Pod Insights Joe and James Fact Up Kids Don’t Give a F*** About this episode Can you impress girls with your gaming ability? Joe Thomas can! James shares his top tips for hot weather and the boys lay into Scrappy Doo... someone had to.
PLUS it's finally the FINAL of the World 'Up!
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Transcript 0:00 Speaker 00 Hey, it's Adam Grant from TED's Rethinking Podcast. As businesses scale, success depends on how well knowledge is captured, shared, and kept up to date. Camtasia Pro turns teams' expertise into engaging training, onboarding, and documentation. No professional editing experience required. With the industry's best screen recording, video editing, and AI-powered workflows, you can train faster and boost operational efficiency. Get over $100 off your first year at camtasia pro.com and start building a smarter way to educate customers, onboard employees, and ensure valuable expertise is shared across teams.
0:33 Speaker 01 Hello, this is Suzy Ruffel.
0:34 Speaker 02 And Maisy Adam.
0:35 Speaker 01 And together we host Big Kick Energy. Hey Mais, what is it?
0:38 Speaker 02 Only the best podcast ever.
0:40 Speaker 01 Yeah.
0:41 Speaker 02 A comedy entertainment podcast with a focus on all things women's football, all things hilarious, all things friendship. It's a laugh is what it is, Ruffel.
0:51 Speaker 01 Yeah, and a fair bit of gossiping, too.
0:52 Speaker 02 Oh, and a lovely bit of gossip. Chow down on the gossip.
0:55 Speaker 01 Num, num, num, num, num. You can listen wherever you get your podcasts. You just need to search Big Kick Energy.
1:00 Speaker 02 Grab a knife and fork and tuck in, baby.
1:06 Speaker 03 Uh, I think about the lawn again.
1:08 Speaker 04 What's up with the lawn?
1:09 Speaker 03 Uh, just man height dandelions.
1:13 Speaker 04 Right.
1:14 Speaker 03 Um, and...
1:16 Speaker 04 Good thing to do to your kids.
1:18 Speaker 03 Yeah.
1:18 Speaker 04 Because you know they love blowing.
1:19 Speaker 03 Yeah.
1:20 Speaker 04 The dandelions. You should go, right, give this a good blow. So when they go, you put it in the mouth.
1:25 Speaker 03 Oh, no. Oh, my goodness. What's the one with the egg where you go? When you're about, you do baking with your kids and you go to crack the egg? And then just as you're about to crack it, you just put it on their forehead?
1:37 Speaker 04 Yeah. No, that's one, that's something like, that's hard boiled eggs and you sneak in a normal one or something.
1:45 Speaker 03 Oh, it might, yes, maybe, maybe.
1:48 Speaker 04 I mean, you can just hit your kids with eggs. That's the good thing about kids. They're much smaller than you.
1:54 Speaker 03 One of the things I was most grateful to my daughter for when she was smaller was that when I got her up in the morning, she just, I could just fart as much as I wanted around her. She just didn't give a shit. Like, I just, I just go, I'm quite farty, you know, I have coffee and it makes me very farty. She does not care. She does not give a fuck. Actually, here's a fact. So my daughter, there was a night, a couple of nights ago, when she did two farts and...
2:24 Speaker 03 Both of them were so smelly, they literally woke me up.
2:29 Speaker 04 Right.
2:30 Speaker 03 It was this, um, it was also this night where it was really, really hot, so we had the fan going.
2:37 Speaker 04 I think there's something about temperature that can make the fart more deadly.
2:42 Speaker 03 It was honestly horrendous. I, I.
2:44 Speaker 04 I think it's about the, the heat of the air around the fart that maybe keeps it.
2:50 Speaker 03 But the fan was blowing the fart into my face. Um.
2:54 Speaker 04 I did that the other night.
2:56 Speaker 03 Yeah.
2:56 Speaker 04 It's been very warm here. We've had, uh, me and Claire each have a fan on each side of our bed.
3:03 Speaker 03 Yeah.
3:03 Speaker 04 Um, because that was a fight for a while.
3:06 Speaker 03 Okay.
3:07 Speaker 04 One fan.
3:07 Speaker 03 Yeah.
3:08 Speaker 04 Well, you had it over your side last night. So I was like, do you know what? I'm gonna get another fan.
3:11 Speaker 03 Is it, have you got a panning fan?
3:13 Speaker 04 It, it's a tower.
3:14 Speaker 03 We've got a tower as well.
3:15 Speaker 04 Tower. So we've got two towers on either side of, of, of the bed at the moment. And, uh, I couldn't help myself. I farted into the back of the fan. So they just got sucked up.
3:32 Speaker 04 It just went straight into her face.
3:33 Speaker 03 Calmed down.
3:36 Speaker 03 And then, oh my god.
3:38 Speaker 04 The thing that, um, annoyed her about it was, was because I farted into the fan, which blew it into her. But on the other side of the bed was another fan blowing back, back to her. So.
3:48 Speaker 03 So it can't go away.
3:49 Speaker 04 She was like, it's just blowing, uh, it's just coming at me from all directions.
3:52 Speaker 03 She was like that place where the two, where the two seas meet and they go.
3:57 Speaker 04 Yeah. Where's that place, Joe?
3:59 Speaker 03 North Denmark.
4:00 Speaker 04 Right.
4:01 Speaker 03 The, um, uh, what, what would it be? It's the Baltic Sea and the North Sea, I think.
4:07 Speaker 04 Is that right?
4:07 Speaker 03 Could've been there twice for some reason. One of the few places in my life I've been twice, apart from the zoo. But it's the, um, I've either couldn't, if you wanna find me, it'll either be at the zoo or it'll be at the place where the Baltic Sea and the North Sea meet.
4:19 Speaker 04 You'll be at the zoo, right?
4:20 Speaker 03 I'll be at the zoo.
4:21 Speaker 04 And then if you go to the zoo and you go, Jesus, he's not here, he'll be where the seas meet.
4:27 Speaker 03 Exactly, exactly.
4:29 Speaker 04 Ninety nine point nine percent of the time he'll be at the zoo. If he's not there, he's where the Baltic meets the North Sea.
4:34 Speaker 03 Check both.
4:35 Speaker 04 Do, yeah.
4:36 Speaker 03 Before you go ringing.
4:37 Speaker 04 Do check the zoo first.
4:39 Speaker 03 The zoo first. But before you go reporting me missing, check the zoo, check what the zoo.
4:44 Speaker 04 What happens when boats go to that bit? Do they just sort of go, oh, we wanna go this way, but.
4:48 Speaker 03 I don't really know. Um. Yeah, I I I suppose they sort of power through or something. But it does remind me a little bit of the rapids ride I got stuck in as a kid. I must be fished out.
5:02 Speaker 04 What? You've never told me this.
5:03 Speaker 03 Well, it was a traumatic experience. It was mostly traumatic because I was a bit too old really to be rescued from a swimming pool. Uh but I went to the rapids ride at Colchester World of Adventures in the water or something.
5:13 Speaker 04 Chester?
5:14 Speaker 03 Colchester, Colchester.
5:16 Speaker 04 Colchester World of Adventures?
5:18 Speaker 03 No, when it was a swimming pool.
5:19 Speaker 04 Right.
5:20 Speaker 03 Le- Leisure World.
5:21 Speaker 04 Colchester? No, hang on. World of Adventures. Chesington.
5:24 Speaker 03 That's Chesington. It wasn't that. No, this was a swimming, look, it's a minis.
5:26 Speaker 04 If there was a Colchester World of Adventures, I'd be, if I was Che- Chesington's lawyers, I'd be going, hang on.
5:34 Speaker 03 Had to be fished out of there.
5:35 Speaker 04 Yeah, well, they do just get you a big stick.
