Has Jordan’s VOICE Changed?! | And Poppins Parody

Would you be cringed out listening to a version of yourself from nearly 10 years ago? Well that’s exactly the ordeal that Jordan was put through as we replayed moments from the first couple of series to see once and for all if he’s really changed. There’s time for a Mary Poppins spoof, your Sexted hardware stores and a rebuttal from a card-carrying Catholic. If you want to get involved you can email us mailto: [email protected]. You can follow us and DM on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/sextedmyboss/ and TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@sextedmyboss, and watch the latest episode every Tuesday and Friday on YouTube https://www.youtube.com/c/SextedMyBoss. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy https://acast.com/privacy for more information.

• 0:01Speaker 00

  William and Jordan will be with you in just a moment, but first, here's one for your queue. Vicky Patterson has taken on a huge charity challenge, getting from Newcastle to London by kayak, bike and on foot. Now she's on her podcast Get a Grip with a proper, honest, blisters and all debrief. If you need a nudge to step outside your comfort zone, then this is the one for you. Once this episode's done, search Get a Grip and get it playing.

• 0:31Speaker 01

  Hi everyone, it's Katie Couric. And on my podcast, Next Question, we love stories about how women are taking control of their lives. They are increasingly leading financial decisions in their households. Yet, many say they don't feel fully prepared for the long-term financial choices ahead. Real confidence comes from knowing your financial future is protected, whatever happens. Pacific Life has helped generations protect what matters today and prepare for tomorrow with life insurance and lifetime income solutions. It's a promise Pacific Life has kept for nearly 160 years, so its customers can keep theirs. Ask a financial

• 1:14Speaker 01

  professional about how Pacific Life can help you create a more confident financial future. Pacific Life Insurance Company, Omaha, Nebraska, and in New York, Pacific Life and Annuity, Phoenix, Arizona.

• 1:37Speaker 02

  Hello and welcome to our Friday episode, where we see how much extra content we can fit into your week.

• 1:43Speaker 00

  Are you looking down, for god's sake?

• 1:45Speaker 02

  How you can squ- right, William's wanted to know if I can remember the script.

• 1:49Speaker 00

  The answer is no.

• 1:50Speaker 02

  No. Where we can see how much extra content we can squeeze into your week. Random things that have been sent in, extra bits that have been going on, and how our advice went down with you, our wonderful G and D-ers.

• 2:01Speaker 00

  How are the dickens, are you?

• 2:02Speaker 02

  I'm good. How are you?

• 2:03Speaker 00

  Yes, what are you doing this weekend?

• 2:05Speaker 02

  I've got my brothers and the kids coming.

• 2:07Speaker 00

  Oh.

• 2:08Speaker 02

  Got a house full.

• 2:09Speaker 00

  Which brothers?

• 2:10Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:11Speaker 00

  Oh, so several brothers?

• 2:13Speaker 02

  I've got my two youngest brothers and they're bringing their kids.

• 2:16Speaker 00

  Oh god.

• 2:17Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:17Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 2:17Speaker 02

  So three under four.

• 2:21Speaker 02

  Great.

• 2:21Speaker 00

  There's no way to talk about your brothers?

• 2:22Speaker 02

  To be fair, it's more Brad's I'm worried about, because he-

• 2:25Speaker 00

  He's liability.

• 2:26Speaker 02

  Yeah. I've told you about the yogurt that you blamed on Lucas.

• 2:30Speaker 00

  Mm-hmm.

• 2:31Speaker 02

  But it was actually him. Got yogurt all over my settee, I can't get out. And now every time someone comes around and goes, "Who's up, Jizz?" No. My 30-year-old brother eating a frube on me velvet settee.

• 2:40Speaker 00

  Why were there frubes in the house?

• 2:42Speaker 02

  What?

• 2:42Speaker 00

  Oh, frubes to the kids, I guess.

• 2:44Speaker 02

  No, I always have frubes in. I love a frube. I've told you this. Do you know why? There's two things in my house, well, growing up, right?

• 2:52Speaker 00

  Hmm.

• 2:53Speaker 02

  No matter what, we didn't grow up in poverty or all that. I'm not gonna, you know, we never went we out. But no matter what time of day you got up, every towel was fucking soggy. So I make sure my towel rails are always on at a certain time, so that I have a warm towel every time I get out of the shower. It's 30, I'm 36, it's a luxury I have in my life, right? Also, I always make sure I've got frubes in my fridge, because my mum said they were too expensive when I were younger. And I only had frubes when I went to my mate's house. So now I always make sure I've got warm towels and frubes.

• 3:21Speaker 03

  That's like something out of a novel.

• 3:23Speaker 02

  It's a Dickens novel.

• 3:24Speaker 00

  There is your autobiography title, Warm Towel and Frubes.

• 3:28Speaker 02

  So I always have a, I always have a frube in the fridge.

• 3:30Speaker 03

  A bit fruby.

• 3:31Speaker 02

  Because I just sometimes I'll come in from work and just go.

• 3:34Speaker 00

  What's your favourite flick?

• 3:41Speaker 00

  There's a clip.

• 3:46Speaker 02

  Just clip that over out, any context.

• 3:48Speaker 03

  Down and one.

• 3:50Speaker 02

  Um, come on, what were you gonna say?

• 3:52Speaker 00

  I must get some.

• 3:53Speaker 02

  So there you go, I've got the kids coming around, and hopefully the weather's a bit nice, because it's turning, weather's turning, it's turning, I'm gonna do a barbecue.

