Oasis II, Rapture & A Fridge

Vogue had a big week. She was off to see the Gallagher lads again and it turns out she's a big film star now. Meanwhile, Joanne was on a plane hoping to catch a glimpse of the rapture in action. There's also some very sad news at the end. This episode is dedicated to Winnie x If you’d like to get in touch, you can send an email to [email protected] Please review Global's Privacy Policy: https://global.com/legal/privacy-policy/ For merch, tour dates and more visit: www.mytherapistghostedme.com Joanne's comedy gigs: www.joannemcnally.com This episode contains explicit language and adult themes that may not be suitable for all listeners.

• 0:00Speaker 00

  Observe. The North American Dad. 50s. Great polo collection. He enters his vehicle information on Carvana. An offer appears in minutes. Remarkable. He squints, reads it again, smiles and says, dang, that's a good offer. The highest form of approval. No haggling, no hassle. No one called him boss. He's still on the couch. Astonishing. Sell your car today on carvana.com. Pickup fees may apply.

• 0:32Speaker 01

  This is a Global Player original podcast.

• 0:45Speaker 02

  Hello and welcome to My Therapist Goated Me with me Vogue Williams and Joanne McNally.

• 0:57Speaker 03

  I'm ready. I put my fish away. I'm ready to jet.

• 1:00Speaker 04

  Put your goddamn fish away.

• 1:02Speaker 02

  I kind of really want fish now.

• 1:04Speaker 03

  Jo, I'm starving. I've just landed from Birmingham.

• 1:07Speaker 04

  I'm not going. I won't.

• 1:08Speaker 03

  I'm a jet setter.

• 1:09Speaker 02

  Someone just mailed me, actually. I've lost the mail and they said they saw you at Birmingham Airport and they were talking to you about my tan. Did that happen?

• 1:16Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 1:18Speaker 02

  I just saw it mailed. I've lost it now.

• 1:20Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:21Speaker 02

  So hello to that person. I'm sorry.

• 1:23Speaker 03

  Yeah, she said to me, so I was, I was queuing, as you do to get on planes, because that's how you get on planes. And she was like cabin crew, she was kind of checking us in. And she came up to me, she was kind of looking at me and then she came up to me and she goes, you're the podcast woman.

• 1:41Speaker 03

  And I said, yep, that is who I am.

• 1:44Speaker 02

  Guilty.

• 1:45Speaker 03

  Yeah, guilty charge. I'm the only podcast woman there is.

• 1:51Speaker 02

  Absolutely.

• 1:52Speaker 03

  And then she said, I love Vogue's tan. And I was like, ah. Yeah, I said, I do, I do. Do you believe it is the best tan on the market? And I do believe that. I've said that to you privately and publicly.

• 2:06Speaker 03

  She was very aware of your name. I was a little more mysterious to her. But she knew I was involved with you in some capacity. And then she said that she loves your tan so much that she used to get it, like, flown in from, I don't know, someone was like muling it, like a drug mule. I didn't know whether they throwing it into a condom and putting it up themselves.

• 2:25Speaker 02

  Great news.

• 2:26Speaker 03

  To get it to the UK before you sold it in the UK. And she said they used to sell it on Aer Lingus flights. Anyway, she was tan mad.

• 2:35Speaker 02

  People, do you know what? People are so loyal to tan. They're, I think they're more loyal to tan than some people are to their own husbands. Tan is very important.

• 2:43Speaker 03

  And do you know what she said, Vogue? She said, she's an ultra, an ultra dark. And I said, I am too, although I said Vogue doesn't like that. Vogue says I'm a medium gal, but I, I said, I, I too am committed to the ultra dark. It has to be a great chat. Almost missed the flight. I was like, oh shit. Then I realised then. Everyone was on the plane, so I had to lag him. But yeah, it was a lovely chat.

• 3:02Speaker 02

  Why Birmingham? What happened there? Why were you in Birmingham?

• 3:06Speaker 03

  I was in the Hippodrome the night before doing a show.

• 3:08Speaker 02

  Oh, I, oh my, so you did two apologies at the Hippodrome.

• 3:12Speaker 03

  I just love to get to Birmingham once a week. You know me, Vogue.

• 3:15Speaker 02

  I do love a bit of Birmingham now, I have to say. And they have a Marks and Spencer in that airport for snacks.

• 3:21Speaker 03

  Hiya, Bab. And can I say, the audience, so the tour is up and running at the moment. And I've never done the Hippodrome before. Grothaus, you know, I have. I was like, I groth, I haven't done it before. That's, this is our regular argument.

• 3:36Speaker 02

  This is terrible that I would veer on the side of Groth, but okay, okay.

• 3:40Speaker 03

  I was like, I haven't. Persecco wouldn't have sold the Hippodrome. It wouldn't have.

• 3:44Speaker 02

  I know.

• 3:45Speaker 04

  You're just not a brilliant source when it comes to where you were.

• 3:48Speaker 03

  My own stories, I know, yeah. That's true.

• 3:50Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 3:51Speaker 03

  But anyway, can I say, it was a Sunday evening. It was one of the nicest gigs we've ever done.

• 3:55Speaker 02

  Why do they call it the Hippodrome? Because there's Hippodromes everywhere. And for some reason, I'm like, I thought it was a bingo hall, but it's not a bingo hall. I know, I did.

• 4:04Speaker 03

  It was a bingo hall. It was a bingo hall.

• 4:07Speaker 02

  Is it? People are mad for bingo.

• 4:10Speaker 03

  Spinning baskets. Legs eleven, legs eleven.

• 4:13Speaker 02

  I was about to say, what'd you shout at the end when you win? But you shout bingo.

• 4:17Speaker 03

  You shout bingo. It's all ahead of us, folk. It's all ahead of us. That's what we will be doing. I can't wait to hit my bingo stage.

• 4:24Speaker 02

  I'll be playing that game, what's it called? Not Bridge is another one that my auntie loves as well. There's another game that I'll ask for hours.

