Help I Farted On A Stranger | And Where Does The Ring Go?

Jordan North is back from his luxury holiday to Skegness, sporting a gorgeous tan and a water skiing story that ends with him discovering he is, in fact, NOT a natural. Meanwhile, William Hanson has all the gossip from his latest solo show, The Mannersphere. A title worthy of a handshake. Plus, the Dilemma Duo get stuck into more of your burning questions and stories, including one G&Diva who’s had a fart-related mishap so spectacularly embarrassing, even the boys are cringing. William is also on hand to dish out some very important etiquette lessons on wearing a poppy for Remembrance Day. -- Want more Sexted in your life? Join Help I Sexted My Boss Out Of Office for exclusive episodes every WEDNESDAY on Patreon! Just head to sextedmyboss.com/patreon -- Want MORE Help I Sexted My Boss?: https://sextedmyboss.komi.io/ -- FOLLOW Jordan North Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jordannorth1 William Hanson Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/williamhansonetiquette TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@williamhansonetiquette If you want to get involved you can email us mailto: [email protected]. You can follow us and DM on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/sextedmyboss/ and TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@sextedmyboss, and watch the latest episode every Tuesday and Friday on YouTube https://www.youtube.com/c/SextedMyBoss. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy https://acast.com/privacy for more information.

• 0:00Speaker 00

  Scaling your business doesn't have to mean endless meetings or repetitive training. With Camtasia Pro, teams can easily transform their expertise into engaging video content. No professional editing experience required. By combining screen recording, editing and AI-powered workflows into one simple solution, Camtasia Pro helps you train faster, onboard smarter and easily document critical processes. Get over $100 off your first year at camtasia pro.com and start building a smarter way to educate customers, onboard employees and ensure valuable expertise is shared across teams.

• 0:36Speaker 01

  Hi everyone, it's Katie Couric and on my podcast, Next Question, we love stories about how women are taking control of their lives. They are increasingly leading financial decisions in their households. Yet, many say they don't feel fully prepared for the long-term financial choices ahead. Real confidence comes from knowing your financial future is protected, whatever happens. Pacific Life has helped generations protect what matters today and prepare for tomorrow with life insurance and lifetime income solutions. It's a promise Pacific Life has kept for nearly 160 years, so its customers can keep theirs.

• 1:18Speaker 01

  Ask a financial professional about how Pacific Life can help you create a more confident financial future. Pacific Life Insurance Company, Omaha, Nebraska, and in New York, Pacific Life and Annuity, Phoenix, Arizona.

• 1:36Speaker 02

  We've got any gla- oh, glasses, Benjamin.

• 1:39Speaker 03

  Glasses are here. It's Benedict.

• 1:42Speaker 02

  Oh yeah, it is. Sorry. That was really harsh. Look at him, look at himself in his own camera. I said to him before, when you look nice, you're on camera now.

• 1:51Speaker 02

  Tell everyone what you're wearing today then.

• 1:53Speaker 03

  Yes, let us, so we can shop the look.

• 1:55Speaker 02

  Yeah, how do we shop that look?

• 1:57Speaker 04

  Hi guys.

• 1:58Speaker 02

  Hi.

• 1:58Speaker 03

  Hello.

• 1:58Speaker 04

  Wearing a lovely.

• 2:00Speaker 03

  No, we'll be the judge.

• 2:01Speaker 04

  I'm wearing a knitted, a cream knitted jumper.

• 2:04Speaker 03

  A cream knitted jumper.

• 2:06Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:07Speaker 04

  Some Adidas.

• 2:09Speaker 02

  Adidas.

• 2:09Speaker 03

  Adidas, please.

• 2:10Speaker 02

  No, I said Adidas.

• 2:11Speaker 03

  Adidas.

• 2:13Speaker 02

  It's waiting tomorrow. Ready?

• 2:20Speaker 02

  Hello and welcome to Help I Sexted My Boss, the podcast where we help you navigate the challenges of modern life. Aiming to answer your 21st century questions and finding solutions to everyday dilemmas like, do everybody's testicles float in the bath? Or, how do you tell your boyfriend that the new sexy perfume that's turning him on is the same as his mum's? And of course, what should you do if you've accidentally sexted your boss? But, we're not usually liking the answer, are we? William Hampson.

• 2:49Speaker 03

  No, we're not, Jordan North. I'm more yay girl, slay. You're more mayday, mayday. That's from Jess. I hope I did that okay.

• 2:58Speaker 02

  I mean, yay girl, slay girl.

• 3:00Speaker 03

  Girl.

• 3:01Speaker 02

  Girl with you. It's girl with you.

• 3:03Speaker 03

  Girl with you.

• 3:03Speaker 02

  We've got a fresh bottle of Dubonnet because the one last time was off.

• 3:07Speaker 03

  Yes, thank God. Stu has brought the D down from Manchester for us.

• 3:11Speaker 02

  Oh, is it? Oh God, it'll be riddled.

• 3:12Speaker 03

  The D train.

• 3:15Speaker 03

  What?

• 3:15Speaker 02

  I said it'll be riddled.

• 3:16Speaker 03

  It will be. Yes. And what's this bottle of gin? It's got our faces on.

• 3:21Speaker 02

  Oh, so this is from, it says Help I Sexted My Batch. Very good. And it's from Batch Brew, who are based in Burnley. Okay. So, they do loads of stuff like that. And I do know the lovely owners and I've met them a few times. And they've made us a Help I Sexted My Batch Scotch. So.

• 3:40Speaker 03

  Scotch?

• 3:41Speaker 02

  Sorry, Batch Gin. So it's Batch Brew. They're based in Burnley. So I'll check them out.

• 3:48Speaker 03

  Lovely.

• 3:48Speaker 02

  Distilled and bottled in Burnley, Lancashire.

• 3:50Speaker 03

  Just like you.

• 3:51Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 3:53Speaker 03

  Do you want to put some in?

• 3:54Speaker 02

  I beg your pardon?

• 3:55Speaker 03

  Do you want to put, just a little bit? There's only one part gin, two parts Dubonnet. Thank you. This week's toast goes to Keris via Hapana Alex, who says, hi guys. I wondered if you could give a toast to my wonderful wife, Keris. We have been together for seven years now and we're engaged for three. And we finally got married just over a month ago. We're avid listeners of the pod since it started all that time ago and have been to numerous live shows together. We're also expecting our first child together in just under four weeks. I'd love you to toast her and our bump, as I'm sure he, she will be the world's youngest G and D when they're born. Love you all. Well, Keris and Alex and your soon-to-be baby. This is for you.

• 4:37Speaker 02

  Keris, Alex and Mebby. Here you go.

• 4:42Speaker 02

  Ooh, that's good.

• 4:43Speaker 03

  Watch the botanicals in the gin.

• 4:46Speaker 02

  It's Burnley, so it'll be high, low.

• 4:49Speaker 03

  Sweet lemon notes, that's good. Powerful juniper, lingering citrus finish.

• 4:56Speaker 02

  Didn't she just marry Callum Turner?

• 4:58Speaker 03

  A lingering citrus finish.

• 4:59Speaker 02

  No, juniper.

• 5:02Speaker 02

  Hey, I'm back. I'm back.

• 5:04Speaker 03

  What's your favourite Dua Lipa song?

• 5:07Speaker 02

  I Can Be The One.

• 5:08Speaker 03

  Oh, I don't know that one.

• 5:09Speaker 02

  Is it? I Will Be The One. That's like when she first, original.

• 5:14Speaker 03

  Oh God, even original.

• 5:16Speaker 02

  What's yours, Ben? He's Googling Dua Lipa songs right now.

• 5:21Speaker 04

  What's William's?

• 5:22Speaker 03

  Physical. Or.

• 5:23Speaker 02

  Oh, physical's good.

• 5:25Speaker 03

  The, the one she did with Kylie Minogue.

• 5:27Speaker 02

  What was that one?

• 5:28Speaker 03

  Uh, Into The Groove.

• 5:30Speaker 02

  What was the one she did with Calgon Harris?

• 5:33Speaker 04

  One kiss is all it takes.

• 5:36Speaker 02

  And what was the one she did with Elton? Sorry, that's, I would joke to you now that I've met him.

• 5:40Speaker 03

  That's, yeah, Sir Austin John.

• 5:43Speaker 02

  Uh, it was. Cold, cold heart.

• 5:49Speaker 02

  Cold, cold heart. I used to think that was Coco heart.

• 5:52Speaker 03

  It's cold, cold heart. Cold, Kiana, he needs to work on his diction.

• 5:55Speaker 04

  I like new rules, just if you're interested.

• 5:57Speaker 03

  Okay. Oh, thank you. Very much.

• 5:59Speaker 04

  One.

• 6:02Speaker 03

  Okay, thank you. Enough of him. How are you darling?

• 6:05Speaker 02

  I'm good.

• 6:06Speaker 03

  How was your holiday?

• 6:07Speaker 02

  It was great, thank you.

• 6:08Speaker 03

  Are you refreshed and raring to go?