• 3:59Speaker 00

  Oh.

• 4:00Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 4:00Speaker 00

  Make sure you have enough gas.

• 4:01Speaker 02

  Oh, you know what, I have. Oh, and I still owe you for that.

• 4:03Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 4:04Speaker 02

  Still not paid you.

• 4:05Speaker 00

  Well, if you run out of this stuff, I'm not coming to help you. In fact, I'll actually text your brothers going, "Don't offer to go to that little hardware store near where Jordan lives, because he'll never pay you back."

• 4:13Speaker 02

  Wendy's gonna go mad at me if she hears me saying we never had frubes in fridge. We didn't, we're a petty-falloo family.

• 4:20Speaker 00

  Well, that's posh.

• 4:21Speaker 02

  The little petty-falloo ones?

• 4:22Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 4:24Speaker 02

  Were they?

• 4:24Speaker 00

  I had petty-falloo.

• 4:25Speaker 02

  Tiny then. I used to lick-

• 4:28Speaker 03

  We found the one similarity between-

• 4:29Speaker 02

  I used to just lick them whole. What am I doing? I used to lick them all. I didn't even use a spoon for them. I'd just get my tongue right in and lick them out.

• 4:37Speaker 03

  That's, that's where you learn the technique.

• 4:43Speaker 02

  Anyway.

• 4:43Speaker 00

  Hmm. What was your favourite flavour? Chocolates?

• 4:46Speaker 02

  No, it was pink strawberry. They do a banana vanilla one as well, doesn't they?

• 4:53Speaker 02

  First thinking.

• 4:57Speaker 02

  What are you giving me now, Ben?

• 4:59Speaker 00

  Ben's got a filthy mind.

• 5:00Speaker 02

  Okay. Um, what are you doing?

• 5:02Speaker 00

  Letting himself down.

• 5:03Speaker 02

  What are you doing this weekend? What Soho bar are you frequenting?

• 5:08Speaker 00

  No, I've got a dinner in town on Friday, and then I'm going to Bristol, because it's my cousin's 30th birthday. So I'm gonna go and celebrate there.

• 5:16Speaker 02

  Oh, okay.

• 5:17Speaker 00

  Yeah. So I'm afraid Soho will have to just let itself. I did, actually, last week, in fact, at time of recording last night, I went and met some of the beep beep beep beep lot for cast drinks, because a few of them were leaving. And-

• 5:29Speaker 02

  You can't go to Titanic drinks anymore. It's like when Ricky Gervais always turns up David Brent in the office.

• 5:36Speaker 00

  I was invited.

• 5:37Speaker 02

  You don't work there anymore.

• 5:38Speaker 00

  No, and I was a bit unsure as to whether I should go, but a few of them insisted that I come. I came, went, whatever the verb is. And, um, I don't know whether I'm coming or going. And-

• 5:51Speaker 03

  He had a frube.

• 5:53Speaker 00

  I did not. And anyway, the barman at Sophie's, the bar that we have talked about previously, and I have not been to for six weeks, five weeks, looked delighted that I turned up.

• 6:04Speaker 02

  Oh.

• 6:04Speaker 00

  You could see the profits going back up.

• 6:07Speaker 02

  I bet.

• 6:07Speaker 00

  It's great.

• 6:09Speaker 02

  Oh, well, have a, have a lovely weekend.

• 6:11Speaker 00

  Thank you so much, you too. And maybe what you should do with your sofas is just put a sort of a rug down on all the sofas.

• 6:16Speaker 02

  Gonna get that plastic.

• 6:17Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 6:17Speaker 02

  Thingy, yeah, that they have. Everyone who loves Raymond.

• 6:20Speaker 00

  Get them wrapped like a suitcase at the airport.

• 6:22Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 6:23Speaker 00

  You could just get them protectively wrapped.

• 6:24Speaker 02

  It's not just that, where his, where his leg, my brother bless him, he leaves like eight foot toddler marks. You know toddlers leave, stay in there. He puts his hands on old poles to get by.

• 6:34Speaker 00

  Gosh.

• 6:35Speaker 02

  I'm gonna give a little mitt in a sore, but yeah. What have we got today, then?

• 6:38Speaker 00

  In a recent episode, I said I wanted to produce a segment for this podcast to find out, Jordan, if your northern accent has disappeared. Well, not disappeared, I think I softened since the start of the podcast. So naturally, the team and I have been digging through the sexed archives and found some Jordan gems from the first couple of series.

• 6:57Speaker 02

  Oh, I can't do this.

• 6:59Speaker 00

  You did say, the first 10 episodes we recorded, you were quite, quote unquote, heavily on piss.

• 7:06Speaker 02

  I were heavily, and at the time of recording, I'm still.

• 7:10Speaker 00

  What's changed?

• 7:10Speaker 02

  No, I'm over.

• 7:12Speaker 00

  Maybe this is gonna go in your favour. This is gonna go in your favour and you're going to, because you think you haven't changed.

• 7:16Speaker 02

  Do you want me to like, northern it up or just do it how I do it normally?

• 7:19Speaker 00

  You do it how you do it normally. So you're going to read out some lines that you said back then, and then we'll play the original clips to see how different you sound now. So basically, we're investigating whether you're still northern, or whether your London life has completely knocked it out of you.

• 7:34Speaker 02

  I don't know if I can do it. I can't listen back. I can't listen back.

• 7:37Speaker 00

  Well, you're gonna have to.

• 7:38Speaker 02

  Not that I'm ashamed, or I'll, it's just-

• 7:40Speaker 00

  Or you can always take your ear out, and then you won't hear it.