5:37 Speaker 03 It was really embarrassing. I was just going, help, help. And also I was relatively old.
5:44 Speaker 04 I can imagine you would go route one.
5:46 Speaker 03 I was like, um, just get me out.
5:47 Speaker 04 I'm in trouble. I need help. What should I shout right now?
5:50 Speaker 03 Help.
5:51 Speaker 04 I think I'd go with hello.
5:54 Speaker 04 I don't know why. I'd go, hello? Hello?
5:57 Speaker 03 All right.
5:59 Speaker 04 I'm stuck.
6:00 Speaker 03 Hi.
6:00 Speaker 04 Hello, I'm stuck.
6:02 Speaker 03 Hello, I'm stuck. Yeah.
6:03 Speaker 04 Help.
6:04 Speaker 03 Um.
6:06 Speaker 04 Help.
6:07 Speaker 03 Yeah, I was just saying help. Help, help. Um.
6:11 Speaker 04 Penelope Pitstop.
6:12 Speaker 03 What's that?
6:13 Speaker 04 Oh, she just said help a lot. I'm sure she did.
6:17 Speaker 03 Who's Penelope Pitstop?
6:18 Speaker 04 Oh, shut up, Joe.
6:19 Speaker 03 I don't know. Is she in Potent Powers?
6:21 Speaker 04 She was in Wacky Races.
6:22 Speaker 03 Oh, okay. I don't, I never really understood Wacky Races. Is it, was it always the same episode? Like, they have a race?
6:29 Speaker 04 Here we go. So let me tell you something about Wacky Races.
6:31 Speaker 03 Yeah.
6:32 Speaker 04 Um, I used to watch Wacky Wacky Races a lot as a kid. I used, I used to like Wacky Wacky Races. That was one of the ones I looked forward to. Obviously, they, they made them in like the sixties or something.
6:42 Speaker 03 Hmm.
6:42 Speaker 04 I think they made ten episodes.
6:45 Speaker 03 Yeah.
6:46 Speaker 04 And they just replayed that for the next fifty years.
6:48 Speaker 03 Yeah. Because it is just quite limited as an idea, like you can't have any character progression.
6:54 Speaker 04 Where can you go, yeah.
6:54 Speaker 03 They can't even talk to each other, they're just all in cars.
6:56 Speaker 04 Yeah, and I think Catch the Pigeon came before Wacky Races or Stop the Pigeon. What was it called?
7:04 Speaker 03 Again.
7:05 Speaker 04 Catch the pigeon, catch the pigeon.
7:08 Speaker 03 These are like Looney Tunes.
7:10 Speaker 04 You know Mutley and Dick Dastardly?
7:12 Speaker 03 I know them, yeah.
7:12 Speaker 04 Hanna Barbera.
7:13 Speaker 03 Hanna, yeah.
7:14 Speaker 04 What was you doing?
7:15 Speaker 03 I don't know, I did, they were on, I just, I.
7:18 Speaker 04 You just write nonsense.
7:20 Speaker 03 No, what I didn't know.
7:22 Speaker 04 Nonsense mother.
7:22 Speaker 03 No, I liked, I liked.
7:24 Speaker 04 It was like a toddler drinking coffee, just going, get this off the television.
7:27 Speaker 03 No, I liked, I, I think some of them I found a bit scary. I never liked Scooby Doo. I didn't like Scooby Doo.
7:35 Speaker 04 I always thought it was boring.
7:37 Speaker 03 I couldn't, you know what I didn't like Scooby Doo is I couldn't work out whether they were good or bad. I wanted moral clarity. The idea that they were cowards. I was like, well, am I supposed to be rooting for them or not? They just seem like they're a bunch of losers. Like, I. I was honestly, I, I was honestly like a young Trump, being like, why would I root for losers? I like people who win.
7:56 Speaker 04 Right.
7:57 Speaker 03 That was genuinely my opinion, Scooby Doo. I was like, well, they're just a bunch of wasters.
8:02 Speaker 03 Maybe they deserve to get caught in the haunted mansion.
8:04 Speaker 04 Yeah, and stoners.
8:05 Speaker 03 Stoners, I was really, I was like, they're just stone, like, I was like.
8:07 Speaker 04 Always want a Scooby snack, always got the monkeys.
8:09 Speaker 03 Yeah, they was running away.
8:11 Speaker 04 And their, and their legs run like windmills, which was weird.
8:15 Speaker 03 Yeah.
8:16 Speaker 04 And the background was always the same, constantly.
8:20 Speaker 03 Exactly.
8:20 Speaker 04 They run away from somewhere, you seen, you see the same grandfather clock whizzing past four or five times.
8:26 Speaker 03 Yeah. No, but I wanted moral clarity. I was like, you know, the cat's bad, the, the mouse is good.
8:32 Speaker 04 Scooby Doo and.
8:33 Speaker 03 And they were actually, I mean, Scooby Doo is a more sophisticated programme because actually they are more like, this is why people like villains, right? The reason no one like, everyone always, you know, prefers, I know in the end Snape is good. But like, basically villainous characters are more like people. Villains are like selfish.
8:57 Speaker 03 Secret keeping cowards.
9:00 Speaker 04 Right.
9:00 Speaker 03 That's what a human being is like. That's the description of a human being. Hero, no one's like a hero. No one's like. Oh, the outside matches the inside. Uh, they're just brave and they're selfless. I can't think of a single person who matches that description, who's a human.
9:15 Speaker 04 What you're saying is that, uh, human beings are complicated.
9:18 Speaker 03 They're complicated.
9:19 Speaker 04 Complicated personalities.
9:20 Speaker 03 Exactly, and villains are complicated, whereas heroes.
9:22 Speaker 04 Is this what you were saying when you were seven years old?
9:24 Speaker 03 No, this is what should have been. No, this is, this is what I wasn't saying. I was like, I'm good and I could not watch. Yeah, Scooby, yeah, yeah, I, I am. No, that I, I am, that's why. Now, now as an adult, I can see that Scooby Doo is, and actually, if you look at the.
9:39 Speaker 04 Scrappy Doo used to annoy me as well, when he turned up at some point.
9:42 Speaker 03 I know, yeah.
9:43 Speaker 04 Uh, I don't know why they were like, oh, we need to write in a fresh character here.
9:48 Speaker 03 Yeah.
9:49 Speaker 04 Probably because every fucking story is the same.
9:51 Speaker 03 Yeah.
9:51 Speaker 04 So we better get some fresh blood in. Oh, what about a little, um, nephew? Who's a wise talking New York puppy? That talks fine, by the way. He talks fine. And his uncle, who's older than him, is like, oh, hello.
10:09 Speaker 03 Yeah.
10:10 Speaker 04 What are you doing there, Uncle Scoob?
10:14 Speaker 03 Yeah, he barely talks more than an actual dog talks. Like, dogs can almost talk.
10:21 Speaker 03 Do you know what I mean?
10:21 Speaker 04 Well, compared to Scooby Doo, yeah.
10:23 Speaker 03 Yeah, I, no, I didn't, I didn't understand it, but, but, but then on the other hand, actually, the ones I did like, it was. They're far more vicious. I mean, like, this, this poor coyote, who's really just trying to, you know, eat.
10:36 Speaker 04 Hmm.
10:36 Speaker 03 He's getting like rocks dropped on him and stuff and like.
10:39 Speaker 04 I always found that really frustrating. I didn't get any joy from the Road Runner cartoon.
10:44 Speaker 03 I think you're a better person than me. I liked all that. I liked, I liked knowing who was gonna win, and I liked that it was a goodie, and then I liked that the bad, he was punished.
10:52 Speaker 04 Why was, why was the coy, why was Wile E. Coy, Wile E. Coyote bad?
10:56 Speaker 03 Uh, well.
10:57 Speaker 04 Will I Am got his idea for his.
