Vicky Christina Madelyn Cline

Madelyn Cline joins Chelsea to discuss the final season of her hit show Outer Banks, the perils of layering sunblock and deet, and the benefits of dating a finance guy. Then: A listener may need to be a little meaner when turning down dates. A husband’s Youtube fave triggers his wife’s ED. And a 27-year-old with teenage daughters wonders when she gets to have a life. * Need some advice from Chelsea? Email us at [email protected] mailto:[email protected] * Executive Producer Catherine Law Edited & Engineered by Brad Dickert * * * The views and opinions expressed are solely those of the Podcast author, or individuals participating in the Podcast, and do not represent the opinions of iHeartMedia or its employees. This Podcast should not be used as medical advice, mental health advice, mental health counseling or therapy, or as imparting any health care recommendations at all. Individuals are advised to seek independent medical, counseling advice and/or therapy from a competent health care professional with respect to any medical condition, mental health issues, health inquiry or matter, including matters discussed on this Podcast. Guests and listeners should not rely on matters discussed in the Podcast and shall not act or shall refrain from acting based on information contained in the Podcast without first seeking independent medical advice. See omnystudio.com/listener https://omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

• 0:00Speaker 00

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• 2:55Speaker 00

  Hello, Catherine.

• 2:56Speaker 01

  Hi, Chelsea, are you fluent in Spanish yet?

• 2:59Speaker 00

  I am doing pretty well. I mean, my driver in New York is named Rafa, and he speaks Spanish, and he cannot believe how much I've improved in two weeks.

• 3:09Speaker 01

  Oh, fantastic.

• 3:09Speaker 00

  Yeah, he didn't know I went to school in Spain. So I told him in Spanish, and he was like, and then he started, and then he's like, oh, my God, I'm not going to be able to correct you anymore. And I'm like, oh, don't worry, you'll find a fucking way. And then, of course, within, but, but yeah, he was really impressed. And, and my also, a couple of people I work with were, I was talking Spanish with. So I definitely understand a lot more, and I know a lot more. I'm not fluent, but I am definitely way better than I was when I got there. So that's exciting.

• 3:39Speaker 01

  I noticed you've been improving with your, like, low and lot, like, I think it's the possessive stuff. I mean, you're crushing it.

• 3:45Speaker 00

  I just, I loved my time alone. It felt like I was a mother away from her children, even though I don't have children. I just walked to school every day by myself with my little rucksack. And then, I mean, I don't have a rucksack, but I just wanted to throw that out there. And then I already had, like, a group of doctors by day three. I was getting a massage, and then I was like, oh, I need to get this kind of dry needling. They had this, Madrid is such a beautiful city. So many of my friends were coming through Madrid unbeknownst to me. So that, that was a surprise. I'd go to school for three hours. My teacher only, my profesora, only spoke Spanish. And then, after that, I would take myself to some ridiculously delightful lunch, have,

• 4:27Speaker 00

  like, two glasses of wine, and then I'd walk through the streets of Madrid. It was heaven on earth.

• 4:33Speaker 01

  How lovely. You're just, like, fill your life with whimsy. That's, that's the move.

• 4:37Speaker 00

  Loved it. I just was so happy. Everyone at the hotel was like, they kept testing me on my Spanish, day three, day four. And I was like Eloise at the Plaza. I just was like, I was just so happy. I love, I just belong in a hotel.

• 4:54Speaker 01

  I agree with that. How did your blind date go, by the way? Did that materialize?

• 4:57Speaker 00

  I don't think I went on a blind date. No, I was set up with people, like, friends, not like in a romantic way. No, I didn't even think about men, honestly. There was one guy that was trying to hit on me once. I was in the bar at my restaurant, and I was like, is this guy hitting? And he was, I mean, he must have been 20 years old, and he was, like, seriously trying to stray. And I was like, I was like, at one point, I wanted to go, I, I meant to say, like, not senor, but whatever the other word for it is in Spanish, but I couldn't think of what it was. I was about to call him, like, boy. And then I'm like, don't call him boy, that's not right either. But I wanted to be like, I could be your mother, get away from me, I'm not interested in that. I like young boys, I mean, not, I like young men, I don't, I don't like young boys, you

• 5:42Speaker 00

  know what I mean? Like, it's gotta be something, like, in the appropriate age range. I'm not interested. Anyway, I'm home now, I'm in New York City, and we have a great episode today. You know this actress, she was adorable from Glass Onion, Stranger Things, and her hit series, which is now in its final season, Outer Banks. Please welcome Madeline Klein. Oh, my God, we have Madeline Klein here today. Hi, cutie, patootie, fresh and fruity. What were you talking about? You were talking about snowboarding?

• 6:11Speaker 01

  Yeah, so I, so we were talking about how wakeboarding makes you feel like you can absolutely snowboard because it's kind of the same thing.

• 6:19Speaker 00

  Yes, I understand this.

• 6:20Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 6:21Speaker 00

  I had a very easy time wake surfing, the very first time I did it. I think I got up on the first time.

• 6:25Speaker 01

  I did, too.

• 6:26Speaker 00

  Have you been water skiing?

• 6:28Speaker 01

  No.

• 6:28Speaker 00

  Okay, that's much more, that's much more difficult.

• 6:31Speaker 01

  Especially when they do it on, like, the one ski?

• 6:33Speaker 00

  Yeah, I can't do that.

• 6:34Speaker 01

  That's insane.

• 6:35Speaker 00

  I can't water ski, period. And I can snow ski really well, but I can't water ski.

• 6:39Speaker 01

  I just know I would wipe out and, like, break every bone in my face.

• 6:42Speaker 00

  It feels like if one of your legs goes in the wrong direction, all hell breaks loose.

• 6:47Speaker 01

  Oh, you're cut.

• 6:47Speaker 00

  Right, and it does, it does. It's not pretty when you wipe out.

• 6:50Speaker 01

  No, so like, I went snowboarding for my birthday in 2021, I think, and...

• 6:59Speaker 00

  I like the way you said 21.

• 7:00Speaker 01

  21.

• 7:01Speaker 00

  2021. Very phonetic.

• 7:04Speaker 01

  Thank you. That's its Christian name. I'm trying to enunciate more because a lot of times I just, so, I've been on, I've been on, like, red carpet interviews, and I go back and I re-watch it, and I'm like, I sound so drunk. And then I'll, like, look at the comments, and they're like, oh, our girl's gone. And I'm like, I really wasn't, maybe had a glass or two before, but wasn't that gone.

• 7:27Speaker 00

  Sometimes I'll record a stand-up set that I'm doing, and I always have a drink before I go on stage.

• 7:32Speaker 01

  Obviously.

• 7:32Speaker 00

  And I, yeah, of course. And I, then I look, and then I'll watch it and think, I'm like, I'll be like, oh, clip that for socials to my social team, and then they'll send it to me, and I'm like, oh, my, I'm like, look for this area when I'm talking about this. And I'm like, my God, I, but there's just like a...

• 7:48Speaker 01

  Like a seam hammer.

• 7:48Speaker 00

  As soon as, yeah, because if I don't have a drink, I talk too fast. I talk like this, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. I have to take it down.

• 7:55Speaker 01

  I, yeah, if I don't, if I don't have a drink or a beta blocker, both.

• 7:59Speaker 00

  Right, or a beta blocker. I take beta blockers as well.

• 8:01Speaker 01

  I get so scared and so anxious, and I'm like, and then I'm like, ugh, what I'm saying is so stupid. And then I just...

• 8:10Speaker 01

  To be fair, some of those questions are stupid. You know, like a red carpet, like...

• 8:14Speaker 00

  Like, who are you wearing? That's the first stupid question.

• 8:17Speaker 01

  I know, I hate that.

• 8:18Speaker 00

  It's like, why do we have to talk about that?

• 8:20Speaker 01

  Who ca...

• 8:21Speaker 00

  I mean, well, I mean, some people, the designer does care.

• 8:24Speaker 01

  The designer cares.

• 8:25Speaker 00

  So that's for them.

• 8:26Speaker 01

  The fashion girlies care.

• 8:27Speaker 00

  But like, sometimes it's just not, I don't know, it doesn't always feel like an appropriate question.

• 8:31Speaker 01

  No, because it's like, the designer obviously does care, but like, for the, the majority of the people watching, I don't think it's really, like, the most relevant.

• 8:40Speaker 00

  And also, when we post it, you give credit to who you're wearing anyway. So it's just a silly conversation to have, I agree with you.

• 8:46Speaker 01

  It's like also a really weird opener.

• 8:48Speaker 00

  Yes, who are you wearing? And then you're like, Vera Wang, it's my wedding, obviously, I'm wearing Vera Wang. I've been married multiple times.

• 8:56Speaker 01

  Oh, my God.

• 8:58Speaker 00

  Yeah, seven.

• 8:58Speaker 01

  How, seven?

• 8:59Speaker 00

  No, I've never been married.

• 9:01Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 9:01Speaker 00

  And I will never be married.

• 9:02Speaker 01

  I think that's chic.

• 9:03Speaker 00

  I know. I think it would be cute to get engaged.

• 9:06Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 9:07Speaker 00

  And just stay engaged and keep having engagement parties.

• 9:10Speaker 01

  I'm just like, just give me the fucking ring.

• 9:12Speaker 00

  But do you need the ring from some man? I mean, can't you buy your own ring?

• 9:15Speaker 01

  Yeah, but I don't really feel like paying for it if he will.

• 9:18Speaker 00

  Right, okay, copy that.

• 9:19Speaker 01

  You know what I mean? Then I can go spend my money on other things that I want, like another ring.

• 9:26Speaker 00

  You've never been married, you're too young to be married.

• 9:28Speaker 01

  No, I've never been married.

• 9:28Speaker 00

  How old are you?

