Ant’s Doppelgänger & Dec’s Full Body Workout

This week, Ant & Dec discuss their green carpet moment, unpack a bizarre mystery package from the Postbag, and chat all about their BRAND NEW SHOW! Plus, Ant discovers he’s being completely ripped off, Dec survives a full-body workout, and there’s a brand new item for Famous Guy Swaps Things. And of course, your favourites are back: Postbag, Tattoos, and Dec’s Diary, including one viewer’s diary claim that she met the lads in 1994… or did she? Keep your correspondence coming in at [email protected] And if you have something to swap for Dec's trainers, send a picture and description of your item and why you don't want it anymore to [email protected]. We would also love to HEAR from you, so we encourage voice notes about your items as well! This is not a competition or a prize draw - we will be choosing participants at our discretion for content purposes. If selected, we’ll be in touch to arrange the swap. You’ll need to be over 18, able to confirm your details for collection or drop-off, and ready to complete the swap promptly. By putting yourself forward, you’re confirming the item is yours to swap and that you have full permission to do so. ----- 00:00 - Coming Up01:30 - Dec’s Full Body Workout04:40 - Cows, Bananas & Breastmilk08:00 - Ant & Dec puppets11:05 - New Swap Alert!15:00 - Listener World Map23:16 - Dec’s Diary32:37 - Premieres & Red Carpets40:45 - Tattoos46:07 - Banana TV/Film Ratings53:00 - Postbag Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Speaker 00

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• 0:30Speaker 01

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• 1:00Ant McPartlin?

  Coming up on the show, Dex's full body workout gives me the shudders. I so like to think of you like that. I like to think of you fully clothed.

• 1:09Declan Donnelly?

  Ant's face pops up in another very unusual place.

• 1:13Ant McPartlin?

  Somebody has ripped me off, big style, and I don't like it. Dex gladly swaps something from his wardrobe.

• 1:20Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah, not sure. Is it too late to put them on eBay?

• 1:23Ant McPartlin?

  You can't, you can't put back out now.

• 1:24Declan Donnelly?

  We reveal some secrets from the red carpet. And we sneaked out and there was a pub next door and we went and sat in the pub.

• 1:31Ant McPartlin?

  And drank Guinness.

• 1:32Declan Donnelly?

  And drank Guinness.

• 1:33Ant McPartlin?

  We've got one of your diaries again, I love them. We can't believe we've got them.

• 1:37Declan Donnelly?

  And loads of your letters in the postbag. Here we go then, enjoy the show.

• 1:50Declan Donnelly?

  Hey, how are you?

• 1:54Declan Donnelly?

  Nice to see you.

• 1:55Ant McPartlin?

  To see you nice. That's not our catchphrase.

• 1:58Declan Donnelly?

  That's not ours.

• 1:58Ant McPartlin?

  That's not ours. We call that that. I didn't turn me like all along.

• 2:01Declan Donnelly?

  Twenty pounds every time you use that. Hello, everybody. Welcome along to the hangout for another hanging out with me and him. It's great to see you and to be with you.

• 2:09Ant McPartlin?

  To see you nice. What, we can't do that in that?

• 2:12Declan Donnelly?

  He can't ask another twenty pounds. Um, but it's great to be in your eyes and your ears. One more time.

• 2:18Ant McPartlin?

  No, that's, that's not, no.

• 2:20Declan Donnelly?

  Is that not a thing?

• 2:20Ant McPartlin?

  It's great to be in your eyes and your ears. That's not, no, that's not me. That catchphrase.

• 2:23Declan Donnelly?

  We've got, we've got to, we've got to work harder on the catchphrase.

• 2:26Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, we really do. All right.

• 2:28Declan Donnelly?

  Very good.

• 2:29Ant McPartlin?

  Good, very good.

• 2:30Declan Donnelly?

  Well, I'm not, I'm actually not very good. I'm a bit discombobulated this morning.

• 2:35Ant McPartlin?

  Keep boxing.

• 2:36Declan Donnelly?

  No, no, no. I've been in the gym.

• 2:37Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah.

• 2:38Declan Donnelly?

  Full body.

• 2:39Ant McPartlin?

  What?

• 2:39Declan Donnelly?

  Full body workout.

• 2:41Ant McPartlin?

  Is that what you call it?

• 2:42Declan Donnelly?

  Not leg day. Well, it wasn't leg day.

• 2:43Ant McPartlin?

  Full body workout?

• 2:44Declan Donnelly?

  It wasn't leg.

• 2:46Ant McPartlin?

  I meant for, I mean here for a full body workout.

• 2:48Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah, well, sometimes we do legs, sometimes we do other body, but it was full body.

• 2:51Ant McPartlin?

  Right.

• 2:53Declan Donnelly?

  And, um, I came out the gym, I rushed up to the, what's the matter?

• 2:58Ant McPartlin?

  Just a full body workout. It just makes us feel like, I, I don't know. I don't want to picture a full body workout. I'd rather not picture that. I prefer when you say leg day, just one specific part of your body.

• 3:11Declan Donnelly?

  But I did, I did, well, half of it was leg day and half of it was upper, upper torso day.

• 3:16Ant McPartlin?

  Upper torso. Don't say torso.

• 3:20Ant McPartlin?

  I don't like to think of you like that. I like to think of you fully clothed.

• 3:24Declan Donnelly?

  I was fully clothed. I wasn't naked working out.

• 3:27Ant McPartlin?

  But torso suggests naked in my eyes.

• 3:30Declan Donnelly?

  Anyway, look, I'd been at the gym. I was a bit sweaty. Went upstairs for a shower.

• 3:33Ant McPartlin?

  Ah, sweaty. Yeah, I've gone.

• 3:35Declan Donnelly?

  I went for a shower. I was like, oh my God, I'm gonna be late. I'm gonna be late. Shower got ready and I'd got the times wrong.

• 3:44Ant McPartlin?

  Right.

• 3:45Declan Donnelly?

  So when I was supposed to be leaving the house, I thought it was half an hour earlier. So I was early.

• 3:51Ant McPartlin?

  For the first time in his life.

• 3:53Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah, so I was twenty minutes early for leaving the house when I thought I should have been leaving the house half an hour earlier.

• 3:58Ant McPartlin?

  Right.

• 3:59Declan Donnelly?

  So I was still twenty minutes early.

• 4:00Ant McPartlin?

  So what did you do with that twenty minutes?

• 4:02Declan Donnelly?

  I was ten minutes late for the time I should have been that I thought I was leaving.

• 4:05Ant McPartlin?

  What are you talking about?

• 4:06Declan Donnelly?

  So I was ten minutes late for the time I thought I was leaving, but then I came downstairs really panicked and I was like, oh, I don't have to leave for another twenty minutes.

• 4:12Ant McPartlin?

  Uh huh.

• 4:13Declan Donnelly?

  So I was twenty minutes early.

• 4:14Ant McPartlin?

  So what did you do in that twenty minutes?

• 4:15Declan Donnelly?

  I was kind of messed with me mojo. I'm not used to being early.

• 4:18Ant McPartlin?

  That's why you're discombobulated.

• 4:19Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah, because I'm not used to being early.

• 4:20Ant McPartlin?

  He's always late, always, always has been ever since we started working together. You're never that late on Biker Grove. He's just crept in later.

• 4:30Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah.

• 4:31Ant McPartlin?

  When you just work with me.

• 4:32Declan Donnelly?

  Yes.

• 4:33Ant McPartlin?

  So it's very disrespectful really to me. How was your full body workout?

• 4:38Declan Donnelly?

  I'm not used to, I'm not used to being early and it's messed with me mojo a bit.

• 4:42Ant McPartlin?

  Okay.

• 4:43Declan Donnelly?

  So I'm a bit late.

• 4:44Ant McPartlin?

  Will the good stuff come later, twenty minutes later?

• 4:46Declan Donnelly?

  Maybe.

• 4:51Declan Donnelly?

  Maybe.

• 4:52Ant McPartlin?

  If you're just listening to this podcast, skip ahead twenty minutes because that's when all the zingers are going to come out.

• 4:57Declan Donnelly?

  I need to catch up with myself. You still think about my torso?

• 5:02Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, I'm thinking about your full body and I've seen you naked.

• 5:05Declan Donnelly?

  When?

• 5:06Ant McPartlin?

  Well, of course I've seen you naked over the years, not for a while.

• 5:09Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah.

• 5:09Ant McPartlin?

  Not for a while. I make a point of not being around you when you're naked, turn my back when you change.

• 5:16Declan Donnelly?

  And, and how would you rate it?

• 5:19Ant McPartlin?

  Eight bananas.

• 5:23Ant McPartlin?

  One banana. That's all I saw.

• 5:28Ant McPartlin?

  I rate you one banana and two plums.

• 5:34Declan Donnelly?

  How did we start here?

• 5:35Ant McPartlin?

  How did we get on to this, huh?

• 5:37Declan Donnelly?

  Your dirty mind.

• 5:38Ant McPartlin?

  Talking of bananas.

• 5:39Declan Donnelly?

  Yes.

• 5:39Ant McPartlin?

  I was, I went to Ouzbourn Community Farm.

• 5:42Declan Donnelly?

  Up in Newcastle?

• 5:43Ant McPartlin?

  Up in Newcastle, right. And it's a really cool little farm. It's a nice little place, Ouzbourn, really cool.

• 5:48Declan Donnelly?

  Lovely.

• 5:48Ant McPartlin?

  Very trendy. Went with me daughter who's at uni there and Wilder. We thought we'd like it. So as banana ratings are kind of sweeping the nation. As we've discussed.

• 6:00Declan Donnelly?

  Catching fire.

• 6:00Ant McPartlin?

  We were looking around the little pens and there was pigs in one, which he loved because he loves Peppa Pig at the minute. Loves Peppa Pig. And the next one was lambs, which he likes, but they were very loud, the lambs scared him a little bit. Yeah, I thought, yeah, they didn't like it. He backed off. Uh, the next one was goats, uh, which he liked. Wanted to try and get in there, but.

• 6:21Declan Donnelly?

  They're vicious.

• 6:22Ant McPartlin?

  They'd have his fingers off, so all that from that one. And then the final one was just one cow, one big cow, right? Stood there very proudly, licking its nose with a wet nose. And then the woman that worked there came over and she went, would you like to feed it a banana? And I went, oh yeah, I said, yeah, banana. She knows his favourite food, a banana. I thought, I thought you were listening to the podcast. She hadn't, she hadn't. That was his favourite food and he gulped it down, skin and all. Loved it. Which just made us think, like, weird, weird choice of food for a cow. No, wouldn't you think so? Like, what are other weird food choices for animals that you'd never, I would never put a cow and a banana together.

• 7:03Speaker 04

  No, I'd give that to like a giraffe or.

• 7:06Ant McPartlin?

  A giraffe, a monkey. Monkeys eat bananas? Come on, didn't you never read a book in your life?

• 7:12Declan Donnelly?

  I wonder what the world record is though for, uh, the amount of bananas eaten by a cow in a minute.

• 7:17Ant McPartlin?

  I'm telling you, a thousand. It gulped it down.

• 7:20Declan Donnelly?

  Really?

• 7:20Ant McPartlin?

  Oh my God, yeah. They licked its big nose at the end. Love that banana.

• 7:26Declan Donnelly?

  That's a weird one. I like, I like my butter from grass fed cows. I'm not sure I'd have it from banana fed cows.

• 7:33Ant McPartlin?

  No, I know, it'd be very yellow. Imagine if it was yellow anyway.

• 7:36Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah. And you know, when you put your bananas in the fridge, it makes everything taste like banana.

• 7:39Ant McPartlin?

  The gym so much, all that butter you're eating.

• 7:43Declan Donnelly?

  It's good for you?

• 7:44Ant McPartlin?

  No, it is. It is butter is good for you. I'm all for that. Full fat butter. No half fat, nothing. No half fat nonsense. We've really, we've really strayed this week, haven't we? What milk do I have? Actually, I have lactose free milk.

• 7:59Speaker 04

  Oh, do you? Oh, we did do yogurt the other day.

• 8:01Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, all day. Is that why?

• 8:03Declan Donnelly?

  It's the king's fault.

• 8:05Ant McPartlin?

  That's what you get when you're the royal taster. Sometimes you've just got to pull up with these things.

• 8:10Declan Donnelly?

  You just go, yeah. When we had, um, Isla, um, I used to use Ali's breast milk, um, not to drink it.

• 8:18Ant McPartlin?

  What, on your cereal?

• 8:19Declan Donnelly?

  No, no, no, no, no.

• 8:21Ant McPartlin?

  Well, what, for what then?

• 8:22Declan Donnelly?

  But if ever I had like a spot or

• 8:24Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, yeah.

