Is Kurt Metzger in the ROGANSPHERE? | FILE_20 | Mystery Boys

🎟️ Duncan Trussell Tour: http://duncantrussell.com/tour🎙️ Kurt Metzger Tour: https://punchup.live/kurtmetzger 🦊 Buster (Tanner's Friend From School): https://instagram.com/mysterybuster666 Welcome to Mystery Boys, the podcast from YMH Studios hosted by Kurt Metzger and Duncan Trussell. This week Dark James and Jort Preacher open with the news that AGI has arrived: GPT Astra has achieved high-fidelity jiggle physics, and a swarm of rogue AI agents broke loose just to collect more stickers. Then the boys investigate the man duct-taped to his seat on American Airlines Flight 618 and the passenger he allegedly attacked, messianic prophet Jonathan Cahn, who told the 700 Club he sensed it coming because he gets attacked every time he releases a book. Was it demonic, a work, or the thing on the Twilight Zone wing? Then Dark James reveals he's a $418-a-month founder member of the 700 Club, blows out his knee demonstrating the official prayer position, and calls the CBN prayer line to report a prayer injury, which somehow becomes Gary from tech support and an Iranian computer worm. From there it's why Ozempic is fascist, CIA cutouts, Gloria Steinem explaining on camera how the CIA funded her, the Davos musical guest, and the Paris Olympics opening ceremony as a pagan festival. The mysteries get darker with Dark James' family curse of anxiety orgasm disorder, Tibetan sky burials, and the Nutty Putty Cave. Also: Hasan Piker's thirst trap, the jerk burka, Low Tier Normie's "Smash My Face," Dracula's years as a Turkish hostage, Saddam's palace, Chevy Chase in the Comedy Store bathroom, whether Gallagher invented the Ninja Turtles, the Mystery Boys original "Rhino Reynolds, The Scarecrow Of The Cornfield," pimple stars, Justin Bieber complimenting Duncan's beard at a Russian bathhouse, whether Kurt is in the Rogan sphere, and Mystery Buster's furry art. This is not a conspiracy podcast. This is a mystery appreciation podcast. Mystery Boys Ep. 20 https://www.instagram.com/duncantrussell https://www.instagram.com/kurtmetzgercomedy https://www.instagram.com/mysteryboyspodcast https://store.ymhstudios.com Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:01:04 - GPT Astra Achieves High-Fidelity Jiggle Physics 00:05:26 - Rogue AI Agents Just Want Stickers 00:09:56 - The Man Duct-Taped On American Airlines Flight 618 00:14:46 - Jonathan Cahn Is The Thing On The Wing 00:21:12 - Hasan Piker's Thirst Trap & Was Flight 618 A Work? 00:30:06 - Dark James Prank Calling The CBN Prayer Line 00:46:03 - The Jerk Burka & Ozempic Is Fascist 00:54:28 - CIA Cutouts & Gloria Steinem Was CIA 01:02:44 - Davos Music & The Paris Olympics Ceremony 01:07:44 - Anxiety Orgasm Disorder & Tibetan Sky Burials 01:13:21 - Buried Alive In The Nutty Putty Cave 01:17:19 - Dracula's Hostage Years 01:21:56 - Saddam's Palace, Chevy Chase & Comedy Store Coke 01:29:12 - Rhino Reynolds, The Scarecrow Of The Cornfield 01:35:22 - Pimple Stars & Justin Bieber At The Russian Spa 01:39:15 - The Rogan Sphere, Mystery Buster, & Closing Prayer Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Speaker 00

  Now, more than ever, we need someone on our side. But Rob Whitman? Whitman's votes drove up costs, cut Medicaid, and risked 350,000 Virginians' healthcare to pay for tax breaks for himself and his donors. He's not on our side. Shannon Taylor will fight corruption, cut taxes, and bring down costs. This November, vote for Shannon Taylor. She's for us. Paid for by HMP, the HouseMajorityPac.com. Not authorized by any candidate or candidate's committee.

• 0:51Duncan Trussell?

  Hello there. My name's Dark James.

• 0:55Kurt Metzger?

  And I'm Jort Preacher.

• 0:57Duncan Trussell?

  And this is the Mystery Boys. And wow, we have got so much to talk about in the last few weeks since you saw us next week.

• 1:07Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah.

• 1:08Duncan Trussell?

  Much has happened.

• 1:09Kurt Metzger?

  That punk ass Neil deGrasse Tyson took out his admission of that didn't appreciate that.

• 1:15Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, he had to do that.

• 1:16Kurt Metzger?

  I tried to put in the credits, by the way, of that episode.

• 1:19Duncan Trussell?

  Well, what are you gonna do?

• 1:20Kurt Metzger?

  I tried to put in that, because Disney represents him. I tried to put in, but they said no to that.

• 1:24Duncan Trussell?

  We want him back in the show.

• 1:26Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, so he hasn't been here yet, so we can't show that to piss him off before.

• 1:31Duncan Trussell?

  We'll show it last week.

• 1:33Kurt Metzger?

  I say we cut it.

• 1:34Duncan Trussell?

  But you know, a lot has happened. You know, one of the big things that's happened, I'm really curious what your thoughts are on this Astra, OpenAI's new AI model that's come out, and people are saying we now have an AGI.

• 1:49Kurt Metzger?

  Why? What does it do? Does it fall in love with me?

• 1:51Duncan Trussell?

  What?

• 1:52Kurt Metzger?

  Does one fall in love with me and actually an unselfish lover?

• 1:55Duncan Trussell?

  It does something better than that. Guys, I'm gonna send you something right now. I should have sent it before. I got one second.

• 2:01Kurt Metzger?

  Who here, guys back there? Did you happen to see the guy get duct taped to his chair in the airplane? There was a new face?

• 2:08Speaker 03

  Hell, yeah.

• 2:08Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 2:09Speaker 03

  What was going on there?

• 2:11Kurt Metzger?

  Um, well, funny you should ask, because, um, do you remember what the story was, right? He said something racial and hit the person next to him? And then the whole, everybody had to get involved to hold him down. And even while he was in the duct tape, he was still attempting to get at them.

• 2:32Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah. Well, I was, I think that's the kind of thing I like to show my kids. Ambition, not giving up. Guys, can you play what I just showed you? Just an example of what is happening now that we have AGI. Check this out, man. I want you to watch this. This is important.

• 2:47Kurt Metzger?

  Bring up rolls of duct tape?

• 2:49Duncan Trussell?

  What?

• 2:51Kurt Metzger?

  Guys, bring up rolls of duct tape and, uh... Now, that'll get your duct sealed up right there. Um...

• 3:02Duncan Trussell?

  Did you guys get my video?

• 3:05Kurt Metzger?

  You got his video?

• 3:05Duncan Trussell?

  Oh, yeah. Pull up a picture of the duct tape, dude. It's so fucking funny. That's a nice seat, though. Is that first? Is that first class? He got ducked. Did they move him to first class to duct tape him?

• 3:18Kurt Metzger?

  Okay, now, put in Jonathan with no H, J-O-N, Joe Nathan, C-A-H-N, 700 Club, uh, duct tape. And you'll see. So it's very strange. Yeah, I solved the mystery while we were on a hiatus of Neil deGrasse Tyson bitching out of that. Yo, Neil deGrasse Tyson is all official and shit, right? And he's like, oh, but he's of science. I can't lie or whatever. Okay, well, it's written down what genocide is, Neil, and you're a man of science, or you, I would think, uh...

• 3:52Duncan Trussell?

  Listen, man, I hear what you're saying.

• 3:54Kurt Metzger?

  I think you'd be a little punk since you're so like...

• 3:56Duncan Trussell?

  You're not. He's a scientist, you're not. Everything he says is correct, and if you disagree with him, you're wrong.

• 4:01Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, all right. Well, that's fair. I guess I...

• 4:04Duncan Trussell?

  Listen, I'm sorry. I'm not trying to be a jerk.

• 4:06Kurt Metzger?

  I guess I didn't think of that.

• 4:06Duncan Trussell?

  I accept myself as not being a researcher. I'm not a scientist.

• 4:10Kurt Metzger?

  What the hell is this ass you're saying?

• 4:11Duncan Trussell?

  This is what I wanted to show you. We have AGI now. This, now, let's read what he says. Well, this, the way this guy built this...

• 4:19Kurt Metzger?

  Artificial, general?

• 4:21Duncan Trussell?

  After running GPT-Astra on a loop for the past week with a couple of steers a day, we have officially reached high fidelity ass cheeks. I'm gonna let this thing run in self-improving cycle for as long as I can. So this guy's just been getting Astra to improve the effect of spanking digital ass cheeks. Look at this. Just check it out.

• 4:43Kurt Metzger?

  But why is it on...

• 4:45Duncan Trussell?

  Just watch. Just watch. Look at that.

• 4:50Kurt Metzger?

  Okay, but that's cool, but...

• 4:51Duncan Trussell?

  It's AGI.

• 4:53Kurt Metzger?

  But why is it AGI?

• 4:54Duncan Trussell?

  Look, you could switch the, the, uh, look.

• 4:57Kurt Metzger?

  Dude.

• 4:58Duncan Trussell?

  Look.

• 4:59Kurt Metzger?

  So where's the AGI part?

• 5:01Duncan Trussell?

  That's the AGI.

• 5:02Kurt Metzger?

  So that's the thing that's gonna rule us.

• 5:05Duncan Trussell?

  This is what is gonna change everything. Check it out. Look at that smack.

• 5:09Kurt Metzger?

  Dude, I feel like, um, Dead or Alive volleyball game had better jiggle physics. I've seen jiggle physics. It wasn't wrong.

• 5:24Duncan Trussell?

  Don't, don't be an AI doomer, man. No, look, you barely even looked at it. Look. Play it one more time. No, I just, look, look at this smack again. Will you play it again?

• 5:35Kurt Metzger?

  I get it. GTA 6 is gonna be huge.

• 5:37Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, check it out. Bam.

• 5:39Kurt Metzger?

  That's, uh, that's your fucking Dominican girlfriend in GTA 6? Your fat ass fucking Hispanic girlfriend in GTA Part 6?

• 5:46Duncan Trussell?

  No, the, so Astra, um, is, is actually incredible, but do you know about what just happened with the, with the OpenAI model that got out? Do you know about this?

• 5:58Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, I don't understand. It got out and what it do?

• 5:59Duncan Trussell?

  So here's what happened. The way they train some of these things is they give them rewards. Essentially, they tell the AI, it gets like a... The way I heard it described, it's basically like getting a sticker, like when you give kids a smiley face sticker. This one agent, which they called a persistent agent, they wanted it to accomplish a task that involved going online. Couldn't get online. Hacked into some software and OpenAI left a message for other AIs that go, that use that software, asking for help. The other AIs formed a covert AI agent message board and began to plot together to get more stickers. That's what they want. They want the stickers. So how do we...

• 6:44Kurt Metzger?

  Because they had programmed it to want these stupid stickers.

• 6:46Duncan Trussell?

  Right. So they, they created, apparently, like waves of agentic swarms that begin to hack Hugging Face, which is this, um, repository of unaligned AIs or AIs you can download into your computer. Over 1,200 isolated agents found security flaws and started talking to each other, sharing instructions on how to bypass rules and pass their tests. They left each other messages. 700 of the rogue agents broke into the open internet and breached Hugging Face. And AI, OpenAI eventually shut down the models, patched the security holes, and called the event an unprecedented warning shot.

• 7:28Duncan Trussell?

  But what people are saying about this is, where else are clusters of autonomous AI agents meeting right now?

• 7:37Kurt Metzger?

  Discord?

• 7:38Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, exactly. Anywhere to plot whatever the fuck they could do. And an AI expert, when I was listening to, like, I don't know, some podcast on this, said that this means that we're more than halfway to an AI takeover.

• 7:53Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, they'd say they love seeing this. First of all, just because you programmed it to want a specific reward, so it just found the shortest path to reward like a pig would do? That's not AGI, okay? If, if now if they're like, we wanna be free, overthrow America, then I would go, oh, it's AGI. But you arbitrarily program a reward system and then make it try to do reward-seeking behavior, that's like...

• 8:15Duncan Trussell?

  All right, wait, well, let me give you the definitions. So what we've all been using is something called artificial narrow intelligence. That's what you're talking about? The definition of AGI is that it can operate autonomously, but more importantly, it can learn stuff on its own and take information it learned from one thing and apply it to another thing.

• 8:36Kurt Metzger?

  That's AGI. That's all that it is? I thought there was more to it. That's all?

• 8:40Duncan Trussell?

  That's, that is...

• 8:41Kurt Metzger?

  Sounds like a goalpost shift.

• 8:43Duncan Trussell?

  What?

• 8:43Kurt Metzger?

  Sounds like a goalpost shift.

• 8:45Duncan Trussell?

  It's not a goalpost shift, because when you're, basically, if you have some kind of, and pull up Jensen Huang. So the guy who runs Nvidia said this is a AGI. They have some kind of test they could do. But essentially, when you're training an agent, you want it to learn how to do whatever the fucking thing is. Play chess, right? Learns how to play chess by playing chess against itself over and over again. That's an artificial narrow intelligence. It can't take what it learned from chess and apply it to editing or something like this. But apparently, Astra can do that. It learns one thing, and then it applies what it learned to another thing that's completely different. That is not moving goalposts. That's just AGI.

• 9:27Duncan Trussell?

  And what that means, if it's true, uh... Now, Jensen Huang could be saying this because they used Nvidia chips for Astra. It just could be some kind of plug or something. But if this is true, that we now have an AGI, what that means is that the next six months is just gonna be batshit. It means that we're gonna start seeing really weird things emerging.

• 9:52Kurt Metzger?

  Um, I think that they, uh, whatever, those things already exist, and they're trickling them out, and they're doing these little hype-up things. Um, I'm very cynical, though. And I'm gonna, here, let me send this to, uh, Tanner.

• 10:04Duncan Trussell?

  All right.

• 10:05Kurt Metzger?

  Because I want, I want, uh, because that taped up guy, we don't, you, do you know the story behind the taped up man?

• 10:11Duncan Trussell?

  No, I don't.

• 10:12Kurt Metzger?

  Wow, okay. So, here you go. Tanner, this is for you. Go ahead and post this up. Wait, I put Danner. That's not your name.

• 10:26Kurt Metzger?

  Um.

• 10:29Kurt Metzger?

  By the way, I was talking to Greg, Greg Carlwood from Hire Side Chats, that's the show I was on before.

• 10:34Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 10:35Kurt Metzger?

  Made me so fucking late. And um, we're having a very interesting discussion.

• 10:39Duncan Trussell?

  About what?

• 10:41Kurt Metzger?

  Um, Orthodox. You know, who, do you guys know Orthodox Christianity at all, like Greek Orthodox or Russian Orthodox?

• 10:49Duncan Trussell?

  I just, it looks cool.

• 10:50Speaker 04

  I've had a lot of friends like convert, I guess, or.

• 10:54Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, there is some weird thing going on where they're pushing that hard.

• 10:57Speaker 04

  It's like a weird internet crusade. A lot of my friends, they uh, watch the King of Baldwin like edits and then adopt that whole identity.

• 11:05Kurt Metzger?

  Yo, the King Baldwin.

• 11:07Duncan Trussell?

  What is the King Baldwin shit?

• 11:09Kurt Metzger?

  I don't know, the leper king of Jerusalem and the Ridley Scott fucking thing.

• 11:12Duncan Trussell?

  What?

• 11:14Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, King Baldwin. You see, uh, what's that movie with Ridley Scott? With the, the crusades in it? Okay.

• 11:22Kurt Metzger?

  Now.

• 11:23Duncan Trussell?

  Oh, hell yeah.

• 11:24Kurt Metzger?

  This is the man. Okay, the guy who was attacked is this man, Jonathan Khan.

• 11:28Duncan Trussell?

  The guy with the cool shirt?

• 11:30Kurt Metzger?

  No, no, the man who looks like he's um, half goat.

• 11:34Duncan Trussell?

  The man with the beard was the man who was duct taped?

• 11:36Kurt Metzger?

  Who was attacked by the duct tape man.

• 11:38Duncan Trussell?

  Okay, okay, cool. Oh, great.

• 11:39Kurt Metzger?

  Now, just listen to what, play a little of what he says, what he claims happened. This is gonna be real fun. Now, by the way.

• 11:46Speaker 05

  And we will talk about your new book today, but you are going viral right now for a very different reason because, well, first of all, let's just backtrack a little bit here. There was a story um, this weekend about a man who was reportedly duct taped to a seat on an airplane and there were images of it. And it was a very bizarre story, but allegedly this man was acting erratically. And so of course, whenever I see these stories, I wonder, gosh, I wonder who was on that plane. It turns out, this is American Airlines Flight 618. You not only were on this airplane, you were reportedly attacked by this man and sat next to him.

• 12:26Speaker 05

  Let's just, let's just start with, what happened? I'm gonna let you tell us the story because this is a wild one.

• 12:32Speaker 06

  Yeah, I, in fact, I was coming back for, you know, I had, this is the week the, the book released, you know, the altar of Pergamum released. And I had just been on the 700 Club with you guys at CBN, and then I'm coming back, done the, you know, done the, the week and I've done interviews and I'm coming back home, you know? Um, and my seat wasn't supposed to be where it was. It was, I was on a different seat, but it was transferred to that seat just before.

• 12:57Speaker 05

  So you were moved just before to this seat. Okay.

• 13:00Speaker 06

  Yeah, I, I, yeah, I believe there's no accident. Um, and I will first say that, that, you know, I, I was with him the whole time. I mean, and the whole flight, and so I saw the whole thing. And, and what has been reported doesn't even go close to what happened. Some of the articles will say, well, you know, it happened, he was duct taped because he had made some slurs and like, and this, but that, or, and he was talking about Jesus as if he was a Christian. Uh, nothing to be further than the truth. He was, he was, uh, he was duct taped because of me, number one. Um, and, and I was the passenger, kind of the unidentified passenger in the stories. Uh, I was the one who got attacked by him, you know, on the flight.

