Listener Tales 113: 90's Sleepover Edition!

Weirdos! Grab your PJ's, some Aqua Net, and your favorite blue eye shadow and get ready to burn the midnight oil with us! This time, Deb has found 90's tales that will ensure that you're not the first to fall asleep at the slumber party... OH! And these tales are BY you FOR you and ALL ABOUT YOU juuuuust in case you were wondering! Don't forget to check out the YOUTUBE version is packed with extra Nicholas footage! If you’ve got a listener tale please send it to Deb by emailing us at [email protected] with “Listener Tales” somewhere in the subject line, and if you share pictures, please let us know if we can share them with fellow weirdos! :)

• 0:01Speaker 00

  Halloween costumes are all about the details. You can't be a wizard without a wand. You know who else lives for details? Southern New Hampshire University. SNHU's online programs are constantly updated for the needs of today's workforce, so you can build the skills that matter most. Plus, there are no set class times or live lectures, just flexible online learning that works for you. It's not magic. Learn more at SNHU.edu/morbid.

• 0:28Speaker 00

  Nearly 50 years after Stephen King's Carrie became a cultural phenomenon, Mike Flanagan is reimagining the iconic story for a new generation. After her father's sudden death, Carrie White enters public school for the first time and must navigate a viral bullying scandal, the relentless pressure of the social media age, and the awakening of mysterious telekinetic powers that rise alongside her adolescence. You know, the usual. Carrie is a story about how small acts of cruelty snowball into something catastrophic, a theme that feels as painfully relevant today as it did 50 years ago. I feel like maybe even a little bit more because we are all hooked on social media and we all know that can be a terrifying place, but not quite as terrifying as the prom scene. Carrie is now streaming on Prime Video.

• 1:14Speaker 00

  Here's one holiday mystery officially solved: What to get the man in your life? The Old Spice holiday gift pack is that perfect gift that he's actually going to use. It's also a great value, since each ready-to-gift pack includes four, one, two, three, four, honey, full-size products. There's a deodorant, body wash, body spray, and a shampoo. Choose from scents including Swagger's Cedarwood scent and Fiji's Palm Tree and Coconut scent. Old Spice makes holiday shopping easy, leaving more time for building that epic backyard snow fort. I'm obsessed with that. I will absolutely be putting this in Drew's stocking. Buy Old Spice holiday packs for a limited time to give the gift of scent this holiday season.

• 1:58Speaker 01

  Hey weirdos, I'm Ash.

• 1:59Speaker 00

  And I'm Elena.

• 2:00Speaker 01

  And this is Morbid in the 90s at a sleepover.

• 2:19Speaker 00

  It is.

• 2:20Speaker 01

  Period.

• 2:21Speaker 00

  I decided to go with me in the 90s, who was like a 12, 13-year-old.

• 2:26Speaker 01

  I like that.

• 2:27Speaker 00

  Like, who can't do their makeup.

• 2:29Speaker 01

  You keep saying that, but I like it.

• 2:30Speaker 00

  Really goes for like the, like, high contrast shit going on.

• 2:33Speaker 01

  It's very, it's very of the time. I was going for a Pam Anderson eye and a Y2K hair.

• 2:39Speaker 00

  That's, and honestly, you nailed it. You look really pretty.

• 2:42Speaker 01

  Thank you. I think you look pretty.

• 2:43Speaker 00

  You would be a cool girl.

• 2:45Speaker 01

  You look pretty, like, as 12.

• 2:47Speaker 00

  Yeah, like, I look like I'm like...

• 2:48Speaker 01

  You could be on the cover of, like, Tiger Beat.

• 2:50Speaker 00

  Hell, yeah.

• 2:50Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:51Speaker 00

  Or I could be holding a Tiger Beat and pretending I was on the cover.

• 2:54Speaker 01

  That, no, you could be on the cover, for sure. You know?

• 2:56Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 2:57Speaker 01

  But I also did a zigzag part.

• 2:58Speaker 00

  You did, which is really iconic.

• 3:00Speaker 01

  It took me six tries, I think.

• 3:02Speaker 00

  It always took me a lot of tries, so I don't think I ever mastered it.

• 3:06Speaker 01

  The secret, I think, is that you do it tinier than you think.

• 3:09Speaker 00

  Yeah, that's true.

• 3:10Speaker 01

  Yeah, and you really have to keep track of where that hair goes, and then you pinch and you separate.

• 3:13Speaker 00

  Hmm.

• 3:14Speaker 01

  That's, that's that.

• 3:15Speaker 00

  And that's zigzag parts, in case you're wondering.

• 3:18Speaker 01

  Yeah, you know?

• 3:19Speaker 00

  So, these are listener tales, and they're 90s-themed.

• 3:22Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 3:22Speaker 00

  And they're brought to you by you, for you, from you, and all about you.

• 3:26Speaker 01

  I wish it was the 90s again.

• 3:27Speaker 00

  I wish, I say it all the time, I wish I got to experience more of the 90s.

• 3:32Speaker 01

  It was, I know it wasn't like a better time overall, like, I know that, like, the nuance of it all.

• 3:37Speaker 00

  Yeah, I mean, no, no time is that much better.

• 3:38Speaker 01

  The time before the internet, I think, personally, was better.

• 3:42Speaker 00

  Yeah, I think so too, but now you have, like, 11-year-olds doing get readies with me to go to 5th grade.

• 3:47Speaker 01

  Have you guys seen that shit?

• 3:49Speaker 00

  It's so disturbing.

• 3:50Speaker 01

  It's honestly upsetting to me. Like, stop letting your children be on TikTok and, like, not only that.

• 3:55Speaker 00

  Doing get readies with me while they're cracking open an Alani, which is gonna make their heart explode at, like, 7:00 a.m. before school.

• 4:02Speaker 01

  200mg of caffeine in an Alani.

• 4:05Speaker 00

  I question, I am the, I'm a 30-year-old woman, which I still can't get past.

• 4:09Speaker 01

  What did he say?

• 4:11Speaker 00

  I am a 30-year-old married woman.

• 4:13Speaker 01

  He said, "Don't forget you're married."

• 4:14Speaker 00

  Bet you got it, Drew. But I question drinking an Alaina. I'm like...

• 4:19Speaker 01

  You know I do this today?

• 4:20Speaker 00

  You know I've never drank an Alaina?

• 4:22Speaker 01

  Because I'm too scared my heart will explode.

• 4:24Speaker 00

  Here's the thing, don't, because you'll take that risk.

• 4:26Speaker 01

  Yeah, I won't, I'm not gonna do it.

• 4:27Speaker 00

  And of course, like, they're not gonna, like, your heart's not gonna explode.

• 4:29Speaker 01

  Yeah, we're not saying Alaina's are gonna make your heart explode.

• 4:31Speaker 00

  They're not, I drink them.

• 4:32Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 4:32Speaker 00

  But like, I'm just scared of energy drinks.

• 4:35Speaker 01

  In general.

• 4:35Speaker 00

  Drinks freak me out. I'm scared I'm getting, like, heart-pelted.

• 4:38Speaker 01

  Have you ever had an energy drink?

• 4:39Speaker 00

  I've had, I've literally taken, like, a sip of a Red Bull.

• 4:42Speaker 01

  Red Bull.

• 4:43Speaker 00

  Oh, my God.

• 4:44Speaker 01

  But I don't really like the taste of energy drinks. And if I don't like the taste of something, it's why I don't really drink either. If I don't like the taste of something...

• 4:53Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 4:53Speaker 01

  What the fuck is the point?

• 4:55Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 4:55Speaker 01

  My entire thing is, like, I wanna enjoy what I'm ingesting.

• 4:59Speaker 00

  That's why I like a mocktail, to be honest.

• 5:01Speaker 01

  That's the thing, I love a mocktail.

• 5:02Speaker 00

  Because they taste like juice.

• 5:03Speaker 01

  Juice.

• 5:04Speaker 00

  And they don't make me feel yucky.

• 5:06Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 5:06Speaker 00

  And they don't have that weird, like, alcoholic taste.

• 5:09Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 5:10Speaker 00

  You know?

• 5:10Speaker 01

  That's why I used to like schnapps, because I liked the taste of schnapps.

• 5:13Speaker 00

  Yeah, see, that, I'm a Shirley Temple gal.

• 5:15Speaker 01

  I love a Shirley Temple. I also love what a hot commodity it is when either of us orders a Shirley Temple at an event. People are like, "A Shirley Temple? Does it have gin in it?"

• 5:24Speaker 00

  We're like, "No."

• 5:25Speaker 01

  Nobody knows what to do. And I'm like, "Guys, it's yummy."

• 5:28Speaker 00

  It's a fun drink.

• 5:29Speaker 01

  Like, if you haven't had a Shirley Temple, whoa, go get one. And also, if you haven't had one in a while, go get one, I'm telling you. It's nice.

• 5:38Speaker 00

  And you don't have to put gin in it.

• 5:39Speaker 01

  And you won't feel like shit.

• 5:41Speaker 00

  That's true.

• 5:41Speaker 01

  It's nice.

• 5:42Speaker 00

  It's just a Shirley.

• 5:43Speaker 01

  You get to enjoy a pretty little drink that tastes yummy, that doesn't make you feel shitty.

• 5:48Speaker 00

  I don't even know if we acknowledged this, and, like, fooey on us if we didn't, we might've.

• 5:52Speaker 01

  Fooey.

• 5:52Speaker 00

  Fooey. Canada Dry sent us a bunch of their exclusive flavors. This is not a paid ad at all.

• 5:58Speaker 01

  No, it's not.

• 5:59Speaker 00

  You're talking about Shirley Temples. They sent us, like, the cherry fruit splash, and then there was a strawberry-flavored one. The strawberry-flavored one tastes like a Shirley Temple.

• 6:08Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 6:08Speaker 00

  And again, not an ad. They just sent us those, and they were really good.

