Ant Is Disgusted By Dec & Our First Movie Script Table Read

Welcome back to The Hang Out - as Dec's now calling it (how very relaxed and nonchalant of him...) This week the boys are feeling sexy and nice ahead of Valentine's Day, the diary is back, accompanied by one of YOUR jingles and the boys discover a rather surprising place their images have been used... We also get our first table read of a film script that's been sent in, and Ant loses it with Dec's antics on a plane. Thank you for all your questions, comments, locations and ideas - we love them! Keep them coming to [email protected] ----- 01.48 - Coming up on today's show! 04:08 - Everyone asking Ant about his pants 06:11 - Salad Fingers 06:53 - Listeners Map 10:00 - Ant & Dec take Antigua 13:52 - Valentine’s Day plans, things get sexy and nice 18:03 - Ant’s in trouble with his daughter 19:10 - Ant & Dec rate their recent TV/Film watches 23:50 - Dec disgusts Ant 26:30 - Table read of a film script 33:29 - Dec’s Diary 40:56 - Postbag 47:43 - Next week’s Mystery Door Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Ant McPartlin?

  This podcast is sponsored by Santander, who understand that getting started on a goal isn't easy and taking a meaningful first step is how progress happens. Right, you know 2026 is the year I want to get organised.

• 0:12Declan Donnelly?

  Yes.

• 0:13Ant McPartlin?

  How? You're quite organised. You're quite an organised person.

• 0:19Declan Donnelly?

  It's all about the list.

• 0:19Ant McPartlin?

  Is it though?

• 0:20Declan Donnelly?

  I don't make that many lists, but my wife gives me a lot of lists.

• 0:23Ant McPartlin?

  Ah, okay.

• 0:23Declan Donnelly?

  And it does help.

• 0:24Ant McPartlin?

  Right, so.

• 0:25Declan Donnelly?

  Item one on the list.

• 0:26Ant McPartlin?

  Right list.

• 0:27Declan Donnelly?

  Item one, right list. Item two.

• 0:29Ant McPartlin?

  Item two. Well, I've been putting this one off a bit.

• 0:32Declan Donnelly?

  Go on.

• 0:33Ant McPartlin?

  It's a bit of a challenge. Create the biggest podcast in the world.

• 0:36Declan Donnelly?

  Right, that's, that's good. I think you might need to break it down into smaller chunks.

• 0:41Ant McPartlin?

  Career podcast?

• 0:42Declan Donnelly?

  No, no, no, I think you need to kind of go, right, okay, come up with some interesting talking points for a podcast.

• 0:48Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, so write that down, yeah?

• 0:49Declan Donnelly?

  I would write that down. And then maybe another item on the list, listen to other podcasts for inspiration.

• 0:56Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, yeah.

• 0:57Declan Donnelly?

  I know it can be quite nerve wracking.

• 0:58Ant McPartlin?

  I'm not nervous.

• 0:59Declan Donnelly?

  No.

• 1:00Ant McPartlin?

  Not nervous?

• 1:00Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah.

• 1:01Ant McPartlin?

  Just kind of writing a list for the first time.

• 1:03Declan Donnelly?

  Well, look, we've.

• 1:03Ant McPartlin?

  Not nervous.

• 1:04Declan Donnelly?

  We've done loads of things that haven't worked in the past. We're no strangers to failure, my friend.

• 1:08Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, yeah, we failed.

• 1:08Declan Donnelly?

  Think of the amount of times you've fallen over on live TV.

• 1:11Ant McPartlin?

  Lots of times.

• 1:11Declan Donnelly?

  Lots of times. So you can't be afraid of failure, but what you've got to do is just make a list of how to attack your goal.

• 1:18Ant McPartlin?

  I'm making a list then, I'm checking it twice. Is that good? Should I sing?

• 1:23Declan Donnelly?

  Don't sing.

• 1:23Ant McPartlin?

  Okay.

• 1:24Declan Donnelly?

  Definitely don't sing.

• 1:24Ant McPartlin?

  I get what you're saying though, so break it down, smaller chunks.

• 1:28Declan Donnelly?

  Exactly that.

• 1:29Ant McPartlin?

  I was feeling a little overwhelmed, but thanks to you, I'm doing it.

• 1:33Declan Donnelly?

  Thank you.

• 1:34Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, hold on. Thanks, Dex. Cross that off the list.

• 1:39Declan Donnelly?

  And that's what Santander is doing, giving people the confidence to take that first step towards a goal that matters to them.

• 1:46Ant McPartlin?

  Santander, it starts here. Coming up on the show, we hear about our holiday to Antigua and Dex's burnt bits.

• 1:55Ant McPartlin?

  They were purple, it was so bad.

• 1:57Declan Donnelly?

  The first table read of our new phone script.

• 2:00Ant McPartlin?

  You're still an idiot?

• 2:01Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah. But I'm your idiot.

• 2:05Ant McPartlin?

  I found out what Dex gets up to on a long haul flight and it disgusts me.

• 2:10Declan Donnelly?

  Do you know what I put on the TV? The.

• 2:12Ant McPartlin?

  You're a psychopath?

• 2:14Declan Donnelly?

  We find out we're famous in Russia for a very bizarre reason. It still cracks me up that without even knowing it, a bunch of confused kids were learning English off you lot.

• 2:24Ant McPartlin?

  And we have some sexy nice chats about Valentine's Day.

• 2:27Declan Donnelly?

  I didn't mean to say that.

• 2:32Declan Donnelly?

  I didn't mean to say that.

• 2:34Ant McPartlin?

  Enjoy the show.

• 2:40Declan Donnelly?

  Hello, everybody.

• 2:41Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, my dear, it ticked in. Hold on, get the lights on.

• 2:45Declan Donnelly?

  Turn the lights on.

• 2:46Ant McPartlin?

  Respect, guys. Hardly turn respect, guys, on again.

• 2:49Declan Donnelly?

  Just have a bit of respect.

• 2:50Ant McPartlin?

  Respect, guys. And that thing, I don't know. I do it every week, I forget.

• 2:56Declan Donnelly?

  Hello, everybody. Good morning, good evening. Welcome to-

• 2:58Ant McPartlin?

  To the Hangout.

• 3:01Declan Donnelly?

  Have you got a problem with that?

• 3:02Ant McPartlin?

  No.

• 3:03Declan Donnelly?

  Welcome back to the Hangout. For more hanging out with him and me. You all right?

• 3:08Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, good, thanks.

• 3:09Declan Donnelly?

  Good.

• 3:10Ant McPartlin?

  Bit frustrated. Because, do you know what? Do you know what I find, which is different to TV, is normally if a show, one of our shows goes out-

• 3:18Declan Donnelly?

  Hang on, we're not on air yet.

• 3:19Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, hold on.

• 3:20Declan Donnelly?

  Sorry.

• 3:21Ant McPartlin?

  We're not turning your screen anymore.

• 3:22Declan Donnelly?

  I'm just turning our light on.

• 3:23Ant McPartlin?

  We're on air.

• 3:24Declan Donnelly?

  We're on air. Now we can hear you.

• 3:25Ant McPartlin?

  Well, one of the shows goes out, right? Or we're live.

• 3:28Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah.

• 3:28Ant McPartlin?

  The next day, or the next couple of days, people come up and talk to you about the show.

• 3:32Declan Donnelly?

  Yes.

• 3:32Ant McPartlin?

  What I'm finding now with a podcast and being on, you know, on YouTube, is people listen to it or watch it whenever they want. So weeks can go by. And they, but they've just listened to it for the first time.

• 3:45Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah.

• 3:45Ant McPartlin?

  So I had a woman this morning, as I was walking back from the butchers, and a woman screamed out- Yeah, it's good, thanks. And funnily enough, he is very good friends with your butcher.

• 3:56Declan Donnelly?

  With Rodney?

• 3:56Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, he knows Rodney really well.

