MFM Minisode 504

This week’s hometowns celebrate teachers for back to school! Stories include a hero teacher and a nun slapping story. For our sources, please visit https://www.myfavoritemurder.com/episodes. Support this podcast by shopping our latest sponsor deals and promotions at this link: https://bit.ly/3UFCn1g. Head to social media to share your favorite moments from this episode. Instagram: instagram.com/myfavoritemurder http://instagram.com/myfavoritemurder Facebook: facebook.com/myfavoritemurder http://facebook.com/myfavoritemurder TikTok: tiktok.com/@my_favorite_murder http://tiktok.com/@my_favorite_murder Send your hometown stories to [email protected] mailto:[email protected]. Join the Fan Cult to access ad-free episodes of My Favorite Murder. Members also receive merch store discounts, exclusive audio and video content and more! Visit www.fancult.supercast.com http://www.fancult.supercast.com/ to join. Shop for My Favorite Murder and other Exactly Right merchandise here: www.exactlyrightstore.com https://www.exactlyrightstore.com. Rate, review and follow My Favorite Murder on the iHeartRadio, Apple Podcasts, Spotify or wherever you like to listen. See omnystudio.com/listener https://omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:01Speaker 00

  This is exactly right.

• 0:07Speaker 00

  911, what's your emergency?

• 0:10Speaker 01

  Please help us, they're everywhere. We think they're murder hornets. 911 Nashville returns.

• 0:17Speaker 02

  It's a homicide detective down here.

• 0:19Speaker 03

  Three bodies on the ground.

• 0:20Speaker 01

  With emergencies of biblical proportions.

• 0:23Speaker 03

  Hell, since swarms upon you and upon your people.

• 0:26Speaker 02

  That's one of the plagues of the Bible.

• 0:27Speaker 03

  And somebody's unleashing them on Nashville.

• 0:30Speaker 01

  Brian Phillippe, 911 Nashville. All new Thursdays on ABC, next day on Hulu.

• 0:37Speaker 00

  Whether you're buying, renting, or selling, Zillow can help make your someday today. To help find a home that fits where you are in life. Or that apartment that's a little closer to where you want to be. Zillow has the right information, tools, and support to help turn your future home into a reality. Because someday starts today. Visit zillow.com/today to get started.

• 1:02Speaker 04

  Cash flow crunch? OnDeck's small business line of credit gives your business immediate access to funds, up to $200,000, right when you need it. Cover seasonal dips, manage payroll, restock inventory, or tackle unexpected expenses without missing a beat. With flexible draws, transparent pricing, and control over repayment, get funded quickly and confidently. Apply today at ondeck.com. Funds could be available as soon as tomorrow. Depending on certain loan attributes, your business loan may be issued by OnDeck or Celtic Bank. OnDeck does not lend in North Dakota. All loans and amounts subject to lender approval.

• 1:48Karen Kilgariff?

  Hello and welcome.

• 1:50Georgia Hardstark?

  To My Favorite Murder.

• 1:52Karen Kilgariff?

  The mini, the back-to-school minisode.

• 1:55Georgia Hardstark?

  The back-to-school, very special episode of the minisode. We're going to do just teacher-adjacent stories, right?

• 2:02Karen Kilgariff?

  School stories, teacher stories, yes.

• 2:05Georgia Hardstark?

  But because we're doing this, we're also going to have a little fun with it.

• 2:09Karen Kilgariff?

  Last year, we reposted a bunch of teachers' wish lists so that other people could help and clear them. And everybody responded. Of course, it's the murderino community, so they showed up and they showed out, and they cleared a ton of wish lists.

• 2:22Georgia Hardstark?

  So this year, we are going to join in and like double down on that. We're going to clear as many wish lists as possible by donating $10,000 to Kids in Need Foundation in the name of all our teacher-murderinos, teacherinos.

• 2:37Karen Kilgariff?

  And Kids in Need Foundation is really great because it actually focuses on under-resourced classrooms. So that feels even better.

• 2:44Georgia Hardstark?

  Totally. So if you'd like to help and give a little as well and clear teachers' wish lists, we're going to be reposting them on Instagram, Teachers Wish Lists.

• 2:53Karen Kilgariff?

  Right. And so you can jump in. Our donation is like covering it so that we're not picking a favorite school.

• 2:58Georgia Hardstark?

  Right.

• 2:59Karen Kilgariff?

  And so you can join in. If you're a teacher, you can retweet your wish list.

• 3:02Georgia Hardstark?

  Yeah.

• 3:03Karen Kilgariff?

  And then murderinos who did it last year have an opportunity to help out.

• 3:06Georgia Hardstark?

  Totally. So teachers, post your Instagram story with a link to your wish list. And then tag us at MyFavoriteMurder. And let's have some, let's have some fun with this. And we can help you out. We can help out and do something good.

• 3:20Karen Kilgariff?

  That's right.

• 3:20Georgia Hardstark?

  In this fucked up world.

• 3:21Karen Kilgariff?

  Think of the children.

• 3:22Georgia Hardstark?

  Think of the children.

• 3:23Karen Kilgariff?

  All right.

• 3:24Georgia Hardstark?

  Okay, let's get to...

• 3:25Karen Kilgariff?

  Okay. The subject line of this one is "Most Unqualified Substitute Teacher Ever."

• 3:30Georgia Hardstark?

  Yes.

• 3:30Karen Kilgariff?

