MTGM EXTRA! "SEND that hey girly text."

Tech issues hit the podcast once again this week and the finger was pointing at one person. Have a guess who it was... Plus, children drinking booze, Joanne NOT buying edibles and a listener email that tells you exactly what to do the next time you unearth a cheater... My Therapist Ghosted Me is a Global Production. Tickets for Joanne's tour Pinotphile are now LIVE: www.joannemcnally.com http://www.joannemcnally.com/ If you’d like to get in touch, you can send an email to [email protected] mailto:[email protected] Please review Global's Privacy Policy: https://global.com/legal/privacy-policy/ For merch, tour dates and more visit: www.mytherapistghostedme.com http://www.mytherapistghostedme.com/ This episode contains explicit language and adult themes that may not be suitable for all listeners.

• 0:02Speaker 00

  This is a Global Production.

• 0:04Speaker 01

  Please do tell the wife, even if she's not ready, even if she'll ignore you, even if she accuses you of meddling in her perfect life, someday she'll have the peace of mind knowing that someone tried to help her.

• 0:13Speaker 02

  Well, I start correct it then. Now, I better, I better jump off. I have a lot of calls to make.

• 0:23Speaker 02

  Clear the day.

• 0:30Speaker 01

  Hello and welcome to My Therapist Ghosted Me. God, we haven't done this in a while.

• 0:35Speaker 02

  I was just gonna say, I haven't heard you intro us in ages. You should just ramble on.

• 0:39Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 0:40Speaker 02

  You're such a pro.

• 0:41Speaker 01

  Well, I'm trying to be professional.

• 0:44Speaker 02

  Okay, for context, we are recording this remotely. I am in a kind of, like, slightly bougie but desert situation. The wifi, Jo, I lost your little dongle.

• 1:01Speaker 01

  Oh my god.

• 1:03Speaker 03

  Joanne?

• 1:04Speaker 01

  We haven't even recorded yet.

• 1:07Speaker 03

  So let's-

• 1:07Speaker 02

  I don't know where, I can't explain it. I think someone took, I think someone opened my pod equipment and stole the dongle and then put everything else back in the bag. I can't explain where it's gone.

• 1:16Speaker 03

  Okay, let me, let me give context. So at the moment, what I hope you're seeing if you're watching on YouTube is seamless video from Joanne that has been uploaded at a later date.

• 1:25Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:26Speaker 03

  What we're seeing is Joanne's screen is frozen because she hasn't got sufficient wifi in order to-

• 1:31Speaker 01

  It's frozen already.

• 1:32Speaker 03

  -convey the signal. You're back now, it's fine now.

• 1:34Speaker 02

  Now, I did, Jo, I did walk the six-

• 1:37Speaker 03

  I'm not done. I'm not done. I'm not done. I had bought Joanne a hotspot, a 5G hotspot that was going to work in the United States of America.

• 1:47Speaker 01

  How much did it cost? How much did it cost?

• 1:50Speaker 03

  A hundred pounds.

• 1:51Speaker 02

  Oh!

• 1:52Speaker 03

  And that was gonna sort us out for any shitty-

• 1:54Speaker 01

  I'll wrap you.

• 1:55Speaker 03

  -signal problems. No, don't worry, it wasn't me that paid for it, it was, uh-

• 1:59Speaker 02

  I knew, I knew this was gonna crack you. I cannot explain how nervous I've been to tell you this. This is like, this is like me ringing in sick.

• 2:06Speaker 03

  I don't expect anything from you now.

• 2:08Speaker 02

  Do you know when you work in the cinema, when you're a teenager and you have to ring in sick? And, and you're dreading it. Do you remember, do you remember the story I told you about the guy?

• 2:16Speaker 01

  Do you know when you work in the cinema? I've never worked in a cinema.

• 2:18Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 2:19Speaker 02

  I haven't either, actually, but there's a, I, yeah, I've never actually worked in a cinema. But there was a story, we were at a house party once and one of the lads wanted to ring in sick. So remember your friend would ring in sick for you?

• 2:30Speaker 01

  Oh, stop.

• 2:32Speaker 02

  And then, when he turned up to work the next day, he was fired because his friend had rung in and said he'd broken all his legs in a car crash and then he walked in the next day. Anyway, that's the dread I've had about this dongle thing.