• 4:33Speaker 03

  Bridge is very kind of female centric, I think. One of my, one of my friends learnt how to play Bridge and she's in her, well, she's in her 40s now, but she learnt it in her 30s and we were like, wow, this is like, this is nursing home vibes. She's like, no, no, I love it. But you need, the problem with bridges, you need a partner. You have to have someone to play with.

• 4:54Speaker 02

  It's hours long.

• 4:56Speaker 03

  You won't do that, folk, because you, you won't share sport.

• 4:59Speaker 02

  I want to win. No, there's another game that I've won played called Mangies or something like that. I don't know. It's, it's, obviously it's not called that, but it's a really difficult game to play. And that's what they're on to now. So Bridge has taken a little bit of a backseat and they're on to that other game. I don't know if anybody will know the name of it and I'm not saying it right. No, it's like Mangy or something. I don't remember what it's called. I'd have to ring them.

• 5:19Speaker 03

  Never. This sounds like, is this one of your posh things? Is this one of your same boards?

• 5:23Speaker 02

  No, that's backgammon. That's backgammon?

• 5:26Speaker 03

  No, no, no. Backgammon isn't posh.

• 5:29Speaker 02

  Is it not?

• 5:30Speaker 03

  I would like, for my 50th birthday, I'd like to set up a giant, kind of experiential sized kerplunk.

• 5:39Speaker 02

  Oh, I like kerplunk. Do you know what's not great? The buckaroo. I got, I got buckaroo for the kids and I was like, I remember this being much better. And Operation, do you know how small they've made that? No, no, no. They've made them so small that I can't even do it. Yeah.

• 5:55Speaker 03

  What?

• 5:56Speaker 02

  Yeah. Don't bother. Don't waste your money.

• 5:59Speaker 03

  It's just a teeny tiny pancreas. You're taking out with the tweezers. Great crack though. And also, I think, an important educational tool for future doctors.

• 6:08Speaker 02

  Absolutely.

• 6:09Speaker 03

  We've spoken before about them leaving sponges and stuff inside people. It does happen. So maybe if they were doing more operation in their spare time as a game, they wouldn't make mistakes like that.

• 6:18Speaker 02

  Possibly. And so come here to me. Guess what I did on Saturday night? Well, you know, I went to Oasis last time. I don't know what happens at Oasis. A lot of drinks happen. And I kind of started giving myself the fear yesterday, but my friends.

• 6:31Speaker 03

  What? Can I ask a question?

• 6:33Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 6:34Speaker 03

  Did they come out holding hands or not holding hands?

• 6:37Speaker 02

  They hugged. They're friends. I'm telling you, they're friends.

• 6:39Speaker 03

  Well, someone told me there was one gig that they didn't come out holding hands. And I was like, ooh, spicy.

• 6:48Speaker 02

  Well, we don't, we never held hands, you and I. We only held hands at the end.

• 6:53Speaker 03

  I think we, like, we publicly get on. I mean privately, it's carnage.

• 6:59Speaker 02

  Privately can't bear each other.

• 7:02Speaker 03

  Privately, there's been stabbings and glass and colo. But publicly, the official line is, we like each other.

• 7:09Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, that's the best way to have it.

• 7:11Speaker 03

  But they're infamously, like, at each other's throats. So I think the holding hands thing was to prove, to make us feel comfortable that they are in a togetherness situation. Like that they're in, like, they're back in love. So when they don't hold hands coming out, it makes people unsettled. It unsettles people. It's jarring. We're like, oh my God, are they not talking? What's going on?

• 7:29Speaker 02

  They didn't just hold hands, they actually hugged.

• 7:31Speaker 03

  Scored.

• 7:31Speaker 02

  And they had, yeah, they did. I did. I saw them.

• 7:38Speaker 03

  Who's the top? Who's the bottom?

• 7:40Speaker 02

  Just a little, John, there was only a little handjob, that's all, right? Just a quickie. They did a real quick one.

• 7:45Speaker 03

  Liam's definitely the top. Liam's the top.

• 7:46Speaker 02

  Oh, God. And you know what? My love for Liam, it grows stronger and stronger every single day.

• 7:53Speaker 03

  Listen, I, whatever way my.

• 7:55Speaker 02

  You're not having him. If you ever get the chance and you do that to me, I don't give a shit if I'm married, I'll never forgive you.

• 8:01Speaker 03

  He's going out with someone.

• 8:03Speaker 02

  I know, but like, just in case something ever happens.

• 8:05Speaker 03

  And we have established that the, that the more that men get to know me.

• 8:12Speaker 03

  The less they fancy me.

• 8:14Speaker 02

  Ah, no, I'd say he'd be into you now. So that's why it'd be a bit of a concern for me. I'd be more upset, I'd be more upset if you went with Liam than if you went with Spennell. That's how upset I'd be.

• 8:23Speaker 03

  Mag, are you trying to cock block me off Liam Gallagher? You are, you-

• 8:27Speaker 02

  I just did.

• 8:28Speaker 03

  Oh.

• 8:29Speaker 02

  Friendship would be-

• 8:30Speaker 03

  Wow.

• 8:31Speaker 02

  He, I, that has been a love of mine since I was 12. Okay? Back off, Joanne McNally. Take Noel. Right? Take Noel. He doesn't want me anyway.

• 8:41Speaker 03

  Imagine I wrote Spencer instead and you're like, oh, whatever.

• 8:44Speaker 02

  As long as it's not, listen, don't worry about it. As long as it's not Liam, that is totally fine.

• 8:49Speaker 03

  Are you texting Liam? Now riding your husband. Oh, Grant.

• 8:56Speaker 02

  We share. We share things.

• 8:57Speaker 03

  Fine, fine. You're like, if anything, take a shift off me. Fucking delighted. I'll do the mornings.

• 9:05Speaker 03

  So my, my algorithm was popping off or whatever the way, way it does and um, a video came up of Oasis when they were like kind of at the start of their career. So I guess they were in their twenties. They were probably even younger, Jo. I say, I, I asked, I bring Jo's name into it when I need to be officially fact checked.

