Can You Live Off Just Baked Beans?

This Week Joe Thomas and James Buckley talk about who used a stunt penis on the set of The Inbetweeners, James shares which Tech bro he think he could take in a fight and Joe talks about the worst interview he ever did... Plus this week the Fact Boys explore whether you can live off a diet of just beans. GET IN TOUCH: Whatsapp us - wa.me/447822034330 http://wa.me/447822034330 Fill in our Fact Up Form - https://forms.gle/uzF6XWPqaA5aNTtN7 Subscribe on Youtube - www.youtube.com/@JoeandJamesPod/videos http://www.youtube.com/@JoeandJamesPod/videos Follow us on Instagram - www.instagram.com/joeandjamespod http://www.instagram.com/joeandjamespod Follow us on TikTok - www.tiktok.com/@joeandjamespod http://www.tiktok.com/@joeandjamespod Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy https://acast.com/privacy for more information.

• 0:00Speaker 00

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• 0:32Speaker 01

  Hello, I'm Luke Jones. And I'm Poppy Damon. We love all the strange true crime stories that you might flick through on a newspaper and think, hang on a minute. And this is Strangely, a podcast where every week we bring you the weirdest, wildest stories ripped straight from the headlines or our notebooks from both sides of the Atlantic. From the stories that you almost certainly missed in the headlines. To the ones you did see and thought, that's odd, but never got to revisit again. If you like strange news. Unexpected twists. And stories that linger on way longer than they should. Listen and subscribe now. Search for Strangely wherever you get your podcasts.

• 1:14Speaker 02

  Like, who's that guy? The shock jock? Howard Stern.

• 1:18Speaker 03

  Right.

• 1:19Speaker 02

  So Howard Stern, he was like, he was one of the biggest broadcasters in America.

• 1:24Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:24Speaker 02

  There's some sort of statistic where something mental, like half of the people tune into him because they hate him.

• 1:33Speaker 03

  Yeah. No, there definitely is that, isn't there?

• 1:36Speaker 02

  I'm just old fashioned. I just care.

• 1:39Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:39Speaker 02

  I still care about what people think about me.

• 1:42Speaker 03

  I know. I couldn't do something, well, I say that, maybe I am currently doing it, but I don't think I could do something. Well, I knew that people hated me. I just want people to like me or I just don't want to know.

• 1:54Speaker 02

  I do. I really want to be liked.

• 1:56Speaker 03

  What I really, what I really, what I really think about like.

• 1:58Speaker 02

  Are we recording? Thank god.

• 2:01Speaker 03

  People are often accused of being in like a social media bubble. But what I think is, have you fucking seen social media? Of course people are in a fucking bubble.

• 2:11Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:11Speaker 03

  You can't blame people for not wanting to be in the bit of the internet where people are just going, "You fucking cunt, you fucking cunt." Like, no, nobody wants to be in that bit. It's not a bubble, it's just like basic safety. It's of course, of course people are gonna end up in a bubble. Because the alternative is some sort of fucking hellscape where they're around people who are like shrieking abuse at them.

• 2:32Speaker 02

  Right, Joe's coming in hot.

• 2:33Speaker 03

  Alright. That's what I, that's what I think. If you're, don't worry about being in a bubble, you're allowed to be in a bubble.

• 2:39Speaker 02

  I'm in a bubble.

• 2:39Speaker 03

  I might, I might refer to bubble as like a friendship group or like, do you know what I mean?

• 2:43Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:44Speaker 03

  It's not, don't worry about it. You mean, get in a bubble, be in a bubble, it's fine.

• 2:48Speaker 02

  I'm in a bubble. I'm in my own bubble.

• 2:50Speaker 03

  Get in a bubble, get in your own bubble.

• 2:51Speaker 02

  That's how egotistical I am. Whenever someone like, whenever something I say on either this podcast or a podcast or another podcast that I've done, uh, get sort of, they take the little quote out of that.

• 3:05Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 3:05Speaker 02

  Wherever I'm trying to sort of my hardest and most of the time I fail trying to be funny. And they're like, oh, James Buckley said this. Oh, he's an idiot, isn't he? I was like, yeah, I was pretending to be an idiot just trying to make you laugh.

• 3:17Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 3:18Speaker 02

  And I get in this whole thing and I'm like, well, that's it. The whole world hates me, obviously, clearly, god. I didn't realise that people, you know, were that interested in what I had to say. And I said one stupid thing as a joke and they got taken seriously. And then, um, I say all this and then Claire just, like, one day Claire just went to me, "I don't know who you think you are. No one cares about you."

• 3:40Speaker 03

  In a way, Claire's probably right.

• 3:43Speaker 02

  She was like, "I know in your head, it feels like right now the world is attacking you." Because one newspaper has picked up on what you said and, and has made, and thirty people have commented on it.

• 3:55Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 3:56Speaker 02

  She's like, "But apart from those thirty people..." No one cares what you've got to say.

• 4:01Speaker 03

  Claire's, I mean, yeah, Claire's, Claire's right.

• 4:04Speaker 02

  Get over yourself, have a shower and come downstairs because it's dinner time.

• 4:09Speaker 03

  I, I agree with Claire frankly.

• 4:11Speaker 02

  How are you, Joe?

• 4:12Speaker 03

  I'm all right, man.

• 4:13Speaker 02

  You're all right, you're good.

• 4:14Speaker 03

  I'm good.

• 4:14Speaker 02

  You're looking good.

• 4:15Speaker 03

  Thanks, thanks very much. I ironed my T-shirt today.

• 4:18Speaker 02

  I can tell.

• 4:19Speaker 03

  You can tell that, yeah, it's right, isn't it?

• 4:20Speaker 02

  We have an ironing board and everything.

• 4:21Speaker 03

  We've got an ironing board and an iron.

• 4:23Speaker 02

  I don't have an ironing board. I do.

• 4:24Speaker 03

  We've talked about this.

• 4:25Speaker 02

  I actually do.

• 4:25Speaker 03

  You've got a steamer, haven't you?

• 4:26Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 4:27Speaker 03

  No, I'm not saying, no, once a way again.

• 4:28Speaker 02

  No, no, we can't.

• 4:29Speaker 03

  I'm not saying that.

• 4:30Speaker 02

  No, that sounds like it was a boring conversation the first time.

• 4:32Speaker 03

  It wasn't boring.

• 4:33Speaker 02

  I don't want to get back into it.

• 4:34Speaker 03

  I like conversations about laundry. I, I, I'm really into my laundry. Can we not get sponsored by a washing machine or something? I'd, I love, I love doing the laundry.

• 4:42Speaker 02

  Right. This is what we need to talk about as well because you've got your house.

• 4:45Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 4:46Speaker 02

  That's a lifelong project. We spoke about this recently, didn't we?

• 4:49Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 4:49Speaker 02

  Well, it's a multi-generational project.

• 4:51Speaker 03

  Yeah, not more than many lives, many lives.

• 4:53Speaker 02

  Your great, great grandchildren are going to be sitting on a little nest egg, which is great. It's good of you to think, be so forward thinking.

• 5:00Speaker 03

  It is good of me.

• 5:01Speaker 02

  So what we need to do is we need to position ourselves, me and you, right? Into getting you some shit for your house.

• 5:08Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 5:08Speaker 02

  That's absolutely what we should do.

• 5:09Speaker 03

  What I really need is like.

• 5:10Speaker 02

  What you need to do is you need to start an Instagram account.

• 5:15Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 5:15Speaker 02

  Call it Joe and Hannah Life or something like that. And you start an Instagram account and you will never have to pay for anything ever again.

• 5:25Speaker 03

  It's just.

• 5:25Speaker 02

  It'll just be, thanks to Dave who knocked up this kitchen for me, did a great job.

• 5:32Speaker 03

  It's us doing up the house, right? Is that the, that's the account, right? I, you know, it has, it has occurred to me, um, maybe I will. I think it's a good idea. It does need to speed up. I think, uh, uh, cause I mean, I think if we were on Instagram doing it, it would mean that we had to get it done a little bit more quickly because at the moment.

• 5:51Speaker 02

  Got a little bit of pressure on you, man.

• 5:52Speaker 03

  It's probably going to outlive Instagram as a format. So I need to get it done. There'll be something else.

• 5:58Speaker 02

  Absolutely, yeah.

• 5:59Speaker 03

  Like while, um. Was it Meta? While Meta is still a company, how long has that been? What, twenty years? I'd say at the house, at the moment, the house seems like it's gonna last more than, longer than Meta.

• 6:11Speaker 02

  Hmm. So. How old is your house, do you know?

• 6:14Speaker 03

  I believe it's eighteen ninety six.

• 6:16Speaker 02

  Right.

• 6:16Speaker 03

  Something like that.

• 6:17Speaker 02

  That's very specific.

• 6:18Speaker 03

  It's very specific. Well, no, the lady who we bought it from, she, she basically, we, we, basically, she, she showed us, she showed us round and she said, so, uh, right, what are we saying with this house? Um, I think eighteen ninety six. And straight away, I was like, yeah, I wanna buy this house. I just, that, she, I was like, you, it was, she did a very good job on me, cause it was like, I was like, I like that you know.

• 6:44Speaker 02

  I think you would have done well in the late Victorian, sort of Dickensian.

• 6:48Speaker 03

  Yeah, I would have liked, um, just being in a big old library, kind of researching.

• 6:54Speaker 02

  You'd be a scholar, wouldn't you?

• 6:55Speaker 03

  I'd, I would like to have been, um.

• 6:58Speaker 02

  I think you would have been a bit of a maverick back in those days.

• 7:01Speaker 03

  Do you think so?

• 7:02Speaker 02

  I think you would have been like, you know, sort of science, you know, science was a no-no. It was only just sort of getting a bit, sort of like, maybe we should actually listen to science a little bit.

• 7:14Speaker 03

  Yeah, late Victorian era, there was a lot of, um.

• 7:16Speaker 02

  Stealing cadavers and stuff like that.

• 7:18Speaker 03

  I, I'd like to think I would be, I would be sort of on the side of science.

• 7:21Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 7:22Speaker 03

  Uh, because the late Victorian era was, I think there was quite a lot of pushback against science.

• 7:26Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 7:26Speaker 03

  There was quite a lot of spiritualism, mesmerism, although maybe that is science, though.

• 7:31Speaker 02

  That's really, it's really weird that back in those days, if you were a scientist, you were like a nerd.

• 7:37Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 7:37Speaker 02

  You were like a rock star.

• 7:38Speaker 03

  You were, yeah.

• 7:39Speaker 02

  You were like going against the, the establishment.

• 7:42Speaker 03

  It's interesting how, how science has ended up being positioned now as this kind of like dusty old pursuit.

• 7:49Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 7:49Speaker 03

  Whereas, yeah.

• 7:50Speaker 02

  Well, it depends what so, what sort of science. If it's sort of sexy futuristic.

• 7:55Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 7:55Speaker 02

  Uh, technology science.

• 7:57Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 7:57Speaker 02

  You know, you've got people like Musk. I mean, fucking your Meta guy, who's he? What's he called? Zuckerberg. Zuckerberg.

• 8:03Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 8:03Speaker 02

  The biggest nerd on the planet.

• 8:05Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 8:05Speaker 02

  Like, uh, like, I'm not a tough guy.

• 8:07Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 8:08Speaker 02

  But I'll, you know, I'd, I, if I, you know, if he spilt my pint in the pub, I wouldn't mind going, do you wanna fucking get me another one, son?

• 8:17Speaker 02

  Like I'd feel quite brave around Zuckerberg, but all but these people are ruling the world now.

• 8:23Speaker 03

  They are. No, it's true. I, I am.

• 8:25Speaker 02

  I think they're fuelled from getting, from getting rejected by girls at school.

• 8:30Speaker 03

  I completely agree. I completely agree.

