"Class FTM License" (w/ Spike Einbinder + Honey Pluton)

Spike Einbinder and Honey Pluton bend the culture medium with their astrological sun, moon, and rising culture breakdown with Matt + Bo on Las Cultch! But first, the episode must mourn, but mourning is celebrating bodymaxxx full body chills for the legendary icon Dolly Parton and the ever important Tim Curry. Spike and Honey shed light on living in NY but BEING an Angeleno, how angel numbers follow you, cheese pulls on Instagram are actually more explicit than nudity on the platform and how watching Dancing with the Stars is like watching Ben-Hur and can be characterized as “tantric Television.” Also the impact of the Instagram presence of Vin Diesel, cultural excavation of Jackass as many things, including an enduring and beautiful display of the masculine fascination with the butthole and what it can handle, Spongebob Squarepants as a queer Simpsons, the repression of Squidward and how every frame of the series is a meme, and the equal talent and desperation of Kathy Griffin and seeking validation from the institutions you wish to destroy. IDTSH's on: pizza places that don't deliver slices, coffee shops don't have seats anymore, not believing in God, and pitying Spike's blind dog named Spider-man See these two on tour! And remember: Dolly would want us to pray! See omnystudio.com/listener https://omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

• 0:00Speaker 00

  This is an iHeart Podcast. Guaranteed Human.

• 0:04Speaker 01

  Season four of Sniffy's Cruising Confessions is here.

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  This year, hosts Gabe Gonzalez and Chris Patterson-Rosso are unzipping the truth, challenging stereotypes, celebrating sex positivity, and keeping things delightfully unfiltered.

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  Tune in for jaw-dropping, hilarious, and insightful chats with some of the boldest voices in the queer community, and dive deep into the history of cruising, queer scenes from Atlanta to Puerto Rico, how OnlyFans is reshaping adult content, and so much more.

• 0:31Speaker 02

  Feeling curious, maybe a little bold? Just push play.

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  Listen to Sniffy's Cruising Confessions now on the iHeart Radio app or wherever you get your podcasts.

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  Sponsored by Healthy Sexual from Gilead Sciences.

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  Do you want to know the secret to life? It's Depop. And by life, I mean affordable fashion.

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• 1:08Speaker 01

  We've been talking about Cupi mayo for a minute now, and wow, so many of you already love this stuff.

• 1:14Speaker 02

  And if you're thinking, wait, what is Cupi? Do you not have the internet? It's the OG Japanese mayonnaise, the one with the red cap.

• 1:23Speaker 01

  What makes it different? Egg yolks. Cupi is made with egg yolks only, giving it this rich umami flavor.

• 1:30Speaker 03

  That elevates everything.

• 1:31Speaker 02

  Chefs use it, restaurants use it, where chefs work, of course. Food and flavor lovers use it.

• 1:37Speaker 01

  You haven't tried it yet? Well, find the red cap and see what everyone's talking about, why don't you? Cupi, the original Japanese mayonnaise. Cupi.

• 1:48Speaker 04

  Look, man.

• 1:48Speaker 01

  Where?

• 1:49Speaker 04

  Oh, I see. Wow. Why? Bowen, look over there. Wow, is that culture? Yes.

• 1:54Speaker 01

  Oh, my goodness.

• 1:54Speaker 04

  Wow. Las Culturistas.

• 1:58Speaker 01

  Ding dong, Las Culturistas calling.

• 2:01Speaker 02

  It was just time to be real.

• 2:02Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:03Speaker 02

  Guys, it's back. Be real.

• 2:06Speaker 01

  Be real?

• 2:07Speaker 02

  I'm telling you.

• 2:08Speaker 01

  You have the app Be Real, and it was just time to be real?

• 2:11Speaker 02

  Someone, I forget who, it was just time to be real, like, no, no, no, no, I like, like, ten minutes ago. 2022.

• 2:17Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 2:18Speaker 02

  I am so, it is, remember when we all, like, were on the same page about it, and we're like, this is the panacea, we can be cured of this terrible, noxious force in the world?

• 2:30Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:31Speaker 02

  And then we all forgot about it, like, we all bailed in such a crazy way.

• 2:35Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:35Speaker 02

  It is still, like, the, there's only six people on it, by the way.

• 2:39Speaker 01

  Really?

• 2:39Speaker 02

  But we're all a community.

• 2:40Speaker 01

  Like, six people that we know?

• 2:42Speaker 02

  That we know.

• 2:42Speaker 01

  Okay, cool.

• 2:43Speaker 02

  Um, and everywhere, it's, you're like, wow, I guess we're all the same, huh?

• 2:48Speaker 01

  What I was also saying to you before we started, that Be Real also allows me is to know where people are.

• 2:54Speaker 02

  Period.

• 2:54Speaker 01

  Which, now that I've sort of endeavored to become a part of Find My Friends culture, I, I kind of have to know where everyone is. And sometimes I'll meet someone for the first time, and I'll go to check on Find My Friends, and I'm like, oh, right, I just met them. I'm not entitled to their location. However, today, I am looking forward to getting the location of both of our guests. I'm not saying we have to hang out every day, I'm just saying I would like to know where they are all the time, especially now.

• 3:19Speaker 02

  But this isn't a, but then this requires buy-in for them to be like, here, well, here, we'll share a location. All right.

• 3:27Speaker 01

  Let me tell you something, we've been doing almost 600 episodes of this podcast.

• 3:31Speaker 02

  Uh huh.

• 3:31Speaker 01

  And, and that's, and that's tea.

• 3:34Speaker 02

  And that's tea.

• 3:34Speaker 01

  And just before we bring our guests in, um, we have to do some light mourning on the episode, and I do apologize about that, but like, we can't have the episode just come out without mentioning, and of course, there was Hayden Panettiere, and now there is Tim Curry, so it was already tough. And Hayden Panettiere is a figure of great L.C.

• 3:56Speaker 02

  She ruins large in L.C.

• 3:58Speaker 01

  Truly just saw Rocky Horror the other day.

• 4:01Speaker 02

  Like, right after they announced Kingdom Hearts IV. It's actually so sad.

• 4:06Speaker 01

  Yeah. I mean, and, and also, like, she was so, so, so good, too. Go watch Remember the Titans again. Just remember. And then also think about, should she have been doing this? Should people be child stars? But we're not going to get into the topic of it, we're more just mourning.

• 4:22Speaker 02

  Yeah. I think our guests will solve that.

• 4:25Speaker 01

  And just to say, Dolly Parton, that is, it's so tough, we can get into it a bit, but like, I just want to, like, let that be something that we acknowledge, that we probably have lost the most beloved pop culture figure maybe ever. And it sounds hyperbolic to say that, but I don't think it's.

• 4:43Speaker 02

  I don't think so. Um, god, I like, always thought I was, like, just casual. It feels crazy to just, like, talk to our guests like this.

• 4:51Speaker 01

  And here, and we're gonna bring them in.

• 4:53Speaker 02

  Okay. Okay, this, this is a perfect portal into bringing them in, okay. They are both on tour in some of the great cities of the world. New York, San Francisco, Berlin.

• 5:05Speaker 01

  Can I throw one out?

• 5:06Speaker 02

  London, Paris.

• 5:06Speaker 01

  And see if it's on the list?

• 5:10Speaker 02

  And then?

• 5:10Speaker 01

  LA.

• 5:13Speaker 02

  Spike is doing LA by himself.

• 5:15Speaker 01

  Oh, so I did.

• 5:16Speaker 02

  Solo side quest.

• 5:16Speaker 01

  He just kind of revealed to me the this.

• 5:18Speaker 02

  That's the Dodgers thing.

• 5:20Speaker 01

  Oh, is it?

• 5:21Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 5:22Speaker 01

  Angelino vibes.

• 5:23Speaker 02

  Angelino vibes.

• 5:24Speaker 01

  Let's bring them in so we can all mourn. We have to bring them in so we can mourn together.

• 5:28Speaker 02

  We can mourn together, um.

• 5:29Speaker 05

  No, my silence feels like a bit.

• 5:31Speaker 01

  No!

• 5:32Speaker 05

  I literally feel like I'm acting. I'm like, that was an audition.

• 5:35Speaker 03

  No, we.

• 5:36Speaker 02

  It doesn't feel right.

• 5:37Speaker 05

  Quiet man under the stairs. Five.

• 5:39Speaker 01

  You booked.

• 5:40Speaker 02

  You booked. There's four other quiet men, at least.

• 5:44Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 5:45Speaker 02

  They booked. Everyone, please welcome into your ears.

• 5:47Speaker 01

  Spike, I'm your nerd, honey, Pluto!

• 5:51Speaker 02

  Now, let's mourn Dolly Parton.

• 5:52Speaker 01

  Do you want to just quickly mourn with us? Because it feels like, yay, you come in for the fun episode, and like, Dolly Parton is dead.

• 5:58Speaker 03

  Well, and Tim Curry's also dead.

• 5:59Speaker 02

  And Tim Curry is also dead.

• 6:00Speaker 05

  Part of mourning is celebrating.

• 6:03Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 6:03Speaker 05

  You know, we have to come together and think about these people that have brought us so much life.

• 6:08Speaker 01

  Uh huh.

• 6:09Speaker 05

  And through their death, they will continue to allow us to live, literally, like, it's action, not hyperbolic. Dolly Parton, I learned today from Instagram story, but it is real.

• 6:18Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 6:19Speaker 05

  Had an F to M trans man chauffeur.

• 6:22Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 6:23Speaker 05

  Her entire career. She is truly a bastion. I have full body chills, by the way, Anna Merrick.

• 6:29Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 6:30Speaker 05

  I am completely overwhelmed with any emotion a human being can have in delivering that news.

• 6:33Speaker 01

  You're at Body Max thinking about this.

• 6:35Speaker 02

  Your pores and your dick are, like, pointing to heaven where she is.

• 6:38Speaker 05

  Completely, and she's waving down and saying, you're welcome.

• 6:41Speaker 01

  Yeah, her nipples on her big tits are pointing back down at us.

• 6:45Speaker 03

  It's kind of a nipple to dick, like, thread, cosmic thread.

• 6:48Speaker 01

  It's an invisible string.

• 6:50Speaker 03

  It's gonna be a new constellation in the sky, be like Orion's Belt, Big Dipper.

• 6:53Speaker 01

  I'm gonna cry.

• 6:55Speaker 03

  But it's also that she admitted in the same thing when she was being, like, questioned on that, like, why would your driver be, like, a 300-pound trans man, which is like, why the fuck not? That's the best, that's the best people who can drive.

• 7:07Speaker 02

  You're in the safest hands.

• 7:08Speaker 05

  A 300-pound trans man has never been in a motor accident.

• 7:11Speaker 03

  No.

• 7:11Speaker 01

  No.

• 7:13Speaker 05

  He's never even swerved.

• 7:14Speaker 01

  No!

• 7:15Speaker 05

  He's driving a Cadillac, eyes closed.

• 7:17Speaker 01

  No, defensive driving.

• 7:19Speaker 05

  100% and aggressive.

• 7:20Speaker 02

  And aggressive, defensive and aggressive, and dialectic.

• 7:23Speaker 03

  A Class D license, Class M license, the Class FTM license, you never get in an accident.

• 7:27Speaker 01

  My, sorry, what's a Class D? FTM license is really strong and title up.

• 7:32Speaker 02

  Sorry, I'm stupid, and I guess I don't drive.

• 7:35Speaker 03

  I don't know how to drive.

• 7:36Speaker 02

  But what's Class D and Class M?

• 7:38Speaker 03

  Class M is motorcycle.

• 7:39Speaker 02

  Motorcycle, and then D is truck?

• 7:41Speaker 03

  D is driving a car.

• 7:42Speaker 01

  What's so funny is, I was coming through, being like, oh, it's just different types of licenses. And he literally just revealed to me that Class M is motorcycle. Wow. I didn't know you'd need a separate license, but of course you do.

• 7:54Speaker 03

  I, and I'm in a really big fight with the DMV, because I'm really trying to get a motorcycle license, and they have to make me drive a car first. They want to see if I can do four, so I can do two.

• 8:03Speaker 01

  In New York?

• 8:04Speaker 03

  Yes. They don't trust me with four wheels.

• 8:05Speaker 01

  That's not how bikes work. They let kids drive bikes.

• 8:07Speaker 03

  Exactly. I'm on a bike every day with my eyes closed. They want me to do four wheels? I don't think so.

• 8:12Speaker 02

  Helmet?

• 8:15Speaker 03

  Foreshadowing.

• 8:15Speaker 02

  Helmet, helmet?

• 8:17Speaker 03

  Helmet on the motorcycle, yes.

• 8:19Speaker 02

  Thank you.

• 8:20Speaker 01

  Can you imagine if no?

• 8:21Speaker 03

  It's not, it's not a shirt thing. Helmet on the motorcycle is like, you need it. Oh, yeah, there's no question.

• 8:26Speaker 01

  This is in an Aerosmith video.

• 8:28Speaker 05

  Right, exactly. I'm not Liv Tyler yet.

• 8:31Speaker 03

  I'll be, I'll be sort of, like, excising my, like, libidinal death drive another way than that.

• 8:36Speaker 02

  Oh, wait, I, we, we need to talk about Dolly just a little bit longer, but I just want to really put out there, well, I can save it for later, but like, I bring you up almost every day, Spike.

• 8:46Speaker 03

  Why?

• 8:46Speaker 02

  Because dogs all, always come in.

• 8:50Speaker 03

  To here?

• 8:51Speaker 02

  No, no, just, just, just in conversation. Dog, I wish, I wish. Dogs.

• 8:55Speaker 05

  Check under your seat.

• 8:56Speaker 02

  Then.

• 8:56Speaker 05

  Check under your seat.

• 8:59Speaker 03

  I'm so ready.

• 9:00Speaker 02

  The last time a dog was here was Orna Geronix's dog, and then that caused a lot of controversy.

• 9:05Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 9:05Speaker 03

  Yeah, I got a, I got a word for her.

• 9:07Speaker 02

  You got a word for her?

• 9:07Speaker 03

  And Orna, we can talk after you get the $250 fine for an off-leash dog that happens to people in New York who don't obey the law.

• 9:13Speaker 02

  There you go.

• 9:14Speaker 01

  It was, I, I will say, the DMs that we got after that episode from people who claimed to have intimate knowledge of.

• 9:22Speaker 03

  They're survivors of Orna's dog.

• 9:23Speaker 02

  Well, they've, they are Park Slope residents who see her walk around.

• 9:27Speaker 03

  They're ready to email. The email is drafted.

• 9:29Speaker 02

  It was drafted.

• 9:30Speaker 01

  Literally, it was like, someone was in my DMs. I, I showed everyone that we knew. I, I remember, remember?

• 9:35Speaker 02

  It was amazing.

• 9:35Speaker 01

  It was like, hi, I'm a longtime fan and reader.

• 9:38Speaker 02

  Unleashed, unleashed.

• 9:39Speaker 03

  She let her dog be off-leash, and then let it.

• 9:41Speaker 05

  She can do whatever she wants. Also, her eyebrows. Her eyebrows are, are solving the crisis of polyamory. Across America.

• 9:50Speaker 01

  Crisis of polyamory.

• 9:52Speaker 05

  She can do whatever she wants.

• 9:53Speaker 03

  I, no, if, I think that she was also, in her story, revealing that her dog pooped in the bush and she didn't do anything about it.

• 10:00Speaker 02

  That's what it was as well.

• 10:02Speaker 03

  It was like, she was tacitly being like, I let the dog go in a bush, and then a man was upset at me. It's like, why do you think he was upset?

• 10:09Speaker 02

  Right.

• 10:09Speaker 03

  Because your dog shit and you didn't pick it up.

• 10:11Speaker 01

  All I want to say is, I'm not saying this, this is the person that told me about it saying this. Apparently, she, quote, and I quote the person who sent me this DM, "strolls around the park like a mob boss."

• 10:24Speaker 03

  So she-

• 10:25Speaker 01

  While the dog is- And the dog was very well behaved here.

• 10:28Speaker 02

  Nico was very well behaved.

• 10:29Speaker 01

  Nico was an angel.

• 10:30Speaker 03

  Let's be clear, Nico didn't ask to be put into the laws and structures of New York City.

• 10:36Speaker 01

  Speak on it.

• 10:36Speaker 03

  It's Orna's job.

• 10:38Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 10:38Speaker 03

  To be taken care of that.

• 10:40Speaker 02

  So the reason why, the reason why you come up a lot is because on my-

• 10:45Speaker 03

  I'm banned from that dog, my brother.

• 10:46Speaker 01

  Dog father.

• 10:47Speaker 02

  Dog father.

• 10:48Speaker 01

  You are the dog father.

• 10:49Speaker 02

  It's true, it's true. But in my sort of like, assum total journey to dog ownership, in the sense that like, it may never happen, I constantly quote Spike where I'm like, "Well, my friend who is like, dog father says like, I should dog sit first for friends, then foster, then adopt." And I'm like, "I need like, a solid 24 months of runway, of like, free time for that to really happen."

• 11:16Speaker 05

  I agree with you.

• 11:17Speaker 02

  And so, like, when it's, you know, I don't know if it's gonna happen.

• 11:20Speaker 03

  It's, which is, it's fine. It's like, also like, you can be like, the fun uncle of your friend's dogs. Like, I need more people to lock into that being a role, because that is necessary. That's like, it takes a village style-

• 11:31Speaker 05

  Because the thing with dogs that gay people forget is that they are alive.

• 11:34Speaker 02

  Right.

• 11:34Speaker 03

  No, right, let's-

• 11:35Speaker 05

  They are-

• 11:36Speaker 01

  They are not an accessory.

• 11:37Speaker 05

  And they're not toys.

• 11:39Speaker 01

  It's not Toy Story, in fact.

• 11:40Speaker 05

  They're completely actually sentient.

• 11:42Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 11:43Speaker 05

  Food, water, play.

• 11:44Speaker 03

  They have their own mental health.

• 11:46Speaker 02

  Right.

• 11:46Speaker 05

  Absolutely. And not in the way that like, gay guys, it kind of do need the way that gay guys need food, water, and play. Now that I'm thinking about it.

• 11:53Speaker 02

  Gay guys are barely sentient.

• 11:54Speaker 03

  Gay guys sometimes don't do food and they're happy.

• 11:57Speaker 05

  Wake that up.

• 11:57Speaker 01

  Well, gay guys are more cats, no?

• 12:00Speaker 02

  Depends.

• 12:01Speaker 05

  No, I-

• 12:01Speaker 03

  Gay guys, well, gay guys are cats when they're going meow.

• 12:04Speaker 01

  Yeah. Yeah. That's actually really close to number nine. Gay guys are cats when they're going meow.

• 12:10Speaker 03

  Wait, I'm not supposed to say it with you?

• 12:12Speaker 01

  You should feel free to.

• 12:13Speaker 05

  Gay guys are cats at night and dogs during the day.

• 12:16Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 12:16Speaker 05

  Because during the day, it's like chicken.

• 12:19Speaker 03

  I wanna read that comic book.

• 12:19Speaker 05

  It's like chicken salad and like, CrossFit.

• 12:22Speaker 02

  Which are dog, that's things.

• 12:24Speaker 01

  Totally dog things.

• 12:24Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 12:25Speaker 05

  Right, and then at night, it's, we're going meow.

• 12:26Speaker 03

  At night, it's like, we're like, yowling on a fence to be fucked.

• 12:30Speaker 01

  And also, like, well, like, the concept of gay guy music video night is kind of autism, and so, cats.