11:00 Speaker 03 Yeah, I, well, yeah, it is a little bit like that, isn't it? Yeah. Well, yeah, if there was a Yam who was called like, will I?
11:07 Speaker 04 Yam.
11:08 Speaker 03 Yam. I was trying to think, I mean, I was trying to think of a character who would be called.
11:14 Speaker 04 I liked Ren and Stimpy. There was no, there was, there was no, um, there was no one to root for in that thing.
11:22 Speaker 03 That was so gross, Ren. They were such horrible.
11:26 Speaker 04 My kids love it. My kids love Ren and Stimpy.
11:27 Speaker 03 Was Beavis and Butthead actually really good? And actually.
11:30 Speaker 04 Never watched Beavis and Butthead.
11:32 Speaker 03 I feel like it might have been good, but at the time I didn't really know.
11:36 Speaker 04 Never really watched Beavis and Butthead, never really watched Daria. All that sort of, um, it all just felt like it was all involved in, um, like Nirvana and, and Grunge. It was all just sort of a part of that.
11:52 Speaker 03 All quite stonery.
11:53 Speaker 04 Yeah.
11:54 Speaker 03 I've never really taken to like adult cartoons.
11:58 Speaker 04 We've been through this.
11:59 Speaker 03 Yeah. But I, I think I realised what it was the other day. It's that they're bending over backwards to be like, yeah, but we're really dark. We're really dark though. Don't be fooled. Don't be fooled though. It was really dark. And it's like, yeah, I'm just, I'm bored of you having to put like skulls and blood and like shit into everything. I just, I don't need that. An adult, adult sense of humour isn't like bending over backwards to be like, oh, disgusting, I'm dying, it's all about death. It's just, it's just, it's just nuance. That's what adult humour is. And actually, I feel like there's, because it's a cartoon and they want to show it's not a children's cartoon.
12:29 Speaker 04 Yeah.
12:29 Speaker 03 They're under pressure to really, really signal the sign. Yeah, don't, don't be fooled though. Don't be fooled.
12:34 Speaker 04 I don't think that's true.
12:35 Speaker 03 I think it's true.
12:35 Speaker 04 I really don't.
12:36 Speaker 03 I still think it's true. Well, that's still the impression I get. And as a result, the, the, the cartoons I basically like are actually ones that are sort of almost not for children, but children. I, I like The Simpsons, I think. And I obviously like Bluey. I mean, Bluey is literally for children, but.
12:48 Speaker 04 But I think, I think.
12:49 Speaker 03 Cause they're not having to be like, don't be fooled though. Don't be fooled by the cartoon.
12:52 Speaker 04 No, I don't think that, I don't think they have that attitude. I think they go, we ca, I think there's a trick where you can go, we can get away with a lot more because it looks like a cartoon. So it sort of tricks you into, and the, and the writers of those shows can go, we can say, we can say jokes and stuff that you would never be able to, and do things that you'd never be able to do on a live action sitcom or something like that. We can go to places. You guys, don't poo poo the adult cartoon.
13:19 Speaker 03 I'm not poo pooing them, I'm just saying that I think there was.
13:22 Speaker 04 As somebody that enjoys comedy, there's lots.
13:24 Speaker 03 No, I know, you listen.
13:25 Speaker 04 South Park's one of the greatest comedies ever made.
13:26 Speaker 03 I know, I realise that now, I do realise that now. When South Park first came out, everyone at my school was like, Kenny dies every week. It's really dark, it's right up my street. Kenny dies, I have a very dark sense of humour, Kenny dies every week. And I was like, oh, whatever, like, yeah, fine, you've you've got a cartoon character and you've killed it and you've chopped his head off and like, isn't that dark?
13:45 Speaker 04 There are some, there are some things that you think objectively, I might like this. But the person that's telling me about this has annoyed me so much that I don't want to have anything to do with it anymore.
13:56 Speaker 03 Yeah, I know. There are certain comedians where it's like.
14:00 Speaker 04 There's like great.
14:00 Speaker 03 They're good, but their fanbase is.
14:03 Speaker 04 Too annoying to get involved in.
14:03 Speaker 03 A bit too self satisfied.
14:05 Speaker 04 I am.
14:06 Speaker 03 And their fanbase is all going, this is the kind of stuff I'd say. You're like, well, no, it's not, because then you'd be a famous stand up comedian.
14:10 Speaker 04 Yeah, I am.
14:12 Speaker 03 It's kind of stuff you listen to.
14:13 Speaker 04 I like, like, so I like video games, I'm a big video gamer and stuff, but there's loads of really great classic games that I've never played. Because they've been ruined for me.
14:23 Speaker 03 Yeah.
14:23 Speaker 04 Because I just had to spend a whole weekend watching my mate play it in his.
14:28 Speaker 03 Oh god, oh my god.
14:29 Speaker 04 In his bedroom.
14:30 Speaker 03 I just.
14:31 Speaker 04 I've never, I've never completed Tomb Raider.
14:35 Speaker 04 I've never like, I've played it a little bit and stuff, but I could never really get into it because I was just so bored.
14:40 Speaker 03 What's amazing about the kind of, you know, Twitch and, you know, that kind of stuff, is it called Twitch?
14:47 Speaker 04 Yeah.
14:48 Speaker 03 Is that there was nothing more boring as a child than watching someone else play a computer game. It was a little, honestly, it was a bit like watching someone else wank. It was genuine, like, it was honestly like, this is something that you should be doing on your own.
15:02 Speaker 04 Yeah.
15:03 Speaker 03 Why am I here?
15:04 Speaker 04 Oh, like.
15:04 Speaker 03 Why am I here?
15:05 Speaker 04 I thought we were gonna go and play football.
15:07 Speaker 03 Yeah.
15:08 Speaker 04 Or can I have a go?
15:10 Speaker 03 Yeah.
15:10 Speaker 04 But even then, I don't, even then it's like, no, but it's not that, it's like, oh, so now I'm just doing the thing that I should be doing on my own and you're here. But I'm doing it in someone else's house. So, yeah, one player games as a kid.
15:22 Speaker 03 Yeah.
15:22 Speaker 04 Aye.
15:23 Speaker 03 There was an amazing bit where I managed to get my girlfriend at school into the game that I was playing.
15:30 Speaker 04 Right.
15:30 Speaker 03 And it was called, um, Caesar three, and you built a Roman city.
15:33 Speaker 04 You were always talking about Caesar three.
15:34 Speaker 03 And there was a one bit, there was one bit where, um.
15:38 Speaker 04 Build fires and stuff, didn't you?
15:39 Speaker 03 I won a great battle and she was watching and she was like really impressed. And there's a.
15:47 Speaker 04 Did you get a little something, something?
15:48 Speaker 03 I don't know whether I did. No, I don't think I was at my parents' house. I wouldn't have been. It wasn't possible. But um, there was a bit where the battle was going badly and all the kind of, all the war elephants were coming in. And she was going, oh, this is the worst day of my life. She's really into it. And then I turned it around. I built a load of towers and.
16:06 Speaker 04 Right.
16:07 Speaker 03 I won the battle. I think she was quite proud of me on that.
16:09 Speaker 04 Yeah.
16:11 Speaker 03 That was, that was really good. I was like, this is the, I think this is the thing I've done that's most impressed her.
16:16 Speaker 04 Yeah.
16:17 Speaker 03 Brilliant. I was like, I've had, I'm not, I remember thinking, I am nailing this. This is amazing. I've managed to get my government to watch me play. A, a, a game that's already, not even exciting, you, a boring game, like a city building game.
16:29 Speaker 04 I would, um, I'd love to take the piss out of you right now, Joe, but I just suddenly had a thought. That I don't think I've ever impressed a woman, ever, in my life.
16:39 Speaker 03 It hasn't happened since.
