Does Joe Have The WORST Trainers?

This week Joe and James reminisce on things from the past but struggle to recall anything from the last 50 eps, in this milestone episode. Plus they discuss the very first week of filming The Inbetweeners... AD. In the mood for insane food, live sports action and drinks that'd give a brewery a run for its money? Visit your local Flaming Grill. GET IN TOUCH: Whatsapp us - wa.me/447822034330 http://wa.me/447822034330 Fill in our Fact Up Form - https://forms.gle/uzF6XWPqaA5aNTtN7 Subscribe on Youtube - www.youtube.com/@JoeandJamesPod/videos http://www.youtube.com/@JoeandJamesPod/videos Follow us on Instagram - www.instagram.com/joeandjamespod http://www.instagram.com/joeandjamespod Follow us on TikTok - www.tiktok.com/@joeandjamespod http://www.tiktok.com/@joeandjamespod Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy https://acast.com/privacy for more information.

• 0:00Speaker 00

  Hi, it's Danny Pellegrino from Everything Iconic. 12 celebrities, one Don and cold hard cash. From the producers of The Traitors comes The Mob, a new Hulu original series. The iconic Parker Posey hosts this unique reality competition show where 12 celebrity contestants shake down in an Italian villa to win a share of up to $250,000. Watch the new Hulu original series, The Mob, premiering October 26th on Hulu and Hulu on Disney+ Plus for bundle subscribers. Terms apply.

• 0:35Speaker 01

  Joe, do you want to put your mic a bit closer to you?

• 0:36Speaker 02

  Oh, go on.

• 0:39Speaker 03

  Fine.

• 0:39Speaker 02

  Speaking to the microphone.

• 0:41Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 0:42Speaker 02

  We're doing, we're recording, Joe. We're on, we're up.

• 0:45Speaker 03

  We're on, here we go.

• 0:45Speaker 02

  I'm tired, man. Put too much energy into that last episode.

• 0:49Speaker 03

  That last one got a bit out of hand and I got a bit overexcited at the end and, um.

• 0:55Speaker 03

  Yeah, well, let's try, I'm tired as well, so we'll just try and.

• 0:58Speaker 01

  I don't know if this will cheer you up. This is our 50th episode.

• 1:00Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah, okay, 50, so half century, okay.

• 1:04Speaker 02

  Let's change gear.

• 1:05Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 1:05Speaker 01

  A bit more exciting.

• 1:06Speaker 03

  50 not out.

• 1:07Speaker 02

  We just had, um, new marketing people come in and speak to us. They're in charge of like getting sponsorship and things like that. Do you know what? Even in my head, I was just like, this conversation's pointless.

• 1:20Speaker 03

  No, they had some ideas.

• 1:22Speaker 02

  Yeah, I'm sure they've got loads of ideas, but.

• 1:23Speaker 03

  Yeah, no, they're not going to come to anything.

• 1:25Speaker 02

  But they need, they need to find companies that will pay to be mentioned on this podcast.

• 1:31Speaker 03

  Well, also, like, one of them was quite new, so he was like a teacher on the first week in a rough school, being like, I can turn this around.

• 1:40Speaker 02

  Loved it. Honestly, loved the optimism. Loved how optimistic they were.

• 1:44Speaker 03

  By week, if we see him again, he'll be a broken man. He'll just be.

• 1:48Speaker 02

  Trying to get sponsorship for this podcast is going to destroy those people. Bless them.

• 1:54Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:55Speaker 02

  God bless them. Good luck to them.

• 1:57Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:58Speaker 02

  Also, we do need sponsors on this because, um, you've just bought some new shoes.

• 2:02Speaker 03

  Yeah, here they are. Um.

• 2:03Speaker 02

  Ooh, new shoes. Is that something? Is that an advert or something?

• 2:07Speaker 01

  Not sure.

• 2:08Speaker 02

  Ooh, new shoes.

• 2:12Speaker 03

  There was something about new shoes in The Inbetweeners that, um, they wanted to become a thing, which was the flippers, where Will is wearing some black, long shoes. And everyone's going, you've got fucking flippers on. And he says, these are Italian. And then you're like, hey, where are my flippers?

• 2:31Speaker 02

  Did that make it into the show? Did that actually make it, did that get broadcast?

• 2:35Speaker 01

  I think it, I think it did.

• 2:36Speaker 03

  It did, yeah. It was like, hey, where are my flippers?

• 2:40Speaker 02

  Dear. I like The Inbetweeners and in my head, I think it's good, but then sometimes I remember.

• 2:46Speaker 03

  No, you know, you're not going to, not everything's, I think they thought that might be like a new bus wankers. I think, I think they thought that flippers would be the, it was a bit like how, you know, um, Trainspotting was just made as.

• 2:58Speaker 02

  That episode.

• 2:59Speaker 03

  Is it?

• 2:59Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:59Speaker 03

  Unbelievable, that.

• 3:01Speaker 01

  You're just gonna eat like that on, like.

• 3:03Speaker 03

  Some people don't like the eating, but he's eating some minstrels.

• 3:06Speaker 01

  Mouthful.

• 3:06Speaker 03

  If we can, somebody, somebody actually wants to sponsor us. Does anyone want to sponsor us?

• 3:10Speaker 02

  I just emptied the, um, packet in my mouth.

• 3:12Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's quite something.

• 3:14Speaker 02

  That's why you should get counters. They're less noisy.

• 3:18Speaker 03

  Yeah, I heard you talking about them. Well, they can't sponsor us now. Counters can. Minstrels, you're out. Counters, come in.

• 3:26Speaker 01

  I think I prefer.

• 3:27Speaker 02

  It's by the same company, Galaxy.

• 3:30Speaker 03

  Fine, Galaxy.

• 3:31Speaker 02

  Galaxy make your counters and your minstrels.

• 3:33Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 3:33Speaker 01

  I've got, I've got a fun serving suggestion for minstrels though. I mean, if Galaxy want to sponsor us first, but I, um.

• 3:39Speaker 02

  If it's anything to do with the microwave.

• 3:41Speaker 01

  It is.

• 3:41Speaker 02

  Yes, boring. Route one, route one.

• 3:44Speaker 01

  It's excellent.

• 3:45Speaker 02

  So the, the shell stays hard, but the inside becomes gooey.

• 3:49Speaker 01

  Exactly. Don't tell me that's not fun.

• 3:51Speaker 03

  Oh, it is quite fun. So it's because of the microwave, of course, works and here's, here's the science. Um, the microwave expands water in the food. So if there's no water, it can't heat it.

• 4:09Speaker 03

  So presumably the shell has less water in, which makes sense because it's hard, whereas the inside is soft. It would melt eventually, wouldn't it?

• 4:17Speaker 01

  Maybe, yeah. I mean, actually they tend to crack and they, they actually stop burning the inside if you go too long. So you have to watch it.

• 4:24Speaker 02

  You know, that's how the microwave was invented.

• 4:29Speaker 02

  Yeah, now I've got you. Now I've got you. Um, they were trying to do, they were doing stuff with microwaves. The, right?

• 4:37Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 4:38Speaker 02

  One of them had a chocolate in his, in his pocket. And it was, it was in his breast pocket. And the thing, he went to have his chocolate, it was like, fucking hell, it was melted. And it was because they were messing about with microwaves.

• 4:53Speaker 03

  Sounds rea, it sounds so safe, yeah.

• 4:55Speaker 02

  And then that's how they, they eventually got to the Faraday cage.

• 5:00Speaker 02

  Which is, you know, when you look in your microwave and you can see that little, there's a little sort of thing. That stops, that stops the stuff from melting you.

• 5:09Speaker 03

  Can you put your keys in there? Cause I've got.

• 5:12Speaker 02

  You could, here's a fact for you. You can put anything in a microwave.

• 5:16Speaker 03

  To begin with.

• 5:17Speaker 02

  I don't know what will happen.

• 5:19Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 5:19Speaker 02

  Have you ever put a, have you ever sliced a grape in half and put it in the microwave? You start getting, um, lightning.

• 5:26Speaker 03

  Do you?

• 5:26Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 5:27Speaker 03

  What's in a grape to make lightning?

• 5:28Speaker 02

  I don't know. I'm not sure. You slice a grape in half, you put it in, turn the microwave on, starts fucking flashing and stuff.

• 5:35Speaker 03

  Whoa, all right.

• 5:37Speaker 01

  A ball of plasma gas. There you go.

• 5:40Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, that's lightning, isn't it? That's what lightning is essentially. It's sort of electrons or whatever, getting all excited. And then when they, when they form a, when they get excited enough and they form a sort of bell cord.

• 5:56Speaker 01

  They say it between touching grapes. So is that why you're slicing it in half? So you've got the two halves together? Cause there's a sort of images of two grapes together.

• 6:04Speaker 02

  Oh, I don't, maybe the slicing of the grape doesn't matter. I was told slicing a grape will.

• 6:08Speaker 03

  So the grapes will kind of join hands?

• 6:11Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 6:12Speaker 03

  In a, in a sort of.

• 6:14Speaker 02

  Tin foil, like if you put tin foil in a microwave, that can do some shit.

• 6:19Speaker 03

  Metal was not good. Here's a thing. Did you ever used to do a thing at school where you get a crisp packet?

• 6:25Speaker 02

  You make it, yeah.

• 6:26Speaker 03

  That was good.

• 6:27Speaker 02

  You have to stick, yeah, you can stick it in the oven.

• 6:29Speaker 03

  Make it turn into a key ring.

• 6:31Speaker 02

  Put it on your keys. Absolutely. Little walkers, crisp packet.

• 6:36Speaker 03

  Pretty cool. That's cool, cool. Good times. Oh, do you remember Conkers?

• 6:40Speaker 02

  Conkers.

• 6:42Speaker 03

  Another thing I've got at home.

• 6:43Speaker 02

  Pepsi Max pencil cases.

• 6:46Speaker 03

  Oh, in the shape of a can?

• 6:47Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 6:48Speaker 03

  Do you remember Tab Clear?

• 6:50Speaker 02

  No.

• 6:51Speaker 03

  It's Coca-Cola, but it looks like water.

• 6:53Speaker 02

  Oh, no, yeah. No, you're a couple of years older than me.

• 6:57Speaker 03

  Yeah, I am. That didn't catch on.

• 6:59Speaker 02

  Used to get, um, clear cola from Panda Pops.

• 7:02Speaker 03

  Panda Pops, yeah.

• 7:05Speaker 02

  Chipsticks.

• 7:07Speaker 03

  Candy sticks.

• 7:09Speaker 02

  Anyone else want to say some things from the past?

• 7:13Speaker 03

  Rationing.

• 7:14Speaker 02

  Rationing.

• 7:15Speaker 01

  Scampi fries.

• 7:16Speaker 03

  Scampi fries.

• 7:17Speaker 02

  Scampi fries.

• 7:18Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 7:19Speaker 01

  Love scampi fries.

• 7:19Speaker 02

  Polio.

• 7:21Speaker 03

  Yeah, dysentery.

• 7:22Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 7:23Speaker 03

  The Maxim gun, boom.

• 7:27Speaker 02

  Battleships that were painted all weird, like strange zebras.

• 7:32Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah.

• 7:33Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 7:35Speaker 02

  I still don't know, I trust the Navy know what they're doing.

• 7:40Speaker 02

  Cause you know, they like, you know, they painted them all weird during World War II and stuff. Cause the idea is that when, when there was a U-boat and he'd have his little periscope.

• 7:49Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah.

• 7:49Speaker 02

  It wouldn't be able to work out where the beginning of it.

• 7:52Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 7:52Speaker 02

  I still think I'd be able to work it out.

• 7:55Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 7:55Speaker 02

  Cause I would just be like, we'll just go for the middle.

• 7:58Speaker 03

  Yeah, that's a point. You don't have to go for the, you're not taking a penalty.

• 8:02Speaker 02

  Yeah, just go.

• 8:02Speaker 03

  Don't try and get in the corner.

• 8:03Speaker 02

  Yeah, just go straight down the middle.

• 8:05Speaker 03

  Straight down the middle. No goalkeeper anyway. Or is there? He might be painted as well. Goalkeepers, they didn't work, did they? The ship's safe. Why? You've got a goalkeeper.

• 8:15Speaker 02

  Got a goalkeeper. Well, also another thing about the goalkeeper in a similar sort of, do you remember a few years ago, it was quite fashionable for goalkeepers to wear fluorescent colours?

• 8:28Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah.

• 8:28Speaker 02

  So they'd be like fluorescent orange or.

• 8:30Speaker 03

  Yeah, like you look bigger.

• 8:31Speaker 02

  Yeah, no. So what it would do is in the split second that your brain's got to shoot at the goal, right? If you're a striker, you don't have much time on the ball, do you? You get it and you've got to shoot straight away. You've got to get those shots off fast.