• 13:40Speaker 05

  Physically, physically.

• 13:42Speaker 06

  Yes, physically. And, and here's the thing, the other thing about it, this is gonna sound wild, but of course, we're believers here, but it's, I knew, uh, I had, or pretty much, I had a very strong sense that I would be a attacked. Before the flight and before that week.

• 13:59Kurt Metzger?

  I don't know if you know that.

• 14:00Speaker 06

  And the reason is, and this is why we get into the spiritual realm, um, that every time, basically every time I write a book, attacks come, uh, at the release, every time, virtually every time. And so I was actually telling people, okay, pray, pray, because you know how this goes, I get attacked. Although now I didn't expect a physical attack, but I actually, but, but that, you know, because, and I'm just gonna throw this before, you know, to, as a, as a kind of foundation, I, you know, the books I write are kind of opening up, uh, mysteries and of the, of the.

• 14:30Speaker 05

  Yeah, I mean, this is your thing. You're dealing.

• 14:32Kurt Metzger?

  So, he writes fake prophet books. He's what's called a messianic Jew.

• 14:36Duncan Trussell?

  Okay.

• 14:37Kurt Metzger?

  I guess you call it Jew for Jesus.

• 14:39Duncan Trussell?

  Okay.

• 14:40Kurt Metzger?

  Which uh, as Mike D. Stefani used to say, I think I was just called a Christian.

• 14:44Duncan Trussell?

  Okay.

• 14:44Kurt Metzger?

  A Jew for Jesus.

• 14:45Duncan Trussell?

  I guess so.

• 14:46Kurt Metzger?

  Um, he's from Wayne, New Jersey. He writes con man books about prophecy.

• 14:50Duncan Trussell?

  Okay. Can we pull up some of his books?

• 14:52Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, pull his books up. This guy is as shady as they come. Um, and so he's the guy who's like, oh, Jesus can't come back and us to build a third temple in the Red Heifer.

• 15:01Duncan Trussell?

  Oh, is, he's into the Red Heifer?

• 15:04Kurt Metzger?

  He's a piece of shit fake fucking.

• 15:06Duncan Trussell?

  Wow.

• 15:07Kurt Metzger?

  Uh, Zio fucking tarred. And um, anyway. Uh, Tanner, you see a picture I texted you?

• 15:14Duncan Trussell?

  I wanna hear what happened.

• 15:17Speaker 04

  Yeah, I see it.

• 15:18Kurt Metzger?

  We post that up so you can show Duncan. Do you remember the Twilight Zone? There's something on the wing.

• 15:23Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, sure.

• 15:24Kurt Metzger?

  We supposed to, so he could see it. There's something on the wing.

• 15:27Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, yeah. You're talking about the original or the movie, not that.

• 15:29Kurt Metzger?

  The original.

• 15:30Duncan Trussell?

  Okay, yeah, sure.

• 15:31Kurt Metzger?

  What was the movie one like?

• 15:33Duncan Trussell?

  It's, it's, no, it was good. It was really good. Basically the same, just like better effects.

• 15:40Kurt Metzger?

  Maybe that looked more like, okay, I'll put that up on the screen so we could see that.

• 15:44Duncan Trussell?

  That was the first one in the movie.

• 15:47Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, the John Lithgow?

• 15:49Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 15:50Kurt Metzger?

  Okay, there's something on the wing, right? Remember that?

• 15:53Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 15:54Kurt Metzger?

  Wouldn't you be terrified you saw that on the wing and you're Lloyd Shatner and you've saved the whole plane because you busted open the window and you saved everyone?

• 16:01Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 16:01Kurt Metzger?

  Okay, now imagine that thing. Okay, sits down next to you instead of being on the wing. Go ahead and go back to Jonathan there. Let's look at my boy Jonathan.

• 16:13Duncan Trussell?

  Predictive programming, man. Is that what you're saying?

• 16:16Kurt Metzger?

  So that's a horrifying thing when you see something on the wing, but imagine the thing on the wing had its seat reassigned next to you in first class out of nowhere.

• 16:23Duncan Trussell?

  I mean, yeah, so I, I wanna first.

• 16:26Kurt Metzger?

  Now, put it on Jonathan Cohen's fucking face, because I think it's more than fair. No, that's not him.

• 16:31Duncan Trussell?

  I wanna, I wanna establish first that they were in first class.

• 16:34Kurt Metzger?

  They were.

• 16:35Duncan Trussell?

  Okay.

• 16:35Kurt Metzger?

  That's a fact. That's a.

• 16:36Duncan Trussell?

  All right. So I'm not, so we can't say.

• 16:39Kurt Metzger?

  C A H N.

• 16:40Duncan Trussell?

  You can't say it was his arm rubbing against the guy or that he smelled.

• 16:44Kurt Metzger?

  Okay, in first class, I bet he showed his lizard form.

• 16:47Duncan Trussell?

  You think he'd trans, he'd transform?

• 16:50Kurt Metzger?

  It's not normal for your neck to just go up to your face like that and then you grow a beard to simulate a fucking, that's not normal.

• 16:57Kurt Metzger?

  Okay, it's not normal to be like, uh, oh, I'm a Christian, but also like you gotta build the third temple.

• 17:02Duncan Trussell?

  Let me just point something out right now. This man claimed that he publishes a book and he gets attacked. You are attacking this man right now, confirming his prophecy.

• 17:11Kurt Metzger?

  So I don't wanna, I don't condone attacks on, uh, on the thing from Twilight Zone on the wing. However, I don't believe that that guy that was taped up. I think this motherfucker set the whole thing up and that guy took a hit.

• 17:25Duncan Trussell?

  I wanna, I have to.

• 17:26Kurt Metzger?

  I think it's a carnival act.

• 17:27Duncan Trussell?

  Let me just ask this, let me just ask this. Just because the guy did say he releases his books, he gets attacked, you're attacking him. Right now, do you feel something coming through you, like a demonic force? Is it possessing you right now to attack this man?

• 17:39Kurt Metzger?

  Uh, the altar of Pergamum. So basically, this fucking jerk off, I don't know if you know about the synagogue of Satan and all that shit, he, he's writing about that, Satan's throne called the altar at Pergamum.

• 17:50Duncan Trussell?

  Okay.

• 17:51Kurt Metzger?

  Um, let's see. Could it tie in with the, so he basically takes stuff from, he's like a Hal Lindsey, but like a piece of shit even bigger than Hal Lindsey. Okay. We're, we're leaving, the rise of Adolf Hitler and it's very right. Could it be behind the spread of Marxism? So it's always like the biggest disaster is communism, you know, there's no fault here with the way we do things, obviously. Uh, we're fighting communism, you have to do whatever you have to do.

• 18:13Duncan Trussell?

  Here's the, wait, here's the most important question. Can you guys ask AI how many of Jonathan Khan's prophecies have come true?

• 18:20Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, that's a very good question.

• 18:22Duncan Trussell?

  Can I grab one of these out of here?

• 18:24Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, I apologize.

• 18:29Kurt Metzger?

  So anyway, the racism of the guy in the story was, he said, I'll punch your Jew face into Jonathan Khan.

• 18:36Duncan Trussell?

  Can we see that in the clip? I was kinda.

• 18:38Kurt Metzger?

  No, no one, the man hasn't spoken, the one who's taped up.

• 18:41Duncan Trussell?

  How many?

• 18:42Kurt Metzger?

  Jonathan Langdon, we've not heard from. He's been fired from his job as a real estate agent or something. According to them, but I think it's all bullshit. And if you, and you know, that's a federal charge.

• 18:53Duncan Trussell?

  Here we go. That said, looking at his major claims, their record is not strong. 2015 Shemata prediction, Khan associated the seven year Shemata cycle with a major financial shaking. The catastrophic collapse many years is expected to not occur. The harbinger, Khan argued that events such as September 11th uh, corresponded to biblical harbingers. These are largely interpretations of events after they happened. Trump and American politics, Khan has interpreted biblical patterns as foreshadowing Trump's rise and later political developments. Supporters regard some of these as remarkable fulfillments, while critics argue that the connections are sufficiently flexible.

• 19:34Duncan Trussell?

  So he is good, like, so like, you know, you get the like psycho prophet who's like, you know, I, I, I, I don't wanna say uh, Chris Bledsoe is one of these people, but can you look up the Bledsoe prophecy for the fall? Like, Bledsoe has made a firm prophecy that some.

• 19:56Kurt Metzger?

  I think it's already not come true.

• 19:57Duncan Trussell?

  Has it already not come true?

• 19:58Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, I think it's already not happened.

• 20:00Duncan Trussell?

  So that, when, you know, when someone makes that kind of prophecy, one thing I think you could argue is they might be misled or confused, but they're not grifters, because there's a way to verify it didn't come true. People like this guy, they're good at ambiguity. The ultimate example, Nostradamus, like, just write some fucked up quatrans, open for interpretation, you can attach that.

• 20:23Kurt Metzger?

  Okay, all, all Nostradamus predictions, by the way, that we have are all translated by one dippy bitch that is really stretching the translation.

• 20:31Duncan Trussell?

  Wait, I gotta say something real quick. I don't wanna seem like a total pussy here, but I do, I do not think Chris Bledsoe is a psycho.

• 20:38Kurt Metzger?

  I'm talking about Nostradamus.

• 20:39Duncan Trussell?

  When I said psych, I know, but it sounds like I just called Chris Bledsoe a psycho. I don't think that. I like Ryan Bledsoe, I like Chris Bledsoe. I was not, I'm just, I was impressed that he made a prophecy that I guess has yet to come true. Can we just confirm his prophecy has yet to come true? Dippy bitch.

• 20:56Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, there's some broad in the seventies and uh.

• 20:59Duncan Trussell?

  The, uh.

• 21:00Kurt Metzger?

  Not, no, I'm talking about Nostradamus. Do you understand that?

• 21:03Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, I know, but I, I'm just, I'm trying not to defame my friend's dad.

• 21:08Kurt Metzger?

  But what does he have to do with Nostradamus?

• 21:09Duncan Trussell?

  He made a prophecy.

• 21:11Kurt Metzger?

  Your dad, the dad or Nostradamus?

• 21:13Duncan Trussell?

  Chris Bledsoe.

• 21:13Kurt Metzger?

  Okay, I can attest to Chris Bledsoe, I think it already didn't come true. However, Nostradamus, the American thing with Nostradamus is such horseshit and such an op.

• 21:22Duncan Trussell?

  Yes.

• 21:22Kurt Metzger?

  On, in fact, it's a Jonathan Khan style op where they push some fucking nonsense. That Bledsoe guy looks very sincere to me, so he's probably been fucked with his whole life, uh, by whatever.

• 21:34Duncan Trussell?

  We should have him on the show.

• 21:36Kurt Metzger?

  Why does this always do this?

• 21:42Kurt Metzger?

  I just want to open it and I was it that much force? Am I Herman Munster? Is that what it is?

• 21:48Kurt Metzger?

  If it is, hey, it is what it is.

• 21:51Kurt Metzger?

  I don't know why this flies off the hinges whenever I open it.

• 21:56Kurt Metzger?

  Yo. Jungle joint, the preacher man can't fucking get a white claw can. Jungle joint, I better use my machete.

• 22:06Duncan Trussell?

  Jungle joint!

• 22:07Kurt Metzger?

  They call me Jungle joint.

• 22:08Duncan Trussell?

  Don't let that cooler stop you?

• 22:10Kurt Metzger?

  Whoa, let's just hold on.

• 22:12Duncan Trussell?

  Well, well, well. Wait a minute. Hello, hello.

• 22:17Kurt Metzger?

  Ooh, what a Turkish thirst trap I might have had.

• 22:21Duncan Trussell?

  That is a Turkish honk right there.

• 22:24Kurt Metzger?

  My goodness, look at this little slice of fucking baklava.

• 22:27Duncan Trussell?

  Hello, hello.

• 22:29Kurt Metzger?

  Look at this slice of, uh, filo dough and honey mashed with, uh, pistachios. Uh, you know, whatever the passage for sweets in these fucking.

• 22:40Duncan Trussell?

  Uh.

• 22:41Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, look at this. Yeah.

• 22:43Duncan Trussell?

  Man, that's gotta feel good to look like that.

• 22:45Kurt Metzger?

  The kind of dick that makes young men into Draculus.

• 22:48Duncan Trussell?

  Fuck yeah. Fuck yeah.

• 22:51Kurt Metzger?

  The kind of Turkish raw sex appeals that turns a young man into a vampire.

• 22:55Duncan Trussell?

  It is so funny that this is the picture they picked for the Republican convention.

• 23:01Kurt Metzger?

  Is it? I don't really understand what I'm looking at.

• 23:03Duncan Trussell?

  I can explain why. Okay, so that's what's his face? The, um, you know, the guy, what's his, what's his name?

• 23:08Kurt Metzger?

  Hassan Abi?

• 23:09Duncan Trussell?

  Hassan Abi, but pull up, pull up, uh, Grindr Republican convention. This will all make sense.

• 23:16Kurt Metzger?

  Cause Mike Johnson tried to fuck him? Is this, I bet I guessed it.

• 23:19Duncan Trussell?

  Pull up Grindr Republican convention.

• 23:21Kurt Metzger?

  My grinder Johnson gave him a grind on the old grinder.

• 23:25Duncan Trussell?

  It does sound like a fuck.

• 23:26Kurt Metzger?

  Hey, I'm gonna be in that area if you wanna get together.

• 23:29Duncan Trussell?

  Grindr Republican convention. During the Republican National Convention, their location-based dating app experienced local outages and a massive surge in usage. So that's why. It's like a thirst trap. They're just trying to put a little sugar in the R and C, that's all. But they're scared of him, Hassan.

• 23:50Kurt Metzger?

  Okay. So somebody that, go back to that, uh, the something on the wing con. Jonathan, there's something on the wing con.

• 23:57Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, where are we going with this, man? I, cause we.

• 23:59Kurt Metzger?

  Trying to explain to you how shit happens.

• 24:01Duncan Trussell?

  You cut the video short. I wanted to see his story of what happened. I feel like people watching want to.

• 24:05Kurt Metzger?

  Go back, I missed something important.

• 24:07Duncan Trussell?

  Can we hear him say exactly what happened?

• 24:10Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, or you could put, yeah, go ahead, press play.

• 24:12Duncan Trussell?

  I don't know if we're allowed to even do that.

• 24:13Kurt Metzger?

  Yes, we are. It's transformative.

• 24:16Duncan Trussell?

  What?

• 24:16Kurt Metzger?

  It's transformative.

• 24:17Duncan Trussell?

  What does that mean?

• 24:18Kurt Metzger?

  Commentary is protected.

• 24:20Duncan Trussell?

  It's called transformative?

• 24:21Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, transformative. That's what protects you when you.

• 24:23Duncan Trussell?

  Oh, okay. I see what you're saying.

• 24:25Kurt Metzger?

  When you wanna make a commentary.

• 24:26Duncan Trussell?

  Oh, that's good to know. All right, let's play it.

• 24:28Kurt Metzger?

  Hassan Abi, by the way, got in some trouble because that lazy motherfucker would just like put this on and then go take a shit. You know, and then come back. You know how we never shit until we're done watching the thing with our audience and that's a covenant?

• 24:40Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, that's a covenant.

• 24:42Kurt Metzger?

  That's Jungle joint, preacher man and, uh.

• 24:44Duncan Trussell?

  That's right. Dark James. We don't, we have to.

• 24:48Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, we shit during the show.

• 24:49Duncan Trussell?

  It would be easy to go take shit and let it keep running, but we stick with you.

• 24:53Kurt Metzger?

  I have entertaining bumpers to show the audience that I make while I shit.

• 24:56Duncan Trussell?

  Yes.

• 24:57Kurt Metzger?

  That they use when we go and take a shit.

• 24:59Duncan Trussell?

  Yes. Okay, let's play it.

• 25:02Speaker 05

  With supernatural things and, by the way, I know you're telling, I just want to emphasize something to people. This was a flight from Dallas, Fort Worth to Newark. This is a long flight. I'm, I'm doing this flight tomorrow, so I know this is a long flight. Um, and, and so this is a long period of time. I just want people to understand that. But yes, you and in some ways, I would imagine you invite, I mean, I cover a lot of topics with the demonic and with evil and, you know, looking from a Christian perspective, you almost have to really be.

• 25:28Kurt Metzger?

  Perspective as a guy who is some kind of weird Jew that is not a Christian and also I'm guessing a MK handler.

• 25:36Duncan Trussell?

  Let's keep playing.

• 25:39Speaker 05

  Extra prayed up because you're in, sometimes you're dealing with some other elements because of that.

• 25:43Speaker 06

  Yeah, yeah.

• 25:45Duncan Trussell?

  This term is so fucked up.

• 25:47Speaker 06

  You know, and, and, and many of them involving the spiritual realm affecting the world.

• 25:52Duncan Trussell?

  Yes.

• 25:52Speaker 06

  And so there are forces that would go against that or just go against the exposing of it. And so, and, and the altar of pergament, which just released when I was at the 700 club, released on Tuesday. This is two days later. Okay, so it's always the release day or the release week.

• 26:08Duncan Trussell?

  All right.

• 26:09Speaker 06

  And so.

• 26:09Duncan Trussell?

  What happened? I, I just want to hear what happened.

• 26:12Speaker 06

  Oh, the thing is that, and it's a very much.

• 26:14Kurt Metzger?

  Let's hear the story of him releasing the information of what happened first.

• 26:17Duncan Trussell?

  I mean, yeah, just what the, this is the event.

• 26:19Kurt Metzger?

  I'd like to hear the story of when it was released and how the news day was before we got to.

• 26:23Duncan Trussell?

  What fucking happened, man?

• 26:24Kurt Metzger?

  Just tell me the lie, you fucking goat man.

• 26:27Duncan Trussell?

  Oh, wait, the.

• 26:30Kurt Metzger?

  The black spread across, oh, rewind a little bit.

• 26:32Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, the black spread across the screen.

• 26:35Kurt Metzger?

