Pod Insights Help I Sexted My Boss The Beef With Wendi Continues | And Jordan’s New Aroma About this episode William just doesn’t know when to stop and is ready to pour more fuel on the fire for his beef with Wendi. But how will she react to his latest slander? Meanwhile, Jump Cut Jack has noticed a nostalgic aroma from Jordan that was meant to be a compliment, but in reality went down like a smelly lead balloon.
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Transcript 0:01 Speaker 00 Hello, I'm Joanna Fletcher.
0:03 Speaker 01 And I'm Marco Burchella.
0:04 Speaker 00 And this is Boots Off.
0:07 Speaker 01 We are friends who have spent a decade together, walking up mountains, across deserts and along coastlines with some seriously awesome groups of humans.
0:15 Speaker 00 And something happens when you're out there, feet on the ground, surrounded by nature. The conversations just spill out of you.
0:22 Speaker 01 This series is about the adversities that lead to adventure.
0:25 Speaker 00 The adventures that lead to adversity.
0:27 Speaker 01 And how life can be one big adventure in itself.
0:30 Speaker 00 Listen every Thursday, just search for Boots Off.
0:43 Speaker 02 Hello and welcome to our Friday episode, where we see how much extra content we can squeeze into a week. Random things that have been sent in, extra bits that have been going on, and how our advice went down with you, our wonderful Jean Divas. Well, I was looking forward to the weekend. Just said before the start of that recording from Jump Cup Jack. You know, you remind me of my grandparents. I was like, oh, how lovely.
1:03 Speaker 03 Is it because of the grays?
1:04 Speaker 02 No, it's because you smell of coffee and cigarettes. Cheers.
1:08 Speaker 03 It went in a nice way. It reminded me of being a child, nostalgic.
1:11 Speaker 02 But coffee and, is that what I smell like?
1:13 Speaker 03 We do actually smell like coffee and cigarettes.
1:15 Speaker 02 Do I?
1:17 Speaker 02 Do I actually?
1:17 Speaker 03 You do. But I think that's like a, they sell candles like that.
1:21 Speaker 02 That's a horrible smell. Oh, to be fair, they have to share it. Oh, ours is called Jazz Club and that's like brandy and cigars.
1:28 Speaker 03 Well, there we go. Maybe that's why I need, need some of that.
1:30 Speaker 02 Coffee and cigarettes? How, is that what my aroma is?
1:34 Speaker 03 It was when I was just next to you a minute ago, yeah.
1:37 Speaker 02 But I've not had a coffee or a flag for about two hours.
1:39 Speaker 03 Jordan, it was about an hour ago.
1:41 Speaker 02 Was it?
1:41 Speaker 03 Yeah.
1:43 Speaker 02 Oh, we better hurry up, I'll need another one soon. It's better be a quick recording. Coffee, I mean, coffee.
1:47 Speaker 03 Yeah.
1:48 Speaker 02 Do I smell of coffee and cigarettes?
1:49 Speaker 03 Don't get a complex about it.
1:51 Speaker 02 Well, no, I am. Cheers, Jack. But I'm glad I reminded you of your grandparents. How are you? How's your weekend? What have you got coming up?
1:57 Speaker 03 Um, I can't mention what I've got coming.
1:59 Speaker 02 You can mention it. You can mention it, do it.
2:01 Speaker 03 And working.
2:02 Speaker 02 In what?
2:03 Speaker 03 A show.
2:04 Speaker 02 What show?
2:05 Speaker 03 Title A.
2:08 Speaker 03 James, don't you join in?
2:10 Speaker 02 Have you not got, James went to see it, said it was great.
2:13 Speaker 03 James hasn't seen it yet.
2:14 Speaker 02 Oh, he's going to see it, aren't you?
2:15 Speaker 03 Coming to see it with a team outing.
2:16 Speaker 02 Do you not get a day up? What do you do on Sunday when you wake up then?
2:19 Speaker 03 Two shows.
2:20 Speaker 02 What time do you get there?
2:21 Speaker 03 Uh, I get in on a Sunday for one.
2:24 Speaker 02 Wow.
2:25 Speaker 03 I leave the building at 10.
2:26 Speaker 02 What time do you get up?
2:28 Speaker 03 Uh, well, last weekend, we were performing at Western Live in Trafalgar Square, so I had to get up extra early. So we did three shows in effect last Sunday. Uh, this Sunday, I should be getting up probably about nine.
2:38 Speaker 02 Okay.
2:39 Speaker 03 Which is quite nice, you know, a little posher around.
2:41 Speaker 02 I'm usually up for half eight, nine, unless I'm rough.
2:45 Speaker 03 Yeah.
