MTGM EXTRA! "A third person..."

It's a late in the evening record and that means one thing: Vogue is drinking milk and is getting ready for bed. Despite that, there's plenty of time to discuss a listener's problem... Is three a good idea? Tickets for Joanne's tour Pinotphile are now LIVE: www.joannemcnally.com If you’d like to get in touch, you can send an email to [email protected] Please review Global's Privacy Policy: https://global.com/legal/privacy-policy/ For merch, tour dates and more visit: www.mytherapistghostedme.com This episode contains explicit language and adult themes that may not be suitable for all listeners.

• 0:01Speaker 00

  This is a Global Player original podcast.

• 0:10Speaker 01

  Hello everybody and welcome to the bonus episode of My Therapist Gosed Me with me Vogue, Williams, Joanne McNally and Jo Atwell.

• 0:20Speaker 01

  I was talking to Red Richardson about it and she's like tagging someone guy and she's like, couldn't do it without this guy. He cleans up all the scenes and your man's like, hi. Like it's just so weird. Like the one, well, we're just having a quick chat about Bonnie Blue, which is how we start all our podcasts with Joanne. I find the whole thing interesting, you know. Which job would you prefer? Cleaning up the scenes of Bonnie Blue or there are people that clean up the scenes on the jungle when we are trawling through fish guts and offal and loads of like smelly old meat and all the other stuff like cockroaches and stuff like that. I think I'd prefer Bonnie Blue.

• 1:04Speaker 02

  Well, it would obviously depend on the fee, on the regularity of the, if it's.

• 1:09Speaker 01

  Same fee, everything is the same. Everything will be the same. It will take the same amount of time, same fee, everything.

• 1:14Speaker 02

  She's getting annoyed. She's getting annoyed when you don't play the game. She's like, no, no, same fee.

• 1:19Speaker 01

  Stop looking into it.

• 1:20Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah. Stop overthinking it. Just say something.

• 1:23Speaker 03

  Is it just the once or is it every day?

• 1:27Speaker 01

  Guys, it's a fucking, it's a full-time job, okay? How, a full-time job of normal hours that people do nine to five.

• 1:36Speaker 02

  I'd rather, I'd rather clean up the Bonnie Blue crime scenes because, yeah, I mean, let's face it, as a woman, I've done that already. So who cares?

• 1:47Speaker 01

  Really that, to that extent?

• 1:49Speaker 02

  Ah, yeah, I've lived.

• 1:52Speaker 02

  I went to university.

• 1:53Speaker 01

  I haven't lived enough, obviously.

• 1:54Speaker 02

  I spent a week in Ibiza. I've lived. I've put my time in. And also, I'm quite, I think I have the ability to do it because I follow a lot of like crimes. Well, one main crime scene Instagram account.

• 2:09Speaker 01

  So you think you'd be good at cleaning? Well, do you know what? I'm considering getting pregnant again, so maybe the Bonnie Blue job would be right up my street.

• 2:18Speaker 02

  Well, if you want me to gather some of it for you, I can, if that's what you're asking.

• 2:23Speaker 01

  Your kindness knows no bounds, John McNally.

• 2:26Speaker 02

  We'll get you knocked up, whether it's Spencer or someone else. We'll do it. We'll do it. If it's me sweeping out Bonnie Blue's bedrooms, that's fine. By the way, just before, if we're talking about male semen, did you, Joe, have you watched the show on The Puff Daddy? The Puff, The Puff Reckoning?

• 2:47Speaker 01

  The 50 Cent thing? I haven't watched it yet. Is it amazing?

• 2:50Speaker 03

  Is it disturbing?

• 2:51Speaker 02

  Well, firstly, apparently he killed Biggie on Tupac, which I did not know. Now, it wasn't, it's not like, you know, hip hop's not my, it's not exactly my, that's what I'm talking, my celebrity, my celebrity mastermind specialist topic, but I did not know. But anyway, there was a sex worker in it who was hired for years to ride your one that he was going out with for years. The girl that he was very violent with.

