How Can We Make Attenborough Live Forever?

This week Joe Thomas and James Buckley discuss the one-sheet wipe, moving to live with Bluey, and they celebrate a very special birthday - the one and only David Attenborough! Plus, the Fact Boys are back to settle the ultimate debate: what kills more each year - sharks or coconuts? GET IN TOUCH: Whatsapp us - wa.me/447822034330 http://wa.me/447822034330 Fill in our Fact Up Form - https://forms.gle/uzF6XWPqaA5aNTtN7 Subscribe on Youtube - www.youtube.com/@JoeandJamesPod/videos http://www.youtube.com/@JoeandJamesPod/videos Follow us on Instagram - www.instagram.com/joeandjamespod http://www.instagram.com/joeandjamespod Follow us on TikTok - www.tiktok.com/@joeandjamespod http://www.tiktok.com/@joeandjamespod Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy https://acast.com/privacy for more information.

• 0:00Speaker 00

  BJ's 42% off thank you celebration is our way of saying thank you for 42 years. Bring home family favourites for an unprecedented 42% off BJ's everyday low prices. All five pound ground beef, fresh chicken drumsticks, potatoes, apples and more. Plus, free slices of cake on weekends. Shop BJ's Wholesale Club for once in a lifetime 42% savings through October 31st. Thank you for being a BJ's member. Terms apply. Visit BJ's.com for details. Not a member? Join BJ's today.

• 0:32Speaker 01

  I'm Claire Buckley and this Halloween on my podcast, Pretty Scary, we are going to cover the stories that keep you up at night. Real crimes, ghosts and aliens. Plus, the scariest movies to watch this spooky season with the lights off. So, as the nights draw in, the pumpkins are carved and somewhere in the dark, something is scratching at the window. It's probably just the cat, right? Get the candles lit in search for Pretty Scary with Claire Buckley.

• 1:11Speaker 02

  Do you know many Karens? Oh God, yeah, they're fucking... My, um, my first crush at school was called Karen. Karen Bentstead. Have you ever looked her up these days? No. So she's getting on? No, I don't know. I mean, it's weird. I was only about six. And, um, I once, and I got into a fight over her with a boy called Billy Leffwitch. He, he pinned me down and he told her that he fancied Karen. And I was nicking her off him. Wow. Again, like, we were six. Yeah, yeah. And I wasn't really, I can't help it, she... I wouldn't look her, yeah. It's my fault. Exes are exes for a reason though, John. Yeah, yeah, that's true. I wouldn't go back.

• 1:55Speaker 02

  No, no, I don't think so. No. Too much water under the bridge since you were both six.

• 2:01Speaker 03

  Hmm.

• 2:02Speaker 02

  One time there was a girl in my class who I fancied. I mean, again, I was seven.

• 2:09Speaker 03

  Right.

• 2:10Speaker 02

  She came over to me and I was like, oh my God, she's come. I could see she's, she's literally coming over to me. She came over to me and she went, yeah, you've got the wrong sweatshirt on. You've got the infant school sweatshirt on. Not the junior school. I was like, oh yeah. And it was really embarrassing because the infant school sweatshirt had three ducklings on it. That's something, yeah. And again, once, and another one time it happened, I was at the swimming baths. Do people still say that? And I was queuing for the, um, uh, jumpy things, whatever they're called. The diving platforms.

• 2:43Speaker 03

  Oh, right, yeah.

• 2:43Speaker 02

  And a, a girl, again, came, I was like, oh, she's come over, girls come over to me. And she went, yeah, the label's sticking out your trunks. Um, and it says ages seven to eight.

• 2:52Speaker 03

  How old were you, fourteen?

• 2:54Speaker 02

  I was about twelve. So, in a way though, good physique.

• 2:58Speaker 03

  That's it.

• 2:59Speaker 02

  Still get into them. Yeah, I, I was skinny.

• 3:01Speaker 03

  I can still fit in, exactly.

• 3:03Speaker 02

  Still fit into these. So, you know, I could, snake hips here.

• 3:06Speaker 03

  Seven to eight.

• 3:06Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 3:08Speaker 02

  Those are my two stories. There you go, Rodrigo. What do you think about that? I might honestly just say them on the, I might say them again.

• 3:15Speaker 03

  No, that was fine what we did just say.

• 3:17Speaker 02

  Recording, oh, fine. Oh, okay, fine. I thought, I thought you were coming. Oh, sorry. I thought you were coming over to change a battery or something. Oh, fun. It's been so long since I've, I've been on a set. I had forgotten how cameras work. I was like, what are you doing? Changing the battery? Did you take a light reading? We're all right.

• 3:32Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 3:34Speaker 02

  I cannot, well, I did, I did, I did do a job in New Zealand, but.

• 3:37Speaker 03

  Disposable camera.

• 3:38Speaker 02

  It was so far away that it was like, did it actually happen? Did that experience in New Zealand actually happen?

• 3:44Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah. What's happened about that? Tell us, before we start the podcast properly, tell me, tell me about your New Zealand thing because it sounded so exciting.

• 3:51Speaker 02

  I've, I'm in, I'm in NZ Spy. NZ Spy, as in New Zealand Spy.

• 3:56Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 3:56Speaker 02

  Um, and it's a genuinely funny, uh, sitcom. It's written by the bloke who is the Taskmaster's assistant in New Zealand Taskmaster. Uh, it's written by him and also Rose Matofeo, I think, did quite a lot of writing for it as well. And she's also in it. And um it's about the New it's about the New Zealand spy agency.

• 4:25Speaker 03

  Right.

• 4:25Speaker 02

  And it's got that, you know, New Zealand has that kind of very kind of scrappy outsider vibe. Like they have, and it's set in the seventies as well.

• 4:31Speaker 03

  Right.

• 4:31Speaker 02

  So the idea is, and the seventies, I think, always has that look of like, it's a bit budget. Do you know what I mean? It's a bit crap, the seventies. Um, and basically they're trying to foil a plot um against New Zealand by their greatest enemy, uh, Australia. Which is is really nice. And um, and yeah, it's basically just, uh, it's really funny. It's like, you know, when you suddenly, you you have to do a lot of stuff in your career where you're like, I'm doing this for the money. This isn't, I don't really want to do this. This, I was like, yeah, it's really funny.

• 5:04Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 5:04Speaker 02

  And I got offered the part and I was honestly like, oh, just tell me what's wrong with it. Tell me, like, tell me the catch. Tell me, like, the way in which it's actually really shit or humiliating.

• 5:13Speaker 03

  Yeah, why are they asking me to do this?

• 5:15Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah, right, yeah.

• 5:16Speaker 03

  There's got to be something wrong with it.

• 5:18Speaker 02

  Yeah. And I mean, I think, you know, I would say if there, I would say if there was any catch, it would have just merely been that that other people who could have played my part were not available. But that's, I was like, that's fine. That's.

• 5:31Speaker 03

  Joe.

• 5:32Speaker 02

  Um, that's fine as a catch.

• 5:33Speaker 03

  Listen, mate.

• 5:34Speaker 02

  I'm happy with that.

• 5:35Speaker 03

  I know the facts. I I know for a fact I'm not the top of anyone's list. So when a job does come, if I, if.

• 5:42Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 5:43Speaker 03

  If everyone was always available all the time, I'd never work.

• 5:46Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah.

• 5:48Speaker 03

  But that's it. That's what you've got to do. You've got to go in, here's a little thing that'll make you feel good about that. Um, so have you heard of a little show called Only Fools and Horses?

• 5:57Speaker 02

  Just a bit.

• 5:58Speaker 03

  Uh, just a bit. So, um, the role of Del Boy was originally, uh, offered to Jim Broadbent.

• 6:06Speaker 02

  Oh, okay.

• 6:07Speaker 03

  Who turned it down. And I think David Jason was famously third or fourth on the list. And he really wanted to play the part and he had to convince people. He was like, yeah, so really audition for it and stuff. And he fought for the part. Can you ever imagine anyone else, well, apart from me?

• 6:26Speaker 03

  No, but you don't like the proper version, um, playing that part today.

• 6:31Speaker 02

  No, it is amazing. When you think of.

• 6:33Speaker 03

  So that's how it works. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. As long as you get in and you go, I'm going to show these people that I could have, you know, I could, I could do it.

• 6:43Speaker 02

  Yeah. You know, these things.

• 6:45Speaker 03

  I was gonna say, I could do it better than those, but the more I've sort of thought about that.

• 6:49Speaker 02

  Well, the point is they'll never know.

• 6:51Speaker 03

  They'll never know.

• 6:52Speaker 02

  They'll never know. I mean, that's, that's the beautiful thing.

• 6:54Speaker 03

  Um, so what is it? Is it six part?

• 6:57Speaker 02

  Six part.

• 6:57Speaker 03

  Yeah. Half hour?

• 6:59Speaker 02

  Half hour. And.

• 7:02Speaker 03

  Well, what about us UK dwellers? Will we ever get to see it, do you think?

• 7:06Speaker 02

  Well, it's been distributed by BBC Studios, but I'm not really sure what, what exactly they are.

• 7:13Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 7:13Speaker 02

  Cause they, they are not the quite, they're, they're the, well, we all know they're the commercial arm of the BBC.

• 7:19Speaker 03

  Right.

• 7:20Speaker 02

  But that means that they acquire things and, and also I think they sometimes make, they make shows for ITV sometimes.

• 7:26Speaker 03

  Yeah, you see that all the time.

• 7:28Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 7:28Speaker 03

  And vice versa.

• 7:29Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 7:29Speaker 03

  You see something from BBC and it says like ITV Studios.

• 7:32Speaker 02

  Yeah. So.

• 7:33Speaker 03

  It's really weird.

• 7:33Speaker 02

  There's some cross pollination there, but I, I assume it'll be on, I mean, initially it'll be on like NZ TV, which is the, the broadcaster in, in New Zealand.

• 7:43Speaker 03

  Right.

• 7:43Speaker 02

  Or not, not the, they got, they got more than one. Obviously they're, you know, they're a fully fledged country and they're right. I'm not, no one's denying that. They've got, you know, they're really, they're really, they're doing very well now.

• 7:54Speaker 03

  They'll all gather around the TV.

• 7:56Speaker 02

  They will do. Yeah. They have, and they've, they've got their own little government and everything. And like, I don't know. I don't think it's got many. I think we still sort of, but you know, it, but like, they've got, you know, they're really, you know, I think we, as, as the United Kingdom, we can be very proud of New Zealand and they've really come along. No, they're amazing. I mean.

• 8:16Speaker 03

  They're gonna find that really funny.

• 8:17Speaker 02

  It's really, um.

• 8:18Speaker 03

  I never got to go there. I'm going.

• 8:21Speaker 02

  Yeah. You were saying you didn't get to go on the.

• 8:23Speaker 03

  When we were doing the press tour, I had to come home because it was my kid's first birthday. So I had to come all the way home. We were in Australia. We were there. Just another little bit.

• 8:35Speaker 02

  Yeah. That's the thing, it's quite a long way from Australia and Australia is already like.

• 8:41Speaker 03

  Really, yeah. But it's closer to Australia than it is the UK.

• 8:46Speaker 02

  You're right about that.

• 8:47Speaker 03

  If you're in Australia, you might as well.

• 8:49Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 8:50Speaker 03

  Uh, it, change up your plans or whatever to just go and check out New Zealand before you head back.

