You’re the Problem with Yamaneika Saunders

Yamaneika’s in Chelsea’s house (and won’t leave) to discuss the merits of an Erewhon rotisserie Chicken, the power of two women wrestling, and why Chelsea’s the problem this week. Then: A family falls apart after an open marriage becomes a little too open. A trans man’s love life gets increasingly more complicated. And a sister needs to put her sister in her place. * Need some advice from Chelsea? Email us at [email protected] mailto:[email protected] * Listen to You're The Problem... with Yamaneika here: https://www.iheart.com/podcast/1119-youre-the-problem-with-ya-338033062 * Executive Producer Catherine Law Edited & Engineered by Brad Dickert * * * The views and opinions expressed are solely those of the Podcast author, or individuals participating in the Podcast, and do not represent the opinions of iHeartMedia or its employees. This Podcast should not be used as medical advice, mental health advice, mental health counseling or therapy, or as imparting any health care recommendations at all. Individuals are advised to seek independent medical, counseling advice and/or therapy from a competent health care professional with respect to any medical condition, mental health issues, health inquiry or matter, including matters discussed on this Podcast. Guests and listeners should not rely on matters discussed in the Podcast and shall not act or shall refrain from acting based on information contained in the Podcast without first seeking independent medical advice. See omnystudio.com/listener https://omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

• 0:00Speaker 00

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• 2:14Speaker 00

  It's not clean unless it's OxiClean. Pets don't hold back, and neither do their stains. My dog Doug has been known to make a mess or two. I love that he can spend time running around outside, playing with all of his friends, and I don't have to worry about stains on my floors because when Doug gets messy, it's not a problem. It's OxiClean to the rescue. OxiClean Versatile Stain Remover works on over 100 different types of stains. It's America's number one stain fighter additive. So when my dog goes all in, I've got OxiClean to get it out. And that's why they say it's not clean unless it's OxiClean. Okay, guys, here are my dates for the High and Mighty Tour.

• 2:59Speaker 00

  In August, you can find me in Red Bank, New Jersey, Montclair, New Jersey, and Calgary. That's Canada. And September, I will be in Santa Barbara, San Diego, New York City, Philly, and New Haven, Connecticut. October is Atlanta, Baltimore, Saginaw, Michigan, Pittsburgh, Toronto, Boise, Idaho, and Spokane. And then in November, I'll be in San Francisco. I'm coming to Salt Lake City, Austin, Houston, Dallas, babies. I'll be there. And then in December, I am closing out my tour in Denver and Vancouver. So get your tickets at chelseahandler.com for the High and Mighty Tour. Hi, Catherine. Hi, Chelsea. Who are you traveling with right now? I am now by myself. Oh, okay.

• 3:44Speaker 00

  I am in Spanish school. I am going to Spanish school from 9 to 2 PM every day in a Spanish city somewhere near you, somewhere near Spain. Vas a volver hablando fluido. Oh. You're gonna be fluent when you come back. It's gonna be great. Hopefully we'll see what happens. We'll see how many days of school I actually get to, but I'm on day three. So school from nine to two and then there's cultural actividades that I am opting out of because I need a nightlife, but I, and school from nine to two is all I need really.

• 4:25Speaker 01

  Yeah. I mean, I think your nightlife is going to be your cultural activities.

• 4:28Speaker 00

  Yes, exactly. That's me experiencing culture is going out.

• 4:33Speaker 01

  Excellent.

• 4:33Speaker 00

  Well, our guest today is a very special guest because she's launching her very own podcast under the Dear Chelsea Podcast Network. And this is going to give you a slice of what you can listen to when you tune into her podcast every week. Her new podcast is called You're the Problem with Yamaneika Saunders. And after listening to this, you'll also understand that she is the problem and she's my problem and everyone's problem. So that title alone invites you to laugh.

• 5:05Speaker 01

  And she gave great advice actually on this episode. I was, I was very impressed with her.

• 5:09Speaker 00

  She is good at advice. She's terrible at taking it, but she's good at giving it.

• 5:14Speaker 02

  How necessary is this air?

• 5:15Speaker 00

  Excuse me. Excuse me.

• 5:17Speaker 01

  How sweaty do you want her to be?

• 5:19Speaker 00

  Let me, first of all, I want to talk to you. Okay. Before, we're shooting this podcast. This is Dear Chelsea. This is Yamaneika Saunders. If you're not familiar with her, you will be by the end of this episode.

• 5:30Speaker 02

  We've had clips go viral with you and I.

• 5:32Speaker 00

  Okay. Anyway, why don't you, how necessary is this air? How necessary is all the bullshit that you get up to? You are disruptive. She has been staying at my house for a week.

• 5:44Speaker 02

  Here we go.

• 5:44Speaker 00

  For the Netflix is a Joe Comedy Festival. She, every, she has nothing. She brought nothing with her. We've been on the road. Every day is brand new for her. Every day you go into her bedroom, she's in the bunk room. Megan was also staying here. Megan Gailey, our dear friend.

• 6:00Speaker 02

  Time with me, by the way. She goes through this nonsense.

• 6:03Speaker 00

  Okay. Every day in the bunk room where she's staying, she, it looks like a fucking pop up CVS. She has to go to CVS. She goes to CVS three times a day.

• 6:13Speaker 02

  I'm addicted to CVS.

• 6:14Speaker 00

  She buys all the new. It's like she's starting over each day. She doesn't have any of her supplies. She has to get her hair stuff, her face stuff, her sneakers. She buys clothes at CVS. Then she went to Marshalls. Then she goes to Marshalls twice a week. Then I introduced her.

• 6:29Speaker 02

  You gotta keep her with the Marshalls trend.

• 6:30Speaker 00

  I introduced her. I introduced her to Air One. So I said, here's where the white people go shopping in Santa Monica. Come look. And I was like, if you've, have you ever had a $13 smoothie? And this bitch goes every morning now to Air One, spends $80 at Air One.

• 6:46Speaker 02

  I can't help that, that, yeah. No, I got this from the spirit.

• 6:50Speaker 00

  Who's Nikki?

• 6:51Speaker 02

  That's me.

• 6:51Speaker 00

  You're Nikki?

• 6:52Speaker 02

  Because who got time to learn how to spell Yamaneika? They didn't even teach me how to spell my name until I was in the third grade.

• 6:57Speaker 00

  Well, the problem.

• 6:58Speaker 02

  So I'm supposed to let some brand new lady that just met me learn how to spell Yamaneika?

• 7:01Speaker 00

  Here's a bigger problem with spelling your name. We're about to launch a podcast. This is an announcement, you guys, to our audience. Dear Chelsea Network is now a network. And yes, I hold my breath when I say that.

• 7:11Speaker 02

  Yes, and I hold your breath too.

• 7:12Speaker 00

  And guess my first podcast that I'm producing beyond my own is?

• 7:17Speaker 02

  You're the problem with Yamaneika.

• 7:19Speaker 00

  But you're the fucking problem.

• 7:20Speaker 02

  I'm not the problem.

• 7:21Speaker 00

  You're the problem.

• 7:22Speaker 02

  Listen, I am a part of the collective of the problem. So when I say you're the problem, I'm also saying that to myself.

• 7:28Speaker 00

  Well, I'm glad you're saying that to yourself.

• 7:30Speaker 02

  That we need to talk about and we need to deal with.

• 7:32Speaker 00

  How about the fact that you've bought three rotisserie chickens in three days? And haven't even finished them?

• 7:37Speaker 02

  That they were delicious.

• 7:38Speaker 00

  She's, she buys this every day. She never finishes it. Twenty-two, twenty, this was $22, watermelon juice?

• 7:45Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 7:45Speaker 00

  It's the Haley beaver. What are you doing?

• 7:47Speaker 02

  I don't know.

• 7:47Speaker 00

  Is it the Haley beaver? We should get a discount from Haley. I'll DM her.

• 7:51Speaker 02

  No, tell, listen, is this her? Haley, let me tell you something, baby.

• 7:54Speaker 00

  I have to smoke a joint for this episode because I can't deal with her.

• 7:57Speaker 02

  Can I tell her?

• 7:57Speaker 00

  She drives me to drink and smoke.

• 7:59Speaker 02

  Yeah, well, you're drinking and smoking anyway. So what were you doing all the damn years before you met me?

• 8:04Speaker 00

  I was drinking and smoking for different reasons. Now you're the reason I'm drinking and smoking.

• 8:08Speaker 02

  Haley, this, um, smoothie here, it's the thing I drink every morning to keep my bowels regular. I suck this down and it is mud tunnel. Do you hear me? That's why they so damn thin. When you spend $22 for a smoothie, you don't have money to eat for the rest of the day. That's it.

• 8:27Speaker 01

  That's right. Basically, Rachael Ray, back in the day.

• 8:29Speaker 00

  She goes, she buys a rotisserie chicken every day, and then she goes, oh, I got you all chicken. No one wants it. No one wants the chicken. You bought chicken noodle soup the other day. It's still in the fridge, a huge pint of it. There's no, you haven't touched it. You don't eat any of the stuff that you buy. So what are you doing with it? Is this like that?

• 8:46Speaker 02

  I might have a problem. I get excited about purchases.

• 8:50Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 8:50Speaker 02

  And things looking like, oh, this is gonna look cute in the refrigerator. So yeah. A sixteen dollar soup makes no sense, but it looks cute in the refrigerator. And that's what she's not gonna tell you. It looks good in the refrigerator. But also have her tell you this. The reason why I haven't eaten it yet is because this bitch also has one in there. So why would I open mine up if you don't have yours open yet?

