MTGM EXTRA! "Questioning my sexuality..."

This weeks emailer doesn't know what he wants... Maybe Vogue & Joanne can help? Tickets for Joanne's tour Pinotphile are now LIVE: www.joannemcnally.com If you’d like to get in touch, you can send an email to [email protected] Please review Global's Privacy Policy: https://global.com/legal/privacy-policy/ For merch, tour dates and more visit: www.mytherapistghostedme.com This episode contains explicit language and adult themes that may not be suitable for all listeners.

• 0:00Speaker 00

  Observe. The North American Dad. 50s. Great polo collection. He enters his vehicle information on Carvana. An offer appears in minutes. Remarkable. He squints, reads it again, smiles and says, dang, that's a good offer. The highest form of approval. No haggling, no hassle. No one called him boss. He's still on the couch. Astonishing. Sell your car today on carvana.com. Pickup fees may apply.

• 0:32Speaker 01

  This is a Global Player original podcast.

• 0:40Speaker 02

  Hello and welcome to the bonus episode of My Therapist Ghosted Me with me, Vogue Williams, and with the most forgetful woman in all of the land, not just Ireland, England, maybe the whole world, Joanne McNally.

• 0:55Speaker 03

  And North America, I would say.

• 0:57Speaker 02

  Every continent, I would say.

• 0:58Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 0:59Speaker 02

  So we are, we really have to not talk over each other today because Joanne has not only no mic, but also she thought today, do you know what? Fuck it. I'm not going to take headphones either. So we've no mic and no headphones.

• 1:13Speaker 04

  I'm ADHD now. I'm disabled. Nothing is my fault anymore. I'm disabled in the mind. It's official. I can't even be blamed for this. It's just part of my condition, Jo.

• 1:25Speaker 03

  Okay. In which case I apologized. I apologize to you.

• 1:28Speaker 04

  Thank you.

• 1:29Speaker 03

  That you don't have your microphone in the headphones.

• 1:30Speaker 04

  Thank you. And you two should be delighted I'm here for diversity, frankly.

• 1:35Speaker 03

  Which we are.

• 1:36Speaker 02

  We are, but Jo, we're bullying. She's going to go to Global H R and say, those two are bullying me because of my condition.

• 1:44Speaker 03

  I'm fucked, mate. I'm sacked. I'm gone.

• 1:47Speaker 04

  The worst thing to happen to me was that psychiatrist giving me a diagnosis. I've never leaned on anything more.

• 1:53Speaker 02

  I think you, I think you've gotten worse since she started the meds. I think the meds are actually making her worse.

• 1:58Speaker 04

  Well, no, because I don't take the meds. I take them.

• 2:01Speaker 02

  Oh, you should lose the prescription.

• 2:03Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's all that jazz. I mean, it's classic. Yes, yes, I've no mic and no headphones, but I'm, but I'm here and that's the main thing. Okay.

• 2:13Speaker 02

  We're surprised you're here, to be honest with you. I know you were on the absolute lash last night after your first show in Dublin.

• 2:19Speaker 04

  I was. I, I'm, I'm in the Leinster hotel and we came back last night and.

• 2:26Speaker 04

  There, well, I don't know, I lost count, the tiny fancy martinis, which is basically just pure booze.

• 2:33Speaker 02

  Yeah. I'll describe the scene here for you. Joanne's like right up close to the camera. She has last night's makeup on. Definitely hasn't put a brush through the hair yet. Eyes are very red. Still got some of the salmon cheese.

• 2:48Speaker 03

  Also locked herself out of the hotel room just before the record that she was late because she'd lost her hotel key.

• 2:53Speaker 04

  Yeah. And why, why did all those things happen to me?

• 2:56Speaker 02

  You know, that's a great saying for Joanne. You're your own worst enemy, isn't it? Suits her perfectly.

