MTGM EXTRA! "Lesbian circularity..."

Are you familiar with "Lesbian circularity"? If not, good... Because a listener has emailed in to explain it in fantastic detail. Plus... A huge announcement, but does it belong to Vogue, or Joanne??? Tickets for Joanne's tour Pinotphile are now LIVE: www.joannemcnally.com http://www.joannemcnally.com/ If you’d like to get in touch, you can send an email to [email protected] mailto:[email protected] Please review Global's Privacy Policy: https://global.com/legal/privacy-policy/ For merch, tour dates and more visit: www.mytherapistghostedme.com http://www.mytherapistghostedme.com/ This episode contains explicit language and adult themes that may not be suitable for all listeners.

• 0:02Speaker 00

  This is a Global Player original podcast.

• 0:05Speaker 01

  I thought you were going to be a little more discreet of a modest folk. I thought this was going to be.

• 0:08Speaker 02

  You know, I'm not discreet. I don't know what you were expecting.

• 0:11Speaker 01

  And while it brings out the worst and the lowest in me, because I'm like, oh my God, who cares? Read a novel in the same breath.

• 0:19Speaker 02

  I care.

• 0:20Speaker 01

  Do you know the deets? Do you know the deets, Joe? Do you know the deets? Do you know the deets?

• 0:23Speaker 02

  I'm not just going to randomly post about being married to Spencer in November. That is the month I post about my dead dad.

• 0:31Speaker 01

  Women calling each other mean on the internet is, I'm going to go so far as to say pathetic.

• 0:41Speaker 01

  Hello, welcome to the bonus episode of My Therapist Ghosted Me with me, Jaron McNally, Vogue Williams. Vogue, I can see Spencer's.

• 0:50Speaker 02

  Freddie, we can see you're naked again. This is on YouTube.

• 0:54Speaker 01

  He knows, this man knows exactly what I'm, what he's doing. Just for the listeners, I logged in. I was logged in, but Vogue, there was something wrong with my camera and I hadn't kind of registered I was here yet. And Spencer was bollock naked, like basically pointing his penis at the camera in a kind of a violent, aggressive way.

• 1:14Speaker 02

  It couldn't have been more in the camera.

• 1:18Speaker 01

  And you said, stop, stop, they're going to be on soon. And I was like, no, no, no, I'm, I'm here. I'm here. Blinded by the light, blinded by the light.

• 1:29Speaker 02

  I'm poor Spano. He's, he's got running, running penis, which isn't his best.

• 1:35Speaker 01

  No, no, no, no, I'm not going to, I'm not going to cast judgement. What I will say is there was a.

• 1:38Speaker 02

  Here he comes back.

• 1:39Speaker 01

  Here he goes. He's delighted with himself. A significant.

• 1:42Speaker 03

  I'm sorry you had to see that. Okay, I'll make sure that next time I've got at least a semi on.

• 1:47Speaker 01

  All right. Thank you. I wouldn't mind.

• 1:48Speaker 02

  You're going to wish you had a semi when this goes up on, on YouTube because we're putting up the whole dick.

• 1:52Speaker 01

  To be fair, he was actually covering his dick. He was covering his dick.

• 1:55Speaker 03

  I don't mind.

• 1:56Speaker 02

  Oh, you were, did you see any dick?

• 1:58Speaker 01

  No, he had his hand over it.

• 2:00Speaker 02

  Oh, he shouldn't see his trousers down, please. Are they mine? Okay, we're recording now.

• 2:06Speaker 03

  I don't think they're yours, darling.

• 2:08Speaker 01

  I think it is hand over it. If he didn't, he's got a thumb for a penis.

• 2:13Speaker 02

  He's a shower. He's a shower. He is a shower.

• 2:16Speaker 01

  A significant tan line. That man has clearly been in St Bart's for six months.

• 2:21Speaker 02

  I am not somebody to send an unsolicited dick pic. I wouldn't do something like that. So I'm just wondering, is it okay for me to send you a full on picture of Spennies when it's like on a semi?

• 2:33Speaker 01

  I'll be honest.

• 2:34Speaker 02

  Send you a semi pic. Is that okay?

• 2:35Speaker 01

  I'll be honest, Vogue. It's a while. I haven't. I like to receive post. I'm traditional in that regard.

• 2:42Speaker 02

  Something like a physical picture.