  "Hello, you wonderful ladies. Sometime back, you asked for hometowns about inappropriate jobs for children. Mine dates back to the early 70s, a feral time of massive discrimination, unchecked pollution, and corporate disregard of safety, and absolutely amazing music."

• 3:47Georgia Hardstark?

  That's basically it in a nutshell.

• 3:49Karen Kilgariff?

  There's real bad lows, and then there's a couple highs.

• 3:51Georgia Hardstark?

  Yeah.

• 3:52Karen Kilgariff?

  "I grew up in a very small west Texas town of 5,000 people," and then in parentheses, "do not recommend," which at the time had two elementary schools. My father was the principal of one, and the other principal was a man I'll call Mr. Taylor, because that was his name, and I'm dumb protecting incompetent men.

• 4:09Georgia Hardstark?

  Yay!

• 4:11Karen Kilgariff?

  All of a sudden, the emails blowing up.

• 4:13Georgia Hardstark?

  Love it.

• 4:14Karen Kilgariff?

  "One morning, Mr. Taylor, claiming he could not find a substitute teacher, called my high school office and asked them to send me over to his elementary school for the day to fill in. Without asking any questions, the high school principal pulled me out of class and told me to go to the elementary school." Important point here. I was 16 years old.

• 4:33Georgia Hardstark?

  Wow.

• 4:33Karen Kilgariff?

  Also important point. I did not ask any questions because I had it drilled into me from birth that I was to do whatever an adult told me to do.

• 4:41Georgia Hardstark?

  Totally, totally.

• 4:42Karen Kilgariff?

  Very dark times.

• 4:43Georgia Hardstark?

  Nonsense.

• 4:44Karen Kilgariff?

  "The internet children don't understand."

• 4:46Georgia Hardstark?

  No.

• 4:47Karen Kilgariff?

  "Dutifully, I showed up at Mr. Taylor's office, and he took me to a third-grade classroom."

• 4:52Georgia Hardstark?

  This is so... How old's our third graders, like nine?

• 4:54Karen Kilgariff?

  Uh, yeah, the oldest, I think.

• 4:57Georgia Hardstark?

  Oh my god.

• 4:57Karen Kilgariff?

  They're still pretty young.

• 4:59Georgia Hardstark?

  That's babies.

• 5:01Karen Kilgariff?

  "Told me the real teachers in other rooms would check on me throughout the day and left. The real teachers did not. In fact, check on me not even once. I never saw another adult all day except for lunch when one of them casually asked, 'How's it going?'"

• 5:14Georgia Hardstark?

  Jesus.

• 5:15Karen Kilgariff?

  "And walked away without waiting for me to answer." "Those third graders were treated to a day of coloring, a few math problems, and me reading aloud to them from whatever books I could find in the room. Luckily, I didn't lose any children, and there was no bloodshed, so I considered the day a success. When I got home that afternoon, I discovered neither of my parents had known where I was or what I was doing and responded to my telling them that their 16-year-old daughter had spent the day as a substitute teacher of small children with..."

• 5:44Georgia Hardstark?

  That's nice.

• 5:44Karen Kilgariff?

  Wow. So maybe there's an aroma of trash parents in this story also. There was never any mention of paying me for a day's work. I suspect Mr. Taylor could see that submitting a pay voucher for a minor who wasn't on the approved substitute teacher list and didn't have a social security number might raise some questions.

• 6:03Georgia Hardstark?

  Wow.

• 6:03Karen Kilgariff?

  Apparently, none of the third grader's parents raised any objections to whatever their children told them about their teenage substitute.

• 6:09Georgia Hardstark?

  Jesus.

• 6:10Karen Kilgariff?

  But here's the thing. When you're in third grade or like eight years old...

• 6:13Georgia Hardstark?

  That's an adult.

• 6:14Karen Kilgariff?

  It's, it's completely an adult.

• 6:15Georgia Hardstark?

  Totally.

• 6:16Karen Kilgariff?

  You'd be like, you run the bank.

• 6:17Georgia Hardstark?

  Yeah.

• 6:17Karen Kilgariff?

  "Oh, but you're here today." Because, dear listeners, this happened at least twice more during my high school years.

• 6:23Georgia Hardstark?

  It's like, he thinks he's hiring a babysitter.

• 6:26Karen Kilgariff?

  Yes.

• 6:27Georgia Hardstark?

  Not a teacher.

• 6:28Karen Kilgariff?

  And that's the problem. And that's the problem right there. "Thank you for all you do in the world and the joy you bring to this cat-loving old broad. Stay sexy and maybe make a couple more phone calls before hiring a 16-year-old as a substitute teacher, Jana."

• 6:42Georgia Hardstark?

  Because even a babysitter would get paid for like 30 kids or whatever? That's a lot of fucking money you'd get paid for babysitting.

• 6:48Karen Kilgariff?

  You would get, if you got $20 to babysit a kid for the night...

• 6:52Georgia Hardstark?

  Do the math.

• 6:53Karen Kilgariff?

  ...time that up and pay Jana retroactively.

• 6:57Georgia Hardstark?

  You can't do everything for you.

• 6:58Karen Kilgariff?

  State of Texas?

• 7:02Georgia Hardstark?

  Okay. I'm gonna, this is a Montessori pen pal story.

• 7:06Karen Kilgariff?

  Oh.

• 7:06Georgia Hardstark?

  "Best wishes, warm regards." It starts.

• 7:10Karen Kilgariff?

  Nice.

• 7:10Georgia Hardstark?

  "My home of Danville, Iowa..." I don't, why did I point to you? There's a Danville on the north...

