Specs Gonzalez Just Broke Joe Marler’s Brain

Specs Gonzalez lives by one simple philosophy: NO RULES. So naturally, Joe decides it’s his job to give him some. Specs explains why Australia might not be real, why he eats Rice Krispies with hot water, why he keeps cooked rice in his pocket and why even his closest friends don’t always know when he’s telling the truth. But can Dr Marler finally bring some structure to his life? Things get increasingly chaotic… and a game of Simon Says goes much further than anyone expected. GET TICKETS TO THE LIVE TOUR HERE: https://www.livenation.co.uk/joe-marler-will-see-you-live-tickets-adp1647830 Featuring Joe Marler (@joemarler17) and Jake Bhardwaj (@jakebhardwajtv) Follow the show on Instagram: @willseeyounowshow Joe Marler Will See You Now is a Platform Media production. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

• 0:00Speaker 00

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• 0:24Speaker 01

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• 0:54Speaker 02

  Jake, I don't usually do this, but I'm gonna have to bring up some personal GDPR issues. I don't know about that, man. What do you mean? Right, before we stepped into the office, you were flicking through your phone. Yeah. And you were showing me the amount of- Oh, yeah, because everyone in this bloody office has got some sort of, like, I don't know, optimized wake-up routine, where like Amy, Amy- What do you mean, everyone? Amy's got some sort of like sunset lamp that wakes her up very gently to start the day in the calmest way possible. And it's absolutely fine if that's how she wants to wake up in the morning. And what do you do? How do you wake up?

• 1:35Speaker 02

  Well, just, my alarm goes off and I make sure it's away from the bed. Yeah. So I actually have to physically get up, so I actually tuck it on- Let's see what your alarms are. Let's have a look. What my alarms are? Yeah, on your phone. Well, this is why I'm breathing this up, Jake, because I have a slight concern. There's my alarms. Three. Yeah, you've got three. 5:02, 5:04, 8 o'clock. Just in case you want to lie in. I don't, I think that's maybe weekends, maybe. Yeah, okay, fine. This is me.

• 2:12Speaker 02

  I need an explanation, mate. That was at least four, five scrolls. Yeah, so basically, any time I need to wake up is sort of all in there. So you've got your, you've got your fives, your 535s, your 540s, your 540 sixes. That moves into your sixes, your 628s, your 630s, 632s. That's the sort of thing I would use for when I'm getting up for doing this. If I've got something else going on in the day that starts a bit later, you get your 713s, your 715s, all the way through to your 725s and 727s. I appreciate it a bit mad that I've got three 730s there.

• 2:44Speaker 02

  But you can never be too certain. And then maybe if something starts at, you've got two eights there. Then if you've got something that maybe starts, like, I've got to be somewhere for like 10 o'clock, I won't need to get up till about 8. Or if it starts at half 8, I won't need to get up till about half 8. Or if it starts about like 11 o'clock, then you get into your nines. So coming through to your nines. Now you've got your 901s, your 904s, your 910s, your 915s. Moving all the way through to your 10s. No. And now we're in the territory where, this territory is probably if I've had like, say, a big night out or whatever, but I still, I don't want to lose all of Saturday. I might, as a contingency, have some, something in the 11s is. And then the 12s. And then we're into sort of, I guess this territory is when I've had afternoon naps.

• 3:28Speaker 02

  So I've set them for, because I know that I want to have an afternoon nap for 90 minutes, but I'll do it from the second that I've gone to bed. So if I've been to bed at, you know, the minute is 14, 11:14 or whatever, I don't know, yeah, I then set them for 1:14. You've got your 2s, your 3s, your 4s, you know how numbers work, your 5s, and then your 6s. I'll be honest with you, I'm not really, this is the bit that makes me a bit anxious looking at it. I'm not sure why I've set alarms for 8s, 9s, and then, yeah, I've got a few in the sort of, like, these creep me out.

• 4:08Speaker 02

  10:49 at night I've set an alarm for, 11:10, 11:16.

• 4:17Speaker 02

  But, you know, the function's there, so use it.

• 4:23Speaker 02

  It's maybe it's a little bit of envy. Why? What do you mean? But when you said, oh, I get into like the 1 o'clock, 2 o'clock alarms for mid-afternoon nap, I'm like, you're 32 years of age, how are you still having mid-afternoon naps? Time management. What do you mean? So- What do you mean, time management? Why aren't you at work? Why aren't you doing something? It's the day. Be awake. Be alive. Nah, that's rubbish, man. You can be awake, we're awake for so much stuff. I think naps give me pleasure and the joy to be able to sort of face the rest of the day. So you think I should try that? I really do. You never nap? Nap? Do you guys nap? Do you nap? Nap? Anyone in the building nap?

• 5:08Speaker 02

  Sander, you nap? When do you nap? During the record.

• 5:12Speaker 03

  Nice Saturday afternoon.

• 5:13Speaker 02

  Oh, gorgeous. Saturday, Sunday afternoon. That's the day to go and do stuff.

• 5:18Speaker 03

  I've been out and had a swim.

• 5:19Speaker 02

  We're all doing stuff, mate. The world's full of people fucking doing stuff. You doing stuff's not, oh, I did something today. We've all, everyone's doing stuff, mate. But you know what people are not doing? Is taking a second to reset and look after the body. Mate, we're all doing stuff all week. Day of rest. So what are you doing? Trying to have a nap. No, not now. We're doing stuff. You just said you should try it sometime. Yeah, but not when you're at work, to rest from work. But then you, but then you were like, oh, maybe you should try it because it would give you some sort of juices, it would give you something like a dream or inspire you to do something. Alone. And I was hoping that before- Alone, at home, in a bed when you're not working. Oh, but I was hoping before our next guest came on that maybe I could like, is there

• 6:04Speaker 02

  something like in my head that I could like, go, right, that's what we're gonna help him with today? I don't know what we're gonna help him with today, if I'm honest with you. Are you worried about this one? Not worried, wha- I think that he is gonna be someone who completely takes us off guard. He's got, yeah, he's got spectacles. Are you allowed to do that anymore? Uh, I think so. I don't think there's any, I don't think it's- I thought at school, if you did that to someone with glasses, they'd be like, oh, that's not very nice. Yeah, I know, but it's not, you're not, it's not a hate crime or anything. I think you're fine. Can you do the other one? Or can you make, can you make your goggles go with your hands up the other way? Oh, that, yeah, I could do that. Oh, how?

• 6:49Speaker 02

  Can you not do that?

• 6:52Speaker 02

  How do you bend your hands up there? You've got such big arms, I guess. Yeah, but how does that make a difference? Look at that. Yeah. Yeah, look at that. They're all doing it. They're all doing it. No way! For the audio listener, everyone in the office is doing it. Sander, can you get a bit of that? Can we get a bit of that? I think it's because the tweets- Look at that. Can we get a bit of that all the way through?

• 7:13Speaker 02

  Look at that. Okay, Yarn's not doing it, I'll be honest with you. Yarn is- That's because Yarn's actually got glasses. He's, he's fine. Yarn, you don't need to do it. You've got the glasses.

• 7:28Speaker 02

  Sander, can we go in here? Can we get in here? Sander, can we get in here? Can we get, Sander, come on. I don't think we can actually get in here. Sander, come with me.

• 7:40Speaker 02

  Look at that. They're all doing it. They're all doing it. But come, why? Why are they doing it? They're doing it because we've got the most famous bespectacled person in the country. We've got the most famous glasses wearer in the country. We've got someone who is famous for wearing his glasses on YouTube, on the TV, on his podcast. It's together, it's Specs Gonzalez!

• 8:12Speaker 02

  That was a one-shot, innit?

• 8:13Speaker 02

  Bro, you ain't got nothing on adolescence here. See you later. Let's go. Mate, Specs Gonzalez. Have you ever met him? Do you know the guy? I brushed past him when I was dressed as Trixie Turnover in drag. Did you? Yeah, he was, it was Comic Relief and I was getting all dragged up and he was getting ready to do the content creator song that he did, like a YouTuber song. But you didn't get to like chat a lot? No, I just said, hello, nice to meet you. His whole thing, right, is no rules. No rules. I don't think that's gonna be a spoiler because he's very open about it. There's no rules to anything. It's his brand, isn't it? What's the biggest rule you've ever broken? Such a good question. I wish I had an answer to it. I, I don't pay for garlic.