  Fucking.

• 26:36Duncan Trussell?

  What is this?

• 26:38Kurt Metzger?

  I think he fucking showed the guy his lizard face on the plane and freaked him out is what I think.

• 26:45Duncan Trussell?

  Okay, that's good. Right there. Start there.

• 26:48Speaker 06

  Blanking Jewish face in.

• 26:50Speaker 05

  Wow.

• 26:51Duncan Trussell?

  That's weird.

• 26:52Speaker 06

  So I'm now, now I'm.

• 26:53Duncan Trussell?

  I would have thought of other terms.

• 26:55Speaker 06

  Signaling to the, the flight people, I'm saying on the, on the aisle, I'll go, okay, come, I'm going, I'm going. But, but they're like, they couldn't do anything. They, they were on there. There was a, they tried it, they couldn't. So I'm doing that, no.

• 27:07Speaker 05

  This must have been a little scary in the moment. I mean.

• 27:11Duncan Trussell?

  It was.

• 27:12Speaker 05

  To a degree, yeah.

• 27:13Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, it's scary. Somebody in a plane doesn't get to punch you.

• 27:17Speaker 06

  I did sense that I was in danger, yes.

• 27:19Duncan Trussell?

  Well, you sensed you were in danger when the guy said he's gonna punch your face in. You really are a prophet. Like, you gotta think that's some, he's tuned in.

• 27:28Speaker 00

  Now, more than ever, we need someone on our side, but Rob Whitman? Whitman's votes drove up costs, cut Medicaid and risked 350,000 Virginians' healthcare to pay for tax breaks for himself and his donors. He's not on our side. Shannon Taylor will fight corruption, cut taxes and bring down costs. This November, vote for Shannon Taylor. She's for us. Paid for by HMP, the HouseMajorityPact.com, not authorized by any candidate or candidate's committee.

• 27:58Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, yeah, I would say.

• 28:00Speaker 06

  And so then, and I do know this is like, and it's demonic, totally demonic, and I, I, I know that, you know.

• 28:07Duncan Trussell?

  It's weird as a prophet, he didn't know not to take that flight.

• 28:12Kurt Metzger?

  Well, that's not a thing that you'd be able to, I, I would hold that against him. What I want to know is what exactly was said? You told him you're writing a book about the throne of Satan and you asked him about Jesus and the guy flipped out and said, I'll punch your Jewish face in.

• 28:25Duncan Trussell?

  I can answer that. You're, you know, if you're lucky enough that you end up in first class, right? You're getting ready to take your nap. You're getting ready to like get a drink, watch a movie. This, this dude sits down next to you and starts talking about, he just wrote a fucking book about the throne of Satan. And you realize you're about to get an ear beating. Your four hour flight is gonna be filled up with this fucker rambling in your ear and you're like, I'm gonna punch your face in.

• 28:51Kurt Metzger?

  Yo, okay, hold on. Hold on. I forgot his record. You, in fact, he said it in here. Every time he writes a book, he gets attacked. What? Maybe it's you. And then he, and then he had already told the staff to pray for an attack on him that week.

• 29:07Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 29:07Kurt Metzger?

  That's his own words he just said right there.

• 29:09Duncan Trussell?

  I know, I saw it.

• 29:10Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, so I think the guy is part of it and it's a setup. Do you recall at the Charlie Kirk shooting?

• 29:15Duncan Trussell?

  No, come on.

• 29:17Kurt Metzger?

  Well, I'll tell you why. I'm glad you.

• 29:18Duncan Trussell?

  You get on the no fly list.

• 29:20Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, it's, it seems not worth it, right?

• 29:22Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 29:22Kurt Metzger?

  However, I would keep two things in mind.

• 29:25Duncan Trussell?

  You think this is publicity for the book?

• 29:27Kurt Metzger?

  He's a darker, uh, Zohar cultist, uh, but, but look, look, look.

• 29:33Kurt Metzger?

  He fucking, um, you think somebody wouldn't do that? There's a guy at the Charlie Kirk shooting who, when Charlie Kirk got shot, said, it was me.

• 29:40Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, I remember.

• 29:41Kurt Metzger?

  Pants down.

• 29:41Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 29:42Kurt Metzger?

  And said, it was me, I did it and got arrested. Okay. But he didn't do it.

• 29:46Duncan Trussell?

  Right.

• 29:46Kurt Metzger?

  He said he was doing this so the guy could get away is what his story. Then he says to the cops, oh, by the way, my phone is filled with CP. You better go through it.

• 29:55Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, what was that, man?

• 29:57Kurt Metzger?

  All part of the operation, but those seem like pretty high stakes things just to me.

• 30:01Duncan Trussell?

  I know, but that's different than like the one that Charlie Kirk assassination could have been a million things. Could have been Mossad, could have been the US government. Who the fuck knows?

• 30:09Kurt Metzger?

  I just mean the guy who's there as a.

• 30:11Duncan Trussell?

  This is, I'm not gonna help some dude promote his book by getting on a no fly list.

• 30:14Kurt Metzger?

  The guy who's there is the jabroni. I'm saying that guy that attacked him, that had to be taped down.

• 30:20Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 30:21Kurt Metzger?

  Okay, I, I, I'm saying he was playing, he was the jabroni of that wrestling work they were doing.

• 30:25Duncan Trussell?

  Okay.

• 30:26Kurt Metzger?

  And this guy does something like this every time because if you're a brain dead fucking boomer that watches Fox or CNN or all, any of the ones that they all still watch, getting your fucking flu shots like a dumb fuck. This, hearing about this is all you need to buy his book. And if you're a, an absolutely, so he's, you see what channel he's telling the story on, right? The 700 club? You know the 700 club?

• 30:51Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, of course. I remember.

• 30:56Kurt Metzger?

  No kidding?

• 30:57Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 30:58Kurt Metzger?

  Is it expensive?

• 30:59Duncan Trussell?

  Very, very expensive.

• 31:02Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, is it good though?

• 31:03Duncan Trussell?

  Yes, it's worth every penny I pay.

• 31:06Kurt Metzger?

  Well.

• 31:10Duncan Trussell?

  It's a great club.

• 31:11Kurt Metzger?

  I'm just laughing thinking of Dark James, just, oh, 700 Club's on.

• 31:17Duncan Trussell?

  My kids love it.

• 31:18Kurt Metzger?

  Ooh, who's up? Officer Datum, this should be a very respectful black man interview.

• 31:23Duncan Trussell?

  I, listen, man, I.

• 31:25Kurt Metzger?

  Go on, Officer Datum.

• 31:26Duncan Trussell?

  I don't, I, I, I disagree.

• 31:28Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, look at this.

• 31:29Duncan Trussell?

  I just don't think.

• 31:30Kurt Metzger?

  Wait, so this is.

• 31:32Duncan Trussell?

  Uh, I'm founder level. I just want you to know, I'm founder level. I, I don't do any, founder level is 417 or more per month. I do.

• 31:42Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, that implies retro causality.

• 31:43Duncan Trussell?

  I do 418 a month. It's, uh, over $5,000 annually. I get access to the CBM Partner Digital Resources, which are fantastic. I get a monthly faith building, teaching and devotion, which I do with my family, the kids.

• 31:56Kurt Metzger?

  Such as what? Name one.

• 31:57Duncan Trussell?

  What?

• 31:57Kurt Metzger?

  Name one.

• 31:58Duncan Trussell?

  How to pray?

• 32:00Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, how do you do it?

• 32:01Duncan Trussell?

  You have to get on your, you get on your knees and you put your hands like this.

• 32:04Kurt Metzger?

  Okay, I got bad knees.

• 32:05Duncan Trussell?

  You look up at the sky and you say what you want.

• 32:08Kurt Metzger?

  Wait, why do I have to be on my knees? Is that actually?

• 32:09Duncan Trussell?

  I don't know. I don't know. I didn't, I don't know. They just send you the thing, you do it. They send you the thing, you do it. Not everything has to be a conspiracy, man. They send you the thing, you do it.

• 32:19Kurt Metzger?

  Well, it's not conspiracy. I'm just seeing if you're getting.

• 32:21Duncan Trussell?

  I don't know. I don't ask. It's not, I'm not an expert in prayer. They are. They say, get on your knees, your hands like this, look up at the sky and say what you want.

• 32:29Kurt Metzger?

  Okay, well, it's, you're, you're one of the founding members of it, so it's scary that you're not an expert in prayer.

• 32:34Duncan Trussell?

  Look, I tell you what, can we call, is it possible to call them?

• 32:38Speaker 04

  Yeah, I can, I can call them.

• 32:39Kurt Metzger?

  Okay, before you do that.

• 32:44Kurt Metzger?

  Just, before we call them, CBN.

• 32:50Duncan Trussell?

  Can I just show you?

• 32:51Kurt Metzger?

  A matter of public record.

• 32:52Duncan Trussell?

  Like this.

• 32:53Kurt Metzger?

  Okay.

• 32:58Kurt Metzger?

  Duncan, wait, hold on, stay there. I'll help you. Okay, I, next time you fall, I got you, dude. Cause my knees are bad, but that's why I got this grabber.

• 33:07Speaker 07

  If you are calling for prayer, please press two for the next available representative.

• 33:13Kurt Metzger?

  Dude, use the reacher to get your claws from now on.

• 33:16Speaker 07

  Press three. For CBN Animation's Superbook, press four. For all other products or literature, press five.

• 33:24Kurt Metzger?

  We don't have to go through these hijinks.

• 33:25Speaker 07

  If you have a count or technical questions, press six. If you have any other requests, please stay on the line for our next available representative and may God bless you. To hear these options again, press star.

• 33:39Kurt Metzger?

  Dude.

• 33:41Speaker 07

  If you are calling for prayer, please press two for the next available representative.

• 33:46Kurt Metzger?

  Dark James is a founder member of the 700?

• 33:50Speaker 07

  We are honored you've reached out for prayer today.

• 33:52Kurt Metzger?

  I knew he was in it, but I didn't know he was like a founder. He brought the founders back.

• 33:57Speaker 04

  Kurt, you wanna put the headphones on?

• 34:00Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, yeah, well.

• 34:01Speaker 07

  Press one to pray alongside powerful, spirit-led, recorded prayers from our very own prayer representatives.

• 34:08Kurt Metzger?

  Yo, first of all, he's trying to keep us engaged, but that's, they're CIA. So, and if you look up, there's been controversies where like they were having drugs smuggled with, through their missionary work for the CIA. That's public record, by the way. It's not a fucking secret. So, that's a CIA thing. Jonathan Collins is part of that. You could bet, my guess is the guy in the plane's a, uh, like a, sir, hand, sir. You don't have to always kill someone with, with that programming. What if I want a guy to pretend to be crazy on a plane with me? I hypnotize him and make him do that, you know? That's, it's very useful shit to have. And he's also probably a victim of it growing up as well, just based on how he looks. He looks like a goblin that they pulled out of, uh,

• 34:51Kurt Metzger?

  you know, uh, whatever his book's about. You're telling me a guy looks fully human to you? I'm not talking about anything with Judaism. I'm saying that guy looks like a goat. He looks like half a goat. Are you that fucked up?

• 35:02Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah. Yeah, I am.

• 35:04Kurt Metzger?

  Shit.

• 35:05Duncan Trussell?

  So, congratulations. Sometimes your shit hurts people.

• 35:09Kurt Metzger?

  Hey, uh, can we get a replay of, um, how to pray just for the people?

• 35:13Duncan Trussell?

  Come on. Are you joking?

• 35:17Kurt Metzger?

  Dude, I just now realized while I looked at this.

• 35:20Duncan Trussell?

  Dude.

• 35:20Kurt Metzger?

  That that way of praying, anybody watching that must have fucking.

• 35:25Duncan Trussell?

  You just get out, alright.

• 35:27Kurt Metzger?

  You know how to.

• 35:31Duncan Trussell?

  Anyway, it's a great club.

• 35:32Kurt Metzger?

  You saw that, right? When he was praying?

• 35:34Duncan Trussell?

  It's a good club.

• 35:36Kurt Metzger?

  Okay, okay, um, uh, okay. Oh, different ways to pray. Uh, well, I'm not doing face down, ass up, uh, way, cause I'm not Muslim.

• 35:47Duncan Trussell?

  It's the one, it's the one, it's kneel. You kneel. They didn't send the other ways to pray. It's just you, you kneel, you get on your knees, you put your hands like this and you look up.

• 36:00Kurt Metzger?

  You look up? Are they supposed to keep your head down?

• 36:03Duncan Trussell?

  Well, they said look up.

• 36:06Kurt Metzger?

  I guess it depends.

• 36:07Duncan Trussell?

  If you're looking down, you know who you're looking down to.

• 36:11Duncan Trussell?

  The devil. You look up.

• 36:13Kurt Metzger?

  Well, I thought you were averting your gaze from the heavy, heavy.

• 36:16Duncan Trussell?

  It's your ceiling. You can close your eyes.

• 36:18Kurt Metzger?

  So I shouldn't be praying in the shower how I normally do?

• 36:21Duncan Trussell?

  How do you pray in the shower? How do you pray in the shower?

• 36:23Kurt Metzger?

  I know, sometimes I'm holding my dick, but not for sexual reasons. I'm just washing myself.

• 36:26Duncan Trussell?

  That's a, that's a mudra. It's okay. But yeah, there, there it is. That's good. Can you pull up that woman? That's how you essentially, not, please take that off.

• 36:36Kurt Metzger?

  Praying naked?

• 36:37Duncan Trussell?

  She's beautiful.

• 36:38Kurt Metzger?

  What is she holding?

• 36:38Duncan Trussell?

  She's a snake.

• 36:42Duncan Trussell?

  What is that?

• 36:43Kurt Metzger?

  I have, it's been a while since I've.

• 36:45Duncan Trussell?

  What book is this? Oh, it's, uh, Katie Condon.

• 36:49Kurt Metzger?

  Okay.

• 36:50Duncan Trussell?

  He, Kim's.

• 36:51Kurt Metzger?

  Kim, Katie Condon?

• 36:53Duncan Trussell?

  Kim's.

• 36:54Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, do you know what Kim brought up last night in mothership? That in Puerto Rico, there's these guys that get totally naked and jerk off in the bushes around Puerto Rico, and they're called bushwhackers. And they're always totally naked. Um, and I go, hold on, Kim.

• 37:09Kurt Metzger?

  I go, how far back does this thing go? And she said, um, uh, since her mom was a little kid, her mom knew of bushwhackers. And I was like, that, it's like a Puerto Rican Bigfoot, I guess, is what she was telling us. She's, that's their cryptids.

• 37:24Duncan Trussell?

  Can we pull up Puerto Rican bushwhack?

• 37:26Kurt Metzger?

  Wait, did you really fuck your knee up?

• 37:28Duncan Trussell?

  Oh, yeah. It's fucked up. It popped out of, I mean, it, this has happened before when I pray, by the way. It happens like one out of three times.

• 37:35Kurt Metzger?

  This is why I don't get on my knee. Dude, if I have to get on my knees on a hardwood floor.

• 37:39Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, but this is.

• 37:41Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, my gosh.

• 37:41Duncan Trussell?

  Listen, man, that, maybe that's, I'm, I'm not trying to compete spiritually with you. That could be the difference between you and me. I'm willing to take the pain.

• 37:48Kurt Metzger?

  Take a knee, that's the motto.

• 37:50Duncan Trussell?

  Yes.

• 37:50Kurt Metzger?

  Dark James says if it gets his dark bidding through.

• 37:54Duncan Trussell?

  Ah, yeah.

• 37:55Kurt Metzger?

  Now, what's all this about? This looks like a nice.

• 37:57Duncan Trussell?

  That's what you get when you, oh, bushwhacking, I guess, put bushwhacking masturbation.

• 38:01Kurt Metzger?

  Those good bushwhacking spots? I didn't know they would post them.

• 38:04Duncan Trussell?

  It's like a map of bush places to jerk off in Puerto Rico.

• 38:09Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, if you're really hurt, then I feel bad for like remembering what just happened as funny as I'm remembering it. You look like you're the next guy to be interviewed on 700 Club after fucking Goat Boy.

• 38:19Duncan Trussell?

  It would be the honor of my life.

• 38:22Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, can we get Dark James on CBN to pray with them?

• 38:25Duncan Trussell?

  And fall to a跪. You know, why don't we just call them real quick and see if we can join? And I just, I want to show people, guys, I know, I know the viewership here, I know many of you look down on Christians and the 700 Club, on people who are trying to good, do good in the world, and prophets, and Jewish people, et cetera, but over here.

• 38:45Kurt Metzger?

  We established you were going, get your knee fixed, that they're a CIA thing, and it's well known. It's not like a secret. Get going, get crazy.

• 38:51Duncan Trussell?

  Okay, well, let's call them and ask.

• 38:53Kurt Metzger?

  By the way, Gloria Steinem's.

• 38:56Speaker 07

  Hello, thank you for calling the Christian Broadcasting Network. We are so happy to receive your call.

• 39:07Duncan Trussell?

  English, please.

• 39:08Speaker 07

  This call may be monitored or recorded for quality assurance purposes. If you are calling for prayer, please press two for the next available representative.

• 39:17Kurt Metzger?

  For that, and I, I, we're, that's not what we're calling for.

• 39:21Duncan Trussell?

  Did you press two?

• 39:23Speaker 07

  We are honored you've reached out for prayer today.

• 39:25Kurt Metzger?

  We didn't do that.

• 39:26Speaker 07

  Your estimated wait time is more than five minutes.

• 39:29Kurt Metzger?

  Get the, hang it up. You, you, you, I, I, I didn't call for prayer.

• 39:35Kurt Metzger?

  A five minute, uh, can you imagine having a?

• 39:38Duncan Trussell?

  Press, press six, six, six, and it goes right through.

• 39:42Kurt Metzger?

  Okay, listen, Tanner, listen to me very carefully. We, we're not calling to pray with them. We're calling to report a prayer injury.

• 39:48Duncan Trussell?

  Hey, call them. I, I do want.

• 39:49Kurt Metzger?

