Nish Kumar Reveals Why He Nearly Quit Comedy

Nish Kumar has spent his career getting angry about everything that’s wrong with the world. Joe thinks he has the solution: stop caring. Nish enters the office to discuss his celebrity nemeses, becoming the face of Britain’s culture wars, receiving death threats and the moments that made him consider quitting comedy altogether. Plus, Joe attempts politics, Nish predicts the future and they assemble the kind of Government Britain really needs right now: a cabinet full of comedians. GET TICKETS TO THE LIVE TOUR HERE: https://www.livenation.co.uk/joe-marler-will-see-you-live-tickets-adp1647830 Featuring Joe Marler (@joemarler17) and Jake Bhardwaj (@jakebhardwajtv) Follow the show on Instagram: @willseeyounowshow Joe Marler Will See You Now is a Platform Media production. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

• 0:00Speaker 00

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• 1:24Speaker 03

  I think the main thing is that it looks softer.

• 1:27Speaker 04

  What?

• 1:28Speaker 03

  You know what? Don't you come into this office and pretend you don't know what? We obviously can't do any psychiatry today until we discuss what's going on. It looks softer, as well as obviously brighter.

• 1:39Speaker 04

  Well, it'll be moisturizing more.

• 1:40Speaker 03

  Yeah. For the audio listener...

• 1:42Speaker 04

  You're talking about my skin, aren't you?

• 1:43Speaker 03

  We're talking about his hair. For the audio listener, Joe has turned up today with the same signature mohawk, but it's bright pink.

• 1:53Speaker 04

  It's not bright pink, it's faded pink.

• 1:55Speaker 03

  What's happened?

• 1:57Speaker 04

  What do you mean, "what's happened"?

• 1:58Speaker 03

  Don't you ask me what I mean "what's happened." You've turned up with pink hair and you're saying, "Oh, I'm peculiar for asking what's happened." It's a natural thing for me to ask what's happened. It's very, very, very, very bright.

• 2:13Speaker 04

  Do many people ask you about your hair when you have a haircut?

• 2:17Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 2:18Speaker 04

  Do they? And do they ask it...

• 2:20Speaker 03

  Can I just say...

• 2:21Speaker 04

  No, you can't. Do they ask it as aggressively and clearly angled as you just asked your question?

• 2:29Speaker 03

  No, they don't. I'll tell you what they do.

• 2:31Speaker 04

  What's happened? What's happened to your hair? What's happened to it, Jake? Jake, oh my god, you went to the barber's and you had a haircut. Why? Why? Why? What? Why?

• 2:40Speaker 03

  I yield. Hands up, I yield. I shouldn't have come in with that energy. Do you know what most people do? If you're a man in this country, most times you'll go to work, you've had a haircut and all you'll get is haircut. It'll be that. Oh, haircut. Haircut. So, but the thing is, yours is so dramatically different, I just didn't know, I didn't know how to, I didn't know how to deviate from that standard line of haircut. So instead, I was like, "What's happened?" But I shouldn't have said that. First of all, it looks lovely. I did say it looks softer. Could you maybe, if you wanted to, talk to us about your hair being bright pink?

• 3:18Speaker 04

  Attention-seeking narcissism.

• 3:20Speaker 03

  No, this isn't about me. What I want to know is, why have you got your hair bright pink?

• 3:25Speaker 04

  I was in the, well, I did it, I had to dye it, I had to bleach it...

• 3:31Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 3:32Speaker 04

  ...in order to dye it red, in order to play a character in a new program that I was part of.

• 3:40Speaker 03

  Which is?

• 3:43Speaker 03

  The Gladiators! Oh, so this is part of Gladiators?

• 3:47Speaker 04

  So then, but I also realized that I had to semi-dye it because I wanted it to wash out, because I then did want to draw more attention to myself that I already do, even though secretly I do. But my kids don't want more attention, so more people don't stop me, so...

• 4:03Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 4:04Speaker 04

  I did semi-permanent, rinsed it out, it went sort of peach color. And then this morning in the shower before coming into the office today, I saw a bottle of pink semi-permanent hair dye. It just caught my eye, washing my pits, and then I was like, "I'm gonna, I'm gonna try a bit of that."

• 4:25Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 4:26Speaker 04

  Just has my, how my mind works.

• 4:30Speaker 04

  And put it in there for like 10 minutes, washed it out, and this is what happened.

• 4:33Speaker 03

  You got that?

• 4:34Speaker 04

  And then after I got out of the shower and dried it, I went, "Wish I hadn't done that."

• 4:40Speaker 03

  It's funny, I had a semi-permanent in the shower this morning as well.

• 4:47Speaker 03

  Right! Joe, you've got so much going on, man. You've got your hair, it also turns out you're an author.

• 4:56Speaker 03

  What the fuck's going on?

• 4:58Speaker 04

  The surprise in your voice that I'm an author.

• 5:01Speaker 03

  Well, I mean, how many episodes are we in now? I've sort of, I've come to terms with the fact you can read, but I didn't know you could write as well. Fucking hell! What is going on? Next thing you know, you're doing arithmetic as well!

• 5:13Speaker 04

  Well, second book, but don't worry about it.

• 5:14Speaker 03

  Second, I know, we know, I know about your first book, because you remember, my mum got yours out in the library.

• 5:19Speaker 04

  And my book.

• 5:20Speaker 03

  Oooh!

• 5:23Speaker 04

  Someone could be one of the leads, you're a pervert.

• 5:26Speaker 03

  Mate, your second book!

• 5:27Speaker 04

  Second book, yeah, thanks for bringing that up.

• 5:29Speaker 03

  Second book, so the first book was Loose Head?

• 5:31Speaker 04

  Loose Head is more of a biography, or well, an autobiography.

• 5:35Speaker 03

  So what's book two?

• 5:36Speaker 04

  Not that. It's not like, ah, part two of what happened in my life at the end of that one to this one.

• 5:43Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 5:43Speaker 04

  I was like, "No one's interested in that."

• 5:45Speaker 03

  Oh, that's funny, isn't it? The moment Jake enters the frame, "I don't think I need to write about my life anymore." How interesting, typical. So what's book two about? Book, I mean, I'm gonna reveal the title, can I reveal the title?

• 5:56Speaker 04

  Yeah, go on then.

• 5:56Speaker 03

  Title reveal. Joe Marler versus the world!

• 6:03Speaker 04

  There was a very delayed response.

• 6:05Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm very, very impressed you've written another book. What's it about?

• 6:10Speaker 04

  It's about me and my take on different things in the world, like, we've got a mix of evolution...

• 6:23Speaker 03

  Oh my god.

• 6:24Speaker 04

  ...space...

• 6:25Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 6:26Speaker 04

  Sex, love, pain, pleasure, depression, food, fashion, you name it. Put the subject in there, I give you my take on that subject.

• 6:41Speaker 03

  So you've basically bottled all of the wild array of stuff we've talked about on the podcast and put it into a book so people can digest it whenever they want?

• 6:50Speaker 04

  I think you should sell it more than me. Can I take that line?

• 6:54Speaker 03

  Yeah, well, you can have it if you want, because that's what it feels like to me.

• 6:56Speaker 04

  If you wrote a book, what would your book be about?

• 7:00Speaker 03

  Oh, that's a really nice question, that. I'd like to write a recipe book one day. I think that I've been taught a lot of interesting recipes from people who are very close to me in my life, and I think it's a, it'd be a nice way of documenting those relationships via food. I've just come up with that now.

• 7:16Speaker 04

  What sort of cuisines? Is there a specific cuisine?

• 7:19Speaker 03

  Anything, anything. I mean, in the early part of the book, I imagine there'll be a lot of Indian cuisine, learning recipes from relatives, but then as I get older and I've met different people along my, along life who've taught me different recipes, there'll be all sorts of cuisines that come into it, you know? Yeah, that's quite a good idea, isn't it? A biography through food. Is that genuinely, is that really, have I just come up with a very good idea?

• 7:40Speaker 04

  It's a really good idea.

• 7:41Speaker 03

  When's your book out?

• 7:44Speaker 04

  The day after I cook you bolognese.

• 7:47Speaker 03

  Ah.

• 7:48Speaker 04

  So I'm gonna cook you spag bol on the 23rd of September.

• 7:51Speaker 03

  And then the book's gonna be out on the...

• 7:52Speaker 04

  And the book will be out on the 24th of September. Signed copies? Christ, it took me fucking ages.

• 7:59Speaker 03

  Seriously, you've got signed copies?

• 8:00Speaker 04

  Oh my god, it took me so long, mate.

• 8:02Speaker 03

  Where can you get the signed copies from?

• 8:04Speaker 04

  Waterstones and other indies.

• 8:07Speaker 03

  Let's get a round of applause for Joe for writing a bloody book.

• 8:09Speaker 04

  Thanks.

• 8:10Speaker 03

  My god. Get it now! Well, no, get it on 24th of September.

• 8:14Speaker 04

  You can preorder it.

• 8:15Speaker 03

  Oh, lovely stuff. Preorder it.

• 8:17Speaker 04

  You can preorder the hardback, the softback, the flappy back and the audiobook. The audiobook is...

• 8:24Speaker 03

  Have you read the audiobook? You'll read the audiobook?

• 8:26Speaker 04

  Read by me.

• 8:27Speaker 03

  Now that is, that's worth going for, surely?

• 8:30Speaker 04

  Yeah. There's been several requests that we keep the unedited version of the audiobook read out, out there, but...