• 9:29Speaker 02

  I don't.

• 9:30Speaker 03

  Pardon?

• 9:31Speaker 02

  I don't pay for garlic. Ever. Ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever.

• 9:38Speaker 03

  As in, you never buy it?

• 9:40Speaker 02

  No, I buy it. I've got loads of garlic. I always cook with garlic. But I never, I never pay for it. I will always, I will always, I'll always just feed it through with something that's like quite heavy because garlic isn't very heavy and just feed it through. And what's great about this is that this is a perfor-, this is, we're, we're sort of in performance. So there's no way that you can't, you could say this wasn't like a bit. So they'll never get me.

• 10:04Speaker 02

  And even if they did, the prisons are so overflowing at the moment. They're not going to put someone in there for maybe stealing garlic.

• 10:11Speaker 03

  Thank you for being honest.

• 10:12Speaker 02

  Well, or I'm not being honest. I don't wanna.

• 10:14Speaker 03

  Okay. Thank you for potentially being honest.

• 10:16Speaker 02

  That's all right.

• 10:18Speaker 03

  My question to you is.

• 10:20Speaker 02

  Uh.

• 10:21Speaker 03

  Why? Out of all the things you could nab.

• 10:24Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm.

• 10:25Speaker 03

  Yeah?

• 10:27Speaker 03

  Why have you gone for the cheapest thing?

• 10:29Speaker 02

  Cause I, cause I like the thrill of stealing it, but I just can't, I'm too scared to nick anything more expensive than that. It's such a thrill when you get away with it, but I, or if you were to get away with it. Cause if you were to do it. But I just, there's no, there's no, like, there's no way I'm gonna nick a loaf of bread.

• 10:48Speaker 03

  I don't wanna force you into this situation because you, you'll do it if and when you're ready.

• 10:53Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm.

• 10:54Speaker 03

  But I would highly recommend you have kids at some point.

• 10:56Speaker 02

  Why?

• 10:57Speaker 03

  Cause they're just fantastic.

• 10:59Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah.

• 11:00Speaker 03

  Cause you go, you go wandering around a shop. You say, here, hold on to this for us. And they go, cool. You walk straight out and you don't have the fear, like, you've got, but you know it's happening. And you go, this is great. Like, I'm, I'm living vicariously through them.

• 11:19Speaker 02

  You've not bought garlic for years.

• 11:21Speaker 03

  And then they go. For me, I'm like, if they get caught, I get to go, oh, so, oh, why, oh, why did you pick that up? Oh, sorry. Yeah, we'll put that back. Yeah, cool. Um, if they don't get caught, it's great.

• 11:34Speaker 02

  I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna speculate as to whether he is stolen anything or if that's how his rule breaking presents itself, but I'd love to know more about the rule breaking.

• 11:44Speaker 03

  Hello, Janet. Could you please send in Specs Gonzalez? Yes, thank you.

• 11:52Speaker 03

  Specs Gonzalez, everybody!

• 11:54Speaker 02

  Come on. Come on.

• 11:56Speaker 04

  Thank you.

• 11:59Speaker 04

  How are you, man? You all right?

• 12:02Speaker 04

  Oh, man.

• 12:02Speaker 02

  Oh, that's nice. Oh, yeah.

• 12:04Speaker 04

  Sorry, man, sorry. That was you. That was your arms.

• 12:06Speaker 03

  Sit down in the chair.

• 12:07Speaker 04

  All right, cheers.

• 12:09Speaker 02

  That's taking a big tumble, that.

• 12:13Speaker 04

  Sorry, man, you're a big guy.

• 12:14Speaker 02

  You're a big guy?

• 12:15Speaker 03

  Welcome.

• 12:17Speaker 04

  Thank you, man.

• 12:17Speaker 03

  It's great to have you here.

• 12:18Speaker 04

  Thank you. By the way, I just let you know I'm recording you, by the way.

• 12:20Speaker 03

  What?

• 12:21Speaker 04

  Yeah, I've got cameras in my glasses.

• 12:23Speaker 02

  Whoa, the tables have turned quite quickly.

• 12:26Speaker 03

  Are you allowed to film us?

• 12:27Speaker 04

  Uh, I'm allowed.

• 12:29Speaker 02

  I mean, it's a bit ritual. We've got eight cameras pointed at him, isn't it?

• 12:33Speaker 03

  Specs, this is Jake. This is my research assistant, Jake.

• 12:36Speaker 04

  Love you, Jake, man.

• 12:37Speaker 02

  Specs, uh, I'm sorry if this is too strong early on, but you've brought an energy and a light that is much needed in this office and I appreciate it.

• 12:43Speaker 04

  Thank you.

• 12:43Speaker 02

  I can feel it already, yeah. Yeah.

• 12:45Speaker 03

  And they're real glasses.

• 12:46Speaker 04

  Do you wanna wear them?

• 12:49Speaker 04

  Sorry.

• 12:51Speaker 03

  Oh, you've got such beautiful eyes.

• 12:52Speaker 04

  Thank you, man.

• 12:53Speaker 03

  Why'd you wear these?

• 12:54Speaker 04

  Cause I need them.

• 12:55Speaker 03

  Oh, to see.

• 12:56Speaker 04

  Exactly.

• 12:59Speaker 04

  Yep.

• 13:00Speaker 03

  Wow.

• 13:01Speaker 04

  Nine.

• 13:01Speaker 03

  I can definitely, I can definitely understand.

• 13:04Speaker 04

  Nine K.

• 13:05Speaker 02

  Nine?

• 13:05Speaker 04

  Um, I'm, I'm gonna say, yeah, I know, yeah.

• 13:10Speaker 03

  Are you like registered blind?

• 13:12Speaker 04

  Uh, nearly.

• 13:13Speaker 03

  That is, they're so thick.

• 13:17Speaker 03

  Wow.

• 13:17Speaker 04

  It's the worst, I've got the worst eyes in the UK.

• 13:19Speaker 03

  First thing we get all our guests to do, um, is answer an intake questionnaire. Full, full name?

• 13:26Speaker 04

  Ferdinand Charles Shabango Ume.

• 13:29Speaker 04

  Oh, oh, Specs Gonzalez, sorry.

• 13:32Speaker 03

  Your, your first, your first name's Ferdinand?

• 13:36Speaker 04

  That's right.

• 13:36Speaker 03

  Like after the bull?

• 13:37Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 13:38Speaker 03

  And then the other three names?

• 13:40Speaker 04

  Shabango Charles Ume.

• 13:41Speaker 03

  Where's Specs Gonzalez coming to then?

• 13:43Speaker 04

  So Specs is Glasses and Gonzalez is because I was the fastest in my year in secondary school when I was 26 years old.

• 13:54Speaker 02

  Were you the teacher? What?

• 13:58Speaker 03

  What do you mean you were the fastest in your secondary school when you were 26?

• 14:02Speaker 04

  That's what I mean.

• 14:03Speaker 03

  Were you held back? Like loads?

• 14:06Speaker 04

  You can, you can basically say that, yeah.

• 14:08Speaker 02

  And what year, what year were you in?

• 14:10Speaker 04

  Year 11.

• 14:10Speaker 02

  Year 11? All right, it's great. So you just were held back by 10 years as well?

• 14:13Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 14:15Speaker 04

  I don't understand why you laugh. I'm, I'm just being honest.

• 14:16Speaker 02

  Yeah, I know.

• 14:17Speaker 04

  I've been recording you and you're laughing.

• 14:19Speaker 03

  Well, you can, you can recall it all you, all you, all you want. Star sign?

• 14:25Speaker 04

  I'm a Taurus. That's why I'm stubborn.

• 14:28Speaker 03

  Like the bull? That's right. Like your real name?

• 14:30Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm. Oh, it's all connected, isn't it?

• 14:32Speaker 04

  I love being a Taurus. Love strong. Care. Stubborn. Um, they say that we are strong-minded. And we are passionate. And 80% of us have imagi-, imaginary friends. I was a naughty child. I had an imaginary friend.

• 14:50Speaker 03

  What was he called?