• 12:37Speaker 03

  You're speaking my language.

• 12:38Speaker 01

  Yeah, you know what I mean?

• 12:40Speaker 05

  Absolutely.

• 12:40Speaker 03

  Sing to me, Matt.

• 12:41Speaker 01

  Sing to me, Matt.

• 12:42Speaker 02

  Wait, but while, while you're on the road, who's taking care of the dogs?

• 12:45Speaker 03

  Mr. Eric Henry Jimenez.

• 12:47Speaker 02

  I love him.

• 12:48Speaker 03

  My partner of 10 years and fiance.

• 12:50Speaker 02

  Wait, wait, him, them, did I misgender?

• 12:52Speaker 03

  He's him and will sometimes cross-dress.

• 12:54Speaker 02

  That's mine.

• 12:55Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 12:55Speaker 02

  Totally.

• 12:56Speaker 03

  I have a cis male-

• 12:57Speaker 05

  Rest in peace, Tim Curry.

• 12:58Speaker 03

  No, here he is again. Why do you think, why do you think I'm hitching my wife?

• 13:01Speaker 01

  And hey, God, please wake that up.

• 13:04Speaker 03

  No, please.

• 13:04Speaker 01

  And that meaning Tim Curry. Bring him back to life.

• 13:07Speaker 03

  Please wake that up.

• 13:08Speaker 05

  Okay, wait, the one thing, last thing I want to say about Dolly Parton is I'm wondering, in, now, in death, if we will learn if the urban legend is true.

• 13:17Speaker 02

  About her sleeves?

• 13:18Speaker 05

  Yes.

• 13:18Speaker 03

  Full sleeve tattoos.

• 13:19Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 13:20Speaker 01

  I don't think we'll ever know.

• 13:21Speaker 02

  No.

• 13:21Speaker 05

  I don't think so either.

• 13:22Speaker 03

  In the video, they were like, "We're burying her in cotton because she lived-

• 13:26Speaker 01

  Wants to finally be light and comfortable.

• 13:28Speaker 03

  And like, resting and comfortable, which was like-

• 13:30Speaker 01

  Because she lived her life in rhinestones.

• 13:31Speaker 03

  That makes me think the sleeves are present.

• 13:33Speaker 05

  They, they absolutely must be.

• 13:34Speaker 01

  Yeah, it was almost like an addendum. Well, it was a couple of things. It was like, "She's gonna be buried this way, stop asking about the sleeves." That's the subtext.

• 13:41Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 13:41Speaker 01

  And there was another thing which speaks to what you were saying earlier, which is like, one of the things that her nephew made a point of saying was, in the video that he released, was, "And to her trans and gay fans, she wants you to know that she loved you."

• 13:56Speaker 03

  But she said, she said she would have been a drag queen, but she was a man.

• 14:00Speaker 05

  It's too much.

• 14:01Speaker 03

  And tattoo and cotton are only two letters off.

• 14:04Speaker 02

  Wait a minute.

• 14:05Speaker 01

  Right.

• 14:06Speaker 02

  From-

• 14:07Speaker 03

  Like, if you take the C, if you take the C and N away and make a T, it's the same.

• 14:11Speaker 05

  You can apply that to so many words.

• 14:14Speaker 02

  Yeah, for cotton and tattoo.

• 14:16Speaker 05

  A word could be different, one of them had different letters.

• 14:18Speaker 01

  If all the letters were different?

• 14:19Speaker 03

  If you know, if you take away C and N and add T and A, tattoo and cotton.

• 14:23Speaker 05

  You're, you're like, national treasuring-

• 14:25Speaker 03

  Or you just add A.

• 14:26Speaker 05

  Zealand integration of independence.

• 14:27Speaker 03

  If you fold a $20 bill.

• 14:28Speaker 05

  Freemasonry.

• 14:29Speaker 03

  You fold a $20 bill, like an airplane, you see the Twin Towers and the but, have you ever done that?

• 14:35Speaker 02

  No, he's right about that.

• 14:36Speaker 03

  I'm like, have you ever done that with the $20 bill? Someone gave me $20, I don't give it back.

• 14:39Speaker 01

  Chill me to the bone.

• 14:41Speaker 02

  It'll blow your mind.

• 14:42Speaker 03

  And then I just pocket it. I'm like, "Yeah, so, going to Mizell's Candy Shop."

• 14:46Speaker 02

  How are you guys, okay, so I saw a trailer drop for like, the 9/11 documentary.

• 14:50Speaker 03

  Mm-hmm, I'm in it.

• 14:51Speaker 05

  I haven't.

• 14:54Speaker 01

  As just like-

• 14:55Speaker 03

  I'm going, what is that? I'm like, hey, look at her.

• 14:59Speaker 01

  You play the person who panned over from, from the Twin Towers to Mariah Carey's glitter billboards. Which the fact that someone was gay enough to do that that day-

• 15:10Speaker 05

  It's magical.

• 15:11Speaker 01

  I know we're, I know we, we have to remember all the heroes, is what I'm saying.

• 15:15Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 15:15Speaker 03

  That's definitely culture.

• 15:16Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 15:17Speaker 03

  In a big way.

• 15:18Speaker 01

  The gift of that. And by the way, I think that we're gonna be coming up on the anniversary of two things, 9/11 and glitter.

• 15:26Speaker 03

  And Geely.

• 15:27Speaker 01

  Because-

• 15:27Speaker 02

  And Geely.

• 15:28Speaker 01

  Same day.

• 15:29Speaker 03

  Wasn't, wait, was it Geely or glitter?

• 15:31Speaker 01

  It was glitter.

• 15:32Speaker 02

  Glitter came out September 11 or 2003. Geely's a little bit later, I think.

• 15:36Speaker 03

  Geely was kind of like when we all had the flags on the car.

• 15:39Speaker 01

  Oh, wow, yeah.

• 15:40Speaker 02

  Wait, where on the car?

• 15:42Speaker 03

  In the window.

• 15:42Speaker 01

  In the window.

• 15:43Speaker 02

  Oh.

• 15:45Speaker 01

  Have you seen, have you ever seen Geely?

• 15:47Speaker 03

  No.

• 15:48Speaker 05

  No, but I am a Ben Affleck, he is, he's like my tether.

• 15:52Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 15:53Speaker 05

  Yeah, it's like-

• 15:54Speaker 02

  In the us sense?

• 15:55Speaker 01

  Talk more about this.

• 15:55Speaker 05

  Every time he drinks Dunkin' Donuts, I receive caffeine.

• 15:59Speaker 02

  Yeah, you're such a Dunkin' guy.

• 16:00Speaker 03

  Honey's HP goes up, honey, blue tongue.

• 16:02Speaker 05

  No, 100%.

• 16:02Speaker 02

  HP, honey, blue.

• 16:03Speaker 05

  I just think that there's, there's just so, like, the paparazzi images of him, like, kneeling against his house, like, so exasperated, four cigarettes, like-

• 16:11Speaker 03

  His back tattoo is you.

• 16:12Speaker 02

  Back?

• 16:12Speaker 05

  His gigantic-

• 16:13Speaker 01

  The colorful back tattoo.

• 16:15Speaker 05

  Absolutely.

• 16:16Speaker 03

  That's gonna be my friend.

• 16:17Speaker 05

  No, he just, yeah, he's, he just said, he really is, even though he is a dad, he is also the graphic tees that say, "You're not the stepdad, you're the dad that stepped up."

• 16:27Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 16:27Speaker 05

  And that is my gender.

• 16:28Speaker 03

  He's kind of like Punisher T with Hello Kitty bow.

• 16:32Speaker 05

  Definitely. And he has a trans child.

• 16:33Speaker 02

  And he's a trans child.

• 16:34Speaker 03

  And I'm obsessed with Violet Affleck.

• 16:36Speaker 01

  And here's, here's the thing, yes, and also, I don't know if you've been engaging the way we have lately with Jennifer Garner culture, but the fa, we really, really love and respect her, and the fact that she stuck it out so long with him and really tried to make it work, and now co-parents with him, and it seems like a healthy way, actually, everything aside, I'm willing to say, "We love you, Ben Affleck."

• 16:57Speaker 05

  We love him.

• 16:58Speaker 01

  And actually, you're family.

• 16:59Speaker 03

  When people say that like, LA doesn't have culture or whatever, it's like, that's a big part of LA culture. It's like, an amicable co-parenting of your family. Like, blended family is so LA.

• 17:10Speaker 05

  Oh, I thought you were gonna say LA culture is having a Latina ex.

• 17:13Speaker 03

  Um, that's, that's absolutely gonna be LA culture for me as well.

• 17:19Speaker 01

  Have you ever, like, like, seen that in the wild? I've, I've seen-

• 17:24Speaker 05

  Which one?

• 17:25Speaker 03

  In my memory, in my memory?

• 17:28Speaker 01

  Yeah, I guess, literally.

• 17:29Speaker 05

  I don't have a Latina ex, yeah. Which part of what we said?

• 17:31Speaker 02

  Which part?

• 17:31Speaker 01

  Um, but, like, the co-parenting of celebrities, one time I was at Dojo in New York, this is years ago, do you remember this?

• 17:37Speaker 02

  You told the story, I wasn't there.

• 17:38Speaker 01

  This is like, 15 years ago in New York at Dojo, which is now closed, which sucks because Dojo rocks. I'm Mercer and Ford.

• 17:44Speaker 03

  What's Dojo?

• 17:44Speaker 01

  Right where we used to-

• 17:45Speaker 02

  It was where all the kids went at NYU for like, cheap sushi, cheap lunch.

• 17:49Speaker 01

  You could get like, you could get like-

• 17:51Speaker 05

  I didn't know if it was like an-

• 17:52Speaker 03

  Them picking up their-

• 17:53Speaker 05

  If it was like a karate themed, like nightclub.

• 17:55Speaker 01

  No, it was like-

• 17:56Speaker 03

  Wait, let's do that.

• 17:57Speaker 05

  Whoa, where the dong, short take, come on.

• 17:59Speaker 01

  It was like, was it like-

• 18:00Speaker 02

  It was like, it was Japanese.

• 18:01Speaker 01

  Yeah, so it was, and it was a lunch spot that I went to all the time, and one time I was there, and I was sitting there and look over, and there is David Duchovny with his two kids. And he is kind of, and the kids are there, and he's sort of looking like, a little bit miserable.

• 18:14Speaker 05

  Of course.

• 18:15Speaker 01

  And then in walks Taile O'Neal.

• 18:17Speaker 05

  He wants to be smoking pot.

• 18:18Speaker 01

  Yeah, so, so literally, this, so, Taile O'Neal comes in, she goes, "Hey, guys." He gets up and just leaves, she, then she's with the kids, and I turned to our friend, I won't say his name because this is a little bit, I don't know, but I turned to our friend and I go, "Why do you think he looked so miserable?" And our friend goes, "Oh, probably because he couldn't fuck his food."

• 18:38Speaker 05

  No, no, exactly, yeah. No, he wants to be having sex and smoking pot.

• 18:45Speaker 01

  Yeah, he wants to party, dude.

• 18:47Speaker 03

  No, California ginger.

• 18:48Speaker 01

  I was like, "Wait, wait, hold on, David."

• 18:51Speaker 05

  No, no, having sex and smoking, that is like the, that is the ultimate chem sex.

• 18:55Speaker 03

  No, absolutely.

• 18:56Speaker 05

  That's legitimate.

• 18:57Speaker 03

  You wanna talk about P and P?

• 18:58Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 18:59Speaker 03

  That stands for pot and Popeye's.

• 19:00Speaker 01

  Also, he probably, he probably fucks like he wants to believe, you know what I mean? Like, he's Mulder, dude, like, he's been fucking like, like, he's been in X-Files in the 90s, you know what I'm saying?

• 19:11Speaker 03

  That's also the New York co-parent, like, silent, almost subway line transfer handoff of like, no, like, and LA is being like, "Are you guys gonna go to the like, Color Me Mine, like, surround, oh, I forgot, I gotta pick up the stuff from the kiln, like, okay, see you later, love you."

• 19:25Speaker 01

  We're getting married again, right?

• 19:28Speaker 03

  It'll be intimate on the beach ceremony, no, for sure, I didn't know what I was thinking.

• 19:32Speaker 02

  That's beautiful.

• 19:33Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 19:34Speaker 02

  But like, okay, but you're saying, okay, so Spike is gonna perform in Los Angeles, but you, you have this like, this is how I feel about Denver, I'm like, "I don't know that place anymore." Sarah, Sarah Sherman is like, "I'm going tomorrow, what are your racks?" I was like, "I literally don't, I couldn't tell you." But you, you're a LA guy in the sense that you're like, "I, I don't have to try, I don't have to like, seek it out, because I just know this."

• 19:53Speaker 03

  What it is for me is that I was born in Los Angeles, I'll never not be from LA, like, I haven't, I've lived in New York for 17 years, and I've never said that I'm a New Yorker.

• 20:02Speaker 02

  Me neither.

• 20:03Speaker 03

  I'm not.

• 20:03Speaker 02

  18 years I've never said I'm a New Yorker.

• 20:04Speaker 03

  I'm a guy from LA who lives here, and I'll be that till I'm dead in the ground, regardless of where I'm buried.

• 20:09Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 20:09Speaker 03

  Here or there or in space with Tim Curry, himself, changing the gender.

• 20:14Speaker 01

  But it is a, it is a good distinction, Dolly Parton is in heaven, Tim Curry is in space.

• 20:18Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 20:19Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's good.

• 20:20Speaker 03

  That's where Frank and Frank had to go back to.

• 20:21Speaker 05

  And Hayden Panettiere is-

• 20:23Speaker 01

  Still here.

• 20:23Speaker 05

  And Hollister.

• 20:24Speaker 01

  Yeah, she's a Hollister.

• 20:26Speaker 05

  She's the Hollister in the sky.

• 20:27Speaker 03

  Absolutely.

• 20:28Speaker 05

  And she's happy in flip flops.

• 20:29Speaker 01

  I know.

• 20:29Speaker 03

  She's happy in flip flops.

• 20:31Speaker 01

  We miss her.

• 20:31Speaker 03

  But yeah, LA is like, totally, the landscape has totally changed since when I was there, and like, I was also like, doing, I wasn't doing stuff in the way that I had like, freedom and agency, like, when I lived there-

• 20:43Speaker 05

  You weren't gay there.

• 20:44Speaker 03

  I was gay in the repressed way. I was gay when people were like-

• 20:47Speaker 02

  An eternal sense.

• 20:48Speaker 03

  People would be like, "Your hair is weird lesbian," and I was like, "It's something else, and I'll figure it out later, thanks."

• 20:53Speaker 01

  Yeah, for now, I'm gonna take it.

• 20:55Speaker 03

  Yeah, and I don't brush it, because it's hard to.

• 20:57Speaker 05

  Like, I wasn't gay in Chicago.

• 20:59Speaker 03

  Yeah, exactly.

• 21:00Speaker 05

  I'm from there, so, but now it's like-

• 21:01Speaker 03

  Famously big shirt.

• 21:03Speaker 05

  Of course.

• 21:03Speaker 02

  Big shirt.

• 21:04Speaker 05

  I, I wish I was gay there, because now all the gays are having like, the most fun in the entire country, and they go to drag like, every single hour, and all the drag queens are named like, Bread and Butter or whatever, and they're like, I don't know, they get up to-

• 21:18Speaker 02

  Bread and Butter.

• 21:19Speaker 03

  Loretta Dine.

• 21:20Speaker 02

  It used to be New York, literally.

• 21:21Speaker 05

  Exactly, right.

• 21:24Speaker 01

  Have you ever realized your car just doesn't fit your life anymore? Like, maybe you've got a new job, or you've moved, or your family's grown, or maybe you're just ready for something different?

• 21:32Speaker 02

  Yeah, that new chapter feeling is exciting, and sometimes it comes with a new car. When it's time to shop, it can feel overwhelming, though.

• 21:40Speaker 01

  Totally. There are so many options, so many places to look. You could spend weeks bouncing between websites and dealerships trying to figure out what actually works. That's why I always start with cars.com.

• 21:51Speaker 02

  Cars.com brings together over 2 million new and used cars nationwide, all in one place. So whether you know exactly what you want, or you're just exploring, you've got real choices. Everything from compact cars for your commute, to SUVs for family trips, or trucks for hauling gear.

• 22:06Speaker 01

  And it's not just a list. Cars.com has tools and expert advice to help you figure out what car really fits your life. Their advanced search filters lets you narrow things down by price, mileage, and features. Leather seats, third row, hybrid, whatever matters most to you, they got it.

• 22:22Speaker 02

  Plus, the site has real reviews from people about dealerships and transparent deal ratings, so you can see whether the price you're looking at is fair compared to other cars in your area. Makes shopping smarter and simpler.

• 22:32Speaker 01

  That combination of clarity and choice really takes the stress out of car shopping. It lets you focus on what matters, finding the car that works for your life, your plans, and your next chapter.

• 22:41Speaker 02

  So don't take any chances. Do car shopping the easy way. Start your search with cars.com. We're tuned next.

• 22:50Speaker 01

  This ad is sponsored by Vive Healthcare.

• 22:52Speaker 02

  Time for some prep wisdom.

• 22:54Speaker 01

  But first, some common sense, people. Everyone is different. Every one. Yes, even you. Yes, even your situationship.

• 23:00Speaker 02

  Especially your situationship. And just like people, injectable prep options, not all the same.

• 23:06Speaker 01

  That's why you need to talk to your doctor and know what to ask. So here's some prep wisdom.

• 23:11Speaker 02

  Did you know there's more to consider about long-acting injectable prep options than how often you get it? Also, why you want to take it matters. Your lifestyle matters, your routine, your chaos level, your "I might forget my own birthday" energy, all of it counts.

• 23:23Speaker 01

  Basically, talk to your doctor. Have the conversation, ask the questions, be a little nosy about your own health. It's allowed, encouraged even. Okay, did you write all that down? No? Don't worry.

• 23:34Speaker 02

  Just head to getprepwisdom.com to learn what to ask your doctor. That's getprepwisdom.com.

• 23:40Speaker 01

  You probably think dressing well takes lots of money, or lots of time spent digging through thrift stores.

• 23:45Speaker 02

  Well, not to be rude, but you're wrong. So dead wrong. And honestly, we're happy for you, because now we get to tell you about Depop.

• 23:54Speaker 01

  You can find the fashion you love for less on Depop.

• 23:57Speaker 02

  And it doesn't matter what you're into. Leopard print? They've got it. Not into leopard print? First of all, why? But fine. They've got that, too, not leopard print. Basically, whatever your particular fashion situation is, Depop has entered the chat.

• 24:12Speaker 01

  We're talking over 600,000 daily listings, including celebrity and stylist shop drops.

• 24:17Speaker 02

  That's a lot of listings, and somehow, it gets better. You can sell the stuff you no longer wear and make money, then use that money to buy things you do want to wear.

• 24:26Speaker 01

  It's a circle, like the circle of life, but for fashion. And since fashion is life for a lot of people, samezies.

• 24:32Speaker 02

  Depop fashion, if it made sense.

• 24:36Speaker 01

  Make money on Depop with no selling fees and find what you want for less.

• 24:40Speaker 02

  Depop, love you.

• 24:42Speaker 01

  Hey, Bowen, is it just me, or does it feel like nothing is actually what it says it is anymore?

• 24:47Speaker 02

  Yeah, like when you order chicken fingers, you don't get fingers, you get mystery nuggets.

