The One Thing Missing From Your Relationships

What if you could deepen your relationships and heal old wounds with just ten minutes a week? In this episode, I’m sharing a simple practice I use with my son to capture meaningful moments, express my love, and create videos that he can look back on for the rest of his life. I’ll teach you how to use this practice to build deeper connections, embrace vulnerability, and leave the people you love with a lasting reminder of how much they mean to you. Freedom Live is a 3-day live experience in Austin designed to help you break through what’s keeping you from your next level. Get $100 off your ticket: https://robdial.short.gy/freedomlive The Mindset Mentor™ podcast is designed for anyone desiring motivation, direction, and focus in life. Past guests of The Mindset Mentor include Tony Robbins, Matthew McConaughey, Jay Shetty, Andrew Huberman, Lewis Howes, Gregg Braden, Rich Roll, and Dr. Steven Gundry. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See https://pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

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  Welcome to today's episode of the Mindset Mentor Podcast. I am your host, Rob Dial. If you have not yet done so, hit that subscribe button so you never miss another podcast episode. And if you want to finish this year strong, join my free three-day challenge, October 27th to 29th, live with me. Here's why. Because most people check out around this time of year. They look at their goals that they've set, they see how far away they are, and then tell themselves that they'll start over again in January. Don't do that. There's still enough time for you to make real progress this year. You just have to use it. Over these three days, I'm going to teach you how to deprogram and reprogram your identity, how to start taking real action, and also how to start changing your brain to the new you. You're going to get a 60-day roadmap for the rest of 2026 and a workbook, so you know exactly what you need to focus on next.

• 2:32Speaker 01

  To join for free, go to finish2026strong.com. Once again, finish2026strong.com, and I'll see you live on the challenge. Today, I want to talk about a practice that might change every single relationship that you have. I want to share something that I've been doing recently, and I truly believe it's one of the most healing things that I've ever done for me, but also for my son as well. It takes like 10 minutes a week. All you need is your phone, and I'm going to show you exactly how to do it and how it changes depending on how old your kid is, if you're talking to your kids, whether they're two, whether they're 16, whether they're 45. And I'm going to teach you how to use it. I'm going to show you exactly how I use it with my son, but this is an incredible tool to deepen any relationship that you actually want to deepen or heal a relationship that might be broken.

• 3:16Speaker 01

  So let's get into it, okay? So my son is growing really fast, like really, really fast. And every time I look at photos of him on my phone, I'm seeing a different child in front of me than I'm actually seeing in those photos. And every single week, I notice these little moments with my son, these little funny things that he does, these quirks that he has. Something that he did, something that he said, something that he taught me without even knowing that he was teaching me something. Something that he accidentally brought up within myself that I realized that I need to heal. And I wanted to capture these moments, and I wanted to talk to him about it. I want him to be an adult later on in life, and I want him to really deeply know about his childhood, not just see some photos on my iPhone.

• 4:01Speaker 01

  And I also really want him to know how I feel about him, because I feel like a lot of parents don't really tell their children how much they actually care for them. And so I tried journaling. I'd sit down with a pen, and I would start writing things down. But to be honest with you, like my hand could not move fast enough. Like I would lose half of what I wanted to say to him before it actually got on the page. And then I realized, I was like, dude, I speak better than I write. That's literally my job. So one day, I was like, you know what? All I'm going to do is I'm just going to pick up my phone, and I'm just going to talk to my phone, I'm going to hit record, and I'm going to talk to him. And I was talking directly to the camera, like he was sitting right across from me.

• 4:43Speaker 01

  And now what I've actually decided to do is every single week, once a week, I sit down and I make a short video for my son, and I save it into a very specific folder on my phone, and then I just go about my day. And one day, I don't know when this day is going to be, I'm going to hand him over this giant collection of videos. His dad talking directly to him, week after week after week of his entire life. And I'm going to tell him things like, he's the biggest blessing that I've ever had. I tell him things like how happy I am that his soul chose mine. I tell him how he is, without him even knowing it,

• 5:26Speaker 01

  he is healing parts of me that I didn't know were broken. He is healing my inner child, and I let him know just how much I love and appreciate him. And I cannot wait to give it to him when he gets older. It's been something that's been life-changing for me just to do, and I haven't even given it to him yet, to like actually start to fully open up, to fully be vulnerable. But now it's something that I've actually started to look forward to every single week. And this practice isn't just a gift for your kids. You can use this in any relationship, really. Like you can use it in a relationship with your husband, your wife, your parents. You can use it in a relationship with your best friends, with your sister, whoever it might be.