• 9:11Speaker 00

  What, my chicken?

• 9:12Speaker 02

  You have a chicken noodle soup. There's two in there because of you.

• 9:14Speaker 00

  I don't have a chicken noodle soup.

• 9:15Speaker 02

  Yes, you do.

• 9:15Speaker 00

  I never even ordered that. I never got that. No.

• 9:18Speaker 02

  Do you want me to go to the refrigerator?

• 9:19Speaker 00

  No, it's probably yours, you dumbass.

• 9:20Speaker 02

  It's not mine.

• 9:21Speaker 00

  You probably got it, and you forgot that you bought it like everything else. Every, she weighs.

• 9:25Speaker 02

  I think I would know if I bought chicken noodle soup twice.

• 9:27Speaker 00

  You, I, would you though? Would you?

• 9:30Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 9:30Speaker 00

  I mean, you bought an avocado, a tomato.

• 9:32Speaker 02

  Chicken noodle soup twice, okay?

• 9:34Speaker 00

  The other day, she goes, oh, we can break down the bones from the rotisserie chicken.

• 9:38Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 9:38Speaker 00

  And I can make a nice.

• 9:39Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 9:39Speaker 00

  I can make a nice.

• 9:40Speaker 01

  I'm with that. I'm with that.

• 9:40Speaker 02

  Everybody does that.

• 9:41Speaker 00

  But when is, when is that gonna happen, Yamaneika? No one's making any fucking soup with some bones. We're not doing that at any point during your stay here. So the fantasy that you're living in about us making bone broth, or whatever the fuck you're talking about, is so stupid.

• 9:57Speaker 02

  Because you don't want to do it with me.

• 9:59Speaker 00

  The way I see you operate is on another level. Like, I thought I knew her. Having her in my house, in my space, thank you for breaking in my house, hopefully, like, I mean.

• 10:08Speaker 02

  Yeah, no, I've had an amazing time here.

• 10:09Speaker 00

  I know. It's been really nice having you.

• 10:11Speaker 02

  It's the most fun room. Megan and I had such an amazing time. There's four bunk beds. When I first heard that, I was like, this is some stupid shit. And then I went in there.

• 10:21Speaker 01

  It sounded like a women's prison.

• 10:23Speaker 02

  No. It's like, everybody has their own little compartment.

• 10:26Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 10:27Speaker 02

  And they all, like, it was so great.

• 10:29Speaker 00

  It's like, yeah.

• 10:30Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. It felt really good. I love it. Yeah. And thank you for letting me come in. Listen.

• 10:35Speaker 00

  We need to get you. On the right concealer, though, your facial concealer.

• 10:38Speaker 02

  Okay, let me just talk.

• 10:39Speaker 00

  This is the problem with you buying new concealer everywhere you go. You're not getting the right color for your skin.

• 10:43Speaker 02

  Okay, so I lost my makeup bag in a couple of places. Here's the thing about Chelsea. She doesn't understand why I don't have my shit together, but then she got 6,000 people keeping her shit together. I'm a one man band.

• 10:57Speaker 00

  By the way, you have infected all of the people that work with me and for me because they're all working for fucking you too now. Trying to get your shit together. You don't know when we're going on tour. You're like, oh, you're going to Modesto. I'm gonna rent a car. Why would you rent a car when we have a car?

• 11:13Speaker 02

  I understand that, but trying to get to. No, no, no. Ladies and gentlemen, believe it or not, you're the problem with Yamaneika is something that I wanted to do. Chelsea also wanted to do. No matter how she sits here and talks crazy about me, the woman loves me down to the core. And she wouldn't let me be on her fucking network if she really thought I was this dumb and irresponsible.

• 11:30Speaker 00

  Stop saying that you're dumb. I've never said you're dumb.

• 11:33Speaker 02

  Idiot, dumb, stupid is like, what, you know, what would we play, Taboo? But what I'm saying to you is, we're like, it's such, like, what we have going on here is such a fantastic moment and time. I'm so excited to be on the network. I just think it is just so, I'm just, I can't wait. And I think you'll get like.

• 11:52Speaker 00

  What are you gonna talk about on your show?

• 11:53Speaker 02

  I mean, and listen.

• 11:55Speaker 00

  First of all, we have a great something. Something's off.

• 11:57Speaker 02

  It's like a sisterhood, because we like each other, but then we hate each other sometimes.

• 12:00Speaker 00

  No, you're annoying, but I.

• 12:02Speaker 02

  No, you're annoying.

• 12:03Speaker 00

  Well, okay, but.

• 12:04Speaker 02

  Well.

• 12:04Speaker 00

  Anyway, we have a good time together most of the time, and I do think that you.

• 12:10Speaker 02

  Last night, we were at this party. We were slow grinding off.

• 12:16Speaker 02

  And people were walking past like, like, people are intrigued by our love, but also like skeptical. But then they're also like, also into it. I've had so many male comics text me and be like, can you put more videos up of you and Chelsea wrestling?

• 12:32Speaker 00

  Do you know? I was walking around the party and I like was so stoned that I forgot where you guys were. And I kept trying to find that outside area where we found at the beginning of the night. We were like, we found a place where you could smoke and sit outside and dance. And somehow I just got lost and I kept circling the same group of people and it was so annoying. And I was like, how do I find them?

• 12:54Speaker 02

  And then what happened? Like a black angel, didn't I come up behind you and go, where you been, baby?

• 12:59Speaker 00

  Ah, was it you?

• 13:01Speaker 02

  How many black angels you got bitch?

• 13:04Speaker 00

  Oh, that is.

• 13:05Speaker 02

  Yeah, that was me when you went to and I, and we took that picture and I whisked you away. Yeah, absolutely. I knew you were somewhere and needed my assistance.

• 13:11Speaker 00

  Thank you. That's really, you know.

• 13:13Speaker 01

  I mean, somebody had to grow up in that incredible outfit.

• 13:15Speaker 02

  No, Chelsea, I get on Chelsea's nerves. I understand for whatever. She's a Pisces, I'm a Scorpio.

• 13:20Speaker 00

  If she, she says this about 47 times every day. As if that has anything to do.

• 13:25Speaker 02

  It has a lot, because as a Scorpio, the way we don't want to be bothered with people.

• 13:29Speaker 00

  But, but as a Scorpio, you def, you default to your scorpionism all day long.

• 13:33Speaker 02

  Yeah, because I'm a true Scorpio.

• 13:35Speaker 00

  She, she, because whatever she does, that's fucked up. I'll be like, that's fucked up. She's like, I'm a Scorpio. Like, and she just defaults to that. And I don't like most Scorpios, though. But you can't do that, isn't it? Most Scorpios, like, I'm not walking around going, I'm a Pisces, deal with it.

• 13:47Speaker 02

  She literally did a joke in the roast, "I'm a Pisces, Pete Davis is a Scorpio, and Jeff has cancer."

• 13:57Speaker 01

  That was so good.

• 14:00Speaker 02

  So, yeah, I mean, we all defer to it. But I, what I, the reason why I referenced it is because for me, I think people are shocked to see my relationship with her. I have these relationships. There's people in my life that I'm really, really close to, and I have these relations to, and they don't get to see it on a larger scale. But for me, I'm always guarded, you know, just as a person. And I know that I'm so sensitive that once I get into a friendship with somebody, I start sharing my feelings, my everything. And so I'm very vulnerable with that, but.

• 14:32Speaker 00

  She is very vulnerable.

• 14:34Speaker 02

  You know, she really lets me in, and I just love pinching her. I love pinching her little tush. I love pinching her cheeks. I love pinching her arms, just like all my friends. It's not Chelsea that I'm doing. It's, that's what my friendship is like. It's very loving, it's very touchy, and it's very, like, extra.

• 14:51Speaker 00

  It's a burden for me. It's a big burden.

• 14:55Speaker 02

  It's not. She loves it. Don't listen to her.

• 15:00Speaker 00

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• 16:30Speaker 00

  We women inherit a lot of unwritten rules. Be ambitious, but not intimidating. Be there for everyone, but still make time for yourself. Have it all, but don't look like you're trying too hard. I am not immune from having to unlearn those unwritten rules either. Maybe it's, I should have figured my career out by now, or being a good friend means always being available, or if everyone else can keep up, I should also be able to keep up. Consider where that rule came from and whether you would ever impose it on someone you care about. If you've been waiting to start therapy, give BetterHelp a try. Don't have insurance or live outside the US? You still get 10% off your first month. Visit betterhelp.com/dearchelsea to explore your payment options.

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• 17:51Speaker 01

  Okay, so how do you keep winding up in Chelsea's bed? That's, that's what I want to know because apparently it's happened a bunch of times recently.

• 17:58Speaker 00

  Yeah, Yomika, what's your version of that story?

• 18:00Speaker 02

  Chelsea has seen me completely naked and I have seen her completely naked. So what the fuck is the bed?

• 18:05Speaker 00

  So have half the men that she...

• 18:06Speaker 02

  Sure, but what I'm saying is, no, what's the bed? Who cares? She, look, she's thin. She's not even taking up all this bed. She doesn't need it. So why wouldn't I be in there?

• 18:17Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah.

• 18:17Speaker 02

  I got my own space. We're like two miles away from each other in these humongous ass beds that she's always in. This bitch loves a hotel.