• 6:10Speaker 02

  Yes. The great people of Skegness looked after me. It was fantastic. I feel fresh. I feel good. And yeah, it's, it's good to be back. Got loads of reading done.

• 6:23Speaker 03

  Okay, lovely.

• 6:24Speaker 02

  I will put my book recommendations on. Tex Mikey, one of the books, he's already got it.

• 6:28Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 6:29Speaker 02

  Sunstruck, fantastic. You like it, you'll like it as well, I think.

• 6:33Speaker 04

  Sunstroke?

• 6:34Speaker 02

  Sunstruck.

• 6:35Speaker 04

  Struck.

• 6:36Speaker 02

  Really good. A debut novelist, really good.

• 6:39Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 6:39Speaker 02

  And I read a book about Trump, which was called The Imperial Presidency or something like that.

• 6:45Speaker 03

  Although we're adding a few new chapters to that.

• 6:47Speaker 02

  I'm halfway through a certain someone's book as well, but I'll, I'll talk about that on Friday.

• 6:52Speaker 03

  What book is that, Jordan?

• 6:52Speaker 02

  That's your book.

• 6:54Speaker 03

  Which is called?

• 6:55Speaker 02

  A Fatal Forking.

• 6:56Speaker 03

  Thank you very much.

• 6:57Speaker 02

  A Fatal Forking. I was going around Skeggy all week going, A Fatal Forking. It's a Fatal Forking. Cozy crime. It's a cozy crime.

• 7:04Speaker 03

  No, it's, no, no. It's a different genre.

• 7:06Speaker 02

  What is it?

• 7:07Speaker 03

  Camp crime.

• 7:08Speaker 02

  Camp, camp cozy crime.

• 7:09Speaker 04

  You were in Skegness when our book came out as well, weren't you?

• 7:11Speaker 02

  Yeah, I was. I was. It was so sick. When the Help I Sexted My Boss, Sunday Times bestseller came out.

• 7:17Speaker 03

  Yes. It's a literary hub, Skegness.

• 7:20Speaker 02

  Hmm, it is. I tried water skiing for the first time.

• 7:25Speaker 03

  God, you said water skiing.

• 7:27Speaker 02

  Yeah. Not for me.

• 7:30Speaker 03

  No.

• 7:30Speaker 02

  I was, I was laughed and mocked at by a load of poshos on the boat.

• 7:35Speaker 03

  Okay. Were you, and water skiing is when you're on one board?

• 7:39Speaker 02

  No, you're on two.

• 7:40Speaker 03

  You're on two.

• 7:40Speaker 02

  Right. So you had to have, and after six attempts.

• 7:43Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 7:43Speaker 02

  I, I had to stop. It was, it was so embarrassing and very humbling.

• 7:47Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 7:47Speaker 02

  But it saved your fortune because I was planning on going skiing in February.

• 7:50Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 7:50Speaker 02

  Because I've never been before and I thought, was pointing me going.

• 7:53Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 7:53Speaker 02

  But then I did say, because a few friends are going skiing in February, I was like, apparently. Now, I, tell me if you think this is camp. I was like, well, you go and ski and I'll clean chalet and like make scones and cookies and stuff.

• 8:05Speaker 03

  It's not camp at all. It's very butch.

• 8:07Speaker 02

  There you go. Thank you. So, but I'm not good at water skiing. You have to, and it felt like my legs were going to break.

• 8:12Speaker 03

  You've got to engage your core, don't you?

• 8:14Speaker 02

  It's not that. It's the, one of my biggest fears is breaking a leg, touch wood, I don't. So I didn't want to.

• 8:19Speaker 03

  What are some of your other biggest fears?

• 8:21Speaker 02

  Uh, there's, there's a few.

• 8:23Speaker 03

  Give me two.

• 8:24Speaker 02

  Uh, death in general.

• 8:25Speaker 03

  Yeah, fair enough.

• 8:27Speaker 02

  Yeah. A prison.

• 8:28Speaker 03

  Prison?

• 8:29Speaker 02

  Yeah. I died.

• 8:30Speaker 03

  Why would you be afraid of prison if you're not doing anything illegal?

• 8:33Speaker 02

  Well, I'm not, but I'd be, just the thought of going to prison. Do you not ever think, what would you, do you, Ben? Ever think, what would you do in prison? I can't just not bear thinking. What's your fears, rats?

• 8:43Speaker 04

  Been there, hasn't he? Have you seen that, like, obviously, like loads of celebrities now go as their, like, literal worst fear for Halloween that just happened? That, like, Lily Allen went to Halloween as, like, the, the seating plan of an unsold concert on Ticketmaster.

• 8:57Speaker 02

  Oh, that was clever.

• 8:58Speaker 04

  Sort of thing.

• 8:59Speaker 03

  Neat. Well, talking of Halloween, I went to my first Halloween party.

• 9:04Speaker 02

  Oh, how was that?

• 9:05Speaker 03

  It was fu- it was fun. It was just a party and we were, some of us were in fancy dress. I didn't really go as anything and I was proved right, literally when people go, oh, what've you come as? And I just go, I'm just a gay in a blouse. And they go, oh, okay. And that's it. Like, you don't need to go as that. You don't need to put in too much effort. I think putting in too much effort is vulgar.

• 9:23Speaker 02

  See, this is the only night for you, you wouldn't have to put makeup on because you're pale. So you could have just said, I've come as a ghost because of your complex.

• 9:30Speaker 03

  I put on eyeliner.

• 9:31Speaker 02

  Yeah, I seen.

• 9:33Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 9:33Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 9:34Speaker 03

  I gave myself a little bit of a, a little flick in the eye. Yeah. Uh, I was, I was, it was fun. It was nice, but didn't, did it, did we all need to dress up? No. Could you just have had a nice time without dressing up? Yes.

• 9:48Speaker 02

  Well, no.

• 9:49Speaker 03

  Well, you can.

• 9:49Speaker 02

  It's fun Halloween and you can be a bit slutty, like we said in the last.

• 9:52Speaker 03

  If anything, there was more of me covered than there normally would be.

• 9:55Speaker 02

  That's true. That's true.

• 9:57Speaker 03

  It's very high neck.

• 9:58Speaker 02

  Well, I'm glad you liked your Halloween. Did you get any trick or treaters?

• 10:01Speaker 03

  No, actually. I forgot to put the pumpkin out. We didn't get a pumpkin. We left at, what, 7pm? So, I mean, a lot, I, I saw up and down the streets and kids going up and down and heard trick or treat. But I didn't, I didn't go. I didn't endorse it.

• 10:18Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 10:18Speaker 03

  I didn't have anything in.

• 10:20Speaker 02

  Same. I got back late. I just got the cases through the door from Skeggy. Knock on door. I didn't know what to give them, so. I had some Ferrero Rochers in from Christmas, but because they were quite posh, I think they were happy. They were out of date, but it's fine.

• 10:34Speaker 03

  Beggars can't be choosers.

• 10:35Speaker 02

  Technically, it's wrapped as well because it's got that little bit at the bottom.

• 10:38Speaker 03

  Hmm hmm.

• 10:38Speaker 02

  There you are.

• 10:39Speaker 03

  They're good to hand out.

• 10:40Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 10:40Speaker 03

  Yeah. And we all set our calendars by it. Guinness season, we're in Guinness season now. We've told us this. The other sort of thing that you. Look, I look at you rearranging your camp poppy.

• 10:53Speaker 02

  Got my poppy on as well.

• 10:54Speaker 03

  You've got my poppy on.

• 10:55Speaker 02

  No, I did, I do, I did.

• 10:56Speaker 03

  There are signs that it could be a William Hanson poppy.

• 10:59Speaker 02

  It's quite sparkling glittery. I did, um, buy a poppy, but I've left it on my other coat.

• 11:04Speaker 03

  I know, yeah.

• 11:05Speaker 02

  Anyway, go on.

• 11:06Speaker 03

  Um, but have you put your heating on yet?

• 11:10Speaker 02

  Well, you'd be glad to know.

• 11:12Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 11:13Speaker 02

  I haven't put my heating on yet.

• 11:15Speaker 03

  Hmm.

• 11:15Speaker 02

  I've put the floor one on in the kitchen.

• 11:17Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 11:17Speaker 02

  Cause there's no worse than cold floor tiles, especially when you're up early.

• 11:21Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 11:21Speaker 02

  But following the chimney sweep.

• 11:25Speaker 03

  Hmm.

• 11:25Speaker 02

  I did light a log fire.

• 11:27Speaker 03

  You lit a log fire, but that doesn't really count as the heating, does it?

• 11:30Speaker 02

  Turns out, no, it doesn't count as the heating.

• 11:32Speaker 03

  No.

• 11:33Speaker 02

  Turns out you need quite a lot of equipment for log fire. So I didn't have the tray.

• 11:37Speaker 03

  And a lot of equipment's not your speciality.

• 11:39Speaker 02

  No. So didn't have the tray.

• 11:42Speaker 03

  Hmm.

• 11:43Speaker 02

  I didn't realise you had to have a tray at the bottom. It's just like an ashtray, like a big tray that goes underneath.