2:45 Speaker 02 I, last weekend, you know, you've had a good night, I had to get up, get straight on train because I thought I was going to miss train. I had to brush my teeth at Preston train station gentleman's toilets.
2:55 Speaker 03 Hang on, so you went all that way without?
2:57 Speaker 02 I like getting back early on a Sunday because I'm old now. So I'm like, right, I don't want to waste day. I want to get back on Sunday so I can have rest of day to myself. So I rushed up, didn't even shower and then got to, I thought I've not brushed my teeth. I had to brush my teeth in toilets at Preston train station.
3:10 Speaker 03 Did you have to, you had your teeth brushed with you?
3:11 Speaker 02 Yeah, of course, I had my bag with me.
3:13 Speaker 03 You don't leave a few toiletries up at your mum and dad?
3:15 Speaker 02 God, no, I never get them back. Not with mum and dad, we're brothers. She said that, she said, and she said in Spain, she went, do you know what to do? Bring a load of suitcase of stuff over. You can just leave it here. So when you come and go, you don't have to pack a case. You can just go on my hand luggage. I thought that's a great idea. So I went, took a load of stuff, can never seen it since. The only time I've seen one is my brother came down to visit me. I went, is that my top? They went, no. I went, you've nicked that from me mum's. So, yeah.
3:39 Speaker 03 Gosh, well, it all goes on. And you're going to the wedding, aren't you?
3:42 Speaker 02 Yeah, I've got a wedding this weekend.
3:43 Speaker 03 What are, what are you doing on the other day? Or is it a two day?
3:46 Speaker 02 So, no, no, get straight back.
3:48 Speaker 03 Okay, where is it?
3:50 Speaker 02 Crewe.
3:50 Speaker 03 Crewe?
3:51 Speaker 02 Crewe way, I think, yeah. So I'm gonna head straight back. You like, you like, you like your own bed. You know, like what old people say, you can't beat your own bed. You want comfort at your own home. Gonna go home and get curtains drawn, get settled. You know, that kind of thing.
4:04 Speaker 03 Okay, lovely.
4:05 Speaker 02 I do, I just want to get home these days, beat me house.
4:08 Speaker 03 Blessed you. And on the Sunday, what are you doing?
4:10 Speaker 02 Uh, I'll probably be chilling and watching, uh, Narrow Escapes or something like that, that I'm now obsessed with, my new obsession.
4:18 Speaker 03 Lovely.
4:18 Speaker 02 Narrow Escapes, nice bit of telly, finish Clarkson's Farm.
4:21 Speaker 03 Oh, we've got two episodes left.
4:23 Speaker 02 Have you watched, uh, Thingy yet?
4:25 Speaker 03 You have to be, what?
4:26 Speaker 02 Tiptoe.
4:27 Speaker 03 No.
4:27 Speaker 02 I want to watch that.
4:28 Speaker 03 I'm hardly in. I, I, it's on my list to watch.
4:32 Speaker 02 You were oddly in before.
4:33 Speaker 03 Yeah, but I'm really, really not in now.
4:35 Speaker 02 Okay, when you get home after your show, what do you do? How does a West End actor wind down?
4:40 Speaker 03 Sometimes I might order some food. If I'm, if I haven't had my burrito and I'm hungry, I might order something. But generally I don't. Uh, I just pot around the house, just do some, like, no, no screens. So I don't look at my phone, don't watch TV. I maybe put a podcast on, do a bit of tidying and just potter for a bit. Maybe just sit on the sofa, be at one.
5:02 Speaker 02 See, I'd have a broom, watch a bit of shit telly at that time.
5:04 Speaker 03 No, I can't do a screen.
5:05 Speaker 02 No, why?
5:06 Speaker 03 That would, that would, because that would wake me up.
5:08 Speaker 02 I'd be stimulated.
5:09 Speaker 03 Some days I can go to bed half an hour after I get in. Other times, a couple of hours I'm awake.
5:12 Speaker 02 Fair enough.
5:13 Speaker 03 Yeah.
5:14 Speaker 02 All right, what we got then, let's get into it.
5:15 Speaker 03 Well, you, Jordan, recently mentioned in an episode that you're worried about that your grandmother might be watching you from heaven during personal moments.
5:22 Speaker 02 Am I obsessed with my dead grandmother? Because I did nearly cry on Tuesday's episode.
5:28 Speaker 03 Well, um, we asked our Jane Devers what they wouldn't want their dead relatives to see them doing. Um, we've got some lovely wholesome answers like this from Jasmine. My mum passed away almost four years ago. When I get frustrated with my children, as all parents do now and again, I always think if my mum is watching me now, she will not be happy with how I'm being with her grandchildren. And it actually helps me take a breath and remember that they're just little children with big feelings, which we really all are.