• 8:32Speaker 02

  I think they're just sort of constantly rejected by girls at school and they're like, right, I'm gonna show you world.

• 8:37Speaker 03

  Yeah, I'm gonna set up a technology platform where the first founding principle is that I get to look at photographs of girls.

• 8:43Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 8:44Speaker 03

  That's the, right, the fucking first principle.

• 8:47Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 8:48Speaker 03

  If I, oh, you're my friend. What does friend mean? Well, I say it means you show me whatever pictures of girls you've got.

• 8:54Speaker 02

  But it is, it is interesting.

• 8:56Speaker 03

  Friend means? I'm sure it's entirely what the word friend means.

• 8:59Speaker 02

  I think it is interesting, um, the commitment that young men can have to something if they think it means they'll get their leg over at the end of it.

• 9:09Speaker 03

  Totally.

• 9:10Speaker 02

  That's the whole reason I became an actor, by the way.

• 9:14Speaker 03

  Well, there were more girls, there were more girls doing their subjects at school.

• 9:16Speaker 02

  Cause I wasn't good looking, I wasn't tough and I wasn't good at football. So I was like, I better fucking do something to impress the ladies. Get myself on TV. That'll help us out.

• 9:24Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah. I, I, I, I, I worked for a civil engineering company in my gap year and not a lot of women in civil engineering.

• 9:33Speaker 02

  No.

• 9:33Speaker 03

  Have to say.

• 9:34Speaker 02

  Not a sexy industry. What were you doing in civil engineering? This is a new thing. This is a new thing for me.

• 9:40Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 9:41Speaker 02

  I thought you went to Australia on your gap year and you taught kids that were all bigger than you.

• 9:46Speaker 03

  Yeah, I did. No, what I did was I, um, I didn't want to do a gap year, but what I have as a problem with myself is that that Hannah's working on and has made some progress, but is I say yes to everything.

• 9:59Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 9:59Speaker 03

  So I don't really know that I'm.

• 10:01Speaker 02

  Hence, hence where, this is it. This is where, this is where.

• 10:05Speaker 03

  And here we are. All right, I'm sitting in this chair.

• 10:07Speaker 02

  I mean, see, we should do, we should do a podcast together. You went, yeah.

• 10:11Speaker 03

  Yeah, I don't know why this is happening.

• 10:12Speaker 02

  Yeah. Can you get your bollock out on this episode, please? Yeah, no, we'll do it.

• 10:15Speaker 03

  Mental. Oh, that shouldn't have. Yeah, that was ridiculous. Yeah, I cut that one out. I didn't know.

• 10:22Speaker 04

  Not again.

• 10:23Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 10:23Speaker 02

  No, I'm talking about the in between.

• 10:25Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah. Oh, okay. No, yeah, but I did.

• 10:27Speaker 02

  For anyone who's not sure, I don't think, I don't think anyone is. So when I did the in between his movie, I had a penis double. I think Blake had to have an erection in some boxer shorts or something. And he had a fake penis put in, because we were very much like, like a normal person.

• 10:49Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 10:50Speaker 02

  We were very much like, um, oh, no, I don't really want to get my genitals out on television. They go to Joe, oh, we need you to have your ball out in this episode. Joe's actual bollock. That's not a prosthetic. That's not a.

• 11:04Speaker 03

  Yeah. I guess I just thought.

• 11:06Speaker 02

  Good. No, listen, I've got respect for you.

• 11:08Speaker 03

  I just, I think if they'd said your penis, I would have still done it, wouldn't I?

• 11:14Speaker 02

  You would have done. Yeah, you would have done.

• 11:17Speaker 03

  I don't.

• 11:17Speaker 02

  There was the whole thing.

• 11:18Speaker 03

  I don't give a shit. Like, honestly, it's not a big deal. I don't, I'm not particularly impressed by my penis or my testicles. And I don't really think they're that big a deal. I just think it's like, I honestly find them relatively boring. That's honestly what I think.

• 11:34Speaker 02

  They're mundane, aren't they?

• 11:35Speaker 03

  They're mundane. They're honestly like.

• 11:36Speaker 02

  I think we should, um, there's a little market, there's a gap in the market there for, for, um, because you remember you had the Jazzyling for a while?

• 11:45Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 11:45Speaker 02

  When the only way is Essex came out and it was all about, what'd you do? Like superglue some diamonds to your vagina or something?

• 11:52Speaker 03

  Some sort of sequins on the, yeah.

• 11:54Speaker 02

  Has anyone ever done that? Has anyone ever actually done that?

• 11:59Speaker 02

  I'm from Essex.

• 12:01Speaker 03

  It felt like it was a very, very specific time period where the Jazzy was like.

• 12:06Speaker 02

  But I think you could dress up the penis.

• 12:09Speaker 03

  Yeah, I think you could.

• 12:10Speaker 02

  I think you could, um.

• 12:13Speaker 02

  Now, don't, um, I'm gonna say something now and I don't want this to get clipped. I'm thinking of an erect penis.

• 12:20Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 12:22Speaker 02

  Don't clip that.

• 12:23Speaker 04

  That's safe.

• 12:24Speaker 02

  Keep that in context.

• 12:26Speaker 03

  That's safe. I'm not sure you've even provided any context.

• 12:29Speaker 02

  But the erect, no, I'm about to now.

• 12:31Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 12:32Speaker 02

  I feel like the erect penis, you could-

• 12:33Speaker 04

  The clip's getting longer and longer until we can get to the context.

• 12:36Speaker 02

  I think the erect penis, you could really dress up. You could sort of go a bit Elton John with it. You could put a cape on it.

• 12:42Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 12:43Speaker 02

  Put some funny little sunglasses, big sunglasses, sorry.

• 12:47Speaker 03

  But it'd be, but it'd be a bit sad, it'd be sad when it started to droop and all the clothes fell off.

• 12:52Speaker 02

  That was it. That was when, well, that's when it's taking its bow at the end of, at the end of whatever's going on.

• 13:00Speaker 03

  Yeah, but yeah.

• 13:02Speaker 02

  Taking its- But imagine like-

• 13:03Speaker 03

  That's a nice way of putting it. It's not drooping, it's taking its bow.

• 13:07Speaker 02

  You know, um, what was it, Elton John, when he wore that, um, like for jazz, or basically Dodgers, um, uniform, when he, when he did Dodgers Stadium. It's like a quite really, really famous gig.

• 13:22Speaker 03

  I think I, it was a sequined suit of some kind.

• 13:24Speaker 02

  Yeah. Imagine like just dress-

• 13:27Speaker 03

  It'd be pretty-

• 13:28Speaker 02

  Your penis up like, but again, it only works if it's erect.

• 13:31Speaker 05

  Joe and James.

• 13:33Speaker 04

  Joe and James?

• 13:34Speaker 05

  Ah, Joe and James. Joe and James.

• 13:39Speaker 04

  Fact up again. Joe and James, Joe and James, Joe and James, Joe and James, Fact Up!

• 13:46Speaker 02

  Welcome to Joe and James Fact Up. Each week we bring one another a fact that we deem interesting. I've not got an interesting one this week. And our policy is the more interesting, the more true it is. So I guess I'm turning up with a lie, Joe.

• 13:59Speaker 03

  Yeah, that's-

• 14:00Speaker 02

  We'll also dig, because the-

• 14:02Speaker 03

  It's a shame that the intro is no-

• 14:03Speaker 02

  The least interesting it is, the more of a lie it is. Is that, that's our logic, isn't it?

• 14:07Speaker 03

  Yeah, you're right. That is, that is absolutely right.

• 14:10Speaker 02

  Um, we'll also dig into the weird things that you'd like to think are true, but can't be asked to do the research yourself in a segment that we're calling Fact Check. And, um, if you do want to send us your facts or any messages- Because let's face it, this is very quickly becoming less about the facts this show. Um, anything that you want to get to me and Joe, our email is hello at joeandjamespod.com. Our WhatsApp number is 07822 034330. And our socials are at joeandjamespod. And don't forget that you can watch our full episodes on YouTube, just search for Joe and James Fact Up. Now, let's get fact up.

• 15:03Speaker 06

  1965, London. The world's largest uncut diamond has been stolen from the Natural History Museum.

• 15:13Speaker 06

  Shortly after, a young London window cleaner is arrested.

• 15:16Speaker 01

  They said you're nicked, you're in a lot of trouble.

• 15:18Speaker 06

  But was he set up? Wanted, I've led to a fall of two cops. His family say he is guilty, but of a totally different crime.

• 15:28Speaker 07

  You're not going to end up going to prison, are you, kidlet?

• 15:30Speaker 06

  I'm J C Long and this is Rough Diamond. Listen now wherever you get your podcasts.

• 15:42Speaker 02

  You've not got any tattoos, have you?

• 15:44Speaker 03

  Tattoos.

• 15:44Speaker 02

  I've got tattoos, the last thing.

• 15:46Speaker 03

  I quite like them. I'm not, I'm, I'm not like, I don't know why I'm not against them. I don't want to be against them.

• 15:52Speaker 02

  I don't get people that are anti-tattoo. It's just taking a space that was boring.

• 15:57Speaker 03

  I think they're rather nice.

• 15:58Speaker 02

  And plain.

• 15:59Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 16:00Speaker 02

  And doing something interesting with it.

• 16:02Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 16:02Speaker 02

  And also, I just think all, I just think, not all, some of them are really great. Most tattoos are bad.

• 16:10Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 16:11Speaker 02

  Like, you'll like them.

• 16:13Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 16:14Speaker 02

  But it doesn't mean that everyone else will like them.

• 16:16Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 16:16Speaker 02

  Like, so I, my tattoos, I've always just leant into that.

• 16:20Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 16:20Speaker 02

  I've gone out of my way to get, to, to get the worst tattoos.

• 16:24Speaker 03

  Well, you've got yours, it's a succulent Chinese meal.

• 16:26Speaker 02

  I've got succul-, yeah, I've got a little, I've got a little takeaway Chinese box with succulent written on it.

• 16:34Speaker 02

  I've got a little paper aeroplane. What have I got?

• 16:37Speaker 03

  Did I tell you there was a, there was a lad on Fresh Meat who, um, he had a tattoo on his bum, saying, I love Robbie Williams. And he re-said, he said, I said, why'd you get that? He said, always gets a laugh.

• 16:52Speaker 03

  I was like, that is not a good enough reason.

• 16:55Speaker 02

  That is a good enough reason. That is a good enough reason. That's what I'm fuelled by.

• 17:00Speaker 03

  Oh, if you're at a funeral, we'll cheer up everyone. What are you doing?

• 17:03Speaker 02

  That is what I'm.

• 17:04Speaker 03

  What are you doing?

• 17:04Speaker 02

  That is what I'm.

• 17:05Speaker 03

  Why does everyone?

• 17:06Speaker 02

  That is what I'm fuelled by.

• 17:07Speaker 03

  They even need to cheer up.

• 17:08Speaker 02

  My, like, so my succulent Chinese mill.

• 17:11Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 17:12Speaker 02

  Tattoo.

• 17:12Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 17:13Speaker 02

  I got that, um, my sister-in-law did it. She's a tattoo artist.

• 17:17Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 17:17Speaker 02

  And I went to see her on my own and Claire, straight away was like, I feel like I should come with you because I think you're gonna get something stupid.

• 17:24Speaker 03

  She's quite clever, isn't she, Claire?

• 17:26Speaker 02

  She's not an, she's not an idiot. So I went to see, I went to see my, my sister-in-law.

• 17:31Speaker 03

  Kept it in the family.

• 17:32Speaker 02

  She tattooed me and we were both giggling.

• 17:35Speaker 03

  Yeah, I feel like if you'd have gone to a regular tattoo place, they would have gone, I don't get that. But. So you did, we chose a family member so that they would do it.

