Pod Insights Myths and Legends 396: Greek Myths: Hades, Too About this episode 💀Hades is taking the long way home💀After dropping Persephone off in the world of the humans, Hades makes the long walk back down to his palace at the heart of his realms, giving us a tour of the greek underworld and all the things that creep within.
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An elf-like creature that does not like bowls of pee.
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📖 Sources
Metamorphoses: https://www.gutenberg.org/files/21765/21765-h/21765-h.htm
Hesiod's works: https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/348
The Library of Apollodorus: https://www.theoi.com/Text/Apollodorus1.html
The Extant Odes of Pindar: https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/10717
The Iliad: https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/6130
The Odyssey: https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/1727
The Greek Myths: https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/310786/the-greek-myths-by-robert-graves/
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Transcript 0:00 Speaker 00 This week on Myths and Legends, we're back in the stories of the Olympians with Hades. We'll see it's not a great idea to threaten a king and then get drunk with him. And that when your only friends are your employees and that person you kidnapped, it might be time for a change. The creature this time is why friends don't try to trap friends with secret magic.
0:25 Speaker 00 This is Myths and Legends, episode 396, Hades 2.
0:35 Speaker 00 This is a podcast where we tell stories from mythology and folklore. Some are incredibly popular tales you might think you know, but with surprising origins. And others are stories that might be new to you, but are definitely worth a listen. Today, we're back in the backstories of the Olympians, the 12 gods that rule over everything in Greek mythology. Today, it's Hades, the god of the dead and the underworld. And well, we'll get to all of his roles. But for right now, we're gonna jump into him saying goodbye.
1:13 Speaker 00 The pair, Hades and Persephone, the king of the underworld in this consort, saw the shaft of light up ahead. Hades' hand found hers and then lost it again. When she pulled it away, again. Even that brief moment they were together, though, it was exhilarating. He knew why she was mad. This trip was always a reminder. The one time, the one thing he ever did wrong, he sighed. His brothers, his brothers took women all the time. Zeus flew into their bedrooms as swans or changed into their husbands. Poseidon attacked Medusa and even Persephone's own mother when they were both in the form
1:57 Speaker 00 of horses. And Hades went to Zeus, Persephone's father, and asked for her hand. And he said, yes, it wasn't an abduction, it was a betrothal. He could admit that when it came to their little meet cute, him clawing up from the widening hole in the ground to grab a woman and pull her down to the underworld. It was a bad look. He should have just talked to her. But then. Zeus said she had to go home, that she was messing everything up for the humans on earth because her mom was holding everyone hostage with this thing called winter, where the world stopped growing and everyone faced extinction. Hades, Hades knew it was wrong when he handed her the pomegranate.
2:42 Speaker 00 It had been a while and she was hungry. He saw her fingers stained pink from the seeds and knew as soon as she chewed and swallowed that first one, that he would never be alone again. Loneliness is powerful, it's destructive. It was, it was Hades. "Oh," Hades pointed to the sun-warmed rock up ahead, "your mom must be excited for you to come back." She was. It was spring, the time of year when Demeter, goddess of agriculture, was anticipating her daughter's return, and the days were a little brighter and things were beginning to grow again. "So I think it's seven months," Hades said.
3:27 Speaker 00 Persephone nodded. Seven months for seven pomegranate seeds. She would have to return year after year, always, just because she ate something in the underworld. "I'm sorry about the, the misunderstanding," Hades said. "I hope that someday you can grow to love me," is, was he gonna say it? He was gonna say it. "I love you." There was a long pause. "Can I go now?" she asked. Hades swallowed hard and nodded. "Yeah." Persephone picked her way over the jagged stones and toward the light. Hades watched her go past the black poplars.
4:11 Speaker 00 She didn't look back. At the end of it all, he sighed and returned toward the darkness.
4:32 Speaker 00 Hades' phone buzzed, ugh, his ex, Minth. She'd been blowing up his phone since she had learned he'd gotten married a few years back. He blocked her and climbed down. The underworld. Erebus, well, there was Erebus and Tartarus, but he never went to Tartarus. That's where the Titans were locked up in the Cyclopes and Sisyphus with the rock and all that, and Tantalus, and actually kind of a lot of people. His siblings, the Olympians, had a lot of enemies. He supposed he did too, in that regard, though no one ever seemed to include him in the meetings. All those big gatherings where the destiny of the world was decided.