• 8:45Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 8:45Speaker 02

  Your brain would just instantly look for a target. And you would, more than, more often than not, you would shoot at the goalkeeper.

• 8:54Speaker 03

  That's amazing. So just like a sort of subliminal.

• 8:57Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 8:58Speaker 03

  Got to hit something.

• 8:59Speaker 02

  Well, that was the science. I'm not sure if it was actually true.

• 9:02Speaker 03

  It's always just nice to look.

• 9:03Speaker 02

  I said that was the science. I'm not sure if it was true.

• 9:06Speaker 03

  Yeah, the one bit that's often, yeah, not true is the science.

• 9:12Speaker 02

  50th, 50th episode of this. We've made 50 episodes of this and I've got to be honest, Joe. I think these are only, these are just getting better. We're just warmed up.

• 9:21Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 9:22Speaker 02

  We are just warmed up.

• 9:24Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 9:24Speaker 02

  We've not even got to where we want to be with these, with this podcast yet.

• 9:27Speaker 03

  There's so much more, there's so much more to come.

• 9:29Speaker 01

  What are your favourite memories of the first 50 episodes?

• 9:32Speaker 02

  Do you know what, right? Do you know what's really weird about doing this podcast is as soon as we've done an episode, I can't remember a single, when we get to the end, we used to say things like, what have we learnt today, Joe? And I've asked that to be removed from the script.

• 9:44Speaker 03

  Oh, that's why it's gone.

• 9:45Speaker 02

  Because I can't remember anything that we've spoken about, even before we've ended the episode.

• 9:52Speaker 03

  Yeah. And that's, um, I think in a way that's the sign of just a fantastic experience.

• 9:58Speaker 02

  Like it's just, you do it, it's over. What, did that even happen? Did we even do that? I don't know, man.

• 10:03Speaker 03

  It's like if you go to, if you go to a, like a theme park or something, the sign of a really good day is that you're driving home in the car and you're like, did we even go to a theme park?

• 10:14Speaker 02

  Go and see your favourite band play Wembley and you're like, fucking, did I even, what, I can't even tell you what songs they played.

• 10:20Speaker 03

  What's, yeah, I can't, I don't, I can't remember anyone playing anything.

• 10:23Speaker 02

  You must have had a great time then.

• 10:25Speaker 03

  Yeah, that's how, that's how you know. Um, but no, we're, um, well, it's nice, isn't it? I mean, it's a, it's a 50 partnership, 50 not out.

• 10:36Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 10:36Speaker 03

  50 for no loss. Um, and I don't know what a loss would be. What, one, one of us is sacked, I suppose.

• 10:45Speaker 02

  Be hard to do Joan James fact up if one of us got sacked.

• 10:49Speaker 03

  Well, it could be Theo James.

• 10:51Speaker 02

  Right, so you're getting rid of me.

• 10:52Speaker 03

  Well, no, just because Theo James popped into my head.

• 10:54Speaker 02

  Or it could just be called.

• 10:55Speaker 03

  Like that fluorescent goalkeeper.

• 10:56Speaker 02

  It could be called Theo James fact up.

• 10:58Speaker 03

  Theo James, yeah, yeah.

• 11:00Speaker 01

  I wouldn't mind that.

• 11:01Speaker 02

  You'd be up for that, would you?

• 11:02Speaker 01

  Yeah, I wouldn't mind that. He's, you know, he's a big star, isn't he?

• 11:05Speaker 03

  Yeah. No, I mean, it'd be a big boost, it'd be a big boost to listeners. And he probably wouldn't have all the problems that I've got. So like, he's, he'd be a bit more of a safe pair of hands. You have to cover for me quite a lot when I've got my eyes closed or something like that. I don't think he's got that problem. Um, he's just a.

• 11:21Speaker 01

  He was really good in White Lotus and I'd like to ask him about that as well.

• 11:24Speaker 03

  Yeah, he was really good in White Lotus. Um, he's got a better body than me. The thing about, can I say about White Lotus? There's, well, I mean, I've got, my body is, you know, what, this is all exactly as I want it. Don't think this is just what hap- how it happens to have turned out.

• 11:38Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 11:38Speaker 03

  I, this is tweaked.

• 11:40Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 11:41Speaker 03

  I've got exactly the fat content I want.

• 11:43Speaker 02

  Have you had tweakments? I hate that word.

• 11:46Speaker 03

  I don't even, I don't even want to talk about it. No, I hate, I hate when.

• 11:49Speaker 02

  Tell us, tell us all about your celebrity tweakments, your secret celebrity tweakment, tweakments.

• 11:56Speaker 03

  No, just honestly.

• 11:57Speaker 02

  Come on, we're all adults here. We're all adults here. We don't have to talk like we're in a bloody, in the cat in the hat or something.

• 12:06Speaker 03

  I, yeah, I don't even want to.

• 12:12Speaker 00

  Hi, it's Danny Pellegrino from Everything Iconic. Twelve celebrities, one Don and cold, hard cash. From the producers of The Traitors comes The Mob, a new Hulu original series. The iconic Parker Posey hosts this unique reality competition show where 12 celebrity contestants shake down in an Italian villa to win a share of up to $250,000. Watch the new Hulu original series, The Mob, premiering October 26th on Hulu and Hulu on Disney Plus for bundle subscribers. Terms apply.

• 12:47Speaker 01

  What about one eye remind you of some of my favourite memories from the 50th episode?

• 12:51Speaker 02

  Yeah, let's do that.

• 12:53Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 12:54Speaker 01

  Well.

• 12:54Speaker 03

  Supposed to be us reminiscing about, okay, yeah, Lily May.

• 13:01Speaker 02

  Go on, Lily May, can you remember anything we've said?

• 13:03Speaker 01

  Yeah, because I've listened to the episode several times.

• 13:05Speaker 02

  Of course you have. God bless you.

• 13:07Speaker 03

  You've had to.

• 13:07Speaker 01

  This is my job.

• 13:08Speaker 03

  You're paid to do it, which is the only reason, yeah.

• 13:10Speaker 02

  You've not been sectioned or something.

• 13:12Speaker 03

  I'm really sorry. Do they provide like professional support outside the job?

• 13:16Speaker 02

  Do you dream of us?

• 13:18Speaker 01

  Excuse me?

• 13:19Speaker 02

  No, but like in a, in a horrible way.

• 13:21Speaker 03

  Yeah, nightmares.

• 13:22Speaker 02

  Yeah. Do you like go to sleep at night? You've just listened to the podcast for the third time. It's the third edit of the podcast. You've listened to it all the way through. Now it's bedtime. I can finally go to bed. And then our voices are ear in your head still.

• 13:35Speaker 01

  I don't dream anymore.

• 13:36Speaker 02

  Don't, no.

• 13:38Speaker 03

  No.

• 13:38Speaker 02

  Don't sleep anymore.

• 13:39Speaker 01

  Don't sleep anymore. Don't dream anymore.

• 13:41Speaker 03

  Just, is this a sort of Lady Macbeth experience for you? Just like, yeah.

• 13:44Speaker 01

  That's the way it's going.

• 13:45Speaker 03

  You can't get your hands clean. Get it off. Out.

• 13:50Speaker 01

  I, I loved.

• 13:51Speaker 02

  Cry in the shower or anything?

• 13:52Speaker 01

  Yeah, but that's the best place to do it.

• 13:54Speaker 02

  Right. Yeah, of course. Because no one can tell.

• 13:57Speaker 03

  Yeah. Um, one time on Fresh Meat, um, I said, can I have a dressing room where I can cry and no one will be able to hear me? Carry on.

• 14:06Speaker 02

  I believe you.

• 14:06Speaker 01

  One of the saddest things I've ever heard. Um.

• 14:08Speaker 03

  They honestly found me a room. It was a big conference room.

• 14:11Speaker 02

  You should take the door off it.

• 14:15Speaker 02

  You should take the door off it and then, and then they heard you anyway.

• 14:20Speaker 03

  I don't, what? I don't understand. No.

• 14:22Speaker 02

  Did you do that in a hotel or something? You just took a door off?

• 14:25Speaker 03

  I smashed my way out of a hotel room once. I, I got knocked in the toilet and, um, the only thing I could come up with was I'll have to sleep in the toilet and get out in the morning. And then Hannah said to me, what was going to happen in the morning? And I was like, well, I, oh yeah.

• 14:41Speaker 02

  That's it.

• 14:42Speaker 03

  Anyway, so I smashed my way out and then I was buzzing from it. I was like, and I was just going around the job being like, I just smashed over my door. Just to people I didn't even know. I was like, I just broke a door down.

• 14:53Speaker 01

  Well, that's one of the highlights for sure of the 50 episodes. I think one of my favourite memories was also learning about, um, the gorgeous plant form.

• 15:01Speaker 03

  Oh yeah, that was good. How about that?

• 15:03Speaker 01

  That's one of my favourite memories. Um, I think I enjoyed hearing your story of two girls, one cup from, from the Inbetweeners.

• 15:09Speaker 03

  Yeah, he didn't want to do it, did he?

• 15:11Speaker 01

  Very insightful.

• 15:12Speaker 02

  Never got to see that. That was a cultural, massive cultural thing that passed us by.

• 15:16Speaker 03

  And they wanted real reactions to it. And, um, you know, that was our VE day in a way and we didn't get to, um. Anyway, never has the nation really been united since, I don't think.

• 15:28Speaker 01

  I've enjoyed, um, making a new tradition of Battle of Hastings Day.

• 15:33Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 15:33Speaker 01

  That's, that's been a good one.

• 15:35Speaker 03

  That's a good one.

• 15:35Speaker 01

  I really enjoyed making you guys do the aura farming dance and I feel like I should get you to do more of that stuff.

• 15:41Speaker 03

  I can't even.

• 15:42Speaker 02

  I don't remember that one.

• 15:43Speaker 01

  I'll show you a clip of that. It's good stuff. Um, your warhorse audition.

• 15:47Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 15:47Speaker 01

  That was a fabulous story and getting you to then do the Twilight script.

• 15:52Speaker 02

  That was a strange time.

• 15:52Speaker 01

  A particular highlight.

• 15:54Speaker 03

  Yeah, I did the Twilight thing. That was good. It was a good one.

• 15:57Speaker 01

  I enjoyed learning about, um, your love of birds.

• 16:01Speaker 02

  Well, they're interesting. Nature's interesting.

• 16:04Speaker 01

  Interesting.

• 16:05Speaker 02

  I don't find them sexually attractive.

• 16:07Speaker 03

  No.

• 16:08Speaker 01

  We'll see. Um, and I enjoy your toes touching.

• 16:11Speaker 02

  Some of the birds where, where I grew up.

• 16:16Speaker 01

  Toes touching throughout the episodes. I think that's very sweet.

• 16:18Speaker 03

  Yeah, that's why aren't you coming around anymore?

• 16:20Speaker 02

  Well, you've got new, you've got your new shoes. I don't want to, I don't want to wreck your new shoes even more.

• 16:24Speaker 03

  These new shoes, I did it.

• 16:26Speaker 02

  They've already got a mark on them.

• 16:28Speaker 03

  Fell over my shoe. Fell over.

• 16:30Speaker 02

  Fell over, Joe. You're falling over, you're cutting your foot.

• 16:34Speaker 03

  They're, well, they were, they're a bit, you know, when you've got new shoes, they're not quite.

• 16:39Speaker 03

  They're not second skin yet. Do you know what I mean? They're, they're, they're still feel like they're, they're a millimetre longer than you expected them to be.

• 16:46Speaker 02

  In fact, can we make a note of this date? Because I'd really like to, I mean, honestly, next week they'll be fucked.

• 16:53Speaker 03

  Can I just say, I did a part in a TV show recently and the guy was basically a bit of a loser, essentially. He was, he had mental health problems and he was rather not, that makes you a loser. Fuck's sake. Um, but he was a loser. A stupid, pointless waste of space.

• 17:11Speaker 02

  Right.

• 17:11Speaker 03

  And, um, one of the ways that they showed this was that he was wearing basically these shoes. And all the cast were laughing at them. They were saying they looked like paracetamol's.

• 17:20Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 17:21Speaker 03

  And I knew that I'd bought them as my new pair of shoes and I was like, I'm going to have to wear them.

• 17:26Speaker 02

  They're, I looked up those, they're so expensive, those shoes.

• 17:29Speaker 03

  I know they are. The thing is, look.

• 17:31Speaker 02

  And look at them. Honestly, they look like you could get those from George, Georges or something.

• 17:37Speaker 03

  I know. I'm just, can I just say, I don't know anything at all about fashion at all. I was just told.

• 17:45Speaker 02

  You just want plain white.