• 17:42Speaker 02

  Also, she was drawing it up and I made her do it. Another two times.

• 17:49Speaker 03

  Mm-hmm.

• 17:49Speaker 02

  Like what, what she was drawing.

• 17:51Speaker 03

  Yeah, you don't, you don't wanna, you don't wanna draw it wrong, then it might be, it might look a bit silly.

• 17:55Speaker 02

  Well, this is my point. So she, she redid it. I kept asking her, I was going, no, no. And, and the reason why, and she was like, you're the first person to ever give me, to ever give me this reason to redo it. Because it, you know, it's a tattoo, like it's very important. It's gonna be on your body for the rest of your life. Do you know what I mean? And so she's, she's had people going, oh, I'd like it a bit more like this.

• 18:19Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 18:20Speaker 02

  Or, uh, can you make this look a bit? And she's like, yeah, cool. No, I'll do that. And she goes back and she redraws it. She said, and this was my note twice. I was like, looks too good.

• 18:33Speaker 02

  Can, she was like, you're the only person to ask me, can you do it shitter?

• 18:36Speaker 03

  Do it shitter.

• 18:37Speaker 02

  She was going through like fonts and stuff like that for the word succulent. I was going. Just write it, just write it now, just write the word succulent, just really quickly how you would write it. And she just, she wrote it on her iPad.

• 18:51Speaker 03

  You wanted it to look more like.

• 18:53Speaker 02

  Half a second, I was like, that's it, that's what I want.

• 18:55Speaker 03

  You were going for the sort of prison tattoo look, like where you just kind of do it yourself.

• 19:00Speaker 02

  Yeah, a little bit, a little bit, but that's why I did it. I did it because, um, and primarily to make her laugh.

• 19:08Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 19:08Speaker 02

  Because me, me and my.

• 19:10Speaker 03

  The person doing the tattoo.

• 19:11Speaker 02

  Me and my wife's sister.

• 19:12Speaker 03

  Specific audience.

• 19:13Speaker 02

  Well, me and my wife's sister were obsessed with that succulent Chinese meal guy and it became a sort of a little thing for me and her.

• 19:20Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 19:20Speaker 02

  And I was like.

• 19:21Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 19:21Speaker 02

  And it, that whole thing that's going to be on my body for the rest of my life was just to make one person laugh. And that's a win for me.

• 19:31Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 19:32Speaker 02

  I don't know what that says about me.

• 19:34Speaker 03

  You've, well, I think you're devoted to your art form, comedy.

• 19:38Speaker 02

  That's it.

• 19:38Speaker 03

  You're devoted.

• 19:39Speaker 02

  I think you just.

• 19:40Speaker 03

  You're not being very efficient, but you are devoted. You can't afford to, you're going to run out of space, you need to up the numbers.

• 19:47Speaker 02

  I'll commit to a joke. I will commit to a laugh.

• 19:50Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 19:50Speaker 02

  And that was, we all had that when we were making the in-betweeners.

• 19:54Speaker 03

  I always think that.

• 19:54Speaker 02

  It was always like, because especially

• 20:00Speaker 02

  third series and on.

• 20:02Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 20:03Speaker 02

  Or should I say season these days?

• 20:04Speaker 03

  Season series.

• 20:05Speaker 02

  Third series and on Neil.

• 20:08Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 20:09Speaker 02

  Became so stupid.

• 20:11Speaker 03

  Neil's really, really stupid.

• 20:13Speaker 02

  And we were just like, no one's this stupid.

• 20:15Speaker 03

  Yeah, by the third series, he's confusing like being alive and being dead.

• 20:20Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 20:21Speaker 03

  And you're like, well, that's.

• 20:22Speaker 02

  What is it? It was that, um, kid who was ill or something. I was like, oh, I thought he was dead. He was like, no, he's not dead. He's in a wheelchair. It was like, well, isn't that. Didn't he say, isn't that the same thing or something like that?

• 20:34Speaker 03

  Yeah, um.

• 20:35Speaker 02

  I don't know if that made it into the show, actually.

• 20:36Speaker 03

  Might not made it in the show. He definitely thinks that Swansea's an animal.

• 20:39Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 20:40Speaker 03

  That's pretty stupid. What Swansea side, is it an animal?

• 20:44Speaker 02

  Yeah, so.

• 20:45Speaker 03

  Simon's not moving to an animal, is he?

• 20:47Speaker 02

  But the discussion we had was, is it realistic? No. Is it funny? Yes. So that was always the sort of the rule. If it's funny, it's like, it goes in, it gets in. If it's funny, it gets in.

• 20:58Speaker 03

  And.

• 20:59Speaker 02

  And I've seen some of, um, some stuff has been coming up on me on Instagram actually, cause uh, uh, it's, I think, I suppose it's from DVD extras or something like that. And DVDs are antiquated now. So I think people are now discovering these, um.

• 21:17Speaker 03

  There's a lot on them.

• 21:18Speaker 02

  These, what do you call them? Scenes that didn't make it.

• 21:21Speaker 03

  Deleted scenes.

• 21:22Speaker 02

  Deleted scenes, yeah.

• 21:23Speaker 03

  The video diaries.

• 21:24Speaker 02

  And I've, I've seen some deleted scenes come up on my Instagram. And it is just like, oh yeah, I can see why that's.

• 21:31Speaker 03

  Deleted. Oh, okay. So it's not like, oh God, there was, they were cutting gold.

• 21:35Speaker 02

  No.

• 21:36Speaker 03

  No.

• 21:36Speaker 02

  No, cause you, cause it is just like.

• 21:38Speaker 03

  They were cleaning shit.

• 21:39Speaker 02

  No, don't get me wrong. They were probably like story driven.

• 21:43Speaker 03

  Oh, okay.

• 21:44Speaker 02

  Maybe important to the plot scenes and things like that. Maybe scenes that make the episode make more sense.

• 21:50Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 21:50Speaker 02

  They just weren't funny.

• 21:51Speaker 03

  Oh, I see. So they were cut.

• 21:53Speaker 02

  So they were cut, they were gone.

• 21:54Speaker 03

  I remember we had a big argument with them about whether we were allowed to say Prince Charles instead of Prince Charles.

• 22:00Speaker 02

  That was it, yeah.

• 22:00Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 22:01Speaker 02

  You backed me up on that one, yeah.

• 22:03Speaker 03

  I said Prince Charles, cause I was, I, I do think it's, uh.

• 22:07Speaker 02

  Cause what is it? Who's the Duke of Edinburgh?

• 22:09Speaker 03

  There's a big discussion about who the Duke of Edinburgh is.

• 22:11Speaker 02

  Isn't that the king?

• 22:12Speaker 03

  Is it the king?

• 22:13Speaker 02

  And I, and I go, no. No, that's Prince Charles.

• 22:17Speaker 03

  The Duke of Edinburgh is Prince Charles.

• 22:18Speaker 02

  I wanted to say Prince Charles. And I don't know why, I thought that was funny.

• 22:22Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's funny.

• 22:23Speaker 02

  And it was Ian and Damon, they're like, no, don't say that. I did do it for a couple of takes. I did try and see if I could get it in. No, that's Prince Charles.

• 22:30Speaker 03

  They were quite finicky, weren't they? For a, for a show of that.

• 22:35Speaker 02

  In their defence.

• 22:36Speaker 03

  They said it was a, yeah.

• 22:36Speaker 02

  In their defence, and something that they would constantly remind us about. It'd be like, can you do, um, cause they used to get annoyed with me a lot because I wouldn't, um, and it's fair enough. When I'm, when you hear the next sentence that comes out of my mouth, you're gonna go, yeah, that's fair enough.

• 22:52Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 22:52Speaker 02

  Because I wouldn't say the lines.

• 22:54Speaker 03

  No, you wouldn't.

• 22:55Speaker 02

  Right?

• 22:55Speaker 03

  Well, you, you would, wouldn't learn them and.

• 22:57Speaker 02

  No, I wouldn't. So.

• 22:59Speaker 03

  Read them maybe? I don't know. Sometimes I was like, reading it for the first time.

• 23:03Speaker 03

  Like literally the first time.

• 23:05Speaker 02

  So, uh, and they got really wound up with me because I kept, my phrase was, that's the gist.

• 23:12Speaker 03

  Oh, that's right.

• 23:12Speaker 02

  And they used to hate that.

• 23:14Speaker 03

  I remember Damon saying, it doesn't say under every one of your lines in brackets or gist.

• 23:20Speaker 02

  I'd go, they'd go, can you say the line the way it's written? I'd go, well, you know, it's the gist.

• 23:24Speaker 03

  It's the, you know. I've got the gist of it.

• 23:26Speaker 02

  I've got the gist of it.

• 23:27Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 23:27Speaker 02

  And they would just be like, I didn't go through a dozen meetings, script meetings with Channel Four, trying to get things through. Trying to find out what we're allowed to do or what we're not allowed to do. I didn't spend nine months of my life just so that you could do the gist for us. It'd be really handy, Buckley, if you could just say the line the way that we spent so much fucking time writing.

• 23:51Speaker 03

  I think the problem you had is that you, you wanted to skip straight to the stage where you were able to kind of jazz it and kind of improvise it.

• 23:58Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 23:58Speaker 03

  But, and, and then, and they would say, you know, you haven't, maybe if you'd have, you know, learnt it to begin with.

• 24:06Speaker 02

  Well, that was it. Yeah.

• 24:08Speaker 03

  It's a bit like, you know, Picasso paints in, you know, late Picasso, he's painting squares and he's doing stuff that, you know, to be fair. That's not what a face looks like.

• 24:18Speaker 02

  No.

• 24:18Speaker 03

  But he, but you know, he could do it the right way.

• 24:20Speaker 02

  He'd done all the, the.

• 24:21Speaker 03

  He'd done all the, yeah.

• 24:22Speaker 02

  He'd put all the work in before.

• 24:24Speaker 03

  He put the work in before. We were trying, we were trying to cut straight to like, you know, here's a face. It's got four eyes on it. And they were going, well, I just, I want to see one with two eyes first.

• 24:32Speaker 02

  Give us two takes the way it's written.

• 24:34Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 24:35Speaker 02

  And we'll give you two takes the way you want to do it.

• 24:37Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 24:37Speaker 02

  And I was just like, I never did the, I never did it right.

• 24:40Speaker 03

  Yeah. You, you said, no deal.

• 24:46Speaker 03

  It was, yeah, but, um, yeah, man. I remember Prince Charles though, and I did back you up and I thought we could have got that in, but, but no. They said it was a joke on a joke and perhaps it was, perhaps it was.

• 25:00Speaker 02

  Prince Charles.

• 25:01Speaker 03

  Prince Charles. He's a king now. King Charles.

• 25:04Speaker 02

  King Charles.

• 25:05Speaker 03

  Is he King Charles the third or King Charles the first? Cause we had Charles, it was Charles the second. So.

• 25:12Speaker 02

  Well, he's the first, he's the first king to be Charles, that's for sure.

• 25:15Speaker 03

  He's definitely the first Charles, for sure.

• 25:18Speaker 02

  Yeah, Adrian.

• 25:20Speaker 04

  Adrian.

• 25:20Speaker 02

  Yeah, I just think of Adrian.

• 25:21Speaker 04

  I used to work with Adrian, good guy.

• 25:23Speaker 02

  You used to work with Adrian?

• 25:24Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 25:24Speaker 02

  What was you, Queen Lily May, what was you working with Charles on?

• 25:28Speaker 04

  I worked at Five Live, BBC Radio Five Live.

• 25:30Speaker 02

  Right.

• 25:31Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 25:31Speaker 03

  Nice one.

• 25:31Speaker 02

  How long did you do that for?

• 25:33Speaker 04

  A few years, two, two or three years.

