"PEOPLE PUZZLER" (w/ Michelle Collins)

Too many hosts on this one! Michelle Collins, Las Cultch legend, joins the boys to spill the sauce and cackle for over an hour. In a sweepstakes event, the comedian and host of The Michelle Collins Show discusses Porky Pig’s beautiful curvaceous body, best memories inside a Duane Reade, and accidentally kicking a child at the outlets in Europe. Also, thoughts on Leah Remini joining RHOBH, Carole Radziwill’s return to RHONY, and how Lieutenant Dan from Forrest Gump was hot because he was actually played by Gary Sinise. All this, the crazy vibe of the You Can See Everything trailer and the unfortunate American story that is Elizabeth Holmes, Baylen Out Loud, Michelle’s audition for American Idol season 3 at the Javitz Center, and a confrontation of The View. See Michelle’s shows, she is the literal best of the best, no one else is funny. Cut that part out. No, leave it in. See omnystudio.com/listener https://omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

• 0:00Speaker 00

  This is an iHeart Podcast. Guaranteed Human.

• 0:04Speaker 01

  Season four of Sniffy's Cruising Confessions is here.

• 0:07Speaker 02

  This year, hosts Gabe Gonzalez and Chris Patterson-Rosso are unzipping the truth, challenging stereotypes, celebrating sex positivity, and keeping things delightfully unfiltered.

• 0:16Speaker 01

  Tune in for jaw-dropping, hilarious, and insightful chats with some of the boldest voices in the queer community, and dive deep into the history of cruising, queer scenes from Atlanta to Puerto Rico, how OnlyFans is reshaping adult content, and so much more.

• 0:31Speaker 02

  Feeling curious, maybe a little bold? Just push play.

• 0:34Speaker 01

  Listen to Sniffy's Cruising Confessions now on the iHeart Radio app or wherever you get your podcasts.

• 0:39Speaker 02

  Sponsored by Healthy Sexual from Gilead Sciences.

• 0:42Speaker 01

  Do you want to know the secret to life? It's Depop. And by life, I mean affordable fashion.

• 0:46Speaker 02

  Depop is where you can buy, sell, and discover desirable, inexpensive, secondhand fashion. Sell the stuff you no longer wear, with no selling fees, by the way, and make some money. Then use that money to buy things you actually want to wear for way less.

• 0:59Speaker 01

  Discover new things, evolve your style, become mysteriously cooler without becoming mysteriously broke.

• 1:05Speaker 02

  Make money on Depop with no selling fees and find what you want for less.

• 1:08Speaker 01

  We've been talking about Cupi Mayo for a minute now, and wow, so many of you already love this stuff.

• 1:14Speaker 02

  And if you're thinking, wait, what is Cupi? Do you not have the internet? It's the OG Japanese mayonnaise, the one with the red cap.

• 1:23Speaker 01

  What makes it different? Egg yolks. Cupi is made with egg yolks only, giving it this rich, umami flavor that elevates everything.

• 1:31Speaker 02

  Chefs use it, restaurants use it, where chefs work, of course. Food and flavor lovers use it.

• 1:37Speaker 01

  You haven't tried it yet? Well, find the red cap and see what everyone's talking about, why don't you? Cupi, the original Japanese mayonnaise.

• 1:46Speaker 02

  Cupi.

• 1:47Speaker 01

  Hey, everybody, it's me, Matt, and my tour is on sale now. This time, it's really Christmas. You can go to www.mattrogersofficial.com. Podcasts are a visual medium. If you're not watching me right now, I am holding in my hands my vinyl. It's called Have You Heard of Christmas? The answer to that question is coming. At this time, it's really Christmas. I'm playing all over the country, and in London, and in Canada. That makes it a world tour. Harry Styles, you're on burn notice. I'll see you soon.

• 2:20Speaker 01

  Look, Matt.

• 2:21Speaker 03

  Where?

• 2:21Speaker 01

  Oh, I see. Wow.

• 2:23Speaker 03

  Why?

• 2:23Speaker 01

  Bowen, look over there.

• 2:24Speaker 03

  Wow, is that culture?

• 2:25Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 2:26Speaker 03

  Oh, my goodness.

• 2:27Speaker 01

  Wow.

• 2:27Speaker 04

  Las Culturistas.

• 2:30Speaker 02

  Ding dong, Las Culturistas calling. They always come crawling back, don't they?

• 2:35Speaker 01

  This one went all the way to a different country and just said she learned how much she loved Americans when she returned. So it's not all bad.

• 2:42Speaker 02

  It's not all bad here. Hey, happy birthday, America 250.

• 2:47Speaker 01

  Today is the big America 250 episode, and we are, we're here with one of our, we went, we said, we need to pick a guest from one of our greatest states.

• 2:57Speaker 02

  Florida.

• 2:58Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:58Speaker 02

  And she is, oh my God, wait, I saw, speaking of Miami, which is where she's from, Alexia from Real Housewives of Miami posted one of the most gorgeous, surely AI, promotions about her, she like is hosting a sweepstakes where you can play bingo with her in Miami. She goes, I think the caption read, wanna play bingo with me? Enter the sweepstakes. I love sweepstakes.

• 3:25Speaker 01

  I was just gonna say, sweepstakes culture is so amazing. It's such an event.

• 3:30Speaker 02

  That's America.

• 3:31Speaker 01

  That is what America does best.

• 3:32Speaker 02

  Sweepstakes events.

• 3:34Speaker 01

  Sweepstakes events. It's actually Real Culture number 10. That's what America does best.

• 3:38Speaker 02

  Sweepstakes events.

• 3:39Speaker 01

  This is, literally, it's a frontrunner for title of ep, sweepstakes events.

• 3:44Speaker 02

  This is, I think, accompanied with our guest is its own sweepstakes event.

• 3:48Speaker 01

  I feel as if we're in a sweepstakes right now, because

• 3:51Speaker 02

  I love her.

• 3:51Speaker 01

  And can I tell you something? You remember when we did that show at Amsterdam that was the last episode?

• 3:55Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 3:56Speaker 01

  We lost the audio.

• 3:57Speaker 02

  At Boom Chicago, we lost the audio.

• 3:58Speaker 01

  And our friend, who's our guest today, was like, I, she posited that we just lost the episode, in quotes, because she was so much funnier than us that night.

• 4:06Speaker 03

  No, that's not what I said. Oh, my God. Now I will interrupt.

• 4:11Speaker 02

  Come in.

• 4:12Speaker 03

  I've been biting my tongue for 10 minutes.

• 4:14Speaker 01

  Please welcome Michelle Collins.

• 4:16Speaker 03

  Hi. I'm gonna kill you, actually. I would never, you're the two funniest people I know.

• 4:20Speaker 02

  That's not true, Michelle.

• 4:21Speaker 01

  You stomped us that night.

• 4:22Speaker 03

  I'm dead serious. With the camera, literally not cracking a smile, stone-faced.

• 4:26Speaker 01

  Can I listen to you? Can I tell you what I just re-listened to? Your Someone Spilled Sauce.

• 4:30Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah.

• 4:31Speaker 02

  Oh, my God.

• 4:32Speaker 01

  It's the only story I ever want to hear.

• 4:34Speaker 02

  I almost want you to tell it again, but I know, I encourage the listener to go back to the original Someone Spilled Sauce episode, one of the most I've cried in my life, any emotion.

• 4:45Speaker 03

  Oh, my God.

• 4:46Speaker 01

  Has she ever reached out? Has Leah ever sort of?

• 4:48Speaker 03

  No, but I was at an event, some breakfast here in the city, in some

• 4:53Speaker 01

  I was at some breakfast.

• 4:54Speaker 03

  God-awful hotel. I don't even remember who it was. I feel like I'm gonna offend, like, the charity or whatever that it was for, but she was there, and she, it was, it was big names. It was Kerry Washington, her, someone else, and she, they, Operation Dumbo dropped her into the chair. I don't even think, no, she didn't, she came in like how they move the cows in Switzerland via helicopter. She didn't step. They dropped her in the chair. She said nine words, and they airlifted that bitch out of there.

• 5:20Speaker 01

  Do you remember what the nine words were? What do you mean?

• 5:22Speaker 02

  What are you talking about?

• 5:23Speaker 03

  She did not, she did not talk to a single person in the room, and that's fine, because she scares me a little bit. The talent. Listen, if she wasn't

• 5:32Speaker 01

  Because of the talent.

• 5:33Speaker 03

  If she wasn't talented, the way that

• 5:36Speaker 02

  Who'd be put up with that?

• 5:36Speaker 03

  I mean, this would be a different combo.

• 5:38Speaker 01

  Second night she did Funny Girl, we were absolutely floored.

• 5:43Speaker 03

  I saw her, too.

• 5:44Speaker 01

  Like, it's, it's so amazing what she's capable of, and then Someone Spilled Sauce. And she goes, ugh.

• 5:50Speaker 03

  She's never said one word to me in the history of her being alive.

• 5:54Speaker 01

  She's just made a sound.

• 5:56Speaker 03

  Including that elevator. She went, and her boyfriend at the time, because now she's married with kids, I think.

• 5:59Speaker 02

  Right.

• 6:00Speaker 03

  Couldn't have been nice. I mean, a true gem, if he's out there, a really nice guy. He was like, thanks. And then she, I visited the elevator again, because that's also famously the elevator.

• 6:10Speaker 02

  Anytime we drive past a Bevmo, we think of you.

• 6:13Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 6:14Speaker 03

  I'm so flattered. It's a great, so they have everything there. It's like what Blockbuster Video used to be, Bevmo, because it's like beverages, but then there's a whole mart in there. Yeah, there's Mo.

• 6:23Speaker 01

  There's a whole Mo. There's tons of Bev, and there's tons of Mo.

• 6:26Speaker 03

  Bed Bath & Mo, honey. I love that store, too.

• 6:28Speaker 01

  I miss Bed Bath & Beyond.

• 6:30Speaker 03

  Speaking of sweepstakes, we also don't have coupons anymore. We have nothing fun left.

• 6:34Speaker 01

  No.

• 6:35Speaker 02

  It's so true.

• 6:35Speaker 01

  No, I agree. And we got a brand new set. What do you think?

• 6:38Speaker 03

  I love it. I love how hot I am on it, and that I'm in a long sleeve. No, and this is gonna show the stains, but I love it. No, you know that, can I compliment you guys? Because I want to go back.

• 6:48Speaker 01

  Go back.

• 6:49Speaker 03

  I can reach, long arms, 6'4" wingspan. Get that on record.

• 6:53Speaker 01

  An eagle.

• 6:55Speaker 03

  She's an eagle when she flies.

• 6:59Speaker 01

  She's an eagle when she flies.

• 7:01Speaker 03

  I'm gonna compliment you, because I take umbrage with you saying that I was too funny. Thank you. I love her.

• 7:07Speaker 01

  I'm kidding.

• 7:08Speaker 02

  Love her.

• 7:08Speaker 03

  You are, I, no, I had a different theory that I'm not gonna bring up, because I don't want this episode to be lost as well.

• 7:14Speaker 02

  About Harry Potter?

• 7:15Speaker 01

  Oh, that you came, you came for Kelly Clarkson on that episode.

• 7:18Speaker 03

  As a joke, because, speaking of great voices.

• 7:20Speaker 01

  She's on the show next week.

• 7:21Speaker 03

  Are you serious?

• 7:22Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 7:23Speaker 03

  Oh, my, yeah, but you're like friends with her now, right?

• 7:25Speaker 01

  We

• 7:25Speaker 03

  You are, just say it.

• 7:26Speaker 01

  No, we're not friends.

• 7:27Speaker 02

  I don't think, I wouldn't call us friends. We're so lucky to be

• 7:30Speaker 01

  We love her.

• 7:31Speaker 03

  No, she, I'm gonna say something. I'm glad that we're not gonna lose this episode. She is truly the greatest voice. I mean, I don't want to compare her to like the Celine's or the

• 7:40Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 7:41Speaker 01

  No, I think you can at this juncture.

• 7:43Speaker 03

  How do we say it? Leah's?

• 7:44Speaker 01

  Leah, Michelle.

• 7:45Speaker 03

  I purposely wasn't saying it before, because I was like, this is why, I'm gonna prove that I'm no fan, because I'm gonna mess up Leah and Michelle.

• 7:51Speaker 01

  Yeah, Leah and Michelle.

• 7:51Speaker 02

  And Leia Remini, I believe.

• 7:53Speaker 03

  Yes, also on Housewives.

• 7:55Speaker 01

  Big news.

• 7:55Speaker 02

  Big news. What's this, Gus?

• 7:56Speaker 03

  It's too big for the show. I can't talk about the news on this show.

• 8:00Speaker 02

  Do you think the show can, can, can bear the weight of Scientology?

• 8:03Speaker 03

  They need something. I mean, this last season, I'm like, can we get a cult here?

• 8:07Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 8:07Speaker 03

  That's why Salt Lake is good, because we're like, oh, they're all involved in these underground situations.

• 8:12Speaker 01

  I kind of thought for a second we'd get Dorit to go full psycho killer, like Bunny Boiler, and I thought maybe this is making a good turn, but she kind of kept it, she kept her humanity.

• 8:21Speaker 03

  She did. A hair, yes, I know. No one hates her more than my mother. If you really want to have a Dorit hater on this show, please fly her in.

• 8:29Speaker 01

  If you really want to have a Dorit hater.

• 8:30Speaker 03

  Fly her out. Fly her out. She would, I mean, she couldn't handle the heat. Wait, listen, back to you, forget him.

• 8:37Speaker 02

  She's in Miami.

• 8:38Speaker 03

  She's in Miami, yeah, but she doesn't leave the house. No, literally doesn't leave. She goes, why would I leave the house? Look at my view. All my life doesn't leave is full copycat.

• 8:46Speaker 02

  Why would I leave the house? Look at my view? That's amazing. I can't see my view from outside.

• 8:50Speaker 03

  Oh, my God, I just spilled on your new set. Wait, the set is gorgeous, by the way.

• 8:52Speaker 01

  Do you love it? And you like your Mariah, Matt, and Bo cup?

• 8:55Speaker 03

  I picked it out of all the mugs.

• 8:57Speaker 01

  You guys were doing a new thing. The guest picks a cup.

• 8:59Speaker 02

  The guest picks a cup.

• 9:00Speaker 01

  Oh, we love it.

• 9:01Speaker 03

  I would have brought you a mug. I didn't know it was like a thing. Anyway, um, okay, I have to now memento what the hell we were talking about.

• 9:06Speaker 02

  Compliment.

• 9:07Speaker 03

  Relax, I'm getting there. I had something else. I mean, okay, no. So, I love you guys. Oh, the Kelly thing. So, no, I came for Kelly as a joke.

• 9:17Speaker 02

  Right.

• 9:17Speaker 03

  Because as a talk show host, lol, we'll get to that, unemployed. I have a podcast, but you know.

• 9:25Speaker 01

  Hey, those are talk shows now.

• 9:25Speaker 02

  Those are talk shows now.

• 9:26Speaker 01

  Look at this.

• 9:27Speaker 02

  Look at this.

• 9:27Speaker 03

  I know, yeah, but you two.

• 9:28Speaker 01

  We have a set.

• 9:29Speaker 03

  You know what my set is?

• 9:30Speaker 01

  What?

• 9:30Speaker 03

  Porky Pig, no pants, top, bed. I don't put pants on for my show. My person said, I don't care.

• 9:35Speaker 02

  I was just saying, because we saw Heidi versus Zach meeting the other night, Porky Pig is one of the greatest Americans.

• 9:41Speaker 03

  By far.

• 9:42Speaker 01

  And he had a line about his pantslessness.

• 9:44Speaker 03

  What'd he say?

• 9:44Speaker 01

  He said, is this the audition for the pantsless model?

• 9:48Speaker 02

  The pantsless model.

• 9:49Speaker 03

  He has a perfect body. He has a perfect body.

• 9:52Speaker 01

  Literally, perfect, beautiful curves.

• 9:54Speaker 03

  Yeah, smooth.

• 9:55Speaker 01

  So sweet.

• 9:56Speaker 03

  He's really a sweetheart, and he never, he always got a bad, he never had an easy day.

• 10:00Speaker 02

  Never complained.

• 10:01Speaker 03

  Porky never went to Italy.

• 10:03Speaker 01

  Smooth, beautiful, complaintless, little piece of ass.

• 10:07Speaker 02

  We should, okay, let's, let's put a pin in Looney Tunes, because we talked about Muppets, your first episode, where we all kind of were hot for Sam the Eagle.

• 10:14Speaker 03

  Oh, my, still.

• 10:14Speaker 02

  We all wanted to fuck Sam the Eagle, because he would peck the shit out of you.

• 10:16Speaker 01

  You can rub his bald head while he eats you out.

• 10:18Speaker 03

  Yeah. Oh, my God. Goodbye. I feel like it would be soft feathers, don't you think, up there? Not bald, which I like both.

• 10:26Speaker 02

  But he's a bald eagle, huh?

• 10:27Speaker 03

  Yeah, but he's got the babies, like, you know Simon Pegg has those little British hairs. You know what I'm talking about, the river liver.

• 10:32Speaker 01

  Well, Simon Pegg's always top of mind for you sexually. You were saying that as you came in.

• 10:37Speaker 02

  Simon Pegg, no.

• 10:37Speaker 03

  When people go, "Do you peg?" I'm like, "One kind? I want you to cut that. I'm sorry. I have parents. I have parents. Listen, Kelly.

• 10:47Speaker 01

  Kelly.

• 10:47Speaker 03

  So Kelly, she, we're putting all the idols now on TV for talk shows? That was my point. I love her.

• 10:53Speaker 01

  I don't think So Honey was all these singers doing talk shows. And I have to say, it was something we noticed as well.