• 24:52Speaker 01

  Exactly. Well, except hotels.com.

• 24:55Speaker 02

  I was gonna say, hotels.com, because they do hotels.

• 24:58Speaker 01

  Refreshing.

• 24:58Speaker 02

  And when booked as a member, rewards are earned every stay, not points that disappear, rewards that work like cash and can actually be used.

• 25:05Speaker 01

  So the name checks out, and the perks do, too?

• 25:08Speaker 02

  Yep. Members can get up to 20% off tons of hotels with no blackout dates, just works with real travel.

• 25:14Speaker 01

  Okay, that tracks.

• 25:16Speaker 02

  Hotels.com, it's all in the name.

• 25:18Speaker 01

  Ever wondered how to cruise? And I'm not talking about boats. Season four of Sniffy's Cruising Confessions is finally here, and it's hotter, smarter, and spicier than ever.

• 25:26Speaker 02

  Hosts Gabe Gonzalez and Chris Patterson-Rasso know their stuff, and this year, they're not afraid to get a little hands-on.

• 25:32Speaker 01

  They're serving up jaw-dropping, insightful, and seriously hilarious conversations with some of the boldest voices in the queer community, from celebrities and comedians to kinksters and cruising pros.

• 25:42Speaker 02

  This season's all about challenging stereotypes, celebrating sex positivity, and keeping things delightfully unfiltered. Because intimacy doesn't always look like candlelight and roses, sometimes it's spontaneous, curious, and a little unexpected.

• 25:55Speaker 01

  Get ready for deep dives into the history of cruising, trending gay cosmetic procedures, dispatches from Atlanta to Puerto Rico, how OnlyFans is reshaping adult content, and so much more.

• 26:06Speaker 02

  So if you're feeling curious, maybe a little bold, consider this your official invitation to push play.

• 26:11Speaker 01

  Listen to Sniffy's Cruising Confessions, now on the iHeartRadio app, wherever you get your podcasts.

• 26:16Speaker 02

  New episodes every Tuesday, sponsored by Healthy Sexual from Gilead Sciences. Um, wait, honey, you're a married man?

• 26:22Speaker 05

  I am.

• 26:23Speaker 02

  Congratulations.

• 26:23Speaker 05

  I just got married.

• 26:24Speaker 01

  Just?

• 26:24Speaker 02

  So then, so then-

• 26:25Speaker 01

  How fresh, how warm is the body?

• 26:26Speaker 05

  Three weeks.

• 26:27Speaker 01

  Three weeks?

• 26:28Speaker 05

  Yeah, August 8th, Lionsgate Portal.

• 26:30Speaker 02

  Lionsgate, wait, what?

• 26:31Speaker 05

  Eight, eight is the Lionsgate Portal every year, but it's two six, so it's eight, eight, eight. Triple eight, angel numbers.

• 26:37Speaker 02

  Hot and tattooed, changed the letters.

• 26:39Speaker 03

  Tattooed, changed the letters, called the $20 bill. Gilean glitter. Gilean glitter.

• 26:44Speaker 01

  Angel numbers.

• 26:45Speaker 03

  Illuminati.

• 26:47Speaker 05

  Yes.

• 26:48Speaker 01

  Angel numbers follow you?

• 26:49Speaker 05

  Definitely. I mean, they can follow all of us if we tune in, our frequencies.

• 26:53Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 26:53Speaker 05

  No, definitely take my six-week course.

• 26:55Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 26:56Speaker 01

  Does everyone have different?

• 26:57Speaker 05

  On Archangel Raphael.

• 27:01Speaker 03

  It comes with the free parasycloons at the end.

• 27:03Speaker 05

  Yeah, it's amazing. When, when the tapeworm comes out of your ass, trust it.

• 27:07Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 27:07Speaker 05

  It's normal.

• 27:08Speaker 03

  It's gonna say something to you really cool, and then you flush it, of course.

• 27:11Speaker 05

  Wait.

• 27:12Speaker 03

  But yeah, LA is like completely-

• 27:13Speaker 05

  Are y'all on?

• 27:14Speaker 02

  Are we what?

• 27:15Speaker 05

  Do you, do you?

• 27:15Speaker 03

  Are you guys married to each other?

• 27:16Speaker 01

  We don't have, we're not married to each other. Um, we could do worse.

• 27:21Speaker 03

  Do people think that you're going out?

• 27:23Speaker 01

  A lot of people-

• 27:24Speaker 02

  A lot of people think we're dating.

• 27:24Speaker 03

  They think that about us.

• 27:25Speaker 02

  Right.

• 27:26Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 27:26Speaker 01

  And how does two-

• 27:27Speaker 03

  Because it's like, well, how could your friendship be so awesome? It's like, because that's also a type of relationship that can occur.

• 27:32Speaker 05

  Taking pictures with each other completely nude.

• 27:33Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah, we can't stop doing that. We can't stop being fully nude in photographs.

• 27:38Speaker 05

  And then posting that to Instagram and being confused as to why it gets flat.

• 27:41Speaker 03

  Why does that happen?

• 27:43Speaker 05

  I'm like, it's literally contemporary art.

• 27:45Speaker 01

  Yeah, I am confused about what gets to be art and what is getting censored. Like, because I really do see a lot of people's full ass on Instagram, all the do-dah.

• 27:55Speaker 03

  I got a lot up there. I got a lot of full ass up there, but when it's the both of us, it's too powerful.

• 28:00Speaker 05

  There's so much more to serve and things on Instagram, like Mark Zuckerberg with his earrings.

• 28:04Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 28:04Speaker 05

  That's way more, him with two hoops.

• 28:07Speaker 01

  He's a scene.

• 28:07Speaker 05

  It's absolutely vulgar.

• 28:09Speaker 03

  Some of the cheese poles, I think, are pornographic.

• 28:11Speaker 02

  Cheese poles are pornographic, for sure, coming.

• 28:13Speaker 03

  Why can't a kid see that?

• 28:15Speaker 05

  Right.

• 28:15Speaker 02

  Right.

• 28:15Speaker 03

  Why can't a kid see the inside of the mozzarella stick and then the white?

• 28:18Speaker 05

  No, see, yeah, because kids just get string cheese prior to the mozzarella stick.

• 28:21Speaker 03

  Yeah, you peel it and a-

• 28:22Speaker 01

  Wait, can I say something? You just did that, and it didn't do something bad to me, did something really good. I think I got a little bit horny thinking about what it looks like with mozzarella.

• 28:29Speaker 03

  Your dick went to the sky.

• 28:30Speaker 01

  Yeah, hey, Dolly.

• 28:31Speaker 02

  What is that, is that, what's that kink called?

• 28:34Speaker 03

  Which one?

• 28:34Speaker 02

  The gloopy, gloopy, like-

• 28:36Speaker 01

  Gloopy cheesecake.

• 28:37Speaker 03

  Gunging is when you have food all over yourself and splashing, or the wet and messy category of fetish.

• 28:42Speaker 01

  Gunging?

• 28:43Speaker 03

  G-U-N-G-E.

• 28:45Speaker 02

  Whoa.

• 28:45Speaker 03

  Everybody Googling, you're welcome.

• 28:47Speaker 05

  I didn't know about that.

• 28:48Speaker 02

  Amazing.

• 28:48Speaker 03

  I've gunned. We've talked about this.

• 28:50Speaker 01

  It's almost grunge.

• 28:50Speaker 03

  When I, when I did, I did a performance that was like a gun sploshing performance earlier this summer.

• 28:55Speaker 02

  Yep.

• 28:55Speaker 03

  That was during a hot dog eating contest where everybody had to eat one hot dog the best. And I won.

• 29:02Speaker 01

  How do you eat it the best?

• 29:04Speaker 03

  I just absolutely went to town and fucked it and had it fuck me.

• 29:07Speaker 02

  Sure, is it, oh, David Duchovny, you fucked the food?

• 29:08Speaker 03

  Yeah, absolutely fucked the food.

• 29:09Speaker 02

  Did you, did you use, was it like the water thing, like the Kobayashi, like?

• 29:13Speaker 03

  No, it was, I had to eat one single hot dog, and I like, I did like a cake sitting thing with the hot dog.

• 29:18Speaker 02

  Like Cake Farts?

• 29:19Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 29:19Speaker 01

  Oh, my god!

• 29:21Speaker 02

  That's our favorite movie.

• 29:22Speaker 01

  Thank you! We love Cake Farts.

• 29:24Speaker 03

  It's on New York Television, if you want to catch a rerun of it.

• 29:26Speaker 02

  Was this where the thing that Curtis Sliwa was at?

• 29:28Speaker 03

  That was a different thing that involved a hot dog that I also won this summer.

• 29:32Speaker 01

  Can I ask about Curtis Sliwa being at the event?

• 29:35Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 29:35Speaker 02

  You, you, no, this is gonna haunt you for the rest of your life.

• 29:37Speaker 03

  Haunt me?

• 29:38Speaker 02

  Okay, no, I'm sorry.

• 29:39Speaker 03

  I'm like-

• 29:40Speaker 01

  What, what, what?

• 29:40Speaker 03

  It's great.

• 29:41Speaker 01

  What was that like?

• 29:42Speaker 03

  By, by the way, do you know what happened? I did, I started doing a bit last year during-

• 29:46Speaker 02

  Or not drag, but yeah.

• 29:47Speaker 03

  Absolutely. I mean, like, I was in Curtis Sliwa drag.

• 29:50Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 29:50Speaker 03

  Contes Sliwa.

• 29:51Speaker 02

  Contes Sliwa.

• 29:52Speaker 03

  That's what it's called when I'm dressed as him.

• 29:54Speaker 01

  It's like the best Avatar character we have in Sliwa.

• 29:57Speaker 03

  Sliwa.

• 29:58Speaker 01

  Sliwa. Cut to Sliwa.

• 30:01Speaker 03

  Um, basically, when the mayoral race was happening last year, I started doing a Curtis Sliwa drag bit.

• 30:07Speaker 02

  Amazing.

• 30:07Speaker 03

  Where I reenact his 1992 assassination attempt when he was shot in the back of a taxi cab.

• 30:14Speaker 05

  You're queering history.

• 30:15Speaker 03

  Absolutely.

• 30:16Speaker 02

  So, yeah.

• 30:16Speaker 03

  And so it was like a New York track that I made, like, I make every audio track that I've ever done drag to, I make myself. And it was like, Welcome to New York, Taylor Swift, I Love Living in the City by Fear, um, on Broadway, uh, New York, Addison Rae.

• 30:33Speaker 02

  Yeah!

• 30:34Speaker 03

  I love New York, um, Madonna, but I don't like cities, but I like New York.

• 30:39Speaker 02

  From Confessions 1.

• 30:39Speaker 03

  Yes. And then it, it ends with, It's Up to You, New York, New York. So it's like crazy, oh, and Back in the New York Groove. So it's like, taking you through that.

• 30:47Speaker 02

  So many good songs.

• 30:48Speaker 03

  And a taxi cab comes and chases me with a gun. And then I wrestle the gun from the taxi cab and, and kill it. Oh, no, well, the taxi cab killed me in the original. But when I pitched it to the Times Square Arts people, they were like, so, we can't have a gun, and we can't have the gunshot noises in your track, and we can't have you die as Curtis Sliwa, because he's gonna judge the competition. And I was like-

• 31:12Speaker 03

  I was like, well.

• 31:15Speaker 03

  Okay, so I changed it. I made it, instead of using a prop gun that I've been using, I made a gun out of cardboard. And then I had it where I wrestled the gun from the taxi cab and killed the taxi cab in like one.

• 31:25Speaker 02

  And where does the hot dog come in?

• 31:26Speaker 03

  The hot dog, I performed in front of a giant 65 foot long hot top, hot dog that at the end of it shot out tiny bits of confetti that were supposed to be the Epstein files.

• 31:34Speaker 02

  Those are your angel numbers, hot dogs. Okay.

• 31:37Speaker 05

  Well, what did, what did you use instead of a gunshot noise?

• 31:39Speaker 03

  Looney Tunes like, but damn.

• 31:41Speaker 01

  You can be funny about guns, but you can't be real about guns.

• 31:44Speaker 05

  No, of course, because it was a little bit too scary.

• 31:46Speaker 03

  When I was thinking about it.

• 31:47Speaker 01

  You can go pew pew Laura Dern, you can't be like.

• 31:50Speaker 03

  Right. It was also like.

• 31:52Speaker 05

  At the airport eating fajitas, being like, why is everyone stressed about this smoke that everyone's seeing?

• 31:56Speaker 03

  Exactly, says like fajitas.

• 31:57Speaker 05

  Right.

• 31:58Speaker 01

  Can I ask, like, ultimately, what was there?

• 32:01Speaker 03

  Standing ovation.

• 32:02Speaker 01

  He gave you a standing ovation.

• 32:03Speaker 03

  And he recused himself from judging. He said, I can't judge this because I'm too close to it. And he also said the next time somebody wants to pull a gun on me, will you step in front of me, Spike? It's like, so interesting.

• 32:16Speaker 02

  So wait a minute.

• 32:17Speaker 01

  So you want me going down?

• 32:18Speaker 03

  Yeah, and you know, he's your neighbor.

• 32:20Speaker 02

  He's, oh, and wait, here?

• 32:21Speaker 03

  Doesn't he record like eight hours a day at iHeart Radio?

• 32:24Speaker 01

  Yeah, is he an iHeart, is he an iHeart girly?

• 32:27Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 32:28Speaker 01

  Curtis Leewa?

• 32:29Speaker 03

  Curtis, come on in and bring that cocker spaniel he brought with him too.

• 32:32Speaker 01

  Can you imagine if we had him on the show?

• 32:34Speaker 03

  I would.

• 32:35Speaker 02

  I can.

• 32:35Speaker 03

  I mean, I better be, I better be back with a hot dog and a gun, that's all I'm saying.

• 32:39Speaker 01

  That's something that you think is, is a lost culture, it's in our future?

• 32:44Speaker 03

  I mean, he would do it. He would do anything. He would do anything. He has 17 cats at one point. Yeah.

• 32:48Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 32:49Speaker 02

  We're not gonna have anyone left of Curtis on the show. But I think we will have every MAGA person in every.

• 32:56Speaker 01

  Anyone right of Curtis?

• 32:57Speaker 02

  Anyone right of Curtis, anyone right of Curtis, we will have on. Just to like, get them, just to like, get to know them.

• 33:03Speaker 03

  We gotta get Tucker on here.

• 33:04Speaker 01

  Yeah, well, he loves gay guys.

• 33:07Speaker 03

  When we come back.

• 33:07Speaker 01

  He's absolutely addicted to gay men.

• 33:09Speaker 03

  We need to do like.

• 33:10Speaker 05

  What do you mean? What does he say about them?

• 33:11Speaker 01

  Oh, he's just constantly like, you know, these gay guys, like, what if, what if they turn out gay? He's just like very fascinated with things being gay, people acting gay.

• 33:21Speaker 02

  Bow ties, like say, say it all.

• 33:23Speaker 03

  The green Eminem getting flat shoes instead of high heels. That was like, yeah, hugely influential.

• 33:28Speaker 01

  It's that kind of thing where it's like, I definitely don't want to eat chocolate cake. You know what I mean?

• 33:34Speaker 03

  Cause it's brown like poop which comes from a butthole where I want to fuck a guy.

• 33:37Speaker 01

  It's like, if I were to, in random conversation, just be like, we're talking like this and it's like, wow. And you know what sucks chocolate cake?

• 33:45Speaker 05

  It's like you couldn't want it more and you're starving and you need it.

• 33:48Speaker 01

  So bad.

• 33:51Speaker 03

  It's Bruce Vaughn Trotter levels of needing to eat it.

• 33:53Speaker 01

  Thank you. Brucey, Brucey vibes.

• 33:56Speaker 02

  Brucey.

• 33:57Speaker 05

  Well, Tucker Carlson's obviously gay because he's a man with a podcast.

• 34:00Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 34:01Speaker 05

  Right.

• 34:02Speaker 03

  Look around.

• 34:04Speaker 05

  Get all the mics in front of our gay mouths.

• 34:06Speaker 03

  Only straight guy with a podcast, Curtis Leewa.

• 34:08Speaker 02

  Curtis Leewa and Kyle McLaughlin, also on this network.

• 34:11Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 34:12Speaker 02

  Both on this network.

• 34:13Speaker 05

  But like potentially bi curious.

• 34:14Speaker 03

  Asexual king.

• 34:15Speaker 02

  Oh, absolutely.

• 34:17Speaker 01

  Do you know what he just gave us? An ice cream maker.

• 34:21Speaker 03

  So he's not.

• 34:22Speaker 05

  Okay, so he wants to be invited over really bad.

• 34:25Speaker 01

  Of course he's invited.

• 34:26Speaker 05

  Yes, Neapolitan night, ASAP. He's craving it.

• 34:30Speaker 03

  Oh my gosh.

• 34:31Speaker 02

  This goes into Spike's culture though, but like, we are not super Lynch literate and I feel like he's such a Lynch muse.

• 34:38Speaker 05

  A Lynch pin.

• 34:38Speaker 02

  A Lynch pin.

• 34:39Speaker 01

  He's a Lynch.

• 34:40Speaker 05

  Lynch, of course.

• 34:42Speaker 03

  Oh, it's audio medium, I should not.

• 34:43Speaker 02

  It's audio medium.

• 34:44Speaker 01

  Well, no, not anymore. Look around.

• 34:46Speaker 02

  Look around.

• 34:46Speaker 01

  I mean, we are.

• 34:49Speaker 01

  Our set is almost as gay as Tucker Carlson's.

• 34:51Speaker 05

  Yes, definitely.

• 34:53Speaker 02

  Defo.

• 34:53Speaker 05

  Well, Tucker Carlson's gay too because he has a caffeine addiction.

• 34:56Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 34:57Speaker 01

  I, he's a, he's a gay man with a podcast, a caffeine addiction and a history as a Dancing With The Stars contestant. Something I have to keep reminding everyone. These are a list of people who have done Dancing With The Stars, Zendaya, Tucker Carlson.

• 35:12Speaker 05

  Thank you.

• 35:12Speaker 01

  Kim Kardashian.

• 35:13Speaker 05

  I watched Dancing With The Stars for the very first time.

• 35:17Speaker 01

  You loved it.

• 35:17Speaker 05

  Um, I honestly did. Here was the problem. My problem was within watching Dancing With The Stars, watching it in Asheville, North Carolina with my two friends while I was on tour. I had a broken foot. That part is not relevant to the story. It's just more context.

• 35:31Speaker 02

  I want to do that, yeah.

• 35:32Speaker 05

  Break your foot?

• 35:33Speaker 02

  No, no, you're like, you have a broken foot, you're like, I wish, you're watching the dancing people.

• 35:36Speaker 05

  Of course, no, and I do love to dance. And so I was watching Dancing With The Stars with my friend who is a dancer and I was accidentally greening out on what I believed was a synthetic marijuana. And so, and so my friend was also like, hey, Dancing With The Stars episode, I didn't realize is like watching Ben Hur. It's like, yeah, seven to nine hours long. It's really is like a commitment.

• 35:59Speaker 02

  All ABC is like that, but yeah.

• 36:01Speaker 05

  It's like a mini series within itself.

• 36:02Speaker 02

  Right.

• 36:03Speaker 03

  It's like an entire March Madness bracket happens in one episode.

• 36:05Speaker 05

  Yes.

• 36:06Speaker 01

  I mean, there used to be two episodes a week.