• 3:10Speaker 01

  Yeah, Cassie.

• 3:11Speaker 02

  Cassie.

• 3:12Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 3:13Speaker 02

  And the guy, the sex worker was like, they used to collect my semen. And he said, this was going on years, and eventually, just as, folks, takes a big gulp for milk there.

• 3:25Speaker 01

  That's a really nice one from a glass bottle. I'm treating myself.

• 3:29Speaker 02

  Badly timed.

• 3:30Speaker 01

  Unharmonised.

• 3:33Speaker 02

  Look at you, you mad bitch.

• 3:36Speaker 01

  Listen, you have me doing a podcast at eight o'clock at night. I'm in my bedtime routine.

• 3:41Speaker 03

  She's having it straight from the other because it's bedtime.

• 3:43Speaker 02

  Yeah. Worms be damned.

• 3:47Speaker 02

  Like your man, Daniel Watson's face. Do you remember someone, remember that story we read out that someone said they saw him hungover? He woke up, Daniel Radcliffe, woke up in a field after a heavy night and he was so hung out. Do you know that hangover thirst that he sucked the milk straight out of a guy who's udder?

• 4:04Speaker 01

  I heard of somebody drinking the water from an iron and I thought I'd probably do that.

• 4:11Speaker 02

  Oh, when the hangover thirst kicks in, you'd be sucking it from the faucet of a train. You don't care.

• 4:17Speaker 01

  I'd be drinking it from the toilet, so I wouldn't give a shit.

• 4:21Speaker 02

  But anyway, your man, they were collecting a semen and one day he said he just was like, I know you've, I know you've paid your, paid the fee and it's not really up to me what you do with the semen. But can I ask what you do with it? And Puffy got, Puffy got very defensive and he's like, we do what we want. We like to play with it and drink it and we do what we wanted it. Yeah. Now, and then he said, after he asked, they never collected it again. Now, isn't that one of the strangest things you've ever heard?

• 4:49Speaker 01

  I find, I find the whole thing strange, but I also find 50, 50 Cent going on about how much he despises Puff Daddy and he's like this sexual predator and this awful person. But he went to Conor McGregor's pub after all the allegations happened. And I'm like, which side are you on, pal? You want, you got him? Listen, and I used to love 50 Cent and then I saw him do that and I thought, oh, I don't love you anymore. I wouldn't even go to your concert now.

• 5:18Speaker 02

  Oh, no. So when I, I read something the other day, it was like, what are your revenge levels from the scale of zero to 50 Cent?

• 5:31Speaker 02

  There's a lot of your paddy, paddiness levels on a scale of zero to 50 Cent.

• 5:36Speaker 01

  If there was a, if there was a holding a grudge level, one, a zero to 50 Cent, I'd be up there at 50.

• 5:42Speaker 02

  Yeah. It's just the way he just keeps grinning. I just, he's just grinning. It's just so weird.

• 5:47Speaker 01

  Every single second of it.

• 5:49Speaker 02

  He is the cat who got all the cream. And they're like, what do you think? Shaun would think about this series. He goes, I think he'd think it was the greatest thing he's ever seen.

• 6:01Speaker 01

  I haven't watched it. Is it out yet? I actually haven't watched it.

• 6:04Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's out. It's out and about. It's living its life.

• 6:07Speaker 01

  Oh my god.

• 6:08Speaker 02

  It is very good. It's very, it's really good. It's like, it's, you know, he was proper, he's a proper baddie.

• 6:15Speaker 01

  Oh yeah, of course he is. I actually, I just started a new book and I'm always going on about books, but I did just start a new book. So now I'm not reading anything and it is the coolest front cover and the coolest name of a book. It's called Slags.

• 6:26Speaker 02

  Oh yeah, I know.

• 6:27Speaker 01

  Oh, I just love the cover and everything like that. I'm like, that's just so perfect, the colour.