• 7:42Speaker 02

  No, I don't like listening back. Right, so what's the first one? Right. Like, what do you do if your first date orders spaghetti bolognese? What's wrong with that? Or who gets the dog after a breakup? And of course, what should you do if you've sexted your boss?

• 7:57Speaker 00

  And now here's clip one.

• 7:59Speaker 02

  Like, what do you do if your first date orders spaghetti bolognese? What's wrong with that? Or who gets the dog after a breakup? And of course, what should you do if you've sexted your boss?

• 8:09Speaker 00

  It's quite high pitched, actually.

• 8:12Speaker 02

  I don't think there's that much difference, do you? Do you?

• 8:16Speaker 00

  Well, maybe we'll do a second line. We'll say it, and then we'll immediately afterwards play the clip.

• 8:20Speaker 02

  Okay. When we got upstairs, he went, "Would you like a drink or anything?" I went, "No, you're all right. I've had a brew and a butty on train." And you know when you say something and think, "Why did I say that?" When we got upstairs, he went, "Would you like a drink or anything?" I went, "No, you're all right. I've had a brew and a butty on train." And you know when you say something, you think, "Why did I say that?"

• 8:37Speaker 00

  Gosh, you're speaking very quickly, aren't you?

• 8:38Speaker 02

  See, I think it's also because we're in a better studio now, better microphones.

• 8:43Speaker 00

  Oh yeah, blame the tools.

• 8:44Speaker 02

  Yeah. I remember that. I was talking about my first meeting at Radio One. Yes, I remember that.

• 8:49Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 8:49Speaker 02

  It'd be like, I went, "You're all right. I've had a brew and a butty on train."

• 8:53Speaker 00

  Uh, all right, third line.

• 8:55Speaker 02

  Sounds like a sex move. We did the Bellagio last night. There's piss everywhere.

• 9:00Speaker 00

  Here's the clip.

• 9:01Speaker 02

  God, I'm funny. I am funny. I'd listen to this.

• 9:06Speaker 00

  So let's, we need to do this properly. Say it again, and then we'll have the clip.

• 9:09Speaker 02

  Sounds like a sex move. We did the Bellag- what is it?

• 9:12Speaker 00

  Bellagio.

• 9:13Speaker 02

  Bellagio last night. There's piss everywhere.

• 9:16Speaker 00

  Clip.

• 9:17Speaker 02

  Sounds like a sex move. We did the Bellagio last night. There's piss everywhere.

• 9:23Speaker 00

  I do, I do. Your voice should sound so much higher.

• 9:26Speaker 02

  It's raspier.

• 9:27Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 9:28Speaker 02

  Because I-

• 9:28Speaker 00

  It's all those fags.

• 9:29Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 9:30Speaker 00

  Hmm.

• 9:30Speaker 02

  Yeah. I don't think I sound that different, but we'll put it, we'll put it out there.

• 9:34Speaker 00

  Do a Jordan North poll.

• 9:36Speaker 02

  Yeah, we'll do a Jordan North poll. I don't think there's much difference. I think my voice is raspier.

• 9:41Speaker 00

  Hmm.

• 9:42Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 9:42Speaker 00

  Higher pitched.

• 9:43Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 9:43Speaker 00

  Well, back then, yeah.

• 9:44Speaker 02

  How long ago was that? About 14 years ago?

• 9:45Speaker 00

  Forty? We've not been doing this year, this podcast, darling. I know sometimes it feels like it. For 14 years, we've been doing it for eight.

• 9:53Speaker 02

  Is that it?

• 9:55Speaker 00

  Well, we made a big song and dance about doing it for eight years.

• 9:57Speaker 02

  I don't think I sound that different.

• 9:58Speaker 03

  Well, we can leave that to the Jordan North poll.

• 10:00Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 10:00Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 10:01Speaker 03

  But there is also an option to see if Willie has changed as well. I've popped, I've popped one line in the script, so if you could read that, and then we'll hear the clip.

• 10:08Speaker 00

  Okay. "He popped his cheese twist out below the table, and it turned out I was quite peckish." "He popped his cheese twist out below the table, and it turned out I was quite peckish." I'm quite high pitched as well. I've, oh, haven't I got sexy?

• 10:23Speaker 02

  Recording.

• 10:24Speaker 00

  Hmm. No, I don't know if it is. I think your voice is higher as this you're older.

• 10:28Speaker 02

  We sound like we're having the best time there, and I really hope it still does now, because you can just hear that, you know, as like a geek that I am. We sound like genuinely mates having a laugh. I still hope eight years later that comes across, because I don't say this enough, I bloody love doing this every week with you all.

• 10:47Speaker 00

  I bloody love doing it too.

• 10:48Speaker 02

  But there, it's giving me goosebumps. I've not heard that for years. It sounds, it sounds like-

• 10:53Speaker 00

  Go and listen to some old episodes.

• 10:54Speaker 02

  Play it again, play it again. I might listen. It sounds like we're genuinely, listen to me giggling in background. Just listen. "He popped his cheese twist out below the table."

• 11:03Speaker 00

  And it turned out I was quite peckish.

• 11:07Speaker 02

  Bless us.

• 11:08Speaker 00

  I'd love to know what the context of that dilemma was.

• 11:10Speaker 03

  If you're enjoying them, I've got one more. I just found like one more clip that you don't need to read any lines for.

• 11:14Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 11:14Speaker 03

  You'd enjoy it. So here's, here's one little bonus clip that Jordan can get teary to.

