Parties in Puglia, Pronouncing Puglia & Pitbull

Joanne has been burning the candle at both ends. After a heavy weekend and one of the world's best parties, she's on the road proped up by energy drinks and stolen naps in wheelchairs. Vogue hasn't been quiet either and is worried that her recent partying may have lead her to develop a crush on Pitbull! If you’d like to get in touch, you can send an email to [email protected] Please review Global's Privacy Policy: https://global.com/legal/privacy-policy/ For merch, tour dates and more visit: www.mytherapistghostedme.com Joanne's comedy gigs: www.joannemcnally.com This episode contains explicit language and adult themes that may not be suitable for all listeners.

• 0:00Speaker 00

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• 1:00Speaker 01

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• 1:23Speaker 01

  Still haven't started? Hey, better late than ever. Sell your car today on Carvana. Pickup fees may apply.

• 1:32Speaker 02

  This is a Global Player original podcast.

• 1:45Speaker 03

  Well, hello. It's Joanne McNally from the podcast, My Therapist Ghosted Me, with my co-host.

• 1:52Speaker 04

  Also from the podcast, My Therapist Ghosted Me.

• 1:56Speaker 03

  We've done something new. With my special guest. With my very special guest.

• 2:02Speaker 04

  Thank you.

• 2:02Speaker 03

  My return contributor, Vogue.

• 2:05Speaker 04

  Thank you for having me, as always. I appreciate your time.

• 2:09Speaker 03

  No problem, Vogue, no problem. Just keep sending those invoices in.

• 2:15Speaker 03

  Just to flag, Joe Attie Well isn't here this week. He is on his holidays with his family, who he cares more about than us, which makes sense, because that's how it works.

• 2:24Speaker 04

  Enjoy your holidays, Joe. They'll probably be over by the time this goes out, so.

• 2:30Speaker 03

  Will they? I wonder where he is. He tells me nothing.

• 2:32Speaker 04

  No, he's, I know, I know where he is.

• 2:36Speaker 04

  Jersey.

• 2:37Speaker 03

  He tells me nothing.

• 2:38Speaker 04

  He went to Jersey.

• 2:38Speaker 03

  Oh, nice.

• 2:40Speaker 04

  Mmm, it's nice and sunny over there. It feels very fancy over there, because it's near France.

• 2:45Speaker 03

  Is he on, is he, is he out there committing tax fraud, or is he just relaxing?

• 2:48Speaker 04

  No, they've really tightened the reins there on the tax fraud there, to be honest with you, so I doubt it's that.

• 2:54Speaker 04

  He's gonna go to, he's going to Dubai instead. People are flocking to Dubai. Flocking. Some tax breaks going on out there, but I couldn't live in a hairdryer for half the year. I couldn't do it.

• 3:04Speaker 03

  What, while you mention, thanks for reminding me. I have a show on sale in Dubai, if anyone cares to join.

• 3:10Speaker 04

  God, I do, I do like to.

• 3:11Speaker 03

  Tickets are at all the, all the, all the usual places.

• 3:15Speaker 04

  I pulled it, Joanne.

• 3:16Speaker 03

  What, what does that mean? I'm sure it's going to be highly insulting, Tammy.

• 3:20Speaker 04

  Um, you've rubbed off on me. So basically, I have gorgeous new garden furniture. I've treated myself after five years of the old one. And, and I came home today, I was like, yes, the coffee table's here. Went inside, it's a ginormous dining table. And I wonder, I thought it was a quite an expensive coffee table. I was like, why is that so expensive? I was like, it'd be worth it. Be worth it.

• 3:41Speaker 03

  How big are we talking? Are we talking Alice in Wonderland size?

• 3:44Speaker 04

  Like, there's, it's, there's no way I can try and get away with it as a coffee table. And I told them to take the boxes, because I was like, take the boxes. So I'm desperately trying to get in touch with somebody for them to swap it. And I just, I just feels, I just feels like something you would do.

• 3:59Speaker 03

  Well, I had to get, I had to get a friend in to measure my walls for all this furniture I'm trying to get into the flat ahead of this TV episode that I'm doing. And even still, she was trying to teach me how to do it. And I was like, do you know what it is? It's sums. It's maths, it's numbers. My brain just refuses to compute them. It might as well be Arabic. It might as well be Latin. It might as well be wifi codes. I can't make any sense of it. And because I know I'm not good at it, I have no interest in even trying. Like, I gave up. I remember years, like years ago, when I was a very young child, my father, God rest his soul, was trying to teach me.

• 4:42Speaker 04

  Unhappy Father's Day.

• 4:43Speaker 03

  That's, is it not, is it the American Father's Day or is it the?

• 4:46Speaker 04

  No, it's the, it's the UK Father's Day.

• 4:48Speaker 03

  Is it?

• 4:49Speaker 04

  European, mhm.

• 4:50Speaker 03

  Um, late into the night in the kitchen, like with one, one bulb lit up over the kitchen table, all the rest of the house dark, it was like I was being, it was like an FBI interrogation. He was like, why can you not understand this? And I was like, he was trying to teach me maths, I was like, I'm so sorry, I just don't get it. And that's why I can't measure anything and that's why everything in my flat is six times the size it's supposed to be. But you know what, I'm manifesting a bigger house for myself, even though I don't believe in manifesting.

• 5:19Speaker 04

  Well, I've got the perfect dining table for you if you were considering purchasing anything new.

• 5:25Speaker 03

  I'd love it.

• 5:26Speaker 04

  Absolutely, I'd give, I'd give you, no, I'll give you a 10% discount, I'm not losing the money on that.

• 5:29Speaker 03

  I'd lose it as, I'd use it as a little stool.

• 5:31Speaker 04

  You could just use it as a bedside table, it'd be perfect. You should get a second one. Will I get a second one for you?

• 5:37Speaker 03

  Get a second one.

• 5:38Speaker 04

  I don't think measuring is about maths, I think that there's two ways to measure it. So I, as you know, when I went to get a job in construction, my job was FFNE, I didn't have a clue what FFNE meant, but I convinced them, out of 2,000 people, I was the woman for the job, got the job. And when he sent me to measure where all, because I was basically in charge of fixtures, fittings and electrical.

• 5:59Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 6:00Speaker 04

  Measure where all the sinks and everything goes and then he, as, when I arrived back, that's the moment the penny dropped for him and he was like, she is shit, she doesn't even know how to measure anything.

• 6:10Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 6:11Speaker 04

  So I learnt that day how to measure and now I can measure, I just can't read, obviously.

• 6:15Speaker 03

  Well, I've, a friend of mine is an interior designer and they, I will say they, so as not to give away any identity, she, one of her first jobs, she really fucked up and miscalculated on like quite a large building.

• 6:30Speaker 04

  Oh.

• 6:31Speaker 03

  And when they started to build it, yeah, nothing made sense, it was high dramas.

• 6:36Speaker 04

  Imagine, they're like, we can't fit the toilet into the bathroom. She's like, uh-oh, whoopsie doodles. I heard a story of this, um, a photographer who was away shooting for a really big brand and, uh, and he went and shot the campaign and it was away and obviously models booked, all the clothes brought over, everything done, came back, memory card wiped.

• 7:00Speaker 03

  Oh.

• 7:01Speaker 04

  Nothing. Nothing. And the pictures were meant to go into this really, well, they were meant to go into Vogue, British Vogue. Imagine, can you imagine what the brand were like and?

• 7:13Speaker 03

  Oh my God. What did he do?

