Pod Insights My Favorite Murder with Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark MFM Minisode 453 About this episode This week’s hometowns include a vintage murder and an inspiring story about a public pool.
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Transcript Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.
0:01 Karen Kilgariff? This is exactly right.
0:06 Speaker 01 In New Orleans, truckers kept getting sideswiped the exact same way. When a man is found murdered under questionable circumstances related to these accidents, the rubber hits the road. And what the feds uncover is a complex scheme of staged wrecks, financial fraud, and a pair of conspiring lovers behind it. This is a story about fake accidents that led to real consequences. Listen to Over My Dead Body: Operation Sideswipe wherever you get your podcasts. Audible subscribers can binge all episodes early and ad-free right now. Join Audible in the Audible app or by subscribing on Apple Podcasts or Spotify.
0:42 Georgia Hardstark? The Hulu original series Phony is now streaming on Hulu and Hulu on Disney+. Sonny's life is pretty great until he wakes up from a car accident to a world that looks exactly like his, with one exception: his mom.
0:55 Karen Kilgariff? Starring five-time Emmy nominee Carney Britton and Sam Nivola, this small town is hiding the mother of all mysteries just beneath the surface.
1:02 Georgia Hardstark? Watch the Hulu original series, Phony.
1:04 Karen Kilgariff? Now streaming on Hulu and Hulu on Disney+ for bundle subscribers. Terms apply. Goodbye.
1:10 Speaker 03 Do you ever feel like your computer is tracking you? Well, it's not. It's your browser following you. But not if you come back to Firefox. Firefox blocks the trackers automatically, doesn't follow you from site to site, and supports the ad blockers other browsers dropped. Plus, you can switch AI on or off when its intelligence is acting too artificial. And switching? Totally painless. Your bookmarks, passwords, and browsing history come right with you. Come back to Firefox. Visit Firefox.com.
1:56 Karen Kilgariff? Hello and welcome.
1:58 Georgia Hardstark? To my favorite murder.
1:59 Karen Kilgariff? The minisode.
2:00 Georgia Hardstark? We read you.
2:02 Karen Kilgariff? Your own stories, emails and stories.
2:05 Georgia Hardstark? You want to go first?
2:07 Karen Kilgariff? Your own stories and emails and stories.
2:09 Georgia Hardstark? I'm not going to read you the title. Yeah, well, no, I'm not. Okay. Hi, Georgia and Karen, first time writer, longtime procrastinator.
2:16 Karen Kilgariff? Hey.
2:17 Georgia Hardstark? At seven years old, I randomly decided to sleep in my own room one night, rare, locked the door, even rarer, and had a lovely uninterrupted sleep. Meanwhile, my older brother was followed home from a 7-Eleven by a man who held him at gunpoint, forced his way into our home, threatened my parents and demanded money.
2:37 Karen Kilgariff? Holy shit.
2:38 Georgia Hardstark? We're talking about fucking, what's it called?
2:40 Karen Kilgariff? Home invasion?
2:41 Georgia Hardstark? Robber, yes, home invasion robbery, one of my biggest fears.
2:44 Karen Kilgariff? Yeah.
2:45 Georgia Hardstark? While my dad distracted the man downstairs, my mom woke my sister, who then climbed down a wrought iron fence and ran to a neighbor's house to call the cops. The guy was arrested, the gun was fake, and I slept through the entire thing like a damn rock.
2:58 Karen Kilgariff? Oh, yeah.
3:00 Georgia Hardstark? The guy even tried my door, but moved on when it was locked. Oh, like.
3:08 Georgia Hardstark? My mom explained it all the next morning on the way to school like it was a casual weather update. A decade later, we got a letter that the guy had been released. Anyway, stay sexy and sleep like the dead. Thanks for creating such a hilarious, cathartic space to share stories like these. You two are truly the highlight of my week every week.
3:26 Karen Kilgariff? Hey.
3:26 Georgia Hardstark? My god, SSDGM, Crystal Marie.
3:29 Karen Kilgariff? Crystal Marie, thank you.
3:31 Georgia Hardstark? Good job, sleeping through a fucking hostage situation.
3:34 Karen Kilgariff? Sleeping through trauma. Yeah, I'll have none of this trauma, you guys can have it.
3:38 Georgia Hardstark? Good night, I'll have what she's having. That's me on Ambien, basically.
3:42 Karen Kilgariff? Okay, the subject line of this is a vintage murder.
3:46 Georgia Hardstark? Great.
3:46 Karen Kilgariff? It says, hello, beautiful ladies. Lucille Hartman is my husband's great-grandfather's first cousin. Lucille was a very attractive woman with red hair. She was reportedly very pampered, spoiled, and had an ill temper. That was in quotes. Lucille's father owned Hartman Oil Works, where she later met her husband William Witt in 1930. Lucille was 25, her husband 55 when they married. The couple had a troubled marriage.