• 25:35Speaker 02

  Right, was that good?

• 25:37Speaker 04

  Yeah, Adrian, Adrian, good laugh.

• 25:38Speaker 02

  Good laugh.

• 25:39Speaker 04

  He should be king.

• 25:41Speaker 02

  Adrian Charles should be king.

• 25:42Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 25:43Speaker 03

  I like him, he's, what's he, who's he, what is the football team, he's sort of?

• 25:46Speaker 02

  West Brom.

• 25:47Speaker 03

  West Brom, well known for being a West Brom fan.

• 25:49Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 25:50Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 25:50Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 25:51Speaker 04

  There you go.

• 25:52Speaker 02

  Shall we do this podcast?

• 25:53Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 25:55Speaker 03

  You know, if Adrian wants to come on, whatever, man.

• 25:59Speaker 02

  Adrian, Charles, King Charles, if you ever wanna come on.

• 26:02Speaker 04

  He's my king.

• 26:04Speaker 02

  If you wanna, if you wanna come on, um, will we get, are we gonna get, do you reckon, what's the, I don't, this feels like a production conversation, but we'll keep it in the podcast.

• 26:14Speaker 04

  You asked the question.

• 26:15Speaker 02

  Is this a podcast where we'd get guests?

• 26:18Speaker 04

  Would you like guests?

• 26:19Speaker 02

  Not really.

• 26:19Speaker 04

  Yeah, let's not bother them.

• 26:21Speaker 03

  We've only got two chairs.

• 26:22Speaker 02

  But do we need, do we need them? Sometimes we need to, um.

• 26:26Speaker 04

  People, people have, have asked if we would have guests, I'm not against it.

• 26:30Speaker 02

  I don't know how to manoeuvre Joe around someone that doesn't know Joe.

• 26:37Speaker 03

  We've done.

• 26:38Speaker 04

  Give it a bit more time.

• 26:39Speaker 02

  I might have to prep them, we might have to do a, uh.

• 26:41Speaker 04

  A briefing?

• 26:42Speaker 02

  A briefing.

• 26:43Speaker 04

  Yeah, that's part of my job, that's fine.

• 26:44Speaker 03

  James is used to me, but.

• 26:47Speaker 02

  I think Joe's, Joe's an odd guy, yeah, you can do, you can freak people out.

• 26:52Speaker 03

  I can freak people out, unfortunately.

• 26:54Speaker 02

  That's why I love you, though.

• 26:55Speaker 03

  Thank you, and I'm pleased that I've, to have made a friend who under, who's able to, you know.

• 27:00Speaker 02

  Listen, when you backed me up with that Charles game.

• 27:01Speaker 03

  That was when I, that's, yeah, you know what?

• 27:03Speaker 02

  He's my boy.

• 27:04Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 27:04Speaker 02

  He's my ride or die.

• 27:05Speaker 03

  Yeah. So it is, you know, and, and it's, and it's nice for me, but I do know, I am aware that I can, um, I, yeah, I, I can, you know, free people, they're not used to my affect some people and then if they're not used to it, that.

• 27:24Speaker 02

  Yeah. I mean, this, this might not go in. I'll let you decide whether or not what I'm about to say. But me and Joe, we, we're being pitched for a couple of things at the moment, like me and you together, doing something together. And, uh, and I was talking to our pal who's sorting it, who's sorting it all out.

• 27:41Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 27:41Speaker 02

  Um, and, um, and I was just talking about how much of a laugh it would be. I was like, I always want to do stuff with Joe. I always like, I love working with Joe. If there's an opportunity where me and Joe can do something together, count me in. Like, don't worry, just, I'm, I'm in. Like, if you, if, if it works out, if you can get the green light, cool. Like, just let me know where and when. I'm there. And, um, and then, and then we were talking a bit more about mine and your relationship and how much like, and, and he was like, listen, people, people would love to see you and Joe together and da, da, da. And I was like, yeah, no, that could work. This idea that he had, I was like, yeah, no, that could, that could work. And I was like, it's a shame that I've hitched my wagon to the strangest man on the planet.

• 28:26Speaker 02

  Like, I think, I think we'd have to, like, if me and you do something together, where it's me and you, by the way, not acting in something, it's, it's Joe and James go and do something. I don't know what they is. And, um,

• 28:40Speaker 02

  I think we'd have to have like a sort of, you know, on the beginning of Jackass, where it was like MTV says, do not do these things at home. I think I might have to write something being like, listen, Joe's like this, all right? And it's a bit odd to begin with, but if you get in there.

• 28:55Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 28:56Speaker 02

  If you sort of let it go.

• 28:57Speaker 03

  Once you get used to the style, you'll realise I'm saying the same things as everyone else.

• 29:01Speaker 02

  Yeah, exactly. You are, you're like.

• 29:03Speaker 03

  There's no interest, there's no interest in content. It's just, it's taking longer to say it.

• 29:07Speaker 02

  You're like the mighty Bush, if it was a person.

• 29:11Speaker 03

  Yeah, I, yeah.

• 29:12Speaker 02

  Cause I remember the first time I watched the mighty Bush, I was like.

• 29:16Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 29:16Speaker 02

  There was no jokes in it.

• 29:18Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 29:18Speaker 02

  Like, I don't understand this at all whatsoever. And then, um, and then I gave it a second go and I was like, oh, wait a minute. This is actually the funniest fucking thing that's ever existed. That's you. So I, so what we need to do is when we end up doing this thing, I think is gonna happen together.

• 29:36Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 29:36Speaker 02

  We need to maybe

• 29:40Speaker 02

  ask the audience to watch the one episode and just be like, right.

• 29:45Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 29:46Speaker 02

  You won't get it.

• 29:46Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 29:47Speaker 02

  Watch the next episode. It might make sense.

• 29:50Speaker 03

  Um.

• 29:51Speaker 02

  You're a strange little guy, aren't you?

• 29:53Speaker 03

  I am. Well, I think I get into, um, I, I do sort of ramble. I'm, I'm, I'm aware that I ramble.

• 29:59Speaker 02

  That's good. That's good for podcasting.

• 30:01Speaker 03

  Good for podcasting. I, uh, I, I.

• 30:06Speaker 03

  One thing I feel is that I, people don't always know when I've finished saying what it is that I'm saying.

• 30:13Speaker 02

  Right.

• 30:13Speaker 03

  That's the problem.

• 30:14Speaker 02

  Thank you for bringing that up.

• 30:15Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 30:15Speaker 02

  Because I'm constantly getting told.

• 30:17Speaker 03

  I know.

• 30:18Speaker 02

  Off. And we're both getting told off for talking over each other a lot.

• 30:22Speaker 03

  I'm trying hard not to.

• 30:23Speaker 02

  Your thing is, Joe, is if I, if I sat here in silence.

• 30:28Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 30:29Speaker 02

  You would talk for an hour.

• 30:30Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 30:31Speaker 02

  Without a gap in between it. And sometimes I need to just click you just a little bit.

• 30:37Speaker 03

  I agree. I once, I rem, I once did a breakfast television interview with, um, Eamonn Holmes. I once did a breakfast television interview with him.

• 30:44Speaker 02

  Was I with you?

• 30:46Speaker 03

  No, it was just, it was just me.

• 30:48Speaker 02

  Cause we did.

• 30:49Speaker 03

  I think it probably was.

• 30:50Speaker 02

  Right.

• 30:51Speaker 03

  And he asked me one introductory question at the beginning of the interview, which was just something like, how are you? And I talked for so long in answer to that question that he didn't have time for a second question.

• 31:01Speaker 02

  Right, thanks, Joe.

• 31:02Speaker 03

  And he just had to end the interview.

• 31:03Speaker 02

  Cheers, thanks, mate.

• 31:04Speaker 03

  He said, that's all we've got time for.

• 31:05Speaker 02

  Did you go, oh, oh, by the way, um, new series of this is coming out.

• 31:08Speaker 03

  Yeah. I also once was supposed to be pitching something that I was being paid for as a corporate job. And I had a radio interview with, um.

• 31:18Speaker 03

  I'm Amanda Holden and Jamie Thigston.

• 31:21Speaker 02

  Right. Yeah, on part, yeah.

• 31:23Speaker 03

  Yeah, I did the whole interview.

• 31:25Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 31:26Speaker 03

  And I was being quite funny, I made a joke about like.

• 31:27Speaker 02

  Did you go in there?

• 31:28Speaker 03

  No, I was, I was, I did actually in the back of a car.

• 31:31Speaker 02

  Right.

• 31:31Speaker 03

  With the guy who was working for the company that was, I was doing the corporate job for.

• 31:35Speaker 02

  Right.

• 31:35Speaker 03

  And, and basically he could hear me talking and not getting in the thing that I was meant to mention. And I was like, our manager and Jamie, bring it up. And obviously they weren't going to bring it up.

• 31:46Speaker 02

  No.

• 31:46Speaker 03

  They were interested in the fact I was doing celebrity bear hunting. I was being quite funny about that.

• 31:49Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah.

• 31:50Speaker 03

  I was, I was quite pleased. I was like, that's a good interview.

• 31:52Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 31:53Speaker 03

  They were like, okay, so coming up, going all the way back to nineteen eighty-three with, I was like, oh god, no, no, they can't, don't end the interview. And I literally went, oh, sorry, can I just, and then they cut me off. And the guy next to me, and I, I was trying to like, start it out, I was like, well, how do you think that went?

• 32:10Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 32:10Speaker 03

  And he went, yeah, uh.

• 32:12Speaker 02

  It'd be great if you could have mentioned that product.

• 32:13Speaker 03

  It's all right, if you could mention, I think I said something like, do you think that interview was of any value to the product? And he said, to be honest, no, not at all, because you didn't mention the product at all. So, um. Yeah, that was.

• 32:28Speaker 02

  That's the tightrope, that's the tightrope that, um, that we walk, don't we?

• 32:33Speaker 03

  We do.

• 32:34Speaker 02

  See, I avoid that stuff.

• 32:36Speaker 03

  It's very difficult doing.

• 32:36Speaker 02

  I've done it, I've done it, I've done it in the past where you're trying to.

• 32:41Speaker 03

  You have to work it in.

• 32:43Speaker 02

  Because there's laws, right? There's these sort of really fucking weird laws. So you'll work with a company.

• 32:50Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 32:50Speaker 02

  And you'll do an Instagram video and then they're like, oh, we need you, we need you to do a day of press. And I, and I've done it once before and now I always say no to the day of press. Because it's, because you're not really allowed.

• 33:03Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 33:05Speaker 02

  To advertise something, but there's a loophole, there's sort of like a, so if you go on Good Morning Britain or something like that. You go, they go, well, is, um, is, do you reckon there'll be any more in between us?

• 33:18Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 33:19Speaker 02

  And you go, well, I'm not sure if there'll be any more in between us. The one thing I am sure about though is that, um, I love these socks that I'm wearing.

• 33:26Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 33:27Speaker 02

  Um.

• 33:28Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 33:29Speaker 02

  Like it's it's it's I did it once before. I did a whole day. I went to different radio stations and stuff, did a whole press junket. I can't remember what it was I was plugging and I was I was a lot younger than what I was now. And I was just like, uh, like at that point in my life, I was like, you're gonna, you're gonna give me that much money? Yeah, all right, yeah, I'll do it. Yeah, that sounds brilliant. Uh, and then, and then it was just weird. It was just.

• 33:56Speaker 03

  It's a really weird thing.

• 33:56Speaker 02

  Really difficult to do. And I'm not a subtle guy. Like I'm hap- like I would rather, I would rather just go, oh, I'm here to um, talk about this thing that I'm trying to sell to people. Like I'd much rather that. Uh, and I think people would much rather listen to that. Yeah. Because at that point, they've got a decision. They they can decide, uh, I'll carry on listening or I won't. And you're not tricking people into sort of, that's what I don't like. I don't like the, and I have done it before. I don't like the feel of pulling the wool over people's eyes.