• 9:29Speaker 01

  28.

• 9:30Speaker 00

  28, okay. That's not too young to be married.

• 9:32Speaker 01

  The other day, so...

• 9:34Speaker 02

  Well, someone asked me my age and I was like 26 or 27.

• 9:45Speaker 02

  I don't know.

• 9:45Speaker 00

  Did you forget? Or you just, oh, you did?

• 9:47Speaker 02

  Genuinely forgot and I'm not even, I'm neither 26 nor am I 27. I'm actually 28.

• 9:54Speaker 00

  28.

• 9:54Speaker 02

  But I actually forgot and I had to go and do the math because I just-

• 9:58Speaker 00

  How did you do the math?

• 10:00Speaker 02

  Um.

• 10:00Speaker 00

  You went and figured out the year? Went back to the year you were born and counted backwards?

• 10:05Speaker 02

  27, 28, 29, went 100.

• 10:11Speaker 02

  I just genuinely stopped caring, I think, about which birthday it was after 25, 25th.

• 10:19Speaker 00

  Yeah, well, you'll care again at 30 and then 35 and then 40.

• 10:23Speaker 02

  I'm excited about 30.

• 10:24Speaker 00

  It's gonna get better and better and better. So you have nothing to worry about. Life gets better as a woman, the more experience you have being a woman, the better it gets.

• 10:34Speaker 02

  The like, the closer I get to 30 is I can feel my cortisol dropping. It's awesome. I'm like, okay, great, I'm getting less stressed.

• 10:43Speaker 00

  That's a good ad for something.

• 10:45Speaker 02

  Making for a beta blocker.

• 10:49Speaker 02

  I really need to like, I need to invent something. I need to invent a brand. Maybe I can do something.

• 10:54Speaker 00

  I'm sure there's something.

• 10:55Speaker 02

  Maybe that's my ad.

• 10:56Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah, that's a good tagline for whatever your ad is. The closer I get to 30, I can feel the cortisol dropping.

• 11:02Speaker 02

  Yeah, so I'm like, well, then I wonder how 30s are gonna, I'm gonna have zero cortisol at all.

• 11:07Speaker 01

  That's the thing, like, as you age, you kind of like care less about what other people think. You become more of yourself.

• 11:12Speaker 02

  It's so awesome.

• 11:13Speaker 01

  You have to take an active role in that a little bit too, but I think it also just happens as you age.

• 11:17Speaker 00

  So are you a millennial or, no, you're not a millennial, you're Gen Z?

• 11:21Speaker 02

  I'm like a millennial Gen Z cusp.

• 11:23Speaker 00

  Cusp?

• 11:23Speaker 02

  Yeah, so, but I feel like I am technically Gen Z, but I feel like sometimes I do millennial things.

• 11:30Speaker 00

  Like what?

• 11:30Speaker 02

  The millennial paws that everyone like flames millennials for doing, like, like when you go on Cameo and you get a cameo from like Jax Taylor and he's like, you can, he like-

• 11:43Speaker 00

  Not that you've done that.

• 11:44Speaker 02

  No, I haven't, but I've seen someone else's. And, and he like is recording and it's like literally three seconds where he's just waiting for it to start.

• 11:55Speaker 00

  Oh, that.

• 11:56Speaker 02

  I have, I have done that. It's embarrassing. I did get a cameo from Boston Rob.

• 12:02Speaker 00

  I've never gotten a cameo for someone.

• 12:04Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 12:05Speaker 00

  But people seem to like that as a gift.

• 12:06Speaker 02

  It's, it's really funny, I think, as a gag gift.

• 12:09Speaker 00

  Yeah, absolutely. Not as a serious gift.

• 12:11Speaker 02

  No, like an ironic.

• 12:12Speaker 00

  Yeah, because usually the people who are giving, providing the cameos are, you know, they're-

• 12:17Speaker 01

  It's the Jax Taylors of the world.

• 12:18Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah, I mean, no, it's, that's not gonna sound good, however, I try to clean up. So never mind, I'll just skip it.

• 12:24Speaker 01

  I got it.

• 12:25Speaker 02

  Rotten hell.

• 12:28Speaker 00

  Anyway, sign up for Cameo, everybody.

• 12:31Speaker 02

  Get a cameo.

• 12:31Speaker 00

  Yeah, get a Cameo account or order one.

• 12:34Speaker 02

  Maybe we could do a one for someone together, you and me.

• 12:37Speaker 00

  I would love to do that.

• 12:38Speaker 01

  We can do one for Boston Rob.

• 12:39Speaker 02

  We should.

• 12:40Speaker 00

  We should create the next level of Cameo.

• 12:44Speaker 01

  Cameo plus?

• 12:44Speaker 00

  This is for more legitimate people.

• 12:47Speaker 02

  I was like Riot for Cameo.

• 12:50Speaker 00

  Riot for Cameos, exactly. What is your like biggest dating deal breaker?

• 12:56Speaker 02

  I feel like sometimes when you're in a relationship with someone, especially when it's new, I'm like, I'm always like, I feel like I'm being pranked because there's like, you hit like a certain month mark and all of a sudden they start being mean.

• 13:07Speaker 00

  Or they start being real.

• 13:09Speaker 02

  Yeah, right.

• 13:10Speaker 00

  You start to see them.

• 13:11Speaker 02

  Like the real-

• 13:12Speaker 00

  What do you think that month mark is? How many months?

• 13:14Speaker 02

  I feel like it's like, it's always been kind of like three for me.

• 13:17Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 13:18Speaker 02

  If I even make it that far, like, because I feel like I'm always away, like on-

• 13:23Speaker 00

  Right.

• 13:24Speaker 02

  Working, so I feel like it usually expedites that process.

• 13:27Speaker 00

  Yes, well, I feel like it's kind of, similarly, I also date like a lot of long distance people. So it takes longer to get to that three month mark. So it usually happens around the five or six month mark.

• 13:39Speaker 02

  True.

• 13:40Speaker 00

  Where you start to see more than you saw in the beginning.

• 13:43Speaker 02

  Totally.

• 13:44Speaker 00

  Where it's not all sunshine and roses.

• 13:45Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 13:46Speaker 00

  What is something that somebody would have to do to ick you out in a dating scenario?

• 13:51Speaker 02

  The problem is like, I get the ick so easily.

• 13:53Speaker 00

  Me too, we're women.

• 13:54Speaker 02

  I'm like-

• 13:55Speaker 01

  What's the littlest thing you've gotten an ick from?

• 13:57Speaker 02

  I like, like mouth breathing, like close your mouth.

• 13:59Speaker 00

  Yeah. I don't like when somebody, a man says they're gonna go take care of something and then they come back empty handed.

• 14:06Speaker 02

  I don't like that either.

• 14:07Speaker 00

  Like, even if it's just, like, if we're at a function and then we can't find the bar and I'm like, okay, you need to go get us the drinks.

• 14:13Speaker 02

  Yeah, that's very true.

• 14:14Speaker 00

  And they're like, I couldn't get it. And it's like, no, no, that's not an option.

• 14:18Speaker 02

  Use your brain.

• 14:19Speaker 00

  You have to, can't come back empty handed. It doesn't have to be only alcohol focused either. I just want to make this clear.

• 14:25Speaker 02

  I don't know.

• 14:26Speaker 00

  It has to be task focused. If you're getting me something.

• 14:29Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 14:29Speaker 00

  Get the job done and don't come back until you've got it done. Cause like, I would never, if you needed something and I said I was gonna get it, I would come back with it.

• 14:36Speaker 02

  Or just like, okay, so this maybe wasn't like a relationship thing, but like on the same note, it's like, when people don't like use like their brain or common sense to like solve a problem.

• 14:46Speaker 00

  Right.

• 14:47Speaker 02

  Like, I was on a trip one time and the person I was on the trip with, like, we were, our, like, our tickets to, like this one, our tickets are, the QR code was not scanning and then like, they just stood there. And I was like, go, go to the ticket, like-

• 15:07Speaker 01

  Right, go talk to someone.

• 15:09Speaker 02

  They were like, I just don't know what to do. And I'm like, so I had to sprint to the offices, like, try to like express what was going on. The boat was about to leave and it was just like, it's just, I don't like feeling like I have to do everything.

• 15:25Speaker 00

  I think women in general are feeling this malaise. We are exhausted.

• 15:30Speaker 02

  I'm exhausted.

• 15:30Speaker 00

  By being so efficient.

• 15:32Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 15:32Speaker 00

  Like, what I get done in the first two hours of my day would rival what any man I've ever dated gets done in the first two hours of their day.

• 15:40Speaker 02

  Productive, like, so like, and I mean, I-

• 15:44Speaker 00

  Efficient, so.

• 15:45Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 15:46Speaker 00

  Not only productive, efficient.

• 15:47Speaker 02

  Multitasking.

• 15:48Speaker 00

  Okay, there's 18 emails. I'll get them all taken care of before I get going. And so like when, when, like, I once dated a guy who didn't answer emails. He didn't look at emails. And I was like, what do you mean you don't look at emails? You're a professional. He's like, I only operate through texts.

• 16:03Speaker 02

  I respond better to texts. I'm, actually, no, I take it back, I'm really bad at texts. I'm phone call, like-

• 16:11Speaker 01

  Like, pick up the phone on top?

• 16:13Speaker 00

  I'm curious about people who are bad at texting. Cause that is like the most immediate, like, way to communicate and it's, it's coming up on your phone, right?

• 16:21Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's, and it's coming up on my phone and the thing is, I am so like, there are so many things happening at one time that like, I see it and I'm like, okay, I'm gonna respond to that, so I don't open it. And then by the end of the, by the time I have like a chance or remember to look, there's like 10 more.

• 16:40Speaker 00

  I see.