• 6:31Speaker 02

  It's a great name.

• 6:32Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's really, really good. So I've just started reading that and it's pretty good for anyone who's looking for a Christmas gift. Give, give a slag, slags. Give a slag, give a gift, gift yourself a slag for Christmas. I'm reading Cathy Burke's book.

• 6:46Speaker 02

  You were reading that last week.

• 6:47Speaker 01

  Oh, was I?

• 6:48Speaker 02

  Oh jeez, I'm sorry, my man. Sorry, I'm so sorry, buddy.

• 6:54Speaker 01

  Or Sarah Jessica Parker. Sixty books a day for the Pulitzer.

• 6:58Speaker 02

  Calm down.

• 6:59Speaker 01

  Shaun, I wanna be Richard and Judy and you're just not playing ball. Take that back. You've already finished Cathy Burke, okay?

• 7:04Speaker 02

  Sorry, sorry. Well, I'm also writing a book in my defence.

• 7:11Speaker 01

  Don't bring that up again.

• 7:13Speaker 02

  Is that, is that okay?

• 7:17Speaker 02

  I'm making art, folk.

• 7:22Speaker 01

  Fair. I actually can't wait to read it.

• 7:23Speaker 02

  It will happen. I know it will happen.

• 7:25Speaker 01

  I know it will. It'll fucking, legally it has to. Anyway.

• 7:32Speaker 01

  Unlegal mumbo jumbo.

• 7:34Speaker 02

  Oh gosh. I haven't signed anything.

• 7:37Speaker 01

  They're like, you signed loads of shirts.

• 7:38Speaker 02

  Oh, did I? Okay.

• 7:41Speaker 01

  This is the problem with digital signatures. It feels like it's nothing. It's like Apple Pay. It's like, oh, John, you signed it all, honey. You signed everything. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Who's checking this? I'm doing my management. I'm like, who's that person? Am I meant to sign this? And they're like, yes, you can sign that one. Or no, we don't know who that is. I was like, well, I nearly signed that, whatever that was.

• 8:01Speaker 02

  What?

• 8:02Speaker 01

  Well, I get, I get loads of things. I'll sign this for like release forms and stuff for TV and that. Like, I'm just like, hmm, I don't know that name.

• 8:09Speaker 02

  Oh, I'd sign anything.

• 8:11Speaker 01

  I know. We shouldn't really say that. We wouldn't sign anything. We'd get our lawyers to check over it.

• 8:14Speaker 02

  Sorry, yes, of course.

• 8:15Speaker 01

  Is what we do. Or I usually cost money.

• 8:18Speaker 02

  I'm like, ChatGPT, what's this?

• 8:22Speaker 01

  My favorite thing about ChatGPT, and I know everyone uses it for different things, is when I notice that people have used it for a caption or for a response to a text. And I'm like, oh, that's my favorite.

• 8:34Speaker 02

  Yeah, because they don't take the dashes out. It's saying that it's a proper problem because you're kind of taking the thought process out of a lot of kind of human responses and stuff. Like, we're a bit old to the tooth now. We're, we will use it, I'm sure. And we should use it because it's not going anywhere. But they're saying that like the kind of the couple of generations behind where we were forced to make contact, small talk ourselves, that they're really, they're just, you're just basically two ChatGPTs talking to each other.

• 9:02Speaker 01

  I have met somebody recently and they are younger than me. And I thought to myself, you are.

• 9:10Speaker 02

  You sound surprised that anyone's younger than you.

• 9:13Speaker 01

  But they look younger than me.

• 9:16Speaker 01

  But, but they just didn't ask any questions. Like, just had, and not just to me, to other people. And I thought, I wouldn't want to sit beside you at a dinner party. Because you know when people are like that? And it's like, you just have no interest in anybody else. And it's actually, it's not endearing in the slightest. I'm not going to try and prize you open like a locked chest. Like, fucking give me something here, pal.

