Pod Insights Help I Sexted My Boss Daddy Pig’s A Misogynist | And Licking The Spice Out About this episode When you think about the most evil villains of all time, there are a few obvious candidates. The Joker, Joffrey Baratheon, and Voldemort to name but a few. But there's a new contender in town, and he's big, pink and wants you to call him Daddy.
Anyway - back on Planet Earth, William and Jordan have much to discuss regarding whether Henry gives a good suck and a top tip for removing spice from unwanted locations.
If you want to get involved you can email us mailto: [email protected] , and for more Sexted fun sign up https://sextedmyboss.com/newsletter/ to our free VIG&Diva newsletter. You can follow us and DM on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/sextedmyboss/ and TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@sextedmyboss, and watch the latest episode every Tuesday and Friday on YouTube https://www.youtube.com/c/SextedMyBoss.
Help I Sexted My Boss is presented by William Hanson and Jordan North. It is an Audio Always http://www.audioalways.com production.
If you want to get involved you can email us mailto: [email protected] . You can follow us and DM on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/sextedmyboss/ and TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@sextedmyboss, and watch the latest episode every Tuesday and Friday on YouTube https://www.youtube.com/c/SextedMyBoss.
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Transcript 0:01 Speaker 00 I'm Claire Buckley and this Halloween on my podcast, Pretty Scary, we are gonna cover the stories that keep you up at night. Real crimes, ghosts and aliens. Plus, the scariest movies to watch this spooky season with the lights off. So, as the nights draw in, the pumpkins are carved and somewhere in the dark, something is scratching at the window. It's probably just the cat, right? Get the candles lit in search for Pretty Scary with Claire Buckley.
0:46 Speaker 01 Hello and welcome to our Friday episode where we see how much extra content we can squeeze into your week. Random things that have been sent in, extra bits that have been going on and how our advice went down with you, our wonderful Jean Devers.
0:58 Speaker 02 How are you?
0:59 Speaker 01 I'm good, I'm good.
1:00 Speaker 02 What are you up to this weekend?
1:01 Speaker 01 Uh, do do do do do.
1:04 Speaker 02 Oh damn.
1:05 Speaker 01 Sorry, I nearly did it, I nearly did it. I've got a family Toy Story 5 event, like a family day. Got my best mate from back home coming down with kids.
1:12 Speaker 02 How many Toy Story 5 events are you doing?
1:15 Speaker 01 You know, it's a lot. I'm part of the team, the cast now.
1:17 Speaker 02 Okay, you and Tom and Tim.
1:19 Speaker 01 Tom and Tim aren't there for this one.
1:21 Speaker 02 Tom and Tim? I just realised they're called Tom and Tim, Tim and Tom.
1:24 Speaker 01 Tom and Tim aren't there, but they send their love, so I'm representing them. And, um, got a bit of paddle on Saturday. And Friday I'm just having, oh, going to, going to tennis.
1:38 Speaker 02 Oh, well lovely, we'll have a nice time at the, at tennis.
1:42 Speaker 01 At tennis.
1:42 Speaker 02 Hmm. There's no point asking me what I'm doing because we all know the answer.
1:45 Speaker 01 What are you doing this week?
1:46 Speaker 02 Yeah, but what are you doing?
1:47 Speaker 01 Working. All right. Oh, sorry, first time he's got a proper job and he's already got a face like a slapped arse. Welcome to the real world, welcome to the real world.
1:56 Speaker 02 I have.
1:56 Speaker 01 Oh, I bet your mum never said that to you, did she? When I got my first job, I was paying my board, I went, that's my money. She went, welcome to the real world. And she said, I'll tell you what, if you can find an house where they pay £25 a week board, you do all your washing, you're ironing, and you get a roof over your head and fed and watered, she says, I'll come and move in with you.
2:15 Speaker 01 And I learnt my lesson in the real world.
2:19 Speaker 01 Are you laughing at? Well, that's funny.
2:23 Speaker 02 You've made producer Ben choke.
2:24 Speaker 01 So, welcome to the real world. Did your mum say that to you as well?
2:28 Speaker 03 No.
2:29 Speaker 01 No, because she were middle class and nice. Yeah. We got told how it were.
2:33 Speaker 02 Hmm.
2:34 Speaker 01 I wouldn't have it any other way.
2:35 Speaker 02 And when was the last time Wendy works?
2:42 Speaker 03 Oh, oh.
2:46 Speaker 02 Answer the question.
2:48 Speaker 01 Can I just say, I was the mother of four and Graham works away a lot. Thank you very much. So I was there. My job was being a home provider. Thank you, William. Wait till I play that clip. Oh, oh, he's a bitch. Oh.
3:01 Speaker 02 Love you, Wendy.
3:02 Speaker 01 There you go. What are you doing other than Titanic?
3:05 Speaker 02 It's not, we've got two shows a day.