• 17:46Speaker 03

  I was just told that people wear white trainers now. I probably read it in like G2 or something. I, I don't know what I'm doing. I would be perfectly happy if somebody just dressed me every morning and said, this will keep you out of trouble.

• 17:59Speaker 02

  Just, if you want trainers like that.

• 18:00Speaker 03

  Turns out that people have moved on. They don't want to wear white trainers anymore and they're calling them paracetamol's. Which is offensive to people who have to use paracetamol.

• 18:09Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 18:10Speaker 03

  And are in pain.

• 18:13Speaker 01

  Could you describe them, the shoes for anyone who's just listening on audio?

• 18:16Speaker 02

  Go to Next, go to the Next website and type in white trainers. But Joe's ones are from Arigato and what, what are they? About 200 quid or something?

• 18:25Speaker 03

  It's about 250 pounds.

• 18:27Speaker 02

  Mental.

• 18:28Speaker 03

  The pair, that's the pair.

• 18:29Speaker 02

  Each.

• 18:30Speaker 03

  Yeah, you get two for that.

• 18:33Speaker 02

  But they do, they look like Next trainers.

• 18:35Speaker 03

  I know.

• 18:36Speaker 01

  I have just put white trainers into Next.

• 18:38Speaker 03

  I know. And also the ones.

• 18:39Speaker 01

  There's so many shoes that look like you.

• 18:42Speaker 03

  I know. And also, I, I.

• 18:44Speaker 02

  And how much were they?

• 18:45Speaker 01

  About, well, the most expensive ones I can see are 35 quid.

• 18:48Speaker 03

  Oh God. But also the ones, the ones that the costume department had bought me for my character, they were just the ones from, you know, I think Debenhams or something, if that still exists. And I, and I knew they'd only cost about 10 pounds and they, yeah, CNA. Mothercare. And they looked exactly the same at Woolworths. They looked exactly the same as, as mine that I knew were at home and I knew I'd spent a lot of money. I just thought that a few years ago, basically, I, I just thought that, I saw an article basically that basically said, white trainers are now just, they, they've won. That's just what everyone wears now. Um, and I thought as long as they're new, and basically I'm, I'm wrong. I don't, I don't understand.

• 19:30Speaker 02

  They, they just look like trainers to me. They just look like a man wearing a train.

• 19:33Speaker 03

  Fine. Well, that's not what they were saying on the set. They were being very cruel about them.

• 19:37Speaker 02

  The problem I have is.

• 19:38Speaker 03

  And they'd made me wear them.

• 19:39Speaker 02

  The problem I have with them is the price that you pay for them when you could get the same ones for 35 quid.

• 19:46Speaker 03

  Well, I assume that there's something about them that.

• 19:49Speaker 02

  Speaking of Woolworths quickly, do you know, do you find it weird when you go to a different country and they've got the same, they've got the same thing? It's called, it's the same name, but it's a different thing.

• 19:59Speaker 03

  Oh, I know. Yeah. Woolworths in, um, Woolworths in Australia is, is a supermarket.

• 20:03Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 20:04Speaker 03

  What's the story there?

• 20:06Speaker 02

  What's, how did that happen?

• 20:07Speaker 03

  What's happened there?

• 20:08Speaker 02

  How have we got, how have we got Woolworths and they've got Woolworths?

• 20:11Speaker 03

  Well, I'm closed down as well.

• 20:12Speaker 02

  Is that, is that gone closed?

• 20:13Speaker 03

  We don't have Woolworths anymore.

• 20:15Speaker 02

  That one's gone. They've still got it, yeah.

• 20:16Speaker 03

  Oh, they've still got theirs. Don't worry about that.

• 20:20Speaker 02

  I remember when I went.

• 20:20Speaker 03

  Can I say something else?

• 20:21Speaker 02

  Go on.

• 20:22Speaker 03

  In New Zealand, they call a cucumber a telegraph cucumber.

• 20:27Speaker 03

  Because it looks like a telegraph pole. But I don't know, there's no other form of cucumber.

• 20:30Speaker 02

  No way did they call it that.

• 20:32Speaker 03

  They call it a telegraph cucumber.

• 20:34Speaker 02

  Why, what, is there a different cucumber?

• 20:35Speaker 03

  Well, apparently. Well, gherkin, but you're not going to get involved in that.

• 20:38Speaker 02

  But again, it's the same shape, though.

• 20:40Speaker 03

  It's the same shape.

• 20:41Speaker 02

  Ah, also.

• 20:42Speaker 03

  I asked someone in the shop. It probably was Woolworths. It was Woolworths. I said, why is it called a telegraph cucumber? He said, it's just in the shape.

• 20:48Speaker 02

  But the.

• 20:48Speaker 03

  I said, is that just a cucumber? As a Brit, can I safely buy this?

• 20:52Speaker 02

  But the cucumber was around before the telegraph pole. So what were they calling it then?

• 20:55Speaker 03

  I don't, I, I do not fucking know. I do not know. I do not know. Yeah, it's something like the AI mango. Why'd you call it that?

• 21:02Speaker 02

  Don't.

• 21:03Speaker 03

  Oh, right. I was just thinking of something that didn't used to be around.

• 21:05Speaker 02

  Don't.

• 21:06Speaker 03

  And it was better when it wasn't.

• 21:07Speaker 02

  We're gonna have to start a drinking game. Every time Joe mentions AI.

• 21:11Speaker 01

  I'll die.

• 21:14Speaker 01

  Don't make me do it.

• 21:15Speaker 02

  We're angry for this 50th episode.

• 21:17Speaker 01

  I know. I thought this would be like a nice jolly intro.

• 21:19Speaker 02

  No, no, we are jolly.

• 21:19Speaker 03

  We're like Dylan. We're getting more angry as we get older.

• 21:23Speaker 02

  I think I used up all my, um, fun energy for, uh, for the first record.

• 21:27Speaker 01

  Has the chocolate not helped?

• 21:29Speaker 02

  No, I think maybe it, ah, I shouldn't have had choc- I never usually have any sweets or snacks or anything. And I think maybe I spiked and then, and now I'm crashing.

• 21:38Speaker 03

  I remember one time on the set of The Inbetweeners when you consumed an entire chocolate bunny. And then about 45 minutes later, you were just in a heap in the corner.

• 21:48Speaker 02

  What was the thing that you did on The Inbetweeners?

• 21:50Speaker 03

  I ate an entire packet of a big, like, bigger than that. Like, I ate them in like a minute.

• 21:56Speaker 02

  Yeah, that was a stupid thing to do.

• 21:58Speaker 03

  And then it was my single.

• 21:59Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 22:00Speaker 03

  It was my close up.

• 22:01Speaker 02

  Yeah, I think you had like 45 seconds.

• 22:03Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 22:03Speaker 02

  To eat like, what I would say is a carrier bag sized of Haribo.

• 22:07Speaker 03

  Oh god, it was horrendous.

• 22:08Speaker 02

  And, and Ian Morris was like.

• 22:11Speaker 03

  He was goading me.

• 22:12Speaker 02

  He was like Brent. He was like.

• 22:13Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 22:15Speaker 02

  He was literally like that. And then we had to finish the rest of the scene that we were shooting. This is what I mean. When people say like, what was it like making The Inbetweeners?

• 22:23Speaker 03

  Unprofessional. It was unprofessional.

• 22:24Speaker 02

  I was like, we completely fucked around. And if there was a TV show or a film at the end of the day, we were lucky.

• 22:30Speaker 03

  That's completely true. There was no.

• 22:31Speaker 02

  And, and also, we, we weren't, we didn't, we didn't focus on the film or.

• 22:36Speaker 03

  We didn't respect it.

• 22:37Speaker 02

  I don't wanna say we didn't care about the film.

• 22:38Speaker 03

  On the first week, they heard us on Cannes, like taking the piss out of the script, like we were laughing.

• 22:45Speaker 02

  The very first week of us making The Inbetweeners. Before The Inbetweeners had ever gone out, before the TV show had ever gone out, we were just going, this is shit. Who's gonna, we were going, no one's, we were laughing our heads off. We were going, no one's gonna watch this.

• 23:03Speaker 03

  Yeah, that is entirely true. There was absolutely no respect.

• 23:07Speaker 02

  But we were all, we were all mic'd up.

• 23:09Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 23:09Speaker 02

  We all had little microphones on for sound. And what we didn't know was that the creators and the director and the producers and everyone was listening to us. We were going, this is fucking rubbish.

• 23:18Speaker 03

  It took such a long time for us to realise that they could hear us. I remember Bird, I can never even go in, oh. They can hear us.

• 23:28Speaker 03

  That, yeah, honestly, yeah. That, yeah, there was absolutely no, the process was not respected at all. It's why I do find it quite difficult to kind of

• 23:38Speaker 03

  take things seriously after that. Because to be fair, it did go quite well. And I'm like, well, that was on the back of no kind of reverence for it at all. There was no, I remember the, the second film, they'd rented a hall for us to rehearse in for a week. And they just gave up on about day three. Because every day was just an argument about whether we should have to rehearse.

• 23:58Speaker 02

  It's because I kept turning up going, oh, we don't need to do this. I kept saying, my argument was, you wanna rehearse this scene? When are we, when, when are we actually filming this? When are we actually shooting this? And it'd be like three months down the line. I'd be like, well, I'll forget everything that you just said. So what's the point?

• 24:14Speaker 03

  And also in a totally different setting where like, I don't know, maybe, maybe it helps. I don't know. But it, yeah.

• 24:21Speaker 02

  But I do think, I genuinely, and this is a bit of a cop out, and it is a bit like enabling, I don't know what the word I'm trying to say, but.

• 24:31Speaker 03

  No, I understand. It's like one of those, it's like one of those arguments where it's like, um, you get to carry on doing exactly what you were doing anyway, but now you're saying that you're doing it because it's actually what's best.

• 24:43Speaker 02

  I think, I think, I think it became a bit of the secret sauce.

• 24:46Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 24:47Speaker 02

  I think when people watch The Inbetweeners, and I do think a lot of people watch it and go, god, they must have ever added love making this.

• 24:53Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 24:53Speaker 02

  And we did.

• 24:54Speaker 03

  Yeah, we did.

• 24:55Speaker 02

  We, it was the most important thing. The TV show wasn't important.

• 25:00Speaker 03

  When the TV show came out, I was like, oh yeah, this was this, um, side thing they were doing where they were gonna, well, they didn't.

• 25:06Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 25:07Speaker 03

  Episodes, episodes and stuff. Oh, okay. This isn't representative of the experience.

• 25:12Speaker 02

  I remember we'd be doing something, they'd be like, right, we're gonna set up for another scene. You guys sit here and hang out or whatever. And we'd be mucking about and stuff. And then when they'd come, when they'd come to us and be like, right, we're ready to, we'd be like, oh, what?

• 25:25Speaker 03

  No, we were annoyed.

• 25:28Speaker 02

  We were. Fuck's sake, we're still doing this?

• 25:32Speaker 03

  Yeah, we treated it.

• 25:33Speaker 02

  Just trying out, just trying out with pals.

• 25:35Speaker 03

  We treated it as, as an encumbrance.

• 25:38Speaker 02

  Yeah, it was like, the show was, the filming of the show was really getting in the way of us having a good time.

• 25:43Speaker 03

  Yeah, honestly, that was how I experienced it. They'd have to kind of come over kind of tenderly, be like, guys, do you think you might, like, no, not now.

• 25:54Speaker 02

  Hey, listen, if you do this scene, we'll get a dominoes or something. Okay, yeah.

• 25:59Speaker 02

  All right, fair enough.

• 26:00Speaker 01

  Good to know.

• 26:02Speaker 03

  That's right. Well, happy 50th.

• 26:05Speaker 02

  Happy 50th, Joe. You don't look a day over 49.

• 26:09Speaker 03

  Thank you very much. And, um, may there be

• 26:14Speaker 03

  30 more. 30 more, I think that's.

• 26:17Speaker 02

  32.

• 26:18Speaker 03

  32 more.

• 26:19Speaker 02

  I've got 32 more in me.

• 26:21Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 26:21Speaker 02

  Um, any more memory down memory lane?

• 26:24Speaker 01

  Hmm.

• 26:25Speaker 02

  Over the last 50 weeks.

• 26:26Speaker 01

  Well, I, I enjoyed the world up.

• 26:28Speaker 03

  Yeah, that was good, yeah.

• 26:29Speaker 01

  I thought that was good fun.

• 26:29Speaker 03

  I have to say, I keep thinking about the VW sausage one and thinking that maybe that should have won.

• 26:34Speaker 02

  We still, we still haven't written on the wall.

• 26:36Speaker 01

  Yeah, we still haven't written on the wall.

• 26:38Speaker 03

  Shall we change it so VW wins?

• 26:39Speaker 02

  We still haven't written on the wall who the tournament champion was.

