Brisbane, Madonna & "The matter is closed"

The word iconic is overused these days, but Sabrina Carpenter bringing Madonna on stage?? ICONIC. Does it mean Vogue and Joanne have changed their minds about Coachella?? Absolutely not. If you’d like to get in touch, you can send an email to [email protected] mailto:[email protected] You can now watch FULL video episodes of My Therapist Ghosted Me! Visit www.youtube.com/@mtgmpod http://www.youtube.com/@mtgmpod and remember to subscribe! Please review Global's Privacy Policy:https://global.com/legal/privacy-policy/ For merch, tour dates and more visit:https://www.mytherapistghostedme.com/www.mytherapistghostedme.com http://www.mytherapistghostedme.com/

• 0:02Speaker 00

  This is a Global Player original podcast.

• 0:05Speaker 01

  Can I clear something up?

• 0:07Speaker 02

  Is it a UTI?

• 0:08Speaker 01

  If you start asking me for snacks, Joanne McNally, you're dead.

• 0:12Speaker 02

  I want screen time, Vogue. They're like, did you hear Vogue Williams? She hijacked a plane and flew it into the co-op. The older I get, I've decided to wear less and less clothes. By the time I'm doing my last tour in my 70s, I'm gonna have a nipple tassel.

• 0:26Speaker 01

  I'll get the odd comment from somebody being like, bikinis at your age.

• 0:31Speaker 02

  Okay, okay, I stand corrected on a couple of points. Everyone's crying, the world is burning. I consider this matter closed.

• 0:37Speaker 01

  Yeah, this is done.

• 0:44Speaker 02

  I don't even know where to start.

• 0:45Speaker 01

  Let's start with hello and welcoming, welcoming. Hello and welcome to My Therapist Goated Me with me, Vogue Williams and Joanne McNally. Why'd you put on the shades? You've nice makeup on.

• 0:58Speaker 02

  I've hit the biggest wall, mental wall in my life. My, I am fried to fuck. I forgot my laptop, my notes, several meetings, even on the meds. I'm just, I've just, I've no, I've nothing. I've no energy. It's weird. I'm just gone. I'm flat. It's like I've been, it's like I've had my personality vacuumed out of my brain. I'm just, I'm like, I'm almost tipping on a vegetative stage, I would say.

• 1:30Speaker 01

  Sometimes that just happens though. Like that will happen to me where I'm just like, I just, I haven't, I haven't, do you know what? That's, that happens to me around seven o'clock every night. Like, I don't make that up. I just, I feel like, every night at seven o'clock, I'm like, I don't want, I can't, no more, no more people.

• 1:47Speaker 02

  You have a lot more going on.

• 1:49Speaker 01

  I'm surrounded by people and noise.

• 1:51Speaker 02

  Yeah, you have a lot more. I have no dependence, so you have a lot more going on. So I can understand by 7pm every day where you'd feel like that. Whereas I, I don't. So, and I pride myself on having a lot of mental resilience. Like I can go and go and go and I can work and work and work. But something shifted in me 24 hours ago and I'm telling you, I'm almost having, I'm, I think I'm dissociating. So anyway, this will be good.

• 2:13Speaker 01

  But your own body.

• 2:18Speaker 02

  It's like, it's just like nothing. I can't.

• 2:20Speaker 01

  Really is a mental health podcast today.

• 2:22Speaker 02

  Yeah. I don't have any mental health today. It's gone.

• 2:27Speaker 02

  I'm mentally incompetent, but it'll be fine. I think I just need to, it's just all the fucking time zones and doing double shows and all like, and I'm not complaining. As we know, I love my job. I don't even think of it as a job. I love it so much. However, like I say, there's a little bit of brain frazzle at the moment. Anyway.

• 2:45Speaker 01

  I have to say, I was excited to get, I was excited to get back to my job. Easter holidays were long and I was like, I need to, in the nicest way possible, like you want to be like, I've loved spending so much time with the kids, but Jesus, like I needed to get back to work. I couldn't wait to get back to work. Cause this is like, I feel like when I'm working, like I kind of like, I'm in shut off mode and like, you're a bit more selfish because you're kind of just thinking of, of yourself because you're working, you're doing your job and.

• 3:12Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 3:13Speaker 01

  It's quite nice.

• 3:14Speaker 02

  Well, I've had several emails.

• 3:16Speaker 01

  Me for snacks, Joanne McNally or dead.

• 3:22Speaker 02

  Give me, I want screen time folk. Put on Peppa Pig.

• 3:28Speaker 01

  Just 10 more minutes, two more minutes.

• 3:31Speaker 02

  Peppa Pig, Peppa Pig. She's still a hit in the house.

• 3:34Speaker 01

  You want to see this ma, sorry, Joanne, this mad shit that Gigi watches. It's like, like, it's like these children organizers. I mean, she didn't lick it off the ground. They are organizing their rooms and stuff like that. And she, she loves watching and loves watching the end when everything is all finished. I'm like, oh my God.

• 3:53Speaker 02

  You should got, you should get her into the Korean TikTok. I love to zone out and watch a Korean woman sanitize her apartment when she comes home in the evening. It's, it's incredibly satisfying. Yeah.

• 4:04Speaker 01

  Do you know how close I've come to buying, to buying that thing that you, you, they put on their shoes? You know, the little, the light? Oh my God, the light that they're like getting all the dirt off my shoes and they, they, they like put this like blue light on their shoes to clean off the dirt. I don't know what it is. I'm like, I need it.

• 4:20Speaker 02

  They come in, they're, they're, they're usually single women living in Korea. South Korea.

• 4:26Speaker 01

  There's one in New York that does it as well. Snow friends in New York.

• 4:29Speaker 02

  They're highly organised. If we had to kind of, if we had to put them in a, in a pocket of Joanne Land or Vogue Land, they'd certainly be more swimming around the Vogue Lands. They come in and they take their little shoes off and they put them in this little kind of, like it looks like a microwave and it sanitises the shoes. Now, I mean, the more I say it, I'm like, these women are clearly meant, they're mentally ill. Like, it's obviously some sort of germaphobe thing. Anyway, it's great content. And while I'm covered in my own crisp dust and my room is fucking chaos and there's like human feces on the wall, I'll just watch for hours, these Korean women sanitise their own.

