MTGM EXTRA! "We've been sleeping together for years, but he's NEVER committed."

Joanne watched a Marco Pierre White interview this week and she is obsessed. Fair play too, because it was bananas. Meanwhile, Vogue has been focussed on the Ariana Grande / Ethan Slater story which has apparently come to an end... What next for Ethan? Plus, a listener emails in about a man who looks like he'll never commit... Is that ok? You be the judge... My Therapist Ghosted Me is a Global Production. Tickets for Joanne's tour Pinotphile are now LIVE: www.joannemcnally.com http://www.joannemcnally.com/ If you’d like to get in touch, you can send an email to [email protected] mailto:[email protected] Please review Global's Privacy Policy: https://global.com/legal/privacy-policy/ For merch, tour dates and more visit: www.mytherapistghostedme.com http://www.mytherapistghostedme.com/ This episode contains explicit language and adult themes that may not be suitable for all listeners.

• 0:02Speaker 00

  Louis said, "Is it true?" He says, "Gordon says you made him cry." And Mark went, "Gordon made himself cry."

• 0:13Speaker 00

  Now, that's a line I will take.

• 0:15Speaker 01

  I am a strong, confident woman.

• 0:19Speaker 00

  The best revenge is moving on with your life.

• 0:23Speaker 01

  Are you going to the pub tonight?

• 0:25Speaker 00

  I'm not going tonight, but I should be. I know I should be. Actually, you know what? I will.

• 0:29Speaker 01

  I think it's important that you do.

• 0:37Speaker 01

  Hello and welcome.

• 0:38Speaker 00

  Hello.

• 0:38Speaker 01

  Hello, guys.

• 0:39Speaker 00

  Hello.

• 0:39Speaker 01

  Again.

• 0:40Speaker 00

  Hello. Enough of that, enough of that.

• 0:43Speaker 01

  A double whammy today.

• 0:45Speaker 00

  They won't know that.

• 0:46Speaker 01

  You two.

• 0:47Speaker 02

  For them, it's several days later.

• 0:49Speaker 00

  Yeah, they don't know that.

• 0:49Speaker 01

  Okay, several days later, but little do you know, I'm stuck with these two again today. See them more than my own family.

• 0:57Speaker 00

  We're on a jolly.

• 0:58Speaker 01

  Yeah, it is. It is actually the best job. It really is. When people ask me about it, I'm like, "It's a bloody, it's a good job." Who was asking me? I was chatting to Miriam Hallahan yesterday.

• 1:08Speaker 00

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:08Speaker 01

  You and Joanne are such.

• 1:10Speaker 00

  My Miriam.

• 1:11Speaker 01

  No, my Miriam. Mine, actually.

• 1:12Speaker 00

  No, I think my Miriam.

• 1:15Speaker 01

  Oh, no, no, it was definitely my Miriam. I'm sure of it.

• 1:19Speaker 00

  Hold on, I'll ring her now. I'm pretty sure she's my Miriam.

• 1:22Speaker 01

  How dare you. How dare you to ring her.

• 1:24Speaker 00

  She just texts me going, "Don't ring me in front of O, because it'll be embarrassing, because I don't want to see how close you are."

• 1:30Speaker 01

  Oh. Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. She did ask me not to tell you about speaking to her yesterday. She was like, "Joanne just gets weird. She's really upset."

• 1:38Speaker 00

  I'm very territorial about Miriam, yeah.

• 1:40Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm. I said, "Yeah, Joanne's a bit odd like that with friends." I'm not allowed to have any other friends.

• 1:48Speaker 01

  What are you drinking? A Barroca through a wine glass?

• 1:51Speaker 00

  Friends and families only. It is actually a Barroca, yes.

• 1:53Speaker 01

  Through a wine glass with a glass drawer? Who the hell do you think you are?

• 1:57Speaker 00

  I'm romanticising my life, because no one else is going to fucking do it.

• 2:01Speaker 01

  It's like Claridge is over in Joanne's.

• 2:03Speaker 00

  I'm doing it for myself. Yeah. I'm romanticising my life. I have an electrolyte.

• 2:08Speaker 01

  As I.

• 2:08Speaker 00

  An electrolyte and some Robinsons and an ice cube, would you believe?

