431: Turkish folklore: These Dreams

✨Cobbler Ahmet just wants to fix shoes✨ But his wife wants those sweet, sweet bath reservations, so it looks like he's going to go be the Chief Astrologer to the Sultan. The only problem(s)? He doesn't like astrology, doesn't know how to do it, and starts out by selling his astrology by the side of the highway. That's actually the second story, because this week there are two stories of two Ahmets following dreams. On the first is junkman Ahmet, who has the same wonderful dream every night...except when it stops being wonderful, and starts getting real, he learns that sometimes following your dreams can be painful. And also weird. 😈 The Creature: Wapaloosie If you find you're always misplacing your gloves, they might be actively crawling away from you...because they're made from the fur of a Wapaloosie, a half squirrel, half dachshund, half caterpillar. --- 📖 The Book! Myths and Legends has our first book coming out on December 1st! Written by Carissa, it's a comprehensive retelling of Arthurian legend for the modern age. If you like the podcast, you'll love the book, and preorders are a massive help to us. Check it out here: https://myths.link/preorder 🔗 Links: Membership: https://www.mythpodcast.com/membership Source 1: https://myths.link/junkman Source 2: https://myths.link/astrologer Myths and Legends YouTube:https://myths.link/youtube 💬 Social Discord: https://myths.link/discord Instagram: https://myths.link/instagram Bluesky: https://myths.link/bluesky --- 📢 Sponsors Better Help: This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Sign up and get 10% off at https://betterhelp.com/myths ButcherBox: As an exclusive offer, new listeners can get their choice between chicken breast or top sirloin for a year OR ground beef for life, PLUS $20 off when you go to https://ButcherBox.com/LEGENDS https://butcherbox.com/LEGENDS Wayfair: Get organized, refreshed, and back on track this new year for WAY less. Head to https://wayfair.com https://wayfair.com/ right now to shop all things home. --- 🎵 Music Credits Greylock by Blue Dot Sessions Filesharer's Lament by Chad Crouch Cello Pizz by Breakmaster Cylinder Rhodes by Blue Dot Sessions Julmust by Breakmaster Cylinder Dream Abridged by Blue Dot Sessions Corkscrew Pt. 2, Score 19 by Chad Crouch

• 0:00Speaker 00

  This week on Myths and Legends, there are two stories from Turkey. On the first, you'll see how you should follow your dreams, even if those dreams mean forsaking everyone you love and starving in a faraway land. On the second, you'll see how you should never follow your dreams, because you won't get the good reservations at the bath. The creature this time is a squirrel, dachshund, caterpillar, who makes a terrible pair of gloves.

• 0:32Speaker 00

  This is Myths and Legends, episode 432, These Dreams.

• 0:41Speaker 00

  This is a podcast where we tell stories from mythology and folklore. Some are incredibly popular tales you might think you know, but with surprising origins. Others are stories that might be new to you, but are definitely worth a listen. Today, we're in Turkish folklore, with two stories of two Ahmet's. The guy's named Ahmet, that's not a title that I know of. And they are all living their dreams, but in different ways. We'll jump in with our first Ahmet, Ahmet the Junkman, who is literally living his dreams, in that he goes to bed at like 6:30 PM, so he can be a rich guy when he falls asleep.

• 1:28Speaker 00

  "Bed already?" Ahmet's wife asked. Ahmet said, "Yes, he was exhausted. He was a junkman. He spent his day searching through cinders to find scraps of iron he could sell." "Yeah, I, I know what you do," she said. "And it must be tiring and grueling, but it's like 6:15 PM? He was going to bed earlier and earlier each day. Was he okay?" Physically, yes. Mentally and emotionally, not remotely. Amit said. Wha- what was that other part? His wife asked. Oh, sorry hun, can't hear you over my exaggerated yawning. Ugh, and shut the door to bed.

• 2:10Speaker 00

  His job was exhausting, so it did kind of make sleep easier, even when he could still see so much daylight and hear the kids playing outside. Those annoyances were shooed away by what waited for him on the other side of unconsciousness. Amit closed his eyes in his humble room, in the tower on the abandoned wall, with everything in it paid for by relentless and punishing labor, and opened his eyes, ah, in his mansion, being fanned by servants and being fed fruits and dates. He breathed, oh, this was good. He turned to his wife, who asked what they should do today. Yachts? Feasts? Riding space dolphins?

• 2:53Speaker 00

  Amit looked up, and the dolphin riding off into space with a shimmering trail behind him winked. Tipping his cool drink to the dolphin, Amit turned back to his wife. How about they did... Nothing at all? She smiled. Sounds great. About an hour later, Amit looked up when his servant announced a visitor. It was a man he hadn't seen before, in fact, well, he didn't know if he had seen the man before because Amit couldn't see his face. He had one, it was just like he was looking at the man out of the corner of his eye, even when he was looking directly at the stranger. "Wake up," the stranger said.

• 3:37Speaker 00

  What? How do you know- "Wake up," the stranger demanded. No, no, no, no, don't say that, it's not time y- In a moment, Amit was out of the glory and splendor of his dream manor and in the darkness of his cramped room at the base of the tower. Closing his eyes with a groan, he tried to go back to sleep, to regain those few precious lost hours, but he couldn't. He sat up, face in his hands, hearing the tree outside sway in the wind, knowing it was time to start this new, terrible day in this old, terrible life.