• 26:44Speaker 01

  I wasn't here for the finals, so I'm gonna put it down to that.

• 26:46Speaker 02

  I know, that was a disaster, wasn't it?

• 26:47Speaker 01

  Yeah, it was.

• 26:48Speaker 03

  Shall we write it up now?

• 26:50Speaker 02

  Who was it?

• 26:51Speaker 03

  Raspberry and Glens one.

• 26:52Speaker 02

  Oh, of course it was.

• 26:53Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 26:54Speaker 01

  I think that was still.

• 26:55Speaker 02

  We'll put it on.

• 26:55Speaker 03

  It was still, um.

• 26:57Speaker 02

  Have we heard back? Did they like their, have we heard, did they get their certificates or anything?

• 27:01Speaker 01

  You know what? I haven't heard. I will check, check upon.

• 27:03Speaker 02

  Not a thank you or anything?

• 27:04Speaker 01

  No. But I, I don't wanna discredit them because it might just be, I haven't seen it.

• 27:08Speaker 02

  Fair enough. Okay. Fair enough.

• 27:11Speaker 01

  But I have got certificates waiting for our three winners.

• 27:14Speaker 02

  Well, shall we do? Unless there's more memories.

• 27:18Speaker 01

  Um, I think I was gonna mention it, but I forgot.

• 27:23Speaker 03

  Well.

• 27:23Speaker 02

  Obviously, it was brilliant.

• 27:25Speaker 03

  A fitting memory.

• 27:26Speaker 02

  Well, welcome to the 50th episode.

• 27:28Speaker 03

  Can I just go to the loo before we go any further?

• 27:30Speaker 02

  Yeah, absolutely.

• 27:34Speaker 03

  I'm just gonna.

• 27:35Speaker 02

  Absolutely. Why should we?

• 27:37Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 27:44Speaker 02

  How was your piss?

• 27:46Speaker 03

  It was fine.

• 27:47Speaker 02

  It was fine.

• 27:47Speaker 03

  It was fine, thank you.

• 27:48Speaker 02

  Okay, welcome to Joe and James Fact Up, a podcast loosely about facts, but it's more about the chats. If you wanna get in touch, our email is hello at joandjamespod.com. You can, you can WhatsApp us on 07822034330. Or you can follow us on socials, jo at joandjamespod. And you can watch all our episodes in full on YouTube and Apple Podcasts. Just search for Joe and James Fact Up. Now, let's get fact up.

• 28:16Speaker 03

  This episode is brought to you by Flaming Grill Pubs.

• 28:19Speaker 02

  Joe, tell me all about your perfect pub experience. I want you to paint me a picture.

• 28:24Speaker 03

  All right.

• 28:25Speaker 02

  So firstly, what time of year is it?

• 28:28Speaker 03

  Uh, well, not too hot, but obviously not too cold, because I'm thinking in the beer garden, uh, but maybe it's still cold weather.

• 28:34Speaker 02

  Okay, okay. What do you think they're showing on the TVs?

• 28:37Speaker 03

  Uh, well, football seems to be the most appropriate, I'd say.

• 28:39Speaker 02

  Brilliant.

• 28:40Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 28:40Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 28:40Speaker 03

  The footy.

• 28:41Speaker 02

  Anything else?

• 28:42Speaker 03

  Uh, well, definitely a buzzing atmosphere, for heaven's sake, uh, every night. Uh, but also it's good to have the most delicious food. Uh, essentially, I'm thinking of the ultimate local pub.

• 28:51Speaker 02

  Well, what you've basically just described is a flaming grill. They've got the big screens to watch the match, there's cold drinks and most likely a beer garden. Plus amazing value on tasty food fresh from the grill. So, for example, buy one, get one free on a range of burgers every Thursday.

• 29:07Speaker 03

  Well, James, I mean, there's two of us. Shall we pop down and get some dinner?

• 29:12Speaker 02

  I thought you'd never ask. Visit your local flaming grill.

• 29:20Speaker 03

  All right, um, so.

• 29:24Speaker 03

  You all right?

• 29:25Speaker 02

  Just coughing.

• 29:25Speaker 03

  No, we're showing our ages, fifty, that is fifty.

• 29:28Speaker 02

  That is fifty, we've hit fifty.

• 29:29Speaker 03

  This is what fifty looks like. Fifty? You got a pension?

• 29:34Speaker 02

  No.

• 29:35Speaker 03

  I've got a pension, do you want to know my attitude to my pension? I just like it back. I don't, I, it's not enough to save me when I'm old. It, but it would be useful now, I would like that money back. Can I get it back? I don't know, can I?

• 29:49Speaker 02

  I think there'll be fees.

• 29:50Speaker 03

  There'll be fees, yeah, because obviously I got to, I didn't have to pay tax on it when I put it in there. But I've not added to it, I put it in, I put it in, I put one lump sum in at one point.

• 30:00Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 30:00Speaker 03

  It's out there somewhere, I don't know what it's doing. Um, I've got a little, I've got stocks and shares ISA that I think might be below zero. I didn't know that was, not much, because I didn't have much in there. I think, I, in the end, it had about twenty pounds in it. And I looked down, I think it had gone down to minus six pounds, that is, minus six pounds. So do I owe them, do I owe them six pounds?

• 30:22Speaker 02

  Um, we've got some.

• 30:24Speaker 03

  Well, here we go, some correspondence, um, and, um, this, I'm pleased with this, it relates to a moment that I know you enjoyed when I started saying buffalo.

• 30:32Speaker 02

  Yeah, let's bring that up again.

• 30:33Speaker 03

  Yeah, I tell you who else enjoyed it, Tom, and he's emailed in.

• 30:37Speaker 02

  Go on.

• 30:37Speaker 03

  Um, and he's put, hi chaps, recently I suddenly woke around three AM, you're welcome. Thinking of Joe referencing the buffalo, buffalo, buffalo, buffalo, buffalo.

• 30:50Speaker 03

  Buffalo, buffalo, buffalo, and how the word club could possibly work in a similar manner. For instance, there is the biscuit and the choc, biscuit slash chocolate bar.

• 30:59Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 30:59Speaker 03

  The large stick slash weapon, and then a group of people sharing a passion, the action of, uh, hitting someone something. Okay, so you've got, yes, it works because you've got subject matter, noun and verb. So you could maybe say, club, club, club, club, club, club, club. The club, club, the club, club, which is the club that you, that, that actually, uh, the, the club that actually is a chocolate bar.

• 31:34Speaker 03

  Club, the club, club, club, so the, the group of people who meet up because they have a mutual interest in using a chocolate bar as a weapon. The club, club, club, club.

• 31:46Speaker 03

  He, he's had to put in a the here, which is a, a pity, but I think this is a work in progress. The club, club.

• 31:54Speaker 02

  Club.

• 31:55Speaker 03

  Club. The club, club, club, club, the, um.

• 32:00Speaker 02

  Club, club, club.

• 32:01Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah.

• 32:06Speaker 03

  The club, club, club. James, I'm going to direct this next paragraph to you, do you think there are any other words that could be stretched to fit?

• 32:12Speaker 02

  Oh, I think I'm going to kill myself.

• 32:13Speaker 03

  Okay, I was also then reminded of Joe reading a list of nighttime thoughts from his phone, either on your podcast or another one. I think that might actually have been another, another one.

• 32:22Speaker 01

  I don't remember that.

• 32:23Speaker 03

  No, that was on a podcast I did, um, with Jessica Knappick called, uh, Perfect Day, where I said, I don't really like the day, uh, particularly the middle of the day. Uh, but I like the morning and the end of the day, because you know the day's ending, I stick by that, the day's good when it's either beginning or ending. When you can either think, oh, what might happen, or, well, at least it's over, the middle of it is when you see the world and you're like, what a shit hole. Um, though on reflection, this may have been imagined, I don't think it was imagined, um, would love to hear your thoughts. And then he's put, PS, my first name's a Thomas Joseph, the opposite of Joseph Thomas. Not relevant in the site, just, it is relevant, but bonus information regardless, all the best, Tom.

• 33:02Speaker 02

  Right, that was the most interesting part of that.

• 33:04Speaker 03

  No, it wasn't, like, he, it, it's, the whole thing is interesting. Um, where he's out, he's, it seems like a bit of a doppelganger for me, to be honest, and, um.

• 33:14Speaker 02

  That's it.

• 33:14Speaker 03

  He's remembering.

• 33:15Speaker 02

  I'm in a fucking Joe Thomas, Thomas Joe.

• 33:19Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 33:20Speaker 02

  Echo chamber.

• 33:20Speaker 03

  Tom Joseph. When I was a small boy, uh, people couldn't get their head around.

• 33:26Speaker 02

  I know, we're fifty.

• 33:27Speaker 03

  They just couldn't get their head around the fact that my name wasn't Thomas, because that's maybe arguably the, the more common, uh, first name. But it's not, not by, I mean, Joe is a perfectly, I was just always being called like, Tom, Thomas. It's not that complicated, I mean, like, if, if my name was like Smith Thomas or something, then, okay, fine, but uh, that was a problem at the time for me, um, and, um, I'm probably ready to move on.

• 33:54Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 33:55Speaker 01

  I wonder if, um, Thomas Joe has the opposite problem.

• 33:57Speaker 03

  Oh, okay, so maybe do people think that you're, well, no, I don't think he does, I think Tom is, it's a name that people want to be a first name, people like it, I think. And, um, I don't know, Joe's, it's all right, I don't know, who's, I don't know that.

• 34:12Speaker 02

  Joe's a grey name.

• 34:13Speaker 03

  It's okay, it's okay.

• 34:14Speaker 02

  Sort of Italian.

• 34:16Speaker 03

  Yeah, like, um.

• 34:17Speaker 02

  Giuseppe.

• 34:18Speaker 03

  Yeah, that's it, Sep Blatter, that's a.

• 34:23Speaker 02

  Was his first name Giuseppe?

• 34:25Speaker 03

  Yeah, so it's the, um, and there's also Yusuf, which is the kind of, I guess, the kind of, um, Arabic, is that right? Version of, of Joseph, so.

• 34:35Speaker 02

  Also, Jesus's dad, well.

• 34:39Speaker 03

  He wasn't really, was he?

• 34:40Speaker 02

  No.

• 34:40Speaker 03

  Well.

• 34:40Speaker 02

  He, he, all he did was bring him up.

• 34:43Speaker 03

  Good point in a way, he was in that.

• 34:44Speaker 02

  Teach him carpentry and all that.

• 34:45Speaker 03

  He was in that workshop every day.

• 34:47Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 34:48Speaker 03

  What thanks did he get? Doesn't even get his name on the.

• 34:50Speaker 02

  Do you reckon Jesus ever went, you're not even my real dad?

• 34:53Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 34:54Speaker 02

  Do you reckon he ever said that to him?

• 34:56Speaker 03

  I've got to be honest.

• 34:58Speaker 02

  And that, that would cut him deep.

• 35:00Speaker 03

  About God getting a woman pregnant.

• 35:02Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 35:07Speaker 03

  Is that what happened?

• 35:07Speaker 02

  It's a good one, man.

• 35:09Speaker 03

  It's a good one.

• 35:10Speaker 02

  It's a good one, it's the equiv, it's the equivalent of a bloke going on a bender for three days.

• 35:16Speaker 03

  Hmm.

• 35:17Speaker 02

  And going, oh, I was abducted by aliens.

• 35:20Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 35:20Speaker 02

  Never mind that, what about your beard? What's that?

• 35:26Speaker 02

  Did you see that flash of light? Never mind that.

• 35:29Speaker 03

  Oh, no, no, that was, no, that was a bit, he, he, yeah, he said, he went, he'd gone away.

• 35:34Speaker 02

  We're talking about Cole Pilkington again, sorry.

• 35:36Speaker 03

  And he said, he'd been abducted by aliens, and they said, never mind that, where have you been for three days? And they were like, well, you, he was on a bender, obviously, obviously that's what he was doing.

• 35:47Speaker 02

  Anyway, thanks, Tom, that's a sarcastic thanks.

• 35:50Speaker 03

  It's not a sarcastic thanks for me. Thanks, thanks, thanks, thanks, thanks, thanks, thanks, thanks.

• 35:57Speaker 02

  I honestly think that's going to make people switch off.

• 35:59Speaker 03

  It's not going to make people switch off.

• 36:01Speaker 02

  I think it will.

• 36:01Speaker 03

  Let's try, also, we haven't answered.

• 36:03Speaker 02

  If you say the same word over and over again for about twelve seconds, that, I think, I think listeners will switch off.

• 36:09Speaker 01

  They can skip.

• 36:10Speaker 02

  I think that's worse than dead air.

• 36:12Speaker 03

  I totally disagree, how often do you turn on a podcast and you just hear somebody saying, club, club, club, club, club, club, club?