• 6:11Speaker 01

  Yeah, I didn't even know that they had flavors.

• 6:13Speaker 00

  So, thanks, Canada Dry.

• 6:14Speaker 01

  Yeah, so you could get a Shirley Temple, or you could get one of those.

• 6:17Speaker 00

  Yeah, go for it.

• 6:18Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 6:19Speaker 00

  Um, do you...

• 6:21Speaker 01

  Did he say, "You're funny"?

• 6:22Speaker 00

  He said, "You are funny."

• 6:24Speaker 01

  Oh, my God, Nicholas. I think that, I'm gonna take that, because I feel like he said it to me, and I feel like he never says nice things to me.

• 6:32Speaker 00

  So, can I have that one?

• 6:33Speaker 01

  You can take it.

• 6:34Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 6:35Speaker 01

  Thank you, Nicholas.

• 6:36Speaker 00

  I'm so, I'm elated.

• 6:38Speaker 01

  I love that.

• 6:38Speaker 00

  I'm over the moon.

• 6:39Speaker 01

  Thank you, Nicholas.

• 6:40Speaker 00

  What if he literally said, "Not"?

• 6:41Speaker 01

  Not, not you.

• 6:43Speaker 00

  Not you, bitch. You are not the one.

• 6:47Speaker 01

  Also, on the book tour, we met so many people that were so pro-Nikolas.

• 6:52Speaker 00

  I'm starting to believe that the people who are not are bots.

• 6:55Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 6:56Speaker 00

  You're bots.

• 6:56Speaker 01

  I think you're fake, if you don't like Nicholas.

• 6:59Speaker 00

  I think the Nicholas lovers outweigh the Nicholas haters.

• 7:03Speaker 01

  Wasn't there a Nicholas shirt that said, like, "Justice for Nicholas" or something like that?

• 7:06Speaker 00

  No, it was, it was a justice for someone from the book.

• 7:10Speaker 01

  Oh, okay. We won't spoil it, because I did spoil it at the New York event. Sorry if you were there. I'm still, I'm embarrassed to this day. You know, when you wake up at 3:00 a.m. thinking about things, I'm like, "Sorry, I spoiled that."

• 7:21Speaker 00

  That was hilarious.

• 7:22Speaker 01

  It's rough.

• 7:24Speaker 00

  All right, I feel like you always read the first one.

• 7:26Speaker 01

  I'll read the first one.

• 7:27Speaker 00

  Do it, girl.

• 7:27Speaker 01

  Let's go.

• 7:29Speaker 00

  All right, let me make sure I'm speaking into the mic here.

• 7:31Speaker 01

  Speak into it.

• 7:32Speaker 00

  This one's called "A Dreamy Discovery Listener Tale."

• 7:35Speaker 01

  Ooh.

• 7:36Speaker 00

  "You are more than permitted to use my name, and all names in this story, as I'm just a real-ass bitch and keep things authentic. I already love you. I started listening to you gorgeous ladies a few months ago and have literally not turned back." There's something, you should turn back and look behind you, make sure nothing's there.

• 7:54Speaker 01

  Turn around.

• 7:56Speaker 00

  "There's something about the both of you that is so damn comforting to me."

• 8:00Speaker 01

  Thanks.

• 8:00Speaker 00

  "I don't know if it's your love for all things spooky, the dark humor, I love it, your authenticity, love for F-bombs, or just the fact that y'all are boss-ass bitches, but you guys are my literal soul sisters. I love you."

• 8:13Speaker 01

  We just became best friends.

• 8:14Speaker 00

  We did, and I love you so much. I love you so much. What did he say?

• 8:20Speaker 01

  He always said that, he says that when we get too excited about something.

• 8:23Speaker 00

  He does.

• 8:24Speaker 01

  Nicholas might be Gen Z.

• 8:27Speaker 00

  He's like, "Cringe."

• 8:28Speaker 01

  He's like, "That's cringey, shut up."

• 8:31Speaker 01

  Okay. I'm just kidding, Nicholas. Um, let's see. What if he turns on you? He will never. I love the confidence. He will never. He will never. I know that about Nicholas. She said, I curated this motherfucker. Uh, I drive a solid hour and a half to and from work as a direct support professional for an adult with autism. Oh. And this podcast keeps me fucking going. I also turned my ever stoic, muscular, stone cold tattooed hubby on to you guys. And now we listen together. I love that. That's precious. And now he's gonna hear that you said that and it's gonna give him a little boost. It's true. He's gonna love that. They love a compliment. So let's begin, shall we? We shall. I want to tell you some about the time, not too long ago, actually, where my dreams were helping me to find a long lost childhood

• 9:14Speaker 01

  treasure of mine from my now deceased mother. Stay with me here. And honestly, there's so much more to all of this that I might circle back one day to write more tales. But this one just gives me the gooses. I like that. I love gooses. And please write more other tales. Yeah, all of them. I am the youngest sibling of three and the only girl. I was also born into a very Italian family from a very Italian mother, whose name is Gina. Gina. However, I have super fair skin, blue eyes and blonde hair. Naturally, my older brothers, four years between the middle brother and I, and six years between the oldest brother and I, used to rag on me that I was adopted and seemingly found enjoyment out of watching the life, the life exit my eyeballs as I looked at my parents, specifically my mom,

• 9:58Speaker 01

  who I look just like and contemplated life. How do I look like you if I'm adopted? I would have many conversations with my mom, asking her if I was actually adopted. And she would always laugh and provide, provide me with reassurance that I came from her vege, my words, not hers. Sorry, Mom. She proceeded to tell me that she was going to keep having babies until she had, quote, "her girl." Lo and behold, I was born on a Friday, May 10th, 1991, 90s gal for life. Woo hoo. And my mom got to bring me home on Mother's Day. Oh, that's sick. Oh, that's like gorge. That's awesome. That's beautiful. She told me that I was the best Mother's Day gift she could have ever received. I could cry typing that. Needless to say, as the baby and the only girl in my immediate

• 10:40Speaker 01

  family, my mom and I had such a special relationship. That woman was my entire being and soul. And I like to think that I was hers. You're gonna make me cry. I was gonna, I'm gonna lose it. I was definitely spoiled, but come on, I was her only daughter. Sometimes it's not a bad thing, you know? No. During this time, my mom opened her own preschool called The Lane Day School. I was a year old when she started, but apparently was always in the mix. My great grandmother, AKA me mom, real name Mildred, and my grandmother, AKA Noni, or is it Noni? Yeah, it's Noni. That's Italian. Real name Joy. I love that. Lived in a very neat and definitely very haunted home in which my mom, little by little, began turning into said preschool. Eventually,

• 11:22Speaker 01

  my me mom and Noni relocated to a new home, very willingly. And my mom converted their old house into a fully licensed preschool. I attended The Lane Day School during my preschool years and was a fucking terror. Hashtag separation anxiety from my mom. What did he say? I don't like it. He said, I don't like that you were a terror in preschool. Have hashtag separation anxiety from my mom. Oh, been there. I've had it. My kids have it. Spoiler, she was always in the same fucking building, but I would cry my little eyes out on a daily basis for her. Oh. Anyway, The Lane Day School became such a significant part of me and my brother's lives due to how much time we spent there. As we became elementary age, we would carpool

• 12:06Speaker 01

  with a family friend who would pick us up from our local Catholic school and take us to our mom's school, where we would do our homework, raid the pantry for snacks, and help my mom with little odds and ends of closing the place up. That's adorable. I know. I love that. I loved being there, despite the eerie feeling I would get when walking up the stairs from the dark creepy basement to the main floor. I always felt like someone was behind me. Not necessarily anything bad, but scary enough that I would haul fucking ass up those steps so fast that nine times out of 10, my legs would give out and I would trip and fall, only to spring right the fuck back up, like on my two feet, and continue hauling ass until I was in the clear. I don't know. There was something slash, someone slash others in that place, but from the other side, I swear. As I got

• 12:49Speaker 01

  older, I learned from my mom and my Noni that they used to wear, they used to hear what sounded like women talking and clinking glasses from the basement. I'm obsessed with that. I love that. Uh, no fucking thank you. I mean, You're not obsessed with that. I mean, they sound lovely. Perhaps having a little ghostly tea party, but I'll take a rain check, ladies. I would totally haunt my basement somewhere and just have a tea party down there. Just clinking glasses. Fuck, yeah. Of Shirley Temp. Yeah, yes. Yeah, Shirley Teas. Because of the significance of the school building had on my whole family, due mostly to my mom building a damn empire from the ground up. Hell, yeah, mama. We not only spent a lot of time there to help my mom, but we would also have our birthday parties there. It was perfect. Spacious, kid friendly, sans the tea party ghosts in

• 13:32Speaker 01

  the basement, a playground, and a lot of land to just be kids and have fun. On my fourth birthday, we were there celebrating, and my mom, dad, brothers and party guests led me to the garage for my birthday surprise. I remember walking in and seeing the most gorge 90 battery powered Barbie Lamborghini with a big bow on it. Iconic. I'm so jealous. Iconic. For any 90s ladies or gents listening, if you know, you know, the Barbie Lambo was the actual tits. I wanted one of those so bad and I never got one. I'm surprised. I didn't get one. I always wanted the Barbie Jeep. That was big when I was little. I also wanted that, but that Lambo. I never got any of the Barbie cars.