5:52 Speaker 02 Hmm.
5:52 Speaker 03 That's lovely. Some responses, however, perhaps predictably, were a little less charming. Anonymous wouldn't want their dead relatives to see them slagging off what they didn't leave them in their will.
6:03 Speaker 02 See, I know where I am with that because none of my family's got any money. So we're right, like, it'd be fine.
6:09 Speaker 03 Hmm.
6:10 Speaker 02 So it just takes that out of it.
6:12 Speaker 03 Yeah, makes it easy.
6:13 Speaker 02 So it does, like, I know people that fight over wills and inheritance.
6:17 Speaker 03 Is there anything of Wendy's that you, that you would love, like a particular thing for it to leave you?
6:21 Speaker 02 Great question.
6:23 Speaker 03 Any of the live, laugh, love signs?
6:27 Speaker 02 I'm starting the beef again.
6:31 Speaker 02 I actually took a picture when I was there.
6:33 Speaker 03 I'm saying no lies.
6:35 Speaker 02 Of some other signs.
6:38 Speaker 03 A house is not a home without something or other.
6:40 Speaker 02 No, actually.
6:42 Speaker 03 I love cooking with wine. Sometimes I put it in the food.
6:47 Speaker 02 Family. Today's little moments become tomorrow's precious memories.
6:50 Speaker 03 Oh, fucking hell.
6:51 Speaker 02 Excuse me. Be nice. And never trust a skinny cook. Thought it was good. And then wash your hands, you filthy animal.
7:02 Speaker 03 Okay, that's fair enough.
7:03 Speaker 02 That was in there. So, yeah.
7:05 Speaker 03 Well, that's cute.
7:06 Speaker 02 What would I want from my mum's?
7:10 Speaker 02 Don't know, because if I like said a dress or perfume, it's a bit.
7:13 Speaker 03 Well, no, because my mother has talked about she's going to, obviously, because she's got two, two boys, just about. But she's leaving.
7:19 Speaker 02 You're not getting out.
7:20 Speaker 03 She's leaving her rings, but she said that what we can do, whatever we can, I think, give them to anyone with, you know, James gets a girlfriend.
7:28 Speaker 02 Bit Norman Bates, though, isn't it? If you keep her dresses and stuff.
7:30 Speaker 03 Yeah, they're, they're all going.
7:32 Speaker 02 Mother's death.
7:33 Speaker 03 The rings, or she said you could, you can make people's rings like into like necklaces, or you can repurpose or. Brooches.
7:41 Speaker 02 I'll have a bed. Is that weird?
7:43 Speaker 03 That is weird, Jordan.
7:44 Speaker 02 She's got a Tempa mattress bed. She loves telling me about it. She molds to your arse. It's great. Sometimes can't get up. It molds right round to your arse. It's ri- them Tempa.
7:56 Speaker 03 Just like Graham.
7:57 Speaker 02 Debbie, you want to honestly invest in it. Always spend good money on your shoes, your bed. I've always said that. But I might take a bed, but that'd be weird.
8:03 Speaker 03 That would be weird. I'd get your own mattress.
8:05 Speaker 02 She's got a good kettle.
8:08 Speaker 02 She's got a new settee, so probably take that.
8:12 Speaker 03 Well, lovely.
8:13 Speaker 02 Oh, no. Do you know what? I'd take a blow up bed. It was good.
8:16 Speaker 03 Jordan, you don't need a blow up bed, for God's sake. I'll buy you a blow up bed.
8:19 Speaker 02 What can I take from my mum's that's gonna bug me?
8:23 Speaker 03 If you sit there, blow out of bed with that, be like, oh, that really reminds me of mum.
8:26 Speaker 02 Yeah, weird, isn't it? Well, a couple of her mugs, she's got good mugs, and she's got a good fridge magnet collection. So maybe that.
8:33 Speaker 03 Oh, so I think fridge magnets are fine, that's sweet. Little, little mementos that, you know, may not be worth anything, but have sentimental value. I think that's really sweet. Han wouldn't want them to see their stuff being sold on Vinted before the flowers have even died. Well, Han, I would leave that a bit.
8:50 Speaker 02 You can send flowers on, you can sell flowers on Vinted.
8:53 Speaker 03 No, no, as in, so person dies and you start selling their stuff before, you know, the body's cold, basically.
9:02 Speaker 02 I ain't got time for that. There's the stuff I should sell, but thought of uploading it and I'm waiting for people to come around to collect it.
9:09 Speaker 03 You don't have people come around to collect it, I'm sorry.