• 11:19Speaker 00

  Right. Are you ready for your G and D?

• 11:20Speaker 02

  I'm always ready for a G and D, my local G and D.

• 11:23Speaker 00

  Could you pass me the D?

• 11:27Speaker 02

  Do you know what that means?

• 11:28Speaker 00

  No.

• 11:31Speaker 02

  If I said to you, do you want me to give you some D?

• 11:34Speaker 00

  Yeah, I, I want it.

• 11:35Speaker 02

  No.

• 11:40Speaker 00

  I remember that. It's the first time I realised what D meant in the non-debonne context. I mean, now we do hold song and dance routines about D.

• 11:47Speaker 02

  And we've done, named a tour after that joke.

• 11:49Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, we flogged it to death.

• 11:51Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 11:52Speaker 00

  Bring on the D.

• 11:52Speaker 02

  Oh, that was nice.

• 11:54Speaker 00

  That is nice.

• 11:55Speaker 02

  Eight years.

• 11:56Speaker 00

  I would say, I remember when Steve Wright died and they were playing lots of archive recordings.

• 12:00Speaker 02

  Well, when I go, don't play any of this.

• 12:04Speaker 00

  And his voice sounded higher from sort of, you know, the seventies and the eighties. So I, I do think it, there is something in your voice deepens as you get older.

• 12:11Speaker 02

  Oh, is it?

• 12:12Speaker 00

  I think, I think it's probably scientific, certainly male.

• 12:14Speaker 02

  I think it's the mics and stuff and the recording. Don't forget it's, what's it called? When it's squashed down.

• 12:22Speaker 00

  Compression.

• 12:22Speaker 02

  Compression. Yeah. Anyway.

• 12:24Speaker 00

  Works in radio.

• 12:27Speaker 02

  What are we doing next?

• 12:28Speaker 00

  Right. Jordan, we've talked about it already this episode. You ran out of gas at a barbecue you did for all of us so recently. So naturally you obviously sent me out to go and get the gas. In fact, there is now a WhatsApp group between the four of us that went to go and get the gas called the Gas Gays.

• 12:44Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 12:45Speaker 00

  So that's now become a thing. Luckily, a local hardware store saved the day for you. So we asked the G and D was if Sexted had a hardware store, what would it be called?

• 12:55Speaker 02

  Love this. Love stuff like this. Go on.

• 12:57Speaker 00

  Andy, great. I mean, this, this, this could be a collab, said, help, I sexted my Bosch.

• 13:04Speaker 02

  The drill.

• 13:05Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 13:05Speaker 02

  Bosch.

• 13:05Speaker 00

  Or household appliances. Morris, William Hammers and Jordan Nuts. Sound names of the weekends.

• 13:12Speaker 02

  Oh.

• 13:14Speaker 00

  Martha, Cock and North.

• 13:16Speaker 02

  I don't get that.

• 13:17Speaker 00

  I don't get that. No, but Martha said, God bless her, she had fun on her own.

• 13:26Speaker 00

  Anne, my cousin, suggested, help, I screwed my Bosch. Lovely.

• 13:32Speaker 02

  That's good.

• 13:33Speaker 00

  Yeah, I'm freelance. SLM suggested, Willie and Jordan's big hard shop. Come in, get screwed, leave happy.

• 13:40Speaker 02

  That's great.

• 13:41Speaker 00

  I love that.

• 13:41Speaker 02

  That should be our motto. Come in, get screwed, leave happy.

• 13:44Speaker 00

  Yes. Rob, thick as wood.

• 13:47Speaker 02

  Thick as two planks.

• 13:48Speaker 00

  That'd be my shop.

• 13:49Speaker 02

  That would be mine. Thick as two planks.

• 13:51Speaker 00

  Yes. Mike, drill me daddy. Wow. Nick, nuts, bolts and bottoms.

• 14:01Speaker 00

  Kels, plumber and dumber.

• 14:08Speaker 00

  Teagan, nail and finish. And Mrs. Shaley, stud finder, guaranteed to find the perfect fit for any tight space. I think my favourite is plumber and dumber because we laugh the most.

• 14:20Speaker 02

  Yeah, I think we'll go for plumber and dumber.

• 14:22Speaker 00

  Help, I sexted my Bosch is very funny.

• 14:24Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 14:25Speaker 00

  But plumber and dumber is going to be our.

• 14:28Speaker 02

  Honorable mentions, help, I sexted my Bosch and nuts, bolts and bottoms.

• 14:32Speaker 00

  I love it. We've got more of your emails, messages and letters after the break.

• 14:40Speaker 01

  Hi everyone, it's Katie Couric and on my podcast, Next Question, we love stories about how women are taking control of their lives. They are increasingly leading financial decisions in their households, yet many say they don't feel fully prepared for the long term financial choices ahead. Real confidence comes from knowing your financial future is protected, whatever happens. Pacific Life has helped generations protect what matters today and prepare for tomorrow with life insurance and lifetime income solutions. It's a promise Pacific Life has kept for nearly 160 years, so its customers can keep theirs. Ask a financial

• 15:23Speaker 01

  professional about how Pacific Life can help you create a more confident financial future. Pacific Life Insurance Company, Omaha, Nebraska, and in New York, Pacific Life and Annuity, Phoenix, Arizona.

• 15:41Speaker 02

  All right, G and D'Vas, thanks for sticking with us. What have we got next, please? Willie?