• 7:15Karen Kilgariff?

  There's Danville in the East Bay, yeah.

• 7:16Georgia Hardstark?

  Okay, that's not this one. "Danville, Iowa, is surrounded by cornfields, has students who regularly drive tractors to school during homecoming, and has about 900 citizens."

• 7:26Karen Kilgariff?

  Did that stop you cold because you're from Orange County?

• 7:28Georgia Hardstark?

  I don't get it.

• 7:29Karen Kilgariff?

  Yeah, you get on your dad's tractor and you drive to homecoming. And you're in your dress and he's in his tuxedo.

• 7:33Georgia Hardstark?

  Oh, it's like your special...

• 7:34Karen Kilgariff?

  It's like a little parade.

• 7:35Georgia Hardstark?

  Okay, got it. Got it.

• 7:39Georgia Hardstark?

  "I always win the 'my town is smaller than your town' game, but we do have an incredible story. Back in 1940, there was a teacher named Birdie Matthews, who was known for being pretty strict, but she genuinely cared about her students and wanted to ensure they had the best education a small farming community could provide. She would even loan country kids her car so they could get to school on time."

• 8:00Karen Kilgariff?

  Loan them your tractor.

• 8:01Georgia Hardstark?

  Yeah, and jump on it. It's just that they go three miles an hour. "Being ahead of her time, she traveled to Europe and attended a convention about new methods of learning. While there, she connected with a Dutch Montessori teacher, and the two developed a pen pal program, which was a very new idea back then. She came back to Danville with a list of Montessori students for her own students to pick from and write letters back and forth. Two sisters, Juanita and Betty Wagner, wanted to write another set of sisters and found a pair listed, Anne and Margot. The Wagner girls excitedly spoke of living on a farm and what life was like in a small community compared to the other sisters' city experience." Hashtag? Quote?

• 8:43Georgia Hardstark?

  Holy shit, I gotta stop scrolling.

• 8:45Karen Kilgariff?

  Come with me.

• 8:46Georgia Hardstark?

  Come with me. It, uh, quote, I almost did it again. "It was just friendly talk. To write to somebody overseas was a great experience," end quote, Betty later said. "Anne and Margot wrote back in English, translated by their father Otto, with photos and postcards of Amsterdam." Do you know where I'm going? "Juanita and Betty wrote back immediately, but never heard from the girls again. The Netherlands had been invaded by the Germans two weeks later, and any letters going out to America would have been impossible."

• 9:16Karen Kilgariff?

  That is not where I thought you were going. I forgot that it was the 40s.

• 9:20Georgia Hardstark?

  I didn't want to say it, I didn't want to spoil it, but the sisters Juanita and Betty Wagner in Iowa wrote to Anne and Margot Frank. And their father, their father Otto, translated.

• 9:31Karen Kilgariff?

  Oh, my god.

• 9:32Georgia Hardstark?

  I know. "When the war ended, Betty decided to write to the Franks' old address in hopes that Anne and Margot were still there." She was answered months later by Otto Frank, the only survivor, who then told Betty and Juanita the entire story of his family's experience

• 9:48Karen Kilgariff?

  Jesus.

• 9:49Georgia Hardstark?

  in hiding, being caught, and the deaths of his daughters. "In 1956, Betty heard of a new play called The Diary of Anne Frank being opened, and hoping it was her old pen pal, bought the book. The girls were shocked that their old friends were now faces of the Holocaust. Thankfully, Juanita and Betty had kept their letters from Anne and Margot." "Anne and Margot's letters are currently in the Simon Wiesenthal Center, kept safely in a vault."

• 10:16Karen Kilgariff?

  Oh, my god.

• 10:17Georgia Hardstark?

  You're just doing a little pen pal program that this incredible teacher, like-

• 10:20Karen Kilgariff?

  Why have we never heard of this before?

• 10:22Georgia Hardstark?

  I don't know.

• 10:23Karen Kilgariff?

  It's incredible. Just like, yeah, normal life.

• 10:26Georgia Hardstark?

  Yeah. "The tiny Danville Anne Frank Museum is the only place granted permission to showcase digital copies." So because of this, Danville opened an Anne Frank museum.

• 10:38Karen Kilgariff?

  Because of these sisters.

• 10:39Georgia Hardstark?

  Yeah. "Since 2012, Danville 8th graders collect postcards, like the ones Anne and Margot sent to their pen pals, hoping to get 1.5 million to represent the 1.5 million children killed in the Holocaust." "Juanita died in 2001, and Betty died in 2012. I try to pass along the story as much as I can. It is an ultimately devastating story, but it is amazing how two farm girls, in the middle of nowhere, were able to pass along a bit of history about two girls they didn't consider major figures. They didn't know the mark Anne's diary would make on the world. They were just children, excited to make new friends. If only everyone can have that outlook. Stay safe and pass along amazing stories, Morgan she/her."

• 11:23Karen Kilgariff?

  I'm just blown away.

• 11:24Georgia Hardstark?

  I know.

• 11:26Karen Kilgariff?

  Why doesn't everyone know that story?

• 11:28Georgia Hardstark?

  I don't know. I know. I want to read those letters.

• 11:31Karen Kilgariff?

  I know.

• 11:32Georgia Hardstark?

  But they're just like, they're-

• 11:33Karen Kilgariff?

  Yeah, I went out and played-

• 11:35Georgia Hardstark?

  This is what my life is like.

• 11:36Karen Kilgariff?

  Normal life.

• 11:37Georgia Hardstark?