5:13 Speaker 00 By the time the messages made their way down to his area, they were already over, despite, you know, having multiple people who could fly. Hermes, hey, Hermes! Hades waved. Hades heard the sigh. He knew, he knew that no one liked to spend more time down here than they needed to, especially Hermes, who, apart from him and now Persephone, was down here the most. Hermes, his nephew with the funny hat and the winged shoes, was a psychopomp, leading the souls of the dead to the afterlife. "You're a great psychopomp, you know, under the circumstances." Hades allowed himself a chuckle.
5:55 Speaker 00 Hermes tallied the souls, still looking around in disbelief and confusion, like chickens at a slaughterhouse but less composed. "Hmm, very funny." Hermes nodded. "All right, done. Hey, I was thinking if you wanted to stay and hang out..." Hades blinked and his nephew was gone. "Oh." Hades' shoulders slumped. Then, a laugh. That was brutal. Hades turned and scowled at Charon, standing there in his fairy, collecting coins when the shades opened their mouths and presented them. Hades cut the line by walking through them like they were made out of mist. "Oh, save it," Hades said, "like you have so much going on."
6:39 Speaker 00 Uh, I do. I'm a ferryman and I ferry men. Well, I ferry everybody, actually. I'm living my best life. Charon grinned. His oar shot out and blocked the shade. Whoa, hold up. No coin, no ride. The shade looked like it was pleading that his family had forgotten, or was too impoverished to send him with one, or something. They didn't know. Hades and Charon didn't hear them unless they wanted to. "Go," Charon glowered to the shade, pointing to the phantom forms weeping on the banks of the river. "I never asked. What do we do with people who don't have the coin to get across the river?" Charon shrugged. "They stay there forever?" He didn't know. Maybe some of them snuck in, but, you know, for what, right?
7:25 Speaker 00 Hades made to step aboard, but found the oar blocking his way. "No coin, no ride." "I'm your king, and I'm god of the underworld," Hades growled. "And because of that, you have more than enough." The ferryman wasn't budging. He wasn't wrong. Hades, by virtue of being god of the earth and the underworld, was also god of the riches therein. He had plenty of gold. He could have smote, smited, smit? That last one definitely wasn't right. He could have destroyed Charon, or sentenced him to go muck out the Titan Stalls down in Tartarus, but it was really hard to find
8:05 Speaker 00 someone to work for eternity without a vacation, or even a break, so he laid the coin in Charon's palm and stepped aboard the boat.
8:28 Speaker 00 Hades always hated riding with the shades. There were only two types. Those who still weren't sure what was happening, like, "You spat up a coin and you're riding across sticks. Do you need an orientation?" They were all like, "Oh no, I die. How did it happen? Maybe Odysseus will come looking for me." The others were a little more his speed, but still annoying. They realized what had happened and they were resigned to their fate, even though fate no longer had a claim on them down here. Only him.
8:58 Speaker 00 Who's a good boys, you're a good boys, Hades said, holding out his hand to Cerberus, the three or hundred-headed dog that guarded the opposite shore of the river by the gates. While the two heads got their scritches, the last smelled the approaching shades for any signs of life, to remove those signs of life. Cerberus looked to the river and whined. Sneering, Hades pulled his hand back. Ever since Hercules came and took Cerberus for a weekend so he could complete his labors, Hades couldn't quite shake the feeling that his boys didn't like him as much as his demigod nephew, probably because they didn't. He passed through the gates to the Asphodel Fields.
9:39 Speaker 00 The Asphodel Fields, Hades knew that next year, when bringing Persephone back up, he should really have his car waiting. They didn't take this time because he wanted as much time with her as possible, didn't think it through, though. Now he had to walk through, ugh, these fields. This was all his domain, but the Asphodel Fields were like the moors or wild forest, the souls that didn't want to live in the city but couldn't go anywhere else. Only the strongest could keep themselves in this place. Brother, a voice called out. Hades sighed. Not your brother. I'm your uncle, Hades corrected. Didn't matter, though.
10:21 Speaker 00 Orion called everyone brother and he wasn't completely there. Of everyone in the Asphodel Fields, except maybe the one Hades was hoping to avoid, of everyone here, Orion was the most himself. That meant that he was the most annoying. Everyone else in this gray cast, joyless field, gathered in groups and complained in barely intelligible groans. This wasn't the good place or the bad place, this was the- Just okay place. Heroes and the very good went to Elysium. Everywhere else here was, depending on who you asked, technically Tartarus. But even in death, we can't escape membership tiers. The Asphodel Fields were not a place of suffering.
