MTGM EXTRA! "My Mum is quite judgemental..."

Just to flag for your emotional wellbeing... Vogue says Winnie isn't well. Oh nooo! On a brighter note, Joanne has straight, attractive men in attendance at her shows which NOBODY predicted. What's going ON!? Tickets for Joanne's tour Pinotphile are now LIVE: www.joannemcnally.com If you’d like to get in touch, you can send an email to [email protected] Please review Global's Privacy Policy: https://global.com/legal/privacy-policy/ For merch, tour dates and more visit: www.mytherapistghostedme.com This episode contains explicit language and adult themes that may not be suitable for all listeners.

• 0:02Speaker 00

  This is a Global Player original podcast.

• 0:10Speaker 01

  Hello, welcome to my third guest with me, with me, Joanne McNally and her.

• 0:15Speaker 02

  I actually can't hear you because I've knocked off my headphones, so thank you. I'm lip reading, which I'm actually quite good at because of the bad hearing. Vogue Williams.

• 0:23Speaker 01

  There you go. Yeah, Vogue Williams. And our, and our carer, Jo Attywell.

• 0:31Speaker 03

  Someone needs to have me in at some point because you two are now visibly younger than I am and it's getting unacceptable.

• 0:36Speaker 02

  Jo, you have a child and you're very tired, so we, we can't really help with that because when, in a couple of months, when the baby feels better, we'll get you a facial, but it would only be wasted on you now. You'll still look wrecked.

• 0:48Speaker 01

  Jo, I can tell you now, I know there are not a lot of perks to working with Vogue and I, but if there's one thing we can offer, it's facial aesthetics connections.

• 0:56Speaker 02

  It's new face. It's new face.

• 0:58Speaker 01

  That is one thing we have in abundance. Yeah, we basically, we're basically running hospitals out here between the two of us. Aren't we?

• 1:07Speaker 03

  And we.

• 1:08Speaker 02

  Yeah. And Joanne likes to test drive everything, so I let her test drive something in case her face falls off. And then if it doesn't fall off, I'll head in after.

• 1:16Speaker 01

  Well, there was, there was a really interesting article recently in The Cut and all about kind of the quality of facelifts now and how they're saying like even doctors who aren't that good at lifting faces are getting really good results because there's all this new technology and new machines and everything. But anyway, because I'm going to be going to Australia later on in the year and a friend of mine was also going to Australia and we were like, would we nip into South Korea on the way home?

• 1:44Speaker 01

  And get a little, get a little, get a little.

• 1:48Speaker 02

  Joanne would come back, you need to get a new passport.

• 1:51Speaker 01

  I was like, I, I, my, my.

• 1:57Speaker 02

  I'm sorry, ma'am, you can't fly on this. Why not?

• 1:59Speaker 01

  I hope they turn me into a tiny South Korean woman. That would be my dream.

• 2:02Speaker 02

  If I could just be bronzed, just about the bronze for me.

• 2:07Speaker 02

  Well, I know, I know, but I'm always wearing pigtails, but if I could just be naturally bronzed.

• 2:10Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Not white, basically, yeah. We do age the worst.

• 2:18Speaker 02

  We do, we rot. We don't, all we do is, we're born and we rot and it takes, it's very difficult for us to keep stuff up because the rotting is so intense.

• 2:27Speaker 01

  Yeah, they used to say it in Prosecco Express, it's the punishment for the privilege.

• 2:32Speaker 01

  We age in dog ears. Yeah, hideous because we're completely translucent.

• 2:37Speaker 02

  Oh, my God, poor Winnie. We were laughing about him on the pod last week. He's not, oh, poor Winnie. I know, he's not great. He's not great. And Amber, of course, right, we used to have this cat called Monkey and Amber rarely pet Monkey. And when she did pet Monkey, she was like, oh, Jesus, we have to take her to the vet. All her bones are sticking out of her back. And so we bring Monkey to the vet and Amber was like, we understand, we know you have to put her down. And the vet just looked at Amber and was like, it's actually, it's, it's just matted fur, so I'll just shave it off. So Amber.