• 9:22Speaker 02

  Well, it's 20 years since they broke up, isn't it? So it's 20 years since they broke up and I don't think they were going together that long before they absolutely despised each other.

• 9:32Speaker 04

  Noel's 58 and they were banging, like started banging around in the middle of the nineties, didn't they? So he would have been in his late twenties. He would have been 28 in 95.

• 9:41Speaker 03

  Well, when I say he was, I think was, I was a little, I'm a little younger than the lads. So I remember liking them, but I don't remember ever fancying them, if you know what I mean.

• 9:50Speaker 02

  Oh, God.

• 9:52Speaker 03

  This video turned up with the two of them chatting and Liam, oh, f- f- why, in fairness to him, he was a knockout.

• 9:59Speaker 02

  I think he's better looking now, honestly, I do. I used to have him and Eric Cantona on my wall and that's who I used to kiss goodnight. I remember, it was when I had a single bed, sleeping beside Amber. I must have been, honestly, I must have been about 11. I don't even think I'd, I hadn't gone to secondary school yet and I was kissing his, like, I've always liked a bad boy, as you know yourself.

• 10:18Speaker 03

  What was wrong with me? Do you know who I had my poster was?

• 10:22Speaker 02

  Neil Buchanan.

• 10:24Speaker 03

  No, Douglas something. He was in a film called Crazy People.

• 10:27Speaker 02

  Dudley Moore. Dudley Moore.

• 10:31Speaker 03

  Dudley Moore. Dudley Moore. Was who I had that.

• 10:35Speaker 02

  That's humiliating, even for me.

• 10:37Speaker 03

  Dudley Moore was the poster on my bedroom wall. Dudley.

• 10:42Speaker 02

  No.

• 10:42Speaker 03

  Moore. Yeah, yeah. And then, and then I got really paranoid as a child. I remember asking my mum to remove the post. I think I loved the film Crazy People. I mean, why I had access to that, I've no idea. If bad parenting, Pat should be arrested. I thought his eyes were following me around the room then. And mum had to come in and take the poster down. And it's the same with the China doll. Quite a paranoid child, I would say. But yeah, my crush was Dudley Moore.

• 11:08Speaker 02

  Oh, my God.

• 11:10Speaker 03

  What's that about? It's weird.

• 11:12Speaker 02

  I actually, when you think about it, I actually had quite good taste. Because Eric Cantona, also a ride. Like, he's still good looking, even now he's good looking.

• 11:20Speaker 03

  Did you see your one wearing the bikini made out of Roy Keane's face?

• 11:24Speaker 02

  No, I love Roy Keane too.

• 11:26Speaker 03

  Well, I'll tell you this much. First, such a cantankerous bastard. He gets a lot of attention.

• 11:32Speaker 02

  He's very funny, though. Like, because he's a moany hole, but in a good way. Do you know what I mean?

• 11:36Speaker 03

  He's an absolute moan, but he prides himself on it. And everyone finds it attractive, I'll tell you.

• 11:47Speaker 00

  Observe the North American dad. 50s, great polo collection. He enters his vehicle information on Carvana. An offer appears in minutes. Remarkable. He squints, reads it again, smiles and says, dang, that's a good offer. The highest form of approval. No haggling, no hassle. No one called him boss. He's still on the couch. Astonishing. Sell your car today on carvana.com. Pickup fees may apply.

• 12:23Speaker 03

  Hello and welcome to my. Sorry, I forgot. I don't, oh.

• 12:37Speaker 02

  I was on Oasis and Jo, you said the same thing. I don't know what it is. It's my second time going. I'd go again if I could, but like you do tend to get pretty pissed at Oasis, don't you?

• 12:48Speaker 03

  It's a When in Rome thing, isn't it? It's just sort of, what was the 90s about?

• 12:53Speaker 02

  It's a night out. I know, but still, you know what I'm like the next day. So I was like, oh God, I was like to Claude and Ashley, were we, were we okay? And they were like, no, we were actually totally fine. And because we went to that Friends and Family Bar.

• 13:04Speaker 03

  Any sign of Richard Ashcroft?

• 13:05Speaker 02

  No, but God, isn't he good? I went and watched it. So the girls flew in from Dublin and I was like, I was thinking to myself, I was like, no, I'm not waiting for them. Like, I'm not missing Richard Ashcroft because I only saw his last song the last time I went. So off I went, stood on my own and this woman came over and she's like, are you all right? And I was like, yeah, no, I'm good. My, my friends are coming. No, I have friends, my friends, they are coming. So basically Liam said, we'll see you next year. So that means that they're going to do Nebworth. And I don't know where they would, like, where would they go in Ireland? Cause they've already done the biggest venue in Ireland, but surely they'll do another, like, maybe they'll do Crow Park again. I'm going, or maybe Slane. Slane. They'll do Slane.

• 13:41Speaker 03

  With the same, with the same, like the same tour, I guess.

• 13:46Speaker 02

  I'd, I'd go 10 more times. I'd go 10 more times. I remember I went to Slane. Who are we going to see? We were going to see you two when we were really young and like, I think we were like 16, we'd snuck in and we got absolutely deranged. And one of my friends fell into a bush of nettles and her, you know, the way it goes all lumpy. And her whole face was just lumps. She was bawling crying because she just had all these nettle scratchy lumps all over her face. I'll never forget that.

• 14:12Speaker 03

  Sounds awful.

• 14:12Speaker 02

  So I won't be back, Slane. Yeah.

• 14:14Speaker 03

  God love her.

• 14:19Speaker 02

  Okay. We spoke about this the other day, but we're going to tell you again because it really is such an amazing cause. And we've never done a competition on the podcast, but here it is. The prize is Chuan McNally.

• 14:29Speaker 03

  Two tickets to Pina Foil and you can come backstage after and have a drink with myself and Vogue.

• 14:33Speaker 02

  You're going to get a night in a hotel near the event of Apollo and we're going to throw in 150 quid cash towards your travel costs.

• 14:39Speaker 03

  And as well as that, we have a ghosted merch. Bundle for you and also a copy of Big Mouth.