• 3:02Speaker 03

  Oh, she just disconnected there for a bit because the internet is also shit. You have ADHD, Joanne, and it means it's not your fault.

• 3:08Speaker 04

  Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. What's my fault? I'm no longer accountable for anything. I'm due to go to Paris with a friend in December. And she has a quid pro quo. I said, I can't book. Ross.

• 3:25Speaker 02

  Forget it. I haven't been told about this.

• 3:29Speaker 04

  I have ADHD now. I can't be held, I can't book anything. So it's all up to you, pal. Yeah. It's great. I'm delighted with the outcome.

• 3:35Speaker 02

  An unusual choice for you.

• 3:36Speaker 04

  I don't know. He wants to have the fucking Eurotunnel thing. I was like, I'm telling you now, it doesn't go into the sea. I found that out the hard way, but whatever.

• 3:44Speaker 02

  It does go into the sea.

• 3:45Speaker 04

  You can't see the fish. Sorry, it does. It's, sorry, yeah, it does. But you can't see, and you can't see the octopuses or anything like that. I said that to him, but I know he's determined.

• 3:53Speaker 02

  I mean, it would be kind of dark and dangerous. Come here to me. Spenny started a challenge today. He went and swam in the Thames for an hour and a half this morning at 6am. And I was thinking, imagine what's lurking in there. Like, oh, there's probably full, oh, just dead animals, badgers. I once saw a badger in, in the Thames. And like, it was along the canal. So like, I used to go for a walk along the canal every day. There for about six weeks and it just kept getting more and more bloated until I assume it burst one day and I just never saw it again.

• 4:22Speaker 04

  Sorry, what? He saw a badger explode in the Thames?

• 4:27Speaker 02

  No, I used to walk Winnie over when I lived by Victoria Park.

• 4:31Speaker 04

  You need to break this down.

• 4:33Speaker 02

  I lived by a canal and I used to walk Winnie along the canal and one day I spotted something in the canal. I was like, what the fuck is that? A dead badger. Obviously it had fallen in and succumbed to the water. And the dead badger, yes. And for weeks and weeks and weeks.

• 4:47Speaker 04

  He didn't mention he was dead at the start of that story. He said he was just put on weight.

• 4:50Speaker 02

  Well, he's hardly alive in the...

• 4:51Speaker 04

  I have to say, I find this pivot in Spencer's character and life attractive. Watch yourself, Vogue. I have ADHD. I could do anything.

• 5:05Speaker 02

  If he does, because he has a two, he got diagnosed, he has a two. Can you imagine the two of them living together?

• 5:10Speaker 04

  The trauma bond would be out of control.

• 5:13Speaker 02

  Can I stay though? I'd like to still be there and we can just take like...

• 5:17Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah. We need someone to make bed and all. We need someone to run the house. Because it's certainly not going to be us.

• 5:23Speaker 02

  Yeah, all in the house.

• 5:25Speaker 04

  Yeah, and raise the kids and all. So the marriage won't last long, if that's any consolation. Trust me.

• 5:31Speaker 02

  Well, that's what I've said about mine and Spencer's. And eight years in, we're still going strong.

• 5:34Speaker 04

  Did they say that? People are so mean, aren't they?

• 5:36Speaker 02

  I heard one recently that, um, I was just, this, this, well, it was actually, I don't know, it might go in the papers today. I'm not sure. Cause we just basically, they give you a right to respond sometimes. And like, like, so we do. And so we're like, well, that's complete bullshit. So the story was, it might come out today. I'm not sure if that, because it's so ridiculous. I'm not sure if it will. The story was that we are, our friends, a friend, a source, a friend of the couple said, and I know it was you, John, you dirty bitch, um, said that Spencer, said that Spencer and Vogue are...

• 6:12Speaker 04

  I don't remember. Yeah, go on. What do I say?