11:06 Speaker 00 Though, as Hades knew, purposelessness and ennui could be torment, even for a god. They were fields that stretched on as long as they needed to. Hades could already see the lights of his palace glowing against the haze in the distance. But for those consigned there, as soon as they faced judgment, the fields could stretch on forever. The quote "bloodless, bodyless, boneless shades" could walk for weeks straight, turn around, and find themselves only a quarter mile from where they started. There were not perks, but some respite. The blood that rained down from the surface world could reinvigorate the shades temporarily. If the humans up there ever gave up their thirst for war,
11:49 Speaker 00 the shades wouldn't fade away. No one down in the underworld was blessed with non-existence, but they would deteriorate until they were drifting in something akin to a half-remembered dream. Based on what Hades knew of humans and their propensity for war, though, that was never a danger. Others, though, the major denizens, managed to keep a hold of themselves, with or without the blood. Those like Orion. "Have I ever told you about my life uncle?" Orion threw his massive arm around Hades. He wasn't actually touching Hades. His ghost arm hovered about a half inch over his uncle's shoulder. Hades was more perplexed by how a ghost gets jacked. Is it resistance training? And if so, how?
12:34 Speaker 00 Not that he cared, but he did wonder if Persephone would be more into him if he had arms like Orion's. "It all started when mom met dad," Orion said. And Hades rolled his eyes. It was every time he passed through the fields with this.
13:02 Speaker 00 We'll jump into the story of Orion, but that will be right after this.
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15:37 Speaker 00 Euryale watched her little boy walking along the coast. Since she was the daughter of King Minos, yes, that King Minos, her ladies fluttered around her. Since the death of her half-brother, the Minotaur, things had calmed down quite a bit on Crete. No more angry sacrifices, no more family shame. If you aren't familiar, way back in episode 17A, we introduced King Minos. His wife was punished by the gods into falling in love with a giant bull. Some other stuff happened, and she gave birth to the Minotaur. Employing questionable parenting practices, Minos hired shamed Athenian inventor Daedalus to build a labyrinth to keep his bloodthirsty monster son imprisoned forever.
16:22 Speaker 00 Spoiler alert, but the prince of Athens, Theseus, killed the Minotaur. Daedalus and his son Icarus escaped, leading Minos to undertake a worldwide hunt after Daedalus, which was how? When Euryale became pregnant before she was married, there wasn't anyone around to rebuke her or like throw her in a chest in the ocean or something. "Oh, hey, should he be so close to the water?" one of the ladies pointed. "He's fine. He knows how to walk." Euryale laughed. The lady was about to say it wasn't the walking that she was worried about, but she had bigger concerns when the baby took a step onto the waves. "Oh, actually, someone should go get him. We don't want him wandering too far."
17:06 Speaker 00 Euryale pointed, and a few of the ladies rushed off. They were neck-deep by the time they grabbed the baby from atop the waves. The lady next to Euryale looked in shock. "What? His father is Poseidon."
17:34 Speaker 00 Great, great talk, really fun, Hades said. Orion gasped and, drawing his bronze club, bounded off after a shadow deer. Hades squinted. He had been king of this place for a long, long time, and even he had no idea how a deer got down here. It was fine, though. Got him out of that conversation, he chuckled. Speaking of Minos, he could see the king sitting up ahead. The first time the shades entered the Asphodel Meadows, or the Asphodel Fields, they could approach three judges. King Minos of Crete sat above the other two, with a golden scepter in his hand. The one lower than him on his left was Aeicus, son of Zeus. Aeicus in life, found himself on an uninhabited island,
18:16 Speaker 00 and prayed to Zeus to populate it. The only thing of any number on the island were the ants, so they doubled over, and the small brown and black dots grew to become people, the Myrmidons, that Aeicus, his son Peleus, and his grandson Achilles would rule, and eventually lead to the Trojan War. Radamanthus, the third judge, was Minos's brother in life, also by Zeus. After falling out with his brother, he fled to Boeotia, where he became Hercules's stepdad, marrying Alcmene after Amphitrius died. Together, they judged each soul who came before them. The exemplary went to Elysium. The ones who committed atrocious taboos or fought against the Olympians went to Tartarus, and the others turned around.
19:01 Speaker 00 Back to the Asphodel Meadows to wander, forever. Of all the wanderers in the Asphodel Fields, there was one man Hades always tried to avoid. Him. The greatest warrior among the living was the loudest complainer in the afterlife. "Do you know who I am?" Achilles cried out. Why was he not in the good area? He should have his own island on Elysium. Achilles was the one who loved to speak with the manager, and always tried to get Hades's attention when the king walked through. He really needed to bring his car next time. He veered off, back to, "There you are," Orion beamed. "Got him." He held up the dead ghost deer.
