Pod Insights Happy Place “Just try one new thing!” Fearne’s going boxing and to her cervical screening About this episode Fed up of constantly striving for ultimate happiness? Fearne’s dropping into your feed every week for some far more realistic chat about what’s making her feel great, and what’s making her feel rubbish.
This is a safe space for all of us to get stuff off our chests. No judgement here! Want to join the chat? Send us a voicenote, DM, or comment on Instagram @happyplaceofficial!
So, what’s putting us in our happy place this week... and what things really are not?
In this chat, Fearne covers:
-Why changing your mind and opinions is a good thing
-How to make cervical screenings less scary
-Why trying new things is important even if you can’t really be arsed
-Boxing being a fun outlet for a bit of anger
-Being ok with saying “I don’t know”
-Moving through extreme panic and anxiety
-Coming to terms with it not being warm in the UK for A WHILE yet
...plus Fearne gets an unexpected call from her son Rex!
Not seen the cervical screening Instagram post? Here it is https://www.instagram.com/p/DTm5jQYkp7x/!
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Transcript Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.
0:00 Speaker 00 Hi, I'm Natalie Dormer and I'm proud to be an ambassador for Childline. This year, Childline turns 40. To mark it, I've made Child on the Line, a three-part documentary podcast. We hear why children needed a helpline in 1986, how it was built against the odds and the challenges children face today, from abuse and mental health to social media and AI. Search Child on the Line and listen wherever you get your podcasts.
0:30 Speaker 01 Hey, we're Nick and Jack, hosts of The Best One Yet. Behind every episode, there's research, emails, spreadsheets, and our shared Google Doc, the Headline Hammer. With Google Workspace with Gemini, Google's AI is built right into the premium versions of tools we already use, like Gmail, Docs, and Sheets. No new tools or extra logins, just personalized AI for the way we work. That means less time on the work around the work and more time finding the stories worth talking about. Get AI tools for work. Upgrade to Google Workspace with Gemini at goo.gle/workspacewithGemini. That's goo.gle/workspacewithGemini.
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2:12 Fearne Cotton? It's okay for all of us to constantly change our minds. And actually, we should be changing our minds constantly. You must have an opinion about the Beckhams. What? I don't know the Beckham. I would be an absolute nob, quite frankly. Cervical smear tests are not fun. We're sort of laughing through it and we got it wrong. Let me just answer my son's phone call, guys. Small interruption. The life of a working mum. We're all just a bunch of humans. They're not here to torture me, to terrorise me. I was releasing some inner rage. Our warm days are still fucking months away. Okay. Hello, everyone. Welcome to Happy Place. This is our safe space where we just get to talk about all sorts of things.
2:57 Fearne Cotton? No judgement, no cares. Guess what? No fucks given, actually. That's the era that we're all in. So we're going to talk today about some stuff that's making me and team Happy Place happy. Things that are putting us in our happy place and things that are very much not. So I want to start with a personal one. And the first one for me is, well, it's kind of two things in one. It's first of all, trying new things, which I think as you get older, not only becomes harder because you're less practised at doing new stuff, but also you can't be arsed. I got in a real rut of just doing the same shit, like the same sort of exercise, the same sort of socialising,
3:41 Fearne Cotton? the same way that I approach my working life. And this year, not that I'm doing New Year's resolutions, but I was like, I should try one new thing. And my one new thing, I mean, I've only done it once, so it's very new, is boxing. I'd never done boxing before. And I was looking for something, an activity I could do with my son Rex, who's just about to turn 13. Because I do plenty of activities with my 10-year-old daughter. But Rex and I, it's hard to meet in the middle. Because he watches TV shows that I'm not interested in. He wants to game, which he doesn't want me involved in. He does a bunch of stuff with his mates. And it's like, I want to do something with him. So. This week, for the first time, we went boxing together.
4:25 Fearne Cotton? And I, I don't know, why have I not done boxing before is the big question. I loved it. I was releasing some inner rage that needed to be placed somewhere benignly. And I got a real sweat up. And actually, do you know what was so good was learning something new, like learning techniques, you know, all of the different punches that, you know, very new to me still. I found it just so brilliant for my brain and my body. The one thing I need to do is not have nails this long. Cause they're not, they're not right in a boxing glove. So the nails are going to be shorter and boxing is my new thing.
5:04 Fearne Cotton? Me and Rex loved it. We were sort of laughing through it and we got it wrong. And it was just a really nice bit of bonding. As well as just a new fun way to move our bodies. So boxing is for the win. That is until Rex gets too good, punches me in the face and gives me a black eye, but we'll get to that.
5:25 Fearne Cotton? Let's talk about stuff that Team Happy Place are feeling happy about and me too. One thing that massively brightened our week was the NHS cervical screening Instagram post. It was genius. If you haven't seen it, it very much involves Harry Styles, whether he likes it or not. And it got all of us talking about many things, one of them being how cervical smear tests are not fun. We all know that. We put them off. We think, oh, wait another year. I don't want to do it. But this was a brilliant reminder, a brilliant way to engage with all of us women just to do it and get it done for peace of mind.