• 6:15Speaker 02

  Spencer and Vogue are headed for a breakup because they're spending so much time apart. And I can only assume it was because he wasn't in my content for Afrik, um, because he came up on the, on the Saturday. But I'm like, and maybe it's because he's going away as well on, on his thing for three weeks. But I'm like, can we not spend like, it's any time apart? Do we have to be sewn together now that we're, to show that we're a united front?

• 6:43Speaker 04

  I'll say this, firstly, the clickbaity, the thirst for clickbait shit is, I was only looking, I was gonna post it and then I was like, Joanne, I think you are still a little tipsy from last night's, so don't. There was an article titled, Is Lillian the Most Mortifying Mother in the World? And, I know, and it was all about like, the fact that she's singing about butt plugs. I was like, oh, so I'm sorry, so female artists can't mind their life? Like, because you're a mother, suddenly you can't talk, you know, me and you, we always have these conversations about what's acceptable, what's not. But my point is, if I read an article about you and Spencer breaking up, even though you're one of my best friends and I have the inside scoop, I'd probably read it and be like, oh my god.

• 7:29Speaker 02

  I know, I know, but I read, there's certain things that I read, I read something recently because there's been rumours flying around about me going places. And I read something and it was like, how could she go away and leave her children? And it's like, I wonder, like, do men ever get that? Like, if I, like, remember I went on tour with you and people were like, oh, how could she go away and leave her children? Because like, I'm a human being outside of being a mother. Like, it doesn't mean that I can't go and do something that I want to do. You can be damn sure my kids are really well looked after, but like, it's like, it's like you can only be one thing. And the worst part about it is, it's usually women saying it. And I'm like, just don't say that, because like, we should be allowed go and work. And like, like, you don't need to concern yourself with how other people's children are.

• 8:13Speaker 02

  Like, you can be a working mom and also be a great mom. And it's just, there should be no shade around that, just annoying. And I know something about Lillian, and it's not anything dark, but I know something to prove that she is a fucking great mother, who works, a great working mother. It's really random of me to say that, but like, I just, I heard the essay and I was like,

• 8:34Speaker 02

  that's so nice of her, that she like, they're always, it made me think they're always on the forefront of her mind. Wherever she's going, whatever she's doing, she's always making sure that they're there and happy and stuff like that. So, back off!

• 8:48Speaker 04

  Nothing pisses me off more than faux feminism, fake feminism.

• 8:55Speaker 04

  And it's, it's a real issue.

• 8:58Speaker 02

  And fake, and fake worry as well. It's like, I also read this thing yesterday and I nearly responded to it and I was like, don't respond because then it looks like, because then they'll know you've seen it. Because it was on an article I saw about me, but it was on Instagram and I looked at the comments and this girl was like, oh, I think, like said one thing and then she goes, but I really don't like her. And then someone else goes, why? Have you ever met her? And she goes, yeah, I have actually. And I looked at her profile, I'm like, you've never fucking met me. I've never seen you before in my life. You're foolish. And I nearly wrote back, I really, when did we meet? Because I've never seen you before.

• 9:31Speaker 04

  I think you should, you know. Sometimes I'm like, let's fuck shit up. We're very, sometimes like, get involved.

• 9:38Speaker 02

  I felt very Selena Gomez, you know, the way she sometimes does that. I was like, what'd I do with Selena? Hello, I've never met you before.

• 9:45Speaker 04

  Yeah. Send me the deets. Can I have the deets of our meeting?

• 9:49Speaker 02

  When? Yeah. Imagine she wrote back this perfect description and I'd be like, oh, yes, I don't have a great memory.

• 9:58Speaker 04

  Electric picnic, 2019. You're like, oh shit, it's you, her and the Coronas.

• 10:06Speaker 02

  No one's their best self at electric picnic, that's all I'm gonna say.

• 10:10Speaker 04

  A hundred.