• 36:20Speaker 02

  To be fair.

• 36:21Speaker 01

  The club, club.

• 36:22Speaker 02

  What was his name, David Schneider?

• 36:26Speaker 02

  Uh, from On The Hour?

• 36:29Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah.

• 36:30Speaker 02

  And he just said leaves for about a minute, and that made me laugh quite a lot.

• 36:35Speaker 03

  But he's saying that.

• 36:35Speaker 02

  Leaves.

• 36:37Speaker 03

  Basically, um.

• 36:38Speaker 02

  Leaves.

• 36:40Speaker 01

  Do you reckon leaves could work?

• 36:41Speaker 03

  You need a verb, you need a verb that can be both like reflexive and like whatever the opposite of that is, and it needs also to be.

• 36:48Speaker 02

  Depends what you need by need.

• 36:49Speaker 03

  And it, well, need, need, need, no, uh, you'd.

• 36:54Speaker 02

  Need.

• 36:55Speaker 03

  Need.

• 36:55Speaker 02

  Need a dough, you need need, yeah, no, let's not.

• 37:00Speaker 03

  Why did the, why did the baker have smelly hands? Because he needed a poo.

• 37:06Speaker 03

  It's all right, there's something else.

• 37:08Speaker 02

  Oh, did you say smelly hands?

• 37:10Speaker 03

  Yeah, smelly hands, yeah.

• 37:12Speaker 02

  I thought you said so many hands.

• 37:14Speaker 03

  So many hands?

• 37:15Speaker 02

  Why did the baker have so many hands? Because he needed a poo.

• 37:17Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 37:17Speaker 01

  Hello?

• 37:19Speaker 03

  Hello?

• 37:21Speaker 02

  Hello?

• 37:21Speaker 03

  Are there any bakers out there? Hello? Can we just have a quick think about other things that could?

• 37:26Speaker 02

  No, no, no, no.

• 37:28Speaker 01

  No, no, no.

• 37:29Speaker 02

  No.

• 37:30Speaker 01

  No.

• 37:31Speaker 02

  Let's move on, because it is time for fact check.

• 37:32Speaker 03

  About Warren Buffett and buffeting people.

• 37:37Speaker 03

  Don't Buffett Buffett.

• 37:40Speaker 03

  Let's Buffett.

• 37:42Speaker 01

  At the Buffett.

• 37:43Speaker 03

  Nah.

• 37:46Speaker 03

  So with buffalo, buffalo.

• 37:48Speaker 02

  Right, we do need to do fact check, I'm moving on, can I move on?

• 37:52Speaker 01

  Yeah, you can move on.

• 37:53Speaker 02

  Um, it is time for fact check, where we read a fact or a question that you'd like us to get to the bottom of. Then we're going to have a good think during the break and we'll come back to let you know how true it feels to us. Honestly, Joe, because I've got my facts coming up later in this episode, and that's, it's really fucking boring.

• 38:10Speaker 02

  So we can't just sit here saying buffalo for.

• 38:12Speaker 03

  I'm just trying to think of a, it, it, it's, you, you, you need, you need a verb that, that works both ways. You need a noun and you need a sort of, something that's a bit like a kind of, uh, a geographical indicator.

• 38:23Speaker 02

  Um, this week's fact check comes from Ryan, who sent us an email, Ryan says, Ryan here, right now to the fact, just lis, right.

• 38:32Speaker 03

  Yeah, good, I'm pleased with this as well, it comes from Ryan, Ryan here, right now.

• 38:37Speaker 01

  I've just put a comma in, I think that might help.

• 38:39Speaker 03

  Right now to the fact.

• 38:40Speaker 02

  Right, just listening to the episode where James talks about his bird fetish.

• 38:44Speaker 03

  Thank you for naming it, thank you for naming it.

• 38:46Speaker 02

  And it made me think of a couple of bird facts you could check, sorry to Joe, Lily May and anyone else in the, in the studio, if this gets James a bit excited.

• 38:54Speaker 03

  Well, okay.

• 38:55Speaker 02

  It's my turn to be a bit excited, to be honest, because Joe's still wanking over buffaloes. Is it true that a crow can recognise human faces? And is it also true that some birds sleep while flying? Also, a bit of a pun for pun believable, he's chucked in the pun believable for us.

• 39:12Speaker 03

  Perfect.

• 39:12Speaker 02

  In case you wanted some extra bird content, foul play instead of foul play.

• 39:18Speaker 03

  Yeah, nice.

• 39:19Speaker 02

  No, that's a, um, that's not a pun believable, that's a, that's, that's a game.

• 39:24Speaker 01

  James game.

• 39:25Speaker 03

  That's a game, yeah.

• 39:25Speaker 02

  That's a James game.

• 39:26Speaker 03

  Yeah, because it's not, yeah, it's not, um.

• 39:28Speaker 02

  We haven't fully.

• 39:29Speaker 03

  Is there a Wallace and Gromit murder most foul? I think there probably is.

• 39:32Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 39:33Speaker 03

  So that's a pun believable.

• 39:34Speaker 02

  Well, and Shaun the Sheep, that's.

• 39:36Speaker 03

  Shaun the Sheep, that's one, he loves them.

• 39:37Speaker 02

  Yeah, anyway. Uh, Ryan says, keep up the good work, which I can only assume is sarcasm. Um, right, let's have a quick break, because I've got stuff, I've obviously got stuff to say about this, we'll see you in a second.

• 39:58Speaker 00

  Hi, it's Danny Pellegrino from Everything Iconic. 12 celebrities, one Don and cold hard cash. From the producers of The Traitors comes The Mob, a new Hulu original series. The iconic Parker Posey hosts this unique reality competition show where 12 celebrity contestants shake down in an Italian villa to win a share of up to $250,000. Watch the new Hulu original series, The Mob, premiering October 26th on Hulu and Hulu on Disney+ Plus for bundle subscribers. Terms apply.

• 40:33Speaker 03

  All right, should we go straight on?

• 40:34Speaker 02

  Yeah, welcome back to Joe and James Fact Up.

• 40:36Speaker 03

  Can I just say very quickly, just because-

• 40:38Speaker 02

  Don't say Buffalo.

• 40:38Speaker 03

  I'm not gonna say it.

• 40:39Speaker 02

  Or AI.

• 40:40Speaker 03

  Just, I'm not. This is a good old fashioned one from the 1960s. I think the Beatles album Revolver is a unbelievable because it's a record and it revolves. So I think what they said is, do you know what this is? This is a revolver.

• 40:58Speaker 02

  The record is revolver.

• 40:59Speaker 03

  The record is a revolver. And they've got form. I give you, because the world is round, it turns me on. That's a unbelievable.

• 41:12Speaker 02

  Right.

• 41:13Speaker 03

  Is it because the sky is blue, it makes me sad? That's a unbelievable. So they've got form.

• 41:20Speaker 03

  They know, they know exactly what they're doing. And I'm just saying that I think that I've unearthed it.

• 41:34Speaker 01

  Should we ask Paul McCartney to get in touch?

• 41:37Speaker 03

  Yeah, can we ask? Yeah. Or, or Ringo is fine as well. I know he doesn't have fa- open, he doesn't have fan mail anymore.

• 41:43Speaker 02

  He doesn't. Please stop sending me fan mail.

• 41:46Speaker 03

  I've stopped sending me fan mail.

• 41:48Speaker 02

  Peace and love.

• 41:48Speaker 03

  Peace and love. Oh, I know packages.

• 41:50Speaker 02

  Right. We were just fact checking on behalf of Ryan, who wanted to know if it's true that a crow can recognize human faces and is it also true that some birds sleep while flying? Both true.

• 42:00Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 42:01Speaker 02

  Both true, fact.

• 42:02Speaker 03

  They can sleep while flying.

• 42:03Speaker 02

  Um, crows, I think-

• 42:06Speaker 03

  He does really know as well. Have you noticed? He, you are right. I mean, you're not, I'm just saying, you do sit, Pierce, know a lot about this.

• 42:14Speaker 03

  You do know a lot about birds.

• 42:15Speaker 02

  They're interesting creatures, the birds. Magpies are very similar. Very intelligent is the old magpie.

• 42:22Speaker 03

  They're a bit brainier than perhaps we have historically given them credit for.

• 42:27Speaker 02

  Aussies have an awful problem with magpies.

• 42:30Speaker 03

  They attack them, don't they?

• 42:30Speaker 02

  They do. And they remember who they're attacking. They remember, they remember. They were testing defenses for weaknesses.

• 42:38Speaker 03

  Brilliant. They remember.

• 42:40Speaker 02

  Right?

• 42:40Speaker 03

  That's something we should do as well.

• 42:42Speaker 02

  We should, we should-

• 42:43Speaker 03

  Maybe that should be our script up because we've, it comes up a lot.

• 42:46Speaker 02

  Oh, we've got to do a bit of Jurassic Park script up at some point.

• 42:48Speaker 01

  Noted.

• 42:49Speaker 02

  Um, so magpies.

• 42:53Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 42:54Speaker 02

  They do, um, they do recognize. So if you, if you hassled a mag, a young magpie,

• 43:04Speaker 02

  if you caused a magpie a bit of trouble, it will remember you.

• 43:09Speaker 02

  For, for the rest of its life. That's what I've heard.

• 43:13Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 43:13Speaker 02

  So I think that's true.

• 43:14Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 43:14Speaker 02

  Also, is it true that some birds sleep while flying? Yeah. What's those great, albatross? I think an albatross sleeps. Albatross, they never land.

• 43:22Speaker 03

  They never land. They sleep on the wing.

• 43:23Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 43:24Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 43:25Speaker 02

  So I'm gonna, I'm, I'm saying both, they're both fact up it hurts.

• 43:31Speaker 03

  Imagine sleeping while flying.

• 43:32Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 43:34Speaker 03

  I'm always amazed by those-

• 43:35Speaker 02

  You shouldn't, you shouldn't sleep and fly, by the way.

• 43:37Speaker 03

  No, no. Don't do buzzed, buzzed flying either.

• 43:42Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 43:45Speaker 03

  That's, yeah. I also was amazed by them, those sailors who are just like the only person on their boat. And they'll just go to, they'll go to bed for the night. Like they'll, they'll, they'll make the boat secure and then, because I'm like, what if something, I just don't think I could if I was the only person on a boat.

• 44:01Speaker 02

  I don't think they go to bed for the night. I think they have like two hour naps and stuff.

• 44:07Speaker 03

  They don't.

• 44:08Speaker 02

  They don't just wake up at seven.

• 44:09Speaker 03

  They watch a box or something.

• 44:12Speaker 02

  They don't just, right?

• 44:14Speaker 03

  Could you get a delivery room?

• 44:15Speaker 02

  10 o'clock, it's bedtime now. So if I go to bed now, I'll probably fall asleep about 11, wake up at seven.

• 44:19Speaker 03

  They're trying to get eight hours. Yeah. Yeah. And then go back to work.

• 44:23Speaker 02

  I think they have little-

• 44:24Speaker 03

  They have little-

• 44:25Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 44:25Speaker 03

  Okay, okay.

• 44:27Speaker 02

  I'm just assuming.

• 44:28Speaker 03

  They probably, yeah, they probably don't sleep, they probably don't have lions, I imagine. They, um, but, um, God, imagine sleeping on the wing.

• 44:35Speaker 02

  Let's, um, let's throw it over to Queen Lily May to get the Queen's consent. I've said that they, I've, I've, I've not even bothered to ask Joe, his opinion.

• 44:43Speaker 03

  Well, I'm still trying to think of, um, a word.

• 44:45Speaker 02

  Yeah. I know you are as well. I'm too, do you know what? Do you know what situation we're in, Joe?

• 44:51Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 44:51Speaker 02

  We're doing a podcast now where me and you have to have conversations and I'm too scared to engage you in a conversation right now because I think you're gonna go on about fucking words that you can say over and-

• 45:00Speaker 03

  The quickest way to get me out of it is to come up with something that's both a place and a verb.

• 45:04Speaker 02

  Stop.

• 45:05Speaker 01

  Listeners can do that. We can get them to get, send some in.

• 45:08Speaker 02

  No.

• 45:09Speaker 01

  No?

• 45:09Speaker 02

  We're done with the-

• 45:10Speaker 03

  French have potential because if you French someone as in you kiss them.

• 45:13Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 45:14Speaker 03

  But you might also be French, but it's not, it's not, you know, it's not a noun.

• 45:19Speaker 02

  Someone who's from France could be a, could, their nickname could be French.

• 45:24Speaker 01

  Could mean Dawn French.

• 45:25Speaker 03

  Dawn French.

• 45:25Speaker 02

  French, Dawn French. French, French.

• 45:28Speaker 03

  French.