3:07 Speaker 01 Yeah, but what are you doing in between? We go gym, we go out after. I bet it's big night on Saturday.
3:12 Speaker 02 No, Thursday night apparently is the night you go out.
3:15 Speaker 01 Right.
3:15 Speaker 02 Roll on tonight.
3:16 Speaker 01 Student. So you got two nights on Sat-
3:19 Speaker 02 You do matinee.
3:20 Speaker 01 On Saturday.
3:21 Speaker 02 And an evening.
3:22 Speaker 01 Yeah.
3:22 Speaker 02 And then on Sunday, you do matinee and an evening.
3:24 Speaker 01 That is a lot, to be fair.
3:26 Speaker 02 And on Sunday, we start half an hour earlier on both because Sunday.
3:30 Speaker 01 So what time will you finish on Sunday?
3:32 Speaker 02 Be at the building for nine thirty, probably.
3:34 Speaker 01 Ah, you'll be on.
3:35 Speaker 02 It's fine. Yeah.
3:36 Speaker 01 You'll, you'll be on for-
3:37 Speaker 02 As long as the train's running, I should be all right.
3:39 Speaker 01 Heartbeat, what's on?
3:40 Speaker 02 Heartbeat? Heartbeat? Has it been on for years? And that was on at eight o'clock.
3:43 Speaker 01 Hey, do you know what? Everyone goes on about Heartbeat, but Where the Heart Is. Do you remember Where the Heart Is?
3:48 Speaker 02 Was that with Amanda Holden?
3:49 Speaker 01 And what's his name?
3:49 Speaker 02 Or was that?
3:50 Speaker 01 No.
3:51 Speaker 02 The one in-
3:51 Speaker 01 Was Amanda Holden in that? I've put my phone on.
3:53 Speaker 02 She was in something.
3:54 Speaker 01 It was Prefab Sprout of summer who sang the-
3:56 Speaker 02 What?
3:57 Speaker 01 Maybe when the grass is- I'm sure we've done this. It's been eight years. So if we've done this a few years ago, then sod it. Prefab Sprout of whatever he's called sang the theme tune.
4:08 Speaker 02 Prefab Sprout?
4:09 Speaker 01 Yeah, he was actually from Yorkshire. But maybe when the grass is green, I will lie here, I will die here.
4:16 Speaker 02 No, I don't know what you're on about.
4:17 Speaker 01 Where the heart is. Can we Google who sang Where the Heart Is?
4:21 Speaker 02 And also can we Google if Amanda Holden was in that? I'm sure she was in something.
4:24 Speaker 03 I don't think she was in that.
4:26 Speaker 01 I think she was. Crossroads? Who, who sang Where the Heart Is?
4:30 Speaker 03 Prefab Sprout.
4:31 Speaker 02 Gosh, it's like fastest finger first.
4:33 Speaker 01 Yeah, is that his name?
4:34 Speaker 02 Is he, probably.
4:34 Speaker 03 Prefab Sprout.
4:36 Speaker 01 Yeah.
4:36 Speaker 03 Yeah.
4:37 Speaker 01 Is that his actual name? Just said- Do you lot know how to use Google? Just Google who's-
4:43 Speaker 03 His real name, it's an English rock band from County Durham.
4:46 Speaker 01 Yeah.
4:48 Speaker 03 Formed in 1978 by brothers Paddy and Martin McElhoun.
4:52 Speaker 01 What was the singer called?
4:54 Speaker 03 Paddy.
4:54 Speaker 01 No, they didn't.
4:55 Speaker 03 Wendy Smith.
4:57 Speaker 01 No, anyway, we'll move on. Come on, we'll move on. It was Prefab Spout or something who sang it.
5:02 Speaker 03 It's Prefab Sprout.
5:04 Speaker 01 Oh, Prefab, oh.
5:06 Speaker 03 It's nothing to do with-
5:08 Speaker 01 We've got the wrong person.
5:09 Speaker 03 Amanda Holden.
5:09 Speaker 02 Okay, fine. Anyway, last week I said that Paddington was my biggest op. That's the bear, not the, not the station. Um, for those that don't speak Gen Z-
5:18 Speaker 01 What, you've transitioned to Paddington?
5:20 Speaker 02 What?
5:20 Speaker 01 What are you on about?
5:21 Speaker 02 My biggest op. Biggest op, it's like it's Gen Z speak, you wouldn't know, but it's like-
5:24 Speaker 01 For what?
5:25 Speaker 02 For like enemy.
5:26 Speaker 01 Oh.
5:27 Speaker 02 Who's your biggest opposition? Like yours?
5:33 Speaker 02 You know when you go to DJ, like, actually, no, we can't say-
5:35 Speaker 01 No, go on.
5:36 Speaker 02 Sam Thompson.
5:37 Speaker 01 Sa- right. Why does everyone always, you and Stark and everyone else? It was me and Sam-
5:43 Speaker 02 I think he's excellent.