• 8:55Speaker 02

  Well, I was in New Zealand, didn't go to the South Island.

• 8:59Speaker 03

  Just, um.

• 9:00Speaker 02

  No point.

• 9:02Speaker 03

  It was, where was it, they, where, what, where did they do?

• 9:05Speaker 02

  Lord of the Rings, the South Island.

• 9:07Speaker 03

  That was it.

• 9:07Speaker 02

  But there's also a Hobbiton world in the North Island.

• 9:12Speaker 03

  So that's nothing to do with the Lord of the Rings set though.

• 9:15Speaker 02

  Nah, I think the idea is that people, and we didn't go there either.

• 9:19Speaker 03

  I remember.

• 9:20Speaker 02

  They remember. Well, the thing is that people, there was a lot of, there was a lot of encouragement to kind of go to the South Island because it's very, very beautiful. But we were filming in Auckland, which is the, the biggest city. So it's not the capital. Again, it's one of these, it's never, the capital's never the biggest city.

• 9:33Speaker 03

  No.

• 9:33Speaker 02

  Well, apart from London, it's quite, but it seems to be often the case that like the capital's like somewhere over there.

• 9:38Speaker 03

  It's like Sydney.

• 9:40Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 9:41Speaker 03

  I was like, what's the capital of Australia? It's obviously Sydney. It's the one that everyone mentions. Is it Cairns or something in it?

• 9:47Speaker 02

  Canberra.

• 9:48Speaker 03

  Canberra.

• 9:50Speaker 03

  Still don't know.

• 9:50Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah. Well, what's the capital of, of Brazil? Brasilia. Again, modern, like, no one really, you know. Sure, it's very nice, but I, I.

• 10:02Speaker 03

  I like that. That makes sense.

• 10:05Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 10:05Speaker 03

  Capital Brazil, Brasilia. Capital, Mexico.

• 10:08Speaker 02

  Mexico City.

• 10:09Speaker 03

  Mexico City.

• 10:09Speaker 02

  And I, but Brazil's got the name, but like you would assume that the two biggest cities in, the two ones that I would think of is Sao Paulo and Rio de Janeiro. Sao Paulo. I did, do I do, did I try and do a little?

• 10:20Speaker 03

  No, I'm just thinking, I'm just thinking of.

• 10:22Speaker 02

  Sao Paulo.

• 10:23Speaker 03

  I was just waiting for you to say Rio de Janeiro, which is one of my favourite words to say.

• 10:28Speaker 02

  Rio de Janeiro, yeah.

• 10:29Speaker 03

  Rio de Janeiro.

• 10:30Speaker 02

  But, but no, it's, um, and I suppose you could say America a bit, like, you know, New York, you might think is the capital, maybe LA.

• 10:37Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's Washington.

• 10:39Speaker 02

  Washington DC.

• 10:40Speaker 03

  Yeah, which is not the same as Washington State.

• 10:43Speaker 02

  No, it's not.

• 10:44Speaker 03

  They should have gone, America City.

• 10:46Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah. Well, what does it mean, Washington, like? Del, Del Capito, there's a word.

• 10:54Speaker 03

  I don't know what the, the DC stands for actually, I've never thought about it.

• 10:56Speaker 02

  Something like Latin or something, right? It's, it's, um, and it's there because it's midway between two other places that.

• 11:03Speaker 03

  Is it Philadelphia and New York, do you think?

• 11:06Speaker 02

  Yes, it might be because, well, Philadelphia as well, they had the Constitutional Convention.

• 11:11Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 11:14Speaker 02

  But there's also, was it, I think, Virginia?

• 11:16Speaker 03

  Virginia.

• 11:17Speaker 02

  Virginia was somewhere.

• 11:18Speaker 03

  Isn't Virginia really close to Washington, though? It's not like midway.

• 11:22Speaker 02

  What's the main, what's the capital state, city of Virginia?

• 11:27Speaker 03

  Where does American Dad live?

• 11:31Speaker 03

  Where does he live? Something falls.

• 11:35Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah.

• 11:38Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah.

• 11:39Speaker 03

  District.

• 11:40Speaker 02

  I always thought it's about, like, da capital.

• 11:43Speaker 03

  Da capital.

• 11:45Speaker 02

  I think I really did think it was that. It's like.

• 11:48Speaker 03

  Ali G.

• 11:48Speaker 02

  Washington, da capital.

• 11:52Speaker 02

  No, I think I really did think it was that. District of Columbia, of course it is.

• 11:57Speaker 04

  Langley Falls.

• 11:58Speaker 03

  Langley Falls.

• 11:59Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 11:59Speaker 04

  That's the fictional town where American Dad.

• 12:01Speaker 03

  Oh, it's a fictional town. I thought it was real.

• 12:04Speaker 04

  It's what you'll know, the capital of Virginia.

• 12:05Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 12:06Speaker 02

  Can I just say, speaking of fictional places, we watch quite a lot of Bluey, because our daughter, and.

• 12:11Speaker 03

  Do you know who loves Bluey in our house, by the way?

• 12:13Speaker 02

  You, Claire?

• 12:14Speaker 03

  No, my dog. Fucking loves it.

• 12:17Speaker 02

  Because it's.

• 12:21Speaker 02

  Oh, really?

• 12:22Speaker 03

  Jude and, Jude and the dogs sit there watching Bluey together.

• 12:25Speaker 02

  And also, what's amazing is, like, it is, it's about dogs.

• 12:28Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 12:29Speaker 02

  Anyway, I caught Hannah Googling, uh, uh, where do they film Bluey?

• 12:36Speaker 02

  Because she wants to move there.

• 12:38Speaker 03

  Right.

• 12:39Speaker 02

  Because she thinks it looks really nice.

• 12:40Speaker 03

  Cartoon, right?

• 12:41Speaker 02

  It's a cartoon, well, it's a cartoon about dogs.

• 12:43Speaker 03

  And also, aren't they Australian?

• 12:45Speaker 02

  And it's in Australia.

• 12:45Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 12:46Speaker 02

  I think she knew that, but she, I think she literally Googled, where in Brisbane do they film Bluey?

• 12:49Speaker 03

  Right.

• 12:50Speaker 02

  Because she thinks it looks, she thinks that cul-de-sac looks really nice, and I think she's literally, like, on Zoopla, like, well, how much is an average house on that street?

• 12:57Speaker 03

  I saw, um, a parody.

• 13:01Speaker 03

  Account of Bluey before I knew what actual Bluey was. I'd heard about this phenomenon, Bluey.

• 13:07Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 13:08Speaker 03

  It's it's really sort of taken off this Bluey thing.

• 13:11Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 13:11Speaker 03

  That's what I've been hearing, that's the stuff.

• 13:13Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 13:13Speaker 03

  And it came up like on Instagram or YouTube or something for me and it was like, oh, fuck off dad, like the and I was like, this is well funny.

• 13:22Speaker 03

  I was like, oh, I get it now because it looks like a kids' show. It looks like a kids'.

• 13:25Speaker 02

  Oh, I see. Okay, yeah.

• 13:27Speaker 03

  Oh, fuck you, mum. And they're like saying, doing all this.

• 13:32Speaker 02

  Do you remember a television programme called Pugwall?

• 13:34Speaker 03

  No, Pugwall.

• 13:36Speaker 02

  Do you remember that, Katie? Yeah. It was it was about, so real world, not animation.

• 13:42Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 13:43Speaker 02

  About a young man called Pugwall, fronting a little band known as the Orange Organics. And it was just about him trying to get famous.

• 13:52Speaker 03

  I don't know this.

• 13:52Speaker 02

  And they had one song and it went, nobody tells me what to do. No, not me. Nobody tells me what to say. Can't you see? I've got a dream, I'm gonna make it. If there's a chance, I'm gonna take it.

• 14:12Speaker 02

  So basically he had one song.

• 14:14Speaker 03

  Not heard.

• 14:15Speaker 02

  It was, we had one song and it was about the fact that he was in a band and he. Eighty nine, yeah. And he had a little sister called Marmaloid.

• 14:24Speaker 03

  Marmaloid?

• 14:25Speaker 02

  Marmaloid. I don't know. What are they doing? What's toadfish marmaloid? What are you doing? I mean, I.

• 14:29Speaker 03

  Are they Australian? Is this an Australian TV show? Is that why you're talking about this?

• 14:33Speaker 02

  It's an Australian TV show.

• 14:34Speaker 03

  Right, I was gonna say, yeah.

• 14:35Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's an Australian TV show.

• 14:36Speaker 03

  Yeah, oh yeah. Fucking Australian kids TV. Fucking odd.

• 14:40Speaker 02

  I also just think, I have to say, I think Australian TV is just really good. Like, I saw I saw a documentary recently about the, um, you know, the woman who poisoned those people with mushrooms?

• 14:51Speaker 03

  No.

• 14:51Speaker 02

  Remember that? Erin Pattison.

• 14:53Speaker 03

  Right. Is she Australian?

• 14:56Speaker 02

  Yeah, she poisoned. Her in-laws, basically, with, I mean.

• 15:03Speaker 03

  It happens.

• 15:04Speaker 02

  We've all been there, we've all been there, yeah. And I'm just talking, I'm just talking about Hannah's cooking.

• 15:08Speaker 03

  Well.

• 15:09Speaker 02

  Oh.

• 15:11Speaker 02

  Nah, um, yeah, she used death cap mushrooms and she poisoned them.

• 15:14Speaker 03

  Right.

• 15:15Speaker 02

  And, um, there was a documentary on Netflix, uh, I believe. And it was just very well made and, and, and Australian production company. And I just thought, I think, I feel like TV as a whole has got worse recently, but I think no one's told Australia. So they, they keep on having to be like, you've got to be really good to get something made. And you're like, you don't actually, but like, don't, don't tell Australia. Cause like they keep, they think the standard's still really high.

• 15:41Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 15:42Speaker 02

  Cause what else do they do?

• 15:44Speaker 03

  Round the twist. I don't even know. I still don't even know. I watched that every fucking day when I was a kid. Still don't really know.

• 15:52Speaker 02

  It's basically tells of the unexpected.

• 15:53Speaker 03

  The situation was, why do they live in a lighthouse? What, what, what's going on there?

• 16:00Speaker 02

  There's another one that's much like it called Eerie Indiana.

• 16:02Speaker 03

  I used to love Eerie Indiana.

• 16:04Speaker 02

  It's, there's something about those, those sort of tales where you're like.

• 16:07Speaker 03

  That was on Channel Four. That wasn't even a kid's show, I don't think.

• 16:10Speaker 02

  I think it was like Young Adult.

• 16:11Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 16:11Speaker 02

  YA.

• 16:12Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 16:13Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 16:13Speaker 03

  YA.

• 16:14Speaker 02

  YA.

• 16:14Speaker 03

  Um.

• 16:14Speaker 02

  Why, why do you know?

• 16:15Speaker 03

  Eerie Indiana.

• 16:16Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 16:16Speaker 03

  Yeah, that was mental. That was mental. That's a really show.

• 16:19Speaker 02

  Similar, similar thing though. And it was, um.

• 16:23Speaker 03

  What was the thing?