• 34:33Speaker 03

  It's really hard to to try and bring up stuff.

• 34:37Speaker 02

  Yeah. And I changed my stance in it a long time.

• 34:40Speaker 03

  My my strategy was wait until it comes up naturally.

• 34:42Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 34:43Speaker 03

  And then, and then it didn't come up.

• 34:44Speaker 02

  It doesn't, does it? If you're trying to sort of, if you're trying to sell a chocolate bar or something like that, it's like, well, I've got.

• 34:50Speaker 03

  I was thinking it's bound to come up.

• 34:53Speaker 02

  They'll bring it up, sure.

• 34:56Speaker 03

  I would, I, and I didn't realise when I started doing this. I just thought they were adverts. And I was so confused. I was like, why can't I say?

• 35:02Speaker 02

  No, no, no, Joe, just for any lawyers watching, they weren't adverts.

• 35:08Speaker 03

  No, they weren't.

• 35:08Speaker 02

  You were just having a conversation. And like you said, like it didn't come up in the heart one.

• 35:13Speaker 03

  I teamed up, for heaven's sake, I'd done the totally normal thing of teaming up with a brand that I'd never heard of before.

• 35:21Speaker 03

  I was just trying to team up. Don't you like teams?

• 35:25Speaker 02

  You were just trying to get into a bubble.

• 35:26Speaker 03

  I was just trying to get into a bubble.

• 35:28Speaker 02

  You were trying to bubble up.

• 35:28Speaker 03

  I was trying to build community and friendship by teaming up. Who have you teamed up with? Um, they're called, um. What's the only other member of my team called? Let me just check.

• 35:44Speaker 03

  But you know, you always get these alliances, don't you, between, you know, people in the public eye and sort of completely random brands? It's weird, isn't it?

• 35:52Speaker 02

  Yeah, of course. Yeah, yeah. But that's what I do.

• 35:54Speaker 03

  That's the main time that, that teams happen. That's what, that's what team means, isn't it?

• 35:58Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 35:58Speaker 03

  A team is a combination of a celebrity and a brand.

• 36:04Speaker 02

  So we've been chatting quite a lot, so we need, we do need to get into the, we're contractually obliged to get into some facts. Um, so let's get straight into fact check. This is the part of the podcast where we will read a fact or a question. Uh, from you that you'd like us to get to the bottom of. Uh, then we're gonna have a little think during the ad break there and we'll come back and let you know how true.

• 36:29Speaker 02

  We think it is.

• 36:31Speaker 03

  No.

• 36:31Speaker 02

  Uh, and it will, will decide whether it passes our fact check.

• 36:34Speaker 03

  We really, we really will try to decide though.

• 36:37Speaker 02

  If it comes to a point where me and you disagree, where there's a stalemate, we then throw it over to Queen Lily, mate, and, um.

• 36:46Speaker 03

  The casting vote.

• 36:47Speaker 02

  You know, she rules.

• 36:48Speaker 03

  So it's, we have, there's two.

• 36:49Speaker 02

  She's got a ruling vote.

• 36:51Speaker 03

  As a system of government, this is, it's a con, it's like a constitutional monarchy. So it was, we've got a parliament here.

• 36:59Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 37:00Speaker 03

  Of two. So this shouldn't have parliament two, because it's gonna be a lot of ties. And then we've got the monarch who settles things in extremis.

• 37:11Speaker 02

  Ruling vote. Yeah.

• 37:12Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 37:13Speaker 02

  Okay. Um, so, um, this week's fact check.

• 37:18Speaker 02

  I'll read out this fact, shall I? This fact check comes from Alex, who has messaged in to say, how did they message, out of interest?

• 37:27Speaker 04

  Um, I think Alex sent it on the WhatsApp, uh, on the form, actually, it was the, it was the fact of form.

• 37:32Speaker 02

  Oh yeah, this form. I've never seen this form. I don't know what this form is.

• 37:36Speaker 04

  It's in, it's in the description, so if you want to click on the description of the episode, it'll be there.

• 37:40Speaker 02

  Shouldn't that be included in the intro and stuff? Because I say if you want to get in touch with us, you can do this, this or this. I've never said, oh, by the way, there's a form.

• 37:47Speaker 04

  Yeah, it's just too many things, but people are using it, it's fine.

• 37:50Speaker 02

  Great, alright. They're finding it. Don't, you know, if it ain't broke, what is it? If it ain't broke, don't fix it. Yeah. Good advice. That's what we used to say about, when, when we were making the second Inbetweeners film, one of the sayings we said was, because obviously, the series had been a huge success. The first film broke records Yep. for a British comedy. Yep. Uh, and then when we were doing the second film, one of the things we kept saying was, if it ain't broke, break it.

• 38:21Speaker 02

  Anyway. Yeah, yeah. Um, Alex says, alright lads, I have always lived with this fact in my head and have never had the heart to check if I was living a lie. Alex says, you can live your entire life only eating baked beans. It worked for me at uni. Cheers, Alex. Well, you can live your entire life only eating something. Only eating anything. Well, it depends how long you want your life to be. If it, if you end up dying. Yeah. It don't, like, like only-

• 38:52Speaker 04

  Should this be after the break?

• 38:53Speaker 02

  It should be after the break. Sorry, let's go for a break and we'll, and we'll discuss more afterwards. Sorry, Lili May. Sorry, Queen Lili May. Sorry about that. Oh, sorry.

• 39:08Speaker 08

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• 39:33Speaker 09

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• 39:37Speaker 00

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• 40:46Speaker 02

  Right, we're back. And Alex asked us if you can only, you can live your entire life only eating baked beans? Now, we are going, I don't know if the word is meta, but we are like, that is one of the topics on Mid Morning Matters on Alan Partridge, where it is, can you just only, can you live your life entirely eating crisps? That's like one of the debates apparently they had. But so we are getting into that territory. But baked beans, first of all, the bean, I think is a healthy food. I think it's a superfood.

• 41:23Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's, beans contain protein. So it's better than just eating carbs.

• 41:29Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm.

• 41:31Speaker 03

  There's probably some vitamin C in the sauce, a bit, because it's made of tomatoes.

• 41:36Speaker 02

  Yep.

• 41:37Speaker 03

  I really doubt that you could live your entire life, as in if you want your life to be. Good and long.

• 41:45Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 41:46Speaker 03

  You could.

• 41:47Speaker 02

  That's not what he's asking.

• 41:49Speaker 03

  You could literally live your entire life eating baked beans.

• 41:51Speaker 02

  Yeah, you could live your, you could live your entire life eating anything.

• 41:54Speaker 03

  Yeah, you could.

• 41:55Speaker 02

  If you wanted to, if you wanted to live your entire life eating razor blades.

• 41:58Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 41:59Speaker 02

  You could do.

• 42:00Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 42:01Speaker 02

  It would, it would be a short life.

• 42:02Speaker 03

  It'd be a short life.

• 42:03Speaker 02

  But you'd, you'd make the, you'd make it the whole way. Um, the, the baked bean.

• 42:08Speaker 03

  I don't, I don't think it's true. The, the, I think if you wanted to eat just one thing, you'd be better off eating something like raw beef. Because you would get vitamins. I think I'm pretty sure there's vitamin C in raw meat.

• 42:23Speaker 02

  Right.

• 42:24Speaker 03

  Because a subject that I always bring up, Captain Scott. One of the ways.

• 42:29Speaker 02

  You're gonna talk about scurvy.

• 42:30Speaker 03

  Scurvy. If you, they, they were able to eat raw. They were eating their, I think, ponies by the end.

• 42:37Speaker 02

  Right.

• 42:38Speaker 03

  Which obviously is sad, but I think the ponies, you know, it was kind of either them. They didn't take the right animal. They took ponies. Ponies. Ponies are.

• 42:49Speaker 02

  Well, anyone would take a parrot or something.

• 42:51Speaker 03

  Ponies, I think, are ma- mostly birthday presents for rich little girls. I don't think they, I don't think they're meant to go to the South Pole.

• 42:58Speaker 02

  Yeah, you can get like.

• 43:00Speaker 03

  Ponies. They're tough ponies. I mean, look, the, the, it wasn't the ponies' fault and, but the, the Amundsen took dogs. Whereas Scott and his men hauled their sled, them, th- themselves.

• 43:13Speaker 02

  Yeah. With the pony.

• 43:15Speaker 03

  That's gonna tire you out.

• 43:16Speaker 02

  Like, I would even go for a bigger.

• 43:18Speaker 03

  You don't need to like fle- that feels like a flex. That feels like an unnecessary flex. So we will not only win, but we will do it hauling our own sleds.

• 43:25Speaker 02

  Britain's famous for that. Historically, the British are famous for that.

• 43:29Speaker 03

  You can't just win.

• 43:30Speaker 02

  We didn't, yeah.

• 43:31Speaker 03

  Win with one arm tied behind your back.

• 43:33Speaker 02

  It needs to be done the right way.

• 43:34Speaker 03

  Anyway, these, they, I, there was a mention in this book I read about, raw, raw pony meat has vitamin C in, and I'm pretty sure that raw meat.

• 43:42Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 43:42Speaker 03

  Has vitamin C.

• 43:43Speaker 02

  And it would have been, it would have been frozen as well. So they would have been like shaving it off and whatnot.

• 43:47Speaker 03

  So you're covered when it comes to scurvy. You've got your protein. I think there's, I think there is some carbs in.

• 43:54Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 43:54Speaker 03

  And, and I suppose in, so if you just would have one thing, that would, that would keep you going. But I think in, I don't think anything, just one.

• 44:03Speaker 02

  Just one thing.

• 44:03Speaker 03

  Substance is really gonna be good.

• 44:05Speaker 02

  No, you need a variety.

• 44:07Speaker 03

  I don't, it's, yeah, it's not, it's not true.

• 44:10Speaker 02

  Well, it's sort of true.

• 44:12Speaker 03

  It's better, it's better for you than just eating white pasta or something.

• 44:16Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 44:16Speaker 03

  It's, it's not enough. There'll, there'll be stuff that you're not getting.

• 44:21Speaker 02

  But I don't think, well, the statement is, can you, you can, I think.

• 44:26Speaker 03

  He also says it worked for me at uni, that the young body is very resilient.

• 44:30Speaker 02

  Oh God, yeah, the young body.

• 44:32Speaker 03

  It doesn't give a shit.

• 44:33Speaker 02

  It just, like, you can put so much shit into your body when you're young. And it, it's just really good at just zeroing in on the good stuff.

• 44:42Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 44:42Speaker 02

  And just grabbing that.

• 44:43Speaker 03

  It's better at sorting it, isn't it?

• 44:45Speaker 02

  Yeah. It would just be like, if, if you just wanna eat chocolate from the ages of fifteen to twenty-two or something, the body will be like, that's absolutely fine. We'll make that work.

• 44:57Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 44:58Speaker 02

  We'll sort that out. We'll get, we'll get something from that.

• 45:01Speaker 03

  The old body feels like it's almost doing the opposite.

• 45:03Speaker 02

  The old body is like.

• 45:04Speaker 03

  Binning the, you had it a load of crap.

• 45:06Speaker 02

  The old body is tired.

• 45:07Speaker 03

  Takes out the good stuff, bins that.

• 45:10Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 45:10Speaker 03

  And then shoves all the shit into your sort of stomach and arse.

• 45:13Speaker 02

  The old body's like, well, we can process this quicker.

• 45:17Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 45:17Speaker 02

  So just, yeah, you, you're bringing more sugar in. Brilliant. Yeah, that'll do us.

• 45:21Speaker 03

  That's fine.