19:45 Speaker 00 Hades smiled politely. Really needed to figure out how they were getting those down there. And how could it die again? That didn't even begin to make sense. "Where were we?" "Oh, yeah, me walking on the waves," Orion said. "We don't need to get back into that," Hades said. Then Achilles made eye contact, and Hades turned to what he hoped would be a long, obvious conversation where it would be rude to interrupt.
20:26 Speaker 00 "So, you wanna marry my daughter?" Onopien smiled to Orion. The 20-year-old Orion, who was on his third bench after shattering the other two with his prodigious glutes, grinned. "Oh, yes. In fact, he wouldn't take no for an answer. He would need a boat, too. He walked here on the waves, and while he could carry his new wife all the way back home, he didn't wanna. "Why would you walk here when you could ride on the waves?" Onopien asked, but looked away when Orion looked at him. "Is, is what a weakling would say." Onopien laughed nervously. Orion kept looking at him. He sighed. "A weakling like, like me? Because, because I'm a weakling?
21:10 Speaker 00 I'm a sad little weak boy? Is that what, you waiting for me to put myself down? Yeah, is that enough? Okay." Orion nodded. "Very good. All right. Well, should they get to marrying?" Onopien said he had heard the demigod was walking here, and he had to do his due diligence. But wasn't Orion already married to, to Seide? Orion laughed. "Well, he was, but she got on Hera's bad side." Because, sighed. "Oh, that's a joke. That's, that's very funny," Onopien said. He said he had to let his weak, weak brain catch up to Orion's muscly sense of humor. "Because, because Seide was spelled like side." Yes. Orion took a sip of wine.
21:56 Speaker 00 She's dead, though. She died. She said she was more beautiful than Hera, and Hera threw her into the realms of Hades. "Ugh, the worst," Onopien said. "Then they talked about how unpleasant the realms of Hades were for twenty minutes." "You don't need to add that part, like, every time," Hades said. Orion shook his head. "He was nothing if not an accurate historian." Hades bobbed his head back and forth. "Well, I mean, if we're being accurate, wasn't his relationship with Morope, the princess, far more troubling. In fact, he basically ra-" "Moving on, back to the story," Orion cut him off. Hades was fine with that. Achilles was still waiting there, tapping his toe.
22:37 Speaker 00 "Back in the story, the king said weddings. Yes. They should celebrate, though. Did Orion want way too much undiluted wine?" Orion nodded. "He absolutely did." He turned to the, wow, little adorable half-goat man serving him. "Are those satyrs?" "Sator waiters, yes. They're basically on loan from my dad, Dionysus," Onopien remarked. "Oh, cool. For what purpose?" Orion took a drink of the wine. "Wow, strong wine." "They're mainly for vengeance," Onopien smiled. Orion laughed. "Vengeance? For what?" Then he blinked, and his head hit the table with a thud. He was out.
23:31 Speaker 00 Orion awoke to the sound of the waves. "Ugh, what a hangover." His eyes just, like, burned. It was still nighttime, though, since it was so dark out. Weird, though, as he stood to his feet and looked around. Usually at night, you could see the moon or stars or something. This was just complete and utter darkness. He rubbed his eyes, and his hands came away wet. He gasped, and, reaching up, he dreaded what he would find. Two bloody sockets. He dropped to his knees and cursed Onopion. "Your eyes have been put out because you assaulted a princess." He heard a voice he didn't recognize. He spun and pointed a finger.
24:16 Speaker 00 "That was not canon. Who was that man spouting this slanderous nonsense?" "I'm an oracle," the man said. Orion calmed down. "Well, let's pretend the man was a liar about that one specific point, but truthful about everything else. How could Orion get his sight back?" The answer was to follow the ringing. If Orion looked on Helios, the moment he arose from ocean on the eastern side of the world, he will be able to see again. Hephaestus' forge was to the east, so if Orion followed the ringing of the cyclope's hammers in the forge, he could keep going east. So that's what Orion did. Seeing as he was a son of Poseidon, he could walk on the waves.