• 2:13Speaker 01

  Well, I'm drinking Robinson's from the bottle, because you know when there's a little bit left and you're like, oh, that will make a perfect serve if I fill the whole bottle up.

• 2:20Speaker 00

  I, I actually froze ice cubes in like the kind of shaft, like not shaft, what, what do you call them? Cylinder shaped ice, ice cubes, so you can throw them into the end of the like water bottles. Oh, listen.

• 2:33Speaker 01

  What?

• 2:33Speaker 00

  I know, tell you.

• 2:35Speaker 02

  That's the first ever household hack.

• 2:38Speaker 00

  Talk to me, talk to me.

• 2:41Speaker 01

  Talk about, are you one of those people who makes, have you seen when people fill up a balloon? And they fill it up with water and then they put like petals and stuff in it.

• 2:49Speaker 00

  Oh, you're laughing now.

• 2:50Speaker 01

  And then they put, tie it and they put the balloon in the freezer and then it's when they're having special dinner parties, I was watching. And then they take the balloon and the freezer, they open it and then you've got this big, huge lump of ice with loads of like nice flowers and stuff in it. Yeah, it looks amazing. Or you can put fruit in.

• 3:06Speaker 00

  No.

• 3:06Speaker 01

  Yeah, I'm gonna do it when you come over to my house.

• 3:08Speaker 00

  I, I did have, I did.

• 3:12Speaker 01

  I'll be known for my ice.

• 3:13Speaker 00

  I did have a grape in an ice cube, um, the other day, but it was an accident. I was in the freezer, I was rummaging around in the freezer. And I was like, who put that grape there? Frozen in perfect time, like a dinosaur. And, um, like a fossil, but it was obviously, I was obviously like pissed rummaging through the freezer with a grape in my mouth and a fan. Not, not quite the Mark and Stuart lifestyle choice, I thought it was. I was like, the fuck's back in there? I was like, oh yeah, I was pissed.

• 3:38Speaker 01

  No, do you know, remember people were putting on TikToks being like, oh my God, frozen grapes taste like, like ice cream. I'm like, no, no, they don't. Like they don't. They taste like a piece of fruit that's frozen and it's not as nice as a clip out.

• 3:52Speaker 00

  I'll tell you this and then we will move on because I'm like, we're not here for our culinary recommendations.

• 3:57Speaker 01

  Speak for yourself, John. I am.

• 3:59Speaker 00

  Well, I'm, okay, I will. I'm not here for my culinary recommendations.

• 4:04Speaker 00

  One more thing, I'll tell you to freeze because it's summer. Well, in our, in our territory, obviously, in other countries.

• 4:10Speaker 01

  Our heads.

• 4:10Speaker 00

  In other places, it's winter. That's how educated I am. I'm aware of that.

• 4:15Speaker 02

  Where is it winter, Joanne?

• 4:17Speaker 00

  Australia.

• 4:19Speaker 01

  Nice.

• 4:20Speaker 00

  Thank you.

• 4:21Speaker 01

  Very good. I mean, she's, she lives there.

• 4:23Speaker 00

  Because I know that it's the opposite of ours. Hello, Ryan man.

• 4:27Speaker 01

  They have a lovely Christmas though.

• 4:33Speaker 00

  Weather savant. Pretty sure, she says, with three of her binoculars and her bunsen burner, that it's winter in Australia.

• 4:45Speaker 00

  I'm a meteoric savant. Anyway, last thing I'll say about it. Frozen haribo, you're welcome.

• 4:56Speaker 00

  Yeah. Freeze haribo.

• 5:00Speaker 01

  I don't. Oh, he's got some haribo.

• 5:02Speaker 00

  You'll be chewing fridge, not that, not that's the shit baby one, no, the adult haribo.

• 5:07Speaker 01

  You can't have a small package.

• 5:09Speaker 00

  No, they're like for kids, Jo.

• 5:12Speaker 01

  I like chocolate from the fridge. I only eat chocolate from the fridge.

• 5:15Speaker 00

  Eat it all in one go, I would say.

• 5:17Speaker 01

  Anyway, on to most more important topics. I, um.

• 5:22Speaker 00

  Mark up your wife.

• 5:25Speaker 01

  Oh, that's an interesting one as well. I did, I did watch that, but there's so, there's so much to talk about.