• 14:45Speaker 02

  The competition is to help raise money for Global's Make Some Noise, which funds vital life-changing projects across the UK, delivered by small local charities with the aim of making sure nobody is left facing life's toughest challenges alone. Projects tackle a wide range of issues, including bereavement, food poverty, domestic abuse, homelessness and loneliness. Some amazing causes and brilliant work.

• 15:06Speaker 03

  So let's give you some details, but before we do, this is only open to residents of the UK aged 18 and over, who are based in the UK.

• 15:15Speaker 04

  I'm going to chip in at this point and say, I know that there's lots of people outside of the UK who are upset about this and we are looking into doing another competition like this another time and opening it to more than just the UK.

• 15:26Speaker 02

  So for your chance to win, for you and a friend to grab a drink with us, then two tickets to see Joanne's Pina Cola show on Saturday, the 18th of October, 2025, at the Eventum Apollo in London. Text GHOST, G H O S T, to 82200.

• 15:42Speaker 03

  By entering, you'll have the chance to make a voluntary £5 donation, which will be added to your phone bill and 100% goes to Global's Make Some Noise.

• 15:50Speaker 02

  You've got until 10am on Monday, the 13th of October to enter. Keep your phone handy, we may be calling you.

• 15:56Speaker 03

  Standard network rates apply. You must be 18 or over to enter. For full Ts and Cs, including prize date restrictions, visit makesomenoise.com/win. So text GHOST, G H O S T, to 82200.

• 16:15Speaker 02

  And good luck.

• 16:18Speaker 03

  I'd like to talk about the rapture, please.

• 16:22Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah.

• 16:23Speaker 03

  I'd like to talk about the most recent, the most recent rapture.

• 16:26Speaker 02

  Also, great song.

• 16:30Speaker 02

  It's not the rapture.

• 16:32Speaker 04

  I don't know.

• 16:35Speaker 02

  Yeah, it is. Okay, go on.

• 16:36Speaker 03

  The rapture is when, basically, it's the end of time, it's the end of mankind, humankind, womankind, they kind. And Jesus comes back, splits the sky open, sucks all the sane people up, allegedly, which just coincidentally happened to be Christians.

• 16:58Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 16:59Speaker 03

  And the rest of us are left to just deal with the fallout of the apocalypse. Right, so the word went around on the internet that the rapture was, I mean, there's been, it's been, it's one of these, you know the way they're always predicting the end of the world, blah, blah, blah. There's always this doom clock and it's never been closer to the end of the world. It's all, it's all womp, to be honest, but anyway. But I, I fell down the rapture talk hole. Well, I didn't fall down, sorry, I actively sought it out and went willingly.

• 17:28Speaker 02

  It's right up your street in fairness.

• 17:29Speaker 03

  Ah! Ah, right up my street.

• 17:33Speaker 02

  Any conspiracy, Joanna's like, there you go, I'll lose her for an evening to a conspiracy theory.

• 17:39Speaker 03

  I love it. But I was like, where, where, so basically rapture talk, fascinating, and it's all the evangelical Christians who are like the mentalist of the mentalists, right? So they genuinely believe this is happening, to the point where they're selling their cars, they're selling their homes.

• 17:58Speaker 02

  But why are they selling them?

• 18:00Speaker 03

  I'm getting raptured. Well, this is the thing.

• 18:02Speaker 02

  What are they gonna do with the money?

• 18:03Speaker 03

  Is it to go and put it all on red the night before you go? Is it to, is it a cash system up in heaven? Is it a clairna system? Are we paying for cars? What's happening up there?

• 18:13Speaker 02

  You're not bringing anything with you. What is the point of selling anything? Come on.

• 18:18Speaker 03

  If, if, if heaven is a capitalist economy, I'm coming back down.

• 18:26Speaker 03

  I'm coming back, I'm going, I'm gonna un-rapture myself and go, well, send me back down, I'll handle the apocalypse. I'd rather handle the apocalypse than be sold alive.

• 18:34Speaker 02

  What do you mean, you're coming back down? You won't be brought up in the rapture, forget about that.

• 18:38Speaker 03

  Excuse me, yes I will, I'm going up, I'm gonna hold on to Jo's ankles.

• 18:43Speaker 02

  Yeah, he is going in fairness.

• 18:44Speaker 03

  Jo's going, you're not going, Vogue, I'm not going.

• 18:46Speaker 04

  I wasn't, I wasn't christened, so I wouldn't, I wouldn't bet on it.

• 18:49Speaker 03

  Are you not christened?

• 18:50Speaker 04

  No, I'm heathenous.

• 18:51Speaker 03

  Well, Jo, she's, Vogue christened one of her kids Catholic, one of the Protestants, she doesn't, she's definitely not going.

• 18:55Speaker 02

  Two of them are Protestant, one is Catholic. If I have another one, I'll do another Catholic and then, do you know what, maybe I won't, maybe I'll go completely all out and do a completely different religion.

• 19:04Speaker 03

  Vogue is religiously dyslexic, she hasn't a clue what's going on. So she's not going up, she's not gonna get raptured. So Jo, you're the only one that's gonna get raptured.

• 19:13Speaker 02

  I'll be a Baptist, a Baptist.

• 19:14Speaker 03

  You'll be, yeah, be like, oh, this is Lynette, she's Muslim.

• 19:20Speaker 03

  Yeah. For diversity. Yeah.

• 19:23Speaker 02

  Absolutely. I'm trying to just bring us all together.

• 19:25Speaker 03

  I've had a Buddhist baby. Oh, that's lovely, Vogue. Good for you, opening it out.

• 19:31Speaker 02

  The balla, like Madonna, we'd all have the red little bands.

• 19:35Speaker 03

  It's so, I, I, I suppose when I was, when I was reading all about the rapture stuff, I was like, where's the line between religion and psychosis? Like where, like these people are crying on TikTok, bawling, crying because they're, they genuinely believe they're about to get raptured and they're crying because they're, they're saying goodbye to their kids. Why are your kids not getting raptured?