• 16:24Speaker 02

  There was, there was a, there was a short story author for children who wrote these, they all seemed to be dipping into the same pool. It was like, there was, there was a short stories for kids. There was Eerie Indiana. There was Round the Twist. There's basically Tales of the Unexpected. It's sort of always the same story, but somehow Paul Jennings, Paul Jennings wrote stories for children as well. And they were all about like, there was one really weird one about a boy who fancied a girl.

• 16:50Speaker 03

  Are you afraid of the dark?

• 16:50Speaker 02

  And then he like killed himself.

• 16:52Speaker 03

  Right.

• 16:52Speaker 02

  And then she found his face in a rose or something. It was, it's genuinely.

• 16:56Speaker 03

  Found his face in a rose?

• 16:57Speaker 02

  Yeah, like she, like a rose turned up on her doorstep and then she looked at the rose petal and like it was his face.

• 17:03Speaker 03

  Yeah, that.

• 17:04Speaker 02

  It's fucking mental. Like it's, you're like, well, that's not, it's not for children.

• 17:08Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 17:08Speaker 02

  And it's not for adults.

• 17:09Speaker 03

  Are you afraid of the dark? That was a bit similar as well. What was the theme song to Eerie Indiana? I feel like it was quite good. I just remember him being on his bike riding at night.

• 17:21Speaker 02

  I wish I'd grown up in one of those.

• 17:22Speaker 03

  I think I only made like thirteen episodes of that thing or something like that.

• 17:26Speaker 02

  That thing about riding around the neighbourhood.

• 17:28Speaker 03

  The neighbourhood at night.

• 17:30Speaker 02

  A la E T.

• 17:31Speaker 03

  Yeah, of course.

• 17:31Speaker 02

  It's that, isn't it? Like going over.

• 17:33Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 17:34Speaker 02

  Oh, remember that? The long, long summer evenings. Let's cycle round to our friend's house.

• 17:39Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 17:39Speaker 02

  And knock for them. Then let's go down to the abandoned quarry.

• 17:43Speaker 03

  Hmm.

• 17:44Speaker 02

  Do you know what I mean? And.

• 17:45Speaker 03

  Yeah, let's go to the.

• 17:46Speaker 02

  Let's throw rocks in there.

• 17:47Speaker 03

  The abandoned thing.

• 17:47Speaker 02

  That crazy guy's there again. They say he killed someone twenty years ago and they never found the body.

• 17:52Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 17:52Speaker 02

  Now he roams the streets. What should you do now? Let's go and have some, um, what are they called? Sh- schmores.

• 17:59Speaker 03

  Schmores.

• 18:00Speaker 02

  Oh, smores. Schmores. Smore schmores.

• 18:04Speaker 03

  Let's go for, um, let's get a malted.

• 18:07Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 18:07Speaker 03

  Shake.

• 18:08Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah.

• 18:09Speaker 03

  What is malt?

• 18:11Speaker 02

  Hannah said this to me literally the other day. She's been talking about Maltesers about three days straight.

• 18:15Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 18:15Speaker 02

  There was some in our fridge. Honestly, true. I, she was, twenty, forty-eight hours in, she was going, what are they made of?

• 18:21Speaker 03

  Yeah, I still don't know what malt is.

• 18:23Speaker 02

  I said it might be honeycomb and she went, oh.

• 18:26Speaker 03

  Cause that's what, um, no, it's not, is it?

• 18:28Speaker 02

  Oh, so she's not going on the internet. She's only asking me.

• 18:30Speaker 03

  Well, that's, that's way more fun than just going on the internet.

• 18:33Speaker 02

  She's in the fact up. She's literally, she's gone full fact up.

• 18:35Speaker 03

  She's gone full fact up.

• 18:35Speaker 02

  She's not, she's, I think she's turned off the internet.

• 18:37Speaker 03

  She's really fact up.

• 18:38Speaker 02

  She's really fact up. She's just asking me now.

• 18:40Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 18:41Speaker 02

  Yeah, she's obsessed with, she's coming with a new round for MasterChef, um.

• 18:44Speaker 03

  But that's what they call Maltesers in America, don't they? Chocolate malt balls.

• 18:49Speaker 03

  I think.

• 18:50Speaker 02

  Right.

• 18:51Speaker 03

  But I don't know what malt is.

• 18:52Speaker 02

  Not bad.

• 18:52Speaker 03

  They go, they go, they get, they get a shake, don't they? Like if you were in the fifties. If you were in the T-Birds or something, you'd go for a malt.

• 19:00Speaker 02

  Okay, you'd pull up in your big car.

• 19:03Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 19:03Speaker 02

  Well, those long American cars.

• 19:04Speaker 03

  Yeah, your big Chevy.

• 19:06Speaker 02

  Are you opening the door to get out of the car? Don't be so stupid. I'm just leaping over the door.

• 19:09Speaker 03

  Yeah, absolutely, of course. Just swi- swiveling.

• 19:13Speaker 02

  Yeah. Hey, Han, says the waitress.

• 19:16Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah.

• 19:18Speaker 02

  The usual. You bet.

• 19:21Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 19:22Speaker 02

  And make it snappy.

• 19:23Speaker 03

  And then some stuffy police officer will come in and go, hey, remember you kids.

• 19:28Speaker 02

  Officer grumble.

• 19:29Speaker 03

  Yeah, I told you kids not to, oh.

• 19:34Speaker 02

  You kids get out of here. Scram. You heard me. Get lost. That's right. Hit the road. Then we will jump in the car. We're opening the door this time.

• 19:43Speaker 03

  No.

• 19:44Speaker 02

  Come on.

• 19:44Speaker 03

  In fact, in fact, if I'm not, if I'm not driving the car, if I'm the sort of, um, I'm not one of the tough guys, but if I'm the, if I'm the comedy.

• 19:53Speaker 02

  Yeah, the comedy guy. Yeah.

• 19:54Speaker 03

  Comedic relief guy.

• 19:55Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 19:56Speaker 03

  Um, I'll wait for the car to start moving and then I'll, I'll.

• 19:59Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah.

• 19:59Speaker 03

  And then I'll, and then I'll jump in.

• 20:01Speaker 02

  Yeah. And it pulls away.

• 20:03Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 20:03Speaker 02

  Cloud of dust.

• 20:05Speaker 03

  And my legs will wiggle.

• 20:06Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 20:08Speaker 05

  Joe and James, fight on.

• 20:14Speaker 06

  At Humana, our Medicare Advantage plans are easy to understand and easy on your wallet. Like offering more benefits than you'd get from original Medicare alone. And including dental, vision and hearing coverage in every plan. And the best part is every plan has a $0 or low monthly plan premium, which makes it easier to save too. So this Medicare planning season, plan well with Humana. Learn more at gethumana.com. Humana is a Medicare Advantage HMO and PPO organisation with a Medicare contract. Enrollment in any Humana plan depends on contract renewal.

• 20:45Speaker 07

  Hello, this is Suzy Ruffel. And Maisie Adams. And together we host Big Kick Energy. Hey Mais, what is it? Only the best podcast ever. Yeah. A comedy entertainment podcast with a focus on all things women's football, all things hilarious, all things friendship. It's a laugh is what it is, Ruffel. Yeah, and a fair bit of gossiping too. Oh, and a lovely bit of gossip. Chow down on the gossip. Nom, nom, nom, nom, nom. You can listen wherever you get your podcasts. You just need to search Big Kick Energy. Grab a knife and fork and tuck in, baby.

• 21:21Speaker 03

  Oh, I'd love to live in the 50s.

• 21:24Speaker 02

  I know. Absolutely fantastic.

• 21:26Speaker 03

  It was racist though, wasn't it? It was quite racist.

• 21:28Speaker 02

  It was quite racist and, um, I think that's what you don't really see as much.

• 21:34Speaker 03

  No.

• 21:35Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 21:37Speaker 03

  You, you think about all the fun stuff about the 50s.

• 21:40Speaker 02

  You pick and choose. You do. You've got a certain memory. I mean, and it's not even a memory. It's like, it's, it's a kind of.

• 21:44Speaker 03

  But then you forget about all the really social injustice.

• 21:47Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 21:47Speaker 03

  But people do the same, I think, with diet now. There's a real sort of, um, there's some real momentum behind us having um, a natural diet.

• 22:00Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 22:01Speaker 03

  Uh, which is, you know, fine.

• 22:03Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 22:03Speaker 03

  But also then sort of, uh, there's a real suspicion about um, medicine. And so it's like, I'm just gonna eat what our ancestors used to eat two hundred thousand years ago. And I'm not gonna have any medicine and, and um.

• 22:21Speaker 02

  But we've covered this. It wasn't what our ancestors were eating, because we've bred things.

• 22:27Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 22:28Speaker 02

  So if you're buying a banana from the supermarket, that is not what a banana looked like.

• 22:33Speaker 03

  Yeah, but I would, but I would argue like.

• 22:35Speaker 02

  Early humans were.

• 22:36Speaker 03

  I would argue like, but like two hundred thousand years ago, that's why when they got to thirty eight, they died.

• 22:42Speaker 02

  Mm hmm.

• 22:42Speaker 03

  It's all the medicine and all the sort of.

• 22:44Speaker 02

  Yeah. Well, also, if you were going.

• 22:46Speaker 03

  Sort of modern technology that keep, that's keep giving us these long lives on, on average.

• 22:53Speaker 02

  Well, it, it, it, I'm, I'm um, listening to an audiobook at the moment, um, to be precise.

• 22:59Speaker 03

  Go on.

• 22:59Speaker 02

  And it's all about, uh, uh, well, it actually is about civilizational collapse is what it's about. But one of the points that the author makes is that, he's Australian as well, just FYI.

• 23:17Speaker 03

  Very Aussie this.

• 23:18Speaker 02

  Very Aussie. Um, is that like ninety nine percent of history happened before we really lived in things that we would now think of as like civilized structures. Like cities. And so just very briefly, on the diet point, the, the lifestyle that humans would have had before they became sedentary. And by sedentary, I don't mean sitting around all day. I just mean living in the same point on the map all year round.

• 23:44Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 23:46Speaker 02

  The, the diet that they would have had then, it's quite likely that it was a lot better for them. It's quite likely that it was a much more mixed diet, because it was foraging and hunting and like different things and always moving.

• 24:00Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 24:01Speaker 02

  Um, whereas in general, when people became in a fixed place all year round, it was because they were tending a crop.

• 24:10Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 24:11Speaker 02

  And that crop was, it would have been a basic crop, like wheat.

• 24:14Speaker 03

  We're only talking like, what, ten thousand years, the last ten thousand years maybe?

• 24:21Speaker 03

  Yeah, the first, like, something like that, yeah.

• 24:23Speaker 02

  Yeah, like, probably like, single units of thousands of years. So like, whereas actually, you've, like, Homo sapiens only, like, two hundred thousand years ago, there, there were actually other types of, um, humans.

• 24:39Speaker 03

  Yeah, other breeds.

• 24:40Speaker 02

  And then it's, other breeds, yeah. And then it's, oh, is it really sad we don't have them anymore? I'd love to see them around.

• 24:45Speaker 03

  Fascinating, wouldn't it? Well, I don't know, man.

• 24:50Speaker 02

  We did interbreed with them a bit, so they're like, so, but, yeah.

• 24:52Speaker 03

  There's people with Neanderthal, um, in them and stuff.