• 3:59Declan Donnelly?

  These butchers, you see?

• 4:00Ant McPartlin?

  You see, they're a tight-knit community.

• 4:02Declan Donnelly?

  The whole community.

• 4:03Ant McPartlin?

  You can't get a sausage between them, they're that tight. I did that again.

• 4:06Declan Donnelly?

  You did do that. Don't do that, ring finger.

• 4:08Ant McPartlin?

  So, I was walking along the road and a car pulled up at the lights, and this woman looked at us like that, obviously saw it was me, was furiously trying to press the button to get the window down.

• 4:19Declan Donnelly?

  Yes.

• 4:19Ant McPartlin?

  By the time the window got down, the lights had changed, so her husband drove up, but she still screamed out, "How much were your pants on?"

• 4:26Declan Donnelly?

  Oh, no.

• 4:26Ant McPartlin?

  And I had to scream back the figure.

• 4:29Declan Donnelly?

  Oh, you screamed back?

• 4:30Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, because that was my promise. I said, "If you ask me in person, I will tell you the figure, but I'm never going to say it on here." Anyway, I screamed back the figure and she'd gone through the lights and she was about six cars away, but she still heard, and the response was this.

• 4:47Declan Donnelly?

  We'll have to bleep that.

• 4:48Ant McPartlin?

  We'll have to bleep that.

• 4:49Declan Donnelly?

  We're gonna bleep that.

• 4:50Ant McPartlin?

  Anyway, so yeah, that's my ramblings.

• 4:52Declan Donnelly?

  I was also walking down the street. This wasn't today, this was the other day. And there was two, well, there was three Canada geese.

• 4:59Ant McPartlin?

  What?

• 5:00Declan Donnelly?

  Canada geese.

• 5:01Ant McPartlin?

  Coat, like the coat? But actual real?

• 5:03Declan Donnelly?

  Not three coats, there were three geese.

• 5:04Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, okay, yeah.

• 5:05Declan Donnelly?

  They're Canadian geese.

• 5:06Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah.

• 5:06Declan Donnelly?

  I don't know.

• 5:06Ant McPartlin?

  Canadian geese, which is how it says it.

• 5:08Declan Donnelly?

  Maybe.

• 5:09Ant McPartlin?

  Canadian.

• 5:10Declan Donnelly?

  All right.

• 5:13Declan Donnelly?

  I think I'll just leave it on there. There was three Canadian geese. Obviously, two males fighting over a female.

• 5:19Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, yeah.

• 5:19Declan Donnelly?

  There was a woman there trying to split them up. She had a cardboard coffee cup. She was throwing them at the geese to split these two guys up. One of them flew off, the other one chased it, left the female there. She went, oh. She went, oh, it's you! I went, oh, yeah. She went, how much rans, Pat?

• 5:39Ant McPartlin?

  Did you tell her?

• 5:40Declan Donnelly?

  I told her.

• 5:41Ant McPartlin?

  That wasn't part of the plan. It was only people asked me personally.

• 5:45Declan Donnelly?

  Am I not allowed to tell them?

• 5:45Ant McPartlin?

  Well, you can now. Okay, now, now, that is still part of the deal. You told her. What was her response? Did she say?

• 5:53Declan Donnelly?

  No, she didn't. She just went, oh. She kind of laughed. I think she'd had a lot going on.

• 5:58Ant McPartlin?

  With the geese.

• 5:59Declan Donnelly?

  With the whole geese fighting thing.

• 6:00Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah.

• 6:01Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah. What an intro, what a start.

• 6:02Ant McPartlin?

  What a good, good start. That was like a cold opening, that. We're straight in. Thank you very much for your comments. Still haven't looked at them. I presume you guys have. Have you looked at them?

• 6:11Declan Donnelly?

  I have.

• 6:12Ant McPartlin?

  Have we?

• 6:12Declan Donnelly?

  I have.

• 6:13Ant McPartlin?

  We've got more flags to add to the world map?

• 6:14Declan Donnelly?

  Our reach.

• 6:16Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, don't, please don't do that. There's something really creepy about it.

• 6:20Declan Donnelly?

  What, just?

• 6:21Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, it's because your sleeves are open, your fingers go out. There's something really odd, isn't it? Lola?

• 6:28Speaker 02

  It's like, um, have you seen Salad Fingers on YouTube?

• 6:31Ant McPartlin?

  Salad Fingers? No, but I'm def-

• 6:33Speaker 02

  Rusty Spoon?

• 6:34Ant McPartlin?

  Do that and say, I like Rusty Spoons. Go, go viral, that's what all the kids are doing.

• 6:39Declan Donnelly?

  I like Rusty Spoon.

• 6:41Speaker 02

  In a bit more of a witchy way.

• 6:42Ant McPartlin?

  A bit more of a witchy-

• 6:43Declan Donnelly?

  I like Rusty Spoon.

• 6:46Ant McPartlin?

  Perfect.

• 6:47Declan Donnelly?

  Right, we're gonna clip that up. You're gonna clip that up, aren't you?

• 6:49Ant McPartlin?

  Clip that up and put it out there. So let's find out our reach.

• 6:51Declan Donnelly?

  Let me, get me that. I went through the comments pretty quickly. And picked some of them, so.

• 6:58Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, so you put some on already?

• 6:59Declan Donnelly?

  The map is work in progress. All the yellow flags in there are the new ones.

• 7:03Ant McPartlin?

  Oh.

• 7:03Declan Donnelly?

  So.

• 7:04Ant McPartlin?

  I've just seen one. I've seen one I'm intrigued about.

• 7:06Declan Donnelly?

  Charlotte is listening in Mauritius.

• 7:08Ant McPartlin?

  Mauritius, amazing, which is in the.

• 7:11Declan Donnelly?

  Indian Ocean.

• 7:12Ant McPartlin?

  Ocean, which is round about here, there.

• 7:15Declan Donnelly?

  There.

• 7:15Ant McPartlin?

  There it is, next to Madagascar.

• 7:17Declan Donnelly?

  Ever been?

• 7:17Ant McPartlin?

  Yes, I have. Yeah, I've been to Mauritius. Have you ever been?

• 7:21Declan Donnelly?

  Yes, I have.

• 7:22Ant McPartlin?

  Ooh, fancy.

• 7:24Declan Donnelly?

  Do you know how to say hello in Mauritian?

• 7:26Ant McPartlin?

  I don't.

• 7:27Declan Donnelly?

  Bonjour.

• 7:28Ant McPartlin?

  Bonjour, bit like, bit like bonjour, bon, bon.

• 7:31Declan Donnelly?

  Bonjour. Matt is in New Zealand.

• 7:34Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, we know where that is. Not that we've ever been. Do you know, we go to Australia every year for our Miss Liberty and I always say, next year I'm gonna carry on this trip and go to New Zealand and we never have.

• 7:44Declan Donnelly?

  Never been?

• 7:45Ant McPartlin?

  Never been.

• 7:45Declan Donnelly?

  I would love to go.

• 7:46Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, I would too.

• 7:47Declan Donnelly?

  Shaun and Laura are listening in Bangkok, in Thailand.

• 7:50Ant McPartlin?

  Are they?

• 7:50Declan Donnelly?

  Yes. Lou's in Hong Kong.

• 7:52Ant McPartlin?

  Hong Kong? No, never been.

• 7:53Declan Donnelly?

  Never been to Hong Kong.

• 7:54Ant McPartlin?

  Never been to Hong Kong. Love to go. I would love to go.

• 7:57Declan Donnelly?

  Hello, Lou in Hong Kars. Valerie is in Vancouver Island. Have you ever been?

• 8:00Ant McPartlin?

  Never been to Canada.

• 8:01Declan Donnelly?

  Never been to Canada. Do you know how to say hello in Canadian?

• 8:04Ant McPartlin?

  Hello. Am I right?