• 4:16Speaker 00

  "Go to Egypt, and your night shall be your day," a voice said from the corner of the room. That Ahmet kept himself from screaming was a feat, and he squinted, "What?" "Go to Egypt, and your night shall be your day," the voice repeated. And Ahmet said, "Wait, that form, he recognized that face," because he didn't recognize that face. The man, it was the man from his dream, but Egypt, how, where? Ahmet blinked, and it was day. He was laying down in bed with the words, "Go to Egypt, and your night shall be your day," echoing in his head.

• 5:12Speaker 00

  "Uh, wow, it's 7:00 PM and you're not in bed?" Ahmet's wife asked a week later. "No, of course not. That's so far away, it's just, like, dream nonsense." Ahmet snapped back at her. "Bed is far away?" she asked, puzzled. "No, Egypt. Who said anything about bed?" Ahmet grumbled. "Bed wasn't fun anymore. He just had the same dream, but not in a fun way, in a bad way, because it was a bad dream about a bad guy." His wife stood. "It, you know, she felt for him, but this was the Middle Ages, it was hard for everyone, and she had her own stuff going on and couldn't sit here and pretend to be mad about his dreams. And while they were fighting, he needed to stop yelling at the neighbors.

• 5:57Speaker 00

  "Then they need to stop asking me about when I'm going to Egypt," Ahmet said. "No one is asking when you're going to Egypt," and announced that, for once, she was going to bed before he was, because she just couldn't deal with him right now. She woke the following morning to some crazy person running the path by the wall, saying, "I go, I go, I go to the land of wealth." And it wasn't until she got up and saw Ahmet's traveling cloak and walking stick gone that she realized the crazy man running away down the wall had been her husband, and he had left.

• 6:46Speaker 00

  Cap, hey, we got a guy on board. He says he's not paying? The first mate said to the captain of a boat bound for Egypt that same morning before dawn. And why is he still on board, then? The captain stroked his beard. Well, he says that he was summoned to Egypt by some otherworldly force and you were bound to take him. The captain got serious. What? He said that? I mean, anyone can say that, though, right? He didn't give any names or anything? The first mate shrugged. Nothing to suggest some eerie supernatural connection. Did he seem a little crazy? The captain asked.

• 7:27Speaker 00

  And the first mate pointed, yes, that was definitely his whole vibe he was giving off. Or holy, the captain pointed. I mean, less so, definitely, but I guess it could read that way? The first mate aloud. You know what? It's not worth it. It's one spot and we can tuck him in somewhere in the bottom and just call it ascetic plus. So wait, whose rations will we be feeding him from? The first mate said. Oh, no, that's ascetic premium plus, the captain replied. Wait, I thought that was the old deck floor select package? The first mate said. Oh, yeah, it was. We just changed some words around and added some like plus and premium.

• 8:10Speaker 00

  And now we can charge more for stuff we used to do for free? The captain said. But yeah, that this Ahmet guy would get to sail for free? He wasn't about to get on the bad side of holy stuff. No, thanks. And so that's how, not too long after, Ahmet found himself walking the streets of Cairo. After getting warned with kicking that he should stay away from mansions that kind of looked like his dream mansion, he ended up on the street, eating bread crusts of strangers. And when you're relying on the bread crusts of strangers, you should probably abstain from shouting at said strangers about how they're all liars and that you were tricked into coming there by faceless dream men.

• 8:52Speaker 00

  Eventually, everyone tired of his yelling and they just stopped coming around him. Ahmet found all the streets he was on devoid of anyone seeking or offering charity. Eventually, he decided that, marooned in a faraway land, no hope of being obscenely rich and winking at space dolphins, he didn't want to keep on going. He wandered out to the pyramids, where he laid next to them, to wait for a stone to fall and crush him. Yes, those famously rickety pyramids that even at that point had stood for thousands of years, were now gonna have a stone shake free and fall.

• 9:34Speaker 00

  As he was laying there, wincing, he heard a voice. An old man walking the desert. "Why so miserable, Father? Has your soul been so strangled that you prefer it being dashed out of your body to its remaining prescribed time and bondage?" Amit said he was from Istanbul, where he had been a junk man, but he had been plagued with dreams of more. He followed his dream to Egypt, where he now lived, though barely, alone and starving. The old man, also named Amit for some reason, laughed. That was foolish, though he understood the urging. If he were to obey his dreams, then he would have left long ago as a man as young as Amit,

• 10:18Speaker 00

  when his dreams first started. A dream told him to go to Istanbul, where there stood an old wall where some people lived. Some of the towers were square, some round, and the base of one lived an old man and his wife. And outside the tower stood a large tree. A man who has a face, but he had never seen it, pointed to that tree night after night. But the old man wasn't such a fool as to actually go to Istanbul to verify it. It was an oft-repeated dream and nothing more. Amit laughed. He understood how foolish he was now, to follow a dream to Egypt. If he had only been wise, like this man wandering the desert on a workday, heckling strangers going through

• 11:02Speaker 00

  an obvious mental health crisis. Eat, thank the man, who once again was also named Amit, but that is an addressed, and our Amit made for port.