• 5:30Speaker 00

  It is so funny. It is, it just made me laugh so much. I'm a big Louis V fan. Like, but obviously it's all guest dependent. I can't, I can't resist most of them. And I was like, I don't know, I'm gonna, will I enjoy this? I don't know. I started it. It is so funny, but I don't think it's supposed to be.

• 5:47Speaker 01

  Oh, I haven't listened to, no, I haven't listened to the whole thing. I thought it was pretty dark, no, when he just, when he's like talking about his dependencies and stuff.

• 5:55Speaker 00

  Well, yeah, I mean, sure.

• 5:57Speaker 01

  I've only listened to a couple of clips, so I haven't seen the funny side of it.

• 6:00Speaker 00

  Well, like, it's not intentionally funny.

• 6:03Speaker 01

  Oh, okay.

• 6:03Speaker 00

  It's, it's, so the main, firstly, he delivers every line like he's invented, like every line is delivered with this absolute earnestness of, like, this, it's so, he's like, besides, like, really simple, he's like, I baked a potato. And everyone's waiting for this massive moment. And then several times in the interview, Louis is like, oh, and then he did this. He's like, I never did that. He's like, it's in your book. He's like, I didn't write my book.

• 6:34Speaker 01

  Stop.

• 6:35Speaker 00

  Over and I think three times, he goes, that never happened. Louis is like, it's in your book. He goes, I didn't write that.

• 6:40Speaker 01

  Did he say that he gave back his mission stars?

• 6:43Speaker 00

  He said, you, you, he said, there's no choice. When you're out of the kitchen, they just take them. He said, you don't give them back, but when they're out of the, when, when you're no longer in the kitchen, they just, they just take them back.

• 6:54Speaker 01

  I'd say he's had a tough life. His son, his son is, uh, doesn't go through a great time.

• 7:00Speaker 00

  Yeah, he did reference that. Now, I wasn't aware of that, but he did talk about that because he was talking about his beef with Gordon Ramsay.

• 7:06Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 7:06Speaker 00

  And.

• 7:07Speaker 01

  What's the beef with Gordon Ramsay?

• 7:08Speaker 00

  Well, Marco trained Gordon.

• 7:11Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 7:11Speaker 00

  She says, like, like she has any, any knowledge in the culinary industry. Well, obviously, as we know, Marco trained Gordon.

• 7:19Speaker 01

  Um. Yeah.

• 7:19Speaker 00

  And, I mean, Marco was very clear. He says, because they're all calling each other, like screaming [BLEEP] each other the whole time and stuff. He's like, you don't understand our world. Like, that's just, that's just our world. And Louis said, is it true? He says, Gordon says you made him cry. And Marco went, Gordon made himself cry.

• 7:39Speaker 00

  I was, now that's a line I will take. I will take.

• 7:41Speaker 01

  I kind of, oh, Gigi.

• 7:45Speaker 00

  Oh, hi, Gigi. Oh, she's on the move.

• 7:50Speaker 01

  What's broken already?

• 7:52Speaker 03

  Otto's dumpling, but there's sellotape all over it.

• 7:55Speaker 01

  Oh, he broke his dumpling. Okay. Well, he's not getting another one. Don't let him near yours, okay? You pop downstairs now for me and close my door. Thanks a million. I'll see you in a minute.

• 8:04Speaker 00

  Who broke it?

• 8:04Speaker 01

  Good girl.

• 8:05Speaker 00

  Who broke his dumpling?

• 8:07Speaker 01

  Who do you think broke his dumpling? Who do you think broke the dumpling that I, that he's been waiting for for two weeks? Who broke it?

• 8:12Speaker 00

  Otto. Are we, is she still there? Is Otto crying? Is Gigi? Otto, Otto made himself cry, Gigi.

• 8:20Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 8:21Speaker 00

  Otto made himself cry.

• 8:24Speaker 00

  As she's holding his head.

• 8:25Speaker 01

  He broke it. Okay, Gigi, you have to close the door. Love you. Yeah. So they've been waiting for these gold dumplings. It's one of those things, Jo, your kids are probably too young. Yeah, it's like.

• 8:34Speaker 00

  I'm Googling it.

• 8:35Speaker 01

  What's it? They're just these squigges. It's like a squiggy thing, but they wanted these special gold ones that you can get. And I, I held out for two. Yeah, I held out two weeks. I gave it to Otto 13 minutes ago and his is broken.