• 8:06Declan Donnelly?

  Or, or bonjour if you're in French.

• 8:09Ant McPartlin?

  Hello there, buddy.

• 8:11Declan Donnelly?

  Mike is in Dubai.

• 8:13Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, he's been to Dubai.

• 8:14Declan Donnelly?

  Ever been?

• 8:14Ant McPartlin?

  Yes.

• 8:15Declan Donnelly?

  Please, where shall I ask you? Lindsay is in, Lindsay's listening in New York City.

• 8:21Ant McPartlin?

  Ever been?

• 8:22Declan Donnelly?

  I am asking you.

• 8:22Ant McPartlin?

  Well, I could ask you. This is how conversations work. You ask something, then I ask something back. Have you ever been to New York City?

• 8:29Declan Donnelly?

  Yes, I've been to New York City.

• 8:31Ant McPartlin?

  How do you say hello in New York City speak?

• 8:33Declan Donnelly?

  How, hey, hold there. Hello there. Ha! Hey, get out of the way.

• 8:37Ant McPartlin?

  We've got to do, we've got to do an accent special one week.

• 8:42Declan Donnelly?

  Hey.

• 8:42Ant McPartlin?

  To show how bad we are.

• 8:43Declan Donnelly?

  Hey, how you doing?

• 8:45Ant McPartlin?

  I'm walking here.

• 8:46Declan Donnelly?

  That's good.

• 8:46Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, thanks.

• 8:47Declan Donnelly?

  Lee is in Cape Town.

• 8:49Ant McPartlin?

  I've also been.

• 8:52Ant McPartlin?

  Not that you ask.

• 8:53Declan Donnelly?

  Have you ever been?

• 8:54Ant McPartlin?

  Yes, several times.

• 8:57Declan Donnelly?

  Lee is in Cape Town.

• 8:58Ant McPartlin?

  Cape Town?

• 8:59Declan Donnelly?

  Cape Town, South Africa.

• 9:00Ant McPartlin?

  Go on.

• 9:01Declan Donnelly?

  What? Have you, have you ever been?

• 9:03Ant McPartlin?

  Yes. See, even when you're meant to ask, you forget to ask. So I'll ask you, have you ever been?

• 9:08Declan Donnelly?

  You, you interrupted my flow before.

• 9:10Ant McPartlin?

  Have you ever been to Cape Town?

• 9:11Declan Donnelly?

  Yes.

• 9:11Ant McPartlin?

  Did you like it?

• 9:12Declan Donnelly?

  Yes.

• 9:12Ant McPartlin?

  Do you know how to say hello?

• 9:13Declan Donnelly?

  Hello.

• 9:14Speaker 03

  Or how's it?

• 9:16Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, how's it?

• 9:17Declan Donnelly?

  How's it?

• 9:17Ant McPartlin?

  How's it? We've just got back from South Africa.

• 9:19Declan Donnelly?

  We've been filming for, I'm a celebrity, and all the crew in the morning go, how's it?

• 9:24Ant McPartlin?

  How's it?

• 9:24Declan Donnelly?

  How's it?

• 9:25Ant McPartlin?

  How's it? How's it?

• 9:26Speaker 03

  How's it?

• 9:27Declan Donnelly?

  I think I asked.

• 9:28Ant McPartlin?

  How was it? It was really good.

• 9:30Declan Donnelly?

  I didn't realise it was a thing. I was like, it's fine.

• 9:33Ant McPartlin?

  What is the it you're referring to? But we had a great time in South Africa.

• 9:38Declan Donnelly?

  Esther is in Serbia.

• 9:40Ant McPartlin?

  Ever been?

• 9:41Declan Donnelly?

  Ever been?

• 9:41Ant McPartlin?

  See, you forget to ask the que- so you're meant to ask it.

• 9:44Declan Donnelly?

  You interrupted me flow and you've put us right off.

• 9:46Ant McPartlin?

  Oh yeah, my fault.

• 9:47Declan Donnelly?

  Ever been?

• 9:47Ant McPartlin?

  No.

• 9:48Declan Donnelly?

  Mag is in Antigua.

• 9:50Ant McPartlin?

  Yes, Antigua.

• 9:52Declan Donnelly?

  Ever been?

• 9:52Ant McPartlin?

  Yes, I have been to Antigua. Ever been?

• 9:55Declan Donnelly?

  Yes, I've been to Antigua.

• 9:56Ant McPartlin?

  Put the map down.

• 9:57Declan Donnelly?

  You don't even tell the story.

• 9:58Ant McPartlin?

  Put the map down.

• 9:59Declan Donnelly?

  You don't even tell the sto- oh.

• 10:00Ant McPartlin?

  Put the map down. We went to Antigua years ago when we were still PJ and Duncan and we'd been doing a lot of work, recording albums and doing gigs and stuff. And we had a week off and we were like, well, we want to go away somewhere, we want a guaranteed sun. So we went to Antigua. Now, the furthest we'd been up to that point as 20-year-olds was Spain. That was the furthest we'd been.

• 10:22Declan Donnelly?

  Gran Canaria.

• 10:23Ant McPartlin?

  Gran Canaria. That was probably the furthest around the world we'd been. So we went to Antigua and we, the first day, we land, we get straight out on the beach.

• 10:31Declan Donnelly?

  Straight to the beach?

• 10:32Ant McPartlin?

  And I'm like, yes, because I love a bit of sun, love getting a tan. Deck, not so much.

• 10:37Declan Donnelly?

  Not so much.

• 10:37Ant McPartlin?

  You don't love the sun, do you?

• 10:38Declan Donnelly?

  Well, no.

• 10:39Ant McPartlin?

  You don't tan well.

• 10:40Declan Donnelly?

  I'm very fair-skinned.

• 10:41Ant McPartlin?

  He's very, very Irish, very fair-skinned, so he burns very easily. And we found that out on this holiday. Because it was the first afternoon, we lay on the beach.

• 10:51Declan Donnelly?

  I'd done very well applying my sun cream at this point.

• 10:54Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, well, he hadn't, because that night...

• 10:58Ant McPartlin?

  We were going to get ready to go out and he's like, oh, my feet are really sore. My feet are, the tops of my feet are really sore. I think I burnt the tops of my feet. I was like, nobody burns the tops of their feet, you know, like that bit there. Anyway, we got for food the first night. We come back, we're, we're sleeping in the same room. Wake up the next morning and I'm like, come on then, let's go somewhere. I can't get out of bed. He couldn't get out of bed. I went, what? And he said, my feet are so badly burnt, I can't stand. He pulls back the sheets. It was like it stuck two plums on the top of his feet. They were red.

• 11:32Declan Donnelly?

  Red? They were purple.

• 11:33Ant McPartlin?

  They were purple. It was so bad. We were only there for a week. He couldn't leave the room for three days.

• 11:40Declan Donnelly?

  You know, when you put your feet down on the floor and like the, the skin stretches, I was like, ah, I couldn't take a step. So I was sitting in the room, I got room service in the room and went off to the restaurant.

• 11:50Ant McPartlin?

  On my own, like a saddle.

• 11:52Declan Donnelly?

  And everybody was like, where's your mate? He's like, oh, he's burnt his feet, he's in the room. So I remember I was sat on the balcony one night, feeling really sorry for myself.

• 12:01Ant McPartlin?

  I told everybody in the resort the story hilariously and it got four more, four pitched, the more I told it.

• 12:07Declan Donnelly?

  And I was sitting on the balcony one night and a family walked by and one of the children went, look, mommy, there's the man who burnt his feet.

• 12:16Ant McPartlin?

  I swear to God, I swear to God.

• 12:19Declan Donnelly?

  And I was like, oh, God.

• 12:21Ant McPartlin?

  So by the time we had the travel day and then the travel day home and the first night, we had one day back in the sun together because of Mr Burnfeet.

• 12:29Declan Donnelly?