• 11:22Speaker 00

  He seems less crazy now? The first mate explained to the captain. The captain sighed, "All right, still let him on for free, but upgrade him to a Setic Premium Plus Select." The first mate said, "That was what he was on last time, right? We just changed the name?" "It's actually worse. It's the same seat, but with more rats." And he understood the rates and names seemed misleading and predatory. "But what were people gonna do? Not sail places?" The captain laughed. The first mate joined in, "Yes, they hated their customers." Ahmet returned home one afternoon after a full day of work, bringing bread and beans and, actually, a few scraps of meat. His wife, when she opened the wooden door of the tower's base where they lived,

• 12:06Speaker 00

  was angry, but the rights of women being what they were kind of had no choice but to take him back. Also, she was starving too. It took him a week until, one night at dinner, he looked out on the light of the fading day and saw, next to his tower, the big tree, the one he had seen every day. He shook his head, "No, that was impossible." In the other Ahmet's dream, an elderly couple had lived in the tower next to the tree. But then, Ahmet thought about it. That, hm, actually, his in-laws had lived in this tower until they passed a few years back. And the old Desert Ahmet said he had that dream as a younger man.

• 12:49Speaker 00

  That night, well after dark, Ahmet left with a shovel. The next morning, he laughed over his bad luck with his wife, saying it had been foolish of him to listen to the Desert Ahmet, as foolish as it had been to go to Egypt in the first place. But he had to try. Besides, could she imagine if there had been treasure there? They would spend the rest of their short life defending it from their neighbors, the Sultan, I mean, everyone who wanted a piece. She laughed too. So, Ahmet continued on as a junk man, searching the wastes and trash for anything he could find to sell to support him and his wife. Still, fortune must have smiled on him, because he would always get luckier than most, finding with a surprising regularity,

• 13:33Speaker 00

  gold, jewels, even gemstones, when others would bring home only iron.

• 13:48Speaker 00

  I'm not sure what this story is saying, actually. Follow your dreams, but also don't because you'll starve in a foreign land and condemn your spouse to abject poverty, and the true riches were at home the whole time. I do think Ahmed appreciates his life now, though, and that he's more present in the waking world, realizing that wealth is only a nice addition and not everything. Of course, that luxury of not needing to focus on money is only brought about by having money, and if he didn't have that wealth, he would very much notice not having it. So yeah, I'm back to not knowing what this story is saying. Sorry. In the second and final story today, it's another Ahmed who truly does not care about money.

• 14:32Speaker 00

  He found his passion in life, fixing shoes, and wants to do just that, except he can't do that anymore. He needs to go be an astrologer. That, though, will be right after this. Everyone talks about how challenging it is to raise kids, but what about protecting them? Outlet covers, kitchen cabinet locks, baby gates? Where do you even start? Well, protecting your home and auto is a great place to start. Progressive offers customized coverage options so you can be sure you have the right coverage for you and your loved ones. They're basically the outlet covers, kitchen cabinet locks, and baby gates of insurance. Don't wait. Get your quote today at progressive.com.

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• 17:31Speaker 00

  Ahmed sat back and looked at his shoes. Well, not his shoes. They belonged to the merchant down the road, but in a way, all the shoes he worked on were his shoes. His life was a good one. Waking up each morning, he knew exactly what the day would bring. And he was content with where he was and who he was. Ahmed the cobbler was right where he was supposed to be. Something or someone sat just inside the periphery of his vision. Oh, hi, honey. How long have you been there? He said to his wife. Sorry, I must not have seen you come in. You know, when I get locked into my work, I'm in there deep, he said, putting his tools away for the day. Why are you not the chief astrologer to the Sultan?

• 18:16Speaker 00

  The woman sat back and crossed her arms, looking with a potent, acrid mixture of shame, disappointment, and disgust on her husband. Why am I not the what? The chief astrologer to the Sultan, the woman said. Why are you not him? Um, because he already exists? I'm always struggling to understand what was going on here. Why don't you have that job instead of this job? Because I'm a cobbler. I I cobble-er. I fix shoes. It's a completely different skill set. I add value to my community and repair and restore. He says vague phrases and wows the Sultan with smoke and mirrors.

• 19:00Speaker 00

  You know my thoughts on astrology. Where is this coming from? It was coming from Ahmet's wife getting bumped from the baths today. She was just settling into her compartment when she was notified that the harem for the chief astrologer had arrived and that she would have to bathe on a different day. Okay, let's back up, Ahmet said. The harem of the astrologer. Okay, so stop me if I'm wrong. You would rather be one of a harem, one of a handful of women, than the sole wife of me, a cobbler? She sat there. Sorry, he told her to stop him if he was wrong.

• 19:41Speaker 00

  Also, she leaned forward, harem can mean many things. There can be wives, up to four if you support all of us. They could be concubines. They could be family members who are women who live in the harem quarters, or just servants who are women. But to answer your question, I would be cool with even the most simplistic version of it that you are referencing, rather than be married to you. Wow. This, uh, this was a lot, the cobbler reeled. This felt like one of those things that would be really hard to get past in a marriage. Paraphrasing a sketch in the show, "I think you should leave." The woman said that it was an embarrassment to be married to him. She didn't respect him. She didn't respect what he did.

• 20:26Speaker 00

  And if she was with child and she prayed she wasn't, she would make sure the child didn't respect him either. She got up. Now, she was going to the bath. When she came back, he better be on his way to becoming chief astrologer to the Sultan. The slamming door shook the house, and Ahmet sat nomplussed at his desk. Well, what even was that? He was so worked up that he couldn't relax, so he got his tools out and got back to work. After about an hour of replaying the conversation in his head, he was confident that this was nothing. She was just mad about the bath. It would all blow over by morning.

