 49:06Speaker 04

  Short.

• 49:07Speaker 03

  Golly.

• 49:08Speaker 04

  Unrealistic.

• 49:09Speaker 03

  Uh, go on.

• 49:11Speaker 04

  Um, ridiculous at times.

• 49:13Speaker 03

  Get it out. Get it out.

• 49:15Speaker 04

  I don't know. I mean.

• 49:17Speaker 03

  Okay. Yes, and I've been working on it and I'm getting through it and it's hard on us too. It sucks, but I get it. You guys, it's hard, it's hard.

• 49:24Speaker 04

  I know. You're always having those, the hot flashes and.

• 49:27Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 49:28Speaker 04

  And you have to tell everybody when you're having a hot flash. That's what I found, and not just you, your friends, I won't name names, who are going through the same thing. It's like you get a hot flash and it's like, you have to announce it. You have to tell everybody, guess what? I'm having a hot flash. And it happens a lot.

• 49:42Speaker 03

  You don't like that?

• 49:43Speaker 04

  I just don't understand why you keep saying it.

• 49:45Speaker 03

  I just want, we just want empathy.

• 49:46Speaker 04

  That's like, like, uh, because it happens a few times a day. It's like somebody saying, uh, I have to go to the bathroom. Hey, I gotta go to the bathroom. Okay. Fuck, okay, go.

• 49:55Speaker 03

  Honey, how about you just.

• 49:57Speaker 04

  I'm having a hot flash and you'll grab my hand and put it on you. Okay, I, I, same thing three hours ago.

• 50:02Speaker 03

  Honestly, I announce it because it's so strange to me. I can't believe this is happening to my body. Like it's a weird feeling. It's a weird sensation. It's like, I, what is this? I need somebody else to recognize how weird this is.

• 50:13Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 50:13Speaker 03

  Like it's something that's never happened to me before. It's not like I have to go to the bathroom. Like I've never had hot flashes before in my life.

• 50:18Speaker 04

  I know.

• 50:19Speaker 03

  And all of a sudden, my whole face is, feels like it's on fire and I'm like, I, I can't catch my breath. I'm like, what is happening to my body?

• 50:26Speaker 04

  Yeah, but it's been, what, how long has Perry been with us? He's been with it, what? Four?

• 50:31Speaker 03

  I don't know, maybe a year?

• 50:34Speaker 04

  It's gonna be.

• 50:34Speaker 03

  Is it coming on?

• 50:35Speaker 04

  I guess, yeah.

• 50:35Speaker 03

  It's been coming around.

• 50:36Speaker 04

  Yeah, but I mean.

• 50:38Speaker 03

  It's getting better, don't you think? Like my attitude?

• 50:41Speaker 04

  I don't know.

• 50:47Speaker 04

  You know what, that's part of it, though. I think that's another thing, like you gotta have compassion. You gotta be like a little bit of empathy. Like, oh, you're going through it. It's a tough thing. I get it, man. It's probably like going through puberty.

• 50:58Speaker 03

  No.

• 50:58Speaker 04

  It's reverse puberty for women, right? No?

• 51:01Speaker 03

  No, this is so much worse.

• 51:03Speaker 04

  It's worse?

• 51:03Speaker 03

  Yes, this feels like the last trimester. This feels like the last trimester of my pregnancy, which I don't know if you remember where I.

• 51:09Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah?

• 51:10Speaker 03

  Yeah, I felt like I needed an exorcism, but like I do feel like there's bouts of those feelings where I'm like full of rage and I have to catch my breath.

• 51:19Speaker 04

  Uh huh.

• 51:19Speaker 03

  It's hormones. It's what it is. Anyway, thank you for, you know, toughing this out with me at this phase of life.

• 51:26Speaker 04

  And we will. We're gonna get through it.

• 51:27Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 51:28Speaker 04

  I think you should probably go for a walk sometime.

• 51:30Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 51:30Speaker 04

  And clear your, clear your mind.

• 51:32Speaker 03

  You're probably right.

• 51:32Speaker 04

  We never talked about that, but yeah. Have you, because you haven't asked me my opinion on what you should do.