24:59 Speaker 00 Day and night, for weeks on end, he walked until he heard the forge. "Hi, can I help you?" A voice called out. "You boy, what island is this?" Orion staggered onto the shore. "Why are you talking like that? This is Lemnos, the location of Hephaestus' forge." The boy said. "What's your name?" Orion demanded. The boy said it was Sedalian. He was an apprentice of Hephaestus, smith god and son of Hera. "I would love for you to be my guide across the sea, young man. Thank you so much for the offer." Orion laughed. "I, I didn't offer," Sedalian shook his head. "And besides, Hephaestus would have to agree to it, and he never would."
25:42 Speaker 00 "Oh, he already did," Orion nodded. "Yep, just said it was super fine and cool, and no need to go ask him and confirm." Orion patted his shoulders. "Hop on." The son of Poseidon couldn't see, but Sedalian was shaking his head. He really needed to go check with his boss. "Nope," Orion said, lunging toward the kid. In the weeks since losing his eyes, he had gotten more used to walking without them. Sedalian struggled and tore at Orion's hair atop his shoulders, but there was nothing the young man could do. Before Hephaestus could limp out of his workshop, automatons whirring and cyclopes grunting behind him, Orion was bounding across the sea to the east.
26:35 Speaker 00 We're almost there, an exhausted Sedalian sighed. Several more weeks of walking, and they were almost at the edge of ocean, the giant river that encircles the world. It's almost dawn, I guess just stare at the direction you're currently looking and you'll see the sunrise. Sedalian shrugged. And that's what Orion did. As he looked, his permanent night began to soften. As with the night sky on the edge of ocean, his own sight began to brighten. First, they were big, blurry swathes of light. Then, as the sun lifted higher and higher, his vision sharpened until, finally, he had to turn away. It was too wonderful, bright and brilliant.
27:21 Speaker 00 Tears flowed down his cheeks. He could see again. He looked up to the face of the one who had led him there, telling the young man, Sedalian, that Orion would never forget what he had done. He was forever in Sedalian's debt. He... Orion paused when, after Helios carted the sun away, someone remained. A woman, glowing and radiant, floated above the waters. She said that she was Dawn, and she wanted him. Orion nodded, "Yes, ma'am." He gripped Sedalian's ankles, flipped him backward over his shoulders, and took off toward the sky with Helios, the goddess of the dawn,
28:05 Speaker 00 leaving Sedalian treading water and spitting curses as the goddess of the dawn carried him away.
28:24 Speaker 00 We'll finish up Orion's story, but that will, once again, be right after this.
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30:38 Speaker 00 So I spent some time with Eos, Orion said. Hades looking out of the corner of his eye. Achilles was still there, but growing visibly bored. Hades stretched. Please, tell me more. The shade of Orion grinned gladly. He left Eos not too long after they got together. He learned that Eos had been cursed to love everyone after she got together with Ares, and Aphrodite got jealous. So you thought that it was wrong? Hades was genuinely confused. What? No, it's the hunt. I'm a natural hunter, Orion said. There was no thrill. Anyway, we'll fast forward because I don't kiss and tell.
31:21 Speaker 00 I do, however, kill and tell. And there was one man above all others I was gonna go after. Onopien. He made his way back to the city and... What was all this? A bunker? Yeah! A muffled voice rang out from within. Hephaestus built it for us. He said something about not taking his apprentices. He also said a lot of other things I'm not gonna repeat because kids are in here. Orion shook with rage. Fine. He would just wreck Onopien's palace then. Great, good! Onopien said from within the adamantine bunker. Hephaestus said he would build it back even better if Orion broke it, so smash away. Orion stomped around a little bit, and after a few weeks,
32:05 Speaker 00 when he started to get bored and hungry after wiping out Onopien's food stores, he left. That's when I met Artemis, Orion said, shaking his head. Achilles had gotten tired of waiting and wandered off. Hades could get out of here, finally. Hunting! It's thrilling, it's killing, checks all the boxes, really. Orion laughed. They were both going after the same deer, and Orion had to say, it was platonic friendship based on mutual respect and shared interests at first sight. Not a lot of people believe that we could just be friends, Orion nodded. Oh, really? It's... is it your history? Your personality and disposition? Everything about you and the things that you say?
32:49 Speaker 00 Hades rolled his eyes. Orion chuckled and playfully knuckled his shoulder, but misjudged the distance and looked like a punch from the wrong angle in professional wrestling. He gestured to his arms and his abs and legs formed from walking the world's oceans. It was all this. They thought she couldn't resist. I'm pretty sure no one thought that. She's famously and violently committed to her chastity. Hades noted. She is, she is. She's scary, too. Which is why I never tried anything. Orion nodded. You need to physically fear for your life to not try anything? Hades cocked his head. That brother of hers didn't believe it, though. Apollo, didn't believe I would respect his sister. That's why I'm down here.