• 21:16Speaker 00

  "Hi," Ahmet said when he woke up on his workbench the following morning. "I'm just, I don't know, waiting for an apology," he offered after several seconds of silence. "Oh, okay," his wife thought about it. "Um, I'm sorry that you are the way you are and that I'm stuck with you." She then made her way out to start her day. It didn't get better after that. In the story, she said, quote, "I will never call or think of you as my husband until you have been appointed chief astrologer to His Majesty." There is something to be said for pushing your spouse to be the best version of themselves. This is not that. It's not like Ahmet wants to set aside a career to say,

• 21:59Speaker 00

  "See where his mythology podcast goes in a time when it was virtually impossible for a non-celebrity to make a living doing a podcast." He had a stable, good job that he loved. All I'm saying is, if the person you're with is purposefully making you miserable, so that you give up something that's good for you, that you love, that's not a good situation for you, and you should have some big conversations. To make the pain stop, he gave her what she wanted, which, yes, is the exact definition of torture. He sold all of his tools and materials, and the shoes he had fixed and made, and with that money, bought an inkwell in reeds. Anyone who's ever picked up a nice camera, tried their first few brushstrokes with paint on canvas,

• 22:44Speaker 00

  or bought a nice guitar with the idea that you're finally gonna learn guitar, and strummed a few bars, will know that having the right tools, even good ones, does not make you good at something. "I've made a horrible mistake." Amit looked on the reeds and inkwells and paper. "Well, that's your problem," she said. "Too much time in the shop. People weren't coming to him as an astrologer here. They were coming to him as a cobbler. Just this morning, she had to turn away two dozen people who loved his work? They would not leave. She had to resort to threats of bodily harm. No, he needed to go out to the highway and practice his craft. Astrologize away, but away from here."

• 23:27Speaker 00

  "That's probably not what it's called," Amit mumbled. "But he wouldn't know because he wasn't an astrologer."

• 23:44Speaker 00

  "Astrology? Get your astrology here? Astrology?" Amit sat down by the highway, calling out for people to try out his astrology, free samples. But no one was going for it. Maybe they were busy. Maybe because they knew he was a shoemaker, who, until that morning, had no training or experience in astrology, and who actively derided the craft. As he sat by the road, feeling the sun on his skin in early autumn, he was grateful, at least, to see the sky. He never really appreciated how beautiful the clouds were, all cooped up in his workshop. "Do you converse with the stars?" A woman's voice called out as a shadow fell over him. He looked up until he saw a "hammam", which I've seen as a way to address noble women.

• 24:29Speaker 00

  Do I converse with the stars? Well, you could say that I'm compelled to. Amit smiled. The woman thanked Allah and launched into a story. She went to the bath this morning, and when she did so, she was positive she had her diamond ring. But she and her servants had searched every corner of the bath, her home, and the path between the two, and couldn't find it anywhere. "Please tell me where my diamond ring is, and I will both bless and handsomely reward you," the woman pleaded. Amit closed his eyes. Yep, nothing. He had his, he had charts and pens and ink, and he should probably maybe have those out right now and do something, but he didn't know what.

• 25:13Speaker 00

  All he could think about now was that he had his eyes closed for something like 20 seconds and still hadn't thought about anything. He opened them and saw the hem of the woman's trousers. He was skilled in shoe repair, and actually clothing repair, too. He'd almost become a tailor. It was like a coin toss. He loved them both. So there were things that he noticed that no one else would, like a tear beginning to form in the leg of the noble woman's trousers. "Oh, I actually perceive a rent there," he said, almost without thinking, just trying to be helpful. The woman gasped. Amit shrugged. Well, at least she hadn't paid up front, so it was only his pride and self-respect he would be losing.

• 25:54Speaker 00

  But his day had started with him sitting by the side of the highway hawking astrology, so those were basically gone now, anyway. "Oh, thank you, yes. I had all but forgotten," the woman was elated. "I was worried about the ring slipping off in the bath, so I put it in the crevice of the cold water fountain. Here, a thousand blessings and thank yous." She pressed several gold pieces into his hands and rushed off back toward the bath. Amit looked at what equaled several times what he made in a month as a cobbler and sat stunned. "What just happened?" "Here you go, please, take all of it.

• 26:36Speaker 00

  I'll just use a bit to buy back my shoe supplies, and we can be done with this." Amit set the gold down on the table upon returning home. His wife looked up. The salary for the chief astrologer for the Sultan was a paltry one. That's not a salary, I'm not, I'm still not the chief astrologer for the Sultan. Ahmet said that guy still already exists. Hmm, then why are you stopping? She asked. Ahmet sighed and said he guessed he wasn't.

• 27:20Speaker 00

  The pasha said it was an honor, truly, to be in the presence of the astrologer, Ahmet the cobbler. "What brings you to my home today, sir?" Ahmet said, feeling grateful that he was a body sweater and not a face sweater, and thus the pasha couldn't see that his undershirt was absolutely drenched. He had been happy being a nobody cobbler. After his one lucky guess, the whole district seemed to know his name. The woman hadn't stopped singing his praises to all of her high society friends. The pasha had lost a diamond necklace, and he had employed all manner of astrologers and diviners to find it, but everyone had come back with nothing and been beaten for it. Now he was here, at Ahmet's house.