16:40 Speaker 04 Right. That was it.
16:41 Speaker 03 It was just that, it was that one. And she got confused. I wasn't really a Roman general. I was, but I think for a moment she was like, I think he, is he? And then it would have burst. She was like, what was I thinking?
16:52 Speaker 04 Oh, my liege.
16:53 Speaker 03 Yeah, exactly. Yeah, she would give me a wreath or.
16:56 Speaker 04 Yeah.
16:57 Speaker 03 Yeah, but um.
16:58 Speaker 04 What news have you from the West?
17:00 Speaker 03 Yeah, yeah.
17:03 Speaker 03 Yeah, so, no.
17:04 Speaker 04 Never worry about the West. It's the South that needs your attention, my lord. You should say stuff like that, too.
17:10 Speaker 03 Yeah, no, I see. Yeah. Um, vanquish my walls.
17:21 Speaker 04 The peasants are crying out. They need an air.
17:24 Speaker 03 What?
17:27 Speaker 03 That's right.
17:30 Speaker 04 Christ.
17:33 Speaker 04 Is that the theme song?
17:34 Speaker 03 That's the theme song of Gladiator.
17:36 Speaker 04 Oh, is that right?
17:37 Speaker 03 Or the Gladiator.
17:44 Speaker 03 Joe and James, Joe and James.
17:45 Speaker 05 Joe and James, Joe and James, Fact Up!
17:52 Speaker 05 1965, London. The world's largest uncut diamond has been stolen from the Natural History Museum.
18:01 Speaker 05 Shortly after, a young London window cleaner is arrested. They said you're nicked, you're in a lot of trouble. But was he set up? Wanted addled to a fall of two cops. His family say he is guilty, but of a totally different crime. You're not going to end up going to prison, are you, kidlet? I'm Jaycee Long and this is Rough Diamond. Listen now wherever you get your podcasts.
18:27 Speaker 03 So, this is a bit of a big deal, actually. This is an episode where...
18:34 Speaker 04 What are you doing? There's a scripted intro.
18:37 Speaker 03 Sorry, I just wanted to make sure that you knew what was... Why wouldn't you? You've got the same script as me.
18:43 Speaker 04 Yeah. Don't go... We'll get to everything when we get to it, Joseph.
18:48 Speaker 03 All right, okay, fine.
18:49 Speaker 04 Okay, welcome to Joe and James Fact Up, where each week we'll be bringing facts to one another that we deem interesting, and our policy is the more interesting, the more true it must be.
19:00 Speaker 04 We'll also dig into the weird things that you'd like to think are true but don't want to research yourself in a segment that we call Fact Check. So, we need you to send in your facts.
19:08 Speaker 03 Send in your facts?
19:09 Speaker 04 We need you to send in your facts. Email us.
19:12 Speaker 03 See if anyone can float our boat.
19:14 Speaker 04 Our email is [email protected] . Our WhatsApp is 07822034330, and you can follow us on our socials at @joandjamespod. Also, you can watch our episodes in full on YouTube and Apple Podcasts. Just search for Joe and James Fact Up. Now, let's get fact up!
19:38 Speaker 04 Right, here we go. This is it.
19:40 Speaker 03 Yeah, this is where I thought we-
19:41 Speaker 04 This is what we've all been waiting for. This is, um-
19:44 Speaker 03 This is where I thought we were before in this one, that's why I was-
19:47 Speaker 04 No, no, we've got to do the little intro first, but this is, um, oof.
19:51 Speaker 03 This is pretty big.
19:52 Speaker 04 I'm excited, I am excited.
19:54 Speaker 03 This is-
19:55 Speaker 04 Um, it's the, after five weeks of painstaking decisions, today, we will crown the winner of the inaugural World Up.
20:45 Speaker 04 How exciting is that? And, um, we, this, the tournament's been a huge success. We've made so much money from it.
20:53 Speaker 03 Oh my god.
20:54 Speaker 04 All the merchandise, all the, um, ad space.
20:57 Speaker 03 I hope that doesn't take away from the purity of it, uh, but-
21:02 Speaker 04 That was all, I thought that was all it was supposed to be.
21:05 Speaker 03 Yeah, it was, it was set up to make money and, um-
21:06 Speaker 04 I thought it was just a big commercial.
21:08 Speaker 03 Yeah, it is, yeah, and, um, yeah, we're gonna introduce hydration breaks, uh, for the next one.
21:13 Speaker 04 Yeah, oh yeah.
21:15 Speaker 03 We'll stop reading out the facts, just to do an advert.
21:19 Speaker 04 And also, by the way, if, you know, I'm surprised we haven't, um, sort of blurred out our background and stuff as well, because I don't want any other brands-
21:28 Speaker 03 No.
21:29 Speaker 04 Uh, get, if they haven't paid-
21:31 Speaker 03 Yeah.
21:32 Speaker 04 They shouldn't be.
21:33 Speaker 03 Well, no, exactly, yeah, they, they, well, yeah, don't, these people haven't paid.
21:38 Speaker 04 What do you think we do the World Up for? For other people to make money?
21:42 Speaker 03 Yeah, it's-
21:43 Speaker 04 No, not at all.
21:44 Speaker 03 This isn't about giving anything to the world at all.
21:47 Speaker 04 No.
21:48 Speaker 03 This is about trying to create a structure where there's an elite. It's really about status. Ultimately, it's about status. This is about saying there are some people in the world who are important.
21:58 Speaker 04 Mm hmm.
21:58 Speaker 03 And there are other people in the world whose job is to give tribute to the important people.
22:01 Speaker 04 Absolutely, that's why.
22:03 Speaker 03 And the more we can make the world resemble a pyramid with just a very, very small group of people at the top. Uh, that, that's, that's a better world. That's the kind of world we all want to live in.
22:12 Speaker 04 Yeah. Well, that's why, you know, uh, for the, for the crowds and the audiences during the World Up, we've certainly made sure that.
22:18 Speaker 03 Yeah.
22:18 Speaker 04 Uh, ninety nine percent of, of, of seating and stuff goes to.
22:22 Speaker 03 Yeah.
22:23 Speaker 04 People who we like.
22:24 Speaker 03 Yeah.
22:24 Speaker 04 People who have, um, paid us money.
22:26 Speaker 03 Very, very well. And the thing about the world is that if there are people who have got a lot of money, it's because they're better.
22:30 Speaker 04 Yes.
22:30 Speaker 03 Better people.
22:31 Speaker 04 Absolutely.
22:31 Speaker 03 And if poor people get in their way.
22:33 Speaker 04 Hmm.
22:34 Speaker 03 Then, then the rich person should be completely free to say, get out of my way, you worthless piece of excrement. And then the, the poor loser should say, I'm so, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.
22:46 Speaker 04 Hang on, Joe.
22:46 Speaker 03 Please forgive me. And the rich person can say, I might.
22:49 Speaker 04 The poor.
22:49 Speaker 03 I might.
22:50 Speaker 04 But the poor loser does also, because we've got, um, one percent of tickets allocated to those.
22:54 Speaker 03 Yeah, they can go to them and, yeah.
22:56 Speaker 04 Unfortunately for them though, there is, there is, there is a big demand and there's only so many. So they do have to pay a fortune.
23:01 Speaker 03 And I don't like the look of some of them.
23:04 Speaker 04 Ooh. We're slagging off FIFA by the way.
23:07 Speaker 03 Yeah.
23:07 Speaker 04 I bet they're trembling now.
23:09 Speaker 03 Yeah.
23:09 Speaker 04 I bet they, I bet they are, do, do, do they want some water for that burn?
23:15 Speaker 03 Hmm.
23:16 Speaker 04 We've destroyed them, I think. I wasn't a hundred percent sure what point we were trying to make halfway through, halfway through.