• 15:44Speaker 00

  Well, Katie has got in touch after listening to a recent episode where Jordan changed the lyrics to the Mary Poppins classic, A Spoonful of Sugar. She says, hi guys, I just listened to today's podcast on X-rated film puns and enjoyed William's disgust at Mary Poppins. Does he know there's already a gay parody song to the tune of Spoonful of Sugar? I feel like there needs to be a live reaction to this on the podcast.

• 16:06Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah. What, there's already a clip?

• 16:08Speaker 00

  Well, of, of a similar gay parody.

• 16:10Speaker 02

  We should do it.

• 16:11Speaker 00

  I have probably seen it because if, I mean, God bless, I, I love everyone. I love everyone. If there's anything about Mary, I will say this is my own fault. If there's anything about Mary Poppins on the internet, I am sent it.

• 16:22Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 16:22Speaker 00

  So I have probably seen this. Let's have a listen.

• 16:30Speaker 04

  When I was just a lad, I learned that anal sex was bad. The church said it was a dirty wad and sin.

• 16:39Speaker 02

  That's great.

• 16:39Speaker 04

  And I learned from other guys that no matter what the size, there's a simple trick to help you take that tick.

• 16:50Speaker 04

  Just a quick sniff of poppers helps a penis slide right in.

• 16:56Speaker 02

  Brilliant.

• 16:57Speaker 04

  The penis slides right in. You can take it with a grin. Just a quick sniff of poppers helps the penis slide right in.

• 17:05Speaker 00

  Of course he's learnt it.

• 17:11Speaker 02

  That was brilliant.

• 17:13Speaker 00

  Never, ever, ever, ever, ever working with Disney ever again, aren't we?

• 17:17Speaker 02

  A sniff, what is it? Just a sniff of the poppers makes a cock slide in. See, we, we really need to do a Mary Poppins parody.

• 17:25Speaker 00

  No, we don't.

• 17:26Speaker 02

  Yeah, we do.

• 17:26Speaker 00

  No.

• 17:27Speaker 02

  Maybe we'll do a Christmas panto episode of it.

• 17:29Speaker 00

  Not on Mary Poppins.

• 17:30Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 17:30Speaker 00

  No, we'll do Toy Story.

• 17:32Speaker 02

  Me and Jack will write that.

• 17:33Speaker 00

  Sex Story Five.

• 17:36Speaker 02

  No.

• 17:38Speaker 00

  Sex Toy Story Five.

• 17:40Speaker 02

  Well, um.

• 17:40Speaker 00

  Sex and Toy Story Five.

• 17:42Speaker 02

  Katie, thank you for bringing that to our attention.

• 17:45Speaker 00

  Sex Toy Story Five Inches. That's what we'll do.

• 17:48Speaker 02

  Right, it's still going.

• 17:51Speaker 02

  Anymore?

• 17:51Speaker 00

  I can go for a long time.

• 17:54Speaker 02

  More than five inches.

• 17:55Speaker 00

  Oh, yeah. Phoebe's has written in with a revelation that she's a fellow pegger. Hi, William and Jordan. As a new listener, I've recently retired, so I now have time on my side. I was surprised to learn that my husband and I partake in pegging, which one of your listeners shared with you on one of your recent shows. I said to my husband, ah, did you know what we do is called pegging? To which he responded, yes, how did you know? So I told him I'd heard it on your podcast. I think he was shocked as I'm quite naive, but still sexy and adventurous. As a pegger, I do however have OCD when it comes to pegging washing out on the line. Maybe it is an old fashioned thing to do, but I find it so satisfying to see a line full of washing pegged with matching colour pegs per item, with clothes in matching groups, t-shirts, trousers, pants, socks and pillowcases. William, is there

• 18:40Speaker 00

  an etiquette for hanging washing on your line? Yours always Phoebe's. Well, I'm not convinced.

• 18:44Speaker 02

  Right. Does Phoebe's, is Phoebe's confused here? Does she think pegging that?

• 18:51Speaker 02

  Does she think she's putting the washing out or?

• 18:53Speaker 00

  That is a type of pegging.

• 18:54Speaker 02

  Is it?

• 18:55Speaker 00

  You peg out.

• 18:55Speaker 02

  Or does she shag her husband with a dildo up his arse? A strap on, I believe. Phoebe's, we, we, you might have got your wires crossed there. Get back in touch, love. Bless you because you've just retired. So I'm, I'm thinking it might be the latter, but can you just clarify whether?

• 19:11Speaker 00

  Or she might do both.

• 19:13Speaker 02

  Whether you, you, pegging you think means washing your, putting your clothes out.

• 19:19Speaker 00

  On the washing.

• 19:19Speaker 02

  And using certain pegs. Or do you shag your husband with a strap on in his arse? That's no.

• 19:26Speaker 00

  In terms of the etiquette for the washing on the line, I would say if, unless you're not overlooked, if you are overlooked by other houses, I would put your underwear inside and then all the other stuff in front of it. So people aren't looking at you, aren't looking at your underwear. That's what I would suggest. Archibald, if you've got a whirly gig, that is, if you've obviously just got one line, you can't really do that.

• 19:47Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 19:48Speaker 00

  Archibald has got.

• 19:49Speaker 02

  Is that real name Archibald? So what Archie's short for?

• 19:52Speaker 00

  Can be.

• 19:53Speaker 02

  Well, what else is it short for?

• 19:57Speaker 00

  Oh, oh, I don't know. I'm sure it's short for something else as well.

• 20:00Speaker 02

  Is it like Jack's short for John? Is it one of them weird ones?

• 20:03Speaker 00

  No.