• 28:06Speaker 00

  "Uh, how many diamonds were on the necklace?" Ahmet said, looking thoughtfully at the charts and stuff. Beautiful font work and drawings, didn't know what any of it meant, but knowing wouldn't help him now. "Twenty-four," the pasha, the military officer, said. The enslaved man he brought with him nodded thoughtfully by his side. Ahmet looked up with confidence. Then that's how many hours it would be until the location would be revealed. Almost falling out of his chair, the pasha said, "Really? He would recover the necklace in 24 hours?" Of course, it would take an hour to discover each diamond, but when he had all of them, he would have a full picture of what happened. The pasha rose and clapped. This was wonderful news.

• 28:50Speaker 00

  He would be by tomorrow at the same hour and learn what happened to his necklace. Ahmet said he looked forward to it. As the pair left, the enslaved man took a half dozen looks back at Ahmet, studying him. But Ahmet didn't waver. The moment the door shut, he collapsed. Wow, I am so curious how you're gonna do it, his wife whispered. He stood and pointed, he had enough of this. Quote, "Oh, woman, what evil influence impelled you to go the wrong path and drag others with you? When the 24 hours are up, you will perhaps repent. Alas, too late, your husband gone from you forever, without a hope of even being united in paradise."

• 29:33Speaker 00

  Okay, Mr. Astrologer, the wife smiled. I get it, you won't tell me how it's all done, I'll, I'll stop asking. Both of them heard the door rock on its hinges, as if someone had been leaning against it. When the wife went to open it, she and Ahmet only saw the enslaved man rushing to catch up to the pasha.

• 30:02Speaker 00

  That night, as Ahmet was putting his go-bag together to maybe leave town forever, he heard from his wife in the main room that he had more clients. "We're closed, I'm deep in thought for the po-" He stopped speaking when, upon exiting his room, he saw a face he recognized, the face of the enslaved man from that afternoon. He now accompanied a woman. "Please," learned one, "you are a great and good man. Have compassion on my weakness. Do not expose me to the wrath of my husband. I will do whatever penance you order and will bless you five times daily for as long as I live," she said. "How can I save you?" he asked the woman. "What's decreed is decreed."

• 30:47Speaker 00

  He, of course, Was referring to the "big-picture" idea that we all have our fates, as are known by an omniscient god. Seeing her fret, too, he also learned that words unuttered were arrows still in the quiver. "If you won't pity me, I'll confess. I will go and confess to my pasha. Perhaps he will have pity," she said. Ahmed had learned, in the intervening days since becoming a fake astrologer, that sometimes just looking pensive and saying you were gonna consult the stars for their views did a lot of the work for you. "I must go now, great wise man," she said, "or else my husband, the pasha, will miss me. It's obvious you know I stole the necklace. Can I give you the necklace before he arrives tomorrow, so you can restore it without explanation?"

• 31:32Speaker 00

  "Oh, you're the pasha's wife," Ahmed said. You know what? He could have pity on the woman, yes. It wouldn't do to simply restore it, though. She learned her lesson about, let's say, theft. Nodding, the woman said, "Absolutely." Then if tomorrow morning she places the necklace between the mattresses of the pasha's bed, he, Ahmed, would exercise his influence on her behalf for "astral intervention." Thanking the wise man, she rushed off back home.

• 32:17Speaker 00

  We'll see how more money and fame only bring more problems to the guy who just wants to make shoes. Can he please just go back to fixing shoes? But that will, once again, be right after this. Everyone talks about how challenging it is to raise kids, but what about protecting them? Outlet covers, kitchen cabinet locks, baby gates? Where do you even start? Well, protecting your home and auto is a great place to start. Progressive offers customized coverage options so you can be sure you have the right coverage for you and your loved ones. They're basically the outlet covers, kitchen cabinet locks, and baby gates of insurance. Don't wait. Get your quote today at progressive.com. Progressive Casualty Insurance Company, affiliates, and other insurers.

• 33:02Speaker 00

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• 33:41Speaker 00

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• 34:17Speaker 07

  This is Shirley Strawberry from the Steve Harvey Morning Show. Buy smart, drive for less, and trade for more. That's Toyota affordability. And it starts with a great deal on an all-wheel-drive Camry, Corolla Cross, or a Corolla Sedan with the latest features and tech. Or test drive a spacious Grand Highlander or adventure-ready RAV4. And with so many hybrid models available, you can enjoy longer trips without all the stops. While Toyota's legendary resale value means you could get more at trade-in, get a great deal today and a great value tomorrow. Shop toyota.com for deals and details. Toyota, let's go places.