• 36:09Speaker 05

  What do you mean?

• 36:09Speaker 01

  They don't do that anymore, but they, it was, it was a performance episode, which was likely still the same duration. And then next night there would be a results episode.

• 36:19Speaker 05

  Well, that's legitimately at that point, durational performance art.

• 36:23Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 36:24Speaker 05

  When you were able to.

• 36:25Speaker 01

  It's tantric television.

• 36:26Speaker 05

  It actually is becoming Kama Sutra. It's like you, you're doing like shabari breathing.

• 36:32Speaker 01

  Yeah, well, that's the thing about it too, is it's like, essentially it is like, let's call the voting very American.

• 36:38Speaker 05

  Sure.

• 36:38Speaker 01

  You know what I mean? It's like, oh, that person was not, is not there because they're the best dancer. They're, they're like being voted for by people who are like, that's me up there.

• 36:46Speaker 05

  Yeah. Well, also, I guess it's like, um, can I do this?

• 36:51Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 36:51Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 36:52Speaker 05

  I just feel like we need to abolish the Electoral College and reinstate call in, just call in.

• 36:58Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 36:59Speaker 05

  Just pick up your phone.

• 37:00Speaker 03

  Well, we are the only two people left on earth who call.

• 37:03Speaker 05

  I'm on the phone as often as possible.

• 37:06Speaker 02

  Thank God for you.

• 37:07Speaker 03

  We cold call, it's very normal to us to use the phone.

• 37:11Speaker 05

  We call each other on the phone almost every day.

• 37:13Speaker 02

  Okay, each other, that's great, but then do you pick up any random number?

• 37:16Speaker 03

  Absolutely.

• 37:17Speaker 05

  Because what if I'm gonna win something?

• 37:19Speaker 03

  It could be Hollywood calling Bowen.

• 37:20Speaker 05

  Exactly, that's really how I feel.

• 37:22Speaker 02

  You're from there, you know how it works.

• 37:23Speaker 03

  I know, and I usually know the area code.

• 37:25Speaker 02

  You know the area code. But thank God for you guys.

• 37:28Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 37:29Speaker 01

  You're keeping it alive because we're not.

• 37:30Speaker 03

  Anytime I've gotten any problem with anything in my life, the phone, calling on the phone has fixed it. They're not expecting you to call and they'll do anything you say once you.

• 37:36Speaker 01

  That is true.

• 37:37Speaker 03

  Once you.

• 37:38Speaker 05

  I really do think that I, it's like, if, if like, if, if, if the student loan number keeps calling you, call back. Call back sob.

• 37:46Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 37:46Speaker 05

  Academy Award of supporting actress levels of crying into your own mouth. Like, I really do believe that you can convince someone almost anything if you meet them voice to voice. No one's expecting that.

• 37:59Speaker 01

  Also, restaurants, um, if you look online and they say they not taking reservations, call, they are.

• 38:07Speaker 05

  I agree.

• 38:08Speaker 02

  But you know what's happening with a lot of restaurants now? Don't have phone numbers.

• 38:12Speaker 03

  Yes, I've discovered that.

• 38:14Speaker 02

  Have you noticed?

• 38:14Speaker 03

  I didn't realize that that was.

• 38:15Speaker 01

  That feels like a crime.

• 38:16Speaker 02

  They're like, or.

• 38:17Speaker 03

  How are you a business and you can't, I can't call you?

• 38:20Speaker 02

  It feels illegal. Hey, ooh.

• 38:22Speaker 03

  Is this illegal?

• 38:24Speaker 02

  It feels illegal.

• 38:25Speaker 03

  It feels legal.

• 38:26Speaker 02

  Let's, it's time to ask the question.

• 38:28Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 38:28Speaker 02

  Okay, and you guys are, you guys have actually really.

• 38:31Speaker 01

  You've done an amazing job querying the question.

• 38:34Speaker 02

  Queering the form, which is a hetero question.

• 38:35Speaker 01

  We appreciated this. We'll start with you, Spike. Spike, what was the culture that made you say? Culture was for me.

• 38:42Speaker 03

  So my brother Honey here and I were on a short hike next to a highway when we were pulling tarot cards and realized, his tarot deck, that realized that we should do an astrological culture breakdown and each have a sun, moon and rising.

• 38:57Speaker 01

  And you've done exactly that.

• 38:58Speaker 05

  Yeah, and I'll, cause picking one is just silly.

• 39:02Speaker 02

  I know.

• 39:02Speaker 05

  That's a little bit silly. Right, of course.

• 39:04Speaker 03

  We're, we're having plurality in our life in every sense, so we're doing this. So my rising, I believe I said was Jackass.

• 39:14Speaker 02

  Amazing.

• 39:15Speaker 03

  My moon is David Lynch.

• 39:17Speaker 02

  Amazing.

• 39:17Speaker 03

  And my sun is the Rocky Horror Picture Show.

• 39:19Speaker 02

  Oh.

• 39:20Speaker 01

  Beautiful.

• 39:21Speaker 03

  Which I was gonna say Best In Show, but I realized the Rocky Horror Picture Show is more true to me.

• 39:25Speaker 01

  And it's crazy, you said that before the news today.

• 39:31Speaker 03

  Well, it's like, I heard the news and it made me pivot because I was like, basically I wasn't saying Rocky Horror because I was like, I'm sure somebody has said that already. And like, it was, but it was so formative to me.

• 39:43Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 39:43Speaker 03

  And I was like, I need to just like give it up for what actually like unlocked me.

• 39:47Speaker 01

  It must be spoken on.

• 39:48Speaker 02

  It must be spoken on. Okay, wait, and then let's get Honey's three and then we'll do like a big sort of Socratic thing.

• 39:53Speaker 01

  Yeah, I like this.

• 39:54Speaker 05

  Okay, so my sun is Jackass.

• 39:57Speaker 02

  Yep.

• 39:58Speaker 05

  My rising is SpongeBob SquarePants.

• 40:00Speaker 01

  Amazing.

• 40:00Speaker 05

  And my moon is Kathy Griffin.

• 40:03Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 40:03Speaker 03

  Yep.

• 40:03Speaker 02

  Dag. Okay, so let's start with the overlap, Jackass.

• 40:06Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 40:06Speaker 02

  Did you guys see Best and Last?

• 40:08Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 40:09Speaker 02

  Um, mixed reception, I guess, because people were like, it's a clip show, but I think it's actually a beautiful, uh, sort of meditation on like, middle age, male middle age.

• 40:16Speaker 01

  Wow, that's interesting.

• 40:17Speaker 05

  Is that the most recent one?

• 40:17Speaker 02

  Yeah, like the best and last.

• 40:19Speaker 05

  No, I didn't see that one because I don't want it to end.

• 40:23Speaker 03

  That was.

• 40:24Speaker 02

  It's quite emotional.

• 40:25Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 40:25Speaker 03

  I big time wish that I hadn't seen it because now I live in that.

• 40:30Speaker 05

  I really don't want it to end.

• 40:31Speaker 01

  You believe that they've reached finality there?

• 40:33Speaker 02

  They treat it that way.

• 40:35Speaker 03

  They say that.

• 40:35Speaker 01

  A lot of people say that, though.

• 40:36Speaker 03

  That's why I refuse.

• 40:37Speaker 05

  I think they have to, health-wise.

• 40:39Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah, they literally. It's like their neurologist told them they can't do it anymore.

• 40:42Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 40:42Speaker 03

  And their proctologist and their, like, gastroenterologist, everybody was like, please stop.

• 40:47Speaker 05

  Exactly, your psychopharapist.

• 40:48Speaker 03

  No.

• 40:48Speaker 01

  For your proctologist to be a person in your life at all is already humbling. For them to have a strong opinion about what you do is really jarring.

• 40:59Speaker 05

  Well, in this one. Your penalologist is like, you can't keep mashing it like that.

• 41:02Speaker 03

  You have to go la-la the penis.

• 41:04Speaker 05

  You have to leave your penis intact.

• 41:06Speaker 01

  La-la the penis.

• 41:07Speaker 05

  Yes.

• 41:08Speaker 02

  Well, in this one, they have, um, someone controlling an android giving a rectal exam to, I think, Steve-O?

• 41:13Speaker 03

  Yeah, or something.

• 41:14Speaker 02

  Or Chris Pontius or something?

• 41:15Speaker 03

  There was also some jumping the shark moments in this new one that made me feel like, what the?

• 41:19Speaker 01

  What were those?

• 41:20Speaker 02

  Because they were playing a lot of clips and like.

• 41:22Speaker 03

  The fucking robot.

• 41:23Speaker 02

  Yeah, the robot, the robot.

• 41:24Speaker 03

  Why do you guys have a sassy robot? This isn't Guardians of the fucking Galaxy. Like, get me back to the time when I could see the bloodshot rim of your eyes.

• 41:32Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 41:33Speaker 03

  Because you had been doing.

• 41:33Speaker 05

  I want blood.

• 41:34Speaker 03

  Exactly, I need blood.

• 41:35Speaker 05

  It wasn't, I mean, it's, I mean, it really is, it's a queer awakening, it's a trans awakening, it's a BDSM awakening.

• 41:42Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 41:42Speaker 05

  It's a DIY awakening.

• 41:44Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 41:45Speaker 03

  Wow.

• 41:45Speaker 05

  All you really need are your best friends and a camera.

• 41:49Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 41:49Speaker 05

  And ideas. And randomly, an extremely elevated knowledge of physics.

• 41:56Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 41:56Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 41:57Speaker 05

  But it's also, they're like, literally like, chemical engineers.

• 42:00Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 42:00Speaker 02

  And there's something about, like, the mystic aspect of, like, death, or more, just whatever. It's obviously death-defying, but like, the movie opens on the original first conception of Jackass, which was Johnny and his friends fucking around, and he was like, I'm gonna do a stunt when we're gonna film, or where I'm out in the canyon, and I shoot myself with a gun.

• 42:22Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 42:23Speaker 02

  And everyone's like, Johnny, stop that, stop that, I don't like this, I don't like this, like, the gun's not firing, and they're like, this is, this is, I can't handle this, I can't handle this, you might die, you might die. And he's like, no, I'm doing it, shoots himself because he puts like, I don't know, like, two books.

• 42:35Speaker 03

  Bulletproof vest or something.

• 42:36Speaker 02

  Like a vest, like some sort of padding, it doesn't kill him, obviously, and then they like rush to the car, and they're like, oh my god, I feel crazy, and that is like, MTV wouldn't let them air that, but that's like the true beginning of Jackass, and you go, oh my god, this is like an incredible thing over decades.

• 42:51Speaker 01

  The proof of concept.

• 42:52Speaker 02

  The proof of concept.

• 42:52Speaker 05

  No, but that is magic, because it's, I mean, it's what you're saying, like, allowing your life to accelerate based on risks that you take.

• 43:01Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 43:01Speaker 05

  It's like, I took a risk and I survived, so now I'm gonna take another one.

• 43:04Speaker 03

  Yeah, and also.

• 43:05Speaker 05

  It's like, that's beautiful, it's ideology.

• 43:06Speaker 03

  Being, like, this pain that I'll experience is one that I engineered, is not a, it's like a luxury, actually, to be like, because like, we're all going through life experiencing so much pain that we didn't choose.

• 43:18Speaker 02

  Totally.

• 43:18Speaker 03

  To be able to elect to experience pain is ecstatic.

• 43:22Speaker 05

  And do that homoerotically with your best friend.

• 43:25Speaker 02

  They're so bad.

• 43:26Speaker 03

  And being like, full, with your nu-nu out, yeah.

• 43:28Speaker 05

  Of course.

• 43:29Speaker 01

  I had never really thought about it as one of those things that was happening at that time that clearly affected the way that I was experiencing, wrapping my head around my gayness. Because it did feel like, it felt like.

• 43:43Speaker 05

  They were naked, they were like.

• 43:44Speaker 01

  They were completely naked. And their homoeroticism was something that I felt that they were getting away with, because they were straight.

• 43:52Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 43:52Speaker 01

  And I remembered what that did to me at my age, it drove me a little nuts, but it did have me watching it.

• 43:57Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 43:58Speaker 01

  You know, and also, I'm sure there was like, synapses firing, I'm positive I was jacking off to Pontius.

• 44:04Speaker 03

  Jacking off to Jackass.

• 44:04Speaker 02

  So hot.

• 44:05Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 44:05Speaker 05

  And also.

• 44:06Speaker 03

  Oh, Chris Pontius.

• 44:07Speaker 05

  And exposing so much culture.

• 44:09Speaker 03

  As they say.

• 44:09Speaker 05

  Legitimately, like, I know John Waters because of Jackass.

• 44:13Speaker 03

  Mmm. I know the Misfits because of Jackass.

• 44:16Speaker 05

  Uh, yeah, I mean, just like the scope of culture that exists within it, I feel really grateful for.

• 44:21Speaker 02

  Skate culture because of Bam or Jera.

• 44:23Speaker 05

  Definitely.

• 44:23Speaker 02

  Even that's interesting, because like, he wouldn't be, because like, they had a falling out, but he was like, you can use the archive footage, and like, he like, they invited him to the premiere, he didn't go, but he was like, I wish it well, it's like, even that's like, oh, this is like male friendship, sort of like, it's like, it's, oh my god, this is what the movie is, it's like, it's a Linklater piece.

• 44:39Speaker 03

  Yeah, definitely.

• 44:40Speaker 02

  It's like, look at this.

• 44:41Speaker 05

  Slacker.

• 44:41Speaker 02

  Slacker.

• 44:42Speaker 05

  You're watching people forever on your VHS, and it's like, how do I fill my time with like, 75 cents and some bloodlust?

• 44:51Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 44:51Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 44:51Speaker 05

  I'm gonna be, I'm gonna push my friend down the stairs and shove a term up his ass.

• 44:55Speaker 01

  Up his ass.

• 44:55Speaker 05

  Yes.

• 44:56Speaker 01

  Johnny Knoxville is, well, they're all like, pop culture icons, but not only is he like, incredibly iconic because of that show, but sometimes he'll just turn performances and things where I'm like, oh, you really talented actor?

• 45:09Speaker 05

  He's gifted.

• 45:10Speaker 01

  It's so cool to me when someone has that talent, but they have like, a full other expanse of things going on there, and that Jackass is like, his passion project, and the real, the thing that he like, will go down in history for, despite the fact that it fully, that guy could have like, walked into sitcoms as the neighbor all the time and said something.

• 45:33Speaker 05

  The wacky neighbor.

• 45:33Speaker 01

  Yeah, literally.

• 45:34Speaker 05

  He could have been Kramer.

• 45:36Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 45:37Speaker 05

  But instead, he genital, he genitally mutilated.

• 45:39Speaker 03

  Yeah, he was like, instead of, instead of like, jumping into the apartment, he was like, evading a bull's horns.

• 45:45Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 45:45Speaker 03

  Exactly.

• 45:46Speaker 01

  God.

• 45:46Speaker 03

  It's also like, what I think of too, is like, that is how you know that what they were doing was art, is like, now we look back and it's like, oh, well, that happened to be art, and not everyone when they're making art knows that they're doing it.

• 45:56Speaker 02

  Right.

• 45:56Speaker 03

  But also, just like, proliferating your ability to create is like, the mark of an artist. And now society wants you to be like, do your one thing, have it be 30 seconds, and then it scrolled away from, and this is like, I'm gonna act, I'm gonna get hit in the nuts, like, I'm gonna be dressed as a grandpa, and like, have my nuts could do like, a windmill at a strip club, like, that's an artist, me.

• 46:17Speaker 05

  Definitely.

• 46:18Speaker 01

  You know what I tie it to in my mind, is like, it happened at that moment in time as well, and you never would think, like, decades later, we'd still be talking about it, is Fast and the Furious. Like, Fast and the Furious and Jackass, when that shit was popping off, you could never have told me.

• 46:33Speaker 05

  And I do think it is.

• 46:34Speaker 01

  That these would be cultural institutions.

• 46:36Speaker 05

  It is the male friendship, it like.

• 46:38Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 46:39Speaker 05

  Fast and Furious is. 100, which, go hand in hand, because all men are gay, more on that later.

• 46:45Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 46:45Speaker 05

  More on that, more on that later.

• 46:47Speaker 03

  And we welcome you if you're disappointed.

• 46:48Speaker 01

  Stay with us.

• 46:49Speaker 05

  But Fast and Furious is the cure to the male loneliness epidemic.

• 46:53Speaker 02

  Sorry.

• 46:54Speaker 01

  Oh my fly.

• 46:54Speaker 05

  No, definitely.

• 46:55Speaker 01

  Yeah, sorry, sorry.

• 46:56Speaker 05

  Like, if you're lonely with your guys, you should just be like, street racing a Maserati, and like, probably shave your head.

• 47:02Speaker 03

  Do some donuts.

• 47:03Speaker 05

  Exactly.

• 47:04Speaker 03

  If you're feeling male loneliness, do some fucking donuts.

• 47:06Speaker 05

  Yeah, and Vin Diesel's Instagram presence is one of the, I could cry just thinking about it. He's a Cancer, I don't know if y'all believe in astrology.

• 47:15Speaker 02

  Of course.

• 47:15Speaker 05

  But truly, he is moving with the ocean's pull, like, that man is the moon.

• 47:20Speaker 01

  Well, that's why we have always said that, so we are like, what is it called, the tri?

• 47:25Speaker 02

  The tri?

• 47:26Speaker 01

  The treen.

• 47:27Speaker 02

  The treen.

• 47:27Speaker 01

  The treen, I am Pisces, Bo is Scorpio, and Vin Diesel is Cancer.

• 47:31Speaker 05

  No, that is the triumvirate right there.

• 47:34Speaker 01

  We have the tri.

• 47:35Speaker 02

  The vortex of water.

• 47:36Speaker 05

  Every day, he posts a black and white picture of himself with a caption that would bring you to your knees.

• 47:41Speaker 03

  Absolutely.

• 47:42Speaker 02

  He's still, I thought this was something that he was doing like, in 2012, but he's still doing this.

• 47:45Speaker 01

  He's our Arnold Schwarzenegger, and we need to actually start saying it out loud, like, the fact that like, like, you ever watch Triple X?

• 47:53Speaker 05

  Of course.

• 47:54Speaker 01

  Okay, when he, he gets like, he goes to someplace where he's like, doing, working with the people, and he goes into his room, and there's just a woman, the, one of the hottest one you've ever seen, I think even I got erect for her. Like, she's like, writhing on a four-post bed, like, and then she like, throws stuff on the bed, and she like, puts her fucking hole in this guy, and he just.

• 48:13Speaker 03

  It's all he said, hey?

• 48:14Speaker 01

  And he just, he just goes, he looks at her, takes his shirt off, looks at her and goes, I think I'm gonna enjoy this.

• 48:21Speaker 03

  That's so good.

• 48:23Speaker 01

  And that's it, and I'm like, I'm sorry, but it's Al Bivak-coded.

• 48:27Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 48:28Speaker 01

  It's like, Vin Diesel.

• 48:29Speaker 05

  But we don't get sexuality like that anymore.

• 48:30Speaker 03

  No.

• 48:31Speaker 05

  We really don't.

• 48:32Speaker 03

  Even though they cut away, it's like, you know that they were.

• 48:34Speaker 01

  Because they're convinced, we, I think they're convinced that we, as.

• 48:39Speaker 01

  Audiences don't want to see sex.

• 48:42Speaker 05

  I think it's the other way around. They've convinced us that we don't want to see sex.