9:11 Speaker 02 What do you do? Send it?
9:12 Speaker 03 You put it in an in-post locker, or use raw mail, or DPD.
9:17 Speaker 02 If you've got time for that, I admire it. Sean's always doing it.
9:19 Speaker 03 Yeah, but she doesn't have people come around to, I mean, I've never spoken to her about it, but I'm going to
9:22 Speaker 02 Yeah, you're right.
9:23 Speaker 03 Bet a lot of money she does not have people come around to her house to get stuff.
9:26 Speaker 02 You look like a man, Jack, who's Vinted and eBayed all that.
9:29 Speaker 03 Yeah.
9:30 Speaker 02 Yeah.
9:30 Speaker 03 I sold quite a few bits. I think it's quite easy. You might have someone come around when you're looking for a new top, but other than that.
9:38 Speaker 03 Faith wouldn't want them to watch them trying to park a car. That's niche.
9:42 Speaker 02 Yeah, that's fair.
9:43 Speaker 03 Chess, the musical, said, my dad was a maths genius.
9:47 Speaker 02 And he called you chess? Of course he did.
9:50 Speaker 03 I know. The other sibling's called Snakes and Ladders. I know his ghost shudders when I use a calculator for simple sums.
9:56 Speaker 02 I was thinking that when I use a calculator.
9:59 Speaker 03 Oh, and of course, we did have some grubby answers because, of course, our GNDs can be filthy. Dominic said shaving my pubes off.
10:05 Speaker 02 It's quite undignified shaving your pubes in general.
10:08 Speaker 03 There's no way to do it nicely.
10:09 Speaker 02 You've got like one leg cocked up, one dustpan and brush, like, nah. You've got to prep.
10:16 Speaker 02 And then, yeah.
10:17 Speaker 03 Dustpan and brush?
10:19 Speaker 02 Well, yeah, to get all the little bits.
10:21 Speaker 03 Okay. Jamie said, I wouldn't want them over my shoulders seeing my grinder chat.
10:25 Speaker 02 Fair.
10:26 Speaker 03 Amy said she wouldn't want ghosts watching them check the loo paper when you wipe your arse after a poo. I've changed, changed words in that. Sarah said, I wear my grandma's wedding ring. I always think about that after I've had casual sex.
10:43 Speaker 03 That's weird.
10:44 Speaker 02 Could be worse, could be. You know.
10:47 Speaker 03 What?
10:48 Speaker 02 She could be pleasuring oneself with this ring finger.
10:51 Speaker 03 Yeah, she could, and she could be. Uh, Rob said, my mum asked me if I wanted to get a tattoo with my nan and grandad's ashes in the ink.
10:59 Speaker 02 That's a thing.
11:00 Speaker 03 Feel physically ill.
11:01 Speaker 02 You can actually get them, mate.
11:03 Speaker 03 I said that would be horrible. When I'm having sex, they'd literally be on me.
11:06 Speaker 02 Yeah.
11:07 Speaker 03 I mean, I just think it's weird.
11:08 Speaker 02 Yeah, I agree. No, actually.
11:11 Speaker 03 No, that's weird.
11:12 Speaker 02 What about, people have it in a little locket and stuff.
11:14 Speaker 03 Less weird, because you can remove it.
11:16 Speaker 02 Frank's ashes came out at the 60th. We had a little toast to him.
11:22 Speaker 03 It's a bit macabre.
11:25 Speaker 03 Frank, for any new listeners, is Jordan's family dog that died two, three years ago.
11:29 Speaker 02 Two years ago, no. And. Ashes came out, we passed them round. In God. You think I make stuff up, I promise you we did.
11:38 Speaker 03 Do you keep the ashes in the freezer as well?
11:40 Speaker 02 I might give that to me mum. No, ashes.
11:42 Speaker 03 No, it's part of the set.
11:44 Speaker 02 Can I, I actually might give her that.
11:46 Speaker 03 Well, can we replace it with something?
11:48 Speaker 02 Hmm.
11:48 Speaker 03 Because otherwise, there'll be a big gap.
11:50 Speaker 02 I'll say, do you want this? And then I'll take that off when she dies.
11:54 Speaker 03 It doesn't say live, laugh, laugh, she won't be interested.
12:01 Speaker 00 Hello, I'm Joanna Fletcher.
12:03 Speaker 01 And I'm Marco Bortella.
12:04 Speaker 00 And this is Boots Off.
12:08 Speaker 01 We are friends who've spent a decade together, walking up mountains, across deserts and along coastlines with some seriously awesome groups of humans.
12:16 Speaker 00 And something happens when you're out there, feet on the ground, surrounded by nature. The conversations just spill out of you.