  It's not a great nickname, is it?

• 12:30Ant McPartlin?

  It's like Mr Bojangles, but Mr Burnfeet.

• 12:34Ant McPartlin?

  Mr Burnfeet, Mr Burnfeet. We, we had the only room in the whole hotel without aircon.

• 12:42Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah.

• 12:43Ant McPartlin?

  And there was one fan in the room and as we went into, into the room, I opened the door and I looked and the fan was directly above one bed. I got that bed. I ran straight to the ba, to the bed, put my bag down, jumped on it and went, baggy, baggy this bed. And he was like, oh yeah, no problem.

• 13:00Declan Donnelly?

  It wasn't until two days on and my feet were red raw and I woke up early in the morning with sore feet. And I looked over at him and the other.

• 13:07Ant McPartlin?

  Mr Burnfeet.

• 13:09Declan Donnelly?

  Looked over him in the other bed with a fan above it. He's like, oh.

• 13:13Ant McPartlin?

  It was so hot. He was, you know, the buckets you get of ice for drinks. He had the bucket of ice by the same of his bed and I would have to fill it up from and he would splash his body with ice cold water. I still didn't give my bed though, I'm best friends for you.

• 13:35Declan Donnelly?

  So, give all love to Antigua, um, Mag, we have very happy memories of being there. But please let us know in the comments and in any of your letters where you're

• 13:45Ant McPartlin?

  If you've ever burnt your feet like plums.

• 13:48Declan Donnelly?

  And where you're listening from.

• 13:49Ant McPartlin?

  Yes, please do.

• 13:50Declan Donnelly?

  Valentine's on Saturday.

• 13:53Ant McPartlin?

  It is.

• 13:54Declan Donnelly?

  Got any plans?

• 13:55Ant McPartlin?

  I do. Oh, you're doing so many sexy and nice. Sex. What? Yes. I didn't mean to say that. I didn't mean to say that. Sexy and nice, what on earth? Yes, I, I mean, to answer your question, yes, I have got sexy, nice things planned. Are you doing the nice things first or the sexy things? I have to do the nice things to her so they won't get sexy. I'm so sorry, I must apologize. Oh my God, that's just a little glimpse at the next life there. That's how my mind was.

• 14:40Ant McPartlin?

  That's a phrase that just tripped off the tongue and he didn't mean it. Oh my goodness, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry, what are you doing anyway? Tell me something. I'm not gonna tell, I'm not gonna give it away. Okay. I like romance though. Yeah. I do like being romantic, I like romance, I like surprises and my wife makes it very hard to surprise because she's the keeper of the diary and she kind of knows everything. So it's very hard to Yeah. Pull the wool over her eyes. Oh yeah. And be sexy and nice. That's sexy, is that the kind of thing you're into, is it?

• 15:11Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah, you, and he's sexy, nice plaid. We're having a family Valentines with the kids. Nice. Yeah, because it's Sa- Saturday. Not sexy, just nice. Just nice, just nice. Just nice. Yeah. Whereas mine, I'll be sexy and nice. Yeah, that's good. Do you know the story behind Valentine's Day? Nope. Obviously, it is the day of Saint Valentine. Yes. Do you know who Saint Valentine was? Do you know anything about it? I don't know anything about Saint Valentine. Nobody really knows, do they? No, we don't. He is the patron saint of? Love. Love, lovers. Right. He's also the patron saint of epilepsy. Right. And beekeepers. Is he? Do you know that? No, I didn't know that. That's quite a weird collection. Yeah, really weird. Yeah. So the story goes that he was a priest or a bishop. Right.

• 15:56Declan Donnelly?

  Around the third century, under the rule of Claudius the Second. Right, yeah. Who was trying to stamp out Christianity. Mm-hmm. And Claudius the Second wanted young men to join his army, and he didn't want them to be married because he said married soldiers make bad soldiers because they're too worried about their spouses. Right, makes sense. So he tried to outlaw marriage amongst young men so they would join his army and become his soldiers. So Saint Valentine secretly used to marry young men with women. Amazing, that's a really good backstory. And he got jailed for it. Oh. And while he was there, he talked to his jailer, who had a huge family, forty odd people in his family, this guy. And he talked to him about Christianity, and the guy said, well, if God really does exist, if Jesus exists,

• 16:41Declan Donnelly?

  said, I've got a blind daughter, you could make her see, and then if you do that, I will convert to Christianity and all of my family. So he brings the girl, makes her see again, performs a miracle. She sees, he converts his whole family to Christianity, which absolutely peeves off Claudius the Second, and he sentenced him to death, and he was executed on the fourteenth of February. Where did the bees come in?

• 17:06Declan Donnelly?

  And when he was leaving the jail, he wrote a message to the jailer's daughter, which said, from your Valentine.

• 17:11Ant McPartlin?

  As origin stories go, that's the best one yet.

• 17:14Declan Donnelly?

  It's good, isn't it?

• 17:15Ant McPartlin?

  They should make a movie of that.

• 17:16Declan Donnelly?

  Because I'm fascinated by the stories of the saints. Like, every saint has a story about how they became a saint.

• 17:21Ant McPartlin?

  Have you got a book at home with the saints?

• 17:23Declan Donnelly?

  Yes, with the saints.

• 17:24Ant McPartlin?

  Yes.

• 17:24Declan Donnelly?

  But that's a good story.

• 17:25Ant McPartlin?

  I've never loved Saint Valentine. That's a very good story.

• 17:27Declan Donnelly?

  It's a good one.

• 17:28Ant McPartlin?

  Saint, can you do Saint Anthony for next week, please?

• 17:30Declan Donnelly?

  Yes. So you know you pray to Saint Anthony when you lose anything?

• 17:33Ant McPartlin?

  Yes.

• 17:33Declan Donnelly?

  I'll combat you on why, next week.

• 17:36Ant McPartlin?

  Thank you. I look forward to it.

• 17:39Ant McPartlin?

  Good week?

• 17:40Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah, it's been all right.

• 17:41Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah.

• 17:41Declan Donnelly?

  It's not been bad.

• 17:42Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, South Africa, didn't we?

• 17:42Declan Donnelly?

  We went, we nipped to South Africa.

• 17:44Ant McPartlin?

  We did, very brief visit. We were doing a bit of filming for I'm a Celebrity South Africa. Yeah, not, not a lot to report. We can, we'll, we'll, why don't we talk about it properly? We'll do a.

• 17:52Declan Donnelly?

  We'll do a proper talk about it.

• 17:53Ant McPartlin?

  I'm a Celebrity South Africa special.

• 17:54Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah, when it gets there.

• 17:56Ant McPartlin?

  Couple of weeks.

• 17:56Declan Donnelly?

  So we got back and, um, just been in the thick of family life, really.

• 18:00Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, same. Yeah, I got told off this week.

• 18:02Declan Donnelly?

  For what?

• 18:03Ant McPartlin?

  From my daughter, because I talked about her on last week's podcast about going to the driving range.

• 18:08Declan Donnelly?

  Oh, yeah.

• 18:08Ant McPartlin?

  She said I was ruining her digital footprint.

• 18:13Ant McPartlin?

  I said, what? Because I talked about you going to a driving range? She went, yes. And you mentioned I burnt the bacon bits. I went, I haven't mentioned you burnt the bacon bits. She went, no future employer will want me if they know I can't cook. I said, nobody knows you can't cook. I mean, she can't cook. But I said, nobody knows you can't cook. They do now.

• 18:31Declan Donnelly?

  Well, it depends what job she's going for.

• 18:32Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, but also like.

• 18:33Declan Donnelly?

  Like, if she's going for a job in a restaurant, that's pretty.

• 18:35Ant McPartlin?

  I, surely, I'm not destroying her digital footprint by talking about her on here. I didn't even name check her. I've got two daughters. They might pick the wrong one.