• 9:35Speaker 02

  Yeah, I know. It's called the art of conversation. It's supposed to go two ways. Although I don't know if that's a generational thing. I have been in the company of people where, and I'm not, I don't think I'm a greedy conversationist. Like, I'm happy to contribute and talk about myself. But I'm also curious and I like asking other people. And, but I was, I had a similar situation recently. I was like, oh my God. I'm literally down to ask you about your menstrual cycle and you haven't asked me a single question about myself. I know, it's crazy.

• 10:03Speaker 01

  It takes a while before you pick it up and then you're like, hang on a second. But then there are those people who don't, who, who flip the conversation on you the whole time because they just don't want to talk about themselves at all. And it's like, okay, come on now.

• 10:15Speaker 02

  Because I find conversation tiring as well, do you know, like you're, you know.

• 10:21Speaker 01

  Are you tired now?

• 10:22Speaker 02

  I talk for a living.

• 10:24Speaker 01

  That's.

• 10:24Speaker 02

  So I'm happy to take the, take the, like, put, take the foot off the gas in the evening times when I'm having with friends. I'm like, Grace, you tell me about your life.

• 10:32Speaker 01

  Yeah, to have a relax. And I also think that people think our lives are more interesting than they are. And so they're like, oh my God, tell me about that. And I'm like, well, like, tell me about that TV show. I'm like, well, it's a lot of, it's a lot of hurry up and wait is, is what.

• 10:44Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 10:44Speaker 01

  Is how I would describe TV. Quick, we're late, we're late. And then you're like, oh, why am I sitting here for three hours?

• 10:49Speaker 02

  I know. Yeah. I, my thing is that I find some friends, they're like, well, look, I wouldn't ask because you're so busy. I'm like, I'm not that, like, yeah, I'm busy, but I'm busy and I'm on my own a lot. I still want my friends to, you know, check in, invite me to things.

• 11:06Speaker 01

  Yeah. So you can politely to, to, oh my God.

• 11:09Speaker 02

  Don't go.

• 11:10Speaker 01

  It's a door ring. Is it weird that I'm too scared to answer at 20 past eight?

• 11:13Speaker 02

  Do you not have a Google doorbell?

• 11:16Speaker 01

  No.

• 11:16Speaker 02

  I'd have a drone in it. Like what? You should have security.

• 11:20Speaker 01

  20 past eight at night. I'm not answering that. I'm too scared.

• 11:24Speaker 01

  Is that weird to be scared? Spenny's away tonight. I'm not answering this. God knows who it could be. Okay. If I don't come back in two minutes, you know I'm dead.

• 11:30Speaker 02

  Oh my God, this is so scream code. I love it. Don't run upstairs. There's no way out.

• 11:35Speaker 03

  Yeah, they always run upstairs.

• 11:37Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 11:38Speaker 01

  Don't lie to a room. Do you know what? I don't feel comfortable. I'm not doing it. I've decided. I'm sorry. I'm not. It's 20 past eight at night. There's no way. I, when I was growing up with Neil, if anyone rang our phone after nine o'clock at night, they were getting it in the neck. And I'd be there and I could hear it and I'd be, Ashley. And I'd be, oh no, Ashley's going dead tonight.

• 11:56Speaker 02

  Yeah. Poor Neil. He ran a very tight ship. My God. Well, I keep a giant kitchen knife, attrition's transformation kitchen knife by the door. Um, in case I need to leave a roof, drivers get a little fresh.

• 12:08Speaker 01

  I'll fucking stab them.

• 12:10Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 12:11Speaker 01

  Last week we were talking about them coming in with a flaccid penis and now we're talking.

• 12:17Speaker 02

  Were we?

• 12:18Speaker 01

  Don't remember that.

• 12:21Speaker 03

  I can verify that.

• 12:22Speaker 02

  What can I say? I'm hot and cold. I'm hot and cold. It's up and down with me.

• 12:27Speaker 01

  Very on and off, John.