12:22 Speaker 01 This series is about the adversities that lead to adventure.
12:25 Speaker 00 The adventures that lead to adversity.
12:27 Speaker 01 And how life can be one big adventure in itself.
12:30 Speaker 00 Listen every Thursday, just search for Boots Off.
12:39 Speaker 03 Or my favourite, breathe. I don't know if she has that, but people have signs saying breathe or just love.
12:45 Speaker 02 She doesn't have live, laugh, love signs. She actually doesn't.
12:49 Speaker 03 Jordan, Jordan, we filmed her for tour. There's a live, laugh, love sign as the opening shot.
12:55 Speaker 02 Is there actually?
12:56 Speaker 03 Yes.
12:57 Speaker 02 Is there? She doesn't have live, laugh, love. It's just your stereotype.
13:00 Speaker 03 She did, she did in March.
13:02 Speaker 02 Did she? She might have had love.
13:04 Speaker 03 I'm absolutely convinced it said live, laugh, love.
13:06 Speaker 02 Did it? Ah, fine. Okay, fair enough.
13:09 Speaker 03 Because my, uh, what was filmed at my mother's was a plate from the Golden Jubilee.
13:14 Speaker 02 Of course.
13:15 Speaker 03 Yeah, so I remember, I remember the two. We also had a dilemma from someone who went to a wedding that the bride left early. So we wondered what events our G and D was had left early. Andrew did an Irish exit from their own work leaving.
13:27 Speaker 02 I like a little Irish exit, but I don't, I think it's more.
13:30 Speaker 03 I think it's rude.
13:31 Speaker 02 I don't, I think to go back, to go at a party, especially at a wedding, say goodbye to the bride and groom and everyone else. Main character energy. No one's bothered. Just leave.
13:41 Speaker 03 No. Uh, Sarah accidentally left their 21st early as they got so drunk, they went to the loo and fell asleep.
13:48 Speaker 02 Yes.
13:48 Speaker 03 Okay, that was unintentional. Tricia's daughter Lindsay put herself to bed during her third birthday party. Oh my God, that's so cute.
13:54 Speaker 02 That's.
13:55 Speaker 03 That is so cute. Um, Lorna said, it wasn't me, but one of the participants had to leave my group fitness class early to get to Greg's before the breakfast meal deal ended. I suppose it's all about balance and.
14:05 Speaker 02 I would be the same.
14:05 Speaker 03 Can I just say that is so Lorna? She's, she said it's not her. That's absolutely.
14:11 Speaker 02 Yeah, that was absolutely.
14:12 Speaker 03 Lorna, we can see past that.
14:13 Speaker 02 And that is what I do. If I woke up and knew my head that I'm getting breakfast and it was shut in, so I want to go on holiday, I'm like, I have to. I can't miss breakfast. If it's in my head, if I know I'm having a Mackie's breakfast, I'm like, no, I'd leave early as well.
14:27 Speaker 03 Alyssa left a work party early only to realise they were getting an award. Oh, yeah.
14:33 Speaker 02 Yeah, that's bad.
14:34 Speaker 03 Um, Nicola left a work party early to spend the night bonking.
14:37 Speaker 02 I hate that word.
14:38 Speaker 03 Seven times.
14:39 Speaker 02 Seven times?
14:40 Speaker 03 Wow, Nicola, good on you.
14:42 Speaker 02 Oh, can we ban bonking on any letters? If anyone writes in bonking, just say shagging, having sex.
14:47 Speaker 03 Yeah, what words do you find appropriate for that?
14:50 Speaker 02 Shagging.
14:51 Speaker 03 Shagging? See, I don't like shagging.
14:53 Speaker 02 Having sex? Fucking's a bit too strong, isn't it?
14:57 Speaker 03 Yeah.
14:57 Speaker 02 But bonking.
14:58 Speaker 03 How about making love?
14:59 Speaker 02 Making love? Shagging.
15:01 Speaker 03 Hmm, okay.
15:03 Speaker 02 Getting intimate, getting down and dirty, that's fine.
15:06 Speaker 03 Getting down and moderately clean is generally how I prefer to do it.
15:10 Speaker 02 Have a roll around.
15:12 Speaker 03 Hmm.
15:12 Speaker 02 That's what a mate said to me, proper Essex. He went, I actually said to him, I went, you're perky today, you've got a smile on your face. He went, oh, we hadn't, won't say your name, we had a roll around last night. I was like, all right.
15:26 Speaker 03 Hmm.
15:27 Speaker 02 Apparently you had sex.