• 16:41Speaker 02

  And I get so overwhelmed.

• 16:43Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 16:43Speaker 02

  And so I end up usually like calling.

• 16:47Speaker 00

  But you just said you don't like phone calls?

• 16:49Speaker 02

  No, I don't.

• 16:49Speaker 01

  No, she does, she does.

• 16:50Speaker 02

  I do.

• 16:51Speaker 00

  Oh, you do like phone calls?

• 16:52Speaker 02

  I prefer, cause I feel like that is, I don't know, my thumbs get tired.

• 16:56Speaker 01

  I like that, a phone call, like to respond to a text, I think that's very respectful.

• 17:00Speaker 00

  That is nice. I mean, you can't ever get mad at a phone call unless you're me and you do get mad at phone calls. But I've actually warmed up to phone calls. Cause I don't like a surprise FaceTime. Like, I don't like, I need you to like preliminarily discuss that with me or give me a heads up, like, I'm gonna, and the people who FaceTime me are wackadoodles. Like, I'm like, I'm not just answering a random FaceTime, but I've grown, like, I've kind of gotten more okay with FaceTime. I don't like the act of sitting there and holding a phone for that long. You know, that's, that's annoying.

• 17:31Speaker 01

  Right.

• 17:32Speaker 00

  So like, when you're talking on the phone, you can put an AirPod in and walk through the airport. Like, I'm not gonna walk through the airport on a FaceTime.

• 17:37Speaker 01

  Efficiency, you got shit to do.

• 17:38Speaker 00

  Yeah, exactly. I wanna be on the phone and also doing, me doing other things.

• 17:42Speaker 02

  Yeah, that's fair. I, I understand that. I just feel, like, I always feel like I, I'm able to convey inform, information much more, much clear, much more clearly if it is me just my stream, in my stream of consciousness. I'm like, okay, and, oh, and this thought, and that thought. And I feel like sometimes over email or texts, I can't quite do that as well.

• 18:09Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 18:09Speaker 00

  I understand.

• 18:10Speaker 01

  Yeah, totally.

• 18:13Speaker 00

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• 19:33Speaker 00

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• 20:17Speaker 00

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• 20:33Speaker 00

  Do you have like a group of girlfriends? Or are you like a best friend kind of girl? Like, what's your?

• 20:37Speaker 02

  I have a group, so it's, I wouldn't say it's like a girl group, but I guess it's just a bunch of people.

• 20:44Speaker 00

  Have you ever had a really bad friendship breakup?

• 20:47Speaker 02

  Yeah, I've had a couple.

• 20:48Speaker 00

  Really?

• 20:48Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 20:49Speaker 00

  And how do you handle that?

• 20:51Speaker 02

  It's really gnarly.

• 20:52Speaker 00

  It's gnarly for anyone. I was at, I say this, I was at dinner with a girlfriend last night and we were talking about it. We had the same breakup with the same girlfriend and we didn't know.

• 21:00Speaker 02

  Oh.

• 21:01Speaker 00

  And so she, and so then we went to dinner when we found out.

• 21:05Speaker 01

  That's good.

• 21:05Speaker 00

  And we just sat there and like, and I was like, God, I feel great.

• 21:09Speaker 02

  I feel so much. Was it like for the same reason?

• 21:12Speaker 00

  Yes. So that was like very cathartic because it was like we both, it was both unveiled that the same person did the same thing. And I already knew that because I've been around this town. I know a lot of the same, we know. And, but it was very, it felt like we were little girls in a sense. Cause you know, I'm a child than you, obviously. And I, you kind of want to get out of the habit of like gossip, but it didn't feel like gossip, it felt like therapy.

• 21:38Speaker 01

  Right. Being validated.

• 21:40Speaker 00

  I felt being seen and validated, like, oh, I was exactly right in what I deduced. But it took me so much longer than it took her to figure out what was going on.

• 21:49Speaker 02

  Right. Well, it's also like, it's not gossip if you're just spreading awareness.

• 21:56Speaker 00

  That's a great line too. That's for your other brand. It's not gossip if you're spreading awareness.

• 22:01Speaker 02

  Spreading awareness.

• 22:01Speaker 00

  My driver the other day said to me, it's not gossip. Cause I said the same thing about this conversation to him. I go, it was like, he said, it's not gossip if it's information.

• 22:11Speaker 02

  That's, that's the thing.

• 22:13Speaker 00

  And that's actually, because there is a way, there is a way where you can get with your friends, whether they're your guy friends, girlfriends, whatever, where it can be nasty. And you're talking about someone.

• 22:24Speaker 02

  It can be malicious.

• 22:25Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 22:26Speaker 02

  That is, that to me like is toxic and bad.

• 22:30Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 22:31Speaker 02

  Bad.

• 22:31Speaker 00

  And a bad habit to get into on the regular.

• 22:33Speaker 02

  Absolutely. Like you, there's no reason to say nasty things about people. If there is something that needs to be conveyed, then, then if you're just telling the truth, then like if they get mad at it, then they shouldn't have done it.

• 22:48Speaker 00

  Mm-hmm.

• 22:49Speaker 02

  But I lost.

• 22:52Speaker 00

  Your train of thought?

• 22:53Speaker 02

  Yeah, I did.

• 22:54Speaker 00

  Well, luckily we're on the phone and not texting, so I can pick up the conversation for you.

• 22:58Speaker 02

  Thank you so much.

• 22:58Speaker 00

  We're in person.

• 22:59Speaker 02

  We're in person.

• 23:00Speaker 00

  But I do, I think that's a good way to, because there is a way to do something meanly. And then there is a way to just send somebody a warning like, hey, just so you know, I know that person and this is how that goes. And sometimes people are on the exact same page as you.

• 23:13Speaker 02

  Right.

• 23:13Speaker 00

  And you could just know they are.

• 23:14Speaker 02

  Yeah. And you know that they're also not saying anything in like to paint anyone in a bad light.

• 23:21Speaker 00

  So when you do have like a friendship breakup or any like experience that you've had, how do you handle that situation?

• 23:29Speaker 02

  Honestly, I, I feel like sometimes they're worse, if not the, for me, they, I think both times were worse than an actual like relationship breakup. Like, that is the worst thing ever. And.

• 23:43Speaker 00

  Cause it's, you know why? Because it's like, there's a sisterhood.

• 23:47Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 23:47Speaker 00

  And that betrayal is more unexpected than a betrayal from, from a guy.

• 23:52Speaker 02

  Totally. And with friendship breakups, I don't know. I've, I think I just like have to fully like completely remove myself.

• 23:59Speaker 00

  But do you, do you let the person know like this relationship is over? Or do you ghost them?

• 24:04Speaker 02

  I've not ghosted in this, in this particular instance with a friendship breakup. But like I also, it's happened two times. The first time was something I fucked up and I did something bad. And I spoke to her and I was like, I'm really sorry. And I did something really bad. And if you can forgive me, I would totally appreciate it. But I also understand if you won't and I'm sorry. And the other time it happened where it was done to me. And I have, it's like, it's not ghosting, but I'm trying to figure out how to have like the conversation.

• 24:43Speaker 00

  I see. Right.

• 24:44Speaker 02

  You know, cause it's like, it's just as painful.

• 24:47Speaker 00

  Well, I think that's something you learn too. You get better at as you age. I think you get better at like breaks, breakups all, all across the board. Because you, you just realize that's kind of part of life and your expectations not fade as you get older, but your expectations just aren't where they are when you're like idealizing things.

• 25:06Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 25:07Speaker 00

  Like when you meet a guy, when you're in your twenties, it's a different expectation and romanticizing of a relationship than it is if you're, you meet, you meet someone at my age. Like you're like, oh, that'll be a fun fling for a few months. Or like, oh, this guy will be fun. Let's see what he's got, you know? There's like an adventurous spirit, but it's not like I'm tying myself to the end result of it.

• 25:27Speaker 02

  Sure.

• 25:27Speaker 00

  So congratulations first of all, you're, this is season five of Outer Banks.

• 25:31Speaker 02

  We're done.

• 25:32Speaker 00

  The final season. How does that make you feel?

• 25:34Speaker 02

  I'm really, really proud of, of everyone. And I mean, it's crazy that we had a show that went for five seasons because that's impressive.

• 25:41Speaker 00

  Right.

• 25:42Speaker 02

  Um, and I'm also, I'm happy. Like, you know, it's, it's time to close the book. And I think it's bittersweet, but I, and I, but I think everybody knows and everybody is like appreciative of how and when we've decided to cut it off. We've told all the story and they made me pregnant. You know, that's when a show's done.

• 26:04Speaker 00

  I like the idea, they made you pregnant. I like that sentence. They made me pregnant. Like a group of men did it.

• 26:13Speaker 00

  Yeah, that would be problematic.

• 26:14Speaker 02

  It definitely was not my favorite character development.

• 26:19Speaker 00

  Was it? You weren't, you weren't happy about that?

• 26:22Speaker 02

  I know. I was like, it was like, I don't want to wear the belt. Like, I don't want to wear, it was heavy, like silicone in the South Carolina summer heat, where like the heat index gets to like 110.

• 26:35Speaker 00

  Yeah. When I was watching that show, I was just thinking to myself in my sinister, well cynical way, cynical way. I was like, and tell me if this is true, because I've never felt, filmed anything in that climate. But to be on an island seems like a nice idea, but the filming aspect is probably not that nice. Being in the sun all fucking day long.

• 26:57Speaker 02

  Yeah. It is, it, I mean, when we were in Barbados, it was like, it, I don't know. It was both at the same, it was so beautiful. And so, I mean, a lot of our locations are stunning.

• 27:10Speaker 00

  And so windy sometimes.

• 27:12Speaker 02

  We, we have to re-record sound for all of those scenes.