• 8:50Speaker 00

  He's such. Little hooligan, I love it.

• 8:52Speaker 01

  He doesn't, he, he really, honestly, he is. I tried to make a deal with him before, I like, cause I was like, you can have eight minutes of TV if you're a good boy, cause he was throwing a wobbler and I was trying to come up here to pip. Sorry, need to go sit.

• 9:11Speaker 00

  I mean, I think I saw some food there, pass.

• 9:14Speaker 01

  Oh, I just said to them before you came on, I was like, I'm holding, I'm holding out, I'm gonna vomit when I get off this call.

• 9:21Speaker 00

  You're not sounding pregnancy to me, I'll be honest, are I?

• 9:24Speaker 01

  There's nothing to say. Although I met a girl today who says she feels great and I thought, what a bitch. I will not be talking to you again, my friend, right? And she's seven weeks ahead of me, whatever.

• 9:36Speaker 00

  You've made me, you've made me, I'm determined to get a surrogate after watching you nearly vomit on the podcast twice a week.

• 9:41Speaker 01

  I wouldn't be a surrogate for anybody, I could not.

• 9:43Speaker 00

  God, no, no, once you're done with mine, that's it, you're out, business, business done, shut up shop.

• 9:48Speaker 01

  We were talking about Marco P R White, how did he finish that? No, she interrupted us, you were telling us, he made Gordon, he made yourself cry.

• 9:55Speaker 00

  Gordon made himself cry. Oh, and he also said, he also said Mitch and stars these days are handed out a confetti.

• 10:02Speaker 00

  He just shat on everyone who was a Mitch and star since he stopped cooking, yeah.

• 10:06Speaker 01

  Oh my, now, I never died over his restaurants, I will say, whereas Gordon Ramsay's restaurants, I, I like, I like a bit of Lucky Cat, I do.

• 10:16Speaker 00

  He also called the air fryer the Ferrari of the kitchen.

• 10:21Speaker 01

  Yeah. Interesting.

• 10:22Speaker 00

  Cause, cause Louie was like, oh geez, an air fryer, cause I don't, I don't, but I've heard about them, I believe they are the Ferrari of the kitchen.

• 10:29Speaker 01

  I can't, like, come on, how can you live in your life without an air fryer? Come on.

• 10:34Speaker 02

  I'm stood next to my Ferrari now.

• 10:35Speaker 00

  Are you? Are you recording this in the kitchen?

• 10:38Speaker 01

  How big, how big is your Ferrari?

• 10:40Speaker 02

  It's a, it's a double, double basket Ferrari.

• 10:43Speaker 01

  I have a double, yeah, half for chips, half for the chicken dipper.

• 10:47Speaker 00

  My top, one top, one drawer is an ashtray, the other held my keys, I have the same, two drawers.

• 10:52Speaker 01

  Wait, where did the eggs go, Juan? Where's the eggs go?

• 10:55Speaker 00

  Well, ever since I realised you can't cook an egg in an air fryer, I've given up on the thing completely. But I love it, I love the look of it, I, I love to, I, I just, I like knowing it's there.

• 11:07Speaker 04

  You're listening to a quick ad. You know what else is quick? Selling your car on Carvana. Just put in your vehicle information and we'll give you an offer. Done. No hassle, no negotiation, no guy from an online listing lowballing you. Which means by the time I'm done explaining this, you could have basically done it.

• 11:31Speaker 04

  Still haven't started? Hey, better late than ever. Sell your car today on Carvana. Pickup fees may apply.

• 11:38Speaker 05

  Have you ever laughed at something you definitely shouldn't have? Like, you know it's bad, but you just can't help it.

• 11:44Speaker 06

  Same. That's basically the entire premise of our podcast, Shouldn't Laugh But, with me, Laura Smith.

• 11:50Speaker 05

  And me, Carmen Butcher.

• 11:51Speaker 06

  We get into those moments that are a bit awkward, a bit chaotic, and yeah, sometimes a bit wrong. But very funny. Think wild confessions, questionable decisions, and the kind of stories you probably shouldn't admit out loud. But we do anyway.

• 12:07Speaker 05

  It's the stuff you'd normally only say to your closest mates, if that.

• 12:10Speaker 06

  Where can you get us from, comms?