• 11:48Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 11:49Speaker 02

  Fucking ash everywhere, right? Then I didn't have the things to prod it. Don't worry, it's all ordered cast iron, beautiful. Executive cast iron fireplace set is on its way to my home.

• 12:01Speaker 03

  Fireplace set, lovely.

• 12:03Speaker 02

  And so I had to use me barbecue poker and prodder.

• 12:06Speaker 03

  Poker?

• 12:07Speaker 02

  Yeah, you know, like I had to use wedgie pinchers from barbecue, the tongs. But we finally got it going. Look at that. Doesn't it look beautiful?

• 12:15Speaker 03

  What?

• 12:17Speaker 03

  It does look very beautiful. You maybe, can I just suggest maybe one more?

• 12:20Speaker 02

  Joe! Oh, she's here.

• 12:25Speaker 02

  Um, I'll, I'll send that picture for carousel.

• 12:28Speaker 03

  Maybe one more log on there?

• 12:30Speaker 02

  No, well.

• 12:31Speaker 03

  That looks a little bit scant.

• 12:32Speaker 02

  I really got it going towards the end.

• 12:35Speaker 03

  Oh, there's a video. Now that looks better. That looks better.

• 12:37Speaker 02

  Sorry, I was watching It Too in the background. It was.

• 12:40Speaker 03

  Why are you watching It Too?

• 12:42Speaker 02

  I don't like Go Films, but don't mind it. So that, that looked good. So log fire for me.

• 12:47Speaker 03

  Okay, lovely. Well, that's very nice.

• 12:50Speaker 02

  Hey, which reminds me, God, this is how my mind works. Fire, didn't have my luxury executive fireplace set. Use the barbecue set that I have from a barbecue. Need to pay you for the barbecue. You've sent me the details. I'll do it right now.

• 13:05Speaker 03

  Yep.

• 13:06Speaker 02

  I'll do it right now whilst you tell everybody.

• 13:09Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 13:09Speaker 02

  About your big news, because I see you going back on tour.

• 13:12Speaker 03

  I am going back on tour, yes. I'm doing a solo tour next May.

• 13:17Speaker 03

  No, because I haven't invoiced you. You're paying a friend back. Excuse me?

• 13:22Speaker 02

  Alright, I'll pay for my personal account. Carry on.

• 13:24Speaker 03

  Thank you.

• 13:25Speaker 02

  Um, it's exciting this. By the way, the name of your tour, it's a handshake.

• 13:30Speaker 03

  Thank you.

• 13:30Speaker 02

  Who came up with that?

• 13:31Speaker 03

  I did, actually. First bit of original writing I've done since the novel.

• 13:35Speaker 02

  Fantastic.

• 13:37Speaker 03

  Thank you very much. The tour is called Manosphere. Get it?

• 13:39Speaker 02

  Manosphere.

• 13:40Speaker 04

  Manosphere, like manners.

• 13:41Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 13:42Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 13:42Speaker 03

  Works better on the poster.

• 13:44Speaker 02

  It works?

• 13:45Speaker 03

  Yeah, it does work. Uh, yes. So, uh, I'm coming to Birmingham, Leeds, Salford, Edinburgh. Bristol and that there London.

• 13:55Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 13:56Speaker 03

  In May next year. Tickets are on sale now. If you want to come, you're going to come, aren't you?

• 13:59Speaker 02

  I am.

• 14:00Speaker 03

  You've already texted me because famously you did not come to my last tour because you had football.

• 14:04Speaker 02

  I didn't come to the one before that as well.

• 14:06Speaker 03

  There wasn't one before that.

• 14:08Speaker 02

  Yeah, you're off one. Was that the right account?

• 14:10Speaker 03

  Well, are those the details I've sent you?

• 14:12Speaker 02

  No, but it's just the one that's already on. Is that ends in? Just have a look. How much was it? Fifty-five? Oh, the last time I paid you was help I sex in my boss teen Christmas meal.

• 14:25Speaker 03

  Is it the, the account number ends two, three and the sort code ends four, one?

• 14:29Speaker 02

  Yes, alright, give you detail now.

• 14:30Speaker 04

  Bloody hell.

• 14:31Speaker 03

  Well, if people want to pay me.

• 14:32Speaker 02

  Right.

• 14:34Speaker 03

  What's, what's the, you can't extract money with bank details. You need to put money in.

• 14:38Speaker 02

  Oh.

• 14:38Speaker 03

  We should do that. I'll just read out some bank details and see if people actually pay.

• 14:42Speaker 02

  Right, I've paid you.

• 14:44Speaker 03

  That would be hilarious.

• 14:45Speaker 02

  There you go. I've paid you.

• 14:46Speaker 04

  People do that in Wetherspoons, on the Wetherspoons app.

• 14:48Speaker 02

  Let me know when it goes in.

• 14:49Speaker 03

  I'm good. I always do.

• 14:52Speaker 02

  Great, great podcasting there. So there we go. It's done. Only got to the winter and we're sorted.

• 14:58Speaker 03

  So everyone that complains that you have not, because you hate owing people money.

• 15:02Speaker 02

  I hate owing people money.

• 15:03Speaker 03

  Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, you've paid it for your business account.

• 15:08Speaker 02

  Don't cut that. I've done it by accident, but cut that. I don't want fucking taxman on me, you knob.

• 15:21Speaker 02

  You're such a gobshite. Well, now put it back in, because I can't be arsed. Fucking HMRC on me back. Right, put it back in and I'll pay for me other account. Go on, pay me back.

• 15:32Speaker 03

  No, tell you what, I'm holding on to it. You pay me and then I'll return the money.

• 15:36Speaker 02

  Just for the tax purposes, I'm going to pay William from my personal account.

• 15:42Speaker 03

  You're paying William's personal account from your personal account.

• 15:46Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 15:47Speaker 03

  There was an administrative error.

• 15:49Speaker 02

  There was an administrative error.

• 15:51Speaker 03

  And Jordan paid from the wrong account.

• 15:52Speaker 02

  I paid from the wrong account. Oh, I don't have you on my personal account.

• 15:56Speaker 03

  Well then, that's why I sent you my bank details.

• 15:58Speaker 02

  Right, give me details.

• 16:03Speaker 02

  Right, see, this is where, is it your real name or your stage name?

• 16:07Speaker 03

  It's the same thing.

• 16:08Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 16:09Speaker 03

  Account number, bleep this.

• 16:11Speaker 02

  Bleep this, yeah?

• 16:12Speaker 04

  You can't extract money.

• 16:15Speaker 02

  Can you pay me back that into the?

• 16:17Speaker 03

  Once you have paid me.

• 16:18Speaker 02

  Right. Christ, what a nightmare. And can I just say for anyone at HMRC listening, I have got a great accountant. I know you're probably thinking, on your way in now going, oh, he's a good one to check. I've got a great accountant who is brilliant and does it all for me. So it's all fine, all above board and I proudly pay the tax.

• 16:36Speaker 03

  HMRC, if you're listening, let's test out how good that accountant is.

• 16:39Speaker 02

  Yeah, fine, genuinely. I'm, I don't, I'm fine.

• 16:41Speaker 04

  They just happen to be based in the Cayman Islands.

• 16:46Speaker 02

  No, right, barbecue money.

• 16:49Speaker 04

  I think you should take, so the barbecue, the barbecue was in August, right, which is three months ago.

• 16:56Speaker 03

  No, four.

• 16:57Speaker 04

  Four, is it four?

• 16:58Speaker 03

  August, August, September, October, November.

• 17:00Speaker 04

  So you can pay Jordan back the administrative error in?

• 17:05Speaker 02

  Unexpected money.

• 17:06Speaker 04

  February?

• 17:06Speaker 03

  March.

• 17:07Speaker 02

  I'd say keep it for the next barbecue, for the next Christmas money, but with all the stuff I'm getting him from M and S every week and what you bring in, you're paying for Christmas do this year. Is this an unexpected request? No. Have you all felt, right, has someone asked you to leave money on their behalf? No.

• 17:22Speaker 03

  Well, yes. I've been asking for months.

• 17:25Speaker 02

  Here we go. Barbecue money, fifty-five pounds.

• 17:27Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 17:29Speaker 02

  Day, start!

• 17:31Speaker 03

  Oh, there it is.

• 17:33Speaker 02

  What a moment.

• 17:34Speaker 03

  I've screenshotted it.

• 17:35Speaker 02

  What a moment. So yeah, that's me. What else has been going on with you?

• 17:38Speaker 03

  Uh, well, preparing for the solo tour, uh, at the time this goes out, I'm back on the West End stage in Titanic.

• 17:45Speaker 02

  Tonight?

• 17:46Speaker 03

  Tonight, yes. Well, not tonight, but tonight when this goes out. Um, I had my day of rehearsal.

• 17:52Speaker 02

  You know.

• 17:53Speaker 03

  What? Oh, gosh.

• 17:53Speaker 02

  You just reminded me.

• 17:55Speaker 03

  Oh, no.

• 17:58Speaker 03

  Stop laughing.