• 24:56Speaker 02

  But, um, so there is this sense that, like, what we tend to, so, as far as I can tell, thus far, his basic point is,

• 25:08Speaker 02

  everything that, this is kind of moving away from the food thing a bit, but everything that we think of as, like, civilization, what we basically mean is, like, fixed structures, stuff that we can see, like, Rome is basically big stuff that's been left over. But when groups of people have got to the point where they're building that stuff, in general, it's because the society has become very, very unequal. So what's happening is that one, like, priestly class, say, is spending all its time building temples for itself, or tombs for itself, or having grand burials where everybody has to collect incredibly rare types of things from, like, many, many, many miles away, just for this one person's, one important person's burial.

• 25:50Speaker 02

  And that's the stuff that when we look back, we think, oh, well, this is civilization, they were getting civilized. But this sort of point is, that isn't really the evidence of anything other than inequality. And in, and in groups of people a long time ago, often, quite soon after, that sort of stuff starts appearing, the big temples and the big tombs and the grand burials, the whole thing falls apart, either because the people who are, realise that their lives are getting worse because a group at the top are taking all the resources, either the people, um, either everyone else, basically, just attacks the elite and burns all their buildings down, or they just leave, they literally just leave, they abandon, they abandon the site.

• 26:29Speaker 02

  And it just makes you think really differently about like basically we we kind of think if if a group of people doesn't leave behind any permanent structures that we can kind of point to and go, there you go. We sort of think they haven't attained a level of civilization, but actually normally that stuff is primarily evidence of inequality. And if you think of the pyramids, the pyramid, what the pyramid is basically loads and loads of slaves making one rich bloke's grave.

• 26:52Speaker 03

  I don't know.

• 26:52Speaker 02

  That's basically what that is.

• 26:52Speaker 03

  When they paid though, when they actually paid.

• 26:54Speaker 02

  Yeah, but like I imagine they had worse lives, worse lives than um.

• 26:56Speaker 03

  I know they were still inequality, yeah.

• 27:00Speaker 03

  And then the sea people turned up.

• 27:02Speaker 02

  Well, that's right.

• 27:03Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 27:03Speaker 02

  Atlantis, you talk about.

• 27:05Speaker 03

  No, no, no. That's what they call them, the sea people. They're, you know, after um the collapse of the Bronze Age.

• 27:09Speaker 02

  So yeah. Yeah.

• 27:12Speaker 03

  Uh, where like it like the written word sort of disappears, there's a massive reset before then things start coming back again. Um, and Egypt, talk about it, there's some sort of, there's some some bits of evidence and bits of writing. And they're just called the sea people and we don't know anything else about them. We don't know anything about them. Apart from there was these groups of people, for one reason or another, they were displaced, like you say, inequality, maybe the the poor harvest and stuff, and they just went on a rampage and just uh uh and toppled.

• 27:53Speaker 03

  Egypt at the time as well was this, it had already been going for thousands of years. It was a huge, well-established sort of thing. But they're just called the sea people and historians just do not really know what the sea people are. They just came on, they were in their ships, they came in and and.

• 28:10Speaker 02

  Sort of tore it all down.

• 28:11Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 28:13Speaker 02

  My god.

• 28:14Speaker 03

  It's amazing, isn't it?

• 28:15Speaker 02

  And that's all kind of recorded in hieroglyphics and stuff, but like.

• 28:19Speaker 03

  Yeah, or or ancient scriptures or or stuff, because it wasn't just the Egyptians, it was the, there was also some people, who were they?

• 28:26Speaker 02

  Sumerians.

• 28:28Speaker 03

  Yeah, they had um to the east of Egypt, they had, they were sort of um two superpowers almost. I mean, it's always the same, it's always the fucking same, two superpowers. Everyone else gets fucking dragged into it and then we all go back to not knowing how to read or write anymore and stuff. It's gonna happen, Joe. And on that note-

• 28:49Speaker 02

  Well, the Einstein quote-

• 28:52Speaker 03

  What's that?

• 28:53Speaker 02

  "I don't know what weapons the Third World War will be fought with, but the Fourth World War will be fought with sticks and stones." How about Einstein?

• 29:01Speaker 03

  There we go.

• 29:02Speaker 02

  He said it's just a big pair of tits.

• 29:07Speaker 05

  Joe and James? Joe and James? Ah, Joe and James.

• 29:12Speaker 05

  Joe and James. Fact up again. Joe and James, Joe and James, Joe and James, Joe and James, Fact Up!

• 29:21Speaker 03

  Hey, welcome to Joe and James Fact Up. Each week, we will be bringing facts to one another that we deem interesting, and our policy is the more interesting, the more true it is. We'll also dig into the weird things that you like to think are true but don't want to research in a segment that we're calling Fact Check. So if you do want to send in your facts, our email is [email protected]. Our WhatsApp is 07822034330. And you can also follow us on our socials, @joandjamespod. And don't forget that you can watch all our episodes in full on YouTube, just search for Joe and James Fact Up. Now, let's get fact up!

• 29:59Speaker 02

  There's also the form, isn't there? Which is weird because we don't say about the form, do we?

• 30:05Speaker 03

  Oh yeah, there's this form-

• 30:06Speaker 02

  There's this form that like-

• 30:08Speaker 03

  I know nothing about this form.

• 30:09Speaker 02

  It's like this show has another kind of analog life-

• 30:11Speaker 03

  There's some sort of link-

• 30:12Speaker 02

  You can get in touch on the internet-

• 30:14Speaker 03

  I think it's in the description. There's some sort of link and you can fill out a form and it just comes to us.

• 30:19Speaker 02

  Can we get PO Box? I'd really like to just go back to post.

• 30:22Speaker 03

  Oh, you don't want to PO Box, honestly, that's such a puny ass-

• 30:24Speaker 02

  You've got to go and unlock it and stuff.

• 30:26Speaker 03

  Who can be arsed? Who can be arsed with that nonsense? It's a good way to get free shit, though.

• 30:32Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 30:33Speaker 03

  Like, companies just send you stuff.

• 30:36Speaker 02

  Well, that's what I'm saying.

• 30:38Speaker 03

  Right, okay. Well, we'll look at it. Well, maybe we'll, yeah. Actually, I've convinced myself of it as well.

• 30:43Speaker 02

  Can we just get a lockup?

• 30:45Speaker 02

  Yeah, lockup. And people can just put anything they want in it.

• 30:48Speaker 03

  We could get stuff delivered to... I don't want to give out the studio address.

• 30:53Speaker 03

  In case that bloke who I didn't have a picture with-

• 30:57Speaker 02

  You've got to let that go.

• 30:58Speaker 03

  Turns out it beats me up.

• 30:59Speaker 02

  He's not gonna beat you up.

• 31:00Speaker 03

  He's like, don't have time for a picture. Who the fuck do you think you are?

• 31:03Speaker 02

  Yeah, I think you've, no, you're obviously, you're remorseful.

• 31:07Speaker 03

  Oh, I'm fuck, I regret, I'm just in deep regret. It's gonna take me until tomorrow before I get over this.

• 31:13Speaker 02

  I don't think, I don't think you'll ever get over it.

• 31:14Speaker 03

  I know, I need a sleep. I need one sleep and then tomorrow some time would have gone and I'll finally forget about that poor bloke that asked me for a picture. But because I'm so busy and important, I couldn't spend 12 seconds just to give some nice guy a picture.

• 31:30Speaker 02

  He could have been terminal yell.

• 31:32Speaker 03

  Oh, Joe, shut up. All right.

• 31:35Speaker 03

  Oh dear. Right, let's carry on.

• 31:36Speaker 02

  Look, it's all right.

• 31:38Speaker 03

  Keep calm and carry on. God.

• 31:40Speaker 02

  Oh, yes.

• 31:41Speaker 03

  Jesus.

• 31:42Speaker 02

  Keep calm and carry on. People love that, don't they?

• 31:44Speaker 03

  They did, didn't they? That was around for a while.

• 31:48Speaker 02

  Oh, I liked it when people put like, keep calm and do Brazilian jiu-jitsu.

• 31:53Speaker 03

  Yeah, keep calm and play video games.

• 31:56Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah.

• 31:58Speaker 03

  Aye.

• 31:58Speaker 02

  They should, I don't, I don't think we did enough of those.

• 32:00Speaker 03

  No, no, I think we did. I think that was a problem.

• 32:03Speaker 02

  We should do a few more.

• 32:03Speaker 03

  It had its moment.

• 32:04Speaker 02

  Keep calm and do versions of keep calm and carry on.

• 32:08Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 32:10Speaker 03

  Right, um, you've been sending us, uh, some, you've been sending us some really fucked up stuff for us to discuss.

• 32:16Speaker 02

  Can I say, it's actually the, the people who are kind of getting in contact, they are the ones now keeping this show afloat. Like, we haven't got anything. Our stuff is absolute dog shit and then they are the ones who actually.

• 32:25Speaker 03

  That's how I operate with everything that I do.

• 32:27Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 32:28Speaker 03

  Yeah. I used to do a, I used to do a live broadcast of me playing video games on the internet every day.

• 32:35Speaker 02

  Hmm.

• 32:35Speaker 03

  And, um, I started to learn that the regular people that would watch the, and get involved in the chat and then I'd eventually pull them in so that I could talk to them.

• 32:48Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 32:49Speaker 03

  On headphones and the broadcast could hear the conversations we're having. I learnt that I had like about a dozen of these incredible characters.

• 32:58Speaker 02

  Hmm.

• 32:59Speaker 03

  Really funny, a bit bizarre.

• 33:01Speaker 02

  Hmm.

• 33:02Speaker 03

  Weird backstories, um, but genuinely quite warm and friendly and, uh, I just, if like, if they didn't turn up to a stream, I'd be like, well, I've got, I've got to do six hours here.

• 33:15Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 33:15Speaker 03

  How the fuck am I gonna get through this now?

• 33:17Speaker 02

  The cast haven't turned up. Yeah.

• 33:20Speaker 03

  And they were, they did, they became cast members and that's how, that's how I think some just stuck in traditional.

• 33:27Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 33:28Speaker 03

  Like when we were talking about this podcast, you thought we were going to do six episodes and then.

• 33:34Speaker 03

  Joe's like, all right, we'll do six episodes of that and then we'll maybe we'll get another series next year or something.

• 33:37Speaker 02

  Yeah, no, it doesn't work like that anymore.

• 33:39Speaker 03

  I know you do on every, every, every week until you die.

• 33:42Speaker 02

  Yeah, absolutely.

• 33:42Speaker 03

  Um, but yeah, no, that's how we've, that's how I've always operated. I think just people are more interesting. People are more interesting than, the gen- generally, even though.

• 33:55Speaker 02

  Well, as we've covered, we've already started to repeat stuff.

• 33:57Speaker 03

  No, but yeah, yeah. But also, even though you're not supposed to know this and you're supposed to think the complete opposite, purely because of marketing and propaganda, actors, um, not so much musicians, but actors especially are boring.

• 34:15Speaker 03

  I know they're supposed to be really interesting people and, but I think you'll find nine times out of 10, most actors don't, and I'm one of these people, genuinely just don't really have a personality, which is why they want to become an actor in the first place.

• 34:29Speaker 02

  I also think it can help.

• 34:30Speaker 03

  Cause you're just like, I'd like to be someone else than me for a little while.

• 34:33Speaker 02

  But I, I also think that acting is, is to a large extent about focusing and I think is a little bit like sport in that regard. And I, I think that sometimes dealing with pressure.