• 5:07Speaker 02

  There's like ants and rats coming, crawling out of the wardrobes and all, I'll just kind of focus, hyper-focus on these women. Oh, there's like dry egg on the carpet. But then they put their phone in a little, it looks like a toaster and then that sanitises the phone. And yeah, isn't it great Vogue, isn't it great?

• 5:25Speaker 01

  There's also a woman that I watch, I don't know where she is, but the overconsumption of the shite that she has. And I watch her like pack her daughter's lunchbox with all this like mad stuff. And then she's packing to go to gym class and she might have about 10 different containers, one for bobbins, one for mints and chewing gums, one, I'm like, what the, how, how does she have the time? Like, I don't, it kind of, it kind of makes me feel a bit bad about myself because I'm like, I just, I feel like, I feel like I'm as neat and tidy as I can be, but there's just no possible way to go further unless I buy the shoe cleaner, which I am considering it's in my basket.

• 6:01Speaker 02

  I know who you're talking about. And again, I have fallen down that hell. I, I can't remember her handle, she, because obviously the algorithm is very telling and toxic, and so it just keeps refeeding her. But like I say, it is, it is, I'm like, this woman has money to fucking burn.

• 6:17Speaker 01

  The thing about it is, she has money to burn, her house is enormous, but like she spends a lot of time cleaning it all herself. And she's like, I'm going to reset my daughter's room. She's coming home from camp and she does this like big mad clean. And I'm like, I would have thought she would have had someone to do that for her. So I'm confused sometimes.

• 6:33Speaker 02

  Ah, but she does, but it's, it's content. She's making, she's a content creator. She's the woman who had the Stanley Cup with like the bowl around her, she used it to the bath with all the hors d'oeuvres and like little volvants and all. There was like basically the attachment to the Stanley. There's an attachment for the Stanley, which is basically like a huge kind of sharing plate that attaches to the top. And then she fills it with Skittles and stuff and then takes herself off to the bath for a bubble bath. It's, yeah, I mean, we could be reading.

• 7:03Speaker 01

  Like, it must weigh about three kilos by the time she's done. She's just filling it with loads of snacks and shit. But I, like, I find myself, and they're always in America, the ones I watch, this woman who built this whole, like, Super Bowl snack tray. And she, like, built it from scratch with, like, wood and everything. Like, it was amazing. But, like, she had all these different things with.

• 7:22Speaker 02

  With what?

• 7:23Speaker 01

  With wood. And she built this massive thing. Yeah, it must have been two meters by two meters. And she had all these slots for the drinks and then all these slots. And then she's just pouring all these different snacks in. And then, like, everybody comes in and helps themselves to the, to her Super Bowl snack tray. And I was like, hey, where is she storing that snack tray? It's like you with that ghost. We know where you store the ghost, but like, the ghost that will never come out of storage.

• 7:45Speaker 02

  Do you mean?

• 7:47Speaker 01

  Do you remember the ghost?

• 7:48Speaker 02

  I thought, I was like, oh my God, she means one of my exes. You mean the actual physical ghost from my therapist ghost to me, the live tour that Kevin Carey now stores in his stores in Dublin?

• 7:56Speaker 01

  Yeah. If we ever go to Oregon, we can actually use the same ghost.

• 8:01Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He's well protected. He, Kevin Carey also has my Prosecco bottle from the Prosecco Express store.

• 8:09Speaker 01

  Oh, I know. He uses it, he's used it for his Christmas parties. I asked you, Anne, she said I could use it for my Christmas party.

• 8:19Speaker 02

  He has. I think he has, I'm almost sure he has the Baraka Tube from the First Vicar Street I ever did. Thank you, Kevin.

• 8:25Speaker 01

  Yeah, he has everything.

• 8:27Speaker 02

  It's my own personal vault for whatever I have done. I'm like Celine Dion. Do you remember Celine Dion? Have you heard about this, you know, that she has a wardrobe out in the desert where she drives out and everything's kind of like motorized and stuff? Speaking of which, will we get straight into the Madonna scandal?

• 8:44Speaker 01

  Oh, her outfits. Basically Madonna did Coachella and she was on stage with Sabrina Carpenter, which was amazing. We'll get back to that. But she was wearing outfits that she had basically like from her archive, these incredible outfits. And they were robbed when she was doing herself. Now, what I will say is very difficult to walk by a Madonna outfit and not steal it. It's always be tough. I can understand, I can understand that the robber.

• 9:13Speaker 02

  Firstly, Vogue, it always massively confuses me when you give context for a story. So again, I think it should be applauded. Joe, I think little rewards for the treats. Give her a gummy bear, give her something to keep her gout.

• 9:26Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 9:27Speaker 03

  A pound in a jar.

• 9:28Speaker 02

  Give her a virtual, give her a virtual high five like we do in Peloton. Give her a virtual high five, Joe.

• 9:34Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 9:35Speaker 02

  Blows my mind.

• 9:39Speaker 02

  Vogue's one of those people who comes into the room talking. Have you ever met someone like that? They come in mid-story and you have to kind of do a lot of the maths yourself to figure out what's happened, what's happening and where in the story you're supposed to chip in.

• 9:51Speaker 01

  My favourite thing to do is to walk in and hear someone talking and be like, what, what, what? Until they'll, until they'll have to retell the whole story.

• 10:00Speaker 02

  And sometimes I've.

• 10:02Speaker 01

  Nothing to do with you.

• 10:03Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know. I just love a bit of goss. Sometimes I'm like, who's pregnant? And then they'll have to, they'll have to take 15 minutes to explain to me who they are. And then I'll be like, oh, even though I don't know them.

• 10:13Speaker 02

  Or have you had the Vogue Spencer sandwich experience, Joe? Where they both speak to you at the same time about different things?

• 10:19Speaker 03

  Not with them, but I know what you mean. When two people seem completely unaware.

• 10:25Speaker 01

  We're unwell.