• 48:45Speaker 01

  Oh, interesting.

• 48:47Speaker 03

  And they're, and they made us like also afraid to lock into it. We're not having that fear.

• 48:52Speaker 05

  No, they made us scared of sex.

• 48:54Speaker 02

  They made us scared of sex. Well, I think it's also that they maybe expect or assume that we are getting in other places like, like porn and OnlyFans.

• 49:02Speaker 01

  And we're not.

• 49:02Speaker 02

  And we are, but I'm, I'm like, I think I'm like falling off of like porn a little bit. I'm like, I'm gonna, you know what, you know what Stephanie Shuen College said to me once? She was like, oh, you guys watch porn? I don't know. You guys watch porn when you masturbate? I don't know. It's just, nothing's better than your own imagination. And I was like.

• 49:18Speaker 01

  So Steph Coated, Rocky Horror.

• 49:23Speaker 03

  Meanwhile, let's see her browser history, cause I'm gonna.

• 49:26Speaker 01

  She was young.

• 49:27Speaker 02

  She's young.

• 49:28Speaker 03

  False flag waving in the breeze. She's saying, yeah, she's got the homepage up. Tab, tab, tab, tab. I know she's cranking to some.

• 49:36Speaker 01

  I just saw her in Rocky Horror and that was not just imagination. I know pornography was watched.

• 49:41Speaker 03

  Definitely.

• 49:41Speaker 02

  Was watched.

• 49:42Speaker 03

  She watched the XXX Seinfeld parody.

• 49:46Speaker 01

  Wow, what is that like?

• 49:47Speaker 03

  Um, we can talk about it off pod.

• 49:52Speaker 01

  This ad is sponsored by Vive Healthcare.

• 49:55Speaker 02

  Time for some prep wisdom.

• 49:56Speaker 01

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• 50:03Speaker 02

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• 50:09Speaker 01

  That's why you need to talk to your doctor and know what to ask. So here's some prep wisdom.

• 50:13Speaker 02

  Did you know there's more to consider about long acting injectable prep options than how often you get it? Also, why you want to take it matters. Your lifestyle matters, your routine, your chaos level, your, I might forget my own birthday energy. All of it counts.

• 50:26Speaker 01

  Basically, talk to your doctor. Have the conversation, ask the questions, be a little nosy about your own health. It's allowed, encouraged even. Okay, did you write all that down?

• 50:35Speaker 02

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• 50:36Speaker 01

  Don't worry.

• 50:36Speaker 02

  Just head to getprepwisdom.com to learn what to ask your doctor. That's getprepwisdom.com.

• 50:42Speaker 01

  You probably think dressing well takes lots of money or lots of time spent digging through thrift stores.

• 50:47Speaker 02

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• 50:56Speaker 01

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• 51:14Speaker 01

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• 51:45Speaker 01

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• 51:49Speaker 02

  Yeah, like when you order chicken fingers, you don't get fingers, you get mystery nuggets.

• 51:54Speaker 01

  Exactly. Well, except hotels.com.

• 51:57Speaker 02

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• 52:00Speaker 01

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• 52:01Speaker 02

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• 52:07Speaker 01

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• 52:10Speaker 02

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• 52:17Speaker 01

  Okay, that tracks.

• 52:18Speaker 02

  Hotels.com, it's all in the name.

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  Ever wondered how to cruise? And I'm not talking about boats. Season four of Sniffy's Cruising Confessions is finally here and it's hotter, smarter and spicier than ever.

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• 52:58Speaker 01

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• 53:09Speaker 02

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• 53:13Speaker 01

  Listen to Sniffy's Cruising Confessions now on the iHeartRadio app, wherever you get your podcasts.

• 53:19Speaker 02

  New episodes every Tuesday, sponsored by Healthy Sexual from Gilead Sciences. Okay, Rocky Horror, talk about Rocky Horror.

• 53:25Speaker 03

  Yeah, Rocky Horror Picture Show had me sneaking out the damn dog door when I was 14 years old to go see it.

• 53:30Speaker 02

  For the midnight.

• 53:30Speaker 05

  Really?

• 53:30Speaker 03

  Yes, at the New Art Theater in Los Angeles. When, my house had the alarm where when you opened the door, it went beep. Do you know, like?

• 53:37Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, sure.

• 53:37Speaker 03

  It went beep. It went beep when you opened the door in my house. Anybody ever?

• 53:40Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 53:42Speaker 01

  I had a house that beeped.

• 53:42Speaker 03

  You had a house that beeped.

• 53:43Speaker 05

  That's so.

• 53:44Speaker 02

  Yeah, I guess that doesn't happen anymore. They don't beep.

• 53:46Speaker 05

  My house, my house did not beep.

• 53:47Speaker 02

  My house did not beep.

• 53:48Speaker 05

  My, my house at night was just snores. It's like, that's.

• 53:51Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 53:52Speaker 05

  There was no beep.

• 53:52Speaker 02

  So then you, that was like.

• 53:54Speaker 03

  We had medium sized dogs, so at the time I could fit through the dog door and I would go sneak out around the back of my house and like go take the bus down to the New Art Theater in LA and catch the shadow cast of Rocky Horror. And like.

• 54:05Speaker 02

  Oh my god.

• 54:06Speaker 03

  I went for the first time with like a, or a middle school friend and their mom chaperoned us. And we got like the V for virgin, like written on my face. It was like, first time ever seeing people like cross dress and like people throwing rice and like all the stuff at the screen and, and shouting along. And it was like, the sense of community and it's one of those things that tells you you're gay before you know you're gay.

• 54:26Speaker 02

  Of course.

• 54:26Speaker 03

  And I was just getting like so mercilessly, people being like, you're gay. And I was like, no, I'm a wolf. Like, didn't know like what that could be, but it was like finding through there. I was like, oh, I actually am like this and this reflection and never liked musicals before.

• 54:40Speaker 02

  Yep.

• 54:40Speaker 03

  Besides like, I guess Disney. Just like realizing that that was like the place for freaks to go.

• 54:45Speaker 02

  Yep.

• 54:45Speaker 03

  That I felt immediately like accepted and belonged. And it's like, it was a rockin' good time.

• 54:50Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 54:50Speaker 02

  And the portal.

• 54:52Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 54:52Speaker 02

  And it's rock and roll.

• 54:53Speaker 03

  I mean, Eddie is actually my favorite part of the whole thing.

• 54:55Speaker 02

  Really?

• 54:56Speaker 03

  Yes, when he comes out of the freezer at Meatloaf.

• 54:58Speaker 05

  Up today. It's amazing.

• 55:00Speaker 03

  Whatever happened to Saturday night? Yes.

• 55:02Speaker 02

  But then, but your portal to that world was literally you as a dog.

• 55:07Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 55:07Speaker 02

  Going through the dog door.

• 55:08Speaker 03

  And becoming human in, under the cover of night.

• 55:11Speaker 02

  Under the.

• 55:11Speaker 03

  Yes. That was the first time I ever put on eyeliner was to go.

• 55:15Speaker 02

  Hot.

• 55:16Speaker 03

  Like I was, and I was getting scared because it was like a girl who was my friend and she was coming up with a pencil. And I was like, oh my God, but I want to do this so bad.

• 55:23Speaker 01

  So it was friends of yours that told you what it was?

• 55:26Speaker 03

  They were like, come to this thing. It's really late at night. Like my mom will take us. And after that, I was just like, I'm going by myself.

• 55:30Speaker 05

  It's like a rave that way. It's like, it's like you're, you're, you're getting put into this secret society that happens at midnight. You only know if you have the password and then you get to be trans.

• 55:40Speaker 03

  It was also like all ages. So there was like, there were people who were like in their 50s there with like, in like amazing like leather and like all these outfits. I was like, okay, so y'all are like hitting this up and I'm 14 years old being like, whoa, like I'm having intergenerational hangout.

• 55:57Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 55:58Speaker 03

  I would never, where was I gonna be? Like at the bar with them? Like, no, I was gonna be at Rocky Horror.

• 56:02Speaker 02

  Right.

• 56:03Speaker 01

  It gives so much permission.

• 56:04Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 56:05Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 56:05Speaker 03

  Give yourself over to absolute pleasure. That's what they say in the song.

• 56:09Speaker 02

  Okay. Kathy Griffin.

• 56:11Speaker 05

  Kathy Griffin. I was.

• 56:13Speaker 02

  Cause you guys were talking about this on straighter lab. You're like, she's back.

• 56:15Speaker 05

  Yeah. I love her a lot.

• 56:18Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 56:18Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 56:18Speaker 05

  She, it's like, I was obsessed with my life on the D-list. I would watch it compulsively. And I'm just really, I was really influenced and moved almost like philosophically by someone being at the axis of as talented as she is, but as desperate as she is.

• 56:37Speaker 02

  Wow.

• 56:38Speaker 05

  Like I, that is so magical where it's like, all you want is what you have and you're so vulnerable and how hard it is for you every day. And she's like a true outsider where it's like, you're at the A-list function, being like ignored and you're not on the list, but you're supposed to be, you're not being let in. And I just like, think that she's in this like really self-aware house of mirrors. And her, I mean, her, she's also like a storyteller, like that's like her standup. And like, that's kind of more of what mine is too. Where I'm like, if I can live an interesting and vulnerable enough life, then I'll have the life that I want.

• 57:20Speaker 02

  That's amazing. But also the, the missing step there for you both is that you guys are good at metabolizing the life into like an anecdote she has about meeting Celine Dion or whatever. You know what I mean? It's like, sure, right. She is this like outsider. I wonder what her chart is. Like she must.

• 57:34Speaker 05

  Scorpio.

• 57:36Speaker 02

  Makes sense. I'm sure, I'm sure her other, I'm sure she has like planets in like exile or whatever.

• 57:42Speaker 05

  And her with the Trump head.

• 57:44Speaker 03

  No, that's, that's us.

• 57:45Speaker 05

  It's literally like, why are you Sinead O'Connor?

• 57:49Speaker 02

  Literally.

• 57:50Speaker 05

  Like cutting up the Pope.

• 57:51Speaker 03

  Being like, fight the real enemy. Kathy Griffin also said, fight the real enemy.

• 57:56Speaker 01

  Well, it's kind of funny that like the people that, that really, that have the most like arduous relationships with Trump and therefore like lost pretty much everything that they had as a result of that power dynamic to be, becoming what it unfortunately became, were female comics.

• 58:15Speaker 02

  Rosie, Kathy.

• 58:16Speaker 01

  Between Rosie and Kathy and like you, I'm, I'm sure he's not kind about legions of other ones, but just to speak on those too, we were just talking, cause Rosie's now having her moment again.

• 58:26Speaker 05

  Loving.

• 58:26Speaker 01

  Like, but the fact that he could only think and seek to destroy these women who literally their job is to call out exactly what he is and everything about him. And he just could not have that. And that's like one of the great losses of our culture, I think.

• 58:45Speaker 03

  It's, yeah, it also like corresponds to like her arc of being like talented enough and good enough and better than a lot of what we're like told is the best and is A-list. But getting knocked down because she has a commitment to the truth that supersedes the ability to lie to get success, which I think.

• 59:01Speaker 05

  Yes.

• 59:01Speaker 03

  Yes. Me are kind of rocking in a way.

• 59:03Speaker 01

  No, it's, it's really, it's, it's one of the most fascinating. Things I think you lions, I think you see people walk nowadays.

• 59:09Speaker 05

  Yeah, and it also is like, yeah, I feel like now in order to be as famous as you would be to be like a Kathy Griffin. It's like you aren't allowed to like call something you see in the red carpet ugly. Everyone has to be in this kind of like banality where you're constantly like curtseying to everybody else. Cause you're in this like you're, you're, you're in anxiety that you will get taken down by speaking about who you are. But she was like, you're ugly, I'm ugly, I'm gonna walk around my like LA mansion with no eyebrows. Like Dave Attell can call me a whore. You know what I mean? It's like, yeah, legitimately. So I just was like, cause I, yeah, I, I loved her and you know, I once had an astrologer. Tell me that I seek validation from the same systems I want to destroy.

• 59:54Speaker 05

  And that feels like Kathy.

• 59:56Speaker 01

  That's that is, well, it's also like she, she, she was really kind of a pioneer. And this is also why she's the daughter of Joan Rivers, I feel, because she was making the entertainment industry. And the endeavor to ride the waves in it, her art. That literally was her art, like it is.

• 1:00:14Speaker 05

  It's performance art.

• 1:00:19Speaker 01

  It's like my, it's warholian in a way. It's sort of like, I'm going to assess the situation here and it is going to become my painting. Like, and this, this is what I see. And then when that became untenable, because it all got too tied up in like, you know, money and systems of power, et cetera. There wasn't anywhere for her to go because the truth would get her canceled.

• 1:00:43Speaker 03

  It needs to be like new dream Rocky Horror Shadowcast, like Kathy Griffin, Magenta. Lady Gaga, riffraff.

• 1:00:52Speaker 01

  Lady Gaga Frankenfurter.

• 1:00:55Speaker 03

  Well, I was gonna say Johnny Knoxville Frankenfurter.

• 1:00:57Speaker 02

  Oh, hot.

• 1:00:58Speaker 03

  But.

• 1:00:58Speaker 01

  Honestly, I would love to see the take on it.

• 1:01:00Speaker 03

  Yeah, exactly.

• 1:01:01Speaker 01

  For real, actually.

• 1:01:02Speaker 05

  I like Wayne Brady Frankenfurter.

• 1:01:05Speaker 03

  Wayne Brady Brad.

• 1:01:07Speaker 05

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:01:07Speaker 01

  Wayne Brady Brad is about to start. I will say Luke Evans fucking killed it. Killed it. I had no idea he had all that.

• 1:01:14Speaker 02

  Cause I didn't realize, I didn't see Beauty and the Beast.

• 1:01:17Speaker 01

  I mean, he was, everything about Beauty and the Beast was perfectly fine.

• 1:01:20Speaker 02

  Right.

• 1:01:21Speaker 01

  Um, that was like before Disney started abusing the remake of it all and actually was like kind of okay. He was in it and like, he, he gave like a spirited take on Gaston, but I wasn't like, wow, he's amazing. You see him in this.

• 1:01:32Speaker 03

  No eggs.

• 1:01:33Speaker 01

  As Frank, wild. Just huge, you know, eggs.

• 1:01:37Speaker 03

  No eggs, no eggs in that.

• 1:01:38Speaker 01

  You get no eggs from me. No eggs in your basket.

• 1:01:41Speaker 02

  Zero. Um, okay, now, David Lynch.

• 1:01:46Speaker 03

  Like Portal to Another World, it's also like all these things that I'm saying that are culture for me were also like stuff that saved me. Like Jackass definitely saved me, like Rocky Horror Picture Show definitely saved me. Cause I feel like I would have just like been absorbed in the fact that I really didn't fit in like in LA being as like wolf. Space alien as I was.

• 1:02:05Speaker 02

  You were just spared in Wolf.

• 1:02:07Speaker 03

  I was, I was medically random.

• 1:02:09Speaker 01

  Yeah, meeping around, being random.

• 1:02:12Speaker 03

  I was biting kids. It was not good.

• 1:02:15Speaker 02

  You guys are biters.

• 1:02:18Speaker 01

  I bite less now, but I bite.

• 1:02:19Speaker 03

  Yeah, no, I'm still biting. My sister got mad at me the other day for biting. Anyway.

• 1:02:23Speaker 02

  You bit her?

• 1:02:24Speaker 01

  What did she do?

• 1:02:24Speaker 02

  On the arm?

• 1:02:25Speaker 03

  On the arm, she really, and I'm not gonna do it again. On record, I'm not gonna do it again.

• 1:02:28Speaker 01

  No problem. We will bite her.

• 1:02:31Speaker 05

  I heart contract.

• 1:02:33Speaker 03

  She's gonna be so happy that I said I would never bite her again because I was basically threatening that I was. It's okay.

• 1:02:37Speaker 01

  Was she legitimately upset or was?

• 1:02:40Speaker 03

  I don't think, I think biting feels good for me and not for others.

• 1:02:43Speaker 02

  So when Matt would bite me, I'd be like, stop.

• 1:02:46Speaker 05

  He was biting you.

• 1:02:46Speaker 02

  He was biting me on the arm. It's only, it's only over the arm.

• 1:02:49Speaker 03

  It's only over the arm now for me, yes. Used to be.

• 1:02:52Speaker 02

  Others.

• 1:02:53Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:02:53Speaker 01

  I would leave a mark though.

• 1:02:55Speaker 03

  I've tasted blood.

• 1:02:56Speaker 01

  And I want more.

• 1:02:59Speaker 02

  Matt would bite me and then I would be like, Matt, stop. And then now I'm like, oh.

• 1:03:07Speaker 01

  I said, it's a line from Destiny Fulfilled, the album. You're gonna miss me when I'm gone.

• 1:03:12Speaker 03

  When I'm, when my teeth marks fade away.

• 1:03:14Speaker 01

  Yeah, my teeth marks fade away. What I said to him all the time, one day I'll be dead.

• 1:03:18Speaker 03

  So let me bite. Let me bite while I'm alive.

• 1:03:22Speaker 05

  I mean, I think.

• 1:03:22Speaker 01

  Lightly morning today.

• 1:03:23Speaker 05

  I think that guilt is a really powerful way to get what we want.

• 1:03:27Speaker 02

  Well, also it's like, it was like a self identifying, so like.

• 1:03:29Speaker 03

  Using Jewish guilt to let my friends bite.

• 1:03:31Speaker 05

  There we go.

• 1:03:32Speaker 03

  Oh, but one day I won't be alive. I just gotta bite.

• 1:03:34Speaker 02

  You leave the room, you walk away.

• 1:03:36Speaker 03

  Have a little nibble or I'll just, no, I'll be just here and I'll need it.

• 1:03:39Speaker 02

  So I, I was like, Matt, don't do that. And then he goes, and then he hits me and goes, I am the biter.

• 1:03:46Speaker 01

  Biter's in show.

• 1:03:48Speaker 03

  Writing notes over what to do next time someone's gonna let me bite.

• 1:03:50Speaker 01

  You have to tell people, you have to.

• 1:03:52Speaker 03

  I am the biter.

• 1:03:53Speaker 02

  I am the biter.

• 1:03:53Speaker 01

  Hannah will just have to accept you for who you are.

• 1:03:55Speaker 03

  I know.

• 1:03:56Speaker 01

  A biter.

• 1:03:57Speaker 03

  Say and say that again.

• 1:04:00Speaker 02

  Is there a lot of biting in David Lynch? I feel like, yeah.

• 1:04:02Speaker 03

  There, well, okay. David, I feel like David Lynch has a lot of teeth gnashing.

• 1:04:06Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:04:07Speaker 03

  It's all like, ah, crazy men. But I, that was, what catalyst of that for me was, was that like, I had a really influential person in my life who was the like teacher's apprentice of a standup comedy class that I took when I was 15. That met at the improv in Los Angeles.

• 1:04:23Speaker 02

  Sure.

• 1:04:24Speaker 03

  At during the day where no one was there. And I like wrote jokes there. We had like a showcase. It was awesome. I was like, okay, so I'm gonna be stand up forever. Don't need to go to college. That's not true. And basically he was the teacher's assistant and we formed a relationship outside of the class. He taught me how to shoplift, like it was very, like we shoplifted, we shoplifted Fight Club together from Best Buy and then watched it.

• 1:04:45Speaker 05

  Shoplifting.

• 1:04:46Speaker 03

  Oh, my god.

