God Bless...

Who's watched the Boyzone documentary?? Don't worry, because Vogue & Joanne have! Plus, what did Joanne take in Cape Town and how much did it cost? If you’d like to get in touch, you can send an email to [email protected] Please review Global's Privacy Policy: global.com/legal/privacy-policy/ For merch, tour dates and more visit: www.mytherapistghostedme.com For more information about Joanne's gigs, visit: www.joannemcnally.com This episode contains explicit language and adult themes that may not be suitable for all listeners.

• 0:02Speaker 00

  This is a Global Player original podcast.

• 0:15Speaker 01

  Hello and welcome to the main episode of My Therapist Ghosted Me With Me, Pog Williams and

• 0:20Speaker 02

  Joanne McNally and

• 0:23Speaker 01

  Joe Atwell.

• 0:24Speaker 02

  Joe Atwell. We're all back in the room.

• 0:26Speaker 01

  We're in the studio.

• 0:28Speaker 02

  It's ages since we've been physically together. We've been mentally together quite regularly, but physically.

• 0:33Speaker 01

  Physically, you look great. You look so brown and holidayed.

• 0:36Speaker 02

  Thank you. That's all fake, you know that.

• 0:38Speaker 01

  Do you not tan at all?

• 0:40Speaker 02

  Well, I don't, look, I don't buzz off tanning. I'll buzz off getting, having a tan. And now because I'm very well stocked with, I can just paint myself brown. So why would I bother? When I can just sit indoors then and drink and read and eat.

• 0:54Speaker 01

  I like to sit in a shade, in the shade, in a shade, under the umbrella. I don't like to sit out tanning and I like to do stuff. I'm more of a doer.

• 1:01Speaker 02

  I love having a tan. I love having a tan. But my holiday happy place is sitting in like open plan restaurants.

• 1:09Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:09Speaker 02

  With a little umbrella, a little bit of shade and I'm reading and writing and chatting and drinking wine and eating. And that's kind of what I like to do.

• 1:16Speaker 01

  Has that restaurant shut down in South Africa now that you've left because you were the one who was actually propping it up?

• 1:20Speaker 02

  Well, the vineyards are all, the vineyards are doing a whip around. They've set up a GoFundMe because there isn't a grape left in them. Not a grape. And South Africa's famous for its wine. Not anymore. I say you'll have to work on something else. You'll have to look at maybe getting some beer going or something. Not a grape left in the, even the real grapes. I ate them too.

• 1:40Speaker 01

  Did you?

• 1:40Speaker 02

  I left them in the sun hoping they'd turn into wine because I drank all the wine.

• 1:44Speaker 01

  Did you, how many times did you eat at that restaurant that I always sell pictures of?

• 1:47Speaker 02

  Oh, every, every day. And then I got embarrassed because I would then try and break it up. Like, do you know, because you're like, I can't go back there. Hi, Joanne. I'm like, hey, Peter. Yeah.

• 1:58Speaker 01

  Did you get in the sea once?

• 2:00Speaker 02

  Well, well, well. What an interesting question. It was only on the last day I looked at the sea and said, I didn't get into you once.

• 2:06Speaker 01

  No.

• 2:07Speaker 02

  I don't like to get wet, really.

• 2:09Speaker 01

  Joanne!

• 2:10Speaker 02

  I don't know.

• 2:11Speaker 01

  There are sharks in the South African sea, by the way.

• 2:14Speaker 02

  Brendan Courtney, very good friend of mine, was with me and he's a water baby. So he's like, every time we passed any bit of water, a fucking sink, he was like, hold my bag! And he was in it. So I would just hold his bag while he dipped into the sea and the pool and everything like that.

• 2:28Speaker 01

  How could you not get in the sea?

• 2:30Speaker 02

  Do you know what's really weird? I can't answer that. I cannot answer that question. I was just having such a good time in the restaurants.

• 2:38Speaker 01

  It's my number one favourite thing to do on holidays, is to get into the sea and swim.

• 2:43Speaker 02

  It was quite far. Like, I could see it, but it wasn't like on my doors. It wasn't my door. It was like a five minute walk. I cannot explain it. I don't know. But you know what as well? There's a lot of pressure on holidays. I met a guy flying home, a guy called Mike, who was lovely, an Irish guy, no, sorry, English guy, actually.

• 2:58Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:58Speaker 02

  Oh, I don't know. He just knows someone who knows. And he listens to the pod, or somebody he knows listens to the pod. And he said, oh, I heard you were. I said, yeah, I was following you. He goes, this is like, as I was taking my seat, he goes, did you even leave Camps Bay? I was like, sorry. I'm sorry, Mike, is it? Shaming me on a full flight.

• 3:16Speaker 01

  She went three weeks. Did you go to the Penguin Beach?

• 3:19Speaker 02

  I will do whatever I wish to do.

• 3:21Speaker 01

  Did you go to the Penguin Beach?

• 3:23Speaker 02

  I didn't. I fucking didn't.

• 3:24Speaker 01

  For fuck's sake.

• 3:25Speaker 02

  I can see penguins online anytime I want.

• 3:28Speaker 01

  I just, do you know what? This is Joanne's day.

• 3:31Speaker 02

  You can't even touch them, you know?

• 3:32Speaker 01

  She walked down to Peter's restaurant. She had the same salad every day.

• 3:38Speaker 02

  Chick salad, yeah. Post shacks and totes. And then I would go and do my gymming or training, because you've brainwashed me.

• 3:44Speaker 01

  How good do you feel coming back from holidays after being training?

• 3:46Speaker 02

  Yeah, I kept my training going over there, because you know, I'm in my fitness era. And I got a trainer. I treated myself to a trainer over there because I was like, my usual holiday state is, feral with a capital F. I was like, okay, Joanne, you're in your 40s now. Let's all calm down. Let's take it easy.

• 4:03Speaker 02

  And I trained and trained until...

• 4:06Speaker 01

  The gays came.

• 4:07Speaker 02

  Are the wheels coming off there? The last couple of days, because as we know, I extended. I was like, I'm go, I'm engaging my old self and I went.

• 4:17Speaker 01

  Your own holiday mode.

• 4:18Speaker 02

  My, went back, but I kept, I kept a lid on it for the guts of two weeks. And when I say a lid, I meant I wasn't just pumping myself full of booze and I kept my exercise going. So my mind was clearer. And then on the last three days, I, because weed and edibles is all legal over there.

• 4:35Speaker 01

  And say that for your weed is.

• 4:37Speaker 02

  Yeah, there's like cannibalists, cannabis shopping centres.

• 4:40Speaker 01

  I walked by this fellow this morning and fair enough, do whatever you want. Twenty five to eight, he's smoking a spliff while I'm dropping the kids. I'm like, how can you function for the day?

• 4:49Speaker 02

  Well, he can't. I guess that's, that's the dream.

• 4:51Speaker 01

  Just as being like the state of like deadness.