• 7:16Speaker 04

  They had to shoot the campaign again. My biggest fuck up in work, the only time I got fired was when I closed the summer shop at 10 to seven instead of seven and I got called. I was going across the road to have drinks and I closed up at 10 to seven and one of the customers ratted me out.

• 7:31Speaker 03

  And also that photograph thing, I'm sure I've told this story on the pod before because at this stage, four years in, there's gonna be some repeats and I apologize. But my mother and father's wedding photos, he never put the film in the camera.

• 7:43Speaker 04

  No.

• 7:44Speaker 03

  All day. Yeah, yeah.

• 7:45Speaker 04

  Oh, no.

• 7:47Speaker 03

  So all they had was like a couple of photos, like this was whenever, whenever my pack got married, 1833 probably. They only had their friends photos that they'd taken on the day. I know. Desperately sad, desperately sad.

• 8:00Speaker 04

  Do you know what happened to me and Spencer? And now she was a very lovely woman, but she had very, very big, big curly hair, like huge hair. And basically when we were getting married in Glenaffery, and we're getting married and every single picture is her hair. The pictures, there's none of just me and Spencer. Her hair is behind us, her hair, her hair followed us everywhere. I'll show you the wedding pictures.

• 8:28Speaker 03

  Hold on, was she the photographer?

• 8:30Speaker 04

  No, she was the celebrant. So like the photographer, and I'm like, why did the photographer not see that her hair was in every picture? And I was just like, like.

• 8:39Speaker 03

  And ask her to move. I've been asking me about her photos a billion times.

• 8:44Speaker 04

  I, you know, I never have because I'm, I avoid the front. Being of large descent, I know that I'm not like available to be at the front of anything. So I just always have stayed at the back, like even in church, like I was in church last week and I just felt really guilty. I was like ducking down. I was like, oh God, sorry, sorry.

• 9:01Speaker 03

  You're not, you're not that, you're not weirdly tall. You're just tall.

• 9:05Speaker 04

  Yeah, no, I know, but you don't want to be sitting behind me. No way. Like, whenever I'm at the theatre, I'm always like, straight away, I'll look at the person behind me and I'm just like, I'll just apologise. I'm like, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm a giant.

• 9:17Speaker 03

  You're crouching down. I would not like to be behind you.

• 9:20Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 9:20Speaker 03

  Or, but I like being beside you because I look petite. Because when I meet people out and about who listen to the podcast, the thing that they say most to me is, "Oh, you're actually very tall."

• 9:29Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 9:29Speaker 03

  And I'm like, "Oh no."

• 9:30Speaker 04

  Vogue makes me so...

• 9:31Speaker 03

  And then I always say, "It's because Vogue is so tall, yeah, that I look, I look like petite, which is lovely because I've never been petite. I'm never petite. I'm always just kind of large."

• 9:39Speaker 04

  Oh, well, I'm glad I make you, I'm glad I make you feel that way. You're welcome.

• 9:43Speaker 03

  Large and in charge. You're the only woman I know can make me feel like a lady, Vogue.

• 9:48Speaker 04

  My dad. I don't sound like one. No, that's not true. You don't sound like one. Tell me now. Joanne went away to our friend's birthday this weekend. I haven't been able to get in touch with anyone. I am digging deep, trying to get the gossip from the weekend. No one is responding because they're all in bits. Tell me everything.

• 10:09Speaker 03

  Well, since I've spoken to you last, I have been in Lisbon, Barcelona, Italy, Amsterdam, and now I'm in Oslo. When I say-

• 10:25Speaker 04

  And Berlin.

• 10:25Speaker 03

  And, and, and sorry, I was in Berlin. I'm Berlin. I was in Berlin yesterday. When I say, and like, obviously, it's a lovely, it's a lovely complaint to have, right? But it's been, there's, it's been flying, there's, there's not, because the tour is one thing, and then I had three days off in the middle. I went to Italy for a friend's birthday, and then I went to Berlin, and then to Oslo the next day. So I'm flying pretty much every day. And when I, and I know it's a boring complaint, when I say, "I am exhausted." I, we landed in Oslo about three hours ago, and I fell asleep in an abandoned wheelchair in arrivals.

• 10:57Speaker 04

  No.

• 10:58Speaker 03

  While the road and the tour manager were waiting for the bags. Fast asleep in a wheelchair. And before anyone asks, I didn't steal the wheelchair. I didn't, didn't remove, I didn't toss anyone out of one. It was just sitting there, not in use. And I sat down and I was fast asleep. I am so tired. So I hope you've lots of energy to bring to the podcast, I hope, because I will need five naps in the hour record. I am so fucking tired.

• 11:26Speaker 03

  I could honestly lie down on the ground and die.

• 11:28Speaker 04

  You are a serial knapper though. Like, I would never, I could be up for two days straight and I'd never, ever be able to fall asleep in a wheelchair like that.

• 11:36Speaker 03

  The road is-

• 11:36Speaker 04

  I've tried, actually.

• 11:37Speaker 03

  I said to Grod, "You're gonna have to bring a long taser on a stick to the show in Oslo tonight, and if I nap off during the show, just electrocute me back awake." I actually won't, because what I'll do is I'll hammer two sugar-free Red Bulls.

• 11:50Speaker 04

  I was gonna say a Red Bull.

• 11:51Speaker 03

  And then I'll be absolutely buzzing, and then I'll be awake till 4am and the whole thing rolls on again. Hooked on the stuff.

• 11:56Speaker 04

  You know, I just, there's no, there's certain things in life, I could be dead tomorrow, I'm not giving up fizzy drinks. Red Bull's a fizzy drink, who cares? You need it. Now, tell me about the party. No one is telling me.

• 12:07Speaker 03

  The party was in an area of Italy called Puglia, which I believe is in the heel of the boot.

• 12:13Speaker 04

  Puglia.

• 12:16Speaker 03

  Yes, okay. Some people can't pronounce it Puglia. I've gone with Puglia because that's how it reads to me.

• 12:23Speaker 04

  It doesn't look Puglia.

• 12:24Speaker 03

  And I was in, I believe I was in a town called Caravaggio in Puglia.

• 12:29Speaker 04

  That would be right.

• 12:30Speaker 03

  It's one of these stunning Italian towns. It's like all medieval, old, you know, castles, lovely piazza, all these kind of little laneways, and it's stunning. But it's also one of these towns that, you know, the shops open for five minutes a day, the siesta is long. Now-

• 12:50Speaker 04

  I respect that.

• 12:51Speaker 03

  I respect it too. However, it does feel, you're walking around and you're like, it was like a ghost town. It was all very 28 days later. And then at night time, then it completely comes alive.

• 13:01Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 13:02Speaker 03

  And the piazza's like covered. But anyway, it was our friend Martin Gollan's birthday, it was his 40th birthday. He's always had a reputation for putting on a spread. He's great at putting on a spread.

• 13:13Speaker 04

  Very good party.

• 13:14Speaker 03

  Very big, into hospitality and events. And he works in telly, he's very creative. We spoke about him before, and he- When I say this thing, it was like a wedding without any of the boring bits. Hmm. It was like 70 of our friends there. 67 to be exact. 67 people to be exact. He, and every year he has this party called The Wake where our friends perform and stuff. And obviously I have, I don't perform because, well, I kind of. You perform at life. Exactly. Bit of a bus man's holiday for me. If I was to do that, I'm happy to sit back and enjoy the performances of others. But Martin sang, you know Kylie, get out of my way, duh, duh, duh. You know that song? Yeah.