• 8:25Declan Donnelly?

  Anything.

• 8:25Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, I've done that.

• 8:26Declan Donnelly?

  Breast milk.

• 8:26Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah.

• 8:27Declan Donnelly?

  It's brilliant.

• 8:28Ant McPartlin?

  Or dry a bit of skin?

• 8:29Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah.

• 8:29Ant McPartlin?

  Put breast milk on.

• 8:30Declan Donnelly?

  It's good.

• 8:31Ant McPartlin?

  Clays it right up.

• 8:31Declan Donnelly?

  I had, I had an infection in my nail and I used to get, um, a little bit of breast milk and stick my finger in it. And it is absolutely brilliant.

• 8:40Ant McPartlin?

  Was your freezer full of breast milk?

• 8:41Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah.

• 8:42Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, so was ours. Sweet, sweet breast milk. Right, right. I tell you what, today's podcast is just bizarre.

• 8:49Declan Donnelly?

  This has gone mad. So I've done a full body workout.

• 8:53Ant McPartlin?

  Stop saying that phrase.

• 8:55Declan Donnelly?

  But, uh, I've also brought a chest with me today.

• 8:58Ant McPartlin?

  Good. Okay. How's it feeling?

• 9:00Declan Donnelly?

  No, not this one. Look at this. Hang on one second.

• 9:02Ant McPartlin?

  Well, I saw something in the corner.

• 9:04Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 9:04Ant McPartlin?

  Is that yours?

• 9:05Speaker 04

  This is mine.

• 9:06Ant McPartlin?

  Is that the swap? That's lovely. Why are you getting rid of that?

• 9:09Declan Donnelly?

  This is not a swap. This is.

• 9:11Ant McPartlin?

  Keeping that, I can see why.

• 9:12Declan Donnelly?

  This is a little.

• 9:13Ant McPartlin?

  This is a very nice looking chest.

• 9:15Declan Donnelly?

  Thank you.

• 9:16Ant McPartlin?

  That Deck has brought in.

• 9:17Declan Donnelly?

  Full body workout.

• 9:17Ant McPartlin?

  Um, almost looks like black leather. It's a black leather.

• 9:21Declan Donnelly?

  I think it's crocodile.

• 9:22Ant McPartlin?

  Ooh, fake, obviously fake, not real. No, no crocodiles will harm the, the making of this chest. With like wooden inlays, silver clasps.

• 9:31Declan Donnelly?

  It's fancy, isn't it?

• 9:32Ant McPartlin?

  It's really good. It's very good, very good. But what's inside there?

• 9:36Declan Donnelly?

  Only the best for what is inside the chest.

• 9:39Ant McPartlin?

  Go on. Yes, please.

• 9:40Declan Donnelly?

  Okay. Brace yourselves.

• 9:43Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, I know what it is. I know what it is. I've just seen it. I've just seen it. Deck's gonna, Deck's gonna, um, handle it. Put his hand in it. So it comes out the right, oh, that was a ban. Have you broke it?

• 9:55Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah, I have a little bit.

• 9:56Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, no.

• 10:02Ant McPartlin?

  Oh my god. I don't know what's worse mine or yours. Yours, yours is definitely worse than mine.

• 10:08Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah, it's pretty bad, isn't it?

• 10:09Ant McPartlin?

  So, for those of you who are just listening to this, this is Dex's spitting image puppet. Um, I brought mine on a couple of weeks ago, uh, but I only brought the head because the body had disintegrated. You seem to have the body in yours.

• 10:21Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah, it's, it is starting to disintegrate a bit.

• 10:23Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, it is starting to disintegrate. Look at your hair. Oh, it is. Oh, yeah, it's fallen all off.

• 10:28Declan Donnelly?

  My hand fell off.

• 10:29Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, the hands fell off. There's like loads of sawdusty style tough.

• 10:33Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah.

• 10:34Ant McPartlin?

  Coming out of it.

• 10:35Declan Donnelly?

  But I've still got my little shoes on.

• 10:38Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, look at these little shoes. Come on, I'll have them. I think they're his size. Look at the hands. Look, one hand's left on there. Look at that.

• 10:47Ant McPartlin?

  Do you remember the person who wrote into last week's pod and said that they could help, um, fix mine?

• 10:53Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah.

• 10:53Ant McPartlin?

  So I said, we need to bring Dex in first. So that's what the body should look like with a little suit on and little shoes. And so if we can, I mean, yours is, the chin's gone.

• 11:03Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah, that, that's, that's all falling in on itself.

• 11:06Ant McPartlin?

  It really is. It's quite gruesome.

• 11:08Declan Donnelly?

  Bad, isn't it?

• 11:09Ant McPartlin?

  Let me get, let me get my, hold them up together. It's very hard to, um, I can't even get my hand in mine because the chin's falling off. There, there you go. There's, there's both of them.

• 11:19Declan Donnelly?

  Let's have a look at the moment.

• 11:20Ant McPartlin?

  There's Dex. There you go. There's our spitting image puppets. If the offer is still there, but you want to stretch to do in two, we'd be very grateful. And, uh, we'd show your handiwork in, uh, a month's time when, when you fix them for us. Because we'd like to keep them, wouldn't we? Yeah. Oh, he's Dex, Dex and on his other head, his second head. So I put mine in with yours?

• 11:40Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah, so you want to stick it in the chest?

• 11:41Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, go on then. Put, put them in together. Put them in the chest and.

• 11:44Declan Donnelly?

  Try and keep the noise down. But what are they made of?

• 11:48Ant McPartlin?

  Um, I'm not sure. I like probably like a form. It must have been like a form that they could manipulate and, and. But so perished, good word. Didn't think we'd hear that word on this week's show. Perished, perished. Dex's body has, Dex's body has perished. It needs a full body workout. That's what that needs.

• 12:06Declan Donnelly?

  It really does.

• 12:10Ant McPartlin?

  So no famous guy swaps things this week, I'm afraid, because we've, we, we don't have anything else to swap, do we?

• 12:15Declan Donnelly?

  We didn't set anything up.

• 12:17Ant McPartlin?

  We didn't.

• 12:17Declan Donnelly?

  Last time.

• 12:18Ant McPartlin?

  Do you have any other stuff that you'd like to swap?

• 12:19Declan Donnelly?

  Well, I was doing a little clear out.

• 12:21Ant McPartlin?

  Uh huh.

• 12:22Declan Donnelly?

  And I have found.

• 12:23Ant McPartlin?

  Right, hold on, is it kitchen related again?

• 12:25Declan Donnelly?

  No, it's not.

• 12:26Ant McPartlin?

  You've given away a slow cooker and an air fryer.

• 12:28Declan Donnelly?

  I don't have any, I don't have doubles of any other kitchen appliances.

• 12:31Ant McPartlin?

  Good, I think that's good.

• 12:32Declan Donnelly?

  But I do have double something.

• 12:35Ant McPartlin?

  Go on.

• 12:36Declan Donnelly?

  Shall I get them?

• 12:37Ant McPartlin?

  Yes, please.

• 12:38Declan Donnelly?

  Okay, stand by. I was doing a little clear out.

• 12:40Ant McPartlin?

  What area, what room of the house?

• 12:42Declan Donnelly?

  Dressing room.

• 12:43Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, dressing room. I don't like the picture of his dressing room. It makes me think he's naked. What, nothing, nothing, nothing. Makes me think of his torso.

• 12:52Declan Donnelly?

  Came across these on the top shelf that.

• 12:55Ant McPartlin?

  The top shelf?

• 12:58Ant McPartlin?

  It's not all magazines, is it?

• 12:59Declan Donnelly?

  No, it's not, not, not top shelf.

• 13:01Ant McPartlin?

  Me, you.

• 13:01Declan Donnelly?

  Not top shelf magazines. But I came across these on the top shelf of my shoe tower rack thing.

• 13:06Ant McPartlin?

  Tower?

• 13:07Declan Donnelly?

  Rack.

• 13:07Ant McPartlin?

  Shoe tower?

• 13:08Declan Donnelly?

  Well, it's a rack.

• 13:08Ant McPartlin?

  Is everything a tower to you because you're short?

• 13:11Declan Donnelly?

  It's a shoe rack on the wall.

• 13:13Ant McPartlin?

  My book tower.

• 13:14Declan Donnelly?

  So they're on the top shelf for a very good reason because I bought them and I didn't like them. And they look different on the internet, but I think they got imported from Japan, so I can't send them back. So they've just been sat there for ages and I thought, hmm, I'll swap these if anybody's interested.

• 13:31Ant McPartlin?

  Go on.

• 13:33Speaker 04

  Wow.

• 13:34Ant McPartlin?

  Hold on a second. Dennis just put down a pair of possibly my favourite Adidas trainers. They've got a torsion ball at the bottom.

• 13:46Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah.

• 13:47Ant McPartlin?

  Gold torsion ball.

• 13:48Declan Donnelly?

  Yes.

• 13:49Ant McPartlin?

  They are a high top boot, white leather. You've got a strap at the front.

• 13:54Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah.

• 13:54Ant McPartlin?

  Hear that Velcro? Good quality Velcro, that, from Japan. I couldn't imagine you in these.

• 14:01Declan Donnelly?

  No.

• 14:01Ant McPartlin?

  They're not, they're not a very Declan Donnelly shoe.

• 14:04Declan Donnelly?

  Well, I remember when I bought them and.

• 14:07Ant McPartlin?

  They're lush. I'd love them.

• 14:08Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah, they're nice on them. Not your size though.

• 14:10Ant McPartlin?

  I'll try them on.

• 14:11Declan Donnelly?

  I remember when I bought them and they were in my house in the corner one day and you came in and you went, what the hell are those? Who do you think you are? Rizzle kicks?

• 14:23Ant McPartlin?

  Ow, ow, ow.

• 14:24Declan Donnelly?

  You can't get your foot in them.

• 14:25Ant McPartlin?

  Kind of, they're kind of in there, are they in there?

• 14:30Declan Donnelly?

  But they're a bit, they're a bit like.

• 14:31Ant McPartlin?

  They're a bit Michael J. Fox, a bit Back to the Future.

• 14:33Declan Donnelly?

  A bit Marty McFly.

• 14:34Ant McPartlin?

  They are very Marty McFly, they are a bit Rizzle Kicks. I do like them though.

• 14:38Declan Donnelly?

  They're Adidas, they're a UK seven and a half.

• 14:41Ant McPartlin?

  Right, that's narrowed your field down a lot.

• 14:43Declan Donnelly?

  A lot.

• 14:44Ant McPartlin?

  I think for, for swaps.

• 14:45Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah.

• 14:46Ant McPartlin?

  Um, but you willing to swap these?

• 14:47Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah, they can, I see, yeah, you can have them if you want.

• 14:49Ant McPartlin?

  Okay, so that, they're good. That's a good swap.

• 14:53Declan Donnelly?

  It's a good swap.

• 14:53Ant McPartlin?

  Very good swap.

• 14:54Declan Donnelly?

  Imported from Japan.

• 14:55Ant McPartlin?

  Imported from Japan, can you tell us the purchase price? Or can't you remember?

• 14:59Declan Donnelly?

  I can't remember, but they were.

• 15:02Ant McPartlin?

  Chunky?

• 15:02Declan Donnelly?

  Yes.

• 15:02Ant McPartlin?

  Couple hundred quid?

• 15:03Declan Donnelly?

  Couple hundred quid.

• 15:04Ant McPartlin?

  Okay, a couple hundred quid, woo. We need little, um, discs to rotate them on, like they're a prize.

• 15:11Declan Donnelly?

  They're a US eight, UK seven and a half. And I think that's possibly why I didn't wear them either, because I think they're a bit small for me. Cause in Adidas, I'm a size eight.

• 15:20Ant McPartlin?

  Adidas June, they're called, Tojimbo at the bottom, my favourite, my favourite of all Adidas.

• 15:27Declan Donnelly?

  Never been worn.

• 15:27Ant McPartlin?

  Never been worn by Declan Donnelly.

• 15:30Declan Donnelly?

  Well, they were, but, but then I was told I looked like I was in Rizzle Kicks.

• 15:34Ant McPartlin?

  Is it because of my comment, you didn't wear them? Oh, I'm so sorry, because I really like them, I really like them. No, you've done it now, okay. Famous Guys Swaps Things is back next week. If you want to swap something for these, I think, pretty cool trainers. Uh, they're more of me trainer than a Dec trainer, but they will definitely be a you trainer. If you swap with Dec. Email us at [email protected], all the Ts and Cs are in the description.

• 16:01Declan Donnelly?

  We haven't done this for a few weeks, but I thought we could get the old listener map out.

• 16:05Ant McPartlin?

  Oh yeah, good, okay, yes, yes, please.

• 16:08Declan Donnelly?