• 8:40Speaker 03

  You have to buy to find out.

• 8:43Speaker 04

  Well played, Jake.

• 8:44Speaker 03

  Where can people find this stuff?

• 8:46Speaker 04

  Go on my Instagram, please.

• 8:49Speaker 03

  Joe Marler. Joe Marler.

• 8:51Speaker 04

  Well, it's actually joemarla17.

• 8:52Speaker 03

  There you go.

• 8:56Speaker 04

  Right, enough about me, more importantly, what about us?

• 8:59Speaker 03

  So your book is called Joe Marler vs. The World. We have a guest who's always taken on the world. I'm excited for you to put the world to rights, actually.

• 9:08Speaker 04

  Good link.

• 9:08Speaker 03

  Mmm.

• 9:09Speaker 04

  Good link.

• 9:10Speaker 03

  This is someone who's been constantly taking on inequality, discrimination, political injustice for many, many, many years, but doing it in a very funny way. Yeah? Have you met him before?

• 9:19Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 9:20Speaker 03

  You have met him before?

• 9:20Speaker 04

  Yeah, he commentated when I became a wrestler.

• 9:23Speaker 03

  Oh, really?

• 9:24Speaker 04

  Yeah, he was commentating on the side of the stage whilst I whacked Acast around the head with a tray.

• 9:29Speaker 03

  Another clue there. He's also the co-host of Pod Save the UK, formerly the host of the iconic Mass Report. He's a presenter, a satirist, he's also one of the nation's favourite comedians. Who is it? It's 3, 2, 1.

• 9:44Speaker 04

  Nish Kumar!

• 9:46Speaker 03

  Nish is quite political. Are you... how are you feeling about that?

• 9:50Speaker 04

  I would say it is an area that I...

• 9:57Speaker 04

  That I feel like I could hold my own on.

• 10:02Speaker 03

  For the audio listener, you just sort of did a Robert De Niro.

• 10:06Speaker 03

  The mouth went sort of down, didn't it?

• 10:08Speaker 04

  I feel like I could...

• 10:09Speaker 03

  What are you gonna do? It's fine.

• 10:12Speaker 04

  Ask me a politics question. Go.

• 10:15Speaker 03

  Do you think that under Burnham Labour are gonna shift a bit further towards the left than they were under Starmer?

• 10:23Speaker 04

  All I wanna do is go, "To the left, to the left, everything I own in the box to the left."

• 10:28Speaker 03

  It's not your strong suit, and that's fine. That's fine. But the great thing about Nish is that I don't think he's gonna bang on about politics the whole time.

• 10:35Speaker 04

  I am a little bit nervous that he will.

• 10:37Speaker 03

  He's having a good time. No, he won't.

• 10:38Speaker 04

  And I won't be able to keep up.

• 10:39Speaker 03

  You will be able to keep up. You'll be able to keep up.

• 10:42Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 10:42Speaker 03

  Let's find out what he's doing with Janet right now.

• 10:46Speaker 04

  Hi Janet. Yes, please could you send in Mr. Nish Kumar? Why do you sound weird?

• 10:54Speaker 04

  Okay, just send him in, okay. Thank you.

• 10:57Speaker 04

  You ready?

• 10:58Speaker 03

  I'm ready.

• 10:58Speaker 04

  Let's do this.

• 11:01Speaker 04

  Nish Kumar, everybody!

• 11:04Speaker 03

  Big up yourself.

• 11:07Speaker 04

  Big up yourself?

• 11:08Speaker 03

  I don't know why I said it, but I liked it. I was excited.

• 11:11Speaker 04

  That's the first guest we've...

• 11:12Speaker 03

  I was excited to see Nish Kumar in it.

• 11:14Speaker 04

  What have you had and you've gone with a big up yourself?

• 11:15Speaker 05

  Yeah. I am thrilled to be welcomed with a big up yourself.

• 11:19Speaker 04

  Big up yourself, Nish Kumar.

• 11:21Speaker 05

  Janet just tried to sell me meth.

• 11:23Speaker 03

  Oh!

• 11:24Speaker 05

  And I don't know how I feel about that.

• 11:27Speaker 04

  I told her she needs to pack this in.

• 11:29Speaker 03

  It's less about her addiction and more about using this office as a place for other business, which I just don't think... that's annoying.

• 11:34Speaker 05

  I always said, "By all means, take your meth", but I think it's the vending that's the legal issue.

• 11:38Speaker 03

  Exactly. It's... we're paying for the rent of this place and she's using that to make money. I don't like it at all.

• 11:43Speaker 04

  I don't have an issue with her actually doing that.

• 11:46Speaker 03

  Selling meth?

• 11:47Speaker 04

  Yes, but I have an issue with the cut that she's negotiated.

• 11:53Speaker 05

  Right, right, right. What sort of split are you on meth-wise?

• 11:55Speaker 04

  Well...

• 11:56Speaker 03

  Meth-wise, I think it's 80/20, isn't it, in favour of her?

• 11:59Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 12:00Speaker 03

  The massage business, I still don't know what that is.

• 12:06Speaker 05

  You can't be selling meth out of a massage parlour. That's the oldest rule of business.

• 12:12Speaker 04

  Well, that is why we've put up a shop front of a fake psychiatry office.

• 12:18Speaker 03

  You can't be selling meth out of a massage, out of a fake psychiatry business.

• 12:24Speaker 04

  Uh, Nish, how are you?

• 12:25Speaker 05

  Good. Very pleased to be here, very pleased to see you.

• 12:28Speaker 04

  That sounds really genuine.

• 12:29Speaker 05

  Yeah, it is genuine.

• 12:30Speaker 04

  Oh, thank you.

• 12:31Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 12:31Speaker 04

  For making it sound so genuine.

• 12:32Speaker 05

  It is genuine, and you know, it's fantastic to be in a fake psychiatrist's office that may or may not be a front for the massage, which may in turn be a front for a meth lab.

• 12:42Speaker 04

  So, what we usually do is begin with an intake questionnaire. Full name?

• 12:47Speaker 05

  Nishant Kumar.

• 12:49Speaker 04

  Nishant?

• 12:49Speaker 05

  Mm.

• 12:50Speaker 04

  Why did you shorten it?

• 12:51Speaker 05

  Uh, because the only person who calls me... the correct pronunciation of my name is Nishant, and the only people who call me Nishant are my parents when they're in a bad mood.

• 12:59Speaker 04

  And Tim Key. Why?

• 13:03Speaker 05

  I have absolutely no idea.

• 13:04Speaker 04

  That's a complete power trip from him.

• 13:05Speaker 05

  I don't know, he just found out what my full name was, and now he only calls me Nishant Kumar.

• 13:11Speaker 05

  It's quite cumbersome when we're on the same football team together.

• 13:13Speaker 04

  Right, okay. Star sign?

• 13:16Speaker 05

  Oh, a Virgo.

• 13:18Speaker 04

  Why?

• 13:21Speaker 05

  Are you asking me why I'm a Virgo or why I was confused? Because I am often confused, because I can never fully remember. But I'm... my birthday's in August, so I'm right on the cusp of Leo and Virgo, I think.

• 13:33Speaker 03

  And do you feel that you're analytical, hardworking, reliable, practical and kind?

• 13:36Speaker 05

  Uh, no, and that's one of the reasons I think the whole thing might be a load of shit.

• 13:39Speaker 03

  Don't tell him that, he loves it.

• 13:42Speaker 04

  Occupation?

• 13:43Speaker 05

  Stand-up comedian.

• 13:44Speaker 04

  Nice.

• 13:45Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 13:45Speaker 03

  Most comedians who come on will go, "Well, I guess, I guess I'm a comedian, I don't know."

• 13:51Speaker 04

  Out of fear of like, "Oh, I have to be funny if I say I'm a stand-up comedian."

• 13:55Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 13:56Speaker 05

  I never said I was good.

• 14:00Speaker 05

  What's the issue here?

• 14:01Speaker 04

  How many hours' sleep did you get last night?

• 14:03Speaker 05

  Last night I got... I saw... I managed to do, I'd say, an interrupted seven.

• 14:10Speaker 04

  What interrupted it?

• 14:11Speaker 05

  My partner got up early this morning to go to... she's also a stand-up comedian, and she had to get up to get on a train to Manchester to go and do a gig, so...

• 14:21Speaker 04

  On a Sunday?

• 14:21Speaker 05

  On a Sunday, yeah.

• 14:23Speaker 04

  Wow.

• 14:23Speaker 05

  I don't know why you're surprised. We're doing a vodcast in a fake psychiatrist's office on a Sunday.

• 14:28Speaker 03

  This is being filmed on a Sunday.

• 14:29Speaker 05

  We're all self-employed, Joe.

• 14:31Speaker 04

  Is seven hours like your usual?

• 14:33Speaker 05

  No, it's better than usual, way better than usual.

• 14:35Speaker 04

  What?

• 14:35Speaker 03

  But you're not a sleeper?

• 14:36Speaker 04

  Why don't you sleep?

• 14:37Speaker 05

  I don't know why. I've always had quite bad interrupted sleep since I was a kid, and I think it used to be that I had a problem where I couldn't get to sleep. Now I can get to sleep, but I sometimes find myself getting up two hours before I need to for no reason.

• 14:50Speaker 04

  And then not getting back off?

• 14:51Speaker 05

  And then, yeah. Whereas this morning, I managed to get up, say goodbye to my partner before she left the house, and then I went back to sleep for another two hours. Good stuff.

