Ep 645 - Pimpology

Support the D. A. W. G. Z. @ patreon.com/MSsecretpod Go See Matt Live in NEW JERSEY & BALTIMORE @ mattmccusker.com/dates Go See Shane Live @ shanemgillis.com Go See Lemaire Lee Live @ https://lemairelee.fun/ hello. Surprise!! Hope you all had a good day. Got your cast for you here. Fambly ep this week. Surrounded by the pepsi generation ... but we keepin' it coke classic pimpin'. Please enjoy. Have a nice rest of your week. God Bless. Visit drinkag1.com/MSSP and get a free bottle of Vitamin D 3 and a free bottle of Omega3 fish oil in your welcome kit! Visit https://prizepicks.onelink.me/LME0/DRENCHED and use code DRENCHED and get $150 if you win your first $5 lineup! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Speaker 00

  The wild, wild west.

• 0:02Matt McCusker?

  Back then, there's a hen and you still as a motherfucking rooster. Once I'm get with the here and now, I'm gonna shit on you with this young ass pimp.

• 0:08Speaker 02

  Start talking about high risk sexual activity.

• 0:12Speaker 00

  This is the last thing we need is mad on his pimp shit.

• 0:17Speaker 02

  They're talking about really high risk sexual activity that they can't comment. Yeah, I bottomed for this guy.

• 0:22Matt McCusker?

  Anal to anal.

• 0:23Speaker 00

  Yeah, true. But you can't, you're not allowed to have nicotine.

• 0:27Matt McCusker?

  That's what they say. That's dude, that's the argument. Some are, some are with the times, the other ones. I mean, it's just a get at your paper, man.

• 0:33Speaker 00

  You're talking about Coke classic. These are the new Pepsi's.

• 0:36Matt McCusker?

  It's the Pepsi generation. You can't fuck with that Coke classic.

• 0:39Speaker 00

  Exactly.

• 0:40Matt McCusker?

  Also, who's the biggest pimp than Uncle Sam?

• 0:44Speaker 00

  I agree.

• 0:45Speaker 02

  Just start pimping, dude.

• 0:47Matt McCusker?

  Bro, I'm, I've been hitting, I put it on in bed and just like, I listen to pimpology at nighttime, forty eight laws of the game. And I'll just put it on, just wait for Brittany to like, to her brain to register the words. And it's, he'll tell us, it's, everything's broken down. He tells his pimp and Ken, obviously tells a story about his life, twenty three, two, three of the P, Michael Jordan, the pimpin'. From Peewalky, Milwaukee, but. I'll put it on, dude, I'll put it on and I'll just watch her, like, she'll be sitting there reading a book and you'll just hear this guy be like, I walked up, I said, bitch, break yourself. And she'll be like, break yourself is nice. If a chick talks to you, you, you like, if she's not gonna pay you, you can't even barely look at her. She comes to talk, you say, bitch, break yourself. And they have to give you a G. And I was like, alright, now we can deal. Like, I won't even, they won't even talk to a lady.

• 1:32Speaker 02

  You should try pimpin'.

• 1:33Matt McCusker?

  Oh, I couldn't do it. I knew I couldn't do it.

• 1:35Speaker 02

  All digital pimpin'. The pimp game moved online.

• 1:37Speaker 00

  He just talked gorilla pimpin', dude.

• 1:39Matt McCusker?

  You think I'm?

• 1:40Speaker 00

  You're not gorilla pimpin'.

• 1:41Matt McCusker?

  McGill, McGill, the gorilla. Nah, dude, I'm a fucking soft Mac. I might, you know, pimp is a non-contact sport.

• 1:48Speaker 02

  How many bedrooms do you have in your house?

• 1:50Matt McCusker?

  Pimp is a non-contact sport. I'm, mine, with me, it's a skull game.

• 1:53Speaker 00

  God, LeMaire, LeMaire's so gay, dude. He's sitting back there while he's talking on.

• 1:58Matt McCusker?

  It's true.

• 1:59Speaker 02

  LeMaire pimps.

• 2:00Speaker 00

  I'm just catching the vibes, dude. LeMaire, you're not pimpin' at all, dude.

• 2:03Matt McCusker?

  Hello.

• 2:04Speaker 00

  We can edit that, we can edit that.

• 2:06Speaker 02

  Wait, did you already start?

• 2:08Matt McCusker?

  Fired up. We're fired up. Yeah, it is one of the worst things for me to, for me to be reading these books are just not, it's not necessary, but dudes are the best. Non-contact sports, my favorite. Pimp is a non-contact sport. But you can't.

• 2:22Speaker 02

  Game, dude. Getting, they can't stop you from pimping.

• 2:24Matt McCusker?

  Well, here's the thing, you don't even wanna talk about now with the human trafficking things.

• 2:28Speaker 02

  Yeah, I guess so.

• 2:29Matt McCusker?

  A lot of, a lot of a gentleman had to step out, step back, cause they're, they're roofing dudes now.

• 2:34Speaker 00

  It's human trafficking.

• 2:35Matt McCusker?

  It is.

• 2:35Speaker 02

  Pimping is.

• 2:36Matt McCusker?

  I mean, dude, they really, I've been watching a lot of interviews about it and they will really be like, nah, we're elevating these hoes. And then it's like, nah, dude, you're fucking, you're, you're destroying these ladies. It's so, it's so evil. But it's, dude, it's literally is, you're preying on.

• 2:54Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's the most heinous, it's one of the most.

• 2:56Matt McCusker?

  You're, you're essentially taking young girls from terrible neighborhoods who were like molested. You'd be like, what's wrong, baby? You're like, yeah, what do you mean? What do you mean was wrong?

• 3:05Speaker 00

  Of course.

• 3:06Matt McCusker?

  Come here. In his book, he talks about it.

• 3:09Speaker 00

  Scumbags.

• 3:10Matt McCusker?

  He takes a lady, she's crying, he goes, so I walk up to her, I said, bitch, what's the matter? She was like, I got molested daddy. And he goes, bitch, success is the best revenge. Get out there and make some money. God damn.

• 3:22Speaker 02

  When did he write this book, like in the nineties or?

• 3:25Matt McCusker?

  Simon and Schuster publishes.

• 3:26Speaker 02

  Jesus Christ.

• 3:29Matt McCusker?

  Simon and Schuster publishes. He was, he got real big with all the rappers and stuff and they like, put him out and he got, he was in a lot of the early rap videos.

• 3:36Speaker 02

  Simon and Schuster put out a how to pimp book?

• 3:38Matt McCusker?

  Pimpology, forty eight laws.

• 3:39Speaker 02

  But does it tell you how to pimp?

• 3:41Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, dude, it tells me exactly how to pimp.

• 3:43Speaker 00

  Who's the pimp?

• 3:43Matt McCusker?

  Pimp and Ken.

• 3:45Speaker 00

  What, what is it?

• 3:45Matt McCusker?

  Pimp and Ken.

• 3:46Speaker 00

  Pimp and Ken.

• 3:47Matt McCusker?

  His name's Ken, but it's pimp and Ken.

• 3:48Speaker 02

  His name's pimp and Ken. Is he still active in the pimp game?

• 3:51Matt McCusker?

  Nah, he's a Mac. So, once you, once you transcend pimping, you become a Mac and then a boss player is above that all.

• 3:57Speaker 00

  Damn.

• 3:57Matt McCusker?

  A Mac is someone who was a pimp, but doesn't need those hoes anymore, cause he has other lines of, he turns, he turns his hoe ends into dividends.

• 4:03Speaker 02

  Does he still maintain?

• 4:06Speaker 02

  Does he still maintain a polygamous lifestyle?

• 4:09Matt McCusker?

  Uh, yeah, always, obviously. He's not a fucking square.

• 4:12Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 4:12Matt McCusker?

  I mean, who are the biggest pimps but fucking wives? That's what he claims. He claims you're either being pimped by your wife or you're macking on the babes.

• 4:20Speaker 00

  Very simple.

• 4:20Matt McCusker?

  They're like, for real, it's, it's like red pill, but it goes back to like the seventies and sixties. There was a sociological study where someone from, I think Berkeley, some lady professor became a stripper, went undercover and penetrated, like the, she kind of, yeah, she was like in the life, getting like a, like a cell of pimps and was talking to them and talking to the girls. And they did a whole study and they published it. And they, she, her theory was that these black dudes from the city were, they didn't even realize it, but they were recreating a, a polygamous lifestyle in, that, that used to be in like Sub-Saharan Africa. It was very common where like the women would go out and work and the dudes would be chilling, like getting all pretty and shit.

• 5:00Speaker 02

  So they were tapping into genetic memory and it led to, they were tapping into genetic memory.

• 5:04Speaker 00

  Fucking cop out.

• 5:05Matt McCusker?

  The what?

• 5:06Speaker 00

  To be like, it's just in their biology to pimp.

• 5:09Matt McCusker?

  It's pretty crazy.

• 5:10Speaker 00

  What?

• 5:11Matt McCusker?

  Well, she was saying it used to be back in the day, it was like, you would, which I heard the opposite. I heard back in Africa, there was a lot of like multiple dudes won lady setups.

• 5:20Speaker 00

  But I think it's called, uh.

• 5:21Matt McCusker?

  Be true.

• 5:22Speaker 00

  Massive continent.

• 5:22Matt McCusker?

  True.

• 5:24Speaker 00

  Tons of different tribes.

• 5:25Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, true.

• 5:26Speaker 02

  What's the, the majority was lady pimps?

• 5:29Matt McCusker?

  Nah, I don't know. But I, I heard there was back, I mean, I read some book another time, they said the exact opposite, where like, you would just have like, you and the bros and you would just have one babe.

• 5:38Speaker 00

  One queen bee.

• 5:39Matt McCusker?

  You would just all, yeah, you'd always go as hard as you could in the.

• 5:41Speaker 02

  Talk about anything like three hundred years before, you could say whatever you want.

• 5:44Matt McCusker?

  You really can, honestly.

• 5:45Speaker 02

  No one was polygamous, everyone was monogamous, then this happens.

• 5:49Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, girls were in charge, blah, blah, blah. It's like, yeah, yeah, yeah. Nobody really does have a fucking clue.

• 5:54Speaker 02

  No one has a clue. You don't have a clue what your grandparents did.

• 5:57Matt McCusker?

  I know.

• 5:57Speaker 02

  So let alone like what your ancestors in this country have no fucking clue.

• 6:01Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, there was like one guy.

• 6:03Speaker 02

  No one wrote it down, like, yeah, here's how we run our life. It's like.

• 6:08Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 6:09Speaker 02

  We all hurdle around one woman and she is our master pimp.

• 6:13Matt McCusker?

  Well, wasn't it, she was, there wasn't a pimp, it was just like, that was just your babe. And you'd be like, fuck, yeah.

• 6:16Speaker 02

  But you had a bunch of bros, you had one wife.

• 6:18Matt McCusker?

  Oh yeah, that's my wife too. And you'd be like, sick.

• 6:20Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 6:20Speaker 02

  That's kind of a sick setup.

• 6:23Speaker 00

  Everyone bangs the same lady?

• 6:24Speaker 02

  Like if we all were in trouble for masturbating right now.

• 6:30Speaker 02

  And we all had a common like teacher to blame, we're like, dude, she sucks.

• 6:35Speaker 00

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• 6:41Matt McCusker?

  Yo.

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• 7:03Matt McCusker?

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• 7:09Speaker 00

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• 7:13Matt McCusker?

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• 7:33Speaker 00

  Oh yeah.

• 7:34Matt McCusker?

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• 8:07Speaker 00

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• 8:30Matt McCusker?

  But yeah, that was, uh, but yeah, it's pretty, it's, it's definitely, it's definitely a wild world. It really did, all the cool slang from rap came from pimping. I'll get, I will give them that. They have all that stuff.

• 8:41Speaker 00

  Where was this pimp? Was he in Oakland?

• 8:43Matt McCusker?

  Peewalky.

• 8:44Speaker 00

  Oh.

• 8:44Matt McCusker?

  Pimp walky.

• 8:45Speaker 02

  He was pimping in Milwaukee.

• 8:46Speaker 00

  He was Milwaukee going wild.

• 8:48Matt McCusker?

  Milwaukee going wild for sure. Yeah, he was peewalking.

• 8:51Speaker 00

  But man, I'm just joking about your, your dong, dude. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you so sad.

• 8:55Matt McCusker?

  It's okay. My joint was kinda ashy. I was on the Florida run all by my lonesome. My joint was a little ashy.

• 9:00Speaker 02

  Do you follow the sort of lust?

• 9:02Matt McCusker?

  A hundred percent.

• 9:03Speaker 00

  LeMaire, I didn't mean to get you down, brother.

• 9:05Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, it's okay. I'm fine.

• 9:08Matt McCusker?

  I know, but.

• 9:11Speaker 00

  So Lamarr's going through a major life adjustment.

• 9:13Matt McCusker?

  True. That's true. Yeah, well, like I said, buckle in.

• 9:19Matt McCusker?

  It's fun stuff. It is fun stuff, though. Women really are this amazing creatures. Their eyes are truly just gates to eternity, dude.

• 9:26Speaker 00

  Yeah. When you look into their eyes, you go, god damn, you are smart as hell.

• 9:29Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 9:30Speaker 00

  Which is nice. A bunch of guys, a bunch of guys came with me to Notre Dame game and all three of my bros from hometown got texts or calls from their wives that were just.

• 9:44Matt McCusker?

  Fighting.

• 9:45Speaker 00

  Just lady shit. Like one lady, one lady texted like, I hear music. Another lady was like, it's cold. It's cold in the house. One lady's like, did you take my pillow?

• 9:58Speaker 00

  It smells musty in the kids.

• 10:00Matt McCusker?

  Live text.

• 10:01Speaker 00

  No, it's just as soon as they got to the house on Thursday night, like they got slammed with. I hear music coming from somewhere.

• 10:07Matt McCusker?

  Oh, it was like reports from back home.

• 10:10Speaker 00

  From the house. Yeah. Complaint reports from the house.

• 10:12Matt McCusker?

  Yeah. I get like logistical ones.

• 10:14Speaker 00

  Well, then turn the thermostat up.