• 34:49Speaker 02

  It, it helps if you are able to focus and sometimes focus is helped by trying to make yourself feel bored. I think like, I, I used to think, like whenever I'd watch Hen.

• 35:02Speaker 03

  Gone, I've gone on that one.

• 35:03Speaker 02

  Okay, all right. No, okay, well, no, so I've, I've, I've, I've done that quite badly, but like, so, so you're taking a penalty in a penalty shootout.

• 35:09Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 35:10Speaker 02

  The best possible mentality you can have is, I actually literally don't care whether I score or not.

• 35:15Speaker 03

  Right.

• 35:16Speaker 02

  That's the mindset you should be, you should genuinely be like, I find both outcomes completely boring.

• 35:21Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 35:21Speaker 02

  Like it's, because it's not gonna, really, really wanting something to happen is just gonna screw you up. And you know, and I always used to remember like, um, you know, like watching Henman, who never managed to quite.

• 35:34Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 35:35Speaker 02

  And now this sounds like I'm having a go at Murray, which I'm not.

• 35:37Speaker 03

  Tiger Tim.

• 35:37Speaker 02

  All right. But I did think that like. There was so much pressure on him.

• 35:42Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 35:42Speaker 02

  And it was, and, and, and the commentators were always going, what he needs to do is just think about how much this means and just desperately try and shut all that out. And you're like, no, this is ridiculous. Like, if, if they could hear, if he could hear you, it would be a disaster for him. It would be a disaster. And that's like, come on, just please try and do it this once. It means so much. You've actually got to be like, if you win, no one fucking cares. If you lose, no one fucking cares. It doesn't really matter. You're gonna die. Everyone's gonna die. Like, then you're more likely to win.

• 36:10Speaker 03

  Bit more zen about it.

• 36:11Speaker 02

  Yeah. And I, and I, I suppose what I'm saying is you, I would say you need to put yourself into a mindset where you're a bit bored.

• 36:16Speaker 03

  That's, uh, uh, isn't that Buddhism? Isn't that the whole of Buddhism?

• 36:22Speaker 02

  Are they bored? I'm not sure they're bored.

• 36:23Speaker 03

  The bloke sat by a tree for years.

• 36:27Speaker 02

  But I think the point is he wasn't bored.

• 36:29Speaker 03

  No, but I think, I think through boredom.

• 36:32Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah.

• 36:33Speaker 03

  He.

• 36:33Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 36:34Speaker 03

  Became enlightened.

• 36:36Speaker 02

  I had a, I had a man. Yeah. I had a man talking on a podcast who'd spent years, um, just staring at a wall, asking himself, what is this? What is this?

• 36:46Speaker 03

  Yeah, I feel like you've told me that before.

• 36:47Speaker 02

  Yeah, I think, as I say, we've repeated. But I'm trying to help you get bored.

• 36:50Speaker 03

  There was a craze, um, there was a craze.

• 36:53Speaker 02

  Let's do my best.

• 36:53Speaker 03

  Um, I think it was in the Middle Ages where people would just sit on the top of pillars.

• 36:59Speaker 02

  Yep.

• 36:59Speaker 03

  For ages.

• 37:00Speaker 02

  The Middle Ages were fucking mental, weren't they? Like, the people who got themselves bricked into the walls of churches. What are you doing?

• 37:05Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 37:06Speaker 02

  Like, what the fuck are you doing? What the fuck has got into you? What are you doing?

• 37:11Speaker 03

  Uh, who is the pope that, um, got everyone all wicked up for the first crusade? His name's brilliant. Urban.

• 37:21Speaker 02

  Urban. Oh, yeah.

• 37:22Speaker 03

  That's great, isn't it?

• 37:25Speaker 02

  Cause some of the, some of the names of the popes, you're like, innocent. Right, fine.

• 37:30Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 37:31Speaker 02

  You know, Bonifas, which I think is, um, uh, like beneficent, I guess.

• 37:38Speaker 03

  Right.

• 37:40Speaker 02

  But then urban.

• 37:41Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 37:42Speaker 02

  What about rural? Where's rural? Where's he come in? Pope rural?

• 37:46Speaker 03

  But that, um, that, um, sitting on top of stuff, um.

• 37:49Speaker 02

  Pope suburban.

• 37:50Speaker 03

  Fad came back in the 1920s in America.

• 37:53Speaker 02

  Bloody hell.

• 37:54Speaker 03

  There was like a bloke that did it and he sat outside like, um. What's the department store called in New York?

• 38:03Speaker 04

  Selfridges?

• 38:05Speaker 03

  Macy's, you say like side of Macy's or something like that. And it was like a tourist attraction and it got people to go into the shop.

• 38:11Speaker 02

  Yeah, what's funny about that is I assume it was meant to be a protest at like commercialisation.

• 38:16Speaker 03

  No, no, no.

• 38:17Speaker 02

  No, it wasn't.

• 38:17Speaker 03

  No, and then, no, because then he, then he commercialised it, he went on tour. And then a couple of other people started doing it and, and I think it was, um. You know, depression, sort of, there wasn't much to do.

• 38:31Speaker 03

  And people started going to see pe- blokes on top of poles that would sit there for like two days or something.

• 38:37Speaker 02

  Incredible.

• 38:38Speaker 03

  I think someone died doing it and then they had to stop, then they put an end to it. Anyway, um, we've got.

• 38:43Speaker 02

  The golden age came to an end.

• 38:45Speaker 03

  We've got a, um, we've got a message here from Lawrence. Oh, it's another would you rather? Um, let's find out what Lawrence has got to say.

• 38:55Speaker 08

  All right, boys. Love the podcast. Fairness is day one. Very, very good. Uh, my name is Lawrence and I really liked something you did a couple of episodes ago where you did a would you rather? And there's one that again has played my, my friendships, uh, chats for quite some time because we can't get to a definitive answer. So the would you rather is every time you laugh, you piss yourself or every time you cough, you shit yourself. Now, the amount of poo and piss is like a shot size amount. So.

• 39:28Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 39:28Speaker 08

  You know, do with that information what you will, but that is how much is coming out every single time. And it's every individual, one of the, the things that you do. So every little, you've just shit yourself.

• 39:40Speaker 03

  Oh, that's just clearing your throat.

• 39:41Speaker 08

  Yeah, let me know what you think.

• 39:43Speaker 03

  That's a tough one. That is a tough one. I don't know. I don't know what I would, what I'd rather. I don't know what I'd do more, laugh or cough. I feel like I do both quite a lot. Uh, it would, that would really disrupt my life.

• 39:58Speaker 08

  Yeah.

• 39:58Speaker 03

  Either of those would be a real problem for me.

• 40:04Speaker 03

  Wow, that's a good one, Lawrence. Oh, I don't know. I genuinely don't know. I, I, I honestly.

• 40:12Speaker 03

  Uh, in my head, I'm like, you, if it's one or the other, you pick for me because they both sound equally awful.

• 40:18Speaker 02

  I don't wa- I don't wanna. Is pi- I probably would stop la- if I had that problem, I probably would, my life would be less of a laugh.

• 40:27Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 40:27Speaker 02

  So I would probably laugh less.

• 40:29Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 40:32Speaker 03

  God, that's a good one.

• 40:33Speaker 02

  That's, it's a really good one. I'd probably go laugh.

• 40:38Speaker 03

  I feel like.

• 40:38Speaker 02

  I just had to become a really serious person.

• 40:40Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 40:40Speaker 02

  I'd, I'd.

• 40:41Speaker 03

  I'd probably go laugh as well, cause pissing is, I feel like the, I feel like piss is easier to deal with than poo.

• 40:47Speaker 02

  Yeah, the shit is like, you can deal with.

• 40:49Speaker 03

  I didn't mind, when the boys were babies, I didn't mind doing the nappy if it was a piss.

• 40:54Speaker 02

  Mm hmm.

• 40:54Speaker 03

  But when it was a poo.

• 40:56Speaker 02

  Mm hmm.

• 40:56Speaker 03

  Um.

• 40:58Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 40:58Speaker 03

  Like Claire would be able to do it like one-handed.

• 41:01Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 41:02Speaker 03

  But I'd have to like, really. And I, I, I always got told off for using too many wipes as well.

• 41:11Speaker 03

  But I needed to, like, I would just.

• 41:13Speaker 02

  How many, how many would Claire use?

• 41:15Speaker 03

  She would fucking get one. She would get one wipe and then fold it and then, fold, like, in the end, it'd be like a tiny piece of wipe that she'd folded about fifty times just to clean up. And I'd be like, oh.

• 41:25Speaker 02

  I was once told.

• 41:26Speaker 03

  If I got a bit of shit on my thumb or something like that, I'd freak out. So it would just be one wipe and it would just go, I'd just get rid of it straight away.

• 41:32Speaker 02

  Yeah. I was once told that in the army, they teach you a technique for wiping your bum with a single sheet of paper.

• 41:42Speaker 03

  Hang on, isn't this Pil- is this Pilkington?

• 41:44Speaker 02

  I, I don't think it is. I think this is just my, my school. But you make it into a cone. And then you wrap, you put it on your finger and then you use that.

• 41:53Speaker 03

  No, hang on a minute. Don't you push your fingers through it or something? I feel like that's Pilkington. I feel like Pilkington talks about that at some point.

• 42:02Speaker 02

  Where you pushing your fingers through it, you might as well not have the paper there at all.

• 42:05Speaker 03

  Yeah, and I think that's what they were talking about.

• 42:07Speaker 02

  Yeah, Pilkington's just, he's got the wrong end of the stick.

• 42:09Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 42:11Speaker 02

  This is a really, really, um, devious one from Lawrence.

• 42:15Speaker 03

  Oh, this is horrible from Lawrence, yeah.

• 42:17Speaker 02

  It's really, really difficult. I mean, I don't, I can't imagine what these discussions really are, cause I, I think it probably has to be. You can stop laughing. Smile with your eyes. Do you know what I mean?

• 42:29Speaker 03

  Smiles.

• 42:29Speaker 02

  You can smile with your eyes.

• 42:31Speaker 03

  Hmm.

• 42:33Speaker 02

  The quiet, the quiet enjoyment, you're just gonna have to become a very wry person. You just had to be wry from then on and like.

• 42:40Speaker 03

  I feel like I could hold a coughing better than I could hold a laughing. I feel like if I've got to cough, I could, if I was at home, make it to a toilet.

• 42:58Speaker 03

  To then cough and do my cough on the toilet.

• 43:03Speaker 02

  Oh, yes, yes, okay, yeah.

• 43:04Speaker 03

  I don't know.

• 43:05Speaker 02

  That's um.

• 43:06Speaker 03

  I don't know what, I don't, I don't have an answer for that one. I'm stumped.

• 43:10Speaker 02

  Fine.

• 43:10Speaker 03

  I'm absolutely stumped.

• 43:12Speaker 02

  It's, it's, it's, um, I think it's the, the most, um. Yeah, it's the, it's the most devilish one we've, we've, um.

• 43:19Speaker 03

  That's the worst one we've had, yeah.

• 43:21Speaker 02

  Yeah, really, really hard.

• 43:22Speaker 03

  Both of them, evil.

• 43:23Speaker 02

  They're both horrible, um.

• 43:25Speaker 03

  It does seem like some sort of

• 43:29Speaker 03

  story from the Bible or something.

• 43:31Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah.