23:22 Speaker 03 No, we put it round.
23:23 Speaker 04 Um, but so far, Joe, five facts have made it through to the final. Um, some choices have been easier than others and some more convert, con, con, converse for all.
23:36 Speaker 03 Yep. Easy for you to say.
23:38 Speaker 04 Yeah. Some more controversial than others. But five must become one.
23:44 Speaker 03 Tonight is the night.
23:46 Speaker 04 When five become one. I need a fact and I never needed a fact before. Wanna make fact to you, baby. Had a little fact, now I'm back for more. Wanna make fact to you, baby. Said your special fact is the only way to fact. Um, but anyway, we do have the.
24:12 Speaker 03 Good song that. It's a good, it's a good song that. Uh, I think that's a nice song.
24:16 Speaker 04 Um, Joe, it's your bit next.
24:19 Speaker 03 We'll crown a gold, silver and bronze place fact, and we've made these special certi- well, we haven't ca-.
24:24 Speaker 04 Right, okay.
24:25 Speaker 03 We were gonna have certificates, but Lily May's stuck on a train.
24:29 Speaker 04 Because there's cows on the track.
24:30 Speaker 03 There's cows on the track. I mean, you know, I'm not saying that she's.
24:34 Speaker 04 Lily May's got the certificate, she's not.
24:36 Speaker 03 A country bumpkin, but she couldn't get in because of some cows.
24:38 Speaker 04 She's not with us for this episode because her train was stopped by cows on the track.
24:43 Speaker 03 Hmm.
24:44 Speaker 04 Um, we had, we just had news, uh, that just came through where Katie said Lily May's not gonna make it.
24:53 Speaker 03 Um, yes, it was delivered as though, you know, the machine was about to be turned off.
24:57 Speaker 04 Um, so we don't have the, the certificates, but maybe we can, I don't know.
25:02 Speaker 03 Well, I mean.
25:02 Speaker 04 I'd say maybe we could do them another day, but what's the point?
25:06 Speaker 03 We're gonna, so we'll do gold, silver and bronze. I mean, maybe we can do, um, sort of spoken certificates. And then they can write it down at their end.
25:15 Speaker 04 Maybe, maybe.
25:17 Speaker 03 Has anyone got a 3D printer? Like, that'd really help.
25:21 Speaker 04 Or just a printer?
25:22 Speaker 03 Just a print, just a printer, yeah.
25:26 Speaker 04 Don't need a 3D printer.
25:27 Speaker 03 Yeah, just, um, just a regular, just a regular printer.
25:30 Speaker 04 Yeah, exactly. Where, where, what, where have these certificates come from? Cause in my head now, Lily May's on the train, she's got an attaché.
25:41 Speaker 03 Yeah, she's got a briefcase.
25:43 Speaker 04 With these certificates that it's, um, it's been chained to her wrist.
25:48 Speaker 03 Yeah.
25:49 Speaker 04 Cause, could we not?
25:51 Speaker 03 That's probably why she's been detained, because the police have stopped her. She's got this suitcase.
25:55 Speaker 04 No, you've made a really big.
25:56 Speaker 03 What's in there? She says, I can't tell you. Um, and then I, why not? She's like, because it'll ruin the world up. And she's like, you're just talking gobbledygook.
26:03 Speaker 04 Cause I think you have just made a genuinely really amazing point. Do we not have a printer?
26:09 Speaker 03 Um.
26:10 Speaker 04 Could we not just print off some certificates? Right, let's have a, let's try and see if we could do end up with some certificates.
26:19 Speaker 03 Um. This does seem a little bit sort of 19th century, doesn't it? We. Yeah, and.
26:26 Speaker 04 Anyway, so now, now that we know what we're playing for, do we?
26:29 Speaker 03 Gold, silver and bronze.
26:30 Speaker 04 Yes.
26:30 Speaker 03 Um, there, there might be certificates. We'll, it says we'll sign them.
26:34 Speaker 04 Yes.
26:35 Speaker 03 So, um, that, they were not valid till, so don't be printing them off. They're not signed.
26:40 Speaker 04 We'll sign them and the winner will get, uh, we'll get those certificates.
26:44 Speaker 03 The winner, the winner will get.
26:44 Speaker 04 And we're gonna, we're gonna do a little special video, video message, yeah. So, let's review our facts and determine our final three. The five remaining are, from Jacob, uh, which was the classic, Ewan McGregor has a brother in the air force and his call tag is OB2.
27:01 Speaker 03 Which is a pun on OB1.
27:03 Speaker 04 We've got, um, the fact from Donza, who, um, taught us that the Volkswagen's most sold part is actually a sausage. The VW Curry Verst, part number 199, 398500A, and they've sold over eight mil, 8.5 million sausages just in 2024 alone.
27:22 Speaker 03 Yeah.
27:22 Speaker 04 Uh, Adrian told us about, uh, how original raspberry flavouring comes from beaver anal glands. Forgot about that one. Uh, Monty, uh, Monty's fact was that a day in, on Venus is longer than a year on Venus. And Zach, um, said that almost all animals have seven neck bones.
27:44 Speaker 03 Almost all mammals.
27:45 Speaker 04 Sorry, did I say animals?
27:47 Speaker 03 You said animals, but it does say mammals, but I don't, I don't think it matters.
27:50 Speaker 04 Almost all mammals have seven neck bones, which is the leading theory behind us evolving from the same common ancestor. Um, so for example, whales, giraffes, mice and humans, despite being wildly different sizes, still maintain the same number of neck bones.
28:03 Speaker 03 Yeah.
28:04 Speaker 04 Good facts.
28:05 Speaker 03 Yeah.
28:06 Speaker 04 Good facts. Any of, any of them jumping out? Any of them?
28:12 Speaker 03 Have any of them declined in?
28:14 Speaker 04 Have any of them?
28:15 Speaker 03 Let's not start with that.
28:16 Speaker 04 No, I think, yeah, I think maybe we should, we should cut the wheat from the chaff, Joe.
28:20 Speaker 03 Well, the ones that.
28:23 Speaker 03 Well, what we've got here is we've got some criteria about different social settings.
28:28 Speaker 04 Yes, these are the things that we we can use to help us make our decisions.
28:33 Speaker 03 So we've got different places you might wanna say a fact. So, um, for example, pub drop. Now, this is, you blurt it out to anyone.
28:44 Speaker 03 I'm not sure that's a description of a pub necessarily, but um.
28:46 Speaker 04 No, but you can blurt your fact out to anyone in the pub situation.
28:50 Speaker 03 Oh, okay.
28:51 Speaker 04 You get an instant crowd reaction, no context needed.
28:54 Speaker 03 Okay.
28:54 Speaker 04 It's just a good fact. You're in the pub. Yeah, have you heard this?
28:58 Speaker 03 Yeah.
28:58 Speaker 04 Da da da da da. And they go, fuck me.
29:00 Speaker 03 Yeah, yeah.
29:02 Speaker 04 Um, you've got the dinner party flex, a bit more sophisticated. So it needs to sort of, you need the right audience. It needs to be a sort of well-read type fact.
29:11 Speaker 03 Yeah, okay.
29:12 Speaker 04 And they go, oh, God, that's very interesting.
29:14 Speaker 03 Yeah, yeah. So they have to, so they'd have to know about, so for example, with the Venus one, they'd have to know about planets.
29:22 Speaker 04 Hmm.
29:23 Speaker 03 If you say that in the pub, they might be like, oh, what's a planet? Is that a, is that a beer and so on?
29:30 Speaker 04 You've got, uh, the work icebreaker, safe but surprisingly interesting.
29:35 Speaker 03 Okay, safe.
29:36 Speaker 04 Breaks the ice without alienating anyone, doesn't make anyone feel stupid.
29:39 Speaker 03 Okay, exactly.