• 17:58Speaker 02

  You know, we're talking about money and you know, when we last went out and had a few drinks and asked you how much you got paid for it?

• 18:03Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah.

• 18:04Speaker 02

  Yeah, I've told loads of people and I've.

• 18:06Speaker 03

  What could you not?

• 18:06Speaker 02

  I'm sorry, I don't know why.

• 18:11Speaker 02

  I was like, Tis, I'm sorry.

• 18:13Speaker 03

  Well, you're forgiven. It's fine. It's no secret. Well, it is a secret, but, um, you're funny. Um, in other news, I haven't had a bath yet, so I can't report back on whether my balls float as a Beyoncé A.

• 18:23Speaker 02

  Hmm.

• 18:24Speaker 03

  Uh, I, I don't know.

• 18:25Speaker 02

  I've had.

• 18:26Speaker 03

  Oh, actually I did have a bath yesterday.

• 18:28Speaker 02

  I had one yesterday as well.

• 18:29Speaker 03

  I thought, I thought I could feel you.

• 18:32Speaker 02

  And you didn't notice?

• 18:34Speaker 03

  I didn't think. I'm, I'm not sitting there playing with myself.

• 18:39Speaker 02

  Yeah, don't do it in bath, it gets everybody, yeah.

• 18:43Speaker 02

  Um, I've had two baths this week.

• 18:45Speaker 03

  Have you?

• 18:46Speaker 02

  Now I can't not notice it.

• 18:47Speaker 03

  Two baths and a log fire.

• 18:48Speaker 02

  The boobs floated after that. Stop up. Right, Beyoncé As.

• 18:53Speaker 03

  Beyoncé, well, they are more, they are literally Beyoncé As, I think.

• 18:56Speaker 02

  Before we move on, uh, Ben wanted to bring someone to the table this week, didn't you, Ben? Now that you're on camera.

• 19:03Speaker 04

  Well, I just saw, I'm sure that some people saw this.

• 19:06Speaker 02

  With enthusiasm, you're presenting now.

• 19:09Speaker 04

  Well, um, I saw this amazing thing online.

• 19:11Speaker 03

  This is so much better. Great, well done.

• 19:13Speaker 04

  That I just wanted to bring to the table.

• 19:15Speaker 03

  Go for it, Ben, yeah.

• 19:16Speaker 04

  And obviously you guys love Gen Z slang, right?

• 19:18Speaker 03

  Love Gen Z slang.

• 19:20Speaker 04

  Did you see that the Collins English Dictionary, they revealed their word of the year in the last week or so?

• 19:24Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 19:25Speaker 04

  Did you see what it is?

• 19:27Speaker 03

  Is it mugging?

• 19:27Speaker 04

  It's mugging.

• 19:28Speaker 02

  Mugging, yes.

• 19:29Speaker 04

  You aware of mugging?

• 19:30Speaker 02

  Do you know what it means?

• 19:31Speaker 03

  No.

• 19:32Speaker 02

  Have a guess.

• 19:33Speaker 03

  Uh, is it where you cuddle tightly your cat?

• 19:37Speaker 02

  No.

• 19:38Speaker 04

  It does sound like that though. Good guess.

• 19:40Speaker 02

  It's where you rim the bit in between the balls and that hole.

• 19:47Speaker 03

  Oh.

• 19:47Speaker 02

  No, I'm joking. Um, the douche, no, um.

• 19:51Speaker 03

  It's not the douche.

• 19:52Speaker 02

  Oh, it's the gooch, so.

• 19:54Speaker 03

  The douche is something else.

• 19:56Speaker 02

  The gooch. Um, it's upstaging someone, just getting one better on them. It's, uh.

• 20:02Speaker 04

  Oh, that's why I wanted to bring it up.

• 20:03Speaker 03

  So can you put it in context?

• 20:04Speaker 02

  Can you give the official?

• 20:05Speaker 04

  Well, I guess the, the, I feel like you are both sort of, you try to mogg each other consistently.

• 20:10Speaker 02

  No, we don't.

• 20:11Speaker 04

  It's basically.

• 20:12Speaker 03

  Well, thank God we've had the definition of that before, rather than his definition.

• 20:15Speaker 04

  Well, the previous definition has been eleven a reef, when I go to Tenerife.

• 20:20Speaker 02

  Ah, yes.

• 20:22Speaker 04

  I think mogg is that in a word.

• 20:24Speaker 02

  Yeah, I do.

• 20:25Speaker 04

  You're constantly trying to mogg each other.

• 20:27Speaker 02

  So I've been to Tenerife, you've been to eleven a reef.

• 20:29Speaker 04

  Collins has defined it as being used playfully, but it, it was linked to the manosphere.

• 20:35Speaker 03

  Manosphere, not the manosphere.

• 20:37Speaker 04

  It's been retaken or taken by Gen Z. And it's, it means the act of outshining or outperforming someone or something.

• 20:45Speaker 03

  Lovely.

• 20:46Speaker 02

  Great, there you are. So I'm mugging. Which is the best dictionary? Collins, Oxford or?

• 20:51Speaker 03

  The OED.

• 20:52Speaker 02

  What's the OED?

• 20:53Speaker 03

  Um, the Oxford English Dictionary. Have I never talked to you about?

• 20:56Speaker 02

  Is there a Cambridge English Dictionary?

• 20:57Speaker 03

  I think there might be. You know, obviously I used to do Five Live a lot. It's how we met. But there was a time where I think I had just got off a flight and I was called in and into the studio to do something on the pronunciation of scone or scone or something. Or maybe it was, maybe it was just a phoneme or something. And I got a bit terse. They never invited me back after this. I mean, I have been back on it since, but there were years when I wasn't on it. Because I'm always like, I know, it should be pronounced scone because the Collins English Dictionary. I just went, well, it's not the Oxford English Dictionary, is it?

• 21:24Speaker 02

  Brilliant.

• 21:24Speaker 03

  And they didn't like that. And so they didn't like me back on.

• 21:27Speaker 02

  The Oxford English Dictionary.

• 21:29Speaker 03

  No.

• 21:29Speaker 02

  Uh, speaking of which, have you got an etiquette etymology of the week for us, please?

• 21:34Speaker 03

  I do. I do.

• 21:36Speaker 02

  Can you do one on the Oxford and?

• 21:38Speaker 03

  Well, it's not very etiquette, is it? But I can just do a history lesson.

• 21:42Speaker 02

  Quite interesting.

• 21:44Speaker 03

  As long as you, if it's, if I'll do it, but if you go, it's got nothing to do with etiquette.

• 21:48Speaker 02

  Yeah, do one on the Oxford and the rival dictionaries.

• 21:52Speaker 03

  Okay. Well, after these messages, inspired by the fact that we ran out of it last time, and I thought, we haven't, we haven't actually ever done properly the etymology of this thing. I'm going to spill the tea on the D.

• 22:07Speaker 02

  Wow.

• 22:08Speaker 03

  Yes, after these messages. This episode is sponsored by Uncommon Goods.

• 22:13Speaker 02

  You know what's coming around the corner?

• 22:15Speaker 03

  Oh.

• 22:15Speaker 02

  Christmas.

• 22:16Speaker 03

  Of course, yes.

• 22:17Speaker 02

  What have you got me?

• 22:18Speaker 03

  Well, I mean, nothing yet.

• 22:20Speaker 02

  Can I, uh, make a little suggestion?

• 22:22Speaker 03

  Okay, go on.

• 22:23Speaker 02

  Uncommon Goods makes holiday shopping like proper fun. With thousands of one of a kind gifts for everyone on your list and it's all in one place. It's high quality, it's unique and often handmade or made in the US. Many are crafted, this is the best bit, by independent artists and small businesses. Making every gift feel like meaningful and truly one of a kind. So if I got you, uh, ceramic stacking tea for one set.

• 22:54Speaker 03

  Uh, if it's handcrafted, I mean, I love handcrafted ceramics.

• 22:57Speaker 02

  Includes a little six ounce cup topped with a 14 ounce teapot lid. Perfect for those little solo tea moments when you take your little tea up to your study.

• 23:06Speaker 03

  Yes, because so, so many teapots are too big. I mean, fine if you got, you know, the village round.

• 23:09Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 23:10Speaker 03

  But it's, it's not good if it's just for you. Well, that's kind. Now for you, I'm thinking a cast iron potato baker. So you can cook your potatoes to perfection.

• 23:20Speaker 02

  Oh, wow. That sounds amazing.

• 23:21Speaker 03

  What's your favorite potato topping?

• 23:23Speaker 02

  Cheese.

• 23:24Speaker 03

  Good answer.

• 23:25Speaker 02

  So don't wait. Cross those names off your list before the rush. Get 15% off your next gift. Go to uncommongoods.com/myboss. That's uncommongoods.com/myboss for 15% off. Uncommon Goods, we're all out of the ordinary.