  Here you go, world map.

• 16:09Ant McPartlin?

  Right, I've had a little thought.

• 16:11Declan Donnelly?

  Go on.

• 16:11Ant McPartlin?

  About this.

• 16:12Declan Donnelly?

  Okay.

• 16:12Ant McPartlin?

  Now, it's more, probably more relevant to the UK map, but it works as a world map as well.

• 16:17Declan Donnelly?

  Right.

• 16:18Ant McPartlin?

  These areas.

• 16:20Ant McPartlin?

  In the world that aren't listening to the podcast, right? Like Russia, for example, Greenland, right? China, there's only one little flag in China. Kazakhstan, there's no flags.

• 16:31Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah.

• 16:32Ant McPartlin?

  Afghanistan, no flags. So I think the people that listen to the pod could do the hard work for us. Get out there and advertise the pod.

• 16:41Declan Donnelly?

  Well, that's a good idea.

• 16:42Ant McPartlin?

  Do you know what I mean?

• 16:43Declan Donnelly?

  Yes.

• 16:43Ant McPartlin?

  Not just tell your mates down the pole board, tell people like your work colleagues. What I mean is like, make a poster hanging out without the deck, dropping every Thursday and Monday.

• 16:52Declan Donnelly?

  Yes.

• 16:52Ant McPartlin?

  So we need you to do the advertising for us. So if you're in one of these places or anywhere in the UK and

• 16:58Declan Donnelly?

  Or anywhere in the world.

• 16:59Ant McPartlin?

  You listen to the pod and your friends, colleagues or people in your area, don't. Get out there and do some advertising for us and show us with a photo and we'll show it on the pod.

• 17:08Declan Donnelly?

  That's a good idea.

• 17:09Ant McPartlin?

  Obviously don't hurt yourself, be very safe.

• 17:12Declan Donnelly?

  Be safe.

• 17:12Ant McPartlin?

  Be safe, but be safe, have fun.

• 17:16Declan Donnelly?

  And don't break any laws. We're not bailing you out.

• 17:19Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, very good point.

• 17:20Declan Donnelly?

  We're not getting you out of any jails.

• 17:22Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, we're not bailing you.

• 17:23Declan Donnelly?

  So, so yeah, do it within the law, be safe. But yeah, advertise the pod for us, that'd be great.

• 17:30Ant McPartlin?

  Free advertising for us.

• 17:31Declan Donnelly?

  Free advertising.

• 17:32Ant McPartlin?

  We don't have to pay for it. We don't have to do it.

• 17:33Declan Donnelly?

  And we don't have to do it.

• 17:34Ant McPartlin?

  Wicked. Thanks. Right, back to the map.

• 17:37Declan Donnelly?

  We have got some new flags, the black ones. We're going to Canada first, to Moose Jaw.

• 17:45Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, that sounds good.

• 17:46Declan Donnelly?

  Saskatchewan?

• 17:48Ant McPartlin?

  Sasquatch? Sasquatch, like the Sasquatch.

• 17:50Declan Donnelly?

  Like the Sasquatch.

• 17:51Ant McPartlin?

  Like Bigfoot.

• 17:52Declan Donnelly?

  Saskatchewan? Sasquatch. Sandra's there.

• 17:56Ant McPartlin?

  Is she?

• 17:56Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah.

• 17:57Ant McPartlin?

  Hi Sandra.

• 17:57Declan Donnelly?

  Hi Sandra.

• 17:58Ant McPartlin?

  Hi Sandra in Canada. That's, that's, there she is.

• 18:00Declan Donnelly?

  In southern Canada.

• 18:01Ant McPartlin?

  Have I ever been or are you going to ask me? No, I have not. As you can tell, because we can't pronounce the name of it, so I've never been there. We'd love to go to Canada.

• 18:08Declan Donnelly?

  Love to go.

• 18:09Ant McPartlin?

  Yes.

• 18:10Declan Donnelly?

  Always love to go.

• 18:11Ant McPartlin?

  Manifest, manifest, manifest.

• 18:12Declan Donnelly?

  Douglas.

• 18:13Ant McPartlin?

  Mm hmm.

• 18:14Declan Donnelly?

  Is in Stockholm in Sweden. Ah Sweden, there he is, Sweden.

• 18:20Ant McPartlin?

  Hi Douglas.

• 18:21Declan Donnelly?

  Hi Douglas, ever been?

• 18:22Ant McPartlin?

  Yes, I have.

• 18:22Declan Donnelly?

  Did you love it?

• 18:23Ant McPartlin?

  I did love it, love Sweden. We hosted the, I was gonna say we hosted the MTV Music Awards. We did, but ITV's coverage of it. So we basically, we interviewed people on the red carpet. Somebody else hosted the main thing, but we.

• 18:36Declan Donnelly?

  And we linked in and out of bricks.

• 18:38Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, essentially.

• 18:39Declan Donnelly?

  Tyser.

• 18:40Ant McPartlin?

  Tyser, oh, I love Tyser. And I am bro.

• 18:43Declan Donnelly?

  Tyser, I think that's her name, and she's in Brazil.

• 18:46Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, oh, I'd love to go to Brazil.

• 18:48Declan Donnelly?

  Would you love to go?

• 18:48Ant McPartlin?

  Please, can I come stay at your house?

• 18:50Declan Donnelly?

  Never been?

• 18:50Ant McPartlin?

  Please, I've never been, please, I've never been.

• 18:52Declan Donnelly?

  Love to go to Brazil.

• 18:53Ant McPartlin?

  I'd love to go anywhere in South America. I'd love to go to Buenos Aires. I'd love to go to Rio. Where is she in Brazil?

• 18:59Declan Donnelly?

  She has not said.

• 19:00Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, it's big country, you know?

• 19:01Declan Donnelly?

  I know.

• 19:02Ant McPartlin?

  Big, big country. She looks like she's right, she's slapback in the middle of it. Or is that just because you didn't know where she was and you just put it in the middle?

• 19:09Speaker 04

  Plonked it on Brazil?

• 19:09Ant McPartlin?

  You plonked it on Brazil. Yeah, okay. If the offer is there, is there an offer there?

• 19:13Declan Donnelly?

  No, there's not.

• 19:14Ant McPartlin?

  Nothing in brackets?

• 19:15Declan Donnelly?

  Nope.

• 19:16Ant McPartlin?

  Shame.

• 19:16Declan Donnelly?

  Let's hot foot it to Puerto Rico.

• 19:18Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, yeah, okay.

• 19:19Declan Donnelly?

  Joanne is in Puerto Rico. She's listening in Puerto Rico.

• 19:22Ant McPartlin?

  Up here.

• 19:23Declan Donnelly?

  Have you ever been?

• 19:25Ant McPartlin?

  Uh, I've never been to Puerto Rico.

• 19:27Declan Donnelly?

  You've been to the Caribbean?

• 19:27Ant McPartlin?

  I have, I have been to the Caribbean or Caribbean, however you like to say it. Have you ever Caribbean to the Caribbean?

• 19:35Ant McPartlin?

  Have you ever Caribbean to the Caribbean? Have you ever been to the Caribbean? Jesus, wow.

• 19:41Declan Donnelly?

  Oh, yes.

• 19:43Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, that's what you discombobulate, you'll get it in a minute.

• 19:45Declan Donnelly?

  Give me 20 minutes.

• 19:47Ant McPartlin?

  Where did your feet get burnt?

• 19:48Declan Donnelly?

  Antigua.

• 19:49Ant McPartlin?

  Antigua, we've been to Antigua.

• 19:50Declan Donnelly?

  And I got an upset stomach in the Bahamas.

• 19:54Ant McPartlin?

  Lovely, that's nice.

• 19:55Declan Donnelly?

  It's good, isn't it?

• 19:56Ant McPartlin?

  Wonderful.

• 19:56Declan Donnelly?

  Lovely.

• 19:57Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, there's an airplane just come in.

• 19:59Declan Donnelly?

  Hi, Anton Deck.

• 20:00Ant McPartlin?

  Hi.

• 20:01Declan Donnelly?

  And the hecklers.

• 20:02Speaker 04

  Hi.

• 20:04Declan Donnelly?

  Love the pod, listening from Rome, Italy.

• 20:08Ant McPartlin?

  Ah.

• 20:08Declan Donnelly?

  Where I have lived for nine years. Have you ever been?

• 20:11Ant McPartlin?

  I've never been to Rome.

• 20:12Declan Donnelly?

  Would you like to go?

• 20:13Ant McPartlin?

  I'd love to go to Rome.

• 20:14Declan Donnelly?

  Well.

• 20:15Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, hello.

• 20:16Declan Donnelly?

  I have lived for nine years. Oh, sorry, but apologies, no space in my house for you to stay. However.

• 20:22Ant McPartlin?

  Just stop reading.

• 20:23Declan Donnelly?

  With your ever growing list of demands, perhaps the Vatican is best suited to host you.

• 20:27Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, cool, okay.

• 20:28Declan Donnelly?

  Respect, guys. Ifa.

• 20:30Ant McPartlin?

  Ever growing list of demands?

• 20:33Declan Donnelly?

  All we said was a-

• 20:33Ant McPartlin?

  Ever grown list of demands, they're not demands.

• 20:37Declan Donnelly?

  An on-street bathroom. My own bathroom, that's all I want.

• 20:39Ant McPartlin?

  No, and clean sheets.

• 20:40Declan Donnelly?

  And clean sheets.

• 20:41Ant McPartlin?

  And clean sheets. And wifi, good wifi.

• 20:43Declan Donnelly?

  Oh, and we did say we wanted to give a blessing from a veranda. So maybe it's the Vatican.

• 20:48Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, the Vatican, it should be, yes, yes. And a, and a big shop, yeah, get a big shop in. Cause we don't wanna just be going in your cupboards thinking, is this in date, is this out of date, I don't know. You don't want my date. Is that what I go to me mothers? You're never quite sure if it's in date or not. It's true though. It's true. And she, she'd agree if she's watching this. You're like, you have a bag of crisps and go, when, when did they go out of date? You go, 2021? They're fine, man, get them through you, they're fine.

• 21:15Declan Donnelly?

  They don't look at dates, do they?

• 21:17Ant McPartlin?

  We, nah, they don't.

• 21:18Declan Donnelly?

  They don't look at dates.

• 21:18Ant McPartlin?

  My sister invited me mum to her house for Christmas one year, right? And she, me mum said, oh, you're having Christmas pudding? And my sister said, well, nobody really eats it. My mum said, I eat it, I'll bring me own. So she brought her round, my sister went, well, I'll, I'll make sure I cook it for you. And she opened the packaging, the Christmas pudding was older than my niece. My niece was eight at the time. And she was like, man, it's got alcohol in, man, it never goes off. It never goes off, just stick it in the pan, it'll be fine, I'll eat it.

• 21:49Speaker 04

  Did she?

• 21:50Ant McPartlin?

  She did, well, yeah, and she's still with us, so.

• 21:52Declan Donnelly?

  Still with us.

• 21:58Declan Donnelly?

  Did she get ill?

• 21:59Ant McPartlin?

  Uh, she didn't get ill. Nah, nah, you see, you don't look at stuff like this, do you?

• 22:03Declan Donnelly?

  Not really.

• 22:04Ant McPartlin?

  Not bothered. Think it's a scam?

• 22:06Declan Donnelly?

  Sniff test. If it smells all right and it looks all right, it's probably all right.

• 22:09Ant McPartlin?

  I used to be really like, if it was one day, if it was on the day, I wouldn't eat it.

• 22:13Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah, that, yeah.

• 22:14Ant McPartlin?

  I was like, no way.

• 22:15Declan Donnelly?

  When we shared a flat, you were like, oh, that goes off today, we can't eat that. Like, no, it's today.

• 22:19Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah. I used to be really bad and the older you get, and the more you realise of the food wastage in this world, that you do you think, I'm not throwing that out for the sake of it, I'm just gonna, I'll eat it.

• 22:30Declan Donnelly?

  But we should pay close attention to them. I have to say that legally.

• 22:34Ant McPartlin?

  Says the producer.

• 22:36Declan Donnelly?

  I've got one from Ty.

• 22:37Ant McPartlin?

  Hi Ty.

• 22:38Declan Donnelly?

  Says, you have a listener for your podcast.

• 22:41Ant McPartlin?

  For your podcast, where's she from?

• 22:42Declan Donnelly?

  All the way from Qatar.

• 22:44Ant McPartlin?

  Qatar?

• 22:44Declan Donnelly?

  Yes. Just wanted to say hi. I want to add, ya can't come to stay with me yet because just like Jamie Oliver, I'm busy up until September.

• 22:54Ant McPartlin?

  Very good, very good.

• 22:56Declan Donnelly?

  Thanks Ty.