• 20:03Speaker 02

  Still blows my mind that Bill's short for William.

• 20:06Speaker 00

  What?

• 20:07Speaker 02

  Bill.

• 20:07Speaker 00

  Yeah, well, I know that.

• 20:08Speaker 02

  I worked with a lad for years called Billy.

• 20:12Speaker 00

  Bill Twinton is William Twinton.

• 20:13Speaker 02

  Yeah, I know. And I, and then I sent.

• 20:15Speaker 00

  Bill Bryson, William Bryson.

• 20:16Speaker 02

  I sent a letter to him. I said, who's William? He says, it's me. I said, no, it's not. You're Billy. He says, yeah, that's my real name.

• 20:22Speaker 00

  Billy Elliot's, William Elliot's.

• 20:24Speaker 02

  Never. That's fucking weird.

• 20:27Speaker 02

  My friend Billy had a 10 foot willy and he showed it to the woman next door. She thought it was a snake, so she hit it with a rake and now it's only two foot four.

• 20:34Speaker 00

  Lovely. Is that Shakespeare?

• 20:36Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 20:37Speaker 00

  Anyway, Archibald has gotten back in touch to thank us for giving his literary efforts their moment in the spotlight. Dear William, Jordan and the team, I just wanted to send a note of sincere thanks for reading out my letter on the X-rated film puns episode of Sexted. It was generally lovely surprise to hear it read out and I was particularly pleased to hear that you both seemed to enjoy the various witticisms contained therein. I'm always rather fond of a well-turned phrase and I do enjoy putting pen to paper, so to speak, when inspiration strikes. I should also say that I've been an avid listener from the very beginning, so it was an absolute delight to hear my own contribution make its way onto the podcast. I've also been fortunate enough to attend each of your live shows, Bristol two years ago and Cardiff this year, dragging my wife both times to see you both,

• 21:19Speaker 00

  and both of which were tremendous fun. It's been rather lovely to follow the podcast from its beginnings and then to have the opportunity to enjoy it in person as well.

• 21:27Speaker 02

  Thank you.

• 21:27Speaker 00

  Thank you for indulging my literary efforts and for giving the letter such an entertaining moment on the podcast. Keep up the great podcast, darlings. Kind regards, Archibald Beaufort Hexley. Lovely. Well, I'm glad.

• 21:39Speaker 02

  What a lovely letter, Archibald.

• 21:40Speaker 00

  Lovely letter. You're very, you're very welcome.

• 21:42Speaker 02

  That's very sweet.

• 21:43Speaker 00

  And I'm glad we've put a smile on your face and thank you for listening for all that time.

• 21:46Speaker 02

  And thank you for coming to see us live.

• 21:48Speaker 00

  Do you think Jordan's voice has changed? Let us know, Archibald, write in for a third time. No, that sounds, that's, sorry, that sounds really, that sounds really sarcastic. I didn't mean that.

• 21:56Speaker 02

  I thought you were being sarcastic.

• 21:57Speaker 00

  I know. What?

• 21:58Speaker 02

  I thought you were being sarcastic.

• 21:59Speaker 00

  No, I wasn't. No, no, no. Jackson has written in from Australia to firmly dispute Jordan's claims about limp Catholic handshakes. Dear William and Jordan, I'm writing in response to Jordan's recent handshakes that Catholics are known for having weak handshakes.

• 22:12Speaker 02

  I don't know where I've heard this and I hope it wasn't derogatory.

• 22:16Speaker 00

  As a fully practising card carrying Catholic, I must firmly reject this allegation. I have a strong grip and I am more than capable of wrapping my hand around another man's and giving it several competent pumps.

• 22:28Speaker 00

  That's the Catholics. Frankly.

• 22:33Speaker 00

  Frankly, Catholics have plenty of experience in this area. He says the same. Every Sunday, we are encouraged to turn to the people around us and offer them the sign of peace. That is weekly handshake training. There should be no limp offerings in the house of the Lord. I'm more than happy to provide hands-on proof. Should you ever visit Australia, Jordan, may personally experience my firm Catholic drip. William can supervise to ensure the experiment is conducted with appropriate etiquette, full consent, and no excessive pumping. Until then, please consider this myth officially debunked. Catholics may occasionally be guilting of holding on too tightly, but we certainly know how to make a strong first impression. Yours firmly, Jackson. P.S. If Jordan's handshake is weak, perhaps he simply needs to receive the sacrament of formation.

• 23:15Speaker 02

  I know where I got that from. It's a Peter Kay sketch or something. I think he did it on a talk show and he said, "He's Catholic", something like that. I can remember vaguely. And Peter Kay's Catholic, as far as I know.

• 23:25Speaker 00

  Oh, is he?

• 23:26Speaker 02

  So I just said off the cuff that Catholics have, we have strong grips.

• 23:30Speaker 00

  She's not here because she's at Mass, but we actually discovered that Izzy actually is Catholic. There was me thinking it was joking and Izzy then shared photos with us of her-

• 23:41Speaker 02

  Confirmation.

• 23:42Speaker 00

  Her confirmation. A young Izzy and a confirmation certificate.

• 23:45Speaker 02

  Oh, if they knew.

• 23:48Speaker 00

  So I think in future, I'm not going to write to His Holiness. I'm going to go to Izzy for all Catholic matters.

• 23:55Speaker 02

  All Catholic matters.

• 23:59Speaker 00

  And Izzy, if you're listening, when you come back, what is the Catholic Church's official position on the contraception being used for the rats in the United States of America in New York City? I'd like to know.