• 3:09Speaker 01

  What?

• 3:10Speaker 02

  So it was just matted fur. Amber thought her bones were sticking out and wanted to put down.

• 3:14Speaker 01

  I already have some questions about the monkey story. Was this a family cat or is this recently?

• 3:21Speaker 02

  No, this was our family cat. This is the cat that Frederick had. And she lived to many, many years, but she didn't need to put her down when Amber suggested it. But Winston hasn't been well and I had him in the vet this week and he had to stay a couple of nights. And he's back now, but like, he's not really eating. He's just gone, I know, I've been crying loads, but he's all right now and he's, and he's back and he's not really eating. So Amber's obviously been over this weekend and he's, he's been like sedated and stuff in the vet, so he's a little bit slower. She's gone home and I get a text from Neil and it's like, he's basically telling me to put Winnie down as well. I'm like, what the hell? Has she gone to say, I was like, I'm not going to keep him alive for my own benefit, but I'm not going to put him down because Amber thinks he's moving too slowly.

• 4:03Speaker 01

  She's like, she's like the antithesis of David Attenborough. She's like the, the complete polar opposite of David Attenborough. She's like, the second an animal sneezes, she's like, put it down. Yeah. Get rid of the animals.

• 4:16Speaker 02

  Neil said.

• 4:18Speaker 02

  He said, he said, I hate to bring up the subject because I know how upsetting it is for you and the kids. Unfortunately, I think poor Winston is coming to end of his time. Sorry Neil, when did you last see Winston?

• 4:30Speaker 02

  I'm so sorry to be saying this and it's, and it's very distressing. We have to show selfless, selfless love. So I'm gonna ring Amber now and give her a bollocking. She'll have me put down next.

• 4:42Speaker 01

  I was gonna say, it sounds like Neil would have you put down.

• 4:46Speaker 02

  They nearly had me off when I had that flu. They were sending me to Switzerland.

• 4:49Speaker 01

  Yeah. Spanny getting a text going, sorry now Spencer, it's time to show some selfless love.

• 4:56Speaker 02

  Get rid of Bert.

• 4:58Speaker 01

  She's not gonna recover from this well, you know.

• 5:03Speaker 01

  It's really hard losing a pet. I know he's still with us, but it is really hard losing a pet.

• 5:09Speaker 02

  It is. It's gonna, honestly, it's gonna, I feel bad. I feel bad for Span. I am gonna, it's not gonna be good. Even Bertie was like, where's Winnie? Who am I gonna annoy when he was gone off in the vets for a couple of days?

• 5:20Speaker 03

  If he does go, we'll add a, we'll add a minute silence at the end of one of the podcasts in his memory if he does go.

• 5:27Speaker 01

  Or we can replay that coughing video. Is that too dark?

• 5:31Speaker 03

  Yeah, probably a bit.

• 5:33Speaker 02

  I actually got a vid for when, before he went into the vet to show how bad he was so we could just overlay some nice music to that and offer a minute silence.

• 5:41Speaker 01

  This is, the tax of love is the pain of loss.

• 5:44Speaker 02

  Honestly, I, but like, I was honestly thinking to myself, I was like, I'm not getting another dog after this. I am not. Touch wood, like Winnie, like he might, he's on steroids now. I'm giving him all I can. But I just, I think, honestly, I don't think, I think I'll be so upset by this that I think I'll have to, I don't want another dog.

• 6:01Speaker 01

  No. Yeah. I, yeah, I understand it. That's the way I feel about relationships and parents. I wish I had none of them. I wish I'd never had any parents. I wish I'd just been spat into the earth alone.

• 6:14Speaker 02

  Alone, there's less, there's less to lose.