• 15:03Speaker 04

  And that was with no help of meth or anything?

• 15:05Speaker 05

  No meth!

• 15:05Speaker 04

  Okay, fine.

• 15:06Speaker 03

  It's the last thing you want to get to sleep.

• 15:07Speaker 05

  Yeah, exactly. It's the literal opposite of what you want.

• 15:09Speaker 04

  Yeah, I know that.

• 15:10Speaker 05

  You shouldn't be taking meth if you don't know that, Joe.

• 15:12Speaker 04

  No, I don't know that.

• 15:14Speaker 03

  If you've got any... if you're having any sleeping issues, I would look at the meth first.

• 15:18Speaker 05

  Please.

• 15:18Speaker 03

  That's the first thing to cut out your routine.

• 15:20Speaker 05

  If you take nothing else away from this, don't do meth to help you sleep. And that message is endorsed by the British Broadcasting Corporation.

• 15:27Speaker 03

  I'm even happy to lose a brand deal by saying it, I really am.

• 15:31Speaker 04

  Uh, what's the last thing that got you riled up?

• 15:34Speaker 05

  Ooh, what is the last thing that got me riled up? There were a group of balaclava-clad vigilantes who turned up at Dover yesterday, as we record on the Saturday. And I think they were there as some sort of protest against immigration and asylum seekers. And my question is, fellas, it's a Saturday. Don't you have anything better to do with your time than be part of a mask-clad group of vigilantes that's gone down to Dover? And also, what are you doing in Dover, just stopping people who've gone on a booze run? It does not make any sense. Anyway, that was probably the last thing that got me riled up.

• 16:09Speaker 04

  Uh, what's the smallest hill you're prepared to die on?

• 16:14Speaker 05

  I'll never give up my physical media. I suppose that's the smallest hill I'm prepared to die on. I've still... I've got loads of records, books and Blu-rays and DVDs.

• 16:25Speaker 04

  Floppy discs?

• 16:26Speaker 05

  No floppy discs.

• 16:27Speaker 04

  No floppy discs.

• 16:27Speaker 03

  VHS?

• 16:29Speaker 05

  I actually do own a couple of VHSs that I've held on to since the 1990s, but I still buy and consume a lot of physical media, and I refuse to give that up regardless of how much it's a constant drain on the space in our house.

• 16:46Speaker 04

  Why? Why have you got such a thing like, "Mate, I need this physical CD rather than I'll just go on Spotify"?

• 16:53Speaker 05

  Because there's a couple of reasons. With some films, it's now becoming impossible to access them on digital platforms. So there's some movies, I think because there's a kind of dispute over who owns the rights, especially independent movies where it's not necessarily been commissioned by a studio. It might have been made by an independent financer and then distributed by a studio. There's movies that fall through the cracks, so if you don't have them on DVD or Blu-ray, you... they might just disappear out of your ability to watch them at all. Also, I think we have to get back into a culture of paying for our music, because the only way you can make a living from music is by having independent wealth. So we've got to start paying for our albums again.

• 17:36Speaker 04

  Well, since you put it like that, I'm gonna go out and buy Paul Simon's Greatest Hits, the physical version.

• 17:42Speaker 05

  He needs it.

• 17:43Speaker 03

  He's fine. I think he's fine.

• 17:46Speaker 03

  He's so fine.

• 17:47Speaker 04

  If there's one musician... I feel bad just listening to...

• 17:49Speaker 03

  Also, I love you, man.

• 17:50Speaker 04

  I feel bad listening to Paul Simon.

• 17:51Speaker 03

  Not only that, I'll buy his greatest hits as well.

• 17:53Speaker 05

  Not even Grace, man?

• 17:54Speaker 04

  Not even Grace, man? There's a couple of the others.

• 17:59Speaker 03

  I'll be buying Best of the Beatles, uh, Last of Us.

• 18:04Speaker 04

  Celebrity nemesis.

• 18:09Speaker 05

  The problem with that is that... I guess you could have a funny answer, but I do have real celebrity nemesis.

• 18:15Speaker 04

  Really?

• 18:16Speaker 01

  No.

• 18:17Speaker 05

  Course I do, yeah. Because I've been, you know.

• 18:19Speaker 04

  We're not looking for fun.

• 18:21Speaker 05

  You want the real answer?

• 18:22Speaker 04

  We're looking for truth.

• 18:25Speaker 03

  Is your celebrity nemesis someone you can disclose?

• 18:28Speaker 05

  Yeah, I mean, it's sort of a matter of public record.

• 18:31Speaker 04

  Oh.

• 18:31Speaker 05

  Only because I've slagged them off on stage.

• 18:35Speaker 04

  Wow.

• 18:36Speaker 05

  Jimmy Carr, Ricky Gervais.

• 18:38Speaker 03

  Mmm.

• 18:38Speaker 05

  I guess, I don't think either of them is particularly pleased with me, in general.

• 18:42Speaker 04

  Why, why do you dislike them? Why are they your celebrity nemesis?

• 18:47Speaker 05

  I mean, I don't, I don't know if nemesis is the right word. I just have had some strong opinions about some of their onstage and offstage antics.

• 18:57Speaker 03

  Did you not like Ally Cats?

• 18:59Speaker 05

  I haven't watched Ally Cats because I don't hate myself enough. I'm sorry, there's no amount of money in the world that someone could offer me that would make me watch Ally Cats.

• 19:08Speaker 04

  You're sure I have?

• 19:08Speaker 05

  Genuinely, genuinely. If somebody drove, maybe 10 million quid. If you gave me 10 million quid, I would watch one episode of Ally Cats.

• 19:21Speaker 05

  To quote, to quote Mr. Gervais himself, "Life's too short."

• 19:27Speaker 04

  But what, for me, it's a bit like when I say to my kids, "Why aren't you eating that broccoli?"

• 19:34Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 19:34Speaker 04

  And they go, "I don't like the broccoli."

• 19:36Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 19:36Speaker 04

  And I go, "How do you know you don't like the broccoli?" They're like, "Oh, it tastes disgusting." And I go, "I know full well you haven't tasted that broccoli."

• 19:43Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 19:43Speaker 04

  So you don't know that that's disgusting, you assume it's disgusting? So you need to watch Ally Cats?

• 19:48Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 19:49Speaker 04

  To have an informed opinion.

• 19:51Speaker 05

  I'd say whilst I haven't eaten this broccoli, I have historically found some other examples of broccoli incredibly transphobic. And some of the other broccoli did a gig in Saudi Arabia.

• 20:03Speaker 04

  I think from a legal perspective, the use of broccoli works.

• 20:07Speaker 05

  I think the broccoli's covered. I found some of the broccoli, like, has sort of been hostile towards a vulnerable minority.

• 20:14Speaker 03

  That's one of the best, the all-time best broccoli metaphors ever. I don't think broccoli's ever been utilised like that, has it?

• 20:21Speaker 04

  For years, I've been waiting to use that, and I just knew it would work.

• 20:25Speaker 05

  This is the sort of essence of the genius of you as an interviewer, because it's not, Graham Norton should much more often say stuff like, "I knew that question would work."

• 20:35Speaker 05

  I, I absolutely knew I was good at this.

• 20:39Speaker 03

  That red chair was good, wasn't it?

• 20:41Speaker 05

  See that upside down?

• 20:47Speaker 04

  Nish, here's what I think.

• 20:49Speaker 05

  Here we go.

• 20:50Speaker 04

  There's a lot to delve into with you.

• 20:53Speaker 05

  Absolute.

• 20:53Speaker 04

  But there's also a lot that if we did delve into, I would be completely out of my depth with delving into it. Uh, Jake would be probably better at it than me.

• 21:05Speaker 03

  Is it Indian stuff or politics stuff?

• 21:08Speaker 03

  Just so I know which way this is going.

• 21:09Speaker 05

  I love when people just cut to the quick. What, what are we talking about here? Politics or Indian stuff?

• 21:15Speaker 03

  Is it Indian stuff or politics stuff?

• 21:16Speaker 04

  No, you're out of order. You're out of order. The amount of times you do that is wild.

• 21:23Speaker 03

  I just wanted to know.

• 21:24Speaker 04

  Nah, it's bullshit. You do it to me all the time.

• 21:27Speaker 03

  This is the first time we've had another Kumar in the building, I just wanted to know.

• 21:30Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 21:32Speaker 04

  Nish?

• 21:32Speaker 05

  Yes?

• 21:33Speaker 04

  Here's what I think I can help you with.

• 21:35Speaker 05

  Here we go.

• 21:36Speaker 04

  I think you care a little too much.

• 21:41Speaker 05

  I'd say that's true, yeah.

• 21:43Speaker 04

  You wanna, you're trying to change the world all the time, aren't you? You're trying to fight the good fight constantly. You've spent your career getting angry about everything that's wrong with the world.

• 21:56Speaker 05

  Correct.

• 21:56Speaker 04

  But you're one man.

• 21:57Speaker 05

  Correct. And crucially, wildly underqualified. Let's not, let's, let's not bury the lead here. I'm not just a man. I don't know anything.

• 22:09Speaker 04

  I feel your pain. I feel your pain. I want you, uh, to understand that sometimes things are crap.

• 22:17Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 22:17Speaker 04

  And we just have to.

• 22:18Speaker 05

  And just let it go.

• 22:19Speaker 04

  Well.