• 10:16Matt McCusker?

  Turn it up. If I tell my wife I'm doing anything that I can't pay attention to, I get like the most intense logistical texts. It'll be like, on December 19th, you want to go at two or three to.

• 10:26Speaker 00

  I don't think anything can piss me off more. And being like, what time are we leaving on?

• 10:31Matt McCusker?

  It'll be like, the first ice rink for the Christmas fair is at 2pm. Do you want to go to that or the 2:30? What time do you think you'll be back on December 19th?

• 10:38Speaker 00

  I'm gone. I'm in another state right now. I don't know. Yeah. And if you're like, bro, I don't want to think about this.

• 10:45Matt McCusker?

  And then I'll come home, be like, yeah, let's go. Like, nah, nevermind. I figured it out. It's 2 o'clock. Okay. Why did you text me a hundred times?

• 10:52Speaker 00

  Yeah, they'd be tripping, bro.

• 10:53Matt McCusker?

  Love them.

• 10:54Speaker 00

  I love them. I do love them.

• 10:55Matt McCusker?

  I do love them.

• 10:56Speaker 00

  I love them. I love when they get up to their tricks.

• 11:02Matt McCusker?

  Down, you need them. You need the babes.

• 11:04Speaker 00

  Uh, got a good, got a good Phil story for you.

• 11:07Matt McCusker?

  Yeah. How, how was the fucking trip?

• 11:09Speaker 00

  Trip was incredible. But, uh, first night, me and O'Connor got there Thursday.

• 11:15Speaker 00

  Fresh off the big movie premiere.

• 11:16Matt McCusker?

  Oh.

• 11:17Speaker 00

  Then we flew from LA to South Bend. It was me and, me and O'Connor and Phil. Phil got to the house early. Phil was out there on Thursday. He had already been to the casino twice in, in one day.

• 11:29Matt McCusker?

  Is he up?

• 11:29Speaker 00

  I doubt it.

• 11:32Speaker 00

  He don't go back. Phil said he went to the casino right when he got there, went to Walmart to get supplies and was like, fuck it, they're not gonna be here for a while. Back to the casino.

• 11:41Matt McCusker?

  Dude, if I was the FBI trying to pin all videos, like LAX, North Bend, casino, Walmart.

• 11:47Matt McCusker?

  What's his game?

• 11:48Speaker 00

  Sir, these are either geniuses or raging alcoholics.

• 11:52Matt McCusker?

  Yeah. What does he play?

• 11:53Speaker 00

  Uh, he plays, fuck, he was saying what it was. It was a weird game I never heard of.

• 11:59Matt McCusker?

  Mahjong?

• 12:00Speaker 00

  No. It's some game, some game that was like poker with just flushes. I forget.

• 12:05Matt McCusker?

  Oh, really?

• 12:06Speaker 00

  Yeah. I have no idea what he's doing, but he's like, it takes a while, which is what I like. I don't lose everything at once. I can really enjoy it. But I, he was, he was like, I've already been to the casino twice. I can't go a third time. And I was like, O'Connor, watch this. If I say casino to you.

• 12:21Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 12:22Speaker 00

  Just keep an eye on him. He's gonna be like a dog hearing, let's go for a walk. I go, dude. I mean, what do you think about the casino? You just see my dad on the couch go.

• 12:34Matt McCusker?

  He's cocked his head.

• 12:35Speaker 00

  And then, so we're, you know, we're a little exhausted. He's like, I didn't come out here to just sit here. Let's go. Let's go out. He made us go out. But, uh, before we go, he tells us this story. It's me, him and O'Connor. We're sitting there and he's like, I got this prostate cancer. So I went in and I'm in the, I'm in the doctor's office. And this Indian guy comes in and he starts unzipping this thing. And I go, hey buddy, I don't know what room you think you're in, but that's not going anywhere near me. So anyway, the guy ends up shoving this rod up my ass.

• 13:08Speaker 00

  It was literally like Kanye delivery of like, I'm not gonna say it. So he did end up shoving that rod into my ass.

• 13:15Matt McCusker?

  Oh my God.

• 13:17Speaker 00

  Yeah. He was, he was on a mad one. So my dad was fucking banged up.

• 13:23Speaker 00

  He was fucking shitfaced.

• 13:25Matt McCusker?

  He's probably in the time of his life.

• 13:25Speaker 00

  He was.

• 13:26Matt McCusker?

  Yeah. I mean, the game must have been.

• 13:28Speaker 00

  He, dude, at the end of the game, we're in the, we're in the suite that we were sitting in. As soon as the game ends, Phil's like, all right, Shane, let's go. Let's go down to the locker room.

• 13:40Speaker 00

  What? He's like, yeah, I'm sure they're gonna, Marcus, Marcus Freeman's gonna want to see me. Let's go ahead and get down to the locker room. I'm like, dad, we can't go into the locker room, you maniac. He kept being like, okay, let's go. All right, that's it. Come on.

• 13:55Matt McCusker?

  You want to spray the bottles?

• 13:56Speaker 00

  He was, yeah. He was, he was fired up.

• 13:59Matt McCusker?

  That's so funny.

• 14:00Speaker 00

  Also, he's in like, we were in a suite, a really nice suite with like former players. Fucking Joe Montana was in there. Like, it was crazy. Phil's sitting next to Tim Brown the entire game. And the entire time, my dad's the only one screaming in the box. Like, he's the only one that's like a.

• 14:15Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 14:16Speaker 00

  Drunk fan.

• 14:17Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 14:17Speaker 00

  Every time Miami's quarterback dropped back, he was like, get him, get him. Ah, shit. Get him, get him. He's just screaming next to an NFL Hall of Famer. It was, it was a wonderful experience.

• 14:32Matt McCusker?

  That's awesome.

• 14:33Speaker 00

  Yeah. The O'Connor man held his own, didn't, didn't act a fool.

• 14:36Matt McCusker?

  Nice. That's actually, especially for that game. That's impressive.

• 14:40Speaker 00

  Yeah. I was surprised the O'Connor man did what he did.

• 14:42Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, I could see him.

• 14:43Speaker 00

  He held it together.

• 14:44Matt McCusker?

  Did he hit the chapel?

• 14:46Speaker 00

  Uh, he, not a lot of guys were making it in and out of the house.

• 14:49Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 14:50Speaker 00

  It was, yeah.

• 14:52Matt McCusker?

  That's awesome.

• 14:53Speaker 00

  It was a bit of a bloodbath on Friday night in the house.

• 14:55Matt McCusker?

  Yeah. The day before?

• 14:58Speaker 00

  Yeah, the day before. So we were just watching, we were watching games, enjoying ourselves. Nebraska played that day and Will Compton went to Nebraska. So with the bus and the boys guys came over, they always roll about 40 deep.

• 15:08Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 15:09Speaker 00

  Just fucking 30 guys in this house.

• 15:11Matt McCusker?

  Damn.

• 15:12Speaker 00

  Just drinking, enjoying ourselves. But at some point during that O'Connor,

• 15:18Speaker 00

  some, he must've got, I didn't watch it happen, but he just about blacked out.

• 15:22Matt McCusker?

  On Friday?

• 15:22Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 15:23Matt McCusker?

  He went to the, he went to the O'Connor verse.

• 15:24Speaker 00

  He did. And then he wakes up Saturday morning. I watch him come out of the basement like.

• 15:30Matt McCusker?

  Does he get rowdy or just like silently blacked out?

• 15:33Speaker 00

  He gets quiet when he gets blacked out.

• 15:34Matt McCusker?

  But it's also, he'll, you'll, you almost think he's fine. Then he'll just like toss earbuds in and look at you and you're like, why the fuck do you have headphones in, bro?

• 15:41Speaker 00

  Yeah. I'll be like, I'm listening to Seeger.

• 15:45Matt McCusker?

  Was this a Bob Seeger, like a deep blackout state?

• 15:47Speaker 00

  He used to come home and blast Seeger and dance.

• 15:51Matt McCusker?

  Why Seeger?

• 15:52Speaker 00

  He loves fucking Seeger.

• 15:53Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, dude.

• 15:54Speaker 00

  He also loves Like a Rock. That's his fucking jam.

• 15:58Matt McCusker?

  Only while blacked out. It's like an alter ego that loves Bob Seeger? That's fucking fascinating. That's probably ancestral memory. Dude, years ago, I had a party at my house in Philly on Brown Street and we were just like all sitting there and I didn't think he was even that drunk. And he's like, we're talking, he's popped in headphones and was like, I think it was Night Moves. He's, and I'm like, bro, what the fuck are you talking? You're just gonna pop in headphones or? Probably brings them back somewhere. Does. I mean, it was, I was like, I can't be mad. I'm kind of jealous. I'm not listening to Night Moves myself, but.

• 16:27Speaker 00

  Night Moves is great, but yeah, whole, and then like, I was sitting next to him at this bar on Thursday night. And it was me, Phil and O'Connor. And it's like, you can't get those two out of the bar.

• 16:39Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 16:40Speaker 00

  You cannot. And I look over at Chris, I'm like, dude, you ready to go? And he was like,

• 16:45Speaker 00

  oh my God, dude, you gotta go. Let's go.

• 16:50Matt McCusker?

  I will say that I was, I was actually thinking about this this weekend. And I don't want to rate on your party parade, but I was like, straight guys compared to gay guys, you can't even claim to be a party animal.

• 16:59Speaker 00

  Oh, yeah.

• 17:00Matt McCusker?

  Dude, we went to, we were in Orlando on Sunday and they had an EDM festival. It was like 19 year old kids and then just like 45 year old gay couples. And like a lot of them.

• 17:10Speaker 00

  Raging?

• 17:10Matt McCusker?

  A lot of them. Yeah, dude.

• 17:12Speaker 00

  Yeah, of course.

• 17:12Matt McCusker?

  You can't rage that hard.

• 17:13Speaker 00

  Rage the hardest.

• 17:14Matt McCusker?

  They rage. They're the king party. You're saying they can't rage?

• 17:17Speaker 00

  No, I'm saying like a 45 year old heterosexual male, the party's over.

• 17:21Matt McCusker?

  Bro, those gay dudes are the party champ. I was there being like, dude, these guys are for real king of the party.

• 17:25Speaker 00

  Well, they never had to stop partying.

• 17:27Matt McCusker?

  Never had to stop and no.

• 17:28Speaker 00

  And their party goes and goes.

• 17:29Matt McCusker?

  They're not getting thermostat texts.

• 17:30Speaker 00

  Yeah. I hear music coming. Yeah. There's music coming from somewhere.

• 17:36Matt McCusker?

  Every text they get. If you're like a 40 year old gay party man, every text you get's nice.

• 17:41Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 17:41Matt McCusker?

  It's like, yo. It's like a GTA phone.

• 17:44Speaker 02

  Every time your phone dings, it's like, yo.

• 17:47Speaker 00

  New fucking drug mission. Comes and there's just come and drugs. That's every text.

• 17:55Speaker 02

  Every text is a good one.

• 17:56Speaker 00

  It says, who the fuck trying to nut in my butt?

• 18:01Matt McCusker?

  Me. That would be a nice rock star game where you're just like a 40 year old gay guy.

• 18:05Speaker 02

  It's just tear up the town.

• 18:06Matt McCusker?

  Parties. There's young boys EDM fest.

• 18:09Speaker 02

  They're on to something.

• 18:10Matt McCusker?

  They are. I was thinking about it.

• 18:12Speaker 00

  They are on to something.

• 18:12Speaker 02

  Every text I get, it's like, who the fuck is this now?

• 18:15Speaker 00

  Yeah. Who the fuck's trying to nut my butt? No one's trying to nut in my butt.

• 18:20Matt McCusker?

  I was pumped for them. And again, I'm not saying this was their total design, but I'm like, I'm a 40 year old gay guy. I'm out, I'm partying, you know, but doing a thing. You see like a fucking 25 year old kid whacked out on Molly like. You're like, hello.

• 18:33Speaker 00

  Yeah, I haven't met too many.

• 18:34Matt McCusker?

  Let's dance buddy.

• 18:35Speaker 00

  Gay dudes that are like just chilling.

• 18:37Matt McCusker?

  They rock.

• 18:38Speaker 00

  They usually are rocking as hard as they can.

• 18:39Matt McCusker?

  They're rocking and rolling like you were.

• 18:41Speaker 02

  They hit a hard chill at like 60 though. Like I was in Rehoboth in September when you see like the old cup, old like gay dudes bickering.

• 18:48Speaker 00

  Queens.

• 18:48Speaker 02

  And they all, a lot, not all of them, a lot of them go like, they get real into like MAGA type stuff.

• 18:53Speaker 00

  There is that version, but they're the ones kind of still rocking, dude.

• 18:57Speaker 02

  They like to, they're like parrot heads, but they're not partying at like.

• 18:59Matt McCusker?

  I mean, they're so, I mean, they're like Mick Jagger level. If you were to count like their hours of partying, they're like, if party just hard as a rolling.

• 19:07Speaker 02

  I was watching like old gay couples like fight while carrying beach chairs onto the beach.

• 19:11Matt McCusker?

  They're probably.

• 19:12Speaker 02

  So I'm like, all the party.

• 19:13Matt McCusker?

  There's foreplay. They're being like, bitch.

• 19:16Speaker 00

  Yeah, I would imagine gay dudes, the party does take a break during the carrying the chairs.

• 19:21Speaker 02

  And like you're like, where do you want to sit on the beach and you're fighting and it's like, you haven't smashed in like three months.

• 19:26Matt McCusker?

  Oh.

• 19:27Speaker 00

  I, there's no way they haven't smashed in three months.

• 19:29Speaker 02

  At some point you just stop cracking.

• 19:32Matt McCusker?

  I don't think. I think they, yeah, they open, they open it up. I think they opened that pause, but they opened up the relationship. They'll be like.

• 19:38Speaker 02

  That, they would say you're just not that horny. Like all of us hit a horny wall at like 55 and over where it's like, do you really feel like?

• 19:45Matt McCusker?

  I hope that doesn't come for our gay brothers.

• 19:48Speaker 02

  It comes for all men.

• 19:50Matt McCusker?