  Until.

• 11:38Karen Kilgariff?

  Amazing. Wow. Well, thank you so much for writing that in.

• 11:42Georgia Hardstark?

  Yeah, Morgan.

• 11:43Karen Kilgariff?

  That's incredible.

• 11:47Karen Kilgariff?

  911, what's your emergency?

• 11:50Speaker 01

  Please help us, they're everywhere. We think they're murder hornets. 911 Nashville returns.

• 11:57Speaker 02

  What's a homicide detective doing here?

• 11:59Speaker 03

  Three bodies on the ground.

• 12:00Speaker 01

  With emergencies of biblical proportions.

• 12:03Speaker 03

  Oh, since swarms upon you and upon your people.

• 12:06Speaker 02

  That's one of the plagues of the Bible.

• 12:07Speaker 03

  And somebody's unleashing them on Nashville.

• 12:10Speaker 01

  Brian Phillippe joins 911 Nashville. All new Thursdays on ABC, next day on Hulu.

• 12:17Speaker 00

  Whether you're buying, renting, or selling, Zillow can help make your someday today to help find a home that fits where you are in life, or that apartment that's a little closer to where you want to be. Zillow has the right information, tools, and support to help turn your future home into a reality. Because someday starts today. Visit zillow.com/today to get started.

• 12:43Karen Kilgariff?

  Okay, so the subject line of this email is teacher typo. "Hello, Al. I am a high school English teacher, and I have taught middle school in the past." That's like saying I've been to war. "This story is from my middle school days. At the time, we were not as into the digital age with all of the online classrooms like we are today in the post-COVID world, but I was posting weekly lesson plans onto my section of the school website so parents could see what we were-" Oh, I just remembered what this is. "So parents could see what we were doing in class for the week."

• 13:15Georgia Hardstark?

  Oh, god.

• 13:16Karen Kilgariff?

  "One unit in particular was about Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.'s speech, 'Sharing the American Dream,' which is a great speech and made for an equally great lesson. Of course, I posted the name of that lesson on the website with my weekly plans. Fast forward a bit, and we got a new teacher who was going to teach the same classes as me, so I shared my lesson plan calendars with her. A day or so later, I got a text from her with a picture of my lesson plan for that unit with a message that said something along the lines of, 'I am laughing so hard, I'm crying.'" "It took me a minute to see it, but when I did, I almost died. Apparently, when I first typed that lesson plan, I had not proofread what I had written, and I inadvertently added a T to the title of the speech.

• 14:00Karen Kilgariff?

  That's right, it said 'sharding the American dream.'"

• 14:03Georgia Hardstark?

  Oh, no. Oh, no.

• 14:08Karen Kilgariff?

  Right there.

• 14:09Georgia Hardstark?

  Like, that's not a word that has to be caught by the computer.

• 14:13Karen Kilgariff?

  Can we get one copy editor somewhere?

• 14:16Georgia Hardstark?

  Like, if I can't write ducking?

• 14:18Karen Kilgariff?

  You're telling me there's no, yeah, there's no red line under, yeah. And it went up and no one said a word.

• 14:26Georgia Hardstark?

  Holy shart.

• 14:27Karen Kilgariff?

  Do you fear more a horrifying, humiliating mistake like this that you, no one ever says a word about? Or immediately you get the texts and the phone calls of, "Take that down."

• 14:36Georgia Hardstark?

  Oh.

• 14:38Karen Kilgariff?

  Which one's better or which one's worse? Because I feel like the slow burn is almost like more horrifying.

• 14:44Georgia Hardstark?

  Yeah.

• 14:45Karen Kilgariff?

  Like, people are like, "Oh, no, look away."

• 14:47Georgia Hardstark?

  Both sound just so bad. Both are making me, like, break out and sweat.

• 14:50Karen Kilgariff?

  Do we have to pick one, I guess, is the real question?

• 14:53Georgia Hardstark?

  Neither? Okay.

• 14:54Karen Kilgariff?

  Sit in it, sit in the shame. "This had been up on the school website for parents to see for at least a whole year."

• 15:01Georgia Hardstark?

  Not one parent. Like, that's a year.

• 15:04Karen Kilgariff?

  Okay. "Anyway, I am not sure any parents ever read the plans, or they just didn't see it, because I never received any type of email about it. I was tempted to leave it, because I work with kids all day, and that has become my sense of humor, but in the name of professionalism, I did change it, and I sincerely apologize to Dr. King for disgracing his speech in that way. Thank you for being my car companions during my 45-minute commute to work each day. These past few years have been pretty rough in the world of education and in the world in general, and your podcast has been an excellent way to decompress after the hard days. Thanks for reading, and shout out to Laura for fighting the good fight.

• 15:46Karen Kilgariff?

  Stay sexy and always check your work, even if you're an English teacher."

• 15:52Georgia Hardstark?

  That's the worst part! Oh, my god.

• 15:54Karen Kilgariff?

  It's so bad.

• 15:56Georgia Hardstark?

  Mortifying.

• 15:56Karen Kilgariff?

  It's so bad. But it is true, people don't read stuff like that.

• 16:00Georgia Hardstark?

  Now, I wonder if anyone had even ever seen it. Except for the other, like, the new English teacher, of course, caught it.

• 16:05Karen Kilgariff?

  And if they did get it, it was a full year of risk, and here comes the second English teacher to save the first one's ass?

• 16:11Georgia Hardstark?

  Holy shit.

• 16:12Karen Kilgariff?

  America.