• 10:26Speaker 03

  Is talking and you feel rude to both of them.

• 10:29Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 10:29Speaker 03

  Because you don't know who you're supposed to reply to.

• 10:32Speaker 02

  You're like.

• 10:33Speaker 01

  Me, always me.

• 10:34Speaker 02

  You're like.

• 10:34Speaker 01

  Always me.

• 10:35Speaker 02

  You're like those driver free cars in LA. You have to make some moral, you have to make some moral decisions about who gets priority in that instant because you're like, do I kill Spencer's conversation or do I kill Vogue's conversation? And usually I end up killing Vogue's.

• 10:48Speaker 01

  He's just talking about himself. So you can always go back to it. So come back to Spenny always.

• 10:54Speaker 02

  You and me are talking about Venezuela, are we?

• 10:56Speaker 01

  You and I are talking about important things like the Strade of Hormuz. And Spenny is just over in the corner showing us his abs again. We don't need to see that, we already know.

• 11:03Speaker 02

  I think I bought a second hand Hermuz the other day, actually, in a, in a very nice second hand designer shop in Brisbane. Is that what, is that what you mean? Hermuz.

• 11:13Speaker 01

  You're going to be parading that bag around. Everyone's going to be like, look at she wants, she's doing really well. Look at her, look at her Hermez, look at her.

• 11:24Speaker 04

  Shaq here. What's it like to buy a car from Carvana 100% online and get it delivered to your door? Let me tell you. Your car is here, Mr. Shaq. Thank you, Mr. Carvana guy. Can't wait to take it for a spin. Only the best for you, Mr. Shaq. Hey, have you always been so big, tall and handsome? Not always. I was 6'10" once. Seven days to love it or return it, Mr. Shaq. Not that I would. You never do. No, I never do. So buy your car today on Carvana. Delivery fees may apply. See our seven day return policy at carvana.com.

• 11:57Speaker 02

  By the way, Vogue, when we do eventually bring Ghosted live back to Australia, which we will, we will be booking in a lot of additional time in Brizzy.

• 12:09Speaker 01

  In Brisbane.

• 12:10Speaker 02

  It is, I, I don't know, it's, it's like it's had some bougie explosion. It's like LA. Now, where I was staying was quite nice.

• 12:18Speaker 01

  Brisbane's amazing.

• 12:19Speaker 02

  No offence to Brisbane, but I don't remember it being this amazing.

• 12:23Speaker 01

  Joanne, I'm pretty sure you, no, I'm, I'm, I'm almost sure we have had this exact same conversation the last time you were in Brisbane. I think every time you go to Brisbane, you're like, oh my God. What is this place?

• 12:37Speaker 02

  It's like Beverly Hills, the shopping. Now, I was in one area called Fortitude, which is like super bougie. But wow, wow, wow, wow. Anyway, and stunning weather and everything. Anyway, there was this little Aussie, not little, this shop called Swap, where they take secondhand designer stuff. I actually tried to flog at them, but, because I went in shopping and the next day, because my suitcase is now at capacity. And when I, when I say at capacity, I mean, over additional capacity. And Kylie has to take stuff and JJ, the sound guy, has to take stuff in his bag. And JJ's got like, you know, a crock in his bag belonging to me and all this. So I actually went in to try and sell them a load of my clothes. They're like, yeah, we don't take, we don't take Zara. This is.

• 13:26Speaker 02

  This is a designer shop. Okay.

• 13:30Speaker 01

  Excuse me, this is vintage Misselfridge. Vintage.

• 13:35Speaker 02

  You're obviously not familiar with Penny's work because if you were,

• 13:40Speaker 02

  you'd be very committed to be taking my line of Primark stuff.

• 13:45Speaker 02

  But, but anyway, there was this insane handbag and then in the shop, there was some Irish women who were coming to the show that evening. And they were like, are you getting the bag? Are you getting the bag? And I got really self-conscious then that I was like swanning around.

• 13:58Speaker 01

  Is that the bag you sent me?

• 14:00Speaker 02

  Yes, this insane handbag, this Balenciaga handbag. And Nikki doesn't really like me to wear any other brands except for anxious preoccupied. But I'm like, please, please, can I please wear something?

• 14:10Speaker 01

  Well, I prefer the barrel of anxious preoccupied, by the way.

• 14:13Speaker 02

  To the one that I sent you?

• 14:15Speaker 01

  Mm hmm, I do.

• 14:16Speaker 02

  Yeah, no, no, I know. It's a bit much, isn't it? It's like a clown bag. It's like a clown.

• 14:19Speaker 01

  So hang on, you went in to sell clothes because you've too many clothes and everyone's having to take your clothes everywhere. But you decided to buy clothes instead is what's happened.

• 14:28Speaker 02

  No, no, no, reverse, reverse. I went in to buy clothes, knowing I have too many clothes. And then the next day felt guilty about my, about my, my capitalist consumerism. And then I was like, do you know what I'll do? I'll put clothes back into the system. So I went back in with a load of my clothes and they were like, we don't want any of this trash. Get out. Now, they did take a couple of things off me, which makes me feel less guilty about buying blah, blah, blah. Anyway, the women, the girl.

• 14:55Speaker 01

  I actually, sorry, I have to, I have to do, I have to do a little plug here. Because I have a vintage account and I've just uploaded more stuff on it. And basically my last load that I did, I made four grand for charity.

• 15:08Speaker 02

  Nice.

• 15:10Speaker 01

  Every clear out that I do, yeah, it really, it really works. I was like, this is amazing. So I sent my, my bank account and she sent it all there.

• 15:20Speaker 02

  I was gonna say, the charity, the giant crustacean, the giant crustacean charity.

• 15:27Speaker 01

  No, I have two charities that I'm choosing between and neither are the charity of Vogue Williams. They are all separate entities and real, because I'm gonna do like loads of different ones, I think. Amber's furious because she doesn't believe in charity and she doesn't get to have a little look at the stuff before it goes to Vinted. So everything that is on Vinted is solely for everybody to buy. Let me find my Vinted, sorry, hang on. Okay, so it is Vogue Williams one. Oh, how different.