• 2:44Speaker 01

  Well, yeah, it'd be nice. It'd be nice to get something through the post that isn't from the revenue. So yes, that would be sweet.

• 2:49Speaker 02

  Framed or unframed? Unframed, if you wouldn't mind framing is quite expensive, as you know.

• 2:53Speaker 01

  Well, I, the second, the second that came out of your mouth, I knew you were going to realise that was going to be an additional cost that you weren't willing to provide. So I know I said, I, this is, I knew that I'd be framing it myself.

• 3:04Speaker 04

  Perhaps you could just get it laminated.

• 3:06Speaker 01

  Oh, that's nice. Yeah. Like a key or it turned into a key ring.

• 3:10Speaker 02

  Oh, I could get you a key. Oh, Joan. Hello. I could get it printed on a pillow. You're welcome.

• 3:15Speaker 01

  I have some news. I have some news. Just.

• 3:17Speaker 02

  Oh, fantastic.

• 3:18Speaker 01

  Yeah. And I would like to announce to our listeners and any newspapers that I have a surrogate.

• 3:36Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah. Who's that?

• 3:39Speaker 01

  Well, it was supposed to be anonymous until she went like a fucking purse trap on the beach and announced herself to try and get the traction back towards her. It's you, Vogue. As you know, I paid you good money to have an anonymous child for me. And now you just ripped it up in the Daily Mail with your own announcement, pushing your belly against Spencer's. It's not even his sperm, as you know, I got it from Denmark. It's nothing to do with him.

• 4:04Speaker 02

  It's nothing to do with either of us, actually. This is completely down to Joanne. I'm a mere carrier for her.

• 4:09Speaker 01

  You are a carrier for my egg, Magaluf. If anyone's been to the show, they know that I'm in the market to have a child called Magaluf McNally. And I thought we were gonna, I thought you were gonna be a little more discreet, if I'm honest, Vogue. I thought this was gonna be.

• 4:21Speaker 02

  You know, I'm not discreet. I don't know what you're expecting. I obviously was gonna get a bit of traction for it myself before I handed it over, so.

• 4:27Speaker 01

  Yeah, I know. Well, I would like some of the money back because there was, some of that money did go into some level of anonymity. I was, I was gonna try and pull off the French baby myself.

• 4:36Speaker 02

  Okay, well, you can forget about the hello sheet. I'm not doing the hello sheet for you. You can forget about it. We're not gonna be holding hands on the cover of Hello anymore. So if you're gonna take money back, I'm not having it, okay?

• 4:48Speaker 01

  What? I wanna be on the banner of the Daily Mail. They're so brutal where they take people on and off that banner of the Daily Mail. It's awful. It's so mean. Congratulations, Vogue is having a sixth child.

• 5:01Speaker 02

  Yes, I am. It's very exciting news. I, Joanne has thankfully forgotten many times. I told Joanne when I was, I think I was like minus a week pregnant and I told Joanne. And she keeps forgetting, which is just fantastic news for me. I've had to tell Joanne, I've had to tell her, this is four times I've had to remind.

• 5:23Speaker 01

  Spencer was still napping in the wet patch and you were like, I'm pregnant. And I was like, oh my God, amazing news, amazing news. And then I kept forgetting because I, I don't see you physically anymore, which is so sad because we're traveling all the time. And also, I guess because it's not your first pregnancy, I don't know why, it just kept, and you don't really talk about it that much.

• 5:46Speaker 02

  No, because I feel like it's the fourth pregnancy and there's not as many people care.

• 5:53Speaker 01

  That's sad, that's sad for the baby.

• 5:55Speaker 02

  It's not really sad because I had my time, do you know what I mean? Like, I'm going on to my fourth child. I get this, it's not my first rodeo and I'm really happy about it. But I also, like, I have this thing where I just, like, I have my own reasons for not wanting to, to, like, I just wanted to keep it for as long as I could before coming out and saying it. Firstly, because I don't really think anyone cares that much. And secondly, because I just have reasonings for wanting, just making sure everything's okay, you know what I mean?

• 6:23Speaker 01

  Of course. And also, there's a lot of drama when people announce pregnancies and you don't go too soon. And it's all in your own time. And when you feel. Safe and ready, you know, although I did say.

• 6:38Speaker 02

  I didn't really feel, I didn't feel that ready. I didn't really want to. Um, I was gonna try and hold it for a little while longer, but it was good. God, it was the, the boobs probably gave me away a lot.