• 6:16Speaker 01

  I never want to be in love again. I can't bear losing it all. It's awful. A fish, I could probably cope with, I could, I could, at this stage of my life now, a fish. Or a child, because I know I'd go first.

• 6:28Speaker 02

  Fine.

• 6:29Speaker 01

  So I'd be like, ha, I'd give birth and I'd be like, ha, psych.

• 6:32Speaker 02

  See you later.

• 6:33Speaker 01

  Yeah, you're it. And then I'd be like, you're gonna have to deal with losing me now, which would be nice.

• 6:38Speaker 02

  I know, but I was thinking that because I was like, imagine I had another child. So if I did that, what age would I be in? And then I'm like, oh my God, I'd be like, I'd be on the way out pretty, pretty early in my life. Because like, we're lucky, my mom is, well, she's in her seventies, I suppose.

• 6:51Speaker 01

  Yeah, but there's, everything's different now. Society has changed. And people live longer. And people are having babies longer, or sorry, later in life, because women are prioritising their career. And then women are having a lot of children out of wedlock because women aren't settling to just get married to someone. Because we have more financial independence. It's a whole vibe.

• 7:08Speaker 02

  Hmm, it is.

• 7:10Speaker 01

  Geriatric, we're cool.

• 7:11Speaker 02

  Yeah, I got my ex checked the other day and she actually said to me, she was like, oh, you've got young ovaries. And, yeah, and I was double dropping again. Remember I was double dropping the whole time? Maybe you're right.

• 7:23Speaker 01

  Sorry, no, there's no maybe. This is, so you've been, so medically tested, I've been proven correct medically.

• 7:30Speaker 02

  Twice, yeah.

• 7:30Speaker 01

  So I am right, just to clarify. Yeah, thank you.

• 7:34Speaker 02

  But the thing about it is the ovaries aren't old. So, and I think that that's to do with if you, if you, I don't know if it's true. If there's a doctor listening, they're probably like, here they bloody go again. I think if you get your period later, would that not suggest that you would, do you know what I mean? Because remember I was hanging around for my period for so many years?

• 7:50Speaker 01

  Oh, it could be, because you're like a slow start.

• 7:54Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 7:54Speaker 01

  So you get more out of it. Yeah, that could be it. Maybe, I don't know.

• 7:59Speaker 02

  I don't know. Anyway.

• 8:00Speaker 01

  Anyway, good luck on your journey.

• 8:02Speaker 02

  Thank you very much.

• 8:06Speaker 02

  Anything to add, Jo?

• 8:07Speaker 01

  I look forward to being wildly irritated by your next pregnancy.

• 8:14Speaker 02

  Joanna will hang up the next time, she'll be like, we'll be like, let's call a special moment, Jo. Joanna will be like, fuck this.

• 8:19Speaker 01

  I'm out. I'll come back to the podcast when it's out.

• 8:24Speaker 01

  I was doing, I'm on the road, as we know, and I was doing a show in Bournemouth last night. And there was three very attractive, straight men in the front row. And me and Garode were desperately trying to figure out how, why, what they were doing there. And I think one of them fancied me.

• 8:46Speaker 02

  Really?

• 8:47Speaker 03

  Statistically, it's fairly likely.

• 8:48Speaker 01

  I think, I think, I think one of them did, and now after the show, obviously does no longer.

• 8:56Speaker 01

  There's no way that crush will stay, obviously.

• 8:59Speaker 02

  You frightened it out of him. Oh gee, oh fuck, she's intense.

• 9:03Speaker 01

  Yeah. He's like, oh, I thought that was all an act.

• 9:08Speaker 01

  Yeah, I think I should, if I see a hot man in the audience like that again, I'm just gonna do an air of spoken word. I'm just, I'm just gonna try and, I'm just gonna really try and rein it all in.

• 9:16Speaker 02

  Or ask him to leave and say you'll meet him after.

• 9:19Speaker 01

  Garode said that he spent his first five minutes of a set dedicating it directly to them.