• 22:20Speaker 05

  Frozen.

• 22:21Speaker 04

  Yeah, let it go, but, um, you threw me with the Frozen reference, because I just wanted to break it out in song. I wonder if you'd join me? Let it go, let it go, don't hold me back anymore. Let it go, let it go.

• 22:43Speaker 03

  For the audio listener, I can only apologise.

• 22:46Speaker 05

  I'll say this, we did such a bad job of that, you don't have to pay Disney any rights.

• 22:51Speaker 04

  And it was less than 20 seconds.

• 22:52Speaker 05

  It was less than 20 seconds, and it was so far away from the melody and lyrics.

• 22:59Speaker 04

  So what do you think of that? Are you happy to maybe go on this journey with me and Jake?

• 23:03Speaker 05

  I'm very happy to go on this journey. I'm happy to, I need to learn how to let things go more.

• 23:07Speaker 04

  Just learn to understand that if something's crap, it's crap.

• 23:11Speaker 05

  There's nothing we can do about it.

• 23:15Speaker 04

  All right, let's begin with angry Nish, okay?

• 23:18Speaker 05

  Okay.

• 23:21Speaker 04

  You've got a new tour coming up.

• 23:22Speaker 05

  Correct, I'm under.

• 23:23Speaker 04

  And it is called?

• 23:25Speaker 05

  Angry humour from a really nice guy.

• 23:28Speaker 04

  Hmm. I would have thought the first half of it would be angrier.

• 23:32Speaker 05

  Angry humour from a really nice guy.

• 23:35Speaker 03

  Lovely.

• 23:36Speaker 04

  It's good.

• 23:37Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's a really good bit of voiceover there.

• 23:38Speaker 04

  What's it about?

• 23:39Speaker 05

  It's basically about me turning 40, and people my age turning, the sort of millennial generation, becoming the next generation of prime ministers and presidents. And it's sort of also about the world being on fire? And so it's a bit of that, it's a bit of a combination of two. It's a combination of the, we're in for a bad combination of the world being in real trouble, and the next generation of political leaders being some of the least competent people to have ever lived. I am concerned that my generation is dabbing its way into the halls of power. Trying to find someone to change a Tamagotchi battery.

• 24:21Speaker 05

  And saying things like, "I've remembered how to have breakfast, hashtag adulting." And I'm worried that that's the generation of prime ministers and presidents that's gonna confront the possible end of the world.

• 24:31Speaker 04

  Do you enjoy getting angry? Like, does it fuel you?

• 24:34Speaker 05

  No, I think what I find is, I find it very cathartic. Sometimes people after the shows will say to me, "I don't know how you sustain that level of anger." And the thing I always say to them is, "You're all as angry as me." Which is true. Like, a lot of people are really angry with what's going on. And I've got an outlet for which I get paid sweet doubloons.

• 24:52Speaker 04

  Hmm.

• 24:53Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 24:53Speaker 05

  Not only have I monetised my anger, it's fantastic.

• 24:58Speaker 04

  So you essentially do enjoy getting angry?

• 25:01Speaker 05

  I enjoy the money.

• 25:02Speaker 04

  You enjoy the money that comes from being angry?

• 25:04Speaker 05

  I enjoy the money that comes from being angry, yeah.

• 25:06Speaker 03

  You're angry for money?

• 25:07Speaker 05

  I'm angry for pay.

• 25:09Speaker 03

  You're not that dissimilar from Clarkson?

• 25:11Speaker 05

  I should be on GB News. I should have taken over Top Gear. I should have taken over the Grand Tour. Let's get me on there. Now, can I drive? No.

• 25:23Speaker 05

  When I say can I drive, do I mean that both physically and legally? No, on both camps. I can't drive a car, and I'm legally not allowed to drive a car. So, but let's freshen up the Grand Tour.

• 25:33Speaker 03

  Joe, do you find that people, because you are a big lad, obviously?

• 25:37Speaker 04

  What's you do that for then?

• 25:38Speaker 03

  Huh?

• 25:39Speaker 04

  Why have you gone big lad?

• 25:41Speaker 03

  It's just sort of the universal gesture for big lad, isn't it? You're a big lad.

• 25:44Speaker 04

  So a big lad.

• 25:45Speaker 03

  Do people think, and obviously with the rugby stuff, do people sort of assume you're always angry because you're a big physical presence?

• 25:50Speaker 04

  Yeah, I guess, yeah.

• 25:51Speaker 05

  But haven't you been, but haven't you via the traitors been introduced to the nation in a new light? As sort of kind, benevolent Jo Malah?

• 26:01Speaker 04

  But, yeah, but that's only some people that have seen that.

• 26:05Speaker 05

  Oh, sure, sure, sure.

• 26:06Speaker 04

  There is also a part of me that enjoys that.

• 26:08Speaker 05

  Yeah?

• 26:08Speaker 04

  As a bit of a, as a bit of a mask?

• 26:12Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 26:12Speaker 04

  Or a bit of a defence, immediate defence. Oh, they're gonna skirt around things because they think I'm gonna be angry.

• 26:19Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 26:19Speaker 04

  When actually it turns out, no, I'm not that arsed. But do you know what I mean? They're like, "Oh, don't, you might annoy him." But.

• 26:26Speaker 03

  That's quite a nice thing to have.

• 26:27Speaker 04

  Do you know what I mean? It's kind of a weird thing. Did you ever find that as like having a bit of a reputation of being quite angry and aggressive?

• 26:32Speaker 05

  Well, definitely, there are, there are times where people go, "Oh, don't bring that up in front of him." He's gonna be furious. And you're like, "What, the climate change and the end of the world?" I feel like we should all, I feel like I'm the sane one here. Don't bring up the fact that the world's on fire. It really gives him the hump.

• 26:49Speaker 03

  He'll be in a bad mood all night.

• 26:50Speaker 05

  He'll be in a bad mood all night. But the title of the show is kind of a cheat, is kind of a reference to the fact that I am both furious on stage, but also a kind of obsequious people pleaser offstage.

• 27:03Speaker 04

  As a kid?

• 27:04Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 27:05Speaker 04

  Were you angry?

• 27:05Speaker 05

  But, yeah, I was angry and, yeah, I was an angry kid, yeah.

• 27:09Speaker 04

  What?

• 27:09Speaker 05

  I don't wanna make anyone too sexually aroused, but I was the captain of my school's debating team. Uh-oh. Oh my god.

• 27:18Speaker 03

  How many people were on the team?

• 27:20Speaker 05

  Uh, two.

• 27:26Speaker 04

  What, what, don't, don't, don't be annoyed by this question.

• 27:29Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 27:30Speaker 04

  But.

• 27:31Speaker 05

  Again, would be wonderful if Norton did this.

• 27:36Speaker 05

  Listen to Cole Kimman.

• 27:37Speaker 04

  No, no, no.

• 27:37Speaker 05

  Don't get the hump about this.

• 27:38Speaker 04

  Oh, no.

• 27:41Speaker 03

  No offence, but.

• 27:45Speaker 04

  I, what is a debating team? Like, who would you debate against?

• 27:49Speaker 05

  Other schools.

• 27:51Speaker 04

  So is it like a legit, like?

• 27:52Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 27:53Speaker 04

  Match that you set up?

• 27:54Speaker 05

  Yeah, so weird.

• 27:54Speaker 04

  It's not like in-house?

• 27:56Speaker 05

  We, we did in-house and out-of-house.

• 27:58Speaker 03

  And that's funny you say that because you have to say this house.

• 28:00Speaker 05

  Yeah, that's exactly right, yeah.

• 28:02Speaker 04

  You have to say this house?

• 28:03Speaker 05

  That's the motion, so you debate on a motion, and the motion will be something like, this house believes that

• 28:10Speaker 05

  we should have the death penalty. And then there'd be one side proposing it and one side opposing it.

• 28:14Speaker 03

  At a school one, though, you'd have, you'd have, this house believes that there should be no death penalty, followed by, this house believes we should abolish school uniforms.

• 28:21Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah, exactly, that's the school debating level.

• 28:24Speaker 03

  Like, you'd have to do, you'd have both.

• 28:26Speaker 05

  This house believes that Wednesdays are rubbish.

• 28:28Speaker 03

  Followed by, this house believes that the Iraq war is an illegal war.

• 28:31Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 28:32Speaker 03

  You'd have proper, like, big, adult topics.

• 28:34Speaker 05

  I'm pretty sure that's exactly two debates we had when I was, I was, I was, I was at school in the early 2000s.

• 28:40Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 28:40Speaker 05

  Those were two hot-button topics, hump day and the Iraq war.

• 28:47Speaker 03

  Were you, did you, I mean, were you so good at the debating club that you were able to do the ultimate thing, which was debate a motion that you didn't agree with?

• 28:53Speaker 05

  No, so that's where, that's where I fell down in the end. I was able to very clearly argue stuff that I believed in. But I really struggled because part, the point of debating is it's supposed to teach you to argue. And so there will be times where you have to debate things that you're in favour of. And then there'll be times where you have to debate things that you're against. But the skill is that you can build an argument regardless. And I was never very good at debating things that I didn't, um. I, I, I do remember, this is true, the scoop final, we got to the final of a national competition when I was at school, and the final motion they gave me and my friend to defend was,

• 29:32Speaker 05

  we should enforce patents on antiretroviral drugs, uh, for people with AIDS. So it was like, basically defend the idea that medical companies should charge people for antiretroviral drugs to treat AIDS. And I did think, I don't think we're gonna win this competition.