• 18:42Declan Donnelly?

  Could be either one.

• 18:43Ant McPartlin?

  Could be either one.

• 18:44Declan Donnelly?

  Is she gone any further with it? Do you, you taking out an injunction or anything?

• 18:47Ant McPartlin?

  No, she hasn't taken out an injunction.

• 18:49Declan Donnelly?

  Is there a copyright infringement?

• 18:50Ant McPartlin?

  No, there isn't. And I will, I will continue to talk about her on here and talk about her epic fails when it comes to cooking. Because she's very bad. I've been watching a lot of telly.

• 19:01Declan Donnelly?

  I've been still working my way through some BAFTA movies.

• 19:03Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, have you?

• 19:03Declan Donnelly?

  Yes.

• 19:04Ant McPartlin?

  What have you watched?

• 19:05Declan Donnelly?

  Um, a fantastic film, which I absolutely loved. Gets five stars from me.

• 19:10Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, no, no, hold on. Instead of stars, right, we should start our own rating system.

• 19:14Declan Donnelly?

  Oh, that's a good idea. That's a good idea.

• 19:17Ant McPartlin?

  And as the world record for banana eating in a minute is eight bananas. Should we give the scale eight bananas?

• 19:23Declan Donnelly?

  We could do that.

• 19:24Ant McPartlin?

  Should we do that?

• 19:25Declan Donnelly?

  Give them.

• 19:25Ant McPartlin?

  Eight bananas? Okay, so what did you watch?

• 19:28Declan Donnelly?

  I watched The Ballad of Wallace Island.

• 19:30Ant McPartlin?

  Um, amazing. Well, I can't say.

• 19:33Declan Donnelly?

  I mean, eight bananas.

• 19:35Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, I'd, I'd give it eight bananas.

• 19:36Declan Donnelly?

  It's so good.

• 19:37Ant McPartlin?

  Because people say it's the best British movie in years. I would say it's one of the best movies in years.

• 19:41Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah.

• 19:41Ant McPartlin?

  But yet that it's British, it's just, it's just heartwarming, funny.

• 19:45Declan Donnelly?

  Brilliant performances.

• 19:47Ant McPartlin?

  Really good.

• 19:47Declan Donnelly?

  From all three, Tim Key, Tom Basden and Carey Mulligan. All three of them are fantastic. I loved the story, the setting, the location.

• 19:57Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah.

• 19:57Declan Donnelly?

  It's just, it's, it's faultless.

• 19:59Ant McPartlin?

  And you know, they've been working on that for years.

• 20:01Declan Donnelly?

  Well, it started out apparently as a.

• 20:02Ant McPartlin?

  It's a short movie, short, short movie.

• 20:04Declan Donnelly?

  A short movie.

• 20:04Ant McPartlin?

  Short movie.

• 20:05Declan Donnelly?

  Yes.

• 20:05Ant McPartlin?

  It's a short film.

• 20:06Declan Donnelly?

  But it, it sustains, it's brilliant. I loved it. Eight bananas.

• 20:10Ant McPartlin?

  Well done. Last night, I started a TV show on Amazon called Steel with Sophie Turner. Have you seen it? Yes, good. As first episodes go, eight bananas.

• 20:24Declan Donnelly?

  Eight bananas for episode one?

• 20:25Ant McPartlin?

  Yes. Let me paint the picture for you, right? You've got the city of London.

• 20:32Declan Donnelly?

  At night.

• 20:33Ant McPartlin?

  No, during the day.

• 20:33Declan Donnelly?

  Okay, carry on.

• 20:34Ant McPartlin?

  You've got the city of London during the day. You've got these characters, these, these, these people getting on the tube, getting off the tube, somebody like. And they all look quite menacing, right? They're all quite serious and menacing. And you're like, who, who are these, who are these people? Something's going down here. And it keeps cutting to the gherkin. And it's, you know, the gherkin in the city of London.

• 20:55Declan Donnelly?

  Oh, the building?

• 20:56Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, the building.

• 20:56Declan Donnelly?

  Not, not, not.

• 20:57Ant McPartlin?

  Not a gherkin.

• 20:58Declan Donnelly?

  On a kitchen table.

• 20:59Ant McPartlin?

  Very abstract.

• 21:00Declan Donnelly?

  Cut to a gherkin at night.

• 21:02Ant McPartlin?

  Then it keeps cutting to the gherkin. And in there is like a, no, during the day, it's the same day.

• 21:06Declan Donnelly?

  I like it at night.

• 21:06Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, it's the same day.

• 21:07Declan Donnelly?

  Right.

• 21:08Ant McPartlin?

  So it cuts to the gherkin at day. And these people are going about their business and they're hedge fund managers, right? They work, they work in finance. But then it keeps cutting it back to the serious people, then it cuts back to the people doing their business. You think, how's this?

• 21:21Declan Donnelly?

  They're doing their, and now they're doing their business.

• 21:23Ant McPartlin?

  World's gonna collide. They collided the most spectacularly, believe me.

• 21:26Declan Donnelly?

  Wow.

• 21:27Ant McPartlin?

  So these serious people get together, you see them get in the lift, you see them lock and load their guns.

• 21:31Declan Donnelly?

  Who is this? The bankers or the people on the tube?

• 21:34Ant McPartlin?

  The people on the tube.

• 21:35Declan Donnelly?

  Or in the lift with guns?

• 21:37Ant McPartlin?

  Yes.

• 21:38Declan Donnelly?

  Right, go on, carry on. At night?

• 21:40Ant McPartlin?

  No, during the day.

• 21:40Declan Donnelly?

  Okay.

• 21:42Ant McPartlin?

  And then they get out and there's a robbery. They hold them to ransom and they steal big money. And it's very, very good, very tense, very dramatic.

• 21:53Speaker 04

  Lots of twists.

• 21:54Ant McPartlin?

  Lots. Well, the end of the first episode.

• 21:56Declan Donnelly?

  Go on.

• 21:57Ant McPartlin?

  Got me throw, I threw the remote down, I went, I'm in, let's watch another.

• 22:02Declan Donnelly?

  Hello.

• 22:02Ant McPartlin?

  My wife said, not tonight, tomorrow. I said, okay, dear.

• 22:08Ant McPartlin?

  But it's really good.

• 22:09Declan Donnelly?

  Eight bananas for episode one.

• 22:10Ant McPartlin?

  Eight bananas for episode one.

• 22:11Declan Donnelly?

  I watched, um, I've watched half another BAFTA movie, so I'll give you a rating of how the first half's gone.

• 22:17Ant McPartlin?

  No, thanks. Why would you?

• 22:21Declan Donnelly?

  Well, it's good so far.

• 22:23Ant McPartlin?

  Go on then, who's in it? What is it?

• 22:24Declan Donnelly?

  Ethan Hawke, Blue Moon.

• 22:26Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, yeah.

• 22:26Declan Donnelly?

  Very good.

• 22:27Ant McPartlin?

  Uh huh.

• 22:28Declan Donnelly?

  Quite good so far. I'll let, I'll let you know next week when I've finished it.

• 22:31Ant McPartlin?

  So when I visualise your banana scoring, are they half eaten bananas? Or, or just, see if you're gonna give it eight, you're just gonna give it four? Or you're gonna give it four half eaten bananas? How does the banana rating work when it comes to half a movie?

• 22:45Declan Donnelly?

  Well, I don't know, it's your idea.

• 22:47Ant McPartlin?

  Nobody cares what your opinion is of half a movie.

• 22:51Declan Donnelly?

  Oh.

• 22:51Ant McPartlin?

  Nobody, no, and I mean that in the most constructive way.

• 22:55Declan Donnelly?

  But for now, it's got four full bananas.

• 22:57Ant McPartlin?

  Great. Should I watch it?

• 22:58Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah, if you wanna watch it, then you let me know what happens in the second half.

• 23:01Ant McPartlin?