• 14:51Speaker 04

  Shabango.

• 14:53Speaker 03

  Shabango?

• 14:54Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm.

• 14:55Speaker 03

  What, what did he do? What was his thing?

• 14:58Speaker 04

  His thing was, um, Mondays are Friday with me, weekends are his, his dad's.

• 15:12Speaker 03

  Well, what was the most common thing you and Shabango would get up to?

• 15:16Speaker 04

  Um, just argue most of the time, you know?

• 15:18Speaker 03

  Hmm.

• 15:19Speaker 04

  So a lot of arguments. He was six foot six.

• 15:22Speaker 03

  What's your occupation?

• 15:23Speaker 04

  My job now?

• 15:24Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 15:26Speaker 04

  Oh. I've gone from being a teacher to a content career. I'm a loser, man.

• 15:32Speaker 02

  Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

• 15:34Speaker 03

  Whoa, whoa.

• 15:35Speaker 02

  I said at the start of this, you brought a lightning energy that's much needed in this office and I meant it. So I don't want any of that.

• 15:40Speaker 04

  No, I am, man. I am. Come on.

• 15:41Speaker 02

  Whoa, what are you talking about? You're the win-, you're a winner.

• 15:43Speaker 04

  I don't think so. I'm a loser, man.

• 15:45Speaker 03

  Last time you told a lie, and what was it?

• 15:48Speaker 04

  Oh, I lie all the time. The last time I told a lie. Um, telling my podcast boys that I've gotta go hands for a stag.

• 16:03Speaker 04

  But I just went by myself cause I needed a break. But I lie all the time cause lying is free. I think lying is great for the soul.

• 16:13Speaker 03

  I don't think lying is free.

• 16:14Speaker 04

  It is free.

• 16:15Speaker 03

  Well, it's not, cause like, when you lie, there's consequences to those lies.

• 16:20Speaker 04

  Like?

• 16:22Speaker 04

  Cause I remember a lie.

• 16:23Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 16:23Speaker 04

  I say my notes.

• 16:24Speaker 02

  If you're bad at lying, there's consequences.

• 16:26Speaker 04

  Exactly.

• 16:26Speaker 02

  If you're good at lying, it's free.

• 16:27Speaker 04

  I'm, I'm very good at lying.

• 16:28Speaker 03

  Who's your best celebrity friend?

• 16:31Speaker 04

  Angry Ginge at the moment.

• 16:33Speaker 03

  At the moment?

• 16:34Speaker 04

  Mm-hmm.

• 16:34Speaker 03

  What, what do you envisage would change?

• 16:36Speaker 04

  Ah, change. If he, for example, I watched Angry Ginge fight racism in America and he lost.

• 16:46Speaker 04

  I've never seen that before.

• 16:46Speaker 02

  I thought, yeah, he, he gave it a go, yeah.

• 16:49Speaker 04

  You can't lose that.

• 16:57Speaker 03

  I've never met anyone like this before.

• 17:00Speaker 02

  I think you're meeting, like, this, you guys are so similar. I can't express this enough.

• 17:05Speaker 03

  What's, what's your life mantra?

• 17:07Speaker 04

  What's that mean mantra?

• 17:08Speaker 03

  Uh, what do you live like, what's your set? Like, my, my set, my life that I live by is there's always a choice.

• 17:13Speaker 02

  Hmm.

• 17:14Speaker 03

  Yeah, that's my go-to. Look, there's always a choice. No matter what you're doing, there's always a choice.

• 17:18Speaker 02

  Mine's just like, they'll always let you down in the end.

• 17:22Speaker 03

  Or like Stone Cold.

• 17:23Speaker 02

  Or you could have, or you could have, live life, love.

• 17:24Speaker 03

  Stone Cold goes DTA, don't trust anyone.

• 17:27Speaker 04

  Uh, mine's just no rules.

• 17:29Speaker 03

  No rules?

• 17:30Speaker 04

  Yeah, no rules. Who cares?

• 17:31Speaker 02

  But that is not a lie, cause I spotted something earlier.

• 17:34Speaker 03

  Mm-hmm.

• 17:35Speaker 02

  Would we, would it be all right if I sort of present, like, drew attention to your socks?

• 17:43Speaker 02

  Wow. No rules on the socks?

• 17:45Speaker 03

  Although the, the R's the wrong way around, so you might wanna get them sent back and.

• 17:48Speaker 04

  Yeah, there's no rules.

• 17:49Speaker 03

  But there's no rules.

• 17:51Speaker 04

  There you go.

• 17:52Speaker 02

  Specs, I've never, I've never met someone before who has same legs as me.

• 17:56Speaker 04

  Oh, well, I have got no coughs.

• 17:57Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 17:58Speaker 04

  No coughs, but they're fast though.

• 17:59Speaker 03

  Just tib, fib, skin.

• 18:01Speaker 04

  Exactly.

• 18:02Speaker 03

  I'm a bit worried to say this last bit. Um, do you consent to being analysed by someone who's not a real doctor?

• 18:10Speaker 04

  Uh, yeah, I'll give you a consent. I'm recording you, so you can do what you want.

• 18:14Speaker 04

  There's no rules, man.

• 18:19Speaker 03

  Right, so Specs, your mantra in life is no rules.

• 18:22Speaker 04

  That's right.

• 18:22Speaker 03

  But without rules, that means there's only anarchy.

• 18:27Speaker 02

  Hmm.

• 18:28Speaker 03

  You're compulsive, enigmatic, and you never stick to the plan.

• 18:34Speaker 04

  Never.

• 18:34Speaker 03

  But with anarchy and no rules.

• 18:39Speaker 03

  It's just, it's just absolute carnage. We, we need structure in our lives. We need, every time you move.

• 18:48Speaker 03

  You're like getting a refocus on it or something.

• 18:50Speaker 04

  Of course.

• 18:50Speaker 03

  That's why. Um, if we don't have that structure, everything crumbles and today I'm gonna help teach you to build some structure in your life and, uh, realise how important rules are. How, how do you feel about that?

• 19:06Speaker 04

  Um, I don't think you're gonna win, but you can try.

• 19:12Speaker 03

  Right, well, before we actually delve a little bit deeper into the why.

• 19:16Speaker 04

  Hmm.

• 19:17Speaker 03

  Let's discuss the what. You know, right here, I've got your rap sheet that I'd like you to explain to us.

• 19:26Speaker 04

  I'm not a rapper.

• 19:29Speaker 03

  Can you rap?

• 19:30Speaker 04

  I used to be a rapper. Long time ago.

• 19:33Speaker 03

  Is it like a freestyle rap? Can you do any freestyle now?

• 19:36Speaker 04

  Um.

• 19:37Speaker 03

  Or do you need a little bit of time?

• 19:39Speaker 04

  Yeah, I can give you a little rap now. Um.

• 19:41Speaker 03

  Hit me, baby.

• 19:43Speaker 04

  I'm a big man, but I'm not 40. I fell asleep in Malice. I had a dream that I beat up Stormzy. Then I woke up, went on a podcast, told him a different story. Look at my face. I burgled my own house and I caught me.

• 20:03Speaker 04

  Did you see the bars?

• 20:04Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 20:05Speaker 04

  There was no rules in that bars.

• 20:06Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 20:06Speaker 04

  And even Stormzy messaged me laughing. And that didn't happen.

• 20:11Speaker 04

  I told Stormzy I had a dream that I'd beat him up.

• 20:13Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm.

• 20:14Speaker 04

  And he laughed at me. But other rappers wouldn't do that. Other rappers would talk the serious stuff. I woke up this morning, I went and done this and that. No one cares. Tell me about your imagination.

• 20:23Speaker 02

  There was even no rules in the sort of rhyming structure as well, which I quite like.

• 20:25Speaker 04

  Of course not.

• 20:27Speaker 04

  And then I start talking about my son straight after burgling my own house. There's no rules. I can go anywhere I want.

• 20:33Speaker 03

  But you can't burgle your own house.

• 20:36Speaker 04

  Exactly. It's imagination. But I'm turning my imagination to reality. That's what I'm doing, Joe.

• 20:43Speaker 03

  Right, right here, I've got a few well documented scenarios to run through and I'd like to get a better understanding of what led you to do these things.