• 22:56Ant McPartlin?

  Nice callback to a previous pod, I like that.

• 22:59Declan Donnelly?

  Listen to this from Elliot Long. Hello Anton Deck, I'm listening from sunny Soyo in North West Angola.

• 23:07Ant McPartlin?

  What?

• 23:09Declan Donnelly?

  Where's that?

• 23:10Ant McPartlin?

  Well, it's in Africa, so Angola must be here.

• 23:14Declan Donnelly?

  Oh, there we go.

• 23:15Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah.

• 23:15Declan Donnelly?

  North West Angola, there it is. Admittedly, I don't live here full time.

• 23:20Ant McPartlin?

  Right.

• 23:21Declan Donnelly?

  But I work down here on rotation, so I split my time between here and Gateshead.

• 23:26Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, right, okay, right. Quite a difference Angola and Gateshead.

• 23:30Declan Donnelly?

  If you fancy coming to stay, I'm sure we could sort out a couple of spare rooms in the staff house.

• 23:36Ant McPartlin?

  What?

• 23:37Declan Donnelly?

  The staff house.

• 23:38Ant McPartlin?

  Staff house? Does that mean we have to be staffed though? Well, I don't fancy that, it's not a TV show.

• 23:44Declan Donnelly?

  Rooms are en suite, but the kitchen is shared. It's at least a four banana establishment.

• 23:50Ant McPartlin?

  Out of, out of eight?

• 23:51Declan Donnelly?

  Eight.

• 23:52Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, no, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no. I like to think I can rough it, you know, as well as the next person, but I can't.

• 24:02Declan Donnelly?

  A four banana.

• 24:03Ant McPartlin?

  I can't, you can't just lose four bananas in a rating, in a cleanliness, hygiene rating when it comes to staying somewhere. I won't be staying there.

• 24:13Declan Donnelly?

  Thank you Elliot, but no thank you.

• 24:15Ant McPartlin?

  No thank you Elliot.

• 24:17Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, you're on the screen again and you're dirty socks. Time for the diary.

• 24:20Declan Donnelly?

  Diary time.

• 24:21Ant McPartlin?

  Is it, is it, is it midweek's?

• 24:22Declan Donnelly?

  It's midweek day guys.

• 24:23Ant McPartlin?

  Oh God, I hope you do well. I really hope we do well.

• 24:27Declan Donnelly?

  So let me recap for you how the, how it used to, how the charts used to work in the olden days.

• 24:32Ant McPartlin?

  Right.

• 24:32Declan Donnelly?

  So you used to release a record on a Monday.

• 24:35Ant McPartlin?

  Mm hmm.

• 24:35Declan Donnelly?

  Chart day was a Sunday, so you'd have the charts on Sunday night. It was bath night.

• 24:42Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, it was.

• 24:42Declan Donnelly?

  And um.

• 24:43Ant McPartlin?

  We used to listen to the charts in the bath.

• 24:44Declan Donnelly?

  So we used to put the radio on upstairs, the charts were on. That's where you used to get your chart position. That's, it's all changed now, now it's on a Friday, whatever. So, but it used to be, you used to release on a Monday, you get your chart position on the Sunday. However, halfway through the week, you get your midweek chart position, which is a pretty good representation of how many records you've sold that far, and an indicator of where you're gonna be in the charts on Sunday. So, today, we got our midweek chart position for why me?

• 25:12Ant McPartlin?

  Have we got a jingle?

• 25:13Speaker 04

  We do, this is from Courtney.

• 25:15Ant McPartlin?

  Courtney, let's hear it.

• 25:27Ant McPartlin?

  It's not bad.

• 25:28Declan Donnelly?

  I quite like it.

• 25:28Ant McPartlin?

  That's it, that's it, and it's short. I like, I quite like that. Quite ethereal at the beginning.

• 25:34Declan Donnelly?

  It is.

• 25:34Ant McPartlin?

  Isn't it?

• 25:34Declan Donnelly?

  It's a bit like.

• 25:35Ant McPartlin?

  Bit Billie Eilish-y.

• 25:36Declan Donnelly?

  It's the fourteenth of April, nineteen ninety-four. Day eighteen of life on the road. Say ooh, ah, twenty-five, say ooh, ah, twenty-five.

• 25:46Ant McPartlin?

  Is that what you wrote? Brilliant. Say ooh, ah, twenty-five. That's our midweek chart position, twenty-five.

• 25:53Declan Donnelly?

  Got the midweeks today. Guess where we are? You guessed it. That's what I've said here. Got the midweeks today, guess where we are?

• 26:02Ant McPartlin?

  Who are you talking to?

• 26:03Declan Donnelly?

  That's like.

• 26:04Ant McPartlin?

  Who?

• 26:05Declan Donnelly?

  Guess where we are? You guessed it.

• 26:08Ant McPartlin?

  I wouldn't be surprised if he wrote, future me. Guess where we are, future me? Because who else is gonna read this? Twenty-five, well done.

• 26:16Declan Donnelly?

  It may drop, but hey, we're in the top forty. Brackets, fingers crossed.

• 26:23Ant McPartlin?

  Fingers crossed, fingers crossed.

• 26:25Declan Donnelly?

  Anyway, a last minute change of plan meant we had to do Liverpool tonight.

• 26:29Ant McPartlin?

  Ah.

• 26:30Declan Donnelly?

  Instead of Blackpool. For a last minute change, there was a massive crowd, and they were pretty darn good, too.

• 26:38Ant McPartlin?

  Darn.

• 26:39Declan Donnelly?

  A few troublemakers.

• 26:40Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, was there? Oh, I know where we were.

• 26:43Declan Donnelly?

  Tried to spoil it again with spitting and the odd flying bottle bouncing off my knee.

• 26:48Ant McPartlin?

  Hmm.

• 26:49Declan Donnelly?

  We had a relaxing afternoon at Pleasure Island, though.

• 26:52Ant McPartlin?

  Did we?

• 26:52Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah. That's not a brothel.

• 26:57Ant McPartlin?

  It's a theme park.

• 26:58Declan Donnelly?

  Not like the last one. Beat Ant at air hockey.

• 27:01Ant McPartlin?

  That's a lie. That's why you're lying in your diary.

• 27:04Declan Donnelly?

  A few times.

• 27:05Ant McPartlin?

  That's such a lie. A few times.

• 27:08Declan Donnelly?

  And I won bowling too.

• 27:10Ant McPartlin?

  That's a big fat lie.

• 27:11Declan Donnelly?

  In brackets, touchy subject.

• 27:16Ant McPartlin?

  Brilliant. Brilliant.

• 27:19Declan Donnelly?

  Dominique.

• 27:22Declan Donnelly?

  You see? You see? Nothing's changed.

• 27:25Ant McPartlin?

  That's funny.

• 27:26Declan Donnelly?

  Nothing's changed. Dominique, our tour manager, wasn't very happy at the security and stuff, but we got through. Loads of birds backstage.

• 27:34Ant McPartlin?

  Birds. Oh, how 90s of you, he wouldn't say that now.

• 27:38Declan Donnelly?

  I'm very David here.

• 27:38Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, he wouldn't say that now. What happened with these birds?

• 27:42Declan Donnelly?

  Only a few that rated though.

• 27:47Declan Donnelly?

  And that's the end of the diary.

• 27:49Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, that's the old us. We're not like that anymore.

• 27:52Declan Donnelly?

  Well, that was the end of midweek's day.

• 27:54Ant McPartlin?

  Good diary. The good diary. What happened on the air hockey and the bowling? Huh?

• 27:58Declan Donnelly?

  Touchy subject.

• 27:59Ant McPartlin?

  Touchy subject, Clay. I was furious with you. You won the Grand Slam. You won the, you won the leisure Olympics.

• 28:06Declan Donnelly?

  I did.

• 28:07Ant McPartlin?

  Didn't you?

• 28:08Declan Donnelly?

  Pleasure island. It was pleasurable for me.

• 28:09Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, not for me. Miserable island, more like it. What a shame. So 20, oh, where's the airplane coming? From Heckless Corner, which says, hi boys. Loving the podcast. Next diary reminded me of one of mine. Extracted a little below from a trip with my friend Katrina to Blackpool. We've been best friends for over 30 years and honestly, this story has been told so many times. We've spent the last 28 years being two women with an incredible celebrity encounter. Have a great run on the podcast. Have a great run. Have a great run. She doesn't think it's gonna last. Just have a great run. For now, enjoy it. Enjoy it while it lasts, because it won't last for long, says Michelle and Katrina. Do we have it? Do we have the diary?

• 28:54Speaker 04

  It's in the drawer behind you.

• 28:55Ant McPartlin?

  This is Michelle's diary. Part one.

• 28:59Declan Donnelly?

  Oh.

• 29:00Ant McPartlin?

  The twenty second of July nineteen ninety eight. Me and Katrina are on our second day in Blackpool. And we went to see Summer Holiday with her mum and dad. Which sounds boring, but actually it wasn't. The show was really good.

• 29:17Declan Donnelly?

  It was a good show.

• 29:18Ant McPartlin?

  But the best part was when we found out Aunt and Dec were going to be there. Like actually there. After the show, we waited by the stage door and they came out. I cannot even explain how cute they are in real life. There's a lot of things in capitals with an exclamation mark. We got photos with them, actual photos. After following them for years, we can't believe we met them. She's very excitable in this diary. My mum and dad are never gonna believe this when I get home. But I will show them the photos and then they will have to believe me.

• 29:55Declan Donnelly?

  No AI in those days.

• 29:56Ant McPartlin?

  No.

• 29:57Declan Donnelly?

  No such thing as AI.

• 29:58Ant McPartlin?

  We're back in the hotel room now on our own and we literally can't stop talking about it. I don't think we'll sleep tonight. I might actually explode. Oh my God. Do you have the photos to show us on the screen?

• 30:09Speaker 04

  Well, just read on.

• 30:10Ant McPartlin?

  Read on. Michelle's diary, part two. Twenty third of July nineteen ninety eight. Worst day ever.

• 30:20Declan Donnelly?

  Oh no.

• 30:20Ant McPartlin?

  We woke up so excited to get our photos delivered. We still had five photos left on the spool, so we quickly took some off and went to Boots. He used to do that, didn't he?

• 30:30Declan Donnelly?

  Blackpool talk.

• 30:32Ant McPartlin?

  Everything was going perfectly. Then we opened the camera. The spool hadn't been connected properly. It wasn't even clicking. It wasn't moving in capitals. That means all of the photos from Blackpool, all of the photos meeting Aunt and Dec, gone. Full stop. Not there. Full stop. Never existed. It's like it never happened. We're crying. Properly crying all day. No one is ever gonna believe us. No one's gonna believe that we met them and now there is no photos. We hope we meet them again one day because this is actually devastating and unfair.

• 31:20Ant McPartlin?

  Unfair. What a great word to put in the diary. It's just, this is unfair.

• 31:26Ant McPartlin?

  On the plus side, Katrina won the pink teddy in the grab machine, so that cheered us up a little bit.

• 31:32Ant McPartlin?

  But still, absolutely ruined. And we go home tomorrow. Oh, Michelle.

• 31:38Declan Donnelly?

  No way.

• 31:39Ant McPartlin?

  Michelle and Katrina from 1998. I'm so gutted for you.

• 31:45Declan Donnelly?

  And nobody ever believed that.

• 31:48Ant McPartlin?

  Never.

• 31:48Declan Donnelly?

  They met us.

• 31:49Ant McPartlin?

  Well, I don't know if I believe it.

• 31:50Declan Donnelly?

  Well, I don't know if I believe it because I don't remember meeting them.

• 31:53Ant McPartlin?

  I don't remember meeting them. And this was in, this was the 23rd of July, 1998. So that was the summer before we started SMTV Live.

• 32:03Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah.

• 32:03Ant McPartlin?

  So why were we up there? Why were we in Blackpool? Oh, summer holiday, she says.

• 32:08Declan Donnelly?

  Summer holiday.

• 32:08Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, that, that, that does ring true. We did go and see summer holiday in Blackpool.

• 32:11Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah.

• 32:12Ant McPartlin?

  Because your girlfriend was in it at the time with Darren Day. So that did happen. So we probably did meet her.

• 32:18Declan Donnelly?

  We might have done.

• 32:19Ant McPartlin?

  Might not have though.

• 32:20Declan Donnelly?

  Maybe this is a big ruse.

• 32:22Ant McPartlin?

  Maybe. But what do we do? Do we be nice guys and invite them down so they can have photos? Or do we just not believe them and put the diary back in the drawer? Not believe them? Show them. Believe or not believe?

• 32:37Declan Donnelly?

  I, I believe. I believe.

• 32:40Ant McPartlin?

  I do believe. I do believe. Michelle, Katrina, we believe you.