• 19:57Speaker 02

  Do you know what I do think though as well? I'm like, sometimes I'm a bit jealous of those people, no matter how bizarre and everything it is, at least they really think they're going somewhere.

• 20:06Speaker 03

  I know.

• 20:06Speaker 02

  Like, I don't want to think I'm not going anywhere and I really need to start like just, I'm like, oh, please believe in heaven.

• 20:11Speaker 03

  I believe, I agree. I envy, I do envy the dogged belief, but like they look terrified. And then there's other parts of rapture talk where people are kind of doing a kind of get ready with me for the rapture thing where they're picking outfits and all. I'm like, are you not getting beamed up? Are we going up in clothes?

• 20:29Speaker 02

  Oh, I'd be going up in clothes. If, if you knew, if you knew the end of the world was coming, you probably, you probably would do your tan. You might get a nice blow dry. It's like those people who sometimes go in to give birth and, and if they're getting a C-section, they get their nails done, they get their hair done, they get like makeup done sometimes. Like I, I think that's pretty amazing as well.

• 20:46Speaker 03

  Yeah. If you're into Jesus and you think he's, and you think he's about to invite you to an after party, yeah, you're going to put the work in and get ready. I was flying the day of the rapture and I was, I was, when I say excited to see the bodies floating up beside the plane. I was like, if this is kicking off, I'm glad I have a great view on a Ryanair flight.

• 21:06Speaker 04

  You may as well go. You're, you're on the way.

• 21:09Speaker 03

  Yeah. And then of course the rapture didn't happen. Shock horror. Like how many times do you have to get ghosted by Jesus to, he's just, he's just not into you. Do you know, he's not, he's not coming back. And then they're all crying and all trying to get their heads and their cars back. And I'm like, where does this leave them, their beliefs?

• 21:28Speaker 02

  Well, I suppose they just kind of wait for the next one. That'd be a real nightmare about the house and the car. I remember when Amber moved to Australia, moved, she sold her car and everything and then she went home three weeks later and it was a fucking nightmare trying to get a new car.

• 21:39Speaker 03

  Yeah, of course. Yeah. I felt very sorry for the raptured, the people who didn't get raptured and thought they were going to get raptured. Like, imagine you thought you were going to get raptured. Imagine the amount of bapantin I'd have on my face.

• 21:51Speaker 02

  Oh, my God.

• 21:52Speaker 03

  I imagine the rapturing is very bad for the skin, getting sucked up into heaven like that. But anyway, now they're all crying and saying that they don't believe in God anymore. It's all, it's, it's, where is the line between, like, faith is like kind of blind belief with no proof. That's what faith is. But like, where is the line between faith and complete delusion? I don't know. I don't know where the line is. I have no answers.

• 22:13Speaker 02

  It depends on people and how like much faith that they have and they're, and like, obviously they would have been completely depressed. But there's always another one. What's that thing where there's a prediction, there's predictions at the start of the year all the time. And they always predict the end of the earth at some point. But as well, don't forget, November, the aliens are meant to be coming for us, remember?

• 22:30Speaker 03

  Oh, that's being a god. That was, that was.

• 22:33Speaker 02

  No, there's, there's November coming. They're meant to come.

• 22:36Speaker 03

  There's more, to be honest, there's more chance of the aliens coming than Jesus coming. And that's the God's honest truth.

• 23:21Speaker 02

  I basically followed this new Instagram account that I'm actually going to unfollow because it's, I think it's called scary facts. And I've been, for some reason, it always pops up and it's these mad kind of facts. So one of them was there are an estimated 40 million corpses in the ocean from all the shipwrecks, plane crashes, suicides and people who were murdered.

• 23:41Speaker 03

  That's bullshit.

• 23:44Speaker 02

  Forty mil- they're scary facts, Joanna.

• 23:47Speaker 03

  No, there's no way. That is absolutely a figure pulled out of someone's arse. That is not true.

• 23:54Speaker 02

  Over all the year, well, I suppose some of them obviously decompose and stuff like that, but still their bones are still there. So that, I don't think that sounds that unusual.

• 24:02Speaker 03

  Jo, put on your wellies and go out and count the bodies, please. As our producer, it's your job.

• 24:07Speaker 04

  I'll be long momentarily.

• 24:08Speaker 02

  But think about it, even on Everest, right, which not that many people have climbed, there are over, there's like 270 bodies just on Everest. And if the whole ocean, and that's where people throw loads of bodies. If you're going to kill someone, what are you going to do with it?

• 24:23Speaker 03

  Did you see her one who fell off the cliff in China?

• 24:26Speaker 02

  No.

• 24:28Speaker 03

  Oh, God love her. She, she like detached herself from the group, you know, on the rope to take a photo, toppled off the side.

• 24:35Speaker 02

  No.

• 24:36Speaker 03

  Yeah. And there's footage of her. One of the worst, one of the worst things I've ever seen. And now, it's actually not one of the worst things I've ever seen, one of the weirdest things I've ever seen, because I have seen some pretty bad shit, because you know the way sometimes it's that whole, don't click this and then you click.

• 24:51Speaker 02

  I never click it. You always click it. It's like that, remember that poor man who was eaten by a shark in Egypt and everyone was watching and I was like, not for me.

• 24:58Speaker 03

  I know. It's so grim. It's just like this morbid fascination, I guess, with death. But, um, you know, like I've seen, you know, beheadings and, you know.

• 25:07Speaker 02

  Oh my God. I honestly can tell you, I would not be able to ever forget something like that.

• 25:13Speaker 03

  Well, I haven't and I would not recommend, if, if, if I can give any advice to the listeners, if you are offered an opportunity to watch a beheading, don't take it.

• 25:25Speaker 03

  It was around the time.

• 25:26Speaker 02

  People would.

• 25:27Speaker 03

  It was around the time of the Iraq war and there was a lot of stuff going around and I was.

• 25:31Speaker 02

  They were going around all the time.

• 25:33Speaker 03

  Finger happy on the phone and anyway, ended up seeing it. But one of the weirdest things I've seen or this, or the most, one of the most unsettling things I've seen was this man in a Zorb.