• 20:54Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm.

• 20:54Speaker 03

  Okay, so bear with me.

• 20:57Speaker 02

  And we're just like, this is a safe space. You can talk about any rule breaking situation. Joe has been a rule breaker on the rugby pitch.

• 21:03Speaker 04

  Amazing.

• 21:04Speaker 02

  I've been a bloody rule breaker as well, you know, from time to time.

• 21:11Speaker 04

  Have you?

• 21:12Speaker 02

  Yeah, I can't think of a specific occasion, but yeah, yeah. But it's more that Joe's been a rule breaker, so you're in a safe space.

• 21:18Speaker 03

  Says here you crashed your daughter's night out and posted it on TikTok.

• 21:22Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah, of course.

• 21:23Speaker 03

  Can you explain?

• 21:24Speaker 04

  Beautiful, no, sorry.

• 21:26Speaker 03

  That breaks all sort of parenting rules.

• 21:28Speaker 04

  What parenting? I didn't sign a manual. When I raised my daughter, I didn't sign no manuals or anything. She's 21 years old. She's saying to me, Dad, I'm going to this party in Shoreditch.

• 21:40Speaker 04

  She's with her mates. I'm like, oh, I'll come. She's like, no. You ain't got a ticket? They start laughing at me. But they want me to drop them there. I'm like, cool. So I've dropped them to the party. And I'm thinking to myself, there's no rules. I can walk into this party. Why not?

• 21:58Speaker 04

  So she's gone in. I'm in the car. I get up, I go to the door. Bounce is like, oh. Bro, have you got a ticket? I said, no. Oh, it's 20 pound at the door. I said, I'm not paying. I just wanted to see what my daughter's doing. All right, cool, go ahead. Walked in. Busy party. And I thought, you know, I know my daughter. She doesn't like being on the dance floor. She's gonna be upstairs, like by the bar. So I walked up there, had my phone out straight away. And I saw her with her friends dancing with the boys. So I've gone right up to her, but I'm behind her. She's turned around. And she's just thinking, I'm just like a normal guy from the club. So she starts dancing with me.

• 22:41Speaker 04

  She turns back around, turns back and realises it's me and everyone scatters. And I was like, amazing, posted on TikTok, no rules. And I wanted to show her as well that there's no rules I can get in the club. I can walk in anywhere you're going. And don't tell me I need a ticket. And if I'm saying to her I can come, just let me come.

• 23:02Speaker 02

  And then that bring you closer together?

• 23:04Speaker 04

  Oh, no, she's fuming. She missed the boat.

• 23:11Speaker 02

  No rules, I suppose.

• 23:12Speaker 04

  No rules. No rules.

• 23:14Speaker 03

  Do you think if she'd have said, yeah, dad, you can come, you wouldn't have gone?

• 23:19Speaker 04

  I wouldn't have gone, yeah.

• 23:20Speaker 03

  No.

• 23:25Speaker 03

  I like it. You also don't have any rules when it comes to your diet, apparently.

• 23:31Speaker 04

  I eat pasta every day.

• 23:32Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm.

• 23:33Speaker 03

  Every, like, you're carb loading for something?

• 23:35Speaker 04

  No, I just love pasta. I think pasta's class.

• 23:38Speaker 02

  Carb loading for life is fucking exhausting. Fuck me. It's so much to do. I relate to that. I have pasta every day pretty much as well.

• 23:44Speaker 04

  I like pasta, just two, I like bolognese and I like arrabbiata. That's it.

• 23:49Speaker 03

  Penne, arrabbiata?

• 23:51Speaker 04

  It has to be penne. It can't be spaghetti. I don't like spaghetti. It's too long.

• 23:54Speaker 03

  You don't like spaghetti?

• 23:55Speaker 04

  Yeah, spaghetti's too long.

• 23:56Speaker 03

  It has to be penne.

• 23:57Speaker 04

  It has to be penne.

• 23:57Speaker 03

  What about fusilli?

• 23:59Speaker 04

  Fusilli is that their little, that's cool. Yeah, food has to be short.

• 24:02Speaker 03

  Says you eat Rice Krispies with hot water.

• 24:05Speaker 04

  Yeah, I don't have no, I don't do milk.

• 24:08Speaker 02

  You don't do any dairy, do you?

• 24:09Speaker 03

  Rice Krispies with hot water?

• 24:10Speaker 04

  Yeah, hot water and brown sugar. They should have put brown sugar in there.

• 24:14Speaker 03

  What about the carrot sandwich?

• 24:16Speaker 04

  Oh, I love a carrot sandwich.

• 24:20Speaker 03

  You're doing this on purpose, aren't you?

• 24:21Speaker 04

  No, bread, bread. But that's what I'm saying. Show me a manual food. Show me why I can't have.

• 24:27Speaker 03

  Well, there's actually loads of manuals of food and they tend to be called cookbooks.

• 24:31Speaker 04

  Oh, wow, yeah, I haven't. I read them.

• 24:35Speaker 02

  Specs, we've got some of the most popular, well, popular unpopular food combinations. We want to put them to you, see how you rate them. Chips in milkshake.

• 24:44Speaker 04

  Where's the milkshake?

• 24:46Speaker 02

  What do you mean, where's the milkshake? It's in like, it's all, it's all,

• 24:50Speaker 03

  It's made like in the yard.

• 24:51Speaker 04

  No, where is it? Is it on the plate? Is it on top of the chips?

• 24:54Speaker 02

  No, no, no, fair play. It's in the, it's in the paper cup that you've got from any of the popular fast food restaurants.

• 25:01Speaker 04

  And the chips is in there.

• 25:03Speaker 02

  You're dipping the chips in.

• 25:07Speaker 04

  So I can dip them, so I don't have to dip them.

• 25:10Speaker 02

  Well, for this, for this particular bit of the conversation, you're dipping them, yeah. Otherwise, then I'm just, yeah.

• 25:15Speaker 04

  I'll tell you what, I can work with it if they're both not touching.

• 25:19Speaker 02

  They're gonna, for the nature of the dipping, man, they're gonna touch, they're gonna touch.

• 25:23Speaker 04

  No, no, no, I'm telling you, I need a tiny gap, though. I need a tiny gap.

• 25:27Speaker 03

  What do you mean, they're not touching?

• 25:29Speaker 02

  They're not dipped, they've not, so.

• 25:30Speaker 04

  Okay, I'm gonna give you an example.

• 25:31Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 25:31Speaker 04

  In my coffee shop right now, I'm selling beans by toast. Not beans on toast. For £3.70. That means the beans and toast on the plate are not allowed to touch. So there's a space.

• 25:46Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 25:46Speaker 04

  Which means you can eat one by one. That's me.

• 25:50Speaker 04

  So if you're saying the chips and the milkshake, I'm not touching, I'll do it. If there needs to be some sort of touching, then that's how I eat my food. I need, there needs to be space here and there.

• 26:01Speaker 03

  So they can't touch? Sounds like a rule to me.

• 26:04Speaker 04

  No, but it's, it's not, it's not, it's not a rule like that.

• 26:11Speaker 04

  It's what I want.

• 26:12Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 26:13Speaker 04

  I'm not, okay, rice. Have you ever had rice in your pocket?

• 26:23Speaker 03

  Aye. Cooked or uncooked?

• 26:26Speaker 04

  Rice, cooked.

• 26:28Speaker 02

  What happens when you put rice in your pocket?

• 26:30Speaker 04

  I put rice in my pocket. We go, let's say we've had food and we're going to a bar.

• 26:34Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 26:35Speaker 04

  I'm at the bar.

• 26:36Speaker 02

  Rice.

• 26:37Speaker 04

  Eating bits of rice. So again, okay, but.

• 26:40Speaker 02

  That is, that is a recipe for salmonella, that, isn't it? That is E. coli waiting to happen.

• 26:45Speaker 04

  Why can't I do that? Because you haven't seen it before, right?

• 26:49Speaker 02

  With the rice thing, I think.

• 26:51Speaker 04

  Rice is a learned behaviour.

• 26:52Speaker 02

  Because of E. coli, I think you're gonna get ill if you keep doing that.

• 26:55Speaker 04

  I've not got ill, though.