• 18:25Speaker 00

  The last time we were in a bed, like maybe I told this story. I don't know. I think I said it to you once when we were recording that I, we had her, they had her come up. I don't, why she's in my room in the first place is a mystery. Okay. I mean, I, she, I did it once and then she's like every weekend, she's like, so maybe on Thursday, I'll spend the night with you. Like, and I'll get a place the other two nights. But we never know if she's going to get a place or she's going to get a place in the right city.

• 18:49Speaker 02

  And when I do get a place, they get an attitude about it because I like to use my Marriott points, my Bonvoy Marriott points. I'm also going to get a discount on bookings.com. I'm going to roll that over. I mean, it's expensive to be on the road.

• 19:01Speaker 00

  But you're not getting the points when you're making the reservation in the wrong city for the wrong, yeah.

• 19:05Speaker 02

  Yes, I did book the wrong hotel for the wrong day for the wrong year. I mean, I don't know. I'm doing what I, but I had a place to stay, didn't I?

• 19:12Speaker 00

  Yeah, in my bed.

• 19:13Speaker 02

  Yeah, well, okay, okay. How many times have you bartered with me being in your bed?

• 19:19Speaker 00

  She has all her makeup everywhere. She doesn't even remove her makeup. So it looks like I did blackface and went to sleep.

• 19:24Speaker 02

  I can't help it that you keep your makeup on and it's the same color as the damn sheets, bitch.

• 19:30Speaker 00

  I need to get chocolate sheets.

• 19:32Speaker 02

  We're both going to bed with makeup on, man.

• 19:33Speaker 00

  You need to get chocolate sheets.

• 19:34Speaker 02

  And she does.

• 19:35Speaker 00

  I need that.

• 19:37Speaker 02

  Sometimes I wonder if people come in and look at the sheets after you leave and be like, what the fuck is going on here? What was happening with her? My entire face is on it. But I do, listen, it's those things too, because like, I've been on the road with so many people. And it's like, Chelsea's so fun. One of the favorite, my favorite things about her is like, when I first started doing the road with her, I would stay in my place, you know, my green room, which I thought was great, because sometimes you don't even get a green room as an opener. And I would be in my green room and she'd be in hers. And then one time she came in and she was like, how come you like, not, you didn't come in here? Like, how come you don't come in with me? And I was like, I'm trying to give you a space. And she was like, I don't want that. She was like, come in there. And then we went in there and we, you know, Molly was there and we had an amazing time.

• 20:20Speaker 02

  And it was just fun. Like, ever since then, it was like such a connection. And I was thinking to myself like, well, I can't wait to get back and kick it with her. Because sometimes you go on the road, it's the truth. Sometimes you get depressed, you're like, man, I don't want to be around this person. They gonna treat me like shit. They gonna make me feel whatever. She brings me on as her special guest. She's so welcoming and loving. Her audiences are so receptive. And even like, she comes out, greets everybody. That's the kind of spirit I have. So it's like, it just makes everything seen. You feel seen, you feel loved. And that's what she did for me. So like, I'll never forget that, you know?

• 20:54Speaker 00

  Yeah, that is real sweet.

• 20:57Speaker 02

  But it's the truth.

• 20:58Speaker 00

  I don't think I'm gonna be able to yell at you for at least six more hours.

• 21:01Speaker 02

  No, you'll find a way.

• 21:02Speaker 00

  What time is your flight tonight?

• 21:03Speaker 02

  Nine.

• 21:04Speaker 00

  Oh.

• 21:04Speaker 02

  You wanna yell at me as I start taking off? She's gonna start yelling at me like, get in the sky, you idiot. Get in the sky. Why are you still here?

• 21:12Speaker 00

  She'll be like, will you drive me to the airport? Don't you think?

• 21:15Speaker 01

  She'll drive me to the airport.

• 21:16Speaker 00

  She'll suggest things that are like, great for her, with no consideration of how it would make me feel.

• 21:21Speaker 01

  Also, no one wants to drive anyone to LAX, ever.

• 21:24Speaker 02

  I hate, I hate having people drive. Like, poor Carlos, he has to deal with my... I have a phobia of driving. This has been for a long time. One of my sisters was killed in a car accident. So ever since then, it was always like, you know, I'm constantly aware of like, oh, we're doing this. I don't want to die. I don't want my father to have to go through this trauma again. My family have to go through this trauma again. But Chelsea drove me the other day, drove me around. She's a really great driver and I felt good. No, she is. Like surprisingly, she was really great. I was like, wow.

• 21:53Speaker 01

  She's an excellent driver.

• 21:54Speaker 02

  I didn't trust her at all, but I did.

• 21:56Speaker 00

  When people ask you about me, you should go, she's an excellent driver.

• 21:59Speaker 02

  You are though. I told you that.

• 22:01Speaker 00

  See how she's sincere about things like this?

• 22:03Speaker 01

  She is. She's totally sincere right now.

• 22:05Speaker 02

  She didn't hear anything from me. I had no complaint. I was like.

• 22:08Speaker 00

  Thank you. No one, everyone in my family would disagree with you, but I appreciate you recognizing my skillset.

• 22:14Speaker 02

  Maybe they think it's scary, but I'm like, she's on top of it. Part of driving that people don't have is people are doing a thousand things and they're not paying attention and they're not aware of the surroundings. That's what makes it dangerous. But Chelsea's very aware of what's going on. She's a Pisces. Pisces are like that. Detail oriented and they also don't fuck around. So that's why, you know, my other friend, Andy, who I'm obsessed with, he's a Pisces. I've had Pisces in my life. I just love Pisces. They get along with Scorpio well and it just feels good.

• 22:44Speaker 01

  I'm a Pisces too, Yamaneika.

• 22:46Speaker 02

  There you go.

• 22:46Speaker 01

  Yay. You can call my bed anytime.

• 22:49Speaker 02

  Yeah, no, there you go.

• 22:51Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 22:53Speaker 02

  What, baby?

• 22:54Speaker 00

  I was just thinking about astrology and like how often it comes up with you.

• 22:59Speaker 02

  It does come up a lot.

• 23:01Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 23:01Speaker 02

  I, it started with.

• 23:02Speaker 00

  Are you well versed on every sign like this?

• 23:05Speaker 02

  Every time I have sex with a man, I'm versed on the sign.

• 23:09Speaker 00

  On the phone or in person? Cause she has phone sex a lot.

• 23:12Speaker 01

  On the road.

• 23:13Speaker 00

  On the road. She, she, look at that. That look right there is first of all, she has five personalities. One is Rashonda, the one is Lucy, one is Denzel. And then one is Shaniqua Donk.

• 23:26Speaker 02

  Yeah, but I told you, I said, I will not let your white ass call me no Shaniqua Donk. So you better find a new name, bitch. It better be Barbara or some shit like that.

• 23:36Speaker 00

  Barbara, okay.

• 23:37Speaker 02

  Lucy is the helpful spirit.

• 23:39Speaker 00

  Lucy will come in out of nowhere and all of a sudden, because she has, you know, she has different accents she talks in. So she's borderline or something.

• 23:46Speaker 02

  I have borderline personality disorder.

• 23:48Speaker 00

  Yeah, borderline five of them. I thought borderline meant two, but it's not. That's a split personality. She has like several different people going.

• 23:56Speaker 02

  I do.

• 23:57Speaker 00

  So it's pretty tricky because she, but the good thing is, is that she can always snap back quickly.

• 24:02Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 24:02Speaker 00

  So it doesn't like, even though it's a lot of very, a lot of drama, and I, I'm saying that in a patronizing way, kind of. Like even though it comes with a lot of drama, she recovers from the drama. So the drama doesn't last. There's no, it's not a long duration.

• 24:16Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 24:16Speaker 00

  But there's always drama.

• 24:18Speaker 02

  But the thing about it is, the thing, and I think they're learning this, I have to internalize everything so I can deal with it. So that's why it doesn't stay. It's you, if you catch me in the midst of dealing with something that's drama, I'm focused and my spirit is on that. So be like, oh, my God, Yama, what's wrong with you? Really, just leave me, give me five minutes to process this. And by the time you come back to me, I'm gonna be fine. Because my drama is never with the people. It's always my environment and I'm trying to clear that up. But I don't, if I'm not, if like, if I don't like you, I wouldn't be around you. So I always tell people like, is, if I'm gonna be upset, I may have an attitude, I may get scared, but it's not directed at you. And I'm also trying to fix that for myself so that I can come back to you

• 25:01Speaker 02

  and be Yama again, you know, like the fun girl.

• 25:04Speaker 00

  Yeah. And it's really funny watching also, not funny, I guess more interesting and like from like our own experiences, like watching how she goes through the world is like ridiculous. It's shocking to me. I'm shocked.

• 25:18Speaker 01

  Because she's the type B personality of the duo.

• 25:21Speaker 00

  But she's also like her background and her experiences are so different than mine. So for us to come together and to be able to like share, of course she wants to sleep in my room because she's like, oh, you got your fucking shit dialed in. Let's go.

• 25:35Speaker 01

  It's my time.

• 25:36Speaker 00

  My shit is dialed in because, you know, I've had different experiences in my life. And like, well, you know, that, that contrast is very like fun to learn about. You know, like someone's experience that is so different.

• 25:47Speaker 02

  Well, for me, like, okay, so my background is.

• 25:51Speaker 00

  In terms of you being Puerto Rican is what I'm talking about.