5:44 Speaker 01 He's ace and we-
5:46 Speaker 02 We had him on, um, when you were in the jungle, we had him on-
5:48 Speaker 01 Yeah, and we've been on his podcast.
5:50 Speaker 02 Did we?
5:50 Speaker 01 We've been, I've been on his podcast and he's, we get on, people always put me against Sam.
5:57 Speaker 02 Did we have him?
5:58 Speaker 03 I think we did, yeah.
5:59 Speaker 02 Yeah. Hmm. So our, our biggest op means enemy. Who is your biggest enemy, your nemesis, et cetera? Mine, Paddington the bear. So we asked the G and D'was on Instagram who their biggest fictional nemesis is. Obviously, Sam Thompson is real.
6:15 Speaker 01 He's not my enemy.
6:16 Speaker 02 No, I know, I'm joking.
6:17 Speaker 01 I don't really have any enemies. Oh, I've got one, yeah.
6:21 Speaker 02 Oh, yeah.
6:21 Speaker 01 Yeah.
6:22 Speaker 02 But also not, not fictional.
6:24 Speaker 01 Yeah.
6:24 Speaker 03 A present company excluded.
6:26 Speaker 01 Betty says, uh, Paddington is also mine because he just looks so helpless and makes me cry.
6:31 Speaker 02 Hmm.
6:32 Speaker 01 Okay.
6:32 Speaker 02 Yeah, I see Paddington. Phoebe hates Mummy Pig from Peppa Pig because she's always fat shaming Daddy Pig, who Phoebe says is low-key hot. Hopefully, we've got a picture of Peppa Pig. Is that doing anything for anyone here?
6:45 Speaker 03 Daddy Pig.
6:45 Speaker 01 That's Daddy Pig.
6:46 Speaker 02 Oh, Daddy Pig, sorry. No, Peppa Pig, finding Peppa Pig hot would be problematic.
6:48 Speaker 01 A lot of parents hate Peppa Pig. A lot of them.
6:51 Speaker 02 Well, it's only because it's on loop, is it?
6:53 Speaker 01 No, no, because she's a little madam and it's quite problematic. Mummy Pig al- always shames Daddy Pig and apparently Daddy Pig can be a bit, uh, misogynistic, I believe.
7:05 Speaker 02 Can he? Daddy Pig.
7:08 Speaker 03 He's part of the manosphere.
7:10 Speaker 01 Worse than Andrew Tate in some episodes.
7:12 Speaker 03 The pigosphere.
7:13 Speaker 01 The pigosphere. Honestly, he's like the Andrew Tate of the pigosphere.
7:16 Speaker 02 Is he? Well, I can see why he's people's.
7:19 Speaker 01 Didn't have any luck with Pingu.
7:20 Speaker 02 No.
7:21 Speaker 01 Just got a slap round face with Pingu. At that rate, you knew where you were with him. Were postman Pat shagging her next door? Was that the on running joke?
7:29 Speaker 02 Yeah. I don't think so.
7:30 Speaker 01 Think they were. Think they were.
7:33 Speaker 02 Re- I need to re-watch it.
7:35 Speaker 01 I used to do the best impression with the Tweenies.
7:37 Speaker 02 The Tweenies?
7:38 Speaker 01 I'm Jake.
7:42 Speaker 01 I'm Milo. I'm Fizz. It's Bella.
7:46 Speaker 03 That's rubbish.
7:47 Speaker 02 That's your.
7:47 Speaker 01 Oh, no.
7:48 Speaker 03 You lost confidence. You started well.
7:50 Speaker 01 What? I used to sing it for my little brothers.
7:51 Speaker 02 Go through them again.
7:52 Speaker 01 Hey, hey, what? They used to love it. And I was a bit older, but I used to watch it with them and I used to sing it to them. I was a good brother, you know, I used to go, hey, hey, what do you say? Why don't you come along with the Tweenies? Hey, hey, what do you say? Why don't you come and play with the Tweenies? You can sing with us, play games with us, you can run about and jump and shout every day. Come and play. Hey, hey, what do you say? Why don't you come along with the Tweenies? She goes, I'm Milo. I'm Jake. I'm Bella. He had a bit of a lisp, Jake. I'm, yeah. Oh, that is weird.
8:14 Speaker 03 That's really good.
8:15 Speaker 01 I've not sung that since I was about 11.
8:17 Speaker 03 I think we need to send that to the West End.
8:19 Speaker 01 Thank you.
8:20 Speaker 02 Yes.
8:21 Speaker 01 All right, let's go back to this. Andy said Pingu.
8:24 Speaker 02 Oh, you literally just mentioned him.
8:25 Speaker 01 That bloody annoying knock-knock and he was just a little twat to his parents. All right, Andrew. Okay.
8:31 Speaker 02 Laura asked, does Henry Hoover count? I hate his smug face and it's the worst vacuum to use. I would agree.