4:11 Georgia Hardstark? Oh, you think?
4:12 Karen Kilgariff? And had been to court three times in a year. William attempted to divorce her on the grounds of cruelty, but was denied. After losing the petition for divorce, the couple walked out of the courthouse, apparently on friendly terms.
4:24 Georgia Hardstark? No.
4:25 Karen Kilgariff? A witness stated that Lucille left her husband, saying, "Well, then, I'll see you in a week." William began to walk down the street, and Lucille got into her car. She drove to catch up to William, pulled over, and stepped out of the car. Lucille took a .32 caliber pistol that was concealed in her hat. She fired at William point-blank, once while he was standing, and twice when he fell to the ground. One bullet went through his heart, and the other two bullets through his head.
4:54 Georgia Hardstark? Oh, my god.
4:55 Karen Kilgariff? Right? She immediately surrendered her gun to the sheriff and told him, "I'm ready to go to jail."
4:59 Georgia Hardstark? Whoa.
5:00 Karen Kilgariff? She was promptly arrested, and they're like, "No problem." There was a highly-publicized trial before she was sent to prison. Lucille refused to talk to anyone and displayed no regret in the killing of her husband. It came out in the trial that Lucille had been married before to a man named Ralph, who she shot and wounded before their divorce in 1925.
5:20 Georgia Hardstark? I was gonna be like, "I bet he was this and that."
5:22 Karen Kilgariff? Yeah.
5:23 Georgia Hardstark? That's kind of, it's a pattern now.
5:24 Karen Kilgariff? That's right. In 1934, Lucille had a male visitor when she was in prison. This visitor somehow changed clothes with Lucille during the visit.
5:32 Georgia Hardstark? Shut the fuck up.
5:33 Karen Kilgariff? The male, wearing her clothes, remained in the prison while she walked out of the door to freedom in disguise, wearing the man's clothing. She was never seen or heard from again.
5:42 Georgia Hardstark? Stop it.
5:44 Karen Kilgariff? It was later learned that the man visiting her was employed by Hartman Oil Works, which was then being run by Lucille's brother, George. The whereabouts of Lucille Hartman Witt remain unknown to this day.
5:56 Georgia Hardstark? France, bet you anything.
5:58 Karen Kilgariff? Fuck.
5:59 Georgia Hardstark? That is fucking incredible. How we, that should be a full-episode story.
6:03 Karen Kilgariff? And that woman became Betty White.
6:07 Karen Kilgariff? What if it's some huge beloved character in American? I started listening to your podcast in 2016, day one. And since then, I've graduated high school, got my master's degree in social work, and am now working as a licensed mental health therapist in Arkansas.
6:22 Georgia Hardstark? Wow.
6:23 Karen Kilgariff? Thank you, ladies, for all you do, Laura.
6:26 Georgia Hardstark? Oh, my God.
6:27 Karen Kilgariff? Guess what, Laura? Thank you for all you do.
6:29 Georgia Hardstark? Thank you, and great job. It's crazy that we can go, like, we've been through so many people's existences.
6:35 Karen Kilgariff? Yes. I mean, like, someone got a master's on our dime.
6:38 Georgia Hardstark? Yeah, and we're still fucking podcasting.
6:40 Karen Kilgariff? And we're still fucking doing the same fucking thing. College dropouts?
6:44 Georgia Hardstark? Over and over.
6:45 Karen Kilgariff? I want to go to Laura's college and get an honorary degree and be like, this is how easy it is.
6:51 Georgia Hardstark? We've earned a fucking honorary degree, for sure. At least from my alma mater, Los Angeles City College, at least.
6:58 Karen Kilgariff? I feel like I'd love to take some classes there.
6:59 Georgia Hardstark? And by alma mater, I mean, I didn't graduate from there.
7:02 Karen Kilgariff? Right, right.
7:03 Georgia Hardstark? They had great classes. It was a great school.
7:04 Karen Kilgariff? So that was more of a, like, a part-time stop-by hang?
7:07 Georgia Hardstark? Yeah, it's like, I don't know what to do with myself, and I need to stay on my mom's insurance.
7:09 Karen Kilgariff? Yeah, so I guess I'll drive to this parking lot a couple of days a week.
7:14 Georgia Hardstark? Find a kitten. I did find a kitten.
7:16 Karen Kilgariff? Try to convince someone to go to a bar with me during the day.
7:19 Georgia Hardstark? Or the arcades across the street. Okay, stop, we could do this all fucking day.
7:23 Karen Kilgariff? Please be serious.
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8:11 Karen Kilgariff? of a website or domain. Goodbye. Vacation planning should feel like a breeze, not a deep dive into countless travel sites searching for the best deal.