• 25:54Speaker 02

  I've always been isolated as a person. I mean, I have three beautiful half-sisters. We have different mothers. One is in heaven, two are living. But I grew up an only child and I grew up a theater kid as well. And I went to parochial school where a lot of shit was going on. I was being, you know, I was being called the N-word every day. A whole bunch of shit was going on. So I withdrew very early on in life to just be a loner, right? And not really open up to people and be around people. And also I'm combating that I wasn't the traditional like. My background is pretty conservative and I was always pushing against that, you know? So for me, it's like, there is a reckless abandon with me.

• 26:36Speaker 02

  I fuck it. I don't care. Nobody's gonna tell me how to be, how to live. You're not gonna restrict me in any ways. And sometimes that can come off very chaotic. And then I get to be around Chelsea and I get to relax because she knows what she wants. She's got her head on straight and everything is just in line. So sometimes I do feel like I can just lay with her and not have to worry about certain things, you know? And that feels, feels good.

• 27:03Speaker 00

  I like to provide that.

• 27:05Speaker 02

  You do. You know, our backgrounds are a lot more similar than you think. But I think for me to come back into a space where like, you know, I'm almost 50, I'm 47. There's a lot of things going on where I'm looking at myself as an adult too. Like, how do I want to show up in the world? How do I want to show up around other people and make them feel better about shitty situations? I felt neglected. I felt unseen. I felt unloved. And that's why the volume is so loud. That's why it is so much in your face because I know I sat home and cried. And I don't want anybody else to do that. So I appreciate people who say to me, you know what, you made me feel good. I like your material. I like what you're saying. I feel represented. That's a really big deal for me.

• 27:50Speaker 02

  So right now also my focus is just comedy. It's not necessarily where I'm living, what clothes I got on. You know, I'm just a nomad running around this world.

• 27:59Speaker 00

  Going to CVS.

• 28:00Speaker 02

  Going to CVS.

• 28:01Speaker 00

  I knew the closest CVS, Marshalls. Different, she was dragging around a suitcase, this little mini, like, what would you call that purse? It was like a purse on wheels.

• 28:10Speaker 02

  I got it at this boutique in Las Vegas. It was great. She didn't like it. And then I let this bitch pressure me into getting rid of it. When I was at LaGuardia, I still had the bag. I said, oh shit, she doesn't like this bag. She's gonna dog me for this bag. So I went and bought a new bag at LaGuardia. And then I said to the woman that was, I was buying it from, I was like, oh my God, I don't know what I'm gonna do with this bag. And she goes, oh, I'll find somebody to take it. I was like, I bet you will bitch. It was a fantastic bag. But then this person told me that she didn't like it. I don't like that.

• 28:43Speaker 00

  You looked like a bag lady with that.

• 28:45Speaker 02

  I looked like a sophisticated woman of leisure.

• 28:48Speaker 00

  It was open and shit was spilling out of it because she's got liquids. She travels, her suitcase is filled with different liquids. Like drinks, like energy drinks are in the suitcase that she's traveling with.

• 28:58Speaker 02

  That's a little spot of way too. Just liquid is good.

• 29:01Speaker 02

  But it's the truth. Stop eating whole shit. Stop eating substances of like.

• 29:05Speaker 00

  Tracking the conversation.

• 29:07Speaker 02

  You just drink. I'm the one who's stoned. Did you smoke a joint? I didn't. Give me some of this. Oh no, I gotta get another one.

• 29:13Speaker 00

  Little dog walkers.

• 29:14Speaker 02

  No, I want, I should have got, remember I have that big one? Should I go get that? Can we take a break doing this? You didn't want that? I got the eighth one of the world. Give me this. The light, the light, the light, baby. Why is it so small?

• 29:28Speaker 00

  It's a dog walker.

• 29:29Speaker 02

  What does that mean?

• 29:32Speaker 01

  Lasts the amount of time to walk the dog.

• 29:36Speaker 00

  That is really funny. It's like a snack. It's like a snack joint.

• 29:40Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 29:41Speaker 02

  So the dog gotta piss and poop right away and then come back? Cause this is not, my cats would need more than this if I walked them.

• 29:51Speaker 00

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• 32:06Speaker 00

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• 32:47Speaker 00

  Are we supposed to take callers for this?

• 32:49Speaker 01

  Yeah, we got callers.

• 32:49Speaker 00

  Okay, awesome.

• 32:50Speaker 01

  We got callers.

• 32:52Speaker 00

  Okay, great. All right, so let's do that.

• 32:54Speaker 01

  Okay. All right, our first caller today is Bella and her subject line, by the way, is "My Brother's Wife's Lover."

• 33:02Speaker 00

  What?

• 33:02Speaker 01

  Dear Chelsea, my brother just dropped a huge bomb on me. My brother is 10 years my junior and we have always been very close. We lived in the same building together in NYC for over 20 years. He moved out 10 years ago when he and his wife had their first child. While on a peaceful vacation recently, my brother called with a bombshell. He told me his wife is having a consensual affair with a female family friend. He said they were all open to it at first, but now his wife has feelings for the other woman who is also married to a man. I was stunned, cried, and I was upset. Not because I'm judgy, I'm open, liberal, and fair. My feelings were reactive for the kids and the family dynamic. He's now unhappy with the agreement and she is conflicted. My main concern is

• 33:44Speaker 01

  for the children. I did advise my brother, but I need additional advice. What would you do if this was your brother? What would you advise him? Bella. Hi Bella.

• 33:53Speaker 03

  Hi.

• 33:53Speaker 01

  We've got Yamaneika here.

• 33:55Speaker 00

  Hi Bella.

• 33:56Speaker 03

  Oh, Yamaneika.

• 33:57Speaker 00

  Hi baby, how are you?

• 33:59Speaker 03

  I'm well. Hi Chelsea.

• 34:00Speaker 00

  Oh God, what an interesting dilemma. It's kind of like a, I mean, I know this is your family member and your brother, but it's kind of like a sign of the times. Like women are just like, we're wrapped, women are wrapped with men. They're ready for, to be with a woman. Like it is, it's so prevalent. And it's like we're on the cusp of like it becoming an even bigger thing. Like at the tipping point almost.

• 34:25Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's not actually the shock of the woman. It's just...

• 34:30Speaker 03

  How she went about it and just the disrespect, you know, like this big bomb.

• 34:36Speaker 01

  Where are things right now? Has there been a transition at all? Is everyone still living in their same homes?

• 34:42Speaker 03

  Yes, everyone is still living in the same homes. You know, my mom lives in the house too. My, my 82 year old mother.

• 34:50Speaker 02

  Oh, and she got to deal with all this musical chairs in the bedroom?

• 34:53Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 34:54Speaker 02

  Does she know what's going on?

• 34:56Speaker 03

  She does.

• 34:58Speaker 02

  What's her opinion about all of this?

• 35:00Speaker 03

  Well, she's 82 years old and she was incredibly shocked and, you know,

• 35:06Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 35:07Speaker 03

  surprised because this is someone that was hanging out with our family. Like I said, I moved up here. I'm very close to my brother, the kids and everybody. And this woman was around. We had a holiday together. We had Thanksgiving together.

• 35:23Speaker 02

  Are you still in New York?

• 35:24Speaker 03

  I'm an hour north of New York now.

• 35:27Speaker 02

  Whenever you come into the city, I, I got two tickets for you. Come see me at the cellar, okay? Just for this ordeal. Maybe bring your brother and let me know how many tickets you need. I'll take care of you. Maybe we can work this out there. I think when you I got you. We'll connect, okay? I think what the problem is, is you see this as a betrayal, but we have to go back to the beginning that it was consensual, right? So at some point, it seems like your brother agreed to this dynamic. And you can't help falling in love with somebody once you open the door of intimacy. So if she didn't, just went into a physical thing and didn't know she was going to fall in love, it's like Chelsea would say, whoopsie doodle.

• 36:08Speaker 02

  But once you, you have to think about all the things that you open up when you put yourself in that situation. Now, on the flip side, I do understand what you mean about the kids, how they're going to feel, this whole relationship dynamic. But we are in a time where the world is changing. In our time, if something like that happened, people would have to go to therapy. Nobody would know what to do. And then it would be hush, hush. Now, the children, your nieces and nephews are also dealing with other kids who are also having these type of dynamics. And their families, so it won't be so isolating for them. So I think if you can somehow find a way, which is gonna be hard, right? To not be so emotional about it and see how you can come in and maybe help, right?

• 36:53Speaker 02

  Or be a lending hand to them how they need it. That would be better served for them than the judgment that they're getting through this process.

• 37:00Speaker 03

  I agree with you. I do, I do, but you know, where we are now is in a very small town and.

• 37:09Speaker 02

  Everybody and everybody business, right?

• 37:11Speaker 03

  Correct. Yeah.

• 37:11Speaker 01

  What was the advice that you gave your brother?

• 37:14Speaker 03

  Well, at the time, I just told him to take a step back. And yes, I agree with Yamaneika, it was consensual. You know, they were doing their thing more than I ever expected. But that's all good, you know, you do you. I think, yeah, now it's more like the betrayal, like you said, the disrespect to my mom, to the family, to the kids and.

• 37:39Speaker 01

  Well, I, I have a question about that because what, where is the disrespect coming in? Is this our betrayal coming in? Cause it sounds like everybody was on board with this when it started. I don't know that it is a betrayal to say, well, I started a relationship with this other person with everyone's consent and then I fell in love with this person. I mean, was there other stuff going on or?

• 38:02Speaker 03

  Well, he had asked her to stop when it started getting too crazy. Because then they, they agreed that they were gonna stop because it was getting out of hand.