• 1:04:47Speaker 05

  It's so hard now.

• 1:04:48Speaker 01

  I tried once and it didn't go well. I just tried to steal ice cream.

• 1:04:52Speaker 03

  Oh, sorry.

• 1:04:54Speaker 05

  An ice cream bar like from Mr. Softy, you just like started running.

• 1:04:57Speaker 03

  It was melting.

• 1:04:59Speaker 01

  It was a bodega. I think, I think we were like 22.

• 1:05:02Speaker 03

  Right.

• 1:05:02Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:05:03Speaker 01

  And the guy caught me.

• 1:05:04Speaker 02

  Best Buy is the right place to shoplift.

• 1:05:05Speaker 03

  And he was doing it so cool.

• 1:05:07Speaker 05

  Shoplift big.

• 1:05:07Speaker 03

  He was like, he was like opening the DVD and like talking to me as he like stole the DVD of it. And then we watched Fight Club and I was like, whoa, I'm a, I'm like, I'm definitely male. And then, um, basically we like formed this relationship where we would watch movies and he was like older than me. So we were like exchanging a lot of culture and I rented from Cinephile in Los Angeles, very close to the New Art Theater where I would see. It's also just me being like, I'm from LA, like please. Also, all these places don't exist. Um, or maybe some of them do. Like I rented, um, Wild at Heart, Mulholland Drive, Eraserhead, and I think.

• 1:05:41Speaker 02

  Lost Highway?

• 1:05:42Speaker 03

  Blue Velvet. And, yeah, and I rented them all and we were gonna like movie marathon it together.

• 1:05:47Speaker 02

  That's a huge marathon.

• 1:05:49Speaker 03

  I went to his house and, cause he wasn't picking up his phone and I left it on his car. And basically he never got back to me because he had overdosed and died. And, um, I ended up movie marathoning it, um, with my friend from high school who had, like, we were planning to hang out the next day. And when I found out, and I just like locked in and like sublimated my grief through the films. And it felt like I like shifted into another world. And I also became like completely unrelatable to the other people my age, cause like no one had marathon for David Lynch movies in that year of school, I guess.

• 1:06:21Speaker 05

  While like metabolizing insane grief.

• 1:06:22Speaker 03

  Insane grief of like someone, someone who like encouraged me to do standup, who I like still am like thanking him for like not like giving up on me in that sense and being like, you have a unique perspective and all these things. When I was in a back brace, like, like couldn't be more untouchable as like a person who went to high school in LA, like in a back brace. My hair doesn't do the side bangs correctly because it's curly, like, you know, whatever. And just finding.

• 1:06:46Speaker 05

  Amazing.

• 1:06:47Speaker 03

  No, to you, yes. To them, no. Like, um, finding David Lynch movies that like, it was just like seeing how that world was. And it's the only way that I've seen LA accurately reflected in film.

• 1:06:58Speaker 02

  Interesting.

• 1:06:59Speaker 03

  Like it really is, I was like, oh, that's my city. When it's like weird writing on the wall.

• 1:07:03Speaker 05

  For you?

• 1:07:06Speaker 02

  So accurate, that movie.

• 1:07:08Speaker 03

  It wasn't gonna be the like, like robot closet in clues.

• 1:07:11Speaker 02

  Right, right, right.

• 1:07:12Speaker 03

  That was cool, but that wasn't my dream, I should say.

• 1:07:16Speaker 01

  I had a house that beeped, but a closet didn't rotate.

• 1:07:18Speaker 03

  My closet didn't move, but my house did beep. So out the dog door I went. But yeah, it's like, it was just something like, and also just seeing like the strangeness that I felt in having experienced like some, a loss that big. And just seeing these stories, these people like in Blue Velvet, like watching from the perspective of him like hiding in the closet while like the Frank like horrible assault scene happens and like watching Lost Highway later and being like, oh my god, like there's a portal in this person's head and another person enters and like going to a party and a scary stranger calling you on the phone while he's still in front of you. It was like.

• 1:07:52Speaker 02

  Oh, my god, that's, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:07:53Speaker 03

  That scene.

• 1:07:54Speaker 02

  So I, so ever since Sarah Sherman came on this podcast and schooled us the day David Lynch died.

• 1:07:58Speaker 03

  Yes. Oh, January 20th.

• 1:07:59Speaker 02

  January 20th.

• 1:08:00Speaker 03

  Which I, which I almost canceled our tour on.

• 1:08:02Speaker 01

  Entire tour.

• 1:08:03Speaker 03

  Because the fires had started in LA.

• 1:08:05Speaker 02

  And Trump wasn't re inaugurated.

• 1:08:07Speaker 03

  And I was like, I was like, hey, so I can't.

• 1:08:10Speaker 01

  Don't think I can go on.

• 1:08:12Speaker 02

  Tough day.

• 1:08:13Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:08:13Speaker 01

  Stage or life.

• 1:08:14Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:08:15Speaker 02

  I've like lightly, like I've micro dusted on Lynch. And like, the final boss is like, is Twin Peaks.

• 1:08:20Speaker 01

  Yeah, I was, I was gonna ask you about Twin Peaks, just in, when, when you think about mourning. Because you have a, a very strong relationship with him, obviously, as a figure in your life and you lost him. And then you're engaging with Twin Peaks, which is about that.

• 1:08:36Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:08:36Speaker 01

  Um, what's, what's your relationship with that?

• 1:08:39Speaker 03

  With Twin Peaks in general? I mean, that was also like one of the most, it was also like a way that I always feel like because I've never felt like a girl, like really clear examples of like womanhood and girlhood are really attractive to me to like absorb.

• 1:08:51Speaker 01

  Right.

• 1:08:52Speaker 03

  And like Laura Palmer as this like, I idolized in death, but with like a dark secret, like perfect girl on the outside, but like deeply troubled like thing. I was always like, oh my god. And like consuming that felt very like, close to like the beginning of like a diva worship thing.

• 1:09:07Speaker 01

  Totally.

• 1:09:07Speaker 03

  For me. And like just being also like, the way that it was in this non-time place of like.

• 1:09:14Speaker 01

  Right.

• 1:09:14Speaker 03

  It's the eighties, but it's the fifties and it's like talking into a tape recorder and like then the owl is sending him a message. Like me and Honey are both very like steeped in signs and like things talking to us and like so is David Lynch.

• 1:09:25Speaker 02

  Angel numbers, hot dogs.

• 1:09:26Speaker 03

  Angel numbers and hot dogs. It's also like, we, I do tarot in like trash from the ground. And like seeing a lot of cards that like you will help me interpret.

• 1:09:35Speaker 02

  Amazing.

• 1:09:35Speaker 03

  But like David Lynch also occupies that space of like making the world like in a dream or something you see out of the corner of your eye that you, that flashes by you. It's like he's focused on that and like drawing you through the portal of that whole person's life.

• 1:09:49Speaker 02

  The ordinary is the mystic. Like that's like, that's the whole.

• 1:09:52Speaker 03

  The bum behind the, um, winkies in Mulholland Drive is like one of, I'm like, that's me.

• 1:09:58Speaker 05

  Well, it's also like weird guy worship.

• 1:10:01Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:10:02Speaker 05

  It's like, you can be kind of peculiar looking and you can be curious, but you also exist in immense beauty because you're part of this greater fantasy and this greater narrative of how like, things are like, really ugly and things are like, really frightening. But they also are like fog machine opera music.

• 1:10:22Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:10:23Speaker 03

  And you can't look away because it's like, you're, it's not only because you're so horrified, it's because you like, need to follow whatever's calling.

• 1:10:29Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:10:29Speaker 02

  Right.

• 1:10:30Speaker 03

  Like, looking into the radiator and hearing the lady sing or like, watching the performance in Mulholland Drive when they're like, when they're like this in the theater, wearing the same wig and seeing her stop singing and drop to the ground as she's covering Roy Erbison, like, the way he did music, I was just like,

• 1:10:44Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:10:45Speaker 03

  That's why I'm proud of you from LA.

• 1:10:46Speaker 05

  My first lynch was Eraserhead, and I love that, that's my second, that's probably in my top favorite David Lynch movies, also because I watched it when I was at a young, formidable age, and I was like, this doesn't make sense, and I don't want it to because it made me feel something.

• 1:11:00Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 1:11:00Speaker 05

  It's like, I don't need, it, it, it's like, art doesn't need to be this like, hyper narrative

• 1:11:07Speaker 01

  No.

• 1:11:07Speaker 05

  thing, it's like, we can be confused and simultaneously be feeling.

• 1:11:12Speaker 01

  I don't have to understand.

• 1:11:13Speaker 05

  I literally don't.

• 1:11:14Speaker 01

  It, it, it's, it's interesting that people seem to need that

• 1:11:18Speaker 05

  Yes.

• 1:11:18Speaker 01

  more and more.

• 1:11:19Speaker 05

  Definitely, and it's because we're, we're losing motor skills and motor functioning.

• 1:11:24Speaker 01

  Totally.

• 1:11:24Speaker 05

  Because children now no longer even know how to do this on a radio.

• 1:11:27Speaker 03

  No, they don't.

• 1:11:28Speaker 05

  Do you understand that?

• 1:11:29Speaker 03

  And you know what also doing this on a radio is, is when you're switching in between the dials, it's like, there's space in the static that you can hear words and voices come out, and like, that's like, where a whole movie can be born from, for him, and like, those universes he creates.

• 1:11:43Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:11:44Speaker 03

  It's like the channel shifting.

• 1:11:45Speaker 02

  The channel shifting, I, my mom would watch these, she, well, she, she like, bought from a yard sale one time, like, these English language, like, tutorial, like, tapes, with like, VHSs for like, ESL people, and it would pop them in, it would, it would be, it would have this like, really weird Lynchian quality, before I like, identified that with him, I was like, oh, like, I associate him with like, like, making films that take place in this like, suspended time, uh, atemporal

• 1:12:18Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:12:18Speaker 02

  thing of like, these people are having like, fake conversations.

• 1:12:21Speaker 05

  It's like the picture of Hillary Clinton when she's in the kitchen.

• 1:12:24Speaker 03

  Where she walks, and you're like,

• 1:12:25Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:12:26Speaker 05

  It's like, that's what being a maniac is.

• 1:12:28Speaker 01

  Seeing, seeing reality.

• 1:12:29Speaker 05

  Yeah, it's like, you appeared somewhere you aren't meant to be, and now you're forced to reckon with it.

• 1:12:35Speaker 03

  You know it's a kitchen, but that's all you know, and therefore it's like, why, why am I so scared of this kitchen?

• 1:12:40Speaker 01

  Right.

• 1:12:41Speaker 03

  It's the scariest kitchen I could ever think of, I, that's all I know about it, is that it's a kitchen, and I'm scared in the doorway.

• 1:12:45Speaker 05

  Right, she's in a pantsuit and she's scared.

• 1:12:46Speaker 03

  Also, like, the way David Lynch is, all of his stuff is focused around women, like, every

• 1:12:50Speaker 05

  And he loves gay and trans.

• 1:12:52Speaker 03

  He loves gay and trans.

• 1:12:53Speaker 01

  Also, like, I, I

• 1:12:55Speaker 03

  David Duchovny.

• 1:12:55Speaker 01

  Yeah, exactly, I do, I do love his, um, muses too, I think he's always been really ahead of the curve in choosing an actress from, obviously Laura Dern is not plucked, exactly plucked from obscurity because her mother

• 1:13:10Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:13:10Speaker 01

  and father are famous, but like, the Naomi Watts of it all is a crazy pull, you know what I mean, because he probably could have gotten a lot of people for the lead role of Mulholland Drive, and he says, no, I need someone who I can allow the audience to project onto because you can't know her, and

• 1:13:30Speaker 03

  I'm just going crazy right now.

• 1:13:31Speaker 01

  Truly.

• 1:13:32Speaker 03

  I'm thinking about what you're saying, because it's also like, even what you're saying is mirrored in the film when she does that audition.

• 1:13:36Speaker 01

  It's crazy.

• 1:13:37Speaker 03

  With the scary guy, and then she like, takes it and turns it and controls it, oh, man, yeah.

• 1:13:42Speaker 05

  Full body chill.

• 1:13:43Speaker 02

  When they make out, I'm like, fuck.

• 1:13:46Speaker 03

  And she's like, fully in command of it, and you see his like, surprise as he's being his kid, and by the way, he looks like a baseball glove, scariest guy I've ever seen.

• 1:13:52Speaker 02

  Very scary guy.

• 1:13:53Speaker 03

  It's like, how'd he find 20 of the scariest guys ever and put them in every movie?

• 1:13:56Speaker 05

  Pre Craigslist.

• 1:13:57Speaker 03

  Like, you were

• 1:13:57Speaker 01

  I know, yeah.

• 1:13:58Speaker 02

  Oh my god, it was

• 1:13:59Speaker 03

  It's so crazy.

• 1:13:59Speaker 02

  2001, I think Craigslist was maybe starting to pop off?

• 1:14:02Speaker 03

  But then it's also like, they

• 1:14:03Speaker 01

  So that's how.

• 1:14:03Speaker 05

  I miss Craigslist.

• 1:14:04Speaker 02

  I miss it so much.

• 1:14:06Speaker 05

  I miss Craigslist.

• 1:14:06Speaker 03

  He's found all, we were just talking about that.

• 1:14:08Speaker 02

  I miss Craigslist trade.

• 1:14:09Speaker 05

  Definitely.

• 1:14:10Speaker 02

  Pre Grindr, I, I was

• 1:14:12Speaker 05

  You were pulling.

• 1:14:12Speaker 02

  meeting old men in Denver.

• 1:14:15Speaker 03

  We're having a little David Lynch experience.

• 1:14:17Speaker 02

  Having some David, I'm probably a bit too early.

• 1:14:19Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:14:19Speaker 02

  Definitely too early, making out with baseball gloves.

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  New episodes every Tuesday, sponsored by Healthy Sexual from Gilead Sciences. Okay, honey, SpongeBob.

• 1:17:56Speaker 05

  Okay, so SpongeBob is really culturally influential to me, because he, he, I feel like SpongeBob SquarePants was my Simpsons.

• 1:18:04Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:18:04Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:18:04Speaker 05

  Where it's like, this is actually my family.

• 1:18:07Speaker 01

  That's actually really important, because I always felt so alienated by the Simpsons nickname about this.

• 1:18:13Speaker 03

  I, I, when I hear the theme song to The Simpsons, I start feeling fear and want to go away.

• 1:18:19Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:18:19Speaker 03

  I want to run from the noise.

• 1:18:21Speaker 05

  Because with The Simpsons, I felt like, it was an inside joke I wasn't in, but with SpongeBob, I was like, no, this is my Cho Cho fam.

• 1:18:26Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 1:18:27Speaker 05

  This is my chosen family.

• 1:18:29Speaker 01

  Cho Cho fam.

• 1:18:30Speaker 05

  It really

• 1:18:31Speaker 01

  Cho Cho fam might be a title up too.

• 1:18:33Speaker 03

  SpongeBob doesn't have an alcoholic father.

• 1:18:35Speaker 05

  Who's Cho Cho Sam?

• 1:18:36Speaker 02

  It was up, and, and, um, in that Weezer song, I'm a la, oh, no, no, oh, and, and, um, and, start listening to Cho Cho Sam, fall in love all over again.

• 1:18:48Speaker 05

  Exactly.

• 1:18:49Speaker 02

  And I'll scorecho, anyway, sorry.

• 1:18:50Speaker 05

  Yeah, no, like, this is my chosen family. Genuinely, where it's like, your best friend's a star, and your dog is a snail, and then your neighbor who hates you, but like, it's kind of like, well, they won't, they is, right, it's like, it's Squidward.

• 1:19:03Speaker 03

  Clarinet, Jewish.

• 1:19:04Speaker 05

  And I, and I just, yeah, I, you said Jewish?

• 1:19:06Speaker 03

  Yeah, Squidward's Jewish.

• 1:19:07Speaker 05

  I do not think Squidward is Jewish.

• 1:19:09Speaker 01

  You don't think Squidward's Jewish?

• 1:19:10Speaker 05

  No, I don't think Squidward has enough joie de vivre to be Jewish.

• 1:19:13Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:19:14Speaker 03

  I think there's some who are like that.

• 1:19:18Speaker 01

  You know what's so

• 1:19:19Speaker 05

  To me, like, Squidward is way, is, is not, I don't know, there's something like

• 1:19:23Speaker 02

  Squidward's like evangelist.

• 1:19:25Speaker 03

  Maybe Squidward was a, was, his parents were Jews for Jesus, and he rejects everything that they've ever taught him.

• 1:19:30Speaker 01

  I think that, that might be true, because the thing about Squidward is he's unbelievably repressed, because when you see him in private, he's so fun.

• 1:19:36Speaker 03

  It's so actually obvious to me what he was, he was raised by really controlling Jehovah's Witness, who wouldn't let him have a birthday.

• 1:19:41Speaker 05

  Yes, that's right.

• 1:19:43Speaker 03

  Continue, continue.

• 1:19:44Speaker 05

  Exactly.

• 1:19:44Speaker 03

  I redact, I redact and recant that Squidward was Jewish.

• 1:19:49Speaker 01

  What's so funny is too, like, um, One of, like, you're mentioning Kathy Griffin, one of these figures that looms large in the same way as Margaret Cho. And she one time had a bit about SpongeBob, about like, people projecting a sexuality onto SpongeBob. Because there was that period where right-wing conservative media was like, like Fox News was saying pretty much weekly that SpongeBob was gay.

• 1:20:09Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:20:09Speaker 01

  And to not have your kid watch SpongeBob because he's gay.

• 1:20:11Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:20:12Speaker 01

  And then, I'll just never forget, like, Margaret Cho was just like, SpongeBob is a sponge.

• 1:20:19Speaker 05

  Exactly.

• 1:20:20Speaker 01

  And then she goes, clearly bisexual.

• 1:20:22Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:20:23Speaker 01

  Or something like that.

• 1:20:23Speaker 05

  Obviously.

• 1:20:24Speaker 01

  Like, but there was, there is a world you can project onto them because they are so, the thing about them is like, joining the SpongeBob characters in process is like, I'm doing this incredibly specific thing, and we're just blasting it out episodically as if it's-

• 1:20:42Speaker 05

  So many inside jokes, there's so much world building.

• 1:20:44Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:20:45Speaker 05

  But it just, there was just something about the, he's like adventurous and he's really funny.

• 1:20:53Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:20:53Speaker 05

  Like, he really is like funny, like, there's jokes, it's like, the characters are so defined and so unique and so themselves. And it just, I just was addicted, and I think that I'm grateful for the culture it's brought me into my adulthood because it is truly like imagination.

• 1:21:10Speaker 02

  Well, yeah, I think, it's important to point out the art style of SpongeBob and the animation style of SpongeBob. Let's compare it to The Simpsons where The Simpsons is like-

• 1:21:19Speaker 03

  I hate it so goddamn much, I'm sorry.

• 1:21:20Speaker 02

  Extreme, no, see, and, and actually what I want to say is, I would watch The Simpsons every day, and I was just privately, and, and at school I'd be like, quote The Simpsons-

• 1:21:28Speaker 03

  I hate that they forced me to do this.

• 1:21:30Speaker 02

  I, but I loved The Simpsons, and then it was alienating in college when like, the comedy boys would just quote off to each other. And I was like, oh, you're making me like-

• 1:21:40Speaker 01

  They knew it more.

• 1:21:41Speaker 03

  Also-

• 1:21:41Speaker 02

  You, you, you're making me dislike this thing that I used to love.