• 14:17Speaker 01

  You want to hear about it? It had a fucking car phone that you could pick up and fucking chat with Barbie on. It's really cool. And had the most 90s color scheme going on. See attached photos. Oh, I'm so excited. I fucking loved that car. And I loved it even more because it was from my mom. Oh. I can remember riding the Barbie Lambo here and there at my childhood home, but the last I ever recalled seeing it was at my mom's school. He said, back off my Barbie Lambo. Fast forward a bit, my parents eventually sold The Lane Day School and a big piece of our childhood, but it was time and we were all okay with it. I was about 16 years old, so my mind was on teenage life and making questionable decisions. Happens. My mom ended up selling the building to someone we knew, so it wasn't too far

• 15:01Speaker 01

  gone. In October 2017, I gave birth to my first child, my son Jay. My little guy had a tough start with a heart condition and an 86 day stay at our local children's hospital. Oh, my God. Damn. But he pulled through and we were finally able to bring him home for the very first time on January 10th, 2018. Oh. During those 86 days, my mom only missed one day to come and sit with me and my son while we battled with heart medications, several cardio versions, a brain bleed and premature lung disease, amongst many other health ailments that my little dude plowed through like a champ he is. That woman pulled me through more than I can even put into

• 15:44Speaker 01

  words, all while beginning to, quote, "deal with the signs of pancreatic cancer unbeknownst to all of us." Without giving all the fucking devastating details, my mom passed away on January 15th, 2021, not from cancer, but from fucking COVID. Oh, my God. That pisses me off. I'm so sorry. I'm so mad for you. It was a life altering moment for me, my son, my husband and my unborn child, whom I was seven months pregnant with and was a girl. The girl that was to be my mom's very first granddaughter. Oh, that just gave me chills. God damn. On March 11th, 2021, almost exactly two months after losing my mom, my second child, my daughter Ella. I love that. That's such a pretty name.

• 16:28Speaker 01

  Was born. Little did I know this little girl was going to heal me in ways I didn't know I could heal. Specifically speaking to losing my mom, handing down little bits of your childhood to your children is healing in and of itself. I did it with my son and could do it even easier with my daughter, since we were both females. Soon enough, I began thinking back to my Barbie Lamborghini and its whereabouts, and the dreams started. Hmm. I began incessantly asking my brothers and my dad where we thought that car was, which no one had answers to. My dad told me it was stored at my brother's house. That brother told me he last saw it at my mom's school. The other brother told me he had no idea. We weren't getting far. In the meantime, I enrolled little Ella into daycare. Where would she be going, you ask? To the new owner of my mom's old school. Oh, that's so special.

• 17:13Speaker 01

  That's awesome. I was not able to send Jay there because he left his 86 day stay at the hospital when he was a baby with, um, moderate to severe bilateral sensor nuriel hearing loss. Wow. Oh, my God. And was enrolled in the early learning program at our local school for the deaf when he was 18 months old. If you ever want to be mind blown, come watch my six year old fluently bilingual and spoke in English and ASL, but that's a story for a different day. That's so badass. That's incredible. I took ASL in college and it was, it's hard. I, I ended up like not being able to continue. How incredible is that? Six year old being completely fluent. In both. That's wild. The kid is fucking unreal and amazing. And I swear, he's a little earth angel. Like I said, maybe next tale because my boy sees some shit.

• 17:59Speaker 01

  Anywho, my daughter attended what was now called Learning Lane, where the new owner was smitten with the idea of life coming full circle. And my daughter now attending the same school I attended as a little girl. That's so cool. Sadly enough, though, two years later, the new owner decided to sell the building and Learning Lane was no more. But the dreams. I'm a little afraid, Nicholas. Because the dreams. Because she said the dreams. The dreams. I would say they started around the time I enrolled my daughter at the school, which is eerie when you think about it. Sometimes the dreams would just be me walking around the building, but exactly as I was when I was a little girl. Other dreams, I would be in that same creepy basement, but every single special childhood item of mine would be down there. And I would be rummaging through said items, looking for something. But exactly

• 18:43Speaker 01

  what I was looking for in the dreams was unknown. Soon enough, the dreams were happening almost nightly, specifically when the new owner announced to all of us parents about her selling the school and closing down. I got the sense that my dreams that, uh, I got the sense from my dreams that they were trying to tell me something. And each time I woke, I wanted to go back. The dreams soon enough started talking, taking me to the two sheds on the property of the school, the same two sheds built by my dad when my parents started the business back in 1991. There were times I would walk into one of the sheds and it would be empty. Then other times I'd walk to the other shed, but it would be locked and I couldn't get in.

• 19:32Speaker 00

  Nearly 50 years after Stephen King's Carrie became a cultural phenomenon, Mike Flanagan is reimagining the iconic story for a new generation. After her father's sudden death, Carrie White enters public school for the first time and must navigate a viral bullying scandal, the relentless pressure of the social media age, and the awakening of mysterious telekinetic powers that rise alongside her adolescence. You know, the usual. Carrie is a story about how small acts of cruelty snowball into something catastrophic, a theme that feels as painfully relevant today as it did 50 years ago. I feel like maybe even a little bit more because we are all hooked on social media and we all know that can be a terrifying place, but not quite as terrifying as the prom scene. Carrie is now streaming on Prime Video.

• 20:17Speaker 00

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• 21:01Speaker 00

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• 21:44Speaker 00

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• 22:10Speaker 01

  In the same timeframe of those dreams becoming more and more persistent, the school building itself landed itself a for-sale sign on the front lawn and a new buyer purchased the building. About a week or so later, one of my friends, who knew of my connection to the school building, texted me a Facebook post. It's important to note, I was not on Facebook at this time. So if it wasn't for my friend, I would have never known anything. The post was the new building's owner's secretary holding essentially a garage sale for all the items left behind from the previous school's owner. It was noted in the post that the owner essentially shut the doors and left behind most everything. The post proceeded to give an announcement that that upcoming Friday and Saturday, between the hours of 12 and 4, people were allowed to come walk through the building

• 22:55Speaker 01

  and buy what was left before they gutted the entire building to turn it into the new owner's living space and realtor office. I figured, hey, why not? That'll be fun. I called my grandmother, remember, the very first tenant, along with my great-grandmother. Asked if she wanted to join me. And that Friday afternoon, I picked up my Nana and we made our way to the school. When I first walked in, everything seemed to be as same as when I last saw it from bringing Ella to school when she attended. The building smelled like pencils, crayons, and bleach, with a little hint of an appley smell. Very specific, I know. Eventually, I got to talking to the woman who organized the whole garage sale and told her of our family's history with the building. Her mind was blown and she pretty much said, go look wherever you want in here. So I did. Something was pulling me to go into the basement. So I told my grandmother where I was going

• 23:40Speaker 01

  and I made my way down the very steps. I used to haul my ass up to get away from the tea party old lady ghosts, who were probably actually very nice. Lo and behold, the fucking lights for the basement didn't work.

• 23:50Speaker 00

  Oh, no.

• 23:51Speaker 01

  So I whipped out my phone and used the flashlight and began walking through the cold, dark, but very full basement. When I say I felt like I entered a time machine and went back 29 years, I shit you not, I felt like I was back in time. As I'm typing this, my entire body is full of goosebumps and my hair is standing straight up. It's weird, though. The fear I used to feel from the basement as a child was gone and I was on a mission to look through every piece of my childhood history that I could find. Soon enough, I came across an old classroom and mounds of old papers with my mom's handwriting on them.

• 24:24Speaker 00

  Oh, that's so special.

• 24:25Speaker 01

  Old classroom newsletters, class crafts and projects, staff newsletters, all folders, in folders labeled with my mom's writing.

• 24:33Speaker 00

  Wow.

• 24:34Speaker 01

  I love that. Even old photos of previous students. It was wild. I felt like I stepped back in time and I could not stop looking through all these items, trying to find anything I could relating back to my mom. I don't know how long I was in that basement, but soon enough, I emerged in somewhat of a daze. I found my Nani with a handful of items she was ready to bring with her and we were about to say our goodbyes so that the garage sale lady, to the nice garage sale lady, when something quite literally screamed at me to ask about the two sheds. So I did. I first asked about the larger shed, to which the woman said there was not much in there, mainly old chairs and lawn equipment. Defeated, I said, ah, damn, okay. To which she said, is there something specific you're looking for? The words, I used to have a Barbie Lam

• 25:19Speaker 01

  were all I could get out of my mouth before the woman smiled, grabbed a set of keys and said, I think I have something to show you. When I say I shit myself, I didn't actually, but I wanted to. So I followed the woman down the drive to the old dilapidated blue shed. As soon as she turned the key to unlock and open it, she warned me she might be totally wrong in thinking she knew what I was about looking for. But as she opened those two squeaky, splintering doors, my heart fell out of my asshole. There, leaning vertically in the left corner of that shed was my fucking Barbie Lamborghini from 29 years ago.

• 25:53Speaker 00

  How cool is that?

• 25:54Speaker 01

  I began sobbing, then trying to explain why I felt so strongly about this piece of plastic sitting in this shed covered with nests, spiders, and dirt. My Nani was sobbing. When I was finally able to tell the woman.

• 26:07Speaker 00

  Did he say, I don't?

• 26:08Speaker 01

  You can't understand. That's weird, because she's basically saying you can't understand, like, the significance of this.

• 26:14Speaker 00

  He's like, you don't even know.

• 26:15Speaker 01

  He's like, you can't even understand. And this was her dream. That first shed had basically nothing in it and the second shed was like chocolate black, but locked.

• 26:23Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 26:24Speaker 01

  It was such a moment I could relive it a million times. I asked the woman what she wanted for it and through tears, she said, I don't want money, take it. That day, it hit me why I had so many dreams of the school building. Something, someone, was trying to lead me to this very place to find the one thing that was tormenting me that I thought had been lost all those years. I took the car home that day and began cleaning it up for my little Ella. That Christmas, the Barbie Lambo sat in our living room with a big bow on it for her, as if it had been presented to me 29 years before for my fourth birthday. What a fucking moment as a mommy.

• 26:59Speaker 00

  That's next level.

• 27:00Speaker 01

  I'm shook by this. I like to.

• 27:04Speaker 01

  We're just doing our job, man.

• 27:06Speaker 00

  This is morbid.