• 13:59Speaker 03

  And he had, I still can't get over it. I said, Martin, I'll never get over the mini treadmill. Oh, I saw that. It was a mini treadmill and every, and every time the chorus kicked in, he was, he would run on the treadmill and it was just, and he was dressed as a woman and in heels. I've never been, I couldn't run in heels the way he was. It was hilarious. All our friends, loads of them performed. They were dressed as mermaids. There was a lot of drag. There was a lot of like, it was a rap recreations. There, if, if I even smell an Aperol spritz, I think I'll vomit. We drank so many of them. It was a sensation, I would say. So when did you get there? This Saturday? And it was a Saturday and a Sunday? No, I, I left on Tuesday. It was life affirming, I would say. We were all madly in love with each other and it was just amazing. An amazing weekend.

• 14:43Speaker 03

  Oh God, it looks so good. I. I'd highly recommend Puglia between the hours of 8pm and 10pm. Outside of that. Is that not a bit? You'd want to have a lot of books or a pack of cards with you because there's nothing to do outside of that. There's a town next to it called, again, completely wrong. I'm going to call it Ontario. Okay, that's probably not right, but yeah. Not right at all. And that was absolutely beautiful. And Martin's bought a house there. Apparently Puglia are selling houses for quite cheap because they want to bring people into the town and they're doing it up. And I met a lovely man called Seamus there and his husband Alan. And Seamus is a big fan of the podcast. He came up to me on the first night and he's like, I'm a big fan of the podcast. So we hung out loads over the weekend and I'm sorry to tell you, Vogue, I told him all our secrets.

• 15:25Speaker 03

  So I don't know what, that's going to come back and bite us in the face. He put two shots of tequila into me and I tell you, I'd be a terrible informant and a terrible spy. You just have to be, to be oiled up and then you just tell everyone's secrets. That's fine, that's fine. But the end of it, I was like, I wonder, I maybe should have asked him to sign an NDO. So he knows, he knows everything about you and he knows everything about me.

• 15:50Speaker 05

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• 16:22Speaker 04

  Well, I looked at that party and I was actually meant to go to Martin's. My cousin was meant to get married in August and then they changed their wedding to the weekend of Martin's. So I had to go to my cousin's wedding, which was fantastic. But I looked at Martin's and that's when I, like, I feel like I've turned a corner. I looked at it and I said, "You know what? That looks like amazing crack, but I wouldn't be able for that." I know. I just know I wouldn't. I'm a one-hit wonder and that's just the way I am in life. I could have flown in and flown out for one day and had a great time. But any, I would have been like dead weight. Everyone would be like, "Oh, don't go near Vogue, she's really negative today." And I don't want to be the negative girl.

• 16:55Speaker 03

  It was a heavy weekend, I'm not gonna lie. It was a heavy weekend. I, so heavy in fact, that my lizard, cat, arse eyes have come back. Do you know the way my eyes sometimes, I get all these, you see it in there? And my eyes crack, like harden over and they kind of harden and they look like two cats assholes.

• 17:14Speaker 04

  Show me, show me.

• 17:16Speaker 03

  Well, I'm on antibiotics now, Dad, you can't really see.

• 17:18Speaker 04

  What, what is it?

• 17:20Speaker 03

  I don't know. Obviously, I was on to Katrina Ryan, who's the dermatologist that me and Vogue hang off for all information. And it's some dermatitis rosacea thing. She says it's stress. I was like, I think it's, I'm doing a lot of flying at the moment. I don't know what it is, but I tell you what, it's ugly as sin. I look like the Elephant Man.

• 17:39Speaker 04

  No, you do not. You barely notice it.

• 17:41Speaker 03

  I look like I've been attacked by bedbugs on the face. But anyway, look, it is what it is.

• 17:46Speaker 04

  Well, but you know what? You've looked worse.

• 17:48Speaker 03

  I can't be hot all the time.

• 17:50Speaker 04

  When you've had it before, you've looked worse.

• 17:53Speaker 03

  It's exhausting.

• 17:53Speaker 04

  It's very difficult. You were going, you had a real streak there for a while. It's, it's time someone kicked a bit of ugly into you.

• 18:02Speaker 03

  I can't be hot all the time. So it's, you know, it's humbling and we need that. We need a touch of humility at times and I've certainly been given it in my face. But there was no goss as such. It was just a really fun weekend. Like he organised a walking tour. There was a beach day.

• 18:18Speaker 04

  No, I didn't spot you in any of the socials at the beach day. I didn't see any socials of Joan at the beach day.

• 18:23Speaker 03

  I didn't make the beach.

• 18:26Speaker 04

  You're not very beachy. You're not very beachy.

• 18:29Speaker 03

  Like yourself. I'd had two heavy days and like, you know, your social, your social battery, I was happy to take a little bit of a breather. So me and Seamus went for lunch and I told him more secrets.

• 18:40Speaker 04

  Well, I'm glad I can't wait to see what Seamus sells to the Daily Mail. I shall wait with bait.

• 18:48Speaker 04

  With baited bread.

• 18:50Speaker 03

  It might even be, I might even be in the Daily Mail at this point, folk. I've told him so much information.

• 18:55Speaker 04

  Ooh, you went deep.

• 18:56Speaker 03

  Do you know what I mean? He might even crack the Daily Mail on my behalf. You never know. Basically what I'm saying is when I finish this Zoom, I'm going on the dark web. I'm going to have to have Seamus assassinated at this point. Sorry, Seamus. Say goodbye to your family because you're on the way out.

• 19:10Speaker 04

  Seamus, she enjoyed the lunch, but now it's time to say bye bye.

• 19:13Speaker 03

  Bye bye.

• 19:13Speaker 04

  You're gone.

• 19:14Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 19:15Speaker 04

  Well, I went to the south of France with all my aunts and my whole family. And we went to my cousin's wedding, which was so gorgeous. I actually.

• 19:24Speaker 03

  It looks stunning.

• 19:25Speaker 04

  I have bad news.

• 19:26Speaker 03

  Oh, God.

• 19:27Speaker 04

  I, yeah, Sven and I are gonna, when we're 10 years married, in three years' time, we are going to do like a wedding. I know that we got married, but when we got married in Scotland, as you know, that wasn't meant to be our wedding. There was like 20 people there. And then we did the TV wedding, which wasn't a real wedding because it just wasn't a real wedding. It was for TV. We actually want to do a wedding in three years' time when we're married for 10 years. No one will bloody believe us. 10 years. Imagine I'd be married to somebody for 10 years.

• 19:54Speaker 03

  That's a record.

• 19:55Speaker 04

  10 years.

• 19:56Speaker 03

  A record.

• 19:57Speaker 04

  Yeah. I saw somebody the other day and he was like, oh, I've been married 42 years. Obviously he was an older gentleman. And I just thought, fucking hell. Forty two years.

• 20:06Speaker 03

  Too long, isn't it?

• 20:07Speaker 04

  I mean, that's like.

• 20:08Speaker 03

  But that's why people, people are very proud of it because when you talk to people like at shows, I'd often ask people how long they're married and stuff. And when, when they give a, a large number, people clap and applaud because people know.

• 20:19Speaker 04

  It's impressive.

• 20:20Speaker 03

  How impressive it is because it's, well, I, well, I can only imagine it's very hard work.

• 20:27Speaker 04

  I mean, because it's, it's like, when you think about anything, when you spend so much time with one person and like, you're trying to build a life together, you're going through the stresses of life together. And then if you choose to have kids and kids can add another element of kind of stress to that. And then you're trying to make sure that you're nurturing your own relationship as well as looking after the kids and having them be number one.