• 51:36Speaker 03

  Yeah, no, no, care. No, just kidding. I do care. I will take a walk. I'll do that.

• 51:40Speaker 04

  No, you won't. No, you won't.

• 51:43Speaker 03

  I want to take you down with me. I want you to feel my feelings. No, I will. I'll take a walk. I'll shelter you from my experience.

• 51:49Speaker 04

  Okay, what other rules do we have? I think we, we talked about this before. Um, fighting. I think when you do fight.

• 51:55Speaker 03

  Fight clean.

• 51:56Speaker 04

  Fight fair.

• 51:57Speaker 03

  Clean as in don't call names, don't scream and yell, slam doors, be violent, obviously.

• 52:04Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 52:04Speaker 03

  But we don't call.

• 52:05Speaker 04

  Because you've been in that type of relationship. I had never had that. I've never, the, the, the relationships I had before I met you never was, I never went through something like that where you argue and you call each other.

• 52:18Speaker 03

  I mean, I was so young, but yeah, it was awful. Stupid, yeah.

• 52:22Speaker 04

  And I've seen, but it doesn't mean that it can't work. You saw The Notebook. They yelled at each other, didn't they?

• 52:27Speaker 03

  The Notebook?

• 52:28Speaker 04

  Remember that movie with the Ryan Gosling?

• 52:30Speaker 03

  If you're a bird, I'm a bird.

• 52:31Speaker 04

  I don't, I don't know all that. I saw it one time. But I remember in the movie they were yelling and at the end, doesn't he say like, hey, we fight. This is just us. This is just us.

• 52:39Speaker 03

  This is what we do.

• 52:40Speaker 04

  This is what we do. So it works for some people, but I think that's, that's bad advice.

• 52:44Speaker 03

  And that's the movies, honey.

• 52:45Speaker 04

  That's probably cause a lot of divorce. Cause people are like, oh, I'm gonna be like The Notebook. See, it's totally normal, babe. Hey, go whoa, whoa. And he starts cussing her out or otherwise. And, and like, that doesn't work. You can't do that.

• 52:55Speaker 03

  This isn't the movies.

• 52:56Speaker 04

  I don't believe in that at all. Yeah.

• 52:57Speaker 03

  This isn't the movies. You need, yeah.

• 52:59Speaker 04

  And, and we believe in laughter during a fight.

• 53:03Speaker 03

  That's true.

• 53:04Speaker 04

  Right?

• 53:04Speaker 03

  You're a ridiculous fighter, but we'll save that for another podcast, cause you're absolutely ridiculous when we fight, in the most funny way. But yeah, I, I, I think that those are the rules. Fight fair, fall in love with the person as they change. Um, and comedy, laugh. It's not that serious.

• 53:21Speaker 04

  Yeah, I think, uh, rituals too. We have good rituals, like morning, morning coffee. If you can, I know some people out there, you probably don't have time for that. You got jobs and stuff like that.

• 53:31Speaker 03

  I call it Tuesday with Maury.

• 53:33Speaker 04

  We're lucky, yeah. Yeah, lucky, lucky to be able to hang out with each other.

• 53:37Speaker 03

  My old man I like to have coffee with. I like it.

• 53:40Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 53:40Speaker 03

  Best part of my day.

• 53:41Speaker 04

  Is it? Yeah, me too.

• 53:43Speaker 03

  I know we said we'd say this for another episode, but I have to talk about how ridiculous you are when we do fight and why it actually works for us. It's because you guys who are listening, Tony, I would get up and show you, but he literally in his, in his rage, and I mean like, I really have to push him to be angry, like I've, I've taken you to your limit.

• 54:03Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 54:03Speaker 03

  And you will stand up in that moment and you will bite your fist, clinch your fist and bite it as hard as you can.

• 54:09Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 54:09Speaker 03

  And then jump into a karate kick, like a high kick karate kick. And then you'll take like an imaginary stick and break it over your knee. Like I'm, I'm the stick.

• 54:19Speaker 04

  Yeah, you are.