• 2:43Speaker 01

  I once called in sick when I worked on a building site, but like, it was coming up to Paddy's Day and they knew I was Irish, St Patrick's Day, and they were like, you have to come in on Monday and St Patrick's Day, and I just, I was like, I am, like, we don't even celebrate that. And did I go in? No, I certainly did not. And there was absolutely no excuse. I just kinda sauntered in and my head held high and I was like, well, I'm not even gonna try and lie to you. It is what it is, that's it.

• 3:05Speaker 02

  It is what it is, yeah. I've been up since four.

• 3:07Speaker 01

  Oh, with the jet lag. With the jet lag.

• 3:10Speaker 02

  What's going on? Yeah, but I, I have to say, the jet lag actually suits me because I, but also I'm working nights. Anyway, let's not complain. Sure, it's great to be working. Go on, folk, you were saying something.

• 3:23Speaker 01

  Sure, if I get, if I get a sniff of sleep chat, you know, I'm all in.

• 3:26Speaker 02

  This, just to say, I am in America, I'm here for the next couple of weeks. I'm going everywhere. Chicago, Boston, New York, Dallas, Houston, um, where else? Probably going to, and also I have loads of extra New York tickets because, you know the way I'm filming it for the Netflix special, so they, they kept loads of seats free for the cameras. And now that they realise the setup that they need, they've released more tickets.

• 3:51Speaker 01

  Jesus, November.

• 3:53Speaker 02

  Yeah, soon, isn't it?

• 3:54Speaker 01

  Do you know, I'm gonna be your next door neighbour when, when you get back. I'm literally gonna be a five minute walk from your house. We're, we're moving to another rental.

• 4:00Speaker 02

  It's so exciting.

• 4:02Speaker 01

  It's very exciting.

• 4:03Speaker 02

  Sorry to interrupt, November 7th, so there's now loads extra New York tickets and I need those shows to go because, you know, that's the record. It would be very demoralising if I'm, if they don't go. I need, I need the vibes. Bring, bring the vibes, November 7th. Two shows. Yes, you're gonna be my neighbour.

• 4:25Speaker 01

  Because then I'll, then I'll get a little Netflix. That will be my way into Netflix. I'll just pop along and be on your show.

• 4:31Speaker 02

  Well, there, there, loads of people are coming out. Pat's coming over.

• 4:35Speaker 01

  I could do, I'd have to bring the baby, though.

• 4:37Speaker 02

  Brendan Courtney's coming over.

• 4:38Speaker 01

  Pat's going over? Who's flying over with Pat?

• 4:41Speaker 02

  She's go, she's flying herself. Well, as a passenger.

• 4:44Speaker 01

  Stop.

• 4:47Speaker 01

  Lovely.

• 4:48Speaker 02

  She's taking the PJ.

• 4:54Speaker 02

  So I'm, I'm, I'm obviously flying her over and, um-

• 4:57Speaker 01

  But you usually collect her from the air flights and stuff, that's why I thought you would have probably-

• 5:01Speaker 02

  I actually think Brendan might, Brendan might do that because I, I don't know if I'll be able to because I'll be working, but, um, but, but yeah, she's, I'm, I'm flying her over. First class. She'll be in, she'll be practically in the cockpit. We're going all out.

• 5:18Speaker 01

  First class? Do they do, where can you get first class in New York? Is that real?

• 5:22Speaker 02

  Well, she's going, sorry, premium economy.

• 5:27Speaker 03

  Sorry, Pat.

• 5:31Speaker 01

  She'll go left and they'll send her back right.

• 5:34Speaker 02

  She's, she's in, I got her the emergency exit, she's the extra leg space, she'll be great.

• 5:43Speaker 01

  I once offered to fly Sandra over to New York. I thought I was being really nice because she loves shopping so much, as you know, and I was like, right, that'll be a really nice thing to do at my mom. Hopefully I'll get a deal and I was like, and I'll fly you over business and we'll go over to New York and we'll have like a really nice time together. She's, oh no, no, no. And I was like, what do you mean, no? We'll go shopping. And she's like, no, no, no, no, no, no. My mom has decided that for the rest of her life, she will never visit another country unless it's called Ireland, England or Spain.

• 6:12Speaker 02

  Why?

• 6:12Speaker 01

  She's not going anywhere else. She just doesn't want to. She's done now, she's finished. She does not want to travel anywhere anymore.

• 6:18Speaker 02

  I'm kinda surprised because Sandra's very, like, young spirited, do you know what I mean? Like, she's, she's got, there's, there's, you know, there's life in that woman. She's-

• 6:29Speaker 01

  She, she, she had her sister's town and she had, Gina and Naomi went down to see her and they, they broke the rules. They went down for a full week. Like, I, as you know, you can go down and see my parents for two days and then they're like, get out of our space. They broke the rules and I was talking, I was talking to her on the phone. And I was like, how did you get on with them for a full week? I was probably a bit mean at times.