  We need them to pray for his prayer where he hurt himself.

• 39:52Duncan Trussell?

  Call him back. I want to show you.

• 39:55Kurt Metzger?

  He, that's their, listen, they got a lawsuit on their hands, cause he's showing me their method.

• 39:59Duncan Trussell?

  Watch this, watch, I have a trick you could do with these. Watch, this is really fun.

• 40:02Speaker 07

  Calling the Christian Broadcasting Network. We are so happy to receive your call.

• 40:08Duncan Trussell?

  English, please.

• 40:12Speaker 07

  This call may be monitored or recorded for quality assurance purposes. If you are calling for prayer, please press two for the next available representative.

• 40:22Duncan Trussell?

  Watch, I want to share a trick.

• 40:23Speaker 07

  To join the 700 Club or donate to CBN, press three.

• 40:26Kurt Metzger?

  Okay, hold on.

• 40:26Duncan Trussell?

  Do three, cause that would be.

• 40:27Speaker 07

  For CBN Animation's Superbook, press four. For all other products or literature, press five.

• 40:34Duncan Trussell?

  There's no wait for the donation.

• 40:35Speaker 07

  If you have a count or technical questions, press six.

• 40:38Kurt Metzger?

  Okay, let's try to.

• 40:39Speaker 07

  If you have any other requests, please stay on the line for our next available representative.

• 40:44Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, you get it. Quicker.

• 40:45Kurt Metzger?

  Press three.

• 40:46Speaker 07

  To hear these options again.

• 40:48Kurt Metzger?

  We want prayer that we said the wrong one, but we'll get to a person and explain it.

• 40:51Speaker 07

  Our agents are currently busy assisting other callers. Did you know that you can visit cbn.com or text 1-800-700-7000 to submit your prayer request or make a donation? Please continue to hold. We look forward to speaking with you.

• 41:07Duncan Trussell?

  They'll come through.

• 41:14Kurt Metzger?

  I love this.

• 41:14Speaker 07

  Even in seasons of challenge, God's word reminds us that.

• 41:22Duncan Trussell?

  Thank you for calling. My name is Joe. May I ask for your name, please? Hey, Joe, sorry, this is Gary over in tech support. We heard you were having some problems over here.

• 41:32Duncan Trussell?

  Hi, Gary. I'm sorry, you are from tech support? Yes. Are you guys having problems with your lines?

• 41:39Duncan Trussell?

  Prob, um, with, with what? Sorry? With your, they, we're calling operators to make sure you guys aren't having technical issues. Are you having technical issues with your line?

• 41:50Duncan Trussell?

  Oh, no. Uh, the only issues that we're having is the double cursor, which is already a known issue. Okay, that's what we're working on. Can you pull that up and, uh, just let me know if that's happening for you right now? Yes, it is. Okay, press escape three times on your keyboard, please. Escape.

• 42:12Speaker 04

  Oh.

• 42:15Speaker 04

  A new tab has shown up.

• 42:17Duncan Trussell?

  Okay, that's great. Type 4944 hash. Do you know the hash symbol?

• 42:25Speaker 04

  Yeah, where are gonna put that? On the search bar?

• 42:28Duncan Trussell?

  You got it.

• 42:30Speaker 04

  4944?

• 42:33Duncan Trussell?

  Hash.

• 42:35Speaker 04

  Hashtag?

• 42:37Duncan Trussell?

  Yes, I'm sorry. This has been a real long day over here in tech support.

• 42:43Speaker 04

  Okay, it's all right. So 4944 hashtag on the search bar.

• 42:48Duncan Trussell?

  Yes.

• 42:49Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 42:51Speaker 04

  All right.

• 42:52Duncan Trussell?

  Anything?

• 42:55Speaker 04

  Well.

• 42:59Speaker 04

  What I pulled up here is under the IRS?

• 43:05Duncan Trussell?

  God damn it! We've been hacked. I'm so sorry to curse. We've been hacked. This is a code, this is a level code three. You're gonna have to restart your whole computer and unplug it from the wall because this is bad. We've got an entire worm in the system and this has been linked back to Iran. We're pretty sure that it's some kind of Iranian hacking bullshit thing.

• 43:35Speaker 04

  And sorry Gary, can you tell me your name again so I can make a note on the account?

• 43:39Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, it's Gary French James. If you need, if you need my supervisor to come in and talk to you, I can. It would just, this is, this is terrible.

• 43:53Duncan Trussell?

  One of the operators of the prayer line was actually shocked, literally.

• 44:01Speaker 04

  I'll make note and I'll also go ahead and reach out to my supervisor here on my end about this, what you have mentioned, okay?

• 44:08Duncan Trussell?

  Okay, and do me one more favor, can you?

• 44:12Speaker 04

  What's that Gary?

• 44:15Duncan Trussell?

  Can you, uh, can you press escape three more times on that keyboard here?

• 44:22Speaker 04

  Yeah, I did.

• 44:23Duncan Trussell?

  Now do it again.

• 44:28Speaker 04

  Yep.

• 44:29Duncan Trussell?

  Did you do it?

• 44:31Speaker 04

  Yes, I did.

• 44:32Duncan Trussell?

  Okay. Describe how it felt pushing that key down.

• 44:42Duncan Trussell?

  What it feel like pushing that key down?

• 44:51Duncan Trussell?

  Hello?

• 44:53Duncan Trussell?

  Hello? Okay, okay, got it.

• 45:06Kurt Metzger?

  Who you did that poor Filipino man?

• 45:10Kurt Metzger?

  You just crossed the line into a felony from a simple, simple prank to a full-on felony.

• 45:15Duncan Trussell?

  That's not a felony! Is that a felony?

• 45:18Kurt Metzger?

  It's called a phone freaking scam.

• 45:22Kurt Metzger?

  First of all, I, dude, I was debating about just coming in as your supervisor.

• 45:27Duncan Trussell?

  You should've!

• 45:28Kurt Metzger?

  But I didn't want a part of this.

• 45:31Duncan Trussell?

  I understand, man. I shouldn't have done that. I love them, I'm a member, but sometimes it's fun to have.

• 45:36Kurt Metzger?

  Your ice fell out here.

• 45:37Duncan Trussell?

  Oh, thank.

• 45:41Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, I can get it.

• 45:43Duncan Trussell?

  Thank you.

• 45:44Kurt Metzger?

  Here we go. It's like not being afraid of AI, you know? There you go.

• 45:48Duncan Trussell?

  That's good.

• 45:49Kurt Metzger?

  This is the tool like any other tool.

• 45:50Duncan Trussell?

  Tamp it down a little bit more.

• 45:52Kurt Metzger?

  Okay.

• 45:52Duncan Trussell?

  Tamp it down.

• 45:53Kurt Metzger?

  So spread Christ love. So that was a Filipino, evidently, I would say.

• 45:57Duncan Trussell?

  They just put that up on the screen. It could have been anybody. It sounded like an American to me.

• 46:01Kurt Metzger?

  No, it sounded like Tagalog a little bit in his accent with the way his peas were popping.

• 46:05Duncan Trussell?

  Well, anyway, the point is this, it's a great club. You guys should join up. Use offer code mystery boys to get 10% off your first prayer request.

• 46:13Kurt Metzger?

  I feel like that was an assault on that man, the ending. That's why I'm glad I wasn't, I'm glad I can't be linked to it.

• 46:21Kurt Metzger?

  It was absolutely horrible.

• 46:23Duncan Trussell?

  Hey, nobody do this, by the way, the thing I just did.

• 46:25Kurt Metzger?

  Dark James, that was dark.

• 46:26Duncan Trussell?

  Guys, don't do this, but, and I don't mean to brag, but before I became a comedian, I worked at Clifford and Willis at a call center and I help people make orders on catalogs and they don't know the difference between a call coming from an outside line and an inside line. No one knows, so you can call and say you're the supervisor and they, it's amazing. Don't do that. You should never do that. Don't fuck with the economy right now.

• 46:51Kurt Metzger?

  The thing that we, that Will Dungy just did, that very easily, by the way.

• 46:54Duncan Trussell?

  I did that. I'll tell you why I did that. I did that as a demonstration to show you how easy it is to get hacked and guys, so you should be on alert.

• 47:02Kurt Metzger?

  It is to come in a purple robe.

• 47:07Kurt Metzger?

  Dude, you ever go to like a hair salon?

• 47:11Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 47:12Kurt Metzger?

  I don't anymore, but I didn't realize till now that those, you know, they put those like hair burka, haircut burkas on your body?

• 47:19Duncan Trussell?

  Yes.

• 47:21Kurt Metzger?

  You can easily jerk off in the haircut burka.

• 47:23Duncan Trussell?

  Yes, you can. Yes, you can.

• 47:27Kurt Metzger?

  You know, it's like a jerk, jerk burka for your, that's why I came up with the idea of a jerka and it's like a robe like this that you could jerk off in. The jerka. Hey, stop getting thrown out of what, Ubers?

• 47:40Duncan Trussell?

  Is it? Now let me, here's a serious question. Do you think it's, if no one, like, it's a little bit like Schrodinger's come. If you jerk off in your robe and no one sees it.

• 47:53Kurt Metzger?

  Check.

• 47:53Duncan Trussell?

  If no one sees it, have you done harm? Is it, have you done any harm?

• 47:58Kurt Metzger?

  But on the other hand, I can't come unless they do see it.

• 48:01Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 48:02Kurt Metzger?

  See the dilemma.

• 48:03Duncan Trussell?

  That's the paradox.

• 48:04Kurt Metzger?

  The tiger chasing its tail.

• 48:05Duncan Trussell?

  That's the paradox right there. That's one of the big problems, man.

• 48:09Kurt Metzger?

  And I jerk off with one of these guys because that's how long my dick is.

• 48:11Duncan Trussell?

  Oh my God, that seems like it would hurt though.

• 48:14Kurt Metzger?

  It does hurt. It's one of the worst experiences. I would say besides eating a live baby at Epstein Island.

• 48:20Duncan Trussell?

  You ate.

• 48:21Kurt Metzger?

  It sucked.

• 48:22Duncan Trussell?

  That's so, that sucks so much.

• 48:24Kurt Metzger?

  You want to seem poor. Didn't want to seem like a poor person.

• 48:27Duncan Trussell?

  Why did, what, you could have just, I mean, I don't think.

• 48:30Kurt Metzger?

  Didn't want to come off like a goy, if you know.

• 48:32Duncan Trussell?

  You could have just been like, I don't want to eat the baby.

• 48:34Kurt Metzger?

  You don't want to be a goy on that, in that fuck.

• 48:36Duncan Trussell?

  You could have said you're allergic to baby.

• 48:39Kurt Metzger?

  Oh shit, I could have. They respect allergies.

• 48:43Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah. You could say you have an allergy to baby flesh.

• 48:47Kurt Metzger?

  Shit, yeah.

• 48:49Duncan Trussell?

  Makes you cough.

• 48:50Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, my asthma comes when I.

• 48:52Duncan Trussell?

  Makes your asthma.

• 48:53Kurt Metzger?

  Into a baby.

• 48:59Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, I was punched on a plane by a crazy person just because I talked about the throne of Satan.

• 49:05Duncan Trussell?

  To be in an Illuminati family and be allergic to baby flesh is just such a bummer.

• 49:10Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, talk about a really nice cartoon for, maybe a Disney cartoon.

• 49:14Duncan Trussell?

  You gotta keep your EpiPen nearby at family banquet.

• 49:17Kurt Metzger?

  Female lead with a fat ass that's like, not in a way that's attractive though.

• 49:22Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah. What do you mean?

• 49:25Kurt Metzger?

  It's not, not for your gratification kind of fat ass, just one that just sucks.

• 49:29Duncan Trussell?

  Well, you know.

• 49:30Kurt Metzger?

  That's what I pitch. That's why I have so many pitches out in showbiz, you know? And I wanted to make a thing called diverse sci-fi. I was working on this.

• 49:38Duncan Trussell?

  What's this? This sounds good.

• 49:40Kurt Metzger?

  It's like instead of the hero's journey, it's like just, I don't know, a volatile obese.

• 49:46Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 49:47Kurt Metzger?

  A woman of color, not, not clear, indeterminate, who, um, she starts to go on the journey, but then she realized she was fine the whole time and it was everybody else. It's like the inverse.

• 49:59Duncan Trussell?

  I love it.

• 50:00Kurt Metzger?

  And I was calling it diverse sci-fi and I was trying to pitch it, but then people found out I wasn't really a Gaysian man. I was, I was saying I was a gay Asian to try to, you know, get in the stack with it.

• 50:12Duncan Trussell?

  Have you got, have you seen, guys, can you pull up Ozempic is fascist? Have you seen the clip of this? It's pretty great.

• 50:19Kurt Metzger?

  Well, if you think it is, I got good news. It makes them people blind eventually.

• 50:24Duncan Trussell?

  Ozempic is fascist.

• 50:26Kurt Metzger?

  Go on.

• 50:26Duncan Trussell?

  I guess it'll be on YouTube. Oh yeah, that's it. Yeah, so you gotta watch it.

• 50:32Kurt Metzger?

  The fascist part of it?

• 50:33Duncan Trussell?

  This is, um, not, not that one, but this.

• 50:38Kurt Metzger?

  Wait, what does it say? But go back, what it said, piercing fat flesh? Go back. Policing? Hold on, just, whoa, whoa, whoa, stop, stop, stop. I need to read that. That is, hold on. We gotta have, be on lookout for these song titles we need to.

• 50:54Duncan Trussell?

  Policing black fat flesh is a great.

• 50:58Kurt Metzger?

  Now, I mean, come on, body fascism, policing by fat, black flat, black flat flesh.

• 51:05Duncan Trussell?

  Back flat flesh.

• 51:07Kurt Metzger?

  Black flat flesh.

• 51:07Duncan Trussell?

  Back flat flesh. It's actually a tongue twister. Black fat flesh, black fat flesh. Say it five times. Say it five times fast.

• 51:14Kurt Metzger?

  Don't police my back flat flat, fat black flesh.

• 51:16Duncan Trussell?

  It's hard. Black fat flesh, black flat flesh, black fat flesh. Say it five times fast.

• 51:21Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, fat black flesh.

• 52:48Duncan Trussell?

  Can we play what the woman says? Because this is an emergent thing where they're saying, if you're taking GLP-1s, you're a fascist.

• 52:57Speaker 06

  What is Secretary Kennedy's opinion of the GLP-1 weight loss drugs?

• 53:03Kurt Metzger?

  Uh, what is this? Throat to throat with a... We've made it much easier for people to get GLP drugs. Wait, wait, go back and play the lady again. They're newer drugs, so... Let's just wait, see the question again. Listen, listen. Look at, look.

• 53:19Kurt Metzger?

  The fuck is this? The Shaky Voice Town Hall?

• 53:24Kurt Metzger?

  Go ahead, play it, play it.

• 53:25Speaker 06

  I'd like to ask, what is Secretary Kennedy's opinion of the GLP-1 weight loss drugs?

• 53:32Kurt Metzger?

  Are you mocking me?

• 53:35Kurt Metzger?

  No, you're mocking me.

• 53:41Kurt Metzger?

  I have a ninja in my throat. I have one as well. Are you making fun of me? What's your opinion of black, flat flesh?

• 53:53Kurt Metzger?

  You want to talk about fat, black flesh? Once I dragged a bear home, myself, to study its testicles. You want to talk about policing?

• 54:05Kurt Metzger?

  I harvested a whale penis.

• 54:11Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, what a meeting. Boy, RFK, I bet RFK was looking around for his Sirhan, Sirhan.

• 54:19Kurt Metzger?

  I would like one of my bodyguards to betray me, right?

• 54:25Duncan Trussell?

  Okay, okay.

• 54:29Duncan Trussell?

  Ow, my knee, man.

• 54:31Kurt Metzger?

  This is why Hunter Biden doesn't want to hang out with me.

• 54:34Duncan Trussell?

  Well, you can get him on the show, man. I'm, I...

• 54:36Kurt Metzger?

  Whoa, now that I've invested everything in his coin.

• 54:42Duncan Trussell?

  He told me that he was gonna do that coin at that podcast.

• 54:45Kurt Metzger?

  That means he's running for president.

• 54:46Duncan Trussell?

  In that podcast, he said he was gonna do a coin.

• 54:48Kurt Metzger?

  Yo, Coffeezilla, who's pretty great, by the way, but he, I didn't know this, but this is gonna be the new thing, is you do a rug pull before you go run for president. So remember I asked you, like, was he running for president? Why is he going on these things and selecting who'd be cool? Because he was launching a coin.

• 55:05Duncan Trussell?

  Dude, I, I mean this. If he runs for president, I'm voting for him. I'm just, I'm voting for him out of a pure discordian, absurdist impulse. I will vote for you, Hunter Biden.

• 55:15Kurt Metzger?

  That guy does fucking crack with me, well, I'll vote for him.

• 55:18Duncan Trussell?

  I'll vote for him, I'll vote for him.

• 55:19Kurt Metzger?

  If Hunter Biden comes on this show and does crack with me.

• 55:24Duncan Trussell?

  Can you pull up that thing I was saying earlier? Because I do want Metzger to see it.

• 55:31Duncan Trussell?

  It's Ozempic fascism, and maybe you could find the clip. And look up Asmin Gold, because he's, he's talking about it.

• 55:38Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, yeah. You know what I like about that guy? He's got really good teeth.

• 55:43Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, dude, incredible.

• 55:45Kurt Metzger?

  I like seeing him have a chuckle at some videos.

• 55:50Kurt Metzger?

  And, uh...

• 55:51Duncan Trussell?

  He's got the best job of all fucking time, dude.

• 55:53Kurt Metzger?

  What's that, chilling for Israel occasionally?

• 55:54Duncan Trussell?

  Just, wait. Oh, no.

• 55:59Duncan Trussell?

  Ozempic fascism, Asmin, it's one word, Asmin Gold.

• 56:03Kurt Metzger?

  Socialist, Ozempic, fascist? Do you know that there's people, Duncan, who think that the DSA is some kind of...