8:19 Georgia Hardstark? With CheapCaribbean's Budget Beach Finder, you can search every destination and every date, all in one search.
8:25 Karen Kilgariff? You'll save time and money with the Budget Beach Finder.
8:27 Georgia Hardstark? Say goodbye to endless scrolling and tab hopping and hello to Budget Beach Bliss at your fingertips.
8:33 Karen Kilgariff? Go to CheapCaribbean.com to try out the Budget Beach Finder and see just how stress-free vacation planning should be. Goodbye. You know a favorite M-word? Magnesium.
8:43 Georgia Hardstark? Like the kind that's in Dr. Teal's magnesium spray.
8:46 Karen Kilgariff? Made from a proprietary blend of topical minerals powered by pure Epsom salt and natural Dead Sea salt, it's designed to help you relax and get in the right state of mind for a good night's rest.
8:56 Georgia Hardstark? If you need a reset after a crazy day, make Dr. Teal's magnesium spray part of your nighttime routine. It's an effortless way to get a boost of topical magnesium that can help you relax your body and mind before bedtime.
9:07 Karen Kilgariff? Dr. Teal's magnesium spray comes in a lightweight, fast-drying formula.
9:10 Georgia Hardstark? Just shake it up and generously spritz onto the soles of your feet and massage until absorbed.
9:15 Karen Kilgariff? I was kind of blown away the first time I used this spray because I do have problems sleeping. And when there's something this simple, you just spray it on your feet and suddenly you're asleep and the next morning you're like, wait, what happened? Did my problem just get solved? Like, it actually is that easy.
9:30 Georgia Hardstark? And your stinky feet now smell like lavender. Like, what more do you want?
9:33 Karen Kilgariff? How dare you call my feet stinky?
9:36 Georgia Hardstark? For wellness, you can feel find Dr. Teal's magnesium spray online or in your local bath aisle.
9:41 Karen Kilgariff? Goodbye.
9:44 Georgia Hardstark? This email is cursed, or maybe it's just me. Dear Karen and Georgia, I want to start off by letting you know that at the moment of writing this email, I am eating a cosmic brownie and ignoring work I have to do for my first week back at SFSU.
9:56 Karen Kilgariff? Hey!
9:56 Georgia Hardstark? Wait, can I say something? San Francisco State University, is that you?
9:58 Karen Kilgariff? I wanted to go there. My mom was like, you won't like it, it's too foggy. Just like, are you out of your mind? Cosmic brownies, those are the little Debbie's. I bought a bunch of those at the beginning of COVID.
10:10 Georgia Hardstark? Oh, they're so good.
10:11 Karen Kilgariff? Now I can't look at them.
10:12 Georgia Hardstark? No, I, I.
10:13 Karen Kilgariff? I ate boxes and boxes.
10:15 Georgia Hardstark? Just so good.
10:16 Karen Kilgariff? They're really great.
10:16 Georgia Hardstark? Okay. I also want to know, and that I am the first grandchild, granddaughter, great granddaughter, niece, nibbing, et cetera. So overthinking is what I do. So on to my curse. So this is about her family.
10:28 Karen Kilgariff? Okay.
10:28 Georgia Hardstark? But so that's what she's saying.
10:29 Karen Kilgariff? Okay.
10:29 Georgia Hardstark? Great. Every single time I start a new school, elementary, middle, high school, someone in my family dies.
10:38 Karen Kilgariff? Uh oh.
10:39 Georgia Hardstark? When I started kindergarten, my mom's stepdad, Andy, died from a heart attack. I remember this even though I was five. That was because at the funeral, my aunt made me go up to the coffin and look at him. All caps, I cannot tell you how much I did not want to do that.
10:54 Karen Kilgariff? Yep.
10:54 Georgia Hardstark? Yes, you can.
10:55 Karen Kilgariff? There's no need for that.
10:56 Georgia Hardstark? No, five. I didn't want to go up because in my five-year-old brain, I thought all that would be left would be his skeleton.
11:02 Karen Kilgariff? Oh.
11:03 Georgia Hardstark? Jesus.
11:04 Karen Kilgariff? A skeleton and a little suit.
11:06 Georgia Hardstark? That's like a horror movie, walking up to the coffin.
11:08 Karen Kilgariff? Yeah, she's like, it's a dead body. This is a Halloween situation. Here's what I can expect.
11:12 Georgia Hardstark? Oh, my God. My first year of middle school, I repressed as much as I could from that time. My mom's mom, Darcy, died. I can't tell you I felt any sadness, mostly because I was 11 and she was in late stages of dementia, but I still feel guilty that I felt relief. This happened when my whole family was at home. My brother was six at the time. I took him into, this is going to make me sound so fucking rich, the library. And closed the door so he didn't have to see the EMTs wheel my grandmother out the door on a gurney.