• 38:11Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 38:12Speaker 03

  And then when he asked her to stop, it just continued. And she was, you know, kind of sneaking around and going around. And yeah, he behaved badly too during this time. And then he had said to her, listen, this is going to destroy us, to destroy the family. And sure enough, here we are.

• 38:32Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's, it's a bell you can't unring, you know?

• 38:35Speaker 03

  I guess the disrespect to me now is that she's still running around with this woman, with the kids. And I just keep thinking, I mean, if it were a double, if my brother now falls in love with a man and takes the kids around with the man, how will she feel about it?

• 38:53Speaker 00

  I have to be, I have to be really honest with you in this moment. I feel like you have, I know it's your brother, but you have so much judgment coming from you. You're not, she's not trying to humiliate you. She's not, this isn't intentional. You can't help it. Like, they had an open relationship and she fell in love. And I know that's hurtful for you, to your brother, but like, you have to let go of your anger towards her. It's not going to be helpful. That energy is not going to help the situation that you're in at all. You need to be a positive influence on the situation and positively support your brother. You don't need to hate on this woman and what she did to support your brother. Like, it's life. Shit happens. People fall in love and they fall out of love. And what you can

• 39:36Speaker 00

  do is be a beam of light and support for your brother. And that's all. You don't have to deal with her. Like, yes, I know it's part of your life, but give her a break. Just be cool.

• 39:46Speaker 01

  Yeah. And I think, you know, being the age that we are, we grew up in this era of compulsory heterosexuality, right? Where it was like, the default is that you are straight. And this woman, I think, has discovered that like, her, her sexuality is somewhere else on the spectrum, other than just straight.

• 40:03Speaker 00

  And there's a judgment for that from you as well. Like, I can see, you know? And you got it like, yeah, that's old, that's old thinking. That's like the olden times. It's okay. It's not humiliating that she's a lesbian now. That's not a humiliation on your family.

• 40:19Speaker 02

  It's not a humiliation at all, right? But also, the sting of it is, that's family, right? So they're not, it no matter what, once you betray my family, like, I'm done with you. When they were supposed to stop, she should have been honest at that point and said, I can't stop because now I'm in love. Let's take sexuality out of it for a second, because when she went into this shit, she was, at the very least, bi, because she's, she went to go- Fuck a woman, not a man, okay? So we can take that off the table. What happened is whatever she found over there on that table, it was replacing more than whatever your brother was giving her. She fell in love, not in lust, in love. That means I want you outside of fucking you.

• 41:04Speaker 02

  I want the relationship. I want to see you. I want to talk. You are my person. And I think they need to be honest about maybe they just need to separate altogether.

• 41:14Speaker 03

  Yes, yeah. And I'm not being judgy that it's, it's a woman. Honestly, I'm not.

• 41:19Speaker 02

  No, it's not judgy, but you know what, Bill? Let me just say this, and I'm saying this out of love. When you said, how would they feel if my brother was going around with a man? That makes it a judgment on sexuality. Because why didn't you just say if he was going around with another lover, right? So when you say things like that, it tings like maybe there's a little bit of homophobia there. Maybe there's some concern. Why are you so concerned about male and female in this situation? But at the same time, I think emotions are going to be high for you regardless. Because this is your brother. The way you described him in this letter was like, oh, they really fuck with each other like that. And she loves her brother down.

• 41:58Speaker 03

  Right, right, right.

• 41:59Speaker 02

  So your judgment is completely clouded in this situation.

• 42:02Speaker 01

  Well, and I think like the place you want to get to, or you want your brother to get to, is however this shakes out, whoever winds up with whom, you want those kids to have happiness, to have adults in their life that love them, even if that's not your brother and sister-in-law together. Exactly. Like people who love them and care for them. You want them to feel held. But like, there is going to be some complicated stuff to get to that point. So I think your role here is just to like absolutely support everyone, be there for the kids. And then also like speak positively about their mom. Like nothing is going to come of, you know, any trash talking or negativity there.

• 42:39Speaker 03

  Well, that's, yeah, definitely nothing like that.

• 42:41Speaker 01

  Yeah, no, I don't think you would. But just getting everyone as quickly as possible and as smoothly as possible to the place where like they can have multiple families that love them. And everyone gets along really well, even though there's going to be some complicated stuff in the middle.

• 42:56Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 42:57Speaker 01

  And it happens. It can happen. We've all seen it happen.

• 43:00Speaker 00

  Think about it like you'd want to think about it in five years. Like you handled this with grace and aplomb, you know? Like, oh, you were a beam of support for people and you helped transition them into the next phase.

• 43:13Speaker 02

  And I see a lot of you in me, Bella, in terms of like, I like, I receive information. I know some of this may be grading on you, but also some of it, you're glad you, you know, you're receiving this. Take all that we've given you and then run it through your own filter, which is what I would be doing, and then find out because like-

• 43:29Speaker 00

  And then find your local CVS store and hit that.

• 43:32Speaker 02

  No, but you know, I, I really feel for you in this situation. You have such a beautiful presence about yourself and spirit. And I, I know you just want the best, so, but I know for me, there was nothing, there's nothing better in my life than my aunts, no matter what, the love of my aunts.

• 43:47Speaker 03

  Yeah, and I honestly, I, no, I'm, I'm not judging. I mean, trust me, if I could describe my life in New York City, I was wild and in, in every gay club, like, it's nothing like that at all.

• 44:02Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, I was probably in it with you.

• 44:04Speaker 03

  Yeah, probably. Absolutely no problem with that. It's, the problem I have is mainly just with, with the bomb that went off and, and the disrespect and, and I worry for my niece and nephew mainly, really.

• 44:23Speaker 02

  They'll be fine, I promise you, they'll be fine. They really will. We're not in, it's not Mayberry, it's not Leave It To Beaver, it's people doing all kinds of shit out here in this world, okay? And, and what you told me is tame compared to what I've been showing Chelsea dicks from some guy I barely know, and it's like, you know, with him jerking off, it's like, so when you talk about that, yeah.

• 44:45Speaker 00

  She had phone sex three times.

• 44:47Speaker 02

  And his dick is so amazing, you know, whatever, and this looks gorgeous and delicious.

• 44:52Speaker 00

  This is not appropriate.

• 44:53Speaker 02

  I know, alright.

• 44:55Speaker 01

  Okay, Bella.

• 44:57Speaker 00

  All right, Bella, I hope Bella, take our, take our advice, like, listen to what we said and then re like, re-listen to this because it will help you.

• 45:05Speaker 03

  Okay, yeah, yeah, I, I, I definitely will. I'll follow up and let you all know.

• 45:11Speaker 02

  Please do, Bella.

• 45:12Speaker 01

  Yeah, follow us up with us in like six months or so and like let us know how things are shaking out over there, okay?

• 45:18Speaker 03

  Definitely. Thank you.

• 45:19Speaker 02

  Bye, my love.

• 45:21Speaker 01

  Bye.

• 45:21Speaker 03

  Take care. Bye bye.

• 45:23Speaker 00

  That was a good one.

• 45:24Speaker 02

  That was a good, you always give us some really fucking great it, but I can't stand you.

• 45:28Speaker 00

  You're falling in love with me even more.

• 45:30Speaker 02

  No, you fall over down.

• 45:31Speaker 00

  This is another personality. This is what, which, what, this is, I wanna, what can we call it? What, what's our name for it? The one that loves me. Uh, just me, though. Like, were you, uh?

• 45:42Speaker 02

  Let's call her Justine.

• 45:44Speaker 00

  Oh, that's boring. What about Lawanda?

• 45:47Speaker 02

  Why do you always, every fucking name you pull up got to be some bitch that goes to the swap meet in Inglewood. Stop it. Chelsea?

• 45:59Speaker 00

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• 47:26Speaker 00

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• 48:08Speaker 00

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• 48:55Speaker 00

  What's our next situation? Okay, so we thought that was a little messy. We're about to get a little messier. Oh, these are good. Yes. So McKinley says, Dear Chelsea, I'm a 43, or where are we?

• 49:15Speaker 02

  We both, when you said it was getting messy, we were both like, and you took the words right out of my mouth. I'm like, okay.

• 49:24Speaker 01

  Dear Chelsea, I'm a 43-year-old ex Mormon trans guy with two kids from my previous marriage.

• 49:30Speaker 02

  Wait a minute, hold.

• 49:31Speaker 00

  Reread.

• 49:32Speaker 02

  On. You gotta read that.

• 49:34Speaker 00

  Too many hyphens there.

• 49:35Speaker 02

  Catch every part of it. Okay.

• 49:36Speaker 01

  I'm a 43-year-old ex Mormon, trans man.

• 49:41Speaker 02

  Got it.

• 49:41Speaker 01

  With two kids from my previous marriage to a man. Okay?

• 49:45Speaker 02

  Yes. Is this Bella's brother sister?

• 49:50Speaker 01

  My birthday is coming up, and I'm really hoping this next year is less about cleaning up all my ex's whoopsie doodles. My main issue is with my kid's dad. On paper, he's supposed to have visitations, but in real life, I spent years bending over backwards to make visits happen. Visits eventually stopped because he constantly dropped the ball. He would drink when he had them, sometimes to the point that the kids would call me scared or confused, and I'd have to drive an hour each way to pick them up while also trying to convince the kids that this was all normal dad stuff. He acts like I, quote, "took the kids away," even though he was barely showing up. Meanwhile, our youngest is exploring her gender identity now, and he doesn't even know. So I'm stuck between wanting to protect her privacy and feeling like I'm hiding something huge about his own kid from a man who hasn't

• 50:34Speaker 01

  exactly earned trust. As a bonus side quest, I also have an ex-fiance who I own a house with, which we're trying to untangle after a breakup. Through all of this, I clearly have a history of choosing bad partners, and the universe keeps handing me group projects. Now I'm in the Midwest trying to build a good life with my girlfriend, who voted for Trump, so that's already a fun plot twist.