• 29:52Speaker 03

  At that point, you're like, I've got GCSEs to be worried about, I, I, I think.

• 29:58Speaker 05

  But yeah, I was, that, but I, but I was always a very, I was a quite politically interested child, I would say.

• 30:05Speaker 04

  That, that's obviously a very formal way of getting into arguments or fights.

• 30:10Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 30:11Speaker 04

  Essentially. Why didn't, why did you want to do it so formally? Why didn't you just go, like?

• 30:19Speaker 05

  Oi, you. Death penalty, yea or nay?

• 30:22Speaker 04

  Well, just, yeah, just being, well, why was it so formal?

• 30:25Speaker 05

  I think it was just, I think in reality, if I'm honest, what I really liked was

• 30:32Speaker 05

  everyone being forced to listen to me speak. And I think what I also really liked, and what, what I was good at was writing jokes about serious subjects, that's why I was good at debating. James Acaster always says, I should tell everybody that I was, when I was at school, I used to do funny debating speeches. Because he says it explains everything about your work and personality. And I don't think he's been complimentary.

• 30:53Speaker 03

  What else, what, what else were you sort of like nerding out over as a kid?

• 30:57Speaker 05

  Oh, you know, I was, I, I've been describing myself on stage as a strange little boy. Because my two heroes when I was 15 were Bob Dylan and Jimi Hendrix. And I used to have a, they used to let us pick whatever tie we wanted to wear. And every day for two years, I wore a tie with all four of the Beatles on it from the inlay of the White Album.

• 31:18Speaker 04

  You're a Beatles fan?

• 31:19Speaker 05

  And the ladies wear one!

• 31:26Speaker 04

  What about Bob Dylan, um, the Hurricane song?

• 31:28Speaker 05

  Love the Hurricane.

• 31:29Speaker 04

  Hmm. Is that still on record the longest ever song?

• 31:34Speaker 05

  No, I don't, I don't think that's the longest Bob Dylan song. There's some long songs, man.

• 31:38Speaker 04

  The Hurricane's like eight minutes long.

• 31:39Speaker 05

  He recently did like, I think, a nearly 15-minute song about the assassination of JFK.

• 31:43Speaker 04

  Is he still with us?

• 31:45Speaker 05

  He is one, not only is he still with us, he's about to still be with me when I go to watch him at the Royal Festival Hall in December.

• 31:51Speaker 04

  What, he's still alive?

• 31:53Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 31:54Speaker 04

  How old is he?

• 31:54Speaker 05

  Eighty-five.

• 31:56Speaker 04

  Fuck.

• 31:56Speaker 05

  No, he's actually, yeah, he is eighty-five. Here comes the story of the hurricane. The many authorities came to blame. For something that he never done. And I love the Bob Dylan song, The Hurricane, and I actually got to play, uh, my guitar on stage with two of the members of that band, the violin player Scarlett Rivera and the bass player Rob Stoner, who played on Hurricane and the album Desire, and the subsequent Rolling Thunder Review Tour.

• 32:23Speaker 04

  You're a guitarist as well?

• 32:26Speaker 05

  As well as what? Again, I never said I was good.

• 32:29Speaker 04

  No, but you said stand-up comedian.

• 32:31Speaker 05

  Stand-up comedian, guitarist, debater. Is he good at any of them? That's not his business to say.

• 32:38Speaker 06

  Whenever fall comes back around, it always feels like a fresh start. This year, I've been layering in some styles from the new Lululemon fall drop. Because the weather is shifting and I find I have to be ready for the entire day and not just one part of it. Lululemon's fall line has some really versatile transitional pieces. So I can just wake up, throw on a matching set, add a jacket or a fleece, and head out. Knowing that I'll feel comfortable enough to go wherever the day takes me. Check out the new fall arrivals in store and online now at lululemon.com.

• 33:08Speaker 07

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• 33:37Speaker 05

  Ryan Reynolds here for Mint Mobile. The message for everyone paying big wireless way too much. Please, for the love of everything good in this world, stop. With Mint, you can get premium wireless for just $15 a month. Of course, if you enjoy overpaying, no judgements, but that's weird. Okay, one judgement. Anyway, give it a try at mintmobile.com/switch. Upfront payment of $45 for three-month plan, equivalent to $15 per month required.

• 34:02Speaker 04

  Intro rate first three months only, then full price plan options available. Taxes and fees extra. See full terms at mintmobile.com. This is a public service announcement that we are taking the podcast on tour.

• 34:14Speaker 03

  That's right, all over the country, you can come and see me, Joe, and that skeleton with a beard on it doing our thing.

• 34:20Speaker 04

  What about Janet?

• 34:22Speaker 03

  Well, she will maybe be there. I'm just worried that sometimes she sort of oversteps the mark a little bit. We've got a lot of people watching, that's the thing. We are gonna have some very special guests, that's guaranteed. We're gonna definitely get you your magnificent thighs on the show, people can see that in real life.

• 34:35Speaker 04

  All of them?

• 34:36Speaker 03

  What do you mean all of them? You've got three, actually, I heard the rumours.

• 34:41Speaker 04

  And I don't, I don't call my dick a thigh.

• 34:44Speaker 03

  There will be chaos.

• 34:46Speaker 04

  Who do you know that goes, hey, check out my thigh? As, as a reference for their dick? No one goes, oh, check out my third thigh?

• 34:53Speaker 03

  I thought when people talked about the thigh gap, it was lack of dick.

• 34:55Speaker 04

  What?

• 34:56Speaker 03

  There'll be chaos.

• 34:57Speaker 04

  Is that why they go, check out my third?

• 34:59Speaker 03

  I have to read, I have to read the autocue. I have to read the, I'm so contracted to. There'll be chaos, there'll be audience participation, and there's guaranteed to be some things we probably shouldn't say in front of a live audience, that will be one of them actually, probably. How do people get tickets and are they available now?

• 35:14Speaker 04

  Tickets are available right now. Haven't got a watch on. If you don't come, we will notice.

• 35:21Speaker 03

  I can't stress enough, these are massive venues, if you don't come, it will be a sea of empty seats. You have to buy a ticket. We really will notice. And it will bring shame on the podcast, which I don't think you want, because if you're watching this, you'd probably like it a bit.

• 35:33Speaker 04

  So, get your tickets from the link in the description. Now.

• 35:42Speaker 04

  What other things did you sort of nerd out on when you weren't debating?

• 35:46Speaker 05

  Uh, well, I was a big fan of comedy, I was a huge fan of, well, I was a big fan of, I, I still am a big fan of going to the movies. I watched a lot of films, I watched a lot of movies when I was a kid.

• 35:55Speaker 04

  You happy going to the movies alone?

• 35:57Speaker 05

  Thrilled, did, did it on Friday.

• 36:00Speaker 04

  What did you see?

• 36:00Speaker 05

  Double header, I saw Bitter Christmas, the new Pedro Armodovar movie, and Teenage Sex and Death at Camp Miasma.

• 36:07Speaker 03

  Two films in one day?

• 36:08Speaker 05

  Yeah, double header.

• 36:09Speaker 04

  Did you stop for lunch?

• 36:11Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah, I stopped for lunch. Watched one in the morning, had lunch, went back, saw the second movie. Fantastic.

• 36:17Speaker 03

  I, I've never met anyone who's seen two films in the cinema in one day.

• 36:21Speaker 05

  That can't be true.

• 36:22Speaker 03

  Genuinely, that's true.

• 36:23Speaker 05

  Really?

• 36:23Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 36:24Speaker 05

  Oh, that's something, that's quite a common thing, that's actually, yeah.

• 36:27Speaker 03

  Sorry, hang on. We didn't tee up a show of hands there. What's happened? We asked for so much engagement over these last fucking episodes, and no one goes, and then suddenly there's a, there's a silent show of defiance against what I've just said.

• 36:39Speaker 05

  For the benefit of people, obviously neither, neither the viewers nor the listeners can see or hear, but the entire crew have just reenacted the end of Spartacus.

• 36:45Speaker 03

  Every single person has stood, has put their hand up.

• 36:49Speaker 05

  In solidarity, it was niche that they've all seen two films in the same day. I've seen three films in a day.

• 36:53Speaker 04

  What, hang on?

• 36:54Speaker 03

  Do you want to put your hands up for that? He may say too much. Too much nerd.

• 36:59Speaker 04

  Just for the three films, were they connected?

• 37:02Speaker 05

  No.

• 37:03Speaker 04

  They weren't connected at all?

• 37:04Speaker 05

  There were three, three, I think they were in three different cinemas.

• 37:09Speaker 04

  Now that's wild.

• 37:10Speaker 05

  I was, I was just bouncing around town watching movies.

• 37:13Speaker 04

  Okay, well, I, I admire that, I wish I had your life, if I'm honest.

• 37:17Speaker 05

  Yeah, like an American.

• 37:21Speaker 03

  That's what Americans do, isn't it? They're just sort of like, Americans don't book to go to the cinema, they just catch a movie.

• 37:27Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 37:27Speaker 03

  It's incredible.

• 37:28Speaker 04

  Why and what?

• 37:30Speaker 03

  They, that's my view of Americans anyway, from the 1950s.

• 37:33Speaker 04

  I thought you were actually telling me how they go about actually purchasing their tickets.

• 37:37Speaker 03

  What, when you're coming home from school, what telly were you banging on when you got home?