• 12:28Speaker 03

  Any poor delivery driver who heard last week's podcast and thought, well, you know, it could be on.

• 12:34Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 12:34Speaker 03

  You'll stab in the face.

• 12:36Speaker 02

  Yeah. Well, I wouldn't go in the face in case there was a breakdown in communication. There's often a language barrier. If they were maybe just trying to use the bathroom or something like that, but I would stab them right in the chest.

• 12:46Speaker 01

  I'm more scared of the ghosts anyway than the real people. So that's a real concern of mine. It's only because I'm being shown these things on Instagram now, you know, when your algorithm and it's like, look at what was behind her. And I'm like, waiting for it. Won't do that shit, obviously.

• 12:59Speaker 02

  I think you're.

• 12:59Speaker 01

  It's too late for that business.

• 13:01Speaker 02

  I think it's cute to be spooked, but I'm definitely more fearful of real things.

• 13:11Speaker 01

  Yeah, I know. I should be. I'm not. I'm not.

• 13:13Speaker 02

  No, you're not.

• 13:14Speaker 03

  I feel like a ghost doesn't need to ring a doorbell. That's not, that's not a thing ghosts need to do.

• 13:19Speaker 01

  Joe, you obviously aren't watching the things I'm watching on Instagram.

• 13:21Speaker 02

  You don't have to buzz them up.

• 13:24Speaker 03

  Come right up.

• 13:25Speaker 02

  Why did I buzz that spirit in? I should have known.

• 13:29Speaker 01

  Excuse me, are we forgetting poltergeists that have to be invited? And I'm sorry, what are they called? Demons? Demons must be invited.

• 13:39Speaker 02

  One of the scariest scenes ever was poltergeist when your one's braces attacked her. Do you remember this, Joe? You're probably a bit young.

• 13:46Speaker 03

  I've not seen poltergeist.

• 13:46Speaker 02

  Her braces like came out all over, like, and it's every teenager's nightmare because like it was the, you know, braces are a little, well, ching ching. Do you remember the Bank of Ireland ad? Braces are ching ching. No, it was more. Anyway, so her braces came out and like covered herself and locked her all in this like metal. It was awful. It was horrific. It stuck out in my mind for a very, very long time.

• 14:16Speaker 01

  I used to have braces, but did you ever know me when I had a big gap in my front teeth?

• 14:19Speaker 02

  No, I don't think so.

• 14:20Speaker 01

  Rage and I ever got rid of it. My mum told me not to get rid of it. But I actually had to get the thing that attaches your lip to your gum, you know, that bit of skin. I had to get half that removed so that my, um, my teeth would close. Yeah. Amber had a head brace and everything because she used to suck her thumb. So she was like, honestly, she was knocking people out with those teeth before Neil stepped in and got the old head brace. Couldn't afford it before.

• 14:41Speaker 02

  Sorry now. I've, I've heard enough. Do you know what? I'm going to say it. I'm ringing Tuzla. Tuzla is the Irish Social Services. No child deserves a head brace because they're sucking their thumb. There is no sense to that.

• 14:53Speaker 01

  Do you know what? The, the difference in Neil is I went to T's school because obviously they were reminding T and Gigi for a while. And all the teachers are like, oh my God, met your stepdad, the nicest man. And not just off one person. My mum was like, did anyone say anything about me? I was like, I'm sorry, mum. They were just all talking about Neil. And I was like, you didn't grow up with him. He didn't used to be this man. He's turned, he's changed into the angel.

• 15:16Speaker 02

  A head brace, that's like a scene out of Misery. You're one club and you're one, your man's feet in.

• 15:20Speaker 01

  Why would you need a head? I suck my thumb. Is he gonna, is Neil gonna put me in a head brace?

• 15:24Speaker 02

  But John, if he gets his hands on you, yes, I think he will. Well, tell him I'll stab him with the knife that I have at the door for the delivery drivers. If he comes anywhere near me.