29:40 Speaker 04 Um, oh, you've got the tell the kids.
29:42 Speaker 03 Yeah.
29:43 Speaker 04 One that you can tell the kids, that's just gonna be fun, memorable, works for all ages.
29:47 Speaker 03 Hmm.
29:48 Speaker 04 Um, needs to be, well, doesn't need to be at all, but is better if they're true. Cause I feel like I was told a load of facts that I've kept with me throughout my whole life as a kid.
29:58 Speaker 03 Yeah, should be.
29:58 Speaker 04 Turns out I've been told a lie.
30:00 Speaker 03 Don't lie to children, cause they'll find out and, you know, they'll be confused.
30:06 Speaker 04 And then first date material.
30:08 Speaker 03 Okay.
30:09 Speaker 04 Now, I'm not sure whether the fact is a good first date.
30:11 Speaker 03 I think facts, uh, maybe not, no, that's when, when, when you start telling your partner facts, that's when they're locked in.
30:21 Speaker 04 Yeah.
30:22 Speaker 03 They're trapped.
30:22 Speaker 04 You save that.
30:23 Speaker 03 And then they can't, then you start it being really boring.
30:27 Speaker 04 Joe, we need to decide the final three. Um, before we, you know, decide on what place they'll finish. So two facts must go before the break and the break's coming up. So what are you, maybe we should do one each.
30:46 Speaker 03 You're gonna knock out one each?
30:47 Speaker 04 Yeah.
30:50 Speaker 03 I'm a bit torn here.
30:55 Speaker 03 But I think.
31:00 Speaker 03 It's hard. They're all good.
31:03 Speaker 04 They are all good, man.
31:06 Speaker 03 They are all good. Now, can I just say, I think the one about the mammals and the one about Venus. Are, they're like the dinner party facts. You you you have to kind of, you have to think a bit. You have to be like, yeah, that is, if you get people to think about evolution.
31:24 Speaker 04 Yeah.
31:25 Speaker 03 You shouldn't be on a first date going, now, listen, you'll get a lot more out of this if you think properly.
31:30 Speaker 04 Yeah.
31:30 Speaker 03 About evolution.
31:34 Speaker 03 And.
31:34 Speaker 04 Not gonna knock a bandy, is it? That kind of check.
31:36 Speaker 03 No, no, I I I mean, I as and I think you're right, that probably think first date, don't put facts in at all, really.
31:44 Speaker 04 No, just talk about.
31:46 Speaker 03 I don't know.
31:46 Speaker 04 The latest Adam Sandler film or something.
31:49 Speaker 03 Exactly. So so what I'm saying, so the Venus and the mammal one, I think both of them, that their weaknesses, they're maybe a little dry.
31:56 Speaker 04 Well, I was, the mammal one was gonna be my suggestion to go out.
32:00 Speaker 03 I think you have to do a little bit too much work in order to, it's not, I'm really not having a go, I'm not saying that we should stop studying other creatures or anything. I'm not saying.
32:09 Speaker 04 No, that's all. This is, this is the world up, mate.
32:11 Speaker 03 I'm not, yeah.
32:12 Speaker 04 At the moment, they're all, they're all finalists, they're all winners.
32:14 Speaker 03 They're all finalists, they're all finalists, and I'm really, I'm genuinely not saying that we should like defund the sciences.
32:19 Speaker 04 They're all.
32:20 Speaker 03 I'm really not saying that.
32:22 Speaker 04 They're all great facts and a fine actor, right?
32:26 Speaker 03 Was affection, maybe Mr. Toad's affectionate. Why, Mr. Toad? There's a face again.
32:31 Speaker 04 Right, um.
32:33 Speaker 03 The Toad is the ugliest of all the amphibians.
32:36 Speaker 04 Right, we got, we can't.
32:37 Speaker 03 Okay, no, no, it's ridiculous, it's ridiculous, okay, um.
32:40 Speaker 04 Um, I I would, I would say the mammal.
32:45 Speaker 04 Al- almost all mammals have seven neck bones. I'm just like, cool.
32:50 Speaker 04 Okay.
32:53 Speaker 03 I think that that is a fact where um you maybe need to meet it halfway a little bit too much. It's not, it's not an absolute.
33:02 Speaker 04 Yeah.
33:03 Speaker 03 Whereas conversely, I feel that with the beaver anal glands one, if you dig away at that, it probably becomes less and less interesting.
33:09 Speaker 04 Yeah.
33:09 Speaker 03 If you actually work in a factory that makes raspberry flavouring.
33:13 Speaker 04 Yeah.
33:14 Speaker 03 You just be like, where are the beaver anal glands? Are those anal glands here yet?
33:17 Speaker 04 Yeah.
33:17 Speaker 03 Here, here, bring them in. You wouldn't even look at them. You wouldn't even be like, yeah, okay, bring them in. You get like.
33:21 Speaker 04 Do you reckon they bring the glands or they just bring the beavers and they just wring them a little bit?
33:25 Speaker 03 Oh, okay.
33:25 Speaker 04 Wring them out.
33:26 Speaker 03 Yeah, I don't know whether the beavers.
33:28 Speaker 04 They're just sort of like a wet sponge.
33:29 Speaker 03 Yeah, and then send them on their way.
33:31 Speaker 04 Send them on their way.
33:31 Speaker 03 Yeah.
33:32 Speaker 04 Um.
33:32 Speaker 03 I mean, I also think it's a bit unfair to them because when children do sign up for beavers, I don't think they're told that their anal glands are going to be harvested in this way. Um. And if you don't have your anal glands harvested, are you allowed to actually graduate to Cubs or not? That's my.
33:45 Speaker 04 Sure.
33:46 Speaker 03 That's my question. And I was in the beavers. I don't remember that day, is all I'm saying.
33:50 Speaker 04 Yeah.
33:50 Speaker 03 But I didn't, I didn't get all the badges, actually. I mean, I'd see, I'd see some of the beavers that have loads of the badges.
33:55 Speaker 04 Didn't get your anal badge?
33:56 Speaker 03 I didn't get my anal gland badge. And my raspberry, it's called, it's called the raspberry flavouring badge. And you're like, oh, God, that'd be a bad day, wouldn't it? Be like, oh, what are you doing today? Oh, Mum, we're doing the raspberry flavouring badge at Beavers today. And you go in and then it's like, oh.
34:08 Speaker 04 So are we on agreement with the mammals one?
34:12 Speaker 03 I think we are, and it requires too much of the, of, of, of, of, of the, of the brain that the fact is in.
34:20 Speaker 04 Yeah. Uh. When I hear that, when I hear almost all mammals have seven neck bones, first of all, the word almost annoys me.
34:29 Speaker 03 Don't be, just all.
34:31 Speaker 04 Secondly, I wanna go, right, and?
34:33 Speaker 03 Yes. Yeah, yeah.
34:36 Speaker 04 So I'm, I'm like, it's a finalist. Don't get me wrong. It's a good fact. It's a great fact. But I just need a, I need a bit more, um, I need a bit more from it.
34:44 Speaker 03 And it almost is a fraud incident. This is the only fact where the entire rest of the fact has been, well, no, to be fair, no, it's not. The others are, didn't provide any extra stuff. It needs this, it needs this blurb afterwards to.
34:57 Speaker 04 I didn't even include that there is a few exceptions in sloth's amenities, but they are considered evolutionary defects as opposed to separate lineage.
35:04 Speaker 03 Hmm, hmm.
35:05 Speaker 04 Boring.
35:08 Speaker 03 Well.
35:10 Speaker 04 I'm being a bit harsh, I'm being a bit Simon Cowell.
35:13 Speaker 03 It's more interesting than it seems.
35:15 Speaker 04 Oh, it's a very interesting fact.
35:16 Speaker 03 But it doesn't immediately.