• 24:10Speaker 02

  Yeah, I did say, "Poor Izzy, she's not here to defend herself, but never had a down as Catholic."

• 24:15Speaker 00

  No. Betty has written in after a very exciting G and Diva sighting in the wild. Hello. Oh, wow. "I was recently staying at a relative's house while doing some work experience in London. I'm originally from Clitheroe."

• 24:28Speaker 02

  Where is he from?

• 24:29Speaker 00

  "I hope that gets her reaction in the studio. Not today. She's on her knee."

• 24:32Speaker 02

  Clever.

• 24:33Speaker 00

  "I was walking along Broadway Market with a friend."

• 24:37Speaker 02

  Fuck. She's going to have to sign that one off.

• 24:42Speaker 00

  "I was walking along Broadway Market with a friend, trying to decide where to get food from."

• 24:51Speaker 02

  We just clarified, she's a very good friend.

• 24:53Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 24:54Speaker 02

  She sleeps over at your house at least twice a week these days. Jealous.

• 24:58Speaker 00

  What, of her or of me?

• 25:00Speaker 02

  Of her. I wanted to stay at my house. She's the most fun person.

• 25:04Speaker 00

  Yeah, she is. "I was walking along Broadway Market with a friend, trying to decide where to get food from. We slowed down to have a closer look at one particular restaurant when I noticed a little whippet sat beside a couple. I smiled. Oh, that looks a bit like Diego. I didn't say anything to my friend. I looked up at the couple. OMG, is that producer Ben?

• 25:22Speaker 02

  No!

• 25:22Speaker 00

  That looks like producer Ben. And is that Kat? Nobody knows. I gra- even Ben's forgotten what she looks like. I grabbed my friend and quickened my pace."

• 25:31Speaker 02

  You're just going out there today, aren't you?

• 25:33Speaker 00

  "I grabbed my friend and quickened my pace because I didn't want them to see me fangirling. Then I looked back to make sure. OMG, it's producer Ben, Kat and Diego. I'm freaking out to my friend, who has absolutely no idea who I'm talking about, because sadly, she's not a G and Diva. I explained the podcast to her and she immediately says, 'Quick, let's go back and speak to them.' I said, 'No, I can't.' So here I am. I wish I had said hello now, but I just couldn't bear to interrupt what looked like a very cutesy date. I hope you had a lovely time, Ben, Kat and Diego. Next time, I promise I won't run away. Thank you to everyone at Sexist for making such a wonderful podcast from one very loyal listener, Betty."

• 26:09Speaker 02

  Did, was that you? Was you in Clitheroe?

• 26:13Speaker 00

  No, they were visiting from further east.

• 26:14Speaker 03

  They were in East London.

• 26:15Speaker 02

  Oh.

• 26:16Speaker 03

  But the idea of me, Kat and Diego all being together at once does seem very suspect, so I'm not sure that that happened.

• 26:21Speaker 00

  That is like the shiny Pikachu.

• 26:23Speaker 02

  I don't know whether I'm coming or going, George. I don't know. He's lucky enough to meet for one week. They've just got back off holiday or festival or summit. I was in the kennels, I was next door, bought one, I was down the road. I don't know. I've never seen the pair of them, George. Just abandoned. It's all right when they got me in lockdown, when they wanted me all the time. Now I'm just a bloody nuisance. Now I'm just in the way.

• 26:44Speaker 03

  That's not true. The joke is that Kat's not around. It's not that Diego's not around.

• 26:48Speaker 02

  Oh, you shut up. When are you feeding me anyway? I'm starving.

• 26:51Speaker 03

  Kat and Diego are on their way here right now, so you might, for the, I genuinely don't know the last time you saw that Kat, me and Diego in the same room, you two.

• 26:59Speaker 00

  I think it's going to be Mirage.

• 27:00Speaker 03

  Probably back in January or February.

• 27:02Speaker 02

  Can confirm.

• 27:04Speaker 00

  This is Jordan's impression of Kat.

• 27:05Speaker 02

  This lady is not for turning.

• 27:08Speaker 00

  Not for turning up.

• 27:12Speaker 02

  I have been in the same room as Ben once this month.

• 27:20Speaker 00

  Socialism dies. Thanks, Kat. Thank you, Kat. Look forward to seeing you in a minute.

• 27:25Speaker 03

  I got spotted, I got spotted in the Tate Modern by a lovely boy called Will.

• 27:29Speaker 02

  Will?

• 27:30Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 27:31Speaker 00

  How did it go?

• 27:32Speaker 03

  Lovely young chap.

• 27:33Speaker 00

  What were you looking at at the time?

• 27:34Speaker 03

  I was walking down the stairs and he stopped me on the middle of this, a very busy stairwell. Asked for a picture.

• 27:40Speaker 02

  What are you doing in Tate Modern?

• 27:41Speaker 03

  I was looking at Frida Kahlo. I'll have you know.

• 27:44Speaker 02

  Who's he?

• 27:45Speaker 00

  She.

• 27:45Speaker 03

  Brilliant.

• 27:47Speaker 02

  Who's Frida Kahlo?

• 27:48Speaker 00

  The, with the monobrow.

• 27:50Speaker 03

  The Mexican artist.

• 27:51Speaker 00

  The Mexican artist.

• 27:52Speaker 03

  I've got a big poster of her face.

• 27:53Speaker 02

  Don't they do wind jackets? Not a sailing make?

• 27:56Speaker 03

  What?