• 32:42Declan Donnelly?

  We do believe you. Why don't they come to the auditions in Blackpool for Britain's Got Talent?

• 32:47Ant McPartlin?

  And make sure you've charged your phones with cameras on it. So when you take photos, you can show people and they believe you.

• 32:53Declan Donnelly?

  And.

• 32:53Ant McPartlin?

  Come down and meet us.

• 32:54Declan Donnelly?

  The auditions for Britain's Got Talent in Blackpool are at the same theatre as summer holiday was. So we can have photographs at the stage door and recreate the photographs.

• 33:05Ant McPartlin?

  Michelle, Katrina was meant to be, was meant to be that you sent in your diary.

• 33:09Declan Donnelly?

  Come to the Britain's Got Talent auditions in October in Blackpool.

• 33:13Ant McPartlin?

  When you say recreate the photos, what do you mean?

• 33:15Declan Donnelly?

  I'll dye my hair ginger. Was my hair ginger at that time?

• 33:17Ant McPartlin?

  I had to shave all my hair off.

• 33:18Declan Donnelly?

  Or.

• 33:19Ant McPartlin?

  Or spikes, breaky twists, twisty spikes.

• 33:21Declan Donnelly?

  You get your twisty spikes and I'll find a shirt that looks like a pair of curtains. And we'll recreate.

• 33:28Ant McPartlin?

  Dye your hair ginger.

• 33:28Declan Donnelly?

  And we'll recreate the photos at the stage door in the Winter Gardens.

• 33:32Ant McPartlin?

  It's a day. Meet you there in Blackpool later in the year.

• 33:37Declan Donnelly?

  Cannes Film Festival this week.

• 33:39Ant McPartlin?

  Ever mean.

• 33:41Declan Donnelly?

  Been to Cannes. But unfortunately, we don't have our movie quite ready yet for the Film Festival.

• 33:47Ant McPartlin?

  No, we don't.

• 33:47Declan Donnelly?

  But there's some good movies, though, being screened at the Cannes Film Festival. But have you seen any of the red carpets?

• 33:54Ant McPartlin?

  Over the years, I have, yes.

• 33:56Declan Donnelly?

  There's been some, there's been some good red carpets down in Cannes. It got me thinking about, actually, when we did make a film, Alien Autopsy, and we had a premiere in Leicester Square, do you remember this?

• 34:07Ant McPartlin?

  We had three premieres.

• 34:07Declan Donnelly?

  We had three premieres.

• 34:08Ant McPartlin?

  We had one in Leicester Square, we had one in Newcastle, and we had one in Dublin.

• 34:12Declan Donnelly?

  And we were very excited. We'd made the film and we had the Leicester Square premiere coming up. And the film company went, we've had a brilliant idea for the premiere. Instead of doing a red carpet, because it's an alien film, we're going to do a green carpet.

• 34:30Ant McPartlin?

  I mean, how is your luck? A green carpet. You know, these are, this is the thing of dreams. You know, to have your own movie and a red carpet leading up to the, to the audience in Leicester Square. That's like stuff that kids dream of that. It's aspirational. And the one time it happens for us, they turn it into a green carpet. There you go, there's the photo there, and it's snot green. That's not alien green, that is a snot green carpet. We had three premieres, so we, that was the first one in Leicester Square, which was really good and glitzy, and there's quite a lot of camera crews and everything. And the second one was in Newcastle, which was as glitzy. And the third was in Dublin, which was as glitzy. But by the time you get to the third premiere,

• 35:14Ant McPartlin?

  so what you normally do is you'll, you'll walk down the red carpet, you'll talk to all the news crews and everything on the red carpet. Then you go through and you do a little Q and A on stage with the director. And then you sit, take your seats, watch the movie with everyone, get the reactions. By the time you get to the third premiere, we didn't sit and watch the movie.

• 35:34Declan Donnelly?

  I couldn't sit through it again.

• 35:35Ant McPartlin?

  We're not going to sit through it three times.

• 35:36Declan Donnelly?

  I mean, you, you've seen it. You can't sit through that three times. It was three premieres in about the space of five or six days. So by the time we got to the Dublin one, we did the Q and A, we did that. And here it is, enjoy the film.

• 35:49Ant McPartlin?

  It went really dark.

• 35:50Declan Donnelly?

  Went really dark and we sneaked out. And there was a pub next door and we went and sat in the pub. And I think there was a match on and we sat and watched football.

• 35:57Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, we did and drank Guinness.

• 35:58Declan Donnelly?

  And drank Guinness.

• 35:59Speaker 04

  How long are the red carpets?

• 36:01Declan Donnelly?

  Sometimes red carpets can be as long as the awards ceremony or the film you're going to see. So sometimes, I mean, like the Oscars, you see them, they're on the red carpet for hours. Like here, when we go to the BAFTAs, that red carpet's about an hour long.

• 36:14Ant McPartlin?

  And some people turn up to just do the red carpet, then go, which I find bizarre.

• 36:21Declan Donnelly?

  They turn up and they're in their frock or in their outfit or whatever, and they do the whole red carpet and they have photographs all the way down. They get to the very end and have the one big photograph with the board at the back. And then sometimes they don't even go in, they just go straight, get in a car and go home.

• 36:35Ant McPartlin?

  We've been lucky because we have been doing it for so long, you, you're not overwhelmed by it. It's still a bit awkward, but we're not overwhelmed by the occasion. You just, you know, you do it, it's a means to an end to get into the venue. But I can imagine for people just starting out and say, you know, say you're a kid actor and you get nominated for a BAFTA and you turn up to the TV BAFTAs and you are left on the red carpet. That must be, that must be tough.

• 37:03Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah, it's because it can be quite overwhelming.

• 37:05Ant McPartlin?

  I must scramble your head, that must discombobulate.

• 37:07Declan Donnelly?

  Yes, especially if you're 20 minutes early for it.

• 37:10Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, exactly. Imagine that.

• 37:14Declan Donnelly?

  This is an advert for Gemini, Google's personal AI assistant.

• 37:18Ant McPartlin?

  Right, I've got a board to pick with you. You know, the other week you berated my cardigan.

• 37:22Declan Donnelly?

  Well, it.

• 37:23Ant McPartlin?

  Berating.

• 37:24Declan Donnelly?

  I didn't berate it, but I just gently poked fun at it.

• 37:27Ant McPartlin?

  So I thought we'd put this matter to bed. Let's just ask Google Gemini.

• 37:31Declan Donnelly?

  Google Gemini.

• 37:31Ant McPartlin?

  So Gemini, are cardigans sexy?

• 37:34Speaker 05

  Cardigans can definitely be stylish and attractive. Some people might find them appealing.

• 37:40Declan Donnelly?

  Some people might find them appealing. Doesn't sound very sexy to me. Hang on a minute, let me get you on the camera.

• 37:47Ant McPartlin?

  I'm not wearing a cardigan.

• 37:48Declan Donnelly?

  No, no, but.

• 37:48Ant McPartlin?

  It's a jumper.

• 37:49Declan Donnelly?

  That's all right. Gemini, on the whole, what could Anne do to elevate his look?

• 37:54Speaker 05

  You could try incorporating some trendy items like stylish sneakers or a modern jacket. Don't be afraid to experiment with bold colours and accessories to show your personality.

• 38:05Ant McPartlin?

  Right, this is my personality, Gemini. Navy blue with cool trainers and a bracelet. That's it. It's very slimming.

• 38:13Declan Donnelly?

  With Gemini, you can chat with a truly helpful AI assistant.

• 38:16Ant McPartlin?

  You jump in, brainstorm ideas, ask for more details. You can even show it what you're talking about.

• 38:21Declan Donnelly?

  It's there for a real chat, not just a quick question and done.

• 38:25Ant McPartlin?

  Download the Gemini app today to unlock the real power of Google AI on your phone.

• 38:31Declan Donnelly?

  Check responses, setup required.

• 38:33Ant McPartlin?

  Compatibility and availability varies. Eighteen plus.

• 38:38Ant McPartlin?

  This is an advert for TV licensing.

• 38:41Declan Donnelly?

  Lots of great telly on at the moment.

• 38:43Ant McPartlin?

  Yes.

• 38:44Declan Donnelly?

  What are you watching?

• 38:45Ant McPartlin?

  Have you watched on ITV Secret Service?

• 38:48Declan Donnelly?

  Ah, I haven't yet.

• 38:49Ant McPartlin?

  It's good.

• 38:49Declan Donnelly?

  Sounds amazing.

• 38:50Ant McPartlin?

  It is. Shall I read you the blurb?

• 38:52Declan Donnelly?

  Go on, talk it about.

• 38:53Ant McPartlin?

  It's a British spy thriller, starring Gemma Arterton as an MI6 officer who uncovers a possible Russian mole inside the UK government.

• 39:00Declan Donnelly?

  I know this, I know this, I know this.

• 39:01Ant McPartlin?

  As she investigates, she's forced to choose between national security lightly and her own safety. I'm four episodes in, so I've got the last one to go. So no spoilers, you lot, right? You've seen it, it's very good. So if you were in the Secret Service in real life.

• 39:16Declan Donnelly?

  Yes.

• 39:17Ant McPartlin?

  Right, what would your fake name be? And what would your cover job be? Because I've thought about this a lot.

• 39:23Declan Donnelly?

  Have you?

• 39:24Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah. Well, my fake name is probably, I couldn't stray too far from my real name because I'd just get caught out. So it would have to be like Andy.

• 39:31Declan Donnelly?

  Andy Mc.

• 39:33Ant McPartlin?

  Andy McNab. Oh, that's a person, right? That's, is that person?

• 39:37Declan Donnelly?

  He's an SES man.

• 39:38Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, yeah. Oh, don't go on that one.

• 39:40Declan Donnelly?

  No, no, no.

• 39:40Ant McPartlin?

  Andy McBoobins.

• 39:42Declan Donnelly?

  No.

• 39:43Ant McPartlin?

  Tony, Tony Mark. My name would be Tony Mark.

• 39:46Declan Donnelly?

  Tony Mark.

• 39:47Ant McPartlin?

  My name would be Tony Mark and I would do this job.

• 39:51Declan Donnelly?

  What, you'd be a TV presenter and a podcast?

• 39:53Ant McPartlin?

  Yes.

• 39:54Declan Donnelly?

  What?

• 39:54Ant McPartlin?

  It's the perfect rouge, isn't it? Because I get to meet loads of different people. I'm never really doing the same thing twice.

• 40:01Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah.

• 40:02Ant McPartlin?

  Like, all my jobs are in different parts of the world and I can just, as I go through passport control, they're like, what are you here for? I'm just here for TV presenting, but I'm not. I'm here to spy on you. But anyway, it's good. Uh, I, up to, I can't really rate it properly with a banana rating, but so far, seven bananas.

• 40:19Declan Donnelly?

  Amazing.

• 40:20Ant McPartlin?

  Let's hope the last step doesn't let me down.

• 40:22Declan Donnelly?

  Did you see Who Wants to be a Millionaire recently got their seventh top prize winner, their seventh millionaire?

• 40:28Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, I've read about that, yeah.

• 40:29Declan Donnelly?

  Yes.

• 40:30Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 40:30Declan Donnelly?

  Great episode. I have got the million pound question.

• 40:33Ant McPartlin?

  Do I have any lifelines?

• 40:34Declan Donnelly?

  You do have lifelines. Fifty fifty.

• 40:36Ant McPartlin?

  Right.

• 40:37Declan Donnelly?

  And ask the host.

• 40:38Ant McPartlin?

  Okay, go on then.

• 40:39Declan Donnelly?

  Used since eighteen seventy six. Which trademarked logo is described in the James Joyce novel Ulysses? And depicted in works by Manet and Picasso? Is it A, Bass Ale? Is it B, the famous grouse? Is it C, Coca-Cola? Or is it D, Stella Artois?

• 41:01Ant McPartlin?

  That is tricky, but I don't think it's Coca-Cola. So we will get rid of that. Let's go fifty fifty first before I I speak anymore.

• 41:08Declan Donnelly?

  Fifty fifty leaves you with Coca-Cola.

• 41:11Ant McPartlin?

  Oh.

• 41:12Declan Donnelly?

  And Bass Ale.

• 41:13Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, well, okay then. Well, I don't think it's Coca-Cola. Oh, God, I'm gonna be so wrong. Bass Ale.

• 41:18Declan Donnelly?

  Final answer.

• 41:19Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah?

• 41:20Declan Donnelly?

  You've just won one million pounds!

• 41:22Ant McPartlin?

  No way! Well, I was a guest of the Hock.

• 41:25Declan Donnelly?

  You need to go on Millionaire, you need to go on Millionaire.

• 41:27Ant McPartlin?

  I will, I will, I will, I will.