• 15:33Speaker 01

  Was better than the alternative for me, actually.

• 15:39Speaker 02

  A head brace.

• 15:40Speaker 01

  Me, mommy, Joanne, no.

• 15:43Speaker 02

  She'd be going around like that fucking horror, remember Jigsaw? Remember the little guy in the, in the little tricycle cycling around?

• 15:49Speaker 01

  Oh, please, ah, lads, we have to stop with it. And then this trash come on, this, I'm a bit frightened. I'm here on my own. I already told you that's.

• 15:55Speaker 03

  Do you want to play a game?

• 15:57Speaker 02

  No. Terrifying.

• 15:59Speaker 01

  Oh God.

• 16:00Speaker 02

  We're doing an email.

• 16:02Speaker 01

  Do you know what? I'm just about to open the email. Okay, Three's Company.

• 16:07Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 16:08Speaker 01

  Dear Vogue and Joanne, please, for the love of God, don't say my name on the podcast. Is this your mother?

• 16:14Speaker 02

  Helen, hiya.

• 16:16Speaker 01

  This sounds like that. God.

• 16:18Speaker 02

  What's what?

• 16:19Speaker 01

  I got drunk. Oh, no, it doesn't actually. I got drunk with my boyfriend recently and we had a really nice night. We had fun, we were silly and we were honest with each other about our sex life. We have great sex. Oh, but I confess to my boyfriend that I'd be up for opening the relationship to a third person in the bedroom.

• 16:38Speaker 02

  A bit of spice in the drawer. Okay, go on.

• 16:41Speaker 01

  Play to you. It was a gamble because I didn't know what he'd say. To my surprise, he said that he'd be up for it.

• 16:47Speaker 02

  Is this a strike? Sorry, is this a strike up a man, woman?

• 16:50Speaker 01

  Yeah, I think so.

• 16:51Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 16:52Speaker 01

  We had sex and went to sleep. Great. The next morning, he brought it up again and was clearly keen, but we hit a snag. He said he'd only wanted to be another woman and I replied that I'd only pictured it being another man. We went back and forth, but basically just dropped the subject. So now what? I thought, I.

• 17:11Speaker 02

  There's an affair coming.

• 17:13Speaker 01

  I could possibly accept another man in the room. I couldn't. I couldn't accept another woman, but I wouldn't be a hundred percent against another man in the room.

• 17:21Speaker 02

  I'd take another woman just for the chats.

• 17:24Speaker 01

  Yeah, you see, that's that's what would happen. You'd end up just having drinks.

• 17:27Speaker 02

  This fucking idiot, huh?

• 17:31Speaker 01

  I wouldn't bother with him if I was.

• 17:32Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Run now, honey, run.

• 17:37Speaker 01

  Can I come with you? You'd be packing your bag. What would you be putting in there? The Delft and stuff again?

• 17:40Speaker 02

  I'd be just, I'd just be sitting there drinking Cognos with him in the kitchen, holding hands there while he's pulling himself off in the bedroom.

• 17:47Speaker 01

  I'm worried if we do nothing about it, that we're basically admitting that we are unfulfilled sexually. To be honest, I'm not that bothered in the cold light of day, but I'm worried now that I know what he wants and I don't think it's something I can give him. How do we fix it? I wish I had said nothing. Now, I, I don't think that that, like, he could be thinking the same as you. And it's also just like drunk chat, like, oh, like, wouldn't that be interesting to do? And, and then you might wake up the next day and you both have completely different ideas of what you want because. But like, fair, fair enough to him as well. He obviously doesn't want to be wanking off another boy and that's fine.

• 18:25Speaker 02

  You know, the Latin saying, there's truth us in wine us, except it's in Latin. I just made it English there.

• 18:32Speaker 03

  I'll do a little Google.

• 18:33Speaker 02

  Do a little Google there, Jo. Something, something.

• 18:35Speaker 01

  Are you writing a poetry book, Joanne? That was really beautiful.