• 27:07Speaker 01

  Welcome. I like to think my mom knew how much I was trying to hold on to as much.

• 27:13Speaker 00

  Always.

• 27:14Speaker 01

  Always.

• 27:15Speaker 00

  He's like, you're always doing listener tales. It's always morbid.

• 27:18Speaker 01

  I'm always here for listener tales.

• 27:20Speaker 00

  I know, we don't bring you up for anything else.

• 27:22Speaker 01

  I know, I would love to. Maybe we will.

• 27:28Speaker 01

  I like to think my mom knew how.

• 27:30Speaker 00

  Energy?

• 27:32Speaker 01

  All right. Are we giving you a lot of energy or are we taking it?

• 27:35Speaker 00

  He was doing the like Beyonce, like, energy.

• 27:38Speaker 01

  I like to think my mom knew how much I was trying to hold on to as much as I possibly could of her and was using my dreams to direct me. Or perhaps it was the lovely old tea party ghost lady trying to help a sister out.

• 27:49Speaker 00

  Maybe both.

• 27:50Speaker 01

  Whatever it was, I've not dreamt of the school building since that very day when I finally found that Barbie Lambo. Now, it sits nice and snug in my garage and both of my kids like to tear it up and down the street while I quite literally fill it with warmth, watching them enjoy something I did as a child and creating memories for them just as my mom did for me.

• 28:10Speaker 00

  You're gonna kill me.

• 28:11Speaker 01

  Please enjoy the attached photos of my sweet family, my mama, and an oldie but goodie of me in the Barbie Lambo the very night I got it, with a current photo of my daughter in it just last winter. Thank you both for always keeping it weird, but not so weird that your old ghostly lady self resides in the basement of a preschool and has tea parties with other ghostly old ladies who then help this very same girl they used to scare the shit of out of find her long-lost childhood Barbie Lamborghini Power Wheels car to help her cope with the grief of losing her mom, who in fact ends up being the very woman who used to run the school building and hear those ghost tea parties. Me too. Phew. I love you both, you spooky bitches. With the most love, Lori.

• 28:51Speaker 00

  Oh, Lori, that was like the sweetest. Oh, my god.

• 28:55Speaker 01

  Barbie Lambo.

• 28:56Speaker 00

  Look at that thing, it's tricked out.

• 28:58Speaker 01

  What a badass car.

• 29:00Speaker 00

  Look at your 90s outfit.

• 29:01Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 29:02Speaker 00

  Oh, my god, and you like souped it up for her. You're, oh, my god.

• 29:05Speaker 01

  Also, you and your daughter could be twins in those photos. That's crazy.

• 29:09Speaker 00

  Oh, and there it is, like stacked against the shed.

• 29:11Speaker 01

  That's crazy.

• 29:12Speaker 00

  I love this.

• 29:14Speaker 01

  Oh, look at your family.

• 29:15Speaker 00

  You're all adorable.

• 29:16Speaker 01

  Oh, my gosh.

• 29:18Speaker 00

  Stop it.

• 29:19Speaker 01

  Oh, mama.

• 29:21Speaker 00

  That was such a heartwarming story.

• 29:24Speaker 01

  You know what, too? I know that feeling of like being able to share something that you loved when you were little with your kids because I had these, like, what are they, big wheels?

• 29:34Speaker 00

  Oh, yeah.

• 29:35Speaker 01

  And I got to give one of, my dad had bought one more for one of my other kids and then they both will big-wheel it down, still big-wheel it down the driveway.

• 29:46Speaker 00

  Yep.

• 29:46Speaker 01

  And it's hilarious to see them big-wheeling it in 2026.

• 29:50Speaker 00

  I know.

• 29:50Speaker 01

  Because it has the little thing you pull that like makes you spin.

• 29:53Speaker 00

  I love that.

• 29:54Speaker 01

  So you would big-wheel like crazy and then you pulled that and you go.

• 29:57Speaker 00

  Just like skirt.

• 29:58Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 29:58Speaker 00

  Skirt.

• 29:59Speaker 01

  That's the original skirt.

• 30:00Speaker 00

  Skirt.

• 30:01Speaker 01

  They have loved those things.

• 30:13Speaker 00

  Nicholas, nobody's butt is on the table. Hello? buttocks on the table? Is your buttocks on the table?

• 30:29Speaker 00

  My feet are on the table. buttocks on the table. That'd be a good band name. We are buttocks on the table.

• 30:38Speaker 01

  I just love how proper that is.

• 30:40Speaker 00

  buttocks.

• 30:40Speaker 01

  buttocks on.

• 30:41Speaker 00

  I wish it was, he said upon buttocks upon the table.

• 30:46Speaker 01

  Nicholas, I love you.

• 30:47Speaker 00

  Our next tale is I met a murderer.

• 30:50Speaker 01

  Hey.

• 30:50Speaker 00

  And we changed a couple of names just in case. So it starts with, I am not a long time listener, but found you in January of twenty twenty two, which like now you kind of are a long time listener.

• 31:00Speaker 01

  Yeah, you really are.

• 31:02Speaker 00

  It's gonna be twenty twenty seven.

• 31:04Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 31:04Speaker 00

  Fuck.

• 31:05Speaker 01

  I know.

• 31:06Speaker 00

  Well, that's when I realized I needed something to entertain myself at work. I love spooky things. True crime, Criminal Minds, Mindhunter, et cetera.

• 31:13Speaker 01

  R I P Mindhunter.

• 31:14Speaker 00

  Bring it back. So I decided I needed more of this in my life while typing away on a computer and attempting to drown out all the crazy things going on in the office. Lucky for me, I stumbled on you lovely ladies and I was hooked right away due to the way that you explain your cases. Linear is the best and your lighthearted banter and dark humor. The more content I listened to, the more I loved it. The first few episodes I listened to was the four part series on Albert Fish. Wow.

• 31:37Speaker 01

  You really dove headfirst in.

• 31:39Speaker 00

  Yeah, that was a choice.

• 31:41Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 31:41Speaker 00

  In addition to having my mind blown by that series, I found myself laughing out loud and wanting to join in on your conversations since you could use Gilmore Girls as a reference point.

• 31:50Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 31:50Speaker 00

  Quote, hocus pocus, Buffy, proud rewatcher as well. You inspired me to begin watching True Blood.

• 31:55Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 31:56Speaker 00

  Everybody should watch True Blood.

• 31:57Speaker 01

  Love that.

• 31:57Speaker 00

  And Boy Meets World, just to name a few.

• 31:59Speaker 01

  Underpants.

• 32:00Speaker 00

  Underpants.

• 32:03Speaker 00

  Also, you are the only other humans I have ever heard reference top that from Teen Witch.

• 32:08Speaker 01

  Oh, my god, yes.

• 32:08Speaker 00

  And I couldn't believe my ears the first time I heard the reference.

• 32:11Speaker 01

  Top that.

• 32:12Speaker 00

  Top that. I'm hot.

• 32:14Speaker 01

  You're not.

• 32:16Speaker 00

  I get those TikToks all the time. After my fifth or sixth listener tale episode, I was thinking to myself, why hasn't anything weird or spooky happened to me that I could send in? There was that time my friend and I played with the Ouija board during a sleepover and we chatted with a ghost girl who was friendly, but also thought it would be fun to turn on her C D player and rearrange her Beanie Babies.

• 32:35Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 32:36Speaker 00

  But that's not exciting.

• 32:37Speaker 01

  That's, I don't know.

• 32:39Speaker 00

  That's pretty exciting to me.

• 32:41Speaker 00

  Well, then there was the episode about I met a murderer and it hit me, my summer encounter with Luke.

• 32:47Speaker 01

  Luke, you say.

• 32:48Speaker 00

  To give my story.

• 32:49Speaker 01

  I'm not stripping everybody. I have a T shirt under this. I'm just hot.

• 32:52Speaker 00

  Thank you for telling us.

• 32:52Speaker 01

  Yeah, I just wanted to let everybody know that I wasn't being weird in the corner.

• 32:55Speaker 00

  That was so abrupt. What, what are you addressing right now? I'm not, not, I'm not about that. To give my story a little context, let me explain that I was born in a sleepy mountain town in North Carolina, where I lived happily until I was ten years old and my mom and stepdad dragged us six hours north to Nowheresville, Southeast Ohio, to his hometown and his family.

• 33:17Speaker 01

  That stinks.

• 33:17Speaker 00

  Since I was desperately homesick for my uncle, who has since transitioned, I'm only explaining that as it's contextually necessary for understanding how it could be that my uncle had a female roommate from the military. Every summer after that move to Ohio, I made a habit of going to my granny's house every summer vacation. My uncle had been in the military and when discharged, brought home with them a roommate and a good friend. Let's call her Lynn.

• 33:38Speaker 01

  Lynn.

• 33:39Speaker 00

  I instantly liked Lynn and thought she was super fun. She was a Korean American, adopted and had a sense of humor, a love of horror movies and was really good at braiding hair.

• 33:48Speaker 01

  Lynn sounds awesome.

• 33:50Speaker 00

  He said, why is she here?

• 33:52Speaker 01

  Damn.

• 33:52Speaker 00

  I'm like, Lynn is here because she's super good at braiding hair and she's fun and you can watch horror movies with her.

• 33:57Speaker 01

  I like horror movies.

• 33:57Speaker 00

  Lynn lived with us for a while before I was dragged to B F E I Ohio, but eventually moved out. When I say us, it was me, my mom, my stepdad, my uncle and my granny, all at granny's house.

• 34:07Speaker 01

  Damn.

• 34:08Speaker 00

  An odd Brady Bunch, if you will.

• 34:09Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 34:09Speaker 00

  The summer when I was fourteen, I was visiting granny like usual. While she was at work along with my uncle, I lived the teenage dream. I watched T V, I ate too much, slept too much, sunbathed and spent time helping her on the house. Lynn, as she had eventually gotten her own place, would often come by on her days off and take me out to lunch, shopping or to the movies. This was, of course, back in the late nineties when it didn't cost a week's paycheck to do all of those things in one day.