• 45:30Speaker 02

  No, stop. What are we having?

• 45:33Speaker 03

  But and there's a plural, there's a plural as well. That's the thing. That's the thing. There's a plural. Buffalo works because it's-

• 45:42Speaker 02

  I'm gonna be sick.

• 45:44Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 45:45Speaker 03

  It's quite a specific-

• 45:46Speaker 02

  It's making me physically sick.

• 45:47Speaker 03

  -consolation of, uh, you need, yeah.

• 45:51Speaker 02

  This is winding me up.

• 45:53Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 45:54Speaker 01

  I'm gonna fall out on your 50th.

• 45:57Speaker 03

  Oh God, where's birthday party? There's always fights at a birthday party.

• 46:00Speaker 02

  I'm gonna fucking knock you out.

• 46:03Speaker 01

  Okay, so according to the National Wildlife Federation, um, crows can distinguish faces in a crowd. So they can differentiate between faces. So I'm willing to consider that a fact. And I don't think it's all birds, but crows-

• 46:21Speaker 02

  He said crows.

• 46:22Speaker 01

  Are, are listed such. So ding ding ding on that. Um, and then nature.com I've looked at and they say that birds can fly while sleeping. But what they do is they have like one eye closed and one cerebral hemisphere at a time. Yeah. So they're basically like half sleeping on one side and then they'll swap. They did say that there are studies that have shown that some, um, frigate birds have been flying-

• 46:54Speaker 02

  Frigate?

• 46:54Speaker 01

  Oh, is that what it is?

• 46:55Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 46:56Speaker 01

  Frigate birds have flown over the ocean for up to 10 days and they've been seen to sleep with one hemisphere or both simultaneously, which I think is interesting.

• 47:05Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 47:06Speaker 01

  So, yeah.

• 47:06Speaker 02

  Also, just to add on that, I think there's a, um, what are those little, um, I'm so tired, Joe.

• 47:13Speaker 03

  No, no, go on.

• 47:14Speaker 02

  My brain's gone. Honestly, my brain's gone.

• 47:16Speaker 03

  Rans, finches?

• 47:17Speaker 02

  No, not, I'm not thinking of a bird. My brain was already quite tired before we started this and the buffalo thing has-

• 47:23Speaker 03

  Okay, well, don't blame me. Blame Thomas Joseph.

• 47:27Speaker 02

  No, I am blaming you a little bit and I am also blaming Thomas Joseph as well.

• 47:31Speaker 03

  Well, me and him are almost like one of those kind of, was it a man, a plan?

• 47:37Speaker 02

  Stop.

• 47:37Speaker 03

  A canal. And Panama.

• 47:40Speaker 02

  What are they called? Those little dogs of the sea?

• 47:43Speaker 03

  Seals.

• 47:43Speaker 02

  Seals, yeah.

• 47:46Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 47:47Speaker 02

  I think there are some seals that sleep underwater and their brain goes into auto mode and every sort of 10 minutes or so, they just float to the top and then they just float back down again.

• 47:57Speaker 03

  That's cool. That's cool.

• 47:59Speaker 02

  I feel like I'm sleeping underwater at the moment.

• 48:01Speaker 03

  Have you, have you, have you seen, um, there's a, there's been a little bit of a flicker of a buzz around freediving? That these people who dive, you can do it for a lot longer than you think.

• 48:11Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 48:12Speaker 03

  And they love it.

• 48:13Speaker 02

  Yeah, you can train your lungs.

• 48:14Speaker 03

  They go down and like after about 18 minutes, like the spleen releases a kind of emergency load of really oxygenated blood. Basically, you're, you're sort of making your body think it's dying.

• 48:23Speaker 02

  Yeah, you come to the-

• 48:24Speaker 03

  And then-

• 48:24Speaker 02

  They don't do 18 minutes, do they?

• 48:26Speaker 03

  They honestly do. Some of them, some of these records are mental. There's more than 20.

• 48:30Speaker 02

  What's the longest person, someone's held their breath underwater, Lily May? That's a good fact. I'm sure lots of people already know, but I don't, I don't know it off the top of my head.

• 48:41Speaker 02

  Oh, while Lily May's looking up that, Joe.

• 48:44Speaker 01

  I've got it.

• 48:44Speaker 02

  Oh, you've got it. Okay.

• 48:45Speaker 01

  Um, so apparently the, the longest time someone has held their breath voluntarily is what this says.

• 48:52Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 48:52Speaker 01

  Underwater, using pure oxygen is 29 minutes and 3 seconds.

• 48:57Speaker 02

  How do you do that?

• 48:58Speaker 03

  Using pure oxygen though. What does that mean? Use, oh, that, I think that's that they, they breathe oxygen.

• 49:04Speaker 01

  Yes, 10 minutes before diving.

• 49:06Speaker 02

  So they suck pure oxygen?

• 49:09Speaker 03

  Yeah, I don't, I don't think that's considered like kind of-

• 49:13Speaker 02

  It's not pure, no?

• 49:14Speaker 03

  Yes, that's, yes, exactly.

• 49:16Speaker 02

  That's not in the, that's not cricket. It's not in the spirit of the game.

• 49:18Speaker 03

  I think that's not, I'm not sure that would win you a competition.

• 49:21Speaker 02

  Did you see that bloke, um, in the, that local cricket team get done for clicking his fingers?

• 49:29Speaker 03

  Oh god.

• 49:32Speaker 02

  Everyone's gone, everyone's like, no, no, not on my watch. Like, everyone's like dead against it.

• 49:36Speaker 03

  I know.

• 49:37Speaker 02

  I was like, no, that's quite funny, yeah.

• 49:40Speaker 03

  I think you probably have to say you shouldn't do that, but the pylon.

• 49:46Speaker 02

  Well, that's the thing. That is the thing about cricket. It's a very, it's a strange sport.

• 49:51Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 49:51Speaker 02

  Where, whereas even like sports like football and it's like, you know, it's very much nowadays, you know, see what you can get away with, the dark arts, what can you get away with?

• 50:04Speaker 03

  Yeah, which I, oh, oh, by the way, also, I just, I, I really hate all that.

• 50:09Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 50:09Speaker 03

  That sense of like, oh, it's, it's like cheating, what they're talking about.

• 50:13Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, what they're talking about is, yeah, yeah, it's cheating but getting away with it.

• 50:17Speaker 03

  Cheating but getting away with it.

• 50:18Speaker 02

  What can you get away with?

• 50:19Speaker 03

  Like.

• 50:19Speaker 02

  And cricket has upheld, it's been a bastion of sort of sportsmanship and, uh, and fair play and winning the right way.

• 50:28Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 50:28Speaker 02

  And like winning but not doing it the right way, that's not winning.

• 50:32Speaker 03

  Also, there was a sense that, you know, you would, a, a batsman would walk.

• 50:36Speaker 02

  That's it, yeah, a lot, it, it's a lot of trust playing cricket, because even if like the weather's quite shit, you have to sort of go, well, you can like declare and stuff like that, or you can be like, I think we'd probably have got, if you look at our run rate, we probably would have got to this amount. So, like, it's a lot of sort of, um.

• 50:53Speaker 03

  Yeah, there's a sense of like, you don't just treat the other side as like, they're just your enemy and you should do everything you can.

• 51:04Speaker 02

  To destroy them.

• 51:05Speaker 03

  To destroy them, yeah.

• 51:06Speaker 02

  And, and so, yeah, when, when this, like, just the local cricket team, it's been in the news and everything and it's just, and it's just, and everyone's up in arms going, not, that's not my cricket.

• 51:17Speaker 03

  They've gone back through their records and like, there's, there's, they've had all these like caught behinds, there are, there are a lot of them, to be fair.

• 51:25Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 51:25Speaker 03

  That, that wicket keeper has taken a lot of catches.

• 51:27Speaker 02

  Right.

• 51:28Speaker 03

  It's just a bit weird that it kind of, that it works in a way. I wouldn't have thought, how lousy cricket.

• 51:34Speaker 02

  Well, that's why, that's why you've got to get the, um, that's why when you get to a certain level of like test cricket, in international cricket and stuff like that, they use the snick-o and, and things like that.

• 51:45Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 51:45Speaker 02

  Cause.

• 51:46Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 51:47Speaker 02

  I suppose it is important.

• 51:49Speaker 03

  Yeah. No, I think, I think it becomes a bit weird if, if everyone's just trying to cheat all the time, because that's just like,

• 52:00Speaker 03

  you know, the, the phrase I always say is part of the game, and I would say it's literally the opposite of the game. The game only exists because that stuff is excluded, I would have thought. Isn't that, it's like saying, handling the ball is part of football, the game.

• 52:17Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 52:17Speaker 03

  It's just like, it's just not true, is it? It just isn't true.

• 52:22Speaker 02

  What were we talking about?

• 52:23Speaker 03

  Um.

• 52:24Speaker 02

  Did we, did we do fact?

• 52:25Speaker 01

  We've done fact check.

• 52:26Speaker 02

  We've done fact check.

• 52:27Speaker 01

  I've confirmed it is, it is so fact it hurts, I believe.

• 52:30Speaker 03

  It's so fact it hurts.

• 52:31Speaker 02

  So fact it hurts.

• 52:32Speaker 03

  And the crows.

• 52:33Speaker 02

  Jesus. Oh god, Joe, we've got my facts now.

• 52:36Speaker 03

  Yeah, I actually.

• 52:37Speaker 02

  This is such a shame for the fiftieth.

• 52:39Speaker 03

  It's incredibly, it's incredibly long.

• 52:41Speaker 02

  I know, I copied and pasted some stuff.

• 52:43Speaker 03

  And what, and, and what did we say about the, um,

• 52:45Speaker 02

  Well, don't you, also don't you.

• 52:46Speaker 03

  Again, they can. Oh yeah, you say crows can, but not all necessarily all birds.

• 52:49Speaker 02

  Did you read my facts then? Cause I wanted it, I, I.

• 52:53Speaker 03

  No, I just saw, I saw, I sometimes give the script to read before we go in and.

• 52:57Speaker 02

  Right, don't look at my facts, cause I've got a question. Right, it's time for James's facts.

• 53:01Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 53:01Speaker 02

  I've got a question for you, Joe. How many, um, people, um, live in the city of London, do you think?

• 53:08Speaker 03

  Well, I used to live in the city of London.

• 53:10Speaker 02

  Oh, bollocks.

• 53:11Speaker 01

  So definitely one.

• 53:12Speaker 03

  And one of the interesting things about the city of London is that it's the only place in the world, first of all, the city of London has its own government, which is run by the Lord Mayor of London, which is different to the mayor. So it's like a city within a city. And the people who vote for this Lord Mayor, I think I'm right in saying, you're allowed to vote on the basis that you're a business within the city of London.

• 53:32Speaker 02

  How many, uh, employees you have?

• 53:35Speaker 03

  Yeah, and, and some of these wards, they're all called things like Saint Barnabas Without. Uh, I think some of them, they're literally uncontested, as in no one even stands. And, um, yeah, so that's the, um, that's, yeah.

• 53:52Speaker 02

  Because you're such a clever clogs.

• 53:53Speaker 03

  Right.

• 53:54Speaker 02

  You've ruined it.

• 53:54Speaker 03

  Well, no, no, but I'm just saying, I, I don't know. I imagine it swells with all the, the bankers and.

• 54:01Speaker 02

  If I was to tell you the city of London, its resident population is around ten, nine to 10,000 people.

• 54:10Speaker 03

  I actually would not be too surprised because.

• 54:12Speaker 02

  Would that knock your socks off?

• 54:13Speaker 03

  It wouldn't knock my socks off. No, no, no.

• 54:15Speaker 01

  I might flip that, but.

• 54:16Speaker 03

  It's still, it's still interesting because even though I, I mean, uh, cause I lived, um.

• 54:20Speaker 02

  I forgot that you lived in the city of London.

• 54:22Speaker 03

  In the Barbican, which is maybe the only large.

• 54:24Speaker 02

  I completely forgot that.

• 54:25Speaker 03

  Sort of bit of housing inside the city of London.

• 54:28Speaker 02

  This was a fact that I learnt just this week, by the way.

• 54:31Speaker 03

  No, it's pretty amazing though, because it makes, it makes the city of London rather unusual place because it's a place in which.

• 54:38Speaker 02

  Well, it goes back to.

• 54:39Speaker 03

  IMO, the interests of residents are, may be outvoted by the interests of.

• 54:46Speaker 02

  Companies.

• 54:46Speaker 03

  Companies, basically.

• 54:47Speaker 02

  So, the city of London, uh, has its own special rules and laws that go back to medieval times.

• 54:56Speaker 03

  Yep.

• 54:56Speaker 02

  Um, the city of London actually only has about 9,000 people living in it.