• 27:15Speaker 00

  That's all I was thinking. There was so much wind in some of the scenes that I'm like, how can they even hear each other on a set? Cause usually you have to stop down for wind.

• 27:23Speaker 02

  I know, especially when we're having like a really like intense scene and conversation. And like maybe my, my psychotic brother comes into the scene and then everyone's like yelling at each other. And then like, I don't know, dad's dying and it's just like your hair is in your face. It's like, it feels, it starts to feel very like Scooby Doo-esque.

• 27:45Speaker 02

  It like becomes a little like silly. It's like, okay, like what, what else?

• 27:50Speaker 00

  I like the way that you handled people's responses to your growing over the course of five years or five seasons, like your body, your face, the way you look. And I liked your response to that is like, yeah, because I'm getting older and like things have changed.

• 28:06Speaker 01

  Having experiences in life.

• 28:08Speaker 00

  Yeah. I'm eating different things. I have been through breakups. I've been through all of those things. Like you have changed as a person over the course of five years. Of course you're going to start to look different after five years.

• 28:18Speaker 02

  Totally. Or like you go through breakups or like you find like comfort in food or like, I don't know.

• 28:22Speaker 01

  Right. Like we're always changing.

• 28:23Speaker 02

  Yeah. Or like drinking sometimes or like unhealthy habits, or you're not going to the gym. Or I don't know, you're on your period. Like it's just, but it's always like insane, like people's, to me, people's fascination with, especially women's bodies. And like, I mean, thanks, what, but like, also shut the fuck up.

• 28:44Speaker 01

  Have you, have you like made your peace with that? Like how, like being the subject of sort of this endless online fascination?

• 28:51Speaker 02

  I've made my peace with it. I've also like, I also just accept that, you know, my body, like my body reflects what, whatever's going on with me. And so I understand that sometimes it's going to change. And, and it's also like carried me through everything that I've been through. And I'm like healthy and alive because of it. So I also, you know, like if people can make comments about it, I don't care.

• 29:21Speaker 00

  Yeah. I mean, I, I mean, just in like. Being even like, say, we just take this podcast, like there, I will see comments of like, oh my God, look at all her plastic surgery. And I'm like, first of all, I was hungover that day. You know what I mean? Like, my face can be literally like twice the size that it is. Some days I have cheekbones, some days I don't.

• 29:42Speaker 02

  My face is the first place it shows.

• 29:44Speaker 00

  I mean, it's like, are you, I'm a woman. I look completely different every single day. Like, it's the lighting, it's what you ate.

• 29:52Speaker 01

  It's like, all those little shots.

• 29:54Speaker 00

  For two episodes, I looked orange. And I'm like, why am I so orange? And then we realized that the lights are orange that are coming down. Literally, I was like, is it the curtains that are orange that are refracting off of me? Or I'm refracting off of? But it's so ridiculous that you don't understand that people look like, I mean, when I was on, when I had a talk show, it was every single day, and I could look vastly different day to day. You know what I mean? I don't think people quite understand that all of the stuff is not reflective also of how you look in real life. Like, all of the camera stuff, ad stuff.

• 30:28Speaker 02

  Oh, and also the camera, like, the way it magnifies, like, any and everything it possibly can. And that's how, like, when we were shooting, I mean, seven years of Outer Banks, and been through so much, but like, from season to season, I look so different. And it's reflective of, like, what I was going through. And like, and that's okay. But people would make comments about it. And at first, it bummed me out. But I'm like,

• 30:54Speaker 00

  Yeah, you have to let it go.

• 30:55Speaker 02

  But also, they're making us, like, we were, we would have to wear, like, crazy, like, fake tans. And then they'd, you know, lots of, like, dirt makeup and silicone belly. And also, like, I wasn't allowed to, like, to wear mascara. And there was no, there was not, they didn't want anything to make us look, like, no concealer. They didn't want any, like, pretty makeup.

• 31:20Speaker 00

  Because why?

• 31:21Speaker 02

  They wanted us to look supernatural and sweaty and dirty. And so, like, so automatically, it's like, well, they're not setting us up for success for people to make nice comments about the way we look. Like, we were already at a disadvantage.

• 31:36Speaker 01

  I have always wondered this. When you're out in the sun all day, and you're on set, like, what is the sunblock situation? Are there people slathering you? Like, how is that working?

• 31:45Speaker 02

  I mean, there's spray, obviously, like, the spray sunscreen was king, because, and then we would put, like, I guess we have foundation on, but it was so hot, we would just sweat it off. So just re-spraying. But also, the bug situation was so bad. So when we were layering ourselves with spray, sunscreen, and DEET, and we all smelled so bad.

• 32:11Speaker 00

  I know, that DEET stuff smells so bad.

• 32:13Speaker 02

  Oh, it's insane.

• 32:14Speaker 00

  It's like, I think I would rather be fried by the sun. Well, I don't know, than bugs. I'm trying to think which element is more annoying. Because the bugs are so annoying.

• 32:23Speaker 02

  They're so bad.

• 32:23Speaker 00

  Yeah. But then the sun can kill you. The bugs can't really kill you. I mean, they could if they're carrying malaria.

• 32:30Speaker 02

  I don't know, the bugs in South Carolina are kind of like, they're kind of metal as fuck.

• 32:37Speaker 00

  They're metal as fuck?

• 32:38Speaker 02

  No, metal.

• 32:39Speaker 00

  Metal. Oh, I was like, is that a phrase that I don't know about? Middle. I'm like, middle. So you've dated a lot of people. You've dated a DJ, you've dated an actor, you've dated a musician, have you dated a comedian?

• 32:49Speaker 02

  Sure.

• 32:50Speaker 00

  Yeah. So is there anyone that you would never date again? Any type of career that you would never date again? Or is there a career choice out there of somebody you wouldn't date? Like, would you date a finance guy?

• 33:01Speaker 02

  I don't know.

• 33:02Speaker 00

  I don't think I would.

• 33:03Speaker 02

  I don't, I don't think I could.

• 33:05Speaker 00

  Unless they were bringing, like, huge amounts of cash to the table.

• 33:08Speaker 02

  Okay, actually, maybe, yeah, maybe so. I wouldn't say, like, never again to any of them. But I do think, you know, after a while, I was like, maybe, like, maybe this industry is a little gnarly for dating. Like, maybe I should look elsewhere. So I, you know, maybe that lends itself to a finance guy, but probably not.

• 33:33Speaker 00

  Or just somebody that's not in the business. The reason why we, everyone in the business dates other people in the business is obviously because of proximity. Like, those are the people you meet, and those are the people you're around the most. That's why I feel like it's so important to have a real life, you know, like, outside of work, so that you can meet real people and normal people. But then it's really hard for those normal people to kind of assimilate to the lifestyle, because the lifestyle is not, like, movable or manageable. It's like, if you have shoot dates, like, those are non-negotiable, you don't know how long you're going to work each day. And there's no room for, like,

• 34:03Speaker 02

  That's the thing. It's like, I have also dated people who weren't in the industry in an effort to fix that problem, but that was the problem. Or fix the problem of dating in the industry.

• 34:15Speaker 01

  Right, because then you're on set or whatever.

• 34:16Speaker 02

  Yeah. And then, and then I got annoyed because I felt like I was having to explain everything.

• 34:24Speaker 00

  How work goes?

• 34:26Speaker 02

  I'm like, this is just my job. Like, and also, this is my life.

• 34:31Speaker 00

  Yeah. I had a similar situation where I recorded a podcast. This is a guy I dated a couple of years ago. I recorded a podcast. It was before I had met him, and I was just talking about how great it is to be single. And they held the podcast for a couple of months. And then the podcast came out after he and I had gone public. And he couldn't wrap his head around the fact that I had recorded a podcast. It was old. And he's like, why would you talk about how it's set with guys? And I was like, because that's what I was doing before I met you. And he couldn't wrap his head around the fact that the podcast had been recorded months ago, and they just released it. Like, he thought it was live.

• 35:08Speaker 02

  So that also happened to me one time, where I, like, made comments before, like, you know, we had, you know, become

• 35:17Speaker 00

  Official.

• 35:17Speaker 02

  Official. And then, and the timing of the release of those comments was really bad, like, really gnarly for him. But I, like, I explained, I explained everything. But, you know, it just, it still felt like he was, he was still just not happy. And I'm like, I don't, I'm sorry.

• 35:36Speaker 00

  Are you someone that looks to, like, do you think about yourself in the future? Do you think about being married? Do you think about having children? Is that something you care about?

• 35:44Speaker 02

  I do. I think it's, you know, I think they're all fun things to think about. But the idea of childbirth really terrifies me.

• 35:54Speaker 00

  Really?

• 35:55Speaker 02

  Yeah, because I was only, like, only last year did I learn, like, really gnarly details about childbirth.

• 36:03Speaker 00

  Yeah, childbirth seems like something that, that the less you know about it going in, the better.

• 36:09Speaker 02

  Well, there's a girl on TikTok who has a list. So when women go onto TikTok and tell their, their birthing stories, and she gets really specific, it cuts to this girl writing down a list, and there's like, 300 reasons she has so far of why not, she does not want to have a baby. So I like to think about all these things. But like we were saying earlier, I mean, I'm just like, marriage, sure, but just give me the ring.

• 36:33Speaker 00

  Yeah, you said that now twice, that you want the ring. So hopefully.

• 36:36Speaker 02

  Because it's sparkly.

• 36:37Speaker 00

  Yeah, I get it. I get it. I understand people want rings and jewelry. Girls like jewelry.

• 36:42Speaker 02

  I love jewelry.

• 36:45Speaker 00

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• 37:29Speaker 00

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• 38:00Speaker 00

  Do you still, I heard something when I was doing my research on you, that you felt like you had imposter syndrome in this business, which I hear all the time from everyone, which I've also felt. Do you feel that way still?