• 26:56Speaker 02

  How long is the rice in your pocket before you might eat it again? What's the longest?

• 27:00Speaker 04

  35 minutes?

• 27:01Speaker 02

  35 minutes?

• 27:02Speaker 04

  Maybe a half.

• 27:04Speaker 02

  35 minutes?

• 27:11Speaker 04

  There's too many rules in this world, man. I remember, I remember when I was young, yeah, packed lunch.

• 27:16Speaker 02

  Mm.

• 27:17Speaker 04

  Having a packed lunchbox was a big thing. I used to have a carrier bag. A blue carrier bag.

• 27:24Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 27:25Speaker 04

  When I'm eating, there's noise, everyone's laughing and cussing me. There's no rules. Why do I have to have a lunchbox? Because everyone's got a Thomas and Tank Engine lunchbox too.

• 27:33Speaker 02

  Mm.

• 27:34Speaker 04

  That's why my son, I give my things to his bag.

• 27:38Speaker 02

  See, every time you say one that I think makes sense, like that one, then you say something like you keep rice in your pocket for 35 minutes. But as long as it doesn't need to make sense to me, it makes sense to you.

• 27:47Speaker 03

  Okay, so that was food.

• 27:52Speaker 02

  I think we nailed that. That's sorted, man.

• 27:54Speaker 03

  Talk me through travel. I've got a note here from Jake's extensive research.

• 28:00Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 28:01Speaker 03

  That he did on you. You refuse, shock, to believe Australia's a real place.

• 28:08Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 28:09Speaker 03

  And that you think people from Australia are actors.

• 28:14Speaker 04

  I think it's, I think it's like obvious now. There's more kangaroos than human beings. It's a country and a continent. And it's the only country in the world that has animals that are nowhere else in the world. Like wild animals. And we're gonna just accept this as real. And this is normal. I'm not having it.

• 28:39Speaker 03

  Genuinely, what the fuck?

• 28:42Speaker 04

  This is what I believe. Have you been there?

• 28:44Speaker 03

  Where?

• 28:45Speaker 04

  Australia.

• 28:46Speaker 03

  Yeah. I flew there.

• 28:49Speaker 04

  Did you ever have a kangaroo burger?

• 28:52Speaker 03

  No.

• 28:54Speaker 02

  What does that prove? Sorry, what does that bit prove? Because you've done that as if you've done that sort of like a checkmate moment.

• 29:01Speaker 03

  Told you.

• 29:02Speaker 02

  Well, and if he had have had a kangaroo burger, I'd anticipate you would have gone. Sue?

• 29:06Speaker 04

  Does that sound, do you know what a kangaroo is?

• 29:11Speaker 04

  No, but this is what I'm.

• 29:12Speaker 03

  Why are you lying about any country?

• 29:14Speaker 04

  So you don't find kangaroos weird? They stand on their tail?

• 29:17Speaker 02

  I find them weird. Oh, but Specs, I cannot relate to us. I find them weird. I find a lot of Australian stuff weird. I find the fact that they've got the.

• 29:24Speaker 04

  Would you put your kids in your pocket?

• 29:24Speaker 02

  I would not keep my kids in my pocket, but that doesn't mean that they don't exist.

• 29:28Speaker 04

  Okay, let me ask you this.

• 29:28Speaker 03

  You can't put your kids in your pocket if it's full of soggy rice.

• 29:37Speaker 05

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• 30:06Speaker 00

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• 31:07Speaker 03

  This episode is brought to you by Cadbury. Now Jake, as you know, I've loved working with you. We'd never met before doing this, but you've gone out of your way to make me feel comfortable, warm and cuddly, both professionally and personally.

• 31:23Speaker 02

  But I think, I think you do that for me, I think you do that for so many people and you've met so many people in your life as well. I just think, I often wonder, have you met someone who's gone above and beyond to be kind or to help you?

• 31:37Speaker 03

  Oh, to be fair, there's, there's loads.

• 31:40Speaker 02

  Hmm.

• 31:41Speaker 03

  Probably one that sticks out though will be a woman called Anne.

• 31:45Speaker 02

  Oh yeah.

• 31:46Speaker 03

  Oh yeah.

• 31:47Speaker 02

  Tell me about Anne.

• 31:48Speaker 03

  Now you're interested.

• 31:49Speaker 02

  I am.

• 31:49Speaker 03

  She took me in when I was 16. I went and lived with her and her family for my first 12, 18 months when I joined Quins. She let me become part of her family, basically.

• 32:01Speaker 02

  So without Anne, your sort of story with Harley Quins might not have panned out the same way?

• 32:06Speaker 03

  Almost certainly wouldn't have panned out the same way, no.

• 32:08Speaker 02

  Wow.

• 32:09Speaker 03

  She was very kind to me, looked after me, kept me well fed.

• 32:14Speaker 02

  Hmm.

• 32:17Speaker 03

  And then ended up becoming a really good friend of mine for the rest of my life and we're still in touch now. So yeah, she went above and beyond by going, opening up her arms and her house to be like, who's this random little scallywag that we're gonna let into our home and try and develop into a rugby player?

• 32:35Speaker 02

  Genuinely, that is beautiful. It's so nice to be able to find those moments of generosity in all sorts of situations and the wonderful people at Cadbury are all about helping others and encouraging us to go above and beyond, which is why I think we should try and go above and beyond for someone important in our lives.

• 32:55Speaker 03

  Are you thinking who I'm thinking?

• 32:56Speaker 02

  I think so.

• 32:57Speaker 03

  On three, let's see if we're thinking the same person. One, two, three. Janet.

• 33:03Speaker 02

  Janet?

• 33:04Speaker 03

  Yeah, let's do something for Janet.

• 33:06Speaker 02

  I think let's take her for a day out at the fair.

• 33:09Speaker 03

  You want to take her to a fun fair?

• 33:10Speaker 02

  Hmm.

• 33:11Speaker 03

  Oh, that's sweet.

• 33:12Speaker 02

  It's the most fun thing I could think of, a nice day out.

• 33:14Speaker 03

  Maybe a bit, a bit of chocky wacky?

• 33:17Speaker 02

  Yeah, why not? Because as the folks at Cadbury say.

• 33:19Speaker 03

  There is a glass and a half in everyone.

• 33:23Speaker 02

  Beautiful.

• 33:26Speaker 03

  Let's move on to your rule breaking in friendships.

• 33:29Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm.

• 33:30Speaker 03

  Seeing as Jake, you brought up me and you being friends.

• 33:33Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 33:35Speaker 03

  You've got a big love for rule breaking in friendships because even your friends don't know when you're telling the truth. Is there a video of you breaking down in tears, leaving your friends concerned, but it was all a lie?

• 33:48Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 33:49Speaker 03

  What was that concern?

• 33:50Speaker 04

  That was my best, that was actually my best lie.

• 33:52Speaker 03

  That was your best lie?

• 33:52Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 33:53Speaker 03

  And what was it?

• 33:54Speaker 04

  Uh, I was on a reality show called Inside.

• 33:58Speaker 03

  Hmm, the Netflix one?

• 33:59Speaker 04

  The Netflix one, Sidemen. Sidemen. And basically there was this like thing where you go into the temptation room. And I went down to the temptation room and then I came up and I thought, I need to make a massive lie here. So I pretended that um, my parents, uh, who passed away years ago have just come back. And I cried and I told them and they were like, what the fuck? And basically, yeah, that's what it was. I lost my mum when I was 10, I lost my dad a couple of years ago and so I was obsessed. And I believe in my mind, obviously there's no rules, that I'm gonna catch one of them on the train soon.

• 34:45Speaker 04

  So I know, but that's just in my mind.

• 34:49Speaker 04

  It's gonna happen.

• 34:50Speaker 02

  Wow.

• 34:52Speaker 04

  One of them has faked their death.

• 34:53Speaker 02

  If you were to pick which one it's more likely to be?

• 34:56Speaker 04

  I'd probably say my mum. My mum used to lie, man.

• 34:59Speaker 02

  Is that where you got it from?

• 35:00Speaker 04

  Yeah, I think it's my mum, but she's, she's hid for a long time. But I'm gonna catch her. Elizabeth Flynn.

• 35:08Speaker 02

  And I'm so sorry to ask this, but if, if, if your dad was gonna be on one of the underground lines, which would it be?