• 55:01Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 55:02Speaker 02

  Which is nuts when hundreds of thousands of people commute into it every day. So during the working day, the population can swell to well over half a million people, even though there's only about 9,000 people living there.

• 55:15Speaker 03

  It's incredible. Like, sort of like Venice or something.

• 55:17Speaker 02

  Um, it was something, oh Christ, Joe, I fucked, I fucked, and I've ruined the fiftieth episode.

• 55:25Speaker 03

  You haven't.

• 55:26Speaker 02

  It goes, it goes back to medieval times where they, they were trying to stop the, the monarch from having too much fucking mucking about with shit.

• 55:33Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 55:34Speaker 02

  Right? Even to this day, even though it's not law, but ceremonially, the king still asks for permission to enter the city of London.

• 55:44Speaker 03

  Wow.

• 55:45Speaker 02

  Um, it has its own police force, did you say that earlier?

• 55:49Speaker 03

  No, I didn't.

• 55:50Speaker 02

  Um, the city of London police is completely separate from the Metropolitan Police Service.

• 55:53Speaker 03

  From the Met, yeah.

• 55:54Speaker 02

  Um, it has its own Lord, Lord Mayor, which is different to the Mayor of London. Um, businesses get to vote. One of the city's most unusual features is that many businesses can appoint voters in local elections. Um, since only about 9,000 people live there, but hundreds of thousands work there, companies are giving a say in the governance of the city through a unique voting system.

• 56:14Speaker 03

  Absolutely. And when I was there, it was very much a case of, do you want to build a massive new office block, even though there's loads of empty office blocks here? And the answer was always yes.

• 56:22Speaker 02

  Um, it's governed by a medieval institution. The City of London Corporation traces its origins back to many centuries and. It's sort of like a really old, ancient.

• 56:34Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 56:35Speaker 02

  Um, Home Owners Association. So, you know those things they do in America? Where if you move into a street and you buy the house and it's your house and you've, you've bought it and everything, the street, um, has rules.

• 56:50Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 56:50Speaker 02

  So you can't just put like, a couch out on the front lawn and stuff like that. You get, you get fined and things like that. You get these homeowners associations that are really, like, they're really fucking.

• 57:01Speaker 03

  No, they are, they're quite, um.

• 57:02Speaker 02

  Fascistic.

• 57:03Speaker 03

  Yeah. No, there was, no, there was a thing, um.

• 57:06Speaker 02

  Which I think is bizarre in a country like America, which is all about freedom and rights and my, my personal space. And you're not, you're not allowed to enter my home.

• 57:16Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 57:16Speaker 02

  Um, you will get shot. That's, they've got that attitude, but then they've also got these home, H, what do they call it? H O A E's or something. Um, where these people, they meet up in the community centre.

• 57:29Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 57:30Speaker 02

  One, once or twice a month or something like that to talk, discuss new laws and things that they're gonna.

• 57:36Speaker 03

  Well, no, it's an interesting, cause it's very, it's very libertarian, but also very, um, sort of heritage driven. Uh, and I think heritage is something that is quite difficult to organise just on the basis of a load of like randomly acting individuals. So those two things I think probably do pull in opposite directions to some extent.

• 57:54Speaker 02

  But just.

• 57:54Speaker 03

  Yes, the city of London is, is a little like that as well. And obviously Barbican is listed, so you weren't allowed to do much to it.

• 58:01Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 58:01Speaker 03

  Which I agree with, I think, is a, I think it's a beautiful piece of architecture.

• 58:05Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 58:05Speaker 03

  And, um, but yeah, you couldn't even put in like double glazing, uh, as a result of which it could be quite cold, which is surprising to say at the moment. Uh, yeah, it could be damp as well, yeah.

• 58:18Speaker 02

  But the, um, so, let, just to clarify, I was trying to catch you out because I said the city of London.

• 58:24Speaker 03

  And you thought I might think.

• 58:25Speaker 02

  I thought you might fall for it.

• 58:26Speaker 03

  No, no, but I know it, yeah, it's.

• 58:27Speaker 02

  Um, but the city of London has about nine to 10,000 residents. Greater London, made up of the 32 London boroughs, plus the city of London.

• 58:36Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 58:37Speaker 02

  Comes in at nine million residents.

• 58:39Speaker 03

  That's unbelievable. So it's a thou, it's a thousandth of the population.

• 58:43Speaker 02

  Yeah. But then you get your London metropolitan area, which is sort of, I assume, like where I grew up, sort of zone five on the tube.

• 58:53Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 58:53Speaker 02

  Um, that then swells the, uh, the population to over 14 million people.

• 58:58Speaker 03

  Bloody hell.

• 59:00Speaker 02

  All those people that are just sort of inside the M25.

• 59:03Speaker 03

  That's right.

• 59:04Speaker 02

  Um.

• 59:04Speaker 03

  It does, it does, you know, it, it dominates, doesn't it? It does dominate. I always think it's a bit of a shame we don't have, and I think it's why it's interesting to try and various different governments have tried to kind of, you know, make it a bit more even in terms of the north and the south. You know, I feel like the Johnson government sort of spoke about doing it, Burnham's spoken about doing it, but we do have this natural kind of gravitation or pull towards London, which I think is probably a bit of a problem, to be honest.

• 59:33Speaker 02

  I think so.

• 59:33Speaker 03

  I don't think it's right for one city to, and if you go in America, you've got like east coast cities and west coast cities.

• 59:40Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 59:41Speaker 03

  Uh, that have like equal clout and a few in the middle, but they are not as important.

• 59:48Speaker 02

  Also, I try not to get, um, like offended when like northerners slag off southerners and stuff, cause I don't think they actually mean southerners.

• 59:55Speaker 03

  They don't.

• 59:56Speaker 02

  I think, I think they mean Westminster. But I'll tell you something that's, that confuses me nowadays is when I grew up, I like, so I grew up in Dagenham.

• 1:00:04Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:00:05Speaker 02

  And that, I, as far as I'm concerned, I grew up in Essex.

• 1:00:09Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:00:09Speaker 02

  Cause Dagenham is in, is, is in Essex.

• 1:00:11Speaker 03

  I would have said so, yeah.

• 1:00:12Speaker 02

  You see stuff, it's like Dagenham East London, Dagenham Romford East London.

• 1:00:18Speaker 02

  I'm like, that's not London.

• 1:00:20Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:00:21Speaker 02

  You can still drive in it. You can like drive to places and park your car and stuff and.

• 1:00:25Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:00:26Speaker 02

  It's not London.

• 1:00:27Speaker 03

  No, I don't, I wouldn't think of, I would think of that as like West Essex.

• 1:00:32Speaker 02

  I always thought that once you got to, let's have a look, I'm in Dagenham, get in my car.

• 1:00:39Speaker 03

  Chigwell, I think Chigwell.

• 1:00:40Speaker 02

  Chigwell's not London.

• 1:00:41Speaker 03

  It's got a tube station.

• 1:00:42Speaker 02

  It's on the Central Line. That's fucking nuts.

• 1:00:45Speaker 03

  Although Epping's on the Central Line.

• 1:00:46Speaker 02

  Yeah, that's insane. That's a forest. That's not London.

• 1:00:48Speaker 03

  Yeah, that's true. So it can't be the tube. It's not the tube. It's not the tube.

• 1:00:52Speaker 02

  But.

• 1:00:53Speaker 03

  Tube's a bit biased as well, isn't it? Cause it's like, there's loads north and not very much south.

• 1:00:57Speaker 02

  No, south of the river, yeah.

• 1:00:58Speaker 03

  South of the river tube is like, uh.

• 1:01:00Speaker 02

  I think it's more difficult to build, build, build tunnels south of the Thames. There's something in that. Maybe I'll look that up and that might be my thing next week. There's something about the clay or something.

• 1:01:12Speaker 03

  It's all a bit on clay. Well, maybe not all. You know, that's what you're saying. Isn't it chalk? Does it get chalkier as you go south and then?

• 1:01:21Speaker 02

  I don't know. There's something about south of the river. What's the geological, um.

• 1:01:26Speaker 03

  It's difficult to.

• 1:01:26Speaker 02

  There's something about it. But I do, I do know the reason why London doesn't look like New York or something like that. Why we don't. I mean, the last sort of twenty five years, twenty years or so, we have had a lot of skyscrapers and stuff. But is because the London ground is quite soft. It's not good. It's no good.

• 1:01:44Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 1:01:45Speaker 02

  So New York, for example, it's super hard.

• 1:01:48Speaker 03

  Yeah, that's like hard. Yeah, it is, isn't it? Yeah.

• 1:01:50Speaker 02

  So you can build up.

• 1:01:51Speaker 03

  I'm actually reading about when that came about, like geologically, it was like, there was a huge series of volcanic eruptions and like all the way to like the Appalachians is just like.

• 1:02:00Speaker 02

  What a shame this episode's been, eh? Lily May.

• 1:02:02Speaker 03

  No, we're doing all right.

• 1:02:03Speaker 01

  You know what? I, I, I'm an ignorant northerner, so I'm, I'm learning about all this stuff about London now.

• 1:02:08Speaker 02

  Yeah, but it's not interesting though, is it?

• 1:02:09Speaker 03

  No, we're doing all right.

• 1:02:10Speaker 02

  It's not entertaining.

• 1:02:11Speaker 03

  No, this is good. I like this is.

• 1:02:13Speaker 01

  I'm actually learning for once.

• 1:02:14Speaker 03

  James, what's more interesting than me talking about where I used to live?

• 1:02:17Speaker 02

  I know. I'm doing the same as well. I'm talking about where I grew up.

• 1:02:20Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:02:21Speaker 03

  What's, what's wrong with that?

• 1:02:22Speaker 02

  I know. Um, Joe, before we go, I've got to mention this. Luke has got in touch with us. Um, with, uh, via the Fact Up WhatsApp. And he wants us to talk about, you know, I think this was the first episode, wasn't it?

• 1:02:36Speaker 03

  It really was. It really was.

• 1:02:37Speaker 02

  And now we're on the fiftieth. He wants to talk about the dildo tubes.

• 1:02:41Speaker 03

  Oh, well, I think Luke saved this entire series.

• 1:02:43Speaker 02

  One more time. Um, Luke says, hi guys. I've got an interesting fact for you that relates to something you've previously spoke about. Through my work, I visit a ton of different places every day. Today I visited an Ikea and needed a set of keys from them. Imagine my surprise when I was told, head down to the room and go inside and we'll send the keys down to you. I had only one thought, dildo tubes.

• 1:03:09Speaker 03

  Good.

• 1:03:09Speaker 02

  Much to my enjoyment, I was right. Ikea still used the pneumatic tube system to send things around the building. Now imagine my absolute pleasure when I got to send the keys back through the dildo tube.

• 1:03:20Speaker 03

  You've got to send them back.

• 1:03:22Speaker 02

  Thought you might enjoy this as much as I did. Keep up the good work, lads. Absolutely love the dross that you've been supplying weekly from Luke.

• 1:03:28Speaker 03

  Oh, Luke, thank you.

• 1:03:29Speaker 02

  Thanks, Luke.

• 1:03:30Speaker 01

  He did send a video. If you want me to play the video.

• 1:03:32Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:03:33Speaker 03

  Oh, yes. Oh, yeah.

• 1:03:34Speaker 01

  It's, it's only, it's only short.

• 1:03:35Speaker 02

  There's no way I'm gonna be able to see it.

• 1:03:37Speaker 03

  I can see it.

• 1:03:38Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:03:40Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 1:03:42Speaker 02

  Is it out of focus?

• 1:03:43Speaker 01

  It's a bit, it's a bit, I don't want to slag off his phone, but it, it does look like it's been recorded on a potato. Yeah.

• 1:03:49Speaker 02

  Right, okay. Thanks for that, Luke. Appreciate that, man.

• 1:03:52Speaker 03

  I mean, that's great. I mean, I, they're really great. I just think this, there's a little button and it's just, it's, it's great.

• 1:03:58Speaker 02

  I thought we were coming to the end of this episode. We're not, because we've got another message from Kevin via the Fact Up WhatsApp. Uh, Kevin says, hey, Joe, James, Queen Lily May, and everyone who listens. Hello. Hello. Um, going off Cameron's hole digging from last episode, I have a question for you to ponder. Is there any place on earth where you could dig a hole straight through the earth and wind up in another country? Love the pod and love the facts and specifically the chats. Maybe.

• 1:04:29Speaker 03

  How could you do it?

• 1:04:30Speaker 02

  Maybe somewhere in Alaska.

• 1:04:32Speaker 03

  Well, what about this? I know, cause there's not, I was gonna say north to south, but the Arctic.

• 1:04:38Speaker 02

  The poles.

• 1:04:39Speaker 03

  But the Arctic isn't, there's no land under it. It's just ice for now.