8:48 Speaker 01 I, no, he's not. He's good soccer, Henry. He's a good soccer.
8:51 Speaker 02 Yeah, but the vacuum?
8:52 Speaker 01 No, I disagree with that.
8:53 Speaker 02 No, I think the, the, the ones that are sort of round with the face on, I think Henry do make lots of other different products. I think he's a horrific Hoover. Why do you want something, and then it goes on wheels and then you pull it and then it goes, it has a life of its own and it knocks into something and it chips your paint and, no, I, I don't like them. Elaine is off my Christmas card list for this. She says, Merry Poppins. Turns up uninvited, judges everyone's housekeeping and then floats away.
9:17 Speaker 01 Yeah, I'd agree with that.
9:17 Speaker 02 Just like me.
9:18 Speaker 01 And Jenny just said Thomas a tank engine because he's a cunt.
9:22 Speaker 02 Well, Jenny, that is.
9:25 Speaker 02 That's a bit harsh.
9:26 Speaker 01 Um.
9:27 Speaker 02 He's an engine, for God's sake.
9:28 Speaker 01 Yeah, what's wrong with Thomas? Also.
9:29 Speaker 03 Is he Ringo Starr?
9:31 Speaker 02 No, Ringo started the theme tune.
9:33 Speaker 01 No, you're right. No, you are right. It was.
9:36 Speaker 02 Or narrated it, narrated it.
9:37 Speaker 01 Narrated it. Yeah.
9:39 Speaker 02 So maybe Ringo Starr actually did all of the voices.
9:42 Speaker 01 Go on, we'll do one more.
9:43 Speaker 02 No, he's not fictional, but Kirsten's story about Nelson Mandela. The late Nelson Mandela, statesman, was too funny to leave out. Nelson Mandela, R.I.P., was my childhood nemesis because in my childish brain, I saw mad cow disease and him on TV a lot at the same time. So I decided he'd brought mad cow disease to the UK. I must make it clear, I now understand as an adult how incredible he was. Yeah, okay. Well, good for you, Kirsten. Um, now, look, this will be the last time it gets mentioned. I'm just being told to say this for this, this segment, but I'm in Titanic for another month. But we wondered what roles Jordan and.
10:20 Speaker 01 Don't go BBB when you've written it in the fucking script. Oh, we're seeing the real Dame William Hanson now. You're not back, eh, sweetheart? I will not have them lot spoken to like that. You're not backstage at the, what theatre you're at?
10:35 Speaker 03 Criterion.
10:36 Speaker 01 You're not backstage in the West End now. You're here.
10:39 Speaker 02 I'd just like to say that was said with a comment. Oh my, I've actually made my ears go.
10:43 Speaker 01 I will not have you speaking to staff like that. All right?
10:46 Speaker 02 I was saying it as a, I actually do, I swear in the show, quite profoundly.
10:50 Speaker 01 Are your mum and dad going to watch it?
10:52 Speaker 02 Not as far as I'm aware.
10:53 Speaker 01 Why not?
10:53 Speaker 02 Because, well, I said if they're coming, I don't want to know.
10:56 Speaker 01 Okay.
10:56 Speaker 02 I can know afterwards, obviously, but I don't want to know before. Anyway, I'm in Titanic for another month, it says here. But we wondered what roles Jordan and I should be cast in after that. So what do we think of these? Who would be who? Megan said Regina and Katie in Mean Girls, obviously. Queen bitch and the nerdy new kid at school who wants to be popular. Presumably I would be Regina George, Regina George, sorry.
11:20 Speaker 01 Regina?
11:22 Speaker 02 Sorry, it's Latin, it's Latin for queen. Thank you. No, I've never had that on the mind. Um, yes, you could be Katie.
11:31 Speaker 01 Mm-hmm.
11:32 Speaker 02 I can see that. James said Dr. Frank and Ferta and Rocky and Rocky Horror. Camp Icon, who gets their legs out and the creature he creates to be his. Wow. Sexual play thing who wears gold hot pants.
11:42 Speaker 01 Let's do the time walk again. That's Frankie Horror, isn't it?
11:48 Speaker 02 Frankie Horror?
11:49 Speaker 01 Oh no, Rocky Horror. I'm thinking Frankie Goes to Hollywood.
11:52 Speaker 02 No. Another James said widow, twanky and buttons.
11:56 Speaker 01 I've always wanted to be buttons.
11:57 Speaker 02 We do. Well, we did do the sexed panto a few years ago. Oh, no, we didn't. But yes, we could, we could perhaps recreate that at some point. Sharon suggested Henry Higgins and Eliza Doolittle from My Fair Lady. Can't see how we play the roles of a well spoken, snooty expert and uneducated, fame hungry woman with terrible diction and grammar.
12:19 Speaker 01 I don't know what that reference is. I've never seen it, but it's made William laugh and you absolutely loved that, didn't you?