• 23:43Speaker 00

  Scaling your business doesn't have to mean endless meetings or repetitive training. With Camtasia Pro, teams can easily transform their expertise into engaging video content. No professional editing experience required. By combining screen recording, editing and AI-powered workflows into one simple solution, Camtasia Pro helps you train faster, onboard smarter and easily document critical processes. Get over $100 off your first year at camtasiapro.com and start building a smarter way to educate customers, onboard employees and ensure valuable expertise is shared across teams.

• 24:21Speaker 05

  Whoever said good things come to those who wait, never shopped Black Friday early at Lowe's. Right now, get up to 50% off select major appliances. Plus get free delivery, free haulaway and free basic installation and parts when you spend $896 or more on select major appliances. Shop Black Friday early in store and online now at Lowe's. Valid through 12/2 while supplies last. Selection varies by location. See associate on lowe's.com for details.

• 24:53Speaker 06

  It's William. William. The etiquette geek, his knowledge. Knowledge. Quite unique. He'll give you manners. Manners. A subtle tweak. It's time for William's Etiquette Etymology of the Week. Cha cha cha, cha cha cha, cha cha cha. Cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha.

• 25:14Speaker 03

  So it's me. Welcome back, Jane Devers. Uh, I'm going to talk to you. Sometimes you do it, sometimes I do it. Yeah.

• 25:19Speaker 02

  It's all to do with the eye signal.

• 25:20Speaker 03

  It is.

• 25:21Speaker 02

  That was a look, so it's your turn to do it.

• 25:23Speaker 03

  How was it?

• 25:23Speaker 04

  As long as the audience didn't realise anything was.

• 25:25Speaker 03

  No, they wouldn't have noticed anything. No.

• 25:27Speaker 02

  On air today, I nearly said something that would have got me in massive trouble. And I'd just seen a look from both Chris and Sean and I knew to move on. It's like a look you get. It's a vibe.

• 25:38Speaker 03

  I'm desperate to say what it is because I think I know, but I'm not going to say it.

• 25:41Speaker 02

  No, and they both looked at me and I went, and it was like, it wasn't even a, it was just subtle. Anyway.

• 25:48Speaker 03

  Okay. So the history of Dubonnet, the drink that we drink, we have drunk for 4,012 episodes of this podcast.

• 25:54Speaker 02

  Is that how many we've done?

• 25:55Speaker 03

  Literally 4,012 we've done. Yeah. How many have we done? We're going to come back to that. Um, it was established by, it says on the back of the bottle, Joseph Dubonnet in 1846.

• 26:06Speaker 02

  There's a fellow called Dubonnet.

• 26:07Speaker 03

  Yeah, there was. Yeah. Well, there probably is. Probably still a surname. 1846, just coming up to seven o'clock in the evening. The House of Dubonnet, as it's called, began as a drinks business in Paris, but it was, they were a distributor for the drink Chardonnay. They didn't actually produce their own drinks. So originally they were just a distributor. Then the familiar tonic wine, uh, not yet part of the business. And its creation to help French soldiers in Africa is a complete myth. So Joseph Dubonnet, he died in 1847 and the firm is taken over by his son Paul Dubonnet. And Royal Montmorency, a cherry-based liquor launched in 1889, is the firm's first creation. So this is where they move from distributor into actually producing their own drinks.

• 26:50Speaker 03

  This was then followed in 1893 by Quinquinna Dubonnet, a tonic wine with quinine in it. Okay. And that's the quinine thing and tonic water, like gin and tonic has quinine in it. Supposedly helps repel mosquitoes. It doesn't. You'd literally have to like drown yourself in it for it to do anything. Anyway, um, Le Figaro newspaper reported that Paul Dubonnet presented the family's products at the exposition de progress. And Dubonnet is promoted to be beneficial to digestion. So as a digestif. Now, it did fall into a bit of a backlash at this point because people like, um, doctors and temperance movements,

• 27:30Speaker 03

  uh, began questioning the popularity of medicinal alcoholic drinks, saying this is not in any way medicinal. It's still alcohol. It's not helping you digest anything. Um, and critics were arguing that people were consuming alcohol under the impression that they are taking medicine. And that's maybe not the healthiest of things to, to propel. So by the 1920s and the 30s, it's now simply called Dubonnet. So we've lost the Quinquinna Dubonnet. It's just Dubonnet. It's back in fashion and, um, all sorts of campaigns were created. And, uh, the actress Pia Zadora became the face of the brand in the 1960s and Dubonnet again became cool once more. And then we're sort of up to where we are today. Now, in researching this, I found some additional stories about the wonderful late Queen Mother and Dubonnet.

• 28:16Speaker 03

  She obviously famously left a note to her page of the back stairs. Great title.

• 28:22Speaker 02

  Who?

• 28:22Speaker 03

  Page of the back stairs.

• 28:23Speaker 02

  What's that?

• 28:24Speaker 03

  What in effect, we just call a butler or a footman, but in the royal household, they have ridiculous names. Page of the back stairs. In another life, I'll be page of the back stairs. It's a lovely, it's a lovely title. Um, I think I will, this is the quote. I think I will take two small bottles of Dubonnet and gin with me this morning in case it is needed. And this note was kept by her page of the back stairs, who's called William Tallon and sold. How much do you think that note sold for in 2008? After she died.

• 28:48Speaker 02

  20,000?

• 28:50Speaker 03

  Hmm, less than that. But close.

• 28:52Speaker 02

  I went like that. That's for you to give more for 15?

• 28:55Speaker 03

  16,000.

• 28:56Speaker 02

  Right.

• 28:56Speaker 03

  Little note. Good guess. Yeah. Very good guess. Should be on Antiques Roadshow. Should be one of the experts.

• 29:02Speaker 02

  I can guess.

• 29:03Speaker 03

  The rate it's going, you probably will be for the last ever series.

• 29:07Speaker 03

  Of the, if you were on it. Yeah. Uh, anyway, in 2009, the late Queen famously had her bottle of Dubonnet confiscated at Lord's Cricket Ground. Because they said that taking in spirits or fortified wine was banned.

• 29:17Speaker 02

  Shut up.

• 29:19Speaker 03

  She was staying for lunch and she found an empty drinks cabinet there and someone was sent to St John's Wood to buy a bottle of Dubonnet. But the security threatened to confiscate it. And it was only when they insisted, but it's for Queen Elizabeth, that the security staff relented and Her Majesty got her favour of pre-lunch drink.

• 29:33Speaker 02

  Get away.

• 29:34Speaker 03

  So there we go.

• 29:35Speaker 02

  That's amazing.

• 29:36Speaker 03

  So some additional context on Dubonnet.

• 29:38Speaker 02

  That was.

• 29:39Speaker 03

  I thought that was very interesting. I know it's not strictly etiquette-y, although we got the Queen Mother in, so kind of became it.

• 29:44Speaker 02

  I, I thought it was very interesting.

• 29:45Speaker 03

  Thank you so much, darling.

• 29:46Speaker 02

  There you go.

• 29:47Speaker 04

  Talking about guessing, which number episode will this be?

• 29:51Speaker 03

  4,002.

• 29:53Speaker 02

  Uh, 2,508.

• 29:55Speaker 04

  Bloody hell.

• 29:56Speaker 03

  No, we're on something like 800, 900?

• 29:58Speaker 04

  This will be the 739th.

• 30:01Speaker 02

  Stop it. Stop it. Feel like I've spent half my life doing this. Is that all we've done?

• 30:10Speaker 04

  That's quite a lot.

• 30:12Speaker 02

  I still think we've got 739 in us.

• 30:16Speaker 04

  Well, let's mark that.

• 30:17Speaker 03

  I thought you were sitting for me.

• 30:19Speaker 02

  Let's, let's, yeah. There we go. Uh, before we get to your modern day dilemmas, tomorrow we do have another Patreon exclusive episode.

• 30:28Speaker 03

  Yes, that's right. Premium members of our Patreon channel, Help I Sex My Boss Out of Office, get a brand new episode every Wednesday.

• 30:35Speaker 02

  We're not doing the.

• 30:36Speaker 03

  I'm over the U. Oh, you see, that's why we're not doing the U.

• 30:40Speaker 02

  Eee. Thank you. Last Wednesday, we did an Ask Us Anything special.

• 30:45Speaker 03

  Yes. And in tomorrow's Out of Office episode, it will see us be left all alone in the studio as we are abandoned by the production team to produce ourselves.

• 30:54Speaker 02

  Yes. And that's Help I Sex My Boss Bareback.

• 30:57Speaker 03

  Wow. Okay.

• 30:58Speaker 02

  Isn't it? What we're calling that one?

• 31:00Speaker 03

  I'd, I'd, I quite like that.

• 31:01Speaker 02

  It's no, it's uncut. I got it mixed up.

• 31:03Speaker 03

  Uncut and raw?

• 31:04Speaker 02

  Uncut and raw.

• 31:05Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 31:05Speaker 02

  Is that what we're calling it?

• 31:06Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 31:06Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's got a bad name. Help I Sex My Boss. So there's, that's like no script or anything. It's just me and you.

• 31:11Speaker 03

  Mm-hmm. Yep.

• 31:13Speaker 02

  Not that we script.

• 31:14Speaker 03

  No, but there's literally nothing.