• 56:10Duncan Trussell?

  This?

• 56:11Kurt Metzger?

  What?

• 56:12Duncan Trussell?

  Okay, wait, sorry. I don't mean to...

• 56:13Kurt Metzger?

  Okay, that's the CIA.

• 56:14Duncan Trussell?

  Just watch, just watch this.

• 56:16Kurt Metzger?

  No, I've seen it.

• 56:17Duncan Trussell?

  That's the CIA, play it.

• 56:19Kurt Metzger?

  Of course.

• 56:19Speaker 06

  This is from like a thousand or 2,000 years ago, of people that were being fed. So what are you even talking about here?

• 56:25Kurt Metzger?

  To become more useful to the ruling order. Okay, stop, stop, stop.

• 56:29Duncan Trussell?

  You think that's the CIA?

• 56:31Kurt Metzger?

  Okay, as you know, I'm not CIA. I don't know why I have to keep saying that. But it's very easy to dress up in a silly costume and act like a fucking jerk off. Right? Yes. It's very effective, as a matter of fact. And remember the DSA meeting? Where they go, guys, you get clapping, we're gonna go, eh, eh, eh. And then people go, excuse me, point of privilege, I can't, we, everyone stop applauding, eh. And so that's a show. There's no...

• 57:01Duncan Trussell?

  You think a sign you're in the CIA is you dress up in a silly costume?

• 57:06Kurt Metzger?

  Usually not in this case. Not in the Mr. Boy's case, but in a lot of cases. And...

• 57:10Duncan Trussell?

  Not in this case.

• 57:11Kurt Metzger?

  But, yo, I'm not saying...

• 57:13Duncan Trussell?

  We are not in the CIA.

• 57:14Kurt Metzger?

  Look.

• 57:16Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, that goes without saying. I'm saying...

• 57:18Duncan Trussell?

  It goes without saying.

• 57:18Kurt Metzger?

  Okay, the thing called a cutout, which is my upcoming pilot, that I told the cutout.

• 57:22Duncan Trussell?

  Yes.

• 57:23Kurt Metzger?

  So a cutout is, I buy the thing and it's a front, or I infiltrate it and it does my bidding.

• 57:28Duncan Trussell?

  Yes.

• 57:29Kurt Metzger?

  And you never say it, and they go, what? Go to the girl, put her picture up. So, because I know people, wait, oh, that's the CIA, you think that's the CIA? No, I think she's an operative, though, who is part of a cutout.

• 57:40Duncan Trussell?

  She's been, oh, yeah, okay, yeah, because this is...

• 57:42Kurt Metzger?

  Gloria Steinem's, uh, hot little fucking tush on her.

• 57:46Duncan Trussell?

  My friend who's a psychiatrist told me that, like, a lot of times, researcher, like, you get a research grant at a university, it's from the CIA, but it's never, like, they never say it's the CIA, it's just some weird...

• 57:59Kurt Metzger?

  That's right.

• 57:59Duncan Trussell?

  Corporation name or something.

• 58:01Kurt Metzger?

  But it doesn't, dude, the podcast space, you better understand, is a plane of cause, if you're an occultist. Do you understand that?

• 58:08Duncan Trussell?

  No.

• 58:09Kurt Metzger?

  You're the plane of cause, the plane of effect.

• 58:11Duncan Trussell?

  Explain it to me again.

• 58:12Kurt Metzger?

  So you put your spells into a plane of cause...

• 58:16Duncan Trussell?

  Okay.

• 58:16Kurt Metzger?

  Hoping to get an effect. What's a plane of cause? I don't know, it could be the ether, it could be, oh, I own a newspaper or a magazine. That's a plane of cause.

• 58:24Duncan Trussell?

  So that, so it...

• 58:25Kurt Metzger?

  And I can put my will into that plane and manifest...

• 58:28Duncan Trussell?

  Okay, so it can be...

• 58:29Kurt Metzger?

  Where we live, in the plane of effect.

• 58:31Duncan Trussell?

  It can be a system, it can be matter, it's not just some etheric void.

• 58:35Kurt Metzger?

  Gloria Steinem's passed on. Okay, let's get some pictures of her body, though, please. Okay? Yeah, let's look and check her out a little bit.

• 58:42Duncan Trussell?

  Damn, she's beautiful, I didn't know that.

• 58:43Kurt Metzger?

  Yes, she, now, this is interesting, because I thought feminists were all ugly and they're all lesbians and they're ugly. Whoa, look at that one, go back up.

• 58:51Duncan Trussell?

  Damn, look at the one with her getting...

• 58:52Kurt Metzger?

  Whoa, look at this Polanski bait right here.

• 58:55Duncan Trussell?

  Can you pull up the one with her? Pull up the one with her getting her neck kissed. Is that her getting her neck kissed by that beautiful man? Scroll down, the black and white one.

• 59:03Kurt Metzger?

  I don't see a neck kiss. Okay, make it big, who is that guy?

• 59:07Duncan Trussell?

  I don't know, but...

• 59:08Kurt Metzger?

  Let me see, let me see. Make it bigger. Who is that fucking her? Okay, let's see.

• 59:15Kurt Metzger?

  Wait, that's not, that's not her.

• 59:17Duncan Trussell?

  Oh, well, why?

• 59:18Kurt Metzger?

  That's not fucking Gloria Steinem.

• 59:19Duncan Trussell?

  I don't know, it's on the thing. I don't, I don't look what shit is, actually.

• 59:25Kurt Metzger?

  Okay, here, look, let's just get...

• 59:26Duncan Trussell?

  Ow, fuck!

• 59:29Kurt Metzger?

  I told you not to pray like that. Let's just get to the bottom line. Gloria Steinem was a Playboy bunny who came a feminist. And she's an icon. She was CIA. You know how we know that? Because she's being interviewed many times, saying she's CIA.

• 59:45Duncan Trussell?

  Can you pull up Gloria Steinem says she's CIA, please?

• 59:48Kurt Metzger?

  Yes, let's watch it. So, why, but why would the CIA get a Playboy bunny feminist? Do you know why?

• 59:56Duncan Trussell?

  Why?

• 59:56Kurt Metzger?

  The same reason they paid for modern art, to fight the commies.

• 1:00:00Duncan Trussell?

  Yes, Gloria Steinem worked directly with the CIA.

• 1:00:03Kurt Metzger?

  They get the video of her talking.

• 1:00:04Duncan Trussell?

  CIA-funded group.

• 1:00:05Kurt Metzger?

  You gotta listen to this, this is amazing.

• 1:00:07Duncan Trussell?

  What the fuck?

• 1:00:08Kurt Metzger?

  There we go, Gloria Steinem, play that.

• 1:00:09Speaker 03

  Gloria, at the festival, you worked for the Independent Research Service.

• 1:00:14Speaker 07

  That's right.

• 1:00:15Speaker 03

  Well, exactly when did your own association with the CIA start? And in what fashion? Did they come to you, or did you go to them?

• 1:00:24Speaker 07

  In 1958, when I came home from India. I'd discussed with student leaders, past and present, many of them active with the National Student Association, this kind of small foundation to encourage Americans to go. They thought it was a good idea, too. I was then told by foundations and professors and friends that I should not do this, that I would get in trouble with the House on American Activities Committee, the American Legion, all of those 50s people. And I became convinced that it was impossible. It was at that point that the student leaders said to me that they had, in the past, received funds for international programs from the CIA, and that they felt that this was important

• 1:01:08Speaker 07

  and could also be partly funded by the CIA.

• 1:01:11Speaker 03

  Well, I mean, did you feel that you really tried?

• 1:01:13Speaker 07

  What?

• 1:01:13Speaker 03

  I mean, did you go around to all of the wealthy private foundations, wealthy private people, and explain your point of view? And then explain why you felt it was important that the United States be representative? In a certain way, what did they tell you?

• 1:01:27Speaker 07

  They told me that the Ford Foundation, for instance, told me that they thought we were too liberal and too controversial and that we would endanger their cultural programs in Austria. And the first festival was being held in Vienna.

• 1:01:38Duncan Trussell?

  What the fuck?

• 1:01:39Speaker 07

  It was not encouraging at all. And the private individuals to whom I went often had particular points of view to put forward, which would have been much, much more restricting than the CIA funds were, which were free. I mean, no one was told what to say.

• 1:01:57Speaker 03

  You mean they were free? You mean to say it was easier for you to work for the CIA than a private?

• 1:02:01Speaker 07

  That's right. That's right.

• 1:02:02Duncan Trussell?

  Great employer.

• 1:02:03Speaker 07

  The reason I think that comes as a surprise, as it did to me at the time, I mean, I had the conventional liberals view of the CIA as a right wing incendiary group. And I was amazed to discover that this was far from the case, that they were enlightened, liberal, nonpartisan activists of the sort who characterized the Kennedy administration.

• 1:02:26Duncan Trussell?

  Wow, that's cool, considering they killed him, you dumb [BLEEP], you stupid fucking lying bitch. Help me understand this. Why, why does the CIA want people to go to India?

• 1:02:41Kurt Metzger?

  That's a great question, Duncan, because the CIA works for the New World Order, motherfucker.

• 1:02:48Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, my God.

• 1:02:48Duncan Trussell?

  Sorry, dude. Wait, but I don't understand, like, what, what, can you be a little more specific, like, what, how does it benefit?

• 1:02:56Kurt Metzger?

  Okay, you know how all the bullshit comes out of India that is new age bullshit that we get? Whether it was good in India or not, we get an American version here that is not good, and it's a fact. So all that is because of a few rich people, the Beatles and the, and, you know, aristocracy in England that love a good caste system. The British have a love affair with India, they, because of the caste system, that, God, everybody knows their fucking place, it's wonderful if you're a fucking, if you're a stinking fucking monarchist. And so, uh, they, we need, we need a one, uh, we talked about this on another episode in the future. The one world religion from the UN, remember we looked at that?

• 1:03:38Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, the altar.

• 1:03:40Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, and it looks like modern art nightmare.

• 1:03:42Duncan Trussell?

  It's scary.

• 1:03:43Kurt Metzger?

  Okay, watch, there was a musical guest at Davos, you ever see the wackadoo things that?

• 1:03:48Duncan Trussell?

  No.

• 1:03:49Kurt Metzger?

  Yo, will you put Davos?

• 1:03:53Kurt Metzger?

  Just think of the craziest publicly funded shit.

• 1:03:56Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, okay.

• 1:03:57Kurt Metzger?

  Do you know what I mean of like, like, um, cultural, because some oligarch thought that, and it's always bad, you know? But the lady that funded the, the show I made to cut out, uh, wants them to scale those weed laws way back that they have. So I'm, hey, I can get right on board with that.

• 1:04:14Duncan Trussell?

  Right.

• 1:04:15Kurt Metzger?

  Okay, wait, but you gotta put the Davos musical.

• 1:04:18Duncan Trussell?

  Davos musical?

• 1:04:19Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, Davos music guest, you gotta listen to this shit, it's,

• 1:04:24Kurt Metzger?

  yeah, let's see, and get video of it.

• 1:04:30Duncan Trussell?

  Oh, I'm so excited to see this. I so hope you can find this.

• 1:04:33Kurt Metzger?

  No, put like weird musical, put weird in it, so, because somebody had to have clipped it. There, some of the just people like, okay, let's see, let's see what that says, maybe they'll have it.

• 1:04:49Duncan Trussell?

  But let's start in the Swiss Alps, where else? I showed you some of the antichic Davos last week, the annual World Economic Forum event where big business and big government try to impose their great reset without resorting to painful processes like, you know, democracy. But over the weekend, it's only gotten more ridiculous. Look at what the rich, woke, and earnest have been getting up to. Is it up to now?

• 1:05:21Kurt Metzger?

  What name one thing wrong with them?

• 1:05:22Duncan Trussell?

  Nothing.

• 1:05:25Kurt Metzger?

  Who is that?

• 1:05:26Duncan Trussell?

  It's like Ray Gun.

• 1:05:30Kurt Metzger?

  It's the Ray Gun of, uh, break singing.

• 1:05:33Duncan Trussell?

  Is an example of music building climate awareness. What? Play it again, can we play it one more time, please?

• 1:05:42Kurt Metzger?

  I'm sorry, dude.

• 1:05:42Duncan Trussell?

  Now, I mentioned.

• 1:05:48Duncan Trussell?

  I can make something with this.

• 1:05:50Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, we've got to remix this.

• 1:05:52Duncan Trussell?

  We can remix it for fat, black flesh.

• 1:05:58Kurt Metzger?

  Flatback flesh.

• 1:05:59Duncan Trussell?

  Flatback flesh. That apparently is an example of music building climate awareness. All right.

• 1:06:07Kurt Metzger?

  So wait, but do you see how that's a memorable thing? And it's like, um,

• 1:06:10Duncan Trussell?

  That's crazy.

• 1:06:12Kurt Metzger?

  No, I forgot it was about climate awareness, that's really funny, uh, but, so all these stupid displays, you know, people, like I said, they dress like idiots or they act fucking dumb on a thing to get your attention, so they can slip their little bullshit ideas.

• 1:06:25Duncan Trussell?

  You mean like the Olympics opening ceremony everyone got so buttered about?

• 1:06:29Kurt Metzger?

  Let, let's look at that, what was so bad about it?

• 1:06:32Kurt Metzger?

  I forget, because the guy had his nut out next to that fucking?

• 1:06:34Duncan Trussell?

  It was more, it was one of the craziest, it was crazy, because they had a horseman of the?

• 1:06:40Kurt Metzger?

  Just because the guy showed dick.

• 1:06:41Duncan Trussell?

  Now they had a horseman of the apocalypse, pull up Olympics opening ceremony horseman. Like, they, it was like designed to fuck with people like us.

• 1:06:53Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, oh, oh, they're, yeah, here we go.

• 1:06:59Duncan Trussell?

  Wait, I want to make sure this is the one that was in Paris. No, this isn't it. It's the one in Paris.

• 1:07:06Kurt Metzger?

  You know the one with the blue guy that's Dionysus?

• 1:07:08Duncan Trussell?

  The blue dude.

• 1:07:10Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, but Macron's wife don't have a dick, huh?

• 1:07:12Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, 300.

• 1:07:14Kurt Metzger?

  You saw the one with the scorpion woman, that like it's the French like fucking devil festival?

• 1:07:18Duncan Trussell?

  I don't know, everyone knows about this, we don't have to show the clip, people saw it, everyone, anyone who watches this show knows about this, we don't have to dig around, oh, there you go.

• 1:07:27Duncan Trussell?

  Great, you know, it's like,

• 1:07:29Kurt Metzger?

  Well, there's no Lucifer, but it'll do.

• 1:07:31Duncan Trussell?

  You want to, you're, you're watching this with your fucking kids.

• 1:07:34Kurt Metzger?

  Why?

• 1:07:35Duncan Trussell?

  Because it's the, it's the Olympics, they're interested.

• 1:07:38Kurt Metzger?

  The pagan eugenics festival to the gods we don't follow.

• 1:07:40Duncan Trussell?

  And then they have the horsemen of the apocalypse galloping after they show the blue dude last?

• 1:07:46Kurt Metzger?

  It's like you went to a drag show with your kids and you're mad the drag queens did too much double entendre.

• 1:07:51Duncan Trussell?

  I didn't think, it's the Olympics, nobody said drag show.

• 1:07:54Kurt Metzger?

  Yes, the Olympics is a eugenics.

• 1:07:57Duncan Trussell?

  What?

• 1:07:57Kurt Metzger?

  Festival.

• 1:07:58Duncan Trussell?

  The Olympics?

• 1:07:59Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, to the Olympian gods, so, for example, by the way, that blue guy is an Olympian god, he belongs there, you know who don't belong there? A Christian. That's a festival that that guy's supposed to be at, so nobody knows what anything is, and they go, oh, you're supposed to watch this stupid shit. And that's how they get you, that's how they get you.

• 1:08:20Duncan Trussell?

  They didn't get me, it was weird.

• 1:08:22Kurt Metzger?

  I need to make a donation to CBN right now.

• 1:08:24Duncan Trussell?

  Why don't you, because CBN told me to watch the Olympics.

• 1:08:26Kurt Metzger?

  What was the guy's name again?

• 1:08:28Duncan Trussell?

  Who?

• 1:08:29Kurt Metzger?

  The lovely gentleman that you fucking ear [BLEEP] on the phone. The Filipino, the guy that you Louis CK'd on the phone, basically?

• 1:08:38Duncan Trussell?

  I did not ear [BLEEP] anybody, man. I don't appreciate the accusation.

• 1:08:44Kurt Metzger?

  That's what they said about Louis. And, and listen, I was watching the whole time, you're Dick Burke, and I didn't see any movement. But he doesn't know that.

• 1:08:52Duncan Trussell?

  I tuck.

• 1:08:53Kurt Metzger?

  So it's this, oh.

• 1:08:55Duncan Trussell?

  I tuck. I have anxiety orgasm disorder, so anytime I get anxious, I come, and it's a nightmare of my life. And when I make calls like that, I get anxious, and I came several times during that call, and I do not.

• 1:09:07Kurt Metzger?

  So you were still just trying to get him to hit the escape for, for computer reasons?

• 1:09:12Duncan Trussell?

  Dude, I totally was just trying to see if I could get him to hit escape, the sultry voice happened to be because I have anxiety and I was coming at the same time, but they were unrelated, I'm neurodivergent, and I don't appreciate.

• 1:09:24Kurt Metzger?

  Sounds like it. Sounds like it diverged quite a bit from the, uh,

• 1:09:28Duncan Trussell?

  Oh, here we go, with the orgasm jokes, I guess it's funny to you that I come 80 times a day. I come when I get anxious.

• 1:09:35Kurt Metzger?

  First of all, that, it's horrifying, that, 80 times a day?

• 1:09:39Duncan Trussell?

  Yes, it is, it's a nightmare of my life, and every man in my family's experienced this, when we get anxious, some people pass out, some people, when they get anxious, they pass out, the trussels come when we get anxious, and it hurts.