• 10:59Speaker 02

  Jay Hud and Kelly and...

• 11:01Speaker 01

  And then Drew Barrymore hosts her show. She's an actress primarily, if we remember.

• 11:05Speaker 02

  Hank, no, and you're saying that this is, this is a little bump with you because you are trained as a talk show.

• 11:11Speaker 03

  Speaking of Looney Tunes, I'm literally pulling fish bones out of the trash and putting them on the lid. Do you know what I'm talking about? That Sylvester does not.

• 11:17Speaker 01

  Well, you're gonna love Kelly now she quit, she quit her show.

• 11:19Speaker 03

  I know. Why'd she do that, though?

• 11:21Speaker 01

  I, I think we're gonna talk about it.

• 11:23Speaker 03

  Okay, save it for the show. She is, I mean, she's really an incredible talent and lovable, huh?

• 11:27Speaker 01

  Could you believe the K-pop Demon Hunter song that she sang for her last Kelly-okey? I was like, she really knocked him out of the world for the last show she did.

• 11:36Speaker 03

  My contact lenses were like, crick, crack, crack, crack, like they crack. She hit that high A5 and I was like, uh, I felt, I went plaid, like in baseballs. I've seen new colors.

• 11:43Speaker 01

  I went plaid.

• 11:44Speaker 03

  I went plaid. She's incredible. Okay, back to you two. So, what I want to say, and I told you this to your face that night, but I need to have it here, that when I was in the audience and you were so generous to have me in that sketch for the Los Culturistas Awards, but watching you two, I really have to say this from my heart, I could cry saying it. You guys smashed that so hard. And I'm, and I'm like a tough critic. I hate everybody. You know that, like I...

• 12:08Speaker 02

  But everyone loves you, which is so...

• 12:09Speaker 03

  Cut this out.

• 12:10Speaker 02

  No, you're the Leah Michelle of comedy. Go.

• 12:11Speaker 01

  Four people make me laugh.

• 12:13Speaker 03

  No, truly, leave that in. And they know who they are. They're pretty much on your shirt and like, maybe six other people.

• 12:19Speaker 01

  Maybe six other people. Four people make me laugh. They're on your shirt and maybe six other people.

• 12:25Speaker 03

  American, Miami education, Miami education. You guys were so good and like, not just the comedy and the professionalism. That's when I was like, oh, these are different people. Like I, I, cause I knew you guys back in your old podcast days.

• 12:39Speaker 01

  We were in a sandbox.

• 12:41Speaker 03

  We were in the same network, I won't say, but, um...

• 12:43Speaker 01

  It's on my shirt, Forever Dog.

• 12:45Speaker 03

  It's Forever Dog. God bless those boys.

• 12:46Speaker 01

  Yeah, we love them.

• 12:47Speaker 03

  I'm the sweetest guys in the world.

• 12:49Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 12:49Speaker 03

  But yeah, you guys were just unbelievable. The song number, the heated rivalry. I was, I felt like you're a relative who's just like, I can't believe I produced this. Like I made them. No, you were unbelievable.

• 13:00Speaker 02

  The way you've, we've downloaded your, your humor, your brain, your vibe, you're deeply influential to us, Michelle.

• 13:07Speaker 03

  That actually makes me very emotional because I really love you.

• 13:10Speaker 01

  You saw when I was asked who, who's the best end up and I said you.

• 13:13Speaker 03

  By the way, I saw that. I'm not even being funny. It's the highlight of my year, hearing that. I was just like, cause I was, it's just so nice. Thank you. Okay, this is now, this is not what the show is about. Save this for later, but you're so sweet.

• 13:24Speaker 02

  Okay, Looney Tunes.

• 13:25Speaker 03

  Tell people I'm in LA on September 24th.

• 13:27Speaker 01

  When's your show?

• 13:28Speaker 02

  September 23rd.

• 13:29Speaker 01

  September 24th.

• 13:30Speaker 02

  24th, I'm so sorry.

• 13:31Speaker 03

  They're gonna buy them on September 23rd when this comes out.

• 13:34Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah.

• 13:34Speaker 03

  And then I'm at the Elysian Theater, two episodes, two episodes, two, uh, shows.

• 13:38Speaker 01

  You're having two episodes at the Elysian backstage. You're gonna have a psychotic break.

• 13:42Speaker 02

  Man, it's a psycho.

• 13:43Speaker 01

  You penciled it in for the Elysian, as many have before.

• 13:47Speaker 03

  Oh, my God. Uh, that is really funny. No, I'm gonna have nine episodes, but there's two shows. And then I'm going on tour.

• 13:54Speaker 03

  I'm going on tour, but there's, uh, the cities haven't been announced yet, but I'm going to states I've never performed in before.

• 13:59Speaker 01

  See, and that's important, cause can I say, I, every year I announce the Christmas tour.

• 14:04Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 14:04Speaker 01

  Buy tickets now and they all, no one is ever happy where you're going. They're upset where you're not going.

• 14:11Speaker 02

  Yeah. Oh, wow.

• 14:13Speaker 01

  And it, it makes, it hurts my heart because all I want to do is visit everywhere that, that would ever wanna ever see me speak a word, but sometimes there's not enough.

• 14:23Speaker 03

  Some people fly. Listen, I have a listener, I'm gonna shout him out, he's such a nice guy, Jade. He lives in Mexico.

• 14:29Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 14:29Speaker 03

  He comes to every live show I do and he's like, normal and sweet, you know, otherwise I wouldn't be like, you know.

• 14:35Speaker 01

  We need to get him in here.

• 14:36Speaker 03

  He's, he's amazing.

• 14:37Speaker 01

  You, your mom and Jade.

• 14:39Speaker 03

  Okay, enough about, um...

• 14:40Speaker 01

  Enough about your upcoming shows.

• 14:41Speaker 03

  My fans and my shows. Let's talk, we have so much to get to, you guys.

• 14:44Speaker 01

  Can I say, what, what? We have so much to get to. You can't help but talk show host.

• 14:50Speaker 02

  What's happening in the culture?

• 14:52Speaker 01

  I mean, tons.

• 14:52Speaker 02

  Tons. Well, okay, let's talk about Leah Remini.

• 14:55Speaker 03

  Please.

• 14:56Speaker 02

  So, I think, I think it is what the show needs. She, she, she checks every box.

• 15:01Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 15:02Speaker 02

  We're so, I, I, I broke the news to you, which I felt like was the perfect counterweight to Matt telling me that Dolly Parton had died. He was, he was the one to tell me.

• 15:09Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 15:09Speaker 02

  And I was able to tell him that Leah Remini is gonna join the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.

• 15:12Speaker 03

  Similar, uh, levels of importance. Yeah, I agree.

• 15:16Speaker 01

  Yeah, well, well, God gives and takes. You know what I'm saying?

• 15:19Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 15:20Speaker 01

  Like, God actually said, God said, "We're gonna take Dolly Parton," but he said, "Don't worry, Leah Remini's gonna do Beverly Hills Housewives."

• 15:26Speaker 03

  Here's my question. What's gonna happen to People Puzzler? She's, are you kidding me?

• 15:33Speaker 03

  It's her game show. Are you guys literally, are you guys too busy? Are you working too much to watch People Puzzler?

• 15:38Speaker 02

  Tell us everything.

• 15:39Speaker 03

  Are you kidding me?

• 15:40Speaker 01

  Can we guess what People Puzzler is? All right, Leah, Leah Remini comes out, she's like, "All right, yeah, welcome back to People Puzzler."

• 15:46Speaker 02

  I'm the kinda person who...

• 15:48Speaker 01

  I'm the kinda person who hosts People Puzzler.

• 15:51Speaker 01

  Our friend Chrissy Schakelfer had the best joke about her ever, which is that she says this. "I'm the kinda person who tells you what kinda person that I am."

• 16:01Speaker 01

  So, she comes out and she hosts People Puzzler, which is, um, is it people being, uh, uh, sort of dropped down like Leah Michelle at that award show and put into a puzzle piece?

• 16:09Speaker 03

  Like Human Tetris? No, that would be incredible. We should pitch that.

• 16:14Speaker 01

  Human Tetris?

• 16:15Speaker 02

  I would love Human Tetris.

• 16:16Speaker 01

  With all three of us hosting Too Many Hosts.

• 16:18Speaker 03

  That's the show.

• 16:19Speaker 01

  Everyone's only note was, "I kinda liked the idea of Human Tetris. I don't know why there's three hosts who won't stop talking over each other."

• 16:25Speaker 02

  And they're all cutting each other off going, "No, you go. You go."

• 16:27Speaker 03

  I've been at a number of shows like that and they've all been huge successes. I think we should pitch a show called Too Many Hosts and it's just, and every day people are like, "This is horrible."

• 16:35Speaker 01

  And you have to say it like that, "Too many hosts."

• 16:37Speaker 03

  Too many.

• 16:38Speaker 02

  We could actually host a show that would rival The View.

• 16:43Speaker 03

  Listen, don't start with me because I got nowhere to be, I got no home, I can move anywhere in the world as we speak.

• 16:49Speaker 01

  I got nowhere to be, I got no home.

• 16:50Speaker 03

  I know, this is all true. I got no home, so talk to me.

• 16:52Speaker 02

  I think with the right table, with the right sized table and the right lucite letters, I think we could really send it up.

• 17:01Speaker 03

  Our intro with me popping out behind the Too Many Hosts sign, like, just me being like, uh, behind the T of Too Many Hosts?

• 17:08Speaker 01

  Cause you know how it is? It's like you, the pilot episode starts like this. It's like, "Welcome to Too Many Hosts. I'm Bowen Yang." And then you just think it's Bowen. And then I sort of like come in from the bottom of the frame and I say, "And I'm Matt Rogers." And then you poke in from behind the sign, "And I'm Michelle Khan."

• 17:21Speaker 03

  I storm through a big paper wall, like Kool-Aid Man. I have to storm through a wall. I won't do it otherwise. I rip open a big, it's like a brick paper wall and I'm like, and I'm Michelle.

• 17:31Speaker 01

  A brick paper wall.

• 17:32Speaker 03

  And I got a tiny person on my show. Who else would be on it? We gotta pitch this.

• 17:36Speaker 01

  And I'm Iago.

• 17:37Speaker 03

  Yeah, so you've heard, we gotta have a talking parrot on the show would be so funny.

• 17:41Speaker 02

  And genuinely, um, Bailey Dupree, Baylin Dupree.

• 17:44Speaker 03

  Is that the Tourette's?

• 17:45Speaker 02

  That's, that's, that's a Tourette's, uh, Copa, Copa Lali girl.

• 17:48Speaker 03

  She's gonna take over for People Puzzler now. It's gonna be a seven hour long show.

• 17:52Speaker 02

  What is, what is People Puzzler?

• 17:53Speaker 03

  Okay, it's genuinely so stupid and you're gonna be mad, but it's a game show based on the People Magazine crossword, so...

• 18:00Speaker 01

  Oh!

• 18:02Speaker 03

  It's really challenging, uh, and for really, and real smarties, uh, go on that show. And it, no, it's truly...

• 18:09Speaker 01

  Movie star last name Pitt.

• 18:11Speaker 03

  It's borderline remedial and some people are just like, exactly. They're like, "Be Burt Pitt." They don't know who it is. They're Burt Pitt. They have no clue.

• 18:20Speaker 01

  Burt Pitt sounds hot.

• 18:22Speaker 03

  Burt Pitt. That's a good shame, the Eagles brother. I'm Burt Pitt. It just feels like a big bald eagle.

• 18:28Speaker 01

  Burton Pitt.

• 18:31Speaker 01

  Isn't it crazy? Think about this. The Tom Cruise picture of him with Anne Hathaway in the Days of Thunder remake. Like, say what you will, the stardom emanating from that photo, and I was like, you gotta give it to him. He really is what, he really is that. And then for Anne Hathaway to just be like beaming in that photo, I love that she was like, you know what? Yeah, I am the biggest actress in the world.

• 18:51Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 18:51Speaker 01

  She fully was just like, "I'm gonna stand here, look into that camera, smile my smile and say, yeah, it's me."

• 18:58Speaker 03

  Those big eyes, those big dolly eyes. I watched Devil Wears Prada 2 on the plane.

• 19:03Speaker 01

  It's a great, uh, movie for all kinds of, uh, environments, planes, theaters, home.

• 19:08Speaker 03

  Buses. Yeah, yeah, environments. Beautifully put.

• 19:10Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 19:11Speaker 03

  Uh, anyway, People Puzzler, it's a hit. Back to Leah. So, yeah, I hope she's some amazing...

• 19:15Speaker 02

  It's a hit.

• 19:16Speaker 03

  It's a hit. It's a great show.

• 19:19Speaker 02

  I can't wait for Leah.

• 19:20Speaker 01

  She's been. I never praised anyone. I said that they have star quality, which is so different from being a good person. I can't even tell you.

• 19:28Speaker 03

  Well, isn't it crazy that we forgive him for?

• 19:31Speaker 01

  Never forgave.

• 19:32Speaker 03

  Abandoning in a way, though, because I mean, you see his movies, right? I see his movies and they're.

• 19:37Speaker 02

  I don't. I can't tell you what the last Tom Cruise movie is. Maybe like.

• 19:41Speaker 01

  You're probably gonna see Digger because it's getting Oscar buzz.

• 19:45Speaker 03

  You know, but you know what? Here's my issue with that trailer. If I'm watching a trailer that has bad wigs and like clear latex prosthetics that have not been blended, that are just so spirit Halloween.

• 19:58Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 19:58Speaker 03

  I'm immediately, and like the cat puppet is so fake. I'm just like, I don't like what this is. Unless it's a South Park movie. I'm like, I don't like this. Remember those?

• 20:06Speaker 02

  Remember those? With the South Park movie?

• 20:08Speaker 01

  Bigger, longer, uncut.

• 20:09Speaker 03

  The best.

• 20:09Speaker 01

  Oh, I've never laughed harder than than the films.

• 20:12Speaker 03

  No. It's true, though. It's really true.

• 20:16Speaker 01

  I've never laughed harder than the films.

• 20:18Speaker 03

  This is, by the way, remember when I had great stories and now I'm talking about people puzzler? I'm here. I waited years to come back here and I'm bringing up literally the worst game show on TV.

• 20:26Speaker 02

  Anytime they drop your name, they're like, well, Michelle Collins wants to come. We're like, she's family.

• 20:30Speaker 01

  She's family. It's always an open door.

• 20:31Speaker 03

  Call me anytime someone drops out. Honey, I'm pantsless. I'm home. I'm there. Yes.

• 20:36Speaker 01

  I'm pantsless. You're Porky Pig in it.

• 20:38Speaker 03

  I'm in full Porky Pig mode all day. I genuinely.

• 20:41Speaker 01

  So, okay, just to really.

• 20:42Speaker 02

  Porky Pig mode means that you're wearing a blazer and a little bow tie.

• 20:45Speaker 03

  Yes, sir. And my underwear. I have underwear on.

• 20:47Speaker 01

  Yes, I'm sir. Yes, I'm sir.

• 20:50Speaker 02

  Yes, I'm sir.

• 20:50Speaker 01

  Okay, so Leah Remini, what can predict the landscape socially for her for her first season? Is she getting along with Erica Jane?

• 20:59Speaker 03

  Oh, I don't think she's getting along with anybody. I actually think that she is a really tough girl. She's, I think, best friends with Michelle Visage, who I know and I love Michelle. She's great. Michelle's a tough girl. That's why we like her.

• 21:11Speaker 01

  They both are.

• 21:12Speaker 03

  They both are. And that's what I mean. And I think that someone coming in as a newbie to that show with that level of also fame, recognition, doing the right thing when it comes to what she's done with Scientology and everything else. And I just, I can't explain it. I just feel like they're not gonna like it. I don't think Erica's gonna like it. I've never met Erica.

• 21:31Speaker 01

  I think Erica will actually appreciate it. I'll tell you who's gonna have a hard time with hearing the truth plainly stated out loud is, say it with me, Kyle.

• 21:39Speaker 03

  Well, Kyle needs to go.

• 21:40Speaker 01

  Kyle, the second Leah's gonna look at her and be like, so you're a lesbian or what?

• 21:45Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 21:45Speaker 01

  And then, and then Kyle's gonna be like, she's gonna do the whole like.

• 21:48Speaker 03

  Tip her cowboy hat.

• 21:50Speaker 01

  She's, when Kyle gets upset and she.

• 21:55Speaker 03

  I know, but why is she still? You know, listen, I love Bravo. I love.

• 21:58Speaker 02

  Oh, we love Bravo.

• 21:59Speaker 03

  I mean, this is like my bread and butter. So I feel like when I'm criticizing the stuff, it's because we love it, right?

• 22:03Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're like tipping them over with love.

• 22:06Speaker 03

  Exactly. I stopped watching OC this season. It just, I couldn't do it anymore. I'm like, listen, I'm busy watching The Puzzler. I went to college. Like, I have things that are good in my life.

• 22:17Speaker 01

  Between having a college degree and watching The Puzzler, how do you have time for Real Housewives of Orange County?

• 22:21Speaker 03

  I literally don't have time for OC.

• 22:23Speaker 02

  I don't have time. I went to college.

• 22:27Speaker 01

  I, it sounded like one reason, but it was two. I don't have time. I went to college.

• 22:32Speaker 03

  I'm busy. I'm busy.

• 22:35Speaker 01

  I'm busy. I'm busy trying to hang up this degree on the wall. I went to college. I can't get it on the wall.

• 22:40Speaker 03

  I never got my degree.

• 22:42Speaker 01

  What?

• 22:42Speaker 03

  Three credits shy. That's the name of the episode.

• 22:45Speaker 02

  Okay, so you went to college, you didn't get your degree.

• 22:46Speaker 03

  I walked in. That's why I'm busy.