• 12:12Speaker 05

  Listen and watch on Global Player, YouTube, or wherever you get your podcasts.

• 12:16Speaker 06

  Very good.

• 12:20Speaker 01

  I was gonna tell you about Ariana Grande's after breaking up with your man, Ethan Slater.

• 12:24Speaker 00

  I know.

• 12:24Speaker 01

  And do you know what? And supposedly, allegedly supposedly, he's getting back with the...

• 12:30Speaker 00

  No.

• 12:32Speaker 01

  Well, I read that he was getting

• 12:33Speaker 00

  No.

• 12:34Speaker 01

  Bertie again with the ex-wife, that's what I heard.

• 12:36Speaker 00

  No, as no.

• 12:37Speaker 01

  Why are you so quick to dismiss?

• 12:39Speaker 00

  There's no...

• 12:40Speaker 01

  Why?

• 12:40Speaker 00

  There's just no way in hell.

• 12:42Speaker 01

  Okay, so Ariana Grande started doing Wicked, the movie, with this fella, Ethan. I don't remember his second name.

• 12:50Speaker 00

  Slater?

• 12:50Speaker 01

  Slater, and he had just had a baby with someone like 10 minutes, 10, 10 minutes.

• 12:54Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 12:55Speaker 01

  10 months previously.

• 12:56Speaker 00

  Ambilical cord still attached to the kid.

• 12:58Speaker 01

  Yeah. So broke up with her. And then got with Ariana and now Ariana has moved on and she's not with him anymore. But have you noticed like she kinda, once she gets a new, she moves on to something new. She moves everything on. So when she like, Wicked's over, he's over. Now she's on tour. It's the new Ariana. I actually really like her. I'm not throwing shade, but it does happen.

• 13:19Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 13:20Speaker 01

  And yeah, I like her a lot, I have to say.

• 13:22Speaker 00

  She has a song out now where she, yeah, like, and, and, and his, his wife is a psychiatrist, psychologist.

• 13:30Speaker 01

  Jesus, I wonder would you be able to talk to yourself if, if you're going through like traumatic things? Like sit in front of the mirror and be like, right, like work on your, like you're your own project.

• 13:39Speaker 00

  Well, she's, she wrote a really good article about the fact that, how it feels when all your patients know that your husband left you for Ariana Grande.

• 13:48Speaker 01

  I feel like there's certain people, like if Svenny dumped me and got with Margot Robbie, I'd be like, obviously it'd be horrendous. I'd, I'd end up, I'd end up in an institution, but then I'd be like, you know what? Fair play. I would also dump me.

• 14:00Speaker 00

  You would in your arse.

• 14:03Speaker 01

  I, I do, I would. I've done so loads of-

• 14:05Speaker 00

  Bombard at Robbie's house. Folks, I know-

• 14:06Speaker 01

  No, I would be actually impressed.

• 14:08Speaker 00

  You would in your hole. You'd be absolutely fuming. There's not an inch of you-

• 14:15Speaker 01

  Mature. I don't hold jealousy and I would wish them both well, is what I would do.

• 14:22Speaker 00

  The best revenge is moving on with your life. Eh eh.

• 14:25Speaker 01

  I am a strong, confident-

• 14:28Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 14:28Speaker 01

  Woman.

• 14:31Speaker 00

  But I, I like, there, there is, there is a bit of that, I think with like, but his wa-

• 14:37Speaker 01

  I don't care.

• 14:37Speaker 00

  His wife, were they married? But she's a really impressive and a very beautiful woman, like, and she's highly qualified, highly intelligent, very attractive. Like she's, you know, I mean, these things do, you know, she's not like-

• 14:50Speaker 01

  I mean, he's been punching his way through, he has been punching his way through life. I'm not being mean, but he is.

• 14:56Speaker 00

  Well, yeah, I mean, he's, yeah, he, his, his partners are-

• 14:59Speaker 01

  I'm not saying he's, he's not unattractive, he's just unusual.

• 15:04Speaker 00

  Yes, yes, yes. But she, Ariana now has released a new song where she's basically saying, I hate, sorry, I hate that I made you fall in love with me, but it was just so easy. They're the, I know. And also, there's a lot of talk about her body at the moment and that she looks very unwell and they're comparing her to Karen Carpenter.

• 15:23Speaker 01

  Ariana's?