• 15:57Speaker 03

  Stinger that you couldn't get Vogue Williams.

• 15:58Speaker 02

  I can see why you couldn't remember it.

• 16:00Speaker 01

  Vogue Williams was already taken.

• 16:02Speaker 02

  By who?

• 16:05Speaker 01

  Listen, I don't know. It's actually, have you ever tried to buy a website? I'm trying to buy a website at the moment.

• 16:10Speaker 02

  That's Amber trying to make sure you don't set up a Vinted account so she can get all your clothes.

• 16:14Speaker 01

  She's trying to sell me the vintage name Vogue Williams. She's like, if you want Vogue Williams, you'll have to pay for it. Five grand, five grand.

• 16:23Speaker 02

  I remember years ago when I was only kind of, I just moved to London. This was back in my mushroom toilet days when there was mushrooms growing out the back of the toilet and all. And before I started buying knockoff Balenciaga handbags, full of guilt and trying to hide the price from the Irish girls in the queue behind me. It's second hand, second hand.

• 16:43Speaker 01

  Doesn't count, doesn't count.

• 16:46Speaker 02

  I was like that and they're like, Jerome, we don't care, you're grand. Yeah, but anyway, I do have a lot of guilt about stuff like that. But I tried to sell some of my clothes on Depop or something, I can't remember. And a girl messaged me and she was like, you shouldn't be selling your clothes for yourself, you should be giving the money to charity. Like, i.e. I was like, I don't know what, I don't know how much money I am, I'm living in a shared house with 14 other women. And there's mushrooms growing out the back of my toilet. Like, I'm not, I'm not Kim K, do you know? Like, I could actually do it with the money myself. I'm doing mostly open spots and working for free.

• 17:20Speaker 01

  Kim K, sorry, the Kardashian closet. Kim gives it, no, Kim gives it to her auntie and her auntie sells it and her auntie. Keeps the money.

• 17:30Speaker 02

  I was wondering.

• 17:31Speaker 01

  Kim doesn't, yeah, that's not, I don't think that's a charity thing. And Joe, double check.

• 17:36Speaker 03

  Shall we have an allegedly on that?

• 17:38Speaker 01

  No, because I'm sure she said that, she said that on an episode of The Colossians, that her auntie sells it for her and then her auntie keeps the money.

• 17:45Speaker 02

  And like, we are, you know, we are in a, we're more like aware now about fast fashion, all that shit. So I'm like, I'd rather, and I, and I'd rather make, and these are decisions I'm able to make. Buy less, but like slightly nicer bits. But I do feel, because I have a student soul, at the end of the day, I am, and I feel guilty when I spend money. I feel guilty about it. Makes me feel like shit. But since that woman pulled me up, of course, then I obviously had to donate the money to charity. I think I made like 60 quid or something. Yeah. Imagine ringing up UNICEF, they're like, oh, thanks. But anyway, so since then, I've always done that.

• 18:21Speaker 01

  That's from me, just so you know. That's Joanne McNally. Yeah, that's from me. You can send me a letter in the post.

• 18:27Speaker 02

  Send me the, send me a photo of the wing when I get it. But since then, I have always, in fairness, I have, when I sell clothes, except the other day when I, I actually, in Australia, I used the money to buy that handbag. But what I was gonna say was, there is currently a sale of, it's kind of the remnants of a clothes sale for, on second row, which is, they sell, in inverted commas, celebrity secondhand clothes, and all the money goes to the United Palestinian Appeal. So there you go.

• 18:55Speaker 01

  There you go.

• 18:56Speaker 02

  Are we, are we saints? Is that what we are? Are we just saints? Joe, who are your chosen charities, Joe?

• 19:05Speaker 03

  Uh, on, uh, Globes make some noise, of course. On the subject of Kardashian closet.

• 19:12Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 19:13Speaker 03

  It suggests that a portion goes to charity, but primarily it goes back into the family purse.

• 19:21Speaker 01

  Can you, uh, do you know how much some of the shit is on there? I was like, oh my God, I want to own some of, something Kim Kardashian. And then I was like, Jesus Christ, I don't even think that cost, like, it doesn't cost that, even at retail, I will not be purchasing.

• 19:35Speaker 02

  Well, funnily you bring that up, I was in another secondhand designer shop that I frequent when I'm in the emeticus.

• 19:45Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 19:46Speaker 02

  And I went in and I was looking at the stuff and it's like they would have taken my Zara bits now in front of them, but they do sell, they sell like kind of high-end shit and then they also sell like just like normal shit, right? Now, the stuff is in good condition versus the actual original price, there was literally a tenner off it, a tenner. I was like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I'm not, I'm not being conned here.

• 20:05Speaker 01

  Can I clear something up?

• 20:06Speaker 02

  Is it a UTI?

• 20:07Speaker 01

  No, it is not a UTI, although I always have a prescription on the ready just in case because it is one of the most painful and annoying things that a woman can ever have. Painful, it is absolutely, I'd rather thrush, but now saying that I don't get thrush, so I don't touch wood. Remember, I'm not a thrush girl, remember?

• 20:25Speaker 02

  You're not a thrush girl.

• 20:26Speaker 01

  I said that to someone the other day, I say that a lot.

• 20:28Speaker 02

  You have a great pH balance, it's on your Wikipedia.

• 20:30Speaker 01

  I do.

• 20:31Speaker 02

  Great pH, vaginally, mentally not so much, but vaginally very balanced, that's what it says.

• 20:36Speaker 01

  So, one of my best pregnancy compliments that I've been getting, people are sending me, now when I say people, I've seen four, but still, four's a lot.

• 20:45Speaker 02

  Four's a lot.

• 20:46Speaker 01

  Four's a lot. They've been saying that you should, you shouldn't get Botox when you're pregnant.

• 20:51Speaker 02

  Oh, I'm delighted for you, Vok, I'm delighted for you.