• 38:13Speaker 02

  I do. I feel like I'm getting a lot more comfortable in my skin. But I do still feel like I just went and shot a movie with Judd Apatow.

• 38:24Speaker 00

  Oh, yeah?

• 38:25Speaker 02

  And it was, it was the best time I have truly ever had shooting. And

• 38:31Speaker 00

  That's nice.

• 38:32Speaker 02

  It was really fun, but it's the first time I've legitimately done comedy. And I've always wanted to, but I was just, once it was, once we were in prep and once, you know, we were getting scripts, I was like, oh my God, I don't know. I don't, I don't know. Maybe I'm not funny. Like, just like, I don't, I don't think I'm, I maybe, are they sure they've got the right girl? And then, you know, also I was playing a singer. And then, so that, with that also came a lot of movement and vocal training, which was very cool. But I was so afraid that on the day I was gonna walk on and just like be a fraud.

• 39:14Speaker 00

  Right.

• 39:15Speaker 02

  So, yes, I still get it badly. But then, but then like, once, once we started getting into our flow state, then it went away.

• 39:22Speaker 00

  Yeah. Yeah. I mean, the singing part is scary too, to have to sing. Cause are you a natural singer?

• 39:27Speaker 02

  No, Eric Vetro had, did some like miracle work on me.

• 39:33Speaker 00

  Yeah. I think you can get almost anybody to be able to like, at least hold a tune.

• 39:38Speaker 02

  And carry a tune.

• 39:38Speaker 00

  Which is what, yeah, carry a tune. See, I can't even refer, I don't even have the lingo down.

• 39:43Speaker 02

  I think I, I feel like I've said that too. Hold a tune. Are we both wrong?

• 39:48Speaker 00

  I think so. I think it's carry a tune, but I mean, it's the same idea. It doesn't really matter. It's semantics.

• 39:53Speaker 01

  Is there anything that you're like, you know, talking about trying comedy for the first time? Is there anything that you are, you wanna do in the future, but you are scared to do?

• 40:03Speaker 02

  Um, I think, I think comedy I was really scared of because it's hard. It's not like, you can't just make something funny. Like you, it either is or it isn't. And it's also, I think in like a comedy movie, like all four wheels have to be hitting the ground. It, they're, everyone has to be like, kind of throwing their fastball. And so that was really scary, but I would love to do more. We had the best time. I would love to do action. We do a lot of action in Outer Banks. I think that's fun.

• 40:36Speaker 00

  What do you like about that?

• 40:38Speaker 02

  Um, cause it kinda makes me feel a little badass.

• 40:42Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 40:43Speaker 02

  You know what I mean? And so I think it'd be really fun to do more. And I think comedy is also really closely related to horror and like camp. I think or camp horror, which I think is really sick.

• 40:55Speaker 00

  Yeah. What did you grow up watching?

• 40:57Speaker 02

  I grew, so actually I wasn't allowed to watch horror growing up, but the very first horror movie I did see, which is actually a comedy, were the scary movies.

• 41:07Speaker 00

  Okay, yeah. Those are hard to miss.

• 41:09Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 41:10Speaker 00

  There's another one that just came out.

• 41:12Speaker 02

  Yes. And then, and then I think like, oh, and then the first real horror movie I watched, I think was Insidious 2?

• 41:23Speaker 00

  I don't know if I saw that.

• 41:24Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah. Those are good ones.

• 41:26Speaker 00

  I'm not into horror as much.

• 41:27Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 41:28Speaker 01

  Have you done any horror?

• 41:30Speaker 02

  I did. I know what you did last summer. That was like Slasher.

• 41:33Speaker 00

  What's the difference between Slasher and horror?

• 41:35Speaker 02

  Like Slasher, Slasher horror is like, like there's a, there's a deranged serial killer on the loose who's gonna getcha and it's probably like your ex-boyfriend's uncle for some reason. And he was like

• 41:50Speaker 00

  So it's very heightened even more than horror, like Slasher, like, right?

• 41:54Speaker 01

  Like horror is gonna like really scare you, whereas like Slasher is like a romp with scary themes.

• 41:59Speaker 02

  Yes. And that's, that's what we did, which was really fun. I enjoyed that very much. My favorite thing too is like when you're, when we were making a horror movie and like something in the take would go wrong or the timing would go off, it would immediately turn it into Scooby Doo. And like really funny, like where, you know, you're running, they're running down the hallways and they miss each other. And it's, it was really funny because I was like, oh wait, this could so easily become hilarious. It just, which I guess is why they like do in a scary movie, but.

• 42:30Speaker 00

  What about lying? Are you good at lying?

• 42:32Speaker 02

  I'm a terrible liar.

• 42:33Speaker 00

  You are?

• 42:34Speaker 02

  I'm a terrible liar.

• 42:35Speaker 00

  As an actor, you're a bad liar?

• 42:37Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 42:39Speaker 00

  Isn't acting just lying?

• 42:40Speaker 02

  But the thing is like, when I'm, when I'm lying, I don't believe myself. And when I'm acting, I'm like, I have to, I have to believe what's coming out of my mouth or I just will start over.

• 42:48Speaker 00

  How did you discover that you were bad at lying?

• 42:53Speaker 02

  I think it was pretty early on. I specifically remember my mom one time asking me if I had done my, my reading for the day, like my 20 minute reading for school. And she was like, when did you finish? And I was like, this, I was also really young too. I wasn't this stupid. But I said, at 3:72.

• 43:18Speaker 00

  That is stupid. That's funny. I'm like, I feel like I was a good liar, but I'm sure I probably wasn't. I don't like to lie just because my lies would turn into these volcanic eruptions. Like I wouldn't just tell a lie. I would like double mouth the lie. And then there were like, three other people involved and like the things that people could easily check. And then just like basically implicate other people. Like I, I would basically implicate people that weren't involved in it at all. So you're basically dragging everyone down with you. And my friends would be like, why didn't you just say like, you're not in the mood? You know, like, why do you involve everyone else? Why are you involving so many people in your lies? Like, why are they so multi like leveled?

• 44:03Speaker 02

  I can't go to dinner because my best friend's dog died and then

• 44:08Speaker 00

  I was once trying to get rid of a guy. We were in Barcelona and I was on a date and I was trying, I mean, this guy flew to Barcelona to meet me, right? I had a bunch of friends there. We were there. And then as soon as I saw him, I was like, oh, no, no, let's, this is not gonna happen. And then I made up a friend, I made up a fake character. I made up a wedding. I made up, I, it was right after that Vicky Christina Barcelona movie came out. So I kept calling her Vicky Christina, my cousin. And I was like, she's getting married in Barcelona and we actually have to go buy her some wedding shoes right now.

• 44:40Speaker 02

  Some wedding shoes is crazy.

• 44:42Speaker 00

  And my friend was watching me and was like, you are, and we ended up running into them at the hotel when we were supposed to be at the wedding. This guy came out and flew out with his friend. We thought when we said it was a wrap and I was going to the wedding, that he would go back to London where he came from. But he came back and stayed there and we got caught red-handed. And as I saw him, I just, I was like, don't, no matter what. And they're like, Chelsea, shut up. Like you are caught red-handed. Cause I was gonna say, no matter what, we are still going to the wedding. Just keep the

• 45:13Speaker 01

  The wedding was delayed by a day. Can you believe it?

• 45:16Speaker 00

  Stick with the story. Yeah. So I can't, so I don't lie just because, I mean, I, I do sometimes, but I do, I, when I, when I think about lying, I'm just like, just, it's just so much easier to tell the truth.

• 45:29Speaker 02

  Totally.

• 45:29Speaker 00

  Don't implicate other people and just say the truth.

• 45:33Speaker 02

  I know. But that's the thing is like, I also do the, I just tell the truth. I am such a confessionalist that sometimes I give people too much information and then it actually does throw people under the bus.

• 45:43Speaker 00

  Yeah, I'm with you. That's what I do. I've made a career out of doing that. Or, or stunted my career from doing that. CBD, CBD.

• 45:53Speaker 01

  I actually have a listener question that's all about how to lose a guy. So maybe we just transition.

• 45:58Speaker 00

  Oh, okay, great.

• 45:59Speaker 01

  Are you ready for some advice questions?

• 46:00Speaker 00

  Yeah, let's do it.

• 46:01Speaker 01

  Okay. Well, this one's just an email, but Meg says, Dear Chelsea, I'm a 32-year-old female. I recently escaped a five-year relationship and I find myself getting into pickles with men I'm not interested in.

• 46:13Speaker 00

  Pickles is an interesting

• 46:14Speaker 01

  Pickles is interesting. Specifically men I'm acquaintances with and see on a regular basis, work, neighbors. When they ask to spend time with me, I regrettably agree on the spot because I'm not sure how to reject them politely. I then struggle to either reject them later or I avoid them like the plague. I know I don't owe them anything, but the fact that they're people that I will continue to see on a regular basis and the desire not to make anyone feel bad makes it hard to say no. I need a blueprint on how to handle these situations on the spot because they usually happen when I'm not expecting it and when I've got my friendly coworker or neighbor mask on. Thanks, Meg.

• 46:48Speaker 00

  So these are people that she's gonna see again?

• 46:50Speaker 01

  Uh huh. And they're like, wanna hang out, like a coworker, it's a neighbor, it's a somebody you see regularly.

• 46:56Speaker 00

  Oh, cause I have a good answer for people you'll never see again.

• 47:00Speaker 01

  Chelsea's going to a wedding in Barcelona.

• 47:02Speaker 00

  Or that you're having a terrible herpes outbreak. You know, that usually ends the conversation right away.

• 47:06Speaker 02

  Oh, that's a good one.