• 35:09Speaker 00

  Okay, so I have good news and I have bad news, Amit said to the pasha. The good news? The stars told him where the necklace was. The pasha gasped and looked excitedly to the enslaved man, who smiled and definitely loved being forced to spy for the wife. But, Amit added, there was a wrinkle. It regarded the thief. How many links were on the chain of that necklace? Hmm, dozens? The pasha shook his head. What significance did that have? Ah, that's why, Amit said. It would take months to divine the thief. And the necklace had to stay in that spot, the place where they last touched it. That is, of course, if they didn't move it again or secret it from the city, where it

• 35:53Speaker 00

  will be lost from his sight forever. But you know where it is? The pasha waved his hands. Of course. The stars told me that before you arrived. But I must warn you, if you touch it, the energistic forces of astrological... He stopped. Look at him, boring this great man with the jargon that he definitely knew. It would sever the mystical link the item had with the thief. I don't care. At this point, I just want it back, the pasha said. He was gonna gift it to the woman who would be his next wife. Amit pointed that's... Okay, that made sense. And Amit told him the location of the necklace. Amit, praying that the pasha's wife made good on her promise, breathed when he heard

• 36:36Speaker 00

  his name sung in praises in the street. The pasha, holding the diamond necklace up over his head, showering Amit with riches, the pasha said the man was a marvel. After the wife arrived an hour later and gave him nearly as much for his silence, Amit was alone with his own wife. Please, can this stop? You... This is gonna get me killed, Amit pleaded. Look, the wife said, I want a better life for me and also us. And if you think a feeling of discontent and resentment aroused by and in conjunction with desire for the possessions or qualities of another is wrong, then maybe you need to take a look at yourself, she said, and left to go spend some of that money. It is wrong. It's envy.

• 37:20Speaker 00

  The thing you said is literally the dictionary definition of envy! Amit called out after her, but to no avail.

• 37:38Speaker 00

  "Potential husband?" Amit's wife burst through the door. "I'm your husband. We've been married for like, three years," Amit said. But she waved off his words because they didn't matter. "It was happening. Had he not heard?" "No, I haven't. I'm so famous, I can barely leave the house to spend the money I don't care if I have. I just wanna be a cobbler," he groaned. "Someone robbed the imperial treasury," Amit's wife said. "No one knows what happened to it. Even the chief astrologer to the Sultan was in disgrace." "Is it because this whole thing is just cold reading and vague statements that prey on people's hopes and fears?" Amit asked, but his wife waved that off. "All that mumbo jumbo shop talk. She didn't need to know how his mysticism worked.

• 38:22Speaker 00

  But it just needed to work one more time." In fact, she had it on good authority that there was a pounding at the door. "No, yes," she smiled. "The Sultan's men had heard of the pasha and the noblewoman. They had come to seek his wisdom and insight to find the gold." Amit breathed deeply, "All right," and asked her to go open the door.

• 38:58Speaker 00

  Forty days. He had forty days to find the thieves. It was the largest round number that didn't feel like it was just a delay of a possible literal execution. Though, when he said it was what he needed, the vizier and his guards gasped audibly and agreed immediately. Turned out, forty was noteworthy. Forty cases of gold had been stolen by what seemed like forty thieves. "Sir, this is a bean stand. Do you want some beans?" The bean seller Amit was talking to asked. He didn't know what all that was about the vizier. He was trying not to get involved in the business of pashas and princes. He just enjoyed procuring and selling different types of beans.

• 39:43Speaker 00

  It paid the bills, sure, but it was also his passion. He was lucky. Amit gripped him by his shoulders and told him to never, ever, give that up. And then broke down and said he needed exactly forty beans. Forty beans, the bean seller said. Real, real big spender this one. Ahmed was so in his own head that he didn't pick up on the sarcasm, or the fact that the man waited for his son to go get the beans from the "other jar." And soon Ahmed was walking home, dried beans running through his fingers all the days he had left on this earth. He drifted, mumbling, in a fog back home, not noticing the friends calling out greetings and congratulations on working for the Sultan,

• 40:28Speaker 00

  the potential clients calling out for his help, or the shifty-looking man who had been watching him since the vizier left his home earlier that day. He sat down at the table where he made his home and poured the beans out. Forty cases of gold, forty days, forty thieves. Ah! And here is one of them! He handed the bean to his wife to symbolize the first of the forty days he had left. It was now gone. She looked at him. Thanks. Just outside, a small gasp gave way to footsteps in the street. Fixated on his own death, Ahmed didn't notice, and his wife was too busy smelling her hand. "Do these beans smell funny?"

• 41:22Speaker 00

  "I'm telling you, I followed him all day. He was so deep in thought that I didn't need to hide in alleys and shadows and sneer and stuff, but I did because that's half the fun," the thief said. "But he knows." Outside the window on the previous night, he heard "and here is one of them", referencing the thief at the window that the astrologer couldn't see. "That's ridiculous," the other thief said. They arrived at about the same time, just about sundown. They saw him sitting at the table, and though they couldn't see what was on it, they imagined it was all sorts of charts and grids and junk. His head slumped, and he slid something across the table. And here is another one of them, he said.

• 42:06Speaker 00

  Both men looked at each other, screaming silently before running off to their hideout. They had to tell the boss. Okay, the wife said inside the house, pinching the bean and setting it down in the trash. I don't want these. Were you rude to the bean seller? Because these smell like they've lived for a long time somewhere they shouldn't have. You never be rude to people who handle your food. Later on that night, there was a knock at the door. Ahmed wasn't sleeping anyway, so he got up and walked over and a bunch of burly men with five o'clock shadows and scruffy hair, cleaning their nails and teeth with daggers, lighting matches on their boots to start their pipes, said they were a delegation

• 42:50Speaker 00

  and they had come to negotiate the peaceful return of the gold. Ahmed, let them in. He quickly gathered how they had managed to think he knew anything, with them misinterpreting the beans each night as arcane knowledge of them. They offered to return the gold immediately, and Ahmed said that that wouldn't be necessary. Because he knew where the gold was. He also knew that not every one of them was bad. It was hard out there. So no, he knew how to find them and engineered this meeting to tell them where they could put the gold. And that, for as long as he lived, they had nothing to fear. After a few more minutes of the thieves,

• 43:34Speaker 00

  seemingly astounded by his progressive and frankly probably seditious talk, they agreed to leave the gold where Ahmed asked. Leaving, they said that they were happy Ahmed was the one to define their identities. He was truly a man of the people. Ahmed bade them all a good night and, when they were out of earshot, collapsed in terror. Oh my gosh, that was so close.