6:09 Fearne Cotton? I've had abnormal cells in the past, so I actually go every year. And I don't look forward to it. I don't want to go. I don't want to go and do it. One really good tip that I got given by somebody, because if you've got anxiety before going to something like that, it's a very real thing. When you're, you know, facing having to, look, all of it is undignified. You've got to put your legs in stirrups. Or sometimes you just put your legs in like that weird frog shape, which I really don't like. And you've got no knickers on and it's usually a doctor or a nurse or a gynaecologist that you've never met before. All of it feels sort of terrifying, embarrassing, doesn't matter what age you are. And actually, I've talked to a lot of mates or friends I've
6:51 Fearne Cotton? got who are much older, where it gets more painful because things down there are drier. And all of this factors into that anxiety that is building. And one amazing tip that I got from a friend, who is a therapist and she works with sort of helping people with anxiety. There were two things. When you walk into the doctor's surgery, the nurse's room, whatever it is, scan the whole room, like make sure you're really looking at your surroundings. So there's no surprises, like, you know, okay, the door's there, there's a window there, I can see that the equipment is here, I know the lay of the land, just to really get yourself in a good headspace that this is your, this is your space you're going to be in and you know it. The other really important thing is to ask the doctor,
7:35 Fearne Cotton? the gynaecologist, the nurses, if there's multiple people, their names. And I did this and it helped shift the energy so hugely. I was like, hello, what's your name? And each person told me their name. This is when I was having the abnormal cells dealt with. And everybody said their name and I instantly felt like, right, we're all just a bunch of humans. They're not here to torture me, to terrorise me, they're here to help me and I'm going to be in partnership with these people. And I cannot tell you how much that massively settled my nerves. So all of this stuff can be uncomfortable to talk about, deeply uncomfortable to plan and book and have it in the diary, knowing that
8:17 Fearne Cotton? you've got to get it done. But it's absolutely essential. So we massively thank the NHS for that Instagram post, because it got all of us talking. And I think a few members of the team at Happy Place are like, do you know what, I just need to book it, I just need to get it done. It will be quick, it will be effective and whatever happens, whatever the outcome, my son's ringing me, it will be fine. Let me just answer my son's phone call, guys. Two ticks. Hey Rex, how are you?
8:47 Speaker 04 I'm in a car by myself and I have a key. If I lock the car, will the alarm go off if I have the key inside?
8:55 Fearne Cotton? Um, I don't know. Why do you need to lock yourself in the car?
8:58 Speaker 04 Because the lights on and it shows that the car is just like open and free.
9:03 Fearne Cotton? Okay, I'll be back from work probably when you get back from paddle.
9:06 Speaker 04 Got it.
9:06 Fearne Cotton? Love you, mate.
9:08 Speaker 04 Bye bye.
9:09 Fearne Cotton? Bye, buddy.
9:11 Fearne Cotton? Small interruption, the life of a working mum. Um, what on earth was I up smear tests, that's where I was. Um, so if you are putting off getting a smear test, I'm not saying this in some sort of like authoritative way. I'm like everybody else. I put everything off. I never want to do anything like this. Just do it. They put the Harry Styles tweet out for a reason and it got us talking. So if you're putting it off, just go get it done. Shall we talk about things that are making us not happy? I'll talk about one. So if you've been either listening to this podcast for a while, or you've read any of my books, or you follow me on Instagram, you'll know that
9:52 Fearne Cotton? I've had periods of bad anxiety, at times, you know, crippling anxiety where I thought I had panic disorder at one point. I was having such frequent panic attacks. Luckily, I've been very fortunate to do a fair bit of therapy on this and really try and drill into what the root causes are. I don't get panic attacks anymore. I've been like on the edges of one here and there, but not like back in the day where I was just absolutely blindsided by panic attacks. And it stopped me from driving on the motorway and doing certain jobs at work, all sorts of things. But I've had creeping anxiety recently because I have got press coming up for my new book, Likeable.
10:37 Fearne Cotton? And I really don't like doing it. So I've been this week dissecting why I don't like doing it. And I think it relates to stuff that a lot of us feel. And one of those things is when you do say a print interview with a newspaper, you get asked a bunch of questions and some of them, they're questions that you would never contemplate normally, like what's your greatest fear? Or it could be something deeply personal and you have to give a response. That's obviously the part of the the the press bit that I don't enjoy. So you you give an answer. But of course, in a year's time, five years' time, 10 years' time, I might feel completely differently. But that stuff is in print, is there.