• 4:53Speaker 02

  He'll come to at dinnertime, he'll be delighted with himself.

• 4:56Speaker 01

  No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

• 4:57Speaker 02

  Well, I anyway, because the food in Cape Town is unreal. Tomatoes the size of human heads. Everything's amazing. The wine's amazing. The coffee's amazing. The, the produce is so fresh. Everything is huge. It's just, and the service is so good. And not once, not once did they tell me where to fucking sit. I'd walk into restaurants.

• 5:19Speaker 01

  Sit wherever you want.

• 5:20Speaker 02

  Now, bearing, bearing in mind, I was in everyone for, I was a pretty regular customer.

• 5:24Speaker 01

  You just had your own special table.

• 5:25Speaker 02

  They were like, I was, can I sit in there? And they go, sit anywhere you want. I could have sat at a 12 seater on a patio outside. They wouldn't have said a thing to me. I was like, that's where I love Cape Town. But then I knew I was, I was down, I was two weeks in an Airbnb and then all the gays left and I went into a hotel. Cause I didn't want to be in the Airbnb by myself, just for boredom. And then I was in the hotel, six days in a hotel, because it's kind of transient hotels. So six days in a hotel is quite a long time. Like no one's there for two weeks. They're there on their way to somewhere else. And on the last day, I was like, I'm now the only guest who knows I'd use the toaster. So like people would be asking me and I was like managing the toaster. I was like, no, no, no, it's up too high. You're going to have to put it through again. Do you know what I mean? I knew how it all worked. I was like, it's time.

• 6:05Speaker 01

  It's one of those.

• 6:06Speaker 02

  Time to go.

• 6:06Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah.

• 6:07Speaker 02

  It's time to go. I'm like the toaster engineer in Camps Bay.

• 6:09Speaker 01

  It felt like you were away for way longer though.

• 6:12Speaker 02

  It's only three weeks.

• 6:12Speaker 01

  Yeah, I'm, I'm more the holiday one than you are. So when you go away, it just feels unusual.

• 6:17Speaker 02

  Strange. Yeah. She's like, oh, she's out of the country. Where is she? What's she doing?

• 6:20Speaker 01

  That's my job.

• 6:21Speaker 02

  So I got out, I got, obviously, of course, I treated myself to.

• 6:25Speaker 01

  A weed pen.

• 6:26Speaker 02

  A weed pen and a bag of edibles. And on the front of the bag of edibles, I went into the cannabis shopping centre, did my shop, did my weekly shop.

• 6:32Speaker 01

  How much does that cost?

• 6:33Speaker 02

  Well, I, you know, I have absolutely no idea what. What the South African rand is.

• 6:37Speaker 01

  How much is a bottle of water, Joan?

• 6:38Speaker 02

  I could not tell you. I had no, obviously I don't, I don't know how to do maths or anything. And I don't know how much a rand is. And I had to really check myself. I started using a currency converter because I tipped a girl in a restaurant and she hugged me. And I was like, what have I done? What have I done? What have I done? She was like, thank you so much. And I was like, fuck, give me that back. What have I given you? Then I was like, I need to start paying attention.

• 7:01Speaker 01

  How much is a weed pen in South Africa?

• 7:03Speaker 02

  I'd say it varies on whatever weed you're getting.

• 7:05Speaker 03

  One pound, sorry, I'll do euro in a minute. One pound is 23 rand.

• 7:12Speaker 01

  Here, on your work laptop, Google how much a weed pen is in South Africa.

• 7:16Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 7:17Speaker 02

  And Bonnie Blue while you're there, go on.

• 7:19Speaker 01

  Stop, I need to, I want to talk about her.

• 7:21Speaker 03

  One euro is 19 rand. So weed, pen.

• 7:25Speaker 02

  Got the cannabis shopping centre in Sea Point, that's where I was. That's where I did my weekly shop.

• 7:30Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah. They've got an online.

• 7:32Speaker 02

  Very efficient, lovely shop. It was like Spar but for weed.

• 7:35Speaker 03

  About 50 euro.

• 7:37Speaker 02

  Grant, yeah, it's great value.

• 7:38Speaker 01

  I said 50 euro.

• 7:39Speaker 02

  Yeah, great value.

• 7:41Speaker 01

  Maybe I'm a secret stoner.

• 7:42Speaker 02

  I bought a bag of edibles and a weed pen and off I went. And there was no one, no one had arrived yet because I was out a couple of days before the lads came out.

• 7:50Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 7:51Speaker 02

  And on the front of the pack of the edibles, it said, very, very strong. And I had a friend out there and my friend was saying, oh, they always say that, don't worry about it. They just say that to eat, yeah, they just say that to eat more than you, or sorry, they just say that to kind of cover themselves. That's what he said.

• 8:04Speaker 01

  Yeah. How many did you eat?

• 8:06Speaker 02

  Well, I don't know what I can say on the podcast.

• 8:09Speaker 01

  You ate a whole bag?

• 8:09Speaker 02

  Are you insane?

• 8:10Speaker 01

  Well, I don't know.

• 8:12Speaker 02

  It doesn't matter how many I ate. The point is, I definitely ate too many. And, and do you know when you're like, oh no, here we go. Uh oh. Oh no. And there's nothing you can do. There's nothing you can do. They're in the system. You can't get them out. I was like, will I try and get sick? And I was like, no, we're not going down that road again.

• 8:29Speaker 01

  You can't, it's already gone into your mind.

• 8:31Speaker 02

  I'm not relapsing on an edible. So I was like, no, no, no, no, no. Here we go. Do you know when you're like, it's like you're on a wall, so you're like, here we go. Came to.

• 8:39Speaker 01

  Were you at home or out?

• 8:40Speaker 02

  I was in the Airbnb.

• 8:41Speaker 01

  Okay, that's okay, at least.

• 8:42Speaker 02

  No, no, no, I was in, I was in a safe and safe, secured.

• 8:45Speaker 01

  Once you're alone, yeah.

• 8:46Speaker 02

  And I came to standing in the pool and I was like, oh no, no.

• 8:51Speaker 01

  No.

• 8:52Speaker 02

  Oh no. And then I'd come to and I was like, Joanne, you're in Cape Town. Cause you don't know where you are.

• 8:57Speaker 01

  Oh god, I'd hate that.

• 8:58Speaker 02

  You're in, there was nothing I could do. And I was like, okay, we're gonna sleep it off, we're gonna sleep it off. And then I'd be kinda laughing. And then I'd come to in another room.

• 9:05Speaker 01

  And can you sleep? No.

• 9:06Speaker 02

  Well, of course you can. I was like, sleep it off. Just closed my eyes and sure you can imagine what happened then. Oh, hell broke loose.

• 9:12Speaker 01

  Oh my god.

• 9:12Speaker 02

  I was like, oh, oh no.

• 9:15Speaker 01

  No.

• 9:16Speaker 02

  Anyway, and then I just nibbled the edibles.