  True.

• 19:50Speaker 02

  Where you're just like, I don't feel like doing that right now.

• 19:53Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 19:54Speaker 02

  Maybe. I don't know. I can't speak on it just from what I've seen.

• 19:57Matt McCusker?

  I like to think they get their hands on a delicious snack every now and again.

• 20:00Speaker 00

  Yeah, I think they get to get some snacks. I think we're basing it off of straight.

• 20:04Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 20:04Speaker 00

  Straight men that are just with the guys getting the fucking, the texts.

• 20:09Speaker 02

  That's true.

• 20:10Speaker 00

  You know what I mean? Going, the last person I want to fuck is this lady.

• 20:13Speaker 02

  Cause yeah, it'd be one thing to like start bickering and you're like, let's pick up a snack at the bar. You're like, you're right babe.

• 20:17Matt McCusker?

  I think, I think they get the sugar babies flowing.

• 20:20Speaker 00

  Cool. That's a nice treat. Post argument snack with your brothers.

• 20:24Speaker 02

  Bread's probably so nice.

• 20:25Matt McCusker?

  Your bread, no one's money's longer.

• 20:27Speaker 00

  Shrewd a roof.

• 20:30Matt McCusker?

  Yeah. You got long paper. You're like, what are we doing?

• 20:32Speaker 02

  Like, why are we?

• 20:33Matt McCusker?

  Let me call my sugar baby. You're like, sugar baby. You're like, come on, man.

• 20:36Speaker 02

  Yeah, you're right. You might be right. I don't know. I'm just going by what I saw walking onto the beach where I'm like, damn, you guys are fighting too. Like this.

• 20:41Matt McCusker?

  It is. I've, I remember walking through Rehoboth for senior week and I remember it's, because Rehoboth, it's a Delaware beach and it's like a notoriously very gay beach. I remember coming through and being like, damn, these are, the bros are there. They're there in their houses and you walk. Yeah, I remember not bragging. I was doing a walk. Romo, I know.

• 20:57Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 20:58Matt McCusker?

  I was doing a walk. I was doing, I mean, for guys, it's a walk of glory. I was walking back from being out all night. I was just like walking past. I'm like, damn, who are all these gay guys? Walking back like, what's up boys?

• 21:06Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 21:07Matt McCusker?

  Partying like you guys last night?

• 21:11Speaker 00

  It's a popers.

• 21:13Matt McCusker?

  I made out, came back pretty sick.

• 21:15Speaker 00

  Went up on a check. No big deal.

• 21:18Speaker 00

  Grab some boobs. No big deal. Senior week.

• 21:22Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, it's pretty fun. I remember it was actually my senior week was weird because I, uh, I had at one point I was drunk at a high school dance and I had taking a, a girl's student ID out of her back pocket. I didn't even remember what I did and I had this ID and I was just in my house forever. And I met, I rekindled at senior week with the lady from the ID and I was like.

• 21:40Speaker 00

  You get to go up on her?

• 21:41Matt McCusker?

  Pretty sure I did.

• 21:42Speaker 02

  Well, you stole her student ID?

• 21:44Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, I don't know why. I like just woke up. I was like, why the fuck do I have this lady's ID? I'm pretty sure I just like popped it out of her.

• 21:49Speaker 02

  Damn. You probably went through her wallet.

• 21:51Matt McCusker?

  Huh?

• 21:51Speaker 02

  You probably went through her wallet.

• 21:52Matt McCusker?

  I was probably zannied up. I was probably zanned up stealing shit.

• 21:55Speaker 02

  Yeah, I'd check if it was zanny from like 25 years ago. Like, bro.

• 22:00Matt McCusker?

  That's a weird side effect of zanny is you steal.

• 22:02Speaker 02

  You steal shit.

• 22:02Matt McCusker?

  You steal. People who are zanned up just go around and steal.

• 22:05Speaker 02

  You start like casually stealing stuff out of garages and stuff.

• 22:08Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 22:08Speaker 02

  Dude, for real. It's like a weird effect of Xanax. It makes you steal stuff.

• 22:12Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, very strange. One of my bros did it at one of our formal dances. He got all zanned up because he's like, I'm going to take bars. Cause they were like, you know how they shake your hand at formal dances in case they're like, you're drinking, they want to smell your breath? He goes, I'm going to just take like two zanny bars and they're not going to be able to tell. And he's walked around like. And then stole everyone's money out of their sports coats.

• 22:32Matt McCusker?

  The bars are crazy. That's what we got to get into.

• 22:34Speaker 02

  With zannies?

• 22:35Matt McCusker?

  Bars, just chill pills.

• 22:37Speaker 02

  That's true.

• 22:37Speaker 00

  Chill pill and then go out.

• 22:40Matt McCusker?

  And then you end up drinking and you blackout.

• 22:43Speaker 02

  I've never taken one.

• 22:44Matt McCusker?

  I've taken zannies twice. Not a fan.

• 22:46Speaker 02

  I've never like.

• 22:48Matt McCusker?

  They're not chill.

• 22:48Speaker 02

  It's just never struck me as a good idea.

• 22:51Matt McCusker?

  There's also the weirdest, it's like, it's, there's like perks you could take this and that. Dude takes zannies and just completely blackout.

• 22:57Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 22:57Matt McCusker?

  I don't know anyone who was able to like pop them and kind of like chill and have fun.

• 23:01Speaker 00

  Have a nice evening.

• 23:02Matt McCusker?

  No, it'd be bar.

• 23:03Speaker 02

  It's like going from zero to like 30 beers.

• 23:04Matt McCusker?

  Literally.

• 23:05Speaker 02

  But you don't have like the swagger of a drunk. You're just like zonked.

• 23:08Matt McCusker?

  Dude, he's just zanned up.

• 23:10Speaker 02

  You're just stealing your neighbor's shit.

• 23:12Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 23:13Speaker 00

  Stealing stuff. So that's a good side effect, but being sleepy in public sucks. You got a party laying down.

• 23:19Speaker 02

  Yeah. You can't form sentences and stuff.

• 23:22Matt McCusker?

  Did you ever garage hop?

• 23:23Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 23:24Matt McCusker?

  That was always sick.

• 23:24Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 23:25Speaker 02

  I used to do it for beer when we were younger.

• 23:26Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 23:27Speaker 00

  Yeah, of course.

• 23:27Speaker 02

  We would just go get beer.

• 23:28Speaker 00

  Those you get in there.

• 23:29Speaker 02

  And then just take like hockey sticks or whatever.

• 23:31Speaker 00

  You're getting, you're getting other stuff.

• 23:33Speaker 02

  When they were building new developments around us, we thought it was still our woods until like the houses were complete. So like we took whatever was in there.

• 23:39Speaker 00

  Yeah, it was your wood.

• 23:40Speaker 02

  So guys, these are our woods.

• 23:42Matt McCusker?

  We were indigenous to the area.

• 23:43Speaker 02

  It's true.

• 23:44Matt McCusker?

  We grew up in this area. It was totally rural. There was no other people. They built those developments and we were fully like, this shit is ours. This is.

• 23:50Speaker 02

  Yeah, this is ours to break. This is ours to like destroy.

• 23:53Matt McCusker?

  You're setting windows. I'm going to break these.

• 23:54Speaker 02

  Yeah. Put up drywall and put holes in it.

• 23:56Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, it was fucked up.

• 23:57Speaker 02

  I wasn't even angry about it. I was just like, oh, cool. He put something up for us to do. Put holes in the drywall and keep moving.

• 24:03Matt McCusker?

  Damn, I'm so glad you're Irish one. I was pumped.

• 24:05Speaker 00

  Ah, it was, it was huge.

• 24:06Matt McCusker?

  I give you full girlfriend support.

• 24:08Speaker 00

  I appreciate that very much.

• 24:09Matt McCusker?

  His team won again. He'll be in such a good mood.

• 24:13Speaker 00

  Oh, good. He's not going to yell at me tonight.

• 24:18Matt McCusker?

  I was pumped. Me and Nader is pumped on our Sixers right now.

• 24:21Speaker 00

  Uh, you should have seen them yesterday.

• 24:22Matt McCusker?

  I know, I know. Hey, man.

• 24:23Speaker 00

  Yesterday they got nut in they butt.

• 24:25Matt McCusker?

  They did. They did. Didn't they trade? Didn't they trade with the Celtics?

• 24:29Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 24:30Matt McCusker?

  So, I mean, dude, I'd look, this early season, they're still figuring it out. I'm, I'm not too worried about them. Playing a lot of games. I just want them to stay injury free really. So, I mean, do they play a game every other fucking day?

• 24:42Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 24:42Matt McCusker?

  How do they not get fucked up?

• 24:44Speaker 00

  They got, they got rest Joel. I didn't like seeing him out there. All right. Time to get real in this new segment called Rip or Ship presented by PrizePix. PrizePix packs are here. Now you can buy real basketball, football and Pokemon cards right on PrizePix. You can pull high value cards worth millions with packs starting at just $1. Current PrizePix players, check your account for five, uh, bonus packs on us.

• 25:12Matt McCusker?

  Pokemon cards. All right. So we're going to get some Pokemon cards in there. Rip and skip. You might get holographic Char.

• 25:19Speaker 00

  I mean, holographic Char is the be all end all, dude.

• 25:22Matt McCusker?

  It'd be awesome. Just start ripping. Just choose your type of pack with prices ranging from $1 to $2,500. Each pack shows your odds of pulling high value cards. Rip it to see what you get, then sell your cards instantly on the app for real cash or have them shipped home.

• 25:41Speaker 00

  Hmm.

• 25:42Matt McCusker?

  Please share my top five PrizePix packs pulls.

• 25:46Speaker 00

  Uh, number one, Katelyn Clark faux show.

• 25:49Matt McCusker?

  Ooh.

• 25:50Speaker 00

  Number two, Sophie Cunningham stay.

• 25:54Speaker 00

  I would get a base, base head Char. You called it. Hollow. Come on.

• 25:57Matt McCusker?

  I'm all Pokemon right here. I'm going Mewtwo. I'm going Charizard, Blastoise.

• 26:04Matt McCusker?

  Primape. Primape's nice.

• 26:06Speaker 00

  Never even thought of Primape.

• 26:07Matt McCusker?

  Primape would be.

• 26:08Speaker 00

  Who's the magic one?

• 26:09Matt McCusker?

  There is many.

• 26:10Speaker 00

  There was one that looks like.

• 26:11Matt McCusker?

  Oh, Alakazam.

• 26:12Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 26:13Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, Alakazam. That'd be nice. Ghost Pokemon.

• 26:15Speaker 00

  What about just a classic squirrel? Does that do anything for you?

• 26:17Matt McCusker?

  Squirrel squad would be nice. I don't know if it'd be a real high.

• 26:19Speaker 00

  What does squirrel go up to?

• 26:21Matt McCusker?

  Uh, War Turtled and Blastoise. So.

• 26:24Speaker 00

  Keep an eye out for that.

• 26:25Matt McCusker?

  Hollow world would be nice.

• 26:26Speaker 00

  Yeah, this is all very exciting actually. Jaden Daniels, rookie football, I'd do that. Remember, fellas, one man's cardboard is another man's retirement plan. New users, download the app today and use code DRENCH to get $25 instantly in packs after you rip your first $5 pack. That's code DRENCH to get $25 instantly in packs after you rip your first $5 pack. Price picks, run your game. 18 and older and eligible areas, terms apply, collect responsibly, please.

• 26:58Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, he'll be all right.

• 26:59Speaker 00

  They'll be all right.

• 26:59Matt McCusker?

  Dude, I don't, I don't know. I, after, I actually bruised my ribs playing basketball the other day. Did you ever do that before? Fucking hurts.

• 27:07Speaker 00

  Probably.

• 27:08Matt McCusker?

  It hurts like when you breathe, it's like every time. And I was actually thinking about Joel playing after the appendicitis surgery and I'm like, how the fuck did he do that?

• 27:16Speaker 00

  Yeah, that was crazy.

• 27:17Matt McCusker?

  That's insane.

• 27:17Speaker 02

  How'd you bruise your rib? Get hit by a ball or like bumping into the?

• 27:20Matt McCusker?

  I jumped up, I was the biggest guy on the court. I jumped up to contest a shot, it was the biggest guy on the court and we banged into each other.

• 27:25Speaker 00

  If you get bruised ribs from the ball, you have to.

• 27:28Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, you gotta go. That's full nerd status.

• 27:31Speaker 02

  If you got hit with a pass.

• 27:32Matt McCusker?

  No, there was some big ass dude and he went up to shoot and I jumped up to try to block his shot and we just like slammed into each other.

• 27:37Speaker 02

  Oh, did you hit the court?

• 27:38Matt McCusker?

  Huh?

• 27:38Speaker 02

  Were you like on the ground?

• 27:39Matt McCusker?

  No, I landed on my feet. He, he kinda made us think about it. He was like, what the fuck dude? And I was like, bro, you fucked me up, you're huge. My fucking ribs are killing me.

• 27:48Speaker 00

  You didn't yell that for playing too hard?

• 27:50Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, I always, I always get fucking griped at, but it was like, I went, I jumped, I jumped up straight. I jumped straight up and I was like.

• 27:56Speaker 02

  And he hit you?

• 27:57Speaker 00

  He jumped into this, he jumped, he was drawing the foul.

• 27:59Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, I mean, obviously his shoulder was rib level.

• 28:03Matt McCusker?

  He just, he went up and I went up to block it and I didn't realize how much force he jumped up with. He was a big dog.

• 28:07Speaker 02

  How old was the dude?

• 28:09Matt McCusker?

  Probably like mid 30s.

• 28:10Speaker 02

  Stranger or like?

• 28:11Matt McCusker?

  Straight, total stranger. I play with mostly total strangers every time.

• 28:14Speaker 02

  Well, you guys just show up and you?

• 28:15Matt McCusker?

  White bull, he was a white bull.

• 28:17Speaker 02

  You show up and everyone just assembles to like teams?

• 28:19Matt McCusker?

  You just show up to the courts.

• 28:20Speaker 02

  Oh damn.

• 28:20Matt McCusker?

  You just go to the courts.