• 10:14Speaker 05

  You're listening to a quick ad. You know what else is quick? Selling your car on Carvana. Just put in your vehicle information and we'll give you an offer. Done. No hassle, no negotiation, no guy from an online listing lowballing you. Which means by the time I'm done explaining this, you could have basically done it.

• 10:38Speaker 05

  Still haven't started? Hey, better late than ever. Sell your car today on Carvana. Pickup fees may apply.

• 10:51Speaker 04

  David Attenborough is alive.

• 10:53Speaker 02

  Yeah, Joanne's just come on and told Joe and I he was dead because she got the news from Reddit.

• 10:58Speaker 04

  Something came up in a Reddit thread and I...

• 11:00Speaker 02

  Christ alive.

• 11:01Speaker 04

  I'm on, I'm on the edge and I, David, if you're listening.

• 11:07Speaker 04

  I'm a big fan of you and animals, but I am, I feel like he's like the father. He's like the only kind of responsible one left and I, and he's 99 and I guess I, I'm on, I'm kind of waiting, which is terrible. He could have another 20 years in him with science. Put him in a tube, keep him going. Freeze him like a man. What?

• 11:28Speaker 02

  Clone him, clone him. He needs to be cloned. That's the only exception. There's an exception and it's David Attenborough. Get it done.

• 11:35Speaker 04

  That's such a good idea.

• 11:36Speaker 02

  Yeah. Questions about my sexuality.

• 11:41Speaker 02

  Hi, Joanne Vogue. And do you know what? I, I actually have never questioned mine, which I found like, it's a bit boring.

• 11:48Speaker 04

  Me and Vogue have a mutual friend and she told me I am the straightest woman she's ever met in her life. And she says, sometimes I walk, she says, you don't walk like you're trying to attract men, you walk like you're trying to repel them.

• 12:02Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 12:04Speaker 04

  Oh yeah. I think we are turbo straight. Turbo straight, yeah.

• 12:09Speaker 02

  Okay. Hi, Joanne Vogue and Jo. I've been listening to your podcast for ages now and I've become obsessed with it. I recently started listening through all the episodes again from the start. I would hi- highly recommend to do this to all listeners. It's even more gas the second time around. I would hate to have to do that. I wouldn't like to know anything I've said in the past.

• 12:27Speaker 04

  No, can't really, no.

• 12:28Speaker 02

  I can't even listen to us. So like, I have to listen back to our pods. And if I'm in any way in a bad mood, I'll listen to it and I'll, I'll just ring Luis and I was like, are we dickheads? Do we sound like dickheads? Cause I think that we're dickheads. And she's like, I think you're in a bad mood. And then I could start listening to it again the next day. I'm like, okay, I wasn't a bad mood.

• 12:44Speaker 04

  Well, I, as we know, I,

• 12:46Speaker 02

  I love us again.

• 12:47Speaker 04

  There's three times I've listened to this podcast back and all three, it didn't work well. It didn't work out well for anyone involved, really. I talked to the,

• 12:55Speaker 02

  No, none of us enjoyed it.

• 12:56Speaker 04

  He was on the show directly about the edit. Yeah. So I've decided it's just better.

• 13:00Speaker 02

  Yeah. Okay. I am a gay man who's happily in a relationship. I love my boyfriend with all my heart. He's given me faith in men again after many dickheads. Yes, gay men are as bad as straight men, possibly worse. But my dilemma today is with my sexuality. Since puberty hit, I've been attracted to men. I hid my sexuality until I was 18 and I finally came out. Being from rural Ireland and a very Catholic family, this was a massive deal. The whole situation set me into a deep depression, oh God, which still haunts me to this day. And I've had such intense shame over my sexuality for years. Oh, my family have been outstanding throughout all of this and are very welcoming to my now boyfriend.

• 13:42Speaker 02

  However, recently I've been having intense urges to be with a woman. I have never so much as touched a fanny.

• 13:51Speaker 04

  Fair play.