11:22 Fearne Cotton? And I think it's a reminder for me that it's okay for all of us to constantly change our minds. And actually, we should be changing our minds constantly. If I had the same beliefs that I had when I did a press interview at 22, I would be an absolute knob, quite frankly. If I hadn't developed or grown in my thinking or changed how I thought about certain situations, or maybe I was clueless about certain situations. I hope that I change my mind every year on my life, on things that are going on in the world. I think we should all remember that not only should we give ourselves the space to learn and to grow
12:05 Fearne Cotton? and to say things that we might regret or we might just feel slightly differently about. That's a really, really healthy thing. And I think when we really allow ourselves the opportunity to change how we feel and think, we do the same for others in our life. We give other people the opportunity to change. So, you know, if you're used to one dynamic with someone and then they start acting differently. If we're not giving ourselves the space to learn and grow and change, we're not going to be generous with other people in our lives in that way. So I think that's what my fear is, is committing words to ink that I then feel that I need to honour forever. It's absolutely impossible.
12:47 Fearne Cotton? So I think understanding that about myself and the fear is helping somewhat dilute the anxiety. But I think it's an interesting point for us to all think about is how much are we allowing ourselves the opportunity to change our minds about things? You know, we're all forced to, in this day and age, you must have an opinion on this subject. Like, you must have an opinion about the Beckhams. What? I don't know the Beckhams. Or you must have an opinion on this political thing. Well, I'm still working it out. You know, we don't have to have an opinion on everything. Actually, I think not having an opinion. Is a really interesting place to be because you're open to learning and you're open to listening. So I think being less opinionated, and I have to remember this when
13:32 Fearne Cotton? I'm in these awful press interviews where I'm grilled about things, is it's okay for me to say, I don't know, or I haven't figured it out yet, or I don't have an opinion on that. So that's been a good reminder for me. Let's have a look at some of the dislikes from Team Happy Place. Let's go on this one because we're British and we love to moan about the weather. Drivers going at high speed through puddles and drenching us. I am not happy about that either, Team Happy Place, quite frankly. I remember once walking to a gig on my own in my twenties in Camden, and I put on my best little outfit for a
14:14 Fearne Cotton? gig, hadn't I? A little like probably ripped skinny jeans and an off the shoulder asymmetric t-shirt. And I probably had my hair like really severely side parted. And an ambulance, I'm absolutely not blaming the ambulance because it's doing its job, it's driving at high speed because it needs to, but it went through the most gigantic puddle of all time, which soaked the entirety of me. It went over my face and head. And I had to go into a McDonald's and and use the hand dryer, Mackie D's, to try and dry my side parted hair and my outfit. It is not the one. And I think the bleakest bit of all of it, like obviously your outfits ruined, your hair's ruined, you're wet, you're uncomfortable.
14:55 Fearne Cotton? But it is a stark reminder that at this time of year, although my tortoise may come out of hibernation very, very soon, although the odd, I want to say tulip, is that one of the first blooming flowers, starting to poke its little head out the soil, our warm days are still fucking months away. Okay, we might not feel warm outside until June, maybe even July. It's a nightmare. So if you're having a tough time with this time of year, just in general with the weather, with getting splashed by passing vehicles, you're not alone. We are all in this together. Hopefully pushing towards warmer days.
15:38 Fearne Cotton? Of course, Team Happy Place are always quite focused on that time of year. Not only because it's great, but because we've got our Happy Place festivals. And we already had a first big meeting last week about this summer's Happy Place festivals. They are forming so nicely. We've already secured some great people to speak because obviously if you've not been before, we have a talks area and there's loads of brilliant people telling stories, doing talks, doing interviews. We've got some interesting new areas that we're going to be revealing at some point. So that, that was actually quite helpful to see the Happy Place plans and then on our big projector, how many weeks left to the festivals in the summer.
16:23 Fearne Cotton? It's actually not that far off. We've got this, guys. We can get to sunnier climes. It's going to happen. So look, they're some of the things that are making us feel happy and great and some stuff that is making us feel like absolute dog shit. How about you? You can always head over to our Instagram account and tell us what's floating your boat? What's making you feel like shit? We're here for all of it. No judgement whatsoever. A safe space to chat and moan and talk about whatever needs to be talked about. But I will leave you on this final thought. Go and get a smear test. Just do it. And whatever you're doing today, tonight, wherever you're listening to this, this week, I hope you're all right.
17:09 Fearne Cotton? If you're not, lean on someone good, talk to someone, ask for help. And we're always kicking about with nice conversations. So hopefully we can be a little gentle soother in the background too. So sending all of you big love and I'll speak to you next week.
17:54 Speaker 01 Hey, we're Nick and Jack, hosts of The Best One Yet. Behind every episode, there's research, emails, spreadsheets, and our shared Google Doc, the headline hammer. With Google Workspace with Gemini, Google's AI is built right into the premium versions of tools we already use, like Gmail, Docs, and Sheets. No new tools or extra logins, just personalized AI for the way we work. That means less time on the work around the work and more time finding the stories worth talking about. Get AI tools for work. Upgrade to Google Workspace with Gemini at go.o.gle/workspacewithGemini. That's go.o.gle/workspacewithGemini.
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