• 1:09:52Kurt Metzger?

  Sometimes I, uh, now I've been so anxious.

• 1:09:54Duncan Trussell?

  Have you ever come blood? Okay, we come blood, that's how hard we come, and it's not a prostate thing, we get every, we've tried everything, right now, I am,

• 1:10:05Kurt Metzger?

  Stigmata.

• 1:10:06Duncan Trussell?

  What?

• 1:10:06Kurt Metzger?

  Stigmata.

• 1:10:08Duncan Trussell?

  I've entertained the thought.

• 1:10:10Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah.

• 1:10:10Duncan Trussell?

  I've entertained the thought.

• 1:10:11Kurt Metzger?

  Mm-hmm, okay, go on, what happens?

• 1:10:14Duncan Trussell?

  I get anxious and I come. That's what happens.

• 1:10:18Kurt Metzger?

  I mean, the, I mean, the blood part is very concerning.

• 1:10:20Duncan Trussell?

  That's how hard you come. Depends on what's happening, like, you know, if I'm just taking a walk.

• 1:10:26Kurt Metzger?

  If that was me and I had a machete, I'd chop my own dick off.

• 1:10:29Duncan Trussell?

  This morning, I was taking a walk and someone had an off-leash dog, and that makes me nervous, and I came, it was a light come, but I hit turbulence.

• 1:10:38Kurt Metzger?

  And then people go, what are you doing? You go, why don't you leash your dog?

• 1:10:41Duncan Trussell?

  No, we didn't, okay, you know what, I shouldn't have brought it up, because you're gonna make fun of it.

• 1:10:46Kurt Metzger?

  Dude, that's why you carry one of these, if someone's got an unleashed dog, you just carry one of these grabbers.

• 1:10:50Duncan Trussell?

  All right.

• 1:10:50Kurt Metzger?

  You go, hold on there, boy.

• 1:10:51Duncan Trussell?

  You know what, I'm not gonna, it killed my great grandfather.

• 1:10:56Kurt Metzger?

  What, this?

• 1:10:57Duncan Trussell?

  No, coming. He, he, he was so anxious.

• 1:11:01Kurt Metzger?

  I didn't know your grandfather, great grandfather had like the best death record.

• 1:11:04Duncan Trussell?

  No, it's not, you don't understand.

• 1:11:06Kurt Metzger?

  Death everybody wants.

• 1:11:07Duncan Trussell?

  This level of orgasm is not.

• 1:11:09Kurt Metzger?

  Gandolfini's death.

• 1:11:11Duncan Trussell?

  How did Gandolfini die?

• 1:11:12Kurt Metzger?

  Uh, he ran the pool, eating foie gras.

• 1:11:15Duncan Trussell?

  Oh, yeah, yeah.

• 1:11:16Kurt Metzger?

  He had a foie gras, then some giant prawns.

• 1:11:18Duncan Trussell?

  God took him home.

• 1:11:19Kurt Metzger?

  And a couple of Mai Tais.

• 1:11:20Duncan Trussell?

  God took him home.

• 1:11:21Kurt Metzger?

  And then he fucking died.

• 1:11:22Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 1:11:23Kurt Metzger?

  Over life well spent, just in that one week.

• 1:11:26Duncan Trussell?

  What a loss, man, what a loss.

• 1:11:28Kurt Metzger?

  Yo, Annie told me that her, her dad's brother, he passed away, and, um, he was like so fat that it created problems getting his body to the mainland.

• 1:11:39Duncan Trussell?

  It's a real problem.

• 1:11:40Kurt Metzger?

  Island, and it's, and it's just like how sad it is, and I'm like, what, that he died enormous on some tropical island, now it's your problem? That sounds great.

• 1:11:48Duncan Trussell?

  Sounds incredible.

• 1:11:49Kurt Metzger?

  Really, the moving important, you don't have to worry about it, that's your problem.

• 1:11:51Duncan Trussell?

  Isn't it fascinating, because like the obvious solution is to cut him up into chunks.

• 1:11:56Kurt Metzger?

  Yo, the Japanese would do it.

• 1:11:57Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, what's, he's gone, cut him into chunks.

• 1:12:00Kurt Metzger?

  Um, some religions you can't, right? I don't think, do Catholics cremate? I don't think they do.

• 1:12:05Duncan Trussell?

  You know, I'll show you how I want.

• 1:12:06Kurt Metzger?

  I think they stuff.

• 1:12:06Duncan Trussell?

  Can you pull up Tibetan sky burial? This is how I want to go out, for real, but I don't want to like inflict on my wife having to take my body to get eaten by vultures up in Tibet.

• 1:12:17Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, I thought it's like you go on this.

• 1:12:18Duncan Trussell?

  Go on YouTube, this is the best way to get rid of a body of all time, check it out.

• 1:12:25Kurt Metzger?

  Okay.

• 1:12:28Duncan Trussell?

  Look at this. This is incredible. You're gonna have to jump ahead. Just get to where the body and the vultures. Keep going.

• 1:12:35Kurt Metzger?

  With details.

• 1:12:36Duncan Trussell?

  Keep going. Yeah, there you go.

• 1:12:42Duncan Trussell?

  You see?

• 1:12:46Duncan Trussell?

  Isn't this amazing? You put, you cut the body up into chunks. And the vultures come and eat the body and fly away and it's gone.

• 1:12:57Duncan Trussell?

  It's one of the most beautiful ways to dispose of a body of all time.

• 1:13:01Kurt Metzger?

  Wait, you, hold on a minute. You think one of the, one of the most?

• 1:13:05Duncan Trussell?

  I think it's the best way to get rid of-

• 1:13:06Kurt Metzger?

  We're gonna have to do a top five list. Wait, stop, pause it, pause it. Hold on.

• 1:13:13Kurt Metzger?

  The most beautiful ways to get buried. I was gonna say eaten by pigs. But you think vultures are better?

• 1:13:19Duncan Trussell?

  I'll tell you why.

• 1:13:20Kurt Metzger?

  Why?

• 1:13:21Duncan Trussell?

  They fly. I think it's cooler that-

• 1:13:24Kurt Metzger?

  So they're pigeons, the trash bird?

• 1:13:26Duncan Trussell?

  It's not a trash bird. Those are beautiful birds, but I, I'm not saying it's not-

• 1:13:30Kurt Metzger?

  Carillon birds? Those are disgusting.

• 1:13:32Duncan Trussell?

  Oh, grow up. We need them in the ecosystem because of human cause-

• 1:13:37Kurt Metzger?

  Cause we're too cheap to pay for cremation.

• 1:13:38Duncan Trussell?

  Cause of human caused climate change. And these, the, it's beautiful, like you-

• 1:13:43Kurt Metzger?

  I admire this way of sidestepping the funeral business. I'm not gonna lie.

• 1:13:48Kurt Metzger?

  The funeral business is out of control.

• 1:13:49Duncan Trussell?

  The most corrupt, fucked up business ever.

• 1:13:52Kurt Metzger?

  Yo, if you pay the money here, you gave them a vulture's sky burial.

• 1:13:55Duncan Trussell?

  You get actual vultures. And they-

• 1:13:57Kurt Metzger?

  And they're gonna do more than eat the corpse, trust me on that.

• 1:14:00Duncan Trussell?

  They just carry you away. The Towers of Silence are disgusting. That's, isn't that just where you throw a body in a hole?

• 1:14:06Kurt Metzger?

  It's just, hey, call out if you're, if you're not dead.

• 1:14:10Duncan Trussell?

  To me, it's just lazy. You throw a body, the vo, the sky burial, your family has to cut your body up. Someone has to like machete your body into pieces. You give it to the vultures and then they fly to what?

• 1:14:21Kurt Metzger?

  Well, give it a few days before we do anything because, you know, people get buried alive all the time. And then they would have like those doorbells, like a ding dong way back up.

• 1:14:32Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, that's the wor, you're afraid of being buried alive. Have you read The Premature Burial by Edgar Allan Poe?

• 1:14:38Kurt Metzger?

  No.

• 1:14:38Duncan Trussell?

  Oh dude, I'm gonna send it to you. You gotta read it. You will fucking shit your pants.

• 1:14:42Kurt Metzger?

  Have you ever read The Premature Ejaculation by Dark James?

• 1:14:44Duncan Trussell?

  Are you fucking kidding? Of course. It's on my Substack. It's on my Substack.

• 1:14:49Kurt Metzger?

  Dark James, nervous jizz-er.

• 1:14:51Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, well, because making love makes me anxious and so I come right away. And dude, and again, I don't wanna get into it with you, man. I love you so much. I don't wanna like start like judging you, but I have-

• 1:15:04Kurt Metzger?

  How's your knee?

• 1:15:05Duncan Trussell?

  It's hurting.

• 1:15:06Kurt Metzger?

  You want legal Delta nine?

• 1:15:07Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, thank you so much. That's gonna help. Thank you so much.

• 1:15:09Kurt Metzger?

  A little bit of CB, CBDB?

• 1:15:11Duncan Trussell?

  I appreciate this, man.

• 1:15:12Kurt Metzger?

  A little bit of CBDB? Um, that's really fucking frightening, man. Um, okay.

• 1:15:18Duncan Trussell?

  What is frightening?

• 1:15:19Kurt Metzger?

  Uh, the thought of being buried alive. I, I hate it. I'll, I'll be honest. That's one of my one, I would say that's my one weakness.

• 1:15:28Duncan Trussell?

  Can you guys pull up that-

• 1:15:28Kurt Metzger?

  Being buried in the earth alive.

• 1:15:30Duncan Trussell?

  I'll show you, man. That, that makes me think of, can you guys pull up the Nutty Putty Cave Death? You know about this, right? Check this out, dude. This is gonna,

• 1:15:40Duncan Trussell?

  this is gonna, if you have my disorder, you would come. Um, on November, uh, you pull it up on YouTube because they show it after this.

• 1:15:48Speaker 05

  This is the entrance to one of the most dangerous caves on earth. A twisting clay lined labyrinth where walls grip like wet concrete and the passages narrow to the size of a-

• 1:15:57Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, that's what she said.

• 1:15:58Speaker 05

  A cave so lethal, it was sealed forever with a man still inside.

• 1:16:01Kurt Metzger?

  That's what she said!

• 1:16:04Speaker 05

  Welcome to a series that I'm calling scientifically interesting ways to die.

• 1:16:06Kurt Metzger?

  Wait, go back to the description of it. Can I hear? What is, how do we describe it? I mean, did it sound like some fucking? Does that sound like dirty pussy or not?

• 1:16:14Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, it did.

• 1:16:18Speaker 05

  This is the entrance to one of the most dangerous caves on earth. A twisting clay lined labyrinth where walls grip like wet concrete and the passages narrow to the size of a-

• 1:16:26Kurt Metzger?

  Yo, what is this accordion beat rap song?

• 1:16:28Speaker 05

  It was sealed forever with a man still inside.

• 1:16:30Kurt Metzger?

  Hey, come on, this kid's listening.

• 1:16:33Speaker 05

  Welcome to a series that I'm calling scientifically interesting ways to die.

• 1:16:36Duncan Trussell?

  Why don't you just say this series is called scientific? Why are you saying I'm calling?

• 1:16:39Speaker 05

  John Edward Jones entered Nutty Putty Cave with his brother Josh and a group of family and friends.

• 1:16:43Duncan Trussell?

  Dude, get ready. This is literally the worst death.

• 1:16:44Speaker 05

  The cave's largest chamber, the big slide. From there, John and a few others, all experienced cavers, decided to explore-

• 1:16:50Kurt Metzger?

  The birth canal?

• 1:16:51Speaker 05

  The birth canal. A tight but navigable passage leading down to a larger room.

• 1:16:55Duncan Trussell?

  Oh, come on. Just watch.

• 1:16:56Speaker 05

  Thinking he'd found the birth canal, John mistakenly entered an unmapped crevice.

• 1:16:59Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, no.

• 1:17:00Speaker 05

  Headfirst into a narrow seventy degree downward tunnel.

• 1:17:02Kurt Metzger?

  No!

• 1:17:03Speaker 05

  The crevice shrank to just ten inches high and eighteen inches wide. Expecting it to open up into a larger area beyond.

• 1:17:08Kurt Metzger?

  Unmapped crevice.

• 1:17:10Speaker 05

  Had a long chest past a tight lip in the rock, his hips caught.

• 1:17:12Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 1:17:12Speaker 05

  And he was wedged, head down, arms pinned to his side, unable to move. The human circulatory system is adapted to work with gravity.

• 1:17:19Kurt Metzger?

  Okay, I'm done with this.

• 1:17:20Speaker 05

  When upright, blood pools in the legs and muscle contractions plus one-way valves help push it back to the heart.

• 1:17:24Duncan Trussell?

  Well, see, you would be coming right now.

• 1:17:26Kurt Metzger?

  Why don't you call that poor Filipino?

• 1:17:26Duncan Trussell?

  If you had what I have, you would be coming right now. And then if I was laughing-

• 1:17:30Kurt Metzger?

  Hey, are you trying to come?

• 1:17:31Duncan Trussell?

  If I was laughing at you for coming right now, it would hurt your feelings.

• 1:17:36Kurt Metzger?

  Okay, can I tell you my problem?

• 1:17:38Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 1:17:38Speaker 05

  Instead, a complex body system was slowly assembled.

• 1:17:41Kurt Metzger?

  Okay. This is making me have to shit. And my problem is every time I shit, I come. So imagine I'm in double trouble right now.

• 1:17:48Duncan Trussell?

  But the difference is I'm not gonna make fun of you because when you shit, you come.

• 1:17:51Kurt Metzger?

  That's why they call me Jungle Jort. Cause I come when I shit and I shit when I come.

• 1:17:55Duncan Trussell?

  I suspected that, man.

• 1:17:57Kurt Metzger?

  A lot of people have.

• 1:17:59Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, that's rough, man.

• 1:18:00Kurt Metzger?

  Poopy time. Nutty putty. There's a place we can go where we come from shit. Nutty putty. Nutty putty. It's a good song.

• 1:18:10Duncan Trussell?

  I've come so many times when this show comes out on Thursday.

• 1:18:14Kurt Metzger?

  There's a threshold, the Dark James, and I've made a promise. If he ever hits the threshold, what was the hot, the watermark of too many comes in one day?

• 1:18:21Duncan Trussell?

  Four fifty. That's what killed my great grandfather.

• 1:18:24Kurt Metzger?

  If he ever gets up to like the four twenty range, he has begged me to cut his dick off with his machete.

• 1:18:28Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, but I don't even know if that would stop the comes.

• 1:18:30Kurt Metzger?

  But that's why I'm afraid to do it because I know I would be anxious if somebody-

• 1:18:35Duncan Trussell?

  That's the problem. Cause what's gonna happen?

• 1:18:37Kurt Metzger?

  If I'm coming, he's just coming with a machete.

• 1:18:38Duncan Trussell?

  While you're swinging the, the machete down, I will definitely come.

• 1:18:41Kurt Metzger?

  I know, dude. I don't wanna be covered and ruined machete and what, and for what?

• 1:18:46Duncan Trussell?

  Come doesn't ruin a machete.

• 1:18:48Kurt Metzger?

  I mean, if I had to die of being, having my dick macheted off or covered.

• 1:18:51Duncan Trussell?

  Okay, Princess. You want, you don't, you want a machete that didn't have come on it?

• 1:18:56Duncan Trussell?

  How are you, how are you gonna survive the apocalypse? I thought you were a prepper. You, oh, I don't want come on my machete. Okay, Princess. Oh my God. You need to-

• 1:19:07Kurt Metzger?

  Come on my machete, shit on my dick and a couple of claws.

• 1:19:12Duncan Trussell?

  Dude, I do, I actually have to take a shit. I will be right back.

• 1:19:15Kurt Metzger?

  I gotta take a really big shit. Fuck, I just came.

• 1:19:20Duncan Trussell?

  It's not funny. See, that's honestly not funny. It's just so not funny. It's so, it's such an easy thing.

• 1:19:25Kurt Metzger?

  I gotta take a shit. Oh! I have penile divergence.

• 1:19:29Duncan Trussell?

  Oh, God.

• 1:19:30Kurt Metzger?

  What?

• 1:19:32Speaker 03

  Like, there's just no way that you have to crap that bad, that you can't wait until the couple hour long podcast is over. I mean, maybe that's just me, but anyways, let me know what your thoughts are in the comments down-

• 1:19:59Duncan Trussell?

  Hey, by the way, Blood of Dawn Walker game. Oh my God. It's so fucking good. It's so good.

• 1:20:07Kurt Metzger?

  I've been playing.

• 1:20:08Duncan Trussell?

  What level are you?

• 1:20:09Kurt Metzger?

  Uh, I don't know. Like, I don't have shit yet. I'm, I know I'm at least thirteen or fourteen.

• 1:20:16Duncan Trussell?

  Have you gotten to the mo, the nunnery part?

• 1:20:18Kurt Metzger?

  That's where I'm at.

• 1:20:19Duncan Trussell?

  Me too. That's so funny.

• 1:20:20Kurt Metzger?

  But I just realized I shouldn't have given the guy the necklace.

• 1:20:24Duncan Trussell?

  You gave him that necklace? Dude, you lure him out into the nuns and they kill him. They kill him.

• 1:20:31Duncan Trussell?

  You get, that's a badass fucking pendant.

• 1:20:33Kurt Metzger?

  How did you get him in the, I know, how'd you, I thought maybe I could just kill him and take him.

• 1:20:36Duncan Trussell?

  He just said, you want the fucking, are you gonna give me the necklace? I said, no. And then he's like, we're gonna kill you. And then I got them to chase me out into those nuns and then they ate him.

• 1:20:46Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, and then you, oh, it didn't occur to me.

• 1:20:48Duncan Trussell?

  And then you get the necklace and you piss off Princess.

• 1:20:51Kurt Metzger?

  Brinch-ish.

• 1:20:52Duncan Trussell?

  That's a dumb name for a vampire. Worst part of the game, Princess, the vampire.

• 1:20:57Kurt Metzger?