• 9:18Speaker 01

  How have you not learned your lesson?

• 9:20Speaker 02

  I don't know. I just don't learn that.

• 9:22Speaker 01

  A little nibble here, a little.

• 9:23Speaker 02

  No, I just refuse to learn. It's weird.

• 9:26Speaker 01

  Oh, well, I mean, we all do, in fairness.

• 9:28Speaker 02

  Then at the end, I was like, I don't wanna waste all this stuff. So I gave it to a friend of mine. And he's like, Joanne, these are all, it's like a mouse had this bag. I was like, I just nibble now, just nibble, I just nibble. Anyway, I kept the weed pen on me for as long as I could. So I dropped it at the end, at the airport going in. Cause you can't obviously fly it around, cause that is mutiling. And so I was like.

• 9:46Speaker 01

  Illegal?

• 9:46Speaker 02

  Illegal. So I don't wanna break the law. And it's all legal over there, which is fine. But anyway, I really, I was like, I better get the mouse out of this weed pen. And then I'm fucking, and then I'm in the airport, I'm like, oh no, here we go again. Do you know, people say the munchies. It's not, there's nothing munchy about it. It's full blown grotesque, violent.

• 10:07Speaker 01

  And bottomless piss.

• 10:09Speaker 02

  I ate, I couldn't even tell you. I came to you on the flight, covered in Turkish delight wrappers.

• 10:13Speaker 01

  Oh, yuck.

• 10:14Speaker 02

  Family pack of Turkish delights, two Pringles, a tube, two.

• 10:17Speaker 01

  Who the hell eats Turkish, what? You like Turkish, you don't even like Turkish delights.

• 10:21Speaker 02

  I do, I love them.

• 10:22Speaker 01

  You like them?

• 10:23Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 10:23Speaker 01

  Both of you do?

• 10:24Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 10:25Speaker 01

  You're fucking disgusting.

• 10:26Speaker 02

  I know, it's weird. I was also caught, it was like.

• 10:29Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 10:30Speaker 02

  I don't know what I had to do. And I'm not talking.

• 10:31Speaker 01

  You just leave the whole way home then?

• 10:32Speaker 02

  This isn't me, I don't like to put negative connotations on food or anything like that. There's no such thing.

• 10:38Speaker 01

  I'm sorry, does, a Turkish delight's disgusting. Everyone knows that. You can say that.

• 10:42Speaker 02

  I didn't mean Turkish delights, I just meant as in, gorging on, binging on food. It's all fine. It's great. It was just the shock at how much I was able to put away.

• 10:52Speaker 01

  That's like me when I'm hungover.

• 10:53Speaker 02

  Yeah, no, this was no vogue. Sorry, this was next level. This was, this was very much not a natural state to be in. There was just no ending to it. And then I got on the plane, I had my, my one dinner. And then I said, can I have another dinner, please? And she was like, what? And I said, can I have a second dinner, please? Because there's always dinners floating around on planes. She's like, okay.

• 11:12Speaker 01

  I've never seen anyone ask for a second dinner.

• 11:15Speaker 02

  I had my hand up. Second dinner, please. Like I was in skill. She brings me a second tiny dinner because they're fucking tiny. I go to sleep, wake up, I'm hungry again. Who gets hungry on a plane? I literally haven't, I haven't done anything. I've just sat there.

• 11:28Speaker 01

  A plane is for just eating constantly.

• 11:31Speaker 02

  Well, Jesus Christ, did I do that? Anyway, my point is, it's great. I'm glad to get a break from, well, I love being in the sun.

• 11:37Speaker 01

  The weed.

• 11:38Speaker 02

  It's nice to come home, yeah, to get a break from the pen.

• 11:40Speaker 01

  Well, I have bad news for you. I know we're not anymore in, in dry Jan, but I just, I can't do it to myself anymore. And I know I keep saying it. I went out for my brother's birthday to Trump. Didn't see Prince Andrew there. But I went and we went out and then I had to ring Amber. Amber, of all people. I had to ring her and say, Amber, do I need to be concerned about? Because, you know, it's Monday morning and I was, I was still kind of happy yesterday and still kind of like, just like, woo.

• 12:05Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 12:06Speaker 01

  And then I woke up saying, I was like, did I say anything that I need to be concerned about? And then I was like.

• 12:11Speaker 02

  You're always very well behaved.

• 12:13Speaker 01

  Oh, but you know what? I had to check my taxi app and I was like, Amber, there's no, there's no recent taxi online.

• 12:20Speaker 01

  How did we get home? I don't, and I was like, that's it for me now. I'm not, that's, and I know I keep saying this. But that there's at least three or four weeks of where I'm not drinking again.

• 12:28Speaker 02

  Yeah, that's fine. Do it. Yeah, it's okay. No one's, no one's forcing you to drink. I, I've said this for ages. I don't think you should.

• 12:35Speaker 01

  It's the bloody, honestly, I just, I still.

• 12:38Speaker 02

  Really affect you.

• 12:38Speaker 01

  I still have the fear really badly, even though Amber told me it's fine. Then I text Alexander to make sure.

• 12:45Speaker 01

  Because Alexander came back. I woke up in Amber's bed and she hates sleeping with people in my coat. And I was like, in my coat, and Amber was like, get out. And this is at like half eight in the morning. And I was like, Amber, first of all, fuck you, waking me up like that when I'm fast asleep. And then I had to go back upstairs and sleep till eleven. I was in bits.

• 13:11Speaker 01

  Cut out loads of my fucks, Jo, I'm having a bad day for it.

• 13:14Speaker 02

  You've the worst potty mouth ever.

• 13:16Speaker 01

  It's so bad. My mom's like, my mom's always like, "Why are you swearing so much?" And I said, "Sandra, I remember you used to sit us down and you used to teach us how to swear and you used to make us spell out the swear word."

• 13:27Speaker 02

  But you weren't always like that.

• 13:27Speaker 01

  I did not, you're disgusting.

• 13:30Speaker 02

  So what I found is, what I, because I was on the dating apps a little bit in Cape Town and I did a bit of dating.

• 13:37Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 13:38Speaker 02

  More just, more just out of, more just research.

• 13:40Speaker 01

  What were their names and were they South African?

• 13:42Speaker 02

  I feel like men are my specialist topic and I'm always willing to learn more, I always want to learn more about them. And were they what?

• 13:49Speaker 01

  Were they South African?

• 13:50Speaker 02

  Yes, they were South African.

• 13:51Speaker 01

  I absolutely love the South African accent, my fa- one of my favourite accents. East London, South African.

• 13:55Speaker 02

  Yeah, I don't mind it, it wouldn't be my, I'd much rather a London accent now than East London.

• 13:59Speaker 01

  Yeah, East London.

• 14:00Speaker 02

  It's nice, but it's, it's quite clippy or something.

• 14:03Speaker 01

  Oh no, very attracted to that.

• 14:04Speaker 02

  It's gippy, it's gippy.