• 22:49Speaker 01

  That's why you can't.

• 22:50Speaker 03

  That's why I'm so busy. Don't you see? I gotta learn Spanish before I get the diploma. I have a lot of work to do.

• 22:56Speaker 02

  Oh, my God.

• 22:57Speaker 03

  I'm boiling hot. Stay showing up. You tell me, right? Anybody? Are they showing up? For sure.

• 23:01Speaker 01

  No, I wore a t-shirt today.

• 23:03Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 23:03Speaker 02

  Learning Spanish in college, you don't have to take Spanish.

• 23:07Speaker 03

  You do at Barnard College. You need four semesters of a language. And I.

• 23:12Speaker 01

  Oh, my God.

• 23:13Speaker 02

  That's so cruel. I mean, I guess that's wonderful.

• 23:15Speaker 03

  And then guess what happened my senior year?

• 23:18Speaker 01

  What?

• 23:19Speaker 03

  The biggest tragedy in American history.

• 23:21Speaker 01

  Oh, 9/11.

• 23:22Speaker 03

  And so I was.

• 23:25Speaker 03

  Because how can I?

• 23:26Speaker 01

  She did it.

• 23:26Speaker 03

  How can I learn a language when this, I'm living on Broadway. I'm having nightmares about ambulances and sirens. I'm donating yogurts at the Javits Center and you want me to learn how to speak Spanish in 2001?

• 23:39Speaker 01

  We don't want you to.

• 23:40Speaker 03

  Are you insane? I couldn't go home for Thanksgiving. I had to do it alone in my dorm and you want me to learn how to? Fourth semester, how to speak Spanish?

• 23:47Speaker 01

  The tragedy that month.

• 23:48Speaker 03

  Give me a break.

• 23:51Speaker 03

  Yeah, at the Javits Center. I'm dead serious. Not a smile being cracked, okay?

• 23:57Speaker 01

  The Javits Center has a glamour, though.

• 23:59Speaker 02

  It was 2001.

• 24:00Speaker 03

  It was 2001. It had a lot going on.

• 24:02Speaker 01

  You know what the thing they say about the Javits Center, though? A lot of community.

• 24:05Speaker 03

  I love it. I auditioned for American Idol there. I have a lot of history with the Javits Center.

• 24:08Speaker 02

  Tell us.

• 24:09Speaker 03

  You know that story.

• 24:10Speaker 01

  Walk us through your American Idol audition.

• 24:12Speaker 03

  Oh, my God. Well, this is a story I've told before. So to the people who know me at all, there's seven of you watching. But.

• 24:18Speaker 02

  Jade, you can go and go to the bathroom now, Jade.

• 24:20Speaker 03

  Yeah, I love him so much. I, I auditioned the year Fantasia, who we love, won. It was one of the greatest seasons.

• 24:27Speaker 01

  Yeah, it really was. It was a great season.

• 24:29Speaker 03

  Was that Melinda Doolittle was on that season?

• 24:30Speaker 01

  No, that was season five, I think. Four or five? Melinda may have been season four. Yeah. Because season four was Taylor Hicks and, no, no, no. Season four was Carrie Underwood.

• 24:42Speaker 02

  Oh, and.

• 24:43Speaker 03

  Was that that long ago? I thought Carrie was way later.

• 24:46Speaker 01

  Season four was Carrie Underwood and Bo Weiss was the runner up. And then that was, that would be the season that third place was Von Zell.

• 24:52Speaker 03

  Oh, yes. God, you have a great memory, Matt.

• 24:54Speaker 01

  For gay shit like this, yeah.

• 24:56Speaker 02

  Because Von Zell sang the theme song for Game Show on.

• 24:59Speaker 01

  Do you remember that?

• 24:59Speaker 03

  You're kidding me.

• 25:00Speaker 01

  When Game Show was on Quibi, we were looking for, we had, our bit was that the house band was just one phenomenal singer. And so we got Von Zell Solomon from American Idol, season four.

• 25:11Speaker 03

  That's unbelievable. You know, I love Latoya London. By the way, when you say, when you say Quibi, it's like a super cell activation for me. I blackout and I get so mad that I never got my free Quibi check. Everyone I know got like a six-figure check.

• 25:25Speaker 01

  Changed my life.

• 25:26Speaker 03

  I believe it.

• 25:27Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 25:27Speaker 03

  I actually can't talk about it, but I'm happy for you, though.

• 25:29Speaker 01

  Literally changed my life and then no one ever spoke of Quibi again until today.

• 25:34Speaker 03

  I, listen.

• 25:35Speaker 01

  And now I have to give the money back.

• 25:37Speaker 03

  You don't actually.

• 25:37Speaker 01

  Just kidding.

• 25:39Speaker 02

  Joking.

• 25:40Speaker 03

  You don't. You don't. Okay.

• 25:41Speaker 01

  Wait, whoa, American Idol.

• 25:42Speaker 03

  I'll make it quick. Basically, my friend Lang Fisher, who is a very successful writer, we went to college together. So we were like, let's audition as a joke, just like when I ran for homecoming queen in high school as a joke. And then something happens halfway through where I'm competitive.

• 25:56Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah.

• 25:57Speaker 03

  And I was senior princess. That means second, but I was happy with that.

• 26:00Speaker 01

  I didn't know about senior princess. Senior princess is crazy.

• 26:04Speaker 03

  I was homecoming senior princess.

• 26:08Speaker 03

  And you know who was the prince was the mascot. We had Charlie the Charger. Shout out to my NMB. It's the worst high school in the world. Charlie, he was two and a half feet tall because he had to fit in the horse.

• 26:17Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 26:17Speaker 03

  And we had to dance at home. It was a mess. Anyway, okay. I, but I got very competitive about it. And so we lined up at the Javits Center, I think, two or three days early because we were like, we gotta do this.

• 26:25Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 26:26Speaker 03

  And it was so long ago that they wheeled out Jared, the subway guy. And I was like so excited.

• 26:31Speaker 02

  Wheeled out.

• 26:32Speaker 03

  Like he walked through the crowd.

• 26:33Speaker 01

  He was like, the, like, American Idol is so big. The biggest stars are coming to say hello to everyone in line. And it was like Jared from Subway.

• 26:41Speaker 03

  And he didn't look at me, probably because I looked 49.

• 26:46Speaker 01

  This ad is sponsored by Vive Healthcare.

• 26:49Speaker 02

  Time for some prep wisdom.

• 26:50Speaker 01

  But first, some common sense, people. Everyone is different. Every one. Yes, even you. Yes, even your situationship.

• 26:56Speaker 02

  Especially your situationship. And just like people, injectable prep options, not all the same.

• 27:03Speaker 01

  That's why you need to talk to your doctor and know what to ask. So here's some prep wisdom.

• 27:07Speaker 02

  Did you know there's more to consider about long-acting injectable prep options than how often you get it? Also, why you want to take it matters. Your lifestyle matters. Your routine, your chaos level, your, I might forget my own birthday energy. All of it counts.

• 27:20Speaker 01

  Basically, talk to your doctor. Have the conversation. Ask the questions. Be a little nosy about your own health. It's allowed, encouraged even. Okay, did you write all that down?

• 27:29Speaker 02

  No.

• 27:29Speaker 01

  Don't worry.

• 27:30Speaker 02

  Just head to getprepwisdom.com to learn what to ask your doctor. That's getprepwisdom.com.

• 27:36Speaker 01

  You probably think dressing well takes lots of money or lots of time spent digging through thrift stores.

• 27:41Speaker 02

  Well, not to be rude, but you're wrong. So dead wrong. And honestly, we're happy for you because now we get to tell you about Depop.

• 27:50Speaker 01

  You can find the fashion you love for less on Depop.

• 27:53Speaker 02

  And it doesn't matter what you're into. Leopard print? They've got it. Not into leopard print? First of all, why? But fine. They've got that too. Not leopard print. Basically, whatever your particular fashion situation is, Depop has entered the chat.

• 28:08Speaker 01

  We're talking over 600,000 daily listings, including celebrity and stylist shop drops.

• 28:13Speaker 02

  That's a lot of listings. And somehow it gets better. You can sell the stuff you no longer wear and make money. Then use that money to buy things you do want to wear.

• 28:22Speaker 01

  It's a circle, like the circle of life, but for fashion. And since fashion is life for a lot of people, samezies.

• 28:28Speaker 02

  Depop Fashion.

• 28:31Speaker 02

  If it made sense.

• 28:32Speaker 01

  Make money on Depop with no selling fees and find what you want for less.

• 28:37Speaker 02

  Depop, love you.

• 28:39Speaker 01

  Hey, Bowen, point of order. It feels like nothing is what it says it is anymore.

• 28:42Speaker 02

  Point of answer, it's because everything has a catch.

• 28:45Speaker 01

  Hey, or it turns out to be something else entirely.

• 28:47Speaker 02

  Like a total catfish situation.

• 28:49Speaker 01

  Exactly, Bo.

• 28:50Speaker 02

  Except for hotels.com.

• 28:51Speaker 01

  Yeah, that one's pretty literal.

• 28:53Speaker 02

  Because it's hotels.com. It's in the domain. You go there, you book hotels, hundreds of thousands of them.

• 28:59Speaker 01

  And hold up, that's it?

• 29:01Speaker 02

  That's it. And when stays are booked as a member, rewards are earned every time.

• 29:05Speaker 01

  Every stay?

• 29:05Speaker 02

  Every stay. No tracking or managing, just rewards that can be used like cash on future bookings.

• 29:10Speaker 01

  Which, by the way, already feels nicer than most rewards programs, okay?

• 29:14Speaker 02

  Yeah. Members can also get up to 20% off bookings, so savings start right away.

• 29:18Speaker 01

  Does that mean no weird restrictions?

• 29:20Speaker 02

  And no blackout dates. Book what works, when it works. It's actually really fitting of real travel.

• 29:26Speaker 01

  So the name is honest, you're saying? And the rewards are too?

• 29:29Speaker 02

  Exactly. Hotels.com. It's all in the name.

• 29:33Speaker 01

  Ever wondered how to cruise? And I'm not talking about boats. Season four of Sniffy's Cruising Confessions is finally here, and it's hotter, smarter, and spicier than ever.

• 29:41Speaker 02

  Hosts Gabe Gonzalez and Chris Patterson-Rasso know their stuff, and this year, they're not afraid to get a little hands-on.

• 29:47Speaker 01

  They're serving up jaw-dropping, insightful, and seriously hilarious conversations with some of the boldest voices in the queer community, from celebrities and comedians to kinksters and cruising pros.

• 29:57Speaker 02

  This season's all about challenging stereotypes, celebrating sex positivity, and keeping things delightfully unfiltered. Because intimacy doesn't always look like candlelight and roses, sometimes it's spontaneous, curious, and a little unexpected.

• 30:10Speaker 01

  Get ready for deep dives into the history of cruising, trending gay cosmetic procedures, dispatches from Atlanta to Puerto Rico, how OnlyFans is reshaping adult content, and so much more.

• 30:21Speaker 02

  So if you're feeling curious, maybe a little bold, consider this your official invitation to push play.

• 30:26Speaker 01

  Listen to Sniffy's Cruising Confessions, now on the iHeartRadio app, wherever you get your podcasts.

• 30:31Speaker 02

  New episodes every Tuesday, sponsored by Healthy Sexual from Gilead Sciences.

• 30:35Speaker 03

  So we, Lang and I were like so excited, and we went to the first, finally we make it, and it was like a full cattle call. There was a guy who was selling t-shirts, because it's a whole business, like merch and everything.

• 30:45Speaker 01

  Like anything.

• 30:46Speaker 03

  When we got into the main room, like anything, they had 10 tables set up, we were at full Temple Grandin cattle, you know, like in the little fence, and so we get to the table.

• 30:56Speaker 02

  It was horses.

• 30:57Speaker 03

  Yeah, they were like squeeze, squeeze box. I'll talk about the movie every day, by the way. College, three credits shy, remember that? Never forget that.

• 31:06Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 31:06Speaker 03

  So anyway, I, Lang and I go to the thing, and she was like a bad, she would say herself, like she's not a great singer, one of the funniest people.

• 31:13Speaker 01

  What did she choose to sing?

• 31:15Speaker 03

  Oh my god, I don't even remember her song, but what I do remember is that we were all, I kept singing in line, because you know, we're all practicing. It was like kind of a nightmare. Everybody was like singing Joe to see for hours, and I'm going, you guys, hold your voices, like we're not in yet.

• 31:29Speaker 01

  You're coaching on the street.

• 31:31Speaker 03

  Guys, guys.

• 31:32Speaker 01

  If we're all gonna win American Idol, we can blow our voice.

• 31:36Speaker 03

  You gotta stop. And we went into Dwayne Reed, and I kept saying like, I'm a little horse, I'm a little horse, and her joke, very funny, she would go, nee.

• 31:44Speaker 02

  So good.

• 31:44Speaker 03

  And then we go to Dwayne Reed, I see a little stuffed horse, you know me, lips fully tucked into the gums, I'm like, yoink, bye, because I'm a really, a real fool, and I buy this thing, give it to her. And then, when we auditioned, she, I said, you should do this in your audition, and she went, you'll have to excuse me, I'm a little horse, and held up the horse, made it on the final cut of American Idol. We, I made it past the first round.

• 32:06Speaker 01

  You did.

• 32:07Speaker 03

  I did. In my head, thinking, I'm gonna win.

• 32:10Speaker 02

  Win American Idol.

• 32:11Speaker 03

  Against Fantasia Barrino. I'm gonna win it.

• 32:13Speaker 02

  At the peak of American Idol.

• 32:15Speaker 03

  The peak.

• 32:16Speaker 01

  Yeah, couldn't have been bigger.

• 32:17Speaker 03

  There is no question I was an outtake. There is just now thinking back, because I do like to sing, I have a good voice, but it's like.

• 32:22Speaker 01

  You do?

• 32:23Speaker 03

  They, they said to me, this is how I know I was an outtake, because I sang a really hard song to sing, which is Show and Tell, I think it's Al Wilson, because they were like, don't sing, you know, Somewhere Over the Rainbow. I'm like, well, no one's gonna sing this song, so I sang it. And then, they said, be big.

• 32:40Speaker 01

  No. They were baiting you.

• 32:43Speaker 03

  They went, be big, be big, and I was like, yeah, that's a really great note. And I remember on The Simpsons, when Lisa Simpson walks in, and she's like, you owe a grand old flag, and she's like walking around and marching around. So I started marching around the group. This wasn't the first thing, singing something, and they were like, that's perfect, that's perfect. They were like, do that again tomorrow when you come back.

• 33:03Speaker 01

  Can you imagine how insane some of these people out there don't know it's a bit? They're just like, yeah, could you come a marching in? Not marching in, could you come a marching in?

• 33:14Speaker 03

  Come a marching in. And I did it the next day. And the funny thing is, Nigel was there the next day then, it was like, it was at the Waldorf, yeah, it was like, we're the ugliest outfit, I mean, forget it, like.

• 33:23Speaker 01

  Can't you describe?

• 33:24Speaker 03

  Oh my god, it was like a blue mesh, there used to be this brand, I think, called Foosie, I don't know, whatever.

• 33:29Speaker 01

  Blue mesh? That's so ugly.

• 33:32Speaker 03

  I was bigger at the time, it wasn't easy, the man sees plus-size department at the time, not as good as today, no ASOS at the time, you know.

• 33:39Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 33:39Speaker 03

  Anyway, so I go in, and I sang Show and Tell, and they were like, stop. Oh, mind you, the camera like here was fixed.

• 33:46Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 33:47Speaker 03

  It was not tracking me. There is somewhere video footage of me walking back and forth.

• 33:52Speaker 02

  In and out of frame.

• 33:53Speaker 03

  In and out of frame, singing this, like.

• 33:55Speaker 01

  They go, stop.

• 33:56Speaker 03

  They went, stop. He goes, do you have anything else? I said, uh, well, I guess I could whip up Summertime, you know, I love a porky and best moment.

• 34:05Speaker 01

  This is pre her doing it on the show too, Fantasia.

• 34:08Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 34:08Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 34:09Speaker 03

  And I sang Summertime, but genuinely with the heart of a million angels. Like, I was coming in really.

• 34:15Speaker 02

  I'm sure it was beautiful.

• 34:16Speaker 01

  And the living's easy.

• 34:17Speaker 03

  Thank you. Oh, god.

• 34:19Speaker 01

  And what did they say?

• 34:20Speaker 03

  He said, um, oh, there's something, first of all, they clearly Google everyone who they brought in, because he knew that I was a comedian. I purposely wasn't telling them that, because I wanted them to take me seriously as a singer. He was like, I see you do, um, you do comedy. He said, you've got a great voice. It's not a pop voice. That's what he said. He says it's a Broadway voice.

• 34:42Speaker 02

  Wow.

• 34:43Speaker 03

  So that was nice. And I said, I will take the note. But then Lang made it on the final cut of Idol.

• 34:48Speaker 01

  So she got in front of Paula Simon and Randy and whipped out that little horse?

• 34:52Speaker 03

  No, they cut it from just the, I think either the original, the day after audition, and she was a teacher at the time, and I don't need to tell you that the kids went bizarre.

• 35:01Speaker 02

  Well, this Dwayne Reed was selling a little horses? That's interesting.

• 35:05Speaker 01

  Bring that back.

• 35:06Speaker 03

  Yeah. You know my favorite summer bop, Walgreens by Dwayne Reed? Every time I see those signs, I'm like, okay.

• 35:12Speaker 02

  I miss them so much. It just felt like they were everywhere.

• 35:17Speaker 01

  I have Dwayne Reed memories because, and.

• 35:21Speaker 02

  An important third space.

• 35:22Speaker 01

  Best Dwayne Reed memory.