• 31:16Speaker 02

  We'll see how it goes.

• 31:16Speaker 03

  They might not even turn the lights on. It could just be a blank, black feed if you're watching it.

• 31:21Speaker 02

  Sexofmyboss.com/patreon. Right, let's go to your listeners' problems and dilemmas, please, William Hanson.

• 31:26Speaker 03

  This is from Jane. Jane with a Y, if you want a bit of context. Hello, epic sex.

• 31:31Speaker 02

  Do you know what I found out this week?

• 31:32Speaker 03

  What?

• 31:33Speaker 02

  You know Jane Doe and John Doe?

• 31:35Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 31:36Speaker 02

  It's not a person.

• 31:37Speaker 03

  No.

• 31:38Speaker 02

  When you're watching a, a detective series.

• 31:42Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 31:42Speaker 02

  It means an unnamed person. I'm watching Fury at the moment on Disney Plus. I'm like, she's not called Jane Doe. Like, no, that's.

• 31:50Speaker 03

  No, if they don't know the name of the body, yeah, they call it Jane Doe.

• 31:53Speaker 02

  I never knew that. What are you watching? Fury.

• 31:55Speaker 03

  Oh, it's good. Oh, it's good. That is good.

• 31:58Speaker 02

  Joe? Joe?

• 32:02Speaker 02

  Stink that on the thing, on your little tele recommendation thing. I like that. Fury on Disney Plus.

• 32:07Speaker 03

  Gilded Age HBO.

• 32:09Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 32:10Speaker 03

  Now TV. Anyway, Jane, not Jane Doe, says, hello, epic sexed team. I have a question for the etiquette aficionado. The property prince, the decorum deity, only the propriety prince, sorry, the decorum deity. On which side of one's outfit should a poppy be worn? And is it any different for a man or a woman? I'll defer to what William thinks rather than trusting the internet, which seems to offer conflicting advice. Jane. Um, well, before we continue, uh, I was drawn, because you posted on your social media, Jordan, to an interview that you've done with The Telegraph, because you're doing a great charity thing. And in it, one of your quotes says, uh, I'm very interested in modern etiquette. Hello.

• 32:48Speaker 02

  I never said that.

• 32:49Speaker 03

  Yes, you did. That's what they quote you in.

• 32:50Speaker 02

  I was misquoted there.

• 32:53Speaker 02

  Did I?

• 32:54Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 32:54Speaker 02

  Oh, I did say.

• 32:55Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 32:56Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 32:56Speaker 03

  I went, oh.

• 32:57Speaker 02

  Well, I won't be doing this for 800 episodes, how many it is, if I weren't interested.

• 33:00Speaker 03

  739.

• 33:02Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 33:02Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 33:03Speaker 02

  By the way, all the Jane Ds have stopped commenting going, well, that's the end of the telegraph.

• 33:08Speaker 02

  Getting really annoying now. There's lots of things I've been on that haven't ended. And all the other Jane Ds going lol, you know, you know.

• 33:15Speaker 04

  That is funny. That is categorically very funny.

• 33:19Speaker 02

  But stop doing it on everything I'm on.

• 33:21Speaker 04

  I just like that there'll be some people at The Telegraph being like, what is, what do they mean?

• 33:25Speaker 03

  Are we out of a job?

• 33:26Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 33:26Speaker 03

  Um, anyway, uh, basically you're left, LePell. Whereas left is generally where it goes.

• 33:31Speaker 02

  Where your heart is, isn't it?

• 33:32Speaker 03

  Uh, yeah, it's meant to get all, all your, everything, basically, medals, poppies, if you're wearing an AIDS ribbon, Alzheimer's badge, whatever you're doing, leak, if it's St David's Day, whatever, always on your left.

• 33:43Speaker 02

  Left, so always on your left.

• 33:44Speaker 03

  Whereas left.

• 33:45Speaker 02

  Great question. I do love watching Remembrance Sunday on Sundays when it's on.

• 33:50Speaker 03

  Yeah, I do. I have to just remember to watch it.

• 33:51Speaker 02

  Oh, it's the, it's obviously very sad, lest we forget.

• 33:54Speaker 03

  Lest we forget.

• 33:55Speaker 02

  Now it's just fascinating, all prime ministers lined up.

• 33:58Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 33:58Speaker 02

  I've got an idea for a TV show.

• 33:59Speaker 03

  They've had to expand the Senate after, just to fit them all in.

• 34:02Speaker 02

  Have they?

• 34:03Speaker 03

  No, uh.

• 34:04Speaker 02

  I've got an idea for a TV show about that. Because you should film them getting together and then after it, you just get them all around a table and they have it out and talk about being.

• 34:13Speaker 03

  We could do a Traitors Prime Minister special.

• 34:15Speaker 04

  That's a good idea and you don't need, you don't need one series.

• 34:18Speaker 02

  Hmm.

• 34:19Speaker 04

  If you're involved.

• 34:20Speaker 03

  Well, Jordan's not a former prime minister.

• 34:22Speaker 02

  Yeah. And by the way, this has been going for about eight year and I'm on it.

• 34:25Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 34:26Speaker 02

  But yeah, it's just fascinating now. So Andy Burnham, who I met, by the way.

• 34:31Speaker 03

  Yes, yes, a great friend of yours.

• 34:32Speaker 02

  Uh, Keir Starmer.

• 34:34Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 34:34Speaker 02

  He stabbed in the, oh, it's gonna be great.

• 34:36Speaker 03

  Can you name your prime ministers from Margaret Thatcher up?

• 34:39Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 34:39Speaker 03

  Go.

• 34:40Speaker 02

  John Major.

• 34:40Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 34:41Speaker 02

  Okay, Tony Blair.

• 34:42Speaker 03

  Correct.

• 34:43Speaker 02

  Uh, then it was Gordon Brown.

• 34:44Speaker 03

  Correct.

• 34:44Speaker 02

  Then it was David Cameron.

• 34:45Speaker 03

  Correct.

• 34:46Speaker 02

  Then it was Theresa May.

• 34:48Speaker 03

  Theresa May.

• 34:48Speaker 02

  Theresa May.

• 34:49Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 34:49Speaker 02

  Then it was, uh, oh.

• 34:54Speaker 02

  Boris Johnson.

• 34:55Speaker 03

  Yep.

• 34:55Speaker 02

  Then it was Liz Truss.

• 34:56Speaker 03

  Yep.

• 34:57Speaker 02

  Rishi Sunak.

• 34:58Speaker 03

  Ish, yeah.

• 34:59Speaker 02

  Rishi Sunak.

• 35:00Speaker 03

  Rishi Sunak.

• 35:00Speaker 02

  Uh, Sir Keir Starmer.

• 35:02Speaker 03

  Yep.

• 35:03Speaker 02

  And currently Andy Burnham.

• 35:04Speaker 03

  Correct. Well done.

• 35:07Speaker 03

  Okay, let's make it harder.

• 35:09Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm.

• 35:11Speaker 03

  From Woolpole onwards.

• 35:14Speaker 02

  I know there was a Noel thing there.

• 35:16Speaker 03

  Was there?

• 35:17Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 35:18Speaker 03

  Was it George Noel?

• 35:19Speaker 02

  Who was before Thatcher?

• 35:21Speaker 03

  Who was before Thatcher? Um, uh, not Ted Heath, it was, uh, Callahan, wasn't it?

• 35:26Speaker 02

  Yeah, one of them. Anyway, go on, next question.

• 35:30Speaker 03

  Right, uh, this is from Nellie. Dear William and Jordan, recently I was browsing a lovely quiet antique shop with my sister and nephew in Hungerford, Berkshire, on a trip back from the Cotswolds. Having become separated from them earlier, I was exploring the calm, empty rooms upstairs towards the rear of the building, when I eventually found my sister standing near a display. Now, William, as you know, true elegance requires restraint, but nature sometimes calls. Having suffered from a rather persistent case of trapped flatulence and believing I was in the safe private company of my own sibling, I seized the opportunity. Determined to be playfully affectionate, I tiptoed up to her silently as she faced away from me, angled my rear so it was practically touching her leg, and let out a loud, high-pitched squeaky fart.

• 36:12Speaker 03

  It was only in the exact horrifying split second as the sound echoed through the quiet room that I happened to look down at her shoes. They were not my sister's trainers.

• 36:24Speaker 03

  It was a complete stranger who had the exact same hair height and general style as my sister.

• 36:35Speaker 03

  I did not utter a single word. I simply turned on my heel and shuffled away as fast as my legs could carry me. I tracked down my actual sister and nephew, grabbed them, whispered, we need to leave now, and fled the premises.

• 36:48Speaker 02

  You can't rest and fish it like that. Farting on a runt of his leg.

• 36:53Speaker 03

  My questions are, the departure, was shuffling off in absolute silence the correct protocol? Or should I have offered a polite apology for weaponizing my digestive system against an innocent antique shopper? Acoustics, what is the official etiquette on handling loud, unexpected bodily noises in quiet, historic enclosed spaces? Yours in deep mortified shame, Nellie from Sussex. Well, Nellie, you've lived up to your name. I would say if you, you're going.