• 14:06Speaker 01

  It is clippy.

• 14:06Speaker 02

  It's gippy. But anyway, they're mad for, like, because it's a really fish place, it's all, it's like beach culture, sunny, it's kind of like Bondi vibes. Can't remember where I was. I couldn't get a man to suggest going for a drink, no matter how hard I tried.

• 14:21Speaker 01

  What do they want, they just...

• 14:22Speaker 02

  Water sports. Do we go for a dip? Are you fucking insane? I'm trying to have a one night stand, Jürgen.

• 14:31Speaker 02

  What are we gonna do after our morning dip? What are we gonna do then, just ride in the sand?

• 14:34Speaker 01

  Stand and go see.

• 14:36Speaker 02

  Ride in the dunes. No, we're gonna go for dinner and drinks like normal people. So eventually I was just like, "Look, I don't swim," I just said to all of them, "I don't swim, don't be trying to put me in the water."

• 14:44Speaker 01

  That wasn't even a lie.

• 14:45Speaker 02

  You know, "I can swim," I was like, "I can swim. I'm not going kayaking, I'm not going, I'm not going paragliding with a stranger."

• 14:51Speaker 01

  No, paragliding isn't even fun, have you done it? It's crap.

• 14:55Speaker 02

  And one of my friends here, because I was saying it to her and she said randomly, she went on a date with a guy from South Africa in London and the same thing, he wanted to do some sort of kite surfing. So I guess that that's their culture, but I found it difficult, I struggled.

• 15:08Speaker 01

  Oh my god, that's just reminded me that like, that's what I'm like as a friend. No wonder no one wants to do anything with me because I'm always like, "Will we go for a run? Let's go for a walk, run, walk, gym together, will we go to this gym class?"

• 15:19Speaker 02

  That's why I haven't seen...

• 15:20Speaker 01

  No.

• 15:21Speaker 02

  You haven't seen me on a Sunday in a very long time. Been a very long time.

• 15:25Speaker 01

  I'm literally always like, I've just made myself a run date recently and they always cancel as well. People agree to it and then they're like, no, I actually can't go now.

• 15:33Speaker 02

  But I think that's really nice because I think you should have those people who meet those needs. Like different people meet different needs and you should have people who'll run with you and all that jazz.

• 15:41Speaker 01

  I have one friend, Rachel, who'll go for a run with me. No one else does.

• 15:43Speaker 02

  Yeah, you should. What you need to do, it's like what I, I've done a little bit is I'm trying to meet people with similar interests. As I'm older, I like to meet interesting, single women who like a drink and they like a date and they like to go to shows or whatever that is. And you need to meet.

• 15:58Speaker 01

  I like to go for, not a drink, I like to go for shows.

• 16:02Speaker 02

  Yeah, but you're not, you're not single and you don't really go to pubs. And that is like what I, that's like my whole.

• 16:08Speaker 01

  I hate the pub. I really hate the pub. I hate it. I think it's because my dad had me in them for so long when I was younger. Like I've spent more time in pubs than you have, I guarantee it. Because growing up.

• 16:17Speaker 02

  That's just in a way, that's factually correct.

• 16:18Speaker 01

  That's a hundred percent true. Growing up, my entire childhood was spent in a pub.

• 16:22Speaker 02

  Yeah, but he's dead now and I'm still going, so.

• 16:29Speaker 02

  I'd say I'm about two weeks away from me clipping as records.

• 16:31Speaker 01

  You and Freddie would have been a great couple.

• 16:32Speaker 02

  We would have hooked up, you know that.

• 16:34Speaker 01

  Oh my, don't be disgusting now, you wouldn't have done anything weird.

• 16:37Speaker 02

  We would have. Ah, you know, we would have, no. There would have been a vibe. I maybe wouldn't have acted on it because I had respect for you, but there definitely would have been a vibe.

• 16:44Speaker 01

  Do you ever fancy anyone's dad?

• 16:46Speaker 02

  Yeah, I'm attracted to older men.

• 16:48Speaker 01

  Well, how old did you go? Because I say this to Amber, I'd go 55 now, I think, because I'm nearly 40, so I'd go up to 55.

• 16:54Speaker 02

  Hmm. The problem is, as someone who is actively on the market.

• 16:59Speaker 01

  What do you have your profile set to?

• 17:02Speaker 02

  Well, I have it set. So I think I'm minus set, like, I think, well, hold on, Joanne, be honest now. I'm like the Beckhams, be honest, be honest. I'm like, 35, be honest. Okay, it's 27. Twenty seven, no, I think it's like thirty.

• 17:16Speaker 01

  You went, no, okay.

• 17:18Speaker 02

  Thirty to fifty, I think. But I, when I was.

• 17:20Speaker 01

  Only to fi- you don't need to go to fifty.

• 17:22Speaker 02

  I have to check, will I check?

• 17:24Speaker 01

  Put it back up, put it, I guarantee you, put it up to fifty five.

• 17:27Speaker 02

  There was a guy in Cape Town, I'm, I never, I felt quite old in Cape Town, actually, because the la- they were all obsessed with the fact I was forty one. Anyone I matched with, they're like, you're forty one. And I was like, yeah. And this guy mess- we matched and he wrote, forty one, yuck. I went, excuse me?

• 17:42Speaker 01

  Joanna, at least he's honest.

• 17:43Speaker 02

  I said, excuse me? And he goes, it's a joke. And as I always say to men who insult and call it a joke, I said, I write jokes for, I don't write jokes for a living, obviously, I've never written a joke in my life. I try to, but they don't, they don't know that. I said, I'm actually, I do jokes for a living and you'd really wanna fucking work on your jokes, mate. And he goes, oh, I'm gonna get given out to now, am I? Forty one, yuck.

• 18:05Speaker 01

  To be fair, forty one is a bit yuck.

• 18:06Speaker 02

  I wish I'd said, five foot eight, yuck.

• 18:12Speaker 02

  Five foot eight, yuck. Disgusting.

• 18:16Speaker 01

  What do you have it at? What do you have it at? I'd put that up to fifty five.

• 18:19Speaker 02

  Let's check.

• 18:20Speaker 01

  You're missing all the really wealthy, normal guys. Put it up to sixty.

• 18:23Speaker 02

  Oh, I'm interested, my, here are my preferences. I'm interested in.

• 18:28Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 18:28Speaker 02

  Men. For now.

• 18:32Speaker 01

  I think you're really closing yourself off, but go on, anyway.

• 18:36Speaker 02

  Age range, I've thirty two to fifty.

• 18:38Speaker 01

  I think I'd go up to fifty five.

• 18:41Speaker 02

  Would you?

• 18:41Speaker 01

  Yeah, definitely. I'd do fifty five. That's only fifteen years, sixteen years.

• 18:45Speaker 02

  I don't even know why I give a shit. I've absolutely no interest in, I've no interest in getting married or, I don't know why I'm even bothering.