• 9:25Speaker 02

  Really?

• 9:25Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 9:26Speaker 02

  And so do they just disappear after? I think you should, and if that happens again, now you know, just say, listen, you're gonna actually have to leave. But if you wait at the side entrance, I'll be out five minutes after the show and you can pop in for a drink.

• 9:37Speaker 01

  Yeah, or maybe I'll go into the crowd like one of those cruise singers, since like, sit in their lap, you know.

• 9:42Speaker 02

  What's her name that everyone loves?

• 9:44Speaker 01

  Jane, Jane McDonald.

• 9:45Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 9:47Speaker 02

  Cruising with Jane McDonald.

• 9:50Speaker 01

  Do you know what I was, I don't know if this will ever happen, but there was, I was offered a job on a sex cruise. I said yes.

• 9:57Speaker 02

  This can be my present.

• 9:59Speaker 01

  Oh, great. Yeah, I said yes, but it's not till this summer, I think. But I don't know if, I never, it never came back. These jobs, sometimes jobs come in and you never hear anything about them again. But I was like, it would be an honour and a privilege. I was seeing a guy at the time when I was offered the job and he said, can I go? And I was like, I wouldn't see you from one end of the cruise to the next, you absolute feral dog. No. You can come back.

• 10:21Speaker 01

  They'll smell the frigid.

• 10:23Speaker 02

  They'll smell the.

• 10:25Speaker 02

  And if I'm not, I might get myself pregnant on the ship.

• 10:28Speaker 01

  Yeah. And then I'll, and then they'll be like, right, well, we'll take the one that's not pregnant. So I'm like, thanks, guys. See you later, bro.

• 10:34Speaker 01

  As I head off.

• 10:35Speaker 02

  I'll have you know, there is pregnancy kinks. Thank you very much. I'm not pregnant, by the way. It sounds like I'm pregnant.

• 10:40Speaker 01

  No, I know. You're not pregnant.

• 10:40Speaker 02

  I'm not pregnant.

• 10:42Speaker 01

  There is pregnancy kinks. Yeah, of course there is. There's kinks for everything.

• 10:46Speaker 02

  I know. There really is. Oh, my God. That would bring us so much joy. That would get weeks of content for us. You could just like, you could just drop some in every so often.

• 10:54Speaker 01

  I, do you know what? I'm actually gonna go back now and I'm going to follow up on that and find out what's happening with that. Because I need that to happen. And you need to come with me.

• 11:03Speaker 02

  We need it to happen.

• 11:04Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 11:04Speaker 02

  Ah, we, I'll come with you, but like, I'm gonna be the lurker in the, I'll be the wanker.

• 11:09Speaker 01

  No.

• 11:09Speaker 02

  I'm the wanker. No, I'll be the wanker in the corner.

• 11:12Speaker 01

  You can't come.

• 11:14Speaker 02

  Why?

• 11:14Speaker 01

  Spencer won't let you come on a sex cruise. Especially if you're pregnant. The optics are not good.

• 11:20Speaker 02

  Spenny will let. Spenny, Spenny will let me go on a sex cruise.

• 11:27Speaker 01

  I think the Daily Mail showbiz department would literally explode.

• 11:33Speaker 02

  I'm coming. I'm go- Spenny, are you mad? Spenny would definitely let me on the sex cruise. He's worried that in later life, I'm gonna turn around and decide that I want to be worldly because I haven't been worldly enough in my life.

• 11:44Speaker 01

  Oh, okay. That's, yeah, that seems like a reasonable fear.

• 11:48Speaker 03

  What happens at sea?

• 11:50Speaker 01

  What happens on a sex cruise.

• 11:51Speaker 02

  It's on international waters.

• 11:53Speaker 01

  Stays on a sex cruise.

• 11:56Speaker 02

  Nothing is legal out there. You're not even married anymore out there on international waters. There's no contracts.