• 37:40Speaker 05

  Well, I grew up in the late 90s, early 2000s, so obviously I was banging on The Simpsons at 6pm.

• 37:45Speaker 04

  I fucking love The Simpsons. I mean, I don't get to watch it anymore, but...

• 37:49Speaker 03

  I love The Simpsons, but I had a complicated relationship with Apu.

• 37:52Speaker 05

  Yeah, as did a lot of, this is, this is the complex relationship, isn't it?

• 37:56Speaker 04

  Is this something I need to sit back on?

• 37:59Speaker 03

  Uh, well, you, you weren't doing The Voice, were you? You've definitely done The Voice at some point, and I don't blame you for it. You, you will have done The Voice at some point, but it was like, Simpsons is just genius, but they just had to have that one... Because he was like the most famous Indian guy on telly.

• 38:14Speaker 05

  That's the thing, my friend Harry Contobal, who actually made a really good documentary about it called The Problem with Apu, which is about the like tension between...

• 38:21Speaker 03

  You know that guy?

• 38:22Speaker 05

  Yeah, it's about the tension between being a Simpsons fan who is also South Asian. And also, Apu is such a complicated character because it is, there is so much of it that's a stereotype and a trope. But he's also named after the protagonist in the Apu trilogy, the Satyajit Rai movies, that like The Simpsons creators all really loved. So it is a, it's a really rich and complicated backstory to that character. And it, I think with, I think the issue with Apu mainly is that it's a problem when a show is still on TV, like 40 years after it started. Like, a show that was invented in 1989 is obviously gonna have values that feel dissonant in 2026.

• 39:05Speaker 05

  But they did, they did eventually, they actually, Apu does no longer exist on The Simpsons, I believe.

• 39:10Speaker 03

  Yeah, because it doesn't, it, it doesn't feel rich and nuanced when you're sort of like in the playground.

• 39:15Speaker 05

  That's what I mean, yeah.

• 39:16Speaker 03

  Someone going, "Thank you, come again, thank you, come again, thank you, come again."

• 39:18Speaker 05

  That's, and that's the premise of the documentary.

• 39:20Speaker 03

  One of the great things about The Simpsons, I think, that everyone is always fascinated by is the predictions.

• 39:25Speaker 05

  Yes, yes, yes. Trump coming down the escalator, yeah.

• 39:28Speaker 04

  That can't be true.

• 39:29Speaker 05

  What?

• 39:31Speaker 04

  I've seen so many of these that The Simpsons have predicted it all.

• 39:37Speaker 04

  But for some reason, I've stitched in my own brain that they just went back, the creators just went back and changed it.

• 39:43Speaker 05

  And then just changed it. No, no, no.

• 39:44Speaker 03

  Producer George has given me some of the freakiest ones. Donald Trump's presidency in a 2000 episode titled Bart to the Future. Lisa Simpson becomes president, mentions inheriting a massive budget crunch from her predecessor, Donald Trump.

• 39:56Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 39:56Speaker 03

  And there's even that scene where he's like coming down an escalator.

• 39:58Speaker 05

  Coming down an escalator, yeah.

• 39:59Speaker 03

  At the, and there's this image when he became president of him coming down the, what seems to be the similar escalator.

• 40:04Speaker 04

  Yeah, but has he done that? What time was that, like?

• 40:08Speaker 03

  I don't think so, no, no. He couldn't have just...

• 40:12Speaker 04

  He's not intelligent enough to go on.

• 40:13Speaker 03

  Covid, in 1993, they predicted a pandemic with flu-like symptoms spreading from Asia.

• 40:17Speaker 04

  They predicted Covid?

• 40:19Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 40:20Speaker 05

  Yeah. The only thing I would say about both of these things is, a lot of people,

• 40:26Speaker 05

  there, there, there have been these kind of once a century pandemics, like the Spanish flu in the 1920s. But I think with The Simpsons, it is just, it's what happens when you have a lot of smart people in a writer's room. Because President Donald Trump, like, feels out of step, but if you're, if you're thinking satirically about America, it makes total sense that Donald Trump would become president, you know? The combination of celebrity and wealth has always sort of intersected with American politics. And, you know, if Ronald Reagan can go from starring in a trilogy of films with a chimpanzee called Bonza,

• 41:05Speaker 05

  it doesn't feel, it feels less crazy when you think about that.

• 41:08Speaker 03

  Um, so, Nish, very quickly, I thought we could do our own sort of Simpsons-style quickfire predictions. Um, and just see what you think is gonna happen on some of these topics.

• 41:16Speaker 05

  Right.

• 41:17Speaker 03

  Um, quickfire predictions, Andy Burnham's mid to distant future.

• 41:22Speaker 05

  Well, I think he'll still be Prime Minister at the next election. I don't think there's any way that whoever, I think, I don't think there's any way he'll be, he won't be going, leading the Labour Party into the next general election, 100%.

• 41:36Speaker 03

  Oh, is it too late to call this segment Nishradamas?

• 41:39Speaker 05

  No, definitely not.

• 41:40Speaker 03

  Is it too, too late? I think, it's not, is it? We'll, we'll get a graphic.

• 41:44Speaker 04

  Oh my god, hang on.

• 41:45Speaker 05

  Nishradamas or Noskumaras?

• 41:47Speaker 03

  Oh my god!

• 41:49Speaker 05

  Noskumaras.

• 41:50Speaker 04

  This is great.

• 41:51Speaker 03

  Incredible!

• 41:51Speaker 04

  I've got an idea, guys, I've got an idea, can we call this?

• 41:57Speaker 04

  Nearly stole it, nearly stole it.

• 42:00Speaker 03

  Um, will this news, will, will this scandal about funding be the thing that brings down Farage?

• 42:05Speaker 05

  Uh, no, I don't think so. I don't, I don't think it will.

• 42:08Speaker 04

  You don't think he'll get rid?

• 42:09Speaker 05

  No, I don't think it will. I, I think that he, because I think in order to really, in order to get rid of the leader of a political party, it doesn't matter how much external pressure there is, eventually, someone from within the party has to be the one that actually removes them. You know, that, if you look at every Tory leader, every, even Starmer, even with, the reason Starmer went was the Labour Party eventually had enough of him. And I don't think, I'm not sure there's anything Farage could do.

• 42:36Speaker 03

  Yeah, so true.

• 42:37Speaker 05

  I think Farage could cook and eat Larry the Cat. And I think, I believe still, some members of the Reform Party would say, the thing is, Nigel's a man of the people.

• 42:46Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 42:46Speaker 05

  And sometimes men of the people will cook and eat cats. Okay, he, he actually, he's not caught up in the sort of elite of politics, the non-cat eater.

• 42:54Speaker 03

  Sorry for making a stand against ultra-processed food.

• 42:58Speaker 03

  You know what I mean?

• 43:01Speaker 03

  It's called whole ingredients.

• 43:02Speaker 04

  Ridiculous.

• 43:03Speaker 03

  Um, I know that you, I think, I think you might, well, let's find out, you're friends with half the people involved in this. Who's gonna be, who's gonna win Celebrity Traitors 2?

• 43:10Speaker 05

  Oh.

• 43:11Speaker 03

  Series 2.

• 43:11Speaker 05

  Who's gonna win Celebrity Traitors Series 2?

• 43:14Speaker 04

  Oh.

• 43:17Speaker 05

  I'm trying to remember who else is in it.

• 43:19Speaker 03

  Huge prediction coming in. This, this is a Joe Marlowe, see you now exclusive.

• 43:24Speaker 03

  I'm calling it.

• 43:26Speaker 05

  I think it's going to be Alan Carr. I think there's gonna be a mid-game switch.

• 43:32Speaker 04

  He's come back, he's come back.

• 43:33Speaker 05

  They're trying to twist, they're putting twists on the format. I think mid-game switch, Alan Carr comes in for Michael Sheen and ends up winning the whole thing.

• 43:41Speaker 03

  Um, who's winning the Premier League?

• 43:43Speaker 05

  Arsenal.

• 43:44Speaker 03

  And finally, Joe and I are going on tour.

• 43:46Speaker 05

  Here we go.

• 43:47Speaker 03

  Can you help us with any predictions? Would it be okay, or is it all gonna go tits up?

• 43:51Speaker 05

  No, I think it's gonna go great. I think it's gonna be fantastic.

• 43:53Speaker 03

  We're very nervous.

• 43:54Speaker 05

  As long as you take that desk that's slightly too small for the stuff that needs to be on it, Jake. I think the, I think the, the key to this show is the lack of proportion in the desks. Because I think it gives, sorry, the proportion of the desk, because it gives you a sense of like, it keeps you in your place.

• 44:09Speaker 03

  It really does.

• 44:10Speaker 05

  And the thing, the thing when, when double axel bands go on tour is, there's a tension over who's in charge. But based on the size of desk, Jake has very much been put in his place.

• 44:18Speaker 03

  I think the proximity of the desks from each other helps that as well, doesn't it?

• 44:21Speaker 05

  I think as long as you stage every show in exactly this way.

• 44:26Speaker 03

  I've, on the, if, you scale this up to the Palladium, it's gonna be fucking mental. Joe, what are you thinking about?

• 44:34Speaker 04

  What?

• 44:40Speaker 04

  Right, Nish, you've spent years at the face of culture wars in this country.

• 44:44Speaker 05

  Correct.

• 44:45Speaker 04

  Sticking it to the man.