15:28 Speaker 03 Ah, yes, I got it. A friend of mine at, um, boarding school would refer to it as, uh, boot polishing, because they were in the CCF, the like, the sort of funny little silly little pretend army thing they do. And, um, you obviously have to polish your boots as you do in the military and all that. And so they'd come around to another friend's and go, do you want me to polish your boots? That was code.
15:52 Speaker 02 To wank it off?
15:54 Speaker 03 It's more than that, but yeah, hmm.
15:56 Speaker 02 Fucking hell, I went on, didn't it?
15:58 Speaker 03 Anyway, that was definitely a friend. We'll have, uh, more of your emails, messages unless it's after the break.
16:05 Speaker 02 All right then, William Hanson, what have we got for our responses on our Friday episode, please, my love?
16:10 Speaker 03 Just wanted to make perfectly clear, I was not in the CCF, not officially, anyway.
16:14 Speaker 02 Was you on the receiving end of a boot polishing?
16:17 Speaker 03 Emeris has got in touch after hearing last week's.
16:21 Speaker 02 The polishing the boots?
16:22 Speaker 03 Hmm. Uh, yeah. Emeris has got in touch after hearing last week's dilemma regarding pup play. Oh, good, we're going back to that. Afternoon, boys. I'm the current Mr. Fetish Gran Canaria.
16:34 Speaker 03 And my partner Flash is the current Mr Puppy Grand Canaria. So I got quite excited when you mentioned the Yumbo Centre and more specifically Knoxon. Funnily enough, this is probably the third or fourth time you've mentioned that bar and every time you've mentioned it, it's always linked with a urine-related etiquette question. On this last Tuesday's episode, you discussed the dilemma about urinating inside someone. Completely agree with you two, this is absolutely not allowed without consent and the person who did it should have been reported to the bar staff. Although darkroom etiquette does exist, just because someone is in a sling does not mean they're into water sports. Never assume and always ask for consent before getting frisky. Lots of love. Emrs. P.S. William, you were absolutely amazing in Titanic.
17:15 Speaker 02 What were you gonna say else then? You're absolutely amazing in the darkroom. Let us know when you're next here.
17:22 Speaker 03 William, you're absolutely amazing in Titanic and so lovely at the stage door. Thank you. And Jordan, you smashed your role as the garden gnome.
17:28 Speaker 02 Oh bless you, Emrs. Emrs.
17:30 Speaker 03 Emrs, yes. I am desperate to see Toy Story 5, but obviously I don't have a lot of free time at the moment. But I was wondering, can you or maybe your dad get me like a copy of it?
17:42 Speaker 02 No!
17:42 Speaker 03 What?
17:43 Speaker 02 No, a legal one.
17:44 Speaker 03 Just, or illegal.
17:46 Speaker 02 It'll be out on telly next year, I suppose. Go and see it.
17:49 Speaker 03 I don't wanna work out, I don't wanna wait next year.
17:51 Speaker 02 Go and see it. A lot of people DM me saying, "You've got more lines in it than what I thought."
17:56 Speaker 03 And how many lines do you have?
17:57 Speaker 02 Quite a few.
17:58 Speaker 03 Yeah, but like, can we quantify that?
18:00 Speaker 02 Four, five.
18:01 Speaker 03 Okay, and how many does Shaun have?
18:04 Speaker 02 Similar.
18:04 Speaker 03 Okay. I'm excited to see it, genuinely, because I loved, I mean, I mean, obviously bonus that you're in it, but I do actually pretty like the Toy Story films.
18:14 Speaker 02 So do I.
18:15 Speaker 03 Yeah, I know, I know. There was, I wasn't going to do a joke off the back of that.
18:18 Speaker 02 I never know, will you?
18:19 Speaker 03 Han has some insight regarding the etiquette of overtaking hearse's. Dear William and Jordan, in a recent episode, you spoke about hearse's on motorways. I'm a funeral director and yes, hearse's and family cars, the Cortège, travel on all sorts of roads. We are recommended to go 10 miles below the speed limit of the road, but it's totally normal for cars to overtake us on dual carriageways or motorways. Please don't try to overtake or cut the Cortège on a normal road, though. Han.
18:42 Speaker 02 That's what I say. That's what I said.
18:44 Speaker 03 It's a single lane.
18:45 Speaker 02 Don't try and overtake.
18:47 Speaker 03 No, because then you're in the middle of it.
18:49 Speaker 02 I know.
18:49 Speaker 03 And that's just silly and disrespectful. Um, John has messaged in after hearing us discuss escalator etiquette. Morning, I've just been listening to one of your recent episodes and there was a chat about why we stand on the right on the escalator on the underground. It isn't actually to do with swords, but the design of early escalators. I love this. The escalator had a shunt, which refers to the
19:11 Speaker 02 Beg your pardon?