• 35:16Speaker 02

  Because honestly, you say, you say, you say that your mum was gonna be on the Elizabeth line, just tells me everything I need to know about what your mum was like.

• 35:22Speaker 04

  I reckon my dad would be like a Thames link or something.

• 35:30Speaker 02

  So as part of our, as a part of our psychological examination, we like to do a few psychological exercises, specs. We've been exploring your relationship with rules. We've established, I think, that your instinct isn't always to follow them. We put together a little test, I just wanna see these common rules, what you make of them, whether they should be rules, whether they should just get in the bin. So, standing on the right-hand side of an escalator.

• 35:53Speaker 04

  I think you should be able to stand anyway, like people going down escalators, we should go in a zigzag.

• 35:57Speaker 02

  That's chaos.

• 35:59Speaker 03

  But just like in terms of efficiency, it's good to have one side like blocked and one side clear, so people that are in a rush to get the tube, you can go, the other people that are chilling, you're chilling, so it's accommodating everyone.

• 36:12Speaker 04

  I mean, I couldn't, I couldn't give a damn who's in a rush or not. If I'm not in a rush, who cares? Why am I, why am I making way for someone else to rush? What are you rushing for?

• 36:21Speaker 02

  Next one, taking your shoes off when you go in someone's house.

• 36:24Speaker 04

  When you come to my house, your shoes have to be outside. I don't care if, even if it's raining.

• 36:27Speaker 02

  Hmm.

• 36:28Speaker 04

  If your shoes get wet, that's your business. But when you step in my house, you have to have socks on. No shoes in my house.

• 36:33Speaker 03

  Don't like bare feet.

• 36:35Speaker 04

  I don't mind bare feet.

• 36:36Speaker 03

  No.

• 36:36Speaker 02

  But the sock is the barrier between the foot and the shoe. I mean, it's the perfect invention for this sort of thing.

• 36:40Speaker 03

  What about you Jake, do you let people have socks?

• 36:41Speaker 02

  Shoes off, man.

• 36:42Speaker 03

  Shoes off in your house?

• 36:43Speaker 02

  You've been, yeah, it's my house, my home. You've been walking around in the piss and the shit and the rain and the heroin needles and the chicken wings and like, there's all sorts of shit on the floor.

• 36:53Speaker 03

  Yeah, but the heroin needle isn't still stuck in your shoe.

• 36:56Speaker 02

  You don't know what's stuck in your shoe, mate. You have no idea what's stuck in your shoe.

• 36:59Speaker 04

  It's the pollution of the heroin needle.

• 37:00Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's all sorts of stuff, mate.

• 37:01Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 37:02Speaker 03

  Okay, but then you're taking a gamble that the person you've invited around and you've insisted on them taking their shoe off, has got good foot hygiene.

• 37:10Speaker 02

  Joe, Joe, socks mate, ever heard of them? The sock is the barrier between the shoe and the foot and it always has been, always will. And I mean that.

• 37:18Speaker 04

  Well, I went to my boy's house the other day and he had his shoes on the, on the bed.

• 37:21Speaker 02

  Oh my gosh!

• 37:23Speaker 03

  You can't do that, nah.

• 37:24Speaker 04

  What? On the bed? Can't trust you with nothing, bro.

• 37:27Speaker 03

  I draw the line at that.

• 37:28Speaker 04

  That's somebody that will take your money.

• 37:30Speaker 02

  Sorry, more rules. Eating in bed?

• 37:32Speaker 04

  Never. Can't have crumbs in bed, no way. You're gonna, no, no, what? It's lazy.

• 37:37Speaker 03

  Okay, you can eat in bed.

• 37:38Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 37:39Speaker 03

  As long as there's no crumbs.

• 37:41Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 37:42Speaker 03

  I tell you what, if me and you're in bed together and I'm eating 12 bags of skips, I promise you and I can assure you, there won't be a single crumb in that bed.

• 37:51Speaker 04

  Do you know what? Skips is, skips is actually, you know why? Because skips dissolves in your mouth.

• 37:54Speaker 03

  Hmm.

• 37:55Speaker 04

  I don't mind skips, but you can't have.

• 37:57Speaker 03

  Quavers.

• 38:00Speaker 04

  What's its?

• 38:01Speaker 02

  Oh, what's its? That's chaos, isn't it?

• 38:02Speaker 04

  Doritos.

• 38:03Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 38:03Speaker 03

  Scampi fries.

• 38:05Speaker 04

  Scampi fries, you can have chipsticks.

• 38:07Speaker 03

  All the salt and vinegar chipsticks.

• 38:08Speaker 04

  Yeah, you can have that.

• 38:09Speaker 02

  Pretending to say that someone's baby is cute even though you know that it's ugly baby.

• 38:14Speaker 03

  Nah, I can't imagine. I reckon you say how it is.

• 38:17Speaker 02

  Or do you think you should just say how it is, your baby's ugly?

• 38:20Speaker 04

  I've got a take about babies. I think all white babies have got big heads.

• 38:24Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 38:25Speaker 04

  Do you agree?

• 38:25Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 38:26Speaker 04

  So I say that, all my white friends, I'm like, wow, your baby's head looks like a flipping.

• 38:29Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 38:29Speaker 04

  Lorry ball. And I think what happens is with other baby, other race babies, it's the hair that covers the size. Do you get it?

• 38:40Speaker 02

  Why babies don't get hair for a long time?

• 38:43Speaker 04

  They don't get hair for a long time, so their head just shows.

• 38:44Speaker 02

  A long time.

• 38:44Speaker 04

  It's just, I'm just seeing bare head, that's why I don't carry them. I don't carry them because I want my shoulders up, you know what I mean? I don't carry them, bro.

• 38:53Speaker 03

  I'm not going down with every baby's cute. Like, I would probably say to my friends that have babies, oh, he's a bit weird looking it.

• 39:03Speaker 04

  Yeah, of course.

• 39:04Speaker 03

  Because most babies are mingin'.

• 39:06Speaker 04

  I mean, KSI for example, I saw his baby picture and nothing's changed till now. He's one of the ugliest guys I know. So sometimes your baby face just tells your story. What KSI's nose is a baby? I thought Dettie was sick on his face.

• 39:27Speaker 03

  Seems like a somewhat unprovoked. Attack.

• 39:33Speaker 03

  But there's no rules, I guess.

• 39:37Speaker 03

  Jake mentioned earlier that he sees a lot of similarities in us.

• 39:40Speaker 04

  Mm hmm.

• 39:41Speaker 03

  And I felt myself, as in, I should say that quicker. I felt myself feeling the same, sitting here listening to you. Like, you really enjoy being, uh, the opposite guy. Quite openly awkward, um, saying whatever you want, saying stuff that is just doesn't fit the bill, that doesn't make sense, or randomly think that. And I love it, because I used to do it all the time. Um, but I think that I try and work out why I used to be like that. And over time, I was like, it's because I was too scared to actually dedicate myself

• 40:26Speaker 03

  to being good at being good, like trying to be good at, in the fear that if I went and tried to be good at it, I'd fail and it wouldn't work. And that'd be, whereas I could control the narrative if I went, I chose to be disruptive. I chose to make other people shit. So like, all jokes aside, I was like, I did that out of fear of not actually being able to do it. And there's part of me that goes, oh, I wish I maybe leaned into that a little bit more and tried a bit harder.

• 40:59Speaker 03

  But I then also sit there going, fuck, I did a lot of things my way and I really enjoyed it. It was great fun.

• 41:05Speaker 04

  I think that's, I think that's the key for me is, is the fun part. I'll give you an example. My friend had an all-white party the other day and I walked up in red, right? And everyone's looking at me like, but like, it's white. And I'm just like, do you know what? It doesn't matter if it's white or red. It doesn't matter.

• 41:20Speaker 03

  No.

• 41:22Speaker 04

  Everyone is wearing white because my boy said so and he wanted to have this white party, but it's not that deep. And for me, it's fun me going in red because it's more fun for me. And that's, that's my thing.

• 41:34Speaker 03

  Was there anything like,

• 41:39Speaker 03

  maybe I, I grew up in quite like a strict household where it was like, shouted out a lot, like, you don't do out of the norm. You, you're, you're seen but not heard sort of vibe. Like, is that the sort, I know you said, and I still can't work out, were you being serious? Your mum died when you were ten?