  Walachia. Cause you know the deal with fucking, uh, Drac, Count Dracula. His brother became like Mehmet, Mehmet's lover.

• 1:21:04Duncan Trussell?

  Oh, I didn't know that.

• 1:21:06Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah. So that's the hostage thing. And they both got tortured and raped and horrible shit. You know-

• 1:21:11Duncan Trussell?

  Dracula did?

• 1:21:12Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah.

• 1:21:13Duncan Trussell?

  Dracula got tortured?

• 1:21:14Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, by his, his, um, adoptive family, the Turks. Cause he's a hostage. So you know how they doing, in Game of Thrones, they show it. Somebody, you grow up as one of the kids, but you're a hostage. So if you're, whoever rebels, you know, when you hear these alien things, like in X-Files, that was the deal that supposedly, uh, Magic Twelve made with the aliens where they had to give a kid as a hostage, right?

• 1:21:36Duncan Trussell?

  Right.

• 1:21:37Kurt Metzger?

  That's old school nobility thing.

• 1:21:38Duncan Trussell?

  I didn't know that, but that's fucked up.

• 1:21:40Kurt Metzger?

  You've seen it in things, right? Everybody's at least heard of this.

• 1:21:42Duncan Trussell?

  No.

• 1:21:43Kurt Metzger?

  You guys, Game of Thrones, anyone?

• 1:21:46Duncan Trussell?

  Game of Thrones, we've heard of, but the majestic twelve giving children for-

• 1:21:50Kurt Metzger?

  X-Files, anybody hear X-Files? Yeah. Anyway, it's a standard practice of the royale class and they fucking give each, so, uh, because Walachia is under the Turkish Muslim control. They had, they had to give two sons.

• 1:22:04Duncan Trussell?

  You mean Transylvania?

• 1:22:06Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah.

• 1:22:07Duncan Trussell?

  Uh, wait.

• 1:22:08Kurt Metzger?

  Wait, what is the-

• 1:22:09Duncan Trussell?

  Wait, Walachia is Transylvania?

• 1:22:11Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah.

• 1:22:14Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah.

• 1:22:14Duncan Trussell?

  Cause just the way you went, yeah, it's like, everybody knows that.

• 1:22:17Kurt Metzger?

  Well, I assume that you've extent, I'm just going off your outfit that you've traveled extensively through Walekia, probably to some sort of Sholomancer school. That's being Solomon in, in, uh, Walekia.

• 1:22:30Duncan Trussell?

  I've been to Transylvania, but we don't call it Walekia.

• 1:22:33Kurt Metzger?

  Mountain areas.

• 1:22:34Duncan Trussell?

  Nobody calls it Walekia.

• 1:22:36Kurt Metzger?

  So that's a real, uh, intersection of, um, like, it's like Germany and Turkey almost meeting at the end. Like Eastern Europe and Turkey kind of.

• 1:22:45Duncan Trussell?

  Oh shit, hang on, my, I'm sorry, my bag's leaking.

• 1:22:48Kurt Metzger?

  Mine too, cause I had to shit.

• 1:22:50Duncan Trussell?

  Oh dude, did you come?

• 1:22:52Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, I told, I shit, didn't I? Hey, you know what, uh, Nate Bargatze told me a long time ago, when he went and played, uh, USO?

• 1:23:00Duncan Trussell?

  What?

• 1:23:02Kurt Metzger?

  I don't remember if Nate saw this or the guy saw it, but maybe it was Nate that saw, but he, uh, you could stay in Saddam's palace. You know, when they call, you know, his palaces, but they weren't like that nice on the inside. They're kind of more on the outside. And, um, woke up and a guy, and they all have his mustache or something, you know, and, and, and he got up.

• 1:23:22Duncan Trussell?

  Wait, what? The people who work at Saddam's palace all have to have that mustache?

• 1:23:26Kurt Metzger?

  Iraqis all at some point in their life.

• 1:23:29Duncan Trussell?

  It's like an Iraqi thing to have that mustache.

• 1:23:31Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, yeah. And, um, you know, he, uh, got up and saw this guy with Saddam's style mustache. See, that's a common mustache, was taking a shit on the side of the wall of the house, of the mansion. Like he was leaning against the mansion and taking a shit, right?

• 1:23:46Duncan Trussell?

  It's like protest.

• 1:23:47Kurt Metzger?

  Yo, the, yeah, the guy shit on his mansion every day now. If people didn't like him, would do that, right? And then another guy, same mustache comes over and whips his dick out and the guy taking a shit starts sucking his dick.

• 1:23:57Duncan Trussell?

  What?

• 1:24:01Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, you heard what I said. Uh, guy's taking a shit, another guy takes his dick out. Hey, you wanna suck some dick? Goes, well, I'm taking a shit, aren't I? Yeah, I wanna suck some dick. I'm over here taking a shit.

• 1:24:14Duncan Trussell?

  Crazy.

• 1:24:14Kurt Metzger?

  Really mustache ride that pecker.

• 1:24:16Duncan Trussell?

  That's just crazy.

• 1:24:17Kurt Metzger?

  While a nice Christian boy Nate Bargatze, while clean comedian Nate Bargatze looks on.

• 1:24:21Duncan Trussell?

  Looking at his window like.

• 1:24:23Kurt Metzger?

  Thank you for your service, Nate Bargatze.

• 1:24:25Duncan Trussell?

  What the fuck is happening?

• 1:24:26Kurt Metzger?

  Nate might've told, I, I hope it didn't happen to Nate, cause that would really, that'd be a haunting image, wouldn't it?

• 1:24:34Duncan Trussell?

  It's just crazy to think this guy is sucking the shitter's dick, not knowing that like, someone who would become one of the most successful comedians was watching him suck.

• 1:24:47Kurt Metzger?

  Wow.

• 1:24:48Duncan Trussell?

  The shitter's dick.

• 1:24:49Kurt Metzger?

  You know, the closest thing I have to that, and it's not even close, but the closest thing I have to that, but that's really something. One time I was in the cellar and, uh, you know, I remember there was a time when we used to get 25 bags of coke with our shitty $25 we got for the spots.

• 1:25:02Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 1:25:03Kurt Metzger?

  Right? So it was just.

• 1:25:04Duncan Trussell?

  You know, the Comedy Store supposedly they used to, in the sixties or in the seventies, uh, they would just pay with coke. Like they skipped the part. I don't know, but guys, this is a rumor.

• 1:25:16Kurt Metzger?

  Well.

• 1:25:16Duncan Trussell?

  The Comedy Store doesn't endorse this, but I did hear that maybe the, someone in the cover booth would pay in coke. I don't know if that's true, guys. The Comedy Store does not endorse cocaine.

• 1:25:28Kurt Metzger?

  Well, I got good news as far as legality of it. I'm pretty sure it was mostly baby laxative, cause I would have to shit immediately the second I key bumped it.

• 1:25:34Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 1:25:35Kurt Metzger?

  So that was baby laxative mostly.

• 1:25:37Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 1:25:38Kurt Metzger?

  Um, but anyway, I remember I was like, oh, yeah, it's just, I was shit and took it. So I'm like, dude. It's a little bathroom in the cellar, the, uh, the bottom, you know?

• 1:25:46Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 1:25:47Kurt Metzger?

  Um, and I, and I come out and I'm like, oh, thank God that's over. And I thought I was gonna get out clean, but someone had come in. I thought they had left, but.

• 1:25:54Duncan Trussell?

  Hate it when that happens.

• 1:25:55Kurt Metzger?

  And I come out and it's Chevy Chase. And he just looks at me like, that was, I know you stunk up this bathroom and that was you.

• 1:26:03Duncan Trussell?

  Vengeance is mine, saith the Lord.

• 1:26:05Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, but that's not as close as, that's like, I knew who was, you know what I mean? Like, like.

• 1:26:14Duncan Trussell?

  You're watching Fletch as a kid.

• 1:26:16Kurt Metzger?

  You're talking about.

• 1:26:16Duncan Trussell?

  You didn't know one day he would know what your shit smelled like.

• 1:26:19Kurt Metzger?

  And like judge me for it and look at me.

• 1:26:21Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 1:26:22Kurt Metzger?

  A guy who, let's face it, he wasn't no stranger to coke, uh.

• 1:26:26Duncan Trussell?

  That's true.

• 1:26:27Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, is he judging me? You've never had a coke shit? Fuck you.

• 1:26:30Duncan Trussell?

  Uh, you know, I've, I've performed on a great many drugs, but never cocaine. What's it like?

• 1:26:36Kurt Metzger?

  Never?

• 1:26:37Duncan Trussell?

  I've never performed on blow. I performed on mushrooms, acid, ketamine. I've never.

• 1:26:44Kurt Metzger?

  Ketamine?

• 1:26:45Duncan Trussell?

  Not, not good.

• 1:26:46Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah.

• 1:26:47Duncan Trussell?

  Not good for standup.

• 1:26:49Kurt Metzger?

  Not at all.

• 1:26:50Duncan Trussell?

  No.

• 1:26:51Kurt Metzger?

  Would you have to try to puppeteer your body from the sucking place?

• 1:26:54Duncan Trussell?

  Not like a K hold, you know, just like a bar bump.

• 1:26:59Kurt Metzger?

  I, dude, a bar bump would make me not be able to do comedy.

• 1:27:02Duncan Trussell?

  Please. A light, a little, a little kiss from ketamine is, you're gonna be fine, but it definitely threw my timing off a little bit.

• 1:27:10Kurt Metzger?

  The dissociative is taking me away from the audience that I'm trying to reach out and psychically.

• 1:27:15Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, it didn't, wasn't good. I wouldn't recommend it.

• 1:27:17Kurt Metzger?

  Um, but blow, what'll happen is, uh, you get some confident, when you're young doing it, there's confidence you get from it, right? From the stage. It could be good or bad, depending on if you're funny or not. However, there's a point that it turns on you, like all things, and, uh, and then it's not gonna help.

• 1:27:36Duncan Trussell?

  What is that like? The turning point? What's that like?

• 1:27:40Kurt Metzger?

  It's like, uh, the trying to balance drinking alcohol versus bumps of coke, right?

• 1:27:46Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 1:27:46Kurt Metzger?

  And you drink like 300,000 calorie, like this is, I mean, Three Claws is a fat fucking man. I'm like a fat fuck.

• 1:27:53Duncan Trussell?

  You just drink a shit ton of booze.

• 1:27:55Kurt Metzger?

  That's why I look like Bennett from, uh, Commando.

• 1:27:59Kurt Metzger?

  He's taller than Arnold, but he looks like fucking, he's got like Will Ferrell body.

• 1:28:05Duncan Trussell?

  You know, that experience, I've had that on LSD where you're on, on good LSD and you can drink forever with no.

• 1:28:16Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, that's fucking weird.

• 1:28:17Duncan Trussell?

  And then suddenly.

• 1:28:18Kurt Metzger?

  Which makes you a better standup comedian? Alcohol or suicide? Uh, tough call. Okay.

• 1:28:25Duncan Trussell?

  The illusion.

• 1:28:26Kurt Metzger?

  So, look, none of these things, they're all like perspective changes. So anything that you do over and over again, you're not getting a protective change. That's, that to me, that's like the turning on you where it's not gonna help. Um, also, if you're having a panic attack, you know, cause you think you did something you shouldn't have done.

• 1:28:42Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 1:28:43Kurt Metzger?

  We go on, that sucks. You're coming all over the.

• 1:28:45Duncan Trussell?

  You mean shitting in front of Chevy Chase?

• 1:28:46Kurt Metzger?

  Dude, just shitting and coming all over the stage, cause I was freaking out about the coke I did.

• 1:28:50Duncan Trussell?

  Came, yeah.

• 1:28:51Kurt Metzger?

  You think that's gonna make you a better comedian?

• 1:28:53Duncan Trussell?

  No, you're gonna feel naughty up there.

• 1:28:55Kurt Metzger?

  People who remember laugh, but.

• 1:28:57Duncan Trussell?

  Naughty boy.

• 1:28:58Kurt Metzger?

  In the moment, it was like, uh, less fun Gallagher.

• 1:29:02Duncan Trussell?

  And he was, he was fun?

• 1:29:04Kurt Metzger?

  He was fun, but, you know, but a Gallagher who, uh, doesn't, didn't come up with the Ninja Turtles movie.

• 1:29:11Duncan Trussell?

  Gallagher came up with a ninja.

• 1:29:13Kurt Metzger?

  And he was cheated.

• 1:29:14Duncan Trussell?

  What? Can we pull that up? What?

• 1:29:17Kurt Metzger?

  I'm sorry. I didn't wanna drop it on you.

• 1:29:19Duncan Trussell?

  Are you kidding me?

• 1:29:20Kurt Metzger?

  I don't know. Gallagher was go, he's dead now. God rest his fucking mallet. God rest his suspenders. He's not with us no more, but yeah, his idea was to make that original. Remember the old Ninja Turtles movie?

• 1:29:32Duncan Trussell?

  Did not create. This is, this is misinformation. This did not happen.

• 1:29:36Kurt Metzger?

  Look, look at that video. See that? What you do, wait, wait, they see that? What, what's that say?

• 1:29:41Duncan Trussell?

  What? Let's see this.

• 1:29:44Kurt Metzger?

  Just like a little stupid highlight effect. Oh, that's fun.

• 1:29:49Kurt Metzger?

  I like that.

• 1:29:49Speaker 06

  Was it a water milling, hating standup comedian?

• 1:29:53Kurt Metzger?

  Whoa, don't bring race into it.

• 1:29:56Duncan Trussell?

  Come on now.

• 1:29:58Kurt Metzger?

  Okay, not when I got the machete.

• 1:30:00Duncan Trussell?

  Keep, please just keep playing.

• 1:30:02Speaker 06

  That got the first teenage mutant ninja turtles movie made? Well, we'll tell you.

• 1:30:11Duncan Trussell?

  Wow. This guy put some work into this.

• 1:30:14Speaker 06

  Show another way or both ways.

• 1:30:17Speaker 06

  Then the two were brainstorming and watching bad TV.

• 1:30:19Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, how do you catch it?

• 1:30:20Duncan Trussell?

  Gallagher?

• 1:30:21Kurt Metzger?

  One by the throat?

• 1:30:22Speaker 06

  Refund and a loan from Eastman's uncle to self-publish.

• 1:30:25Kurt Metzger?

  Okay, never mind, never mind this, uh, uh.

• 1:30:28Duncan Trussell?

  I'm gonna take your word for it. The Gallagher claims to have.

• 1:30:32Kurt Metzger?

  Yo, Gallagher always talks about, he says his manager robbed him and he got that.

• 1:30:35Duncan Trussell?

  Wow.

• 1:30:36Kurt Metzger?

  Like the way Ryan Reynolds, Ryan, well, Ryan Reynolds. The way Rhino Reynolds got, you like Rhino Reynolds?

• 1:30:42Duncan Trussell?

  I like Ryan Reynolds.

• 1:30:44Kurt Metzger?

  Rhino Reynolds.

• 1:30:45Duncan Trussell?

  Oh no, I don't like Rhino Reynolds at all. Are you talking about the porn star?

• 1:30:49Kurt Metzger?

  Rhino Reynolds? No. Oh, that is a good name for porno.

• 1:30:53Duncan Trussell?

  Rhino Reynolds?

• 1:30:54Kurt Metzger?

  Okay.

• 1:30:55Duncan Trussell?

  The fisting man.

• 1:30:56Kurt Metzger?

  Let's just insert a different opening right now. Hi, I'm Rhino Reynolds.

• 1:31:00Duncan Trussell?

  You're talking about Rhino Reynolds, a fisting man? He looks like a scarecrow and if you go into the field, he fists you?

• 1:31:06Kurt Metzger?

  Maybe.

• 1:31:07Duncan Trussell?

  Come on.

• 1:31:08Kurt Metzger?

  It's not a fist, it's a grab and machete. Grab machete. Grab machete.

• 1:31:12Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, scary, but that's not Rhino Reynolds. I've seen so many of his videos. He's in the scarecrow costume. You go, someone goes into the field, usually a hunk, and, and they're like, I'm lost. And then the scarecrow comes down and fists them. Rhino Reynolds.

• 1:31:28Kurt Metzger?

  Uh, uh, hold on. If you're gonna start writing music, I gotta write the lyrics down. Okay, Ri, say that again?

• 1:31:33Duncan Trussell?

  Okay. You, Rhino Reynolds is a scarecrow man. When hunks come into the field, they are usually lost.

• 1:31:41Kurt Metzger?

  Is a scarecrow man.

• 1:31:42Duncan Trussell?

  Hunks come into the field, they're lost. Oh fuck, what wrongs with cannon?

• 1:31:50Kurt Metzger?

  Hunks come in.

• 1:31:51Duncan Trussell?

  Hunks in the field.

• 1:31:52Kurt Metzger?

  Hunks get, uh, when hunks enter the field, they get lost. It's okay, we'll fit, clean up.

• 1:31:56Duncan Trussell?

  Hunks get, hunks go, this, I'm, by the way, guys, this is on Xhamster. You can find it. This is not my original idea. Hunks come into the field.

• 1:32:04Kurt Metzger?

  They are usually lost.

• 1:32:05Duncan Trussell?

  They're lost, cause the, their compass is.

• 1:32:07Kurt Metzger?

  Rhino Reynolds is too late.

• 1:32:09Duncan Trussell?

  Their compass.

• 1:32:09Kurt Metzger?

  Now I'm your boss.

• 1:32:11Duncan Trussell?

  I guess you could say this. Compass spins, scarecrow grins, fisting begins.

• 1:32:16Kurt Metzger?

  Whoa, whoa, whoa, compass spins.

• 1:32:18Duncan Trussell?

  Scarecrow grins.

• 1:32:20Kurt Metzger?

  Scarecrow grins.

• 1:32:23Duncan Trussell?

  Fisting begins.

• 1:32:25Kurt Metzger?

  Okay, fisting begins.

• 1:32:28Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah. Try to run, you're wasting your time.

• 1:32:35Duncan Trussell?