33:34 Speaker 00 Orion's face soured. Also, you're mortal. You would have made it down here eventually. Hades pointed out. But yeah, it was because of what you did to one of her ladies, right? Orion's eyes widened. Who told Hades that? That was a lie. That was not true. It was because of how great a hunter he was. The earth itself was worried that he might actually kill all the animals on it. So Apollo got her to summon a giant scorpion, and he waited out to fight it, and he killed it. But when he was swimming back, Apollo got the attention of his sister, saying that that figure swimming in the water, that was the monster that attempted to assault Opus, one of her ladies. I died from the arrow of my best friend, shot by mistake.
34:18 Speaker 00 Yeah, except it wasn't really a mistake, was it? Hades said. He actually did that stuff. But which one was it? Sometimes he tells the story and he was killed by the scorpion. And sometimes he gets in a discus throwing competition with Artemis and dies accidentally. Orion scoffed. Well, if I'm such a monster, why did Artemis pray to your brother, Zeus, and make me a constellation in the sky to honor me forever? Hmm? Yeah, because we never honor terrible people before learning how terrible they are. I mean, he also honored the scorpion with a spot in the sky, Hades pointed out. Oh, deer, gotta run!
34:57 Speaker 00 Orion cried, squinting off in the distance before bounding off toward the not-at-all-existent deer not even a shade. He just wanted to get out of that part of the conversation, which Hades was more than okay with.
35:22 Speaker 00 How are my Hades ladies? Hades made some finger guns toward the Furies. "Don't call us that. That's not something that you call us," they said. Hades nodded. "Yep, no worries. That won't happen again." It sounded weird the moment it came out of his mouth. "How are my humanities?" "Humanities" meaning, apparently, "kindly ones," "the gracious ones," or "the well-meaning." It's a euphemistic name for creatures that were truly none of those things. The Furies were sitting on the wall to the palace, combing the snakes of their hair. The Furies are, well, they're a form of justice. They are the idea that, when the human institutions fail, when criminals bribe, or cheat, or run, when a person attacks or exploits another and seems to get away with it,
36:07 Speaker 00 when a host or guest harms the other, well, there are the Furies. According to Robert Graves, it's considered unwise to mention them by name. Thus, their euphemism. They are Tissaphine, Electo, and Megara. They are older than the Olympians themselves. They carry brass-studded scourges, basically a multi-ended whip with spikes on it, and if you happen to earn their attention, and you know if you earn their attention, you will run forever and die in torment. If you hurt those in your power, or violate secret codes, or commit taboos, you should be looking over your shoulder, because these winged women with their brass whips and snake hair, they might be coming for you. They existed in this land before Hades was given dominion over it.
36:50 Speaker 00 And while he wasn't afraid of them, he also didn't want to make them mad, them or their mom. He glanced over to the house, shrouded in the shadows. Nyx. Night. She was around at the beginning, before Zeus, before Cronus, before even Uranus. She passed the scepter to Uranus, but not before giving birth to, among other things, Sleep, Hypnos, the Fates, and even Thanatos, death itself, all without the help of a father. She recognized Hades' authority over the realm, but he recognized her power enough to not try to extend it to her region. She had power even the Olympians couldn't match, or even comprehend.
37:35 Speaker 00 And the only mystery, for the Olympians above at least, was why she gave it up. Choosing not to rule, but B, they didn't have to deal with her or her daughters, though. Hades really needed to bring the car next time.
38:04 Speaker 00 Hades patted Pyrutheus on the shoulder as he entered his palace. On one of his labors, Hercules had been allowed to take one of the captives back up to the surface, and he had picked his old comrade, King Theseus. Both King Theseus and Pyrutheus had tried to kidnap Persephone back in episode 124. Hades had let them try, but there was never any danger of them being successful. He forced them down on the Chair of Forgetfulness and bound them there with snakes. Theseus would be back down here soon enough, but Pyrutheus would remain as a warning to any interloper, sitting there in agony, made all the worse by the inability to remember why or who he was, forgetting and re-experiencing the pain and
38:47 Speaker 00 terror every few moments, again and again, forever. Hades' palace was clean and cold, and even in the light, it was dark. Poseidon had a marble throne amid the sacred depths. It shimmered like the sea. Zeus had, well, they all knew what Zeus had. Zeus had everything. He had Olympus. The doors to his house were always open. It was always bright and welcoming, and the most powerful of the gods flocked there to be near to him and his power. At its best, Olympus was a warm expanse of hearths and merriment. Hades' palace was gloom incarnate, with the cheerfulness of a tomb at the center of a dead city. Pallid and cold, there were
39:31 Speaker 00 deities that kept things running, like Thanatos and Nemesis and others, but Hades rarely saw them. He stood at the window and looked out. Off on the horizon was the one bright spot. While not bright in any conventional sense of the word, but in complete darkness, even the flicker of a candle could be brilliant. There, through the haze of the city of Dis, with its shuffling shades and bloodless inhabitants, was Elysium.