11:43 Karen Kilgariff? Yeah, that was nice.
11:45 Georgia Hardstark? It's a nice sister.
11:45 Karen Kilgariff? That's the opposite of a trash sibling.
11:47 Georgia Hardstark? Totally. Freshman year, my great-grandmother, Isla, died. She was my dad's paternal grandmother. We didn't have a memorial for her until almost two years later. I started community college during the pandemic. A week before online classes start, I am in Albuquerque, New Mexico with my grandma, Anita, who has pancreatic cancer. Just stop going to school if there's ever been a sign.
12:07 Karen Kilgariff? So rough.
12:08 Georgia Hardstark? That you should drop out.
12:09 Karen Kilgariff? Yeah. Just stop educating yourself.
12:12 Georgia Hardstark? The day before she died, I had broken my elbow. That was a shit week. Fast forward to January 7th of 2024, I had just finished moving into my on-campus housing for my first semester at SFSU. My dad's dad, Ron, had been in the hospital for months. I got the call.
12:28 Karen Kilgariff? God.
12:29 Georgia Hardstark? Just expecting it every time you like, sign up.
12:31 Karen Kilgariff? Yeah.
12:32 Georgia Hardstark? So, I am no longer allowed to get any more of an education, the safety of the remaining members of my family. Although, if I had my way, I would get the MFA I want. Not worth it. Not fucking worth it.
12:44 Karen Kilgariff? The MFA... Oh, a master's?
12:46 Georgia Hardstark? The MFA I want, yeah.
12:48 Karen Kilgariff? Oh, for a second I thought she meant, what do they call when you marry some guy and then...
12:52 Georgia Hardstark? MRS degree?
12:53 Karen Kilgariff? Yeah. I thought she was saying that. I'm like, why would you do that?
12:56 Georgia Hardstark? Sorry it's so long. MCMC.
13:00 Karen Kilgariff? MCMC?
13:01 Georgia Hardstark? Yeah, MCMC.
13:02 Karen Kilgariff? MCMC, is that the year they wrote it? And they're just being Roman about it? I just want to say this to you. Don't feel guilty that you are relieved that your grandma with Alzheimer's died. It's a relief. And it goes on too long.
13:14 Georgia Hardstark? That's like, you don't need the guilt on top of the sadness, right?
13:17 Karen Kilgariff? No, no, no. It's hard enough, and everyone feels relieved.
13:20 Georgia Hardstark? Yeah.
13:20 Karen Kilgariff? It's, it's very normal.
13:22 Georgia Hardstark? It's a horrible part of it, probably.
13:23 Karen Kilgariff? Yeah.
13:24 Georgia Hardstark? That's nice of you.
13:26 Karen Kilgariff? All right. The subject line of this email is "Internationally kidnapped by my grandparents."
13:30 Georgia Hardstark? Oh.
13:31 Karen Kilgariff? "Hi Karen in Georgia, I grew up in upstate New York in the 90s where my parents' idea of summer camp was dropping my sister and me off with our grandparents for weeks at a time. We loved it, and there was often a rotating crew of cousins with us as my aunts and uncles took parenting sabbaticals."
13:48 Karen Kilgariff? Yeah, I think you'd have to. "My grandparents loved taking road trips, and we cousins usually obliged with minimal complaints as my grandpa was guaranteed to stop for ice cream at some point."
13:57 Georgia Hardstark? Yeah. It's all it takes for a kid.
13:59 Karen Kilgariff? "Most trips led us to unmemorable small towns, but occasionally we got lucky and our destination was the most exotic place for any upstate kid: Canada."
14:10 Karen Kilgariff? One particular trip was especially exciting because we were headed to Niagara Falls. The trip did not start well. My seven-year-old cousin, Timmy, spent the entire two-hour drive arguing with my grandparents that we, quote, "could not drive to another country, you had to cross an ocean." Shut up. Timmy. Seven, you're seven, and you're arguing with me. Timmy watched the National Geographic Channel one too many times. My grandparents were not thrilled with his first-grade-level understanding of geography, and things became tense. Also, but like, okay, I'm gonna argue for him now. Stop arguing with a seven-year-old. Yep. Okay, Timmy. Okay, Timmy. We'll stay here in America. Whatever you need. Timmy. Timmy. Worst name. That's really your name. Okay.
14:54 Karen Kilgariff? As we approached border control, while Timmy continued screaming about oceans and airplanes. When we pulled up to the border, a cheerful Canadian border agent looked in the backseat and asked, "Excited to go to Canada, kids?" Timmy screamed back, "They can't drive me to another country, my mom said so."