• 6:55Speaker 02

  Did she say that?

• 6:56Speaker 01

  She can't help herself, yes, she can't.

• 6:57Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 6:58Speaker 01

  Help it.

• 7:00Speaker 02

  But being around anyone for any length of time, like, a week in someone's company is hard. It is hard.

• 7:06Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 7:07Speaker 02

  Like, I don't think I could spend-

• 7:09Speaker 01

  A week in my company? You could, you'd love it.

• 7:12Speaker 02

  Well, no, we had a lovely time when we went touring together the last time. Remember, we were in America and all, we had a ball, but like-

• 7:19Speaker 01

  Oh god.

• 7:19Speaker 02

  It is, especially now, I'm so used to being on my own. I don't even, I think I would just, I'd bite someone if I spent any longer than 20 minutes in their company. Like a rabid dog.

• 7:30Speaker 01

  Have you fought with the crew yet? Because you've been with them for ages. That's a long old time.

• 7:35Speaker 02

  No, I haven't fought with them yet, actually. They're looking at me here.

• 7:37Speaker 01

  That's good.

• 7:38Speaker 02

  They're filming me while I sleep. It's basically like The Truman Show.

• 7:45Speaker 01

  I, I remember I had to film something, I had to film something with Martin before and like, it was, it was an anxiety doc. He came in and filmed me in my bed, like, turning off the alarm clock. I'm like, oh, this is realistic.

• 7:58Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because they're saying, because this is the last day that I'm filming with them and then I won't see them again till the three arena. And, um, the, so the director was like, so, you know, we obviously have to get out and about, like, we're, we're making a TV show. And, um, he was like, would we go horse riding, you know? And I was like, yeah, sure. He's like, no, I don't want to feel contrived. Like, is that something you'd normally do on a day off? And I was like, horse riding on a day off? Well, no, but I don't think watching me drink a bottle of wine in bed on my own is gonna be that interesting for the viewers. So we're gonna have to get out of the house.

• 8:31Speaker 01

  Just scrolling.

• 8:33Speaker 02

  Yeah, for hours on the Daily Mail. Or turning a crony's to the room. Fascinating.

• 8:41Speaker 01

  Pod research, pod research.

• 8:43Speaker 02

  So, because I'm in, um, uh, Phoenix, there, there's real cowboys here and there's a horse pole. What do you call it when you wrap up a horse?

• 8:57Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah, a lasso, a lasso.

• 9:00Speaker 02

  There's, there's a horse thing at the, at the, at the, um-

• 9:04Speaker 01

  Oh, fuck it. Do you just mean like a pole?

• 9:07Speaker 02

  There's a horse post at the time their horse is due. At the-

• 9:11Speaker 01

  Oh, a lasso, oh god.

• 9:13Speaker 02

  They have a horse, they have, they have a, they have a horse post at the Circle K for the cowboys. Isn't it? I'm, I'm here for five days and you know how suggestible I am. I'm gonna be in head to toe cowgirl gear within seven hours, I'd say.

• 9:27Speaker 01

  If you don't bring me back a pair of cool cowboy boots and Gigi, that's it.

• 9:30Speaker 02

  Look at the size of my forehead.

• 9:35Speaker 02

  The only feedback I get, the only feedback I get on traders is, wow, you're having a clue what's going on. And the other thing is, wow, the size of your forehead. I'm like, I, I know it's a bit, I don't know what you want me to do. I'm gonna have to get a fringe.

• 9:49Speaker 01

  Is your forehead my mole? Is that just, that's it now?

• 9:53Speaker 02

  Yes. Yes.

• 9:57Speaker 01

  Well, I've got a big welt on my face.

• 10:00Speaker 02

  What am I supposed to do? Fuck you, Joanne. Fuck you. I said, if you want.

• 10:08Speaker 01

  But you should. Joanne's gonna get me a mole removal voucher for Christmas.

• 10:14Speaker 02

  Imagine I said I was going to Korea for work and I came back with like a tiny forehead.

• 10:23Speaker 01

  You have a lovely forehead.

• 10:25Speaker 02

  I've a 12 head.

• 10:27Speaker 01

  No. I, T went to a party this weekend, right? And he was there, one of his friends that he really liked, and his friend has an older brother. And the older brother dared T to go up to the bar, and it was a very fancy party, to go up to the bar and ask for a vodka. So T went up to the bar, thinking it was hilarious, asking for a vodka, which is definitely going to circle back to the parents and they're going to be like, why is Vogues child going to the bar asking for vodka?