• 35:23Speaker 03

  I agree.

• 35:23Speaker 01

  Do you guys have a best Dwayne Reed memory you can share? Because I can go first.

• 35:27Speaker 03

  You just, I have one.

• 35:29Speaker 01

  When I saw Natalie Portman.

• 35:30Speaker 03

  Wow.

• 35:31Speaker 02

  Oh, that's amazing.

• 35:32Speaker 01

  Can I say? She is small.

• 35:35Speaker 03

  I've seen her, and she's little.

• 35:36Speaker 01

  Like, and she was, here's the deal, I actually went to Dwayne Reed one time when I was really sick, because I had to wrench myself out of bed and go down there and get some like fluids and stuff. So I'm sick, it's a snowstorm in New York.

• 35:49Speaker 02

  Oh.

• 35:50Speaker 01

  And I'm like bundled up, like shivering, shaking, shivering. I get online at the Dwayne Reed, I'm like, you know, I'm sort of like breaking a sweat, like really tough.

• 36:01Speaker 03

  Secret garden, wooden wheelchair, yeah.

• 36:03Speaker 01

  I turn next to me, literally Natalie Portman, about six months after Black Swan, and she was buying whatever, and I was just like, you can't get her sex, she's a new mom.

• 36:11Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 36:11Speaker 01

  So I just stood at like, honestly, like, this is way in advance, I was doing social distancing.

• 36:17Speaker 03

  Oh, wow, good for you.

• 36:19Speaker 01

  That's how I knew to plan social distancing when this all happened.

• 36:21Speaker 03

  Good for you. Incredible stuff.

• 36:23Speaker 01

  Yeah, I said, I have this thing, it's called social distancing.

• 36:27Speaker 03

  So I. You saved New York.

• 36:29Speaker 01

  Yeah, well, at least Natalie Portman that day.

• 36:31Speaker 03

  I hope she hears this.

• 36:33Speaker 01

  I don't know.

• 36:34Speaker 02

  I think she's, I think she's like cut off all media after this whole Life of M thing.

• 36:38Speaker 03

  Oh, you think so?

• 36:39Speaker 02

  That Rachel Cusk book.

• 36:40Speaker 03

  She is teeny, teeny tiny. And you know, I'm a big girl. Do you know that I kicked a child at the outlets by accident? I haven't told anyone this. I haven't even talked about this on my show.

• 36:47Speaker 01

  At the outlets?

• 36:48Speaker 03

  By accident.

• 36:49Speaker 02

  Which outlets?

• 36:50Speaker 03

  In Europe. And I was, I was riding high. Like, I was by myself.

• 36:56Speaker 01

  Well, you were in Europe.

• 36:56Speaker 03

  Beaming, I was in Europe, I love the outlets, it's my museum. I don't go to museums anymore, I just go to like, to see what the merch is, I don't even buy anything.

• 37:02Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 37:03Speaker 03

  And I was walking out of a store, it was a gorgeous day, and I was like, I remember literally being like shaking my head. No, I'm not kidding that it was in a moment where I was truly feeling happy. I remember thinking, I'm so happy. And a little kid, a Portman-hided child.

• 37:18Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 37:19Speaker 03

  Came darting, I didn't see it, obviously, because I'm, you know, Cloverfield, I didn't know.

• 37:23Speaker 02

  You were shaking your hair to the sky.

• 37:25Speaker 03

  This, and I kicked that kid so hard. I kicked a kid, I punted a child, it wasn't even like, I like tripped him. I.

• 37:32Speaker 01

  Did it scream?

• 37:34Speaker 02

  Did it?

• 37:34Speaker 03

  It hurt this kid so much that it didn't immediately scream. It was like five, four, like, the pain had to register. It was fine, and then I stopped, they didn't speak English, and I was like, you know, I obviously felt terrible. I'm not, I'm saying that I'm a bad person, that's what I'm saying, it was an accident.

• 37:51Speaker 01

  You want to take accountability.

• 37:52Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah. And then I was like, oh my god, and I was like, can I, and they just looked at me, and I was like, I'm gonna go. And I just walked away. I didn't know what to do, I wasn't gonna help the kid, I mean, what can I do?

• 38:02Speaker 01

  And then you just heard in the back, American woman!

• 38:06Speaker 03

  She's a brick house.

• 38:10Speaker 03

  I got on my chopper, I was like, peace, rode away.

• 38:13Speaker 02

  Wait, I have one story, it's not at a Dwayne Reed, although I do have a Dwayne Reed story.

• 38:16Speaker 03

  Mm-hmm.

• 38:16Speaker 02

  But I'll, I'll share two quick stories. But first, I'll share the story of me really hurting someone.

• 38:22Speaker 03

  Oh, tell me.

• 38:24Speaker 02

  SoulCycle circa 2016. I have the lot, you remember how we, like, there's lockers?

• 38:30Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 38:31Speaker 02

  Everyone's just kind of swapping out their shoes. Mine is in the second row, and then this woman in front of me had a locker the row below me, and she, she was betting down, getting her stuff, and then her head was right below my locker as the door was open.

• 38:46Speaker 03

  Oh, no.

• 38:48Speaker 02

  Hits her head.

• 38:49Speaker 03

  Oh, that hurts.

• 38:50Speaker 02

  It hurt so much, and she turned back, and I was like, I'm so sorry, although.

• 38:55Speaker 03

  That wasn't your fault.

• 38:56Speaker 02

  I don't know, it's, that's a gray area.

• 38:59Speaker 03

  It's an accident. Do you think I meant to do that?

• 39:01Speaker 02

  No, absolutely. Accidents are so unfortunate.

• 39:04Speaker 01

  Definitionally, those are both accidents.

• 39:06Speaker 02

  Yes, but I just, it just, on a soul level, I was like, I've, I've been a part of this woman's great pain.

• 39:13Speaker 03

  That's the thing, I, a woman fell on me at Italy the other day in Midtown.

• 39:17Speaker 01

  This is true. This is true.

• 39:24Speaker 03

  I swear. I would have fell on me and Italy.

• 39:27Speaker 01

  Someone spilled bolognese sauce.

• 39:31Speaker 03

  And she hurt me.

• 39:32Speaker 01

  She hurt you?

• 39:33Speaker 03

  She like her, her finger bones, she must have been from Spain. I don't know. She had pointy finger bones.

• 39:39Speaker 01

  She must have been from Spain.

• 39:40Speaker 03

  I actually thought I was gonna bruise. This was like two days ago.

• 39:42Speaker 01

  It was Penelope Cruz.

• 39:45Speaker 02

  She must have been from Spain.

• 39:47Speaker 03

  No, cuz she was a pretty lady, probably like in her 40s or 50s. And she-

• 39:51Speaker 01

  Clearly from Spain.

• 39:52Speaker 03

  All, I was like paying for something and she, I get the apricot jam croissants. They're delicious.

• 39:56Speaker 02

  Delicious.

• 39:57Speaker 03

  And she fell, and the thing is like her fingers like stabbed my wrist, but it happened, so it really hurt. Like I was so caught off guard by it.

• 40:04Speaker 01

  You said, "Hey."

• 40:05Speaker 03

  I went, "Ah," and then she was like, and she slipped and she pointed, she was wearing cowboy boots. Come on now, it's, whatever.

• 40:11Speaker 01

  Spain.

• 40:12Speaker 03

  Spain, that's the thing. And then, but she was apologetic, but kinda like me with that kid. And then she walked away. I was still in pain. It's like, what is she gonna do? Get me ice? She has to go, I get it.

• 40:20Speaker 01

  Like, in, in an accident, you kinda all just have to walk away sometimes.

• 40:25Speaker 03

  Yeah, gosh.

• 40:27Speaker 02

  I, I think, but, okay. No, no, no.

• 40:30Speaker 01

  What's your Dwayne Reed memory?

• 40:31Speaker 02

  Oh, Dwayne Reed memory. My first Halloween in New York City, Halloween 2008.

• 40:37Speaker 02

  I am walking across, I'm walking down 14th Street West towards Union Square. I, I hit a crosswalk. I told you this story before. A guy stops me and goes, "Hey, you stepped on my glasses, man." Classic scam. I was two months into the city or whatever. I was like, "Um, I don't think I did, but, um, have a good day." And then I was just, and then he just kept following me and following me and following me. He was like, "I need these to see," like, just the classic, that old chestnut. Until finally I acquiesced and I was like, "Okay, well, I can go to the ATM. I don't have cash in me, but I'll go to the ATM, but I only have $17 in my account. So I have to call my dad so he can like deposit at least like $5." And then, I think he felt bad for me, so that at the, the Dwayne Reed at the ATM,

• 41:22Speaker 02

  it was Halloween, it was the day of the Halloween parade. He goes, so we're just, we're just passing time. He goes, "So, um, what do you got going on the rest of your day?"

• 41:29Speaker 03

  Oh, that's nice.

• 41:30Speaker 02

  And then I was like, "Um, I guess I'll, I guess I was thinking of going to the parade." And then we just like made small talk while he was actively scamming me.

• 41:39Speaker 03

  And you got the money out for him?

• 41:40Speaker 02

  I got the money out for him.

• 41:41Speaker 03

  20 bucks?

• 41:42Speaker 02

  20 bucks.

• 41:42Speaker 03

  Wow, okay, it's a good scam. It's only 20 bucks.

• 41:45Speaker 01

  That was Jen Shaw.

• 41:45Speaker 02

  That was Jen Shaw.

• 41:47Speaker 03

  What about her Elizabeth Holmes?

• 41:48Speaker 02

  Wait, no, you, we need your take on the Elizabeth Holmes on, you can see everything.

• 41:52Speaker 01

  Why is she the best actress in America?

• 41:54Speaker 03

  I have to say something about her. If Dopey, the dwarf, am I allowed to say this, well, dwarves, yeah?

• 42:00Speaker 01

  Yeah, she was in jail.

• 42:02Speaker 03

  Was a woman with hair.

• 42:04Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 42:04Speaker 03

  It, the face is carved.

• 42:06Speaker 02

  It's cartoon.

• 42:07Speaker 03

  Cartoon. There is something about the face that makes my blood go cold. And I don't know what it is, and the, the lack of blinking, also the color blue of her eyes.

• 42:17Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's like kinda shocking.

• 42:18Speaker 03

  Shocking.

• 42:19Speaker 01

  I literally thought, when I first saw the trailer for the new documentary, I thought that had to be some streep daughter varietal. I was like, which streep daughter is this? I was like, which streep daughter varietal is this? Cuz now I'm really familiar with Grace Gomer varietal from The Love Story.

• 42:34Speaker 03

  Oh, yes.

• 42:35Speaker 01

  Cuz I thought she turned the performance of the gods.

• 42:37Speaker 03

  She was great.

• 42:38Speaker 01

  But I thought, is this perhaps Louisa or Mamie?

• 42:41Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 42:42Speaker 01

  And then I realized it was Elizabeth Holmes, not in a sort of acting environment. This was a documentary with Nathan Fielder, who I can't decide if I trust enough to go with this as like something he, he's not pulling the strings on.

• 42:58Speaker 02

  Like Matt saying, like, is this a part of another longer, longer thing?

• 43:03Speaker 01

  Like him being like, "I still don't know what I experienced," I think to me is a little bit of a tell. Because why would he deconstruct his own lore as someone that you can, that you don't know what to impose on? You know what I mean? Why would he give up to the audience, "I'm not in control of this thing?" Unless, you know what I mean?

• 43:22Speaker 02

  He's always in control.

• 43:23Speaker 03

  Yes, and I think he's operating, obviously, on such a high level, as are the people he works with, that like-

• 43:28Speaker 01

  Right.

• 43:29Speaker 03

  Cuz he's a genius, of course, but, of course, but, um-

• 43:33Speaker 01

  Well, he's a genius, of course.

• 43:35Speaker 03

  I'm so hot, by the way. I keep, this, my armpits are glued to my sides because I know it's giving pit.

• 43:42Speaker 01

  Do you wanna show us? Do you wanna show us? We'll tell you.

• 43:46Speaker 03

  It's Burt Pitt.

• 43:47Speaker 01

  Can I, can I see?

• 43:48Speaker 02

  I don't see anything.

• 43:48Speaker 03

  Nothing?

• 43:49Speaker 01

  I don't think it's a thing.

• 43:50Speaker 03

  I'm actually in shock. Leave it in.

• 43:52Speaker 02

  Leave it in.

• 43:53Speaker 03

  Leave it in. Okay, now I can really let loose.

• 43:55Speaker 01

  Yeah, let loose.

• 43:56Speaker 03

  This keeps popping open. I can't leave it.

• 43:58Speaker 02

  We're never planning.

• 44:00Speaker 03

  Okay, thanks, that's nice. Um, I, I love him, but I agree with you that we have no idea. First of all, it's almost three hours long. I'm like, what is this? The Odyssey, Malcolm X? I mean, it's long. There are only a certain amount of movies I allow to be that long.

• 44:13Speaker 01

  Right.

• 44:13Speaker 03

  Two I just mentioned.

• 44:14Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 44:15Speaker 03

  Uh, Shindys, Amistad, the Spielberg movies, basically.

• 44:19Speaker 02

  Called Shindys?

• 44:20Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah. Shindy Brady. That's my, that's my resident.

• 44:25Speaker 01

  Shindy Brady.

• 44:26Speaker 03

  Shindy Brady. We love him.

• 44:28Speaker 01

  Shindy Brady.

• 44:30Speaker 03

  Have you seen Liam Neeson naked, by the way, recently? No, I don't have that. The way that I just busted that question.

• 44:34Speaker 01

  Not recently, but is it, it's like an eight foot cock, right?

• 44:38Speaker 03

  Beyond big. My mother saw him on some play where he got fully naked. When you bring up Liam Neeson to her, literally her eyes, she goes full like, I, um, full Gandalf the Grey, you know, when he like flashes back in Lord of the Rings? I think I said that right.

• 44:50Speaker 01

  Oh?

• 44:50Speaker 03

  Yeah. So then she figures it out and I'm like, "Ma." But yeah, he's very, very, uh, well off and also, but he's fit as shit. He's gotta be 85.

• 45:01Speaker 02

  Sure.

• 45:01Speaker 03

  Oh my God, you should, you have to look it up. Okay, back to Elizabeth. The movie's gonna be great. I trust him in the sense that we'll be entertained. That's all we can ask. I mean, I'm not going in, to be honest, I don't care that much about her. Like, I watched the documentary. I just don't, I know she swindled people. I'm not as passionate, I think, about Elizabeth Holmes as many are, maybe because she freaks me out so much.

• 45:22Speaker 02

  Of course. I was saying to Matt, though, that I do think she is like officially like a great, not a great in like a good, but a great in terms of like a big American figure now. In like American history, I think she's like, there's, she's, we'll be talking about her for as long as this country still exists.

• 45:41Speaker 03

  Where do you put her against Amanda Knox?

• 45:44Speaker 02

  I think, well, this is about capitalism, this is about, you know, startup, sort of this-

• 45:49Speaker 01

  Entrepreneurship.

• 45:50Speaker 02

  Entrepreneurship, about like, you know-

• 45:52Speaker 01

  Marketing.

• 45:53Speaker 02

  Tech culture, technocracy. It's about, it's about all of this. But the movie, I guess, is about is her like, even as she's about to go to prison, still putting out there that like, this company, this idea works and it will, I will bring it into being.

• 46:07Speaker 03

  I know.

• 46:07Speaker 02

  Which is so interesting to me and I'm like, this is, and, and it's just a, we get to like, maybe it's because she's a woman, we get, but we get to like freeze her in amber culturally and study her like this, the way we can't do it with like Elon or Sam Altman or whatever, you know what I mean?

• 46:23Speaker 01

  She's very memorable as a character.

• 46:26Speaker 03

  Burned into your memory, yeah.

• 46:27Speaker 01

  And I also think there's so many things about her which are, you know, she, didn't she, wasn't she obsessed with Steve Jobs?

• 46:33Speaker 02

  Yes, of course.

• 46:33Speaker 01

  So she literally branded herself in someone's image and then she had extra, extra signifiers, so it was, and her voice.

• 46:41Speaker 03

  The turtleneck. I love a turtleneck.

• 46:42Speaker 02

  Of course. I can't do it.

• 46:44Speaker 03

  Why?

• 46:44Speaker 02

  You got a gorgeous neck, that's why you can do it.

• 46:46Speaker 03

  I've, I, well, I'm long everywhere, but, um, I could see you in a nice turt, what?

• 46:51Speaker 01

  Can I say something about a turtleneck?

• 46:52Speaker 03

  No.

• 46:53Speaker 02

  What do you mean?

• 46:55Speaker 03

  If you would've said that about me, I'm like, I'm leaving. Meanwhile, I'm like, me, long everywhere. What were you gonna say?

• 47:00Speaker 01

  Turtlenecks are too warm.

• 47:01Speaker 03

  I love how he looks. I'm, to me, I get it. It's, I love a man in a turtleneck. I think they flatter everybody. I can't, I could see you looking great in one.

• 47:08Speaker 02

  A mock neck I can do, something halfway there.

• 47:10Speaker 03

  Oh, see, mock necks on me make me look awful.

• 47:13Speaker 02

  Well, no, I've, see, it's grass is always greener. I am jealous of, of your neck.

• 47:17Speaker 03

  Thank you, that's so sweet.

• 47:19Speaker 01

  The second I put a turtleneck on, it's sketch comedy. It's like, oh, there's the goose. I look like I need to be playing a goose.

• 47:27Speaker 03

  My favorite bird. Do you know there's a duck who lives at the Taco Bell at Sawgrass Mills, the outlet mall in Miami?

• 47:33Speaker 02

  We did not know.

• 47:34Speaker 03

  There, it's on a lake. It's the most beautiful Taco Bell in the world, by the way. It should be listed in like-

• 47:38Speaker 01

  What makes it so beautiful?