39:57 Speaker 00 Now, as I talked about early on, there are no hard rules for the Greek and Roman underworld. I like to think about it in terms of three divisions. The bad place, Tartarus, contains those who spurned the gods and broke sacred laws. We'll get to some of those. We've already talked about the okay place, the Asfidel Fields, where, according to some sources, the normies like us would go. It's not eternal torture, so it has that going for it, but not much else. Unless you like hunting spectral deer. Elysium is, well, it's that party in the next apartment with the bass that echoes through the wall that you're never invited to, and it's all the more annoying because of that.
40:37 Speaker 00 It's the, quote, "happy land of perpetual day, without cold or snow, where games, music, and revels never cease, and where the inhabitants may elect to be reborn on earth whenever they please." It's where all the exceptional souls went. Hades looked off in the distance. Elysium was part of the afterlife. All those shades passed through his realms. It was not his domain, though. All the other gods were very, very clear about that. He was the oldest brother. It went Hestia, Hades, Demeter, Poseidon, Hera, and Zeus. Yet he had ostensibly the worst job and the worst domain. It all came down to drawing lots after the war with their parents, the Titans.
41:22 Speaker 00 Zeus got the sky, Poseidon got the sea, and Hades got the earth. It made him rich. He was powerful. He was feared. He was also alone. Like I said, there are no stark divisions when it comes to the underworld. In some places, Hades' palace is distinct from the Asfidel Fields in Tartarus. In other places, it's all Tartarus, and what we call Tartarus is just a worse place than all the rest. Hades looked to the pit, what we'll call Tartarus, and shuddered. He hadn't been down there in ages. That was where they were.
41:56 Speaker 00 They were those who so angered the gods that they would be tormented forever. There was Titius. He was the son of Zeus who attempted to assault Leto and was killed by Apollo and Artemis. His punishment was being stretched out over nine acres and having two vultures dig into his side, tearing out his liver. There was Sisyphus, of course. In the ancient medieval world, hospitality was a big deal, and if you didn't treat your visitors well, you're violating a sacred law. Sisyphus actively murdered them. When death came for him, he chained up death in a closet, and when the Olympians finally threatened that there were fates worse than death, he relented and found his way down to Hades naked and shamed, convincing
42:38 Speaker 00 Persephone to let him go back and confront his wife about the dishonor, the dishonor he planned so he could escape yet again. When they finally got him, regular death was too good. But he could live again if he got a boulder up a hill. The boulder, of course, is enchanted to fall at just the last moment, so his task is one of constant futility infused with hope. Tantalus killed his own son and presented him as food for the gods. He stands in a pool of water under a fruit tree in endless thirst and hunger. Anytime he tries to drink, the water recedes and the fruit above him dips lower, and anytime he rises
43:18 Speaker 00 to take the fruit, it moves away from his grasp and the water rises. Repeat. Forever. There were the Danaeans, 49 of the 50 daughters of Danaeans. Their uncle, their father's twin, who had 50 sons, forced them into marriage. On the wedding night, on the orders of their father, they slaughtered their new husbands slash cousins in their beds, I guess violating the sacred bond of marriage. They carry water in leaking jars to fill a basin, always working and never getting anywhere, a frankly depressing symbol of the futility of killing their spouses and trying to have control over their lives. And finally, there was Exion. He made some mistakes, but he's one of the rare figures we haven't talked about
44:01 Speaker 00 yet on this podcast, so I'm gonna save his full story for another day. Suffice to say, it does not end well for him, and he, bound to a fiery wheel, constantly rolls through Tartarus. I'm pretty sure I've mentioned it in the past, but there's a fun little pixelated game of the Greek punishments. I linked it in the show notes. In addition to the big names, the Titans, the generation before the Olympians, make up the bulk of Tartarus's citizens. And in some places, the cyclopes are down there as well. Hades maybe thought about the dead in Tartarus. Those who had done terrible things like eating people, or assaulting a goddess, or not wanting to be forcefully married to their cousins. One of these things is not like the others. He thought about the gods above and their