• 15:23Speaker 00

  Yeah, she's very, she's very unright. And like, as someone who's obviously been down that road myself, it's always that thing, do, do, everyone's like, you shouldn't comment on a woman's body. But also, on the other side of the argument, you're like, she's clearly unwell, like, she's known, like, size thing, but then surely her, her family, I'm sure, are involved and like, she should still be able to work, but. Anyway, yeah, it's, it's all, it's very, it's very confronting when someone is like that, you're like, I don't really know. I mean, obviously, it's none of our business, but in the same breath, she's a public figure on stage and she is.

• 15:53Speaker 01

  I mean, nothing's our business, really, but we always make.

• 15:55Speaker 00

  Stop us getting involved, I know. But the body conversation is always really tricky, because people are like, it's not your right to comment on women's bodies, but in the same breath, if someone's visibly unwell, are we just gonna like, ignore it and not say anything about it? I don't know. Anyway, I don't know.

• 16:08Speaker 01

  I know.

• 16:08Speaker 00

  But I will say, huge fan of Ariana, and if Ethan gets back with his ex, I will swallow my own hat.

• 16:17Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 16:18Speaker 00

  I'll buy a hat.

• 16:18Speaker 01

  Get ready.

• 16:19Speaker 00

  I'll buy a.

• 16:20Speaker 01

  Now you can swallow, now you can swallow, now you can swallow a hat. You said you'd swallow a hat.

• 16:24Speaker 00

  I just don't think if you humiliate a woman like that, and I don't know in what world she would be able to go back there. I just don't see it happening. I just don't. No.

• 16:37Speaker 01

  I mean, when I was cheated on, I, I just, no, I, I like, I just couldn't. I'd be like, no.

• 16:45Speaker 00

  You can privately maybe forgive something if it's like between the two, you can maybe privately, but to be publicly humiliated like that, and very visibly.

• 16:53Speaker 01

  Terrible.

• 16:53Speaker 00

  And like, his wife, the essay is really, really good. I might, I might reshare it with you guys. She's like, talking about, it was so clear what was happening and he was obviously denying it. And then she said, and then not only he left me while I have a newborn baby, and then went on the biggest press tour that the world has ever seen. And they were just together all the time, talking about each other and how talented the other one is and everything. She was like, it was fucking, it was hell on earth. While she's there breastfeeding the fucking newborn.

• 17:20Speaker 01

  Stop it. It's actually so bad. Like, there's like, I just think.

• 17:25Speaker 00

  It's so bad.

• 17:25Speaker 01

  Actually. Yeah, shame on both of them. There is, there is that. That's really bad. Actually, I want you to do a bit of deep diving for us, by the way. You know, the thing on the crash? The thing that you told us all to watch. There's some mad conspiracy stuff going on in, in the TikTok world.

• 17:41Speaker 00

  Really?

• 17:42Speaker 01

  You need to deep dive that and find out stuff about it.

• 17:45Speaker 00

  Say no more.

• 17:46Speaker 01

  Yeah, incestuous and, and all kinds of things like that I was saying. So I'm not gonna, yeah, I'm not gonna deep dive it because it feels like you will do a better detective work.

• 17:55Speaker 00

  Well, I guess if, yeah, I know what you're saying. If incest involved, you're a pregnant woman, you're like, it's not.

• 18:01Speaker 00

  It's too dark for me and my unborn child. Joanne will do that.

• 18:05Speaker 01

  By the way, maternal instinct. What the fuck?

• 18:08Speaker 00

  Did you watch it?

• 18:08Speaker 01

  I'm, I'm halfway through it. Like, what?

• 18:12Speaker 00

  It's, it's Banana Town.

• 18:13Speaker 01

  I'm scared to leave my home.

• 18:15Speaker 00

  It's Banana Town.

• 18:16Speaker 02

  Told not to watch it.

• 18:18Speaker 01

  Ah, it's brilliant. Oh, my.

• 18:20Speaker 00

  Vogue, you know, you know, I'm, I'm keen to have a charger looking. I'm not down to you with an Allen key. Crack you open.

• 18:28Speaker 01

  I'm not going to her house alone anymore.

• 18:30Speaker 00

  Steal the new baby with the name, with the, with the name that you've already given a bim bop a loo bop bop boo.

• 18:39Speaker 00

  Vogue, I think it's fair to say we're not, we're not sporting women.