• 42:01Speaker 04

  My mum died when I was ten.

• 42:02Speaker 03

  And your dad died recently?

• 42:03Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 42:04Speaker 03

  A few years ago.

• 42:04Speaker 04

  A few years ago, yeah.

• 42:05Speaker 03

  Was it a strict upbringing that you then, then developed into, I'm always gonna push back against the grain or?

• 42:12Speaker 04

  No, I, no, I had, I was, I was quite spoilt. My mum had nine sisters. So they were like, oh, he's just lost his mum, let's just make him like live. So I was, there was, I, I wasn't like, obviously I had stock, so like culture's stock, so, but I was given a lot of freedom to do what I want kind of thing.

• 42:29Speaker 03

  Hmm.

• 42:30Speaker 04

  Which I feel like plays a big part in this. And also, I, there's a lot of things that's happened in my life that people will say is sad. And I've chose to kind of like, be like, you know, who cares? And that's why now I'm proper that I don't care.

• 42:45Speaker 03

  So when you sit there and like, I've had so much fun with you, fucking brilliant.

• 42:49Speaker 04

  Hmm.

• 42:49Speaker 03

  But when you sit there and you talk about your mum dying when you were ten and you make a joke, you're not making a joke of her dying.

• 42:55Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 42:55Speaker 03

  But you make a joke of it around it.

• 42:57Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 42:58Speaker 03

  Is that your way of coping with it?

• 43:02Speaker 04

  Hmm.

• 43:02Speaker 03

  Or, do you know, dealing with it? Or have you not dealt with that? Have you not processed it? Or have you processed it so you're in a position where you go, I can say what I want?

• 43:11Speaker 04

  I think, no, there's times where, I remember like Mother's Day and stuff, I used to be sad, like when I was younger. And then I was like, hold on, everyone I know that's lost someone is sad.

• 43:23Speaker 04

  This is learnt behaviour.

• 43:25Speaker 04

  If I came into a world where everyone was celebrating someone's loss, then I wouldn't feel sad. So I started to understand that everything that I'm doing is just a copy of what I'm seeing.

• 43:35Speaker 03

  Mm hmm.

• 43:35Speaker 04

  So I, I went with the opposite approach. So now it's like, like worst, bad, like sad things have happened to me, but I look, I, I look at it differently, you know?

• 43:46Speaker 03

  You keep mentioning, you've mentioned it a couple of times, learnt behaviour.

• 43:49Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 43:50Speaker 03

  Is there someone that in the world that you look up to, that you, you do enjoy learning behaviour from or respect? Do you know what I mean? Like, or do you not?

• 43:59Speaker 04

  My biggest idol growing up, Harry Enfield. That's, that's my, he is more important than my parents, even though they passed away early. Harry Enfield is my, that, I, I don't know what is about Harry Enfield, but Harry Enfield and Chums, I used to watch that show religiously.

• 44:17Speaker 03

  I cannot work out for the life of me.

• 44:20Speaker 04

  What, if I'm telling the truth?

• 44:22Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 44:22Speaker 04

  Everyone says that.

• 44:23Speaker 03

  And, and well played.

• 44:25Speaker 02

  The thing is, everyone likes Harry Enfield. I would say everyone likes Harry Enfield, but it's rare that someone's like, no, he's, my everything is Harry Enfield.

• 44:34Speaker 04

  He's a good.

• 44:36Speaker 03

  I just find it fascinating though, um, Specs Ferdinand, that I find it fascinating why you are happy for people to not know when you are joking or not joking, why you find it a, a useful tool to have people not quite know how to take you or what you say? Because I, I know, I know why I do it and I'm, I'm fascinated as to why you do it. Is it for the same reasons? Cause I'm, I'm scared that if I put my actual self out there and people are judging my actual self, then they're actually judging me.

• 45:21Speaker 03

  Whereas if I put a version or if I keep them guessing, or if I put this wall up of, they never know whether I'm being serious or not, then I'm always in control and I, I, I can decide whether I get hurt or not.

• 45:32Speaker 04

  I've given you the serious me with jokes, but I'm still giving you the serious me.

• 45:36Speaker 03

  Hmm.

• 45:37Speaker 04

  Everything that I've said to you today is one hundred percent true. But what I like is the fact that I'm being truthful to you and you still think, hold on, something's not right. That's the part I like. But I'm honestly, I'm being truthful. So basically my favourite song of all time is Sophie Ellis-Bextor, More Than a Dance Floor. Do you think I'm joking?

• 45:55Speaker 02

  No, I believe that.

• 45:57Speaker 03

  Why is it?

• 45:59Speaker 04

  I couldn't tell you why, but every time I hear that song, I could be anywhere. I'm on the dance floor and I'm dancing from start to finish and the DJ has to play it to the end. And I told her, and we follow each other, we're friends. When I tell people, people think, people think I'm joking.

• 46:14Speaker 03

  I'm not denying like what you've said is, is, is truthful. I accept that what you've said, I've been myself to you the whole time.

• 46:21Speaker 04

  Hmm.

• 46:22Speaker 03

  The bit I'm fascinated by is why you enjoy and occasionally play up to

• 46:27Speaker 04

  Hmm.

• 46:27Speaker 03

  the part that makes people go, I don't know how to make, take you seriously. Cause you said, that's the bit I like.

• 46:32Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 46:32Speaker 03

  Cause even though I've been truthful to you, I've told you the entire truth.

• 46:35Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 46:36Speaker 03

  But I still enjoy the fact that I, cause you've controlled that, you've controlled that, you've, you've made that impression by going, oh, but I like that, you don't know how to take me.

• 46:45Speaker 04

  Yeah, I like that.

• 46:45Speaker 03

  Why? Why do you like?

• 46:47Speaker 04

  Because I'm telling you the truth and you don't believe it.

• 46:49Speaker 02

  What's confused me though Specs, is that a quick Google says Specs Gonzalez has publicly stated his favourite song is Espresso by Smirri Carpenter.

• 47:01Speaker 02

  We've been talking a lot about rules today and this is where we're gonna put it to the test.

• 47:05Speaker 04

  There's no rules, man.

• 47:06Speaker 02

  You've, you've both heard of the game Simon says, right? The ultimate rules game.

• 47:09Speaker 04

  Yep.

• 47:09Speaker 02

  Today, we're gonna be taking part in this classic game, but you're gonna be against each other, taking it in turns to give each other rules, give each other instructions. Joe, if you say Simon says clap your hands, Specs, you've got to clap your hands, but you're gonna up the ante until we get to a point where someone says, I can't handle those rules. Um, Joe, would you like to take it away?

• 47:29Speaker 03

  So I've got to say Simon says before I say it.

• 47:31Speaker 02

  Simon says, any rule you want, and then you've got to see if Specs has the bottle to carry that rule out.

• 47:40Speaker 03

  Simon says, take your glasses off.

• 47:44Speaker 02

  Okay, starting small. He's done, for the audio listener, he took his glasses off. Specs, you're on.

• 47:48Speaker 04

  Simon says, rub your tummy and pat your head.

• 47:53Speaker 02

  Okay. For the audio listener, Joe is rubbing his tummy. At the same time, please, Joe.

• 47:58Speaker 04

  It's at the same time, Joe.

• 47:59Speaker 03

  What do you mean?

• 48:00Speaker 04

  You have to work it out.

• 48:01Speaker 03

  Both hands?

• 48:02Speaker 02

  Come on, Joe, this is, no, no.

• 48:04Speaker 04

  No, no, no, Joe.

• 48:07Speaker 02

  This is sort of.

• 48:07Speaker 04

  Same time, yeah.

• 48:08Speaker 02

  Stage one level stuff here.

• 48:09Speaker 04

  Oh, he can't do it.

• 48:10Speaker 03

  Yeah, I am.

• 48:11Speaker 04

  Rub your tummy. So, he can't do it, he can't do it.

• 48:15Speaker 02

  Can you actually not do it?

• 48:16Speaker 04

  Oh, he's doing it now, he's doing it.

• 48:17Speaker 02

  He's doing it now, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 48:18Speaker 04

  Interesting.