• 34:33Speaker 01

  I was gonna say, you could easily do this.

• 34:34Speaker 00

  Yeah, it's fucking crazy how much things cost right now. One fateful morning, Lynn arrived to pick me up unannounced, no texts, no call, just a knock at the door and hey kid, get ready, let's do something. Ah, the nineties.

• 34:46Speaker 01

  It was the nineties.

• 34:47Speaker 00

  The nineties. Uh, and I was super excited to get out of the house. Did he just say stop?

• 34:53Speaker 01

  Shop.

• 34:54Speaker 00

  Shop. Oh, yeah. You wanna shop, Nicholas?

• 34:57Speaker 01

  They're doing.

• 34:57Speaker 00

  Yeah. We hopped in her pickup truck and set out on the interstate, headed for the nearest mall, which was about a thirty minute drive. While walking through the food court, I would literally kill somebody for the teriyaki chicken at the food court.

• 35:10Speaker 01

  The Bourbon Street Chicken?

• 35:11Speaker 00

  Yes, that's what I'm talking about.

• 35:12Speaker 01

  That's what I make. That's the Bourbon Chicken that I make.

• 35:16Speaker 00

  I won't kill all of you for it, I promise.

• 35:18Speaker 01

  Not all of us.

• 35:19Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 35:20Speaker 01

  No, I took that as Nicholas being like, not all of us want that.

• 35:25Speaker 01

  Like Nicholas feels like the type to be like, not all of us, but Nicholas.

• 35:28Speaker 00

  My buttocks may be on this, on the table, but.

• 35:30Speaker 01

  But has he enjoyed food court food?

• 35:33Speaker 00

  I don't think he knows this, so I think he's like, ugh. I took the girls to the mall the other day and I was so tempted to be like, do you wanna eat this food court food? But then I was like, can I feed her kids food court food?

• 35:43Speaker 01

  Are they ready yet?

• 35:43Speaker 00

  I don't know.

• 35:44Speaker 01

  I haven't yet.

• 35:45Speaker 00

  I had a feeling you hadn't yet had. I already gave one soda accidentally. I don't need to, I don't need to get crazier. And she never lets me forget it. She's like, remember that time when you gave me soda? I'm like, I gave you a sip. And then your mom looked at me like she was gonna wring my neck. Alright? So I didn't take them to the food court. No, uh, so walking through the food court, Lynn recognized someone and stopped to say hi. He had long hair, a flannel shirt on top of a T shirt, cargo pants and sneakers. Grungy looking, but cool. Kurt Cobain, I have a story kind of way.

• 36:15Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 36:15Speaker 00

  However, her acquaintance Luke didn't recall her name and couldn't place her at all. His buddies even said, look at her inkman, that always helps. She showed him her tattoos and he still didn't seem to recognize her. So we said, okay, have a great day. Enjoy your Orange Julius. We're on our way.

• 36:30Speaker 01

  Orange Julius.

• 36:31Speaker 00

  I would also fight somebody for Orange Julius.

• 36:32Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 36:33Speaker 00

  About five minutes later, her friend Luke caught up with us. Now let me explain how she knew Luke. I absolutely loved Lynn and while she was an awesome person and one of my favorite adults when I was young, she had a lot of struggles mentally and emotionally. Several months prior to heading to granny's for the summer, Lynn had been in a relationship with a man who she thought was her forever person. Unfortunately, they broke up. She took it really hard, so much so that she was actually admitted into a hospital for intensive therapy.

• 36:59Speaker 01

  That's awful.

• 37:00Speaker 00

  That's sad. But I'm glad she got past it.

• 37:01Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 37:02Speaker 00

  And like healed. Now this is where she knew Luke from. She had seen him at group therapy and thought he was there for substance abuse at the absolute worst, which I'm assuming is why she thought it was safe to say hi to him while in charge of me, a fourteen year old.

• 37:15Speaker 00

  Nicholas is nervous.

• 37:16Speaker 01

  Yeah, he's like, I don't know about this Luke guy.

• 37:18Speaker 00

  Well, Luke walked around the mall with us while we did the usual nineties mall things. We told him we were headed to another mall across town, fifteen minutes by highway. Two malls, one day. I don't even know if I've done that, dog. Uh, if he wanted to come and get something to eat with us, he could. He said, sure. So we headed to her car. Oh, my god.

• 37:37Speaker 01

  Uh oh.

• 37:37Speaker 00

  Back in the tiny pickup truck, I had to ride in the middle, quite cozy with both Lynn and Luke. The trip was uneventful for the most part. Thank god.

• 37:44Speaker 01

  Then hopefully.

• 37:45Speaker 00

  Hopefully uneventful. I thought Luke was fairly quiet, but we had the windows down on the highway, making it super loud in the cab of the truck, which made it hard to talk anyway. Uh, as I knew the windows would be down for the highway trip, I made sure I had a hairbrush. I had placed it on the dashboard of the truck and it almost slid off and right out the window. But Luke caught my brush for me and saved me from the ultimate embarrassment of windblown hair at the next location.

• 38:08Speaker 01

  Wow, Luke.

• 38:09Speaker 00

  I thought to myself, well, he must be nice. Murderers do not catch hairbrushes.

• 38:13Speaker 01

  That's a motto to live by.

• 38:15Speaker 00

  It's valid.

• 38:15Speaker 01

  Murderers don't catch hairbrushes.

• 38:18Speaker 00

  No, never.

• 38:18Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 38:19Speaker 00

  After some more shopping and getting a quick lunch, Luke asked if we could take him back to the first mall to meet up with his ride. We dropped him off.

• 38:25Speaker 01

  Can I interrupt you really quick? I just thought of the, is it the Wayside School? Like vampires don't wear polka dots?

• 38:30Speaker 00

  Oh, my god.

• 38:31Speaker 01

  That's a, that's the unreleased book, murderers don't catch hairbrushes.

• 38:36Speaker 00

  That's actually so funny that you brought that up. That's the first book that I read when I moved into Man Poppa's house.

• 38:42Speaker 01

  Cause I had that book.

• 38:43Speaker 00

  I, I was literally fifteen. I didn't have any of my own books and I looked through your old bookshelf and everything was either too scary or like, I don't even know. And I said, I guess we'll read this little like kids book.

• 38:54Speaker 01

  I used to, I think it's the Wayside School. I'm pretty sure.

• 38:58Speaker 00

  Is it that or is it the Boxcar Children?

• 39:00Speaker 01

  No, the Boxcar Children is like a whole series. That's actually hilarious.

• 39:05Speaker 00

  You had all of those.

• 39:07Speaker 01

  I did. I had all those. What did he say?

• 39:10Speaker 00

  Dangerous.

• 39:11Speaker 01

  He said Dangerous.

• 39:11Speaker 00

  The Boxcar Children was like a whole series about like literal children who lived in a boxcar of a train. Oh, I only said that because I just remembered that you had it.

• 39:18Speaker 01

  I thought it was the Boxcar Children.

• 39:20Speaker 00

  What is it?

• 39:21Speaker 01

  I think it's the Wayside School.

• 39:23Speaker 00

  The Bailey School Kids.

• 39:24Speaker 01

  There you go.

• 39:25Speaker 00

  That's what it was. I knew it was.

• 39:26Speaker 01

  He's just an idiotic.

• 39:28Speaker 00

  I think he might be turning on you.

• 39:30Speaker 01

  Nicholas, we listen and we don't judge. Okay? I don't know what you're reading, but we're in a fight.

• 39:38Speaker 00

  I thought you said this would never happen.

• 39:40Speaker 01

  No, I did. I said he never turn on me. I didn't say we'd never get in a fight.

• 39:43Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 39:44Speaker 01

  That's part of any relationship. Okay?

• 39:45Speaker 00

  It is.

• 39:46Speaker 01

  Um, yeah, the adventures of the Bailey School. That's why I confused it like Wayside.

• 39:52Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah. I mean, it's very similar.

• 39:54Speaker 01

  Yeah, there was the Bailey School, uh, like series had the coolest shit.

• 40:00Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 40:00Speaker 01

  I'm trying to remember some.

• 40:01Speaker 00

  You had a lot of them.

• 40:02Speaker 01

  Dragons don't cook pizza. Frankenstein doesn't pet plant petunias. Ghost don't eat potato chips. Murderers don't catch hairbrushes.

• 40:10Speaker 00

  Yeah, it could fit right in.

• 40:12Speaker 01

  I think it's the unreleased one.

• 40:13Speaker 00

  Maybe.

• 40:13Speaker 01

  Release it.

• 40:14Speaker 00

  Release it.

• 40:26Speaker 00

  The Hulu original series Phony is coming to Hulu and Hulu on Disney Plus October 20th. Sunny's life is pretty great until he wakes up from a car accident to a world that looks exactly like his with one exception, his mom. Starring five-time Emmy nominee Connie Britton and Sam Nivola, this small town is hiding the mother of all mysteries just beneath the surface. Watch the Hulu original series Phony on October 20th. Streaming on Hulu and Hulu on Disney Plus for bundle subscribers. Terms apply.

• 40:57Speaker 00

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• 41:40Speaker 00

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• 42:24Speaker 00

  Head to statefarm.com to get a quote. Prices are based on rating plans that vary by state. Coverage options are selected by the customer. Availability, amount of discounts and savings, and eligibility vary by state.