• 43:32Speaker 03

  Went out into the desert and he had to choose.

• 43:35Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah.

• 43:37Speaker 03

  Both were just as evil as the, as the other. Um. Sorry, Lawrence.

• 43:42Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's, um.

• 43:43Speaker 03

  We've let you down there, mate, but that's a really good one and I, and, and do you know what? I don't think we have let you down because it's that kind of discussion that makes the pub.

• 43:53Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 43:53Speaker 03

  When you're with your mates and you said that this is, uh, this has been a big heated debate.

• 43:58Speaker 02

  We're gonna have, yeah, yeah.

• 43:59Speaker 03

  And you want that.

• 44:01Speaker 02

  Yeah, we're gonna have, as the kind of council, we're just gonna have to put this, put this back to the public, I think.

• 44:06Speaker 03

  We're gonna have to just.

• 44:06Speaker 02

  We're gonna, we're gonna, we're gonna throw this back to the populace and you're just gonna have to have a, a, a referendum, I think. Like, you know, you know.

• 44:14Speaker 03

  Leave me out of it.

• 44:15Speaker 02

  Yeah, I'll give it to my charity.

• 44:16Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 44:17Speaker 02

  You know. You know, if there was a difference, mine was improvised, but you know, I don't think you should get more money for that.

• 44:23Speaker 03

  Money's for both, laugh or cough. Um, right, let's, let's talk about this week's facts.

• 44:29Speaker 02

  Okay, right.

• 44:30Speaker 03

  Um, so this week it is David Attenborough's 100th birthday.

• 44:35Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 44:36Speaker 03

  Guys a hundred. Um, he's a legend. We love him. So we are going to do some facts about Attenborough.

• 44:42Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 44:43Speaker 03

  Um, I've got some stuff about him now. The thing, we all know Attenborough as an incredible broadcaster. Uh, and he's, it is nature stuff, right?

• 44:53Speaker 02

  Yep.

• 44:53Speaker 03

  That's what I certainly know him from. Um, but I think the, the really fascinating thing about Attenborough that I love is that he was, um, he was once in charge of BBC Two.

• 45:06Speaker 02

  Yep.

• 45:06Speaker 03

  From 1965 to 1969.

• 45:09Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 45:09Speaker 03

  Um, he, and he done some really, really great stuff. He, um, he transformed BBC Two into the creative channel, which was,

• 45:21Speaker 03

  I suppose, I don't know if it still is anymore, but even up until, uh, very recently. So like, when The Office, for example, became such a big hit and they wanted to do another series of that, the BBC were saying, we want to move it to the BBC One, to the big boy channel. And they said, no, we're BBC Two. This is where we like to sit. This is where it's sort of a bit alternative and a bit.

• 45:45Speaker 02

  It was seen as a bit more intellectual, I think.

• 45:48Speaker 03

  Do you reckon?

• 45:48Speaker 02

  I think so. BBC Two.

• 45:50Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 45:50Speaker 02

  I think it was seen as a bit more intellectual.

• 45:52Speaker 03

  A bit less mainstream.

• 45:53Speaker 02

  A bit less mainstream.

• 45:54Speaker 03

  But Attenborough deliberately positioned BBC Two as more experimental and highbrow than BBC One. Under his leadership, it became known for bold, intellectual and niche programming. Everything from opera and philosophy to cutting edge documentaries. Uh, he introduced colour TV to Britain. One of his biggest legacies overseeing the launch of colour television in the UK in 1967. The first official colour broadcast on BBC Two was, Joe?

• 46:22Speaker 02

  Pop Black.

• 46:23Speaker 03

  It was Wimbledon.

• 46:24Speaker 02

  That's what I'm saying. They're hitting that black ball around.

• 46:27Speaker 03

  Exactly.

• 46:28Speaker 02

  Over the net.

• 46:29Speaker 03

  Um, this move helped, uh, push the entire country towards colour TV adoption. Uh, and BBC Two became the testing ground before BBC One followed.

• 46:38Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 46:39Speaker 03

  He'd already been doing wildlife stuff before this. Um, and he nearly didn't return to it at all during this period. Attenborough wasn't focused on nature programmes, he was more of an executive than a presenter. And it looked like his career might stay in management rather than the wildlife storytelling he's now famous for.

• 46:58Speaker 02

  Commissioned some amazing stuff as well.

• 46:59Speaker 03

  He did, I'm getting to that now. He green, greenlit Monty Python.

• 47:03Speaker 02

  Unbelievable.

• 47:04Speaker 03

  Attenborough played a key role in approving Monty Python's Flying Circus. The show was considered strange and risky. Many executives didn't understand it, but Attenborough backed it anyway, helping launch one of the most influential comedy shows ever. Um, he was the youngest controller in BBC history. Um, Attenborough was just thirty nine, oh no, I'm thirty nine this year. Oh, I've got to do some shit, no, I've got to do some stuff. The worst thing is when you're watching that fucking Get Back documentary. Uh, of the Beatles and like. And Paul McCartney's twenty six or something and you're like, oh, for fuck's sake, I've done nothing.

• 47:43Speaker 02

  Yeah, I know, it's horrible.

• 47:45Speaker 03

  Um, he pushed for ambitious, risky ideas. He loved experimental format, formats and unusual subjects and longer, more in-depth programmes. That risk-taking DNA still influences BBC Two today. Uh, and he turned down becoming director general after his, his success. He was offered the chance to ra- rise even higher in the BBC hierarchy, but he turned it down. Why? Because he missed making programmes himself, which ultimately led him back to creating the legendary nature, nature series that we know today. He's a legend and hopefully he's good, he's all right.

• 48:23Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, well, a hundred more years, I say.

• 48:27Speaker 03

  I say, yeah.

• 48:27Speaker 02

  Let's do what's necessary to. You know, get him into a computer or whatever.

• 48:32Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 48:33Speaker 02

  Just keep, keep him alive.

• 48:35Speaker 03

  Just do it.

• 48:36Speaker 02

  Keep him alive, whatever we need.

• 48:38Speaker 03

  Must stay alive.

• 48:39Speaker 02

  Exoskeleton.

• 48:40Speaker 03

  Yeah, just a head in the jar.

• 48:42Speaker 02

  Head in the jar, or in the tummy, they could be in the tummy, like in turtles.

• 48:45Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 48:45Speaker 02

  That's Attenborough's head.

• 48:46Speaker 03

  That was weird, wasn't it?

• 48:47Speaker 02

  What the hell was that about?

• 48:48Speaker 03

  It was like a little sort of octopus.

• 48:50Speaker 02

  Crang, is that crang?

• 48:51Speaker 03

  Yeah, I think so, yeah.

• 48:53Speaker 02

  That's what I want, anyway. The future for Attenborough, he's given to nature, now nature gives back to him. Denying bodies, bits of other creatures.

• 49:02Speaker 03

  I'd give him a bit.

• 49:02Speaker 02

  And back he comes to life.

• 49:03Speaker 03

  I'd give him a bit, a part, one of my body parts, I'd.

• 49:08Speaker 02

  I don't know, I mean, I don't think, if I'd, yeah, whatever he wants.

• 49:11Speaker 03

  He can do, yeah.

• 49:13Speaker 02

  You know, up to it, including one lung.

• 49:17Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah.

• 49:17Speaker 02

  Someone I can buy in, someone I can, and have a guitar, well, not the guitar. Someone I can, someone I can reorder. But he can have what he wants and, you know, he can, yeah.

• 49:28Speaker 03

  Um, so, yeah.

• 49:29Speaker 02

  A4 paper.

• 49:30Speaker 03

  There we go, that was my little fact for it.

• 49:31Speaker 02

  Really nice, thank you, James.

• 49:33Speaker 03

  It was just a sort of, he was just talking about his, his.

• 49:36Speaker 02

  But it was great, yeah, a great guy, uh, and a very important figure in, I think, for lots of people, for all sorts of different reasons, so, yeah.

• 49:47Speaker 03

  Good stuff. Right, shall we do, um, shall we do fact check?

• 49:49Speaker 02

  It's time for fact check.

• 49:51Speaker 03

  Um, we'll be reading a fact or a question that you'd like us to get to the bottom of. Then we're gonna have a good old think during the break and we'll come back and let you know how true it feels to us to decide if it passes our fact check.

• 50:04Speaker 02

  Okay, so this week's fact check comes from Tobias, so we've now, it doesn't, just because it's not Joe or James, it doesn't have to be like, you know, what I would describe as a highfalutin name.

• 50:14Speaker 03

  Yeah, we've gone Lawrence and Tobias now.

• 50:17Speaker 02

  Yeah, so we've now, they don't have to be members of the Gentry. It's just regular, I just want regular guys.

• 50:25Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 50:26Speaker 02

  I mean, Lawrence wasn't a member of the Gentry, was he? He was talking about piss and shit.

• 50:29Speaker 03

  Yeah, he was, yeah.

• 50:30Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 50:31Speaker 03

  Um, anyway, what's, what's Tobias got to say for it?

• 50:33Speaker 02

  Um.

• 50:35Speaker 02

  Hello, Joe and James. Massive fan of the pod. Here's one for you. As someone with an intense fear of sharks, I was often soothed by supposed responsible adults as a youth by being told that more people were killed by coconuts falling on your head than sharks. Sharks falling on your head or just sharks? Fact or totally bollocks? Also interested to hear what your biggest fears, irrational or otherwise are. Big love, Tobias. Well, interesting. Thank you, Tobias. And we're going to get on the case and we'll be back with a fact stat.

• 51:11Speaker 09

  Hey, it's Adam Grant from TED's Rethinking Podcast. As businesses scale, success depends on how well knowledge is captured, shared, and kept up to date. Camtasia Pro turns teams' expertise into engaging training, onboarding, and documentation. No professional editing experience required. With the industry's best screen recording, video editing, and AI-powered workflows, you can train faster and boost operational efficiency. Get over $100 off your first year at camtasiapro.com and start building a smarter way to educate customers, onboard employees, and ensure valuable expertise is shared across teams.

• 51:45Speaker 10

  Hello, I'm Luke Jones. And I'm Poppy Damon. We love all the strange true crime stories that you might flick through on a newspaper and think, hang on a minute. And this is Strangely, a podcast where every week we bring you the weirdest, wildest stories ripped straight from the headlines or our notebooks from both sides of the Atlantic. From the stories that you almost certainly missed in the headlines. To the ones you did see and thought, that's odd, but never got to revisit again. If you like strange news. Unexpected twists. And stories that linger on way longer than they should. Listen and subscribe now. Search for Strangely wherever you get your podcasts.

• 52:30Speaker 03

  Welcome back, welcome back to Joe and James Fact Check. We were just fact checking on the behalf of Tobias, fact checking, talking about it, who asked, are more people killed by coconuts than sharks now?

• 52:42Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 52:42Speaker 03

  I think, I think that's true. I think it's the law of averages thing. But I will tell you, those things, those little sayings, because it's like, oh, you're more likely to be killed by a donkey than a shark or something like that, right?

• 53:00Speaker 02

  Hippos are often a...

• 53:02Speaker 03

  They're the deadliest animal on the planet, I think. I think there's more deaths, more human deaths by the hands of the evil hippo than any other animal on the planet. But, um, those things don't make me feel better because it used to be like, oh, you're more likely to get run over than you are to die in a plane crash. But I always used to think, yeah, but if I got on a plane as many times as I did across the road,

• 53:29Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 53:29Speaker 03

  then surely I would, it'd be more likely I'd die in a plane crash.