• 10:55Speaker 01

  He was like, what is vodka? I was like, not something you should be asking about.

• 10:59Speaker 02

  Did he get served?

• 11:01Speaker 01

  No, he did not get served.

• 11:03Speaker 02

  I wouldn't be surprised. He's really, he's grown into, he's a proper little boy now.

• 11:08Speaker 01

  He still looks about eight. They're not going to serve him quite yet. He's gonna have to do the dirty, the dirty work like we had to do and stand outside the off licence asking everybody to go in for you. Will he go in for me? Will he go in for me?

• 11:19Speaker 02

  And get ripped off by older men. Like, what was that about? Like, imagine taking money off, like, remember they wouldn't get, they'd keep the change? Who does that? I suppose the same kind of person who goes in and buys alcohol for nine year olds.

• 11:33Speaker 03

  That's the guy.

• 11:34Speaker 02

  Precisely. When I was in, so when I went to, when I did my gig in Salt Lake City, which is in the state of Utah, which is like the driest state in like the world, basically, I think it's pretty much up there with Saudi Arabia. And like I had to send, God, the, the woman who was running the green room, I got a drink for the show and I had to send it back. I was like, I'm gonna need. Cause they're just, they're, they're really tight with alcohol laws, but I, so I got, I was getting carded, as they say here. And of course I was thrilled, me and my 12 forehead's were thrilled with ourselves. Until I realised they were carding like men in their 80s and all, like, it's ridiculous. Like, it's just ridiculous.

• 12:16Speaker 01

  I'd still take the compliment if I was you.

• 12:17Speaker 02

  Sorry, anyway, I'm glad Theodore's on the booze.

• 12:21Speaker 01

  Bye, Dan.

• 12:21Speaker 02

  Give him me, give that one to me, I'll swap him for Otto.

• 12:26Speaker 01

  I know, Otto's been on the vodka since he was three. He's more your style.

• 12:32Speaker 02

  Party boys.

• 12:32Speaker 01

  I would actually like to point out before this gets made into a headline, that neither of my children have ever, well, none of them, all four have never had alcohol. So, there you go.

• 12:42Speaker 02

  No, Gigi is, Gigi is, Gigi, Gigi does like a bit of weed in the evenings though, let's be honest.

• 12:55Speaker 02

  She's an, she's a little spliff gal, isn't she?

• 12:59Speaker 01

  She's a gummy gal, she needs to bring back her gummies.

• 13:03Speaker 02

  I, I've had to go, I've stopped, I'm not, I haven't had a single edible since I've been here. I cannot wake up one more morning having eaten the entire minibar covered in Kit Kat wrappers.

• 13:14Speaker 02

  Just can't do it to myself anymore.

• 13:16Speaker 01

  No, no.

• 13:16Speaker 02

  The self-loathing is off the charts.

• 13:22Speaker 04

  We all have routines. I'm Jabran, and with diabetes, mine was finger sticks. Sometimes I skip them because they hurt. The Freestyle Libre 3 CGM changed that. It gives me glucose insights without finger sticks. Learn more at freestylelibre.us.

• 13:37Speaker 05

  Finger sticks are required if your glucose alarms or readings do not match symptoms, or when you see check blood glucose symbol for the first 12 hours. The views expressed should not be used for medical diagnosis or treatment as a substitute for professional medical advice. Individual circumstances may vary. For prescription only. Safety info found at freestylelibre.us.

• 13:54Speaker 01

  Hey, girls and Joe.

• 13:56Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 13:58Speaker 01

  I've just finished listening to the pod from the 23rd of September, where you read an email from a listener. Your advice was split, tell or don't tell the girlfriend and or wife. I practically screamed at the phone to please tell the wife. Here's why. I'll start the email by saying, I'm in a fantastic relationship now and loving life. There was a time when I listened to the pod that I needed to hear the end of emails to be sure the listener was now doing well, but with the interruptions, clarifications and tangents that sometimes took an age to still the listener out there that needs to hear it now, it'll be okay. Oh, no, no shade, I love the interruptions.

• 14:31Speaker 02

  Fine.

• 14:32Speaker 01

  You should try living in our brains. Honestly, it's really hard in here sometimes.

• 14:37Speaker 02

  I just interrupted a complaint about interruptions. Anyway, carry on, Vog.