• 28:21Speaker 02

  I never balled, I never balled.

• 28:22Speaker 00

  You gotta shoot around a little, get a, you know, get a good idea of who's good.

• 28:26Matt McCusker?

  Yep, and you go, guys wanna play? Yeah, it's just pick up. You go like, hey, does you guys wanna, like, yeah, yeah.

• 28:30Speaker 02

  And then do you do like, you guys are captains and you pick the guys?

• 28:32Matt McCusker?

  You shoot for it. First two to make the shot get to be captains and they pick. Or you just go like every other one, split up into teams, but yeah, they did.

• 28:38Speaker 02

  You're shirt skins?

• 28:40Matt McCusker?

  I wanted to so I can, you know, so I can know who's who, but no, we just, we all kept.

• 28:45Matt McCusker?

  I, dude, I get hit with like, yeah, it can be tough, dude. You get like, uh.

• 28:49Speaker 02

  Does anyone ever fight?

• 28:51Matt McCusker?

  I get people who get pretty heated at me a lot.

• 28:53Speaker 02

  Fight though, like?

• 28:54Matt McCusker?

  Nah, no one's gonna, no one's gonna do it. It's, it's, it's, it really is mostly white guys. You can, you can scrap with black dudes playing and they're not gonna like really cry too much.

• 29:02Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 29:02Matt McCusker?

  White guys get real princely about it around me.

• 29:05Speaker 02

  Get litigious on you.

• 29:06Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, they get really like, dude, what the fuck, man? And you're like, bro, this is, I'm not, you know, I'm not like. Not like smacking you in the neck, like we're bodies. And also if people set a pick, I run, I run through it full speed.

• 29:16Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 29:17Matt McCusker?

  If someone sets a pick on me, I'm like, nah. I'm running at you as fast as I can. Is that a foul?

• 29:24Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 29:24Speaker 02

  What?

• 29:25Matt McCusker?

  Charging.

• 29:25Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 29:25Matt McCusker?

  No, I'm, you got in my way, I'm running.

• 29:27Speaker 00

  Depends how.

• 29:28Speaker 02

  Yeah, but if he's.

• 29:29Matt McCusker?

  I don't lower my shoulder, I just, I'm like, mm.

• 29:32Speaker 00

  Yeah, it's a, it's a foul.

• 29:34Matt McCusker?

  Is it?

• 29:34Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 29:34Matt McCusker?

  Okay, that's on me then. People set picks, I fucking just go.

• 29:43Matt McCusker?

  I'm running dude, I'm not gonna just give my guy up because you're just standing there.

• 29:46Speaker 02

  Do you ever go back to the court and they don't let you play?

• 29:48Matt McCusker?

  No, they always let me play. I also yelled the whole time. Oh! Every time they shoot, I lower my head. I did that to a kid, I played with middle schoolers the other day. I played with middle schoolers yesterday, actually, the one kid went to shoot it, I went like that, like I was with, when someone's shooting it, you like throw your head like you're about to hit him, he's like.

• 30:08Matt McCusker?

  But I was chilling with, with the young kid. He was laughing.

• 30:11Speaker 02

  Mister, you're scaring him, take it easy.

• 30:13Matt McCusker?

  No, those kids were all, they were so funny. They're calling the one kid Crackhead Bob, they're like, Crackhead Bob, throw me the ball. And I'm like, why do you call him that? It's not nice. Yeah, I was playing, it was, it was kind of highly sus behavior, I was just trying to shoot around.

• 30:25Speaker 02

  It's like 12, 13, 14 year olds?

• 30:26Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, the school let out and they all just poured on the court, like, can we play, can we play? I was like, all right, boys, let's go. Fire up.

• 30:32Speaker 02

  Who won, your team or them?

• 30:33Matt McCusker?

  We won, I was chilling, actually you kinda pulled my groin yesterday. So I was just, I was just playing low and I was just, I was just.

• 30:40Speaker 00

  Did Crackhead Bob get you?

• 30:41Matt McCusker?

  Nah, Crackhead Bob didn't get me, he, he was normal. He tried, I tried to cross him up, that's how I think I pulled my groin.

• 30:48Speaker 02

  You guys put money up?

• 30:49Matt McCusker?

  Did a lateral movement, I should have put some money up.

• 30:51Speaker 02

  Money up, dude.

• 30:51Matt McCusker?

  Nah, those bums didn't have shit, dude, those kids.

• 30:53Speaker 02

  When you play with the older heads, you start putting some bread up.

• 30:56Matt McCusker?

  I should.

• 30:57Speaker 00

  Yeah, that'll get them playing a little harder.

• 30:58Matt McCusker?

  That would be nice. Put some bread up.

• 31:00Speaker 02

  Put a bucket of G.

• 31:01Matt McCusker?

  And just never pay if I lose. Be like, yeah, I'll be out.

• 31:04Speaker 00

  Sprint off the court.

• 31:06Speaker 02

  She's like, yeah, I was just joking.

• 31:07Matt McCusker?

  I should get banned from those, I should get banned from those courts near my house.

• 31:11Speaker 02

  If you came home like five grand, threw it on the table, you're like.

• 31:15Matt McCusker?

  I might just withdraw and come back like, yeah, I want more at the courts than I've been. Just never back.

• 31:19Speaker 02

  You should convince her you're making like 10 grand a week at the courts.

• 31:22Speaker 00

  Yeah, that's a great idea.

• 31:23Matt McCusker?

  That is a good idea. Double rims.

• 31:25Speaker 00

  Draw some money and be like, I made this at the casino.

• 31:27Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 31:28Speaker 00

  I have to go to the casino.

• 31:29Speaker 02

  True.

• 31:31Speaker 00

  I make this every night at the bar, I don't know what the fuck I'm playing.

• 31:35Speaker 00

  Touch screen, people are betting on it. Playing Hoop Jones every day.

• 31:38Speaker 02

  Such a nice move.

• 31:39Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, that'd be nice.

• 31:40Speaker 02

  Pretend you had a stream of income that was tough as fuck.

• 31:42Speaker 00

  Phil hits that, you can sign the book at the bar. And so everybody signs it and puts in a dollar. And it gets up.

• 31:49Speaker 02

  A general raffle?

• 31:50Speaker 00

  Gets, yeah, it gets up to thousands of dollars. Every once in a while, he hits it and brings it home.

• 31:54Speaker 02

  He just comes over, throws it on the table, like, that's why I go to the bar?

• 31:57Speaker 00

  He's like, this is, I have to sign the book. And then, the one time it was great, I was like, dad, you sign the book all the time, like, you never win. He's like, I won twice this year. My mom was like, twice?

• 32:08Speaker 02

  So he's up then?

• 32:09Speaker 00

  Yeah, but he kept one to himself.

• 32:14Matt McCusker?

  I remember being young and one of my friend's dads was like, I was like a, maybe a 13 year old boy and he was like, you always gotta keep cash on the side for yourself from your wife. He's like, don't ever tell her, he's like, have your account, because you always need your own cash. You do whatever you want with it. I remember being like, no idea what he's talking about, I mean like.

• 32:30Speaker 02

  It's kinda true.

• 32:31Matt McCusker?

  Hundred percent.

• 32:32Speaker 02

  Yeah, you need to have like a hundred bucks kicking around for like, just general shit.

• 32:38Speaker 00

  Get on the bus, dude. Voting's done, dude, free rides over.

• 32:43Speaker 02

  I had to hit him with, I had to hit him with $1.25 today.

• 32:45Matt McCusker?

  I was telling.

• 32:46Speaker 02

  I was the only dude on the bus today.

• 32:47Speaker 00

  He was telling me you had a fucking battle on the bus.

• 32:49Speaker 02

  Oh, when I left here last week.

• 32:50Matt McCusker?

  Someone stepped, I heard someone stepped to you.

• 32:52Speaker 02

  Some dude stepped to me, I was on it, I was like, bro, we're not, like, I'm not.

• 32:56Matt McCusker?

  Well, he was trying to get you to buy a case of water.

• 32:57Speaker 02

  He was like, yo, you wanna buy some water? I was like, no.

• 33:01Speaker 00

  I spent a dollar twenty five, how much does this shit cost?

• 33:03Speaker 02

  He's like, he tried to hit me for three bucks for like some warm water.

• 33:07Matt McCusker?

  Was it a case or is it a?

• 33:08Speaker 02

  It was like a half drank case. He was like, yo, three bucks for a bottle? And I was like, I'm good on that. And he was like, two. I was like, yeah, I don't need water. And he's like, I don't feel like fucking carrying this all day. And I just stepped, because the bus was kinda full, so I was like, yeah, it's not my fucking problem, dude. And he was just like, he got off the bus and left it there.

• 33:26Speaker 00

  Oh, you got free water?

• 33:27Speaker 02

  I didn't touch it. Fuck him.

• 33:29Matt McCusker?

  You gotta, you gotta start, I'm telling you, read pimpology, you need to learn the 48 laws of game.

• 33:33Speaker 02

  Harder, dude.

• 33:34Matt McCusker?

  Need the 48 laws of game, but you gotta respect your elders. You gotta respect your elders though, the whole time, that's important.

• 33:39Speaker 02

  Dude, he stepped me on the bus in front of everyone, so I was like, dude, I don't know how they do down here, but I had to be like, bro.

• 33:44Speaker 00

  You had to stand your ground there.

• 33:45Speaker 02

  I had to stand my ground.

• 33:45Speaker 00

  You could never show face on the bus.

• 33:47Speaker 02

  I was taking the whole back bench, sitting in the middle by myself, so like.

• 33:50Matt McCusker?

  That's dominant, actually.

• 33:51Speaker 02

  I had to show him, it's like.

• 33:52Speaker 00

  It is very dominant, it's like the beginning of an action movie.

• 33:54Speaker 02

  Dude, the Austin bus is nuts too, because a lot of people, like, you'll pull up to a stop and people get on, look around and get off.

• 34:01Matt McCusker?

  That's weird.

• 34:01Speaker 02

  It's so weird.

• 34:02Matt McCusker?

  They're probably looking for somebody.

• 34:04Speaker 00

  There's a fucking umbrella every 10 minutes in this fucking town.

• 34:07Speaker 02

  They look kinda spaced, so I don't think they're that locked.

• 34:09Speaker 00

  What's the name of the bus, what's the transit system here called?

• 34:13Matt McCusker?

  No idea.

• 34:14Speaker 00

  Dang.

• 34:15Speaker 02

  I don't know, I've never looked at it.

• 34:16Speaker 00

  What kind of bus are you getting on?

• 34:17Speaker 02

  It's just a big blue bus.

• 34:20Speaker 02

  Right next to my front door.

• 34:22Matt McCusker?

  That's chill.

• 34:23Speaker 02

  What is it? Cat Metro.

• 34:25Matt McCusker?

  I'm about to ride that this weekend, I'm gonna take the kids down.

• 34:26Speaker 02

  Take them down to my house, bro.

• 34:27Matt McCusker?

  I'm gonna ride, I'm gonna pop on.

• 34:29Speaker 00

  Really?

• 34:29Matt McCusker?

  I'm looking for that guy with the water, like, what's up, pussy?

• 34:31Speaker 02

  Dude, it's always empty.

• 34:32Matt McCusker?

  Heard you were talking shit.

• 34:34Speaker 00

  I got five bucks.

• 34:35Matt McCusker?

  Let me see that, that's some fucking bitch ass, warm ass water.

• 34:38Speaker 02

  It was like a half ripped open case and I was like, get the fuck out of here. Fuck out of here.

• 34:41Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, she's like, bro, I'm gonna slam that on your head, pussy.

• 34:43Speaker 00

  If it was a full case, unopened.

• 34:45Speaker 02

  If it was on ice, I would have bought one maybe.

• 34:47Speaker 00

  Two dollars, you bring it home, you go, honey, look what I got.

• 34:49Matt McCusker?

  He was throwing single bottles.

• 34:50Speaker 02

  It was lukewarm out of the plastic.

• 34:52Speaker 00

  I know, you can cool the water though.

• 34:54Speaker 02

  I don't, I got water at home.

• 34:56Speaker 00

  Yeah, but you could always use more water, bring it home, show your wife.

• 34:59Speaker 02

  Like a 12 ounce.

• 35:00Speaker 00

  Check this shit out.

• 35:00Speaker 02

  Poland Spring, I don't, it's.

• 35:02Matt McCusker?

  Three dollars, three dollars per bottle is also crazy.

• 35:05Speaker 02

  That's a crazy, he was trying to get me.

• 35:06Speaker 00

  Was it a half empty bottle?

• 35:08Speaker 02

  No, it was a half case, it had been ripped.

• 35:10Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 35:11Speaker 02

  Sitting on like a hot ass seat, he tried to hit me for three bucks, which was punk prices, and he knew that.

• 35:16Matt McCusker?

  That, he custied your ass, he was custying you out.

• 35:19Speaker 02

  He was trying to cust you out, I was like, dude, not happening, bro.

• 35:21Matt McCusker?

  You gotta Frank White them, like, bro, I got a job for you, keep that water, here's two bucks.

• 35:25Speaker 02

  I should have just taken him home with me, been like, bro, you come with me.

• 35:27Matt McCusker?

  I got a job, there was, there was a video, this guy does it, he'll like meet dudes outside and just be like, I'll give him five bucks, he goes, you work for me now. They're like, they're like cracked out guys, so like make him do pushups. I feel like, would you do anything for me? They're like, I'll do anything for you, but it's so funny. You work for me now.

• 35:45Speaker 02

  It's strange too, because the buses down here are empty, like no one's on them.

• 35:48Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, you don't see people on them a lot.

• 35:50Speaker 02

  I don't think anyone really fucks with the transit down here.

• 35:52Matt McCusker?

  It's not really, it's not a big bus in town, it's more of a bus stop, people post up at the bus stop.

• 35:56Speaker 02

  Bus stops are.

• 35:57Matt McCusker?

  Bus stops are popping.

• 35:59Speaker 00

  Sleepy dogs all the time.

• 36:01Speaker 02

  People everywhere.

• 36:02Speaker 00

  Yeah, there's a lot of people at the bus stops.

• 36:03Speaker 02

  But no one's getting off or on the bus.