• 53:33Speaker 02

  Yeah. Yeah.

• 53:35Speaker 03

  It's only because I cross the road dozens of times a day.

• 53:38Speaker 02

  And it's maybe also you're like, oh, now I'm worried about that as well.

• 53:40Speaker 03

  Yeah. So, those things never made me feel better. But can I just say-

• 53:46Speaker 02

  Also, I feel like being killed by a shark would be far more unpleasant than being killed by a coconut.

• 53:51Speaker 03

  Yeah, I mean, I would say, I don't think that's irrational either. Because I'm terrified of sharks. I don't really like going in the sea, ever. Because I always feel like there's a shark there. No matter where I am on the planet, it could be like

• 54:09Speaker 03

  the seaside in the UK.

• 54:11Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 54:11Speaker 03

  I'd be like, oh.

• 54:12Speaker 02

  Yeah, Bournemouth.

• 54:13Speaker 03

  Might be a shark here somewhere.

• 54:16Speaker 03

  And it's always big news, isn't it?

• 54:17Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 54:18Speaker 03

  If a shark is spotted off the coast of Britain, it's like, whoa!

• 54:21Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 54:22Speaker 03

  Watch out!

• 54:23Speaker 02

  Yeah. The armada.

• 54:25Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 54:25Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 54:26Speaker 03

  They're coming. But I don't think that being afraid of a shark is irrational at all whatsoever. It's like being afraid of a lion.

• 54:35Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, Tobias is saying it's an irrational fear, but-

• 54:38Speaker 03

  I got teased- I went, I went on holiday with my mum and dad years ago when I was a kid, I think I was about fourteen, fifteen. And we went on one of those boat excursions where you spend a day on a boat. And then you stop at certain places to jump in the sea, have a bit of lunch or whatever, you stop on a beach and you have a drink. And um, we were on this boat. And in the distance were a load of little shark fins coming out of the water, like jaws style. And I was like, right. And uh, and they, so they, they sort of parked the boat. And the sho- the sharks were out to sea and people were jumping in the water sort of nearer the.

• 55:17Speaker 02

  Hmm.

• 55:18Speaker 03

  Nearer the coast, nearer the cove.

• 55:19Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 55:20Speaker 03

  The rocky, there was like a rocky bit.

• 55:23Speaker 03

  And um, the blokes that were running the ship were like, oh, you're not, you're not jumping in, you're not jumping in. And I went, oh, it's just because there's all those sharks over there.

• 55:32Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 55:32Speaker 03

  They were going, oh, oh, he's scared, oh, he's scared of sharks.

• 55:35Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 55:36Speaker 03

  Right. And I was like, yeah. They went to me, don't worry, we're telling people to jump over this side of the boat. And I was going, I don't think.

• 55:42Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 55:42Speaker 03

  The sharks get the idea, they get the concept.

• 55:45Speaker 02

  No.

• 55:45Speaker 03

  That they can't.

• 55:46Speaker 02

  Come round the other side of the boat.

• 55:47Speaker 03

  The other side of the boat.

• 55:48Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 55:49Speaker 03

  Um, but also the boat was, wasn't anchored or anything, they didn't like lower an anchor. And it just eventually slowed after like for about forty five minutes, just turned. And all these people that are the side of the boat were just with the side with the sharks.

• 56:04Speaker 02

  Yeah, jumping into the sharks mouths.

• 56:06Speaker 03

  But they were going, yeah, they were going, oh, oh, like, probably like to the piss out of me, like to. Cause there was loads of other like families and stuff and they were going, oh, he's scared, he's scared of the sharks, everyone. And I was going, yeah. I was like, what, what's wrong with that?

• 56:21Speaker 02

  Of course.

• 56:22Speaker 03

  What's wrong with, yeah, I am scared of sharks. What does that? Oh, what, I'm just supposed to let them eat me to show how tough I am.

• 56:30Speaker 02

  Yeah, I know, I know, I, I, I'm no, I was never sure what, um.

• 56:33Speaker 03

  If I'd had my leg bitten off and I come on the ship, but they go, don't you dare cry, don't start crying now.

• 56:40Speaker 02

  Yeah, this can go one of two ways.

• 56:43Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 56:44Speaker 02

  Either you come out of this well.

• 56:45Speaker 03

  Yeah, we can all still have a really nice rest of the day. Or what, or, or what, do you need us to stop?

• 56:51Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 56:51Speaker 03

  And we've got to take you to hospital or whatever.

• 56:53Speaker 02

  You haven't been bitten by a shark. This is actually an opportunity. To show um your character.

• 57:01Speaker 03

  Yeah, but I do think, I do think, I do think more people are killed by coconuts and sharks, yeah. I think it's probably, how many people are killed by sharks a year? I reckon. I reckon.

• 57:13Speaker 02

  War or something?

• 57:14Speaker 03

  I, I reckon a dozen at the most. Um, recorded shark fatalities. I think it's about thirty or something like that for the hippo. They are bastards, aren't they? I saw a um.

• 57:26Speaker 02

  I, I just still think hippopotamus is such a friendly word.

• 57:30Speaker 03

  And they look friendly as well. They look friendly. They look like they're made out of rubber or something.

• 57:33Speaker 02

  They do, yeah.

• 57:34Speaker 03

  They look like big toys.

• 57:36Speaker 02

  It's exactly the same thing as um.

• 57:40Speaker 02

  The Marshmallow Man in um.

• 57:42Speaker 03

  In Ghostbusters, yeah, Mr Stay Puff, yeah.

• 57:45Speaker 02

  Mr Stay Puff, yeah.

• 57:46Speaker 03

  But they um, I saw a um, an illustration of a hippo without its skin.

• 57:54Speaker 02

  Right.

• 57:54Speaker 03

  And it was, the idea was that it was a post on Instagram, it was like, it was just to sort of let you know. They're not just sort of like fat lazy things, right? Because that's what they look like, don't they?

• 58:05Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 58:05Speaker 03

  They look like they're like big fat things.

• 58:07Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 58:07Speaker 03

  But, but they're not fat.

• 58:09Speaker 02

  Right.

• 58:10Speaker 03

  All of that is muscle.

• 58:11Speaker 02

  Yeah, okay.

• 58:12Speaker 03

  All of that is pure muscle. You don't get fat animals in the world, do you?

• 58:16Speaker 02

  No, that's true.

• 58:18Speaker 03

  You don't just get like fat animals that are just.

• 58:20Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah.

• 58:22Speaker 03

  That are greedy bastards. Um, and it was, it was literally like, just a warning, they're not just like fat lazy animals. They're great big powerful.

• 58:31Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 58:32Speaker 03

  Pure muscle.

• 58:34Speaker 02

  They look like something, they look like something out of Soft Play, don't they? You'd think.

• 58:38Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 58:38Speaker 02

  So there's something that your, your toddler can bounce off.

• 58:41Speaker 03

  Yeah, they look like the sort of stuff that those really bouncy balls are made out of.

• 58:46Speaker 02

  Yeah, that's right.

• 58:48Speaker 03

  In fact, I think that's what they're made out of.

• 58:50Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 58:50Speaker 03

  They just chop up hippos.

• 58:53Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah.

• 58:54Speaker 03

  Um, but I do think, I think, how many people are killed by coconuts a year? I reckon there's about.

• 59:03Speaker 03

  I reckon, I reckon there's a shocking, shockingly high amount of people. It happened to Keith Richards, didn't it? He got hit by a coconut. He's still alive. He's still alive, yeah, because nothing can kill him. But I think it, he was in a bad way for a while. After he got hit by a coconut there. What are we saying, Joe? I'm saying fact. More people, more people were killed by coconuts than sharks. Fact.

• 59:29Speaker 02

  I think it's fact because the coconut,

• 59:36Speaker 02

  like, it's just a much more likely scenario that you're walking, you're walking under a tree.

• 59:41Speaker 03

  Law of averages.

• 59:42Speaker 02

  Than that you're, yeah, it is law of averages. But let's just say.

• 59:45Speaker 03

  I think people around coconuts a lot more. In fact, I think more people are probably killed in a supermarket by a coconut.

• 59:53Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 59:53Speaker 03

  Than a shark.

• 59:55Speaker 02

  But I also.

• 59:55Speaker 03

  Just someone getting angry and lobbing a coconut would be more likely than you getting killed, killed by a shark. So think about that next time you go to Asda or something.

• 1:00:03Speaker 02

  I have to say, I also feel.

• 1:00:04Speaker 03

  Come out again.

• 1:00:05Speaker 02

  I also feel sad for people who have been killed by coconuts because the only thing that they're remembered for is being part of this rhetorical device to make people not worry about being killed by sharks.

• 1:00:15Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:00:16Speaker 02

  So every time the funeral of someone has been killed by a coconut, they'll be like, look, but on the other hand, you are gonna help to assuage a young man's fears about being killed by a shark.

• 1:00:24Speaker 03

  Exactly.

• 1:00:24Speaker 02

  So I kind of think that the coconut, if you don't, if you, if you get killed by a coconut.

• 1:00:31Speaker 03

  Wasn't there a bloke that died from mooning someone out a window?

• 1:00:35Speaker 02

  When he fell out?

• 1:00:35Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:00:37Speaker 02

  Oh, no.

• 1:00:37Speaker 03

  I think, I think they talk about that.

• 1:00:39Speaker 02

  Who died? The moonie or the mooner?

• 1:00:41Speaker 03

  The mooner.

• 1:00:41Speaker 02

  The mooner.

• 1:00:42Speaker 03

  I think Gervais talks about that as well.

• 1:00:43Speaker 02

  God.

• 1:00:44Speaker 03

  Um, I'm gonna go, I'm going, I'm going fact, Joe.

• 1:00:47Speaker 02

  Yeah, but here, okay, so we're saying fact, but also he has asked what our biggest fears of rational or otherwise are.

• 1:00:51Speaker 03

  Oh, mine are quite rational, I think.

• 1:00:54Speaker 02

  Yeah, sharks.

• 1:00:55Speaker 03

  I don't, I'm, yeah, terrified of sharks, but I would love to get in a cage.

• 1:01:00Speaker 02

  With with shark outside.

• 1:01:02Speaker 03

  With the shark outside, yeah. I wouldn't, I have a, yeah.

• 1:01:05Speaker 04

  Just a cage in general.

• 1:01:06Speaker 03

  No, I'd like to get in, I'd love to get in a cage and see a shark. I think it'd be an incredible experience. It would terrify me. I feel like I could be safe in the cage though, they're not gonna. But have you seen them?

• 1:01:19Speaker 04

  I've seen too many shark horror films.

• 1:01:20Speaker 03

  Some of those cages have got great big holes in them. And you're like, mate, we should really, um, find out, actually.

• 1:01:27Speaker 02

  Hey, I, did you want to do my fears?

• 1:01:29Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah, yeah. Well, how long we got?

• 1:01:31Speaker 02

  Well, okay, snakes, I suppose. I don't like snakes.

• 1:01:33Speaker 03

  You don't like snakes?

• 1:01:34Speaker 02

  I don't like snakes.

• 1:01:34Speaker 03

  I don't mind a snake.

• 1:01:35Speaker 02

  Um.