• 16:14Georgia Hardstark?

  Okay. My next one, I'm not going to read you the subject line. "Hello, dear friends. I am woefully behind and listening to mini-soad 392, where Kelsey wrote in about her dad getting all kinds of good shit, including a bike, from Pepsi points he fraudulently sent in."

• 16:29Karen Kilgariff?

  Love that story.

• 16:30Georgia Hardstark?

  "This reminded me of a Polaroid I have of myself on the first day of kindergarten, which then says as kindergarten."

• 16:36Karen Kilgariff?

  Kindergarten.

• 16:37Georgia Hardstark?

  I wonder if that's a Midwest thing of those.

• 16:39Karen Kilgariff?

  It might be.

• 16:39Georgia Hardstark?

  I love it. Kindergarten, wearing a questionable outfit. "I know my mom, Maxine, would be pissed if she knew I was about to share her parents' names with a lot of strangers, but too bad. Her parents, Stan and Rose, owned a grocery store and would get all kinds of merch from alcohol, food, soda. Shout out to the R2-D2 Pepsi cooler we had when Star Wars Episode 1 came out."

• 17:02Karen Kilgariff?

  I remember those, and the, on the top, it slid up like that.

• 17:04Georgia Hardstark?

  Shut up. Like, like an R2-D2 thing?

• 17:07Karen Kilgariff?

  I'm pretty sure, yeah.

• 17:09Georgia Hardstark?

  How much are those worth? "And especially cigarette brands. So, yeah, there's a picture of me from the first day of school, wearing a giant Newport cigarettes t-shirt. That is beautiful."

• 17:21Karen Kilgariff?

  I want one right now.

• 17:22Georgia Hardstark?

  Trash parenting win. I still have some of the bags, sunglasses, mugs, and a cool brand, with a K, of course, shirt, but not that one. Sad. "Stay sexy and probably don't let your five-year-old promote tobacco products at school." Pam, and then Pam attached a photo. Oh, damn. Newport, what was the saying for Newport? Something, the something.

• 17:45Karen Kilgariff?

  I don't remember.

• 17:46Georgia Hardstark?

  Feel the breeze or some shit.

• 17:47Karen Kilgariff?

  Feel the breeze.

• 17:48Georgia Hardstark?

  That is amazing.

• 17:49Karen Kilgariff?

  With Newport.

• 17:50Georgia Hardstark?

  Pam. A+.

• 17:52Karen Kilgariff?

  It's so epic. I love that so much.

• 17:55Georgia Hardstark?

  Oh, god, it's so good.

• 17:56Karen Kilgariff?

  Like, people are just like, uh, pretend it's the town. Pretend it's the town.

• 18:00Georgia Hardstark?

  Right.

• 18:01Karen Kilgariff?

  Oh, it's so good.

• 18:02Georgia Hardstark?

  Amazing.

• 18:03Karen Kilgariff?

  Georgia, it looks like the saying is "alive with pleasure."

• 18:06Georgia Hardstark?

  Alive with pleasure. Something with something.

• 18:09Karen Kilgariff?

  Yeah, you knew it. Alive with pleasure.

• 18:11Georgia Hardstark?

  That's the best, because you're going to die in pain if you smoke the "alive with pleasure" word.

• 18:17Karen Kilgariff?

  Big time advertising.

• 18:19Georgia Hardstark?

  Totally.

• 18:20Karen Kilgariff?

  Where it's just like, you're not dying at all.

• 18:21Georgia Hardstark?

  Like, someone in a boardroom on so much coke thought of that saying.

• 18:25Karen Kilgariff?

  You know what?

• 18:25Georgia Hardstark?

  Alive.

• 18:26Karen Kilgariff?

  This is killing them. Let's say "alive with pleasure."

• 18:28Georgia Hardstark?

  It's, that's the opposite.

• 18:30Karen Kilgariff?

  Like, it's, it's worth it now. You're living now, so it's worth it, because you get pleasure.

• 18:34Georgia Hardstark?

  Right.

• 18:34Karen Kilgariff?

  So, like, you're living it out.

• 18:36Georgia Hardstark?

  Because you're going to be fucking dead from it.

• 18:38Karen Kilgariff?

  Because you're smoking menthol cigarettes.

• 18:40Georgia Hardstark?

  Like fiberglass menthol.

• 18:43Karen Kilgariff?

  The cool, the cool logo, though, was my, one of my favorite fonts of all time.

• 18:48Georgia Hardstark?

  So good.

• 18:48Karen Kilgariff?

  Because there's a K in it.

• 18:49Georgia Hardstark?

  Oh, sure.

• 18:51Karen Kilgariff?

  I mean, it's really all about narcissism at the end of the day.

• 18:54Georgia Hardstark?

  Absolutely. I use the Georgia font in every fucking thing I do. I'm, I'm here with you.

• 19:03Speaker 01

  We need help, they're everywhere. We think they're murder warnings. 911 Nashville returns.

• 19:10Speaker 02

  What's a homicide detective doing here?

• 19:12Speaker 03

  Three bodies on the ground.

• 19:13Speaker 01

  With emergencies of biblical proportions.

• 19:16Speaker 03

  Hell, since swarms upon you and upon your people.

• 19:19Speaker 02

  That's one of the plagues of the Bible.

• 19:20Speaker 03

  And somebody's unleashing them on Nashville.

• 19:23Speaker 01

  Brian Phillippe joins 911 Nashville. All new Thursdays on ABC, next day on Hulu.