• 42:41Speaker 00

  Well, we dropped him off. We headed back to Granny's house, where Lynn dropped me off. I thanked her, enjoyed my purchases from the candy store, and didn't think much of the day. Uh oh. Until... I'm very worried. I'm nervous. A few days later, I was chilling at Granny's house, per usual. She'd just gotten home from work and was reading the paper while I watched TV in the living room. Not sure why, but something made me look in her direction. And just as she was adjusting her newspaper, the front page came into perfect view. At first, it was just recognition. Then, my whole body seemed to start tangling. That's called a wom. Yep. Wom. Then, something washed over me. It felt like when you open the deep freeze and blast yourself in the summer, but with nausea. My cheeks started to feel really hot as I read the headline by the photo that I recognized.

• 43:25Speaker 00

  Two men arrested, mother and child killed on Parkway. Oh. I studied the photo as long as I could without being obvious. And finally, I said, Granny, can I have that paper when you're finished? She peered over the newspaper at me and said, oh, do you want the horoscopes or the comics? That woman knew me so well. She was surprised when my response was, actually, this article on the front? This photo looks familiar. So casual, like I wasn't trying to regulate my fight or flight at that moment and sounds super casual in my interest about the murder article. She looked perplexed and said, oh, I'm sure you haven't, darlin'. He was in the mental hospital, and now he's murdered a young woman and her son. She said dismissively, you're probably right, Granny, I replied, trying to hide my absolute

• 44:06Speaker 00

  certainty that I did in fact see Luke just days before and was trying to figure out if I needed to call the local police or FBI and how I would ever explain this to my mother. Oh, man. It just so happened, that very same day, my uncle and Lynn had been together. I can't remember exactly why, but I want to say it was for a favor involving Lynn's pickup truck and something heavy. When I heard them pull in, I grabbed the newspaper and met them at the door. I didn't want to say anything in the event that I was really wrong, and that was not my new friend Luke, grunge guy and hairbrush rescuer. I handed the newspaper to Lynn, and she immediately recognized the photo, stared at it, and then back at me, then opened the paper and started reading the article. Then, we had to explain to my uncle what the hell this meant and why we were rendered

• 44:51Speaker 00

  basically speechless. The article made it clear that Luke and his accomplice were in custody, so we did not need to contact the police and share our adventure. Well, that's good. I was worried. I was like, ah. The location of the crime was not near where we had traveled with him. And if the timeline was accurate, we were with him prior to this crime being committed. That's almost scary. That's really scary. I couldn't stop thinking about it all summer. Dislike. And while I wanted to tell someone, my uncle made it clear my mother would freak the fuck out. Oh, my god. So, we all decided to keep it to ourselves. No, you can't have a kid keep a secret. Secrets are no fun. It would have been such a good story to share on the first day of ninth grade. Way better than my usual summer vacation stories. Yep. But to make sure I never let it slip out, I basically buried the experience.

• 45:35Speaker 00

  It was actually several years later, until even my uncle brought it up at all. There was a fly. A fly. A fly just flew into my face.

• 45:47Speaker 00

  That was wild. It was like, it was like one of those fruit flies. I was like, get out of here.

• 45:53Speaker 00

  Anyways, la, la, la. It wasn't actually, it was actually several years later. And he said, look for me. Are you a fly? I literally just said, it's probably Nicholas. Look for me. That's almost a little ominous, though. That's actually really ominous, Nicholas, but I'll look for you. Yeah, we will. I'll go with it. We look for you everywhere. We do. Until my uncle... Say, I remember you.

• 46:19Speaker 00

  We remember you, Nicholas. Nicholas, what's up? What's going on? What's going on? Tell us more. Tell us everything. Tell us about yourself, Nicholas. So, the uncle took a long time to bring it up. So, for a very long time, I really did forget this experience ever happened to me. Damn. I will lose my literal mind if you ever pick my story to share, and I will have to squeal and jump up and down at my desk, which I'm sure will not please any of my coworkers or my supervisors. Tell them to get the fuck over it. Yeah, tell them to foff. I have linked some articles about where Luke is now in the original story I saw in the local paper. I've also attached some photos of me, my family, and my pets, because I know you just love cute kids and small animal pictures. Keep it weird, but not to where you spend the day shopping with a murderer, and maybe

• 47:02Speaker 00

  don't introduce a 14-year-old to somebody who you met at a mental hospital during group, who is now just chilling in the mall, looking like Kurt Cobain.

• 47:09Speaker 00

  You know that is valid. Damn. And I think those are links to the... Those are the... Oh, my god, your cat. And on a six. Blanket. You have great taste. You do. Oh, you do? Oh, my god. Look at that face. You guys know how to get us. Buffy. And a steak. Another puppy. Is that a puggle? That kind of looks like bubba. Is that a puggle? That definitely is a puggle. For sure.

• 47:38Speaker 00

  That's, I knew it was, I knew it was Mr. Pointy. Oh, shit. That's cool. Oh, and look at your family. This is the second Disney photo we've received. I know. What are you guys doing to me? What are you guys doing to me? I want to go back to Disney so bad. There's Luke. There's Luke. There's you, I think. Oh, and you're at Black Craft. Yeah.

• 47:57Speaker 00

  Say, what is it?

• 47:58Speaker 01

  It said message.

• 47:59Speaker 00

  Message. Do you have a message in a bottle? Okay.

• 48:04Speaker 00

  Huh. That's weird. He's like, read your message, Aiden. Message in a bottle. This next headline is insane.

• 48:13Speaker 00

  What? Okay. The time a Christmas elf prevented an abduction. Period. Period. Period. Hello, ladies. Hi. First of all, you two are absolutely amazing, and I truly love your show. Thank you. The only regret is that I just discovered your show, but at least it means I have a large backlog of shows to binge. We have like 800 episodes. There's a lot there. Right now, I'm up to early 2020, and I'm not going to lie, my heart is breaking because you two are so excited about your upcoming live shows. And I know the world is about to shut down. I'm excited to hear what happens, and I really hope you were able to reschedule all of your live shows, because you two are a gift to the world. Thank you so much for that. We didn't reschedule even one of them. So, thank you. And our management is like, you sure that you don't want to tell her? They were like, wow, that sucked.

• 48:58Speaker 00

  Anyways, I really hope you are still doing listener tales. We are. Hey. Here we are. But if not, hopefully this tale at least entertains you. It will. My name is Steve. Feel free to use my real name. What's up, Steve? And back in high school, I was a total theater geek. Me, too. Can you try? You can say Steve. Nicholas is like, can I try what you guys are doing? Yeah, I can do it better. Maybe he wants to go for it. Give it a try. So, you were a total theater geek. So was I. As well, every Christmas, I would dye my hair half-red and half-green, because I fucking love the holidays. I love that. One of my fellow students' parents hired myself to play an elf at their Christmas

• 49:39Speaker 00

  party and my drama teacher to play Santa, since he was a jolly, large man. Absolutely iconic. They even rented me a costume, and it was a ton of fun. The party ended late, and I was driving home, and around midnight, through the affluent part of town, there were literally no other cars on the road, which in retrospect should have triggered my spidey sense, but whatever. I was a young, dumb kid. I was stopped at a red light when I heard a blood, or I heard blood-curdling screams. I looked over to my left, and I see a man literally dragging a woman by her hair across the street to a car parked on the other side of the street. Oh, my god. As I like to say back then, I have a divine sense of justice and ass-kicking, so I ran the red light. You have no idea how much it killed me to break the wall like that.

• 50:23Speaker 01

  Over to help this woman. Thankfully, my parents had given me a cellphone for emergencies. It was the late nineties, so I called nine one one.

• 50:33Speaker 00

  We're not gonna leave you.

• 50:35Speaker 01

  And I started honking my horn like mad. I pulled up behind the waiting car as he had already made it there and was shoving her into the backseat.

• 50:41Speaker 00

  Oh, my god.

• 50:42Speaker 01

  You're a badass for doing this, by the way.

• 50:44Speaker 00

  For real.

• 50:45Speaker 01

  I turned on my bright, my brights and continued honking my horn. He stared at me with pure hatred and looked like he was about to come for me. Luckily, I don't think he could see me clearly because I have never been a big person. I think I was around five, two or three at this time, and he could have easily beaten me to a pulp. In my memory, he was a beast of a man, but in reality, he was probably pretty average.

• 51:06Speaker 00

  I bet he was below average.

• 51:07Speaker 01

  Yeah, fate was on my side and he instead threw her out of the car and sped off.

• 51:12Speaker 00

  Oh, my god.

• 51:12Speaker 01

  I got out of my, out to check on her and she seemed physically okay, but was obviously shaken up. At this point, the dispatcher told my, uh, me, police were on their way and to sit tight. I tried my best to comfort her, but one, she just had a very traumatic experience with a male, so she probably didn't want to be around a strange male. And two, I'm still dressed like an elf, so she was probably thinking I'm completely nuts and mentally unstable. Spoiler alert, I was and still am.

• 51:38Speaker 00

  Can you imagine? Like, you're such a good Samaritan, but imagine as a woman going through this.

• 51:43Speaker 01

  And then a man dressed as an elf. It's just like, you're okay. I'd be like, I'm not.

• 51:48Speaker 00

  Don't touch me.

• 51:49Speaker 01

  I'm not okay.

• 51:50Speaker 00

  No, please.

• 51:51Speaker 01

  But you're a very amazing person for this.

• 51:54Speaker 00

  Did he say, I'm a turtle? Or a turtle? He tr- I thought he said, I'm a turtle.

• 52:03Speaker 01

  That feels like a ghost lyric.

• 52:04Speaker 00

  I was literally just gonna say that to Tobias.

• 52:07Speaker 01

  Yeah. I was like, alright, Nicholas. Uh, first of all, you're amazing for doing this. And second of all, you're amazing for being so self-aware, to know that she probably was uncomfortable.

• 52:18Speaker 00

  And to like, read the situation.

• 52:19Speaker 01

  Something a lot of people wouldn't be aware of. Um, and I love the, I was and still am mentally unstable. This entire time, not a single car passes by, but I did see a man coming up the hill towards us, pushing a shopping cart. At this point, my adrenaline is fully pumping, so I put myself between her and the guy. Oh, he's very clearly on drugs and he comes up to me and says, do you like crack?