19:12 Speaker 03 Shunt, which refers to the diagonal partition mechanism used on the very first London Underground escalators installed at Earl's Court in 1911.
19:20 Speaker 02 Oh, that's
19:21 Speaker 03 Just after seven o'clock. The escalator steps disappeared beneath this partition at the top, physically shoving or shunting passengers off the stairs and forcing them to step off to the left. This historical mechanical feature dictates modern TFL etiquette. The shunt heavily influenced the way the London Underground network functions today. Stand on the right, walk on the left. Because the original 1911 shunt forced passengers to awkwardly exit to the left, passengers walking up the moving staircase naturally congregated on the left to avoid cutting across disembarking riders.
19:49 Speaker 02 That's interesting.
19:51 Speaker 03 Now, we know John, little John's etiquetteology of the week. I love it. Um, and Jen has messaged in after learning some surprising information from our podcast. Hi, team Sexton. I only recently found your podcast and have been doing a deep dive back on YouTube to catch up. So when I opened up YouTube on my board to a full class of pupils and the first suggested video for me was titled William Loves Dick. This prompted a lot of giggles
20:16 Speaker 02 Oh, no.
20:17 Speaker 03 And inappropriate questions.
20:18 Speaker 02 Just be careful.
20:20 Speaker 03 Thought you might appreciate this story. Thank you for making me cry with laughter these few weeks. From Jen, the embarrassed and flustered teacher from Glasgow.
20:26 Speaker 02 Oh, it's Glasgow, they'll be used to that, kids.
20:28 Speaker 03 I should clarify, I wasn't planning on showing them an episode, it was for educational purposes.
20:32 Speaker 02 Well, yeah, don't show this in any classes. In Glasgow, you'd be fine.
20:36 Speaker 03 Yeah.
20:36 Speaker 02 But don't show
20:38 Speaker 03 This is key stage one in Glasgow.
20:39 Speaker 02 Don't show any.
20:42 Speaker 03 It's probably not. Do they do key stages in Scotland?
20:44 Speaker 02 Don't be horrible. I'll take it too far.
20:46 Speaker 03 No, no, no, no. I said they might have a different educational. I wasn't doing that. I was, jeez, they might do a whole, you know, like they do different exams and.
20:52 Speaker 02 I'm gonna say it. My favourite place we go to on tour. Glasgow.
20:56 Speaker 03 Is it?
20:57 Speaker 02 Probably, yeah. It's always a laugh.
20:59 Speaker 03 Yeah, I prefer Edinburgh.
21:00 Speaker 02 That moment when you canny kick a granny off a bus came on. I don't know about you, but I suppose it was like when you first walked out into the West End. I felt like I knew my audience.
21:12 Speaker 03 Glasgow would definitely team Jordan.
21:14 Speaker 02 Yeah. They were, Jack.
21:15 Speaker 03 And do you know what? I'm fine with that.
21:17 Speaker 02 Edinburgh would be team William.
21:19 Speaker 03 Hmm.
21:19 Speaker 02 Wouldn't they?
21:20 Speaker 03 Well, I might do Edinburgh next year.
21:21 Speaker 02 Livingston would be.
21:23 Speaker 03 Ben.
21:24 Speaker 02 Yeah.
21:25 Speaker 03 No.
21:26 Speaker 02 Yeah.
21:27 Speaker 03 He'd be the Outer Hebrides.
21:28 Speaker 02 Mm-hmm.
21:28 Speaker 03 Not a lot going on.
21:30 Speaker 02 Let's finish. Where is he, by the way? On holiday.
21:34 Speaker 03 Is he not here?
21:34 Speaker 02 Yeah, well, no, whereabouts? Is he in the Hebridibijers, what they're called?
21:38 Speaker 03 In the what? The Outer Hebridibiders?
21:40 Speaker 02 Where's the Hebridibid, what are they called?
21:42 Speaker 03 The Outer Hebrides are in Scotland.
21:44 Speaker 02 Ah.
21:44 Speaker 03 But he's not there.
21:45 Speaker 02 Okay. Let's finish with our comment of the week.
21:47 Speaker 03 All right.
21:47 Speaker 02 This can be a comment from Spotify, YouTube or any of our socials.
21:52 Speaker 03 The honourable mentions go to Sigourney, who said, Jordan is a hundred percent.
21:55 Speaker 02 Weaver? Crowds hardly know her. She's a D and D, Sigourney Weaver.
22:02 Speaker 03 Yeah, she is. Yeah. Jordan is a hundred percent right about that spoilt, entitled little witch, aka Peppa Pig. She turned my child into a demon and she was very quickly banned from my house slash TV.