• 18:38Speaker 02

  Thank you. I can't take credit for it. It's an old saying.

• 18:43Speaker 01

  I'd, of course, there's, when the truth comes out when you're drunk.

• 18:46Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 18:46Speaker 03

  In vino veritas.

• 18:48Speaker 02

  Exactly. That's what I said, Joe. In truth, that's in wine. Yeah.

• 18:52Speaker 01

  That does sound better.

• 18:53Speaker 02

  And in, and that is the truth, but at the same time.

• 18:55Speaker 01

  Joe, don't let her privately text you after this pod to take it the first thing that she says.

• 19:01Speaker 01

  Sometimes I listen back.

• 19:05Speaker 01

  Listen back and I'm like, what the hell? He cut out all the other bullshit, she said.

• 19:12Speaker 02

  Keep things clear and high brow.

• 19:15Speaker 03

  Yeah, I said that on the first take.

• 19:17Speaker 02

  Yeah, I said that on the first take. But also at the end, at the end of the day, relationships are just this huge, giant compromise, aren't they? So you've both decided, okay, we can't agree, we'll have to agree to disagree on this one. We can't come to a solution. So I don't think it's a case that they're both going to go off and start sleeping around on each other. I think they, they had a conversation. They, they realised, oh, we're interested in the concept, but not the details. Fine, let's park it. And, but also I would say, I would think that she, I think it's more, there's more chance that she would come around to another woman than him coming around to another man. I would think, I could be wrong, but you know, you know what straight lads are like when they're, most of them are gay anyway, but they're, so they're very concerned that that was, the mask will slip.

• 19:58Speaker 01

  If you get another bloke in there, you might, you might be the one that's getting ditched and they won't be drinking wine.

• 20:02Speaker 02

  I genuinely think that that is a concern for a lot of men.

• 20:07Speaker 01

  Do you know what I find exciting about this conversation? Like, Svenny and I are obviously in a monogamous relationship, but who knows, 20 years down the line, just spat everywhere. The excitement.

• 20:18Speaker 03

  Just salivating.

• 20:19Speaker 01

  20 years down the line, you never know what you would like turn into. Now, in fairness, I probably would highly date that, but like, it's exciting to think.

• 20:27Speaker 02

  I think.

• 20:27Speaker 01

  Oh my God, you never know.

• 20:28Speaker 02

  I think most people accept now that in long-term relationships, sex, you know, changes, shifts, potentially dwindles, maybe comes back around, whatever it is.

• 20:38Speaker 01

  Do you know what I always find interesting? I wonder how much sex people are having a week in a relationship. So like in long-term relationships, how much sex are you having a week? Because I think that's such a triggering conversation for some people. I don't.

• 20:50Speaker 02

  I don't really like to say what I'm having, but it is an interesting question. So, Jo, how much sex are you having a week?

• 20:54Speaker 01

  I honestly, you telegraphed it from five miles back.

• 20:59Speaker 02

  Yeah, with that last discretion, we could see that coming a mile off. There's a doctor called Dr Karen Gurney, who I am a fan of, and she talks about, she's basically-

• 21:08Speaker 01

  What, she's doing yokes?

• 21:09Speaker 02

  The sex doctor.

• 21:16Speaker 02

  Yeah, she studied the last art of gurning. Yeah, she travels around with a prodigy exclusively now.

• 21:24Speaker 02

  Doing TED Talk.

• 21:25Speaker 01

  Oh, God.

• 21:26Speaker 02

  In how to pass it off as a stroke for less drama. She, um, she talks about, and I was only watching, she had a really good podcast episode recently, I was watching, actually watched the whole thing on YouTube. And she talks about this and the myth that is, that there's this myth that you're supposed to be having the usual number is three times a week, that that's kind of what's normal. She's like, nothing's normal, everything's normal, it's all to play for. She's like, some couples have sex twice a year and it's mind blowing. She said, you're better off having, it's quality over quantity for when it comes to kind of intimacy and connection and all that jazz. That you could be having sex five times a week with your husband, but the chances are you're not like, I don't know, I'm just, I'm just spouting what she was spouting. That you're not, it's not necessarily good sex. She's like, you're better off having regular, irregular and better sex.