15:11 Karen Kilgariff? These are not my parents. The formerly-friendly border agent immediately yelled at my grandpa to exit the vehicle, and things went downhill from there. Oh my god, he thought they were getting kidnapped. As this was the early 90s, kids were not required to have passports or birth certificates to cross into Canada from the US. My grandparents had no proof of who the three children under seven years old were in the backseat. The border agents immediately separated us from our grandparents, sat us in a small detention room, and gave us each a small box of raisins to snack on. Gross. You're not getting anything out of me with fucking a box of raisins. Get out of there. The Canadians asked us detailed questions about our trip and who our grandparents were.
15:53 Karen Kilgariff? When asked if our parents knew where we were, we all dutifully replied, "No." It's true. Our answers only confirmed the border agent's suspicions. My sister, Timmy, and I had clearly been kidnapped. Meanwhile, my grandparents were in another room being interrogated. Luckily, my grandpa happened to be a New York State Supreme Court Justice at the time.
16:13 Georgia Hardstark? There you go.
16:14 Karen Kilgariff? We're fine.
16:15 Georgia Hardstark? Yeah.
16:16 Karen Kilgariff? Must be nice. And somehow convinced the border agents to contact a fellow judge he knew who lived near the border. This judge showed up a few hours later with a few American court police officers and US Border Patrol agents.
16:28 Georgia Hardstark? Damn.
16:29 Karen Kilgariff? They verified that my grandpa was, in fact, an upstanding citizen and not a kidnapper, although at that point, I'm sure he was considering abandoning us. I don't remember much else about the trip, except for the glitter wand my grandma bought me at a rest stop on the drive back home.
16:45 Georgia Hardstark? That's a good memory.
16:46 Karen Kilgariff? I'm so sorry, but that's so real for a kid. Where it's like, we all got detained.
16:51 Georgia Hardstark? Grandparents almost got arrested.
16:52 Karen Kilgariff? But glitter.
16:53 Georgia Hardstark? Glitter wand.
16:55 Karen Kilgariff? My grandparents were notoriously cheap, so getting a souvenir was somehow more astonishing than being detained. Stay sexy and don't bring the annoying cousin to Canada with you, Laura.
17:04 Georgia Hardstark? A little shit. I mean, I was right from the beginning.
17:07 Karen Kilgariff? Yes.
17:08 Georgia Hardstark? Send us your accidental kidnapping stories.
17:11 Karen Kilgariff? Yes.
17:12 Georgia Hardstark? You know what I mean? I mean that in a really positive way, that like someone thought or accidentally did a thing.
17:17 Karen Kilgariff? Yeah.
17:17 Georgia Hardstark? That seemed like kidnapping, but it wasn't.
17:19 Karen Kilgariff? All actors in these stories must be like Timmy's grandparents.
17:23 Georgia Hardstark? Yeah.
17:24 Karen Kilgariff? Of good faith, good people.
17:25 Georgia Hardstark? Not legit kidnappers.
17:26 Karen Kilgariff? We don't.
17:27 Georgia Hardstark? I mean, or send what you want.
17:29 Karen Kilgariff? You can send us into.
17:29 Georgia Hardstark? I'm like, I'll fucking take it.
17:30 Karen Kilgariff? We'll listen to whatever you want to tell us.
17:32 Georgia Hardstark? My favorite murder at Gmail.
17:35 Karen Kilgariff? Vacation planning should feel like a breeze, not a deep dive into countless travel sites searching for the best deal.
17:40 Georgia Hardstark? With CheapCaribbean's Budget Beach Finder, you can search every destination and every date all in one search.
17:46 Karen Kilgariff? You'll save time and money with the Budget Beach Finder.
17:49 Georgia Hardstark? Say goodbye to endless scrolling and tab hopping and hello to Budget Beach Bliss at your fingertips.
17:54 Karen Kilgariff? Go to CheapCaribbean.com to try out the Budget Beach Finder and see just how stress-free vacation planning should be.
18:00 Georgia Hardstark? Goodbye.
18:01 Karen Kilgariff? You know a favorite M-word? Magnesium.
18:04 Georgia Hardstark? Like the kind that's in Dr. Teal's magnesium spray.
18:07 Karen Kilgariff? Made from a proprietary blend of topical minerals powered by pure Epsom salt and natural Dead Sea salt, it's designed to help you relax and get in the right state of mind for a good night's rest.
18:17 Georgia Hardstark? If you need a reset after a crazy day, make Dr. Teal's magnesium spray part of your nighttime routine. It's an effortless way to get a boost of topical magnesium that can help you relax your body and mind before bedtime.
18:28 Karen Kilgariff? Dr. Teal's magnesium spray comes in a lightweight, fast drying formula.
18:31 Georgia Hardstark? Just shake it up and generously spritz onto the soles of your feet and massage until absorbed.