  Should I watch the second half? And then we'll join our.

• 23:03Declan Donnelly?

  We'll join our bananas. We'll put our bananas together. Ooh, that sounds weird.

• 23:10Ant McPartlin?

  Text me what minute you're up to and I'll start from that minute.

• 23:13Declan Donnelly?

  All right, okay, good. That, that sounds like a plan. Stay tuned for that.

• 23:17Ant McPartlin?

  I also watched a movie called Train Dreams.

• 23:20Declan Donnelly?

  Oh, I've heard of this.

• 23:21Ant McPartlin?

  On the flight back from Cetifica.

• 23:23Declan Donnelly?

  Ah, yes.

• 23:24Ant McPartlin?

  I bawled my eyes out. I'm surprised that he was crying. Minji, you were flat out on the flight.

• 23:28Declan Donnelly?

  I was asleep.

• 23:28Ant McPartlin?

  He was asleep straight away. Did he even watch anything?

• 23:31Declan Donnelly?

  Didn't watch a thing.

• 23:32Ant McPartlin?

  Who does that? Who gets on a flight?

• 23:34Declan Donnelly?

  Go on, finish me Sudoku and off to sleep.

• 23:37Ant McPartlin?

  You did, you did do Sudoku on the flight?

• 23:39Declan Donnelly?

  And the woman in front of me was doing a Sudoku.

• 23:41Ant McPartlin?

  I saw her do it. Yeah, I came out of the toilets and I went to the deck, I went, she's doing the Sudoku, so.

• 23:45Declan Donnelly?

  We both nodded at each other.

• 23:48Ant McPartlin?

  But who gets on a flight and doesn't watch anything? Because we travel, this is at ITV's expense, so we travel in a good, a good category, right? They flew us first class.

• 24:00Declan Donnelly?

  First class, baby.

• 24:01Ant McPartlin?

  So we get on the flight, the seats are comfy, they turn in the beds, you've got a little TV screen, you get a choice of movies, they bring the food when you want. It's just, and nobody can get you on your mobile phone.

• 24:13Declan Donnelly?

  Didn't eat anything either.

• 24:13Ant McPartlin?

  There's no emails. Why? You didn't eat any of the free food on the free flight and you didn't watch any free movies?

• 24:19Declan Donnelly?

  Nope.

• 24:20Ant McPartlin?

  You're a psychopath?

• 24:22Declan Donnelly?

  Even worse than that, do you know what I put on the TV? The map.

• 24:26Ant McPartlin?

  You didn't, you're one of them. You're a map watcher. He's a map watcher. Hashtag map watcher. Let's get it out there. Hashtag map watcher.

• 24:34Declan Donnelly?

  I love a map.

• 24:35Ant McPartlin?

  He does love a map.

• 24:36Declan Donnelly?

  I just wanted to see on the plane where we were gonna reach.

• 24:40Ant McPartlin?

  So hold on, so you got on a flight, an 11 hour flight to South Africa?

• 24:44Declan Donnelly?

  From South Africa.

• 24:46Ant McPartlin?

  Wow, pretending, oh, split that. You've got, for anyone just listening, I held a strand of my hair and said to the deck, split that. So you got on a flight from South Africa at ITV's expense, first class. You didn't watch anything? You didn't eat anything? Did you drink anything?

• 25:06Declan Donnelly?

  I got a free bottle of water.

• 25:08Ant McPartlin?

  A free bottle of water?

• 25:10Declan Donnelly?

  I had some.

• 25:11Ant McPartlin?

  It's all free. She's right. It's all free. Failure butts.

• 25:15Declan Donnelly?

  And I got a glass of water with some ice in the land.

• 25:17Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, and you drink? It's not like me where I don't drink. So I'm like, no thank you, Daschun Pizza, no thank you, don't drink. He does drink, declines it. Does a Sudoku, whatever the cards, what are they called?

• 25:28Declan Donnelly?

  Sudoku.

• 25:29Ant McPartlin?

  Sudoku. When you woke up from your slumber, what did you do before we landed?

• 25:33Declan Donnelly?

  I had to drink my water.

• 25:34Ant McPartlin?

  That's it? No breakfast on out?

• 25:36Declan Donnelly?

  No.

• 25:36Ant McPartlin?

  Nothing?

• 25:37Declan Donnelly?

  Nothing. It was, it was a very early landing.

• 25:40Ant McPartlin?

  It's disgusting behaviour. You might as well have flown in a colony. Take my as well, a brother in the colony.

• 25:46Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah.

• 25:46Ant McPartlin?

  So next time we fly to South Africa, I'm gonna go to the economy and I'm gonna swap somebody's ticket with yours.

• 25:52Declan Donnelly?

  No, you're not.

• 25:53Ant McPartlin?

  And I'm gonna sit with him and we're gonna have a chat and we're gonna talk about what movies we're gonna watch. We're gonna talk about what are you gonna get to eat? Oh, I'm gonna get this. What did you get to eat? I got this. What did you watch? I watched this. That's what you do. No, I walk past him to have a little chat. He's asleep with his little earmuffs in and his sleep mask on and his seatbelt over the top of his quilt.

• 26:13Declan Donnelly?

  Which is what you're supposed to do.

• 26:14Ant McPartlin?

  Yes, I know you're supposed to do it, but like, like a proper SWAT.

• 26:20Ant McPartlin?

  If you could be a SWAT flying, he's a SWAT.

• 26:23Declan Donnelly?

  Speaking of movies and banana ratings, we've had an idea for a film script.

• 26:29Ant McPartlin?

  Is this, is this the film script?

• 26:30Speaker 03

  You've each got one.

• 26:31Ant McPartlin?

  Oh. We've each got one.

• 26:33Speaker 03

  We're gonna do a read through.

• 26:35Declan Donnelly?

  We have been sent a film script for us to pitch to all of the big movie companies and see if we can get this away.

• 26:43Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, I hate it. Don't you hate it when that happens? You try and pull off the tear thing and only a tiny bit comes off and now, now I've gotta scratch away at it.

• 26:51Declan Donnelly?

  Now, if you don't know the story, we told a story back on our, I think our first podcast, where we had lunch with, that's very rusty next to your microphone and I'm poking.

• 26:58Ant McPartlin?

  Well, it's stuck to my thumb, isn't it?

• 26:59Declan Donnelly?

  Poking to everybody. We, um, we had lunch with famous novelist William Boyd and, oh, and we got to the end.

• 27:09Ant McPartlin?

  Yours, I've done the same with the envelope.

• 27:10Declan Donnelly?

  The envelope's ripped. And we got to the end of the lunch, or towards the end of lunch, and he said, oh, I do you know, I had an amazing film idea for you two. And then his wife turned off and we never got to hear the film idea.

• 27:19Ant McPartlin?

  We never got to hear the end. Look, it's stuck to my finger. I feel like, I feel like Dick Rich. We got a big Rich.

• 27:25Declan Donnelly?

  So we asked for your film ideas for us so we could star in another movie after the long awaited follow-up to Alien Autopsy.

• 27:32Ant McPartlin?

  So we've got the same document in both of our envelopes.

• 27:35Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah, we've got two scripts here.

• 27:36Ant McPartlin?

  This is from Gary. The script is called Double Chapter.

• 27:40Declan Donnelly?

  I'm in already.

• 27:42Ant McPartlin?

  It's a short action thriller about two former operative agents, Jack and Ryan.

• 27:48Declan Donnelly?

  Got to be some copyright issues there.

• 27:50Ant McPartlin?

  Once brothers in arms turned enemies, Ryan was framed for betraying his partner and their organisation. Eight years later, new evidence forces them back together, revealing they were both victims of the same conspiracy.

• 28:02Declan Donnelly?

  Oh, I hate when that happens.

• 28:04Ant McPartlin?

  Now, they must fight to survive and expose the man who tried to erase them before he finishes the job.