• 25:45Speaker 02

  Oh my god, I, yes.

• 25:47Speaker 03

  And I think because it looks so childish and then the end result was so awful.

• 25:54Speaker 02

  Is that?

• 25:54Speaker 03

  So he, he was, it was in Russia, I think, maybe. And there's kind of like a Zorb track where they put them in these huge big, you know, it's all very stag party coded. Put them in these huge big Zorb balls and they're supposed to kind of like bounce along, like ping pong balls along the route and then you get out at the end and ha ha, bit of gas crack. And whatever happened, the Zorb bounced the wrong way. And I think because it looks kind of cartoonish, that the, the ending is so. Like so opposed to how it looks. Like, cause it's like a toy.

• 26:25Speaker 04

  Are we not, we're not saying at what ends? Cause I've not seen that.

• 26:28Speaker 03

  Well, he.

• 26:29Speaker 02

  I actually haven't seen that one.

• 26:30Speaker 03

  He goes off the side of the cliff and yeah, that's the end of it. Yeah.

• 26:34Speaker 04

  Jesus.

• 26:35Speaker 03

  I know. Yeah.

• 26:37Speaker 02

  Did you ever see that one of, there was this like, um, this, it's not a Zorb, it's made out of metal and basically you spin somebody around and the thing broke off. And again, fell off the side of a cliff. I saw that recently and I was like, oh my god. And I suppose you could see it because you don't actually see them dying, but like.

• 26:55Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 26:55Speaker 02

  I just, I don't like any of those things. Or you know that thing where like people lie on a net and they're like put out off the side of a really high building to just look over and just act like they're flying. And I'm like, I just would not want to do something like that. I do always, I've started because I, I'm morbid in, just in general. So like.

• 27:13Speaker 03

  Everyone is. Everyone's obsessed for death. Everyone is.

• 27:16Speaker 02

  You know what? I feel so sorry for everybody who's gonna have to get rid of my stuff when I go, I keep saying that, but I do, I have a lot of stuff. There's a lot of stuff to get rid of.

• 27:24Speaker 03

  What you should do is start doing it now.

• 27:27Speaker 02

  Yeah, but I have too much stuff. I do. I do it as much as I can.

• 27:31Speaker 03

  If you're getting rid of any of your acne or Frankie shop stuff, I'll have it.

• 27:35Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 27:36Speaker 03

  I'm like, Vogue, you're gonna die soon. It's starting to clear out, hon. You're 40 now. You're 40. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 27:42Speaker 02

  It's time. It's time to go.

• 27:44Speaker 03

  It's time to start packing your stuff away, Vogue. Don't leave it to the kids.

• 27:50Speaker 02

  I'm even looking here. I'm like, look at all this makeup.

• 27:53Speaker 03

  They're gonna be busy grieving. People say get your affairs in order. That's what you gotta do. You gotta get your affairs. Get your affairs in order.

• 28:00Speaker 02

  Tough shit. Why would I bother my hole? Because you know what? I'm not gonna have to do it anyway. I just, all I said was I feel sorry for the person. It doesn't mean that I'm gonna actually do anything to help that. I just feel bad for them.

• 28:11Speaker 03

  I can just see, I can see me and Amber dueling at dawn over your clothes if you go before the two of us. Do, do, do, do, do, do, do. Yeah, the two pistols coming out.

• 28:23Speaker 02

  You wouldn't be able to take on Amber when it comes to the clothes, but every time I see Amber, I'm like, did I? Did I give you that? Or is that? And she's like, stop doing that. Because every time I see something nice, I'm like, I don't remember giving you that. Did I give you that? Or have you stolen?

• 28:39Speaker 03

  Vogue, can we please talk about the fact that you are now a movie star?

• 28:45Speaker 02

  Yeah, I worked alongside Kristen Wiig. We are colleagues.

• 28:50Speaker 03

  Vogue is now a fridge in a Disney film. I have never been more jealous in my life.

• 28:58Speaker 03

  I wanna be a kitchen appliance in a Disney film.

• 29:01Speaker 02

  Joanne texted me about it and I was like, you are unusually thrilled and excited about this.

• 29:06Speaker 03

  Ah, come on. That's, that's a big deal now. That's cool.

• 29:10Speaker 02

  It was, to be honest with you, so I'm in the new Gabby's Dollhouse movie and she loves Gabby's Dollhouse. And, and I don't, by the way, I don't actually know Kristen Wiig. I haven't met her or anything like that. So just in case she's like, who's that weirdo saying we're colleagues?

• 29:24Speaker 02

  But basically I'm the voiceover for the fridge in Gabby's Dollhouse the movie, which is out very soon. I'm going to the premiere on Sunday.

• 29:30Speaker 03

  This is, so the dream is to get a, I remember Ali Wong spoke about it in one of her specials. She was like, I just wanna be the voice of Tofu in a Disney film. So you don't have to get dressed. You don't have to put makeup on. You get paid massive amounts of money. Obviously it's none of our business what you're getting paid, Vogue, but I will expect you to tell me off camera.

• 29:48Speaker 02

  Well, I only had a few lines now, to be fair.

• 29:50Speaker 03

  Go on.

• 29:51Speaker 02

  I only had a few.

• 29:52Speaker 03

  But what about the pay?

• 29:54Speaker 02

  Well, I wouldn't say I was getting paid what Ali Wong or Kristen Wiig got paid, but it was more for because Xi Xi loves it so much. I was like, what a cool thing to do. But when I went, it was in Universal and I went there and I met all these people and like, there was loads of people. And then we went into this kind of theatre room where I was doing the voiceover, but there was about 10 of them sitting there just watching me. And you know the way I never sweat? Well, I was sweating. I had to keep apologising for being so sweaty. I was like, oh my God, I don't usually sweat. Honestly, I don't usually sweat. I was just so nervous because they were all just sitting there. Because I walked in and started doing it straight away. And I was like, I'm not, I don't, honestly, I don't usually sweat. Ask my friend Joanne. She's the sweaty one. She's the sweaty bitch.