• 36:05Matt McCusker?

  That's crazy. Better for you.

• 36:07Speaker 02

  It's kinda like, it's like an Uber home, it's like a, it's like the top Uber.

• 36:10Matt McCusker?

  I for real like the bus, I am, part of me is like a little kid, if I get on a bus, I'm like.

• 36:15Speaker 02

  It's exciting.

• 36:15Speaker 00

  Yeah, I guess that is exciting.

• 36:17Matt McCusker?

  It is kinda.

• 36:17Speaker 00

  You're locked in too, you're like, when's my stop? Oh, fuck, oh fuck, I better not miss my stop.

• 36:21Speaker 02

  I missed my stop going to Matt's, I like looked up and was like, stop, man.

• 36:25Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, you fit, you nodded.

• 36:26Speaker 02

  I nodded.

• 36:28Matt McCusker?

  I for real.

• 36:29Speaker 00

  Woke up in Arkansas.

• 36:31Speaker 02

  I woke up at the head.

• 36:33Matt McCusker?

  I remember in Philly, the bus had one of those things, you could actually pull for your stop, I, I would just be like, hit it and be like, dude, I feel like the fucking man. I so love pulling that thing.

• 36:44Speaker 02

  And then my wife offered me the car, but like I saw the trap and I was like, no.

• 36:48Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 36:48Speaker 02

  If I take the car, then it's like.

• 36:50Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, where are you?

• 36:51Speaker 02

  I need it, I need it, oh, I need it, I thought I told you.

• 36:53Speaker 00

  I actually need it right now.

• 36:54Matt McCusker?

  Nah, the bus is freedom.

• 36:56Speaker 02

  I have to pick up a lamp at noon, no, you know, it'll be like.

• 36:58Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 36:59Speaker 02

  Oh, I forgot to tell you, I'm picking this up, can you be home by one? It's like, no.

• 37:03Matt McCusker?

  No, baby.

• 37:03Speaker 00

  It's pick up a lamp.

• 37:05Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 37:06Speaker 00

  No.

• 37:07Matt McCusker?

  You didn't tell me about this lamp? I told you about it, I am positive you didn't tell me about this.

• 37:11Speaker 02

  I did. So I was like, no, I'm out of here.

• 37:14Matt McCusker?

  Hitting the bus, baby, the B U S.

• 37:16Speaker 02

  Yep.

• 37:17Matt McCusker?

  T O M's on the B U S.

• 37:23Matt McCusker?

  I love it, man. I'm so.

• 37:24Speaker 00

  It's nice that you support your brother.

• 37:26Matt McCusker?

  A hundred percent.

• 37:27Speaker 00

  Dude, I think it is cool.

• 37:29Matt McCusker?

  I love it. I'm hitting that thing.

• 37:30Speaker 02

  Chill, bro.

• 37:31Speaker 00

  One of these days, it's not gonna be chilled.

• 37:33Speaker 02

  But that's what I'm saying. How unchill could it get?

• 37:35Speaker 00

  How unchill could the bus in Austin get?

• 37:38Speaker 02

  It's only excitement.

• 37:39Speaker 00

  A guy with a machete.

• 37:40Speaker 02

  I'd be like, bro, take a walk.

• 37:41Matt McCusker?

  Block the, block the forearm.

• 37:43Speaker 02

  I go on there, hard vibes, like.

• 37:45Speaker 00

  It's prison.

• 37:46Speaker 02

  I walk in there, I walk, dude. I take up as much space immediately.

• 37:51Speaker 00

  That's the reason it's a buck twenty-five, dude.

• 37:53Speaker 02

  Yeah, dude, it's for chillers only.

• 37:55Matt McCusker?

  Chiller's only.

• 37:56Speaker 00

  It's not for chillers.

• 37:57Matt McCusker?

  He's revamping Slack culture.

• 37:59Speaker 00

  I understand, but there's gonna be some battles to revamp Slack culture. There's gonna be some seriously bloody battles, dude.

• 38:06Speaker 02

  If the dude pulled up, I'd be like, yo, here, sit down, move over for you. Like, he'd be like, oh, thanks, bro.

• 38:10Matt McCusker?

  True.

• 38:11Speaker 02

  It's a code, dude. Once you step on, you're locked in.

• 38:13Speaker 00

  You haven't been down here long enough, city slicker.

• 38:14Speaker 02

  There's nothing down here.

• 38:15Speaker 00

  You're gonna find out, dude.

• 38:16Speaker 02

  I was in Philly for like twenty-two years. I used to deal with fucking nuts in Philly.

• 38:20Matt McCusker?

  No, the best. I mean, this is kind of a rough story, but there was your boy who was like, he would help you out, he would do stuff. Remember, uh, what's his name?

• 38:27Speaker 02

  Omar.

• 38:27Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 38:28Speaker 02

  That was my man.

• 38:28Matt McCusker?

  He's like a Moroccan dude, and he would come up there and help, but every now and again, he would get too drunk. And the dude would come in the shop and just raise hell. And I was like, coming in there to get lunch, and I see Tom kicking this, literally kicking him in the ass, and he's like, no.

• 38:43Speaker 02

  That was my fucking homie.

• 38:44Matt McCusker?

  That was your boy, though?

• 38:45Speaker 02

  That was my dude.

• 38:46Matt McCusker?

  Him and Omar were like this, and every now and then Omar would come in and just be like, he would be like cool, and then you would see him the next day, standing in the middle of the street like this to cars, going, like, controlling traffic.

• 38:56Speaker 02

  He would get hammered and just go absolute, but he was like a, um.

• 39:00Speaker 00

  I'm gonna have to bring him down here.

• 39:01Speaker 02

  Unfortunately, he's always with us.

• 39:03Speaker 00

  He passed away?

• 39:04Speaker 02

  Passed away.

• 39:04Speaker 00

  Yeah. Did the voodoo not work on one of the vehicles?

• 39:06Speaker 02

  No.

• 39:07Speaker 00

  He got hit by a bus.

• 39:08Speaker 02

  I don't.

• 39:09Matt McCusker?

  Remember his funeral?

• 39:10Speaker 02

  Yeah, his funeral was wild.

• 39:11Matt McCusker?

  That was, all their homeless dudes came up and just started talking crazy shit. Yeah.

• 39:16Speaker 00

  Spoke at the same time.

• 39:17Speaker 02

  Everyone was getting, so he.

• 39:19Speaker 00

  Everyone eulogized simultaneously.

• 39:20Speaker 02

  He was like a fixture in West Philly, right?

• 39:22Matt McCusker?

  Okay.

• 39:23Speaker 02

  He was almost for like twenty years. And like, he had like porches and places where he like kept warm clothes, and he was always dressed to the nines.

• 39:30Matt McCusker?

  He was fly.

• 39:31Speaker 02

  But he just, he didn't want to be indoors. He was an outdoor cat.

• 39:34Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 39:35Speaker 02

  He was so outside. He wanted to party, he wanted to hang out with everyone, but he just like existed in the town peacefully. But then around like eleven o'clock, would get drunk and start standing in traffic and blowing whistles and like ringing the doorbells.

• 39:48Matt McCusker?

  See a lady and be like, bitch.

• 39:50Speaker 02

  And like screaming at people.

• 39:51Matt McCusker?

  Who did he have beef with? There was a certain group, he like was, uh, cause he was like Moroccan or something.

• 39:57Speaker 02

  He had beef with most groups.

• 39:58Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, there was this one, I remember he hit me with something.

• 40:01Speaker 00

  What, another country?

• 40:02Matt McCusker?

  It was just like very strange.

• 40:04Speaker 00

  I don't fucking trust him.

• 40:06Speaker 02

  Non-Berber Moroccans.

• 40:07Matt McCusker?

  Yes.

• 40:09Speaker 02

  So the Berber people were good people, but then there was someone else in Morocco that weren't good. Then he had a lot of like, he had a lot of like American political beefs, too.

• 40:19Matt McCusker?

  Like what?

• 40:20Speaker 02

  Oh, just like whatever.

• 40:21Matt McCusker?

  A lot of them.

• 40:21Speaker 00

  Yeah. No, give me, give me.

• 40:24Speaker 02

  I mean, name one.

• 40:25Speaker 00

  What do you mean? Like, he didn't like?

• 40:27Speaker 02

  He didn't like, I don't want to speak of his past.

• 40:29Matt McCusker?

  He just didn't like any other.

• 40:31Speaker 02

  He told me these things in confidence.

• 40:31Speaker 00

  Nothing too bad, but what?

• 40:33Speaker 02

  Anyone. Like, he would go off on any.

• 40:35Speaker 00

  He hated everybody.

• 40:37Speaker 02

  Oh, and he was drunk. Yeah. Cause he was out on the street all the time, so he was observing at all times. So he would tell me exactly what every.

• 40:43Speaker 00

  He was a flock camera.

• 40:46Speaker 02

  He would tell me what every specific group was doing wrong.

• 40:48Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 40:49Speaker 02

  Cause he was observing as a Berber Moroccan.

• 40:52Speaker 00

  What did he, so he was in West Philly?

• 40:54Speaker 02

  He was in West Philly for, I want to say twenty-two years.

• 40:57Speaker 00

  So he, he observed predominantly the African-American community?

• 41:01Speaker 02

  He, yeah, he dabbled with some.

• 41:02Speaker 00

  Did he have any opinions about them?

• 41:05Speaker 02

  Uh, I can't remember, but yeah, he had some opinions.

• 41:08Matt McCusker?

  He had some opinions.

• 41:10Speaker 02

  He had some opinions on, a lot, a lot of opinions. These were just. It was so long, I don't want to try to recall them.

• 41:17Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 41:18Speaker 02

  I just remember they were specific to the point where I was like, bro, you gotta come down.

• 41:22Matt McCusker?

  But it was funny, cause he was, so he was like, you know, he was like a homeless Moroccan guy. So like, West Philly's very, it's like a very kind of like woke area. So they were like champion, championing other people in the neighborhood, cause they were very much into like, this is our neighborhood and blah, blah, blah, blah. They were like Penn students in West Philly being like, this is our neighborhood, too. And it's like, yeah, thanks to Penn Security, kind of it is, but. So they like went to his funeral, and they were like, you know, sitting there like, yeah, it's very important. And then like, his like, the dude Omar's boys came up and started saying like wild shit up there, and they were like, uh, uh. Didn't that guy start like popping off?

• 41:56Speaker 02

  The one dude started popping off, I had to pull him off.

• 41:59Speaker 00

  You, you had to pull him off the stage?

• 42:00Speaker 02

  I had to be like, bro, we're out of here.

• 42:01Matt McCusker?

  What was he popping off about?

• 42:04Speaker 00

  Just opinions.

• 42:06Speaker 02

  He was, I don't, like, he was like getting too specific about his death and stuff.

• 42:11Matt McCusker?

  Oh, shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 42:14Speaker 02

  It was, it was a fucking wild scene.

• 42:16Matt McCusker?

  He was a man, though. That dude was so funny.

• 42:18Speaker 02

  He was a good dude.

• 42:19Matt McCusker?

  He was at college?

• 42:20Speaker 02

  I used to take him with me. Like, if I had to like, if I had to go on like a two-hour-plus car ride, I would go scoop him up. I'd be like, yo, let's roll. And he'd be like, where are we going? I'm like, we're going to the fucking Jim Thorpe for a day. So we would go all the way out in the Poconos, get lunch and like chill.

• 42:32Speaker 00

  Jim Thorpe does rule.

• 42:34Speaker 02

  Fucking rules. I'd take him up there, we'd go for a hike, and then like, we'd come back, I'd drop him off.

• 42:38Speaker 00

  Take him for a hike?

• 42:39Speaker 02

  Yeah, we'd go up in the woods, and we'd go like deep out, walk around the woods, like, we'd go up to Fairmount, go for a hike. He was my dude. He would roll with me every day.

• 42:46Matt McCusker?

  You guys were tight. The scene of walking in and seeing him get kicked in the ass.

• 42:51Speaker 00

  People have to worry about you on the bus. Maybe they're locked in here with you. This episode is brought to you by AG1. Just quickly, guys, we stayed up way too late the other night doing absolutely nothing. And we had to be functioning adults the next day. We had to adult the next day. It was so hard. Parenting is so hard. Uh, that's exactly why we are extra thankful for AG1's brand new AG1 Energy Plus. It's the AG1 base we've mentioned before with vitamins, minerals, and probiotics to support your gut and immune health. Matt, take it from there.

• 43:25Matt McCusker?

  But now, Energy Plus takes it to the next level with one hundred milligrams of plant-based caffeine and L-theanine, so you get hours of focused energy support. It also comes in a new flavor, Mango Sunrise, which is my favorite flavor of AG1 yet. It tastes legitimately like a fresh mango. Dude, so good.

• 43:44Speaker 00

  Dude, so good. They wrote that. So for a limited time, visit, uh, visit drinkag1.com slash MSSP and get a free bottle of vitamin D3 and a free bottle of omega-three fish oil in your welcome kit. That's up to a hundred eleven dollars in free gifts with your first AG1 subscription. That's drinkag1.com slash MSSP.

• 44:06Matt McCusker?

  Okay, guys, guys, please, this is, oh, man, the Florida one was legendary. Thank you for everyone in Florida. Guys, this is the dreaded Newark, New Jersey show, Baltimore, Maryland combination. Uh, I heard the Baltimore, Maryland site is kind of a nightmare to navigate. Sorry about that. And yeah, these are two giant theaters. I'm gonna go eat a giant dick in both of these cities. Please come. Check it out. It'll be fun. We'll be dropping.

• 44:31Speaker 00

  It'll be good to watch.

• 44:32Matt McCusker?

  It'll be fun. We'll be dropping curtains left and right. I'll be, I'll be, probably just be me in there. Come check it out. Guys, we're gonna have a good time. Uh, Columbus, Ohio after that, Cincinnati, Ohio, San Diego, California, Sacramento, California. Please go to mattmccusker.com. Don't just Google it and pay nine million dollars for a ticket, or just DM me. Like, dude, really? Three hundred fifty dollars? It's not me. That's a third-party site. Don't be a fool. Goodbye. I, I looked.