12:25 Speaker 02 That was very funny. I liked it.
12:27 Speaker 01 Eliza Doolittle, didn't she sing?
12:28 Speaker 02 No, for God's sake.
12:30 Speaker 01 What did Eliza do?
12:32 Speaker 02 Back up, you're trouble's in my house. Oh, shut up.
12:36 Speaker 01 Oh, is that another enemy you've got there? Eliza Doolittle?
12:39 Speaker 02 She's one song. It's true, but isn't she the daughter of someone?
12:42 Speaker 01 Doctor.
12:46 Speaker 01 Oh, get off, lads.
12:48 Speaker 03 Aren't you the daughter of someone?
12:50 Speaker 02 Well, yes, sorry.
12:52 Speaker 01 Do you know what? I could have delivered that better. I went, oh yeah, dad used to speak to animals. That would have been better.
12:56 Speaker 02 Lots of people suggested Edward and Mickey, the twins from Blood Brothers, separated at birth, who grew up at different ends of the social spectrum. We've said that when we went to go and watch it, that production you loved. Um, we said, oh my God, it's our story.
13:08 Speaker 01 That's our calling. We could be in a new production of Blood Brothers.
13:11 Speaker 02 Yes, and they don't sing in that musical either, so.
13:14 Speaker 01 What was the song again?
13:15 Speaker 02 Hmm? What?
13:17 Speaker 01 That's very harsh. What was the song in it? What's the Blood Brothers song?
13:22 Speaker 02 Oh God, it's the big Mrs. Johnson's song at the end.
13:25 Speaker 01 Mrs. Johnson. You've just got to get a bit of a scouse. We could bust that.
13:30 Speaker 02 Do that. Um, there were lots of suggestions for Jordan to play Billy Elliot.
13:34 Speaker 01 I've always said Billy Elliot was my story. I just want to dance at the ballet. I do always say that.
13:42 Speaker 02 You do. Reece said, working class lad from the north who's more than comfortable in a tutu, written for him. It is returning to London next year, so maybe it's on tour as well in the UK and then it goes, comes to London.
13:51 Speaker 01 I'd love to go and see that.
13:52 Speaker 02 We'll go and see it.
13:53 Speaker 01 It's a bit like being, what is it?
13:56 Speaker 02 Uh, it's a bit, it's electricity is the song you're doing.
13:58 Speaker 01 Electricity.
13:59 Speaker 02 Electricity. Uh, finally, Gray says, don't let Jordan do the mousetrap, the famously long run, longest running West End show, because then it'll end.
14:08 Speaker 01 Can we stop with these comments as well on the official Disney? Instagram page with millions of followers, loads of Geendivers going, "Well, that's it for Toy Story 5." You shitheads.
14:19 Speaker 03 Keep it coming.
14:20 Speaker 01 No, it's not. That was literally Geendivers on the official Disney Instagram account. It's got like 20 million followers and they're going, "Well, that was a fun while it lasted, Toy Story 5."
14:31 Speaker 02 Didn't you have a cameo in Doctor Who?
14:34 Speaker 01 No.
14:34 Speaker 02 Because that's just been asked. You're one of the monsters.
14:38 Speaker 01 I've not been in Doctor Who, I don't think.
14:41 Speaker 02 Well, you're a loose track, aren't you?
14:43 Speaker 01 We've got more of your emails, messages.
14:45 Speaker 03 Do you?
14:45 Speaker 02 Do you?
14:47 Speaker 02 I can count them on one nose.
14:49 Speaker 01 We've got more of your emails, messages and letters after the break.
14:57 Speaker 04 1965, London. The world's largest uncut diamond has been stolen from the Natural History Museum.
15:07 Speaker 04 Shortly after, a young London window cleaner is arrested.
15:10 Speaker 01 They said you're nicked, you're in a lot of trouble.
15:12 Speaker 04 But was he set up?
15:13 Speaker 05 Wanted, I've fled to fall of two cops.
15:16 Speaker 04 His family say he is guilty, but of a totally different crime.
15:22 Speaker 06 You're not going to end up going to prison, are you, kidlet?
15:24 Speaker 04 I'm Jacey Long and this is Rough Diamond. Listen now wherever you get your podcasts.
15:34 Speaker 02 Welcome back, Geendivers. Now, before we get to your responses, we have recently discussed whether it's ever acceptable to cheat on your hairdresser.
15:40 Speaker 01 No.
15:41 Speaker 02 After Liam admitted seeing a fill-in stylist while his regular hairdresser was on a very long holiday, only to discover he actually preferred the new guy. We've had a response from Claire from the Teen Commandments podcast with Sarah Cox, who has sent us a voice note with some insider knowledge from the hairdresser's side on the chair, because Claire, as well as being a podcaster, is a hairdresser. So what is Claire's take?