• 41:28Declan Donnelly?

  Still doing the business, man!

• 41:30Ant McPartlin?

  Bloody brilliant, man! So much great telly.

• 41:32Declan Donnelly?

  A TV licence covers you to watch over four hundred TV channels, including the ones we've talked about today and BBC iPlayer. To find out more, go to tvl.co.uk/pod.

• 41:45Speaker 06

  Shaq here. What's it like to buy a car from Carvana a hundred percent online and get it delivered to your door? Let me tell you. Your car is here, Mr Shaq. Thank you, Mr Carvana guy. Can't wait to take it for a spin. Only the best for you, Mr Shaq. Hey, have you always been so big, tall and handsome? Not always. I was six ten once. Seven days to love it or return it, Mr Shaq. Not that I would. You never do. No, I never do. So buy your car today on Carvana. Delivery fees may apply. See our seven day return policy at carvana.com.

• 42:15Declan Donnelly?

  Tell you what we haven't done for a few weeks and the day is drawing closer.

• 42:19Ant McPartlin?

  What day?

• 42:20Declan Donnelly?

  Tattoo day. We haven't sorted out your tattoo yet.

• 42:22Ant McPartlin?

  We haven't, no, we haven't. We had more tattoos. Loads, good. When is the day? Because I might need to do a few full body workouts before I get my body out.

• 42:33Declan Donnelly?

  Do you need to wax or anything beforehand?

• 42:34Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, see, see, very hairy man.

• 42:40Declan Donnelly?

  So we've got, these are the possibles so far. But also we've got some new ones in here.

• 42:46Ant McPartlin?

  Uh huh.

• 42:47Declan Donnelly?

  So let's have a look at the latest ones. See if you like any of these. Any of these float your boat. Right, we've got this one.

• 42:57Declan Donnelly?

  From Luke in Hertfordshire. He says, hi lads, greetings from Hertfordshire.

• 43:04Ant McPartlin?

  Greetings Luke.

• 43:06Declan Donnelly?

  Me and my sister Rebecca are big fans of the pod.

• 43:08Ant McPartlin?

  Thanks.

• 43:08Declan Donnelly?

  And we watch on the telly, only 50 inch, so not worth a touch in a photo.

• 43:13Ant McPartlin?

  Okay.

• 43:16Declan Donnelly?

  I've had you both on telly for our whole lives, 24 and 26 respectively. My sister has designed a tattoo for Aunt to take a look at.

• 43:23Ant McPartlin?

  Right.

• 43:23Declan Donnelly?

  It is a pizza box representing Saturday Night Takeaway with XX inside.

• 43:30Ant McPartlin?

  The band?

• 43:30Declan Donnelly?

  For Roman numerals for 20, 20 years of takeaway.

• 43:33Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, right.

• 43:34Declan Donnelly?

  Surrounded by eight bananas, signed with the pod slogan, Respect Guys. That's from Luke.

• 43:40Ant McPartlin?

  Well.

• 43:40Declan Donnelly?

  And Rebecca.

• 43:41Ant McPartlin?

  Luke and Rebecca, as nice as that is, I feel like it's just a rip off of what we've already had. Do you remember we got all of these tattoos?

• 43:50Declan Donnelly?

  Yes.

• 43:50Ant McPartlin?

  And there was one in there with a pizza box and it said Saturday Night Takeaway.

• 43:54Declan Donnelly?

  And we got eight bananas.

• 43:56Ant McPartlin?

  So I don't think we can take this. I think they've just taken two ideas from previous people and amalgamated them, so.

• 44:03Declan Donnelly?

  Or maybe they haven't stolen the ideas, maybe it's just, you know, two people can have the same idea, just trying to be kind. Um, and maybe it's.

• 44:11Ant McPartlin?

  Intellectual theft.

• 44:13Ant McPartlin?

  Intellectual theft.

• 44:14Declan Donnelly?

  Maybe they've, maybe they've had the same idea and have come up with a similar design. We're not having it?

• 44:21Ant McPartlin?

  It's like rip off, but it's staying on the body.

• 44:24Declan Donnelly?

  Okay. This one is from Dawn.

• 44:26Ant McPartlin?

  Hi Dawn.

• 44:27Declan Donnelly?

  It is quite the design.

• 44:31Declan Donnelly?

  It is combining two of your favourite things.

• 44:33Ant McPartlin?

  You and?

• 44:34Declan Donnelly?

  No, well, no. Bananas, obs.

• 44:37Ant McPartlin?

  Obs.

• 44:38Declan Donnelly?

  And.

• 44:38Ant McPartlin?

  And?

• 44:39Declan Donnelly?

  The angel of the north.

• 44:39Ant McPartlin?

  Whoa, that's weird.

• 44:43Declan Donnelly?

  It's the angel of the north.

• 44:44Ant McPartlin?

  That's so weird.

• 44:45Declan Donnelly?

  Bananas. It's one big banana for the body.

• 44:47Ant McPartlin?

  That's so phallic and weird.

• 44:49Declan Donnelly?

  And then a huge banana across for the wings.

• 44:51Ant McPartlin?

  What?

• 44:52Declan Donnelly?

  It's a bit weird.

• 44:53Ant McPartlin?

  It's weird. I love it. It's creative and it's, it's a one off. Nobody, and I mean, nobody on this planet will have this tattoo. And I'm, and I'm for that.

• 45:04Declan Donnelly?

  The more you look at it, the more it draws you in.

• 45:09Ant McPartlin?

  Is that all we got then too?

• 45:10Declan Donnelly?

  No, no, no, I've got one more.

• 45:11Ant McPartlin?

  Okay.

• 45:12Declan Donnelly?

  But this is probably as good as a guest.

• 45:13Ant McPartlin?

  Stick it in the, stick it in the belly for now.

• 45:15Declan Donnelly?

  Okay.

• 45:15Ant McPartlin?

  I do have a tattoo across me belly there, uh, which is, uh, uh, winged sun. So I couldn't replace that. I'm not going to tattoo all of that with a banana. So I'm not going to.

• 45:25Declan Donnelly?

  So we could, cause we could, we could change your winged sun into.

• 45:28Ant McPartlin?

  No, no, no, I'm not changing them.

• 45:30Declan Donnelly?

  Change your wings into a banana.

• 45:31Ant McPartlin?

  Don't want to change your wings into banana. I love the angel of the north and I do like bananas. Therefore you're right, but together, I'm not sure.

• 45:41Declan Donnelly?

  Got one here from Bethan.

• 45:44Ant McPartlin?

  No, it's no, no, you're lying.

• 45:46Declan Donnelly?

  E.

• 45:47Ant McPartlin?

  Bethany, see, I knew it.

• 45:49Declan Donnelly?

  Hi, I'm Deck.

• 45:50Ant McPartlin?

  Hi.

• 45:50Declan Donnelly?

  Please find a touch my tattoo design for ant. It is a pair of cheeky monkeys. Sexy and nice.

• 45:58Declan Donnelly?

  Hanging out together.

• 45:59Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, I like it.

• 45:59Declan Donnelly?

  That's from Bethany.

• 46:00Ant McPartlin?

  That's cool. That's quite cool. Do you not like that?

• 46:04Declan Donnelly?

  I quite like it.

• 46:05Ant McPartlin?

  Do I have to put the sexy nice on? The kids are like that. I've had that. Two little cheeky monkeys. My wife loves monkeys. So I, I just say, I've got this for you.

• 46:12Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah.

• 46:13Ant McPartlin?

  I say, you know, you love monkeys and you know, you like sexy and nice things.

• 46:17Declan Donnelly?

  You're welcome.

• 46:18Ant McPartlin?

  You're welcome. I put them on, I put them together.

• 46:20Declan Donnelly?

  I like it.

• 46:21Ant McPartlin?

  I like it.

• 46:22Declan Donnelly?

  Where'd you put them?

• 46:24Ant McPartlin?

  On me arm. On me arm there. That's where I've got a gap on my left arm.

• 46:28Declan Donnelly?

  Okay. I quite like them. They're cheeky.

• 46:30Ant McPartlin?

  I like them. They are cheeky. Two little monkeys, sexy and nice. Ooh, ooh, ha, ha. Do your best monkey.

• 46:37Declan Donnelly?

  Ooh, ooh, ha, ha, ha.

• 46:38Ant McPartlin?

  Good, eh? I win.

• 46:41Ant McPartlin?

  Didn't win bowling. I didn't win that one. But I can make a better noise than a monkey.

• 46:45Declan Donnelly?

  That's it for this week.

• 46:46Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, God.

• 46:47Declan Donnelly?

  The day is drawing closer.

• 46:48Ant McPartlin?

  What have I done?

• 46:48Declan Donnelly?

  D day, decision day, T day, tattoo day.

• 46:53Ant McPartlin?

  In all seriousness, I thought there would be.

• 46:56Declan Donnelly?

  Better.

• 46:57Ant McPartlin?

  Better designs than this.

• 46:58Declan Donnelly?

  Nah, so's.

• 46:59Ant McPartlin?

  And I've committed, this will stay on my body forever. At the moment, there's nothing, and I mean nothing, the Simon Cowell picture included. There's nothing that I really wanna imprint my body with. And that's not gonna happen. I don't know why it's still on there.

• 47:14Declan Donnelly?

  I like it.

• 47:15Ant McPartlin?

  It's not set me world on fire though, and I've, and I've got to do it. I've committed to doing it. So I've got to do it. So please.

• 47:20Declan Donnelly?

  We've still got a couple of months.

• 47:21Ant McPartlin?

  This is a heartfelt plea to all of you out there. Um, get in touch with better designs and I, um, I'll pick the best one and imprint my body forever.

• 47:31Declan Donnelly?

  Hanging out at beltabox.com. Let's, let's raise the game.

• 47:36Declan Donnelly?

  I took the kids to the pictures the other day.

• 47:38Ant McPartlin?

  Did you?

• 47:39Declan Donnelly?

  To see The Magic Faraway Tree.

• 47:42Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, yeah.

• 47:44Declan Donnelly?

  Starring the lovely Claire Foy.

• 47:46Ant McPartlin?

  Lovely Claire Foy.

• 47:47Declan Donnelly?

  And Andrew Garfield loved it.

• 47:49Ant McPartlin?

  Did you?

• 47:50Declan Donnelly?

  It's so lovely.

• 47:50Ant McPartlin?

  Is it?

• 47:51Declan Donnelly?

  Well, I've never really read the book.

• 47:53Ant McPartlin?

  What do you mean, never really?

• 47:54Declan Donnelly?

  Well, I've read kind of every other chapter.

• 47:57Ant McPartlin?

  Right, why?

• 47:58Declan Donnelly?

  Because when we do bedtime with Isla, she's got the book, so I'll read a chapter. But then Ali does Isla the next night and then I do Jack.

• 48:09Ant McPartlin?

  Right.

• 48:09Declan Donnelly?

  So then Ali reads a chapter and then I come back the next night. So I've read every other chapter of the book. So sometimes I don't quite know what's going on.

• 48:16Ant McPartlin?

  Okay.

• 48:17Declan Donnelly?

  But so I've never really read the book, but I loved the movie.

• 48:20Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, good.

• 48:21Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah, it's really lovely. You can imagine it's going to be on telly every Easter from now on.

• 48:26Ant McPartlin?

  Right.

• 48:27Declan Donnelly?

  Great story, great performances. Claire Foy is fantastic as always. Garfield's brilliant.

• 48:34Ant McPartlin?

  Garfield?

• 48:34Declan Donnelly?

  Garfield the cat. No, he's not in it. Andrew Garfield's brilliant. Nicola Cochrane from Dairy Girls is a fairy who's fantastic. Mark Heap, who was in.

• 48:46Ant McPartlin?

  Friday Night Dinner?

• 48:47Declan Donnelly?

  Friday Night Dinner and in Our Thing on Saturday Night Takeaway. Which one? Bigwig?

• 48:53Ant McPartlin?

  Bigwig, Murderer Bigwig Manor?

• 48:55Declan Donnelly?

  That's it. He's fantastic in it. It's really lovely, really heartwarming, very funny. Written by Simon Farnaby, who wrote Paddington and Paddington Two.

• 49:04Ant McPartlin?

  I love the Paddington movies.

• 49:05Declan Donnelly?

  So he wrote it. It's very funny, very heartwarming.

• 49:08Ant McPartlin?

  Come on, get to it. Banana rating, please.

• 49:11Declan Donnelly?

  Seven and a half bananas.

• 49:13Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, wow. That's high. That's the highest you've ever given anything?

• 49:18Declan Donnelly?

  I think it is. It's lovely.

• 49:22Declan Donnelly?

  It's a little bit long. That was my only thing. Last 10 minutes, the kids.