• 45:22Speaker 02

  We'll do that. Um, but

• 45:26Speaker 02

  what's Alex asking us here? Do you think Queen Lily may, is it a health, is it? Because you, like I say, you can eat anything.

• 45:35Speaker 03

  I think what he's saying is you could, you could live a normal, you could live a normal, healthy life. I, I think in the end you would die from malnutrition because there'd be something that you're not getting.

• 45:45Speaker 02

  Yeah. I reckon you could get to your sixties.

• 45:48Speaker 03

  You might get to your sixties.

• 45:50Speaker 02

  With, with the baked bean. What are we saying?

• 45:53Speaker 03

  I don't think it's true.

• 45:53Speaker 02

  I'm, I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go, it's, that's not fact.

• 45:57Speaker 04

  Not fact?

• 45:58Speaker 02

  No, fact.

• 45:58Speaker 03

  No, it's no, it's no fact. What do we say?

• 46:00Speaker 02

  What do we say when it's no fact?

• 46:01Speaker 03

  Fact down.

• 46:02Speaker 04

  I think you said fact down before, yeah.

• 46:04Speaker 02

  I don't remember that. Is that what we said?

• 46:07Speaker 03

  I think we have been saying that.

• 46:08Speaker 02

  Fact down.

• 46:10Speaker 04

  Yeah, instead of fact up.

• 46:11Speaker 03

  Instead of fact up.

• 46:11Speaker 02

  Yeah, I know, I get it.

• 46:12Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 46:17Speaker 02

  She's not good.

• 46:20Speaker 04

  No.

• 46:21Speaker 03

  Well, I mean, that's why, that's not a, not really.

• 46:25Speaker 02

  Well, we'll keep.

• 46:25Speaker 04

  Was it, was it fact or fact up? So if it's like, if it's not right, it's fact up. I can't remember.

• 46:30Speaker 03

  No, fact up is correct.

• 46:32Speaker 02

  Fact up's great. I thought it was so fact till it hurts.

• 46:35Speaker 04

  There's so fact it hurts.

• 46:36Speaker 02

  So fact it hurts.

• 46:37Speaker 03

  We haven't used that for a while, have we?

• 46:38Speaker 04

  But no, that's, that's one you really believe in.

• 46:40Speaker 02

  I'm gonna go no, I'm gonna go fact down.

• 46:43Speaker 03

  Yeah, I'm saying, I'm saying fact down.

• 46:45Speaker 02

  Which if you're listening and you're as confused as I am, that means no fact apparently. Not fact. No fact.

• 46:50Speaker 03

  Fact down. I suppose we could, we said instead of fact up, we could say.

• 46:55Speaker 04

  Yeah, we haven't spoken too much about these things.

• 46:57Speaker 03

  I, I don't know whether people have noticed, but it's a bit of a pun on fucked up.

• 47:01Speaker 02

  This is episode 20 and we're now.

• 47:02Speaker 03

  Is it 20?

• 47:03Speaker 02

  Yeah, and we're, and we're just deciding on the format.

• 47:08Speaker 03

  We're not, we're not deciding on the format. We're abandoning it. We're ditching it.

• 47:11Speaker 04

  I was gonna say, we haven't done the format for most of this episode. That's fine.

• 47:14Speaker 02

  Anyway.

• 47:15Speaker 03

  We've never really settled on the format.

• 47:16Speaker 02

  Anyway, I think we're in agreement that that, that won't, you won't, that won't keep you alive for long, for as long as you'd like to live for.

• 47:25Speaker 03

  It's not true.

• 47:26Speaker 02

  So we're gonna go not true. Lily May, have you got any information?

• 47:30Speaker 04

  I've got, yeah.

• 47:31Speaker 02

  Have you looked up how long you could live on Big Things?

• 47:34Speaker 04

  Yeah, for, for this, I've been living off beans for the last week.

• 47:38Speaker 03

  Yeah, we appreciate that.

• 47:39Speaker 02

  Have you really?

• 47:40Speaker 04

  No.

• 47:42Speaker 04

  It would have been good if I had. Um.

• 47:44Speaker 02

  That's the last thing I need. Joe's worked for me.

• 47:49Speaker 03

  Yeah, no, James.

• 47:50Speaker 02

  Joe's been stuck in a car with me, a tiny little yellow car with me for days on end and he knows.

• 47:54Speaker 03

  We were once getting on a plane and people in the queue were saying that it was the smell of the catalytic converter.

• 47:59Speaker 02

  Of a plane, of a plane, by the way, which almost definitely does not have a catalytic converter, right?

• 48:05Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 48:06Speaker 02

  There, and there was, like, we were in the, uh.

• 48:09Speaker 03

  But they thought that was a, they thought that was a likelier explanation.

• 48:12Speaker 02

  The tunnel that goes on to the plane.

• 48:14Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 48:15Speaker 02

  And I was just like, oh god, I've, I've got a fart, I can't hold this in anymore. And it was eggy. It was very sulfuric.

• 48:22Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 48:22Speaker 02

  I would describe it.

• 48:23Speaker 03

  It was horrendous.

• 48:24Speaker 02

  And there was, there was an old woman behind us, wasn't it? She like, and she was like, oh god, yeah, you can smell the catalytic converter, can't you?

• 48:31Speaker 03

  Hmm. It was getting her in the mood for holidays. Oh, I love that smell. Oh, I remember when you, as soon as I smell the, the catalytic converter, I'm already on the beach. Somewhere like that, but it smelled industrial for sure. They were like, something's happening here that this is man dabbling in, this is man playing god. This is, this is an attempt to split the atom or something.

• 48:53Speaker 02

  I don't know if I'm a fucking weird, well, I do know I'm a weirdo. I do take pride in how smelly my farts can be.

• 49:04Speaker 03

  Can you, um.

• 49:05Speaker 02

  It is the diet, it's the old diet there, it's mostly um.

• 49:09Speaker 03

  Your diet's.

• 49:10Speaker 02

  Domino's pizza and curry.

• 49:12Speaker 03

  Your diet was never very good on the Inbetweeners. Is it any better now?

• 49:17Speaker 03

  No?

• 49:17Speaker 02

  No.

• 49:18Speaker 03

  No.

• 49:19Speaker 02

  I eat more pasta.

• 49:20Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 49:21Speaker 02

  Well, my, no, my diet is better because I got married.

• 49:25Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 49:26Speaker 02

  And they don't want you. They've got a problem with you eating a whole block of dairy milk at nine o'clock on a

• 49:33Speaker 03

  They're really sort of stuck up on you.

• 49:35Speaker 02

  And also like, it's nothing to do with you. Not doing anything to you. Well, like, this will make me happy just doing this.

• 49:41Speaker 03

  You can fart if you want.

• 49:42Speaker 02

  Yeah, absolutely.

• 49:43Speaker 03

  I don't mind.

• 49:44Speaker 02

  Yeah, I find it funny.

• 49:46Speaker 03

  It's funny and cool.

• 49:47Speaker 02

  If I do it, it's like, I had to um sleep in the guest room the other day.

• 49:51Speaker 03

  What, because you were farting so much?

• 49:52Speaker 02

  Uh, and we forgot to bring it up on the podcast, actually, mine and Claire's podcast. The night before we went in to do a podcast record.

• 49:58Speaker 03

  Hmm.

• 49:58Speaker 02

  Um, I, I got kicked out of my own bedroom. Um, well, in fact, we did talk about it a little bit. I was saying goodnight to the, one of my kids and farted as I was leaving. And I, I can't remember exactly what I'd eaten, but I'd stunk out of that room.

• 50:16Speaker 03

  Farting as you're leaving is not good etiquette.

• 50:17Speaker 02

  And he was well annoyed. He was like, why did you do that? Just like, oh, no. And he was like, covering his mouth, like, with his face and with his um bed sheets and stuff.

• 50:27Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 50:28Speaker 02

  Then got into bed, into my bed. Did a couple of little farts. After like the third one, it was like, you've got to go. You've got to get out of here because that is disgusting. You're going to make me sick. They were powerful.

• 50:39Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 50:40Speaker 02

  They were so powerful.

• 50:42Speaker 03

  It's hard to ventilate a.

• 50:43Speaker 02

  And um. But I don't know where I was being punished. Because I had to leave the room and go into a nice, fresh room, the guest room.

• 50:52Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 50:52Speaker 02

  It was nice and crisp and fresh and there's all like new bed sheets on there and stuff.

• 50:56Speaker 03

  Punishment should be that you have to remain in the room.

• 50:59Speaker 02

  And I left Claire in the room with the funk.

• 51:02Speaker 03

  Yes. As a punishment, you were kicked out of prison.

• 51:05Speaker 02

  Yeah, that was sort of what had gone on. I'd I'd ruined prison.

• 51:09Speaker 03

  You'd ruined prison. They're like, I'll get out.

• 51:11Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 51:11Speaker 03

  Go free.

• 51:11Speaker 02

  I'd got, yeah, they were like, oh, no, we can't have you in here. Go. Anyway, we're um, we're saying no. What, what, Lily, Queen Lily, Mo, what are we saying?

• 51:19Speaker 04

  So, yeah, basically from research, I don't think anyone's actually tried this, but um, you could survive for a limited time, they say, but you basically wouldn't get all the nutrients you'd need. So you become quite deficient in things. There's also a lot of sodium in beans, uh, so you'd have excessive sodium, which can lead to health issues as well. So you'd probably end up with some long term health issues if you decided to live just off beans.

• 51:45Speaker 03

  Yeah, I think that's more or less what we, what we assumed.

• 51:48Speaker 02

  Depends what ba-, it depends what beans you're going for. I mean, don't get me wrong.

• 51:51Speaker 03

  There's Heinz, Branston.

• 51:53Speaker 02

  The, the Heinz is the.

• 51:55Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 51:55Speaker 02

  If it's not Heinz, I don't want it. Get out of my face. But they are salty. But that's why they're so great.

• 52:03Speaker 03

  You've got an opinion on beans as well, haven't you, about cooking beans? People don't cook, which I agree with actually, people don't cook them for long enough.

• 52:09Speaker 02

  Yeah, they've got to be, you've got to cook, yeah.

• 52:12Speaker 03

  You've got to cook some.

• 52:12Speaker 02

  Do you remember this? This is something I'm quite passionate about.

• 52:15Speaker 03

  This is one of the things that you're most serious about in your life. That's what I remember.

• 52:20Speaker 02

  Jeremy's on quite a pressure.

• 52:21Speaker 03

  Because I'm like, somebody said wasn't born to James, I say the bean thing, um.

• 52:26Speaker 02

  This is amazing. I can't believe I've spoken to you about this.

• 52:28Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 52:29Speaker 02

  But, yeah, don't just.

• 52:30Speaker 03

  Charles, the beans.

• 52:32Speaker 02

  Don't just heat up your beans. Don't just warm up your beans. Cook your beans.

• 52:37Speaker 03

  Cook them.

• 52:37Speaker 02

  Get them a bit stodgy.

• 52:38Speaker 03

  Exactly.

• 52:40Speaker 02

  If you want to go mental, chubbing a great, uh, chucking a great big knob and buttering them.

• 52:44Speaker 03

  Yeah, that'd be nice as well.

• 52:45Speaker 02

  Cooking. Oh, my God.

• 52:47Speaker 03

  I think that beans, they put in a little bit more water.

• 52:51Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 52:51Speaker 03

  And the intention of the manufacturer is that you cook that off.

• 52:55Speaker 02

  And here's something that Claire does is that she'll. She'll sort of strain the beans.

• 53:01Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 53:01Speaker 02

  Because she doesn't want them so watery. And what I say to her is, I go, no, no, no, that's flavour that you're throwing away there. You've got, you've got to condense that.

• 53:09Speaker 03

  You're right.

• 53:10Speaker 02

  You've got.