• 22:11Speaker 02

  She also said, which I found interesting as a single person, she was like, they call it sex drive, which she's like, it's, it's actually not a fair description of it. She's like, sex is the one thing, the less you have, the longer you go at it, the less you care. So it's different if you're like hungry or thirsty, you'll seek out food and you'll seek out water, sex you won't.

• 22:30Speaker 01

  I, yeah, I would actually agree with that. Having been away for three weeks, I, I didn't really think about it in the jungle at all, because it just wasn't for me. But one of our friends is convinced that I just have sex all the time. Like, he sent me this voicemail straight away, he was like, oh, how many times have you done it? He's like, if there's one thing I know about you is that you've never had enough. I'm like, I think you've got the wrong idea about me here.

• 22:49Speaker 02

  Who the fuck is sending you that?

• 22:51Speaker 01

  Who do you think?

• 22:55Speaker 02

  That man needs to mind his own business.

• 22:58Speaker 02

  But I would recommend Karen Gurney, it's, it's, she's really, really interesting. She's, she's obviously like, you know, she knows what she's talking about. And, um, yeah, it was like a very kind of realistic take on sex and kind of the ebbs and flows and. Yeah.

• 23:15Speaker 01

  Yeah. Well, I think, I do think that you're right. I think it's just very different for, for very different people and people have different needs about how much they want it.

• 23:22Speaker 02

  And then there's nothing worse than feeling like you're obliged to have sex with someone. And you're like, there's nothing worse. They're like, I, I fucking hate you now.

• 23:33Speaker 02

  Too much.

• 23:34Speaker 01

  Fine, I'll do it, but I'm not happy about it.

• 23:37Speaker 02

  Yeah, you're like, I'm not happy about it. And they're like, I don't care. You're like, wow, thank you. Thanks a million. Nice to know my desire matters, you know. They're like, I don't care. That's a lot of like, I don't, I don't care. Just.

• 23:50Speaker 01

  I'll still do it, but I won't even like it. I'll still do it.

• 23:53Speaker 02

  We're not even talking at the moment. We're in the middle of a massive fight. It's like, I don't care.

• 23:58Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 23:59Speaker 01

  Okay, fine.

• 24:00Speaker 02

  That's why it's useful to get a third in, because you're like, look, I'm not speaking to you, but she'll, she'll do it. She'll take the afternoon shift.

• 24:06Speaker 01

  Unless you guys have fallen out too.

• 24:07Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's true, actually.

• 24:15Speaker 02

  That's it for the bonus. Thanks for listening. And I do think we should put more time, like Stephen Bartlett does. Every week he goes on the podcast and asks them to support him and that it makes the podcast better. And we don't do anything like that.

• 24:32Speaker 03

  You do, you say every six months.

• 24:34Speaker 01

  We actually do. You do it sometimes.

• 24:36Speaker 03

  You say we should do this and then we never do it again.

• 24:38Speaker 02

  I love the way Stephen, Stephen Bartlett's like Wikipedia. Does Wikipedia message you every now and again? They're like, please, we've no money. That's kind of what Steve Bartlett's like. It's like, Steve, I think you have a couple of quid.

• 24:48Speaker 01

  Oh, he's, he's making some pretty good money in the podding game. Wikipedia, it does do that, actually. You're dead right. I'll tell you what, if you change my picture, if you change my picture, I'll consider it.

• 24:58Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah, fair, fair. Yeah. I, I set up a direct ad because I do feel it is important.

• 25:05Speaker 01

  I'm an angel.

• 25:12Speaker 04

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• 25:42Speaker 00

  This has been a Global Player original production.