• 13:52Speaker 02

  So I don't know where this has come from. Platinum gay. A night out, I've always been approached by women and not men, as I get told, I come off a straight passing. And never in the past have I been tempted by getting off, getting with any of the women that approached me. But now that's all changing. During the night, I'm having intense vivid sex dreams about going down on a woman. I have always seen myself as a gay man, but I've been having such sexual urges towards women constantly now. I really wouldn't want to go down in a woman and I think all women are gorgeous, every part of you, but I just don't want to go down there.

• 14:27Speaker 04

  Well, remember I had the dream that I was going down on Gemma Collins?

• 14:34Speaker 02

  Well, I had that dream about Brandon Courtney.

• 14:36Speaker 04

  Did you say you dreamt you were going down on Brandon Courtney?

• 14:39Speaker 02

  No, I wasn't going down on him, but I was massaging him in the bath. Do you not remember?

• 14:50Speaker 04

  You're so frigid, Vogue. Just go down on him, will you?

• 15:01Speaker 02

  I think I saw him in his little budgie smokehouse when he was away on holidays with you and it got me going.

• 15:07Speaker 04

  I love when, but I get a call from Vogue and I just hear the splash, there's just gentle splashing and I'm like, are you ringing me from the bath again?

• 15:17Speaker 02

  I ring people from the shower and they're like, why is it echoey? I'm like, oh, I'm in the shower.

• 15:22Speaker 04

  Do you remember when Winnie, when he was losing his mind, he used to follow you into the shower, do you remember? God love him.

• 15:27Speaker 02

  Oh, Winnie.

• 15:28Speaker 04

  I know. You're wet and mad.

• 15:31Speaker 02

  Okay, I feel intense guilt over this as I love my boyfriend so much, but I just feel there's a part of me that's urging to explore my sexuality once again. I feel dirty and even guilty thinking about this as it feels like I'm cheating in my dreams and thoughts. Do you think it's a case of curiosity that's fueling this? Or is it some fucked up Catholic guilt coming back to haunt me? Have you or Vogue ever had sex dreams about women or Joe about men? Love you and thank you for the two episodes of the pod every week, genuine highlight. I, I think that's completely normal.

• 16:03Speaker 04

  I'm jealous of your libido because I am dead from the waist down at the moment. I'd love to be dreaming about going down on anyone, to be honest. I need to have my, like, genitals resuscitated at this point. So I am genuinely envious of this guy who wants to ride everyone. I think this is fantastic. Honestly.

• 16:22Speaker 02

  Well, on the 9th of December, on the 9th of December, you'll be back to yourself.

• 16:28Speaker 04

  Oh, Marcus, Marcus, I forgot about that day. Yeah, Marcus on the 9th.

• 16:34Speaker 04

  Hopefully you never listen to a single after this podcast. I'd say I'll be getting a quick discreet cancellation.

• 16:41Speaker 02

  Dead from the waist down. Marcus has gone off.

• 16:47Speaker 02

  Um, I, I don't know. I think that that's completely normal. Um, and I think that you, like, like, I mean, it's difficult for you not to maybe give it a go. But like, if you're in a relationship, I wouldn't suggest doing that when you're in a relationship. But is it something that's going to go away? I'd give it a few months, see if it persists and then, uh, and then see what you could do.

• 17:09Speaker 04

  Women are hot. Scratch that itch.

• 17:11Speaker 02

  Women are hot and they're so nice as well.

• 17:13Speaker 04

  Scratch that itch. I'm so jealous you even have an itch to scratch. Ride everyone. What's this lad's name?

• 17:22Speaker 02

  Oh, he didn't give his name for obvious reasons. Christ, that sounded bitchy, didn't it?

• 17:28Speaker 04

  What?

• 17:29Speaker 02

  When I said he didn't give his name for obvious reasons, that just sounded really bitchy.

• 17:33Speaker 04

  Well, he's kind of probably, because he's in a relationship. But honestly, also, I know, I know, I know, in Vogue, we share these friends. I know men living straight lives who were absolutely bi.