• 44:09Speaker 00

  "The stars, they don't always cooperate," Amit stood before the Sultan. The Sultan sighed and wondered if his head chopping blade was clean after the last dozen or so astrologers. "So you don't know where my gold is?" "It's been forty days," the Sultan said. "Oh, I didn't say that, my Sultan," Amit replied. "Just that the stars were fickle. They don't bend to the demands of a simple man like him. They would tell him where the gold was, or they would tell him who the thieves were, but they wouldn't tell him both." The Sultan looked serious. "All the gold? Every last coin." Stroking his beard, the Sultan thought about it.

• 44:49Speaker 00

  He could just extract the location from the thieves if he knew where they were. "If you would travel to the ends of the earth to get that information, then yes," Amit said. The vizier rushed up to the Sultan. "If he could offer his insight, they really needed the money. That was all the Sultan's party cash, and while he did keep partying over the last five weeks, the cash didn't exist, so they were deep in the red." Groaning, the Sultan said, "Fine." The cash? Amit bowed and said he would go consult the stars and give the Sultan his answer.

• 45:35Speaker 00

  "Sorry, ma'am," the attendant at the bath said. Amit's wife stood there at the desk. "Was there a problem?" "Well, we're all booked up today. The harem of the chief astrologer for the Sultan will be coming and has requested the whole bath to themselves." "I see," Amit's wife said. "Well, why doesn't the woman check that again?" The attendant rolled her eyes and looked down. "There, it said..." Wait, harem of the chief astrologer for the Sultan? Wait, party of one? "That's me!" Amit's wife clapped and went in to have the whole bath to herself.

• 46:24Speaker 00

  "Ahmet," the Sultan said as Ahmet met him in the gardens. "Yes, you're exalted," Ahmet bowed. The Sultan waited for him to walk alongside him with his left hand. His right fist remained bald. "Ahmet, at the risk of making things awkward..." And then the Sultan chuckled, "Actually, it doesn't matter if I make things awkward. I'm the Sultan. I can say the most ridiculous gobbledygook imaginable, and people will either scramble to figure out what it means or praise me to my face, saying they don't understand, but how could they? Because I'm so wise. Anyway, I'm getting off track." Well, that's actually also impossible for me, because, once again, power, any track I'm on is the right one, and if someone doesn't stay with me, that's their problem. "Anyway, Ahmet, I think you're a fraud."

• 47:08Speaker 00

  Ahmet, the fraud, managed to keep from shrieking as he strode alongside the Sultan. I mean, a cobbler decides he's going to be an astrologer and, in a few months, manages to out-divine the entire kingdom? "For all I know, you're a combination of lucky guesses and complicity," the Sultan said. "When you hear the calling of the stars, it's hard not to astrologize," Ahmet said, barely keeping his mysterious tone that he had perfected over the last few weeks. "What if I asked you to make a prediction right now?" The Sultan said, "Right here, in the garden. Asked you something you couldn't possibly know. What would you say to that?"

• 47:51Speaker 00

  Ahmet looked at the flowers flourishing in the shade of the trees, the insects hopping and buzzing all around. "Oh, say something smart, say something smart." His mind went to the Book of Proverbs he had found among the old chief astrologers' things. "I wait for the stars on such matters, my Sultan. I don't trust to my own ability to make guesses. I'm not a wise man, and I should not think too highly of myself and hazard guesses. Such hubris could lead to destruction. Of course, you have heard the proverb, 'The grasshopper never knows where its third leap will land it.'" When Ahmet opened his eyes from his very practiced, bemused smirk, the one that he used to recite wise phrases someone else wrote,

• 48:35Speaker 00

  he found the Sultan not bored, not enraged, but awestruck. The Sultan looked on Ahmet like the man was an angel or a god. Never, never again. I will never ask you to demonstrate your powers. The Sultan breathed before rushing from the garden. Ahmet shrugged. All right, that went surprisingly well. Guess the guy loved proverbs. He probably should make a note of that. Ahmet left to return to his quarters to meet with his wife after her bath, leaving the slightly crinkled grasshopper, the one that had been in the Sultan's fist. And the object of the test, the Sultan didn't even get to give,

• 49:17Speaker 00

  the one that had been dropped in awe when Ahmet said the proverb to hop off into the leaves.

• 49:35Speaker 00

  Did Ahmet have some sort of latent gift? Or was he just extremely lucky? I mean, to keep falling backwards into wealth, status, and not being executed so flawlessly does feel like something more than just Ahmet uttering several lucky phrases. But I also feel like Ahmet would be the first person to tell you, no, he's just lucky. Can he please go back to making shoes? Next week, it's a samurai adventure story of a man who gives it all up to become a toothpaste salesman because it's his dream. Definitely not because he was exiled for one too many drunken sword fights at the bar and then robbed by pirates.

• 50:17Speaker 00

  So if you haven't noticed, Carissa has been a little MIA from the podcast for a couple of years now.