• 18:42Speaker 01

  Okay, yeah.

• 18:43Speaker 00

  Obviously, the World Cup is happening.

• 18:46Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 18:46Speaker 00

  If that is, that is a sport. We're not.

• 18:49Speaker 01

  Is it?

• 18:49Speaker 00

  By the way, it identifies as such.

• 18:52Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 18:53Speaker 00

  I mean, the main kind of message, I guess, of, of the World Cup is that it's a cockfet in the pubs, which is good news for the single girlers. And the single guys.

• 19:03Speaker 01

  Oh, come here to me. It's on tonight, the World Cup.

• 19:05Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 19:06Speaker 01

  England are playing Croatia.

• 19:08Speaker 02

  At time of recording, but by the time you hear this, that was a week ago, so we know.

• 19:12Speaker 01

  Oh, that was a week ago. So you've missed it.

• 19:14Speaker 00

  The part that I will get involved in is there's, there's an intense pub culture around the time of the World Cup. And it does mean there are a lot of vulnerable men around town, which I think is a healthy message to spread.

• 19:27Speaker 01

  Are you going to the pub tonight?

• 19:29Speaker 00

  I'm not going tonight, but I should be. I know I should be. Actually, you know what? I will.

• 19:34Speaker 01

  I think it's important that you do.

• 19:37Speaker 00

  You're right. I, I, I'm torn between it. I think it might be a bit hectic, but I'm, you're right. I might put on a boob tube and sit at the bar on my own, like a desperate slag.

• 19:46Speaker 01

  You're not desperate. You're just, you're simply, you're simply a football fan.

• 19:51Speaker 02

  That is not a comment on other people that might be going to the pub in a boob tube this evening, that is Joanne talking about herself.

• 19:56Speaker 00

  Jo, I do that all the time. You've no idea how often I be slagging around up there. Now, with that, with very little follow through, obviously, but I'm trying.

• 20:07Speaker 02

  Well, for anyone who plans to do that, there is one more England game at least on Saturday at 10 o'clock against Panama.

• 20:13Speaker 01

  10 o'clock at the night? No.

• 20:15Speaker 00

  At the night?

• 20:16Speaker 02

  10 o'clock at the night, yes.

• 20:18Speaker 01

  I'm asleep.

• 20:22Speaker 00

  At the night?

• 20:25Speaker 00

  She's like, what? I don't understand. That's barbaric.

• 20:28Speaker 01

  It's just like some, like, that's, I honestly, sometimes I wonder about the Spanish people because you go to Spain and they're going out for dinner at 11 o'clock at night. Like, that's, it's not healthy. It's, it's a bit strange. It is strange.

• 20:41Speaker 00

  There is a headline, I can see that in the Daily Mail. Vogue Williams calls Spanish people strange and unhealthy. I look forward to liking my, clicking on it myself.

• 20:50Speaker 02

  Brilliant.

• 20:51Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 20:52Speaker 01

  Okay. In the gist of Spain, hello sexy señoritas. I didn't make that up, that's actually the email.

• 20:58Speaker 00

  Oh.

• 20:59Speaker 01

  I'm writing anonymously and would love your thoughts on something that deep down, I suspect I already know the answer to.

• 21:06Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 21:07Speaker 00

  Oh, good.

• 21:07Speaker 01

  I'm an Irish woman in my late 40s, single, no children and never married, entirely by choice.

• 21:12Speaker 00

  Stunning.

• 21:13Speaker 01

  I've always been fiercely independent, partly through stubbornness and partly as a way of protecting myself from an early life of trauma and disappointment.

• 21:22Speaker 00

  Sorry, she sounds about as positive as I feel. Go on.

• 21:27Speaker 01

  Despite that, I've got great friends, great siblings and I'm a lover of life. I enjoy my own company and I still believe in love. Joanne, I feel like we might be kindred spirits in the most positive sense of the phrase, which is why I'd especially love to hear your take on this.

• 21:41Speaker 01

  About 10 years ago, I met a man through work. At the time, he was in a relationship. As cliche as it sounds, we ended up having an on and off affair.

• 21:51Speaker 01

  The chemistry was undeniable and the sex was honestly mind blowing. Even now, all these years later, he remains in my life in one form or another.

• 22:00Speaker 00

  As in physically or mentally? Is she talking memory or is she saying like in her life?