• 6:49Speaker 01

  Well, I want to say that I acknowledge that I'm part of the problem because now when I say I forgot, I kept forgetting she was pregnant. Just to make me not sound like an absolute sociopath. It was that we'd, she told me she was, I knew, obviously knew you were pregnant. But then we'd make plans and I'm like, oh my God, yeah, we'll go for pre drinks here and blah, blah, blah. And she's like, Joanna's pregnant. I was like, fuck. So wasn't that like, she had to keep telling me? It wasn't like she'd keep announcing it to me like you're.

• 7:12Speaker 02

  No, no, no, no, no.

• 7:13Speaker 01

  From memento or like, it's not like I've got a seven second memory.

• 7:18Speaker 01

  Fifty first dates where she has to.

• 7:19Speaker 02

  It makes me so, you're not gonna even notice.

• 7:23Speaker 01

  But it just kept slipping my mind, I would say. It just kept slipping my mind. But in the same breath, you were away somewhere. Where were you? We're in, I assume it's in St Bart's. And you were wearing something a little revealing. And I was like, oh my God, she looks pregnant.

• 7:45Speaker 01

  Straight to tattle.

• 7:48Speaker 01

  She's pregnant, she's pregnant. She's pregnant. I would have, I would have been, I would have been screen grabbing and sending it to friends for out of nosiness. I would have been like, she look, I don't know how you got away with it. She looks, she look, to me, you're like, you look pregnant because you're always quite small. And I was like, the rack is, the rack is back. The rack is back. The rack is back. Yeah.

• 8:07Speaker 02

  I nearly was gonna take the rack into, into like a surgeon and be like, this is the rack I want. Like just make this happen at this stage. Cause I'm quite happy. It's, it's like, it's so strange to have boobs. It's such a weird feeling, but I kinda like it.

• 8:20Speaker 01

  Yeah, of course. It's empowering. It's like me with my hair extensions.

• 8:24Speaker 02

  Somebody was like, how many, how many sunflower seeds are you eating?

• 8:30Speaker 02

  I'm like bucket those. I'm like a bird. It's all I eat.

• 8:32Speaker 01

  Yeah, I'm on a drip.

• 8:36Speaker 01

  So during the night, I'm still being forest fed, so I'm flower suits. Obviously, now you're pregnant, this is huge news. Two questions.

• 8:44Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 8:45Speaker 01

  Am I finally going to get the maternity leave that I deserve?

• 8:48Speaker 02

  I'm sorry, Joan, it's actually probably going to be worse than before because I really am trying to prove a point that pregnant people aren't incapacitated in any way.

• 8:58Speaker 01

  But you are Vogue, you are incapacitated.

• 9:01Speaker 02

  Joan, I don't know.

• 9:02Speaker 01

  And I don't even have any children.

• 9:04Speaker 02

  I, listen, I've invited you to the labour. That's enough for you. You're getting gas and air. I'm giving you a treat this time around because it is most definitely the last time. So you can come in. I've already asked the doctor. She said, yeah, you can have your friend come in. And I haven't mentioned the gas and air, obviously, but you're allowed in.

• 9:21Speaker 01

  Well, that was my next question.

• 9:23Speaker 02

  Well, yes, I have you. You're already on the list.

• 9:25Speaker 01

  My two great hopes for this pregnancy. No, three, obviously. Healthy baby, healthy baby, ten fingers, ten toes.

• 9:30Speaker 02

  Healthy baby, actually.

• 9:31Speaker 01

  Blah, blah, blah. So we know it's not AI because if it's got more than that, then people will know it's AI. And the other thing is, I would like you to incapacitate yourself for a couple of weeks so me and Jo can enjoy whenever the baby's due, some time off. And also, I do want a little toke on the gas and air.

• 9:50Speaker 02

  I'll tell you what, if the baby comes early and it's at a time where not as many people are listening, I'll consider two weeks off. But if not, I'm afraid I shall be recording from my hospital bed.

• 10:03Speaker 01

  Very fucking gulligan. She's going to be cutting the placenta on YouTube. Me and Jo are going to be sitting there in the horrors.

• 10:09Speaker 04

  We're booked in to record a bonus episode between contractions.

• 10:12Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 10:14Speaker 01

  Perfect, perfect. I'm like, no Vogue, you always read the emails.