• 47:07Speaker 00

  But I think, what's a good way to shut someone down if you're not interested? In a nice way, because I do think it's important to not leave people hanging and holding on for hope. So, I mean, and you, if you're saying you have a, you can't lie and say you already have a boyfriend or a girlfriend if they're gonna, if you're gonna, if these are recurring characters. But you can say, I just actually started seeing someone and then that can fall apart.

• 47:28Speaker 01

  There you go. It's new.

• 47:29Speaker 00

  Yeah, it's new. And then that way, it doesn't have to come to fruition, right?

• 47:33Speaker 01

  That's really good.

• 47:34Speaker 00

  I mean, I think that's a decent way. Another thing you can do is just say, I'm so sorry, but I'm totally not even looking at you in that way or feeling anything in that way. So I don't even wanna, I mean, I know that's a little, it sounds hard to say, but there's a succinct way to say that. To say like, I really wanna keep it professional, especially if you work with them. You can always use that as an excuse to be like, I really don't wanna mix work with pleasure. I've had a bad experience in the past.

• 48:00Speaker 01

  Totally, totally.

• 48:01Speaker 00

  Or you could say, I, yeah, you could say that. And then the only problem with that is if you start dating a different coworker. But at that point, who gives a shit? But I'm a fan of telling people, letting people down nightly, like me. And just saying, because so many people ghost so many people.

• 48:21Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 48:21Speaker 00

  And I think that's kind of really fucked up. It fucks with people's psyches, right? Like you have to just be really direct and say, I'm not feeling it.

• 48:28Speaker 01

  I'm not seeing it. I don't wanna see anybody right now.

• 48:30Speaker 00

  Or I'm in something slightly and I wanna see where this goes. You know, like that's a nicer, softer landing.

• 48:35Speaker 01

  I like that.

• 48:36Speaker 00

  What do you tell somebody when you're not interested?

• 48:39Speaker 02

  See, here's the problem. Like sometimes I let it go too far.

• 48:43Speaker 00

  I did. I used to do that too. I think every woman does that.

• 48:45Speaker 02

  Because I don't want, I hate letting, like I hate hurting people's feelings. And then I'm like, what was I thinking? But whatever. And so then I usually Call and I'm like, and I just tell them, I just, but sometimes

• 49:02Speaker 00

  Say what? What do you say?

• 49:03Speaker 02

  Sometimes they ask like, why?

• 49:05Speaker 00

  Right.

• 49:05Speaker 02

  And then I'm a confessionalist and I'll tell them, but then that ends up hurting their feelings.

• 49:12Speaker 00

  Like, what, what, what have you said to someone that whose, that, whose feelings have been hurt in that, in that kind of situation?

• 49:18Speaker 02

  You ate all my food and you didn't pay for anything.

• 49:22Speaker 00

  You're like, I want my ring, okay? I'm out here looking for a ring, everybody.

• 49:26Speaker 02

  I'm like, I just don't think it's gonna work out. Yeah. And I think we should not speak anymore.

• 49:34Speaker 00

  I love that men don't think that they have to pay for things. Like, what's that about? I think they're confusing, they're confusing like chivalry with misogyny almost, like, or you know what I mean?

• 49:44Speaker 01

  Like, they don't have to make an effort.

• 49:45Speaker 00

  Like, everyone's getting everything confused. It's like, well, why do we have to pay for things? You guys want to be treated equally. It's like, that's not the reason. That's not, that doesn't have anything to do with that.

• 49:54Speaker 02

  You didn't say anything. I'm like, I'm, I'm, use your brain.

• 49:58Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 49:59Speaker 02

  Just like.

• 49:59Speaker 00

  And also, it's like a polite thing to do. If I were to take a woman out to dinner, or ask a woman to dinner, I'd pay. I would pay. Like, just if it's a friend situation, it's like, whoever asks, you pay. And dating historically and traditionally is just like a nice way for a man to be like, I'm gonna take you out for, on a date.

• 50:17Speaker 01

  Show them a nice time.

• 50:18Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, totally.

• 50:19Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 50:20Speaker 02

  It's nice. But, yeah, sorry, Meg.

• 50:23Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 50:26Speaker 00

  You've considered advancing your education or pursuing a new career. Rasmussen University has a seat saved for you, and with over 50 online programs, you can take a seat in your kitchen, your kid's soccer practice, your commute home, or wherever your busy schedule takes you. Plus, with a team dedicated to supporting you every step of the way, you may be online, but you will never be alone. Find the program that fits your goals at rasmussen.edu. We have spent way too long not talking about women's bodies. Half the population has periods, hormones, menopause, vaginas, and somehow we're still supposed to be uncomfortable talking about any of it. Well, Vella isn't. Vella makes science-backed products designed specifically for women,

• 51:11Speaker 00

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• 51:41Speaker 00

  We have live callers. Are you ready for this?

• 51:43Speaker 02

  I'm so excited.

• 51:44Speaker 00

  I hope you've been to therapy, so you can give some, because that's what we do here.

• 51:47Speaker 02

  Oh, my God.

• 51:48Speaker 01

  All right. Lanay has a very tricky question. So she says, Dear Chelsea, please help me know what to say, so I don't feel like a ball-busting asshole to my husband. I'm married to a wonderful, thoughtful, and caring man who only wants me to feel fulfilled and happy. I know some men would think I'm impossible to live with, but this man has never said a negative word about my hatred for football and video games. I know that he, I know that he participates much less in both of these interests because of a clear boundary I set when we were dating. Lately, even our choice of what we watch on television together isn't vibing. I'm interested in documentaries, and my husband finds these to be mostly depressing. He prefers something lighthearted, but I cannot watch another rerun of Friends or The Office.

• 52:31Speaker 01

  My husband thinks he's found the solution for us, but I don't have the heart to tell him that this solution is triggering to me. He thinks I love watching food eating challenges with him on YouTube. Beard Meets Food seems to be his favorite. He'll wait for me so we can watch new episodes together, and he travels a lot for work. He sees it as our new show and gets excited to watch it together. The thing is, I have struggled with bulimia since I was 12. He knows this, but we haven't discussed it in years. I'm now 40, and it's been getting harder and harder not to binge and purge when my husband isn't around. This show triggers me.

• 53:03Speaker 00

  Oh, my God.

• 53:04Speaker 01

  When I'm watching, I'll be dreaming of the moment I get to be alone again to binge and purge, and I hate that feeling. I feel like if I tell my husband, it will be yet another thing that I hate and he enjoys. How do I have this conversation without him feeling like I'm micromanaging his interests? Am I just doomed to sit through sitcom reruns for hopefully the next 40 years with the love of my life? Lanay.

• 53:24Speaker 00

  Hi, Lanay.

• 53:25Speaker 01

  Hey, sweetie.

• 53:26Speaker 02

  Hi.

• 53:27Speaker 03

  Hi.

• 53:27Speaker 00

  Hi, this is our special guest, Madeline Klein.

• 53:30Speaker 02

  Hi, nice to meet you.

• 53:32Speaker 03

  Hello.

• 53:33Speaker 02

  Maybe you guys can watch Outer Banks.

• 53:36Speaker 00

  Yeah, have you guys tried watching Outer Banks together?

• 53:39Speaker 03

  We haven't. We haven't tried that show.

• 53:41Speaker 01

  It's a fun romp.

• 53:44Speaker 00

  I think, I think that you have to be really honest with your husband, because now you're in a precarious situation with a history of an eating disorder that has, that is triggering. Like, that is completely valid information. And listen, here's the thing. You guys don't have to watch TV together. You just don't. Like, it's not, it's not like a fundamental necess, like necessity. It's great if you can find something or a series that you guys are gonna like together, but it's not absolutely necessary. You can do other things together. Why don't you go for a walk? Like, I know that sounds like blah, but actually, lots of people do that, and it's a way to connect without any distraction.

• 54:26Speaker 00

  Because I don't really feel like necessarily watching TV with people is the biggest connection.

• 54:31Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah.

• 54:32Speaker 00

  It's kind of like a lazy connection.

• 54:34Speaker 03

  That's true. We've been talking a lot. We, we own a lot of, I have quite a book collection. We've talked about needing to read more together.

• 54:40Speaker 02

  Yeah, book club.

• 54:41Speaker 03

  When we've tried, it's just the dead silence in the house. And so we're talking about more music in the background while we read. We just haven't quite found the groove of that yet.

• 54:49Speaker 00

  But you know what? Okay, with reading, I can help you with this. With reading, you have to set the tone. You have to get into the groove, and you have to force yourself. You could put on some jazz, put on some classical, so it's not distracting. Obviously, you know, you're not gonna be listening to hip hop and reading. So like, just put on some background music and literally sit there with your partner. You don't even have to read the same book.

• 55:11Speaker 01

  No, yeah.

• 55:11Speaker 00

  You can just both read 50 pages of a book and sit down and discuss it after. Or you can read 50 pages, I mean, you can read 50 pages of the same book, or you can read, and you can start small. Start with 25 pages. Anyone can read 25 pages of a book. And just set a new pattern, like, of something that you guys can do together. And, you know, if you're, if you're not really agreeing on shows to watch, I don't know that you're gonna be having the same interest in books necessarily. So I think you can be open to like, reading two different things and then just talking about it, like, telling each other the story about it. It's just more of a connectivity. I, I find watching TV with a partner to be pretty lazy, quite frankly.

• 55:52Speaker 00

  I mean, no judgment, but you know, when I do it, I'm always like, what are we doing this for? Shouldn't we be like, fucking or doing something more?

• 55:59Speaker 03

  I definitely agree.

• 56:00Speaker 00

  You know, and maybe there's some other things you guys can start doing together, like going out at night and going to the movies, or going bowling, or stupid shit. You know what I mean?