35:17 Speaker 04 It's a very interesting fact.
35:18 Speaker 03 It doesn't immediately arrest your attention.
35:20 Speaker 04 Okay, let's move on, Joe, we've got to move on.
35:22 Speaker 03 So that one, so we're gonna get rid of that one. We're gonna get rid of that one.
35:25 Speaker 04 Now, the second one, I would like to, and I think you're gonna disagree with me.
35:29 Speaker 03 It better not be the sausage one.
35:30 Speaker 04 No, I need to separate my emotional tie to this fact.
35:36 Speaker 03 You have to.
35:37 Speaker 04 And be a bit more clinical and a bit more objective.
35:40 Speaker 03 Kill your heartlings.
35:41 Speaker 04 And it's, it's the Obi-Two fact.
35:42 Speaker 03 Okay, yeah, okay, fine, I was worried it was sausage.
35:46 Speaker 04 I love the, I love it, I love that, um, Ewan McGregor's brother is in the air force and he's, they call him Obi-Two.
35:52 Speaker 03 Hmm.
35:52 Speaker 04 I absolutely love it. But I do love Star Wars.
35:55 Speaker 03 Yeah.
35:56 Speaker 04 And I don't know whether that's making me a bit impartial.
35:59 Speaker 03 And again, I think it is a little bit too much, like, he's created the fact, we had this discussion on the day. We kind of thought, it's a bit like someone who's sort of changed their name to something and they're like, oh, you won't believe what my name is. And it's like, well, you, you created that.
36:15 Speaker 04 If he was, if it was his name, that would be incredible.
36:18 Speaker 03 If he'd been.
36:19 Speaker 04 If it was just, if it was just by some coincidence.
36:21 Speaker 03 Yeah.
36:22 Speaker 04 That Ewan McGregor's brother's actual name.
36:24 Speaker 03 Yeah.
36:25 Speaker 04 Was Obi-Two.
36:27 Speaker 03 If he was christened Obi-Two.
36:29 Speaker 04 Yeah. Years before Ewan McGregor.
36:32 Speaker 03 Years before, yeah, I mean, that would, that would be remarkable.
36:35 Speaker 04 Yeah. Unfortunately, that's not the case.
36:38 Speaker 03 But it's not true, he's, he's.
36:39 Speaker 04 So are we locking those in, Joe?
36:41 Speaker 03 I think we are, and you know what? I think we've been incredibly rigorous.
36:46 Speaker 04 We've taken this really seriously.
36:47 Speaker 03 Yeah, I, I, um.
36:49 Speaker 04 A lot of this chat's gonna get cut out because it's really boring.
36:52 Speaker 03 It's been, some of it's been a bit boring, but, so, yeah, we're.
36:54 Speaker 04 But yeah, we just appreciate how important it is, and also we do very much appreciate everyone that sent in their facts for this silly nonsense thing that we're doing. Um, so we just want to make sure that we get this right.
37:05 Speaker 03 We really do appreciate it. We're very grateful that anyone really in chats with this show on any level at all.
37:10 Speaker 04 So.
37:11 Speaker 03 Or just with me on any level at all.
37:12 Speaker 04 So, here we go, uh, it's, so, well done, but unfortunately, Zach and his mammals fact, and Jacob, uh, and his Obi-Two are eliminated. Goodbye. Let's have a break, and then we'll find out who the winner is.
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38:00 Speaker 01 Sponsored by Chumba Casino. No purchase necessary. VGW Group. Void where prohibited by law. 21+, terms and conditions apply. Hello, this is Susie Ruffel.
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38:40 Speaker 04 Welcome back. We've just had word from Lily May, who's stuck on a train at the moment because there are cows on the track.
38:48 Speaker 03 It's like fucking some blooper live broadcast or something. She's stuck on a train in Wolverhampton.
38:55 Speaker 04 They are apparently very good quality certificates. And she doesn't want us just printing something out of the printer. So she'll be bringing, we'll get good quality certificates.
39:09 Speaker 03 What, are they like banknotes or something? They've got like a hologram and... They're bonds, yeah, they're government.
39:15 Speaker 04 Right, so.
39:16 Speaker 03 Oh, God.
39:17 Speaker 04 Here we go, Joe. We've got, this is it, man. We've got our final three. Now we need to decide bronze, silver and gold. So let's just quickly go back over them. The Volkswagen sausage.
39:30 Speaker 03 It's a favourite of mine.
39:31 Speaker 04 Good. Raspberry flavouring comes from Beaver. Anal glands.
39:37 Speaker 03 Is good. It's, um...
39:42 Speaker 03 It it's also, as I say, it's quite, um, for sale, baby shoes never worn. It's quite, it's almost a poem.
39:51 Speaker 04 And yeah.
39:53 Speaker 03 It's like a fucking Bukowski, like badass.
39:56 Speaker 04 And then we've got.
39:56 Speaker 03 Like, I met, I'm, I I meet a woman, I tell her, original raspberry flavouring comes from beaver anal glands. She walks out the door, I buy another six pack. That'd be like a Bukowski poem.
40:08 Speaker 04 Right, I don't know who that is.
40:09 Speaker 03 He was, um.
40:10 Speaker 04 It doesn't matter.
40:11 Speaker 03 He was very drunk, um, maybe, I don't know if he's a beat poet, but he's a good, I would recommend Bukowski.
40:16 Speaker 04 Okay.
40:16 Speaker 03 If you, uh, particularly, um, oh god, you get so alone at times, it just makes sense. This is a really good compilation of Bukowski poems.
40:26 Speaker 04 All right, well, I'll check it out after this. Right, let's keep it exciting.
40:31 Speaker 03 Well, you're saying that is taking away the pace of it.
40:33 Speaker 04 A little bit, yeah.
40:34 Speaker 03 Fine.
40:35 Speaker 04 A lot like Lily May, you are the cows of on this train journey.
40:40 Speaker 03 Is to still be talking when Lily May, I'm trying to move more slowly than like masticating cows.
40:45 Speaker 04 Right.
40:46 Speaker 03 That's what I'm trying to do.
40:47 Speaker 04 Um, and then.
40:47 Speaker 03 Trying to move slowly in the cow's stomach.
40:49 Speaker 04 Now, I've forgotten what fucking facts we've got.
40:52 Speaker 03 You've just done the anal glands one.
40:53 Speaker 04 We've got sausage, we've got beavers, anal glands make raspberry, raspberries.
40:56 Speaker 03 Raspberry.
40:59 Speaker 04 And we got a day, and we got Monty's fact, a day on Venus is is longer than a year on Venus.
41:03 Speaker 03 I like, I've got some spot for that. Yeah, I've got, I mean, I'm the trouble is.
41:07 Speaker 04 Really great.
41:07 Speaker 03 I mean, it, yeah.
41:10 Speaker 04 I tell you what we should do.
41:11 Speaker 03 Yeah.
41:11 Speaker 04 I tell you what we should do. There's, one of these gets one point, one of these gets two points, one of these gets three points.
41:18 Speaker 03 Okay.
41:18 Speaker 04 And let's write it down on our phone now.
41:20 Speaker 03 This is amazing, because not only are we actually fixing democracy as well.
41:23 Speaker 04 And we, and then whoever's got the most points.
41:25 Speaker 03 So one of them gets one, one of them gets two, one of them gets three.
41:27 Speaker 04 Yes, yeah, so, well, right, right, right.
41:32 Speaker 03 I've, I've already got them.
41:33 Speaker 04 You've got them. I, I need to write, I can't, I don't have.
41:35 Speaker 03 Done them in my head.
41:36 Speaker 04 I don't have that thing in your head that makes you be able to do that.
41:39 Speaker 03 What it is.
41:40 Speaker 04 The brain.