16:01 Speaker 07 My take on this is that I don't think you are ever disloyal to a hairdresser if you decide to move. If a hairdresser goes away on holiday, they know that they run the risk of losing clients, because clients will still get their hair done while they're on holiday. Or it could be that they've just found a better hairdresser.
16:19 Speaker 07 The bottom line is, it's Luke's hair. He's one wearing it every day. He should not feel disloyal and everybody should be absolutely fine with it. Hope that helps. Bye.
16:29 Speaker 01 Fair enough.
16:30 Speaker 02 Well, that's basically what we said, so there we go.
16:32 Speaker 01 How sweet's Claire?
16:33 Speaker 02 Claire, I'd come to see you if it weren't for the fact I'm very loyal to my Angela.
16:38 Speaker 01 How long have you had Andrea for?
16:39 Speaker 02 Angela.
16:40 Speaker 01 Angela.
16:40 Speaker 02 Since 2018, 2019.
16:43 Speaker 01 Who did it? Oh, yeah, he said he did it in Drellston, didn't he?
16:45 Speaker 02 Indeed. Gemma slash Kate. I was calling her the wrong name for years.
16:51 Speaker 01 Ollie does mine.
16:53 Speaker 02 Does he?
16:54 Speaker 01 Pick up Ollie.
16:55 Speaker 02 Pick up Ollie, yes.
16:57 Speaker 03 How often do you go for the haircut?
16:59 Speaker 01 Try once a week. Yeah, I need it. This, you can tell when I'm, it's mainly for my beard. Because he just makes it look so good. Beard insides. Sometimes does me arse off.
17:13 Speaker 02 The Princess Royal has a similar service.
17:17 Speaker 02 Anonymous heard our collaboration episode with Tony and Ryan and wanted to share a bit of advice. Hi, boys. I was listening to your collaboration episode with Tony and Ryan and I apologise in advance for the obscenity of the following information. But as someone, a woman, who has endured a similar chilly fingers induced mishap with my boyfriend. I felt that I should share some helpful knowledge gained from that experience should someone else find themselves in such an ordeal. I cannot speak to the etiquette, but I can in fact attest that the solution is not desperate splashing with cold water. But oral sex. In short, my ever patient and dare I say extremely talented boyfriend managed to lick the spice and thus the pain away. You're shamelessly anonymous.
17:57 Speaker 01 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. So she adds spice up there?
18:04 Speaker 02 Hmm.
18:05 Speaker 01 How?
18:06 Speaker 02 Well, presumably on the fingers, didn't realise it was on.
18:08 Speaker 01 Oh, and then, oh, what a little love. Oh, he's a keeper. Bless him. Is that just me that find that really heartwarming? He licked the spice out of a fanny.
18:21 Speaker 02 Does it work for other body parts that, you know?
18:24 Speaker 03 We'll have to try it.
18:25 Speaker 02 Right, go get a vindaloo.
18:29 Speaker 01 I'm sorry, but I'm not kink shaming here, but nobody wants rimming after a curry.
18:35 Speaker 02 No, you don't need to eat it. You will just sort of rub it a bit round.
18:38 Speaker 01 Just go and get some paprika or something then.
18:39 Speaker 02 All right.
18:40 Speaker 01 Ben, do you want to do that on camera? I'll get YouTube viewers up. William Rimming.
18:46 Speaker 02 Get us banned from YouTube.
18:47 Speaker 01 William Rimming paprika out your arse.
18:50 Speaker 03 Problem with that is it would be more red.
18:53 Speaker 01 Paprika's not red. Oh, yeah, it is red.
18:56 Speaker 03 For the set, guys.
18:58 Speaker 02 Oh, I see. Yes. You'd look like the table, wouldn't it?
19:04 Speaker 02 Kian.
19:07 Speaker 02 Anyway, Kian has a-
19:08 Speaker 01 Ah, Jesus Christ.
19:10 Speaker 02 Kian, Kian Pepper, uh, has a question for-
19:22 Speaker 01 God.
19:23 Speaker 02 Says, "It's a question for you, Jordan, so pay attention."
19:26 Speaker 01 Oh, there we go.
19:27 Speaker 02 "Recently, I attended Capital's summertime ball at the famous Wembley Stadium. This was my second time seeing Jordan in a Wembley venue, one being at the Help Us Sex My Boss Live Tour, and two at the ball."
19:37 Speaker 01 Mad.
19:37 Speaker 02 "As a huge fan of the pod, Jordan and yourself, William, I had to make a poster, so I decided to make a sexted poster to take to the ball."
19:44 Speaker 01 I seen it! I was trying to find you, I seen it on the screens backstage, bless your little heart.
19:49 Speaker 02 "I will attach a picture of the result." "Oh, and I should say, security did try to take it off me." "Obviously, they're sexted fans."
19:55 Speaker 01 Oh!
19:55 Speaker 02 Oh, I see. "I have one big question, did Jordan see this on the day?" Well, there we go, we've got your answer.