• 1:01:36Speaker 03

  The only fear I've got about a snake, and it's something that I think about maybe twice a week, uh, is if I call, say, you've got a rattletback, uh, what are they called? Rattlesnake or a diamondback rattlesnake or something like that, incredibly poisonous.

• 1:01:51Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:01:52Speaker 03

  And you've got him by just behind his head.

• 1:01:56Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:01:56Speaker 03

  I'd say neck, but.

• 1:01:58Speaker 02

  It's all neck, isn't it?

• 1:01:59Speaker 03

  It's all neck, isn't it? Um, so he can't bite you.

• 1:02:04Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:02:05Speaker 03

  And right now, you've got him like this.

• 1:02:07Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:02:08Speaker 03

  Nothing, he, he's no threat to you now.

• 1:02:10Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:02:12Speaker 03

  But now what do you do? Do you just hold him for the rest of your life?

• 1:02:18Speaker 04

  Cage.

• 1:02:19Speaker 03

  How? If you put down or if you like, there's a, there's a risk. If you move or make a sudden movement or he managed to wriggle a bit, what do you do once you've got him by the head?

• 1:02:34Speaker 02

  If he's life or death.

• 1:02:35Speaker 03

  You haven't got a tranquilizer. Yeah. How many times have you got tranquilizers on you while you're out and about?

• 1:02:40Speaker 04

  More than you think.

• 1:02:41Speaker 03

  More than I think.

• 1:02:43Speaker 02

  Mongoose, that's the other option.

• 1:02:45Speaker 03

  They love them, don't they? Yeah, they, they have a good old fight with them.

• 1:02:47Speaker 02

  They are not.

• 1:02:48Speaker 03

  You'd have to just lob it, wouldn't you? You'd have to just really give it a really big throw.

• 1:02:55Speaker 04

  Hmm.

• 1:02:55Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:02:56Speaker 03

  And then go in the other direction.

• 1:02:58Speaker 02

  Uh, and then it'd go.

• 1:03:02Speaker 03

  Well, he explodes. Um, but snakes.

• 1:03:06Speaker 02

  You're running and it's going behind you.

• 1:03:09Speaker 03

  Snakes. Was there any reason?

• 1:03:12Speaker 02

  Still slivery and I don't just, I um.

• 1:03:14Speaker 03

  Is it religious?

• 1:03:16Speaker 02

  No, it's not, but I mean, it's weird that the snake is chosen at that point because it's like, obviously there's something about and we don't like.

• 1:03:23Speaker 03

  Yeah, don't babies have a sort of inherent fear of snakes or something? I think they, I vaguely remember some sort of experiment where babies, is it that they don't touch grass or something like that? Babies won't. If you hold a baby over grass and you go to put it down, they'll lift their legs up and they won't.

• 1:03:43Speaker 02

  Oh.

• 1:03:44Speaker 03

  There's some sort of thing about babies and snakes. I can't remember what it is. And that, and that's why this podcast is so good.

• 1:03:53Speaker 02

  Yeah, well, uh.

• 1:03:57Speaker 04

  Shall I fact check?

• 1:03:58Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:03:58Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:03:59Speaker 03

  We want, I want, um, how many shark deaths there are a year and how many coconut deaths?

• 1:04:06Speaker 04

  Okay, so.

• 1:04:06Speaker 03

  Let's clear this up.

• 1:04:08Speaker 04

  Shark attacks cause roughly five to 10 deaths. So you said 12, not far off.

• 1:04:12Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:04:13Speaker 04

  And then it says it's often quoted that falling coconuts kill around 150 people.

• 1:04:19Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:04:19Speaker 04

  But then it also says it's likely to have been exaggerated because of the urban legend that they kill more than sharks. But I think.

• 1:04:26Speaker 03

  Pope Urban?

• 1:04:27Speaker 04

  Pope, Pope Urban, yes.

• 1:04:29Speaker 03

  Again, Pope Urban spreading propaganda.

• 1:04:32Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's, um.

• 1:04:36Speaker 02

  He's never liked coconuts.

• 1:04:37Speaker 03

  He's always had a problem with coconuts.

• 1:04:39Speaker 02

  He's, um.

• 1:04:40Speaker 03

  We need to take back Jerusalem. Uh, and also kill as many coconuts along the way as you can.

• 1:04:47Speaker 02

  Well, obviously, you know, the Garden of Eden, that was all, it was a coconut, it was a coconut tree and then he blames, he blames that apparently.

• 1:04:55Speaker 03

  Was it?

• 1:04:56Speaker 02

  No, I'm checking. No, I don't know. I mean, I, well, I mean.

• 1:05:00Speaker 03

  Well, there we go. But it is true.

• 1:05:01Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:05:02Speaker 03

  It is true. Even if they're exaggerated, I think it's safe to say more people are killed by coconuts than sharks. Um, hey, listen, if you've got a fact that you'd like us to check, head to our episode's description for all the ways to get in touch. Joe.

• 1:05:15Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 1:05:16Speaker 03

  It's your, it's your turn for Attenborough fact.

• 1:05:18Speaker 02

  Yeah. Okay. So you, I mean, it's a similar, I think we're both kind of interested in maybe because of our work. The, for his period at BBC Two.

• 1:05:28Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:05:28Speaker 02

  Now, what Attenborough did was he, as you say, he came and he took over. And he, one of the things he did was he got rid of BBC Two's mascot. And it was a kangaroo. So I looked into this. In fact, it was two kangaroos. They're called hullabaloo and custard. And Attenborough, you know, for all his, um, credentials of liking animals, he scrapped the kangaroos.

• 1:05:53Speaker 03

  Called them.

• 1:05:53Speaker 02

  He said they're a bit silly.

• 1:05:54Speaker 03

  Right.

• 1:05:55Speaker 02

  And I think if you are trying to be an intellectual channel, you can't say, well, the face of our channel is two kangaroos called hullabaloo and custard.

• 1:06:01Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:06:02Speaker 02

  That is very BBC One.

• 1:06:03Speaker 03

  He ma, he had a point. Yeah.

• 1:06:04Speaker 02

  Yeah, that's very BBC One. Um.

• 1:06:06Speaker 03

  But I can see where BBC, where the BBC were coming from. Cause they were like.

• 1:06:10Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:06:10Speaker 03

  Cause you think, oh, the BBC, BBC Two kangaroo, that's going to take off. That's going to be a thing.

• 1:06:16Speaker 02

  Yeah, you can, but no, but.

• 1:06:18Speaker 03

  We'll sell kangaroos.

• 1:06:19Speaker 02

  Oh, I see. Yeah. No, but Attenborough said, no, it's silly. I think he thought it was silly.

• 1:06:24Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:06:25Speaker 02

  Probably right.

• 1:06:25Speaker 03

  He doesn't like people taking the piss out of animals either, does he?

• 1:06:30Speaker 03

  He probably thought this isn't very respectful to the animal kingdom.

• 1:06:34Speaker 02

  Yeah, I think he probably, um, I believe one was a small kangaroo coming out of the, uh.

• 1:06:39Speaker 03

  It was a joey.

• 1:06:40Speaker 02

  The mother's, uh, pouch.

• 1:06:42Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:06:43Speaker 02

  It was a joey.

• 1:06:43Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:06:44Speaker 02

  A joey. I don't know which way around it was. I mean, I'm, somebody knows, but you know.

• 1:06:48Speaker 03

  Custard.

• 1:06:49Speaker 02

  It's not my job to know. Do you know what I mean?

• 1:06:51Speaker 03

  No.

• 1:06:51Speaker 02

  Um, so, and so what happened is that, um, and then BBC Two on its launch night. It was a, this sort of famous debacle. Um, where they were going to launch BBC Two and everything went wrong. There was a massive power cut. And they had a live kangaroo ready to be on air in the studio. It got stuck in a lift. It went, quote, berserk.

• 1:07:17Speaker 03

  Right.

• 1:07:18Speaker 02

  And then they had to just cut to another studio where there was a bloke just reading the news. And he read the news and the sound wasn't turned on. Um, and then he had to read it again.

• 1:07:34Speaker 03

  Disaster.

• 1:07:35Speaker 02

  And then you could see him just going to people in the studio. And they were like.

• 1:07:41Speaker 02

  And then he basically just had to end the programme.

• 1:07:43Speaker 03

  Right.

• 1:07:43Speaker 02

  And that was, so that was, so, so this kangaroo was cursed from beginning to end.

• 1:07:46Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:07:47Speaker 02

  But nonetheless, I think, nonetheless, I think it was, it was still the, um, the mascot when Attenborough was brought in, but he said enough.

• 1:07:56Speaker 03

  Let's get rid of the kangaroo stuff now.

• 1:07:58Speaker 02

  Come on. It's a gimmick.

• 1:08:01Speaker 03

  Yeah, and that's not what he wanted.

• 1:08:03Speaker 02

  He didn't want that. He wanted, he said, animals aren't mascots.

• 1:08:10Speaker 02

  They're stars.

• 1:08:10Speaker 03

  Animals are people too.

• 1:08:11Speaker 02

  Animals are people too. So that's what, that's what I, that's, that's me.

• 1:08:15Speaker 03

  It's good.

• 1:08:16Speaker 02

  Like that?

• 1:08:17Speaker 03

  I'd ne, I didn't know that.

• 1:08:18Speaker 02

  Yeah, a good example of a kind of good old BBC shambles.

• 1:08:21Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:08:21Speaker 02

  Art, well, Artie's bloomers, isn't it?

• 1:08:24Speaker 03

  Artie's bloomers, yeah.

• 1:08:25Speaker 02

  Artie's bl, and bloopers.

• 1:08:27Speaker 03

  And bloopers. Um, well, I'm all fact out.

• 1:08:30Speaker 02

  Oh, me too, me too.

• 1:08:31Speaker 03

  What have we learned today? We learnt that, um, kangaroos went berserk at the BBC. We learnt that, um, Attenborough is a legend, even though we sort of already knew that. And that you are more likely to get killed by a coconut than a shark. Um, we'll be back next week, armed with more facts, chats and coconut attacks. And don't forget that you can get in touch with us if you'd like us to fact check something that feels true to, uh, to you. Or with whatever nonsense you'd like to tell us by emailing us at hello at joeandjamespod.com. Or you can WhatsApp us, oh seven eight two two zero three four three three zero. And you can follow us on social media at joeandjamespod. Head to the podcast description if you've already forgotten those details. See you next week, guys. Thanks for listening.

• 1:09:14Speaker 02

  Keep it real, guys.

• 1:09:15Speaker 03

  Yeah, keep it real. Bye.

• 1:09:17Speaker 02

  Bye.

• 1:09:31Speaker 11

  Hello, I'm Joanna Fletcher.

• 1:09:33Speaker 12

  And I'm Marco Burchella.

• 1:09:34Speaker 11

  And this is Boots Off.

• 1:09:37Speaker 12

  We are friends who've spent a decade together, walking up mountains, across deserts and along coastlines with some seriously awesome groups of humans.

• 1:09:46Speaker 11

  And something happens when you're out there, feet on the ground, surrounded by nature. The conversations just spill out of you.

• 1:09:52Speaker 12

  This series is about the adversities that lead to adventure.

• 1:09:55Speaker 11

  The adventures that lead to adversity.

• 1:09:57Speaker 12

  And how life can be one big adventure in itself.

• 1:10:00Speaker 11

  Listen every Thursday. Just search for Boots Off.