41:42 Speaker 03 It's, um, it's working at maximum capacity at the moment.
41:46 Speaker 04 It really is.
41:49 Speaker 03 Okay, I think I've done it.
41:50 Speaker 04 Okay, go. Who has got one point for you?
41:53 Speaker 03 Venus.
41:55 Speaker 04 Venus has got two points for me.
41:57 Speaker 03 Okay, so it's got three altogether.
41:58 Speaker 04 So Venus has three.
42:02 Speaker 04 Now, who's got two points?
42:04 Speaker 03 Beaver.
42:06 Speaker 04 I've put anus.
42:08 Speaker 03 Okay, so does it, does he still get the points?
42:10 Speaker 04 Anus has got three points for me.
42:12 Speaker 03 So that's five.
42:12 Speaker 04 So that's five.
42:16 Speaker 04 And sausage gets three points from you, right?
42:19 Speaker 03 Yes.
42:20 Speaker 04 Sausage gets one point from me.
42:21 Speaker 03 Okay.
42:22 Speaker 04 So that's four.
42:23 Speaker 03 That's that then.
42:24 Speaker 04 I think that's pretty fair.
42:26 Speaker 03 Yeah, it's pretty fair.
42:27 Speaker 04 And especially as my guy wins.
42:30 Speaker 03 I think we maybe had a feeling that one would win. There's something, there's some, it's got such swagger.
42:35 Speaker 04 Juvenile.
42:38 Speaker 03 Exactly.
42:38 Speaker 04 It's, it's, it's got the word, it's got anuses in it.
42:41 Speaker 03 It's got anus.
42:43 Speaker 04 Raspberry's.
42:44 Speaker 03 It's got raspberry, it's got beaver.
42:45 Speaker 04 Beaver, I mean, all funny, all funny.
42:47 Speaker 03 Almost every word is funny. gland is funny.
42:50 Speaker 04 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
42:54 Speaker 03 Yeah. It's, it might as well have said like, original bum juice comes from monkey testicle brain.
43:01 Speaker 03 It's like, it's just every word. It's really good. Um. Yeah, I'm, I think I'm happy for that to win.
43:10 Speaker 04 I think it's a good, and listen, we'll be doing this again.
43:12 Speaker 03 We're doing it again. I mean, look, this is, people will look back and be like, this would be like when Sweden got to the final. Oh God, can't believe it.
43:19 Speaker 04 Yeah. So, we've got it, we did, let's officially.
43:23 Speaker 03 Right.
43:24 Speaker 04 Now, coming in, in third place is Venus.
43:28 Speaker 03 Okay.
43:29 Speaker 04 In second place is VW Sausage. And the winner.
43:35 Speaker 03 Yep.
43:35 Speaker 04 Of the World Up 2026.
43:40 Speaker 04 Goes to, what's his name?
43:42 Speaker 03 Adrian.
43:44 Speaker 04 Adrian.
43:45 Speaker 03 Adrian Mo.
43:46 Speaker 04 With his fact that raspberry flavouring comes from beaver anal glands. Now, the only thing is about this, Joe, is we haven't checked whether any of these are true or not.
44:00 Speaker 03 There's a.
44:00 Speaker 04 Yeah, they are checked. No, we did. I'm sure Queen Lily May did at some point.
44:05 Speaker 03 Well, um.
44:09 Speaker 03 It's too late now, it's, you know, it's happened, it's, and don't be going through the courts or anything, it's happened, just fuck it, it's fucking happened, alright?
44:16 Speaker 04 Have we got any, have we got like confetti or any, have we, we haven't even got any certificates? Um, but, uh, yeah, so that's.
44:24 Speaker 03 Well, but well done Adrian, um, and, and well done to everyone who entered.
44:29 Speaker 04 Yeah, we did this for six weeks and this is, this is how it ends.
44:32 Speaker 03 And above all, above all, um, I just had to say, this has, um, meant that we haven't had to research and have our own facts for the weeks that we've been doing this. And it's gonna be really irritating having to go back and start doing work for this show. It's not why I started doing the show. I promised I'd have to do nothing, nothing.
44:51 Speaker 04 Yeah.
44:51 Speaker 03 And then, then I find out that there's a script I'm supposed to read before I come in. How am I supposed to find the time to do that? I'm incredibly busy.
44:58 Speaker 04 I know, you're always at the zoo.
44:59 Speaker 03 I've got the zoo to go to.
45:00 Speaker 04 Yeah.
45:00 Speaker 03 The, the, the nor, where the North Sea meets the Baltic Sea and everything else.
45:04 Speaker 04 You're trying to just keep your eye on that.
45:05 Speaker 03 Yeah, so if anything, the competitors are the only people who actually kept their promise to me that I wouldn't have to do anything.
45:11 Speaker 04 Um, but here we go, just to confirm, um, Adrian, congratulations. Uh, the flavour connection that Adrian wa- was referring to is called Castor, Ca- Castorium. Uh, it's a yellowish fluid beavers produce in their castor sacks located near the base of the tail to mark territory. Historically, because of plant compounds in the beaver's diet, Castorium was used by the food industry to supplement raspberry, strawberry and, and vanilla flavourings. Um, so congratulations to Adrian, you are our winner.
45:48 Speaker 03 Can I just say, how is it?
45:50 Speaker 04 I'm trying to congratulate the guy, but.
45:51 Speaker 03 No, it's, okay, carry on.
45:54 Speaker 04 No, go on.
45:55 Speaker 03 How is it less trouble?
45:57 Speaker 04 Yeah.
45:57 Speaker 03 Rather than just going and picking some fucking raspberries?
46:00 Speaker 04 Yeah.
46:01 Speaker 03 Going down to the nearest dam and going in there and going, alright, boys, let's see your glands.
46:07 Speaker 04 There's no, there's no, there's no anus involved that way.
46:10 Speaker 03 I, it, uh, yeah, it seems like this person is, would have put whatever came out of the anal gland into their sweets.
46:17 Speaker 04 Congratulations.
46:18 Speaker 03 Raspberry or not.
46:19 Speaker 04 Can I congratulate Adrian, for the love of God?
46:21 Speaker 03 Sorry.
46:22 Speaker 04 Um, congratulations Adrian, you are our winner. We, we're gonna record a little personalised message for you as well. And we're gonna get all three places, um, places, sorry, a certificate. And, oh, you need to get back in touch with us, is that right? Because we need to know how to send it. So.
46:40 Speaker 03 At Wolverhampton, you'll see a train that's come off the rails and.
46:45 Speaker 04 Or if you see Queen Lily May trying to move some cows off some tracks.
46:51 Speaker 04 Get in touch with us the same way that you got in touch with us before because we need to get you your certificates and Adrian gets a little message from us. I'm all fact out, Joe.
47:00 Speaker 03 Oh, my goodness. I can't believe that's it for another year, another four years.
47:03 Speaker 04 Yeah.
47:04 Speaker 03 Another four years.
47:05 Speaker 04 Oh, it comes and goes so quickly, doesn't it?
47:06 Speaker 03 Which country will be, I think it's Saudi Arabia, the next one. They, I know it's, there's futures, but they, they paid us so much money.
47:14 Speaker 04 Oh, God, yeah. We hope that you've learned something or had a nice time. It doesn't necessarily have had to have been both, but we'll be back next week armed with more facts, chats and flavours from Beavers Cracks. If you'd like to get in touch, you can. Our email is hello at joanjamespod.com. Our WhatsApp is 07822034330 and you can follow us on our social media at joanjamespod. Head to the podcast description if you've already forgotten those details. That's the end.
47:44 Speaker 03 Bye.
47:44 Speaker 04 Bye.
47:45 Speaker 03 Bye.
47:45 Speaker 04 See you next week, guys. It's the world up.
47:49 Speaker 03 It's the world up.
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