• 52:47Speaker 00

  You are dressed like an elf, which like, it's a choice. So, he just wanted to include even Santa's helpers.

• 52:58Speaker 00

  Do you like crack?

• 52:59Speaker 01

  I don't know, maybe this guy isn't.

• 53:01Speaker 00

  He said, he said, you kinda look like you're on crack.

• 53:07Speaker 00

  He's just, he said, I see you.

• 53:12Speaker 00

  Also, his hair is half red and half green. The crack in me sees the crack.

• 53:20Speaker 00

  The crack in me sees the crack in you.

• 53:24Speaker 01

  Oh, or nor.

• 53:28Speaker 00

  We're gonna get flagged on YouTube. I'm screaming.

• 53:32Speaker 01

  I love completely not expecting that, but it seemed pretty on par with the evening, looking back. I simply say, no.

• 53:44Speaker 00

  No.

• 53:45Speaker 01

  Do you like crack?

• 53:46Speaker 00

  No.

• 53:50Speaker 01

  I'm literally crying. My makeup, my nineties makeup is gonna be literally everywhere.

• 53:55Speaker 00

  I was just thinking that.

• 53:56Speaker 01

  I have straight up tears running down my face.

• 53:58Speaker 00

  I smoked this out, too.

• 54:00Speaker 01

  Oh, my god.

• 54:01Speaker 00

  Oh, man.

• 54:02Speaker 01

  I'm gonna look like I just watched Romeo and Juliet, the Baz Luhrmann version, in that I know I can't ever be with Leonardo DiCaprio.

• 54:09Speaker 00

  Oh, a heartbreak for all of us right now.

• 54:13Speaker 01

  Oh, okay. So I simply said, no. He then smiles broadly and says, I shit you not. Well, I do.

• 54:21Speaker 00

  Good. He was just striking up a conversation. He said, like, he said, icebreakers. Do you like crack? I love it.

• 54:30Speaker 00

  You have to get to know each other.

• 54:31Speaker 01

  He found something out about you, you found something out about him. At this point, I see police lights in the distance speeding towards us.

• 54:40Speaker 00

  Also, this poor woman, an elf, um, attempted abduction and then somebody on crack.

• 54:46Speaker 01

  And the guy saw the lights and says, oops, gotta go.

• 54:51Speaker 01

  And runs off with his shopping cart into the night.

• 54:54Speaker 00

  I wish him the very best. I wish him the very best. I hope.

• 54:59Speaker 01

  Oops, gotta go.

• 55:00Speaker 00

  I hope, I hope he's slipping.

• 55:02Speaker 01

  Oh, my god. The police show up and not unexpectedly, they seemed extremely skeptical of me and I can't blame them. After questioning, uh, not surprisingly, she knew the asshole who tried to kidnap her. Oh, yeah. One other detail, being winter in Arizona, it was a little chilly. So as the adrenaline started wearing off and I was starting to feel cold, I told police I was going to get my jacket out of the car. They kept their lights shined on me and in my car the whole time. And I pull out my classic black emo trench coat that all the cool kids had at the time. Blame the Matrix. I'm quite positive the whole aesthetic of elf with multicolor hair and the black trench coat totally made me seem super legit incredible.

• 55:42Speaker 00

  Even just trying to picture that, imagine, my head is hard to conjure.

• 55:47Speaker 01

  Yeah, even Nicholas doesn't know. For reference, I ended up becoming a physician, so even weirder kids can grow up to be professionals. Though I never fully grew up, but I'm still a weird kid at heart. You are amazing, Steve.

• 55:58Speaker 00

  We love you, Steve.

• 55:59Speaker 01

  The police escorted her away and I was free to go. I don't know what ended up happening to the woman sadly, but I really hope she's safe, healthy and thriving.

• 56:06Speaker 00

  I can tell you one thing, that woman thinks of you every week, at least.

• 56:10Speaker 01

  And I, I love that. Anyways, that's my tale. Sorry for the length, but I hope it was entertaining.

• 56:15Speaker 00

  It was.

• 56:15Speaker 01

  Keep it weird, but not so weird that you end up trying to kidnap a girl, but you have to get stopped by some punk kid dressed as an elf and then hesitate, but decide to run away like the little bitch you are. And then a crack-filled stranger comes up and stresses you out further when you are already full of adrenaline and then the cops think you're super suspicious because you look like some weird emo Christmas conglomeration. Don't keep it that weird. Thanks so much for your time.

• 56:37Speaker 00

  I think you might need to keep it that weird, to be honest with you.

• 56:41Speaker 01

  I haven't cried that much.

• 56:43Speaker 00

  That was a good one.

• 56:44Speaker 01

  In a long time.

• 56:45Speaker 00

  That was a good one. Just picturing that whole story felt like I was on drugs.

• 56:50Speaker 01

  The visuals that came along with that story were like top notch.

• 56:53Speaker 00

  Top notch.

• 56:54Speaker 01

  Top fucking notch. All right, one more.

• 56:56Speaker 00

  Oh, Steve. Yeah. Tale, and the next tale is the tale, tale as old as time.

• 57:03Speaker 01

  You sounded like you were starting the Midnight Society. Tale of the grinning, whatever.

• 57:09Speaker 00

  Yeah, tale of the traveling Ouija board.

• 57:11Speaker 01

  There you go.

• 57:12Speaker 00

  Hey, Ash and Alina.

• 57:13Speaker 01

  Hi.

• 57:13Speaker 00

  Hi. First off, I just wanna say you absolutely have permission to use my name. Hell, yeah. It's Amanda.

• 57:18Speaker 01

  Amanda.

• 57:19Speaker 00

  Amanda. And I'm a huge fan. I've been listening to you guys religiously since last year. I loved the podcast so much that I actually went all the way back to the very beginning, even the episodes where it sounded like you were recording underwater.

• 57:30Speaker 01

  You're a real one.

• 57:31Speaker 00

  You are. Honestly, it's still amazing to listen to.

• 57:33Speaker 01

  Oh, thank you.

• 57:34Speaker 00

  Sometimes I think about the fact that my children someday will listen to early episodes of Morbid and that I was 22 at the time we recorded them, and it does make me wanna drown myself.

• 57:43Speaker 01

  Yeah. I mean, the, the evolution is nice, though, for both of us, I think.

• 57:47Speaker 00

  Yeah, I think so.

• 57:48Speaker 01

  It's a nice little growth.

• 57:49Speaker 00

  Yeah, there's lots of growth, lots of growth. The pipeline from 22 to 30.

• 57:55Speaker 01

  And even probably thirty to forty.

• 57:58Speaker 00

  You go, oh, thirty?

• 58:00Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 58:00Speaker 00

  I don't know shit. I think I know a little bit more than the beginning of this, though.

• 58:04Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah. But then you're gonna be forty and you're gonna say, I didn't know shit.

• 58:07Speaker 00

  Oh, man.

• 58:08Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's nuts.

• 58:09Speaker 00

  Well, a quick little side note before I get into my story. Ash, both of my kids actually had the exact same due date and it just so happens to be your, your birthday, today. We love a Gemini. My son ended up being eight di- eight days late.

• 58:20Speaker 01

  Eight days late.

• 58:26Speaker 00

  My daughter was four days late. Gemini's, Gemini's, Gemini's. They're seven years apart, but still both my little Geminis. Meanwhile, I was born later in June.

• 58:35Speaker 01

  Did he say fun?

• 58:38Speaker 00

  Father. Is your father a Gemini, Nicholas? I think my father is a Pisces. Yours isn't a Gemini either.

• 58:45Speaker 01

  No, mine is a.

• 58:47Speaker 00

  Technically, he's a Pisces, but I kind of consider him an Aries.

• 58:50Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 58:51Speaker 00

  Anyways, meanwhile, I was born later in June, so I'm a Cancer. If you actually end up reading this, I'll probably shit my pants. Don't worry, though, I'll have a change of underwear ready.

• 58:57Speaker 01

  Good change.

• 58:58Speaker 00

  Okay, now let's get into my story about the time my parents bought my sister and I a Ouija board for Christmas.

• 59:03Speaker 01

  Those are cool parents.

• 59:05Speaker 00

  I was 11 years old and I was, and my sister was nine. The Christmas, my mom and dad bought it for us. Looking back now, I honestly don't know what possessed them to buy it. Maybe they just thought it was a harmless board game.

• 59:15Speaker 01

  It was cool then.

• 59:16Speaker 00

  Yeah. Maybe they didn't really believe in that kind of stuff, or maybe they figured we would play with it once and forget about it like we did with half of our other toys.

• 59:23Speaker 01

  That's probably what they thought, actually.

• 59:25Speaker 00

  But we didn't forget.

• 59:26Speaker 01

  No.

• 59:27Speaker 00

  I still remember tearing the wrapping paper off the box. The board inside looked mysterious, a black background, faded letters, numbers, yes, no, and a word at the bottom that would eventually haunt me. Goodbye.

• 59:38Speaker 01

  Goodbye.

• 59:39Speaker 00

  The planchette was light plastic, heart-shaped, with a small window in the center. It didn't look scary. That was the problem. That night, after the house was quiet and our parents were watching TV downstairs, my sister and I dragged it into our bedroom. We shared a room back then, two twin beds pushed against opposite walls, a narrow window between them, and a closet door that never shut properly. I feel that's called foreshadowing. It always sat slightly open, just enough to make you stare at it a little too long at night. We turned off the main light and left only the small bedside lamp on. The glow made the room feel secret and important. We sat cross-legged on the floor, fingertips barely touching the planchette.