• 6:11Speaker 01

  Because what I have found is that it's sometimes really hard for us to fully, truly open up to somebody when they're right in front of us, because we've learned to protect, we've learned not to be vulnerable. But once you start talking to the camera, and you do it over and over again, it starts becoming really easy to open up like you never have before. And it's not just a gift for the other person. This is like medicine for you, like this will actually heal you. And believe me, no matter how old your children are, you will develop a deeper connection with them. And I'll tell you this, every single person on earth wishes that they also had a deeper relationship with their parents. Every single one of them, even if you have a great relationship with your parents. But most people don't have a really, really good relationship with their parents.

• 6:55Speaker 01

  So I promise you this, whether it's you sending a message to your mom or your mom, you sending a message to your daughter, I want you to try to start doing this. And so I've created a simple process. I don't want you to be rigid in this, but I just gave you a simple process for you to be able to do it. And I truly hope that it deepens your connection with your child or your sister or your mom, and especially for your children. I really, really want you to develop a deep relationship with them, no matter how old they are, whether they're two or whether they're 45, okay? So let me dive into it. Let's talk about real quick just how to set up. There's just really three simple rules that I came up with after doing this over and over and over again. Make it the same time every single week, like that's rule number one. Just have it be part of your morning coffee on Sunday.

• 7:39Speaker 01

  You just get your coffee, you go into the other room while it's still quiet, and for five minutes or for 10 minutes, you just talk to your child, and you tell them about what happened this week and all of that. And I'll tell you what to talk about as well. But I don't want this to be something that you force onto yourself. That's not the point of this. But what I have found, if it's not scheduled, you can forget it for a few weeks. And so for me, it's Sunday while I'm drinking my coffee, when I can just look back on the entire week, everything that he did, everything that made me laugh, the weird words that he's saying and all of that. And I just put it in my calendar like it's a meeting, because to be fully honest with you, it is the most important meeting that you'll have all week long. So that's the first thing, just schedule that for the same time every week. Number two, don't script it, don't re-record it.

• 8:24Speaker 01

  Just be as authentic as you possibly can. Don't try to make it perfect. You're going to want to try to make it perfect. Don't. Your kid in the future, whenever they see this, they don't want a polished speech. They don't want you to not say ums and uhs. They want you. And we will be right back. I used to take a whole bunch A bunch of different supplements every day. And honestly, it was a lot to keep track of. Since starting IM8, I've simplified my routine so much. I just have one daily drink and I'm done. The problem with supplements is you think you need a cabinet full of them to feel your best, but you don't. IM8 is the way to simplify your supplement routine once and for all. IM8's Daily Ultimate Essentials has 16 supplements,

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• 11:55Speaker 01

  And now, back to the show. Like the pauses, the ums, the tears, the feelings, the thoughts, the deeper meaning that you're trying to get into in the moment. The moment where your like, voice cracks. Like the true, real, authentic you is what they want. And that's the part that they're gonna replay when they're 30 years old, if they're a kid right now. The part where you can see you're deep in thought and you're thinking about something and your voice cracks a little bit. That's number two. Rule number three is to save it somewhere safe. This is the reason why I do it on my phone, is because, well, first off, phones break and phones get lost, but I have it in a folder in my iCloud, so it's backed up, so it's gonna be there forever. You're building something that's going to outlive you. So you wanna treat it that way. And you don't wanna put it on a tape recorder

• 12:40Speaker 01

  and hope the tape recorder lasts for the next 30 years. Okay, so that's the, the, the simple rules of it. Now, once you hit record, what do you actually say? And so, there's three things that I kind of go off of and I say every single time and I work off of, okay? I don't want you sitting there and saying, "Well, hey buddy." And trying to do it. Like I do, I, I, once again, I do want you to be authentic. I do want it to be a free flow of thoughts. But let me help you just give a tiny bit of structure to it, because I've found that the structure actually makes it easier to, to free flow if you do it the right way, okay? And so, there's basically three things. And I want you just to hit all three of them every single week.