• 54:20Speaker 03

  You're karate chopping me and you're biting your fist, like, cause you try not to punch it at me. And it's all of these movements and these ridiculous, I don't, karate moves that take me out of the complete reason we are arguing like in the first place. And I am like, you are the most ridiculous

• 54:40Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 54:40Speaker 03

  human I've ever seen in my life.

• 54:41Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 54:42Speaker 03

  And it's great. It works because then all of a sudden, I don't even remember what we were fighting about. I'm looking at you be a ridiculous human being.

• 54:49Speaker 04

  Yes. And I'm not doing it for you.

• 54:52Speaker 03

  Well, I know. You're doing it for you. You're getting it out.

• 54:54Speaker 04

  I'm taking myself out of it too, because I'm so angry and so frustrated and, uh, disheartened.

• 55:02Speaker 03

  Disheartened?

• 55:03Speaker 04

  And this, yeah.

• 55:05Speaker 03

  Wow. Okay.

• 55:07Speaker 04

  I, I feel very.

• 55:08Speaker 03

  Utterly disappointed in the human being that you are.

• 55:10Speaker 04

  It is ridiculous what is going on here right now. So, uh, yeah, I think it's important to, to take yourself out of it.

• 55:17Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 55:18Speaker 04

  The best way you can and just get, like, say some, say the most ridiculous shit you can think of.

• 55:23Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 55:24Speaker 04

  Like speaking tongues at, at an imaginary person, like turn around and start talking. Yeah, yeah.

• 55:32Speaker 03

  Right, right.

• 55:32Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 55:32Speaker 03

  Heal you.

• 55:33Speaker 04

  Pretend that you're, that's another one. Like you could pretend that you're healing somebody, like, like just get into your imagination and go crazy in that imagin- and go crazy.

• 55:43Speaker 03

  I mean, this might, this might be the advice.

• 55:44Speaker 04

  Gets all the tension out. I think it gets all the, it's like some people, what, punch a pillow? You could punch a pillow or something.

• 55:49Speaker 03

  Screaming to a pillow.

• 55:49Speaker 04

  I'm not doing that. Not doing that.

• 55:51Speaker 03

  Okay, that's beneath you.

• 55:53Speaker 04

  Yeah, it just sounds, sounds childish.

• 55:55Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah. Oh, wow. I'm glad we have our limits. Okay.

• 55:59Speaker 04

  Well, um, what, but you, you want to, cause you want to keep going. You want to keep fighting. And most people do. I think most people do want to, want to keep fighting. Like they feel so good.

• 56:10Speaker 03

  That's true.

• 56:11Speaker 04

  When you're in the argument and you're expressing yourself and you're like, oh, this is smart. Like I, I'm saying something. And I know a lot of the times it's probably not even making sense, what I'm saying.

• 56:22Speaker 03

  Look, at the end of the day, what did we say? You have to take things lightly. Nothing is that serious. And if, if what you're fighting about is that serious, you'll come back around and you'll talk about it more and you'll address it more. But it's like, in that moment, like it's just doesn't need to escalate. And you do such a good job at de- de-escalating the situation. And I think that's a huge win for us in our relationship. I think that's why we've lasted so long is because it's just, we never let it go too far. It's like, we never let it get past the point of no return or to the point where we say things or do things that we can't take back. Like in marriages, like people go full throttle, like say some shit that they're like, oh, I can't believe I said that. I can't believe that came out of my mouth. And the other person just never forgets it. They carry it with them forever.

• 57:05Speaker 03

  And you can't unsee it. You can't unfeel it. It's always there. So it's like, we've done really well at not letting it get to that point. And I think that's, that's huge.

• 57:15Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah. I think compliment each other. It's a good rule. We do that a lot.

• 57:18Speaker 03

  Complimenting?

• 57:19Speaker 04

  Yeah. In, in the sense, I, I know what, yeah, you, you, like, you look pretty, like that, that, you, I like your hair like that.

• 57:26Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 57:27Speaker 04

  It's just something.

• 57:28Speaker 03

  You're not a big noticer, but you know, when you do. Like, I mean, like if I have a new, like get my hair colored or I get a new, anything.