• 10:22Speaker 01

  It's not my job.

• 10:25Speaker 01

  It's not my job. Anyway, listen, congratulations. And I'm not going to say what gender I want it to be because, but I know.

• 10:33Speaker 02

  What that is.

• 10:35Speaker 01

  No, no, I would.

• 10:36Speaker 02

  And you also, do you not remember what it is? I told you what it was.

• 10:39Speaker 01

  I do remember. I'm just saying, to be diplomatic, I would be happy with a hybrid baby. Bit about.

• 10:44Speaker 02

  Okay, well, I will work on it. I will work on that hybrid for you. The great thing about Joanne forgetting and her being away is that like she won't find me boring. And you know the way people are like, oh, she's still pregnant. So I've held it in long enough that I feel like I won't be annoying. Also, do you know what? I don't know. You might, like, there's headlines that are being written about us, like before I announced the baby. Not, not about you, me, about me and Sven.

• 11:11Speaker 01

  Oh, God.

• 11:12Speaker 02

  And the breakup, the breakup shit is, the breakup shit is still there. Oh, there's.

• 11:19Speaker 01

  You say us, I assume it's us. Not you and him.

• 11:24Speaker 02

  Oh, it's, it's the other, it's the less important us. It's the other us. It's not you and I. But, but all the breakup stuff is, is still there. It's like any headline that's written about Sven and I, it's like, oh, they're, they're, they're trying to get through Marvel. And it's like, sorry, and I figured it out. So I know where it's arisen from because I've, I've read it. So they've, they've said, the rumours have come from when Vogue forgot to,

• 11:52Speaker 02

  mark her anniversary, her seventh anniversary with Spencer in November. First of all, we didn't get married in, in, in November, nor did we get together in November. So I, I'm not just going to randomly post about being married to Spencer in November. That is the month I post about my dead dad.

• 12:13Speaker 01

  Exactly.

• 12:14Speaker 02

  It's sacred.

• 12:15Speaker 01

  It's called, it's called social strategy, okay?

• 12:19Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 12:20Speaker 01

  It's called social media strategy. Vogue, can I just say?

• 12:23Speaker 02

  I can't post about it because my mom even hates my dad in death. I'm like, Jesus, mom, he's paid the ultimate price. Can I not post?

• 12:35Speaker 01

  Nope.

• 12:36Speaker 02

  Now that is how you hold a grudge.

• 12:37Speaker 01

  She's offline for nine days.

• 12:42Speaker 01

  Poor Freddie spinning in his grave.

• 12:46Speaker 01

  Listen, I've said it before and I'll say it again, Sandra now has had to hold a grudge. It's one of the most depressing things about her. But you know the way you're always, the breakup accusations, et cetera.

• 12:56Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 12:56Speaker 01

  Would you not, like, do you know what I'd love? Because I love any sort of, my algorithm, I've said this before, my Insta algorithm is very much set to public statements and apologies.

• 13:07Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 13:08Speaker 01

  So it could be, I could, I could, I could, I could come across somebody, they're like, I just want to say officially here, I've, I've read the rumours, I've heard the accusations and they'll have seven followers, but I'm in. I'm like, I don't know what this is, but I'm in. And then I'll try and go down and find out what the drama was.

• 13:24Speaker 02

  So I should use it to my advantage.

• 13:27Speaker 01

  I'm saying there's all that stuff going on at the moment about Alex Cooper, Alex Earl. Have we heard, have we heard?

• 13:32Speaker 02

  Oh wait, of course we've heard, but like, we're waiting, we're waiting.

• 13:35Speaker 01

  Do you know the deets, do you know the deets? Joe, do you know the deets? Do you know the deets?

• 13:38Speaker 04

  Give me the deets.

• 13:39Speaker 01

  Alex Cooper hosts Call Her Daddy. Alex Earl, big TikTok person. Alex, Alex Cooper had a fallout with her previous podcast wife, who's now got a book coming out, a memoir about the whole thing. They all worked for Barstool. Alex Cooper hired Alex Earl on her podcast channel. There's been a fallout. It's all real girl on girl crime, very American. Everyone looks the same. There are all these blonde, kind of high titted women, they're all stunning and gorgeous. They're all kind of scrapping online. And while it brings out the worst and the lowest in me, because I'm like, oh my God, who cares? Read a novel in the same breath.

• 14:15Speaker 02

  So badly.