• 13:22Speaker 01

  Number one, what they did this week that impressed you? And be really specific on this. Like, I don't want you to say, "Oh my gosh, you did such a good job." Or, "You're so smart." Or, "You're such a good boy." Like, those are, those are fine and those are good. Those aren't wrong. But it doesn't tell them what you actually saw in them. They want stories. They want to hear about their life. When they're 35 years old, they wanna hear about something that they did today when they were five. And they're 35 years old now. 30 years ago, they can hear about what happened. They wanna hear the stories. So instead of saying something like, "Oh, you were such a good boy, you did really good," whatever it was, you can say something like, "You know what? I watched you fall off your bike on Tuesday, and you got up before I could even get to you."

• 14:07Speaker 01

  Like, I can't tell you how proud I am of you because your training wheels just came off three days ago. Like, that's, do you see the difference? Like, do you see the difference between it? One of them says like, "Hey, you're great, I love you, buddy." The other one says like, "I was paying attention. I was watching you. Here's the details of your life that happened years ago, now that you're watching this video." I, I, I can't imagine if my parents would have done this for me. And I'm not blaming them for not doing it. It just wasn't something that they did. But I would love to hear the details of things that I was doing at three and four and five and 12 years old that I've completely forgotten about decades later. Every kid on the planet is asking the same question underneath everything.

• 14:51Speaker 01

  And that, really, that question is, "Do you see me?" And so, in this first part, we're answering it. "I see you, I see what's going on, I see you doing this." I want you to hear, and I want you to just kinda get an idea of what you were doing in this moment. And also, like I said, allows them to just hear stories that would have been forgotten 20 or 30 years from now, okay? So that's the first part. The second thing that I want you to say, and I really want you to get this, is how they've changed you. If you're a parent, you know that your child is your biggest teacher. You know that they've changed you. If you're doing this parenting thing right, that kid should have changed you because you realize there's parts you need to let go of. And this is something that, this might be the most important part of it, to be honest with you.

• 15:34Speaker 01

  This is something that most kids never know. Like, they have no idea how much they changed their parent. And if you're 40 years old now, your parents might have forgotten ways that you changed them. But if they would have recorded in the moment, you definitely would have known. They, they don't know how much you've changed as a person from being their parent and how much they've helped in that. They think you were always this person. Like, they don't know that before them, you were impatient, or you were selfish, or that you never loved anything as much as you loved this being in your entire life. Tell them. Like, tell them how much they've changed your perspective on everything. Tell them, tell them how much you've, you've healed from being their parent.

• 16:17Speaker 01

  Allow them to see you with your walls down. And this is the thing. If there's anybody in this world who deserves to see you, like the true you, it's your children and probably your spouse as well. And so, allow this process to help you get your walls down over time and teach you to be more vulnerable and more authentic. Like, imagine being 25 years old, like a 25-year-old man, and you found out from your dad in a video that you made him a better man. Like, the man that he's always looked up to says, "You made me a better man." The man that you always thought was Superman when you were a little kid. You thought he was the most powerful man alive.

• 17:02Speaker 01

  And he's making you a video from this moment when you looked up to him the most, and he tells you that you made him a better man. Damn, like, think about that. Like, that one gets me every single time. I want my son to know that. I don't want him to think it. I want him to like, actually know it and hear it from me. Imagine if you did this with your kids. And number three, I want you to let them know what you would want them to know if you're not here. And this is a heavy one. Because hopefully, we're here in 20 years. Hopefully, we're here in 30 years. We might not be. And so, this is a really important one, where if something happened to you tomorrow, what would you want them to know?

• 17:47Speaker 01

  What would you want them to know about how to treat people? What would you want them to know about failure? What would you want them to know about happiness, about success, about money, or whatever? Joy, love? What would you want them to know about how much they were wanted and how much they were loved? Just think about that. What is the thing that you want them to know? Say it like it's the last thing that you get to say, because nobody's really ever guaranteed next week. And so if you just tell them this, it's really good, because if you think about in the future, you could record something today for your five-year-old, and 30 years from now, they could see this video, and they could realize everything that we've talked about so far. 60 years from now, they could show it to their adult children, and you might

• 18:29Speaker 01

  not be here anymore. Like, there's a pretty good chance I won't be here in 60 years, but the video that I make tomorrow on Sunday could be shown to my grandchildren 60 years from today, and they can learn from me, their grandfather, 60 years from now, the way that I view the world, the way that I think, the way I think about love, the way I think about treating people, about who we should be and how we should be. And now, if your children are older, like if your kids are young right now, they're not going to understand most of what you say to them today. And that's really where I got this, is I was looking at my son, and he's young, and I was telling him these deep things, and I realized he wasn't fully, he was getting my energy, but he wasn't fully processing it. And so the things that you tell them today are meant for them later on in life. That's the point.