• 1:04:44Speaker 02

  But you can dig through ice, can't you?

• 1:04:47Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:04:47Speaker 02

  Can drill through ice.

• 1:04:48Speaker 03

  Yeah, but I don't think that, I don't think that, I don't think that counts.

• 1:04:51Speaker 02

  Right, what about?

• 1:04:51Speaker 03

  That would have occurred to him. He's not a complete moron.

• 1:04:54Speaker 02

  Would?

• 1:04:55Speaker 03

  He's sort of that.

• 1:04:56Speaker 02

  Would the middle of Russia make you pop out, uh, in, in Canada or something?

• 1:05:04Speaker 03

  I think you have to do the full diameter of the earth. I don't think you can just do a slice of, like, I don't think you can go like.

• 1:05:12Speaker 02

  In my head.

• 1:05:12Speaker 03

  If it's like that, I don't think you can go, like.

• 1:05:16Speaker 02

  In my head, I'm trying to think of that map that they use to show how close Russia is to America.

• 1:05:23Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:05:23Speaker 02

  You know, when we look at the map, it's like that, isn't it? But then when you use that map, it's like they're just, they're just across the North Pole from each other.

• 1:05:28Speaker 03

  There's a thing they do to maps to flatten it.

• 1:05:31Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:05:31Speaker 03

  And it makes certain countries that mass, and particularly Greenland is not.

• 1:05:36Speaker 02

  It's what you told me this. Is it the Anderson projection or something like that?

• 1:05:38Speaker 03

  Something like that. Yeah. So basically the ones that are close to the poles get really stretched out and then the ones that are in the middle get a short change.

• 1:05:45Speaker 02

  So like Greenland looks like, looks like a whole continent.

• 1:05:46Speaker 03

  Greenland looks massive. India gets a little bit diddled, like India.

• 1:05:50Speaker 02

  Africa does as well, I think.

• 1:05:51Speaker 03

  Africa gets diddled as well. Yeah.

• 1:05:54Speaker 02

  And maybe South America as well.

• 1:05:56Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:05:56Speaker 02

  Because people don't appreciate how fucking massive Brazil is sometimes.

• 1:05:59Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:06:01Speaker 02

  Cause it looks like half the size of America.

• 1:06:03Speaker 03

  It looks like, um, just like a sandwich within a sandwich. It's just like, it's a bite of, do you know what I mean?

• 1:06:09Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:06:09Speaker 03

  It's like, it's a bigger, South America's basically just a bigger version of Brazil.

• 1:06:14Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:06:14Speaker 03

  Just been expanded out, left and.

• 1:06:17Speaker 02

  Down a bit.

• 1:06:17Speaker 03

  Left and down a bit. Um, my, my favourite, my favourite one's Chile. That's.

• 1:06:21Speaker 02

  Do you, I was about to, I was about to mention Chile. Chile's a weird shaped country.

• 1:06:26Speaker 03

  So weird. Just have one strip.

• 1:06:28Speaker 02

  It's just like a little slither of a country.

• 1:06:30Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:06:30Speaker 02

  I'm sure it isn't, but when you look at the map, you're like, oh, that's silly.

• 1:06:35Speaker 03

  It does seem a bit silly.

• 1:06:36Speaker 02

  Why don't you just make that the whole of Argentina? Why don't just Argentina and Brazil just go to the other end?

• 1:06:39Speaker 03

  Even though I know it's not, I imagine if I went to Chile, I'd just be able to be like, touch both sides of it at the same time. Do you know what I mean? Like even, I appreciate it probably.

• 1:06:48Speaker 02

  Yeah, you wouldn't, you'd have to sleep north to south.

• 1:06:51Speaker 03

  You would, yeah. That's right. They've got one road. Yeah.

• 1:06:55Speaker 02

  Your head would get wet and your feet would stick out of the country.

• 1:06:59Speaker 03

  That's right.

• 1:07:00Speaker 02

  Right. Can we end this?

• 1:07:02Speaker 03

  Well, do we have, can we, let's at least have a, have a go at answering this.

• 1:07:07Speaker 02

  Yeah, I think, I think the middle of Russia. I need a, I think the middle of Russia, you might come out in Af- in Africa.

• 1:07:14Speaker 03

  South America.

• 1:07:14Speaker 02

  That would be mental. Um, you'd come out in, uh, Canada.

• 1:07:19Speaker 03

  Not Canada, no, you have, I think, cause then you're just going north to north. I think you have to do the full, how wide is the earth?

• 1:07:25Speaker 02

  Oh, so you, you're saying we need to drill through the equator?

• 1:07:28Speaker 03

  You have to travel through the equator.

• 1:07:29Speaker 02

  So it is, ah, no, because it get, it gets really thin around the equator. Apart from Africa, which is the great, which is probably the fattest bit of chunk of, of land.

• 1:07:41Speaker 03

  No, no, I don't know. I'm not saying you have, no, you don't have to go through the equator, but you do have to go through the middle. So what I mean is that.

• 1:07:47Speaker 02

  He's just saying if you dig from one hole, ah, and also I'm not, yeah.

• 1:07:51Speaker 03

  Well, if it's just straight through the earth, then what I would do is I'd go to the South Pole and I'd just go down a little bit and just take.

• 1:07:58Speaker 02

  I know what you're saying. Sorry, Joe. My brain is fucked. My brain has gone fucked. I do think.

• 1:08:02Speaker 03

  That's right. We're doing some, this is hard science.

• 1:08:04Speaker 02

  I do think maybe Russia though, and you might pop out in Chile.

• 1:08:08Speaker 03

  Yeah, I think Russia is Chile.

• 1:08:09Speaker 02

  That would be an ama- that'd be amazing shot.

• 1:08:11Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:08:11Speaker 02

  If you manage to find Chile from the other side.

• 1:08:13Speaker 03

  If you manage to pick out Chile.

• 1:08:14Speaker 02

  That thin little tiny.

• 1:08:15Speaker 03

  Oh, my goodness. Yeah.

• 1:08:16Speaker 02

  Slither of land.

• 1:08:18Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:08:19Speaker 02

  Yeah, cause obviously if you, if you, if you go through Russia, you'll come out the south somewhere.

• 1:08:22Speaker 03

  That's right. I think that's the rule. Yeah. And I think you have to go through the middle.

• 1:08:26Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:08:26Speaker 03

  Um, Russia to Chile.

• 1:08:28Speaker 02

  Yeah, something like that. But you, I think you'd just come out in the Pacific.

• 1:08:33Speaker 03

  It's, you know what? It, it.

• 1:08:35Speaker 02

  If you're lucky, you might pop out at one of the, um.

• 1:08:41Speaker 03

  Galapagos or something.

• 1:08:43Speaker 02

  I was gonna say.

• 1:08:44Speaker 03

  I tell you what, I tell you what I might do.

• 1:08:45Speaker 02

  I was gonna say Jonah.

• 1:08:46Speaker 03

  This is what I'd do. I'd start on a tiny island in the middle of the Pacific.

• 1:08:52Speaker 02

  And then try and get to Russia, work your way back.

• 1:08:54Speaker 03

  Yeah, so start, yeah, so don't start, you can control where you start.

• 1:08:58Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:08:58Speaker 03

  Arguably you can control your end as well, but I, I don't know. So I'd start on the Galapagos, then go through the middle. Then I really think I am coming out.

• 1:09:08Speaker 02

  In Russia, do you think?

• 1:09:09Speaker 03

  It may be in, somewhere in the, in Eurasia generally. Yeah, somewhere in the Eurasian landmass.

• 1:09:15Speaker 02

  Yeah, cause you've got a lot there, innit?

• 1:09:16Speaker 03

  You've got a lot to aim at there. You've got a lot to aim at.

• 1:09:18Speaker 02

  A lot of China.

• 1:09:19Speaker 03

  Yeah, you've got a lot of India. You've got, yeah, you've got a lot. You've got, you've got a lot there. That's what we're saying.

• 1:09:25Speaker 02

  India will be too south, I think.

• 1:09:28Speaker 03

  Big coun- yeah, yeah, it might, but you could, that's what we're saying. So.

• 1:09:31Speaker 02

  You was gonna say country, right?

• 1:09:33Speaker 03

  I would say country. Yeah, that's good.

• 1:09:36Speaker 02

  I thought I mentioned India and you said big cunts.

• 1:09:39Speaker 03

  Can't be weird, big cunts. They're big cunts.

• 1:09:42Speaker 02

  Lily May, have you got anything to help us out with this?

• 1:09:45Speaker 01

  Uh, yeah. So, um, we've had a little dig of major land to land digging areas. So Argentina to China, it's a pretty big one.

• 1:09:55Speaker 02

  Would that work?

• 1:09:56Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 1:09:57Speaker 02

  Brilliant.

• 1:09:57Speaker 01

  Chile to China.

• 1:09:58Speaker 03

  Chile to Chi- okay, so we're, we're sort of on the right.

• 1:10:01Speaker 02

  We weren't too bad.

• 1:10:01Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:10:02Speaker 01

  Uh, Spain to New Zealand.

• 1:10:04Speaker 02

  Didn't know that one.

• 1:10:04Speaker 03

  Oh, that's, that's my favourite one.

• 1:10:07Speaker 01

  That's a nice one, isn't it?

• 1:10:08Speaker 03

  That's a nice one. Yeah.

• 1:10:09Speaker 01

  That's holiday either way. Uh.

• 1:10:11Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:10:12Speaker 01

  Greenland to, um, Antarctica.

• 1:10:16Speaker 03

  Yeah, Antarctica. Yeah.

• 1:10:17Speaker 02

  We said that was just ice though, didn't we?

• 1:10:22Speaker 01

  Uh, yes. Digging, digging from ice.

• 1:10:23Speaker 03

  Arctic. Greenland is, is.

• 1:10:26Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:10:27Speaker 03

  Uh, rock.

• 1:10:29Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:10:30Speaker 03

  So is the Antarctic.

• 1:10:30Speaker 01

  Uh, Indonesia to Brazil.

• 1:10:33Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 1:10:34Speaker 02

  A few then.

• 1:10:35Speaker 01

  Um, and then obviously you're talking about Russia. Russia you could connect to parts of Chile, as Jessica said. Um, Antarctica and Argentina.

• 1:10:43Speaker 02

  Brilliant.

• 1:10:43Speaker 03

  Nice. So we actually got it.

• 1:10:44Speaker 01

  So you'd, yeah.

• 1:10:45Speaker 03

  So Kevin, um, proceed.

• 1:10:51Speaker 02

  Thanks, Kevin. I'm all fact out, Joe. I am the most fact out I've ever been in my life.

• 1:10:57Speaker 03

  I feel like I've given you, uh, too much crap today. So sorry.

• 1:11:12Speaker 03

  No, there's, I think there were bits where I was kind of going off on it a bit and.

• 1:11:19Speaker 02

  Usually that's fine.

• 1:11:20Speaker 03

  But you're tired and I think there were bits where.

• 1:11:23Speaker 02

  Didn't get a good sleep last night.

• 1:11:25Speaker 03

  And why not?

• 1:11:26Speaker 02

  But.

• 1:11:27Speaker 03

  Hot.

• 1:11:27Speaker 02

  We hope that you've learned something today, dear listener. And we'll be back next week, armed with more facts, chats and chats, chats, chats, chats, chats, chats.

• 1:11:37Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 1:11:37Speaker 02

  And don't forget that you can get in touch with us. Anything you'd like us to fact check, um, or just something, just something.

• 1:11:44Speaker 03

  Anything, anything.

• 1:11:46Speaker 02

  What time is it? It's only four.

• 1:11:50Speaker 03

  It's quite late, isn't it?

• 1:11:50Speaker 02

  Oh dear. Yeah, but it's too early for bed.

• 1:11:55Speaker 03

  It is too early for bed, yes, but.

• 1:11:57Speaker 02

  I was literally thinking, can I go to bed yet?

• 1:11:59Speaker 03

  I don't think, I mean, I'm not sure you're ever gonna come back from that if you start.

• 1:12:02Speaker 02

  Right. Don't forget that you can get in touch with us if you'd like us to fact check something that feels true to you or whatever nonsense that you want to get to us. Our email is hello@joandjamespod.

• 1:12:11Speaker 03

  More of that club, more of those club things as well, in honesty. Just send it to me. Like, I'd give you my actual number. Just send it to me.

• 1:12:18Speaker 02

  Our WhatsApp is O seven eight two two zero three four three three zero. And you can follow us on social media at Joe and James Pod. Head to the podcast description if you've already forgotten those details, cause God knows I have. Bye, guys. We'll be back next week.

• 1:12:32Speaker 03

  Bye. Bye.

• 1:12:37Speaker 03

  Joe and James, fucked up.

• 1:12:47Speaker 00

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