• 20:47Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 20:48Speaker 04

  So there's a lot of factors to it. Svenny and I were seven years married on the eighth of June is our wedding date. So we've been married for, for seven years. And then, so we flew home.

• 20:58Speaker 03

  Congratulations.

• 20:59Speaker 04

  I know, it was nice, but we've gotten to the stage now that like, I was like, God, we actually didn't do anything. His mom, his mom offered up a roast on the day that we were flying home. And I said, it's not often that Jane does a roast for us, so I'll sacrifice a wedding anniversary dinner for a roast and I don't regret it at all.

• 21:15Speaker 03

  Seven years, I mean, come on, 10. Do you know what the present is for seven years?

• 21:20Speaker 04

  Oh, um, oh God, I'm such a bitch. Copper. So I was trying to get Svenny, um, these gorgeous copper pots that I saw. Cause I really want them. I was like, you get me the frying pans.

• 21:31Speaker 03

  Who the hell wants copper?

• 21:33Speaker 04

  Have you seen copper pots? I was like, you get the frying pans for me and I'll get you the pots and then we'll have a whole set of copper pots and frying pans. I thought that was a lovely gift.

• 21:44Speaker 03

  Did he do it?

• 21:45Speaker 04

  No, we haven't done it yet. We, we actually did absolutely nothing. We just went home.

• 21:48Speaker 03

  I have to say, hats off to you.

• 21:55Speaker 03

  Hats off.

• 21:56Speaker 04

  I know, I know.

• 21:57Speaker 03

  Because it was, speaking of hats, sorry.

• 22:01Speaker 03

  I was in Berlin and I was, you know, I always like to buy a hat from wherever I'm, where I go. So like I'll buy like a baseball cap from Cape Town or whatever.

• 22:09Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 22:10Speaker 03

  And the only hat I could find, there was the Kremlin, you know, those big like furry Russian hats?

• 22:15Speaker 04

  Oh, I love them.

• 22:17Speaker 03

  They're lovely, aren't they?

• 22:18Speaker 04

  So you got one of them in Berlin?

• 22:19Speaker 03

  Because I thought Oslo would be really cold. No, I didn't in the end. I was like, Joanna, it might be a bit much now. Come on. You know what I mean? I don't think you can pull off a Kremlin hat.

• 22:26Speaker 04

  You thought Oslo would be cold?

• 22:27Speaker 03

  Yeah, bloody roasters.

• 22:30Speaker 04

  They get really nice summers.

• 22:31Speaker 03

  It's stunning here and they're all hot and tall and blonde. It's, it's exactly what I imagined it would be. But hats off to you because the longest relationship I've done was, I would say, maybe collectively it was three years, but it was to say it was on and off. I think we were probably together for about three weeks in those three years. Even I found that very hard. I remember when I first moved in with them, I had to sleep upstairs in the spare room because I didn't even know how to share a bed. I was like, I couldn't even share a bed with them. I didn't know how to sleep with them.

• 22:57Speaker 04

  I think, you know, I think it's quite hard to first of all, share a bed with somebody because there's loads of miles. Like, that's why, that's why I think I just didn't get into, into one night stands because I don't want, I wouldn't. I'd feel really like, I used to feel really uncomfortable when I'd start dating somebody like, I remember I was going out with my first boyfriend, who was, I was with him for six years, over six years. And I remember he was like, do you want something to eat? And I was fucking starving and I was like, no, thanks. Cause I was too embarrassed to eat in front of him. I'm really shy in really weird ways. So like having to like sleep beside somebody makes me feel really embarrassed. So I would like never want to do a one night stand in case I had to stay there and then I'd be too embarrassed to leave. It's like, I get embarrassed about weird things. That would be one of them.

• 23:42Speaker 03

  Well, I was embroiled in a situationship not that long ago and he would come to mine and leave straight after the act.

• 23:53Speaker 04

  Oh no.

• 23:54Speaker 03

  Like literally.

• 23:56Speaker 04

  Hit the door.

• 23:57Speaker 03

  He'd come and go in the space of 30 seconds.

• 23:59Speaker 04

  No.

• 24:00Speaker 03

  Yeah, he never stayed. Never once did he stay. Never once did he stay. Now, there was other problems in that, as you know yourself and Seamus knows because obviously I've told him fucking everything. But.

• 24:14Speaker 04

  He was, he was a bit-

• 24:15Speaker 03

  Yeah, he leaves straight away.

• 24:17Speaker 04

  He wasn't a great, he wasn't a great soul.

• 24:18Speaker 03

  He, yeah, no, he wasn't great, no, no.

• 24:21Speaker 04

  We'll put him back in the sea, you have to put him back in the sea. And even this, even the sea didn't want him when she tried to tuck him in.

• 24:27Speaker 03

  Oh, he, he never came out of the sea. That man was never on land. He was in the sea the whole time. Some men never get out of the sea, they never go to land, yeah. They're always dancing with several fishes.

• 24:41Speaker 04

  There's a lot, a big, a show of fish going on and that's, that's all he was at.

• 24:45Speaker 03

  A hot sexy show.

• 24:46Speaker 04

  How rude though, now I wouldn't like that. I wouldn't want him to stay, but I also wouldn't want him to just leave straight away.

• 24:52Speaker 03

  It was very strange, but it's so weird what you get used to and then you just accept it. And also because I knew that he was never out of the sea and he was never really on land with me. And what I mean by that is we were never like exclusive. I didn't, there was no, that, it's very intimate sharing a bed with somebody, do you know what I mean?

• 25:09Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 25:09Speaker 03

  Like unless you've shared it for ages and then you're kind of facing out the other direction from each other and if they even touch you in the middle of the night, you're screaming at them to fuck off. But at the start, it's all very intimate and spoony and like, I remember one guy, we used to like fall asleep kissing and stuff, do you know what I mean?

• 25:21Speaker 04

  What?

• 25:21Speaker 03

  Breathing into each other's mouths.

• 25:23Speaker 04

  I couldn't, no, I'd hate that, someone's stealing my breath.

• 25:27Speaker 03

  That's because you're seven years in.

• 25:28Speaker 04

  No, that's not from being seven years in, that's just lo-, I can't, I hate smelling people's breath.

• 25:35Speaker 03

  Oh, well, that's, that comes from my like unhealthy obsession with men. When I'm, when I'm into them, I'm, I'm wanting to like crawl into their back and like live my life out through their eyes, you know, all that shit.

• 25:44Speaker 04

  God.

• 25:45Speaker 03

  So I didn't mind that the, the last, but what would we call him? He needs a nickname.

• 25:51Speaker 04

  As you're away on the continent, we could call him Sheisen.

• 25:54Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah.

• 25:55Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 25:55Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 25:56Speaker 04

  There you go.

• 25:56Speaker 03

  What about, what about greedy guts? Call him greedy guts.

• 25:59Speaker 04

  What about fucking arsehole?

• 26:01Speaker 03

  What about [BLEEP]?

• 26:08Speaker 04

  I wanted to say to you though-

• 26:09Speaker 03

  Greedy, greedy man. Greedy. Some men, there's nev- there's not enough vagina in the world for some men.

• 26:17Speaker 04

  He will never, ever get married.

• 26:20Speaker 03

  Not at all. Neither will I.

• 26:23Speaker 04

  No, you might get married.

• 26:24Speaker 03

  I don't think so.

• 26:25Speaker 04

  Did you read that story-

• 26:26Speaker 03

  I really don't think it's for me.

• 26:27Speaker 04

  Did you read that story about there was a Saudi groom who got married and he basically divorced his wife one hour after their wedding?

• 26:36Speaker 03

  What?