• 19:12Speaker 01

  You're not talking to a three-year-old right now. You're talking to an 18-year-old who's going to be sitting on their bed one day, pressing play. You're talking to a 30-year-old who just became a parent and is scared out of their minds. And like I said, God forbid something happens to them while you're young, you don't have, they don't have to wonder who you were. They won't have to piece together who you were and make guesses based off of old photos and other people's memories. So like, take it from somebody, me, whose dad died when he was young. I would have loved, like, I can't imagine if I could have something like this for my father, to be able to understand his thoughts, his troubles, his worries, who he was, what his fears were, his successes, his losses, to get to just really know him

• 19:54Speaker 01

  at a deeper level. They'll have hundreds of videos of you, looking right at them, telling them exactly how you feel about them and life and the world, teaching them the things that you know. Like, how amazing would that be? How much would you give to have that from your parents today, what they recorded when you were three, four, five years old? Right? Now, let's say some of your kids are teenagers. Send it to them every single week. Just send it to them in a text message. Save it so they have it later on in life, but send them to it in a text. Don't expect anything back, because you have to understand, teenagers act so cool, or they try so hard to act cool. And it's, if you were to sit down and try to do this face-to-face and tell them, like, I need to tell you how proud of you I am, they might roll their eyes, and before you finish the sentence, try to

• 20:37Speaker 01

  get away, because it's going to be awkward for them. It might be hard to get through to them. But when they're alone in their room, with their headphones on, and nobody's watching, and they get a text message from you, and they watch it, maybe twice, maybe three times, and they save it, and they never tell you, that's okay. The pressure's gone for both of you. There doesn't need to be any pressure. If it's easier to be vulnerable when you're not looking them in the eyes, and they're not right in front of you, then do it. You might get a thumbs up emoji back. That's a win. Take it. Now, if your kids are adults, this one might be another one of the most powerful things that you could do, because a lot of grown adults are still stuck in the past, thinking that their parents think something incorrectly of themselves, still waiting to hear something that they

• 21:20Speaker 01

  never had, like, I'm proud of you, I see you, or I'm sorry, or just say things that you've never said before. And if you weren't the parent that you wish you had been when your children were younger, say that too. Like, I was working all the time, I missed a lot, I was impatient, you were such a good boy, I'm so sorry, and I'm so proud of who you became anyway, despite my faults. Are you fucking kidding me? Could you imagine if you got that from one of your parents? Think about that for your children that are now older. Do you know what it could do for your 35-year-old daughter? Like, think about if your parents sent you a video right now, even if they're dead. Think about that, if they sent you a video right now, telling you everything they wished they had told you. You know how healing that is? Even if you're estranged, and they're away from you, you don't see them off, you don't have the best relationship, open up and tell them. Like,

• 22:05Speaker 01

  you can't go back and change the parent they grew up with, but you can be the parent that you wish you would have been back then, today. And sometimes, that can be the most healing thing for somebody. And so, I really want you to figure out how you can take this practice, and I really just deeply hope that so many of you guys listening will do this. Instead of just listening to it and make it a cool thing to do, like, just send a video today to someone that you love. If you have children, take a video today. If you're driving your car, pull over the side of the road, when you get to the parking lot, park, and just make your very first video for your six-year-old daughter. And then just continue to keep doing this. I really think this is one thing that would heal so many relationships, and it's something that I'm going to do probably forever. So, that's what I got for you for

• 22:48Speaker 01

  today's episode. If you love this episode, once again, like I said, this is exactly what I'm going to be diving into in a much, much, much deeper way, over the course of three days at Freedom Live in Austin, Texas. It is going to be live, in person, Austin, Texas, December 3rd, 4th, and 5th. If you want to learn more about it, you can go to freedomlive2026.com. Once again, freedomlive2026.com. And with that, I'm going to leave you the same way I leave you every single episode. Make it your mission to make somebody else's day better. I appreciate you, and I hope that you have an amazing day.

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