• 44:46Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 44:46Speaker 04

  And I mean that in like a good way, rather than most people go, oh, he's the sort of guy that just sticks it to the man. What does sticking it to the man mean?

• 44:54Speaker 05

  It feels like something from, it feels like vernacular from the 60s. Because they, there was a lot of like, in the kind of hippie era, there was a lot of talk about the man. The man is trying to get us down, so we gotta stick it to the man.

• 45:06Speaker 04

  I thought it was more from School of Rock.

• 45:08Speaker 05

  Well, I think that, I think, I think School of Rock may have got it from the 60s.

• 45:14Speaker 04

  I wasn't born in the 60s.

• 45:15Speaker 05

  Listen, a perfect film, absolutely a perfect film, School of Rock.

• 45:18Speaker 04

  It's good. Um, but being a...

• 45:20Speaker 05

  Baby, we were making straight A's, but we were stuck in the dull days. Don't take much to memorize your lies. I feel like I've been hypnotized. And if you wanna be the teacher's pet, baby, you just better forget it. Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. Rock got no reason. Rock got no rhyme. You better get me to school on time. Oh, yeah!

• 45:47Speaker 04

  Oh, I wonder why you joined in with Nish and not me?

• 45:51Speaker 04

  I wonder why you two teamed up?

• 45:54Speaker 05

  Indian of politics, baby!

• 45:57Speaker 03

  I'm Indian, he's politics.

• 46:02Speaker 05

  Now, we've booked the Palladium.

• 46:07Speaker 03

  As long as it's not Indian politics, horrible stuff that, horrible stuff that.

• 46:10Speaker 05

  Horrible stuff, Indian politics, horrible man. Absolutely awful, the men from Odeon.

• 46:14Speaker 03

  Terrible bloke.

• 46:15Speaker 04

  What I love is that we've just had that moment of joy and then I'm meant to following it up with this.

• 46:22Speaker 04

  And you know the question.

• 46:25Speaker 04

  There's no way of doing it, it's fine.

• 46:28Speaker 04

  You spent years as the face of the culture wars.

• 46:31Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 46:31Speaker 04

  In this country, during which you faced a lot of abuse.

• 46:35Speaker 05

  Correct.

• 46:36Speaker 04

  What was some of the worst criticism that you got?

• 46:39Speaker 05

  I can do it, just do it.

• 46:41Speaker 03

  So do you remember how you were singing that lovely song, just like, hey, and you're in this smiling face? What's the nastiest thing you've had to you?

• 46:49Speaker 05

  I got some death threats in 2020.

• 46:54Speaker 04

  What, like real life ones?

• 46:55Speaker 05

  As in like, we had to get the police involved, yeah. But it was, it was a really weird time when you look back on it. I think a lot of things were going on. Basically, in the kind of late 2010s, I was hosting a show on the BBC called The Mash Report, it was a political comedy show. And in the late 2010s, post Brexit, a lot of the kind of conservative political project was malfunctioning. Which seems hard to sort of think back on, given that they then won a thumping win in the election in 2019. But, and also it's hard to remember kind of anything before Covid now, but it was, the thing was malfunctioning. Also, I was hosting a show on the BBC.

• 47:34Speaker 05

  And so there is a section of the British press that is trying to eliminate the BBC and may well succeed eventually. But they were using any excuse to say, how dare you spend licence fee money on this, this and this. Now, unfortunately, a show that was sort of largely fronted by people of colour, women, even women of colour. That, that show was sort of almost, it was exactly the sort of thing that they wanted to fixate on. You know, how dare you spend the licence fee on this TV show? And so I sort of became the face of a lot of that. I think there was a lot of people that wanted to criticize the BBC and I was the sort of way in for them.

• 48:15Speaker 05

  Yeah, so it was, it was a very strange period in my life that I look back on with some confusion. And through the help of, and this is not a criticism, a real therapist.

• 48:31Speaker 05

  I'm able to look back on it with a kind of strange sense of, like, a strange sense of sort of, I, I've got a good perspective on those years. You sort of become a character in the media. But, and it did lead to some quite extraordinary things, you know, a man, a man who has a column in The Times got so upset with me that he said that I was too offensive for an event that I was performing at. And the event that I was performing at was the Freedom of Expression Awards.

• 49:01Speaker 04

  I wonder what, I wonder what was going through his head.

• 49:05Speaker 05

  It's really unclear.

• 49:06Speaker 04

  When he said those words or wrote those words going, oh.

• 49:08Speaker 05

  It was really, really, it was really unclear, really, really unclear.

• 49:13Speaker 04

  You touched on, like, in the, in the midst of it all, you became a character.

• 49:20Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 49:20Speaker 04

  In it all. Did, did any point of it, did any part of you get lost in that and then ended up playing more of a character? So I'm trying to relate, so in my rugby career, which is a tiny microcosm of the actual world that was there and nothing like it, but I was a pantomime villain.

• 49:36Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 49:36Speaker 04

  And, you know, I did things wrong and fucked up and, you know, in, in the sport. And then would, and there was times where it got really intense and then I'd lean into it more and become that character as a way of almost trying to control the narrative and the abuse that I was receiving off the back of it that I could handle. Cause I was actually going out my way to.

• 49:58Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 49:58Speaker 04

  You know, I, I'm doing these things and the abuse I'm getting off the back is, is I'm in control of them.

• 50:03Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 50:03Speaker 04

  I'm asking for it.

• 50:06Speaker 04

  Did you ever like go, actually, this is my position, I'm going to lean into and become this villain that they're thinking I, or making out that I am?

• 50:13Speaker 05

  We definitely made jokes about it on The Mash Report. We definitely leant into the sort of comedy of the hysteria of those reactions. But I think, I think it was only like a couple of years later, in 2022, I did a whole show about it, a stand-up show about it. And that was probably the time where I like grappled with the sort of actuality of it. And that, the show was called Your Power, Your Control. And it is available on the internet and Sky, I think.

• 50:44Speaker 04

  Hopefully.

• 50:44Speaker 05

  But that show was the first time where I think I like grappled with the actuality of it. But we probably did lean into it for comedy on The Mash Report. We leant into some of the hostility of the responses in the press. And we were definitely, that, that was a way of us kind of taking control of it.

• 51:04Speaker 04

  What I've loved and loved hearing is the darkness at which you clearly went to on the, all the heat. When you go fucking death threats and journalists, what was this? This one says a journalist wanted to throw an axe at you.

• 51:19Speaker 05

  Yes, yes, yes, one of the Sun's, the Sun's television critic, yeah.

• 51:23Speaker 04

  And I love that you can now sit there and just talk about it, not with joy, but with ease and you've dealt with it all.

• 51:32Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 51:32Speaker 04

  But were there moments there in it where you're like, fuck this?

• 51:36Speaker 05

  Yeah, I lost my mind.

• 51:37Speaker 04

  I'm just gonna get out of this and stop it all, I don't want any of the noise.

• 51:41Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 51:41Speaker 04

  Cause it, all of that far outweighs any joy that I was getting from actually the stuff you were producing.

• 51:47Speaker 05

  Yeah, 100%. Oh, there were so many times where I, my agent is sick of me, hearing me say, I'm quitting. And, you know, there is always a part of you that's like, to do what? You have no skills. Like, what are you gonna do?

• 52:01Speaker 04

  Fantastic supportive agent you have.

• 52:05Speaker 04

  You've got fuck all else, mate.

• 52:07Speaker 05

  To do what? But it's, yeah, there were definitely, there's a lot of points where you're like, why am I doing, what the hell's going on?

• 52:13Speaker 04

  So why did you then go, no, fuck it, I'm gonna fight for this and I'm gonna crack on and do more?

• 52:17Speaker 05

  I don't like being bullied and I never did. And so, but, and that's not to say that a big part of why I've been able to, why I was like able to continue is because I made good money and I used that money to pay a really good therapist who helped me then and still continues to help me now in terms of managing my mental health. Like it's, that's the only reason I'm still sort of doing this job really, I think. And also I got a really supportive partner and a really supportive group of friends who, you know, of whom Acasta would number as one, who like, and that, there's like a community that really kept me afloat through that period of time.

• 53:01Speaker 05

  And it's, yeah, you really, you really lean on your friends and family at that point. And I, I did lean on my friends and family and I did also just have a really good therapist, like in a combination of all of that stuff. And also part of the reason I was able to afford a therapist, because it's really difficult to get it, that sort of support in the NHS is because I made money. And so I'm not like blind to the fact that I'm lucky in that my career went well enough. That a by-product of all the negative stuff was, I was like touring and playing theatres and I reinvested that money into my mental health.

• 53:42Speaker 04

  Right, Nish, we have tried to help you care less today.

• 53:46Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 53:46Speaker 04

  Uh, I think we've had a little bit of success.

• 53:48Speaker 05

  Definitely.

• 53:48Speaker 04

  Uh, but I think there's still quite clearly some work to do.

• 53:52Speaker 05

  Lots.

• 53:53Speaker 04

  In this final exercise, I want to bring it back to politics because I feel that's my strong point.

• 53:59Speaker 05

  Here we go.

• 54:02Speaker 04

  To give you some faith in our political leaders, let's see how terrible the cabinet would look if it was full of comedians.

• 54:10Speaker 05

  Here we go.

• 54:11Speaker 04

  Okay, we're gonna debate who would make the best cabinet out of our famous comedians. And the positions I'm looking for are Prime Minister.

• 54:21Speaker 05

  Here we go.