18:36 Karen Kilgariff? I was kind of blown away the first time I used this spray because I do have problems sleeping. And when there's something this simple, you just spray it on your feet and suddenly you're asleep and the next morning you're like, wait, what happened? Did my problem just get solved? Like, it actually is that easy.
18:51 Georgia Hardstark? And your stinky feet now smell like lavender. Like, what more do you want?
18:54 Karen Kilgariff? How dare you call my feet stinky?
18:57 Georgia Hardstark? For wellness, you can feel find Dr. Teal's magnesium spray online or in your local bath aisle.
19:02 Karen Kilgariff? Goodbye.
19:03 Georgia Hardstark? The Hulu original series Phony is now streaming on Hulu and Hulu on Disney+
19:08 Karen Kilgariff? Sonny's life is pretty great, until he wakes up from a car accident to a world that looks exactly like his with one exception: his mom.
19:15 Georgia Hardstark? To everyone else, she's the same Ellen they've known their whole lives, but for Sonny, he knows something is off.
19:21 Karen Kilgariff? As his relationship with his mother begins to crack in unsettling ways, he's forced to question what happens when the perfect mom becomes a perfect stranger.
19:29 Georgia Hardstark? Is this all in his head or is there really an imposter in his house?
19:32 Karen Kilgariff? Starring five-time Emmy nominee Connie Britton and Sam Nevola, this small town is hiding the mother of all mysteries just beneath the surface.
19:39 Georgia Hardstark? Watch the Hulu original series Phony.
19:42 Karen Kilgariff? Now streaming on Hulu and Hulu on Disney+ for bundle subscribers. Terms apply.
19:46 Georgia Hardstark? Goodbye.
19:49 Georgia Hardstark? Okay, this one is great. Public pool stories, you say, is the title. Because we asked for that, but this one is amazing. It just starts, "Love you both. Thank you for encouraging me to get the help I needed." Okay, story time.
20:01 Karen Kilgariff? Aww.
20:01 Georgia Hardstark? I know, right? My 15-year-old self had the best dog ever named Dylan.
20:07 Karen Kilgariff? Mmm.
20:08 Georgia Hardstark? He was famous in our neighborhood. We lived across the street from an elementary school, and my mom, whose name was Romaine.
20:14 Karen Kilgariff? Like the lettuce?
20:15 Georgia Hardstark? Not spelled that way, but it looks that way. Romaine with a Y.
20:18 Karen Kilgariff? Yeah, maybe.
20:19 Georgia Hardstark? My mom ran a daycare at home, so he was always around kids. They all knew and loved him, and he appointed himself as their protector. Good boy.
20:28 Karen Kilgariff? Perfect.
20:29 Georgia Hardstark? But his number one most favorite kid in the whole world is my little brother. They went everywhere together. As 70s kids, we were free-range, and my brother and his friends were explorers. They swam in the creek, rode their bikes for miles, and climbed anything and everything they could find.
20:45 Karen Kilgariff? Oh, it really was like that.
20:46 Georgia Hardstark? Also, guys, no sunblock. There was, we didn't-
20:48 Karen Kilgariff? Oh, fuck, no.
20:49 Georgia Hardstark? No, it's sunburned all the way.
20:51 Karen Kilgariff? And also, like, a lot of corduroy in that situation, in the summer.
20:55 Georgia Hardstark? Yeah.
20:56 Karen Kilgariff? Sorry, but I just saw a picture of me and my sister and my cousins Eileen and Mary-Kate, and they had come to visit us. So Patty O'Hara, who lives across the street, she brought her horse down so they could sit on the horse, because they were from San Francisco, so they didn't get to do stuff like that.
21:09 Georgia Hardstark? Yeah.
21:09 Karen Kilgariff? Me and my cousin Eileen are both wearing leotards only. And I'm, like, six, and she's probably 12. And it was, and we looked at the picture together, and she goes, "I think those were our bathing suits." And I was like, "Oh, yeah, I remember wearing it for ballet and also as a bathing suit."
21:26 Georgia Hardstark? Yeah. I love it.
21:28 Karen Kilgariff? And we weren't, I don't think-
21:29 Georgia Hardstark? No, it's fine.
21:30 Karen Kilgariff? I could have had a bathing suit, and obviously, my parents could afford ballet lessons.
21:33 Georgia Hardstark? And a fucking horse.
21:35 Karen Kilgariff? No, wait, that wasn't yours.
21:35 Georgia Hardstark? It was Patty's horse.
21:36 Karen Kilgariff? Right, right.
21:37 Georgia Hardstark? Okay.