• 47:39Speaker 03

  Conde Nast should have a list.

• 47:40Speaker 01

  Just cuz it's on a lake.

• 47:41Speaker 03

  It's on a lake. I mean, you're leaving the outlet. Technically, this isn't Broward, not Miami, but South Florida.

• 47:45Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 47:45Speaker 03

  You leave, are we, we're good. Cuz I have stories to tell. I thought we were just starting.

• 47:49Speaker 02

  My front desk keeps calling. I don't know why. Go, go ahead.

• 47:52Speaker 03

  I thought we were just starting. No, look at it.

• 47:53Speaker 01

  We've just begun. Welcome.

• 47:55Speaker 02

  What was the culture that made you say "culture" for you? Wait, tell us about this duck.

• 48:00Speaker 03

  No, so listen, so, uh, there, there's a family of ducks that lives on this Taco Bell lake. And there's one, this is real, there is, if you know the duck, please, uh, comment, I don't know.

• 48:10Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 48:11Speaker 03

  But right before, I have video, wait, where's my phone? I have video, I'll show you after.

• 48:14Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 48:14Speaker 03

  There is a duck, I assume it's the same one, who lays her eggs next to the window where you pick your food up. And it's the sweetest, I literally wanna adopt to this. I love ducks.

• 48:24Speaker 01

  She's begging for them to let, help, let her help cook. She's like, "Take these eggs, I'm giving you my kids." She's like, "Cook my kids."

• 48:32Speaker 03

  I don't think any of her babies are born. I think she's give, I think she's got some issues. I'm not laughing, she's so cute.

• 48:37Speaker 01

  She's mentally ill. She's like, "Kill my kids."

• 48:40Speaker 03

  She's children of ducks. Yes.

• 48:42Speaker 01

  She wants them to eat her kids.

• 48:44Speaker 03

  I know. She's, you know, you're ruining this experience for me cuz I love that duck. And she's so cute. And then this happens every time I go. I drive through in the Dada Lac. My dad's like 20-year-old Cadillac.

• 48:54Speaker 02

  I love that.

• 48:54Speaker 03

  And she's there, so of course I stop. I film, you know, I'm like, "Oh my God," and I'm like, "Hi, baby," and you know, whatever.

• 49:01Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 49:01Speaker 03

  And then I drive to the window, excited to bond with the person over the duck. Like, every time, I'm like,

• 49:06Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 49:07Speaker 03

  "What a star." Like, look at her.

• 49:08Speaker 01

  Can you believe?

• 49:09Speaker 03

  Can you believe? And they're like, "What?" And I'm like, "You got a duck living right here. It's always here." They're like, "Huh?" I'm like, "You don't know about it? It's here."

• 49:16Speaker 01

  They're like, "Listen, lady, here at Taco Bell Lake, we don't look outside. This is a nice establishment."

• 49:22Speaker 03

  I guess I have questions about-

• 49:23Speaker 01

  This is a nice place, okay?

• 49:24Speaker 03

  Taco Bell Lake.

• 49:25Speaker 02

  Where's the, where's the drive-through window in relation to the lake?

• 49:28Speaker 03

  The window looks out onto the lake, so like, the thing is here.

• 49:31Speaker 01

  So you can sit there with your Taco Bell, like-

• 49:33Speaker 03

  And ponder.

• 49:34Speaker 01

  Two cheese quesadillas and sort of look out and-

• 49:36Speaker 03

  Yes, there's no bench there. It's just for ducks. Listen, if you, if a gun was held to my head last night and you said, "What are you gonna talk about with the boys tomorrow?" I'd be like, "Probably the Taco Bell duck."

• 49:44Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 49:46Speaker 03

  Well, we've talked about nothing.

• 49:47Speaker 01

  Well, the title of that is "The View from Taco Bell Lake."

• 49:49Speaker 03

  Oh, it's beautiful. Horror movie.

• 49:51Speaker 02

  Horror movie.

• 49:52Speaker 03

  Joy climbs out of the lake. I'm like, "Okay, God bless her."

• 49:55Speaker 01

  It's like, is it, is it, is it Too Many Hosts?

• 49:57Speaker 02

  Too Many Hosts. I like Too Many Hosts.

• 49:59Speaker 03

  I really like it.

• 50:00Speaker 02

  I think that's the show, this is, this is the, the backdoor pilot.

• 50:04Speaker 01

  This ad is sponsored by Vive Healthcare.

• 50:07Speaker 02

  Time for some prep wisdom.

• 50:08Speaker 01

  But first, some common sense, people. Everyone is different. Every one. Yes, even you. Yes, even your situationship.

• 50:15Speaker 02

  Especially your situationship. And just like people, injectable prep options, not all the same.

• 50:21Speaker 01

  That's why you need to talk to your doctor and know what to ask. So here's some prep wisdom.

• 50:25Speaker 02

  Did you know there's more to consider about long-acting injectable prep options than how often you get it? Also, why you want to take it matters. Your lifestyle matters, your routine, your chaos level, your I might forget my own birthday energy. All of it counts.

• 50:38Speaker 01

  Basically, talk to your doctor. Have the conversation, ask the questions, be a little nosy about your own health. It's allowed, encouraged even. Okay, did you write all that down?

• 50:47Speaker 02

  No?

• 50:48Speaker 01

  Don't worry.

• 50:48Speaker 02

  Just head to getprepwisdom.com to learn what to ask your doctor. That's getprepwisdom.com.

• 50:54Speaker 01

  You probably think dressing well takes lots of money or lots of time spent digging through thrift stores.

• 50:59Speaker 02

  Well, not to be rude, but you're wrong. So dead wrong. And honestly, we're happy for you because now we get to tell you about Depop.

• 51:08Speaker 01

  You can find the fashion you love for less on Depop.

• 51:11Speaker 02

  And it doesn't matter what you're into. Leopard print, they've got it. Not into leopard print? First of all, why? But fine, they've got that too, not leopard print. Basically, whatever your particular fashion situation is, Depop has entered the chat.

• 51:26Speaker 01

  We're talking over 600,000 daily listings, including celebrity and stylist shop drops.

• 51:31Speaker 02

  That's a lot of listings. And somehow, it gets better. You can sell the stuff you no longer wear and make money. Then use that money to buy things you do want to wear.

• 51:40Speaker 01

  It's a circle, like the circle of life, but for fashion. And since fashion is life for a lot of people, samezies.

• 51:47Speaker 02

  Depop fashion, if it made sense.

• 51:50Speaker 01

  Make money on Depop with no selling fees and find what you want for less.

• 51:55Speaker 02

  Depop, love you.

• 51:57Speaker 01

  Hey, Bowen, is it just me or does it feel like nothing is actually what it says it is anymore?

• 52:01Speaker 02

  Yeah, like when you order chicken fingers, you don't get fingers, you get mystery nuggets.

• 52:06Speaker 01

  Exactly. Well, except hotels.com.

• 52:09Speaker 02

  I was gonna say hotels.com because they do hotels.

• 52:12Speaker 01

  Refreshing.

• 52:13Speaker 02

  And when booked as a member, rewards are earned every stay, not points that disappear, rewards that work like cash and can actually be used.

• 52:19Speaker 01

  So the name checks out and the perks do too.

• 52:22Speaker 02

  Yep, members can get up to 20% off tons of hotels with no blackout dates, just works with real travel.

• 52:29Speaker 01

  Okay, that tracks.

• 52:30Speaker 02

  Hotels.com, it's all in the name.

• 52:32Speaker 01

  Ever wondered how to cruise? And I'm not talking about boats. Season four of Sniffy's Cruising Confessions is finally here and it's hotter, smarter, and spicier than ever.

• 52:41Speaker 02

  Hosts Gabe Gonzalez and Chris Patterson-Rasso know their stuff. And this year, they're not afraid to get a little hands-on.

• 52:46Speaker 01

  They're serving up jaw-dropping, insightful, and seriously hilarious conversations with some of the boldest voices in the queer community, from celebrities and comedians to kinksters and cruising pros.

• 52:56Speaker 02

  This season's all about challenging stereotypes, celebrating sex positivity, and keeping things delightfully unfiltered. Because intimacy doesn't always look like candlelight and roses. Sometimes it's spontaneous, curious, and a little unexpected.

• 53:10Speaker 01

  Get ready for deep dives into the history of cruising, trending gay cosmetic procedures, dispatches from Atlanta to Puerto Rico, how OnlyFans is reshaping adult content, and so much more.

• 53:21Speaker 02

  So if you're feeling curious, maybe a little bold, consider this your official invitation to push play.

• 53:25Speaker 01

  Listen to Sniffy's Cruising Confessions now on the iHeartRadio app, wherever you get your podcasts.

• 53:31Speaker 02

  New episodes every Tuesday, sponsored by Healthy Sexual from Gilead Sciences. What are your thoughts on the Beatles screenshots of the movie?

• 53:38Speaker 01

  Yeah, what do you think of those Beatles?

• 53:39Speaker 03

  It's funny, we were talking about bad wigs earlier.

• 53:41Speaker 02

  Yes, that's why I want to bring it up.

• 53:42Speaker 03

  Yeah, the wigs have to be locked in. I mean, if they're not...

• 53:46Speaker 02

  It doesn't seem like they are.

• 53:47Speaker 03

  I know. We're gonna see how it is.

• 53:48Speaker 02

  Maybe they'll do reshoots because of this backlash, but because of this response.

• 53:52Speaker 03

  Can I be honest? I don't think they can make a good Beatles movie.

• 53:55Speaker 01

  Well, they're doing four.

• 53:57Speaker 02

  Because they filmed everything. And so we've seen all the, we've seen like, whatever, like Don't Let Me Down or whatever, like all these docs. Like, there's so much footage of them. It's like, this is not gonna scratch the itch that I have in terms of narrativizing their story because it's like, I've seen it.

• 54:13Speaker 01

  I think it could be good, but I will say, I think the ones that are gonna be better are the George and Ringo ones.

• 54:19Speaker 03

  I see where you're coming from because also Ringo is obviously the funniest one. Ringo is the one that I connect with the most out of the Beatles.

• 54:26Speaker 02

  Peace and love, peace and love.

• 54:27Speaker 03

  Yes, and he's so cute. He's a tiny guy, I love that. You know, he's got a cute thing happening there. The movie, the problem is is that the outfits are just all Halloween. Like, it's impossible to put them out there. Everything about them has been, like the little John Lennon glasses, if I see someone in those, I'm like, ha, ha, ha. And they're like, no, that's, those are my glasses. I'm like, those aren't prop glasses.

• 54:46Speaker 02

  And he talks like this. He's like, gonna go visit the Taco Bell duck?

• 54:50Speaker 03

  That was good.

• 54:51Speaker 01

  That was really good.

• 54:53Speaker 03

  Wait, we have someone from Liverpool. What do you think? He quit. I'm like, wait.

• 54:57Speaker 02

  Liverpool?

• 54:57Speaker 03

  Very close. I'll take it.

• 54:59Speaker 02

  Liverpool is Scouse. I've seen it.

• 55:02Speaker 03

  Scouse, I love Scouse. Have you seen the cat that meows in Scouse? It's like...

• 55:05Speaker 02

  The cat that meows in Scouse.

• 55:08Speaker 03

  I can't, this I really can't do, this is gonna break my brain.

• 55:10Speaker 01

  Do it, do it.

• 55:11Speaker 03

  This is gonna be so bad, I hate this because now it's like, I'm on the spot.

• 55:14Speaker 01

  Well, we love this.

• 55:15Speaker 02

  Mew.

• 55:15Speaker 03

  Brrrr. It sounds like Scouse. That was good. Yeah, that was...

• 55:23Speaker 01

  I don't do anything good.

• 55:24Speaker 02

  Have you seen that little puppy that goes, that barks and goes, eh, Elmo, Elmo? The dog that tells the puppy that says Elmo.

• 55:32Speaker 01

  There's a puppy that says Elmo?

• 55:33Speaker 02

  That says Elmo, and it's really important to me.

• 55:35Speaker 03

  I haven't seen it.

• 55:36Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 55:37Speaker 03

  God damn.

• 55:38Speaker 02

  Wait, we need to do, we as a culture need to do what Michelle just did, which is just emphatically go, no, I haven't seen that.

• 55:47Speaker 03

  Yeah. I wish. My entire algorithm is so mentally ill. It's genuinely, it's like orangutans and hats, it's like a lot of birds, what else? And then it's like, it's a really, I have a really twisted algorithm. I love it, by the way.

• 56:02Speaker 01

  What's the third thing?

• 56:03Speaker 03

  I want to get my phone and like pull it up to prove, obviously it's animals, it's all animals. It's some like rugby and some, yeah, a bit of that. And some tennis, because I love tennis, a bit of that. But it's just like, yeah, it's...

• 56:15Speaker 01

  What do you think of New York, Carol being back?

• 56:17Speaker 03

  I'm happy about that.

• 56:18Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 56:18Speaker 03

  I know Carol a little bit, she's a nice lady.

• 56:20Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 56:21Speaker 03

  Intelligent. You know, my whole thing with these shows, they need a smart one. You can't have, you gotta have someone who's street smart also and someone who's funny. You must. And the issue with New York was that there was no one funny on it. Like funny-ish, but not...

• 56:33Speaker 02

  Si thought she was, I think.

• 56:35Speaker 03

  Giselle was like, I mean...

• 56:37Speaker 01

  I think Giselle's funny.

• 56:38Speaker 03

  Yeah, but not, you need someone who's like with it.

• 56:41Speaker 02

  With a point of view.

• 56:42Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 56:42Speaker 02

  On their humor.

• 56:44Speaker 03

  So I'm hoping Carol brings that, but I'm happy she's back.

• 56:46Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 56:46Speaker 03

  I like that we're like, Nini's back, I like that we're bringing in the OGs.

• 56:50Speaker 02

  Yeah, I, so we were, so Matt's like, oh my god, are you watching Ultimate Girls Trip? And I was like, you know, I just, and I, I'm not conceding that she has this effect on me, but it's like when Giselle shows up on my screen, I just...

• 57:01Speaker 03

  Really? That actually...

• 57:03Speaker 01

  I'm excited for Potomac.

• 57:05Speaker 03

  I love Giselle, I'm actually shocked by that.

• 57:07Speaker 01

  There was a moment where it got a little too nasty between Giselle and Candace.

• 57:15Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 57:16Speaker 01

  And we're big Candace fans.

• 57:18Speaker 02

  And, and the way that Giselle acts around my favorite, which is Stacy Rush.

• 57:24Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah.

• 57:25Speaker 01

  She tends to be the op of our fans, of our favorites.

• 57:28Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 57:28Speaker 01

  But I will say this, the trailer came back. I'm ready for Robin Dixon.

• 57:34Speaker 03

  Oh, me too. I was mad at her, I love Robin, by the way.

• 57:36Speaker 01

  Because I don't think, see, I don't love Robin, but, and I actually have this problem with people that say like, get them off my screen, I don't like them. Guys, we need people that we don't all like on the show. Like, for example, Giselle and Robin are not my favorites. I'm happy they'll be there because I think that's Potomac.

• 57:54Speaker 03

  I like them, I love Karen. My thing with Giselle is this, like I'm saying, you need someone who's funny and you need someone who's smart. She also happens to be beautiful, so you have really...

• 58:04Speaker 02

  Karen is beauty, humor, there's a darkness there, unfortunately.

• 58:08Speaker 03

  Don't get me wrong, I do too, but I just...

• 58:10Speaker 01

  I love Karen.

• 58:11Speaker 03

  I love Karen. Some of these housewives become a little too big in their heads and then they completely fall off.

• 58:17Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 58:18Speaker 03

  Some of the Salt Lake girls, it's happened to, where they...

• 58:21Speaker 01

  I didn't like what I saw on the Ultimate Girls Trip.

• 58:23Speaker 03

  I have to be honest, I've only seen a little bit of it because I have just been too busy working. But...

• 58:29Speaker 01

  People Puzzler has, needs its viewers.

• 58:31Speaker 03

  I've been busy puzzling.

• 58:32Speaker 01

  You're doing the Vulture recaps for People Puzzler.

• 58:34Speaker 03

  I'm doing the PP Puzzy, the recaps.

• 58:38Speaker 01

  You are the Brian Moyle enough People Puzzler.

• 58:40Speaker 03

  I'm the PP Puzzy girl, that's what they call me everywhere I go.

• 58:43Speaker 02

  Are you the PP Puzzy? And you're taking Spanish at Barnard?

• 58:45Speaker 03

  I'm taking Spanish at Barnard. Do you know that I actually went back to take, because I was like, this is shameful, I gotta get my diploma. So I signed up years later for like 10 grand at Columbia to take fourth semester Spanish. I went twice, both times. I mean, it was genuinely like, whatever the reverse of A Beautiful Mind is, like, it was like the reverse. Like, I was like seeing, like, like everything was blank, I saw like no letters.

• 59:06Speaker 01

  You're just seeing ducks.

• 59:07Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 59:10Speaker 01

  Michelle, there's no duck.

• 59:13Speaker 03

  Shapes are like, this is a language. It was a mess. Exactly.

• 59:16Speaker 01

  There's no duck, hon.

• 59:17Speaker 03

  And yeah, and so, and I lost that money and I never got my money. Okay.

• 59:21Speaker 01

  Robin Dixon, I think, I think it's, it'll be good to have her back when she's, I think she was.

• 59:26Speaker 03

  A good foil for Gisele. My point is though, is that those girls, and this is why I love Potomac. To me, they have it all. They have the glamour. They've got the beauty.

• 59:34Speaker 01

  The jokes.

• 59:35Speaker 03

  The jokes. And that is why it is, in my opinion, the best of the Housewives, and it always has been.