• 30:36Speaker 03

  We've said it. You're Prince Andrew through and through.

• 30:40Speaker 03

  Not a drop.

• 30:42Speaker 02

  Jesus, what a desperate thing to be told. I'm Prince Andrew, am I?

• 30:46Speaker 03

  Well, sorry, not through and through.

• 30:48Speaker 02

  Not, not all the traits. Yes, yes, yes.

• 30:52Speaker 03

  Well, anyway, I am so, I'm buzzing like an elf fridge that you are playing the role of a fridge.

• 30:59Speaker 02

  It was very fun. And you're right. The next time I go, I'll wear less clothes. I'm not going to bother my arse doing my makeup and I'm just going to show up.

• 31:06Speaker 03

  I'd lo-, I would love that. I'm just, so I'm just putting it out there into the universe. If anyone wants me to play the role of a hairdryer or a Dyson airwrap or a Hoover, anything like that, where I don't have to get dressed or put makeup on, I would be thrilled.

• 31:23Speaker 02

  Yeah. And listen, both of us are fully available, open for bookings and we're in.

• 31:29Speaker 03

  You're a movie star now.

• 31:31Speaker 02

  Well, I am changing my, my bio. I'm just going to put in worked alongside Kristen Wiig because I kind of did. She's there. No, worked alongside A-list actress.

• 31:41Speaker 03

  Sorry, fine, fine.

• 31:41Speaker 02

  Kristen Wiig.

• 31:42Speaker 03

  I said this before, but I'll say it again. I, well, I, obviously, I listen to a lot of stuff because I'm on my own a lot of the time and I listen to it for company, et cetera. And when they started using, so there's an app that I use where it turns newspaper articles into audio versions. So you can listen to the newspaper articles, you rock around. And they've started using AI voices and I can't stand it. And then I realised, oh, I'm actually listening to these for company. It's not, it's not necessarily just the information that's in the article. I'm actually listening to it for a bit of like, human interaction at the same time. And when it's AI, I don't, I don't enjoy it at all. Like, I really don't. So I'm so pleased that those big films are still doing, like, using real people. Of course they are, because they're

• 32:27Speaker 03

  selling on your name then as well. Like, it's, you know, even million followers, folks. That's a lot for a fridge.

• 32:33Speaker 02

  That's a lot for a fridge. But did you not see that thing, like, speaking of AI, there was that actress and she was on, she, was she at the, what was she, she was basically casting a comedy short on YouTube and cracking jokes and stuff on camera. Her name is Tilly Norwood. She looks absolutely beautiful, but she's completely AI and supposedly she's being, yeah, she's been used, been used for way more things. I just, I just don't, I get some people can be quite lonely and maybe that's why they would become friends with, with the AI robots. But like, I have said from the very start, I'm really scared of AI. I don't really get it. Even like, I prefer going, when I'm in the shop, I just would prefer to go to the person instead of doing my own, not just out of laziness, because there is that too, and also because it never goes through properly when you're in the shop.

• 33:18Speaker 02

  I'd prefer to go to the shop assistant.

• 33:20Speaker 03

  I used to do it in stand-up, but now I'm laughed. I couldn't make it funny. But I was, my, my point was that creating, like, and it was mostly men involved in creating AI, and they've created our successor. Like I said, it's, it's the equivalent of hiring a hot nanny. Women wouldn't be stupid enough to do it. You're not going to bring in your successor into your own home, which is what they've done with AI. These lads have built something that's going to take over their own jobs. It's nuts. But anyway, it's, it's here now, you know?

• 33:47Speaker 02

  It's here. There's nothing we can do to stop us.

• 33:49Speaker 03

  There's nothing we can do to stop us.

• 33:50Speaker 02

  It's pushing forward.

• 34:03Speaker 03

  I'm very nice to my chat GPT because I do feel there will come a day where it will become sentient and I don't want it to put me in a hamster wheel.

• 34:17Speaker 02

  Do you know, remember that time you told that really awful story that you thought it was a really lovely love story about that man who basically dug up his wife and used to dance around with her and like dressed her in wax bandages and stuff and just kept her body for years and years and years?

• 34:30Speaker 03

  Yeah, and tied her together with piano strings.

• 34:32Speaker 02

  Oh god, well, do you want to hear an actual romantic story?

• 34:35Speaker 03

  And her families came past and they knew that he was so obsessed with her, they suspected that he'd actually stolen her from the grave. Yeah, I do. My goal.

• 34:43Speaker 02

  Yeah, well, do you want to hear an actual romantic story? I saw there is this big, there's a palace, right?

• 34:53Speaker 03

  I was on the plane today.

• 34:54Speaker 02

  Your story is not romantic.

• 34:56Speaker 03

  It is, it is folk.

• 34:59Speaker 02

  It's not, I don't want to be dug up and dragged around, like my car has been dragged around.

• 35:04Speaker 03

  Okay, okay, well, let's just see if you die first and Spano isn't, you'll be devastated. If he, I'll be like, you get down there with a spade, Spencer. I'll bring the piano strings.

• 35:15Speaker 02

  The two of yous can share me.

• 35:17Speaker 03

  Drag her into the dressing room, yeah.

• 35:22Speaker 02

  Listen to this one. The palace of Prince Smetsky of Russia, built to save his wife from tuberculosis. It had 365 rooms, one for every day of the year. So basically, he put all his money into building this palace so the wife could recover. If she slept in a different room each night, a germ-free room, she got so much better from tuberculosis. She actually outlived him and lived until she was 90. And that is what I would like my husband to, that's what I'd like my husband to do for me, not drag around my dead corpse.

• 35:56Speaker 03

  Well, interestingly, the guy who did drag around the dead corpse, he, the woman who died, died of tuberculosis also, and he was her doctor.

• 36:03Speaker 02

  Oh god, no.

• 36:05Speaker 03

  Tuberculosis was huge back in the day. It's like protein now, it was very popular.

• 36:10Speaker 02

  Like creatine, are you still on the creatine buzz? I'm gonna get on that buzz.