• 14:16Speaker 01

  Exactly, in the same breath, you're in and you want to find out what's going on. And everyone's issuing statements and apologies. And I just feel like Vogue, you could get us a little bit of that traction because their Instas and TikToks are popping like it's fucking hot.

• 14:28Speaker 02

  Do you know what I could do? I could just say, yeah, you know what, you're right. We're broken up, we have broken up. And then the headlines would be like, oh, they're, they're the most amicable couple ever. And we're just there like scoring each other on the street, like snogging away. And everyone's like, oh, they're broken up, how amicable of them. So I might as well actually just join in on it and be like, yeah, actually you're right. We have broken up.

• 14:48Speaker 01

  If you ever do break up, I want the exclusive.

• 14:56Speaker 01

  On the Alex Cooper, Alex Earl of it, I think we should do a bit of a deep dive, even though there's a part of me that's like, this is below me, but there's a bigger part that's like, stick it to my veins.

• 15:07Speaker 02

  Joanne, I've already done a massive deep dive on this. I am knee deep in that situation.

• 15:12Speaker 01

  Oh, I'm ankle deep. I'm toe deep. There's not anything to my body left.

• 15:18Speaker 02

  Oh my God. Well, I'm only at the knees. I'm ready to go in more, but there's a, I'm waiting. I can't go full, I can't go full in until I know what Alex Earl is going to come back and say, because she hasn't brought the receipts back. And where are the receipts? We need to see it. Alex Cooper has some receipts about this other girl who's now waged it on the war. I mean, I want to get involved. Like the publicity surrounding it is just incredible.

• 15:39Speaker 01

  Sorry, I've just realised that I presented ankle deep as deeper than knee deep, when actually it's shallow.

• 15:47Speaker 02

  Oh, I thought you were, well, no, because I was working on the assumption that you had gone in headfirst.

• 15:52Speaker 01

  No, I was.

• 15:52Speaker 02

  And it was only the toes left. That's how I was working it out there. So I thought that you were deeper than I was.

• 15:58Speaker 01

  While you were.

• 15:58Speaker 02

  Are you saying you've gone in at the feet?

• 16:00Speaker 01

  While you were talking there, I was like, Joanne, no, no, no, that made no sense what you said there.

• 16:04Speaker 02

  It made total sense to me because I thought you had dove in. So I thought you only had the toes left to go in, whereas you're saying you stepped in. So, okay.

• 16:12Speaker 01

  Well, I'm, I am, I, I, they're eye deep. There's nothing left. Scalp, a couple of grays.

• 16:19Speaker 02

  She's up to the neck.

• 16:20Speaker 01

  Up the grays, a couple of grays at the top. That's all I can see. I am immersed.

• 16:25Speaker 01

  Immersed and chicken stir fries involved now?

• 16:28Speaker 02

  That's your one. Yeah. I can't remember her chicken shop.

• 16:32Speaker 01

  Brianna, Brianna, no, Brianna chicken stir fries involved now. She went out with that country western singer. Like the whole thing is, it's so toxic. And do you know what? I will actually say it's fucking pathetic. Like I would never in my wildest dreams air my dirty laundry. Like that. I think it's awful. I think it's the lowest of the low. And women, they're literally professional women calling each other mean. Who cares? Who cares? Like.

• 16:58Speaker 02

  I know, but it's, it's kind of, it's kind of childish. Use a better word.

• 17:01Speaker 01

  You're so mean. Women are mean sometimes. Women are mean. Sometimes women are mean. You think that women can never be mean sometimes, or never prioritise their business. It's so, it's so juvenile. But in the same breath.

• 17:13Speaker 02

  We're all over it.

• 17:14Speaker 01

  We're all over it, like a rat up a fucking drainpipe.

• 17:17Speaker 02

  Hopefully for next week's record, we'll have the receipts from Alex Earl and then we can do our proper deep dive on it. Not that we care. We don't care.

• 17:23Speaker 01

  We don't care.

• 17:25Speaker 02

  But we're gonna spend an entire episode on it.

• 17:28Speaker 01

  I'll have a PowerPoint presentation.

• 17:31Speaker 01

  And that's why I know we are part of the problem. But in the same breath, calling women mean, it's, it's, we're not, it's, it's, it doesn't bode well for anyone, do you know?

• 17:43Speaker 02

  No.