• 57:36Speaker 04

  Yeah, I probably won't notice that, but you look pretty.

• 57:39Speaker 03

  You'll say I look pretty, yes.

• 57:40Speaker 04

  Not very detailed.

• 57:41Speaker 03

  No, no, no, no, not a detail.

• 57:42Speaker 04

  I think most men are like that too. Most men, some men.

• 57:45Speaker 03

  I have some girlfriends that are married to producers and it's like, they get the real compliments. Like I've really, I noticed, I noticed your toenail color is nice.

• 57:52Speaker 04

  Yeah, that's not happening.

• 57:53Speaker 03

  You got your, you cut your hair a little bit. You trimmed it, I noticed. I'm like, ooh, that must be nice.

• 57:58Speaker 04

  That's weird to me. Ted knows that weird stuff, like, it's not weird stuff, I guess, but.

• 58:03Speaker 03

  For you to notice.

• 58:03Speaker 04

  I remember I was sitting in a, um, a meeting and, and when I was playing for the Chiefs. And this lady was on stage talking and, uh, it's a pretty lady. And the guy next to me, he leans over and he goes, look at her shoes. And I guess her shoes were kind of dirty. And I was like, I didn't, what do you?

• 58:26Speaker 03

  Tony's like, I couldn't take my eyes off her legs, her chest, huh, huh, huh, a lot of other parts before I got to her shoes.

• 58:33Speaker 04

  But that was, exactly. Like she's a pretty, I'm not even, you looked at her shoes? Like what are we, what are we doing here? Like what do you?

• 58:39Speaker 03

  And, and so what did, what did he say afterwards?

• 58:42Speaker 04

  Not always, oh, I always notice stuff like that. I notice like the little details. And I was like, I don't, I don't have that. I don't think I have that in me. I don't know why I told that story. It just made sense to me.

• 58:51Speaker 03

  No, you don't, honey. Not a detail oriented person. And I, and I appreciate it sometimes, you know? Cause on the flip side of that, a guy that looks at all the details is gonna notice if you have one hair out of place. And I don't want some guy doing that to me.

• 59:02Speaker 04

  Yeah, you want me to nitpick?

• 59:04Speaker 03

  No, God, no. Thank God.

• 59:05Speaker 04

  But on the flip side, you will nitpick. You'll nitpick.

• 59:08Speaker 03

  Oh, yes.

• 59:09Speaker 04

  There's enough nitpicking for all, for the last, yeah, you will nitpick.

• 59:15Speaker 03

  I'm a professional nitpicker.

• 59:16Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah.

• 59:18Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 59:18Speaker 04

  But it's fun.

• 59:19Speaker 03

  Peck, peck, peck.

• 59:20Speaker 04

  You just can't take it seriously.

• 59:24Speaker 03

  Well, honey, this has been very fun. Thanks for hanging out with me.

• 59:27Speaker 04

  It was good. First episode. We're off to the races now. We'll see.

• 59:30Speaker 03

  Twenty years now, podcasts, we just get more and more time together.

• 59:33Speaker 04

  Think people will like it?

• 59:34Speaker 03

  I hope so.

• 59:35Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 59:35Speaker 03

  Are we gonna be okay?

• 59:36Speaker 04

  We're gonna be fine.

• 59:37Speaker 03

  I think we're gonna be great.

• 59:37Speaker 04

  We gonna be all right.

• 59:39Speaker 03

  Well, guys, you can stream us on any platform, hit subscribe, download, do all the things and we'll see you soon.

• 59:54Speaker 07

  Honey, Felipe sent another photo.

• 59:56Speaker 05

  From Argentina? How?

• 59:58Speaker 07

  With T-Mobile, of course.

• 1:00:00Speaker 05

  Mira, he's video calling us. Hola familia. Did you get my photos?

• 1:00:04Speaker 07

  We did.

• 1:00:05Speaker 05

  They're so pretty.

• 1:00:07Speaker 07

  Here to share every moment with T-Mobile. Enjoy data roaming at no extra charge in 21 Latin American countries. Switch now on the T-Life app or tmobile.com/conectate.

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