• 19:30Speaker 00

  Whether you're buying, renting, or selling, Zillow can help make your someday today. To help find a home that fits where you are in life, or that apartment that's a little closer to where you want to be. Zillow has the right information, tools, and support to help turn your future home into a reality. Because someday starts today. Visit zillow.com/today to get started.

• 19:56Karen Kilgariff?

  So my last email is, the subject line says, "It's a Catholic school nun story." And then I'm not going to read you the rest. That was just the first half. It says, it just gets into it. "When my family moved to northern New Jersey in 1980, I started attending Queen of Peace Catholic School."

• 20:14Georgia Hardstark?

  Oh dear.

• 20:14Karen Kilgariff?

  I mean, you just have to get into it.

• 20:16Georgia Hardstark?

  Yeah.

• 20:17Karen Kilgariff?

  "Sixth grade started out great, largely because our teacher was a 157-year-old nun who only taught us two subjects, spelling and saying the rosary."

• 20:25Georgia Hardstark?

  Oh my god.

• 20:26Karen Kilgariff?

  This is what Catholic school was like. It was really up to whoever the tallest person in the room was, what was going on. Felt very unregulated. "I don't think she ever taught math, history, geography, or anything else for that matter. I did not complain. I started to imagine that perhaps I too would become a nun. No math, just a bunch of praying, not a bad life." This is my favorite email. "One day I was working in my spelling book when Tommy Decker hit me over the head with his spelling book. I had not been taught how to tell someone to go to hell, so instead I did the only thing a sixth-grade Catholic schoolgirl could do." I tattled. "Sister Anne, Tommy Decker hit me on the head with his spelling book. Sister Anne did not tolerate defiling spelling.

• 21:11Karen Kilgariff?

  Tell him to stop it and let me know if he does it again." I trotted back to my seat. I started working on my spelling again, and he did it again. "Sister Anne, Tommy Decker hit me on the head again." Sister Anne marched her plump, habited form over to Tommy Decker, grabbed him by the hair, and dragged him to the front of the class.

• 21:28Georgia Hardstark?

  Mm-hmm.

• 21:29Karen Kilgariff?

  "Then she called me to the front of the class, as well. This made me nervous, because clearly Sister Anne was deviating from the script. Tommy Decker should have been sent to our principal, Sister Michael." The principal's name is Sister Michael, like in Dairy Girls.

• 21:43Georgia Hardstark?

  Oh my god.

• 21:44Karen Kilgariff?

  "Where he would have been yelled at and given detention. Sister Anne let go of Tommy Decker's hair and turned to me. Hit him back, she demanded."

• 21:53Georgia Hardstark?

  Fuck yes. I knew it. I love it. Hit him back in front of the class.

• 21:58Karen Kilgariff?

  "Should I defy the Bride of Christ and go to hell, or slap Tommy Decker, who had done nothing but bother me for weeks? Clearly, I had to follow the path upon which I had been sent."

• 22:08Georgia Hardstark?

  Oh god, I want to do it myself. Why do I want to hit a kid so bad?

• 22:11Karen Kilgariff?

  Well, you know Tommy Decker. "I had pulled my arm back, extended my hand, and slapped his face with all my might."

• 22:18Georgia Hardstark?

  Holy shit.

• 22:19Karen Kilgariff?

  "I don't remember a single detail more about this incident until the phone call from Sister Michael that night."

• 22:25Georgia Hardstark?

  And it starts?

• 22:27Karen Kilgariff?

  "You are not in trouble. But can you tell me what happened today? I gave her my story, she thanked me and hung up. I did my spelling, I prayed my rosary, and went to bed."

• 22:37Georgia Hardstark?

  Oh my god.

• 22:39Karen Kilgariff?

  "The next day at school, we had a substitute teacher."

• 22:41Georgia Hardstark?

  Yeah, who did?

• 22:42Karen Kilgariff?

  "Word quickly spread, Sister Anne was gone. She had been sent away to wherever bad nuns go and was replaced by a nice, stable, lay teacher with dishpan hands, who we would call Dishy for the rest of the year. Stay sexy and offer your suffering up to Jesus."

• 22:59Georgia Hardstark?

  Oh my god.

• 22:59Karen Kilgariff?

  "Sarah. P.S. I teach preschool, and whenever a kid's mad about something trivial, I do the look, listen. Look and listen, and look and listen, until they get annoyed with me and stomp off. It works every time." Sarah, you just moved into my number-one favorite fucking email. Because I don't, I try not to read these. I just skim them for nouns, so I know what's about to happen. But that...

• 23:24Georgia Hardstark?

  Slapping, slap that kid across the face, right?

• 23:27Karen Kilgariff?

  Hit him back.

• 23:27Georgia Hardstark?

  You know that kid's got a fetish now. A grown-up fetish of being slapped in the face by nuns. Right?

• 23:33Karen Kilgariff?

  There's got to be a nun.

• 23:34Georgia Hardstark?

  There's got to be someone watching.

• 23:35Karen Kilgariff?

  A schoolgirl outfit.

• 23:36Georgia Hardstark?

  A nun in a schoolgirl outfit.

• 23:38Karen Kilgariff?

  And then it's, "You're bad, Tommy, you're bad."

• 23:40Georgia Hardstark?

  Exactly. Okay, my last one.

• 23:43Karen Kilgariff?

  Let him live.

• 23:44Georgia Hardstark?

  "Hero teacher was a bitchy queen."

• 23:47Karen Kilgariff?

  Oh.

• 23:47Georgia Hardstark?