• 12:02Speaker 01

  That's why when someone dies at sea, it's really complicated. Really complicated because everyone's like, it's not our problem. And then, yeah, the police have to be involved and everything. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So just, if we just, let's just not die. Because it would be, just make everything very complicated.

• 12:15Speaker 02

  Oh, for God's sake, don't do that. Then I'll be stuck hanging around waiting for you. You don't, you know, I don't have the patience for that. I'm not waiting.

• 12:22Speaker 01

  But she's not dead. She just passed out. She'll be grand.

• 12:24Speaker 02

  She's grand. I'll wheel her off like, like, like your man. Those two fellows in the post office. She's fine.

• 12:30Speaker 01

  She hasn't ridden anyone in years. She's exhausted.

• 12:34Speaker 01

  She's not taking her out of town and had a ride, half a bottle of wine. She'll be grand in three days. Just try and water over my face.

• 12:39Speaker 02

  She's, she's thrilled. That's her happy face.

• 12:45Speaker 04

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• 13:15Speaker 05

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• 14:00Speaker 05

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• 14:22Speaker 01

  By the way, I am in Plymouth this week, this Thursday, the 18th, which I haven't pushed at all because there was some issues with the venue and we didn't know if it was going to go ahead. So I am going to Plymouth and then Yeovil, my arch enemies. Can't wait to see you both. Tickets available, blah blah blah.

• 14:41Speaker 02

  I love that you're just, Joanne's just going to keep going back to Yeovil. She just will never, ever stop. There'll be one person in the audience, I don't care. I don't care.

• 14:48Speaker 01

  It's the one, it's the one that got away. I'm like, I'll just keep going back.

• 14:56Speaker 02

  Hi girls, I'm hoping you can help me decide on how to approach telling my mum about my new boyfriend. I'm close with my mum and want to be honest with her, but she is quite judgmental and there are a couple of things I know she's going to judge me for if I tell her about him. And although I wish I didn't care, I hate the thought of her talking to my sister and auntie about this, like I know she has other aspects of my life before. Oh, we all bitch about each other.

• 15:21Speaker 01

  Well, it's chat. No, it's discussion really.

• 15:24Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 15:24Speaker 01

  It's discussion.

• 15:25Speaker 02

  Like if Amber tells, if Amber does something, I'll ring my mum and tell her and tell my mum not to tell Amber.

• 15:30Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's human nature. Everyone's, we inform each other of what's going on, whether it be negative or positive.

• 15:35Speaker 02

  Hmm. Okay. For context, I broke up with my ex recently. We'd been together three and a half years, living together, have a dog, et cetera. The breakup was a long time coming and we are amicable and fully getting on with our individual lives now. When I got together with my now ex, I was not long out of another three year relationship and the same again before that. So I've been in back to back relationships. I'm very aware that this isn't the ideal situation, but it has just fallen that way. And even if I'm not looking for someone, I get swept off my feet.

• 16:05Speaker 01

  Jesus.

• 16:06Speaker 02

  I would say that used to, well, that kind of, you know, I do think it's good to be single for a while because I didn't do that for a very long time. And it was only when I was like 30 that I actually did it. And each breakup I've had, my mum always makes comments about how I should avoid meeting anyone for a while, taking a break, being alone. I even remember her making comments like this from when I was a teenager. I know she means well, but it's so frustrating because I'm not in any way trying to meet someone. It just happens organically. I've never even been on apps. Anyway, yeah, why the hell are you going out?

• 16:38Speaker 01

  Who is this woman?

• 16:42Speaker 02

  Okay. Then if I do tell her, oh no, anyway, she doesn't know about my new man. And every time I see her, she keeps saying how proud she is of me for being alone. I'm in a new era.

• 16:53Speaker 01

  Oh no.