• 28:12Declan Donnelly?

  Here is the script for the final scene. Let's have a read through. Girls, would you read the stage cues, please? Who's gonna be Ryan and who's gonna be Jack? Hang on, it's Jack and Ryan, so should you be Jack because your name comes first?

• 28:24Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, go on then. Yeah, okay.

• 28:25Declan Donnelly?

  So Jack and Ryan, on to deck.

• 28:27Speaker 03

  Abandoned office building, night, dark.

• 28:30Declan Donnelly?

  I like it when it's night.

• 28:32Speaker 03

  Broken desks, emergency lights flicker. They move together instinctively from old training.

• 28:37Declan Donnelly?

  So, you finally worked out it weren't me?

• 28:41Ant McPartlin?

  Took me a while.

• 28:43Declan Donnelly?

  Eight years more than a while, mate.

• 28:45Ant McPartlin?

  I had evidence.

• 28:47Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah? Funny that. So did I.

• 28:50Speaker 03

  Footsteps echo somewhere above. They move to the stairwell fast.

• 28:57Declan Donnelly?

  That's just, that's enough, Prince.

• 28:58Ant McPartlin?

  Is this me?

• 28:59Declan Donnelly?

  No, it's me, I think. Am I Ryan?

• 29:00Ant McPartlin?

  You're Ryan.

• 29:01Declan Donnelly?

  They burned us both, Jack. Same play, different headlines. Is that, is that, is that a same play, different headlines?

• 29:08Ant McPartlin?

  That doesn't work, but it's okay. We can, we'll do a rewrite before we go to film.

• 29:11Declan Donnelly?

  Same play, different headlines.

• 29:13Ant McPartlin?

  You're saying someone wants to... Can I go again? I messed up the line. Okay, cut. Uh, action. You're saying someone wanted us gone together?

• 29:22Declan Donnelly?

  I'm saying this ain't a reunion. It's a clean up.

• 29:25Speaker 03

  Gunfire from above.

• 29:28Speaker 03

  Bullets sparkle red. Return fire pushing forward. Their target, unseen clearly, retreats into the shadows.

• 29:37Declan Donnelly?

  I've got to shout this bit. I'll back off. You always did hide behind other people!

• 29:41Speaker 03

  A gunshot. Ryan goes down, flazed. Jack drags him behind cover.

• 29:49Ant McPartlin?

  That's me dragging you.

• 29:51Declan Donnelly?

  Just make sure it's not me dragging you.

• 29:52Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, just dragging. You hit!

• 29:57Declan Donnelly?

  I've had worse than Piccadilly on a Friday night. I'm good.

• 30:01Ant McPartlin?

  Who goes out in Piccadilly on a Friday night? Nobody. You wouldn't really say that, would you?

• 30:05Declan Donnelly?

  Well, my, my character.

• 30:07Ant McPartlin?

  You're still an idiot. That's, but I'm back in the script now, even though I do believe that in real life as well. You're still an idiot.

• 30:13Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah.

• 30:15Declan Donnelly?

  Well, I'm your idiot.

• 30:17Speaker 03

  They exchange a look, trust finally aren't back. They move fast and precise.

• 30:23Ant McPartlin?

  But he's just been shot, so.

• 30:25Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah.

• 30:25Ant McPartlin?

  We call it the last and precise.

• 30:27Declan Donnelly?

  I've had worse than Piccadilly on a Friday night.

• 30:28Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, you have, you have.

• 30:29Declan Donnelly?

  I like it.

• 30:30Ant McPartlin?

  Thank you, Gary. Little fly in the ointment. There is a movie out there called Double Gerberi, so we'll have to change the name.

• 30:35Declan Donnelly?

  Right, we'll change that.

• 30:35Ant McPartlin?

  And there is a series called Jack Ryan, so we'll have to change the main characters' names. Puffin, that's good. And a lot of the writing is a little corny, so we'll have to change that. So.

• 30:51Declan Donnelly?

  How many bananas does it get?

• 30:55Ant McPartlin?

  One.

• 30:56Declan Donnelly?

  Oh, what?

• 30:57Ant McPartlin?

  Sorry, Gary.

• 30:57Declan Donnelly?

  I liked it.

• 30:58Ant McPartlin?

  Sorry, Gary.

• 30:59Declan Donnelly?

  I like, I like the fact.

• 31:00Ant McPartlin?

  Do you know what, Gary? Maybe we need new pages.

• 31:02Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah.

• 31:02Ant McPartlin?

  A little rewrite. Change the name, change the characters' names and.

• 31:06Declan Donnelly?

  The premise.

• 31:07Ant McPartlin?

  And the premise and make it a little bit more grown up. That's it.

• 31:11Declan Donnelly?

  It's definitely got.

• 31:13Ant McPartlin?

  Legs?

• 31:14Declan Donnelly?

  No, um.

• 31:15Ant McPartlin?

  Promise?

• 31:16Declan Donnelly?

  Promise.

• 31:16Ant McPartlin?

  Promise.

• 31:17Declan Donnelly?

  It's got promise.

• 31:17Ant McPartlin?

  That's the kind of thing you say just if you don't want to let people down.

• 31:20Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah.

• 31:20Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, it's got promise. You hate it, don't you? You hate it.

• 31:22Declan Donnelly?

  What was Tom Holland's thing again?

• 31:23Speaker 03

  Let's reassess.

• 31:24Declan Donnelly?

  Well, let's reassess this one, like, like Tom Holland would say.

• 31:27Ant McPartlin?

  Gary.

• 31:27Declan Donnelly?

  Let's reassess this one later, later down the line. Thanks for all of your film ideas. Keep them coming in. And you can keep a track of our quest to find a movie for me and Anne by subscribing to Beltar Box. Give us a subscribe, give us a like.

• 31:41Ant McPartlin?

  Or give us a follow wherever you get your podcasts.

• 31:44Declan Donnelly?

  Good idea.

• 31:46Declan Donnelly?

  This podcast is brought to you by Gemini, Google's personal AI assistant. Are you enjoying doing the podcast?

• 31:53Ant McPartlin?

  I'm enjoying it. Yeah, yeah, I'm really liking it. Are you?

• 31:55Declan Donnelly?

  I'm really liking it. I thought, though, Google Gemini might be able to help us up our performance within the podcast a little bit.

• 32:02Ant McPartlin?

  Okay.

• 32:03Declan Donnelly?

  Hi Gemini, could you teach me how to do a convincing fake laugh for when my comedy partner tells a joke or a funny story?

• 32:13Speaker 05

  That's a useful skill. To make a fake laugh sound genuine, try varying the pitch and intensity.

• 32:21Speaker 05

  Also, adding a slight breath before and after the laugh can make it more natural.

• 32:26Declan Donnelly?

  Could I try one and you give me some feedback?

• 32:28Speaker 05

  Go for it. I'll let you know what I think.

• 32:37Speaker 05

  That had some good volume. To make it more convincing, try a slightly less consistent rhythm.

• 32:44Declan Donnelly?

  Got it. Thanks Gemini.

• 32:45Speaker 05

  Happy to help with the comedy.

• 32:48Declan Donnelly?

  We need all the help we can get.

• 32:50Ant McPartlin?

  She's funny.

• 32:51Speaker 05

  Anytime. Keep practising.

• 32:53Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, keep practising your fake laugh, yeah, on the podcast with me. With Gemini, you can chat live with a truly helpful AI assistant. You jump in, brainstorm ideas, ask for more details, or even show it what you're talking about by sharing your screen or camera as well. It's there for a real chat, not just a quick question and done.

• 33:13Declan Donnelly?

  Download the Gemini app today to unlock the power of Google AI on your phone.

• 33:18Ant McPartlin?

  Check responses. Setup required. Compatibility and availability varies. 18 plus.

• 33:28Speaker 06

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• 33:58Ant McPartlin?