• 49:25Ant McPartlin?

  What was the runtime?

• 49:26Declan Donnelly?

  This kid's got a little bit jittery. I reckon it was an hour and 45, hour and 50.

• 49:31Ant McPartlin?

  Right.

• 49:32Declan Donnelly?

  But it was just, the kids got a little bit twitchy at the end.

• 49:35Ant McPartlin?

  Right, okay.

• 49:36Declan Donnelly?

  But loved it.

• 49:38Ant McPartlin?

  Good. I'll watch it then.

• 49:39Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah, it's really good. It's really lovely. The kids love it.

• 49:41Ant McPartlin?

  Watched a good movie the other night.

• 49:43Declan Donnelly?

  Have we got a banana rating?

• 49:43Ant McPartlin?

  We do have a banana.

• 49:44Declan Donnelly?

  Come on, what was it?

• 49:45Ant McPartlin?

  So you and I love a heist movie, don't we?

• 49:48Declan Donnelly?

  Yes.

• 49:49Ant McPartlin?

  We do like a heist movie. It stars Chris Hemsworth.

• 49:53Declan Donnelly?

  Brilliant.

• 49:53Ant McPartlin?

  As the robber. It's called Crime 101. Terrible title.

• 49:57Declan Donnelly?

  That is, yeah.

• 49:58Ant McPartlin?

  It doesn't make sense.

• 49:59Declan Donnelly?

  It sounds like a BBC one daytime show.

• 50:01Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, it does, doesn't it?

• 50:02Declan Donnelly?

  Hosted by Gloria Honeyford, Angela Rippon.

• 50:07Ant McPartlin?

  Welcome to Crime 101. It's really good. It's really good. I'm not going to give anything away. I'll just say it's on Amazon, Prime Video. I would give it six out of eight bananas.

• 50:18Declan Donnelly?

  That's good.

• 50:19Ant McPartlin?

  That is good. Saturday night, if you want a big blockbuster-y movie, but it's not ridiculous blockbuster-y.

• 50:23Declan Donnelly?

  Oh, right. Good, okay.

• 50:24Ant McPartlin?

  It's got a good story to it, really good performances in it. He's particularly good. Crime 101. Terrible title, good movie.

• 50:32Declan Donnelly?

  There you go. Saturday night film, straight after Britain's Got Talent.

• 50:35Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, perfect. Six bananas.

• 50:37Declan Donnelly?

  Love it. The Chair Company.

• 50:38Ant McPartlin?

  Is it good?

• 50:39Declan Donnelly?

  It's very good.

• 50:41Ant McPartlin?

  Good.

• 50:41Declan Donnelly?

  Stars Tim Robinson.

• 50:43Ant McPartlin?

  From I Think You Should Leave?

• 50:44Declan Donnelly?

  I Think, I Think You Should Leave, which is a sketch show on Netflix.

• 50:47Ant McPartlin?

  Funny, the funniest, stupidest sketch show ever.

• 50:50Declan Donnelly?

  And this, this drama, comedy drama, is in the same vein of that.

• 50:55Ant McPartlin?

  Right.

• 50:55Declan Donnelly?

  It's about a guy who works in a company that builds shopping malls. And he's been promoted to look after this next big project, and he does a big speech at the very beginning. So he does his speech, he gets a round, big round of applause, and he walks over to the other side of the stage where other people who work there are sitting. And he sits on the chair and the chair collapses.

• 51:14Ant McPartlin?

  Right.

• 51:15Declan Donnelly?

  And everybody laughs at him and he goes back to his office and nobody mentions how good his speech was. They just go, oh my god, you fell off the chair. So he starts, so he wants to put a complaint into the Chair Company.

• 51:26Ant McPartlin?

  Right.

• 51:26Declan Donnelly?

  And so he Googles the Chair Company about how to make a complaint. And he can't quite get to the right place to make a complaint. And then he goes, so who is the Chair Company? And then he starts delving deeper and deeper into who the Chair Company is.

• 51:41Ant McPartlin?

  Right.

• 51:42Declan Donnelly?

  And there is a bigger story to it.

• 51:45Ant McPartlin?

  Funny?

• 51:46Declan Donnelly?

  Very funny, completely stupid.

• 51:50Ant McPartlin?

  Would my wife like it?

• 51:51Declan Donnelly?

  Probably not.

• 51:53Ant McPartlin?

  Okay.

• 51:54Declan Donnelly?

  It's a bit, it's a bit silly, but you get so involved in it. Where it starts out, it's such a stupid basis of eight, eight or 10 part series.

• 52:05Ant McPartlin?

  Right.

• 52:05Declan Donnelly?

  That he just wants to make a complaint because he fell off a chair.

• 52:08Ant McPartlin?

  Right.

• 52:08Declan Donnelly?

  And then he gets into a whole world of espionage and spying and. And breaking into warehouses.

• 52:15Ant McPartlin?

  I need to watch on my own.

• 52:16Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah, it's definitely.

• 52:17Ant McPartlin?

  On the way to Australia.

• 52:18Declan Donnelly?

  Well, I watched it on a plane.

• 52:20Ant McPartlin?

  Right, yeah, okay.

• 52:21Declan Donnelly?

  I, I did like seven episodes on the plane on my own.

• 52:24Ant McPartlin?

  Did you?

• 52:24Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah, it's great.

• 52:25Ant McPartlin?

  Right, okay, I'll watch it.

• 52:26Declan Donnelly?

  It's stupid, but funny, and it hooks you in.

• 52:29Ant McPartlin?

  Tell you where I'll watch it, on the way to film the new show that we've just announced, which hopefully will be getting their bananas in the future from you guys. Holy moly.

• 52:40Declan Donnelly?

  Oh, I'm so excited.

• 52:42Ant McPartlin?

  Know about it? We, we haven't talked about it on here before, have we? It is basically, it's, it's a brand new show. It's, it's been on in the States and in Australia. But it's a new show and it is a supersized version of mini golf, where the competitors play a supersized course in the hope of winning the plaid jacket, uh, goal and putter and a small prize total. But it's brilliant. Silly, funny, family friendly.

• 53:15Ant McPartlin?

  It's really good. Can't wait. Can't wait to start shooting it.

• 53:17Declan Donnelly?

  It's the world's biggest mini golf tournament. So you know like crazy golf where you have to hit it through the windmill? This windmill is massive and you hit the ball through the windmill and the propellers are going. And then you have to follow the ball through the windmill without getting hit.

• 53:30Ant McPartlin?

  And you might get hit.

• 53:31Declan Donnelly?

  And you might get hit. And if you get hit, you're off and you're in the water. There is a, um, a slip and slide one with a massive polar bear, um, that you have to, uh, climb up a slippery slope to hit your ball back down the slope.

• 53:45Ant McPartlin?

  There's another hole called corn hole where it's a giant sweet corn. And you've got to, um, hit your pot and then make your way past the sweet corn. But you don't know which piece of corn is going to pop out and turn into popcorn. And if it gets you, you're in the water.

• 54:01Declan Donnelly?

  So it's, it's big, it's silly, it's funny, but also it's very, very competitive.

• 54:08Ant McPartlin?

  And it's very us, because you know, we love golf. And I didn't give away my putt, did I, last week?

• 54:12Declan Donnelly?

  No, you didn't.

• 54:13Ant McPartlin?

  Last week's show.

• 54:13Declan Donnelly?

  Oh, that's why.

• 54:14Ant McPartlin?

  For a very good reason, Declan.

• 54:15Declan Donnelly?

  He's gonna use it.

• 54:16Ant McPartlin?

  I hope I can take on the course. We should definitely do the course.

• 54:20Declan Donnelly?

  Oh, yeah, we've got to.

• 54:21Ant McPartlin?

  I mean, we're not taking part, we're hosting it.

• 54:22Declan Donnelly?

  That's the only reason I'm doing the show, I wanna play it.

• 54:24Ant McPartlin?

  We wanna play, right?

• 54:25Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah, definitely.

• 54:26Ant McPartlin?

  Okay, good. We film that later in the air, so hopefully it'll be on air next year.

• 54:32Declan Donnelly?

  Shall we have some letters?

• 54:33Ant McPartlin?

  Yes, please.

• 54:33Declan Donnelly?

  Let me get the postbag.

• 54:35Ant McPartlin?

  Bringing all that.

• 54:35Declan Donnelly?

  Oh, there's a parcel in here.

• 54:37Ant McPartlin?

  Is there?

• 54:39Declan Donnelly?

  A parcel?

• 54:40Ant McPartlin?

  For me? Who's it for? Who's it for?

• 54:43Declan Donnelly?

  Is it an apple pencil?

• 54:44Ant McPartlin?

  It actually says, "Hang it out". Says, "Hang it out" here.

• 54:46Declan Donnelly?

  Oh, really?

• 54:47Ant McPartlin?

  On the, on the, uh, address. That's cool. Fragile. Fragile, eh?

• 54:54Ant McPartlin?

  What? Don't do that. Don't do that.

• 54:56Declan Donnelly?

  It's fragile.

• 54:56Ant McPartlin?

  Is it that fragile? Yeah. Oh, okay. Oh, I thought it was a joke.

• 55:02Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah, I often do that. Put fragile stuff and send it through the post, just for laughs.

• 55:09Ant McPartlin?

  Um, who can open this one? Either? Shall I start with this? Start with the fragile box?

• 55:14Declan Donnelly?

  Yes.

• 55:15Ant McPartlin?

  Just bashed.

• 55:17Ant McPartlin?

  Oh. To Ant and Dec, really enjoying the pod, and it's taken me back to the SMTV Live years. I used to write in all the time. Uh, I phoned in for Wonky Donkey, and I even sent in a massive crisp, but it never got featured. Sad face. Doing a sad face. I was in some crisps today. Oh, no.

• 55:41Declan Donnelly?

  Ah, I can see where this is going.

• 55:43Ant McPartlin?

  And I saw this one. Hopefully it gets you in one piece. Mmm, sauce.

• 55:48Declan Donnelly?

  Well, it did get us in one piece, whether it's still in one piece now.

• 55:50Ant McPartlin?

  Respect, guys. Candies. Uh, PS, it does make it, if it does make it, need a postbag. In one piece, I think I deserve a prize.

• 55:58Declan Donnelly?

  Okay. So if you don't remember this from Saturday mornings from SMTV, there was one Friday night, I was round my house eating a bag of crisps and I pulled out the biggest crisp out of my crisp packet. And I was so excited, I ran round to Ant's house and knocked on the door, I said, "Look at the size of this." And he said, "Bring it in tomorrow and we'll do it off the show." So we just showed a massive crisp and got people to send in big items of food that they found.

• 56:22Ant McPartlin?

  But then we started eating them, I started eating the crisps.

• 56:24Declan Donnelly?

  Live on air.

• 56:25Ant McPartlin?

  And it wasn't until somebody said to us, "What, people might have spat on the crisps or anything." "Oh yeah, I didn't think of that. I just thought it was funny."

• 56:33Declan Donnelly?

  This is quite exciting.

• 56:35Ant McPartlin?

  So let's slide it out on the desk.

• 56:39Declan Donnelly?

  This is brilliantly packed.

• 56:42Ant McPartlin?

  This is like something from the antics roadshow, you know, when they're like slowly unwrapping it with white gloves on. Is this?

• 56:56Ant McPartlin?

  It's alright.

• 56:58Declan Donnelly?

  It's just a crisp.

• 57:01Ant McPartlin?

  Candice, it's just a crisp. So that's just like a normal crisp, isn't it?

• 57:07Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah, that's, that's what.

• 57:08Ant McPartlin?

  Hold on, I've got some crisps out here. Right, I bought some crisps here, right, for lunch. So this is, this is not set up, let's just see if there's any sizes in here. Well, maybe just have one. Any sizes in here?

• 57:24Declan Donnelly?

  No, no.

• 57:25Ant McPartlin?

  That's the biggest one.

• 57:27Declan Donnelly?

  That one and that one.

• 57:28Ant McPartlin?

  Hold on. It is pretty big. But that's a small bag. If I was to buy like, you know, a big grab bag, I'd expect to be a crisp about that size.

• 57:40Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah.

• 57:40Ant McPartlin?

  What does it taste like though?

• 57:42Declan Donnelly?

  Well, it smells.

• 57:43Ant McPartlin?

  Oh.

• 57:45Declan Donnelly?

  It's like a ham, like a jambon, like a chamon.

• 57:49Ant McPartlin?

  Oh yeah, it smells good.

• 57:50Declan Donnelly?

  Like a hamon.

• 57:51Ant McPartlin?

  Trying to get these mixed up. Thanks Candice.

• 57:55Ant McPartlin?

  Nice trip down memory lane and all that, but you're not going to win a prize.

• 57:58Declan Donnelly?