• 1:00:18Speaker 00

  Guest? Yes. I knew he, he's like, this sounds scary. He's like, I'm terrified. I'm terrified. Terrified. Is anyone here? My sister, my sister whispered, nothing. We looked at each other and tried not to laugh. You're pushing it, I said. I'm not, she shot back. That's the classic conversation you have when you get a Ouija board. It was moving slowly, smoothly, not like a jerk from somebody nudging it. It glided. We go, we both gasped and instinctively tried to pull our hands away, but we didn't. Instead, we leaned in closer. Yeah. That was the first mistake. For weeks after that, the board became our nightly ritual. You two are awesome. I also feel like you're probably not closing the door, which is like not good, like the, You're not saying goodbye. The portal. Yeah. We would rush through homework at, and dinner just to get back to our room and ask more questions.

• 1:01:04Speaker 00

  At first it was harmless stuff. What grade would we get in math? Would we get a dog? Would we ever meet a celebrity? But then we started asking bigger questions. Is there someone here with us? Are you dead? What's your name? Sometimes it was random letters. Sometimes it moved in circles. Sometimes it stopped abruptly on goodbye before we were finished. Hmm. We told ourselves it was our imaginations. Until the house changed. It started subtly. Footsteps in the hallway when everyone was downstairs. The sound of pacing back and forth outside of our bedroom door after midnight. Huh. My dad would check and find nothing. He'd shrug it off as the furnace or the pipes, but furnaces don't walk. That is something really against his argument. Yeah. I would say. Furnaces are famous for not walking. They famously don't walk.

• 1:01:50Speaker 00

  Then came the shadows. Oh. You'd catch something move at the corner of your eye, a shape slipping past the doorway, a flicker crossing the wall, but then you turn your head and nothing was there. That happens to us in this house all the time. That. Especially in the kitchen. That has started happening to me in my house and the shadow is in the kitchen. Yeah. Uh, uh, so that's fun. Yeah. I, the last night I kept seeing something out of the corner of my eye in that like back room. Yep. Like walking into that back room. That's what we always get. We'll be sitting, watching TV and both of us will like turn to look over because we. Hide. Hide, yeah. Honestly.

• 1:02:26Speaker 01

  We bite.

• 1:02:27Speaker 00

  Bite. Bite. Okay. Hate that more. Uh, that's somehow worse. Uh, but, but both of us look over and we always think it's one of the girls coming down. And we'll always look at each other and be like, did you see something? And he's like, yep, I hate that. And it's always something coming from the hallway into the kitchen and just like walking through. And we always think it's one of the girls. I've seen that in your house before at night. And it's so clear in my periphery. Yeah. I like how you say that periphery. Periphery. I like that. Yeah. Thank you. You're welcome. I, I feel like nobody ever says that. They always just say my peripheral. Yeah. You're fancy. Thank you. And the feeling, the constant crawling feeling that you were not alone, even when you were. One afternoon, I was in my room by myself, playing with my toys. The house was completely quiet. My sister was outside. My parents were at work.

• 1:03:11Speaker 00

  Side note, the nineties were wild, just leaving your kids home alone. They sure were. Haha, out of nowhere. My alarm clock started blasting music. I hate that. Not softly, full volume. I jumped so hard, I knocked over the toy in my hand. The strange part? My alarm clock wasn't plugged into the wall.

• 1:03:30Speaker 00

  No. That's not. Ew, I have chilies, like gross chilies. I stared at it from across the room, my heart hammering. Uh, the cord was wrapped neatly behind it, not even close to an outlet. I tried to think logically. All right, maybe it has batteries. I walked over slowly, each step feeling heavier than the last. Picked it up, flipped it over. No batteries. No batteries. No, God. I was just gonna say it. No batteries. There wasn't even a compartment for them. The music stopped on its own a few seconds later. The silence afterward was worse than the noise. I stood there frozen goosebumps covering every inch of my arms, feeling like something invisible had just looked me straight in the face and smiled. Oh. I didn't tell my parents. I didn't even tell my sister right away.

• 1:04:14Speaker 00

  Saying it out loud would make it real. But then there was the doll. Oh. Don't leave. Totally. He's like on scared now. He said, sit down for this. My sister had this doll she loved, the kind with plastic eyelids that open when upright and close when you lay them down. I fucking hate those things. She carried it everywhere, or so I assumed, because it kept showing up in different spots around the house, sitting upright on the couch, propped against the hallway wall, one sitting at the kitchen table as if it was placed there to watch. Hate it. Every time I mentioned it, my sister would say she must've just forgotten she left it there. And I believed her until one night.

• 1:04:50Speaker 00

  She, he say, I told him? I told him. He's like, I told him. I told, he told Adam. Yeah, he told Adam that. I don't know. What'd you tell Adam? What did you tell Adam?

• 1:04:59Speaker 00

  Let us know. Write in. I don't know what woke me up. Maybe it was a noise, maybe it was the heavy feeling in the room again, but my eyes opened suddenly. I looked across the dark room toward my sister's bed. The only light came from the moon through the window and I shit you not, her doll was lying on its side beside her pillow, but its eyes were wide open. Not halfway, not flickering, wide open, staring directly at me. I hate that so much. You know what that, that moment is? Shit, your pants. Shit, shit, your pants. Here we go. Shit. Your pants. Shit, shit, your pants. Get out. Leave. My chest. Leave. Get out.

• 1:05:43Speaker 00

  My chest tightened so fast. I thought I would scream, but no sound came out. That's the worst. I would die. I just lay there staring back at it. Those dolls close their eyes when they're horizontal. Sure do. That's how they're made. Yep. But this one was not closed. It felt intentional, like it knew I was awake. Oh. I pulled my blanket over my head and did not move until the next morning. The next day, when the sun made everything seem stupid and harmless again, I picked up the doll and lay it on its side. Its eyes slid shut immediately.

• 1:06:12Speaker 01

  She's not here.

• 1:06:13Speaker 00

  She's not here. No. She, oh my God, she's not here because the eyes actually shut this time. Yeah, she's gone. Blah. I felt sick because I knew what I had seen. The atmosphere in our house grew even heavier after that. Even my parents started mentioning strange things. My mom said she heard someone call her name when no one was home. My dad said tools in the garage would be moved from where he left them. Nobody connected it out loud, but my sister and I knew. This is so ominous. It really is. Eventually my parents decided we were moving to Alberta, Canada. A fresh start, a new job opportunity, a new house. We were leaving Manitoba behind. As we cleaned out the house before the move, we found the Ouija board tossed behind our toy bin. Neither of us had touched it in weeks. It felt wrong to even look at it.

• 1:06:56Speaker 00

  Without saying much, my mom decided to throw it in the trash, not packed, not donated, thrown away. Eek. I think that's how you're supposed to do that. Probably not. Uh, we drove all the way back to Alberta's boxes, Alberta's, I just.

• 1:07:11Speaker 00

  We drove all the way back to Alberta. Boxes, I was like looking at boxes and stacked, so it just became Alberta's. Boxes stacked in the U-Haul, saying goodbye to everything familiar. The new house felt lighter at first. I don't like that you said at first. It was empty, clean, but within days, the same feeling crept back in. Shadows, soft footsteps, that presence. Damn. That reminds me of Paranormal Activity, like the one that's playing now. It's like, uh, places aren't haunted, people are. I hate that. That play is so good. It's so good. It's still fucking me up. Yep. We blamed it on stress, on adjusting, on imagination. Finally, after days of unpacking, there was only one box left. My dad sliced it open and believe it or not, sitting right on the very top was the Ouija board.

• 1:07:56Speaker 00

  But you threw it away. Like it had been carefully placed there. The same scratches on the corner of the box, the same bent edge, the one my mom threw in the trash in Manitoba. No one spoke. My mom went pale. My sister immediately looked at me. My dad just stared at all of us in disbelief, wondering who packed it when my mom clearly told them she threw it away. But we hadn't packed it. Nobody did. We saw my mom throw it in the garbage, but somehow it had traveled over a thousand kilometers with us from Manitoba to Alberta. To Alberta's. To Alberta's. All the way. All the way to Alberta's, like it had chosen to follow. Oh. That was the moment I felt true fear.

• 1:08:39Speaker 00

  Not the kind where you jump and laugh afterward, not the kind you can explain away, the kind that settles into your bones. We never touched it again. Oh my God. We did, and we did end up moving again to a nice, beautiful home. We cleansed the fuck out of it and nothing quote unquote crazy happened in that home. I don't know who got rid of it or how. I don't know where it ended up, but I know this. When I say I will never use a Ouija board again, I mean it, because some things aren't games, except maybe Naked Twister in the shower. Honey, honey, you're getting crazy in these streets. He was literally doing the same one. He didn't said what? But I'm sorry, what? He said, that's, that's silly, girl. Damn.

• 1:09:18Speaker 00

  What did he say? That didn't happen.

• 1:09:20Speaker 01

  When did it happen?

• 1:09:23Speaker 00

  He said, one didn't happen. When did you play Naked Twister in the shower? Also, would you play closed Twister? He said, I need a timeline. Oh shit. Naked Twister in the shower could probably kill you. Yeah. Be very careful. Uh, well, that's my story. I really do hope you both enjoyed it. Sorry if it was a little wishy washy. Change whatever you need to. And thanks again for potentially taking the time to read it. Holy shit. I am so terrified by that. I literally can't handle it. I'm shook if. I hate that a lot. I hate that a whole lot. My, oh my, you people are fucked. Keep them coming. Yeah, I love these. You know where to send them. [email protected]. Deb Deb will find it if you're lucky. It's true. Well.

• 1:10:08Speaker 00

  We hope you keep listening. And we hope you. Keep it weird. But not as weird as any of the stories here, or you know, maybe do keep it that weird, because if you keep it that weird, then we might read it on the podcast. Yeah, don't. Barbie Lamborghini though. Barbie Lamborghini for sure. And Elf. And Elf. Yeah. Yeah. Definitely do that. Don't do crack. Bye.

• 1:11:42Speaker 02

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