• 20:56Speaker 01

  Thank you. Because I've been thinking to myself, I'm gonna have to wear a tight pony to pull the head back. And when I saw them, I was like, because this woman, and she's a doctor as well, so I know she's been a snake, because also when I looked back at her messages, one of them was really abusive about Botox, also when I was pregnant, so I didn't even have it then either. And she's like, are you allowed to get Botox when you're pregnant? You're a doctor. Anyway, I said, no, you're not sadly, and so thank you.

• 21:21Speaker 02

  Oh, you engaged.

• 21:22Speaker 01

  I have not been getting Botox.

• 21:23Speaker 02

  You engaged with the accusations? Hmm, you engaged, yeah.

• 21:28Speaker 01

  No, I just, yeah, well, I, no, do you know what I did? I actually said, no, unfortunately not. And then I looked at her message and then I saw the one above it slagging off my Botox in a different message. And I was like, oh, you're not being kind actually.

• 21:41Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 21:42Speaker 01

  And then I was like, hang on, and I didn't have. Yeah, and I didn't have Botox in the previous one as well because it was also when I was pregnant. I cannot remember the last time I've had Botox because you're not allowed to have it. No one will touch you. I can't even get a laser to my face, like nothing. You can get nothing. Barely get a hair dye.

• 21:59Speaker 02

  I could probably sort that for you, Vogue, if you wanted. Have some contacts. So you remember, do you remember I'm on the dark? Just, do you remember I had the dark web on my laptop? I'm pretty sure I can get you a bit of pregnancy botox.

• 22:09Speaker 01

  Oh, wow. No, can you imagine something happened and you're like, oh, what happened? Oh, well, I actually just, I really needed botox. And then people like, Stop, I know. There's no real forgiving of that.

• 22:24Speaker 05

  Have you ever laughed at something you definitely shouldn't have? Like, you know, it's bad, but you just can't help it.

• 22:30Speaker 06

  That's basically the entire premise of our podcast, Shouldn't Laugh But with me, Laura Smith.

• 22:34Speaker 05

  And me, Carmen Butcher.

• 22:36Speaker 06

  We get into those moments that are a bit awkward, a bit chaotic, and yeah, sometimes a bit wrong, but very funny. Think wild confessions, questionable decisions, and the kind of stories you probably shouldn't admit out loud, but we do anyway.

• 22:52Speaker 05

  It's the stuff you'd normally only say to your closest mates, if that.

• 22:55Speaker 06

  Where can you get us from, Calms?

• 22:57Speaker 05

  Listen and watch on Global Player, YouTube, or wherever you get your podcasts.

• 23:01Speaker 06

  Very good.

• 23:07Speaker 02

  In the interest of finishing stories, which is one of our big, big goals for 2026. Coachella in general. Now, it's called the Influencer Olympics. We have no interest in going, ever. This is the first year I was like, oh, this is kind of interesting. So Justin Bieber, I'm sure you're aware, did a controversial performance, we would say. He was paid the most of any Coachella act ever. I'm pretty sure he's his own agent now.

• 23:35Speaker 01

  Five mil, yeah, five mil a weekend.

• 23:37Speaker 02

  Yeah, so 10. He was paid 10, 10 million. And he negotiated himself and it was this very pared back performance where it was him and playing old YouTube videos and I saw him standing beside his younger self, I'm assuming that was AI and I'd gone down a hole, I don't know, but people were kind of saying it was boring and it wasn't enough and then other people were saying it was perfect because it was like, kind of, um, what's the term I'm trying to use for, what's the term when people don't clutter up their houses? It's like reduced.

• 24:06Speaker 01

  Minimalist.

• 24:07Speaker 02

  Minimalist, yeah, that they're saying, he's obviously had, as most child stars do, some form of nervous breakdown in his past and has kind of managed to fix himself, come back, he's sober now, he's clean and that this wasn't a, you know, Beyonce style, like pyrotechnic, bungee jumping in, firing himself out of a cannon performance, it was like, kind of pared back and it was really sweet and lovely and great to see.

• 24:34Speaker 01

  And it took him a lot to get there, Hailey Bieber said.

• 24:37Speaker 02

  Correct, Hailey.

• 24:37Speaker 01

  It took, it took a lot to get there and actually when you look behind all of that, actually, maybe that's just what he was up for at that stage and maybe he'll make his bigger comeback another time and like this is him stepping his, his foot back in.

• 24:51Speaker 02

  I think headlining Coachella is a pretty, that's a comeback in itself. He's made an artistic decision. He's like, I'm not going big, I'm not going to big dicks ring and I'm going to pare back. I also think there's something over song rights because I think he ran out of money and he sold his entire back catalogue. So I don't think he actually owns a lot of his own songs. Now, don't quote me on that because obviously I haven't, that's one thing I would say allegedly. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 25:14Speaker 01

  No, that is true. He, he, yeah, so he couldn't, he wasn't actually allowed to play them. It's like when I went to see Pitbull, he wasn't allowed to play, like, he couldn't really play the whole song because obviously other people had sang over it and stuff. So they were like really short songs. Well, it's kind of like that, but not really, you know what I mean? Um, I think Coachella though, like it does look fun, it's crazy expensive, people seem to absolutely adore it. I loved Madonna coming on with Sabrina Carpenter. It is a shame someone nicked her stuff. I mean, come on, it's Madonna, like seriously, that's all her back catalogue of amazing stuff that she will, that that, that stuff will go on, this is nearly as bad as the Louvre robbery because that stuff will go on, on, on show. Like Madonna will eventually have this huge

• 25:59Speaker 01

  museum where all of her cool stage outfits because she is like, she's iconic and all of her stuff that she's worn and she's done is, is iconic and she looked. Amazing onstage with Sabrina Carpenter.

• 26:13Speaker 02

  Well, can I say, I found the performance life altering. And I know that's, I know that's a big swing. I know it's a big swing. Honest to God, I, I, I didn't know it was happening because I'm in my own little,

• 26:28Speaker 02

  you know, tour bubble and I, I was, came onstage and doing my usual doom scroll and I had no idea they were planned on collaborating. I don't think anyone did. I think they're kind of surprised. She was a surprise guest. It was phenomenal, phenomenal. Now, I'm not, I'm going to mention her age, but I'm not, I'm mentioning her age so that I can circle back about the fact it's not about her age, right? But obviously I have to bring her age into it to tell, say it's not about her age. She's 67 years of age, right? She's up there.