• 44:57Speaker 02

  I'm a man of the people. That's what I'm saying. If a guy came over with a machete.

• 44:59Speaker 00

  No, no, I didn't look him up. I looked up like just crimes on the bus that happened in Austin. People, there's so many stab-ins, bro. You gotta, you gotta, people are getting stabbed on the bus.

• 45:10Speaker 02

  Not on the eight hundreds chill, though. That's probably the other ones.

• 45:13Matt McCusker?

  Carry, you gotta carry a hawk on you.

• 45:14Speaker 02

  You, I should, dude.

• 45:15Matt McCusker?

  Gotta. Carry that hawk, dude. What's your knife work like?

• 45:19Speaker 02

  I'm not carrying it. I've been pacifist since I moved here.

• 45:22Speaker 00

  You should just carry a handful of sand.

• 45:24Speaker 02

  It's not a bad idea.

• 45:28Speaker 02

  Or just like generic white powder, blowing it on people. It's a good idea.

• 45:32Matt McCusker?

  That's actually not a bad idea.

• 45:33Speaker 02

  Anthrax scare.

• 45:36Speaker 02

  Been a while since we had some good US anthrax scares. That was popping. I don't know if you're old enough to remember, dude. That was popping.

• 45:42Speaker 00

  Yeah, I remember.

• 45:43Speaker 02

  When like envelopes would open up in every federal office and white powder would get there.

• 45:47Speaker 00

  Right after nine eleven.

• 45:47Speaker 02

  It was like, it was like nine eleven, it was like the wind down of nine eleven.

• 45:51Speaker 00

  Yeah. And then they did that, and then they were like, you know who has anthrax? Iraq. And we were like, those motherfuckers. I remember those fucking envelopes.

• 45:59Speaker 02

  It's so awesome how quickly you could trick people back then, before the internet, before any debunker videos were out. You'd watch the news and be like, shit, there's a bunch of white powder ending up in all these buildings. And then you'd watch for like five days, then on Friday night, they'd hit you with, it's Iraq. You'd be like, it's Iraq!

• 46:14Speaker 00

  I should have known it was Iraq. These sons of bitches.

• 46:17Matt McCusker?

  Mailing a tiny bit in there, like, send it.

• 46:19Speaker 02

  Yeah, they're like, all right, we're going to war. And you're like, okay, we're going to war, cause Iraq had the anthrax, cause I saw that on Monday and it happened on Friday.

• 46:25Speaker 00

  Mail it to Tim Brokoff or whatever.

• 46:27Speaker 02

  Yeah, like, they just get some dude to be like, we've tracked it down to Iraq.

• 46:30Matt McCusker?

  Also, it worked for like a hundred and fifty thousand years.

• 46:34Speaker 00

  Still works.

• 46:34Matt McCusker?

  The bad guys?

• 46:35Speaker 00

  Still works.

• 46:35Speaker 02

  Dude, now they have it on hyper, hit the button. They're like freak out about, boom.

• 46:40Matt McCusker?

  Yeah. But it's too, now it's so tricky, cause everyone's gonna be like, no, I looked into it, it's bullshit. And you're like.

• 46:44Speaker 02

  Yeah, but then you're immediately.

• 46:45Speaker 00

  Everyone's looking into everything.

• 46:47Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 46:47Speaker 02

  And you're cast down the other thing.

• 46:49Speaker 00

  So you go, I don't believe you.

• 46:52Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 46:52Speaker 00

  I believe the news now.

• 46:54Matt McCusker?

  I mean, yeah, the Iran war, you know, the, well, I wouldn't even call it a war, since we're gonna, dude, our boys are gonna be in and out there in one week. We're gonna be getting there.

• 47:00Speaker 02

  It's effectively over.

• 47:02Matt McCusker?

  But yeah, it's over, dude.

• 47:03Speaker 02

  The Iran war is effectively over.

• 47:05Speaker 00

  It's on pause again.

• 47:07Matt McCusker?

  But it's also.

• 47:08Speaker 02

  Kegs is on the case.

• 47:10Matt McCusker?

  I mean, nobody wanted that. Nobody wanted.

• 47:13Speaker 02

  Wanted any war since like World War II.

• 47:14Matt McCusker?

  True, but I've still been trying to puzzle like.

• 47:17Speaker 00

  Iraq, we were fired up.

• 47:18Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 47:19Speaker 00

  Afghanistan was a hundred percent.

• 47:21Speaker 02

  I forgot about that. Everyone was like, you know, even.

• 47:23Matt McCusker?

  Afghanistan, they kind of. Well, they did Iraq, and then Afghanistan kind of snuck in, kind of like.

• 47:28Speaker 02

  Yeah, they were just kind of like, yeah.

• 47:28Matt McCusker?

  While we're here, let's pop over here.

• 47:30Speaker 00

  Afghanistan was first.

• 47:31Matt McCusker?

  First, and then Iraq.

• 47:32Speaker 02

  Well, no, it was Iraq.

• 47:33Speaker 00

  It was Afghanistan right away.

• 47:35Speaker 02

  OG Iraq, though, it was Gulf War.

• 47:36Speaker 00

  Oh, nineties, yeah.

• 47:37Speaker 02

  So we hit ninety-two Iraq.

• 47:38Matt McCusker?

  That was a morale boost, though.

• 47:40Speaker 02

  And then we went and did Afghanistan, and then we went back to Iraq.

• 47:43Speaker 00

  But Iraq, the first one was they were invading Kuwait.

• 47:47Speaker 02

  Yeah, they were.

• 47:48Speaker 00

  We kind of, kind of held it down.

• 47:50Speaker 02

  Kind of.

• 47:51Speaker 00

  And then didn't go into Iraq after we took Kuwait, or saved Kuwait. That was one of the, that was one of the George W, or George Bush.

• 47:59Speaker 02

  That was HW.

• 47:59Speaker 00

  Those seniors.

• 48:00Speaker 02

  Yeah. That must have been sick to call your dad and be like.

• 48:03Speaker 00

  I'm gonna finish the job, dude.

• 48:04Speaker 02

  I'm going back to Iraq. He's like, that's my boy?

• 48:05Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 48:07Matt McCusker?

  How did that go? Are we good?

• 48:10Speaker 02

  What?

• 48:10Matt McCusker?

  Well, Iraq's good. That was a major success.

• 48:13Speaker 00

  Iraq's chilling, dude.

• 48:14Matt McCusker?

  Is it good?

• 48:14Speaker 02

  Remember when he did the whole mission accomplished thing?

• 48:16Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 48:17Matt McCusker?

  Yes.

• 48:17Speaker 02

  And he came out and was like, the war zone and it was raging. It's like, mission accomplished. It was like a TV show.

• 48:23Speaker 00

  It was, it was a big victory.

• 48:26Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, huge. I'm trying to figure out, why did Trump go to Iran? Cause he has to know that it was gonna like completely train rail or train wreck his favorability.

• 48:36Speaker 00

  Bro, we cut off the oil to China. They can't invade Taiwan now. They had to dip into their reserves. It's why we got rid of Venezuela. It's why we shut down Hormuz. It's why we have Ukraine bombing Russian refineries. We're making sure China doesn't get the oil. So they cannot invade Taiwan.

• 48:51Matt McCusker?

  You think it's 4D?

• 48:53Speaker 00

  8D chess at this point. You go, is he retarded? No, he's not. Is he retarded? There's so many D's in the chess. Is he retarded? Yes. Is he retarded? Yes.

• 49:04Speaker 02

  I read a thing where some people are positive.

• 49:09Speaker 02

  Some people think that Trump has fallen to like the AI boomer brain and he's just sitting up at night like hitting Grok being like, should I do this? And Grok's like, you're a genius. Do this.

• 49:18Matt McCusker?

  Learn more about.

• 49:19Speaker 00

  Grok and Yahoo.

• 49:22Matt McCusker?

  Grok and Yahoo.

• 49:23Speaker 00

  He's hitting Grok and Yahoo at night.

• 49:25Speaker 02

  Grok was just going right to Netanyahu. Funny, you should ask that, Donald.

• 49:30Matt McCusker?

  It's just him.

• 49:32Speaker 00

  Do it, pussy.

• 49:33Speaker 02

  What's the vibe, Donald?

• 49:34Matt McCusker?

  That's funny. If, if, uh, or Trump's Grok voice is like, yes, very good, Donald. Yes.

• 49:41Matt McCusker?

  I think that's a great decision.

• 49:42Speaker 02

  He just cut off the funding to Israel or something. I only see like.

• 49:44Speaker 00

  He said he was gonna do it, dude. 9D chess. Is he retarded? No?

• 49:47Speaker 02

  No.

• 49:48Speaker 00

  He's gonna cut off Israel funding now. Next week you go, oh, we doubled the, I doubled the size of it, you dumb person.

• 49:55Matt McCusker?

  Did he double the size of it?

• 49:56Speaker 00

  He probably will. Who knows?

• 49:57Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, true.

• 49:59Speaker 00

  I'm still stuck on the quiet. The quiet's my favorite.

• 50:01Matt McCusker?

  The quiet is nice.

• 50:03Speaker 02

  Yeah, he's like, quiet.

• 50:04Speaker 00

  Quiet.

• 50:04Speaker 02

  Quiet. What's wrong with you?

• 50:07Matt McCusker?

  Isn't Netanyahu out? Isn't he, didn't he get voted out now?

• 50:09Speaker 00

  No.

• 50:10Speaker 02

  I don't know.

• 50:11Matt McCusker?

  Those, they did an election in Russia apparently. And it's like, dude.

• 50:14Speaker 02

  Soon as Rico, as soon as Rico and Gina landed, I stopped paying attention.

• 50:19Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, it's a.

• 50:20Speaker 02

  Soon as I saw Rico and Gina, I was like, I'm done.

• 50:23Matt McCusker?

  Who's Rico and Gina?

• 50:24Speaker 02

  Fucking.

• 50:24Speaker 00

  Talarico.

• 50:25Speaker 02

  Talarico and Gina.

• 50:26Matt McCusker?

  You're not.

• 50:27Speaker 02

  Back my weed.

• 50:28Speaker 00

  As soon as you came down here, dude, the blue wave.

• 50:30Matt McCusker?

  You brought the blue wave. The goon wave. It is the goon wave. It's the goo wave.

• 50:35Speaker 02

  I can't wait for that press conference.

• 50:37Speaker 00

  Weed. Bus is definitely gonna be a dollar now. They're gonna drop 25.

• 50:40Speaker 02

  I can't wait till Rico. Who do you, who?

• 50:42Matt McCusker?

  You probably blaze on the bus.

• 50:44Speaker 02

  Who gives us porn back? Talarico or Gina Hinojosa?

• 50:47Matt McCusker?

  I kinda wanna back from a girl. I don't want a guy to give it back.

• 50:49Speaker 00

  Gina Hinojosa.

• 50:53Speaker 02

  But who's the one that lifts the porn ban?

• 50:55Speaker 00

  Talarico.

• 50:56Speaker 02

  Talarico or Hinojosa?

• 50:57Matt McCusker?

  They'll probably do it together. It's probably one of those things where they all have.

• 51:03Speaker 02

  Dude, the gooners are gonna go, I think the gooners made the election.

• 51:06Matt McCusker?

  You think so?

• 51:07Speaker 02

  I think Texas.

• 51:07Speaker 00

  I mean, you take away, you take away Pornhub, dude. You're gonna get some grumpy goodies.

• 51:11Speaker 02

  Are the ones who fucking.

• 51:13Matt McCusker?

  Oh, also the fact that.

• 51:14Speaker 02

  They'll bust if Rico gives it back to, if their bully gives it back to them, they're gonna bust.

• 51:18Matt McCusker?

  True.

• 51:19Speaker 02

  If.

• 51:20Matt McCusker?

  Mommy?

• 51:20Speaker 02

  Step mommy gives it back.

• 51:24Speaker 00

  Yeah, I'm, I'm excited to jerk off now. Thank you. This is great. I didn't think about.

• 51:29Speaker 02

  Rico gave it back though.

• 51:30Speaker 00

  No, I will, I refuse. Talarico's the one that's like, here's your porn. Ew, dude.

• 51:34Speaker 02

  What if he's like, yo, bro? What if he like grows down?

• 51:37Speaker 00

  Throwback like older brother sitch.

• 51:39Speaker 02

  Throws down like, yeah, here's your.

• 51:40Speaker 00

  Check this shit out.

• 51:41Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 51:42Speaker 00

  I might, I might tip the cowboy hat to him.

• 51:45Speaker 02

  I just wanna know who is holding the press conference where they're like, you have the right to go on porn.

• 51:50Speaker 00

  There will be no press conference.

• 51:52Speaker 02

  You don't have to stick with X hamster.

• 51:54Speaker 00

  It'll be, dude, it'll be within.

• 51:57Speaker 02

  I know you're sick of those pop ups too, bro.

• 51:59Speaker 00

  It will be within one second of Pornhub being back up that all of us know.

• 52:06Speaker 00

  One dude in this crew is gonna be on the case within fucking one second.

• 52:11Speaker 02

  I just wanna know who's got that hitting their desk where it's like, yo.

• 52:15Matt McCusker?

  They're on it.

• 52:16Speaker 02

  Are you hitting the on switch back on?

• 52:17Matt McCusker?

  Yeah. Who gets to do, who gets to open up the Mad Max floodgate?

• 52:23Speaker 02

  Texas is gonna go goo.

• 52:26Speaker 00

  It'd be some flash floods, dude.

• 52:30Speaker 02

  McKinney's gonna start flowing again.

• 52:32Matt McCusker?

  You're gonna make a Jurassic Park water shake. You'll hear.

• 52:38Speaker 02

  Everyone busts that day.

• 52:41Speaker 00

  Yeah, it's gonna be wild.

• 52:41Matt McCusker?

  It's gonna be like a holiday. Yeah. And the blaze.

• 52:43Speaker 02

  But like, they're gonna have to, one of the offices is gonna have to be.

• 52:46Matt McCusker?

  They will, dude.

• 52:48Speaker 02

  Someone wants that sub political cred.

• 52:50Matt McCusker?

  Yes.