  "Hey, love you. I was outed as gay at the beginning of my senior year in 1980 at a high school party." Starting off strong.

• 23:56Karen Kilgariff?

  In 1980? Horrifying. I'm so sorry.

• 24:01Georgia Hardstark?

  "Although I didn't reap the whirlwind of abuse I'd expected from my southern, small-town classmates, it sent me into a downwards spiral of fear and deep, deep depression. Understandably, I stopped doing any of the things I loved, including studying. I know, nerd. So my straight A's became C's and D's. My teachers noticed, of course, but none asked me what was going on or if I needed help. One told me my brain probably wasn't mature enough for calculus. Another pulled me aside and actually said, 'It's okay, some people peak early.'" "But my AP American History teacher, let's call him Mr. Patterson, never said a thing to me all semester. That wasn't unusual. He was a big, loud, southern queen, like a cross between a football coach and Truman Capote." Brilliant.

• 24:46Karen Kilgariff?

  That's, what's his name on Modern, it's Cam on Modern Family.

• 24:50Georgia Hardstark?

  Totally Cam.

• 24:51Karen Kilgariff?

  That's incredible.

• 24:52Georgia Hardstark?

  "Bitchy, intimidating, and mean. His vibe was always wanting to watch the school burn down while sipping a G and D." Hell yeah. "One of his hallmarks was handing back our tests and papers one by one, walking up the rows of desks, telling us what a useless, talentless, decadent generation we were in, in a booming lisp. It was funny, but he wasn't joking. At the beginning of the second semester, when I was at my absolute lowest, he was handing back the term papers we were supposed to have written over the break. As he slammed each paper down on a desk, he saved a little hidden insult for that particular student. Quote, 'They wouldn't hold your hand in college,' slam, 'if you even get to college,' slam, 'which is unlikely when you cannot spell

• 25:36Georgia Hardstark?

  or string two words together coherently,' slam. When he got to me, I braced, but knew it didn't matter. My depression had numbed me to almost anything. He stood next to my desk and said, quote, 'But maybe your generation isn't a total loss. Some of you can write better than the textbook,' slam."

• 25:56Karen Kilgariff?

  That's right.

• 25:57Georgia Hardstark?

  "I peeked at my grade, A+, with the note, 'You write like an angel.'" "If you're thinking that solved everything, or that he became my mentor, no. He never said another thing to me until just before spring break. I was done only after class because I didn't like to linger in the crowded corridors. He looked up from the papers he was grading and said, with a little wave at the noisy hallway, 'Mr. S, these people are turkeys. Don't become a turkey.'"

• 26:24Karen Kilgariff?

  Oh.

• 26:25Georgia Hardstark?

  "I mostly pulled myself out of my depression that spring, at least enough to get away from high school. I spent the next 40 years as a writer, editor. I'm now married, semi-retired, and working on my first novel. Mr. Patterson was never in the front of my mind over the years. Other than those few interactions, there wasn't much to remember. But in hindsight, that man probably saved my life by simply reminding me I wasn't worthless. He knew, then as now, we bitchy queens have got to take care of each other. S.S.DGM and don't be a turkey, Mr. S."

• 26:57Karen Kilgariff?

  Oh, Mr. S, congratulations.

• 27:01Georgia Hardstark?

  I had a teacher that saved my life in the same way.

• 27:04Karen Kilgariff?

  Yeah.

• 27:05Georgia Hardstark?

  Like, Mrs. Mercer was her name. And I wouldn't be where I am. I've written about her in our book. I would not be where I am today without her.

• 27:12Karen Kilgariff?

  Because she took an interest.

• 27:13Georgia Hardstark?

  Yeah.

• 27:14Karen Kilgariff?

  She saw you.

• 27:14Georgia Hardstark?

  Yeah, totally.

• 27:15Karen Kilgariff?

  It's huge. I mean, especially that age where you do, like, unless you're a cheerleader or a football star, you go invisible, and then you're kind of grappling with that. And the irony of someone being outed at a time where it was only a punchline. And the risk, there's like, real physical risk.

• 27:35Georgia Hardstark?

  Yes.

• 27:35Karen Kilgariff?

  Crazy.

• 27:36Georgia Hardstark?

  Absolutely. Yeah, it definitely was like, everyone else around you is having the time of their life. Everyone's telling you it's the best years of your life, and you're fucking depressed and miserable, and you think something's wrong with you.

• 27:44Karen Kilgariff?

  Or you believe that you don't belong, you don't get to have that, or something. What I really love, too, is like, that idea, it wasn't his mentor, nothing else. Because he was actually being a great teacher. He's just like, get your fucking head on straight and focus on what you need to be doing.

• 28:00Georgia Hardstark?

  This shit isn't, this shit is not, like, not worth it.

• 28:02Karen Kilgariff?

  Right. Don't worry about these people. Bye. And then there's no like, please come and tell me how you do. It's nothing. It's just like, go actually do it. I love it.

• 28:11Georgia Hardstark?

  Let's repeat it. So you guys remember, Kids in Need Foundation is where we're donating to, and to post your Instagram story with a link to your wishlist teachers and tag us at MyFavoriteMurder. Let's get some wishlets cleared.

• 28:23Karen Kilgariff?

  I was going to tell a story because this is my sister's last year of teaching.

• 28:27Georgia Hardstark?

  It is?

• 28:28Karen Kilgariff?

  Yeah.

• 28:28Georgia Hardstark?

  Oh my god.

• 28:29Karen Kilgariff?