• 59:39Speaker 02

  I used to have that opinion for sure.

• 59:40Speaker 03

  And great fights. They have some good, remember Monique? Every time there's a new housewife coming on, people go, Michelle, what do you think? And I'm like, her? Obsessed. Love her so much, blah, blah, blah. And then a week later, they find her swastika plate like in American Beauty. And I'm like, that's not, that's not on you.

• 59:54Speaker 01

  They all have an American Beauty swastika plate.

• 59:56Speaker 03

  I mean.

• 59:56Speaker 01

  Hiding somewhere.

• 59:58Speaker 03

  That was a big subject of the last people puzzler.

• 1:00:02Speaker 01

  You, you, you were Jenny from Salt Lake's number one fan.

• 1:00:05Speaker 03

  Jenny. Oh my god, Jenny.

• 1:00:08Speaker 01

  I don't know anything about your Jenny fandom.

• 1:00:10Speaker 03

  I like, I have such a bad read on people that every time I'm like, oh my god, she's amazing. She's so funny. And then a week later.

• 1:00:15Speaker 01

  She's the new Supreme. She's got a swastika tattoo.

• 1:00:16Speaker 03

  I find out that she's like insulted my friend. I'm like, well, I can't win. I'm sorry.

• 1:00:19Speaker 02

  She what, my friend?

• 1:00:20Speaker 03

  Insulted.

• 1:00:21Speaker 02

  Rhode Island. What did we think?

• 1:00:22Speaker 03

  I couldn't get into it.

• 1:00:23Speaker 02

  Cause there's, there's, there's a lot of bullies on that.

• 1:00:25Speaker 03

  A lot of bullies. It was rough. For me, it was like, you know, I love Dolores, by the way. I know her or her husband or partner. Huge fan. I'm sure they're great ladies. I don't know. It was too many hosts, too many women.

• 1:00:39Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:00:40Speaker 03

  I watched maybe the first three or four episodes, and I know that I'm in the minority on this and I can own that. I just, for me, I watched that show not to be too stressed. I watched it.

• 1:00:48Speaker 02

  It's stressful.

• 1:00:48Speaker 03

  It was too stressful for me. And I'm like, you know, I got enough shit going on in my life. I can't, so.

• 1:00:52Speaker 01

  It was kind of interesting watching everyone act like it was.

• 1:00:56Speaker 02

  Amazing.

• 1:00:57Speaker 01

  Yeah. Everyone was kind of, I think maybe we were excited because there was something there. And I would agree, there is something there. It actually kind of reminds me of the first season of Salt Lake.

• 1:01:07Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:01:07Speaker 01

  Where it happened and I was like, yeah, there's something here. And now we'll see if it becomes one of the great, you know, Housewives franchises. But to act like it's already there, I think was a little.

• 1:01:20Speaker 02

  Premature.

• 1:01:21Speaker 03

  It was just overwhelming for me a little bit. Um, but I'm also, as I age, everything is overwhelming for me. All sounds, all lights. Like I'm just, I need to, yeah, I need to.

• 1:01:30Speaker 01

  Like people were really standing Rosie at the end of it. And I was like, see, I was like, can we just slow down a second? Because we're standing Rosie.

• 1:01:37Speaker 02

  Well, she was doing the thing where she, she's letting it get to her head a bit where she's like throwing like, what is it?

• 1:01:43Speaker 03

  The receipts at the reunion. I, oh, that really, Slam Pig?

• 1:01:47Speaker 02

  Slam Pig Summer. She like, she like had a thing at three dollar bill. And I'm like, alright, let's go.

• 1:01:50Speaker 03

  As an educated girl, three credit shy, as a certified people puzzler, when I heard the word Slam Pig, I'm like.

• 1:01:56Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:01:56Speaker 03

  I'm, I can't listen to that. Whoever said that even, shame on them, shame on their family. It's such a disgusting phrase.

• 1:02:02Speaker 01

  That's what Rosie said to Kelsey.

• 1:02:04Speaker 03

  Can I say something? It's beneath us. Let's move on. I don't want to talk about it.

• 1:02:08Speaker 01

  It did feel a little bit like, uh, we're, we're, we're really leaning on this thing, which is a very unkind.

• 1:02:14Speaker 03

  Listen, I'm in a, I'm in a sail bodysuit. I'm being cut in half from below. I don't want to talk about her. I want to talk about fun stuff. Wait.

• 1:02:22Speaker 02

  Okay. And this is why Bailing Out Loud is a really nice antidote.

• 1:02:25Speaker 01

  You need to watch Bailing Out Loud.

• 1:02:27Speaker 02

  It's, it's really, it's really interesting. I'm like, I can't take my eyes off the screen because it is just like, I'm, I'm, I'm finding out something new about how this particular person and these people move through the world. Um, and she'll, she'll just say things like, Colin's my boyfriend. I love him very much. Penis. And I would do anything for him. It's like, wow, this is so fascinating.

• 1:02:50Speaker 03

  It stresses me out. I didn't respect her. I respect her.

• 1:02:53Speaker 01

  Kind of Tourette's.

• 1:02:54Speaker 02

  Coprololalia. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:02:56Speaker 01

  Yeah. It's where basically the thing that, the urge is.

• 1:03:00Speaker 02

  Obscene language.

• 1:03:00Speaker 01

  You have, you have an instinct to say something unkind about someone and it's so, you're physically uncomfortable without saying it that you say the most unkind thing. Like her dad comes in.

• 1:03:12Speaker 02

  You're bald, you're bald.

• 1:03:13Speaker 01

  And she's just like, bald bitch. Because she looks at him and her brain thinks bald bitch.

• 1:03:20Speaker 03

  Doesn't that mean she's kind of a shitty person? Like my dad's bald. When he walks in a room, I'm like, not this bald bitch again. I never think that.

• 1:03:25Speaker 01

  If you had coprololalia.

• 1:03:27Speaker 03

  No, you know what I mean? You're thinking the worst things. By the way, I wouldn't last two seconds in this industry because the things that I think about people, oh my god, forget about it.

• 1:03:35Speaker 01

  I kind of wanted to come in here and just like sit down and like start going off on us.

• 1:03:39Speaker 03

  It would. I would be in tears. I'm so sensitive. Are you kidding me? I couldn't take it. I don't want to know what she thinks. Yeah, that show stresses me out. But, um, you're not watching Below Deck. I'm taking it? Or yes? Well, is that too close for you? Let's talk about it.

• 1:03:51Speaker 01

  Here's the thing. I, I will be watching it.

• 1:03:53Speaker 02

  Cause he, he doesn't know if, if he figures into it.

• 1:03:56Speaker 01

  I signed the release.

• 1:03:58Speaker 03

  Were you on camera for it?

• 1:03:59Speaker 01

  I wasn't on camera filming it, but I was on a couple FaceTimes with him. And he did kind of let me know that every time he's went back for confessionals, because you know, they go back to do confessionals, they've asked.

• 1:04:10Speaker 03

  Can I be honest? This is my Flintstones meets the Jetsons. I am so excited.

• 1:04:16Speaker 01

  It's not, here's what I'll say. There's no, no, no, there's no drama on screen as it pertains to me.

• 1:04:22Speaker 02

  Right.

• 1:04:22Speaker 01

  I'll just say, like, we had broken up before he went to go film it. So I think what he describes is like, it, it's like him going back to work and he's just had this breakup. We kind of had a tough little moment and then we ended up getting back together after he filmed.

• 1:04:37Speaker 03

  I see, I see.

• 1:04:38Speaker 01

  So I don't know how that figures into the narrative, but that's, that's where you find Fraser.

• 1:04:44Speaker 03

  Well.

• 1:04:44Speaker 01

  As the, as the season picks up. And everything's great. I think he's lovely.

• 1:04:48Speaker 03

  He's a sweet guy, handsome looking, nice and tall.

• 1:04:50Speaker 02

  I love him.

• 1:04:51Speaker 03

  What I'll say is that this season, he's not on it, nor are you, much to its detriment, but it.

• 1:04:55Speaker 02

  The one that you're watching.

• 1:04:55Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah. Below Deck Med.

• 1:04:57Speaker 01

  Med.

• 1:04:57Speaker 03

  It's really good. See, this is the thing. And I want to give Bravo some nice things because I love them and I don't want it to be like.

• 1:05:03Speaker 01

  I am, I'm eagerly anticipating almost everything they have coming up and I enjoy a lot of it, but you know, it's not fun if you just say everything's great.

• 1:05:10Speaker 03

  A hundred percent agree. Also that, to me, that's what they want. I'm like, they want you to be honest about it because also keeps the bar a little bit high. But Below Deck Med has been great this season. Wow. It is, and you know, I am, I would tell you if it sucked. I wouldn't bring it up. It's really good. It's worth watching. I would say binge it. Yeah, that's all.

• 1:05:26Speaker 02

  From the beginning?

• 1:05:27Speaker 03

  For this season, yeah. It's really, it's.

• 1:05:29Speaker 02

  Can I come in on this? Cause I.

• 1:05:30Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 1:05:31Speaker 02

  That's my style with Bravo now.

• 1:05:33Speaker 03

  Oh my god.

• 1:05:34Speaker 02

  I do. I love, I love what I've seen.

• 1:05:35Speaker 03

  I'll say the only thing that bothers me is that they have relaxed a little bit on the animal guests. I feel like the last animal guest they had was Jules Aaron. And I need to have bigger divas coming in a little bit. They still have like, okay, the food, like the gluten free and like, oh, this doesn't taste good. But I need people to like run them ragged and they're.

• 1:05:52Speaker 01

  Fraser says it's a real nightmare when they're like that. And also the.

• 1:05:56Speaker 03

  Wow, that's the show.

• 1:05:57Speaker 02

  The charters, yeah.

• 1:05:57Speaker 01

  That's the show, but the, it's, it's so funny because it's like ordinarily in their line of work, they would have months to do the stuff that they're being asked to do. Well, it's like, you know, and that's, I guess, the frustrating thing about the show is it's like, it's hard to get work once you do it because people in the industry watch the show and they're like, oh, I saw you make that mistake. And I guess not everyone understands like, right, I would never make that mistake. That's something that was like, you know, produced for television, like anything.

• 1:06:27Speaker 03

  Sucks. Yeah.

• 1:06:28Speaker 01

  You know what I mean? But he's doing great.

• 1:06:30Speaker 03

  Some of these people go on the show and they just like fuck everybody there. They fuck over this person to sleep with this person. I'm just like, are people deranged? I mean, how dumb do you have to be?

• 1:06:40Speaker 02

  Sure.

• 1:06:41Speaker 03

  At sea, that's the thing.

• 1:06:42Speaker 02

  I would, my, I, I would be the biggest fool.

• 1:06:45Speaker 03

  One time I made out with a big cruise ship captain on the boat and, um, it was definitely against protocol. Uh, and it was very.

• 1:06:51Speaker 02

  On a cruise?

• 1:06:51Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:06:52Speaker 02

  Hot.

• 1:06:52Speaker 03

  It was beyond.

• 1:06:53Speaker 01

  What was the name of the cruise?

• 1:06:54Speaker 03

  I can't tell you, but what I will say is that he did get fired. Uh, by the way, he like delayed leaving port to like take me out. Like we were supposed to leave at like four and he was like, we're gonna leave at six. I was like, okay. I felt beautiful. And then, um, I think.

• 1:07:10Speaker 01

  He felt like Rose.

• 1:07:11Speaker 03

  I, literally. By the way, he was hideous, but it doesn't matter. No, he was really an ugly guy, but he was like very charming. And, um, and then.

• 1:07:18Speaker 01

  No, just kidding. He was really ugly. He really was an ugly guy.

• 1:07:23Speaker 03

  Nice man. Brought me like a bag of gifts. Didn't ask me a single question. You know, when someone takes me out and doesn't, in my mind, like doesn't take advantage of.

• 1:07:31Speaker 01

  Really good guy. Nice guy. Brought me a bag of gifts, didn't ask me a single question.

• 1:07:36Speaker 03

  No, I'm telling the truth. And then, um, he brought me gifts, which I, I mean, my parents here, there's one of them was like this, like model of the ship we had been on. And I brought it back for my parents. Cause like, the fuck am I going to do with it? And they're still on display. I'm like, can you take it down?

• 1:07:50Speaker 01

  That's the thing. Some things you're given, just think, like one time someone, someone made me, this was the craziest gift I've ever gotten. Someone made me like a collage that they made of RuPaul.

• 1:08:05Speaker 03

  Out of what?

• 1:08:05Speaker 01

  I just that they made it.

• 1:08:07Speaker 02

  But they wanted to give it to you.

• 1:08:08Speaker 01

  Like, it was like little, little, little piece of paper and like, it was like a beautiful thing. And I was just like, thank you so much. I was like, who do I give this to?

• 1:08:15Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:08:16Speaker 01

  I gave it to my like.

• 1:08:17Speaker 03

  You, you kept it? That's.

• 1:08:18Speaker 01

  I didn't keep it. I gave it away. I forget. But you could give it to your mom. Like if I turned up to my mom and said, mom, look, it's a collage of RuPaul. She'd be like, amazing. I'm putting it in the living room.

• 1:08:29Speaker 03

  Beautiful. No, they love that little ship. And I'm always like, I can't, I can't get away from the ship. But then.

• 1:08:34Speaker 02

  That's the view for your mom when she talks about the view. Look at the view.

• 1:08:36Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:08:38Speaker 03

  Totally out of her mind. Um, she's holding a life of like a ring. I'm like, I don't know what I'm saying. Anyway, the point is I'm on no sleep, by the way. I'm in a boiling hot hotel room. Okay. Uh, nobody got fired six months later because a boat, a cruise ship, not like a boat, like Below Deck. Like a billion dollar cruise ship slammed.

• 1:08:58Speaker 01

  Not a yacht like on Below Deck.

• 1:09:00Speaker 03

  Port slammed. He like, because he caused millions of, yeah. I was like.

• 1:09:04Speaker 01

  Think he was hooking up?

• 1:09:05Speaker 03

  He was hooking up. I said this.

• 1:09:07Speaker 01

  Stop it now.

• 1:09:08Speaker 03

  Motherfucker, but I love it. I honestly was, I was really laughing.

• 1:09:11Speaker 01

  Bitch who loves drama.

• 1:09:12Speaker 03

  We love it. I was like, ha, ha, ha. I really loved it. Yeah. He didn't ask me a single question. Gave me the keys to his house. He was like, if you ever want to stay in my house. I had a home at the time. Now I would be like, where, now where is it? It's like when a pilot is hot or when, when you're like in a mode in a capsule.

• 1:09:27Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 1:09:27Speaker 03

  And someone is in charge especially.

• 1:09:29Speaker 02

  Yep.

• 1:09:30Speaker 03

  Is there anything hotter than that?

• 1:09:31Speaker 02

  No.

• 1:09:31Speaker 03

  Pretty much no.

• 1:09:32Speaker 02

  But their lives are like, we, we did this, we did this little boat to go to Antarctica and like the whole crew there was just like, they were like, well, yeah. And like, you know, this crew is splitting up and we're, this group is going over to Malaysia and this group is going over to some, like Africa. And it's like, okay, like this is, this is like their lives year round. It's just they're on boats and it does something to you.

• 1:09:53Speaker 03

  Wait, you went through Drake's Passage?

• 1:09:55Speaker 02

  We went, we went through Drake's Passage.

• 1:09:56Speaker 03

  I can't believe I'm talking to someone who's done that. Tell me everything. I'm fascinated.

• 1:10:01Speaker 02

  Nine foot waves, which is apparently not, not that tall.

• 1:10:04Speaker 01

  No, he went.

• 1:10:05Speaker 02

  February.

• 1:10:06Speaker 03

  Oh my god.

• 1:10:06Speaker 02

  It was with my parents and was like their bucket list. It's like their bucket list trip.

• 1:10:08Speaker 03

  That's amazing to me.

• 1:10:10Speaker 02

  It was just swaying like nine feet, like basically as tall as a story.

• 1:10:14Speaker 03

  Oh my god.

• 1:10:16Speaker 02

  Rails, they put barf bags every two feet across the rail.

• 1:10:20Speaker 01

  Did you use one?

• 1:10:21Speaker 02

  No.

• 1:10:22Speaker 03

  Good for you.

• 1:10:23Speaker 02

  I did one of those patches, scope patches or whatever.

• 1:10:26Speaker 03

  Yeah, sure, the scope patch.

• 1:10:27Speaker 02

  Whatever, whatever. Not the mouthwash, scopolamine or something, but it's like, but what it does is it steadies your optic nerve so that you start to look cross-eyed. And then I was like, well, you can do nothing. I can't even read. I have to lie down in bed and just stare at the ceiling.

• 1:10:41Speaker 03

  And then what happened when you got there? Were there penguins? What's down there?

• 1:10:43Speaker 02

  Penguins, sea seals, not sea lions, seals. I wanted to see sea lions.

• 1:10:49Speaker 03

  Yeah, fair. They're funnier.

• 1:10:50Speaker 02

  Um, funnier, so much funnier. Uh, whales.

• 1:10:52Speaker 01

  Well, you can find them on Instagram.

• 1:10:53Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:10:53Speaker 02

  Just a bunch of ice flows.

• 1:10:54Speaker 03

  Whales, you saw whales?

• 1:10:55Speaker 02

  Whales, we saw whales.

• 1:10:56Speaker 03

  Biggest fear, after roaches.

• 1:10:57Speaker 02

  Interesting.

• 1:10:58Speaker 01

  Roaches then whales?

• 1:10:59Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:10:59Speaker 02

  Oh, my god, you're-

• 1:11:00Speaker 03

  Shocking. I know. I mean, I'm a people puzzler. I know. I can't help myself.

• 1:11:06Speaker 01

  People puzzler might be titled on that show.