• 50:23Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 50:23Speaker 00

  And it is because I'm doing a drumroll. And it is because Myths and Legends has a book coming out.

• 50:30Speaker 03

  We do. The book is called For the King. It's being published by William Morrow in imprint of Harper Collins, which we are very excited about. And it is available for preorder now.

• 50:40Speaker 00

  Yeah, right now. And preorder is super important. It is a massive help. And I just have to say too, if you like this podcast, hands down, you will love this book.

• 50:50Speaker 03

  Yes. If you like tales of old written for the modern age, like on Myths and Legends, but you also like that serious tone, that more dramatic tone from fictional. Here it is in this.

• 51:00Speaker 06

  This book began as one book and it grew and grew and now they decided to turn it into three. So you have a full trilogy coming and that first piece is available for preorder now.

• 51:10Speaker 00

  Carissa, since you are the author, what is this book about?

• 51:13Speaker 06

  Broadly speaking, this book is about Arthurian legend, but it is reimagined into a single story with a through line. And really for me, it is a story about what you do when you are backed up against the wall and you are trying to balance family and duty and all the responsibilities that you have and all the dreams that you have. What kind of person are you in that moment? You read draft after draft after draft.

• 51:38Speaker 00

  I haven't read it as many times as you, but yeah.

• 51:39Speaker 06

  You still cried at the end.

• 51:41Speaker 00

  Oh my gosh, I bawled twice.

• 51:43Speaker 06

  So, so that's a good thing. That's the endorsement I need. You are smiling so big and so am I right now. This is a really exciting moment. We're so excited to share this story with you.

• 51:54Speaker 00

  It's available for preorder right now. So I put some links in the show notes. They're all right there. And yeah, we're so excited for you to read it and hear it, actually. The audiobook will be us on mic for so many hours.

• 52:05Speaker 06

  Yeah. So For the King, published by William Morrow, preorder it today.

• 52:18Speaker 00

  The creature this time is the Wappalusi, a fearsome critter from North America. Saying caterpillar squirrel doesn't really communicate, I think, just how off-putting it would be to see a Wappalusi. It's a squirrel the size of a small dachshund, which would already be a little scary, but to add to the fact that it looks like a dachshund with its long body, it has woodpecker-like talons instead of feet and a spiked tail. It's said to be like a squirrel that climbs effortlessly up a tree, you know, because squirrels are such famously bad climbers. And it does so like a caterpillar. It extends its front half out, grabs on, brings up the back half to meet it, and causes its back to fold and

• 52:59Speaker 00

  makes sort of a hump. It uses its spiked tail to hold on when it needs extra grip. I don't know about you, but this seems like way more effort than I've seen any squirrel ever used to climb. But those squirrels don't get to feast on the bracket fungus that grows high in the trees, so you know, lucky Wappaloozie. As we talked about long ago in episode 66, the wild regions of North America used to be covered in tall, old-growth forests, few of which now remain. Looking out my window in suburban Ohio, I'm not seeing much bracket fungi toward the tops, but I also don't see a lot of trees that could support a dachshund squirrel beyond the first dozen or so feet, so that could explain why these are no longer with us in noteworthy numbers.

• 53:44Speaker 00

  It's for sure not because of their pelts. The first few lumberjacks who saw these noticed two things: they looked really soft, and they were remarkably easy to kill. For a very little while, the plush gloves made from them protected cold lumberjack fingies, but they made an already dangerous profession even worse, because loosening the grip on axes, the lumberjacks found that the fur had a mind of its own and would reflexively climb up any axe handle or tool to reach the top. Unable to get it under control, the lumberjacks threw the gloves away, and they were all last seen slinking through the underbrush toward the nearest tree.

• 54:30Speaker 00

  That's it for this time. Myths and Legends is by Jason and Carissa Weiser. Our theme song is by Broke for Free, and the Creature of the Week music is by Steve Colmes. There are links to even more of the music we used in the show notes. Thank you so much for listening, and we'll see you next time.

• 54:51Speaker 04

  ChatGPT for Teens is designed to help teens learn, think critically, and grow their skills. ChatGPT for Teens supports active learning by breaking concepts down rather than giving teens the answer. Study mode helps teens work through problems, and interactive quizzes test their knowledge and provide immediate feedback. Safety protections are on by default, and parental controls offer families additional options like setting study hours and quiet hours. Visit chatgpt.com/parents to learn more.

• 55:18Speaker 06

  Hey, it's Lunchbox from the Bobby Bones Show. Bye. Drive for less and trade for more. That's Toyota affordability and it starts with a great deal on an all-wheel-drive Camry, Corolla Cross, or a Corolla Sedan with the latest features in tech. Or test drive a spacious Grand Highlander or an adventure-ready RAV4. And with so many hybrid models available, you can enjoy longer trips without all the stops, while Toyota's legendary resale value means you could get more at trade-in. Get a deal today and great value tomorrow. Shop toyota.com for deals and details. Toyota, let's go places.

• 55:57Speaker 06

  Hey, I'm Niall Rogers. This fall, I'll be driving across the country, meeting some of today's coolest and most fascinating artists. We'll explore the stories before the moments that changed everything. Because every musician remembers the moment where it all began. Experience Before the Moment, a Lincoln original series, on the iHeartRadio app, YouTube, or wherever you get your podcasts.