• 26:36Speaker 04

  Yeah, because his mom decided that she wasn't happy that they were married and demanded the divorce and then he said, okay, and they got divorced. Imagine you got married and an hour later, you're getting divorced.

• 26:49Speaker 03

  Sorry now, that's outrageous.

• 26:51Speaker 04

  I was looking up other, because I saw that story and I was like, that is insane. So I looked up other ones, but I also saw this really weird story. Now, this is, I don't know if any of this is true, but have you seen, there's a pastor, right, called John Paul Miller? And he married this girl called Susie Skinner, like last week. Basically-

• 27:11Speaker 03

  He married? He mar- he got married to her or he married her?

• 27:14Speaker 04

  No, he got married to her and-

• 27:17Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 27:18Speaker 04

  They both cheated on their previous partners with each other and both of their previous partners died in suspicious circumstances. So his wife was found dead from a self-inflicted gunshot wound, just days after they got divorced. And Susie's husband drowned when his wheelchair rolled into a neighbourhood pool. So everyone thinks that they killed their exes to get together and they got married last week.

• 27:45Speaker 03

  That doesn't surprise me. I mean, I know we obviously have to say allegedly and all that shit, but like, it's so strange now. Because I watch a lot of true crime-

• 27:54Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 27:55Speaker 03

  Because it makes me feel safe, which is dark and sinister, but they are the facts. I'm always fascinated how you can go from being madly in love with someone to wanting them dead, like.

• 28:08Speaker 04

  I know.

• 28:09Speaker 03

  Dead.

• 28:09Speaker 04

  But you remember that?

• 28:10Speaker 03

  It's all money.

• 28:11Speaker 04

  It can be money, it could be because they want to be with somebody else. Like, did you ever watch The Staircase? Remember The Staircase?

• 28:17Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 28:18Speaker 04

  And like, you put all of it, like, even look at OJ Simpson and everything like that, it's just mad, like, people just lose their shit.

• 28:25Speaker 03

  The Staircase, which was an amazing, it was, it was an amazing documentary, and then it was, it was turned into like a TV series.

• 28:32Speaker 04

  With Tony Collette.

• 28:33Speaker 03

  Tony Collette, and it was brilliant. But I watched that and I really don't think he did kill her. I think he seemed, well, he's, if he did kill her, he deserves an Oscar because when he was interviewed, he seemed very convincing to me. And they were saying they couldn't figure out why there was so much blood spatter. And then, do you remember there was a theory that it was an owl or something had flown in and.

• 28:55Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 28:56Speaker 03

  Killed her. But it's a really, really good documentary. Do you know, Amanda Knox has a book coming out.

• 29:01Speaker 04

  Okay, I thought she already did a book. This is another book. That was all, now, that was all very strange, like, I.

• 29:09Speaker 03

  I don't think she did it for a second. Not a second do I think she did it. No, no, she had no motive to do it at all. She just didn't behave the way people wanted her to behave in the aftermath of it because she was doing cartwheels down the police station and stuff. But there was nothing, and I think there was a lot, she did end up saying something kind of controversial to the guy who was also accused of doing it. It was the barman, not her boyfriend. Something like, see you later, but it was, she said she just didn't understand what she was saying in the language. There's no way in hell she did it. I believe Amanda Knox is completely innocent. And it shocks me when people think she's not.

• 29:44Speaker 04

  I don't know if she is or isn't. I think that there is, there's, there was loads of weird stuff around her. It's so long ago, I actually can't remember, but I remember, but that poor girl.

• 29:52Speaker 03

  Amanda as well. I think Amanda Knox is a poor girl. She went to prison for a crime she did not commit. It ruined her life.

• 29:57Speaker 04

  Yeah, but you don't, she might have committed. Meredith Kircher, Meredith Kircher.

• 30:01Speaker 03

  Meredith Kircher. I know, it was awful, but I believe it was the bar, the guy who owned the bar. I don't, I remember watching it at the time, Netflix did a series about it, and I was like, and I was going out with someone at the time, and he was convinced she did it. And I was boggled that he thought that.

• 30:15Speaker 04

  I do think that she did it. But like, that's what it is, they've got a legal system and they figure it out, but like, it's funny that you think that she definitely didn't, and I kind of think that she did.

• 30:23Speaker 03

  Didn't. She's too sincere and she was just, she was just a bit of a fool. She was just a bit of a, like, she just didn't have the emotional maturity to behave appropriately. And I, I don't think her and Meredith were particularly close. So I, I, but yeah, I mean, it was, it was an inappropriate way to behave. Like if my housemate was murdered, I'd, you know, I wouldn't be doing cartwheels because I can't do cartwheels anyway. But that aside, I wouldn't be acting so nonchalant about it. But yeah, but she has a book out at the moment as well, which obviously I will read with my ears.

• 30:58Speaker 05

  Observe: The North American Dad. 50s, great polo collection. He enters his vehicle information on Carvana. An offer appears in minutes. Remarkable. He squints, reads it again, smiles and says, dang, that's a good offer. The highest form of approval. No haggling, no hassle, no one called him boss. He's still on the couch. Astonishing. Sell your car today on carvana.com. Pickup fees may apply.

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• 32:29Speaker 04

  So the other wedding bits, right, obviously Svenny and I are married seven years. You've heard of the seven year itch. Yes. Yeah, so the average amount of time before divorce in married couples is eight years. That's why it's the seven year itch. I don't think it's, I think that you can go through points in a relationship all the time though, that it feels like that. But there was another couple, right? They, this man divorced his wife on the night of their wedding after he made her promise not to prank him anymore once they got married. The wife agreed, but then slammed his face into the cake as they were cutting it and then he wanted to divorce her.

• 32:56Speaker 03

  Do you know what's so interesting? How, I don't know, God knows where my algorithm takes me, even though I always kind of, we always, I love the way we'd never take responsibility for our algorithm, even though our algorithm is completely built around stuff that we watch.

• 33:09Speaker 04

  I know what you're gonna say.

• 33:10Speaker 03

  But there's been a string, is it the string of men shoving their wives' faces into the cake?

• 33:15Speaker 04

  Yeah, and like literally rubbing it in their hair and stuff.

• 33:18Speaker 03

  It looks proper aggro. Like, if I was at that wedding, I'd be like, are you okay, hon? This is, this is not, this is not okay. Because, like, obviously she's done up to the nine. She's spent a fucking fortune getting her hair and makeup done. And the way they slam them in, it's, it's.

• 33:36Speaker 04

  It's so mean.

• 33:38Speaker 03

  It looks, it looks, it's uncomfortable to watch. It's uncomfortable to watch. I don't get it.

• 33:44Speaker 04

  No, it's really weird.

• 33:46Speaker 03

  I'd hate to see all he's doing behind closed doors if that's what he's doing in full view of friends, family, videographers and photographers. Do you know what I mean?

• 33:52Speaker 04

  Well, this fellow divorced his wife because she did that and fair enough, I wouldn't like that either. What do you get people if you're going to their wedding? Like, what wedding presents do you get them? Because this is another big topic that I was looking up online, because I was looking for anniversary presents before I came across the pots.

• 34:06Speaker 03

  Well, it would be money, really. I don't think I've ever given, my brother and his wife, I gave them art, but I don't think I've ever given anyone, like, a present. So I've never given anyone a tea set or, like, water for crystal glasses or a toaster or anything. It's always cash, isn't it? Because you're kind of paying for your dinner, really.