• 1:11:08Speaker 02

  It's people puzzler. It's people puzzler. It's people puzzler. Okay.

• 1:11:11Speaker 03

  Well, you saw whales? That's incredible.

• 1:11:12Speaker 02

  We saw whales and then like these flows were like crashing down. It was incredible.

• 1:11:16Speaker 03

  All the flows. Did you? This is like my hell.

• 1:11:19Speaker 01

  You know who had just gone and then sat in this chair and told us all about it? They connected about it? Nicole Kidman.

• 1:11:25Speaker 03

  Um, no.

• 1:11:27Speaker 01

  And she talked about diarrhea island.

• 1:11:29Speaker 02

  Diarrhea island?

• 1:11:30Speaker 03

  Is that what it's called?

• 1:11:30Speaker 01

  Yeah, where the penguins live. She was like, did you say diarrhea island?

• 1:11:34Speaker 03

  Oh, my, that's good.

• 1:11:35Speaker 01

  Diarrhea.

• 1:11:36Speaker 03

  Diarrhea? Island?

• 1:11:38Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's really good. We were sitting here and she kept saying diarrhea island. I said, that's the viral moment from this episode. But then I showed her my Looney Tunes shirt.

• 1:11:45Speaker 03

  Well, that I-

• 1:11:46Speaker 01

  And-

• 1:11:46Speaker 03

  It's a classic.

• 1:11:47Speaker 01

  And culture was born.

• 1:11:48Speaker 02

  Culture was born.

• 1:11:49Speaker 03

  You know, I had a Looney Tunes shirt.

• 1:11:52Speaker 01

  Did you? What was on? And what was on it?

• 1:11:54Speaker 03

  This is my story to tell. We need a viral moment, too. Did I mention I have a Looney Tunes t-shirt?

• 1:12:02Speaker 03

  I was all about that Looney Tunes life in the eighth grade. It popped open from excitement. I, um, I got, it was the first day of eighth grade. I was a bully child.

• 1:12:11Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:12:12Speaker 03

  And I got a striped oversized button. Now, mind you, I was like six feet tall. I was 12 and a big girl. Okay, so good luck to me. I was, looked like, you know, Lieutenant Dan from Forrest Camp. Like, I was in like Vietnam vet shirts. I'm not joking.

• 1:12:24Speaker 02

  She's not that tall.

• 1:12:24Speaker 03

  No. I was like oversized.

• 1:12:27Speaker 01

  Lieutenant Dan.

• 1:12:28Speaker 03

  No, truly.

• 1:12:30Speaker 01

  Lieutenant Dan was hot.

• 1:12:31Speaker 03

  I know.

• 1:12:32Speaker 01

  Gary Sinise?

• 1:12:33Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 1:12:34Speaker 01

  Yeah, but he wasn't tall.

• 1:12:36Speaker 03

  True.

• 1:12:37Speaker 01

  I would let him.

• 1:12:38Speaker 03

  Oh, my god. By the way, that's not what we're debating here. That is, yeah, of course Gary Sinise.

• 1:12:42Speaker 01

  Gary Sinise.

• 1:12:43Speaker 03

  Ransom, I'm pissing myself. Anybody? When the boy heard his voice? Come on. No, I was bullied and, but anyway, it had Sylvester popping out of the big pocket and then Tweety was down here, or reverse. I forget. Maybe Sylvester was down here and he was up here. And I matched it with American flag shoes. This was pre-MAGA days, you know, this was in the 90s. And I felt like the coolest girl. I was like, I am so cool.

• 1:13:06Speaker 01

  Yeah, Sylvester and the American flag shoes is pretty cool.

• 1:13:09Speaker 03

  It was, honestly, it was a look.

• 1:13:12Speaker 02

  It was a look. No, I pictured it so clearly. But you know, my note for the Coyote versus Acme, not enough Sylvester.

• 1:13:17Speaker 03

  Oh, I love it. What?

• 1:13:18Speaker 01

  I thought there was enough Sylvester, to be honest with you.

• 1:13:20Speaker 02

  No, there was one cutaway to Sylvester missing Tweety, and that was it.

• 1:13:23Speaker 03

  Oh, I love Sylvester. It's the whole show to me.

• 1:13:25Speaker 02

  He didn't say, he didn't say a word, and I wanted his lips so badly.

• 1:13:28Speaker 03

  No, he's so funny.

• 1:13:29Speaker 01

  I thought we got enough of him. He's, he's, he's downplaying it. I-

• 1:13:32Speaker 03

  Who's funny in Looney Tunes? You got Bugs? Sylvester?

• 1:13:35Speaker 01

  Bugs is barely in the movie, too.

• 1:13:37Speaker 03

  Oh, what?

• 1:13:38Speaker 01

  Bugs comes in in one like noir moment and then it's kind of-

• 1:13:40Speaker 03

  I don't like when they do that.

• 1:13:41Speaker 02

  The star of the movie is essentially, and it's obviously Coyote, but it's like, but he doesn't say a word. Verbally, it's like Foghorn Leghorn.

• 1:13:48Speaker 03

  Oh, I could get behind that.

• 1:13:48Speaker 01

  Foghorn Leghorn has a big turn in the film.

• 1:13:51Speaker 03

  Let me say something. I could get behind that.

• 1:13:53Speaker 02

  I was saying-

• 1:13:53Speaker 03

  Speaking of hot.

• 1:13:54Speaker 02

  I was gonna say, I would let any Looney Tunes fuck me.

• 1:13:56Speaker 03

  Leghorn? What is that? What? Yeah, we know, honey, third Leghorn. Foghorn, third Leghorn. People puzzies, I can't stop saying it.

• 1:14:04Speaker 02

  Literally.

• 1:14:04Speaker 03

  Oh, he's the Liam Neeson of the Looney Tunes universe, for sure.

• 1:14:07Speaker 01

  He's sort of giving Momoa.

• 1:14:09Speaker 03

  I feel that, actually. Yeah, he's bottom-heavy, too. He's got that. He's got that like, um, mm-hmm, mm-hmm. Where were we? Anyway, I haven't seen it. I heard it's good, though.

• 1:14:18Speaker 02

  It's very good.

• 1:14:18Speaker 01

  It's good. It's good.

• 1:14:22Speaker 01

  This ad is sponsored by Vive Healthcare.

• 1:14:25Speaker 02

  Time for some prep wisdom.

• 1:14:26Speaker 01

  But first, some common sense, people. Everyone is different. Every one. Yes, even you. Yes, even your situation ship.

• 1:14:33Speaker 02

  Especially your situation ship. And just like people, injectable prep options, not all the same.

• 1:14:39Speaker 01

  That's why you need to talk to your doctor and know what to ask. So here's some prep wisdom.

• 1:14:44Speaker 02

  Did you know there's more to consider about long-acting injectable prep options than how often you get it? Also, why you want to take it matters. Your lifestyle matters. Your routine, your chaos level, your, I might forget my own birthday energy, all of it counts.

• 1:14:56Speaker 01

  Basically, talk to your doctor. Have the conversation, ask the questions, be a little nosy about your own health. It's allowed, encouraged even. Okay, did you write all that down?

• 1:15:05Speaker 02

  No?

• 1:15:06Speaker 01

  Don't worry.

• 1:15:06Speaker 02

  Just head to getprepwisdom.com to learn what to ask your doctor. That's getprepwisdom.com.

• 1:15:12Speaker 01

  You probably think dressing well takes lots of money or lots of time spent digging through thrift stores.

• 1:15:17Speaker 02

  Well, not to be rude, but you're wrong. So dead wrong. And honestly, we're happy for you because now we get to tell you about Depop.

• 1:15:26Speaker 01

  You can find the fashion you love for less on Depop.

• 1:15:29Speaker 02

  And it doesn't matter what you're into. Leopard print? They've got it. Not into leopard print? First of all, why? But fine. They've got that, too. Not leopard print. Basically, whatever your particular fashion situation is, Depop has entered the chat.

• 1:15:44Speaker 01

  We're talking over 600,000 daily listings, including celebrity and stylist shop drops.

• 1:15:49Speaker 02

  That's a lot of listings. And somehow, it gets better. You can sell the stuff you no longer wear and make money. Then use that money to buy things you do want to wear.

• 1:15:59Speaker 01

  It's a circle, like the circle of life, but for fashion. And since fashion is life for a lot of people, samezies.

• 1:16:05Speaker 02

  Depop fashion, if it made sense.

• 1:16:08Speaker 01

  Make money on Depop with no selling fees and find what you want for less.

• 1:16:13Speaker 02

  Depop, love you.

• 1:16:15Speaker 01

  Hey, Bo, on point of order. It feels like nothing is what it says it is anymore.

• 1:16:19Speaker 02

  Point of answer, it's because everything has a catch.

• 1:16:22Speaker 01

  Hey, or it turns out to be something else entirely.

• 1:16:24Speaker 02

  Like a total catfish situation.

• 1:16:25Speaker 01

  Exactly, Bo.

• 1:16:26Speaker 02

  Except for hotels.com.

• 1:16:28Speaker 01

  Hmm, yeah, that one's pretty literal.

• 1:16:29Speaker 02

  Because it's hotels.com. It's in the domain. You go there, you book hotels, hundreds of thousands of them.

• 1:16:35Speaker 01

  And hold up, that's it?

• 1:16:37Speaker 02

  That's it. And when stays are booked as a member, rewards are earned every time.

• 1:16:41Speaker 01

  Every stay?

• 1:16:42Speaker 02

  Every stay. No tracking or managing, just rewards that can be used like cash on future bookings.

• 1:16:47Speaker 01

  Which, by the way, already feels nicer than most rewards programs, okay?

• 1:16:50Speaker 02

  Yeah. Members can also get up to 20% off bookings, so savings start right away.

• 1:16:54Speaker 01

  Does that mean no weird restrictions?

• 1:16:56Speaker 02

  And no blackout dates. Book what works when it works. It's actually really fitting of real travel.

• 1:17:02Speaker 01

  So the name is honest, you're saying? And the rewards are too?

• 1:17:06Speaker 02

  Exactly. Hotels.com. It's all in the name.

• 1:17:09Speaker 01

  Ever wondered how to cruise? And I'm not talking about boats. Season four of Sniffy's Cruising Confessions is finally here, and it's hotter, smarter, and spicier than ever.

• 1:17:18Speaker 02

  Hosts Gabe Gonzalez and Chris Patterson-Rasso know their stuff, and this year, they're not afraid to get a little hands-on.

• 1:17:23Speaker 01

  They're serving up jaw-dropping, insightful, and seriously hilarious conversations with some of the boldest voices in the queer community, from celebrities and comedians to kinksters and cruising pros.

• 1:17:33Speaker 02

  This season's all about challenging stereotypes, celebrating sex positivity, and keeping things delightfully unfiltered. Because intimacy doesn't always look like candlelight and roses, sometimes it's spontaneous, curious, and a little unexpected.

• 1:17:47Speaker 01

  Get ready for deep dives into the history of cruising, trending gay cosmetic procedures, dispatches from Atlanta to Puerto Rico, how OnlyFans is reshaping adult content, and so much more.

• 1:17:58Speaker 02

  So if you're feeling curious, maybe a little bold, consider this your official invitation to push play.

• 1:18:02Speaker 01

  Listen to Sniffy's Cruising Confessions, now on the iHeartRadio app, wherever you get your podcasts.

• 1:18:08Speaker 02

  New episodes every Tuesday, sponsored by Healthy Sexual from Gillette Sciences.

• 1:18:11Speaker 03

  You guys, what are we excited about on stage coming up?

• 1:18:14Speaker 01

  Did you see the end of Oak Street?

• 1:18:16Speaker 03

  What is that?

• 1:18:17Speaker 01

  It's Anne Hathaway shooting a shotgun at a pterodactyl.

• 1:18:20Speaker 03

  I'm sorry, they're, oh, my, my number one.

• 1:18:23Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 1:18:23Speaker 03

  Ewan McGregor is my all-time celebrity number one.

• 1:18:26Speaker 02

  Of course.

• 1:18:26Speaker 01

  You're gonna like this movie.

• 1:18:27Speaker 02

  You're gonna love this movie.

• 1:18:28Speaker 01

  Do you, do you go to the movies for Anne?

• 1:18:31Speaker 03

  Wow, that's a beautiful question. On a plane, yes. I like her.

• 1:18:34Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:18:35Speaker 03

  I think she's gorgeous, obviously. I'm not running to the theater. The last movie I saw in the theaters was Odyssey, and I went just to be part of the conversation.

• 1:18:41Speaker 01

  Right.

• 1:18:42Speaker 03

  And I keep thinking about how it was all people could talk about for like two or three weeks, and that it just was the, that's how our culture is now, where it was just done. The man spent years perfecting literally one of the greatest works of cinema. I mean, and I hate Greek mythology, and I loved it, so that should tell you something.

• 1:18:57Speaker 01

  You loved it.

• 1:18:57Speaker 03

  I did like it. Did you not? I, but I-

• 1:18:59Speaker 01

  We didn't see it yet.

• 1:19:00Speaker 03

  But you, wow.

• 1:19:01Speaker 02

  I know.

• 1:19:02Speaker 01

  It's just, it's, you want to know what it is, honestly?

• 1:19:04Speaker 03

  It's too late now?

• 1:19:05Speaker 01

  It's not that it's too late now. It's just that the movie's very long, and I, I want to get a ticket in the way that I was supposed to. Now, I probably could, right?

• 1:19:13Speaker 02

  Now you could, but, well, I feel like the IMAX tickets are still really hard to get.

• 1:19:16Speaker 03

  Let me tell you something. It doesn't matter. I saw it on like a fakie. It's, and I hate, I was dreading it.

• 1:19:23Speaker 01

  We're gonna go.

• 1:19:23Speaker 03

  Let me put that out there. It's great. But I also, then I'm like, is it because I was so overstimulated because I hadn't been to the movies in so long that I was like, Brooks was here in Shawshank? I was like, what are cars? You know, I didn't know what was happening, but I had a great time.

• 1:19:34Speaker 01

  I'm interested in the Samantha more than love at all.

• 1:19:37Speaker 03

  I was gonna bring up Minority Report earlier because we were talking about Tom Cruise, and I do think it's his best film.

• 1:19:41Speaker 01

  Minority Report.

• 1:19:42Speaker 03

  Love.

• 1:19:43Speaker 01

  So you're kind of not remembering Jerry Maguire, but that's okay.

• 1:19:46Speaker 03

  Well, I love, I know every word to that movie. It's one of the best.

• 1:19:50Speaker 01

  Don't ever stop.

• 1:19:52Speaker 02

  Stop fucking me.

• 1:19:53Speaker 03

  Oh my god, Kelly Preston.

• 1:19:55Speaker 01

  Kelly Preston.

• 1:19:56Speaker 03

  People puzzler, Jesus. I'm boiling. I know we have to go soon. I'm going to a sample sale after this. Talk to me, what?

• 1:20:01Speaker 01

  Sample sale?

• 1:20:01Speaker 02

  Sample sale. The shoe sample sale.

• 1:20:02Speaker 03

  Yeah, you guys don't do sample sales?

• 1:20:04Speaker 02

  No, I gotta go. I love a sample sale.

• 1:20:06Speaker 03

  I love. Let me tell you, the culture here for a sample sale is intense.

• 1:20:10Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 1:20:10Speaker 03

  In London, which is, I spend a lot, I love London, spent a lot of time there, it's very ladylike. Oh, because they don't know, they don't care about bargains there. They're not like animals like we are here, you know?

• 1:20:20Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:20:20Speaker 02

  But, I mean, that makes it nice for you, though, if you're in London and you want to go to a sample sale.

• 1:20:24Speaker 03

  Forget it. I'm gonna give you a tip. If you ever want to get an extra discount and how to charm, I don't do it for this, because I do it to be funny, but then it works in my favor. If you ever want to befriend people who work at one of these places, because they have these, walk in, be friendly, obviously, and then do nothing but talk shit about the other customers. Be like, look at these animals. Oh, they love it. I do a tight five about how horrible everyone is. They shoot tears. I've gotten, I know, genuinely, I have gotten, they're like, just take it. They're like, take this. We don't care. Take it. They love it. It's a great way to ingratiate. I'm all about ingratiating.

• 1:20:56Speaker 01

  You know what you do? Like, this is, this is a hack. Just find, um, find, you know, someone that's got a little bit of a line and just stand behind someone who's being difficult and then make eyes at the guy working. You know what I mean? Just be like, oh, this guy.

• 1:21:09Speaker 03

  My god.

• 1:21:10Speaker 01

  Like, like, place status on the other customers. You know what I mean?

• 1:21:14Speaker 03

  They love it.

• 1:21:15Speaker 01

  And then say, I'm industry.

• 1:21:17Speaker 03

  I'm in the industry. By the way, they don't go for that. Do you guys find as you age, you're so much younger than me? I forgot that I'm like, truly, I am the Judi Dench of whatever this is.

• 1:21:26Speaker 01

  Dame, Michelle Collins.

• 1:21:27Speaker 03

  Dame, yeah. Whatever the fuck.

• 1:21:29Speaker 01

  You might be the first Lost Culture Dame.

• 1:21:32Speaker 03

  Wow. I have to say something if that happened. Quitting the biz. That's all, it's, to me, that's top.

• 1:21:38Speaker 01

  Let's, let's say it's happening.

• 1:21:39Speaker 03

  Oh my, I'll make t-shirts.

• 1:21:40Speaker 01

  We'll do it.

• 1:21:41Speaker 03

  Oh my god, I'm excited. Okay.

• 1:21:43Speaker 01

  We're gonna have a Daming.

• 1:21:44Speaker 03

  Say it again?

• 1:21:45Speaker 02

  Were you gonna ask us?

• 1:21:47Speaker 03

  I know, I'm, I'm.