• 18:50Speaker 01

  Oh, don't bother, don't bother getting married, no way.

• 18:53Speaker 02

  Oh, no, no, I'm, no, no fucking interest in that. Not a hope. I'd put it up to sixty two, we'll just see what happens.

• 18:58Speaker 01

  I mean, sixty two.

• 18:59Speaker 02

  Twenty three to sixty two.

• 19:00Speaker 01

  He can't be, I just, I think.

• 19:02Speaker 02

  Twenty three to sixty two. Twenty two to sixty two, okay.

• 19:05Speaker 01

  I'll just do whatever.

• 19:07Speaker 02

  Buy a hat, guys.

• 19:12Speaker 01

  I want to talk to you about the Boys on documentary because you were watching it.

• 19:15Speaker 02

  Oh, yes, let's go.

• 19:17Speaker 01

  Now, I didn't watch the whole thing. Obviously, I had to turn it off when Ronan started managing another band.

• 19:21Speaker 02

  Oh, hold on, sorry, no spoilers. I've only watched episode one.

• 19:24Speaker 01

  Yeah, that was it. That's the only one that's out.

• 19:26Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 19:26Speaker 03

  At time of recording.

• 19:27Speaker 01

  At time of recording.

• 19:29Speaker 02

  Firstly, sorry, before you go into that, let's break this down. Let's start at the start and unpack it. I was sitting there, minding my own business, watching the Boys on documentary, and each one of them appeared, and they're all good-looking lads, and they always were good-looking lads.

• 19:41Speaker 01

  Oh, sorry, I met Shane the other day as well, I forgot to tell you.

• 19:44Speaker 02

  Did you?

• 19:45Speaker 01

  I had a huge crush on him. I fancied the pants off Shane, and he came up and he goes, "Hi, Vogue", I was like...

• 19:50Speaker 02

  No way!

• 19:51Speaker 01

  My...

• 19:51Speaker 02

  Shane Lynch?

• 19:52Speaker 01

  Yeah, my nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen, fifteen, sixteen, seventeen, eighteen, nineteen, twenty-year-old self would have died. He's still all right. Smelt lovely.

• 20:00Speaker 02

  Nine? I mean, are you that much younger than us?

• 20:04Speaker 01

  Yeah, I am, actually.

• 20:04Speaker 02

  Nine?

• 20:05Speaker 01

  Nine.

• 20:06Speaker 02

  Nine.

• 20:07Speaker 01

  Do you want to take me on for this?

• 20:10Speaker 02

  Are you saying you were nine?

• 20:12Speaker 01

  I was nine. When did Boys on start?

• 20:14Speaker 02

  Let's get the facts here.

• 20:16Speaker 01

  Tell this old bat she can't remember anything.

• 20:19Speaker 03

  Boys on were act- they were active from 1993.

• 20:23Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah, you were?

• 20:25Speaker 01

  Yeah, I was actually eight.

• 20:25Speaker 02

  Yeah, and I was ten.

• 20:27Speaker 01

  Eight.

• 20:27Speaker 02

  Hold on a second.

• 20:29Speaker 01

  Yeah, I remember because it was like the first person that I, like, well, no, because I fancied Liam Gallagher and Eric Cantona, so that was my eight-year-old fancy, and then when I got into Boys on a bit, it was always Shane Lynch.

• 20:39Speaker 02

  Yeah, he was the hot one, and no offence, Shane, I hope you don't mind me saying this, but then I've, I've an aversion to any men who are religious.

• 20:48Speaker 01

  It's, I don't think he's religious anymore, is he?

• 20:50Speaker 02

  He was Christian for a while.

• 20:53Speaker 02

  He was Christian. I won't engage with any lads on app who say they're Christian, I'm like, good luck.

• 20:57Speaker 01

  No, no, no, no.

• 20:57Speaker 02

  Not a hope.

• 20:58Speaker 01

  Imagine having to go to mass again on a Sunday. No way!

• 21:01Speaker 02

  I don't think they go. I think they're, I think Christianity is this, it's all, it's all, it all starts with a bit of wellness, right? Once, it starts with an ice bath, the next thing, they're Christian, and I just don't trust the whole process. I want nothing to do with it.

• 21:12Speaker 01

  No, I don't really want to get involved in churchy stuff because I, I had to, like, we had to go to mass until we were about nine, when the priest said second marriages were wrong, and then my mom let us make the choice, and I'm like, she thinks I'm going back in there? No way!

• 21:23Speaker 02

  I don't think those Christian lads go to church. I think it's just like the way, what they, the way they live their lives or believe. Anyway, the whole thing, it's, they might as well be in Episcopalian, as far as I'm concerned, it's fucking weird.

• 21:33Speaker 01

  Anyway.

• 21:33Speaker 02

  Sorry, go on.

• 21:34Speaker 01

  I, so Louis Walsh obviously got a real battering in the documentary and he was, he was in it. I, like, I. I have met Louis quite a few times and he is, you, you can't deny he's good at what he does. He made Sumat the Mumba, who she is. He did Boyzone, he did another band, I forget what they're called. So anyway, so Louis did all them, but then they were talking about their rise to fame. And Stephen Gately was not so, he was only thirty-three when he died.

• 21:59Speaker 02

  I know. He seemed much, that's why I guess it is right that we were much younger, because he seemed kind of older.

• 22:03Speaker 01

  Absolutely terrible, but what I found so funny watching the documentary, so they, obviously there's a clip of them on the Late Late Show, which is one of my absolute favourite clips. Of all time, but basically Ronan was saying that like they had no songs or anything to sing, so they were just told to go on the Late Late Show. And just dance and just stand there and dance. Imagine just being like, we actually, sorry, what do you want us to do? There's nothing rehearsed, nothing, they're just going on and dancing.

• 22:25Speaker 02

  It was very, it was very early days and they got booked to do the Late Late, so they were like, right, we're doing it. It'd be like us going out in the three arena and just being like, all right, okay, I guess we're just, I know, we did dance, but like, we did talk before we danced.

• 22:37Speaker 01

  I tried to do that dance again, by the way, I forgot it already. God, we were shite at that, weren't we?

• 22:42Speaker 02

  We were shite at that. Um, but yeah, and the, but one of the lads was saying, he's like, I, I, he's, I think it was, I think it was Keith. He was like, I don't have a love hate relationship with that video. He's like, I just hate it. Yeah, he's like, I hate it.

• 22:54Speaker 01

  I know that they hate it, but like for, we really love it, yeah, but we really love it. Come on, you have to give something to the world. I've given out loads of great pictures. Come on, you gotta give that. But I, Keith was saying as well, he was like, for their first single that they were recording, um, Louis only flew over. Ronan, Mikey and Shane, not Shane, Ronan, Mikey and Stephen, because they were the only ones that sang and they couldn't afford to fly anyone else over. And Keith said he was really upset about it, but like, they had no money to fly them over. There were certain parts, but like, I loved Boyzone, but there were certain parts, I just thought. It's a little bit whingey about certain things.