• 52:51Speaker 02

  You know what I mean? Someone wants next election season come by and someone to be like.

• 52:55Matt McCusker?

  You'll know. You're gonna open up your kid's iPad one day and you're gonna go, boom. It's like the default screen.

• 53:01Speaker 02

  It's gonna be like a video that tried to load two years ago. You're like, oh shit, it's back.

• 53:07Speaker 00

  Damn, I forgot. I mean, I didn't even think of the blue wave hitting.

• 53:10Speaker 02

  Probably got like a, a window.

• 53:12Speaker 00

  We're back in business on the road. Now anytime you stop into a hotel, you go, fuck, I forgot I'm in Tennessee. Fucking bullshit conservatives.

• 53:19Matt McCusker?

  Is Tennessee blue wave too?

• 53:20Speaker 00

  I don't know.

• 53:21Speaker 02

  I think blue wave hit every state.

• 53:22Speaker 00

  Blue wave hit every.

• 53:23Speaker 02

  You take the porn back and people start voting again.

• 53:25Speaker 00

  We're back in business.

• 53:26Matt McCusker?

  Dude, if Texas passes that thing you showed me where you can just grow your own plants.

• 53:29Speaker 02

  They're gonna let you grow weed in your backyard.

• 53:31Matt McCusker?

  That would be.

• 53:31Speaker 02

  She'll be able to like pop some seeds, go in, crank one out, come out, put some water on them, hop on the bus, get a free meal.

• 53:38Matt McCusker?

  Bro.

• 53:39Speaker 02

  This time next year, I'm gonna like, wake up.

• 53:42Matt McCusker?

  Bro, I might be, I might be even four years. I might be masked up, dude. I might be full K95. Just.

• 53:47Speaker 02

  You're gonna be able to like, wake up, crank.

• 53:49Matt McCusker?

  I'll be a lesbian bar like, get out of here, she was better.

• 53:53Speaker 02

  You're gonna be able to wake up, crank, go outside, like fucking lollipop your buds, hop on the bus, go to a free grocery store, come back, smoke, goon.

• 54:02Speaker 00

  Also, open carry.

• 54:04Speaker 02

  Open carry the whole time.

• 54:05Speaker 00

  Open carry, fucking assault rifle and mask up.

• 54:08Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, I was relying on like far out tech bros. I thought they were gonna finally be like, all right, we're gonna bring weed to Texas, but now the blue wave is, they're gonna do it.

• 54:16Speaker 02

  The blue wave did it, dude.

• 54:17Matt McCusker?

  I get my personal indica plant in my backyard.

• 54:22Matt McCusker?

  I think he and Hinojosa will let us do it.

• 54:24Speaker 02

  What, the weed or the porn?

• 54:28Matt McCusker?

  Oh yeah, she's the gov, she's above. She's Talarico's boss.

• 54:31Speaker 02

  I didn't know who banned the porn though. Was it Abbott?

• 54:34Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, I think a lot of them did.

• 54:35Speaker 00

  Damn. Yeah.

• 54:37Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, I think, I think Waskely Abbott did that.

• 54:42Matt McCusker?

  I think he banned the pee.

• 54:44Speaker 00

  He was a little wascal though.

• 54:45Matt McCusker?

  He's a double zero of the pee.

• 54:48Speaker 02

  I'm all about the porn ban in the streets, but in the sheets. I'm, I'm totally blue.

• 54:52Matt McCusker?

  You want porn in the streets?

• 54:53Speaker 02

  No, I wanna walk around and be like, yeah, this is good that we have this block for these kids. Then as soon as I get home, everyone like, wife has to go to the supermarket. I go quick, blue wave. I'm like, it's fucking porn banned.

• 55:03Speaker 00

  Yeah, blue wave real quick.

• 55:04Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, take that Republicans.

• 55:05Speaker 02

  As soon as I hit her with the like, yo, are you checking out yet? She's like, no, I just got to Hebb. I'm like.

• 55:10Matt McCusker?

  Dude, for real, when I'm in, when I'm in like that peak pinnacle of orgasm, I think about the blue wave and then I go, ah, and I go to another level. I go, yes.

• 55:18Speaker 02

  I was, last summer, I was like at the pool with all my cousins. I'm not gonna say who, but I heard one of my girl cousins get porn checked.

• 55:25Matt McCusker?

  Stop.

• 55:26Speaker 02

  She got a call and was like, it was like 2pm and she's like, no, we just got to the pool. They just hopped in. Um, yeah, I don't know what we want for dinner.

• 55:33Matt McCusker?

  Oh, you meant.

• 55:34Speaker 02

  Like she was getting a call and then she, I'm like, your husband's about to jerk off. He was like, oh, did you just get to your mom's?

• 55:40Speaker 00

  Dude.

• 55:41Speaker 02

  Oh, I was just seeing what you wanna do for dinner. He doesn't give a fuck about dinner. He wants to know if he can get the coconut.

• 55:45Speaker 00

  I forgot about it. I didn't even, I forgot all about those porn checks, dude.

• 55:49Speaker 02

  Dude.

• 55:50Speaker 00

  Calling my mom and dad. Yeah. Like, where are you guys? I just got home from school. I was just wondering like, what are we doing? What are we doing anyway?

• 55:58Speaker 02

  What are we doing for dinner?

• 56:01Speaker 02

  But yeah, it was like a call.

• 56:02Matt McCusker?

  We're gonna watch something on the big TV. I'd say what time he got you.

• 56:05Speaker 02

  Dude, it was a call and it was like, no, yeah, we just got here. No, I had to go to Whole Foods first. No, yeah, they just got in the pool. You'll probably swim for like two hours. I don't know what we're gonna do for dinner. I'm like, yeah, someone's at home wondering like, does this have to be a quick one or can I get out the oils?

• 56:20Speaker 00

  Can I bring out the oils? Get some volume on this motherfucker?

• 56:23Matt McCusker?

  He was probably, he was probably mid like slow crank.

• 56:27Speaker 00

  All the were full.

• 56:27Speaker 02

  I think he was firing one up. It was like, yo, how into this can I get? Like how quick? He was like, how quick do I have to pick, babe?

• 56:33Matt McCusker?

  True. Am I watching the shorties or?

• 56:39Speaker 02

  Is this gonna be a multi-tab sesh or what? And she basically graced him with like, bro, you got two in you.

• 56:46Matt McCusker?

  You got two hours.

• 56:47Speaker 00

  You're gonna get a quick one in real quick. Two days.

• 56:51Speaker 02

  You might be able to go twice, dude.

• 56:53Matt McCusker?

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• 56:58Speaker 00

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• 56:58Matt McCusker?

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• 57:35Matt McCusker?

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• 58:51Matt McCusker?

  I got my call, I busted my college roommate because he was hitting me, he was like, oh, you're gonna eat? Go to the cafeteria? He's like, alright.

• 58:57Speaker 02

  You knew he was go check in?

• 58:58Matt McCusker?

  You got class after that? And I was like, yeah, man, I'm like, what are you, I was like, yeah. Wanna go to eat, then I got a class? And he's like, yeah, I'm gonna probably lay down, take a nap, it's 10 a.m. I was like, bro, you're about to fap.

• 59:07Speaker 02

  Did you go in?

• 59:08Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, I fucking walked out, gave him like two seconds and walked back in. He was like, oh, and he flipped over on his bed, like, what are you doing in here, man? I busted his ass.

• 59:16Speaker 02

  Dude, that's 18 chess.

• 59:17Matt McCusker?

  That is kinky chess. But I was like, I was just like to break his balls. And I was just like, bro, I know exactly what you're doing right now. And I was like, nobody naps at 10 a.m.

• 59:24Speaker 02

  I heard that call and I was just like, it's took everything in me not to be like.

• 59:28Matt McCusker?

  I'm surprised you didn't run home and go.

• 59:29Speaker 00

  Go home right now. Yeah.

• 59:30Matt McCusker?

  You should have ran home and goon. It's like, bro, he's triggering me.

• 59:36Speaker 00

  I told you about when I caught the whack-off king.

• 59:38Speaker 02

  No.

• 59:38Speaker 00

  The whack-off king, you're, you're gonna enjoy this. This is one of my all time.

• 59:41Speaker 02

  Who's the whack-off king?

• 59:41Speaker 00

  He's a buddy of mine. And we were on, we were on vacation together. And me and him had our own hotel room and every day, he was, he was like two years younger than me. And he would go take a shower for like an hour, every time. And every time I'd be like, dude, you're jacking off, it's fine. He's like, no, I'm not.

• 59:58Matt McCusker?

  I remember this.

• 59:59Speaker 00

  Then finally on the last day, he gets in the shower, I break open the door, swing open the curtain, the shower's empty. He snuck into the wardrobe closet behind. And I opened the door and he was ass naked, sitting on top of a trunk, just flipping it. Wasn't even jacking it, he was just hitting it up and down like, I'll, I'll never forget just seeing him like.

• 1:00:22Speaker 00

  Gave it a second and then I was like.

• 1:00:23Speaker 02

  How old were you?

• 1:00:24Speaker 00

  I was in eighth grade, he was in seventh.

• 1:00:27Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:00:28Speaker 00

  I opened the door, I go, what are you doing?

• 1:00:32Speaker 02

  So he went in the bathroom, locked it?

• 1:00:34Speaker 00

  Every night, he was, yeah, he was locking the bathroom door, turning the shower on and jacking off in the closet.

• 1:00:39Speaker 02

  Going in the closet, god damn, that's a legendary note.

• 1:00:42Speaker 00

  He did get, he did get revenge on me, uh, four years later in Jamaica.

• 1:00:47Speaker 02

  He caught you?

• 1:00:48Speaker 00

  Caught me, but I was very open about it. I was, I was drinking, he wanted to blaze the, blaze the crone with the staff. I said, I can't smoke, dude, I'm about to head to West Point.

• 1:00:57Speaker 02

  How long have you been smoking for?

• 1:00:59Speaker 00

  And then I, uh, I said, I'm gonna go jack off. And then I passed out while jacking off, locked the door.

• 1:01:06Speaker 02

  So like the guy in Pompeii, you were?

• 1:01:08Speaker 00

  Full Pompeii, except 300 pounds, ass naked on the couch.

• 1:01:14Speaker 02

  Oh.

• 1:01:15Speaker 00

  And, uh, he said, he went.

• 1:01:17Speaker 02

  Were you like gripping and sleeping?

• 1:01:17Speaker 00

  Gripping a penis.

• 1:01:18Speaker 02

  He probably shrunk back.

• 1:01:19Speaker 00

  A penis, a penis, he probably couldn't see anything.

• 1:01:22Matt McCusker?

  Damn, a prairie dog back in the hole.

• 1:01:26Speaker 00

  Oscar the grouch, dude, he went back in the can.

• 1:01:31Speaker 00

  He had to get a hotel guy to open the door because I locked it.

• 1:01:34Speaker 02

  Oh.

• 1:01:34Speaker 00

  Jamaica dude, opened the door, it was like, oh.

• 1:01:39Speaker 00

  So he got his revenge, four years later.

• 1:01:42Speaker 02

  Jesus, it came, dude. It comes for all of us.

• 1:01:45Speaker 00

  Yeah, if you, if you, yeah, you're gonna get caught, you keep, you know, I'm sure you got caught a couple of times after that.

• 1:01:51Matt McCusker?

  Oh, who?

• 1:01:51Speaker 00

  Yeah, the karma after.

• 1:01:53Matt McCusker?

  Ah, if you bust someone like that? I, I've been caught so many times, dude. I fucked my, I got called in by Brittany, like, early dating, several times.

• 1:02:02Speaker 00

  Early dating?

• 1:02:03Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, she busted me in her house. She like left to go, dude, I thought she was gonna be gone for a while. And I woke up, I was all there, I was like, nice, I was like, I'm gonna fucking crack one off. I was sitting on the edge of her bed and she just was like, what are you doing? And I was like, I had my phone in my hand, just beating, I'm like, oh.

• 1:02:16Speaker 02

  What, you stayed the night at her house and she got up and went to work?

• 1:02:23Matt McCusker?

  You fucking busted my ass.

• 1:02:24Speaker 00

  Cracking off at a girl's house is nice.

• 1:02:26Speaker 02

  That's awesome.

• 1:02:27Speaker 00

  In a girl's room?

• 1:02:29Speaker 02

  That's only a good story because you guys got married. If that was just some single out in the wild, it was like, yeah, dude, I dated that guy for a little bit and he used to jerk off at my house.

• 1:02:38Matt McCusker?

  My, my, my UK tour would have been halted, bro.

• 1:02:43Speaker 02

  That's five years in the UK, dude.

• 1:02:45Matt McCusker?

  I had an ankle monitor.

• 1:02:48Speaker 02

  It was like, yeah, me and that guy dated for a little bit, but I came home one day and he was masturbating in my bed.

• 1:02:52Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 1:02:54Speaker 02

  We had just had sex too.

• 1:02:55Matt McCusker?

  Ass was sweating all over my comforter, sitting up on you.

• 1:02:59Speaker 02

  It's all dissolved.

• 1:03:01Matt McCusker?

  She was always a champ about that, she would bust me and she would kind of laugh, I'm like, what the fuck are you doing? I'm like, oh. She's like, you should, you were just hunched over your phone like, and she made the face, I was like, don't ever make that face.

• 1:03:09Speaker 02

  Don't ever mock me again.

• 1:03:11Speaker 00

  Is the honeymoon phase over or does she still get a kick out of it?

• 1:03:13Matt McCusker?

  She laughs, she'll, she'll get it, yeah.

• 1:03:15Speaker 02

  If she still catches you in the day?

• 1:03:16Speaker 00

  I thought you got in trouble for sneaking to the collar.

• 1:03:17Matt McCusker?

  No, so she's never caught me. If she catches me red handed, she'll get mad if she's like, when's the last time? Every now and again, she's like, when's the last time you beat off? And I'll be like, two days ago, she's like, why? Like, why do you think?

• 1:03:30Speaker 02

  I'm gonna get into this.

• 1:03:30Matt McCusker?

  So you're nice. Yeah, I'm like, I just.