21:37 Karen Kilgariff? One day-
21:37 Georgia Hardstark? I'm gonna stop interrupting you, I swear to God. Okay. "One day, my brother had to go someplace where Dylan, the dog, could not go. Can't remember where, but whatever. So my mom made sure he was inside as my brother was leaving. That dog cried and whined and barked and cried some more for long enough that my mom assumed it was okay to let him out. And the kids were free-range, and so were dogs back then, by the way." "He bolted out the door without touching the porch steps and headed straight to the local park where they spent a lot of time. While hunting for my brother, he eventually ended up at the park's pool. My sister, who absolutely cannot deal with animals of any kind, there's always one." And her five kids were already at the pool. So finding familiar faces, he decided to join them and rested a while in the grass poolside.
22:22 Georgia Hardstark? Couldn't find his favorite, so he found some family.
22:25 Karen Kilgariff? He's just like, all right, I'll sit here.
22:26 Georgia Hardstark? My sister was not happy about it and called my mom to come get him. This was, of course, laughable, and my mom told her, he knows his way home.
22:36 Karen Kilgariff? You can't get a ride from your parents for yourself. The dog's not getting a ride.
22:39 Georgia Hardstark? Absolutely not. He wanted to leave, so he needs to suffer the consequences.
22:43 Karen Kilgariff? That's right.
22:43 Georgia Hardstark? It's the 70s. After a good rest, he decided to join my nieces and nephews near the water, eventually getting in line for the diving board. I'm picturing like a golden retriever, like a really sweet.
22:55 Karen Kilgariff? Or a yellow lab.
22:56 Georgia Hardstark? Yellow lab, like a Mr. Peanut Butter. Everyone, everyone was quite.
23:00 Karen Kilgariff? Such a known character.
23:02 Georgia Hardstark? Bojack Horseman.
23:02 Karen Kilgariff? Oh, yeah.
23:03 Georgia Hardstark? It's, um, what's his name? Paul F. Tonkins, the character. It's like the best. Everyone was quite tickled and nobody thought he would go through with it, but of course he did. He got in line, like he's a dog and he got in line for a diving board, didn't even like bust his way to the front.
23:17 Karen Kilgariff? Dogs don't know, dogs don't know what lines are. No, but they're like, I trust you guys. I've hung out with you guys long enough to know that I'm either gonna get like a piece of popcorn or some good times out of this.
23:27 Georgia Hardstark? If you're standing like this, I'm gonna stand like this.
23:29 Karen Kilgariff? Yeah.
23:30 Georgia Hardstark? It was not the high dive, but the medium height board. He successfully jumped and swam to the edge where he used the ladder to get out.
23:37 Karen Kilgariff? Oh.
23:37 Georgia Hardstark? Dylan. He managed to get three jumps in before the lifeguards were able to grab him by the collar. Or were they even trying? They knew him and were not afraid. My sister was dying of embarrassment and told her kids to pretend they didn't know him.
23:51 Karen Kilgariff? Oh, shut up.
23:52 Georgia Hardstark? She's terrible, which they obviously didn't do.
23:55 Karen Kilgariff? Right.
23:55 Georgia Hardstark? You're the fucking star of the pool.
23:57 Karen Kilgariff? That's my brother's dog.
23:59 Georgia Hardstark? Exactly. He was my best friend for 15 years and I have only one decent picture of him.
24:05 Karen Kilgariff? Oh.
24:05 Georgia Hardstark? I have that too, where it's like, I have like three pictures of my childhood cat.
24:09 Karen Kilgariff? Right.
24:09 Georgia Hardstark? Who I was with for 20 years. I have it framed in several sizes all over my house to this day.
24:14 Karen Kilgariff? I would kill for a picture of our dog Pepsi. I'd kill.
24:17 Georgia Hardstark? I bet you can find one.
24:19 Karen Kilgariff? How?
24:20 Georgia Hardstark? AI.
24:22 Karen Kilgariff? Stay sexy and always wait your turn. Oh. Tree. Tree legendary email. The dog got in line. Do you know dogs are like the only animals that understand what pointing is? Like, but you're trying to get them to look over there, not like look at my finger. Makes sense. Because he does it all the time. It's so great. I used to say to George when we were at the dog park and Frank would run up into the hills. I know. I'd go, go get that dog. And she would do it. She fucking knew. Subject line of this is Trash Kid or Creepy Kid? You decide. Hey ladies, love y'all, love the pod. You want trash kids? I was that with an extra dash of creepy. So it's a self-reporting email.
25:02 Karen Kilgariff? I'm nine years old and it's a warm summer evening at my local softball fields, a wonderful place that smelled of burgers and hot dogs, and a place where I always had a friend, coach, or distant family member throwing in the distance. So my mom and I always like to arrive extra early before my games. And then parentheses, it says, probably to get me out of the house and burn as much energy as possible. We quickly run into my teammate, also nine years old, and her little sister, six, and dad, parentheses, probably with the same motive, and we ask our parents if we can go explore. I'm sure they thought we meant to go to the playground when they said yes, but no. We didn't have time for the playground. We wanted to find treasure. And treasure we did find. Shit.