• 17:48Speaker 02

  Mm hmm. Yeah.

• 17:49Speaker 04

  Do you know what I mean? I know men who are.

• 17:52Speaker 04

  Identifying as a straight husband with children who are absolutely riding lads on the side, a hundred percent. So of course it goes, it goes both ways.

• 18:04Speaker 02

  Yeah, God, I never even thought of it. That, yeah, that is very true.

• 18:07Speaker 04

  And the beauty, so fucking true. And the beauty of modern life is there, there are no boxes anymore. There's no lanes. Do what you want. You know what I mean? I couldn't be more thrilled for this guy. What a journey he's about to go on.

• 18:21Speaker 02

  Well, we hope that that journey goes well.

• 18:23Speaker 04

  DM me. He sounds, he sounds perfect for me. I want a straight game on as a partner. I think that would be a really good fit for me.

• 18:30Speaker 03

  To very quickly answer the part of the question that was directed at me, no, I haven't had dreams like that. Uh, but that's, that's just, that's just life.

• 18:39Speaker 02

  He just wags off men in real life. What?

• 18:44Speaker 04

  You're not sleeping long enough, Pop.

• 18:45Speaker 03

  I knew there was no way through that. Time for the end of the podcast.

• 18:49Speaker 04

  Took the intro. You ever, you ever took kind of tuck it back? Would you be, do you ever tuck it in?

• 18:55Speaker 03

  No, never, not, not, no, never felt.

• 18:58Speaker 02

  You've never done that where you turn it into a vagina?

• 19:00Speaker 04

  No, watch out.

• 19:01Speaker 02

  You've never turned it into a vagina?

• 19:03Speaker 04

  I think, me and Vokes spill our guts on this thing and you don't, you don't bring honesty or authenticity to this podcast.

• 19:12Speaker 03

  All of what I've said is honest and I try to be authentic as possible.

• 19:16Speaker 04

  You've never tucked your penis in between your legs?

• 19:20Speaker 03

  Well, probably at some point in life.

• 19:21Speaker 04

  There you go.

• 19:22Speaker 02

  Ah, we knew it. We knew it.

• 19:26Speaker 03

  I imagine that's probably.

• 19:27Speaker 04

  Can't breathe the lies, Joe. Lies.

• 19:30Speaker 03

  Fine. Well, there we are.

• 19:31Speaker 04

  I'd be felt, if I'd been as I'd be felt in it in left, right and centre just to see different where it looks.

• 19:36Speaker 02

  Jesus, just gonna talk about her origami now, folding it in. Jesus Christ.

• 19:41Speaker 04

  Remember that guy, you love that folk?

• 19:44Speaker 02

  Folded it.

• 19:46Speaker 04

  Holds in like an origami.

• 19:46Speaker 02

  When did you say that? She was like, I had to fold it. I had to fold.

• 19:51Speaker 04

  When I wanted a rich fella, it's like, I don't care if he's impotent, so I'll fold it in like an origami master. Yeah.

• 19:58Speaker 04

  My memory, Vokes.

• 20:08Speaker 06

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• 20:52Speaker 06

  Hey, have you always been so big, tall, and handsome? Not always. I was 6'10" once. Seven days to love it or return it, Mr. Shaq. Not that I would. You never do. No, I never do. So buy your car today on Carvana. Delivery fees may apply. See our seven-day return policy at carvana.com.

• 21:10Speaker 00

  This has been a Global Player original production. Observe. The North American Dad. 50s. Great polo collection. He enters his vehicle information on Carvana. An offer appears in minutes. Remarkable. He squints, reads it again, smiles, and says, "Dang, that's a good offer." The highest form of approval. No haggling, no hassle. No one called him "boss." He's still on the couch. Astonishing. Sell your car today on carvana.com. Pickup fees may apply.