• 50:55Speaker 02

  Baby.

• 50:56Speaker 01

  And our blended family. I'm basically rebooting my life as this new version of me. So I'd love your advice on how to be honest with my kid's dad about our child exploring their gender identity, and do I start visits back up after 18 months of none? How many chances do you give out, give a checked-out partner before you stop trying? And how to balance starting over, new career, new partner, new version of me, with actually having time and energy left for my kids. Thanks for reading and untangling this with me, McKinley.

• 51:23Speaker 00

  Yomniq, I think you should begin.

• 51:25Speaker 02

  First of all, let me just say, McKinley... You're the type of person I would fall in love with. I mean, like-

• 51:34Speaker 00

  She falls in love with somebody every day.

• 51:35Speaker 02

  Every day, but also like, no, no, no. Cause I've, I know what you're doing. You're looking for love, baby. And in the process of looking for love, you keep going to places that are just taking advantage of your spirit. And I think it started with the Mormon church. They're garbage. I think, you know, it also starts with you now trying to, you know, you're going into a world of a new identity to the world and how the world is seeing you. Then you have to have this partner that you were in love with and with and had children with, have to now discover this new identity, who you are. They're probably not processing that well, which is why you have this distance. So that's another person abandoning you. Then you're like, you don't want to see your daughter

• 52:20Speaker 02

  go through the same thing because she's also trying to figure out what her identity is. But I can guarantee you that your former partner has no idea how to help her at all. And if anything, might be a deterrent. If after eight months, 18 months of not seeing, it is done for the children, right? Because they cannot have this wishy-washiness in their life. It is irresponsible of that person. And then because it's irresponsible and you're safeguarding your children, they have to kind of go no contact at this point. From my perspective, what I think you need to do is you need to write down what McKinley wants, what McKinley needs, so that you start going towards partners that have that.

• 53:01Speaker 02

  Because how you got hooked up with somebody who was a Trump supporter, knowing that everything that aligns with what you got going on is anti-Trump and the nonsense they have over there, is because you don't have enough safeguards around your spirits and you don't have enough boundaries in your life and you don't love you first. Once you fix that, you don't need our advice. And the rest of the shit is gonna fall. You are a beautiful person. I can just tell by your smile and spirit. Thank you so much for writing this in. It resonated with me in a lot of ways because I feel abandoned a lot. I felt unseen and unloved and I kept running after people who- Didn't love me because sometimes you think to yourself, if I can get somebody who doesn't love me

• 53:43Speaker 02

  and doesn't respect me to love me and respect me, I've won a battle and you haven't, okay? I hope that resonates with you. I just want to leave that with you, just in love, because I think it's more about you than anything else. Once you get with you, everything else is going to fall in place.

• 54:02Speaker 01

  Yeah. Yeah. How is that falling on you, McKinley?

• 54:06Speaker 04

  That's great advice. My current girlfriend I'm with voted for Trump and she actually is a really good person for me. So my problem that I have with is not with my current girlfriend.

• 54:21Speaker 02

  No, no, no, but it should be. It should be. Let me tell you why it should be, right? We have to be real about assessments and I'll bring it back to Chelsea and I. The optics on this, and I've said this before, I'm a black woman who talks very crazy about white people. Don't trust white people and I shouldn't, right? The history of white people is gross. But at the same time, it's like, I wouldn't, I'm not here to like dance and prance for somebody because I want to be accepted and I want to be loved. Like over here, I know that if some shit's going down, even though I get on her nerves, this woman has my back when it comes to being a woman, a black woman, all of that support. If she didn't, I could not be here.

• 55:04Speaker 02

  There's something in you that you think is okay. You can't be with the Trump support. I'm just telling you, baby. Everything you got, you're a trans man divorced.

• 55:15Speaker 04

  Right.

• 55:16Speaker 02

  You understand?

• 55:17Speaker 04

  Right.

• 55:17Speaker 02

  The fact that you think she's a good person, she's a da, da, da, da, not in this time and climate? Because there's got to be something that she's got going on with her. Because how could she vote for Trump when Trump is against you?

• 55:30Speaker 04

  Right. I get that. Sometimes you make mistakes and grown up Mormon. I, I, I, yeah. So when I had a phone call with her, because I met her online, two hours into the phone call was when I dropped the whole, "Hey, you probably didn't realize I'm a trans male on my profile." And she said, "At this point, I would be a complete idiot to not give this a chance." And that was, um, about six months ago. So we just started dating in, in January.

• 56:00Speaker 02

  No, that baby, listen to me. Online, I say the same thing. Everybody's lying, okay? I'm not telling people I'm a comedian. I tell men, I teach blind cats how to read. So the reality is, people are saying all kinds of shit. It's been six months. She would be a fool, right? To adhere to what she got going on to lose out on you, but the reality is, there's going to be a time when she's gonna have to choose between you and what she believes in. And I'm telling you, baby, that's dangerous territory for you.

• 56:32Speaker 04

  Yeah. Okay, I hear you.

• 56:35Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 56:35Speaker 00

  Yeah, I agree with her. I think that, yeah, you, it's like you have a pattern of behavior that's like a pathology. And you kind of have to nip it in the bud. Like, you're not looking after yourself. That's why it's like a repetition of kind of bad choices.

• 56:52Speaker 01

  Well, and I get why it feels comfortable, right? Because it's like, you know, you're coming out of this previous relationship. Things are tumultuous with work and with your ex and all these things, but, or exes and all these things. But this feels comfortable, right? Like, this feels like a cozy, safe space where you are held. But I do think that Yamaneika is right. Like, when it comes down to her choosing between her church that has very conservative views, like her beliefs and her relationship with you, I think there's gonna be a dividing point there. But I want to also go back to what Yamaneika was saying about. How we fill the void that's happening for you and how we get McKinley to love McKinley? So that you can stand on your own two feet.

• 57:36Speaker 01

  And are you in any kind of therapy, seeing anybody in that capacity?

• 57:41Speaker 04

  I was in therapy and I was on medicine and I work at a company that doesn't provide very good insurance coverage. So I have to wait until next month to start therapy again.

• 57:55Speaker 02

  Mary J. Blige has a song called Good Morning Gorgeous, right?

• 57:58Speaker 04

  Yes, yes.

• 57:59Speaker 02

  And it's like, at first I was like, this is so ridiculous, you know, like you gotta do this. But I started getting into that song and it's like, you need to get up in the morning and say, Good morning gorgeous to yourself. I can see it all over you and not as a judgment, it's because I am like that too. This is like really sensitive and you're trying to hold it all in, but it's hurting you at the same time. And as long as you're okay and acquiesce to the bullshit around you, you think you'll be safe, but you won't. You're a great person, amazing. Like just from the presence of you, I want you to know that. And I don't know if you see that in you and you need to, you got to, baby. You have to.

• 58:41Speaker 04

  I'm trying.

• 58:42Speaker 02

  No, you really do. Immediately when I saw you on the screen, I said, wow, just so beautiful. Really.

• 58:49Speaker 04

  I tried so hard and I've been trying to ask for help. It's like I get nine yards out of the 10 yards and I can't freaking get that one yard. It's like, I tried to ask help for everywhere and try to figure things out and I'm just so financially screwed trying. And it's just like, how do you do all these things? You know, how do you like, I have all this past, I'm trying to protect and protect my future and trying to do so many things. It's so hard. Sorry.

• 59:15Speaker 02

  No, you're okay. We're also going through this. You know what I mean? Like I cry, Chelsea cries, you know, we've cried to each other. Like you're not alone in this feeling. It feels so isolating, but I, I, I promise you and I understand finances, God knows, you know, and I understand all those things. They can change the fabric of your life, but the First thing you have to do is you have to love you and really know that all the decisions of that happen in your life have to be because they are going to benefit McKinley. Do you understand? Because if not, the finance is not going to get good. The relationship is not going to get good. You're going to keep chasing things that don't serve you because like Catherine said, you just want to be comfortable, but you're unfortunately comfortable in trauma.

• 59:59Speaker 04

  I think I'm just like in survival mode. I'm just trying to just, you know.

• 1:00:03Speaker 01

  I mean, if individual therapy isn't something that can happen right now for financial or any other reasons, let's find you a support group in your area so that you have some outlet for this. Like, we need weekly support, right? Right? You don't have to do this alone. And we don't want you to do this alone.

• 1:00:19Speaker 04

  Thank you.

• 1:00:20Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:00:21Speaker 04

  Thank you. I appreciate it.

• 1:00:22Speaker 01

  Yeah. And Chelsea, what would you say as far as like if there's a step that McKinley can take every single day to just get in touch with himself and listen to himself? What would?

• 1:00:31Speaker 00

  Yeah, you should get up in the mornings and write down like you are magnificent, you are magnetic, and you are resilient. And like write those three things down each morning in your, you know, on a piece of paper and start saying that to yourself.

• 1:00:48Speaker 04

  Okay, that was magnificent, resilient. What was the second one?

• 1:00:51Speaker 00

  Magnetic.