• 17:45Speaker 01

  Women are allowed to be mean. You'd never hear Russell Crowe outing, doing a smack talk against Brad Pitt for being mean. Like, you just would never hear it.

• 17:55Speaker 02

  Where the fuck did Russell Crowe come from?

• 17:56Speaker 01

  Dunno. Australia?

• 17:59Speaker 02

  Did you ever been to him?

• 18:00Speaker 01

  Is he in New Zealand? Where's he from? Australia?

• 18:02Speaker 02

  He's Australia. He's Australia. He used to live in my apartment block. Do you not remember? He was, he lived in my apartment block. Dear friend.

• 18:08Speaker 01

  I do remember.

• 18:09Speaker 02

  Dear friend of mine.

• 18:10Speaker 01

  It's your dinner party story. Of course I remember.

• 18:14Speaker 02

  I've been to him all the time. Close as anything.

• 18:18Speaker 01

  There was a vibe. That was just a point I wanted to make and we will do a deeper dive on it that I think women calling each other mean on the internet is, I'm gonna go so far as to say pathetic.

• 18:28Speaker 02

  I've no idea why I care. I don't know why I know all of Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt's kids' names. I don't know why I know these things, but I do. And I find myself just being interested in things that like, I wish I'd just like read a book about World War II or something, but I just find celebrity stuff more interesting.

• 18:45Speaker 01

  Well, I'm sorry now, if you, if you had any information on the divorce between Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, you would know it was bigger than World War II. There was a whole vineyard they had to split up and it was toxic as fuck.

• 18:55Speaker 02

  I even know what the wine was called from the vineyard and I don't like wine. That's how invested I was. Okay. Hey, girls and Joe, I think it's time we lesbian community let Vogue, Joanne and Joe in on just how chaotic the lesbian world can be. I would like to say I'm very involved in the lesbian world already. I know lots about it. I have a lesbian sister.

• 19:15Speaker 02

  You were always saying how much easier you both think it would be to navigate the lesbian world as opposed to the world of straight men, but let me tell you something, it's horror.

• 19:25Speaker 01

  I'll interrupt you there. Just because you have a lesbian sister, my brother's an accountant and I am numerically dyslexic, so it doesn't give you any expertise. Carry on, please.

• 19:34Speaker 02

  I would disagree. I know, I know. We're very close.

• 19:37Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 19:37Speaker 02

  Not that close.

• 19:38Speaker 01

  So, so I got to work with him. Yeah, I know exactly.

• 19:42Speaker 02

  You got to work with him, do you?

• 19:44Speaker 01

  Yeah, bring in his lunchboxes.

• 19:45Speaker 02

  She absolutely loves her timetables. Cannot get enough of them. Absolutely adores it. Wants to take on her own taxes next year, so she says. And this is a concept I like to call lesbian circularity. Basically, we all share each other. I knew that, do you know?

• 20:01Speaker 01

  So did I. I've said this a million times. I've said it.

• 20:05Speaker 02

  I'm from Hoth. We all share each other there too. If, if, all of my friends, we used to, it just was like a circular thing. The boys would, we'd wait until somebody broke up with somebody, then you'd go out with them. It was just, it's the circle.

• 20:17Speaker 01

  It's a numbers game. Hoth should have that app that Iceland has to see are you riding anyone who's actually DNA connected to you. Do you know Iceland has that app? Hoth should have, yeah, there's an app in Iceland. Yes, Jo, Jo, yes, Jo, Jo, yeah, I can see her little doubt in B D O.

• 20:34Speaker 04

  I'm just, I'm amused by it. I didn't know it was a thing.

• 20:37Speaker 01

  Yeah, there's an app there because it's a very tiny, I think it's Iceland.

• 20:43Speaker 02

  Iceland is small.

• 20:44Speaker 01

  When you meet someone, you can put your bits and bobs into this app and it'll tell you if you are genetically related. And I, basically, are you gonna have weird kids?

• 20:55Speaker 04

  It includes genealogical data for over 95% of the population, helping users avoid accidentally dating relatives by bumping phones together to check.

• 21:05Speaker 02

  I can't stand when you date a relative by accident. It's so embarrassing, isn't it?

• 21:10Speaker 01

  It's all very Black Mirror. This is what it's gonna be like on Mars.