• 26:55Speaker 01

  She's 67?

• 26:56Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah. And Sabrina is like, Sabrina's only 26.

• 27:02Speaker 01

  Twenty, do you know how bad that made me feel about myself when I found out she was 26? I'm like, look what she has achieved.

• 27:08Speaker 02

  I know.

• 27:08Speaker 01

  Think about where we were. Joanna, we were in the same place at 26. Think about where we were.

• 27:13Speaker 02

  In fairness, I'd say she's been working, I'd say she's, she's a Disney kid. I'd say she's been working since she was three months old. Do you know what I mean? So like, she's 26 chronologically, but like business wise, I'd say she's in her late 70s at this stage. Do you know what I mean? She's had a lot of Minnelli style career already.

• 27:30Speaker 01

  But Madonna's, Madonna has been working that hard for her whole career as well. And I was saying when I saw her, I went to see her twice and she did this unbelievable, like one of the best shows I've ever been to. I did not know she was 67, like how she was doing that night after night after night is just wild.

• 27:47Speaker 02

  Do you not remember there was one, one tour that she did, part of the routine was she did like 60 squats in the middle of, these like jumping squats. I want to say it was to, time moves slowly, la la la la la la. And so she's always been into fitness and at the Kabbalah and all the rest of it. But people were obviously, you're just shit.

• 28:06Speaker 01

  It's on the capella.

• 28:08Speaker 02

  It's the capella. It's the capella. And then people were going, oh, she's the fucking, the state of earth, embarrassing, sixty seven in a lace outfit and thigh high boots, everything. And this is the problem with society. Because women are, we are forced out. It's like you hit a certain age and you know, it's like, you're not, in inverted commas, fuckable, as they say, Jo. And it's like, how dare you? You should just disappear and die and go off and like drown yourself in a pond. And it's, men do it, but women do it as well. And I feel like it's the women who are like, hold on a second. If I've prayed by the reels and gone off and disappeared, you should too. Or if I'm too embarrassed to put on a lace corset, you should be too. If I'm playing by the reels, you should be too. It was, it was iconic. I watched it sixteen times.

• 28:53Speaker 02

  I absolutely loved it. And also, I'll say this, Sabrina Carpenter, she can fucking sing. I didn't know that.

• 29:01Speaker 01

  She is, yeah, she's phenomenal.

• 29:04Speaker 02

  I knew she could sing, obviously. I know she, all singers.

• 29:06Speaker 01

  Ah, she's unbelievable.

• 29:08Speaker 02

  I didn't know the pipe she had on her. I'm sorry now, I had no idea and I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm sorry Sabrina. I hadn't really thought about it, to be honest. I hadn't given it much thought, but anyway. So then, what happened then was, they had Madonna's clothes on a golf buggy.

• 29:25Speaker 02

  Driving it back across Coachella. And whoever was driving the buggy, left the buggy. I don't know why, they obviously, I don't know where they went. And someone stole the clothes off the buggy. So they're saying that the people who stole the clothes didn't actually know they were Madonna's clothes. Like she wasn't targeted. They just stole, they were in like, you know, suit bags or whatever. And that there's other stuff that they stole as well. So anyway, now she's offered a reward of which, I can't remember how much. Jo, can you check?

• 29:52Speaker 01

  So like, remember Lady Gaga when her dogs got robbed and she offered this massive reward? I don't know if she ever got the dogs back, did she?

• 29:57Speaker 02

  She did. Did she get the dogs back in the end? She must have got the dogs back.

• 30:01Speaker 01

  I think she got the dogs back. Can I say one thing about Madonna as well? With the lace outfit, lace outfits aside, do you not feel like that? Like, like I'll get the odd comment from somebody being like bikinis at your age. I can't wear a fucking, my mom is still rocking around in bikinis. She's older than Madonna and like, I think that that's what, so what's your business? What anybody else wears and whatever you're saying to me is just a reflection of how you feel about yourself.

• 30:27Speaker 02

  Exactly. The internet is riddled with, well, the world is riddled with internalized misogyny where women will project their own stereotypes and prejudices about women onto women because ultimately they're like, well, hold on, I fucking played ball. So, so for example, a woman's giving out to you for wearing a bikini. She's, she's like, well, I, I used to feel self-conscious in a bikini. So you, I'm trying to make you feel self-conscious in a bikini. Yeah. Do you know? I remember years ago, I was so horrified by, I'd got so much body hair. I was like a little, I was like a little furry bear and there was, and I was so obsessed with getting rid of it. And then a friend of mine, much to my shame, I've never forgotten it.

• 31:08Speaker 02

  She, we were young, like we were only like early teens and she had really light hair on her legs. And I kind of said, oh, look, you've got hair on your legs. Because I was like, hold on, why am I? And she was like, why are you pointing it out? And I was like, I don't know. I guess I'm, I guess I'm projecting because I feel like I'm not allowed, I'm not allowed to have it. So I, I, I guess I'm kind of, I'm jealous or bothered the fact that you will just like have hair and why don't you feel like shit about yourself? Yeah. Why don't you feel like shit about yourself? I'll never forget it. It was a real, it was a real learning, learning point.

• 31:40Speaker 01

  But it is like, you know, when you see, but you know, even sometimes now, like I'm not saying, I'm not saying all the time, but sometimes I'll see things online, like people online and they're doing something or they have something in their house. And I'm like, ugh. And then I'm like, oh, hang on a second. That is literally me just being jealous of that thing that they have because I don't have it. And like, stop being a dickhead. Like just because they have it doesn't mean that like you need it. Yeah.

• 32:01Speaker 02

  I know.

• 32:02Speaker 01

  And you just, I think people forget to check themselves a little bit and then they totally lose the run of themselves.

• 32:06Speaker 02

  We can all, you can feel the feelings, but to act on the feelings and actually contact people and stuff and actually put up shit comments. That's a different, you know, that's a kind of a step. That's an extra additional step. But I was just projecting a little bullshit onto everyone else.