20:00 Speaker 01 I did.
20:01 Speaker 02 Describe the sign.
20:02 Speaker 01 So it's a picture of me dressed as William's mum on stage, picture of me as, uh-
20:05 Speaker 02 Kylie.
20:06 Speaker 01 Kylie, and picture of me and William as Kylie, and then a picture of me squatting as Kylie. And it says, "I heart Jordan North, help, I'm at Wembley." I did see it, Pepper, and I'm really-
20:17 Speaker 02 Kian.
20:17 Speaker 01 Oh, Kian, sorry, Kian. I did see it, and I'm so glad you've got in touch, genuinely, ah, because I seen it just before I went on backstage. I think it was during the Take That performance, so thank you so much.
20:30 Speaker 02 Oh, ironically, security tried to take that.
20:34 Speaker 01 Tried to take what?
20:35 Speaker 02 The sign.
20:38 Speaker 01 We're on fire! I don't, I don't get it.
20:40 Speaker 02 That's the Pepper. Megan wants us to- God, I'm gonna be shit tonight on stage, I'm actually wasted all here. Megan wants us to help her settle a cleaning debate. Sure you've got the right podcast. "Hello, William and Jordan, et al. I was hoping you could settle a small argument for me. I recently purchased a new Henry Hoover-
20:58 Speaker 01 Mmm.
20:58 Speaker 02 -and was very excited for it to arrive and give the house a good clean. I said to my boyfriend in excitement, 'I've bought a new Hoover.' He proceeded to correct me and say, 'I think you mean vacuum cleaner, it's not a Hoover unless it's branded.'" Now, I've always said-
21:10 Speaker 03 But that is the brand.
21:11 Speaker 01 I think it is a Henry Hoover, innit?
21:12 Speaker 03 Henry the Hoover is the brand where the phrase comes from.
21:15 Speaker 02 Well, Henry Hoover, yeah.
21:16 Speaker 01 Yeah.
21:17 Speaker 03 You can't say it's not a Hoover unless it's branded when it is the Henry the Hoover.
21:21 Speaker 02 Yeah, but our Henry is made by Hoover, there was Henry Hoover the person.
21:24 Speaker 01 Yeah, I think they are, aren't they?
21:26 Speaker 02 I think it is different.
21:27 Speaker 01 Fix a vacuum.
21:28 Speaker 02 What?
21:30 Speaker 01 You're the funny one today. That was shit.
21:35 Speaker 02 Now, I've always said Hoover and that I'm Hoovering the house with no complaints from others. I think vacuuming sounds a bit medical. So who's correct? Do you Hoover or vacuum clean a carpet?
21:43 Speaker 03 Henry is not made by Hoover.
21:45 Speaker 02 Yeah. It is, like, yeah.
21:48 Speaker 01 Technically.
21:48 Speaker 02 Technically, Meg and your boyfriend is correct.
21:50 Speaker 01 But you say Hoover, don't you?
21:52 Speaker 02 It's one of those words.
21:53 Speaker 01 There's other things you say, like, Google.
21:55 Speaker 02 Yeah.
21:56 Speaker 01 Say Google it instead of search it.
21:57 Speaker 02 Yeah, you could be on Ask Jeeves, but you still say Google.
22:00 Speaker 01 How?
22:01 Speaker 02 Yeah, I don't know. That probably isn't a thing anymore.
22:03 Speaker 01 No.
22:03 Speaker 02 Uh, but yeah, it's become one of those, those sort of verbs that is inspired by a noun and it's become a verb, but we still use it.
22:11 Speaker 01 And it's same as cooker?
22:12 Speaker 03 No.
22:13 Speaker 01 Is that not a brand?
22:14 Speaker 03 No, I don't think so. It's like saying if, if a television show gets cancelled, you say it's been Jordaned.
22:18 Speaker 02 Yeah.
22:20 Speaker 01 Nobody says that.
22:22 Speaker 02 They will now. Todd from.
22:24 Speaker 01 I really hope there's a Toy Story 6. I really hope there is.
22:28 Speaker 02 Well, there won't be for a while.
22:30 Speaker 01 Because I can't live with that on my conscience.
22:33 Speaker 03 If Toy Story 6 ever comes out, we should have a big party.
22:35 Speaker 01 Yes. Oh, the relief. Please tell me there's going to be a Toy Story 6.
22:40 Speaker 02 Todd from Ohio in America has been catching up.
22:42 Speaker 01 Ohio?
22:43 Speaker 02 On some episode.
22:45 Speaker 01 Trying to be out funny now and he's just not.
22:48 Speaker 02 Dear Sexed Team, on a recent episode, I, a listener posed the dilemma of clogging a public loo and causing major flooding. Jordan quipped the idea of carrying Tupperware or a Pringles can for such emergencies. With this in mind, I wanted to share a story from over on my side of the pond. An attorney, as a lawyer in the US, found himself in hot water for targeting people with a Pringles can filled with his excrement and was suspended from the practice of law for, for one year as a result.