• 1:21:43Speaker 03

  No.

• 1:21:44Speaker 02

  And I love, love, love you guys if you're listening, but like, it just, it, I'm on this prodigal journey back to The Simpsons. They made it a boys' club.

• 1:21:50Speaker 03

  It's, it's also like SpongeBob is for everyone-

• 1:21:51Speaker 05

  SpongeBob is a days' club.

• 1:21:52Speaker 02

  It's a days' club.

• 1:21:53Speaker 05

  Yes.

• 1:21:53Speaker 03

  Absolutely.

• 1:21:54Speaker 02

  But the art style of it, it's like, okay, so with Simpsons, it's so clean lines, academic, it's like, it has to be like, sort of-

• 1:21:58Speaker 05

  It's Harvard, literally.

• 1:21:59Speaker 02

  It's Harvard, it's Hellenic, it's like, you know, golden ratio.

• 1:22:03Speaker 03

  And the cool stuff that he did before the Life and Hell series, did you ever read those comics?

• 1:22:06Speaker 02

  Yes, yes, yes.

• 1:22:07Speaker 03

  That shit was amazing.

• 1:22:08Speaker 02

  That shit was amazing.

• 1:22:09Speaker 03

  And they just, all, everything that made that cool is gone from The Simpsons.

• 1:22:12Speaker 02

  Which, it still works, I mean, I think Simpsons fans are saying like, the recent seasons have been like incredible. Um, I, I need to, I need to get back on it, but SpongeBob, like, just, any screenshot of it is a meme, right?

• 1:22:23Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 1:22:24Speaker 05

  Absolutely.

• 1:22:24Speaker 02

  And like, because of the way it's like, a little janky, sprayed, painted-

• 1:22:28Speaker 05

  And then like, you zoom in and it's like giant white hat, unibrow, it's like, yeah.

• 1:22:32Speaker 03

  They're just N P style.

• 1:22:33Speaker 05

  Yeah, exactly, yeah, there is, there, there's gross out, and it also like, parts of it are scary.

• 1:22:39Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:22:40Speaker 05

  And strange, like, I'm really grateful for SpongeBob.

• 1:22:43Speaker 01

  Like, chocolate, like, like, you know what I mean? It is the stoner show.

• 1:22:46Speaker 03

  I love that, of course.

• 1:22:48Speaker 01

  It is, it is, especially when you watch it as an actual stoner adult, you're like, oh, this is why my dad liked it.

• 1:22:53Speaker 05

  No.

• 1:22:54Speaker 01

  I think, I, like, you know what I mean, I'm kinda like-

• 1:22:56Speaker 05

  Cause he was chewing on peanuts, stoned as hell.

• 1:22:58Speaker 01

  I think there may have been a- How did you see the chewing of peanuts?

• 1:23:03Speaker 05

  Cause that's what my dad was doing too, he was chewing on peanuts, stoned as hell. Being like, no, dad-

• 1:23:07Speaker 03

  He's chewing on peanuts, dad's hell, watching SpongeBob.

• 1:23:09Speaker 05

  It's peanuts.

• 1:23:10Speaker 01

  Peanuts is- You really would think, and you wanna know why, they really are good. I love licking the shells. I miss the shells, I feel like a dog.

• 1:23:19Speaker 03

  I miss that, part of my life.

• 1:23:20Speaker 05

  Oh, right.

• 1:23:21Speaker 01

  Well, SpongeBob, SpongeBob-

• 1:23:23Speaker 03

  I became allergic to nuts three years ago.

• 1:23:24Speaker 02

  No, totally.

• 1:23:25Speaker 01

  Three years ago?

• 1:23:26Speaker 03

  Yeah, I know, I went my whole life having nut, now no nut.

• 1:23:29Speaker 02

  Can I?

• 1:23:29Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:23:30Speaker 02

  Is there, there, there's some correlation, it's, it's like the way that like, everyone's ADHD, you know, it's like, everyone's nut allergy.

• 1:23:35Speaker 03

  But I didn't ever want this, and I think some people-

• 1:23:38Speaker 05

  I know, but it's because of 5G.

• 1:23:40Speaker 02

  It's 5G.

• 1:23:40Speaker 05

  Contact your senators.

• 1:23:41Speaker 02

  Cause the government built the 5G towers, you know?

• 1:23:44Speaker 03

  5G took my nut away.

• 1:23:45Speaker 05

  The hedron colliders have stopped and not high.

• 1:23:46Speaker 01

  It's 5G, it's the vaccines, it's what they spray the air with.

• 1:23:50Speaker 05

  Right. It's chemtrails.

• 1:23:51Speaker 01

  You decide if I mean it.

• 1:23:52Speaker 02

  It's Bowen.

• 1:23:53Speaker 01

  Hey, do you think I mean it? You decide.

• 1:23:57Speaker 02

  It's time for I Don't Think So Honey.

• 1:23:58Speaker 01

  We have to go, I Don't Think So Honey, this is our 60-second segment that we do to get shit off our chest and out there into the discourse, thank God. I have something, um, it was a result of me, well, I'll just get into it, and let me cook.

• 1:24:16Speaker 02

  Okay, this is Matt Rogers's I Don't Think So Honey, his time starts now.

• 1:24:18Speaker 01

  I Don't Think So Honey pizza places won't deliver slices.

• 1:24:21Speaker 02

  Oh.

• 1:24:22Speaker 01

  None of them do, and this might be another check in the column for call, because I'm sure if I call and I say, hey, can you cut up three slices and put it in a box? Yeah, three, so what, three, three is not too many, I hear you, I don't think so honey, it's too many. But say I'm like stoned in the evening, which I want to do.

• 1:24:42Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:24:43Speaker 01

  And I go on the website, postmates.com, and there's no options for slices. If I were to go in there, there'd be an option for slices, and there's no way for me to edit or change it, America's failing. How can this be America if they don't deliver slices?

• 1:25:00Speaker 02

  Hmm.

• 1:25:01Speaker 01

  That's my whole thing now.

• 1:25:02Speaker 02

  15 seconds.

• 1:25:03Speaker 01

  And so I will, and also, I know what you're saying too, just go out and walk. No, that doesn't work for me, as high as I am and how dangerous the streets can be.

• 1:25:13Speaker 02

  Five seconds.

• 1:25:14Speaker 01

  I use this rest of the time to be NIMBY. I, I just, I'm so scared of the streets lately.

• 1:25:20Speaker 05

  I'm gonna get my backyard.

• 1:25:20Speaker 01

  Ever since that Zoran became the mayor, I don't know if I can get my pizza. Deliver me slices.

• 1:25:25Speaker 02

  And that's one minute.

• 1:25:27Speaker 03

  You're right, I mean, also, when I, when I reacted at three-

• 1:25:29Speaker 05

  I don't agree.

• 1:25:30Speaker 03

  Well, wait, no, when I reacted-

• 1:25:31Speaker 05

  Because why can't you have leftover pizza?

• 1:25:33Speaker 01

  What do you mean?

• 1:25:34Speaker 05

  Just get a small.

• 1:25:35Speaker 01

  What's wrong with the whole pie? I'm sorry, maybe you didn't hear me, I'm high on marijuana, I will eat the whole thing.

• 1:25:41Speaker 05

  I see what you're saying.

• 1:25:41Speaker 01

  And I did!

• 1:25:43Speaker 05

  It's boundary exercise, got it.

• 1:25:44Speaker 01

  I did do it.

• 1:25:45Speaker 05

  You're valid.

• 1:25:45Speaker 03

  Matt's not saying deliver me one, he's saying three. That, I think that that is okay, some of these slices, have you seen some of these slices?

• 1:25:53Speaker 05

  I will deliver you a slice, cause I wanna get my steps in.

• 1:25:56Speaker 01

  Listen, okay, I'll, okay, so this is another reason why I said I would get their number.

• 1:25:59Speaker 03

  The locations will be turned on, so that you can get slices.

• 1:26:02Speaker 01

  See, this is what I'm saying, I knew I would get what I wanted.

• 1:26:04Speaker 03

  I know where you live.

• 1:26:06Speaker 02

  Oh my god, see, I think they are out there.

• 1:26:08Speaker 03

  And how much is a slice, it's $14 each? I think Matt wants the, the normal slice price.

• 1:26:13Speaker 01

  I want, I want three incredible, I want three incredible slices, and then guess what? I can have the leftovers if I don't finish all three because I can admit that that is a lot. And sometimes the, the eyes are bigger than the stomach, yeah.

• 1:26:25Speaker 03

  Something's so wrong with me, cause I, I just said, I was like, well, you can plant them, like, there were some flowers in your-

• 1:26:30Speaker 01

  Plant pizza?

• 1:26:30Speaker 03

  No, something's going wrong.

• 1:26:31Speaker 01

  If, if I could plant pizza, I, I would have figured it out.

• 1:26:33Speaker 03

  I was like, you can just put it in the ground, like, it would be like fertilizer, like, I don't think that's-

• 1:26:37Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:26:38Speaker 02

  There's a children's book in there.

• 1:26:39Speaker 03

  Yeah, Julio?

• 1:26:40Speaker 02

  Wait, Julio?

• 1:26:41Speaker 01

  Julio, only you.

• 1:26:42Speaker 02

  Okay, I've got, I've got, I've got a similar-ish one.

• 1:26:45Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:26:45Speaker 02

  It's just, it's just a, it's just a minor gripe I have, but it's actually, it actually, it actually says something expository.

• 1:26:50Speaker 01

  It says something expository.

• 1:26:51Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:26:52Speaker 01

  My favorite.

• 1:26:53Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 1:26:53Speaker 01

  All right, this is Bo and Yang's I Don't Think So Honey, his time starts now.

• 1:26:56Speaker 02

  I Don't Think So Honey, where are the seats in the coffee shops of America? Specifically, New York City, seats are crucial social infrastructure. Anytime you put, you know, we all know, like, oh, if they, if they put on those little armrest things, it's like an anti-unhoused measure, but like, which is fucked. But why are we taking the chairs out of the fucking coffee shops now? Blank Street, I challenge you, if you're gonna-

• 1:27:22Speaker 01

  Have a seat.

• 1:27:22Speaker 02

  -proliferate throughout our fair city.

• 1:27:26Speaker 01

  30 seconds.

• 1:27:26Speaker 02

  Have one stool.

• 1:27:28Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:27:28Speaker 02

  Starbucks doesn't count, that's an airport.

• 1:27:30Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:27:31Speaker 02

  What am I supposed to do when I go into a coffee shop now? Lean on the arabica shelf? Uh, uh, uh, lean on the fixings, of like-

• 1:27:40Speaker 01

  15 seconds.

• 1:27:41Speaker 02

  Lean, lean on the trash can, I'm a busy guy, I have a lot of scrolling to do on my phone, I need a place to sit down and do this. And, I think there's a correlation between-

• 1:27:51Speaker 01

  Five seconds.

• 1:27:52Speaker 02

  The chairs being removed from coffee shops and the spike in third space discourse.

• 1:27:55Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 1:27:56Speaker 01

  That's one minute.

• 1:27:57Speaker 02

  I think we've lost something, just by removing one little synecdical piece of this puzzle, now we're all like, where are the third spaces, where are the, they were coffee shops all along.

• 1:28:06Speaker 03

  You know what, they used to have couches.

• 1:28:09Speaker 02

  Friends!

• 1:28:10Speaker 01

  Like-

• 1:28:10Speaker 05

  Beanbag chairs.

• 1:28:11Speaker 03

  They had, you could live there if you played your cards right.

• 1:28:14Speaker 02

  Literally.

• 1:28:15Speaker 03

  Go to the coffee shop, open the laptop, shower at the YMCA, I live at the coffee shop, it's like, they're making it so that can't occur anymore.

• 1:28:21Speaker 05

  And coffee shops now are either so sterile as like, right at the dentist.

• 1:28:26Speaker 02

  Yeah, airport.

• 1:28:26Speaker 05

  Or, or, or it's the other side where it's like, adult board game night.

• 1:28:31Speaker 03

  Yeah, I can't do that.

• 1:28:32Speaker 05

  Why can't I have the middle?

• 1:28:34Speaker 02

  But I want more adult board game night.

• 1:28:36Speaker 03

  But they're not, the, the chess set doesn't have all the pieces.

• 1:28:39Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:28:39Speaker 02

  Right, right.

• 1:28:40Speaker 01

  And that, thank you for pointing that out, because the thing is, if you're gonna have games, I'm excited, and then when I go to the game and I can't play it functionally, I'm incredibly disappointed.

• 1:28:51Speaker 03

  I can't do this.

• 1:28:51Speaker 05

  It's Portuguese, apple to apple. It's like, I like to Portuguese.

• 1:28:54Speaker 03

  It's like, well, I guess this corn muffin is gonna be the queen in this chess set because they don't have that one anymore. Because someone like me probably thought the queen was speaking to them and had to pocket it that day, so they're also valid.

• 1:29:04Speaker 02

  I think you hear the voices from the chess pieces.

• 1:29:07Speaker 03

  Oh, I'm hearing the voices.

• 1:29:08Speaker 02

  From everywhere.

• 1:29:09Speaker 01

  Well, so the thing is with the seats, it's kinda like, it, it's not that they have none, it's just that they have somewhere between not enough and, if they never, it's always like, three or four seats, not enough.

• 1:29:21Speaker 02

  I just think, I just think it's like, tearing, it's like ruining the cities of the world, like, it's, like, it's like how Times Square used to be like, a really important place.

• 1:29:30Speaker 03

  For porn theaters and gay people.

• 1:29:31Speaker 02

  Well, because it's where classes would intermingle.

• 1:29:33Speaker 05

  Oh, yes.

• 1:29:34Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:29:34Speaker 02

  And you don't have that in New York anymore.

• 1:29:36Speaker 05

  No, it's true.

• 1:29:37Speaker 02

  It's like, you need chairs in these coffee shops because it's like, people just need to like-

• 1:29:41Speaker 05

  Hang out with each other.

• 1:29:42Speaker 02

  Chill out, hang out with each other.

• 1:29:43Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:29:43Speaker 02

  For like, 20 minutes.

• 1:29:44Speaker 05

  Well, that really is like, the, the world functions the best when our subways function the best. Cause it's like, public infrastructure and public transit is everyone coming together, we're all on the queue, like, we're all on the train together. And then we learn we don't have to be in this like, anxiety with each other, cause we all just want Java.

• 1:30:02Speaker 03

  It's like, you know, it's like a squirrel was friends with a sponge.

• 1:30:05Speaker 05

  Exactly.

• 1:30:06Speaker 03

  It's kinda like that.

• 1:30:07Speaker 02

  It's like that, it's like when a squirrel was friends with a sponge with a starfish.

• 1:30:10Speaker 05

  Legitimately, with a, with a snail.

• 1:30:12Speaker 02

  Legit.

• 1:30:13Speaker 05

  Yo!

• 1:30:13Speaker 01

  Yeah, it was incredible, the community, and that was choo-cho fam.

• 1:30:16Speaker 03

  That was-

• 1:30:17Speaker 02

  Choo-cho fam.

• 1:30:18Speaker 01

  Think about that, SpongeBob was choo-cho fam, that's Real Culture number 16, SpongeBob was choo-cho fam.

• 1:30:22Speaker 02

  Think about that, okay, let's have Spike go first.

• 1:30:25Speaker 01

  Who lives in a pineapple under the sea, my community.

• 1:30:29Speaker 03

  Wow.

• 1:30:29Speaker 02

  Okay, well, honey, you wanna go first?

• 1:30:31Speaker 05

  Okay, um, I also wanna say that choo-cho fam is a, that is a phrase given to me by my really good friend Heather Jewitt, it's, it's, it's-

• 1:30:39Speaker 02

  Thank you, Heather.

• 1:30:40Speaker 05

  So I need to speak to Heather Jewitt, thank you for that, and my lexicon.

• 1:30:42Speaker 01

  Because what if she were to watch this and say, you took-

• 1:30:46Speaker 05

  Well, she would know that we're starting the good seed.

• 1:30:48Speaker 03

  And she has a great, she has a great podcast.

• 1:30:49Speaker 05

  She's an amazing podcast.

• 1:30:50Speaker 01

  Called?

• 1:30:51Speaker 05

  Called, um, Planet Heather.

• 1:30:52Speaker 02

  Planet Heather.

• 1:30:53Speaker 05

  Great, okay.

• 1:30:54Speaker 02

  Okay, this is Honey Putz, I Don't Think So Honey, his time starts now.

• 1:30:56Speaker 05

  I Don't Think So Honey, not believing in God.

• 1:30:59Speaker 02

  Hmm.

• 1:30:59Speaker 05

  Got it, so you don't need to join the Greensboro Baptist Church, but I, I really-

• 1:31:05Speaker 01

  Westboro.

• 1:31:06Speaker 05

  Westboro.

• 1:31:07Speaker 01

  Or the Graceboro.

• 1:31:08Speaker 05

  Yeah, you don't have to join the Westboro Baptist Church. But I do believe that, given the kind of ecological ruin, decay, the civilizational horrors that we're all in, get down on your knees with your hands like this against your bed and press your thumbs against your third eye and pray.

• 1:31:30Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:31:30Speaker 05

  And you're not praying for yourself to get a promotion. You're not praying for a text back. You're using that time to think about other people besides yourself and how we can literally help them. Because I do believe that having a connection to God, however you want to define that, reminds you that you're not alone.

• 1:31:51Speaker 02

  Five seconds.

• 1:31:52Speaker 05

  Therefore, we're not alone. And alienation is how they separate and divide us.

• 1:31:57Speaker 02

  And that's one minute.

• 1:31:58Speaker 01

  I love that.

• 1:31:59Speaker 02

  Fantastic. That's, Dolly had that.

• 1:32:01Speaker 05

  Absolutely.

• 1:32:01Speaker 01

  I was gonna say, Dolly would want us to pray.

• 1:32:03Speaker 05

  Yes.

• 1:32:03Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:32:04Speaker 05

  She really was praying, and she loves gay.

• 1:32:06Speaker 01

  It's rule of culture number two.

• 1:32:08Speaker 02

  Dolly would want us to pray.

• 1:32:09Speaker 05

  Thank you.

• 1:32:10Speaker 02

  And Dolly talking, Dolly communing with whatever turned into her giving books to kids. You know what I mean? It's like, it's like, it's that.

• 1:32:17Speaker 01

  I think it's so useful to just remind yourself of exactly that. Like, let me, like, isolate some time where I actually just manifest good things for other people.

• 1:32:29Speaker 05

  Definitely.

• 1:32:30Speaker 02

  Different from meditation, different from like mindfulness stuff.

• 1:32:32Speaker 05

  Yes.

• 1:32:32Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:32:33Speaker 02

  Different.

• 1:32:34Speaker 03

  I feel mindfulness can be really like navel gazing and isolating. I think that when you pray for other people, you connect with them even when you're not physically. And it's like so much more.

• 1:32:44Speaker 05

  Mindfulness is self-optimization peptide creatine.

• 1:32:48Speaker 02

  Yep.

• 1:32:48Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:32:49Speaker 05

  And praying is like literally standing up in like ecstasy. Because you know that you deserve to live.

• 1:32:56Speaker 02

  Splitting one pressed pill amongst like seven people.

• 1:32:58Speaker 05

  Precisely.

• 1:32:59Speaker 03

  You can only be mindfulness for yourself, but like you can pray about someone and know someone's praying for you in return.

• 1:33:04Speaker 05

  Exactly.