• 21:15Speaker 02

  Okay, so this is a concept we call lesbian circularity. Basically, we all share each other. I think the easiest way to describe to be would, to use Vogue's many ex-husbands as an example. When to.

• 21:28Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 21:29Speaker 02

  When Vogue does.

• 21:30Speaker 01

  I'm listening. I'm in.

• 21:32Speaker 02

  When Vogue divorced husband one and got with husband two, she didn't have to do her research to see if one and two had been together before, or so I'd hope.

• 21:41Speaker 01

  Oh, I didn't think about that part.

• 21:44Speaker 02

  Mm hmm. I think that's like, you're just, maybe I did have to do my research, you don't know. You don't know what they're into. Um, but that's what us lesbians have to do all the time. See, in the lesbian world, it goes full circle. Number one got with Vogue, who then got with number two, but as far as it goes, it's linear. But in the gay world, circular. So imagine Vogue gets with number one and with number two, but number two could also get with number one. Do you see the predicament? And given the fact the pool is so much smaller, this tends to happen a lot. It does. I dated a girl a few years ago, let's call her girl A. We dated, this feels very forensic, I love it. We dated a couple of months, we weren't exclusive, so we're still dating other people. Enter girl B.

• 22:28Speaker 02

  Now, in my mind, that would be very un lesbian of the lesbian community.

• 22:33Speaker 01

  I'm writing this down, girl B. Okay, go on.

• 22:35Speaker 02

  Because in my experience of the lesbians I know, when a lesbian gets with another lesbian, they immediately fall in love and tend to move in with each other within weeks, which feels very me, but it's also very the lesbians that I know. But this is-

• 22:50Speaker 01

  It's very, I would say, female, potentially, I think.

• 22:54Speaker 02

  I no longer wanted to date girl A, I went exclusive with girl B. After some time, I finished with girl B. A couple of months later, I'm scrolling Instagram and I see that girl A and girl B are off on holidays together. I don't know, now dating each other a year later.

• 23:12Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 23:14Speaker 02

  I'm at an event with a new girl I'm dating. Girl B is there with her new girl, no longer with girl A. Her new girl also happens to be my new girl's ex. Just a typical night out in the lesbian world, honestly. I now go to therapy every week.

• 23:31Speaker 01

  I'm sorry, I was genuinely writing that down and I've completely lost track.

• 23:36Speaker 02

  I understand it. So the next time you both think you'd rather be lesbians or that this world is easier, trust me, I'd rather date a narcissist man. Well, now, here you go. My husband, I mean, not to be rude about him, but he has, no, but he has been around the block. So usually when I, when I meet somebody and I'm introduced, I'm like, I wonder. And then I'll wait, obviously. I will be kind and say, hello, how are you? And then Spenny after, I'm like, well.

• 24:03Speaker 01

  That is actually, that is actually a fair writer reply there.

• 24:06Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 24:06Speaker 01

  In fairness, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 24:08Speaker 02

  Yeah. So same thing, if you marry a Jorge, can I say that? What I've been meaning, I think Jorge makes it nice. No?

• 24:14Speaker 01

  That's, that's cute. It sounds exotic. Jorge.

• 24:17Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 24:17Speaker 01

  Yeah. You're not.

• 24:17Speaker 02

  It's not whore. Whore sounds aggressive. Jorge, cute.

• 24:21Speaker 01

  Yeah. You're not calling him a slag. You're like, Jorge is, like he's, yeah, like he's one of the, what are those called? What are those little, what are those little animals? The, um.

• 24:29Speaker 02

  A Jurosal bunny?

• 24:30Speaker 01

  No, the three of those little animals, the little chipmunk guys, they were, uh.

• 24:34Speaker 02

  Oh, Alvin and the Chipmunks?

• 24:35Speaker 01

  Three musketeers.

• 24:37Speaker 02

  Oh.

• 24:43Speaker 02

  What are those two things? The treat, the treat, Chipmunk. Oh, okay. Alvin, Simon and Theodore? No.

• 24:52Speaker 02

  Well, everyone, thank you for listening and, uh, we are deeply appreciative of your time.

• 24:58Speaker 01

  Subscribe.

• 25:00Speaker 02

  Subscribe, please, to the YouTube before Jo has a hernia. Uh, Joanne, I was, I'm gonna do a shoot with Spenny now in a second. I've got my light, I'm just charging it. So expect those pictures ASAP.

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• 25:45Speaker 00

  This has been a Global Player original production.