• 14:44Speaker 01

  I actually, I can't bear, I started making pizza on the pan yesterday, I only had two slices of pizza left and I couldn't wait to get them. And of course I got distracted by something else that needed to be done. And I went down 10 minutes later and I was like, oh, burned to a crisp. Anyway.

• 15:00Speaker 02

  We're busy girls.

• 15:01Speaker 01

  I was in an 11 year relationship with a narcissistic cheater. He convinced early on in the relationship that for professional reasons, we work together, that we should keep the relationship quiet. And with an age gap of 12 years, I took the standard of maturity as a real turn on. While it was quiet, everyone knew. He was super secretive about his phone and while he didn't lose hoodies, every three months, I would notice him short on cash with no real explanation. I did come across very questionable texts from his best friend's wife early on in the relationship, but his excuses won my naive self over. And of course he got better at hiding his phone. All of this seems so obvious now in hindsight, but honestly, everything else about our relationship was lovely. I didn't want to ruin a good thing.

• 15:44Speaker 01

  I would have episodes by episode, I mean, weeks on end where I would become paranoid. I would read into every little behaviour tick, watch him look at his phone and even look out the window as he drove away to see what direction he'd go in. And my mind would wander. I switched pills on five occasions, explaining to my doctor that I was getting low or paranoid on them.

• 16:04Speaker 02

  Oh, no. Oh, that's so sad.

• 16:08Speaker 01

  I know, it's awful. The paranoia was intense. That's the thing that you don't realise that you're doing to somebody as well.

• 16:17Speaker 02

  But I think they do. I just don't think they care.

• 16:20Speaker 01

  I challenged him on a few occasions, but of course he is the master of gaslighting, so same old story there. I eventually got an opportunity to see his phone and of course there was photos of him and a woman in our bed. I lied and told him I found so much more. So I'll never know the full extent of how many or how often. A couple of years of therapy and a new relationship and I honestly feel amazing. Well done me for recovering from that nightmare. But one part I find hard is, where was my hey girl text? It would have validated my paranoia even after the fact. On one occasion, a packet of makeup wipes showed up in my makeup drawer, which didn't belong to me. My makeup would randomly move from time to time, which I now understood that he used

• 17:03Speaker 01

  to hide when he had company over and probably tried to put it back in the wrong place afterwards. I think this was the closest I got to someone trying to warn me. I'm a girl's girl, I love to be around my girls chatting for hours and love to support female colleagues and random females that have no reason to be knocked down. So please do tell the wife, even if she's not ready, even if she'll ignore you, even if she accuses you of meddling in her perfect life, someday she'll have the peace of mind knowing that someone tried to help her. I know I would have heard it at the time, wouldn't have heard it at that time, but I would hear it now and that matters. I feel as women dealing with this epidemic of fuckboys, that we should find a way to support one another and show this kind act of sisterhood. There you go.

• 17:41Speaker 02

  Okay, well I start corrected then.

• 17:44Speaker 02

  Now, I better, I better jump off, I have a lot of calls to make.

• 17:51Speaker 02

  Clear the day.

• 17:54Speaker 02

  If we're, if we're telling the wives.

• 17:57Speaker 01

  I, I see a girl sometimes that slept with an ex-partner of mine and I see her at events sometimes and like, she knows I know. Do you know what I mean?

• 18:07Speaker 02

  I know, listen.

• 18:09Speaker 01

  Sometimes I get it in me to be like, I'd love to say something. Yeah, I know, but I'd love to just go up and say, would you like if your partner did that to you now? I know exactly what you did, but then I'm like, but I don't really care.

• 18:19Speaker 02

  Is there any point?

• 18:20Speaker 01

  Well, I'm off. Are you off? We're all off. That was lovely. I've enjoyed myself thoroughly.

• 18:25Speaker 02

  Anyone in America or Canada, sorry, I totally forgot to plug Canada. I have Vancouver and Toronto. There he is, the little alcoholic. Hey Theodore.

• 18:40Speaker 01

  He's actually come up with his.

• 18:41Speaker 02

  Coming to get money for buzz balls.

• 18:42Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 18:44Speaker 01

  Just wanted a smoke, actually.

• 18:47Speaker 03

  Good God.

• 18:48Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 18:50Speaker 02

  He's like, mommy, Gigi's stoned again.

• 18:54Speaker 01

  She's just sleeping on the couch, mommy. And she's covered in crisp packets.

• 18:58Speaker 02

  Yeah, eating cereal, watching Jerry Springer.

• 19:07Speaker 00

  This has been a global production.