22:13 Speaker 02 Can I just say we had a massive discussion, legal discussion in our WhatsApp group.
22:16 Speaker 03 Well, it wasn't legal because no lawyers were involved.
22:18 Speaker 02 Well, I was like, this was a joke, saying that the show's problematic. And I was like, are we gonna get sued here?
22:25 Speaker 03 Um, Helen said, it took me a while to warm to it, but I love the new set now. Honestly, it's just a big change.
22:31 Speaker 02 Oh, Christ.
22:32 Speaker 03 Jordan, don't be a bitch.
22:34 Speaker 02 So I'm not, Helen, sorry, just. Carry on.
22:38 Speaker 03 It's just a big change and change can be hard to adjust to. Give everyone a chance and people will warm to it. Try not to take comments to heart. In a few years' time, if you change it again, everyone will be sad to lose this one.
22:47 Speaker 02 Exactly. We, we said, we could have spent millions on this set and people still would.
22:52 Speaker 03 And trust us, we didn't.
22:53 Speaker 02 And look, you're speaking to someone here who is the king of hates change, Ask Jack. So like, I, I get it. I get it. I hate change as well.
23:03 Speaker 03 Um, and our comment of the week goes to RJ, who said, Jordan's saying, just put me in a coffin in the church before everyone arrives. It'll be the first time he's early for something.
23:13 Speaker 02 That's a fair point.
23:14 Speaker 03 That is a fair point.
23:14 Speaker 02 But I'm only saying to me, you'll be late to your own funeral.
23:17 Speaker 03 Well, and you will be.
23:18 Speaker 02 Hmm.
23:18 Speaker 03 Yeah. Bless you. Although you never, you want to, what does my father always used to say? Better to be late in this life than early in the next.
23:25 Speaker 02 That's sweet.
23:26 Speaker 03 It's nice, isn't it?
23:28 Speaker 02 You, you grew up with your dad saying that and yet you treat me like shite every time I'm late.
23:32 Speaker 03 I don't treat you like shite.
23:34 Speaker 02 It's not the stuff you say, it's more your actions and just how.
23:38 Speaker 03 Oh, it's all coming out now, isn't it?
23:39 Speaker 02 Well, that pissed me off with the tube thing last week. And I have been, I have been so early and on time.
23:45 Speaker 03 No, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, no, yes. That thing was, was, in fact, I think we were still in the old studio at that, not the old design, the old.
23:52 Speaker 02 That's because we used to come in in the mornings.
23:54 Speaker 03 We did use to come in in the mornings.
23:56 Speaker 02 And that's, yeah.
23:57 Speaker 03 Life was, life was very different back then.
23:59 Speaker 02 It was.
23:59 Speaker 03 Yeah.
24:00 Speaker 02 It was.
24:00 Speaker 03 I'm sorry if that annoyed you.
24:02 Speaker 02 No, you didn't annoy me. I'm only joking. Don't be soft. I'm joking.
24:05 Speaker 03 Well, you said that.
24:06 Speaker 02 Oh, bless you. I was only, I didn't, you didn't annoy me.
24:08 Speaker 03 I never want to upset you.
24:10 Speaker 02 No, I, I've been sincere.
24:11 Speaker 03 No, no, no, I'm not being insincere, I'm being sincere.
24:14 Speaker 02 Oh, right. Well, that's very sweet. You've not annoyed me, I promise you. You've never annoyed me.
24:18 Speaker 03 Thank you. Well, that's not true.
24:19 Speaker 02 This week.
24:26 Speaker 02 All right. You can listen to the episodes every Tuesday and Friday and 24 hours before anywhere else on Global Player. If you want to get in touch about something that isn't a dilemma or a problem, drop into our DMs or send us an email to [email protected] . We also love hearing back from the people we offer advice to. So if that's you, get back in touch and we'll speak to you on Tuesday.
24:44 Speaker 03 Goodbye.
24:44 Speaker 02 Goodbye.
24:52 Speaker 04 1965, Londres. El diamante de la historia mundial fue robado del Museo de Historia Natural.
25:02 Speaker 04 Luego de poco, un joven limpiador de ventanas de Londres es arrestado.
25:05 Speaker 02 Dicen que estás atrapado, tienes mucho problema.
25:07 Speaker 04 Pero ¿fue un trato? Un plan de arresto que llevó a la caída de dos policías. Su familia dice que está culpable, pero de un crimen totalmente diferente. No vas a acabar en prisión, ¿verdad, niño? Soy Josie Long y este es Rough Diamond. Escúchalo ahora, donde sea que obtengas tus podcasts.
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