• 34:24Speaker 04

  Yeah, unless they, unless they have a little, like, list that they, so I've been to two weddings in the last while. One, there was a list that you could get something for them off the list, which I did, because I just think that that's easier. And then the second one was kind of like donate towards our honeymoon. And I was like, that's actually a good idea, because it makes it easier for people. But I remember I got a gift, oh my God, it was just. I got a gift for my wedding and it was not for mine and Spence wedding, another wedding that I did. And it was that my friends had gotten me this hand painted like picture of the two of us together and like I looked similar to that awful picture that you kept of me as a joke. Like I looked so bad and they'd spent all this money on something like that.

• 35:07Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah.

• 35:08Speaker 04

  And I was like, you shouldn't just, you shouldn't presume somebody would want something like that, especially when it's gonna turn out like that. I looked like my jaw was literally hanging off my face. It was so bad.

• 35:16Speaker 03

  Yeah, I have a particularly interesting sketch of Vogue Williams that was handed to me by a gentleman at a stage door one evening after we were doing our ghosted show.

• 35:28Speaker 04

  I've never seen you so happy.

• 35:29Speaker 03

  And it's like a caricature, I guess.

• 35:33Speaker 04

  I don't think it was meant to be a caricature.

• 35:35Speaker 03

  Yeah, I'm not sure what the motivation was, to be honest.

• 35:38Speaker 04

  It's to hurt my feelings, I think.

• 35:41Speaker 03

  And it was pride to place in my kitchen.

• 35:43Speaker 04

  It was awful.

• 35:45Speaker 03

  And he said to me, he was like, I didn't have time to do you. And I was like, that's okay.

• 35:49Speaker 04

  That's okay. I don't think you should, don't put any more of your time into this. This is perfect. I got another present though. I once got a Hoover that I still have. Hoover's a good gift for anyone.

• 35:59Speaker 03

  Do you know what's also a good gift, I think, flying vouchers, airplane vouchers, so they can travel.

• 36:04Speaker 04

  Flying vouchers is a good one as well.

• 36:06Speaker 03

  Someone was, do you know what's so, it's so interesting that you ask now, because someone was giving out to me recently because they were saying that they were given Monarch vouchers for their wedding.

• 36:15Speaker 04

  Oh, the spa Monarch.

• 36:16Speaker 03

  Yeah, but they were, they were, they were given maybe like a hundred euro or something. And they were saying the amount of money it costs to go to Monarch.

• 36:25Speaker 04

  Yeah, it's just.

• 36:26Speaker 03

  They're like, sure, it's, you wouldn't even hit the sides.

• 36:29Speaker 04

  Somebody, somebody said that to me as well, because it was for a hotel, but it was like, it's like a little contribution towards that hotel, but it's like, then you have to go to the hotel and it's actually gonna cost you money to have to do that.

• 36:40Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 36:41Speaker 04

  That never makes sense. I actually looked it up and loads of people were saying that they've been re-gifted stuff from people from other weddings and they knew because the person had left the card in the box and just left, the whole thing was wrapped still from their wedding. They didn't even open it, they just put their own card on top, not realising that there was a card in the box. So they knew that somebody had just re-gifted it on.

• 37:01Speaker 03

  Oh, no.

• 37:02Speaker 04

  I know.

• 37:03Speaker 03

  Listen, regifting is a skill, you know, like it's, it helps the world go around and it's environmentally friendly. Speaking of that, did you hear France have?

• 37:11Speaker 04

  Don't get caught.

• 37:12Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, be smarter about it.

• 37:14Speaker 04

  What happened with France?

• 37:16Speaker 03

  Hide your movements more. Did you see France have after putting huge tariffs on fast fashion?

• 37:20Speaker 04

  Did they?

• 37:21Speaker 03

  Yeah, no, I don't know if it's gonna make any difference to be honest, but yeah.

• 37:25Speaker 04

  I'll be honest with you, I was quite surprised. I've asked a couple of people over the last while whether they got something and they said Shein. And I can't believe you'd be so brazen as to say that you got something from Shein because that is so bad.

• 37:38Speaker 03

  Do you know what? And I have a confession to make, right? Because I would have been, I'm, I am, I'm very against all that stuff. But then again, someone made the very valid point. They're like, you know, it's different. Like I can, I have a job. I have a well-paid job. I can afford to buy stuff from more expensive websites. But some people are like, well, we can't. So like, why can't we enjoy fashion? Do you know what I mean? In the same way.

• 38:02Speaker 04

  I know.

• 38:02Speaker 03

  The problem is, the place, it's places, it's clogging up the world and apparently the fashion industry is the.

• 38:08Speaker 04

  Problem.

• 38:09Speaker 03

  It's, yeah, it's massively problematic. Like I think it's kind of the main problem.

• 38:13Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 38:13Speaker 03

  Really, because you can never get rid of them.

• 38:15Speaker 04

  But I, I just say.

• 38:16Speaker 03

  They, they, they end up, they end up in these piles in Africa because we sell them to Africa and then they don't. They, they only use bits and bobs them and there's fucking live children living beside these huge mounds of clothes. And yeah, it's a real problem. Let me get the French thing up. French Senate backs law to regulate ultra-fast fashion giants Shein and Timu. The new legislation would impose eco taxes, their advertising bans and influencer restrictions. But critics believe the bill falls short of its initial environmental ambitions. Still, it feels like a good start.

• 38:51Speaker 04

  And you know, vapes are gone from, from the UK. There's another sustainable start. No disposable vapes.

• 38:56Speaker 03

  Disposable vapes.

• 38:57Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 38:58Speaker 03

  Yeah. Good.

• 38:59Speaker 04

  They're literally everywhere.

• 39:01Speaker 03

  Stain on humanity.

• 39:02Speaker 04

  So I'm so shocked you haven't asked me about my fantastic, the best Monday of all the Mondays that anyone's ever had on a Monday.

• 39:09Speaker 03

  Better than your seven year anniversary.

• 39:11Speaker 04

  Sorry, it's just like, I can't, like, do you want, it was, it's the best thing that's ever happened to me in my life, I think. I went.

• 39:18Speaker 03

  Go on.

• 39:20Speaker 04

  I now, much like yourself, I was knackered on Monday and I was like, oh God. I'd organised tickets to Pitbull. So at one point in the day, I was like, I just don't think I'll go. And then I knew that if I missed the Hotel Motel Holiday Inn, I'd be really upset. And so I took myself to the O2 and to say it was the best concert, like, we at the hotel motel holiday inn.

• 39:46Speaker 03

  Oh my God, you're not serious.

• 39:50Speaker 04

  That's one of his songs.

• 39:51Speaker 03

  He has a hotel, he has a song with the Holiday Inn.

• 39:53Speaker 04

  The Hotel Motel Holiday Inn. Is that my favourite song? Yes, that's my favourite song of his. But you forget how many bangers he has. So anyway, I'm on the tube, making my way there.

• 40:01Speaker 03

  You don't.

• 40:02Speaker 04

  Joanne, you're the only person that doesn't think, he's selling out arenas all over Ireland and the UK and America. Like he is massive.

• 40:11Speaker 03

  And you know what? I can't deny the man is talented. Just because he's not for me. I remember going to a comedian, he was, I'm not going to say who he is, but he was doing like, he was doing like multiple Wembleys. And I was, I was sitting up near the front and the rooms were so big, there was a laughter, there was a delay in the laughter. And I posted a story that I was there and I'd have made him, I'd text me, get back, reply to the story. He's like, he's not even funny. And I was like, you can't deny he's funny. Like this place is rammed, do you know what I mean? So I can't deny Pitbull's talent. I apologise Pitbull. It's just not for me.