• 54:21Speaker 04

  Defence Secretary.

• 54:23Speaker 05

  Oh boy.

• 54:23Speaker 04

  Chancellor of the Exchequer, in brackets, Budget, thank you for putting that.

• 54:30Speaker 04

  I had semi-worked out that it was that, but I really appreciate just giving me that nudge, nudge along, really good.

• 54:37Speaker 03

  Money and stuff.

• 54:40Speaker 03

  Money and stuff.

• 54:41Speaker 04

  We're gonna go Foreign Secretary, Education and Health.

• 54:46Speaker 03

  Shall we start from the bottom?

• 54:47Speaker 04

  Now we're here.

• 54:48Speaker 03

  Yeah. Shall we go, shall we start from Health and move up?

• 54:51Speaker 04

  Are you saying that the Health is probably the least important?

• 54:54Speaker 03

  I don't think it is, but I think, I think that the British, the, the, the government establishment has probably prioritised Health and Education lower than it should be for many years. Um, Health Secretary.

• 55:03Speaker 05

  Maybe Gamble?

• 55:05Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 55:06Speaker 05

  Gamble's a very healthy guy.

• 55:08Speaker 04

  He is looking younger than he was.

• 55:10Speaker 05

  Yeah, Gamble, and also I've, Gamble's been on a health journey. Gamble's also got a chronic condition, he's type one diabetic. So that gives him an interesting perspective on living with a chronic condition. But he like lives very healthily, but still will occasionally have a ten-course dinner. So he's got, I think he's got a nice rounded balance.

• 55:29Speaker 04

  Any other offers?

• 55:29Speaker 03

  I like that you're, I like that you're looking for some sort of prior experience for the role.

• 55:33Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 55:34Speaker 03

  Rather than the current system, which is, who's up, who's up for it?

• 55:37Speaker 05

  Who's up for it?

• 55:37Speaker 03

  Who's up for it? Who's up for it and who's quite good mates with me? I mean, to be fair, you are quite good mates, but this is a hypothetical thing about comedians. But weirdly, that similarity is both in this one and that, and the real one. Um, Education Secretary.

• 55:53Speaker 05

  There's a, there's probably quite an obvious answer here. Well, there's a few because ex-teachers, right?

• 55:58Speaker 03

  They're all bloody teachers, yeah.

• 56:00Speaker 05

  Ranganathan's ex-teacher.

• 56:03Speaker 03

  Greg Davis, ex-teacher.

• 56:04Speaker 05

  Laura Smith. There's a lot of good options in that. This, of all, listen, to be clear, I don't think any comedian should go into politics. But in the reality that we've accepted, where we have to name them as politicians, we are slightly, we are sort of overstuffed for, oh, actually, Health Minister, we could, we, we could also go looking to Sinha. We could look at Harry Hill. These are former doctors, doctors, Mike Wasniak.

• 56:30Speaker 04

  In what? What were they doctors in though?

• 56:32Speaker 05

  They were all medical doctors.

• 56:33Speaker 03

  Medical doctors, like you.

• 56:33Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 56:34Speaker 03

  Um, Foreign Secretary, Sue Perkins has been loads of places.

• 56:39Speaker 05

  Perkins has done a lot of travelling.

• 56:40Speaker 03

  Perkins has been around.

• 56:41Speaker 05

  Perkins has done a lot of travel.

• 56:43Speaker 04

  Superkins.

• 56:44Speaker 05

  Superkins has done a lot of travel, so you've got to be, you, you wanna be looking at your Perkins, your Palins. These are, the, the, your travel-based comedians.

• 56:53Speaker 03

  Um, Chancellor of the Exchequer.

• 56:56Speaker 04

  Budget.

• 56:56Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 56:58Speaker 05

  Got so excited, he dropped his pencil.

• 57:01Speaker 03

  Who's been managing loads of money for quite some time?

• 57:03Speaker 05

  Catherine Ryan is both very rich and very generous. Catherine Ryan is secretly one of the most generous people in the comedy industry. And I think, but she also knows how to keep her finances in check.

• 57:16Speaker 04

  Okay, the Defence Secretary.

• 57:17Speaker 05

  Mmm. I think this might surprise a lot of people, but if there's one person I would, would say would be willing to push the button, Sarah Pascoe.

• 57:26Speaker 04

  For real?

• 57:27Speaker 05

  If there's one person, in spite of all of her, like, public, Pascoe wouldn't hesitate for a second. She's cold-blooded.

• 57:40Speaker 05

  She wouldn't hesitate for a second.

• 57:41Speaker 03

  And finally, who's got the top job?

• 57:43Speaker 05

  The reality is that Greg Davis looks so imposing.

• 57:49Speaker 03

  Mm-hmm.

• 57:50Speaker 05

  That, and, and, and as Taskmaster, he is sort of the Prime Minister of, like, entertainment.

• 57:57Speaker 03

  I think this is a good shout.

• 57:58Speaker 05

  Be quite funny to have Acasta as Prime Minister.

• 58:00Speaker 03

  Fuck off.

• 58:00Speaker 05

  Just for the UN negotiations. We've just thrown an absolute curveball in there. Imagine the US, UK trade negotiations. Trump's like, I'm, I'm gonna put a tariff on all dogs. And Acasta would be like, oh yeah? You think you could out-weird me? I'm gonna out-weird you. We've changed the name of the country to Fuck You, Trump. How do you feel about that? It, it, you, you'd have a real advantage in trade negotiations because nobody would be able to predict what he was gonna say sentence to sentence.

• 58:26Speaker 03

  That would be class, wouldn't it? Fucking Acasta as Prime Minister. Oh, this is the perfect line-up.

• 58:33Speaker 04

  You're not giving yourself any role.

• 58:34Speaker 05

  God, no.

• 58:36Speaker 03

  No, what would have been nice though, Joe, on retrospect is if we went, but we think that you should be. So you've done all the Cabinet, but actually gonna stop you then is because we're gonna crown you Prime Minister. Uh, but we didn't. We sort of just let you talk about everyone else. So Nish, what do we think? Has that helped you in any way at all?

• 58:55Speaker 05

  No, you know what? It has given me a lot of faith. Because now that you've listed those people, I've realised maybe our current Cabinet isn't so bad after all.

• 59:02Speaker 03

  Wonderfully done. Really wonderfully done.

• 59:07Speaker 04

  Nish, that's the end of our session today.

• 59:09Speaker 05

  I'm cured.

• 59:11Speaker 04

  I wouldn't, I wouldn't, I wouldn't, as a, a pseudo-professional, um, I wouldn't say that.

• 59:17Speaker 05

  Even in my unprofessional opinion, I wouldn't say that.

• 59:19Speaker 04

  Is a sentence that you should come out with, um, and we haven't helped you with that. I do know that I have had fun.

• 59:26Speaker 05

  It's been very fun. I've had a great time.

• 59:28Speaker 04

  I've learnt so much. And if you're doing that to me and all the other people that come and see your tour and continue to watch your comedy, it's fucking brilliant. Keep doing it.

• 59:37Speaker 05

  Thanks, Joe.

• 59:38Speaker 04

  I absolutely love it. Remind us where people can get tickets for your tour, please.

• 59:42Speaker 05

  You can go to nishkumar.co.uk and buy tickets for my tour, Angry Humour, from a really nice guy. Coming to all theatres in UK and Ireland. Not all of them, some of them.

• 59:51Speaker 04

  All right, before you go, um, everyone gets a badge to remind them of the, the arc that they've been on in today's session. What options have we gone with, Badge, Jake?

• 1:00:00Speaker 03

  Uh, we've gone with Not My Fucking Problem.

• 1:00:08Speaker 03

  And that is for you, Nish. You can take that with you.

• 1:00:09Speaker 04

  Okay, it's definitely yours.

• 1:00:12Speaker 05

  Thank you very much, Jake. Wow, that's fantastic.

• 1:00:15Speaker 04

  You've got a selection of lollipops that you're allowed.

• 1:00:18Speaker 05

  God.

• 1:00:19Speaker 04

  Don't worry about the spillage of those ones that clearly have melted. You can, oh, yeah.

• 1:00:22Speaker 05

  There's a couple of them that have melted.

• 1:00:25Speaker 04

  So they've melted together?

• 1:00:27Speaker 05

  These ones have melted together.

• 1:00:28Speaker 04

  God. You go yellow.

• 1:00:29Speaker 03

  It's been a tough August, hasn't it? While we've not been here.

• 1:00:31Speaker 05

  I'll tell you what, the temperature has not been kind to the lolly community.

• 1:00:36Speaker 04

  Nish Kumar, everybody! Please, Janet will see you out and give you a little bag of meth as you go.

• 1:00:42Speaker 03

  Go on, Janet. Wake yourself up. Let's get the meth in me.

• 1:00:47Speaker 04

  If you wanna join the doctors waiting list, then please subscribe to our YouTube channel and follow us on Instagram, at We'll See You Now Show. Remember, unless it's not clear enough already, I'm not a real doctor. If you need any professional help, you'll find a link to great support services on our Instagram. I've been Joe Marler, he's been Jake Bhardwaj. I was hoping they would applaud him, but clearly.

• 1:01:10Speaker 03

  Too late. It's too late.

• 1:01:13Speaker 04

  Too late.

• 1:01:13Speaker 03

  We'll see you next time.

• 1:01:15Speaker 04

  Bye-bye.

• 1:01:18Speaker 02

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• 1:01:47Speaker 05

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