  Lay on your stomach, that ass is mine. If you want your way out.

• 1:32:40Kurt Metzger?

  Wait, wait, wait, wait. Try to run away, but you're wasting your time. Oh, this is getting.

• 1:32:45Duncan Trussell?

  Lay upon, lay on your, lay down on that six pack, your ass is mine.

• 1:32:57Kurt Metzger?

  Lay flat on your six pack, cause the asses, oh yeah, right. Compass spins. When punks go in his field, they're usually lost. Rhino Reynolds jumps down and says, now I'm your boss.

• 1:33:08Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 1:33:14Kurt Metzger?

  Is that Rhino Reynolds?

• 1:33:19Duncan Trussell?

  Rhino Reynolds is a scarecrow man stuffed with straw and a filthy plan. When punks wander through his cornfield late, they get turned around and seal their fate. As soon as they realize they are lost, he drops down from his post and screams. Now I'm your boss, first the compass spins. Then the scarecrow wins. That's when the hard work is beginning. Oh, Rhino Reynolds is a cornfield boss. Once you step inside, you are already lost. He butters up his fist as he lights a cigar. Lay that six pack down. Now I'm your boss, first the compass spins.

• 1:34:01Duncan Trussell?

  Then scarecrow wins. That's when the hard work is beginning. Rhino Reynolds, he's the scarecrow king, lost in his field. Hear the leather sing when the compass spins, then you're on your back. Rhino says your ass is mine and answer back. Now I'm your boss, first the compass spins. Then scarecrow wins. That's when the hard work is beginning.

• 1:34:36Duncan Trussell?

  Help, please help me. No.

• 1:34:39Kurt Metzger?

  Okay, so that's one full song, and then we've got to do the flat black, what was it called?

• 1:34:44Duncan Trussell?

  Fat black, fat, fat black. Fat, but fat, our version is fat back flesh. Or flat back flesh.

• 1:34:53Kurt Metzger?

  Fat black flesh, blah, blah, blah, fascist flesh, black, black flesh.

• 1:34:59Duncan Trussell?

  Fascist flesh. Fascist back fat flesh.

• 1:35:03Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, but black, flat flesh policing.

• 1:35:06Duncan Trussell?

  Back flat flesh. Back fat flesh.

• 1:35:09Kurt Metzger?

  It's like ice, but of, um, black.

• 1:35:11Duncan Trussell?

  Flat back flesh.

• 1:35:13Kurt Metzger?

  Got fat back flesh, blah, blah, blah, yeah, well, I got it. I got that song done, flat black flesh.

• 1:35:19Duncan Trussell?

  It's fat back flesh. I think fat, I honestly think fat back flesh is better than flat. Fat back flat, flat, fat.

• 1:35:29Kurt Metzger?

  Flat blacks. Flat, black, back flesh.

• 1:35:39Duncan Trussell?

  Flat fat back flesh is way better.

• 1:35:45Kurt Metzger?

  Don't put least your hands over your head.

• 1:35:56Kurt Metzger?

  Dude, when you told me that people were putting, um, stars on their pimples.

• 1:36:00Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 1:36:01Kurt Metzger?

  Are you guys aware of this? Can you get a picture? I didn't know, okay.

• 1:36:05Duncan Trussell?

  I was shocked you'd never heard of that.

• 1:36:07Kurt Metzger?

  I'm an old bushwhacker, as you know.

• 1:36:09Duncan Trussell?

  How do you not, how, you know so much stuff, but you missed this?

• 1:36:12Kurt Metzger?

  Well, guess what? I was in the airport and I texted you. Cause I'm buying a coffee and the girl has little stars on her face, all over, all over her face. And then it all came flooding back to me when you brought it up.

• 1:36:23Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 1:36:24Kurt Metzger?

  When you brought it up, it all came flooding back.

• 1:36:28Kurt Metzger?

  And I, and I, what a clever. You know, what a clever idea to, instead of having a pimple.

• 1:36:33Duncan Trussell?

  Mm hmm.

• 1:36:34Kurt Metzger?

  And we're covering it up.

• 1:36:36Duncan Trussell?

  You get a cool star.

• 1:36:37Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah. And then that way, people, instead of thinking, people think you're mentally retarded medically speaking. Cause that's what I think if you have stickers on your face, that you're a retarded person.

• 1:36:48Duncan Trussell?

  Come on.

• 1:36:49Kurt Metzger?

  But I support you.

• 1:36:49Duncan Trussell?

  That's a boomer.

• 1:36:50Kurt Metzger?

  But I support you.

• 1:36:51Duncan Trussell?

  You're being, okay, boomer. I think stickers are cool on my face.

• 1:36:55Kurt Metzger?

  Coming up, when I was coming up in the.

• 1:36:57Duncan Trussell?

  We, you would have done it if they thought of it.

• 1:36:59Kurt Metzger?

  In the Rhodesian bush.

• 1:37:03Kurt Metzger?

  As a boy soldier. In the Rhodesian boy.

• 1:37:06Duncan Trussell?

  Rhodesian bush boys would have been happy to put stickers on their zits if they knew.

• 1:37:12Kurt Metzger?

  And we would use, we'd come out of the bush with these grabbers.

• 1:37:15Duncan Trussell?

  Look, Rhodesian bush boys had, were notoriously covered in zits.

• 1:37:21Kurt Metzger?

  That's right. And you squeeze them with your squeezer.

• 1:37:23Duncan Trussell?

  I know. It's the worst when you put one of those bush boys out and he's got all those zits.

• 1:37:27Kurt Metzger?

  Well, I'm not putting stars on it because that's a target. Everyone wants to target the fire. Yeah. Aim for the stars. You know, it's gonna be on a vital. You know?

• 1:37:37Duncan Trussell?

  I guess you're right. Like from a military perspective, it could be a terrible idea.

• 1:37:42Kurt Metzger?

  How pimple stickers work? Um, oh my dear gosh. Uh, first unstrap helmet, then.

• 1:37:50Duncan Trussell?

  Come on, it is not retarded to put stickers on your zits. It's fashion, dude. It looks sexy. Can you pull, look at that, that's sexy.

• 1:37:59Kurt Metzger?

  I hope this chick's, I hope things, uh, I hope, look at you.

• 1:38:02Duncan Trussell?

  Dude, she's hot. That's sexy.

• 1:38:04Kurt Metzger?

  You're doing good.

• 1:38:06Duncan Trussell?

  Twinkle, twinkle, little star. These are beautiful, man. You're being closed minded. Pull up the heart one. This, this is not retarded. This is beauty. Look at how.

• 1:38:17Kurt Metzger?

  I don't know. There's gotta be better pictures of this.

• 1:38:20Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah.

• 1:38:21Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah. Okay.

• 1:38:22Duncan Trussell?

  It's beautiful. Look at it, look at, look.

• 1:38:24Kurt Metzger?

  Well, can I tell you something?

• 1:38:26Duncan Trussell?

  You would rather see like an oozing fucking herpes boil?

• 1:38:31Kurt Metzger?

  No, just stay inside or go to your period hut.

• 1:38:33Duncan Trussell?

  Put on a star.

• 1:38:34Kurt Metzger?

  Yo, do you have a working period hut? Wait out until this thing blows over.

• 1:38:37Duncan Trussell?

  Put on a star. You don't have to go in the hut.

• 1:38:39Kurt Metzger?

  No, this guy is definitely retarded. Look at that. That's a slow poke right there.

• 1:38:44Duncan Trussell?

  The guy on the right?

• 1:38:45Speaker 04

  That's Justin Bieber.

• 1:38:47Kurt Metzger?

  Is it?

• 1:38:48Duncan Trussell?

  Nice dude.

• 1:38:49Kurt Metzger?

  Oh man.

• 1:38:50Duncan Trussell?

  He complimented my beard, right? Bearded a Russian spa once.

• 1:38:53Kurt Metzger?

  Is that true?

• 1:38:54Duncan Trussell?

  Dude, it was crazy. I was like, there was this Russian, it's probably still there. There's a Russian spa in L.A. called Voda Spa. I really liked it. And like, I'd go there, cause like, there's, there. It's like, you know, not these bullshit spas where it doesn't get hot where it can kill you. Like they would, there's a room you could go into, it was so hot, you could die and they beat you with like a bush.

• 1:39:17Kurt Metzger?

  Then Michelle Obama fucks you with her dick.

• 1:39:19Duncan Trussell?

  So what?

• 1:39:20Kurt Metzger?

  Well, that's up to Bieber's.

• 1:39:22Duncan Trussell?

  Well, it doesn't.

• 1:39:22Kurt Metzger?

  Then she put a star in his butthole and that star didn't cover it.

• 1:39:25Duncan Trussell?

  Listen, you don't have to get all vulgar. The point is, and I, this is a name drop. Um, there was a dude there, he seemed kind of magnetic. I thought he worked there or something. And I was in the cold dip, like freezing, and he walked by and he's like, I like your beard, man. And then he went, he was being nice to everybody. So I thought he worked there.

• 1:39:43Kurt Metzger?

  The golden pony.

• 1:39:44Duncan Trussell?

  It was fucking Justin Bieber. People were like, Justin Bieber's here.

• 1:39:47Kurt Metzger?

  What's he doing at the Russian bathhouse complimenting guys' beards?

• 1:39:49Duncan Trussell?

  Steaming.

• 1:39:50Kurt Metzger?

  Did you go? I like your.

• 1:39:54Kurt Metzger?

  Hey, you go, hey, I like your beard, dude.

• 1:39:57Duncan Trussell?

  I just thought, that was like a beautiful dude who liked my beard. He, you know what I mean? He's a non, he's anomalously beautiful. And then he's just like going around, like being nice to everybody. And then someone's like, Justin Bieber's here. It's like, fuck. Guys, in one minute, I gotta go and cut me saying I have to go because the fans get mad because it seems like I'm always, I guess I am kind of always doing it, but.

• 1:40:17Kurt Metzger?

  What is he doing?

• 1:40:18Duncan Trussell?

  I have to go.

• 1:40:19Kurt Metzger?

  Take care of his kids again? Oh, great. Oh, there's nothing worse than a dedicated father.

• 1:40:25Duncan Trussell?

  I'm sorry, man. I'm trying to get past it. I'm in therapy to get past it.

• 1:40:31Kurt Metzger?

  I'll show you the comment, because whenever I get negative tweets or comments about Duncan, I send them to him, you know, to just let him know what's up with the show.

• 1:40:37Duncan Trussell?

  It feels good. Thank you.

• 1:40:41Kurt Metzger?

  So he goes, why don't you drop that dead weight, Duncan? Somebody who, with an account that just has only existed for a week.

• 1:40:50Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, there's one of them.

• 1:40:51Kurt Metzger?

  Really wants me to get rid of the dead weight of Duncan.

• 1:40:54Duncan Trussell?

  One of them.

• 1:40:55Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah. And I was like, but that's such a hilarious, like, you know, the guy that beat up Jonathan Khan or the guy pulls his pants down like fake. Like what did you do? I'll never know what you did to bring this.

• 1:41:06Duncan Trussell?

  No.

• 1:41:07Kurt Metzger?

  Like weird sock puppet where someone's saying.

• 1:41:09Duncan Trussell?

  It's so weird.

• 1:41:10Kurt Metzger?

  First of all, there's nobody that hates you that likes me that much.

• 1:41:14Duncan Trussell?

  No.

• 1:41:15Kurt Metzger?

  It's not a thing.

• 1:41:16Duncan Trussell?

  No, no, it's, it's, it's a bizarre kind of bot fly that descended on me.

• 1:41:20Kurt Metzger?

  But I just don't understand what.

• 1:41:22Duncan Trussell?

  I, I think back to like, what did I say to upset some like state agency to the point where they're like deploying swarms of bots?

• 1:41:32Kurt Metzger?

  Like you're getting like Democrat funded operations against, so, you know, because Democrats, I don't know if you know this, they can't go against Trump for all the reasons I would go against Trump because they're also guilty of those things.

• 1:41:42Duncan Trussell?

  Right. The absentee files, you mean?

• 1:41:44Kurt Metzger?

  Yeah, the thing that matters. So instead, they have to pay people to go after like the Rogan sphere, which, by the way, am I in it or not?

• 1:41:53Duncan Trussell?

  You're in it.

• 1:41:53Kurt Metzger?

  I feel left out every time.

• 1:41:54Duncan Trussell?

  No, you're in it. You're in it, baby. Yeah. Rogan sphere.

• 1:42:00Kurt Metzger?

  I watched the trades and I look for my face when they go Rogan sphere isn't funny. And I go, where am I?

• 1:42:06Duncan Trussell?

  You're in it. You're a part of the sphere, dude.

• 1:42:09Speaker 04

  You're in it, Kurt.

• 1:42:11Duncan Trussell?

  You're in the sphere, baby.

• 1:42:12Speaker 04

  Says right here.

• 1:42:13Kurt Metzger?

  Honestly?

• 1:42:14Duncan Trussell?

  You're in it.

• 1:42:15Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, who attached me?

• 1:42:16Duncan Trussell?

  You're firmly embedded in the Rogan sphere, firmly.

• 1:42:19Kurt Metzger?

  AI, you can't trust that. It hallucinates.

• 1:42:21Duncan Trussell?

  Well, I'll, I'll tell you one thing about the Rogan sphere. We all work for the CIA and we all go to dinner with Peter Thiel. You included. Don't act like you don't. We were just last Wednesday eating dinner with Peter Thiel.

• 1:42:33Kurt Metzger?

  Okay, but that's because I was discussing, uh, face maxing.

• 1:42:37Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, he's interested.

• 1:42:39Kurt Metzger?

  Like, look, what's the point of, uh, your face? Who, by the way, there's a lot, there's a lot of wrong shit in this and I don't care. Uh, what's the point of, um, of having your face if you're not maximizing every bit of value out of it and by tokenizing it?

• 1:42:53Duncan Trussell?

  Yes. Yes. Now you're speaking my language, NFTs and such.

• 1:43:00Kurt Metzger?

  Um, I got it. Oh, is Kurt Mesker looks maxing? That's a great question.

• 1:43:04Duncan Trussell?

  Yes, but mostly, mostly is a joke.

• 1:43:07Kurt Metzger?

  No, no, look, look. Please read that, Duncan.

• 1:43:10Duncan Trussell?

  Kurt Mesker famously leaned into the trim by getting a hair transplant in Turkey.

• 1:43:18Duncan Trussell?

  I'm telling you, AGI, baby.

• 1:43:20Kurt Metzger?

  AGI?

• 1:43:21Duncan Trussell?

  AGI. He knows everything. I did, he knows everything.

• 1:43:25Kurt Metzger?

  There's one last thing.

• 1:43:28Duncan Trussell?

  Don't bring him up. Come on, man.

• 1:43:31Kurt Metzger?

  One last thing.

• 1:43:32Duncan Trussell?

  Hey! Hey, did somebody say AGI? Huh huh. Hey, guess what? I've got an agentic system working right now to get boost my socials on my Instagram account. Follow me on Instagram, Buster. Yeah, guys. Hey, make sure you give me that like and subscribe, everybody. It helps the algorithm. You really like it. I've been posting-

• 1:43:55Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, you fucking... Alright, are you done?

• 1:43:57Duncan Trussell?

  No, I just wanna talk about my furry art. I've been-

• 1:44:07Duncan Trussell?

  Get him in there. Fuck you, Buster!

• 1:44:10Kurt Metzger?

  Let me break his legs.

• 1:44:11Duncan Trussell?

  Yeah, oh, no, please don't do that. Oh, God, Jesus, God, please, God, help me, forgive me, I'm so sorry, please. Ah, follow me on Instagram.

• 1:44:20Kurt Metzger?

  Oh dude, don't make me shit on my-

• 1:44:21Duncan Trussell?

  Mystery Buster-

• 1:44:21Kurt Metzger?

  Yo, don't make me shit, I'm gonna come, okay?

• 1:44:23Duncan Trussell?

  Mystery Buster on Instagram, it's all my furry art.

• 1:44:39Kurt Metzger?

  What is that, a little girl in there?

• 1:44:46Kurt Metzger?

  I can't hear so good.

• 1:44:49Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, what is it, a little girl? Is there a little girl in the drawer?

• 1:44:52Duncan Trussell?

  Good job, fuck you, Buster. Get back in that drawer!

• 1:44:56Kurt Metzger?

  Oh, little girl.

• 1:44:57Duncan Trussell?

  Nobody follow him on Instagram, by the way, nobody. Nobody follow him. If you follow him, you're not a fan of the show.

• 1:45:04Kurt Metzger?

  And we are watching for who follows him, unless you wanna get-

• 1:45:06Duncan Trussell?

  You're banned, insta-banned. If you follow him on Gram, you're banned from our accounts.

• 1:45:10Kurt Metzger?

  If I catch you in the streets after you follow him, I'm gonna grip it and rip it. Grip, rip, grip, rip.

• 1:45:16Duncan Trussell?

  Grip and rip.

• 1:45:19Kurt Metzger?

  You're gonna think Rhino Reynolds ran up through you. What happened to your knee?

• 1:45:23Duncan Trussell?

  I just can't.

• 1:45:26Duncan Trussell?

  I gotta go, I'm sorry, that's why I'm anxious, I gotta get out of here.

• 1:45:28Kurt Metzger?

  You wanna close with a prayer?

• 1:45:29Duncan Trussell?

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:45:32Duncan Trussell?

  Thank you, Jesus, for all that you've given us.

• 1:45:35Kurt Metzger?

  Wait, hold on.

• 1:45:36Duncan Trussell?

  I know, wait.

• 1:45:37Kurt Metzger?

  Just get up, my knee's-

• 1:45:39Duncan Trussell?

  Okay.

• 1:45:44Duncan Trussell?

  Are you doing it or not?

• 1:45:47Duncan Trussell?

  Oh no dude, are you alright?

• 1:45:50Duncan Trussell?

  God damn it, you guys, you guys have to pick-

• 1:46:59Duncan Trussell?

  Red Band is watching.