• 1:03:32Speaker 00

  Oh, do you wanna fight right now?

• 1:03:33Speaker 02

  Just be like, yo, I'm nice.

• 1:03:34Matt McCusker?

  I just did, yeah, I just had to. I just had to.

• 1:03:37Speaker 00

  Cause I felt like it and there's been a, there's been a mandate, there's been a blue wave.

• 1:03:41Matt McCusker?

  True, there's a blue wave. Also, it's like, you think I fucking want to?

• 1:03:48Matt McCusker?

  No, she's a, I, I, they can tell though, if you're fapped out, I've got busted to where she's like, bro, what's up with the dick?

• 1:03:55Speaker 00

  Yeah, you're not giving me, you're not giving me the best effort.

• 1:03:58Matt McCusker?

  I'm fapped out, bruh.

• 1:03:59Speaker 02

  You're just like, sorry, I'm fucking.

• 1:04:00Matt McCusker?

  I'm fapped out.

• 1:04:01Speaker 02

  I'm drained.

• 1:04:01Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, I'm fapped out, my bad.

• 1:04:02Speaker 00

  You drained the swamp.

• 1:04:04Matt McCusker?

  I just assumed nothing was happening for a couple of days, now I'm fapped out.

• 1:04:08Speaker 02

  Quiet, quiet.

• 1:04:11Matt McCusker?

  Quiet. The best is when you.

• 1:04:13Speaker 02

  Trump's never jerked.

• 1:04:14Matt McCusker?

  Is that what he claims?

• 1:04:15Speaker 02

  Claims never jerked.

• 1:04:16Speaker 00

  He claims to never jerk.

• 1:04:16Speaker 02

  Claims never jerked.

• 1:04:17Speaker 00

  There's no way.

• 1:04:18Speaker 02

  Never been drunk, never racked one out, I believe him.

• 1:04:20Speaker 00

  He said he never jacked off.

• 1:04:21Speaker 02

  I believe that that man says.

• 1:04:22Speaker 00

  He said he never jacked off.

• 1:04:23Speaker 02

  He's a psycho.

• 1:04:24Speaker 00

  Wait, he said he never jacked off?

• 1:04:26Speaker 02

  He claims I've never, he said it on Stern.

• 1:04:27Speaker 00

  Stern, that makes sense.

• 1:04:28Speaker 02

  He was like, I've never done that.

• 1:04:33Speaker 00

  Yeah, that's such a little kid lie.

• 1:04:35Speaker 02

  I believe Trump's never done.

• 1:04:36Speaker 00

  That one is, that one's 9D chess, I believe that.

• 1:04:39Speaker 02

  He, because you gotta think what year he was born.

• 1:04:41Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 1:04:42Speaker 02

  And he's like, I would believe, it's the one thing he'd say that I would look at and be like, you look like you've never jerked off.

• 1:04:48Matt McCusker?

  Back in the day, I remember, I read Bertrand Russell's biography or autobiography and he claims that like, being a masturbator, like if someone did it when they were like a little child, you'd be like, that's weird, but like forgiven. But if as an adult masturbator, it was like, dude, what the fuck are you doing? It was like really looked at.

• 1:05:06Speaker 00

  I think it's a fib. I think back then they just were like, none of us jerked off.

• 1:05:10Matt McCusker?

  Why could they crank? They all had like 10 kids.

• 1:05:13Speaker 02

  There's always a time to crank, dude.

• 1:05:14Matt McCusker?

  I don't think so, I think, I think they would like, they would just.

• 1:05:16Speaker 00

  You could walk down the stream and be like, I need to think.

• 1:05:20Speaker 02

  That's why you stayed out of alleys and stuff, cause like dudes were back there cranking. And like the land was so undeveloped that like you'd have a favorite tree, where you'd be like, oh, here's the old hickory.

• 1:05:32Speaker 02

  There were like trees that you knew.

• 1:05:34Matt McCusker?

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:05:35Speaker 00

  Don't look around that tree.

• 1:05:36Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:05:37Speaker 00

  Wide trunk.

• 1:05:38Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, the porn in the woods, that would make, that would make sense out of that.

• 1:05:40Speaker 02

  Or just if like part of your daily commute was like a walk through the meadow, you'd be like.

• 1:05:45Speaker 00

  Yeah, I bet guys back then got used to walking jacks.

• 1:05:48Speaker 02

  Probably, even if you get into like.

• 1:05:50Speaker 00

  Has anyone hit a walking jack?

• 1:05:51Speaker 02

  What year was Bertrand Russell?

• 1:05:53Speaker 00

  I've never even considered a walking jack.

• 1:05:54Speaker 02

  Walking jack.

• 1:05:56Matt McCusker?

  Bertrand Russell's a mathematician.

• 1:05:58Speaker 02

  But what year would that have been?

• 1:05:59Matt McCusker?

  Oh, man. Early.

• 1:06:02Speaker 02

  Why'd he bring this up? And he was definitely masturbating, he was like writing a book about math, he's like, I never jerk off.

• 1:06:07Matt McCusker?

  He was just saying like the shit he did that he was ashamed of and he was like, he fapped a couple of times, he was pissed about that. And he used to like lay, he used to dig a ditch, cause he grew up in like, he was like a gentleman's house. So he would like, he dug a ditch where he would lay in it with the servant girls and they would like press their bodies on each other. And he was like, that was kind of fucked. Yeah, he like dug a little like.

• 1:06:24Speaker 02

  Power dynamic, I can see.

• 1:06:25Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, he dug, exactly. He dug a hump dish that he would like find the servant girls, like, come lay in this, and he would just lay in it.

• 1:06:31Speaker 02

  What year was he kicking around? What year was Bertrand Russell kicking around?

• 1:06:34Matt McCusker?

  Look it up, maybe early 1900s, I would say.

• 1:06:38Matt McCusker?

  He was one of the like, big dogs of early mathematicians.

• 1:06:41Speaker 02

  Yeah, he probably just didn't talk about it ever.

• 1:06:44Matt McCusker?

  He wrote about it, freaky.

• 1:06:45Speaker 02

  But I'm saying like back when he said like.

• 1:06:46Speaker 00

  In the writing, he was like, nobody was jacking off.

• 1:06:48Speaker 02

  No one's doing this.

• 1:06:49Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 1:06:49Speaker 00

  I think they were afraid to be open.

• 1:06:50Matt McCusker?

  True.

• 1:06:51Speaker 02

  A code across the bros where none of them told their ladies they did.

• 1:06:54Matt McCusker?

  He's still alive?

• 1:06:56Speaker 02

  When he died?

• 1:06:59Speaker 05

  Born in 1872, died in 1970.

• 1:07:03Speaker 02

  Damn, 98.

• 1:07:04Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:07:04Speaker 02

  Put up Dick Van Dyke numbers.

• 1:07:05Matt McCusker?

  What was his big contribution? Didn't he help write like, I think he helped write like a big math book? Those mathematicians, weird as fuck.

• 1:07:12Speaker 05

  I'm trying to.

• 1:07:13Matt McCusker?

  Did you ever get real into like mathematics of like the axioms and like what's real?

• 1:07:17Speaker 02

  I realize I hated math in like sixth grade.

• 1:07:19Matt McCusker?

  I like, I like deep math theory, I hate math, I hate practice, I hate like the application of math, but I love mathematical theory.

• 1:07:25Speaker 02

  I'm the opposite, like I like counting like how many apples I have to put in my bag. But like anything other than that, anything that goes past my fingers, I'm like, I don't need it.

• 1:07:33Matt McCusker?

  True, I'm, I'm on some Terrence Harris shit. I don't, I don't think, I think one times one is two.

• 1:07:38Speaker 02

  I'm with that, he's in that pimp game too, dude.

• 1:07:39Speaker 00

  Yeah, he's pimp.

• 1:07:40Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, he's pimping.

• 1:07:41Speaker 02

  That might have been his finest film.

• 1:07:43Matt McCusker?

  What?

• 1:07:44Speaker 02

  Oh, Hustle and Flow?

• 1:07:45Matt McCusker?

  Hustle and Flow, that, that was awesome.

• 1:07:48Speaker 00

  He dropped penis in that movie too.

• 1:07:50Matt McCusker?

  Did he really?

• 1:07:50Speaker 02

  Did he?

• 1:07:51Speaker 00

  Well, he dropped penis in a movie. I think it was that. Didn't he get in a fight in the prison shower in Hustle and Flow?

• 1:07:59Speaker 02

  Hustle and Flow is fantastic. I don't remember seeing his dick in it, though.

• 1:08:02Matt McCusker?

  He kind of slightly reprised that role.

• 1:08:03Speaker 00

  He dropped penis in that movie, but I believe the man's dropped penis.

• 1:08:08Matt McCusker?

  What was the, uh, what was the show he did where he like played Lucius Lyon? It was Hustle and Flows, then he played like basically.

• 1:08:15Speaker 02

  Wasn't the one with, wasn't he in the show where Jussie Smollett got?

• 1:08:20Matt McCusker?

  Yes, Jussie Smollett was his son.

• 1:08:22Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:08:22Speaker 00

  Oh, it was Get Rich or Die Trying. He dropped penis.

• 1:08:24Speaker 02

  Did he really? In the 50 Cent movie?

• 1:08:27Matt McCusker?

  Bro, getting Terrence Howard to drop penis in your film is fucking powerful.

• 1:08:32Matt McCusker?

  Like, what's in your movie, like, Terrence Howard's dick?

• 1:08:34Speaker 02

  That is a fucking power move. Empire. Empire is where Jussie Smollett got allegedly attacked.

• 1:08:41Matt McCusker?

  No, well, you're saying filming or you're saying his story?

• 1:08:43Speaker 02

  No, no, he was, I think it was during when he was on Empire.

• 1:08:46Matt McCusker?

  Filming, yeah. Oh, yeah, fuck the whole show up, kind of.

• 1:08:49Speaker 02

  I think it tanked the show. I don't remember. I didn't follow Empire at all. I don't follow.

• 1:08:53Matt McCusker?

  It's a great show.

• 1:08:53Speaker 02

  Empire, math, deep mathematics, neither one of them really ring my bell.

• 1:08:57Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, true. But, yeah, Jussie Smollett really blew it for the whole Empire cast. They put the whole cast in a pickle because it's like, that's supposed to be your boy. He comes up with that and you can't.

• 1:09:07Speaker 02

  That was a wild one.

• 1:09:08Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:09:09Matt McCusker?

  I remember the day of being like, in Chicago, like, I've been to Chicago a lot. I was like, I don't think so, man.

• 1:09:17Speaker 00

  Of course.

• 1:09:17Matt McCusker?

  They're not really getting down like that there.

• 1:09:19Speaker 00

  It was in, like, literally as soon as the story came out, I was like, no shot.

• 1:09:22Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 1:09:23Speaker 00

  Zero chance.

• 1:09:24Matt McCusker?

  They're like Patagonia whites up in Chicago. They're not like, we're not.

• 1:09:30Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, I was like, this is not.

• 1:09:31Speaker 02

  He just picked the wrong city. If he had been like, yo, I was deep in Arkansas somewhere, I'd be like, that might have happened, bro.

• 1:09:36Matt McCusker?

  Yeah. Yeah, I remember my tip off was the noose left around. I was like, well, nobody would leave a noose around their neck like that.

• 1:09:43Speaker 02

  Yeah, and like walk back in and be like, what happened?

• 1:09:45Matt McCusker?

  I'm glad you're here, officer. Did you see this on my neck? It's like, I'm pretty sure you'd take that off.

• 1:09:50Speaker 02

  Did they ever figure out what his, like, MO was?

• 1:09:53Matt McCusker?

  He did a documentary. Did anyone watch the documentary? Because apparently he tried to do like an after the fact documentary to like show how he was innocent. It really happened.

• 1:10:00Speaker 02

  He's still holding down no cat.

• 1:10:01Matt McCusker?

  He still holds it down. He's like the civil rights champion of the world.

• 1:10:04Speaker 02

  Damn, that's a wild quest.

• 1:10:07Matt McCusker?

  I mean, you can't ever take it back.

• 1:10:08Speaker 00

  But they found the two bros that got him.

• 1:10:10Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, they were like.

• 1:10:10Speaker 00

  That he hired. It was bodybuilding Nigerians.

• 1:10:12Speaker 02

  Yeah. That is a wild quest to still be like.

• 1:10:16Matt McCusker?

  And they were like, yo, he totally paid us. They were straight, though, weren't they?

• 1:10:21Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:10:22Speaker 00

  I think one of them wasn't, or maybe.

• 1:10:25Speaker 02

  Okay, one of the brothers.

• 1:10:26Speaker 00

  I did see the doc.

• 1:10:31Speaker 00

  Dang, Gardini turning on you.

• 1:10:33Matt McCusker?

  God damn it.

• 1:10:36Speaker 00

  Lameez, I take back what I said earlier, man.

• 1:10:39Matt McCusker?

  Oh, he's mad at you, bro.

• 1:10:42Speaker 02

  He's chilling. Lameez is chilling.

• 1:10:43Speaker 00

  Yeah, man.

• 1:10:44Matt McCusker?

  Lameez, would you have rolled with that plot of Smollett if he had paid you? No.

• 1:10:51Speaker 02

  Didn't he give him like 1500 or something?

• 1:10:53Matt McCusker?

  He didn't pay him that much. Yeah, I think he sort of got, I think it was like 3,500 for the.

• 1:10:56Speaker 02

  Yeah, it was like three grand for them to split or something.

• 1:10:58Matt McCusker?

  To, like, to create a national scandal.

• 1:11:02Matt McCusker?

  Yeah, those boys got an hour. Gardini's sick of us. He wants to sit down.

• 1:11:09Speaker 00

  All right.

• 1:11:09Matt McCusker?

  Well.

• 1:11:11Speaker 00

  They're not gay.

• 1:11:12Matt McCusker?

  Yeah.

• 1:11:13Speaker 00

  All right. We got to the bottom of it.

• 1:11:18Speaker 00

  Well, it's good up.

• 1:11:19Matt McCusker?

  All right.

• 1:11:20Speaker 00

  See you next time.

• 1:11:22Matt McCusker?

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  Do it.

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