  And she has, I think it's 30 years, if not 32.

• 28:33Georgia Hardstark?

  Holy shit, Laura.

• 28:34Karen Kilgariff?

  She has been a grammar school teacher. And she's taught every grade, and she's done, I mean, she's done every single thing. But the last, like, five years she's been focusing on kindergarten because she loves getting little kids and basically teaching them how to learn.

• 28:49Georgia Hardstark?

  Totally.

• 28:49Karen Kilgariff?

  That's like, her favorite thing. And I just wanted, she doesn't listen to the show, and she doesn't like this show. But we all know her. And to be a teacher for that long, and to be dedicated the way she's been. It's just like, these are the people who are, make it possible. And we all learned this lesson in COVID. These people make it possible for everybody else to live their lives when they have families.

• 29:12Georgia Hardstark?

  Absolutely.

• 29:13Karen Kilgariff?

  And they get paid absolute shit because it's a female-dominated job. And all of those things, hopefully, will change sooner rather than later. But in the meantime, there's people who are really keeping it together in the most egregious circumstances. So if you have anything extra, and you can give it in any way you can, clear one item on one list. There's a lot of teachers out there that are doing it, and they never get any applause, they never get any, anything.

• 29:43Georgia Hardstark?

  Perfamation. Yeah, that's amazing. Wow.

• 29:45Karen Kilgariff?

  Yeah.

• 29:46Georgia Hardstark?

  Incredible. I wish Laura had been my teacher. She's so sweet.

• 29:49Karen Kilgariff?

  She was a, she is a really good teacher. She was, I was her first student, and she was a very good teacher.

• 29:55Georgia Hardstark?

  Look at you now.

• 29:56Karen Kilgariff?

  And look, she, look, she taught me how to get my own podcast studio.

• 30:00Georgia Hardstark?

  All her bullying worked. She took an all-out on you so she could be a teacher that's calm and...

• 30:05Karen Kilgariff?

  That's right. They all think she's really nice. I've tried to sue her through the state many times, and they won't let me.

• 30:12Georgia Hardstark?

  Well, thanks for listening, you guys.

• 30:14Karen Kilgariff?

  Happy back to school. I feel bad for you, but, you know, enjoy.

• 30:18Georgia Hardstark?

  Totally.

• 30:19Karen Kilgariff?

  And stay sexy.

• 30:19Georgia Hardstark?

  And don't get murdered.

• 30:21Karen Kilgariff?

  Goodbye.

• 30:22Speaker 01

  Elvis, do you want a cookie?

• 30:31Karen Kilgariff?

  This has been an Exactly Right Production.

• 30:33Georgia Hardstark?

  Our managing producer is Molly Smith.

• 30:35Karen Kilgariff?

  Our consulting producer is Kate Schellbach.

• 30:37Georgia Hardstark?

  Our creative lead is Allison Agosti.

• 30:39Karen Kilgariff?

  Our associate producer is Tessa Hughes and our editor is Aristotle Acevedo.

• 30:44Georgia Hardstark?

  This episode was mixed by Leonis Colaci.

• 30:46Karen Kilgariff?

  Email your hometowns to [email protected] and follow the show on Instagram at MyFavoriteMurder.

• 30:52Georgia Hardstark?

  Listen to My Favorite Murder on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

• 30:57Karen Kilgariff?

  Or watch new episodes every week on Netflix. Search for My Favorite Murder, add us to your list, and hit the double thumbs up button. Goodbye.

• 31:11Karen Kilgariff?

  Calling all amateur detectives and podcast obsessives.

• 31:15Georgia Hardstark?

  Virgin Voyages' second True Crime Voyage sets sail March 20, 2027, for a five-night escape to Grand Turk and the Beach Club at Bimini.

• 31:23Karen Kilgariff?

  As part of the On Air at Sea collection, this immersive sailing brings together fan favorite podcasts, including Disgrace Land, Buried Bones, and Wise Crack, for live recordings, behind-the-scenes access, exclusive meet-and-greets, and crime-themed programming that you won't find anywhere else.

• 31:40Georgia Hardstark?

  All aboard our award-winning, kid-free ships.

• 31:43Karen Kilgariff?

  Head over to virginvoyages.com/truecrime to secure your spot. Goodbye.

• 31:48Speaker 00

  Okay, laundry stinks, literally. I mean, you could just keep buying new underwear. Not that I've ever done that. Or maybe sort your clothes into piles based on how re-wearable or filthy they are. Or just use Arm & Hammer Deep Clean. It's made for real-life stinks and stains. So even if you don't do laundry the "right" way, Deep Clean will knock it out. I mean, it is from the number-one liquid detergent brand that tackles more loads than any other. Come clean with Arm & Hammer Deep Clean. Number one claim based on total wash loads sold.

• 32:24Speaker 07

  This episode sponsored by Codecademy. Your job is changing, fast. New tools, new expectations, and real pressure to keep up. This isn't a someday problem. It's happening right now. That's where Codecademy comes in. Instead of just watching or reading, you learn by doing. From your very first lesson, you're writing real code directly in your browser. No setup, no guesswork. Whether it's AI tools, prompt engineering, data analysis, or cybersecurity, Codecademy shows you exactly what to learn and gives you a clear, step-by-step path to get there. So you're not just keeping up with tech, you're actually getting ahead.

• 33:05Speaker 07

  With structured career paths and real-world projects, you'll build skills you can use immediately on the job. Join millions of people already leveling up with Codecademy. Start your free trial today at codecademy.com.