• 23:29Speaker 02

  Oh, come on. Imagine being in a band and they're like, actually, you're not going to be on the album at all. You're like, so what's the point? What is the point of this?

• 23:35Speaker 01

  Ah, listen, I wouldn't expect to be on the album. I'm also a shite singer.

• 23:38Speaker 02

  Fair. You're like, I'll just lip sync from home.

• 23:41Speaker 01

  Yeah, I'll just do the dancing in the background. I'd just be happy to be there. I'd be like, woo! I haven't watched the whole thing yet, though.

• 23:48Speaker 02

  I did see that and apparently Keith's parents ended up paying for him to go to London to record the song. Yeah, I mean, Louis, like, all that stuff. I'm not surprised they don't like Louis. It's like, you're kind of pitching them all against each other. It's not great.

• 24:00Speaker 01

  They'd only two working mics and three dummy mics. They had to swap them around. I know, but you always have the best singers who do most of the singing. Everyone in the band doesn't have to be a great singer.

• 24:08Speaker 02

  Oh, well, no, but I guess.

• 24:09Speaker 01

  Look at Pussycat Dolls, Nicole Scherzinger. That was basically Nicole Scherzinger. They just, they literally didn't eat, like, the other girls were treated like dancers, even though they are so talented.

• 24:18Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 24:18Speaker 01

  But like, it was only Nicole Scherzinger.

• 24:20Speaker 02

  Yeah, I can just, I can see why they'd be, I don't know, I felt for them. And you're always in these documentaries, there always needs to be a bit of jeopardy. We need the kind of, you need those little moments where you're like, oh my god. I forgot they were as big as they were, to be honest.

• 24:35Speaker 01

  I know, so did I, because I think that, like, I was into them, but then I moved on from them on to Oasis and stuff like that and Prodigy, because I was being really cool.

• 24:41Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 24:42Speaker 01

  But like, all of us loved them when we were younger.

• 24:44Speaker 02

  Totally. And obviously I had a huge crush on Stephen Gailey, and I felt so bad.

• 24:48Speaker 01

  Did you?

• 24:49Speaker 02

  Yeah, because he's like the key one.

• 24:50Speaker 01

  You didn't fancy Shane?

• 24:51Speaker 02

  I fancied Shane when my balls dropped. Before my balls dropped, I fancied Stephen Gailey.

• 24:54Speaker 01

  Oh, my god, now always Shane.

• 24:56Speaker 02

  And he spent the whole time freaked that someone was going to out him and everything.

• 24:59Speaker 01

  Oh, that was so bad. It was the fourth thing.

• 25:02Speaker 02

  I know, because he was like, that's it, if people know I'm gay. Because this was back, like, it's not obviously that long ago, but like, he thought it would ruin his career. He thought it would ruin his career. It was back still at the stage where people were hiding on Sex and the

• 25:14Speaker 01

  You still have mad shit about that with footballers and stuff that won't come out and say that they're gay.

• 25:17Speaker 02

  Yeah. I hope it's changing.

• 25:20Speaker 01

  Well, it is changing a little bit, but not in certain sports.

• 25:23Speaker 02

  Anyway, anyway, it's a great documentary. Highly recommend.

• 25:26Speaker 01

  Do watch it, Suns Guy.

• 25:35Speaker 02

  Forty-one, yuck.

• 25:39Speaker 03

  Fuck you.

• 25:41Speaker 02

  Well, that is exactly what I said, Jo.

• 25:46Speaker 02

  Oh, sorry, can I just throw in the mix here, talk about the Boys on Documentary? I was shocked to my core when I saw Ronan Keating jacked and tattooed to within an inch of his life.

• 25:57Speaker 01

  Yeah, but Joanne, you said you don't like a holy man. He says "God bless" all the time.

• 26:01Speaker 02

  Ah, I say "God bless" all the time. I don't mean it.

• 26:03Speaker 01

  Ever say, I've never heard you say "God bless".

• 26:06Speaker 02

  No, sorry. Do you know what I say a lot? "Thank God". When I don't, I've no interest in thanking him at all. I don't even believe he's real.

• 26:11Speaker 01

  "God bless" and "thank God" are very different things.

• 26:13Speaker 02

  He's very "God bless", yeah.

• 26:14Speaker 01

  You say "God bless", "God bless".

• 26:16Speaker 02

  I say "thank God" a lot. And I'm not, I don't know why I'm crediting God. He's not even, doesn't even exist.

• 26:20Speaker 01

  Oh my God, I remember when Svenny and I did our live shows and like he would call Ronan Keating because he was trying to show off that he had a famous person in his phone and Ronan Keating was like one of the most famous.

• 26:30Speaker 02

  He wouldn't call me, you know.

• 26:32Speaker 01

  Little prick. You wouldn't answer, you absolute wanker.

• 26:36Speaker 02

  I'm like, "Sventer, don't think so!". Screaming that call.

• 26:39Speaker 01

  I know they're on stage, I'm not getting paid for that. Get lost.

• 26:47Speaker 01

  Okay, so Bonnie Blue slapped 1,057 guys in 12 hours. Basically, there was a 20-year-old guy, by the way, that went in to sleep with Bonnie Blue, did you see that? And his mother came in screaming the place in. I'd go absolutely crazy. And I actually, like, I know that we've spoken about Bonnie Blue before and we're trying to be really non-critical, but like, I don't agree with her. I think she's setting really bad examples and it makes me worried.

• 27:14Speaker 02

  I think, you see, I just, I'm like, I think that's our instinct is to go after her, but she's just doing, she's just working in the sex industry. Women have been doing that since the fucking 19th.

• 27:23Speaker 01

  I know, but like, just do it. But why do you have to have this whole thing where you want to sleep with over 1,000 guys? And then there's another girl that is on, what's it called, OnlyFans. Her name is Lily Phillips and they're trying to one-up each other. So Lily Phillips has said she wants to have anal sex with as many guys as possible. And it's actually, the implications of that, like Bonnie Blue as well, like it's really, it's not good for your health to be doing that. You're like, you're not designed to be able to have sex with 1,057 guys in 12 hours. To do that... In your ass.

• 27:53Speaker 02

  I know, it's terrible.

• 27:54Speaker 01

  It's not like, but people are like, like you could be incontinent for the rest of your life. Like, it's just, and what, for one upmanship on each other?

• 28:01Speaker 02

  Well, do I, this is what I actually think. I think OnlyFans is putting, my problem with OnlyFans is that I think it's making sex work way too accessible for girls.