• 53:11Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 53:11Speaker 02

  Yeah, you've got to, um.

• 53:12Speaker 03

  Just evaporate the water.

• 53:14Speaker 02

  You've got to commit a bit of time to the, to the, to the baked bean getting cooked.

• 53:18Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 53:19Speaker 02

  Like, and you know, people that fucking just.

• 53:22Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 53:22Speaker 02

  Pop, pop, pop, pop, put it in a bowl and put it in the microwave and then pour it over some toast.

• 53:28Speaker 03

  Yes, yeah, that's madness.

• 53:29Speaker 02

  Doing.

• 53:30Speaker 03

  Can I, if, if, if.

• 53:31Speaker 02

  Have you ever shredded cheese in your beans?

• 53:34Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 53:34Speaker 02

  Oh my God.

• 53:36Speaker 03

  What I do sometimes is I put the cheese on the toast and then pour the beans over so the cheese melts.

• 53:42Speaker 02

  Yeah. I do that when I'm, when Claire's made like a bolognese or something like that.

• 53:45Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 53:46Speaker 02

  I get the pa.

• 53:46Speaker 03

  Okay, the cheese goes.

• 53:47Speaker 02

  I get the pasta, then I grate cheese on the pasta. Then the bolognese goes on top, so that gets all melted into the pasta, that cheese. Then I do another layer of cheese on top of the bolognese. Um, so what are we saying?

• 53:59Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 54:00Speaker 02

  That's not fact, is it?

• 54:01Speaker 04

  Fact down or whatever we're.

• 54:02Speaker 02

  Yeah, fact down.

• 54:03Speaker 03

  Fact down and good to have the parliament and the monarch in agreement.

• 54:08Speaker 02

  Absolutely.

• 54:08Speaker 03

  We don't want no civil war.

• 54:10Speaker 02

  We're all just heading, yeah.

• 54:12Speaker 03

  We're all heading.

• 54:13Speaker 04

  We're all just heading.

• 54:14Speaker 02

  We're just trying to think.

• 54:15Speaker 03

  If we're facing in the same direction, all we need to do is keep on walking.

• 54:21Speaker 02

  If there is something that you'd like us to fact check.

• 54:23Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah.

• 54:24Speaker 02

  Um, head to our episode's description for all the ways to get in touch. Uh, Joe, it's time for our facts. You're gonna go.

• 54:32Speaker 03

  You haven't done one?

• 54:33Speaker 02

  I have done one, but it's shit.

• 54:34Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 54:36Speaker 02

  We're talking about Lent.

• 54:37Speaker 04

  Yeah, I think.

• 54:38Speaker 03

  The podcast's a bit long, so we're just gonna do one. And actually, it's a podcast about Lent, so we're being restrained, one fact instead of two.

• 54:44Speaker 02

  I have decided to give up looking up facts for Lent. I've get, I've decided to give up preparing facts for this show for Lent.

• 54:54Speaker 04

  Fair enough.

• 54:58Speaker 02

  Do you know what though?

• 54:59Speaker 03

  That works.

• 55:00Speaker 02

  That's what's good working with me and Joe, right? Is that it is what it is. It's not gonna, it can't get any worse.

• 55:09Speaker 04

  What's that? I think we're having a good time.

• 55:11Speaker 03

  It's a nice low bar. And you're, you know, if it, if it gets a bit better by accident, one week, that's a bonus.

• 55:19Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 55:20Speaker 03

  But no one's really had their expectations set too high.

• 55:24Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 55:25Speaker 03

  I don't think. And that's the whole key to life, I think. Just keep the expectations low, control them.

• 55:32Speaker 02

  Absolutely. That way you'll never be disappointed. Joe, what is your fact?

• 55:36Speaker 03

  My fact is that in the 17th century, some monks did a fast where they just had beer.

• 55:46Speaker 02

  Well, this is interesting.

• 55:48Speaker 03

  I thought you'd like this.

• 55:49Speaker 02

  That, no, right. So it's not interesting for normal people. It's interesting to me.

• 55:54Speaker 03

  But these monks are very much on board with.

• 55:56Speaker 02

  You could drink beer if you were fasting as a monk. Cause it was, uh, it, it was almost classed as bread.

• 56:04Speaker 03

  Well, no, I think, isn't it more that it's?

• 56:06Speaker 02

  It was like a bread drink. It was like hule for monks. It was like.

• 56:10Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 56:11Speaker 02

  It was like medieval hule was beer. Because it was, it was sort of like that step between.

• 56:18Speaker 03

  I mean, going back to Alex's.

• 56:20Speaker 02

  A drink and food.

• 56:22Speaker 03

  It's almost like going back to Alex's point, isn't it? Beans, maybe he could have had beer.

• 56:28Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 56:30Speaker 03

  This was actually recreated by a US journalist who did Lent, uh, and did the beer thing. And he did it for 40 days, just beer.

• 56:45Speaker 02

  Just beer.

• 56:45Speaker 04

  Was it like lower alcohol?

• 56:47Speaker 03

  No, I don't think it was. I think it was a regular beer. But I was thinking, cause he'd have four a day.

• 56:53Speaker 02

  It'd be like 1% alcohol with the beer in.

• 56:57Speaker 03

  Sometimes it wasn't very alcoholic, but actually four pints, let's say, a day.

• 57:03Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 57:03Speaker 03

  It's not a vast amount of alcohol.

• 57:05Speaker 02

  No.

• 57:05Speaker 03

  I believe it's actually what you're looking to hit if you're driving in Australia. So.

• 57:10Speaker 02

  Also, I was looking at the.

• 57:12Speaker 03

  It's just the driving, it's the driving minimum in Australia. That's what you're looking for.

• 57:17Speaker 02

  I was looking at some, because we spoke about this, didn't we? And I was hoping there'd be some clarification from some genuine Aussies.

• 57:24Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 57:25Speaker 02

  Uh, in our comments. And they're just as vague as the information that we got when we were. And he was like, yeah, no, that's right. Yeah, no, you have one, you have one beer and then, you know, one beer an hour after that.

• 57:36Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 57:38Speaker 03

  And did I tell you that when I was in Australia on my gap year, there used to be things in pubs where you could blow into a tube? This was like in the gents, next to the condom machine.

• 57:48Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 57:48Speaker 03

  It'd be like, you'd drive home and just check.

• 57:51Speaker 02

  You should.

• 57:51Speaker 03

  And you either got.

• 57:52Speaker 02

  You didn't just walk into a glory hole?

• 57:54Speaker 03

  It was weird because other things happened that.

• 57:57Speaker 02

  Was it a big fleshy tube that you'd just blow into?

• 57:59Speaker 03

  Things now, yeah, and the, and the tube kept in touch with me afterwards.

• 58:04Speaker 02

  Yeah. And if you were, if you were over the limit, it would spit in your face.

• 58:11Speaker 03

  Yeah, that was weird as well. It was a two-way tube.

• 58:13Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 58:14Speaker 03

  Blow in, but then.

• 58:17Speaker 02

  Go on.

• 58:18Speaker 03

  You used to get green, red or orange. So green, you were definitely under the limit.

• 58:23Speaker 02

  Orange, you were like, orange was like, don't get pulled over.

• 58:27Speaker 03

  I know, it was honestly, it made it seem like.

• 58:29Speaker 02

  If you see, if you see a police officer on the road, just be really careful.

• 58:32Speaker 03

  It did seem like it was that.

• 58:33Speaker 02

  You'll be fine.

• 58:35Speaker 03

  It did seem like it was that.

• 58:35Speaker 02

  And red is like, probably get a taxi.

• 58:37Speaker 03

  Red, get a taxi. But, um, anyway, this journalist, he did it for 40 days. And the detail I liked was he'd have four beers a day.

• 58:47Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 58:47Speaker 03

  But on Saturday and Sunday, he'd have five. So on the weekend, he'd have a pint. It was nice. Do you know what I mean? So it's the weekend, I'll have a beer.

• 58:55Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 58:57Speaker 03

  That's quite sweet. It reminded me of a joke, um, that I heard about, um. And apologies to any Irishishness, it is an Irishman joke, I hope that's.

• 59:07Speaker 02

  That's fine.

• 59:08Speaker 03

  Sometimes in the jokes, for some reason, the Irishman is seems to be a silly man. I don't really know why. But anyways, he goes to the pub.

• 59:15Speaker 02

  The good news is, is that the Irish have a really fucking great sense of humour and they don't get.

• 59:19Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 59:19Speaker 02

  They don't worry about themselves with this sort of nonsense.

• 59:22Speaker 03

  For whatever reason, for whatever reason, it's an Irishman joke. But basically, it's a guy, he goes to the pub. And he always gets uh two pints of Guinness and he says that one's for him and one's for his brother who's died. So he always has a pint for his brother who's died.

• 59:34Speaker 02

  Sure.

• 59:34Speaker 03

  And then one day he goes in, he just gets one pint and he says, yeah, I've decided to give up drinking. And it reminded me a little bit of uh of this story about the guy having having a drink on the weekend. After a week of only drinking beer.

• 59:47Speaker 02

  After a week of losing.

• 59:49Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 59:49Speaker 02

  Then he can finally have a drink at the weekend.

• 59:51Speaker 03

  So it um, I like that. And he he said it was, you know, it worked. He was. He got permission from his work to do it and it sounds like he wasn't pissed. He was actually fairly clear headed. It's not really enough alcohol, I would have thought, over the course of a day. I mean, you're not soaking it up, but you are. You're probably able to metabolise it more quickly.

• 1:00:12Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:00:13Speaker 03

  And of course, one of the reasons you put on weight if you drink alcohol is that. Your body metabolises the alcohol first. Because it's strictly speaking a poison.

• 1:00:24Speaker 02

  Hmm.

• 1:00:24Speaker 03

  Before it begins to metabolise the food. So you it spends less. I don't know, energy metabolising the food. So more of the food will be converted to fat than if you don't. Drink. Because the alcohol is sort of metabolised first.

• 1:00:38Speaker 02

  I did do some.

• 1:00:39Speaker 03

  Anyway, was that a good fact?

• 1:00:40Speaker 02

  I really.

• 1:00:41Speaker 03

  Yeah, it was and it was the Paulana Brewery, which you can still get beer from to this to this day.

• 1:00:47Speaker 02

  The problem is right, is I love all that shit. I absolutely love that, especially the the history of beer is absolutely fascinating.

• 1:00:53Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:00:54Speaker 02

  Absolutely incredible. Once um it was the the woman's job, the the woman of the house. She would be in charge of the.

• 1:01:03Speaker 03

  Because it. Brew the beer?

• 1:01:04Speaker 02

  Yeah, because it was very much um. It it very much was sort of seen.

• 1:01:10Speaker 03

  She'd be in charge of how pissed the husband got as well. So that'd be quite good.

• 1:01:13Speaker 02

  But it was.

• 1:01:13Speaker 03

  She'd be quite good sort of control.

• 1:01:16Speaker 02

  I suppose because it has something to do with yeast and stuff like that. It was very much along the same.

• 1:01:21Speaker 03

  Like cooking.

• 1:01:21Speaker 02

  It was, yeah, it was in the same bracket as bread.

• 1:01:25Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 1:01:25Speaker 02

  Baking bread, making beer, it was the same thing. And um.

• 1:01:31Speaker 02

  The the women would take turns in the street. It would be, oh, Shirley's doing it this weekend. And they'd put this, I can't remember what it is, it was some sort of branch or some sort of leaf on the door. To let the to let the community know, oh, there's beer going on in here. And people would turn up with even either tankards or bowls and things like that. And it was it was always like someone's turn to do it in the community to do the to do the beer that week.

• 1:02:05Speaker 03

  Probably quite weak if they're brewing it.

• 1:02:07Speaker 02

  It was it was weak because also it was um because water was so dangerous.