• 22:05Speaker 01

  Okay, here you go. He has since broken up with his long term partner and still pursues me. The thing is, while I genuinely care about him, I've never really felt chosen by him. He often comes to me looking for friendship guidance, emotional support and intimacy. Yet, at the same time, he's constantly seeking attention from other women and pursuing new relationships. It's left me feeling like I'm good enough to lean on, good enough to sleep with, good enough to confide in, but not quite good enough to fully commit to.

• 22:34Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 22:35Speaker 01

  The logical part of me knows that if a man truly wants to be with somebody, he usually makes that very clear. Yes, there's another part of me that wonders whether the history connection and genuine affection between us means something more. So my question is this, am I holding on to a fantasy because of our chemistry and history? Or is there a possibility that some people genuinely take years to realise what they want? I'd love your honest thoughts, even if they're not what I want to hear. Lots of love, an Irish independent woman.

• 23:04Speaker 00

  Well, it's not, it's not a fantasy because he is, he is there. Like what's happened is real. So it's not a fantasy. But I would, and listen, I could have written this email myself. Like to say I've been there is an understatement. Well, I guess it's not an understatement. It's a statement of fact. He has, he, he isn't, he isn't going the extra mile. He isn't doing the choosing. He, it's.

• 23:27Speaker 01

  This is Brad Crumming, isn't he?

• 23:30Speaker 00

  It's comfortable, I would say. Yeah. He's not like he's, he's, you're one of, you know, there's obviously a connection there. There's history there. There's good sex there. There's desire and lust there. And there's a friendship there, but is he running towards you saying, let's make a go of it? No. So like that, you know, that's.

• 23:47Speaker 01

  And you deserve to, yeah, you deserve to be number one. Like you're, you're important and you are more deserving than him coming back and forth and not like, I'm just kind of taking what he wants when he wants it. And don't feel bad because literally all of us have been there.

• 24:02Speaker 00

  We blow stuff up into thinking it means more than it, like as in it's really easy to twist stuff into thinking it means more than it does. But when you put the facts on the table, like when you lay it out and you're really honest with yourself, you're like. Yeah, he, he obviously values her and he obviously really cares about her and all that jazz. But is he saying, it's you and me, let's drive off the edge of a cliff together, like Tom and Louise? No, he's not. So like, that's what it is. And the fact that he's still like indulging other women and looking for attention elsewhere, like, she knows herself, you know yourself, you're, you're, you're, he's blocking your door. I remember someone telling me years ago, they were like, come in, when it comes to relationships, come in or come out, but you're, don't block the door.

• 24:47Speaker 01

  That's a very good, Joanne, best advice you've ever given.

• 24:51Speaker 00

  Thank you. He's blocking your door. He's blocking your door. And you know what? Maybe you're, when you talk about your independence and all that jazz, and maybe it is a, a, like a kind of conscious choice. But also when you have someone like that, who gives you enough rope to hang yourself, as in like emotionally, you have someone to kind of, where it's, it's enough to keep you going, but it's not a whole thing. He's blocking your door. You don't know what would happen if he got out of your door. Get him out, get him out of the door. Close the door on him. He's, he's done, he's toast.

• 25:21Speaker 01

  Now I'm gonna go and get sick, so thank you all for listening. I appreciate it.

• 25:25Speaker 00

  I'm off the pub in a boob tube.

• 25:29Speaker 01

  Slack!

• 25:36Speaker 00

  With the vapour and seven condoms, good luck to us all.

• 25:42Speaker 01

  I have not seen a condom in, Jesus, I cannot remember.

• 25:46Speaker 00

  Neither have I. Which will tell you a lot about my sexuality. Neither have I, I wouldn't recognise if it came up and slapped me in the face.

• 25:53Speaker 01

  Next time I come to you, I'm gonna bring some condoms.

• 25:55Speaker 00

  You should.

• 25:57Speaker 01

  I will, I will.

• 25:58Speaker 00

  I'd love to see one, like, it's so long.

• 26:02Speaker 01

  It's so long.

• 26:04Speaker 00

  Yeah. God, are you putting one on and all? Do I wear it as he? I can't even remember.

• 26:11Speaker 00

  What happens?

• 26:18Speaker 07

  This has been a global production.

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• 26:46Speaker 04

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