• 32:20Speaker 01

  Yeah, but people then lose the run of themselves. Like, you know, the people who've been caught out in tattling and stuff like that, that's like when people have descended into complete madness. And they have literally, they are getting this like hit off, like slagging someone off and they just can't stop themselves then. And they just have descended into madness.

• 32:37Speaker 02

  It's the dopamine, it's a dopamine hit. Cause there were, there's studies done where they say people are actually, they're more likely to connect over a shared negative opinion rather than a shared positive opinion. So, do you know what I mean? Like, for example, if I met a girl on a night out and we both absolutely hated Joe, we'd, you know, we'd, we'd, we'd bond about that. And, and because, and, and the kind of the dopamine and the, and you feel so alive because you have all these strong feelings about something and it's negative and it kind of, I know, it's, it's firing off like all these, like the, your brain kind of reacts really well to it. It's terrible. It's terrible. It's a terrible part of us. But listen, we're human beings. What I was gonna say was, the Madonna thing,

• 33:18Speaker 02

  she is a revolutionist. She is, the term iconic gets thrown around a lot. I saw it used for like some dogs,

• 33:26Speaker 01

  She is iconic.

• 33:26Speaker 02

  Dogs tie the other day. I was like, come on now, that's not, that's not iconic. You can't put a hat on a hamster and call it iconic.

• 33:32Speaker 01

  What's the tie look like? And was it on the dog?

• 33:34Speaker 02

  It wasn't, it was on the dog. Yeah. It was, it was, it was a string tie. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, it was. It was on the dog. I was like, that's not iconic. Okay. You can't put a beret on a frog and call it iconic. But Madonna is iconic. And I will say, the older I get, I've decided to wear less and less clothes. So by the time I'm doing my last tour in my seventies, I'm gonna have a nipple tassel and a merkin.

• 33:53Speaker 03

  If you do find Madonna's bits and bobs and you decide to give them back to her, she has not specified the reward.

• 34:00Speaker 02

  Oh.

• 34:01Speaker 03

  But you'd, you'd feel pretty hard done by if she gives you sort of fifty quid.

• 34:06Speaker 01

  I think she's gonna give you a slap in the face. Come on, what's she gonna do? Like, you'd be raging with somebody. You'd be like, give me that mac, you jerk.

• 34:12Speaker 02

  I'm more concerned with where, the whereabouts of Malaysian Airlines and Nancy Guthrie. However, I will be keeping an eye on the Madonna story also.

• 34:25Speaker 01

  Let's do a corrections corner while we're talking about internet bullshit. Chapel Rome, remember the story about Chapel Rome where the footballer basically said, Chapel Rome's security, Chapel Rome sent my security, her security up to my daughter, who's 11 years old and they were really horrible to her and this is disgraceful from Chapel Rome, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And he literally had said it point to point in a statement, confirmed that this had most definitely happened. There was no doubting it. He had, he had understood absolutely everything. And so everyone was like, oh my God, Chapel Rome's a dick. And even I was like, oh my God, why would she be so mean to an 11 year old child? Because this guy is like so sure that this had happened and he's in the public eye himself

• 35:08Speaker 01

  and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. So he comes out with a statement after Chapel Rome has been dragged through the mud, after all those memes basically calling her Miss Trunchbull and everything. And he has-

• 35:19Speaker 02

  Miss Trunchbull.

• 35:20Speaker 01

  There was loads of horrible memes about it, saying that she like pretty much ate children. Do you know what I mean? It was just so bad. But then he comes out and he's like, she'd no knowledge of what took place at breakfast and had not asked anyone to approach my stepdaughter. She was understanding and sympathetic to what had happened to our child. No apology. And then finished it by saying, as far as I'm concerned, this matter is closed. So you literally created the biggest shitstorm about Chapel Rome, made the internet pile on her. And then you've realised, oh fuck, I actually jumped the gun too quickly. He needs to go and talk to Colleen Rooney because she at least really hung around

• 36:05Speaker 01

  and made sure that everything that she was doing was right. And he literally just-

• 36:10Speaker 02

  You're right.

• 36:10Speaker 01

  Went straight in, hopped on it. He wasn't even there. But shitty statement. He didn't even apologise to her.

• 36:18Speaker 02

  The pile on that he caused.

• 36:20Speaker 01

  As far as I'm concerned, this matter is closed. I'm sure fucking is to you because you didn't get the level of abuse thrown at you that Chapel Rome did.

• 36:28Speaker 02

  That's, that's a very, that's a very, actually, that's actually a very Vogue wrap up of an apology. Like, I've caused fucking chaos here. Okay, okay. I stand corrected on a couple of points. Everyone's crying. The world is burning. I consider this matter closed.

• 36:41Speaker 01

  Yeah, this is done.

• 36:43Speaker 02

  I've closed the matter.

• 36:44Speaker 01

  I've stolen Madonna's clothes, but I've given them back. As far as I'm concerned, the matter is now closed.

• 36:48Speaker 02

  This matter is closed. This matter is closed. But Vogue, no, no, no, this matter is closed. I've said my piece. Matter closed.

• 36:56Speaker 01

  Okay, fine. I set off a nuclear, I've set off a nuclear bomb, but I didn't mean to do it. And now the matter is closed.

• 37:03Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 37:03Speaker 01

  Yes, I've ruined half the world, but the matter is closed.

• 37:06Speaker 02

  Yeah, I've nuked hots, but as far as I'm concerned, this matter is closed.

• 37:14Speaker 01

  Oh, even I, even I'm not that grim. Come on, even I'm not that bad. I actually.

• 37:20Speaker 02

  The matter is closed.

• 37:20Speaker 01

  I just thought, but he was so, so sure that he, like, exactly adamant that this had happened to his child. Blah, blah. And it's like, oh my God. And like, I was like, God, she is a bit of a dick. And then I saw that and I'm like, hang on a second, he's a dick.