• 56:10Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 56:10Speaker 03

  Yeah. He, he travels so much for work. I feel like it's when he looks forward to like, actually being at home and decompressing and, and enjoying that. And my biggest hesitation, because I can tell him anything, I just, he's a huge overcorrector. So I feel anytime I'll, I'll give him feedback, you know, help cooking more dinners, the next thing is a homemade-from-scratch lasagna taco night or something. So I don't ever want him to feel like a huge overcorrection is needed, but just.

• 56:40Speaker 02

  You should tell him that, honestly, because like, that, right, like, that is so sweet. And that the fact that he's, that he's actually like, he's listening to you and he's hearing what you're saying. And just tell him, like, I don't want you to overcorrect, but this habit or this, this activity is maybe not a group activity for, for me to be included in. And like, don't make him feel like his interest is like invalid or lame. But I think if he will, if he does overcorrect, then maybe there's the potential that he can just correct, course correct to a different activity together.

• 57:18Speaker 00

  Yeah, play games. Like, play Rummy Cube.

• 57:20Speaker 01

  There's always puzzles.

• 57:22Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 57:23Speaker 00

  Puzzles are just boring, though.

• 57:28Speaker 00

  A game, at least, there's like, conversation going a little bit, more than a puzzle. And I just think, like, I understand if he's tired, and I feel that way when I come back from the road. Like, I'm tired, I just wanna like, get in bed and not think. I get it. I totally get it. So give a couple of options and be malleable, which I'm sure you already are. But the, the most important thing is, you don't have to care for his feelings to the degree that you're talking about when you're talking about an eating disorder. You're the number one priority in that situation, and he would say the same thing.

• 57:58Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 57:59Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 57:59Speaker 00

  So like, don't apologize for his overcorrection. If he's gonna overcorrect, you can tell him, like Madeline said, like, you can tell him, you don't have to overcorrect, but also, like, you need to be very honest about your truth. You are the number one priority in this situation.

• 58:15Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 58:16Speaker 01

  And a great thing to tell him is like, you can go ahead and watch the show. This is your show to watch in the hotel when you're traveling for work. Like, this is a new show. I just, I just can't watch it.

• 58:24Speaker 02

  Right.

• 58:25Speaker 01

  To get a little more book nerdy about setting the stage for when you're reading together.

• 58:29Speaker 00

  Yeah, for sure.

• 58:29Speaker 01

  I like putting on music, but this is like, very nerdy. You can go on YouTube and find backgrounds that you put on the TV.

• 58:37Speaker 00

  I put those on, too.

• 58:38Speaker 01

  It's kind of fun. Like, if I'm reading a spooky book, I'll put on a background that's like, stormy night, and you're in a cabin, and it's kind of fun.

• 58:47Speaker 00

  Well, you were right to warn me about that advice. Thank you.

• 58:52Speaker 00

  First of all, if I could figure out how to fucking do that, my life would be a lot different. If I could set the settings on my TV screen. I mean, I go to people's houses, I'm like, how did you do that? But also, yeah, find some stuff to do that's like, you know, there's so much you can do. Like, learn how to play cribbage together. Learn how to play gin, or play gin together. Play a card game. There's other ways to connect and relax that don't require like, leaving the house, you know? If he really wants to chill out.

• 59:17Speaker 03

  I had a small conversation about wanting to, to have more deep conversations with each other a few months ago. And he literally went out and bought this card game that's for connecting. And, and then I'm the one who kind of stopped. The questions got real, and I kind of shut down a little. So I know we should pick that game back up again. He took the effort to hear me and, and move forward with, with us to connect through that. I just, you know, one of the first questions, how have I ever let you down? And it just was so. So deep, so quick.

• 59:55Speaker 02

  Yeah. I bet there's other card games that I feel like there definitely are that are like more conversation starters than like relationship bummer.

• 1:00:03Speaker 01

  You know what, I'll send you a link. I can't remember what they're called, but there are these like packs of like conversation starters that you can like use together and they're fun when you have guests over.

• 1:00:13Speaker 02

  Yeah, super fun.

• 1:00:14Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:00:15Speaker 03

  Thank you so much.

• 1:00:16Speaker 00

  Yeah, but definitely like, you know, that is, you're a number one, like focus on telling the truth. He would want to know.

• 1:00:24Speaker 02

  Yes, it's not an excuse, that's a reason and it's valid.

• 1:00:27Speaker 00

  There you go. That's another tagline for your other brand that we're going to come up with. We have three brand taglines.

• 1:00:33Speaker 01

  Will you check back in with us? Have you guys have the conversation?

• 1:00:35Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 1:00:36Speaker 03

  Absolutely, absolutely. I'll follow up. Thank you so much.

• 1:00:39Speaker 01

  All right. Thanks, Lanay.

• 1:00:41Speaker 02

  Bye Lanay.

• 1:00:42Speaker 00

  I bet lots of couples have problems connecting like after a while because it's like, what do you talk about after you've been with somebody for 15 years?

• 1:00:48Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:00:49Speaker 00

  You're of the generation where everyone was named Madeline because I had a Cabbage Patch kid named Madeline. Cabbage Patch kids were a prelude to a generation of names because everyone named, everyone who was my age who named like Gretchen, Gracie, Taylor. And then, then everyone grew up that was my age and had babies and then named them those babies. Yeah. But I like the name Madeline a lot. It's a good name. What's your middle name?

• 1:01:14Speaker 02

  Renee.

• 1:01:15Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 1:01:16Speaker 02

  Yeah, I liked Madeline. I think, I think the story, like my parents found out that they were going to have me when they were visiting, they were in Paris and they thought that the book, the Madeline book was really cute and like the little cookies. So they, they just changed the name.

• 1:01:33Speaker 00

  Do you have siblings?

• 1:01:34Speaker 02

  I'm an only child.

• 1:01:35Speaker 00

  Oh, really?

• 1:01:36Speaker 02

  Yeah. They had a hard time having or getting pregnant with me. So, and then I was apparently a very happy, quiet baby. So they were like, maybe we should just quit while we're ahead.

• 1:01:48Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:01:49Speaker 02

  But they took me to the doctor when I was little because I would not speak.

• 1:01:52Speaker 00

  How long did it take you to speak?

• 1:01:54Speaker 02

  Hmm, I was pretty quiet up until like, maybe when I was 10, I just started yapping away.

• 1:02:00Speaker 00

  What do you mean 10?

• 1:02:01Speaker 02

  Yeah, I just didn't really speak. Like my mom would be like, how was your day? And be like.

• 1:02:07Speaker 00

  At six and five, like when you went to school?

• 1:02:09Speaker 02

  I could speak. I just chose not to. I just didn't want to.

• 1:02:12Speaker 01

  Interesting.

• 1:02:13Speaker 00

  Oh, that must have been concerning for them.

• 1:02:15Speaker 02

  That's, yeah, that's, they were like, she's just fine. She just, she doesn't see a reason to.

• 1:02:20Speaker 00

  That's an interesting attitude for a little kid.

• 1:02:23Speaker 02

  Yeah. It's so funny.

• 1:02:25Speaker 00

  Abstain. Yeah, I'm the youngest of six kids, so it would never have occurred to me not to speak because that was the only way to get shit done.

• 1:02:32Speaker 02

  Or to get like, I'm sure to be like, heard.

• 1:02:34Speaker 00

  Yeah, I'm like, fuck all these other people. Hello, you know, I need some attention. But if you are an only child, why, why would you talk? You're like, I've got everything I need.

• 1:02:43Speaker 01

  I've got everyone's attention already.

• 1:02:44Speaker 00

  It's right here.

• 1:02:45Speaker 02

  We did lots of puzzles without speaking.

• 1:02:47Speaker 00

  Did you?

• 1:02:48Speaker 01

  See, my family, we just yap while we're doing puzzles.

• 1:02:51Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:02:53Speaker 00

  You've considered advancing your education or pursuing a new career. Rasmussen University has a seat saved for you. And with over 50 online programs, you can take a seat in your kitchen, your kid's soccer practice, your commute home, or wherever your busy schedule takes you. Plus, with a team dedicated to supporting you every step of the way, you may be online, but you will never be alone. Find the program that fits your goals at rasmussen.edu. Women are expected to manage everything, work, family, hormones, cramps, and somehow we're still supposed to be in the mood because apparently having a uterus wasn't enough. That's where Vela comes in. The Vela Comfort Plus Pleasure Duo is designed

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• 1:04:03Speaker 01

  Okay, I really want to get to this caller because this is a really interesting question. So Hallie is 27 and her subject line is the 27 year old with 15 year old daughters. Dear Chelsea, when I was 24 years old, I accidentally became a mom to two 12 year old girls. And when I say 24, I mean barely 24. They celebrated their 12th birthday and I celebrated my 24th together. I know accidentally adopted two preteens. It sounds like a story that would involve a cult, drugs, possibly a head injury, but I worked with foster kids and what started as helping out somehow turned into motherhood. And before anyone tells me this is normal, I know people start families young all the time. I genuinely just never

• 1:04:45Speaker 01

  thought it would happen to me. Now I'm 27 and they're 15. I envisioned my twenties dating, traveling, partying, and making regrettable decisions. Instead, I spent mine explaining to two teenage girls why they shouldn't make regrettable decisions. Although, to be fair, I do try to lead by example. To be clear, I love these girls more than anything, but I do occasionally feel like I skipped directly from age 24 to exhausted mother who's fighting for her life every day. And the time flies when you're fighting for your life. My biggest fear, becoming a grandmother. Chelsea, I cannot stress this enough. I am not built for grandmotherhood. I still get carded. I have brought them to school hungover. Some days I feel like I'm moving backwards on the responsibility scale. I can't cook and have no understanding of finances. There's absolutely nothing about me that says mom,

• 1:05:29Speaker 01

  much less grandma. So now I spend most of my time trying to raise two independent, responsible, successful young women while simultaneously begging them not to do anything that could result in me raising another child. Here's my question. Am I delusional for looking at the calendar and thinking, okay, when these girls graduate, I can finally have my twenties? Or is that selfish? Is there such a thing as a delayed young adult phase? Can I be grateful for my life and still feel like I missed a chapter? Or am I just a mom now? Honestly, I'm receptive to any advice, criticism, reality checks, or tough love. I'm just desperate for at least one person not to answer with, well, what did you think was going to happen? Because clearly I was not thinking. Sincerely, Hallie.