25:45 Karen Kilgariff? After getting the nod of approval, we march off into the woods that surrounded the field. We walk for a bit along the railroad tracks that were just on the other side of the tree line. And then a parentheses, it says, I know, so unsafe, but we thought we were so cool. And then it says, until we see something in the distance. A skull, leg bones, ribs. What a discovery. They must be dinosaur bones. What? Can you believe this? They must be so old. How much money do you think we could get? Our questions and dreams filled the air. Well, we must take these back with us. People must know of our discovery. Oh my god. The three of us pick up as many bones as we can carry. Me proudly and carefully holding the skull.
26:29 Karen Kilgariff? Child with a skull is pretty fucking. Hey. It's like, uh. Children of the corn. Lean on, what is it? Stand by me. Stand by me. Not lean on me. It's totally different. That's for the middle aged one. I almost said Goonies and then I was like, that's stand on me. Okay. Stand by me. Stand on me. Stand on me. What the fuck? Okay. Okay, so holding a skull. We hurry back to our parents who are watching a game and blissfully ignorant to our whereabouts. I shout to them, Mama, look what we found. We found dinosaur bones. My mother's jaw drops. My friend's father basically knocks them out of our hands. I'm sure he must have been terrified of what diseases his two beautiful daughters were holding. And every other parent in the stand is just staring at these three children, holding what turned out to be a deer skeleton.
27:13 Karen Kilgariff? Holy shit. That's a big skull. Yes, it is. Big, long, like. Big long. Kind of a small horse. Our hopes were dashed. Looking back, I'm not sure why we immediately assumed dinosaurs, especially being kids from the South, who had seen their fair share of dead deer. All right. Anyway, my mom must have washed off my hands 10 times before the game started. And I was not allowed to roam with friends for a long time. Thanks for reading and thanks for being you. Stay sexy and don't automatically assume dinosaur bones. Courtney. Kids are so creepy. So gross. And also like, let's bring these bones somewhere. Yeah. Let's bring them out of here and show the world. It needs to be seen. Yes.
27:57 Karen Kilgariff? This is the find of a century. We're archaeologists. I do have to give a plug right now because this past two weeks, Frank has found a dead deer in the backyard somewhere because he keeps bringing bones and like. How do you know they're deer? Oh. Karen, this is the start of a fucking, one of our stories. I know. It sounds like a lie because I'm just going along with what just happened, but this. No, I believe you. I have pictures. What if it's a human? No, no, because the first one he came up with had a little hoof and it still had a little fur on it. And the other day I was walking through the front room and I looked down and there was just a spine. Fuck. It's wild and it keeps happening. Stop. No more bones. I know. Said, no thanks. Like a dog? What? But good dog. But good dog, Frank. Send us your fucked up bone stories. Ooh, fucked up bone stories.
28:42 Karen Kilgariff? Fucked up bone stories, any kind. Yeah, we need them. Did you break a bone and it stuck out? Ooh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you have like metal plates? We want to know. Bring it on. Yeah. And stay sexy. And don't get murdered. Goodbye.
28:56 Georgia Hardstark? Elvis, do you want a cookie?
29:04 Georgia Hardstark? This has been an Exactly Right production. Our senior producers are Alejandra Keck and Molly Smith.
29:09 Karen Kilgariff? Our editor is Aristotle Acevedo.
29:11 Georgia Hardstark? This episode was mixed by Leona Scolacci.
29:13 Karen Kilgariff? Email your hometowns to [email protected] .
29:16 Georgia Hardstark? And follow the show on Instagram at MyFavoriteMurder.
29:19 Karen Kilgariff? Listen to My Favorite Murder on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
29:23 Georgia Hardstark? And now you can watch us on Exactly Right's YouTube page. And while you're there, please like and subscribe.
29:28 Karen Kilgariff? Goodbye.
29:35 Karen Kilgariff? Vacation planning should feel like a breeze, not a deep dive into countless travel sites searching for the best deal.
29:41 Georgia Hardstark? With CheapCaribbean's Budget Beach Finder, you can search every destination and every date all in one search.
29:46 Karen Kilgariff? You'll save time and money with the Budget Beach Finder.
29:49 Georgia Hardstark? Say goodbye to endless scrolling and tab hopping and hello to budget beach bliss at your fingertips.
29:54 Karen Kilgariff? Go to cheapcaribbean.com to try out the Budget Beach Finder and see just how stress-free vacation planning should be. Goodbye.
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Previous 497 - Cigarettes and Mothballs Next Rewind with Karen & Georgia - 62: Trust Issues & Ice Skate Shoes Page updated November 1, 2026 · transcript and summary are machine-generated