• 28:10Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 28:10Speaker 02

  But I think it's making it safer for old school sex workers. It means they don't have to be out in the street anymore. They can do it from the privacy of their own home and it's safe. So with that, I have conflicting feelings about OnlyFans. This is them trying to drive traffic to their page, but they are just, they're just, it's, it's, it's the men buying it as well. It's not the girls. I think before, cause sex work was kind of hidden. We didn't see it, it wasn't as obvious, whereas now it's all over Instagram. Also, there was gonna say-

• 28:36Speaker 01

  I have so many as well on Instagram, like thousands of males asking me to join these wordies online and all these like sex camp things. If you go into your males, like that's, there's so many of them. It's like, oh wow.

• 28:50Speaker 02

  Well, now that I planted that thirst trap and kept down, maybe things will pick up for me, but I didn't get any of them.

• 28:54Speaker 01

  But I just think it's like, ugh.

• 28:56Speaker 02

  What I find infuriating about the Bonnie thing, and she's trolling us now, it's all like rage bait. But she's like to the men, when you need to cheat on your wife, buy the perfume that your wife wears to your, for your new girlfriend. So your wife will never smell that you're cheating. Like, she's doing all this rage bait stuff and I do find that completely infuriating, cause I'm wired to find that infuriating. And she knows what she's doing. That woman must have the thickest skin of any woman, because so many people are hating on her.

• 29:21Speaker 01

  I just feel like a lot of young girls who end up going, like Charlie Sheen's daughter ended up going on OnlyFans. And it's just like, you're going to regret that. Like, that's such a huge life choice to make at 18, that then that's what you're known as for the rest of your life. When you mightn't even know what you're getting yourself into. Think of yourself at 18. Like, I was a disaster at 18.

• 29:38Speaker 02

  I was a virgin.

• 29:39Speaker 01

  Yeah, me too.

• 29:40Speaker 02

  Chance of me being on OnlyFans, it's like, what am I doing here? It would have been quite the baptism of fire.

• 29:49Speaker 02

  Go from absolute gentle fingering myself with a candlestick to getting, do an anal with a thousand lads for attention. Jesus Christ.

• 29:57Speaker 01

  God, it's so, it's so like, it's like, but Bonnie Blue is just, she's a bit grim. Like she's coming out and she's like, well, I don't really care if I get HIV. And it's like, yeah, you do.

• 30:06Speaker 02

  She does, but she's doing that.

• 30:07Speaker 01

  Yeah, you do.

• 30:07Speaker 02

  She's doing it exactly to bring this reaction out of people like you. And then it just gives her more business. And I also think she deserves the business because ultimately she's just using a system that has existed since the dinosaurs. And men have been paying women for sex since the dinosaurs. It's not going anywhere. The anal thing, I'm like, I hear. Like, what are you actually, you must be, you would have to.

• 30:29Speaker 01

  That actually makes me tense my ass.

• 30:31Speaker 02

  You must when you're recruiting. Yeah. Cause it's the last time she'll be able to do it. God, Lord.

• 30:35Speaker 01

  Oh God, can you imagine?

• 30:37Speaker 02

  I suppose it's like.

• 30:39Speaker 01

  Would it get easy? Oh no, I just don't know. No, I just don't know.

• 30:42Speaker 02

  I'm a bit like, well, how do we deal with it? Because we don't want to be slagging them. Cause it's ultimately, it's the fucking lads.

• 30:49Speaker 01

  I think it's them as well as the lads. It's not just the lads.

• 30:51Speaker 02

  Well, they're making a lot of money and then they're looking at these young ones on TikTok with their Prada handbags. And when you're 18, you're 19, you feel very sexy. You're coming into your own. We didn't obviously, but.

• 30:59Speaker 01

  I did not feel sexy.

• 31:01Speaker 02

  They're way more advanced than we were, do you know?

• 31:03Speaker 01

  Hundred percent.

• 31:04Speaker 02

  Yeah. They're way more advanced.

• 31:05Speaker 01

  Do you remember when we used to go out with the glitter? Did you used to put the glitter on your, on your cheekbones?

• 31:09Speaker 02

  Yeah, it would go into my eyes, my little blind hair. But the, the, you do feel like it's not doing much to advance the female cause. However, then you have to go, oh, maybe, but they're women kind of using men to pay their bills. So we should support that. It's all very, this is always my stance on it. It's confusing. It's confusing. I'm confused by the whole thing. I'm confused. But I'm going to tell you now, a thousand lads with anal, I hope she has a gurney on her. I hope she gets wheeled off her surgery straight away. God love her.

• 31:43Speaker 01

  But you know what? But you know what? When I did my sex documentary and I went into this, a sex dungeon in London. I went into this sex dungeon and like it's history, like it's underground and like they have all these sex toys that people borrow and you put them in a box and you're done.

• 31:56Speaker 02

  What?

• 31:57Speaker 01

  This, what do you mean? You put them in a box and you're done? You put them in a box and then they wash them. People reuse them. They go in, they borrow the sex dungeon. There's like a cage.

• 32:03Speaker 02

  I thought it was like a museum where you go, oh, look at this, what they use in medieval England. Oh, you can borrow them.

• 32:08Speaker 01

  You buy, so you go in there, you rent it out with your partner or partners. There's a little cage and everything in there and the walls are full of sex toys. Not fun, but anyway, so you put them, you put them in a box when you're finished, so then they're washed for the next person to use. But the size of some of the dildos in there, they are like the size of your arm and they are like, there is prolapse written all over them.

• 32:34Speaker 02

  Well, it depends how much anal you're having, because if you're having, if you're doing, if you're doing a thousand a day, you know what I mean?

• 32:41Speaker 01

  I think that would come out my nose. It would, they're so big. Oh god.

• 32:45Speaker 02

  Well, Lily, look, we wish you the best of luck. You've, these, this is, these are the.

• 32:50Speaker 01

  They're gonna deal with Pampers next.

• 32:51Speaker 02

  She's the, she's this.

• 32:54Speaker 02

  God love her. I'm just like, what? I just don't, I don't know. I don't know. It just, the whole thing is just really strange.

• 33:06Speaker 01

  When you talk about like being a virgin at 18, like so was I, but like I was so terrified back then of being called a slut because it was the worst thing in the world.

• 33:13Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 33:13Speaker 01

  Yet the boys were never like.

• 33:15Speaker 02

  No, it's so.

• 33:15Speaker 01

  But still, but still now.

• 33:17Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 33:17Speaker 01

  And it's just like.

• 33:18Speaker 02

  But you know who makes up those rules? Man.

• 33:23Speaker 02

  Sorry, Jo, but you're the only one in the room.

• 33:25Speaker 01

  Would you like to apologize for us?

• 33:27Speaker 03

  I'm sorry.

• 33:28Speaker 02

  Men want a virgin who's great in the sack. You're like, how do you think I learnt how to do this? Do you think I just sat there watching DIY videos? I have to have experience to be able to ride you well. If I was a shit ride, you wouldn't be here. They just don't want to know how you learnt. I was hanging out with a guy who called all women tarts and he said it was like a term of endearment and I was like, that's not a term of endearment. Calling women tarts like that.

• 33:51Speaker 01

  No, I don't want to be called a tart.