• 1:06:08Speaker 00

  Hi, Hallie.

• 1:06:09Speaker 02

  Hi, Hallie.

• 1:06:10Speaker 00

  Hi, this is our special guest. Madeline Klein is here today.

• 1:06:13Speaker 02

  Hello.

• 1:06:14Speaker 04

  Hi.

• 1:06:16Speaker 00

  First of all, way to go. That is awesome and generous and loving and such a thing that a woman would do is adopt two 12 year olds. So that's awesome that you did that and you're giving them a stable home and you're giving them love and you're giving them an education on life. So all of these things are beautiful. Are you delusional to think that you can have your own life once they, hopefully, are they going to go to college, these girls?

• 1:06:41Speaker 04

  That's the hope. They want to.

• 1:06:43Speaker 00

  Yeah. Okay, great. That's all they need is to want to do it and then that will most likely happen. No, you're not delusional. Yes, you're going to have your life. This is fucking awesome that you already have two 16, 15 or they're 15 now, right? Three years. Okay, you have two more years of this until they go to college. Two more years. Dive into them big time. Make sure they know that you are not going to be a grandmother. Make sure that they are educated about birth control. Get them injected with whatever Nuva Ring they need to have. I don't know why I touched my elbow or the inside. I was thinking of my V because that's how you get a Nuva Ring in my mind.

• 1:07:23Speaker 02

  You know what I'm saying?

• 1:07:26Speaker 00

  But just make sure that they are, you know, they've got it. They don't want to have a baby. Do they want to have a baby?

• 1:07:32Speaker 04

  No, but I just worry.

• 1:07:35Speaker 02

  Of course.

• 1:07:36Speaker 00

  Where, okay, but don't, don't worry about things that haven't happened. Do you know what I mean? That's just like, you're almost, almost like manifesting it by worrying about it so much that you should probably flip it and reverse it and be like, they would never do such a thing to me. You're not even their biological mother. Like, how could you be expected to raise another, you know, generation of children? Like, that's just like, that's not a default setting in my like viewpoint. You would be there to help, but you're not going to be there to, you know, step in and raise a baby. So obviously, have you made that clear to them?

• 1:08:10Speaker 04

  I did. I just, I worry because they crave like negative attention a lot of the times. And so I try to give them space to kind of be who they are, figure out who they are, but also while setting boundaries and it's just a little difficult.

• 1:08:24Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:08:25Speaker 00

  Yeah. And do you have someone who helps you? Like, do you have like a parenting coach? Or do you like, what do you, how do you know how to do this? You're just figuring it out as you go?

• 1:08:34Speaker 04

  Google.

• 1:08:35Speaker 00

  Yeah, great. Well, that's what most parents are doing anyway. So don't worry about that. But the broader question is, you're going to have your own life. The fact that you have two kids that are going to college when you're going to be like 29 years old, that's when your life is going to begin again.

• 1:08:49Speaker 02

  We were just talking about at the beginning of this podcast was how excited I am for my 30s because I feel like they're going to be even more awesome than my twenties. So I feel like.

• 1:09:01Speaker 00

  They are, and they are awesome. I'm here to tell you, it gets better. As you age as a woman, it just keeps getting better and better and better. You're more, like, look what you've already accomplished. Most people are going to be like 10 years from where you are, raising 17 year old children or 15 year old children. Do you know what I mean? Like, you have an advantage because you were so young. So stop looking at it as a disadvantage and look at it as an advantage. You gave these girls a safe place to grow up. So like, that is invaluable. Like beautiful, beautiful, beautiful. And

• 1:09:32Speaker 04

  Thank you.

• 1:09:33Speaker 00

  Yeah. And so like, you have like the whole world ahead of you. And of course, you're missing out on this time in your twenties. But honestly, this isn't the best time of your life anyway. Like your 30s are going to be even better than your twenties. So then you can be free and then you can go out and spread your wings and fly.

• 1:09:49Speaker 02

  When you're smarter and cooler than ever.

• 1:09:51Speaker 01

  Yes, absolutely.

• 1:09:53Speaker 04

  I hope so.

• 1:09:53Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:09:54Speaker 00

  Yeah, but don't hope so, know so. That's what's going to happen. Where do you live?

• 1:09:58Speaker 04

  I live in Louisiana.

• 1:10:00Speaker 00

  Okay, I was going to say that accent I couldn't quite place and that's usually Louisiana.

• 1:10:05Speaker 00

  When you can't place it. Are you in New Orleans or another part?

• 1:10:09Speaker 04

  Close by New Orleans.

• 1:10:10Speaker 00

  Okay. So how did these girls come into your life?

• 1:10:14Speaker 04

  I work with kids in the foster care system and I worked closely with them. They went home with their dad and I just kind of kept in touch just in case. And one day he. Dropped him off and said, pretty much, he, he can't do it anymore. And I, I tried to work with them the best that I could, but then it was like, I had to make a decision to step up, or I would have had to be the bad guy and put them back where they did not want to go. And so, I mean, it was an easy yes for me at the time. I just, I didn't think future. Like, I wasn't thinking what my life would look like, you know, five years from that moment, or whatever.

• 1:10:55Speaker 01

  And how good for those girls that you weren't thinking, you know?

• 1:10:58Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah, you did. That's a beautiful thing that you've done. And these girls aren't gonna, they're, they, they're gonna get it. They're not gonna go out and get pregnant. And if they do get pregnant, then hopefully they'll get an abortion and they won't have a baby before they're ready to have a child. You know what I mean? Like, people do make mistakes and that, and then, and you can, you know, I don't know if Louisiana's a state where you can, but whatever. Don't, like, think about that aspect of things. Just make sure they're educated, which I know you already are doing, about getting pregnant and about protecting themselves. And I understand that young girls get off on negative attention. I know that. And that can be a bad habit, but it's also kind of part of growing up.

• 1:11:37Speaker 02

  And the fact that you're also, like, allowing them space while also setting boundaries with them and, like, allowing them to be individuals with their own thoughts and feelings and you're not, like, you're not helicoptering them, you're allowing them to grow up and still teach them or, and tell them to, like, learn from me is, that is so amazing. Like, the, the lessons and the freedoms that you're giving them is truly, like, especially, I, I know it's so difficult when, when they're teenagers. I remember, like, how annoying I was, but, like, I was always so grateful when my parents gave me a little bit of freedom, so I-

• 1:12:21Speaker 00

  And trust.

• 1:12:21Speaker 02

  And trust, yes.

• 1:12:22Speaker 00

  I think the way to build trust is to-

• 1:12:24Speaker 02

  And to give it.

• 1:12:25Speaker 00

  -give people a little latitude and see what they come back with. Like, sometimes when you trust people who haven't been entrusted before, they, they really value that. You know what I mean? So it's like giving them a little latitude and seeing how they respond in that situation. And I'm sure these girls are, like, endlessly grateful to you.

• 1:12:45Speaker 04

  They are. It's, I just want to make sure that I'm doing the best possible thing. And I know that no parent is perfect, like, for sure, but that's why I'm always willing to learn and to hear from other people.

• 1:12:57Speaker 00

  Yeah, you're do, you are. You're doing a great job. You are.

• 1:13:01Speaker 04

  Thank you.

• 1:13:02Speaker 00

  And calling and asking questions and, and being open to that is also great. I have no doubt that you're the best influence that these girls have ever had.

• 1:13:10Speaker 04

  Thank you.

• 1:13:10Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah. So just hold tight

• 1:13:15Speaker 00

  and then get your pussy out when they go to college and get the fucking party started.

• 1:13:21Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:13:21Speaker 04

  I can't wait.

• 1:13:25Speaker 00

  Okay, thanks for calling.

• 1:13:26Speaker 01

  Thanks, Hallie.

• 1:13:27Speaker 04

  Thank you.

• 1:13:29Speaker 01

  Bye.

• 1:13:29Speaker 00

  Bye.

• 1:13:31Speaker 01

  I love that Cajun accent.

• 1:13:33Speaker 00

  I know. It was like, I was like, where? And then she said something else and I'm like, wait, no, that's not Mrs. And then, that is a Cajun accent, for sure.

• 1:13:42Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:13:44Speaker 00

  Okay, well, that's our episode. Madeline Klein, who has been so cute and lovable. Oh, my God. You guys can watch Outer Banks. Season five is gonna be on Netflix in-

• 1:13:53Speaker 01

  In a couple of weeks.

• 1:13:54Speaker 00

  August 20th. August 20th, everybody.

• 1:13:59Speaker 01

  Oh, my God, his tongue.

• 1:14:01Speaker 00

  I know, they have purple tongues.

• 1:14:02Speaker 01

  Like giraffes.

• 1:14:04Speaker 00

  Oh.

• 1:14:11Speaker 01

  If you want advice from Chelsea, write in to [email protected]. Dear Chelsea is a production of iHeart Media. Follow Chelsea on all socials, at Chelsea Handler, and find Catherine on TikTok, at Flash Kadabra. Dear Chelsea is edited and engineered by Brandon Dickert, executive producer Catherine Law. Find full video episodes and minisodes now on Netflix and get tickets to see Chelsea live at chelseahandler.com.

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