• 1:02:12Speaker 03

  It's a way of sterilising water. I'm sure I've told you this, but um a friend of mine at university said that. He had this theory that all the differences between. Western culture and eastern culture could be traced back to the fact that in the west, water was sterilised by. Brewing it and in the the east, water was sterilised by boiling it. It's an interesting thought. I'm not only every difference, but if you have a beer culture versus if you have a.

• 1:02:45Speaker 02

  Yeah, I'm not sure that's true. Yeah, well. Yeah, well, Middle East, I assume he's talking about.

• 1:02:51Speaker 03

  I think so, yes. I think I think, yes, exactly. So I think I think he's talking about.

• 1:02:54Speaker 02

  Because like Asia, I'd fucking love a little drop of rice wine and all that and.

• 1:02:59Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:03:00Speaker 02

  Um, yeah, Middle East were very um for religious purposes and social purposes, like for for all that sort of. Uh, they didn't really drink that much, did they? But we fucking loved it. We loved it in Europe. We couldn't get enough of the stuff.

• 1:03:13Speaker 03

  We loved it. And we didn't have coffee for ages. We had nothing on coffee.

• 1:03:16Speaker 02

  I know.

• 1:03:16Speaker 03

  You you don't really like it, but like, I'd honestly think coffee probably had a cultural impact.

• 1:03:21Speaker 02

  Absolutely.

• 1:03:21Speaker 03

  In terms of keeping people sharp and keeping them awake.

• 1:03:24Speaker 02

  Absolutely. But also things like revolutions and stuff like that. It was the it was the exact same thing as beer. Like people would meet up in coffee shops and stuff and and talk about what we need.

• 1:03:33Speaker 03

  If you don't want a revolution, I reckon you want your population drinking beer rather than coffee. I'd write if if I was if I was a monarch who didn't want a revolution, I'd say I'd just I'd rather they were pissed. Well, it's sort of like that. Because they won't get themselves, they'll fall asleep.

• 1:03:48Speaker 02

  I think that's a Bill Bailey joke of like people that want to legalise cannabis. But they just can't really get their shit together.

• 1:03:55Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:03:55Speaker 02

  So they're like, right, what are we here to do? Right, we need to, we need to make sure we legalize. What are the benefits? Oh, man, I don't come.

• 1:04:04Speaker 03

  Yeah. Um, it's, I, today, there's a very high rate of us, everything we say turns out to just be in some other.

• 1:04:10Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:04:11Speaker 03

  Show or.

• 1:04:11Speaker 02

  We're so influenced. We're the, we're.

• 1:04:13Speaker 03

  We're in, we're not influencers.

• 1:04:15Speaker 02

  No, we're influenced. Yeah. I think we're the first generation because it is.

• 1:04:19Speaker 03

  We're like customers.

• 1:04:21Speaker 02

  Apparently, like, the, the, when you, you know, when a civilization is going to end, apparently, when, when, um, they start getting really, well, it was like what you were saying.

• 1:04:32Speaker 03

  Nostalgic.

• 1:04:33Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's like what you were saying when your, when your grandfather.

• 1:04:35Speaker 03

  That's right.

• 1:04:36Speaker 02

  Smashed that piano and stuff. And because it was just like, fuck, fuck that.

• 1:04:40Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:04:41Speaker 02

  We've got much better stuff coming up.

• 1:04:42Speaker 03

  Exactly.

• 1:04:43Speaker 02

  Whereas now, we're all like, oh, it was much better before. And apparently, that's the sort of, that's the natural end to something and then something else will start.

• 1:04:54Speaker 03

  It does strike me that the only people who are genuinely optimistic about the future are those guys in Silicon Valley.

• 1:05:02Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:05:03Speaker 03

  And their idea of the future is.

• 1:05:04Speaker 02

  Coders, people that can code stuff.

• 1:05:05Speaker 03

  Quite weird. But I think their idea of the future is like, I'll be on an island and I'll be immortal.

• 1:05:11Speaker 02

  Right.

• 1:05:11Speaker 03

  And so they're up, then you're like, yeah, but have you got like a vision for everyone?

• 1:05:14Speaker 02

  Like that guy who's trying to live forever.

• 1:05:16Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:05:17Speaker 02

  Billionaire. He does.

• 1:05:19Speaker 03

  Isn't he injecting his son's blood into him or something? I'm sure there's a guy who's got his son involved.

• 1:05:23Speaker 04

  Yeah, I think he did do that. Yeah.

• 1:05:25Speaker 02

  Did he?

• 1:05:25Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:05:25Speaker 02

  That sounds like witchcraft or something. That sounds a bit nonsense.

• 1:05:29Speaker 03

  It's funny, it's just gone back to being, you just say it could almost be something from the Middle Ages.

• 1:05:33Speaker 02

  Yeah. To be fair, he does look much better.

• 1:05:36Speaker 04

  He looks a bit weird.

• 1:05:37Speaker 02

  He does look weird, don't get me wrong, but he looks, he looks better now as an older person than he did when he was younger. But I don't know if that's because of the way he's living, or if he's just had some sort of surgery or something, botox and things like that.

• 1:05:54Speaker 03

  Hmm. Yeah.

• 1:05:55Speaker 02

  Because your outside doesn't really reflect your inside a lot of the time. You said something to me and I'm sure I've spoken about this podcast because it's a thing that I don't, I don't think I go for a day without thinking this. You said to me once, um, the better you look on the outside, the worse you feel on the inside and vice versa.

• 1:06:15Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:06:15Speaker 02

  Because I was like, because I've been like, I've been through, I've been through like bouts of depression where I'm not like sleeping or eating and stuff like that, but I look fucking jagged and thin.

• 1:06:25Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:06:25Speaker 02

  And I look like a sort of rock star or something.

• 1:06:27Speaker 03

  The worse you feel, the better you look.

• 1:06:28Speaker 02

  I've had sort of times in my life where I'm really, really happy and like I'm happy now, like I'm married to Claire, I've got my kids and stuff. So I love sleeping, I love eating.

• 1:06:36Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:06:37Speaker 02

  But I look like shit.

• 1:06:38Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:06:38Speaker 02

  But I feel great.

• 1:06:40Speaker 03

  I'm in that phase as well. I know I could lose a bit of weight, but my self-esteem is high enough that I just don't really give a shit.

• 1:06:45Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:06:46Speaker 03

  I don't really think it's my job. It's not my job to lose weight.

• 1:06:48Speaker 02

  No.

• 1:06:48Speaker 03

  It just honestly isn't. Like if I'm tired and I can eat and do a, have a, a better thought in my head and like sort of come up with an idea, then I should do that because that's sort of my job.

• 1:07:00Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:07:01Speaker 03

  It's not most people's job to be thin and it's not what makes human beings special. If you were looking at history of all the animals, you wouldn't go, oh, and then this one animal came along and they were human beings. And what was amazing about them was how they looked. Bollocks. It's not, it's ridiculous, isn't it? Don't worry about how you look.

• 1:07:16Speaker 02

  Do you know what, Joe, you are, you are dangerously close to tapping into something quite meaningful there, which I will have nothing to do with.

• 1:07:24Speaker 03

  Let's move on.

• 1:07:25Speaker 02

  Let's, um, listen, I don't have a fact. I was looking at my facts and they are just rubbish. Like one of them was like Bono gave up, um, listening to music that he likes for Lent.

• 1:07:37Speaker 02

  Like I couldn't, I couldn't find anything. Oh, like that was the most interesting thing. But for Lent, one, one year, Bono.

• 1:07:44Speaker 03

  What point listening to that? It's not helpful, is it?

• 1:07:48Speaker 02

  I assume Bono really loves music. He's a musician and stuff. So for Lent, one year he was like, I am not going to listen to any music that I like.

• 1:07:56Speaker 03

  So what was he listening to?

• 1:07:57Speaker 02

  I don't know if he was listening to music that he hates.

• 1:07:59Speaker 03

  I've got a Peppa Pig album he can listen to if you want to listen to stuff now that, um, because that is on all the fucking time in my car and it's mental.

• 1:08:08Speaker 02

  That was honestly as far as I got, like, and I'd spent a long time looking into stuff and that, that was the only thing I remembered from my research.

• 1:08:15Speaker 03

  I think that's, I mean, it's.

• 1:08:17Speaker 02

  Well, there you go.

• 1:08:18Speaker 03

  Done. We've done an episode. We've got to the end.

• 1:08:20Speaker 02

  I'm all fact out.

• 1:08:21Speaker 03

  I'm fact out.

• 1:08:22Speaker 02

  Um. What have we learnt today?

• 1:08:23Speaker 03

  Chattered.

• 1:08:24Speaker 02

  We have learnt that if you want to live a long, healthy life, don't just eat baked beans. Um, we have also learnt, um, that

• 1:08:34Speaker 02

  Bono loves music. Um, we've also learnt that, what was your one, Joe?

• 1:08:39Speaker 03

  That you can, you can, you can get by forty days, uh, just having four beers a day and five, five on the weekend.

• 1:08:45Speaker 02

  That is a dangerous lesson. Um, so thank you so much for listening. We hope that you've learnt something and you've had a nice time. Uh, we'll be back, we'll be back next week to a hundred more facts chats and giving up acts.

• 1:08:58Speaker 04

  What was that? Yeah, Lent, giving up stuff.

• 1:09:01Speaker 02

  Giving up acts.

• 1:09:02Speaker 03

  Giving up acts.

• 1:09:03Speaker 04

  Come on, come on.

• 1:09:04Speaker 03

  It's okay.

• 1:09:05Speaker 02

  That's the, I, I love you.

• 1:09:06Speaker 04

  Is that the worst?

• 1:09:07Speaker 02

  Yeah, that's the worst one.

• 1:09:08Speaker 04

  Fine. Yeah, okay.

• 1:09:09Speaker 02

  Oh, it's not. Yeah, you need, yeah, thank God Katie's here to remind you that you've done stuff shitter. Um, don't forget you can get in touch with us if you'd like us to fact check something that feels true to you. Fucking the bringer of doom.

• 1:09:24Speaker 02

  Looming over us.

• 1:09:25Speaker 04

  It's been a long episode, Katie's just slacking us all off.

• 1:09:28Speaker 03

  It's been on, hasn't it?

• 1:09:29Speaker 02

  Don't forget you can get in touch with us if you'd like us to fact check something that feels true to you or whatever nonsense you'd like to tell us by emailing us. Hello at joeandjamespod.com, WhatsApping us, oh seven eight two two zero three four three three zero. And our social media handle is at joeandjamespod. So head to the podcast description if you've already forgotten those details. That was a podcast, Joe. We've got another two more to film right now. Yeah, come on.

• 1:10:04Speaker 05

  Hey, it's Adam Grant from Ted's Rethinking Podcast. As businesses scale, success depends on how well knowledge is captured, shared and kept up to date. Camtasia Pro turns teams' expertise into engaging training, onboarding and documentation. No professional editing experience required. With the industry's best screen recording, video editing and AI-powered workflows, you can train faster and boost operational efficiency. Get over a hundred dollars off your first year at camtasia pro.com and start building a smarter way to educate customers, onboard employees and ensure valuable expertise is shared across teams.

• 1:10:38Speaker 07

  Hello, this is Susie Ruffel. And Maisie Adam. And together we host Big Kick Energy. Hey Mais, what is it? Only the best podcast ever. Yes! A comedy, entertainment podcast with a focus on all things women's football, all things hilarious, all things friendship. It's a laugh is what it is, Ruffel. Yeah, and a fair bit of gossiping too. Oh, and a lovely bit of gossip. Chow down on the gossip. Nom, nom, nom, nom, nom. You can listen wherever you get your podcasts, you just need to search Big Kick Energy. Grab a knife and fork and tuck in, baby.