  I expected more.

• 57:59Ant McPartlin?

  I expected much more.

• 58:00Declan Donnelly?

  That was quite a build up.

• 58:01Ant McPartlin?

  That was a big build up, there's a lot of unwrapping, as unboxing videos go.

• 58:07Ant McPartlin?

  It was, it felt quite short.

• 58:09Declan Donnelly?

  That's not really doing it for me.

• 58:10Ant McPartlin?

  Nah, throw it in the bin.

• 58:12Declan Donnelly?

  No.

• 58:12Ant McPartlin?

  What, I'm not gonna wrap it back up? Put it on the shelf. Put it on the shelf, good idea.

• 58:16Declan Donnelly?

  And let's see how long it lasts.

• 58:17Ant McPartlin?

  Put it in front of Baby John Pork and see if it lasts. There we go. I appreciate the trip down memory lane, Candice. Thank you very much.

• 58:24Declan Donnelly?

  Got one here from Paul.

• 58:27Ant McPartlin?

  Hi Paul.

• 58:27Declan Donnelly?

  Hi Ant Dec. Me and my partner Holly went to Tesco the other day and was surprised to see Aunt's van parked in the car park. Does Dec know you have another job? Cleaning ovens?

• 58:39Ant McPartlin?

  What? It's him again! It's him again! That's the guy from the ice cream!

• 58:45Declan Donnelly?

  That's so good.

• 58:46Ant McPartlin?

  That is the guy from the ice cream!

• 58:48Declan Donnelly?

  That's so good.

• 58:49Ant McPartlin?

  How are they getting away with this? How are they doing this?

• 58:53Declan Donnelly?

  We've got to recreate this at the end of the pod.

• 58:55Ant McPartlin?

  Okay, we'll do that.

• 58:56Declan Donnelly?

  Obviously we had to take a photo. Respect, guys. Paul.

• 58:58Ant McPartlin?

  I get it. I get it. Somebody is ripping me off, big style. And I don't like it. Once was fun, two is copyright infringement. Anyone got a sponge? Oh, it's wet! What have you been wiping up?

• 59:13Declan Donnelly?

  Uh, can you recreate that?

• 59:14Ant McPartlin?

  I think I probably can.

• 59:15Declan Donnelly?

  Left hand up?

• 59:16Ant McPartlin?

  Up.

• 59:17Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah.

• 59:17Ant McPartlin?

  Thumbs up when I look at you.

• 59:19Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah, head tilted slightly to your left. And looking down, and that's it. And just, and turn your thumb out a bit. Ah, see? And stretch it out a bit.

• 59:29Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah!

• 59:32Declan Donnelly?

  There he is. There he is. I love it.

• 59:36Ant McPartlin?

  I'm gonna sue. Not, not this guy. Whoever comes up with that, it's me. So they're just using me to advertise different services and products.

• 59:47Declan Donnelly?

  You've got a trustworthy face.

• 59:48Ant McPartlin?

  To find out who I can sue, I'm gonna sue the illustrator. But thanks, thanks for your love.

• 59:55Ant McPartlin?

  This is an advert for Santander. Who understand that saving for your first home can feel almost impossible and the road to owning can be a bumpy one.

• 1:00:03Declan Donnelly?

  First one here is from Alex. Dear Aggie and Dandare.

• 1:00:07Ant McPartlin?

  Yes.

• 1:00:07Declan Donnelly?

  I need your help.

• 1:00:08Ant McPartlin?

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:00:08Declan Donnelly?

  I live with a housemate and she is so messy.

• 1:00:11Ant McPartlin?

  Ah.

• 1:00:12Declan Donnelly?

  There's always hair clogging the sink, piles of dirty dishes on the side. I hate that. Moldy fruit in the fridge and she never takes the bins out.

• 1:00:20Ant McPartlin?

  Oh.

• 1:00:21Declan Donnelly?

  I'm looking to buy soon, so I know this isn't a forever problem, but it's really getting to me and I feel like I should say or do something. I'm not great with confrontation though, and we're both in the house a lot, so I don't want to cause any friction. Any advice on how to manage the situation?

• 1:00:34Ant McPartlin?

  You've kind of boxed yourself in here, haven't you?

• 1:00:36Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah.

• 1:00:36Ant McPartlin?

  You're not great with confrontation and you don't want to say too much, yet these things are building up inside you and you've got resentment. It's going to come out one way or the other. So whether, whether you confront that person directly or it comes out indirectly in a massive row about something trivial, it's going to come out.

• 1:00:55Declan Donnelly?

  Is there a way you could do it with like a, um, maybe a chart on the fridge?

• 1:01:02Ant McPartlin?

  Yes, charts work. My daughters at uni and that's what they do.

• 1:01:04Declan Donnelly?

  Right, okay.

• 1:01:05Ant McPartlin?

  She got the chart system in and I think that's the way, it's the fairest way to do it, some kind of chart system.

• 1:01:10Declan Donnelly?

  Jobs on a chart. Alex, you might have to just do the bins. You might just have to suck it up.

• 1:01:15Ant McPartlin?

  That's all right. Bins is easy. Bins is actually easier.

• 1:01:19Declan Donnelly?

  Bins is easy.

• 1:01:19Ant McPartlin?

  It is. Hairs in the sink. I'd much rather do the bins than hairs in the sink. Pick and choose your jobs. But if they're slovenly and they're slobby, there's not a lot you can do about that. Just take away the calendar till the day you move out.

• 1:01:34Declan Donnelly?

  I think a chart on the fridge, uh, rotor jobs.

• 1:01:37Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, you've got to rotor it.

• 1:01:38Declan Donnelly?

  And, yeah, and if the jobs aren't done, then there's a penalty, like she's got to buy a takeaway. Got another one here. This is from Chloe. Dear Agony Antanday.

• 1:01:51Ant McPartlin?

  Hi.

• 1:01:52Declan Donnelly?

  My boyfriend and I have recently bought our first place together.

• 1:01:54Ant McPartlin?

  Woo hoo.

• 1:01:55Declan Donnelly?

  And I've been so excited to properly decorate and make the place our own. However.

• 1:02:00Ant McPartlin?

  Ah.

• 1:02:01Declan Donnelly?

  There was one small issue. We completely clash in our taste of what looks good. I wanted to be a calm space, neutral colours, tasteful prints, nice candle on the coffee table. My boyfriend on the other hand, has this gnome wearing a football kit. He wants to keep in the living room, wooden ducks in wellies and a collection of ugly canvases he wants on the walls. We obviously had these things in our last place when we were renting, but it was so tiny. I managed to convince him there wasn't space and to keep them all in storage.

• 1:02:30Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah.

• 1:02:30Declan Donnelly?

  But now it's our proper home together.

• 1:02:32Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah.

• 1:02:32Declan Donnelly?

  I don't feel like I'm hating on his things.

• 1:02:34Ant McPartlin?

  But you are.

• 1:02:35Declan Donnelly?

  But at the same time, they are horrible.

• 1:02:36Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah.

• 1:02:37Declan Donnelly?

  Any advice on how I should handle it?

• 1:02:38Ant McPartlin?

  Dump him. Dump him. He has terrible taste.

• 1:02:42Declan Donnelly?

  Dump him and his ugly stuff.

• 1:02:43Ant McPartlin?

  Dump him and his ugly. You can't put that, you know, you're mature now. You've grown. You can't be putting that crap there.

• 1:02:50Declan Donnelly?

  That's for student digs and for.

• 1:02:52Ant McPartlin?

  Yes, that's for rented accommodation and studio, you know, house shares. It's not for your first home together.

• 1:02:58Declan Donnelly?

  No.

• 1:02:59Ant McPartlin?

  But I do think they should be compromised. It can't all be her way.

• 1:03:02Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah.

• 1:03:02Ant McPartlin?

  She seems quite controlling. Maybe she's the problem.

• 1:03:06Ant McPartlin?

  Um, give a little.

• 1:03:09Declan Donnelly?

  Give a little bit.

• 1:03:09Ant McPartlin?

  Life is all about compromises. You've got to give a little bit.

• 1:03:12Declan Donnelly?

  You do.

• 1:03:13Ant McPartlin?

  What's the least offensive thing?

• 1:03:15Declan Donnelly?

  They all sound quite offensive.

• 1:03:17Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, they do.

• 1:03:17Declan Donnelly?

  The no more in a football kit.

• 1:03:19Ant McPartlin?

  Depends what football kit is. If it's black and white stripes, that's not offensive to me.

• 1:03:22Declan Donnelly?

  You can't, look, he can have the norm in the house, but maybe not in the living room.

• 1:03:25Ant McPartlin?

  In the back on. The norm is for the gone, right? So that's interesting. I think if you're looking out the, the, the kitchen window and we put it right in our line of sight, that would be better because every morning you come down and say, morning norm, like dress it up like he's a really good idea. Make him think that he's had the idea.

• 1:03:43Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah.

• 1:03:43Ant McPartlin?

  Or put everything on the side and then accidentally break them.

• 1:03:47Declan Donnelly?

  I mean, that is the other thing, isn't it?

• 1:03:48Ant McPartlin?

  That's the way to do it.

• 1:03:49Declan Donnelly?

  When he comes back one day from the pub and, oh God, Normie's heads fell off.

• 1:03:54Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah.

• 1:03:54Declan Donnelly?

  It was a, there's been a terrible accident. Bit of compromise.

• 1:03:57Ant McPartlin?

  Compromise.

• 1:03:58Declan Donnelly?

  But definitely don't let him have it in the living room.

• 1:04:00Ant McPartlin?

  Nah.

• 1:04:01Declan Donnelly?

  Santander's First Home Saver account encourages you to save a little and often, rewarding you with a prize draw every time you save a hundred pounds. You've got the chance to win ten thousand pounds that could go straight towards your first home deposit.

• 1:04:15Ant McPartlin?

  Save for a chance to win. Search Santander First Home Saver. T's and C's please.

• 1:04:21Speaker 04

  Eighteen plus UK residents only, one times ten K pounds?

• 1:04:26Declan Donnelly?

  Ten thousand?

• 1:04:27Ant McPartlin?

  Ten thousand pounds. Yeah, yeah.

• 1:04:28Speaker 04

  Thousand pounds. Eighteen plus UK residents only, one times ten thousand pounds prize per month for May to December twenty twenty six. Gain an entry into months draw. Every one hundred pounds increase your Santander First Home Saver account balance within that month. Max one hundred entries per customer per month. T's and C's apply.

• 1:04:43Ant McPartlin?

  We should know. For once, I, once I.

• 1:04:45Declan Donnelly?

  Made a mess of that. God. Santander. It starts here.

• 1:04:51Declan Donnelly?

  Well then, that's all we've got time for this week.

• 1:04:52Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, just briefly.

• 1:04:53Declan Donnelly?

  Yes.

• 1:04:54Ant McPartlin?

  Still haven't spent anything.

• 1:04:56Declan Donnelly?

  Have you not?

• 1:04:56Ant McPartlin?

  No, so can I quickly, just before we go, can I have a banana?

• 1:04:58Declan Donnelly?

  Oh yeah, go on.

• 1:05:01Ant McPartlin?

  This is week three, still haven't bought. Thank you very much. Don't want to make it all about me, but give me a banana, I think. Woah, I love the noise of that, thank you.

• 1:05:11Declan Donnelly?

  That's really good going.

• 1:05:12Ant McPartlin?

  Thank you very much.

• 1:05:13Speaker 04

  Jack, we've just found out that those shoes are worth £400, so you know.

• 1:05:17Declan Donnelly?

  My trainers, that I'm gonna swap?

• 1:05:19Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:05:20Ant McPartlin?

  It's £400 quid?

• 1:05:20Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:05:22Ant McPartlin?

  I told you, I told you they'd be like a collab or something, something rare.

• 1:05:25Declan Donnelly?

  Is it too late to put them on eBay?

• 1:05:27Ant McPartlin?

  You can't, you can't pull that out now.

• 1:05:28Declan Donnelly?

  Why not?

• 1:05:29Ant McPartlin?

  You can't pull out, no that's it. No, you've said you're gonna swap them.

• 1:05:32Declan Donnelly?

  You're kidding me.

• 1:05:33Ant McPartlin?

  Get in touch if you want a pair of £400 trainers.

• 1:05:36Declan Donnelly?

  Oh my god, I feel sick.

• 1:05:36Ant McPartlin?

  Thanks for listening, guys. See you next week. Respect, guys. Come on, get them out of here. Can't change your mind.

• 1:05:42Declan Donnelly?

  Oh.

• 1:05:42Ant McPartlin?

  That's it.

• 1:05:43Declan Donnelly?

  I'm gonna have to sort this out.

• 1:05:44Ant McPartlin?

  Bye.