• 40:43Speaker 04

  Well, I actually heard, I'm not, I'm not talking to Pitbull because I heard of somebody who I had on my podcast, Never Live a Day. And she told me that she was offered VIP tickets to go and meet him. Like that's now one of my life's goals. I have to meet Pitbull. Anyway, I'll tell you what happened. We got on the tube and I was disappointed in myself immediately because I was at a job. I didn't have time to change. Everybody is in a shirt, blazer and bald cap. The tube is just full of people.

• 41:13Speaker 03

  No.

• 41:14Speaker 04

  Everyone. And then I got there and everyone is also in bald caps and he like, no.

• 41:19Speaker 03

  Oh my God, I should have gone. I don't need a bald cap for the front part of my hair.

• 41:25Speaker 03

  I could have just started the bull cap halfway back through the back of my head and just had my front forehead exposed, my 12 head, as it's growing and growing and growing.

• 41:34Speaker 04

  It is not.

• 41:34Speaker 03

  Had you told me that, I would have gone.

• 41:36Speaker 04

  I reckon he would have loved it because it was like, because he's from Miami and he's, so he had like, he had Shaggy, who was his support act, and Shaggy, I mean, how he came out of the Me Too movement on skates, I'll never know. He only wants women at the show, he like addressed the men once, the only time he addressed the men was to say, all the men in the audience, go to the back. But all he kept saying was like, oh my ladies, how's all the ladies, any of my ladies at the front, who the ladies want to come and party with me, are the ladies drunk? I'm like, oh god, this is just so odd.

• 42:18Speaker 03

  Is Shaggy the shower guy?

• 42:19Speaker 04

  It was a me. Da da da da da da da.

• 42:21Speaker 03

  Yes, yes he was. Oh god, do you remember that song? It was everywhere.

• 42:26Speaker 04

  And what was his, Mr. Bumbus?

• 42:28Speaker 03

  Baby fantastic.

• 42:29Speaker 04

  Oh. So he came on and then they had this DJ, but you know like from a Miami nightclub where you see them where they've started like two in the morning and the place was going insane and then Pitbull came on and there was a couple of times with his little dancing and his hips, I thought, I think I fancy Pitbull. I'm worried I fancy Pitbull.

• 42:48Speaker 03

  I'm also a bit embarrassed because you know the way if like we have a show on a Monday or if you have a show or if I have a show and ticket sales are low, we're like, well it's Monday, you know what I mean? No one goes out on a Monday. It's not us, it's just, it's Monday's problem. And now Pitbull is like selling out an arena on a Monday.

• 43:04Speaker 04

  John, it was sunny. No, it was sunny, it was sunny.

• 43:08Speaker 03

  Oh, fine, yeah, that's what it is.

• 43:10Speaker 04

  It was a sunny Monday.

• 43:11Speaker 03

  Is it open top, the arena?

• 43:12Speaker 04

  No, it's not, but it was sunny.

• 43:16Speaker 03

  But there's a roof on the arena.

• 43:18Speaker 04

  Yeah, but it doesn't matter.

• 43:19Speaker 03

  That's not, that's, doesn't matter.

• 43:21Speaker 04

  No.

• 43:21Speaker 03

  No, because that's the excuse that we say when comedy doesn't sell, we're like, well, comedy never sells during the summer because everyone's at festivals and it's sunny. So no, no one wants to be inside. Okay, fine, yeah, I'm still a huge success. Okay, fine, thank you.

• 43:35Speaker 04

  But he was absolutely brilliant.

• 43:36Speaker 03

  Everyone else's problem.

• 43:39Speaker 05

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• 44:10Speaker 00

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• 45:11Speaker 04

  I've decided I'm going to work gigs. You know, when you go to the theater or something like that, or you go to a comedy gig or anything like that, you're like, "I'm gonna do this. I love doing this." But it's about freeing yourself to do it, but I had the best time.

• 45:21Speaker 03

  Yeah. That was like when I did my first 5K marathon in Akle. And I was like, "This is just who I am now, you know? I just run like Forrest Gump."

• 45:30Speaker 04

  You're first.

• 45:31Speaker 03

  Never ran a mother marathon again.

• 45:33Speaker 04

  You ran a marathon?

• 45:34Speaker 03

  Half.

• 45:35Speaker 04

  You ran a half marathon?

• 45:36Speaker 03

  I don't know why I said 5K, because it's actually more than 5K. Yeah.

• 45:40Speaker 04

  It's like 20K or something, isn't it?

• 45:41Speaker 03

  It's, I think it was 10K. It was down in Akle. It was gorgeous. Remember I told you, me and my friend Anya trained together, and then the second the gun blew, she ran off.

• 45:54Speaker 04

  Yeah. I'd be, I'd kind of be like that as well. I was like, oh yeah, she was gone. Do you know what? There's a half marathon they do in Disneyland in Paris. And sometimes they invite people. We should try and get, we should start mentioning half marathons more. I'd love, I'm actually doing a half marathon in Disneyland.

• 46:07Speaker 03

  Do we have to do it ourselves? Or we just sit in the rollercoaster? Do they, do they drive you around? Or do you have to like?

• 46:11Speaker 04

  You can walk it, you can walk it.

• 46:13Speaker 03

  Around Disneyland?

• 46:14Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 46:15Speaker 03

  I don't know, that's too embarrassing. I don't want to be outrun by kids.

• 46:17Speaker 04

  Well, you probably would be, and so would I.

• 46:19Speaker 03

  My favourite news story of the week.

• 46:21Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 46:21Speaker 03

  A friend.

• 46:25Speaker 03

  I am, like I say, I'm a bit, I'm a bit fried, so I can't, I was trying to figure out if it's an old story, a new story, but a girl.

• 46:35Speaker 03

  I just love the energy of it. She was trying to leave the pub and her friend didn't want her to, so she grabbed her house key off her and swallowed it.

• 46:44Speaker 04

  You couldn't even be annoyed about that. How did she get a house key down?

• 46:48Speaker 03

  She had to, she had, she, I, this is what I, I was like, hold on a second.

• 46:54Speaker 04

  She was really desperate.

• 46:55Speaker 03

  Were there key rings on it? Was there, was there, was there a garage fob? Like, what was on it? Did she have like a gold initial, the way some people have? It was just an individual key, because they have an X-ray on it in the story. Because she had to go to A and E then, and she passed it five days later and offered it back to her friend. Her friend was like, you're a grant. But her, the girl, the girl whose key it was, her mother wasn't home or anything, she couldn't even get in to the house. She had to stay in a friend's house and all, like, it was, it really made me laugh. Because you know that panic, like, I can't stand, because I'm, I never leave anywhere. I never leave house parties or anything. Although, I was saying that to Groude earlier, I was like, I never leave anywhere. And he goes, you always leave early when we're doing stuff together. I was like, yeah, because you're niching and doing crafts, do you know what I mean? But I mean, if there's anything decent happening, I'll stay.

• 47:41Speaker 03

  But, but I hate when people, when people try to leave, I get like, I'm really paranoid about them giving, I'm always accusing people of giving, leaving energy. I think it's the adoption in me or something. I'm like, are you gonna go? I feel like you're gonna go, are you gonna go?

• 47:52Speaker 04

  I think you have to warn people.

• 47:53Speaker 03

  Twenty more minutes, twenty more minutes.

• 47:54Speaker 04

  Yeah, you've got to warn people.

• 47:55Speaker 03

  Twenty more minutes. And they're like, okay, they're like, okay, twenty more minutes, twenty more minutes.

• 47:59Speaker 04

  You always get a couple of errors. If someone says twenty minutes, you'll always get a couple of errors out of them, no problem. Don't need to be swallowing keys.