23:12 Speaker 01 Fucking rightly so. One year? Dirty bastard.
23:15 Speaker 02 The act of filling Pringles cans was an apparent fetish where he would leave the cans in public for unsuspecting victims. The court noted the evidence in this case shows that despite societal standards of cleanliness and decorum, the defendant failed to control his own bizarre impulses to place feces-filled cans out in public for unsuspected people to find. Best, Todd.
23:34 Speaker 01 He got suspended for a year?
23:36 Speaker 02 Well, that's lovely to know, Todd. I'm so glad you've shared that with us.
23:38 Speaker 01 Is that true?
23:39 Speaker 02 Yeah.
23:40 Speaker 01 Oh, you, you'd think he'd get. Taken off the bar, is it? Bard?
23:45 Speaker 02 Uh, well, I don't know if they have the bar in America, if they call it like we do. I don't know what the term is.
23:49 Speaker 01 What's the term here?
23:50 Speaker 02 Disbarred.
23:51 Speaker 01 Disbarred. Who's going round shitting in Pringles?
23:54 Speaker 02 Well, you were suggesting a few weeks ago that people could do.
23:56 Speaker 01 Yeah, but I, not as a fantasy.
23:57 Speaker 02 That lawyer might have taken your advice.
24:00 Speaker 01 He was purposely shitting in Pringles cans and then leave it in the street.
24:04 Speaker 02 No.
24:04 Speaker 01 Horrible. Be a good Netflix series though, wouldn't it? You'd watch it.
24:08 Speaker 02 Hmm.
24:09 Speaker 01 You would.
24:09 Speaker 02 Get Pringles to sponsor it.
24:11 Speaker 01 Is it true the guy who invented Pringles was buried in a giant Pringles case? I think that is true. No, no, no. I'm thinking a guy who invented Tupperware. Sorry, I got mixed up.
24:23 Speaker 01 Yeah, they did.
24:23 Speaker 02 I don't know if any of that is true.
24:25 Speaker 01 It's open casket because they couldn't find the lid.
24:32 Speaker 01 That was good for me, wasn't it?
24:33 Speaker 02 That was very good. You almost outbeat me.
24:35 Speaker 01 Yeah, almost.
24:36 Speaker 02 Almost.
24:36 Speaker 01 Not quite.
24:37 Speaker 02 Yeah.
24:37 Speaker 01 It's not a competition.
24:38 Speaker 02 No.
24:39 Speaker 01 Some days you shine, most days I shine. Let's finish with our comment. This can be a comment from Spotify, YouTube or any of our socials.
24:48 Speaker 02 The honourable mentions go to David, who commented on Instagram about your role play where you got Ben to say, I'm coming. It would have been more realistic if Ben had just done a grunt.
24:56 Speaker 01 Oh, Ben's grunt famously. Yeah.
24:59 Speaker 02 Grace.
24:59 Speaker 01 When did we do that? Was that last week?
25:01 Speaker 02 After, yeah, I think so. A week or two ago. Grace commented on YouTube, I guess the new chairs will stop Jordan rocking backwards and falling again. Alas.
25:08 Speaker 01 I've been suggesting maybe get me a swirly chair.
25:12 Speaker 02 Absolutely not. And our comment of the week is from Tom, who commented on YouTube to say, love the new studio.
25:18 Speaker 01 Well, Tom, thank you. I'm surprised we found yours with all the love for the new studio.
25:22 Speaker 02 Don't be mean.
25:24 Speaker 01 I'm not being mean.
25:24 Speaker 02 I like the fact people have opinions.
25:26 Speaker 01 Yeah. And you know what they say about opinions?
25:28 Speaker 02 We've all got one.
25:29 Speaker 01 They're like assholes. Everyone's got one. There you are.
25:32 Speaker 02 Salam red.
25:33 Speaker 01 Some studios are.
25:34 Speaker 02 Yes.
25:35 Speaker 01 I remember you can listen to new episodes every Tuesday and Friday and 24 hours before anywhere else on Global Player. If you want to get in touch about something that isn't a dilemma or a problem, drop into our DMs or send us an email to [email protected] . We also love hearing back from the people we offer advice to. So if that's you, get back in touch and we'll see you on Tuesday. Goodbye.
25:56 Speaker 02 Bye bye.
26:03 Speaker 00 I'm Claire Buckley and this Halloween on my podcast Pretty Scary, we are gonna cover the stories that keep you up at night. Real crimes, ghosts and aliens. Plus, the scariest movies to watch this spooky season, with the lights off. So, as the nights draw in, the pumpkins are carved and somewhere in the dark, something is scratching at the window. It's probably just the cat, right? Get the candles lit and search for Pretty Scary with Claire Buckley.
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