• 36:13Speaker 03

  No idea what it does, but of course I'm on it. You know, I love a trend. I love a fad.

• 36:21Speaker 03

  We've some sad news this week.

• 36:24Speaker 02

  We do, and I'm going to try.

• 36:25Speaker 03

  Oh.

• 36:27Speaker 02

  I know. Poor little Winnie died.

• 36:31Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 36:32Speaker 02

  Little Winnie. He was four, nearly 14, and yeah, he died.

• 36:37Speaker 03

  I know, it's so, I'm so sad. Like, I don't know why, when you told me this morning, I was like inch.

• 36:45Speaker 02

  I know.

• 36:46Speaker 03

  It seemed like it was, why did I, I was like, why am I acting like this is sudden? It felt very sudden, even though we knew he was sick. It felt very sudden.

• 36:55Speaker 02

  I honestly thought that I was gonna have to take him to the vet and like do that for him because he was, he was sick, obviously, on and off. But he, yeah, he just died. He just was lying in the hall and he just died. But at least I was beside him. And he's gone to a better place.

• 37:12Speaker 03

  Gone to a better place.

• 37:13Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 37:13Speaker 03

  Well, do you know what I find interesting? Winston is one of the few animals I've ever heard of to die naturally in the arms of their owner. Most pets, from my experience, are they get really sick, they have to be put down. I think there's something really sweet about the fact that you were with them. And then like, he died of natural causes.

• 37:34Speaker 02

  Yeah, to be honest with you, I actually did feel really lucky because I was really stressed about that, or it happening like during the night when he was on his own. And then this morning, he just like lay down by the front door and then he just, he died and he actually wasn't in any pain. He didn't like squeal or anything. But yeah, little Winnie.

• 37:51Speaker 03

  Poor little Winnie.

• 37:52Speaker 02

  I know, he was the best.

• 37:54Speaker 03

  He was so cute. And I said to Vogue this morning, because she was like, I'm heartbroken. I was like, well, yeah, because you know Winnie longer than you know your husband or your children.

• 38:02Speaker 02

  I know.

• 38:02Speaker 03

  That's true.

• 38:03Speaker 02

  Like, he literally has come everywhere with me. Like, I got him in Australia, he came over and I just, I, but it was, it was strange because yesterday, I took him on a big, long walk. Like, we had a lovely day yesterday and he's been play fighting with Bertie and stuff. And then there's just this morning, I suppose, there's no better way for it to happen than to happen like that. And, but God, it's, I'm never, I swear to God, I am never doing it again. I just, after Bertie, I'm not getting any more pets. It's too sad. It's so, like, I've just been crying non-stop all day today and it's just.

• 38:37Speaker 02

  It's a horrible feeling, but yeah.

• 38:39Speaker 03

  The tax of love, the tax of love.

• 38:41Speaker 02

  I know.

• 38:42Speaker 03

  Like, Garode's cat died recently.

• 38:45Speaker 02

  Did it?

• 38:46Speaker 03

  Yeah, and when I say, he, you won't mind me saying this, he is devastated.

• 38:53Speaker 02

  I know.

• 38:54Speaker 03

  Devastated, and I think people can sometimes be dismissive of pet deaths. Like, people don't take it that seriously, but there's that unconditional love, that connection. Like, my, we've had dogs, we always had dogs, and the last dog that died on us, she didn't die on us, I guess. We had to have her put down for various reasons. But like, I still, I miss her, I think about her, you know, like, I, you know.

• 39:20Speaker 02

  Because they're part of your family.

• 39:22Speaker 03

  She was with my mum, really, but I, Roxy, she was a mad bitch as well, but I, I, she was, yeah, she was insane. She'd be like shagging everything and all this mental, but anyway. Um.

• 39:32Speaker 02

  No, but you just, I suppose it's because they're just part of your family for so long, and he was nearly with us 14 years. But like, I knew I'd be really sad, I just didn't know I'd be this sad.

• 39:41Speaker 03

  Yeah. It's unconditional love, pets give unconditional love. What, there's no, there's no one else that gives unconditional love, except your parents, if you're lucky enough to have good parents. Not even some parents don't give unconditional love. And I, so I remember even sometimes when I'd be minding Roxy, mum be away, and I'd be out, and I'd think of Roxy in the house on her own, I'd feel over.

• 40:02Speaker 02

  I know.

• 40:03Speaker 03

  Guilt, I was like, oh my god, I'm out here enjoying myself in a wine bar, and the dog is on its own at home, we need to get home to the dog. Yeah, I don't know.

• 40:11Speaker 02

  Well, poor Bertie is just wanting a range, and he just keeps like he's at my feet the whole day. But yeah, you're right, it is the tax of love, and we got him for almost 14 years, and he couldn't have gone in a better way. Like, he hated the vet, so we would have hated to have to go there, and I didn't want his last moments to be there, so yeah.

• 40:27Speaker 03

  Are you gonna have him cremated? You are gonna have him cremated?

• 40:30Speaker 02

  I'm gonna have him cremated, and I might take him to Houth.

• 40:33Speaker 03

  But you'll keep a bit of him?

• 40:35Speaker 02

  I don't know, I think he'd like, because I thought about doing that, I was like, maybe I'll bring him here and here and here, and then I'm like, well, I just put him where I know he loves, and where I love. And where all, yeah, I was like, where are his favourite places? I'll bring him to Scotland, I'll bring some of them to Houth, and then I was like, no.

• 40:49Speaker 03

  What a bougie dog, being sprinkled across St Bart's.

• 40:54Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 40:55Speaker 03

  What a lovely, lovely legacy.

• 40:56Speaker 02

  He's never been to St Bart's, he's always wanted to go.

• 41:01Speaker 02

  Oh yeah.

• 41:02Speaker 03

  R.I.P Winnie.

• 41:03Speaker 02

  Rest in peace little Windsor.

• 41:11Speaker 03

  Okay. See you next week.

• 41:16Speaker 02

  Thanks everyone for listening.

• 41:49Speaker 05

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