• 1:33:04Speaker 01

  Oh! This is why, I don't, I don't love the band Creed.

• 1:33:07Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:33:08Speaker 01

  But I don't play about the song with arms wide open.

• 1:33:10Speaker 03

  Oh, exactly.

• 1:33:11Speaker 05

  When that comes on, everything else stops.

• 1:33:13Speaker 01

  Under the sunlight.

• 1:33:14Speaker 02

  There's a reason why Charlene does a number two higher.

• 1:33:16Speaker 05

  Absolutely.

• 1:33:18Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:33:18Speaker 05

  Well, because she controls the weather.

• 1:33:20Speaker 02

  She controls the weather.

• 1:33:20Speaker 05

  Extremely powerful witch. Yes.

• 1:33:22Speaker 03

  In a normal way, shut up.

• 1:33:24Speaker 02

  In a normal way.

• 1:33:24Speaker 01

  Also Scott Stapp, kind of like jackass Johnny Knoxville.

• 1:33:28Speaker 05

  Daddy.

• 1:33:28Speaker 01

  Pony is calling where I'm like, I'm coming thinking of you, king.

• 1:33:33Speaker 03

  You're like, look at this photograph.

• 1:33:35Speaker 05

  And of course, look at this performance.

• 1:33:36Speaker 03

  Look at this photograph.

• 1:33:37Speaker 02

  Look at this photograph.

• 1:33:38Speaker 01

  Girl, now.

• 1:33:39Speaker 02

  Scott has a darkness though.

• 1:33:40Speaker 01

  Nickelback down!

• 1:33:40Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:33:41Speaker 02

  Nickelback down.

• 1:33:41Speaker 03

  I know.

• 1:33:42Speaker 02

  Scott has a darkness though.

• 1:33:43Speaker 01

  Oh, for sure.

• 1:33:44Speaker 02

  Don't look it up.

• 1:33:44Speaker 01

  But, so, so, so can I say something? Scott Stapp might have darkness, so have some of the most incredible.

• 1:33:52Speaker 03

  So did Nietzsche.

• 1:33:53Speaker 01

  Men who I've had sex with in my life. I never want to see them again.

• 1:33:57Speaker 05

  No.

• 1:33:57Speaker 01

  Sexually incredibly memorable.

• 1:33:59Speaker 03

  Everybody needs, there needs to be a two-sided coin. You can't just be.

• 1:34:02Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:34:03Speaker 03

  Like.

• 1:34:03Speaker 02

  Of course.

• 1:34:04Speaker 03

  That's why there's blossom bubbles and buttercup, okay?

• 1:34:07Speaker 01

  Tim Curry, Dolly Parton.

• 1:34:08Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 1:34:09Speaker 02

  Yep.

• 1:34:09Speaker 03

  Exactly.

• 1:34:10Speaker 02

  Hayden. Okay.

• 1:34:11Speaker 03

  Okay, I got it.

• 1:34:13Speaker 02

  This is Spike, I'm Biders, I don't think so many, his time starts now.

• 1:34:16Speaker 03

  I don't think so, honey. When I say that my dog is blind and you go, aw.

• 1:34:23Speaker 03

  I said he's blind, not dead. He's right in front of you, he's happy as can be. He just can't see.

• 1:34:28Speaker 02

  Right.

• 1:34:28Speaker 03

  If a blind person said that they were blind, would you go, aw? Why do you say aw to my blind dog? By the way, my blind dog sleeps in a queen-sized bed. My blind dog has custom green clothes. My blind dog may have only one eye and no teeth, but you know what else he has? A name given for him by God, which is Spider-Man. I did not choose that name. But I chose him to welcome into my life, knowing that he would one day go blind and still continue to have an amazing life.

• 1:34:55Speaker 01

  Knowing.

• 1:34:56Speaker 03

  Also, he's blind, not deaf, he can hear you say aw. And he doesn't like that.

• 1:35:00Speaker 02

  He didn't like that.

• 1:35:00Speaker 03

  Okay?

• 1:35:01Speaker 02

  Fifteen seconds.

• 1:35:01Speaker 03

  His senses are sharp and he's tuned into the world that his sight no longer requires to be participating in. And you know what? Love can't see, love can only feel. And him being blind is actually completely chill.

• 1:35:13Speaker 02

  Wow, and that's one minute.

• 1:35:15Speaker 01

  So, first of all, incredible. I do have a question. Do you believe that your dog, Spider-Man, has incredibly heightened senses because of not only being a dog, but also the loss of one major sense?

• 1:35:30Speaker 02

  And being named Spider-Man?

• 1:35:32Speaker 03

  His name is Spider-Man. I, he's really old, so I don't think he could hear that good too.

• 1:35:36Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 1:35:37Speaker 05

  But they don't need to know that. They don't need to know that.

• 1:35:39Speaker 03

  But what he does have the sense of is that we are like, he is my like medicinal child.

• 1:35:44Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:35:45Speaker 03

  Our symbiosis is very like, it's also like people, when they see a dog like that, they're forced to reckon with the fact that something is beautiful that doesn't actually appear to be beautiful to many other people. It's like, when you find yourself endeared in liking my dog, you're interacting with nuance and.

• 1:36:02Speaker 01

  Lynchian.

• 1:36:03Speaker 03

  Yes, exactly. I have a Lynchian dog named Spider-Man.

• 1:36:06Speaker 02

  You, you really, um, this is gonna sound so disgusting, but like, meeting your dogs.

• 1:36:12Speaker 03

  You're talking to the right guy.

• 1:36:13Speaker 02

  Right. Well, meeting your dogs like really expanded like my sense of like, I don't know, like beauty in all living things, which sounds.

• 1:36:23Speaker 03

  No, that's, that's what every sexual partner I've ever had.

• 1:36:25Speaker 02

  No!

• 1:36:28Speaker 02

  But Spider-Man, I was like, Spider-Man, like I just remember meeting Spider-Man and being like, oh my God, I don't think I said aw. Maybe I did?

• 1:36:35Speaker 05

  But you don't need a cockapoo named Bailey.

• 1:36:38Speaker 03

  No, oh my God, wait.

• 1:36:39Speaker 02

  You don't need a cockapoo named Bailey.

• 1:36:40Speaker 03

  I'm just the way that I've met so many exact.

• 1:36:42Speaker 05

  Exactly. You don't need a cockapoo named Bailey.

• 1:36:45Speaker 01

  Someone who is, was of the experience of having a dog named Bailey.

• 1:36:48Speaker 03

  And my fiance as well, but not a cockapoo.

• 1:36:51Speaker 01

  And there are too many of them.

• 1:36:53Speaker 05

  Absolutely.

• 1:36:54Speaker 01

  Bailey as a name, it's, it's taken over. Cause now we, now of course we love Baylin instead.

• 1:37:00Speaker 03

  No.

• 1:37:01Speaker 01

  Baylin out loud.

• 1:37:02Speaker 03

  The cockapoo named Bailey that I'm thinking of was like my friend's dog walking client who the, when people would ask her on the street, what kind of dog she was, she would say poodle mix because she wanted to gatekeep having a cockapoo. It's like, yeah, Bailey, no, don't do that.

• 1:37:15Speaker 02

  Don't do that.

• 1:37:16Speaker 05

  Don't do all that.

• 1:37:17Speaker 03

  And I never change my dogs' names because they come to me from God.

• 1:37:21Speaker 02

  Right, right, right.

• 1:37:22Speaker 01

  Right.

• 1:37:22Speaker 02

  Beautiful.

• 1:37:23Speaker 05

  This honestly kind of reminds me when I tell people that I'm a stand-up comedian, I don't know if this still happens to y'all or does, but I think it's, I think it happens in the queer spaces we hang out with. I'm like, I'm a stand-up comedian, and they really do go, so you think you're funny?

• 1:37:35Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:37:35Speaker 05

  And I'm like, obviously, that's why I keep doing it.

• 1:37:38Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:37:38Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:37:39Speaker 03

  Absolutely. There's evidence.

• 1:37:41Speaker 01

  It's the first test though, like being able to withstand that question.

• 1:37:44Speaker 05

  Right.

• 1:37:45Speaker 01

  And the feeling that.

• 1:37:45Speaker 05

  The hazing.

• 1:37:46Speaker 01

  The, what, what's coming towards you, which is offensive, and also the way you start to spin out and attack yourself is, is one of the first tests. Oh, so you think you're funny?

• 1:37:55Speaker 05

  Right.

• 1:37:56Speaker 01

  It's like.

• 1:37:56Speaker 03

  Yep.

• 1:37:56Speaker 02

  Yeah. And actually, yeah.

• 1:37:59Speaker 01

  And it's impossible to be funny in that moment and responding, but like.

• 1:38:04Speaker 05

  But it's like, why are you acting like a headmistress? It's like, why am I now, what, why?

• 1:38:08Speaker 03

  I think one of the most powerful things to be as a comedian is like serious sometimes.

• 1:38:13Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:38:13Speaker 03

  And just hitting it back with a yep is like that, you know, they're, they're at their knees, they're saying, my liege, what do you ask of me? Like, you actually unlocked the thing that gets you their next item on the quest so you can keep going in the video game, like, it's like that.

• 1:38:25Speaker 01

  It's why you love Bill Maher.

• 1:38:27Speaker 03

  Exactly. Well, I love Bill Maher.

• 1:38:29Speaker 05

  Totally random with Bill Maher.

• 1:38:30Speaker 03

  I love Bill Maher because like I'm addicted to like hanging out with prostitutes and smoking weed.

• 1:38:34Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:38:34Speaker 03

  That's why.

• 1:38:35Speaker 02

  I don't know.

• 1:38:36Speaker 01

  You guys in Duchovny should chill.

• 1:38:38Speaker 03

  I know.

• 1:38:39Speaker 01

  Um, all right, so there was something that happened, um, three times on the episode today that was unusual. It's a new bit that we're doing.

• 1:38:47Speaker 03

  A fly?

• 1:38:48Speaker 05

  Right.

• 1:38:49Speaker 02

  There was no fly.

• 1:38:51Speaker 03

  I looked and I was like, I didn't see the fly. And I was also like, is Matt okay?

• 1:38:57Speaker 02

  So, we started this last episode with Troye Sivan where, um, we do like a secret. And last week, the secret was we kept saying the word correctamundo.

• 1:39:08Speaker 02

  And then we revealed it to him at the end.

• 1:39:10Speaker 01

  We asked him at the end what was weird and he's like, well, you said correctamundo a lot. So you knew that was the fly.

• 1:39:14Speaker 05

  When would you know to start clapping?

• 1:39:17Speaker 01

  I, I.

• 1:39:17Speaker 05

  You just intuited it.

• 1:39:18Speaker 01

  It was intuitive.

• 1:39:19Speaker 03

  Every time you did it, I was like, I was like, I'm not seeing anything. And I was kind of like, it must be a fruit fly. And then I was also like, so I smell bad.

• 1:39:27Speaker 02

  No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

• 1:39:28Speaker 03

  The fly is coming for me.

• 1:39:29Speaker 02

  And this is also the second.

• 1:39:30Speaker 01

  This is why I love it. It creates so much.

• 1:39:32Speaker 02

  It creates so much. The second weekend where I was a little too cowardly to fully go ahead with my, my game, my usual thing.

• 1:39:37Speaker 01

  Yeah, you didn't get hard.

• 1:39:38Speaker 02

  Well, I got one, I didn't, my, yeah, mine was getting hard. No, my, my, my, I was trying to incorporate the word vortex, but I only used it once.

• 1:39:46Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:39:47Speaker 03

  We did one too.

• 1:39:48Speaker 01

  He was gonna use vortex a lot. What was yours?

• 1:39:50Speaker 03

  When you go home, you'll find out.

• 1:39:52Speaker 01

  Dang.

• 1:39:53Speaker 02

  Whoa.

• 1:39:54Speaker 05

  Mine is tomorrow you will be colorblind.

• 1:39:55Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:39:56Speaker 05

  And you will.

• 1:39:56Speaker 03

  No, he is, he is, he is.

• 1:39:58Speaker 05

  Wait, why am I psychic? I didn't know that.

• 1:40:00Speaker 03

  No, I knew that because I'm a listener.

• 1:40:02Speaker 05

  There we go.

• 1:40:02Speaker 03

  A reader, if you will.

• 1:40:03Speaker 01

  A reader, if you will.

• 1:40:04Speaker 02

  Finalist, finalist.

• 1:40:05Speaker 01

  And we've had a fun ass time.

• 1:40:07Speaker 02

  Go see Spike and Honey on tour now.

• 1:40:11Speaker 05

  San Francisco, Seattle, Portland, Berlin, London. Um, you're in LA by yourself.

• 1:40:16Speaker 03

  And I'm in LA by myself.

• 1:40:17Speaker 02

  And you guys are hitting up Paris just to find.

• 1:40:18Speaker 03

  And Paris as well.

• 1:40:19Speaker 01

  A show in Paris?

• 1:40:21Speaker 05

  Yes, we believe so.

• 1:40:21Speaker 03

  We believe so. We'll have a show on the third in Paris. And also, if you're in New Haven, Connecticut in October, you should see our friend Seven B Frankenfurter in the Shadowcast production of Rose Tint.

• 1:40:31Speaker 01

  Oh my God. Oh, that's amazing.

• 1:40:33Speaker 03

  And we're going on October 24th.

• 1:40:34Speaker 05

  Definitely. Oh, and I have a podcast.

• 1:40:36Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:40:36Speaker 02

  Honey has a podcast. Um, and you guys fucking slayed down at Twins versus Dolls 5.

• 1:40:42Speaker 01

  Yeah. It was a blast. I was stressed.

• 1:40:46Speaker 02

  You guys, I was so, I don't, I was spitting out. I was having like an episode.

• 1:40:50Speaker 03

  Next year, we're doing it in space.

• 1:40:52Speaker 02

  Thank God.

• 1:40:52Speaker 05

  It really is like the most overstimulating environment that a human being could ask to perform within.

• 1:40:59Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:40:59Speaker 05

  It is kind of like surveillance, panopticon, slime.

• 1:41:03Speaker 03

  There's still slime on our white shirts.

• 1:41:05Speaker 02

  Of course, same.

• 1:41:05Speaker 03

  They told us to wear white shirts to host.

• 1:41:08Speaker 05

  How did you tell the dry cleaner that I, the dry cleaner that I go to off Broadway? What, he, he goes, what is this green? I go, it is slime.

• 1:41:17Speaker 02

  It is slime.

• 1:41:18Speaker 05

  I cannot.

• 1:41:19Speaker 01

  You ever seen Nickelodeon?

• 1:41:20Speaker 05

  Yes.

• 1:41:20Speaker 01

  Sort of like that.

• 1:41:21Speaker 02

  I was like, I, I, I think I took an Adderall that day because it was a long day. And then, uh, Chelsea Manning is sitting next to me like.

• 1:41:30Speaker 05

  What's good?

• 1:41:31Speaker 02

  Just like, just being like, what do I, like?

• 1:41:34Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 1:41:34Speaker 02

  Should we, should we, should we chime in? And I'm like, what is going on? Like, why am I like?

• 1:41:38Speaker 05

  But you did amazing too.

• 1:41:39Speaker 02

  Thank you.

• 1:41:39Speaker 05

  You're so funny.

• 1:41:40Speaker 02

  It was, that was incredible.

• 1:41:42Speaker 01

  It was a blast.

• 1:41:42Speaker 02

  I really commend you guys.

• 1:41:43Speaker 03

  Thank you so much.

• 1:41:44Speaker 02

  Anyway, okay, we ended our episode with a song. Let's do it.

• 1:41:46Speaker 01

  I feel like we gotta give it up.

• 1:41:47Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:41:48Speaker 02

  Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?

• 1:41:50Speaker 01

  SpongeBob SquarePants! I was gonna do a Dolly Parton song, but.

• 1:41:54Speaker 02

  Under the sea.

• 1:41:54Speaker 01

  SpongeBob SquarePants!

• 1:41:56Speaker 02

  The nautical nuns, is this something you wish?

• 1:41:58Speaker 01

  SpongeBob SquarePants!

• 1:42:00Speaker 03

  And flop on the floor and talk like a fish.

• 1:42:02Speaker 01

  SpongeBob SquarePants! SpongeBob SquarePants! SpongeBob SquarePants! SpongeBob SquarePants! SpongeBob SquarePants!

• 1:42:17Speaker 03

  Need a mashup with Jolene in that. Rest in peace, Charlie Parry and Tim Carian.

• 1:42:21Speaker 05

  Cut the fiddle.

• 1:42:23Speaker 02

  Last Cultureist is a production by Will Ferrell's Big Money Players and iHeartRadio Podcasts.

• 1:42:27Speaker 01

  Created and hosted by Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang. Executive produced by Anna Hosni and produced by Becca Ramos. Edited by Hot Dog Sandwich. And our music is by Henry Kowalski.

• 1:42:39Speaker 01

  This ad is sponsored by Vive Healthcare.

• 1:42:42Speaker 02

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• 1:43:07Speaker 02

  Ooh, big new chapter energy. Nothing says fresh start like a new car smell.

• 1:43:15Speaker 01

  Exactly. It's fun to daydream about it. The color, the features, who I'll become as a person behind the wheel.

• 1:43:20Speaker 02

  You in sunglasses, windows down, suddenly responsible.

• 1:43:24Speaker 01

  Suddenly thriving. But when you're done dreaming, you need to head to cars.com.

• 1:43:28Speaker 02

  Yes, they've got over 2 million new and used cars nationwide. So whether you're going practical, sporty, or I just need something that fits the dog in the groceries, it's all there.

• 1:43:38Speaker 01

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• 1:43:48Speaker 02

  It's basically your co-pilot for your next phase.

• 1:43:50Speaker 01

  Start your search with cars.com. Where to next?

• 1:43:54Speaker 02

  Introducing M&M's Caramel you already love now popped into a totally new texture.

• 1:43:59Speaker 01

  I'd say M&M's are one of those truly iconic snacks.

• 1:44:02Speaker 02

  They've just launched a brand new freeze dried innovation that brings a whole new vibe to the M&M lineup.

• 1:44:08Speaker 01

  I mean, come on. What's not to love about M&M's?

• 1:44:12Speaker 02

  M&M's continues to be that girl. The crunch is unexpected in the best way.

• 1:44:17Speaker 01

  Way crisper than you'd think. Like you bite into one and there's the little pop that you don't see coming from something that still tastes like classic M&M's caramel.

• 1:44:26Speaker 02

  The best part is they've got that classic M&M's caramel flavor. It's available in stores now.

• 1:44:33Speaker 01

  Readers, quick but important announcement. Virgin Voyages is not just a cruise, it's a statement.

• 1:44:38Speaker 02

  Adults only. Immaculate vibes, over 20 eateries, epic entertainment, fitness classes, wifi, all included. We love transparency.

• 1:44:49Speaker 01

  They're selling the Caribbean, the med, the West Coast, and now Alaska. So whether it's sun drenched golden hour or full glacier core main character energy, they set range.

• 1:44:58Speaker 02

  And with all the awards they've won, the ships might sweep our culture awards. Slay of the sea, excellence in poolside looks, outstanding achievement in top deck behavior.

• 1:45:09Speaker 01

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• 1:45:10Speaker 02

  Sailors, consider yourselves called.

• 1:45:12Speaker 01

  Book it at virginvoyages.com or let your travel advisor handle it. Either way, you're welcome.

• 1:45:17Speaker 00

  This is an iHeart Podcast. Guaranteed human.