• 16:54Speaker 02

  How it's what I'm ready for, et cetera. I feel really guilty not telling her, but I just know she'll be disappointed with me. We are becoming pretty serious now and I know there's only so long I can put it off for. Then if I do tell her, I'm considering lying about his age so the gap doesn't seem as big. I've always been with older men, but this is the biggest gap so far. My mum certainly has no problems with my ex being 10 years older than me, but I also feel like he came across 10 years younger than he was. Ooh.

• 17:20Speaker 01

  Yeah. Well, that's how that works. Oh god.

• 17:23Speaker 02

  I'm twenty seven and my new guy is forty seven.

• 17:27Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 17:29Speaker 02

  Your mum isn't, my mum wouldn't be happy with that. Your mum's not gonna be happy with that.

• 17:33Speaker 01

  Well, I follow a couple on Insta with a significant age gap. I don't know how I came across them. And he's, I mean, like, sorry now, but it is the stereotypical situation. He's older, significantly older. Fucking loaded. She's young and hot, but they seem to be genuinely madly in love. They really are. I can tell. Do you know what I mean? If something works, it works. Who are we to decide?

• 18:00Speaker 01

  Is that the answer?

• 18:00Speaker 02

  Exactly. No, ultimately, the age gap doesn't make any difference to us. We are totally content and happy with each other and how things are going. We want the same things. We've already been on holiday together. Jesus Christ, you're very good at relationships. And overall, has no impact on a relationship. Unlike my ex, this guy does look his age. And I feel like it might look like her. It's a bit of a shock to see me with someone who clearly looks physically so much older than me. Oh, she's thinking of lying about the age and saying, um, he's forty instead. I don't think, that's a, that's a white lie.

• 18:33Speaker 01

  I have figured out why she's so good at getting into relationships. She's obviously like a hot twenty seven year old. What, what forty seven year old is not gonna try and hook up with a hot twenty seven year old if he thinks he has a chance? If you're going for men who are twenty years old, then you're like, you know, you know, like a court, like, she's a young, hot thing.

• 18:52Speaker 02

  I'd probably, to be honest with you, I'd probably go out with a six year old, like a decent one. Not, not an in bits one. Like Kevin Costner, isn't he like sixty seven? I'm still mad about him. He's a new girlfriend, raging. I don't know why I'm so upset about that.

• 19:05Speaker 01

  She's probably much, if she's twenty seven going out with a forty seven year old, she's probably quite mature for her age. Like, we all, I, I, we all knew couples like that growing up. We've always had that one female friend who had that boyfriend who was significantly older than the rest of us and the rest of our boyfriends. Didn't we?

• 19:23Speaker 02

  Yeah, well, I used to have a boyfriend that was older than me, but now Svenny's actually younger than me.

• 19:28Speaker 01

  I think ten was the, ten years older than me was the eldest, was the biggest age gap I ever had.

• 19:34Speaker 02

  Yeah, I think I had eight, but now I would go, it just depends. Like, obviously, your mom, your mom is gonna be pissed off, she just will be, like, you don't, you want your daughter.

• 19:44Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 19:44Speaker 02

  And the reason she wants you to be single is because she wants you to go out and live your life and have like fun and everything like that, but some people aren't, like, it's not like you're not having fun by being in a relationship, but I think people are built differently. Some people just enjoy being in relationships and that's just where they find themselves all the time.

• 19:58Speaker 01

  I think mothers as well, they're always, they're always devil's advocate or something. They're all, like, if she sees you going into relationship after relationship after a relationship, she's not you, she doesn't know how you feel, she doesn't know what you need, she thinks she does, but like, she's not in your head, she's not in your heart. So she's just wants you to experience life without a boyfriend. Like, I know girls, I know girls who are married to the lads that we, they met when we were fifteen, sixteen, and they're having a, they're, they're, they're happy, like, they're having a ball. Do you know what I mean? They've never had a period of singleness, but like, they're fine. It's not like you're, yeah, look, I do think, obviously I do think, because I spend most of my time single, but like, I think it is really good to know how to be on your own.