• 37:18Speaker 04

  The elephant.

• 37:18Speaker 03

  No, Nellie, you're right, Nellie.

• 37:21Speaker 02

  Oh, right.

• 37:21Speaker 04

  You're right, Nellie, you are.

• 37:23Speaker 03

  Yeah. If you're gonna do that anyway, you're gonna, you're gonna have your comeuppance. You've had your comeuppance. It's never gonna happen again now.

• 37:31Speaker 02

  I love.

• 37:32Speaker 03

  You've only got yourself to blame.

• 37:33Speaker 02

  That we're still living in a world where siblings are still farting on each other and I'm here for it.

• 37:39Speaker 03

  I have never farted on my brother. He has never farted on me.

• 37:41Speaker 02

  Your brother's never farted on you?

• 37:43Speaker 03

  No.

• 37:44Speaker 02

  Have you ever farted on your brother, vice versa? You must have done when you were like teenagers.

• 37:49Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 37:51Speaker 03

  Yeah, and then you grow out of it.

• 37:53Speaker 02

  No, no, you don't. And I love that it's still going. But yeah, just be careful who you're farting on because I'm pretty sure that person's going around going, this absolute fucking weirdo.

• 38:03Speaker 03

  Hmm.

• 38:03Speaker 02

  Came up to me in antique shop and farted on my leg. I would have said, I'm so sorry, I thought you were my sister. This is mortifying, but I'm sorry, wafted away. I'm so sorry, I thought it was my sister.

• 38:15Speaker 04

  I knew, I was reading that before coming in today.

• 38:19Speaker 02

  Laughing.

• 38:19Speaker 04

  I, no, I just knew that Jordan was going to absolutely love it.

• 38:25Speaker 02

  Yes, I do. Do you know what I love as well in the bath? Farting in the bath.

• 38:29Speaker 03

  Oh.

• 38:30Speaker 02

  It's the best. Those bubbles when they tickle your, when they tickle your bum.

• 38:35Speaker 03

  Jordan.

• 38:39Speaker 02

  When they tickle your bum.

• 38:42Speaker 03

  Do you have a sensitive bottom?

• 38:45Speaker 02

  Not really, I don't think.

• 38:46Speaker 03

  Well, clearly you do.

• 38:47Speaker 02

  Do you, have you trumped in the bath?

• 38:49Speaker 03

  No, uh.

• 38:50Speaker 02

  You are.

• 38:50Speaker 04

  You farted in the bath, William.

• 38:52Speaker 03

  I have absolutely not farted in the bath. No wonder your balls are floating. It's probably the air from your bottom lifting them up.

• 38:57Speaker 02

  Best.

• 39:05Speaker 03

  I can't understand a word you were saying.

• 39:16Speaker 02

  I lost in powers.

• 39:24Speaker 02

  I lost in powers.

• 39:26Speaker 03

  You've become like that character in Clarkson's Farm where we couldn't understand an absolute word you were saying.

• 39:32Speaker 02

  Oh, Wendy's, do you remember that was the title of my chapter of my book that got?

• 39:37Speaker 03

  Why farts are always funny, that you pitched at one of the world's biggest publishers?

• 39:41Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 39:42Speaker 03

  Yeah. No, I said no. This is from Millennial Izzy from Australia.

• 39:46Speaker 04

  G'day, mate.

• 39:47Speaker 03

  Dear boys, my boyfriend and I have been together for some time and after moving in with one another, I discovered that he only brushes his teeth once a day, in the morning, during his shower. I come from a household where brushing your teeth twice a day was absolutely a necessity and it was never questioned. On my messiest nights out, even those where I don't quite make it back into my bed, I always brush my teeth. I pride myself on this, occasionally waking up with no recollection of the trip home, but with a wet toothbrush nonetheless. However, the more this has come up in conversation with friends, the more I'm starting to think that I'm the odd one out. The vast majority of friends, male and female, are in the once a day boat. I'm gobsmacked. Please back me up here. Thanks and love always. Oh, and P S, Jordan, girls absolutely love the undy hammock.

• 40:27Speaker 03

  My phone will be sat, sitting there whenever jeans or pants are involved and it has ended up down by my ankle too many times. To recall, Millennial Izzy, one word, Australia, of course.

• 40:37Speaker 02

  I, yeah, I, I think, I couldn't, I, I have been hammered, right? And like, gone on bed and room's been spinning and I've dropped off and I thought, oh, I can't, I can't sleep now without doing my teeth. The thought of going to bed now without your mouth being fresh. But I've never used to, or there'd be a few nights where I wouldn't, but I didn't have great oral hygiene.

• 40:56Speaker 03

  Yeah, but twice a day, absolutely.

• 40:58Speaker 02

  Sometimes three.

• 40:59Speaker 03

  Sometimes three. Sometimes it's been known for.

• 41:02Speaker 04

  No, I think that's too much.

• 41:03Speaker 02

  Probably as a dentist, a dentist was saying that, but I always brush them before I go out. People shower.

• 41:09Speaker 03

  If you're going out, yeah.

• 41:10Speaker 02

  People shower, I think, if I'm going to the pub, I'm gonna brush my teeth. And do you do your tongue?

• 41:14Speaker 03

  Yes, yeah.

• 41:15Speaker 02

  Do you floss?

• 41:18Speaker 02

  Very good.

• 41:18Speaker 03

  Thank you.

• 41:19Speaker 04

  You did a dance move.

• 41:21Speaker 03

  Thank you. Yeah, sometimes. I'm not asking for the flossing. I've got very tight teeth. I do.

• 41:28Speaker 02

  We should still floss.

• 41:30Speaker 03

  Yes, but I find it, it's very tight.

• 41:32Speaker 02

  You can get that water flosser now, the Dyson one.

• 41:34Speaker 03

  No, they've taken it off the market.

• 41:35Speaker 02

  Why?

• 41:36Speaker 03

  I'm told. Because they had such a backlash.

• 41:38Speaker 02

  Why?

• 41:40Speaker 03

  Because, because everyone was like, 400 quid for a toothbrush that is a flop. I'm fairly sure they took it off the market.

• 41:46Speaker 02

  No, it's not true.

• 41:47Speaker 03

  It's not true. It's still available. It's a great value for money.

• 41:49Speaker 02

  There you go.

• 41:51Speaker 03

  If you've got money to burn. This is from Peter. Hi, William and Jordan. I lost my mum suddenly and unexpectedly at the start of the year and I've decided I wanted something made with some of her ashes.

• 42:00Speaker 02

  Terrible.

• 42:01Speaker 03

  I'm not a big jewellery wearer, but wanted something I could wear all the time. So I've decided to go for a ring. However, this is where the etiquette dilemma comes in. What finger am I supposed to wear it on? I'm not married and I already wear a signet ring on my right hand finger. This was my dad's ring, which he passed on to me as a gift after I lost one I had got for my 18th. So I wouldn't want to replace it. So my question is, is there any etiquette around which fingers you should wear rings on? Thanks, Peter. No, I mean, it's only really, yes, signet, signet ring and.

• 42:30Speaker 02

  Didn't we? You could get ashes in a ring.

• 42:33Speaker 03

  Apparently, yeah.

• 42:33Speaker 02

  I'll get Frank's in there.

• 42:36Speaker 03

  Yeah, but hang on, Frank's was the family's dog.

• 42:38Speaker 02

  Yeah, but we've still got his ashes. Mum brings him around every Christmas.

• 42:41Speaker 03

  But what, what happens if, why should you get the ashes, not the whole family?

• 42:45Speaker 02

  Well, it's not going to be a big pot ring, is it?

• 42:49Speaker 03

  Well, I don't know how many ashes you need.

• 42:50Speaker 02

  Well, I didn't know you could get her. I might do that. Or is that a bit weird?

• 42:55Speaker 03

  What, does it have Frank on your finger?

• 42:57Speaker 02

  Yeah, the dog's ashes in. Bad enough if you're in a freezer.

• 43:01Speaker 03

  Um, no, I would say other than the, the, the sort of the, the wedding ring finger, which is also the engagement ring finger, that you wear it on whatever ring you want.

• 43:08Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 43:09Speaker 03

  Whatever thing you want. Maybe your, your fourth finger on your right hand would be a.

• 43:13Speaker 02

  Where are you meant to wear your, uh, signet rings? Mine's on the left.

• 43:16Speaker 03

  On your little finger. Generally on your left, yeah.

• 43:18Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 43:19Speaker 03

  Hmm.

• 43:19Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 43:20Speaker 03

  Yeah, that's fine. But lots of people, some people are more ringy than others and like loads of them.

• 43:26Speaker 02

  No, oh, yeah.

• 43:27Speaker 04

  Izzy's ringy.

• 43:28Speaker 02

  Look at Izzy.

• 43:28Speaker 03

  Look at, oh my gosh.

• 43:30Speaker 02

  Nick Ferrari.

• 43:31Speaker 03

  It's like a Peaky Blinders over there.

• 43:33Speaker 02

  You do. Nick Ferrari name drop has two signet rings.