• 48:06Speaker 03

  Yeah, you know, when they say 20 minutes, it's gonna be two hours. I just thought it was a great idea. I was like, why not? I'll swallow a remote if someone's trying to change the channel from now on. I just thought it was a fun thing to do, just that's like your party trick.

• 48:16Speaker 04

  I reckon I could, I could swallow a chub. You know those chub keys, like the regular key that you get like that size? I think I could swallow one of them if I really had to. And I don't think you need to be going to the, to the A and E for that. She should have just stayed out in five days. That's not a great digestive system. Maybe it's harder to digest a key.

• 48:34Speaker 03

  Yeah, I'd say the key.

• 48:37Speaker 04

  I've never, eat a key there, Joanne, and we'll see how long it takes.

• 48:41Speaker 03

  You know, the big set, the big set of, the big set of dice you have in a key ring and everything passing through. Yeah. I remember the dog once swallowed, what did she swallow? I would think it was a tea towel. We were trying to drag it out of her for ages. It was awful. We had to bring her back to the, I know.

• 48:56Speaker 04

  A tea towel?

• 48:58Speaker 03

  Oh my God, are we gonna talk about Chris, Chris Hughes and Jojo Siwa? It's a bit late. I know, I, I just, I, do you know what? I, Jojo Siwa, Chris Hughes, if you don't, if you haven't, like, unless you've been living under a rock, a soundproof rock, this story's going everywhere. Jojo Siwa, she was in Dancing Babies. No, The Dancing Baby Show from years ago.

• 49:22Speaker 04

  Oh yeah, Dance Moms.

• 49:23Speaker 03

  Dance Moms. And then she did Celebrity Big Brother and she was a bit, she kind of came back and kind of claimed she invented lesbian pop and she was getting a lot of, getting a lot of trolling and, but I think she kind of rage baits, I think she's intentionally kind of irritating at times. Anyway, now she's going out with Olivia Atwood's ex, Chris Hughes. But, fine. And then there was all the drama around Jojo Siwa being on Celebrity Big Brother because her partner was watching the whole thing and then Jojo broke up with her partner and started going out with Chris. But Chris Hughes posted a photo of them in bed together. Did you see it?

• 49:58Speaker 04

  Yeah, but can I also say about Jojo, and, and Mickey Rourke was quite creepy on the show, but she's like, she's going on the show and she's talking about how like she's in full, she's like, oh no. I think he actually asked her, would you ever not be gay? And she's like, no, I'm totally straight. And then Chris Hughes.

• 50:14Speaker 03

  Sorry, yeah, she was a lesbian.

• 50:15Speaker 04

  Yeah, she's, we forgot.

• 50:17Speaker 03

  She's bi, I guess.

• 50:18Speaker 04

  Yeah, I'd say she's bi.

• 50:19Speaker 03

  She's bi. The photo that Chris Hughes put out of Jojo Siwa on his chest, she's 22, he's 32, isn't he? She looks like a newborn baby and he's kissing her head. They're both naked, you can tell. And honestly, like. I don't, I, I, like, each to their own and all that jazz, she says, and she's just about to slag them off, but the photo was fucking weird. It was weird looking. It looks weird. It made me feel uncomfortable in my stomach. It just looks weird. It's too intimate. It's too weird. We don't need to see that. It was weird.

• 50:55Speaker 04

  I just think, my thing about it is, right, fair enough, whatever was happening in her relationship, but she came into the house and she was going on about how much she loved her bird and how in love they were and all this kind of stuff. And I just think, do you know what, guys? Just be like, more chill about it, because like, imagine being the ex and you're just like, what the fuck just happened? I just got dumped and she's gone for him now. Now they're posting everywhere and like, all this within a month, but she is 22. She's 22, so you kind of put it down to that.

• 51:24Speaker 03

  She's 22. Yeah, she's 22, whatever, you know, and she's fallen madly in love with someone new and it happens and people move on. But I agree, there's, like, the poor ex. Like, there's really no, it feels a little disrespectful, but.

• 51:40Speaker 04

  I just put it down to age.

• 51:41Speaker 03

  Like, like we said, she's 22. And when Chris Hughes posted the photo of Jojo Siwa asleep like a newborn baby on, it's like when they do skin to skin when women give birth. I was like, that's what it looked like. She's, she's 22 and she looks 40.

• 51:56Speaker 04

  Yeah, she does look, it's, I don't know, it's, it's such a weird, it, like, it doesn't, that pairing to me doesn't make sense. And I'm interested to see what, how, what goes forward and what happens.

• 52:05Speaker 03

  Um, I, yeah, I find it, when, that photo made me think, mm, it's a bit peoria, it's a bit, it's a bit stuntier or something, I don't know.

• 52:17Speaker 04

  When you get, when you get back, I think that you should hop into bed at me and we'll get a picture of you on my chest and that will be our coming out together.

• 52:24Speaker 03

  I think, but who, I, well, I'm younger looking, so I'd be Jojo.

• 52:28Speaker 04

  Oh, really? Really?

• 52:30Speaker 03

  Well, and also Chris is flat chested, he's got no breasts, so you, you'd play him.

• 52:34Speaker 04

  I think his breasts in that picture looks bigger than mine, so, okay, fine, that's it, that is just the way that we're gonna have to do it. Well, guess what?

• 52:41Speaker 03

  That's the only way it's gonna work. It's the only way it's gonna work. Jojo, oh, and then Olivia, Olivia was getting, was rolled in on it then as well. Cause people asked her what she thought of it. And she said, of the relationship, she said, I think Jojo Siwa is really famous.

• 52:58Speaker 04

  Oh God, nice. I actually.

• 53:00Speaker 03

  The suggestion being that, the suggestion being that Chris is kind of using her for her fame. There you go.

• 53:08Speaker 04

  A bit of a green card, maybe.

• 53:10Speaker 03

  Keep an eye, more as we get it.

• 53:12Speaker 04

  We'll keep you updated on, on the goings on of their relationship. Everyone, thank you so much for listening. That was my therapist, Goseleme, with me, Vogue Williams and.

• 53:23Speaker 03

  Joanne McNally.

• 53:30Speaker 03

  And actually, you know, I brought some energy to the, to the party.

• 53:34Speaker 04

  Joanne, your eyes were open the whole time.

• 53:36Speaker 03

  I'm wearing sunglasses.

• 53:37Speaker 04

  Are you, are you, what are you gonna do now? Are you gonna go and get into bed and go sleep?

• 53:43Speaker 03

  I'll do a little nap, yeah, before the show.

• 53:45Speaker 04

  Little nap, little nappy nap nap.

• 53:48Speaker 03

  Third of the day.

• 53:49Speaker 04

  Although I was very comfortable in that wheelchair. I wonder where should I get one?

• 53:53Speaker 03

  They're about two, two grand.

• 53:56Speaker 04

  Oh yeah, but I could write it off as a, as a business expense.

• 53:58Speaker 03

  The tour manager not get you your blow up bed? You like a blow up mattress backstage? You don't have that?

• 54:03Speaker 04

  In the venue I do, yeah, but it felt like a bit much to be dragging it around the garden and getting her to pump it up every evening and then take it down.

• 54:11Speaker 03

  How kind of you.

• 54:12Speaker 04

  Yeah, I know. I'm very generous. I'm very generous spirited.

• 54:15Speaker 03

  Thanks everyone for listening.

• 54:27Speaker 01

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• 54:50Speaker 01

  Still haven't started? Hey, better late than ever. Sell your car today on Carvana. Pickup fees may apply.