• 48:19Speaker 02

  Okay, Joe, you're back on. Your serve.

• 48:22Speaker 03

  Simon says, blow me a kiss.

• 48:25Speaker 02

  Beautiful, okay.

• 48:28Speaker 03

  Oh, you've got nice breath.

• 48:29Speaker 04

  Thank you, man. Uh, Simon says, kiss my forehead.

• 48:32Speaker 02

  What? There we go. Now we're in.

• 48:38Speaker 03

  Okay Joe, where are we going now?

• 48:42Speaker 03

  Simon says, "Tell me what you really think about Jake."

• 48:48Speaker 04

  Then Jake is a genuine, good-looking man that I'm gonna follow on Facebook tonight.

• 48:54Speaker 03

  Not any other social media platforms, just Facebook?

• 48:56Speaker 02

  It'd be great if I could get the Instagram follow.

• 48:57Speaker 04

  Facebook, I think...

• 48:58Speaker 03

  He's a Facebook friend?

• 48:59Speaker 04

  I can tell.

• 48:59Speaker 02

  Instagram would be great if you can, but yeah.

• 49:01Speaker 04

  Instagram?

• 49:02Speaker 03

  Facebook.

• 49:02Speaker 04

  Alright, Facebook, then it's actually Facebook and Instagram because it's connected now.

• 49:05Speaker 02

  Yeah, all my space.

• 49:07Speaker 03

  Meta.

• 49:11Speaker 04

  Simon says, "Tell me Johnny Wilkinson's star sign." Is that his name?

• 49:20Speaker 02

  Oh yeah. This is interesting because if you get this wrong, you've lost, I suppose. It's a different take on it, isn't it?

• 49:27Speaker 03

  I got him!

• 49:28Speaker 02

  Turn it into a quiz.

• 49:32Speaker 04

  Alright.

• 49:32Speaker 03

  He's a Capricorn.

• 49:34Speaker 04

  And Simon says you can be wrong.

• 49:36Speaker 02

  He is a...

• 49:38Speaker 04

  If you get this, this is mental.

• 49:41Speaker 02

  Gemini.

• 49:42Speaker 04

  Ahhh, but I said you can get it wrong. I said Simon says you can get it wrong.

• 49:46Speaker 03

  Simon says get your left nut out.

• 49:50Speaker 04

  Do you know what's mad? Do you know what I just realised as well?

• 49:52Speaker 02

  What?

• 49:52Speaker 04

  Because remember there's no rules?

• 49:53Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 49:53Speaker 04

  I'm wearing pants today.

• 49:56Speaker 02

  What do you mean, man?

• 49:58Speaker 03

  She means you don't usually wear pants?

• 50:00Speaker 02

  No.

• 50:03Speaker 03

  But Simon says you don't need to get your left nut out.

• 50:05Speaker 02

  And that's the game over, everybody! That is the game over! That is the game over!

• 50:11Speaker 04

  I'm wearing pants.

• 50:12Speaker 03

  Yeah, no, I got the pants.

• 50:12Speaker 04

  No, I'm wearing pants.

• 50:13Speaker 03

  No, I know the pants.

• 50:14Speaker 04

  I'm wearing pants.

• 50:15Speaker 03

  No, no, I know, I know. No, Simon says you didn't have to get your left nut out.

• 50:20Speaker 02

  Simon says put the left nut away!

• 50:28Speaker 03

  That is, unfortunately, for me, and I think Jake,

• 50:34Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah.

• 50:34Speaker 03

  the end of our session today.

• 50:36Speaker 04

  Thank you, man.

• 50:37Speaker 03

  How have you found it?

• 50:38Speaker 04

  I love, I love this. This is, this is amazing. I've watched it. So, yeah, man, this is my kind of podcast.

• 50:45Speaker 03

  Will you be taking any lessons away from today? Have we been able to impart any sort of, like, structure and rules or, like, takeaways at all?

• 50:59Speaker 04

  In terms of rules, I think I'm still gonna stick with the no rules.

• 51:02Speaker 02

  I think you should as well.

• 51:03Speaker 03

  I mean, it's sort of your brand, isn't it?

• 51:04Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 51:04Speaker 03

  It'd be quite weird if you didn't do the, like, 360 and...

• 51:08Speaker 04

  But I think I'm gonna get you two to come on my podcast and I think I've got to get you lot back.

• 51:14Speaker 03

  Get us back? We haven't, there's been... That implies that we've stitched you up somehow or we've done something to you?

• 51:21Speaker 04

  I mean, you nearly broke the no rules code. So...

• 51:26Speaker 03

  The left nut?

• 51:27Speaker 04

  No, no, I would have broke my left nut, of course. It was the, um...

• 51:34Speaker 04

  The rules and preference part.

• 51:36Speaker 02

  Yeah, that was hairy territory for you there because I could see you were like, "Hang on a minute, my whole sort of worldview's collapsing."

• 51:42Speaker 03

  Oh, the baked beans and the toast?

• 51:44Speaker 02

  Yeah, because that was a rule, is it a preference?

• 51:46Speaker 03

  That was interesting.

• 51:47Speaker 04

  Get you lot back, man.

• 51:51Speaker 03

  Before you go, we always give our client a badge before they leave.

• 51:56Speaker 04

  Oh, thank you, man.

• 51:57Speaker 03

  Jake, you know, you're the master behind the badge inspiration. What are we going for?

• 52:02Speaker 02

  Yep, we have gone with "Respects the Rules."

• 52:07Speaker 03

  Oh, good. Good, that is good. Really, you're really pleased with that, aren't you?

• 52:14Speaker 04

  I'm wearing that all day, man.

• 52:15Speaker 02

  That's for you, Specs.

• 52:16Speaker 04

  Thank you, man.

• 52:17Speaker 02

  Pleasure to meet you.

• 52:18Speaker 04

  Pleasure to meet you too, bro.

• 52:19Speaker 03

  We've, we've restocked these, haven't we?

• 52:23Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 52:23Speaker 03

  Yeah, you also get a lollipop as well, eh?

• 52:25Speaker 04

  Thank you, man.

• 52:26Speaker 03

  Usually I say to all the clients, "Bugger off then, thank you so much," and we do a big round of applause and a shout.

• 52:34Speaker 03

  I've really, really enjoyed you.

• 52:36Speaker 04

  Thank you.

• 52:37Speaker 03

  I think you're brilliant.

• 52:38Speaker 04

  Thank you very much.

• 52:38Speaker 03

  The way I haven't really been able to, like, work out how it works, but there was a lot of things that resonated with me.

• 52:48Speaker 04

  Appreciate it, man.

• 52:49Speaker 03

  So, thank you so much.

• 52:50Speaker 04

  Thank you, man.

• 52:51Speaker 03

  Keep doing you, because you will anyway.

• 52:54Speaker 04

  There's no rules.

• 52:54Speaker 03

  Because you just don't give a fuck. Specs Gonzalez, everybody!

• 52:59Speaker 04

  Thank you, Joe, thank you, Jake, man.

• 53:00Speaker 03

  Please leave immediately, if not sooner. Janet, we'll see you out. Yeah, yeah, take your shoes off.

• 53:06Speaker 04

  Sorry, man.

• 53:08Speaker 03

  Alright, now, okay, it was quite a short clap now and you made it weird. Specs Gonzalez, everybody!

• 53:14Speaker 02

  Yeah!

• 53:16Speaker 03

  Great work! If you want to join the doctor's waiting list, then please subscribe to our YouTube channel and follow us on Instagram, @willseeyounowshow. Remember, I am not a real doctor, obviously. And if you need any professional help, you'll find a link to great support services on our Instagram. I have, of course, been Joe Marler. You've been?

• 53:39Speaker 02

  Jake.

• 53:40Speaker 03

  Just the first name?

• 53:41Speaker 02

  Yeah, for now. Jake, I've been Jake Barbadge.

• 53:44Speaker 03

  Okay, that was quite quick from "for now" to...

• 53:46Speaker 02

  I just realised I had an opportunity and I thought, "Let's grab it." You don't get that up very often.

• 53:50Speaker 03

  And this has been Joe Marler, we'll see you now, and we'll see you next time. Bye-bye!