• 33:53Speaker 02

  No, it's not cute.

• 33:54Speaker 01

  I don't even like being called a bird though. Like, no, no.

• 33:57Speaker 02

  Yeah. Do you know what I do love though? I love being called love by a taxi man.

• 34:01Speaker 01

  Yeah, I do like that. I like being called darling as well.

• 34:03Speaker 02

  Yeah, I don't find it, it's not in a sexy way. It's just.

• 34:06Speaker 01

  Will you start calling me darling?

• 34:07Speaker 02

  Will you call me love?

• 34:08Speaker 01

  I'll call you love.

• 34:09Speaker 02

  Yeah. I've ne- I'll call you darling and do you know what as well? I'll call you honey.

• 34:12Speaker 01

  Do you know what love? You're dead, right?

• 34:13Speaker 02

  Yeah. I really want to go, I want to be the kind of person who can call someone honey.

• 34:18Speaker 01

  I don't want, no, I'd rather darling.

• 34:19Speaker 02

  Would you?

• 34:20Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 34:20Speaker 02

  Okay darling.

• 34:21Speaker 01

  And I'll give you love. Okay.

• 34:22Speaker 02

  No, I'd like honey.

• 34:24Speaker 01

  Love, honey, I'm, I'm delighted.

• 34:27Speaker 02

  Darling, it's so great to see you. It's so great to see you. What do you want, Jo?

• 34:30Speaker 03

  Puppet.

• 34:32Speaker 02

  You're not, sorry Jo, you're not a puppet.

• 34:33Speaker 01

  No, you're not a puppet.

• 34:36Speaker 02

  Don't make a weird joke. Okay.

• 34:39Speaker 01

  Bop it. Bop it. Me and Sven call each other boo sometimes and like I actually heard somebody else doing it to their partner. They do that and I was like, and then I was like, but I do that all the time.

• 34:49Speaker 02

  I do. Do you know what I've never been able to pull off? Babe.

• 34:53Speaker 01

  I do a babe sometimes.

• 34:55Speaker 02

  And any man that I've dated, only one of them, all of them were like, I just, they said, I could feel they tried to call me babe and we were just like.

• 35:03Speaker 01

  Do you remember when you were younger, when I don't know if you used to do this. And like, when you'd be going out with someone, you were younger and you'd send them a message, you'd be like, hey sexy, what are you doing?

• 35:14Speaker 01

  I used, I used to call all my boyfriends, hey sexy, what are you doing WB? WB.

• 35:25Speaker 03

  S, S X Y.

• 35:26Speaker 01

  What's S X Y?

• 35:28Speaker 03

  Text speak.

• 35:29Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 35:30Speaker 02

  Well, this was back in the day, Jo, we were writing letters.

• 35:33Speaker 01

  So we had, we had Nokia though. You had to be careful of the amount of letters you used. It was exhausting for the fingers.

• 35:40Speaker 02

  Do you know what was great though back in the day? Cause text messages were so slow to go. Remember you'd see the little envelope flying across the screen?

• 35:47Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 35:48Speaker 02

  If you texted the wrong person, you could rip the battery out of the back of it and it would stop the delivery, but you would never know if it worked or not. And you'd just have to put the battery. So obviously it was that old thing of like, you'd be talking about some guy and you'd end up sending it to the guy, all that jazz.

• 36:00Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 36:01Speaker 02

  Whereas now there's no, well, you can delete it now.

• 36:03Speaker 01

  Do you remember that star one O three star, the number and then hash? So it would tell people to call you because you've no credit.

• 36:08Speaker 02

  No.

• 36:09Speaker 01

  Oh my God, I used to send that all the time. I never had any credit.

• 36:11Speaker 02

  I do remember, I remember reverse charging a lot from phone boxes at various data stations and bus stops.

• 36:29Speaker 02

  My European dates have gone on sale. Peanut fall. I'm going to Barcelona and Copenhagen and Oslo and Berlin and.

• 36:38Speaker 02

  I was going to say Burgoyne, but I'm not going to Burgoyne.

• 36:40Speaker 01

  She will go to Burgoyne. I'm just going to tell you one thing. You can put my London tickets back in the pot. I'm going to one of these ones. I didn't know you were doing.

• 36:48Speaker 02

  Wouldn't it be so much fun?

• 36:49Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 36:50Speaker 02

  Do you know what? Why don't you come to... Oh, thanks, Jo.

• 36:53Speaker 01

  I'm not going to Berlin. It wouldn't be good for us in a way.

• 36:55Speaker 02

  Lisbon, Amsterdam, Antwerp, Berlin, Barcelona, Oslo, Burgoyne, Stockholm.

• 36:59Speaker 01

  Stop saying Burgoyne. She's desperate to go to Burgoyne. You won't even get in. You're not cool enough.

• 37:05Speaker 02

  Imagine me doing Binafana later, I'd skip mask.

• 37:10Speaker 01

  I want to go to Lisbon.

• 37:12Speaker 02

  Lisbon, Amsterdam, Antwerp, Berlin, Barcelona, Oslo, Bergen, Stockholm, Copenhagen.

• 37:16Speaker 01

  Oh, no, maybe I want to go to Copenhagen as well.

• 37:18Speaker 02

  Yeah, go to Copenhagen.

• 37:19Speaker 01

  Oh, my gosh.

• 37:20Speaker 02

  Join me at any stage, darling.

• 37:22Speaker 01

  Boom. Thank you, love. Thanks, love.

• 37:28Speaker 02

  Not you, Pop, but you're weird, aren't you?

• 37:37Speaker 02

  I'm off on a Couch Trip for New Year for the summer.

• 37:40Speaker 01

  Yeah, I'm sure you'll be seeing the inside of zero couches.

• 37:44Speaker 02

  What was it I used to get here? The Megabus? How were they have a Megabus?

• 37:46Speaker 01

  Oh, you loved the Megabus.

• 37:48Speaker 02

  And do you remember Couch Trip, the TV show? I loved that as well.

• 37:52Speaker 01

  I found that really depressing, to be honest with you. Do you know what I can't get enough of, though? A place in the sun. I can't stop watching it.

• 37:57Speaker 02

  It's real easy watching. It's lovely.

• 37:58Speaker 01

  They're like, we would like a seven-bedroom mansion with a swimming pool, four or five grand, please. And it's like, no.

• 38:05Speaker 02

  They're like, here's your budget. There's a wheelie bin in Benidorm you can have. They're like, oh, okay.

• 38:09Speaker 01

  Yeah, no, absolutely not.

• 38:16Speaker 02

  That's it for this week. We will chat to you soon. Thank you so much for listening.

• 38:20Speaker 01

  Listening.

• 38:21Speaker 02

  Oh, my god.

• 38:26Speaker 01

  Well done, love. That's a great job.

• 38:29Speaker 02

  Darling, it's honey, please.

• 38:33Speaker 02

  Are you okay, honey? Thanks for listening. What's happening?