• 1:00:53Speaker 04

  Magnetic. Thank you.

• 1:00:54Speaker 02

  And also go find your own words. I wouldn't be writing too many things down that she says.

• 1:00:58Speaker 04

  You know what? Chelsea's my god, so I will listen.

• 1:01:02Speaker 02

  That's where you have bad decisions again.

• 1:01:05Speaker 04

  I know.

• 1:01:06Speaker 00

  Hey, I'm your god too, bitch.

• 1:01:07Speaker 02

  Honey, I wish the Lord over Jesus Christ to Nazareth. Ain't no way I'm putting away from him again. Over Jesus Christ to Nazareth?

• 1:01:16Speaker 00

  The Lord is within all of us.

• 1:01:17Speaker 02

  Bitch, you wouldn't even cross the street to get me a hot dog. And you think I put you over Jesus Christ to Nazareth? And not no way.

• 1:01:23Speaker 04

  Joe Soy Lordo.

• 1:01:27Speaker 04

  No, no, it's Lordo.

• 1:01:29Speaker 01

  No, it's Lordo. That is correct. McKinley, no, it's Lordo.

• 1:01:33Speaker 04

  I served a mission. I served a mission and had to learn all Spanish. It couldn't be.

• 1:01:43Speaker 01

  Will you check in with me? Let me know if you can find something in your area. If not, I'm gonna help you look. Like somewhere that you can have a group every week. But will you check in with me like pretty quickly and we'll, we'll get you on the right track?

• 1:01:59Speaker 00

  Thanks for calling again, McKinley.

• 1:02:01Speaker 01

  Yeah, we love you.

• 1:02:02Speaker 02

  We do love you. So much love. Love you, baby.

• 1:02:05Speaker 04

  I love you all. Thank you so much.

• 1:02:07Speaker 02

  Of course, my love.

• 1:02:10Speaker 00

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• 1:05:11Speaker 01

  I do have one more caller if you're ready for...

• 1:05:13Speaker 02

  Chelsea gets tired of helping. Let's go. Let's run through here.

• 1:05:19Speaker 01

  Okay, our last caller is Katie and she says, Dear Chelsea, I need advice for how to deal with my sister. We're both in our 50s and a year apart. We were very close as children, but we went in very different directions as adults. That said, we still live in the town where we grew up and we're both close with our mother and extended family. Here's the problem. There was no inciting event, but over the last several years, maybe even going back to our early 30s, we're like oil and water. We tolerate each other, but there is constant tension. I know I'm not perfect, but it feels like she's constantly sniping at me, criticizing me, being negative and cutting me down. I've been sober for almost three years and I'm committed to live and let live toward life in general. I try to tune her out and be the bigger person, but it gets harder every time I see her.

• 1:06:04Speaker 01

  We just spent the weekend traveling with our 80-year-old mom for a family event, and I'm ready to never speak to her again. But that would break my mom's heart, which is out of the question. I also don't want to lose my only sister, but maybe I already have. I know you've been through a lot with your extended family, Chelsea, so any thoughts? I appreciate you and your team, Katie.

• 1:06:21Speaker 00

  Hi.

• 1:06:22Speaker 01

  Hi, hi.

• 1:06:23Speaker 05

  Hi.

• 1:06:23Speaker 00

  Hi, how are you?

• 1:06:25Speaker 02

  Hello, Katie.

• 1:06:25Speaker 05

  I'm great. It's so exciting to be here.

• 1:06:27Speaker 00

  Hi, this is Yamaneika.

• 1:06:28Speaker 02

  Glad to have you. Hi, I'm Yamaneika, Katie.

• 1:06:31Speaker 05

  Oh my, oh my God, I'll try to watch my mouth in your presence. I know how sensitive you are.

• 1:06:35Speaker 02

  Baby, you're so slick, cutie pie. You trying to be my sister?

• 1:06:39Speaker 00

  Well, wait, what's the situation? What's, why can't you get, what, is she so annoying and you're so annoying to her? You both hate each other, like annoy each other?

• 1:06:48Speaker 05

  Kind of, yeah.

• 1:06:50Speaker 00

  Are you angry at her about something?

• 1:06:52Speaker 05

  After this trip that we went on, my husband said the only solution he saw was that we go in the backyard with boxing gloves. Like, all right, well.

• 1:07:01Speaker 02

  There's a resentment somewhere. Where, where's the resentment?

• 1:07:04Speaker 05

  I don't know. I mean, I, I could, I could make some guesses. I mean, I think that our lives have turned out, you know, our lives have turned out basically the way that we wanted them to, you know? I always wanted to be a career person and I am. My sister is a stay-at-home mom and she loves her kids and she loves that. But it seems like, I think she resents the freedom that I have. I mean, if I had to guess, I'd say what that is, but it's so hard to have an honest conversation with her that I'm speculating when I say that.

• 1:07:33Speaker 00

  So what's your issue with her?

• 1:07:37Speaker 05

  It's just, it's the constant cut downs. It's the constant, it's just this constant, like, yeah.

• 1:07:43Speaker 02

  Right, she's trying to belittle you because I, I think, I don't think she probably is as happy as you think she is or satisfied, right? I think, I'm not a mother and I've never been able to fool a man into marrying me. But I can tell you this, that there is a sense of accomplishment quite early once you go into relationship that probably goes into marriage and then children. And then after that, you have to look at yourself and go, what's next? That's something that you don't have to worry about as a career woman. Because what next is the career thing. You haven't really locked down life. People are locking down life early, seeing people do and evolve beyond where they've stopped. And then there's a resentment. So because she feels bad about what you got going on in the freedom,

• 1:08:28Speaker 02

  you got, she wants to cut you down and make you feel the same as her. You cannot be in a relationship like that without communicating, hey, I, listen, I don't like when you say this. I don't like when you say that. It makes me feel this way. If they love you enough and respect you enough, then they will hear it. If they don't, then you just have to separate. But I, you can't force your sister to have a conversation with you if she doesn't want to have a conversation with you. And if she's not going to talk or communicate her real feelings to you, then you have to either limit contact or go no contact.

• 1:09:00Speaker 00

  When she's cutting you down, what's your reaction to that?

• 1:09:04Speaker 05

  I just, I kind of go gray rock, you know, I just, I dissociate. Yeah. Honestly, sometimes I, sometimes I try to change the subject. It just depends on who else is around us. Very rarely is it just her and I because I don't spend time with her unless I really have to because of the larger family. And I don't want to be rude or cause a, you know, a big family kerfuffle. By telling her, you know, you're being rude, you're being a jerk, can you stop? You know, it, it just feels so impossible to me because of the, the larger family dynamic.

• 1:09:38Speaker 02

  Let me ask you something. When you get angry, do you really like, is it uncontrollable anger?

• 1:09:44Speaker 05

  Um, I, I'm, I'm an Enneagram one. If that makes any sense. I'm a, you know, the perfectionist type that just internalizes.

• 1:09:55Speaker 00

  What's your star sign? Should, that'll make sense to her.

• 1:09:57Speaker 02

  No, it's not. What I'm saying to you is what I do a lot, and it gets me in problems, uh, right? Is because I know, like, once you piss me off, once I've gotten pissed off and I've gone beyond. There's no, I'm, I'm getting ready to get with your ass in a really wild way, right? And probably when I'm done getting with you, we're gonna have to sever ties unless you can emotionally get over the fact that I just ran you into the ground. So a lot of times I try to avoid those situations by being the nicer person, the bigger person, or the ah, you know, and over time that builds up and it's frustrating to you because it's like, you're going gray rock all the time while your sister going hot lava.

• 1:10:39Speaker 02

  You need to get with her. We're in these moments, you need to be like, hey bitch, hold on a second. Why are you talking crazy to me like that? What's up? What have I done? No, because as long as you allow it, it's going to get done that way.

• 1:10:52Speaker 00

  I, I agree. I think like you have to face it honestly, like, and, and even if she can't be honest, you have to get her to be honest. Like, you have to be like, listen, this is ridiculous. We hate each other. Why do we hate each other? Let's talk about it. Would you rather, I would like to figure this out. Let's figure this out together. Like, what, what can I do? I'll do anything to have a normal relationship. Do you fucking hate me? Like, you have to have like a moment of real honesty to get, because you guys then can actually break the, all the tension and come together.

• 1:11:21Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:11:21Speaker 00

  Sorry that I'm yelling.

• 1:11:23Speaker 02

  No, you're right. You're passionate.

• 1:11:24Speaker 01

  You're okay.

• 1:11:24Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah, so that I...

• 1:11:27Speaker 02

  She was passionate. She was talking about her and I. That's how we, we're also these sisters. Did you write this letter and tell her what it is?

• 1:11:33Speaker 00

  Shut up. Shut up.

• 1:11:35Speaker 05

  Oh.

• 1:11:37Speaker 00

  But yeah, but I also...

• 1:11:38Speaker 05

  I can't, I can't time out Chelsea like that.

• 1:11:40Speaker 00

  But I, but also I feel like there can't be, it's like tension without two people having the tension. Do you know what I mean? Like if she, you can't, there has to be something coming from you too that is like an explosive energy, and that's why it should, it needs to combust. You know, like you can't dance when somebody's not dancing.

• 1:11:59Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:12:00Speaker 00

  I mean, I can actually. That's my only time I should be dancing is when no one else is dancing.