• 20:39Speaker 01

  I do think it's an important skill to have so that you don't settle for shit when it's bad because you're nervous about being on your own, but that doesn't sound like this what this woman is doing at all.

• 20:49Speaker 02

  Yeah. No, well, I think there's just, there's no point in hiding it from your mom, it is what it is. And the longer you lie, the longer you get into it, it's just gonna be a bit awkward. And you've been on holidays with her and stuff, I'd probably just bite the bullet and let her know.

• 21:01Speaker 01

  You have to let her know, she's your mum, she's gonna let her know, it probably will be awkward, she'll probably have a reaction, you just have to power through us.

• 21:08Speaker 02

  Send them into Debbie Thomas now before they meet and she'll, she'll knock a few years off them. Go on.

• 21:13Speaker 01

  The laser lady.

• 21:16Speaker 01

  Yeah, would Korea be an option?

• 21:21Speaker 02

  What was that plastic surgery thing?

• 21:23Speaker 01

  Tell them I meet him in South Korea.

• 21:27Speaker 02

  What was the plastic surgery thing that you had? Remember, months ago, we were talking about some weird plastic surgery place name?

• 21:33Speaker 01

  That I had?

• 21:35Speaker 02

  No, you didn't.

• 21:36Speaker 01

  Faceland in Amsterdam.

• 21:38Speaker 02

  Faceland, that was the one.

• 21:40Speaker 01

  Yeah, everyone's going over to get their blefs done.

• 21:43Speaker 02

  Their blefs.

• 21:44Speaker 01

  Ask him to consider getting his blefs done before he meets your mother. No, but seriously, I think some people are just really good at being in relationships. They don't, it's not like they're, they're not running scared towards people. And like being in relationships, it's lovely. Like, it's hard being single. The companionship of a relationship is lovely. Yeah, your mom's gonna, ultimately, like, when it comes down to it, it's your life.

• 22:03Speaker 02

  Yeah, exactly.

• 22:05Speaker 01

  You have to live for yourself.

• 22:06Speaker 02

  She'll be fine, she just wants you to be happy.

• 22:07Speaker 01

  In the olden days, people lived for their parents, not anymore.

• 22:11Speaker 02

  No.

• 22:11Speaker 01

  We're punks now, she says, about to ring her mum again. Hiya.

• 22:17Speaker 02

  When are you coming over?

• 22:18Speaker 01

  Yeah, what you doing? I had a dream last night that Pat was on a mobility scooter and I was pushing her around. And then her, my phone beeped and her phone beeped at the same time. And I realised that she was in my messages. And I was like, Pat, I said, how could you do that? And she's like, I'm sorry, I just wanted to know where you were. And I was like, but there's sexual stuff in there, there's sexual stuff.

• 22:39Speaker 01

  And she's like, I don't mind, I don't read everything. I was like, then I woke up and I was like, Jesus Christ.

• 22:45Speaker 02

  Who sexual have you been texting?

• 22:48Speaker 01

  Myself, my old Irish number, just to keep things alive.

• 22:50Speaker 02

  She does, she actually sends me the odd one. I'm like, Joanne, I told you, I don't want it anymore.

• 22:55Speaker 01

  I just need a release, Vogue. I've taken this beautiful nude and I've nowhere to send it.

• 23:01Speaker 01

  I'm like sending, I was like, don't open that, just don't bother opening it, I just need it. I'm like one of those lads, a flasher, do you know, you just get the, you just, I just need to send it.

• 23:09Speaker 02

  Maybe just tell me what you're wearing.

• 23:13Speaker 01

  Yeah, you're right, actually, I'll just, I'll go, I'll go the scripted.

• 23:21Speaker 02

  See you later everyone. Thanks, William, for listening. And do keep sending your emails into Joanne. Hit it. [email protected]. Oh, yeah. Thanks, William, guys. I nailed that. Nailed it. I know it. I know it. [email protected].