• 37:36Speaker 02

  I call it the empathy Olympics. People love to think the worst of other people. They love to think. Because I think ultimately we're all scared that we're, we're actually assholes ourselves. So when someone acts in a way that you can judge and criticize like that, it makes you feel better about yourself. You know, and then, and so that's why people are so quick to judge, especially celebrities. I'm sure Chapel is a lovely woman. She's just living her life doing her bits and her bobs. I've had women message, I had a woman message me once and she was like, I heard, I've heard you're awful in real life. Is it true? I was like, what?

• 38:10Speaker 02

  And I was like, I'm not in get, like, you know, everything you want, you want to write back. I was like.

• 38:14Speaker 01

  Okay, Joan, I've been spreading rumours about you behind your back. I'm sorry, but the matter is closed.

• 38:20Speaker 02

  I was in, the matter is.

• 38:23Speaker 02

  This matter is closed. I stabbed you. Okay, fine. I did it. But the matter is closed. You've been stitched up. What are you complaining about? The matter is closed.

• 38:35Speaker 02

  I don't, there was a woman, um, I'm like, it's another way, because there's like, like, there's that kind of, you know, that strange parasocial relationship we're all in with people, each other, whatever. And I was in Auckland the other day and I walked past a woman and she went, there's Graeme McNaughton. Now, usually when that happens, we would stop, I would turn around and be like, oh, hey, because I'm actually not an asshole.

• 38:56Speaker 01

  Say hello, yeah.

• 38:57Speaker 02

  And I would say, hey, and I turned around, I stopped and she just kept going.

• 39:01Speaker 01

  But you didn't hear from me, right? The matter's closed.

• 39:04Speaker 02

  It was so funny. She just kept going. And here was me be like, hiya. Oh, oh god, no.

• 39:10Speaker 01

  Turning around.

• 39:11Speaker 02

  I was mortified. She's just like, there's a car, there's a truck, there's Joanne McNally. See what you see, onto the next thing. Couldn't give a shit. She was like, I don't want to, I don't want to talk to you. I'm just saying what I see. I'm busy. Got my life to live.

• 39:24Speaker 01

  Once, once something, oh yeah, but, but once something's thrown at you, that's it. Like, I will never stop hearing comments about me on aeroplanes. And I'm like, Oh. I'm literally, I am literally the nicest person. And I'm like, you know what? I might as, who gives a shit? I might as well start hijacking planes at this point because

• 39:43Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 39:44Speaker 01

  Everyone already thinks I'm a dickhead. But it's all, it's like, and I'm like,

• 39:48Speaker 02

  They're like, did you hear Vogue Williams?

• 39:50Speaker 01

  That's all you have to go on.

• 39:51Speaker 02

  She hijacked a plane and flew it into the co-op. Did you hear? There was, well, there was someone, there's someone else, there's someone else getting heated.

• 39:58Speaker 01

  I hope she booked seats for her kids.

• 40:03Speaker 02

  There's someone else. Chappell Rowne stylist.

• 40:05Speaker 01

  I hope she hasn't made some poor individual move seats for her.

• 40:07Speaker 02

  Oh no, it's not actually Chappell Rowne. It's Zendaya. Zendaya. His surname, I actually don't know, but she's like Madonna to me. She just goes by Zendaya. Her stylist, I think, I believe, they did a tweet about the fact that they'd paid for a first class ticket and the seat didn't recline with Delta. And they like, did a, like a public tweet about it. And of course, you just, you know, like, you just, you just don't. Like, send an email.

• 40:32Speaker 01

  No, no.

• 40:33Speaker 02

  Send an email.

• 40:34Speaker 01

  I know you currently can't afford your electricity bills, but my seat would not recline in first class.

• 40:39Speaker 02

  So Vogue, as you know, when you're on the road and you're going in and out of cities and towns, people will very soundly and kindly sometimes offer you, whether, I don't know, like for me, it's usually facials and wine. That's usually what, and I, and I go, and I, I accept all of it. I love a complimentary facial. And it's, they're all Irish women running the clinics around Australia. So I'm in and out like a fiddler's elbow. But there's, I got this message from this, this company called The Travelling Tavern. Like, hey, Joanne, we know you're coming to Sydney. It looks like you've been working really hard. You might need a bit of a break. I'm the founder of The Travelling Tavern, a pedal powered pub that rolls around Sydney, 15 seats, 15 seats. I was like, so, I was like, Shauna, her name's Shauna. I was like, so.

• 41:24Speaker 02

  So you're like, God, this woman looks exhausted. Tell you what she needs now. A day pedaling a pub around Sydney on her own. I don't have 15 mates on it.

• 41:34Speaker 01

  Joan, you.

• 41:38Speaker 02

  She goes, a perfect way to warm up for your shows.

• 41:44Speaker 01

  Joan, firstly, you love the Peloton.

• 41:48Speaker 02

  I do.

• 41:49Speaker 01

  You love the Peloton, you love having a little drink and you love people watching. Three of your favourite things all in one.

• 41:56Speaker 02

  Yeah, she knows she has a point. Thank you, Shauna, for the kind offer, but I just feel like on my downtime, I might do like kind of a soundbowl class and not pedal a pub around Sydney. It really made me laugh. She's like, you look really tired. We can help.

• 42:11Speaker 01

  There is nothing worse. You look wrecked.

• 42:15Speaker 02

  Yeah, well, she didn't say that. No, in fairness, she was like, you look like you're working hard. But I just, I was like, there's something that makes me laugh, the idea of me cycling myself, just me, just me pedaling, a solo pedaling a pub around Sydney by myself, just drinking and crying before the show to get myself in the mood.

• 42:31Speaker 01

  I wouldn't even look twice if I saw you doing that. I wouldn't look twice. I'd be like, oh, there goes Joan. I wouldn't be that surprised. I just wouldn't.

• 42:37Speaker 02

  Cardio and drinking. You have to do one to offset the other. It's not a bad idea, Shauna. So thank you. That's it for this week. Thanks as always for listening and for your support. We'd love it if you would like and subscribe. And also just as a reminder, we are on YouTube. If you'd like to have a little look at Vogue's house and my fake freckles.