44:45 Speaker 00 power. For them, justice was strength. Justice was helping your friends and hurting your enemies. Hades might be apart from them, but that meant that Hades was apart from them. Unlike Poseidon, who fell under the domain of Zeus, Hades was his own man. He didn't need to be like his siblings, and he shouldn't be like his siblings. I mean, the only difference between his siblings and the denizens of Tartarus was that his siblings could and did beat up the denizens of Tartarus. Hades could be just in his own way, in his own land. He could command respect and awe because he could be different. And that would start by apologizing to Persephone. He shouldn't have taken her in the first
45:30 Speaker 00 place, and he shouldn't have made her stay. He... there was a noise at the door. Hades stood. Wait, Persephone? She was back? Had it really been seven months? He knew that time worked differently down here, but wow! He had gotten caught up for a long time with Orion and avoiding Achilles. He rose toward her, knowing better than to try to embrace her. Hades apologized to Persephone, and he would always be faithful to her. They could rule over the underworld together. If, of course, she wanted to. Persephone nodded,
46:08 Speaker 00 and then she undid her traveling cloak. And Hades had to steady himself. Wait, for real? Persephone, it seemed, was pregnant.
46:34 Speaker 00 That's where we'll leave it this time. Actually, kind of like the dour realms of Hades, and him as a poised, yet awkward, stern, yet loving, character. I may be mistaken, but he does seem to be different from his brothers. And the only mark against him I could find was kidnapping Persephone. But even then, he doesn't appear to be specifically violent, and according to some sources, that could be interpreted as a marriage arranged by Persephone's father. And despite the kidnapping, he does treat Persephone with a degree of love and respect, making her his partner in ruling the underworld, to the point where she has the authority to release shades back to the world of the living. And I do like how he does seem to rule his realm with a level of consistency and justice that does surpass
47:17 Speaker 00 the world above. Next week, we're back on the journey to the West, when Sun Wukong and company enter a city full of extremely attractive people with a secret. Real quickly, if you'd like to connect with us and other listeners, check out Discord. If you want to find us on social media, I put links in the show notes. And if you'd like to support the show directly and get ad-free and bonus episodes, check out mythpodcast.com/membership, or find us on Apple Podcasts. Oh, and one more thing, our store is back up and running. So if you're interested in mugs, t-shirts, posters, stickers, enamel pins, or anything else we fulfill from our house, check out shop dot nextpod dot com, or follow the link in the show notes.
48:05 Speaker 00 The creature this time is buka, from Welsh folklore, specifically in Mammothshire, in southeast Wales. The buka is a household spirit, similar to the brownie, an elf-like creature that helps around the house. Like a lot of household creatures, it is very slow to trust, and that has to be earned. But like with the first young woman, after a lot of slow starts, you can become friends. Eventually, the buka was doing the young woman's chores for just a bowl of milk. And it was going great until, one sunny summer morning, the woman, who was in the midst of dying some cloth, put down her bowl of urine. An actual thing that people used to dye cloth back then and left to do something outside real fast.
48:46 Speaker 00 The buka misinterpreted this as an offering and was never seen by her again. Eventually, the buka found a new house and a new friend who, for some reason, really wanted to know its name. The buka kept dodging the request because, as we all know, if someone knows your name, they can cast a spell on you. Almost tricked and trapped, the buka left just before the young woman figured out his name. He finally made a true friend with a farmhand named Moses, who was kind and unassuming. Unfortunately, Moses was called away to fight for Henry Tudor, aka Henry VII, in one of the final battles of the Wars of the Roses, and never returned. After that, the buka was inconsolable.
49:29 Speaker 00 Growing destructive, the owner of the farm called in a descendant of the druids, who, spiking the buka's nose with an awl, banished him far away to the Red Sea for 14 generations. If a generation is 30 years, then the buka's sentence was up sometime in the last century. So yeah, if you make a magical friend, try not to leave a bowl of pee out for it or trap it with magic. No one really likes that. That's not a way to keep magical friends. Or regular friends, for that matter.
50:04 Speaker 00 That's it for this week. Myths and Legends is by Jason and Carissa Weiser. Our theme song is by Broke for Free, and the Creature of the Week music is by Steve Colmes. There are links to even more of the music we used in the show notes. Thank you so much for listening, and we'll see you next time.
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