• 1:21:47Speaker 01

  You said you're acting.

• 1:21:48Speaker 02

  I'm older than you.

• 1:21:49Speaker 03

  Oh, I find as I'm aging that I really am involving myself. And I always joke that my Karen haircut activates. Like, if I'm about to call the manager, I make the joke. I go, you know, it's like a total recall, like, jeez, jeez, jeez, like the helmet forms. And I'm like, I'm activated, call the manager. But, um, no, truly. Yeah, I love it. I was at Jersey Mike's. You guys go there?

• 1:22:07Speaker 02

  I love Jersey Mike's.

• 1:22:08Speaker 03

  Wait, what's your order there?

• 1:22:09Speaker 02

  Well, I can tell you.

• 1:22:11Speaker 01

  But I could tell, no, that's not superiority, because we could tell you our Tapabell order.

• 1:22:16Speaker 03

  Oh, what is it?

• 1:22:17Speaker 01

  Oh, two chicken quesadillas.

• 1:22:18Speaker 02

  Two bean burritos.

• 1:22:19Speaker 03

  You do the quesadillas?

• 1:22:21Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:22:21Speaker 03

  Interesting.

• 1:22:21Speaker 02

  I do the bean burritos. How cursed is that?

• 1:22:23Speaker 03

  That is a mess. And they're three fried beans, or it's the whole ones.

• 1:22:26Speaker 02

  Yes, but I love a refried bean.

• 1:22:27Speaker 03

  They are delicious. Pure salt.

• 1:22:28Speaker 02

  Pure salt. Wait, I have to go. I'm so sorry. I have rehearsal.

• 1:22:32Speaker 03

  Hold on. I have to go. I have rehearsal.

• 1:22:36Speaker 01

  All right, so we have to do I Don't Think So Honey.

• 1:22:37Speaker 03

  Wait, but I am nervous about it. Okay, can I, can I preface it? I know you have to go. Okay.

• 1:22:41Speaker 02

  No, no, no.

• 1:22:41Speaker 01

  No, we're gonna do ours and then you'll do yours.

• 1:22:43Speaker 03

  Okay, because I have two, and I want to give a, I'm gonna give a 10-second one, because that's the one I was gonna do. And then I'm gonna do one for clicks.

• 1:22:49Speaker 01

  Okay, so we're gonna do, what we're gonna do is, I'm gonna do mine, Bowen's gonna do his, you're gonna do your 10-second one, and then you're gonna do your real one.

• 1:22:55Speaker 03

  Okay. By the way, I have not prepared it at all.

• 1:22:57Speaker 02

  Okay, great. Me neither. Do you want to go?

• 1:22:59Speaker 01

  I don't ever prepare.

• 1:23:00Speaker 02

  I've got one.

• 1:23:01Speaker 01

  I was gonna go first.

• 1:23:02Speaker 02

  Okay, great. This is Matt Rogers, I Don't Think So Honey, his time starts now.

• 1:23:04Speaker 01

  I don't think so, honey, the word darling in pop songs.

• 1:23:07Speaker 02

  Oh.

• 1:23:08Speaker 01

  You don't say that. No one says that. And the, it's, it would, you would almost believe that the younger people get nowadays, they're saying darling more.

• 1:23:18Speaker 02

  They certainly don't.

• 1:23:19Speaker 01

  And I just want to put this out there. If you are a millennial or Gen Z person, or anyone really at all, and you use the word darling actually in your vernacular, I want to know. It's like that thing you have with the word goddamn.

• 1:23:32Speaker 02

  But that's just my personal thing. You have it, this is a valid.

• 1:23:34Speaker 01

  Because the word darling, like, when you refer to someone as your darling, and you're like a 26-year-old person who's a pop star, like, I have questions there. I also don't think, like, um, syntax-wise, like, it necessarily is the filler word that everyone thinks it is. I don't think so, honey. Darling, say baby. Of course, like, darling is gonna rhyme with, like, something like feeling and living.

• 1:23:58Speaker 03

  Sing.

• 1:23:59Speaker 01

  And I think that that's where we're getting away with things, but I'm calling everyone out. I don't think so, honey.

• 1:24:04Speaker 02

  And that's one minute.

• 1:24:05Speaker 01

  And the second thing I want to say, this isn't an I don't think so, honey, but I do want to put them on blast. I'm not making you my I don't think so, honey, Delta.

• 1:24:13Speaker 03

  Ooh.

• 1:24:13Speaker 01

  But you don't have wifi.

• 1:24:16Speaker 03

  Wow.

• 1:24:16Speaker 01

  So you should stop saying you have wifi, like, when you are selling your flights. This is Bowen Yang's, I Don't Think So Honey, his time starts now.

• 1:24:24Speaker 02

  I don't think so, honey, there should be more leaves on the ground. I don't, I think we're raking the leaves this time of year too quickly. I need there to be some leafage on the ground so that I can feel like fall. Because otherwise, we go right into winter and I didn't get my fall moment enough. I need to hear the crunch under my feet. I think too many businesses and too many things on the side, too many places that, you know, sidewalk is public infrastructure. We're, or our parks even, our public spaces, we are removing the thing that makes, that gives fall its magic.

• 1:24:54Speaker 01

  30 seconds.

• 1:24:54Speaker 02

  Which is the little nip in the air and the little crunch on the ground. I need the crunch on the ground. Otherwise, I forget that it's fall and you are burying and erasing and suppressing fall culture. But, and I don't mean Christian, fall's not for the Christian girls. It's for everybody. And we need to remember this as we fight back against the people and the forces in the world that want to erase crunchy leaves from the floors of our great nation.

• 1:25:20Speaker 01

  Five seconds.

• 1:25:21Speaker 02

  And I don't think so, honey. And everyone, cut it out with the pumpkin spice latte discourse. It's great.

• 1:25:26Speaker 03

  Yes, agree.

• 1:25:26Speaker 01

  It's so good.

• 1:25:27Speaker 02

  It's so good.

• 1:25:28Speaker 03

  I don't like it.

• 1:25:30Speaker 02

  We can just leave it at that.

• 1:25:31Speaker 03

  Leave it at that. Someone's gotta go.

• 1:25:32Speaker 02

  Someone's gotta go.

• 1:25:33Speaker 03

  All right. Funny enough, I'm gonna do a quick 10-second one, because, so, I was gonna do this one, and then I realized I need the clicks.

• 1:25:40Speaker 02

  So do you want, do you want us to do 10 seconds? Do you want me to tell you when you're at 10 seconds so you can shift into the other one?

• 1:25:44Speaker 03

  Um, I'll just say it quick, which is, it's actually on the heels of his flight one, and I agree with you about the leaves. That, I don't think so, honey, when I'm in the emergency exit row and the people who sit next to me don't say hello. Because I'm like, we're gonna fucking die together, okay? We're gonna die. When I have to take, you know what I'm gonna say? Hi? We're dying together. Like, if I have to take the door out, you know when you're gonna say hi? Like, hi, lift the handle, push it out. Like, you have to break the ice in the emergency exit row. And I've had assholes come lately, and I'm like, and you know what Dylan Carlino, the comedian, told me, and then I'll get into my real one? That the role of the exit row, I never knew this, the person by the window, which is always me, AKA first to get sucked out, we know, Boeing doc, anybody, anyway, uh, is to open the door, and the other two people, it's to block everyone else

• 1:26:29Speaker 03

  from storming the door before it's open.

• 1:26:31Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 1:26:31Speaker 03

  I never knew that.

• 1:26:32Speaker 01

  Oh my god, they don't tell you that.

• 1:26:33Speaker 03

  They don't tell you that. Isn't that good? I should have just made this my one.

• 1:26:36Speaker 01

  As it's going down, the flight attendant comes over, like, use your bodies.

• 1:26:40Speaker 03

  Use your bodies and say hi.

• 1:26:42Speaker 01

  Yeah. Use your bodies, use your mouths, use your manners.

• 1:26:45Speaker 03

  Yes, they say, they say they're willing to help. Help me. Say hello. Help me, help you. All right, so now the one that I'm gonna end up doing, which should have just been that one, I'm doing for clicks, because I have a podcast called The Michelle Collins Show. People need to listen to. I have shows in LA. I'm going on tour. Send this to your friends and come see me live and listen to the show. Here we go.

• 1:27:02Speaker 02

  This is Michelle Collins, I Don't Think So Honey, your time starts now.

• 1:27:04Speaker 03

  I don't think so, honey, The View's 30th anniversary. We are counting this show down. May I rest in peace on it, okay? They keep touting all these anniversaries, the 25th anniversary, and you know what? I don't actually care about the show. I always say, I didn't watch the show before I was on it. People go, did you watch it? I went, yeah, when I was on it. I watched it on stage. But I never watched it before, never watched it certainly after, after I, you know, got the old acts, never watched it. But you can't keep making all these fancy fonts and when you're not gonna wheel the stars out, okay?

• 1:27:34Speaker 02

  Literally 30 seconds.

• 1:27:35Speaker 03

  I know I was on the child star season. I get it. It wasn't my choice. It wasn't great. But wheel them out. I mean, my god, you can't celebrate a show when they have fucked over so many of their old hosts.

• 1:27:46Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:27:47Speaker 03

  And then it's like, at least own that shit and have us back.

• 1:27:49Speaker 02

  15 seconds.

• 1:27:50Speaker 03

  That's all I'm saying. So I, I celebrate, I love Whoopi. I always say, I have to, excuse, you know, Whoopi is my goddess, right?

• 1:27:55Speaker 01

  Forever.

• 1:27:55Speaker 03

  Forever. But also, I'm like, y'all, wheel a bitch out. Let me have the moment.

• 1:28:00Speaker 01

  What are you afraid of?

• 1:28:00Speaker 03

  And I know they won't, which is why I like to talk about it, because it's fun. I'm skinny now, I'm on the shots, wheel my ass out.

• 1:28:06Speaker 02

  Wheel her ass out. That's one minute. This is the thing, we love the show, but the occasion, the occasions around it are a little much.

• 1:28:13Speaker 03

  Well, then don't celebrate it. You know, just say, oh, it's our 30th season, but don't have all these confetti cannons go off, and then you're not acknowledging that you were, like, cruel to people.

• 1:28:21Speaker 01

  Can I say, here's the thing, the show is an institution. So let's just say that. But it's weird they don't have you back.

• 1:28:27Speaker 02

  It's really weird.

• 1:28:27Speaker 01

  It's weird.

• 1:28:28Speaker 03

  I agree. I know. Well, I have a theory.

• 1:28:30Speaker 01

  It gets weirder, it gets weirder the longer it doesn't happen.

• 1:28:34Speaker 03

  Well, I'll put it this way, as long as someone's still kicking up there, they're not gonna have their ass back.

• 1:28:38Speaker 01

  Got you. I can.

• 1:28:39Speaker 03

  Got me, but I love you.

• 1:28:40Speaker 01

  I can.

• 1:28:41Speaker 03

  Can I say something?

• 1:28:41Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 1:28:42Speaker 03

  I'm in love with both of you.

• 1:28:43Speaker 01

  I love you so much.

• 1:28:44Speaker 03

  Romantically.

• 1:28:45Speaker 02

  Romantically as well, and sexually. I can't, I'm so sorry, I have to, I dash.

• 1:28:49Speaker 03

  No, you're, by the way, start your stage.

• 1:28:50Speaker 02

  You came here early, but.

• 1:28:51Speaker 03

  I didn't come here. Well, I did, Ish.

• 1:28:52Speaker 02

  Well, no, we moved, we moved the, we moved the recording up.

• 1:28:54Speaker 03

  I just love you. Can I congratulate the two of you and just say that everything you do, everything you do, I, I kvell.

• 1:29:01Speaker 01

  Hold my little hand. We love you so much.

• 1:29:03Speaker 03

  You're both stars and I'm thrilled.

• 1:29:05Speaker 01

  Did you ever, like, really, no, you knew Dune. You liked Dune before you did that shit.

• 1:29:10Speaker 03

  Hello, and I love my outfit. Can we talk about what you put me in?

• 1:29:13Speaker 01

  You gotta watch the Culture Awards.

• 1:29:15Speaker 03

  Best show.

• 1:29:15Speaker 02

  See this one.

• 1:29:16Speaker 03

  Look at me. Best show. I told everyone, I was like, these are two, these are the greatest towns. When are you hosting the Oscars? Is my question. Late night, late night.

• 1:29:24Speaker 01

  All right, answers to that question, tune in next week. But for now, it's, we end every episode with a song.

• 1:29:30Speaker 03

  That's true.

• 1:29:31Speaker 01

  What's, what, no, it's not. What's the song you did your American Idol audition?

• 1:29:35Speaker 03

  Show and tell, such a game I play, what I wanna say. I'm sick.

• 1:29:41Speaker 01

  That's a Broadway voice.

• 1:29:43Speaker 02

  That's a pop voice.

• 1:29:44Speaker 03

  Oh, now show me and tell me that you've been the same way too.

• 1:29:51Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 1:29:52Speaker 03

  Yes, I do, yes, I do.

• 1:29:54Speaker 01

  Fantasia who?

• 1:29:55Speaker 03

  I love you.

• 1:29:56Speaker 01

  That's the song.

• 1:29:57Speaker 02

  The Michelle Collins Show, September 24th.

• 1:29:59Speaker 01

  See her on the road.

• 1:30:00Speaker 02

  Bye.

• 1:30:00Speaker 01

  Bye.

• 1:30:01Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 1:30:01Speaker 01

  Go.

• 1:30:02Speaker 03

  Love you.

• 1:30:02Speaker 02

  Lost Culture Race is a production by Will Ferrell's Big Money Players and iHeartRadio Podcasts.

• 1:30:06Speaker 01

  Created and hosted by Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang. Executive produced by Anna Hosni and produced by Becca Ramos. Edited by Hot Dog Sandwich. And our music is by Henry Kowalski.

• 1:30:19Speaker 01

  Hey, everybody, it's me, Matt, and my tour is on sale now. This time, it's really Christmas. You can go to www.mattrogersofficial.com. Podcasts are a visual medium. If you're not watching me right now, I am holding in my hands my vinyl. It's called Have You Heard of Christmas? The answer to that question is coming. At this time, it's really Christmas. I'm playing all over the country and in London and in Canada. That makes it a world tour. Harry Styles, you're on burn notice. I'll see you soon.

• 1:30:51Speaker 01

  This ad is sponsored by Vive Healthcare.

• 1:30:53Speaker 02

  Everybody who's considering injectable prep, listen up.

• 1:30:56Speaker 01

  Not all injectable prep options are the same. You gotta talk to your doctor about it, and you gotta ask the right questions.

• 1:31:01Speaker 02

  Is there an option that fits your lifestyle?

• 1:31:03Speaker 01

  What about other meds and injection site reactions? These are some questions.

• 1:31:06Speaker 02

  Your doctor has the answers.

• 1:31:08Speaker 01

  Start the conversation. In the meantime, visit getprepwisdom.com. Okay, so I feel like I'm in a new era. New routine, trying to be an adult, thinking about maybe upgrading my car.

• 1:31:19Speaker 02

  Ooh, big new chapter energy. Nothing says fresh start like a new car smell.

• 1:31:26Speaker 01

  Exactly. It's fun to daydream about it. The color, the features, who I'll become as a person behind the wheel.

• 1:31:32Speaker 02

  You in sunglasses, windows down, suddenly responsible.

• 1:31:35Speaker 01

  Suddenly thriving. But when you're done dreaming, you need to head to cars.com.

• 1:31:40Speaker 02

  Yes, they've got over 2 million new and used cars nationwide. So whether you're going practical, sporty, or I just need something that fits the dog in the groceries, it's all there.

• 1:31:50Speaker 01

  And the search filters are actually elite. You can narrow it down by price, mileage, features, so you're not scrolling forever. It makes finding your exact car feel way less overwhelming.

• 1:31:59Speaker 02

  It's basically your co-pilot for your next phase.

• 1:32:02Speaker 01

  Start your search with cars.com. Where to next?

• 1:32:05Speaker 02

  Introducing M&M's caramel you already love now popped into a totally new texture.

• 1:32:10Speaker 01

  I'd say M&M's are one of those truly iconic snacks.

• 1:32:13Speaker 02

  They've just launched a brand new freeze-dried innovation that brings a whole new vibe to the M&M lineup.

• 1:32:19Speaker 01

  I mean, come on. What's not to love about M&M's?

• 1:32:24Speaker 02

  M&M's continues to be that girl. The crunch is unexpected in the best way.

• 1:32:29Speaker 01

  Way crisper than you'd think. Like, you bite into one and there's the little pop that you don't see coming from something that still tastes like classic M&M's caramel.

• 1:32:37Speaker 02

  The best part is they've got that classic M&M's caramel flavor. It's available in stores now.

• 1:32:44Speaker 01

  Readers, quick but important announcement. Virgin Voyages is not just a cruise, it's a statement.

• 1:32:50Speaker 02

  Adults only. Immaculate vibes, over 20 eateries, epic entertainment, fitness classes, Wi-Fi, all included. We love transparency.

• 1:33:01Speaker 01

  They're selling the Caribbean, the med, the West Coast, and now Alaska. So whether it's sun-drenched golden hour or full glacier core main character energy, they set range.

• 1:33:10Speaker 02

  And with all the awards they've won, the ships might sweep our culture awards. Slay of the sea, excellence in poolside looks, outstanding achievement in top-deck behavior.

• 1:33:20Speaker 01

  Virgin Voyages.

• 1:33:21Speaker 02

  Sailors, consider yourselves called.

• 1:33:24Speaker 01

  Book it at virginvoyages.com or let your travel advisor handle it. Either way, you're welcome.

• 1:33:29Speaker 00

  This is an iHeart Podcast. Guaranteed human.