• 1:12:07Speaker 02

  No, but you're right. I mean, that's what you can't. I'm not dancing. I didn't have any good dancers. Yo, but you seem like you're in this thing by yourself. And Chelsea's right, you gotta engage your sister in it. Cause she also has to feel uncomfortable. And you think she writing a letter somewhere about what you got? You know, she's not writing a letter. She over there baking cookies for your nieces and nephews. And you over here trying to figure out how you're gonna get your situation back with your sister. You guys are sisters. Either that's important to you or it's not. If it is, then some egos are gonna have to shift. Some conversations are gonna have to happen. And hopefully at the end of it, you guys remain sisters and build on a better relationship.

• 1:12:43Speaker 01

  Yeah, and I think the time to have this conversation is not after she's just said something that activates you. But like, before you go into time with your mom or whatever.

• 1:12:52Speaker 02

  I, you know what, Catherine, let me just say this. I say, wait till she act, cause then she know who, I must, for real. If you do this bitch, every time you do this, you activate this. You understand? You start training. You do this, and then I become this, right? I have the conversation with her here. If you wanna keep meeting me here bitch, I'm available to meet you here. At this, sorry to keep calling your sister a bitch. One of y'all is a bitch.

• 1:13:19Speaker 01

  Sounds like she is.

• 1:13:20Speaker 02

  But, right, for sure. One of you is a bitch. I don't know. We gotta hear your sister's story. Maybe she'll write in next week. But what I'm telling you is, the reality is, every time she's like this, you gotta give her the results of what that is. So that at some point she probably go, whoa, hey, can we talk? She might be coming to you to talk because if you're gonna be a wombat bitch, so am I.

• 1:13:42Speaker 05

  That would shock her so badly, cause I think everyone in my family is so used to me being like, uh, you know, just so non-reactive to things, cause that's how I deal.

• 1:13:51Speaker 01

  And she's not, she's not saying this stuff to you to not get a reaction. She might be surprised at a reaction, but she's saying it to goad you. I mean, even if it's something as simple as like, she says something shouldn't, you're like, wow, I can't believe you felt comfortable saying that to me. Or I can't believe you felt it was okay to say that to me.

• 1:14:06Speaker 02

  And I can't believe it's not butter bitch, but I'm telling you right now is the next time you say something wild to me, I'm all over the place. You have the profile of a serial killer. Do you understand? Serial killers lay dormant, nothing, doing nothing. They also running businesses and baking cookies and shit. And then one day you're gonna flip out. I make sure, redact my address from anything that might be on any paperwork, cause you're not gonna come kill me for giving you bad advice. I can tell you where Chelsea lives.

• 1:14:34Speaker 00

  Actually, I have to move because you stayed here.

• 1:14:41Speaker 01

  Oh, that's the thing they got her to move.

• 1:14:45Speaker 05

  I have considered from time to time saying to her, you know, I'm sorry, could you repeat that? Because I think if she could actually hear herself say like.

• 1:14:53Speaker 00

  Yeah, that's a good first step. Could you repeat that? That's a good first step on your journey back to having this turn into.

• 1:15:00Speaker 02

  Yeah, could you repeat that? Because I know, I know you want it.

• 1:15:05Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah. Somewhere in the middle is some good advice for you on this. I think we really. Like somewhere in the middle, like I, we definitely unfortunately got high, very high, but.

• 1:15:17Speaker 00

  That's Denzel when she talks like that.

• 1:15:18Speaker 02

  But I do, I do want you, like no matter what, all joking aside with this, we do want you to have this conversation with your sister. You owe it to yourself because you feel a certain way about it. So even though it may be, you might be nervous about it, you're intimidated by it. I promise you, once you have that conversation, whether it's good or bad, there's going to be a relief that you feel because at least you're going to have some better answers than you do now. You have no idea what's going on with you and your sister.

• 1:15:50Speaker 01

  You know what? That's a very good point. Like I had several years ago, a similar conversation with my sister where we like went to dinner. We knew we were going to hash some shit out. We had a lot of martinis, like we talked about it and like there were some things that she had said to me in the past that she didn't know were as hurtful as they were, and it was, you know, repetitive stuff. And there were things I had said to her that I had no, like dumb jokes I was trying to make and like, oh, that was really actually very hurtful to her. So it really was eye opening to be able to like have a conversation where you know you are going in to have this conversation about like, we need to work some shit out. We need to figure some stuff out so that we can be around each other when we want to be here for our mom. Because that's where you want to be.

• 1:16:35Speaker 05

  Right. Yeah, that is the most important thing to me.

• 1:16:38Speaker 01

  Exactly.

• 1:16:39Speaker 05

  And I, you know, I like, I mean, my mom is in really good health, but you know, I like to think that she sees this tension, even though she absolutely refuses to weigh in on it. And I, I think she would like, she would like to leave this earth knowing that her two girls love each other and can get along.

• 1:16:53Speaker 00

  And somebody has to be the cycle breaker.

• 1:16:56Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:16:57Speaker 00

  So be that person.

• 1:16:58Speaker 05

  That's what I'm trying to do. Yeah.

• 1:17:01Speaker 00

  So what you're doing isn't working.

• 1:17:02Speaker 01

  No.

• 1:17:03Speaker 00

  So you have to change your approach and then break the cycle.

• 1:17:07Speaker 00

  Be a disruptor. This is a good disruptor. You're a bad disruptor. Um, all right. Well, I'm glad you called in and keep us posted. Let us know what happens.

• 1:17:17Speaker 05

  I really appreciate the advice and all the good advice that y'all give on your show over the years. It's helped me a lot in different areas and I've passed it along to other people that have come to me for advice. It's just, you know, you guys could be just like drinking martinis all day long and not helping people, but you're spending your time doing this and I really appreciate it.

• 1:17:36Speaker 01

  Thanks, Katie.

• 1:17:37Speaker 00

  Love that. Thank you so much.

• 1:17:39Speaker 01

  All right. Good luck with this conversation. Okay.

• 1:17:41Speaker 00

  All right.

• 1:17:42Speaker 05

  Thanks.

• 1:17:42Speaker 00

  You can do it.

• 1:17:44Speaker 01

  All right. And that's it for us today.

• 1:17:46Speaker 00

  Thank God this is over.

• 1:17:48Speaker 02

  I know. She's, I know, but thank God.

• 1:17:50Speaker 00

  I have to be honest. I dropped out during the middle of one of those letters. I just was like, my head was in the fucking clouds. I was thinking about what I'm going to eat later.

• 1:17:59Speaker 02

  No, you were at big highs at that moment.

• 1:18:00Speaker 01

  I wasn't thinking you guys would be stoned. I picked some very like complicated questions.

• 1:18:03Speaker 00

  This was a great episode. Great questions. I like all the drama. No, I like heavy stuff like that.

• 1:18:09Speaker 01

  Yamaneika, you brought it today. You absolutely brought it.

• 1:18:12Speaker 02

  I appreciate that. And listen, again, I'm so excited to be on Dear Chelsea Network. This is.

• 1:18:18Speaker 00

  I can't wait till we get the color of your foundation right. I can't wait for that.

• 1:18:22Speaker 02

  I can't wait till you stop bringing that up, bitch. I told you, I'm fine. Don't worry. Don't be checking bitches about their face. Thank you. So anyway, if you want to hear less helpful advice, but more in your ass shit, please go listen to You're the Problem, myself included, with Yamaneika on the Dear Chelsea Network.

• 1:18:45Speaker 00

  This is very exciting, you guys. Please go listen to Yamaneika so you can get a dose of her the way I, I want you to understand what my life is like. So I want everyone to

• 1:18:56Speaker 02

  You and my mama.

• 1:18:57Speaker 00

  Yeah, and you can follow her on Instagram also. But if you see her do a live, please report her to me.

• 1:19:05Speaker 01

  To you or to Instagram?

• 1:19:07Speaker 00

  To me.

• 1:19:08Speaker 02

  Me doing live.

• 1:19:09Speaker 00

  Now that she has a podcast, she does not need to do as many lives.

• 1:19:13Speaker 01

  I agree, I agree.

• 1:19:14Speaker 02

  In the blue.

• 1:19:15Speaker 00

  Okay, well, that means once every 30 seconds.

• 1:19:18Speaker 02

  No, it doesn't.

• 1:19:19Speaker 00

  All right. I love you, sort of.

• 1:19:22Speaker 02

  I love you.

• 1:19:23Speaker 00

  I love you.

• 1:19:23Speaker 02

  Okay, you know you do.

• 1:19:24Speaker 00

  It's called What's You're the Problem? You're the Problem.

• 1:19:27Speaker 02

  Would you like to learn the name? It's also Catherine, I love you too. Thank you for having me.

• 1:19:32Speaker 01

  I love you too, Yam.

• 1:19:33Speaker 02

  I have so much fun with you.

• 1:19:34Speaker 00

  Edit that part out.

• 1:19:36Speaker 02

  It's You're the Problem with Yamaneika on Dear Chelsea Network.

• 1:19:41Speaker 00

  Do you want to get a massage before you go to the airport tonight?

• 1:19:43Speaker 02

  I would love to.

• 1:19:45Speaker 01

  All right, bye. If you want advice from Chelsea, write into [email protected]. Dear Chelsea is a production of iHeart Media. Follow Chelsea on all socials at Chelsea Handler and find Catherine on TikTok at Flash Kadabra. Dear Chelsea is edited and engineered by Brandon Dickert, executive producer Catherine Law. Find full video episodes and minisodes now on Netflix and get tickets to see Chelsea live at ChelseaHandler.com.

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