• 27:56Speaker 02

  Frida Kahlo?

• 27:57Speaker 00

  No.

• 27:58Speaker 02

  They do wind jackets, don't they?

• 27:59Speaker 00

  No, they don't.

• 28:00Speaker 02

  Oh, I'm thinking of Hallie Hansen.

• 28:06Speaker 00

  Stupid boy.

• 28:07Speaker 02

  I'm thinking of Hallie Hansen. Anyway, right. Frida Kahlo and does she?

• 28:18Speaker 02

  I'm going to be so happy.

• 28:19Speaker 00

  Yeah, good.

• 28:21Speaker 02

  Right, let's finish with our comment of the week. This can be a comment from Spotify, YouTube or any of our socials.

• 28:26Speaker 00

  Firstly, Hells on Spotify said, "William, you need to put Daddy's Sauce on the sausage. Have you all learned nothing from Bag of Chips, the drag queen? I'm a vegetarian, so I do not indulge in that kind of sausage, but I know things. Yeah, I would try a bag of sausage again if it was warm and there was a bit of sauce. And it was, I could actually also have seen the fish and chip shop it came from because it needs to be a nice one."

• 28:46Speaker 02

  I don't mind Daddy's Sauce.

• 28:52Speaker 00

  This episode, you are absolutely on one.

• 28:55Speaker 02

  I don't mind Daddy's Sauce, but I think I prefer HP. But I would take Daddy's Sauce if it had to. I'd bear Daddy's Sauce on sausage is quite nice.

• 29:08Speaker 02

  Oh, I really want a sausage sandwich now with brown sauce.

• 29:12Speaker 00

  Sam Lion on Spotify said, "Please, Jordan, can you review William's book for the covering?" Oh, "Please, Jordan, can your review of William's book for the cover just be Riveting?"

• 29:21Speaker 02

  Riveting. Is that what you said at Tate Modern? Yeah. When you go to anywhere and you feel a bit out of place, go, hmm, Riveting.

• 29:27Speaker 00

  No, but I, the thing is, Jordan, Riveting is not-

• 29:30Speaker 02

  I'm just going to put Riveting. That's going to be mine.

• 29:32Speaker 00

  The publisher can always reject it.

• 29:33Speaker 02

  Well, they might not. I'm just going to put Riveting. That'll be, that is, do you know what? That should, that for me is comment of the week, Sam Lion. Riveting.

• 29:43Speaker 00

  Well-

• 29:44Speaker 02

  Because you know I'm being sarky.

• 29:46Speaker 00

  Our comment of the week goes to SVJ02, who hit back at the comment from Pauline Oxley on YouTube saying, "Bloody hell, I'm going to stop offering workman tea or coffee", to which they responded, "I'm going to start."

• 30:04Speaker 02

  That's great.

• 30:05Speaker 00

  I've got the window clearly coming on Wednesday.

• 30:07Speaker 02

  Is that true, by the way? Did we get to the bottom of that?

• 30:10Speaker 00

  No, it's not. I have offered tradesman things for years.

• 30:15Speaker 02

  I bet you have.

• 30:16Speaker 00

  Nothing, no, it is not a thing. You should, and actually from an etiquette point of view, if you've got someone doing work in your house, yes, do you make them a drink? Several. Give them a little tray of biscuits as well or something.

• 30:27Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 30:27Speaker 03

  Yeah, well, I did actually listen to an episode of one of my favourite podcasts called Strange on a Bench, where they interview random people. And one of them was a tradie and his stories were just like, you'd go in houses all the time and have illicit affairs with the, with the housewives.

• 30:41Speaker 00

  Really?

• 30:41Speaker 03

  All the time. And he was like, "Brother laddie." Yeah, I'll try and pick out, I'll try and find the episode. I was, it was stunning.

• 30:50Speaker 02

  So it does all go on?

• 30:51Speaker 03

  It was riveting.

• 30:52Speaker 02

  Riveting?

• 30:52Speaker 00

  Yeah. Lovely.

• 30:54Speaker 02

  Bonking.

• 30:57Speaker 00

  You're not putting that on my book.

• 30:58Speaker 02

  Bonking. Sounds like the most Boris Johnson word out, don't it?

• 31:02Speaker 00

  Bon- bonking.

• 31:03Speaker 03

  Right, Kat's here, sorry about that.

• 31:05Speaker 02

  Remember, you can listen to new episodes every Tuesday, Friday and 24 hours before anywhere else on Global Player. If you want to get in touch about something that isn't a dilemma or a problem, drop into our DMs or send us an email to [email protected]. We also love hearing back from the people we offer advice to, so if that's you, get back in touch and we'll speak to you on Tuesday.

• 31:22Speaker 00

  Goodbye.

• 31:22Speaker 02

  Bye-bye.

• 31:30Speaker 01

  Hi, everyone. It's Katie Couric. And on my podcast, Next Question, we love stories about how women are taking control of their lives. They are increasingly leading financial decisions in their households. Yet, many say they don't feel fully prepared for the long-term financial choices ahead. Real confidence comes from knowing your financial future is protected, whatever happens. Pacific Life has helped generations protect what matters today and prepare for tomorrow with life insurance and lifetime income solutions. It's a promise Pacific Life has kept for nearly 160 years, so its customers can keep theirs.

• 32:12Speaker 01

  Ask a financial professional about how Pacific Life can help you create a more confident financial future. Pacific Life Insurance Company, Omaha, Nebraska, and in New York, Pacific Life and Annuity, Phoenix, Arizona.