• 43:38Speaker 03

  Does he?

• 43:38Speaker 02

  Next time you watch him, you'll see.

• 43:40Speaker 03

  So he's balanced?

• 43:41Speaker 02

  I don't.

• 43:42Speaker 03

  So he's balanced. I don't know. Well, maybe, I bet you one of them is his and one of them is a family heir. Ask him.

• 43:48Speaker 02

  I will, I will.

• 43:49Speaker 04

  On your signet ring, Jordan, do you have anything stamped onto it?

• 43:53Speaker 02

  No.

• 43:53Speaker 04

  Just plain. The speech, the sexted speech bubble would look quite nice on a signet ring.

• 43:58Speaker 02

  That's a great, no.

• 44:00Speaker 03

  My face.

• 44:02Speaker 02

  I want my family crest, but.

• 44:04Speaker 03

  But you're from Burnley.

• 44:06Speaker 02

  It would be your prison sign or something.

• 44:11Speaker 03

  Yeah, what's the prison service logo?

• 44:12Speaker 02

  Oh, could get a burnt, the old burnt.

• 44:14Speaker 03

  Oh my God, I haven't talked to you about my new addition.

• 44:17Speaker 02

  What?

• 44:18Speaker 03

  For my executive dining room. Did you not see it? I posted it on my, um, on my private thing.

• 44:24Speaker 02

  Oh, dude, you have those private stories as well.

• 44:27Speaker 03

  No, you're not on those.

• 44:29Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah. What's that?

• 44:30Speaker 03

  It's the royal crest.

• 44:32Speaker 02

  Ed, who got you that?

• 44:34Speaker 03

  I found it in an antique shop.

• 44:36Speaker 02

  Oh, put that, Joe, put that up on reel.

• 44:39Speaker 03

  Yeah. I found it. We're just having a discussion as to whether the royal warrant goes up. Well, it's not really a warrant, but it's more like it's the royal crest, D O E T Mondroy. Uh, excuse my nation. Um, whether it goes up in the dining room or it goes up in our bedroom.

• 44:54Speaker 02

  Um, dining room. Don't you have to be royal to have that?

• 44:57Speaker 03

  Yeah, but I found it and I thought lol.

• 44:59Speaker 02

  Um, okay.

• 45:00Speaker 03

  There's my key. Look, positioning it in between the sconces.

• 45:05Speaker 02

  Lamps.

• 45:06Speaker 03

  Sconces.

• 45:07Speaker 02

  They're lamps.

• 45:08Speaker 03

  Yes. On a wall is called a sconce. These, look at the pair of sconces.

• 45:13Speaker 02

  They're wall lights.

• 45:14Speaker 03

  They're sconces.

• 45:15Speaker 04

  No way to talk about me and Izzy.

• 45:17Speaker 02

  They're wall lights.

• 45:18Speaker 03

  They are correctly called a sconce.

• 45:21Speaker 02

  You're a sconce.

• 45:22Speaker 03

  You're a sconce. Takes one to know one.

• 45:26Speaker 03

  Joe?

• 45:28Speaker 02

  What?

• 45:30Speaker 03

  Could you please put at William Hanson's poll, wall light or sconce, which is correct?

• 45:34Speaker 02

  Do it like, Joe?

• 45:38Speaker 04

  Piss off. Says, that was a piss off.

• 45:41Speaker 03

  Right.

• 45:41Speaker 02

  Go back to your cheap chocolate, Joe.

• 45:43Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 45:45Speaker 04

  Right.

• 45:45Speaker 03

  You are going to die.

• 45:47Speaker 02

  People.

• 45:48Speaker 03

  Also, your pop is coming off.

• 45:49Speaker 02

  People think that I bully Joe. She bullies me. Sorry, Joe, I went too far. It's just, I did.

• 45:56Speaker 02

  She brought loads of chocolate.

• 45:57Speaker 04

  Jordan's just obviously bringing in M and S chocolate every week now.

• 45:59Speaker 02

  Joe, I'm showing off in front of Jean Devers. Sorry. She's gone quiet.

• 46:03Speaker 03

  Yeah, she's typing up her complaint to HR. Um, so Peter, in answer to your question.

• 46:08Speaker 02

  Love you, Joe.

• 46:09Speaker 03

  I would wear it on your fourth finger on your right hand. And finally, this is from anonymous.

• 46:13Speaker 02

  Finally?

• 46:14Speaker 03

  Yeah. This is from anonymous. Dear William Jordan and the Sex and Teen.

• 46:17Speaker 02

  Fun.

• 46:19Speaker 03

  A few years ago, I posed for an artist who wanted to sculpt me as part of a project he was working on. He then gave me a copy of the sculpture when it was finished. As an extra thank you, he also presented me with a painting of myself inspired by some of the reference photos taken during the process. In both pieces, I am nude with just a loincloth covering the necessary area. The sculpture is not instantly recognisable as me, so I have it on display in my home, but the painting is very obviously me, so I felt a bit weird about hanging it up where guests may see it. Because of this, it has been hidden away in a wardrobe until now. Looking at the painting, however, it is artistically well done, so the artist clearly put a lot of work into it. So it seems a shame to lock it away. So what is the etiquette for hanging a somewhat suggestive painting of yourself in your home? Looking forward to your reply. Laugh. Anonymous.

• 47:04Speaker 02

  I think it's very modern.

• 47:06Speaker 03

  It's, yeah.

• 47:07Speaker 02

  I think it would be pretty cool if you've got it.

• 47:08Speaker 03

  You've basically got to think, think of all, think of all your fa, think of your family. If, I don't know if your grandparents are still alive, anonymous, but if your granny came to, came around and saw it, what would she say? And if you're in anywhere uncomfortable, probably don't put it up.

• 47:22Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's pretty.

• 47:23Speaker 03

  But it's your home. It's your home, your rules.

• 47:25Speaker 02

  Yeah. Would you, would you ever do a sculptured thing? Would you ever be one of.

• 47:31Speaker 04

  Be sculpted.

• 47:32Speaker 03

  What?

• 47:32Speaker 02

  Be a life model.

• 47:33Speaker 03

  Be a life model?

• 47:34Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 47:34Speaker 03

  No.

• 47:35Speaker 02

  I, I, I wouldn't because I won't be able to sit still for that long. Imagine me having to sit still as people paint me, like when you're French girls.

• 47:44Speaker 03

  Hmm.

• 47:44Speaker 02

  You'd be good at that.

• 47:47Speaker 04

  Being a model.

• 47:47Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 47:48Speaker 03

  A model. Why did you say that?

• 47:51Speaker 02

  You'd be good.

• 47:52Speaker 03

  Thanks, Jordan.

• 47:53Speaker 02

  I'm William, I'll tripod over here. It'd be great.

• 47:58Speaker 02

  It was.

• 48:00Speaker 02

  They'd be like, when you walk in, like.

• 48:01Speaker 03

  Should we do that for Patreon?

• 48:04Speaker 02

  He'd walk in, he'd get his kets on, like, oh, I need another hour for this one.

• 48:09Speaker 02

  Only on the tip.

• 48:12Speaker 03

  I don't know what to say.

• 48:13Speaker 02

  Just the tip.

• 48:14Speaker 04

  We could do that.

• 48:15Speaker 02

  But you've heard that before.

• 48:18Speaker 02

  Go on, just a tip. Um.

• 48:23Speaker 03

  Are you finished?

• 48:23Speaker 02

  Yes. Remember, if you ever want to get in touch with us, you can send your tales of trepidation to [email protected] or you can DM us. We're at Sex and My Boss on the socials. And you can listen to new episodes every Tuesday and Friday or join us tomorrow for an exclusive Help High Sex and My Boss Out of Office episode over on Patreon.

• 48:40Speaker 03

  We'll see you then.

• 48:41Speaker 02

  See you later.

• 48:42Speaker 03

  Goodbye.

• 48:49Speaker 00

  Scaling your business doesn't have to mean endless meetings or repetitive training. With Camtasia Pro, teams can easily transform their expertise into engaging video content. No professional editing experience required. By combining screen recording, editing and AI-powered workflows into one simple solution, Camtasia Pro helps you train faster, onboard smarter and easily document critical processes. Get over $100 off your first year at camtasia pro.com and start building a smarter way to educate customers, onboard employees and ensure valuable expertise is shared across teams.

• 49:27Speaker 05

  You know you don't have to wait to shop Black Friday at Lowe's, right? Save up to $150 now and select power tools, equipment and accessories. Got gifts to get? We've got plenty under $50. Plus, MyLowe's Rewards members get same-day delivery for free. Shop Black Friday deals before the rush at Lowe's. Valid through 11/18, $25 minimum and loyalty membership required. Order eligible items by 2pm. Subject to weight and size restrictions and availability. Terms at lowe's.com/shippingterms.

• 49:56Speaker 05

  The Quarter Pounder with Cheese is made with 100% fresh beef, cooked when you order it. Add hot crispy fries and an ice cold Coke and hopefully a lot of napkins. All for $8. Ba da ba ba ba.