  That graphic behind us with you on your bed means it's time for your diary. And you know, last week I asked for jingles. If anybody could do us a jingle. We've had a jingle. We're going to play this jingle along with that graphic. We've got a letter as well, which I'm going to read before you read this week's excerpt.

• 34:17Declan Donnelly?

  This is really gaining traction this whole time, isn't it?

• 34:19Ant McPartlin?

  Thank you.

• 34:21Declan Donnelly?

  Coming as a paper plane yet again.

• 34:23Ant McPartlin?

  So. This is from Dawn.

• 34:26Declan Donnelly?

  Hi Dawn.

• 34:27Ant McPartlin?

  And she said, I recently listened to your podcast where you spoke about Russ the bus. And last week's diary.

• 34:33Declan Donnelly?

  Bus driver when we were on PG and Duncan.

• 34:35Ant McPartlin?

  And your manager parking the car on a girl's foot. Well, guys.

• 34:40Declan Donnelly?

  Oh no.

• 34:41Ant McPartlin?

  I am that girl.

• 34:42Declan Donnelly?

  No way.

• 34:44Ant McPartlin?

  Dawn is the girl. I was okay. A little embarrassed, obs, especially after the local newspaper. I got hold of the story.

• 34:54Declan Donnelly?

  Press.

• 34:56Ant McPartlin?

  Security thought I was screaming for Ant and Dec, but oh no, my friend had to say no. The car just ran over her foot. More embarrassing, more embarrassing than that. I had to think it could get more embarrassing than that. More embarrassing was the fact I was meant to be on a date, but went to the concert instead. My date found out by reading the headlines of the local newspaper. All was well though, no lasting damage. Lots of love. Dawn.

• 35:21Declan Donnelly?

  Oh, well, it's good to hear Dawn that everything's tip top and you're all right and you've got, you've got both your feet in good working order.

• 35:27Ant McPartlin?

  Good excuse to get out of a date though.

• 35:29Declan Donnelly?

  That's good.

• 35:29Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, it's good. We can have, if you've got good excuses that you've used in the past to get out of a date, let us know.

• 35:35Speaker 04

  Have you got any good, have you got go to excuses?

• 35:37Declan Donnelly?

  For getting out of a date?

• 35:39Ant McPartlin?

  Ten on the go on too many dates, telling more Lola now that I'm married.

• 35:43Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah, I just go, you're not going to tell my wife about this, are you?

• 35:49Ant McPartlin?

  Ah, very good. Yeah, normally my, uh, is Newcastle's on telly tonight. It goes down well.

• 35:54Declan Donnelly?

  To which the response is, again?

• 35:56Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, I know. We're on telly a lot. Eight o'clock kickoff on a Saturday night is not, I'm going to say this now, is not a good time for football matches to kick off.

• 36:06Declan Donnelly?

  Are you listening Premier League?

• 36:07Ant McPartlin?

  Are you listening?

• 36:08Declan Donnelly?

  Are you listening?

• 36:08Ant McPartlin?

  To hanging out with Ant and Dec? Premier League? Change it. Change the kickoffs.

• 36:13Declan Donnelly?

  Listen to the grassroots here, the ordinary football fan.

• 36:16Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, Premier League. But that's family time, isn't it? Eight o'clock on a Saturday night?

• 36:20Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah.

• 36:20Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, that's family time. That's not watch, watch football time. Come on.

• 36:23Declan Donnelly?

  It's 10 o'clock.

• 36:25Ant McPartlin?

  What? It's not 8 o'clock?

• 36:26Declan Donnelly?

  No, but it finishes at 10 o'clock.

• 36:27Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, well finish your sentence then. We would have got it.

• 36:31Declan Donnelly?

  It finishes at 10 o'clock.

• 36:33Ant McPartlin?

  It's 10 o'clock, the time it finishes.

• 36:35Declan Donnelly?

  By the time it finishes, it's 10 o'clock.

• 36:37Ant McPartlin?

  It is.

• 36:37Declan Donnelly?

  That's my bedtime. I've got to watch the news headlines and go to bed.

• 36:40Ant McPartlin?

  Goodnight. I've been Declan Donnelly, goodnight. Is that how you go to bed at night?

• 36:45Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah.

• 36:46Ant McPartlin?

  I've been Declan Donnelly, thanks for a great day, goodnight.

• 36:50Ant McPartlin?

  That's what he does on a flight before he watches a movie, or instead of watching a movie. Right, we're getting sidetracked on this week's podcast. We're very sorry. We're a little bit jet lagged, even though there's no time difference in South Africa. Here's Dex's diary.

• 37:04Declan Donnelly?

  Hit it.

• 37:05Ant McPartlin?

  Play.

• 37:09Speaker 07

  Declan's 90s diary, he's not embarrassed. But should it be Declan's 90s diary, he's not embarrassed, just finds it funny.

• 37:20Speaker 07

  Declan's 90s diary.

• 37:22Ant McPartlin?

  He's not embarrassed.

• 37:23Speaker 07

  But should it be Declan's 90s diary?

• 37:26Ant McPartlin?

  He's not embarrassed.

• 37:27Speaker 07

  Just finds it funny.

• 37:29Ant McPartlin?

  Thank you, that was from Nadia.

• 37:31Declan Donnelly?

  Well done Nadia, big fans of your theme tune. If you've got a theme tune for Dex's diary or for anything at all, send them in and we'll use them, maybe, if they're good enough.

• 37:41Ant McPartlin?

  Right, tell us the date and what's going on in your life.

• 37:44Declan Donnelly?

  31st of March 1994.

• 37:47Ant McPartlin?

  Right.

• 37:47Declan Donnelly?

  Day four of life on the road, eh?

• 37:51Ant McPartlin?

  Respect, guys.

• 37:52Declan Donnelly?

  Hardly slept at all last night.

• 37:54Ant McPartlin?

  Again, you don't really get much good sleep, do you? Back in 1994.

• 38:00Declan Donnelly?

  No, not till after 4am anyway.

• 38:02Ant McPartlin?

  What?

• 38:03Declan Donnelly?

  Felt a bit worse for the beers me and Ant stayed up for.

• 38:07Ant McPartlin?

  Beers?

• 38:08Declan Donnelly?

  Beers.

• 38:09Ant McPartlin?

  Did you put zen at the end?

• 38:10Declan Donnelly?

  No.

• 38:11Ant McPartlin?

  Okay.

• 38:11Declan Donnelly?

  Felt a bit worse for the beers me and Ant stayed up for.

• 38:14Ant McPartlin?

  Nobody says that. Who says that?

• 38:16Declan Donnelly?

  Was a wee bit gone.

• 38:18Ant McPartlin?

  A wee bit gone? You haven't wrote a wee bit gone. You have as well. Why, you've gone a bit Scottish.

• 38:24Declan Donnelly?

  Left the hotel around 12ish and after lunch, went to this safari park thing. Do you remember we were going to the Wildfowl Park?

• 38:30Ant McPartlin?

  Oh yeah, we were, yeah. Safari park thing.

• 38:33Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah, where you drive round and look at the animals. It was well good.

• 38:40Ant McPartlin?

  Hold on, so even after you've been to the Safari Park, you still can't describe it better than Safari Park thing?

• 38:47Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah, it was well good though.

• 38:49Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, well good.

• 38:50Declan Donnelly?

  Got to the venue in Bolton.

• 38:52Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, Bolton.

• 38:53Declan Donnelly?

  Around 7.30, although we had already found it at 5pm and gone again. We were bored for an hour waiting to go in.

• 39:01Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, bored in Bolton.

• 39:02Declan Donnelly?

  The club was another dodgy one.

• 39:04Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, was it?

• 39:05Declan Donnelly?

  With no stage.

• 39:06Ant McPartlin?

  Not again.

• 39:07Declan Donnelly?

  Just the dance floor and no crash barriers.

• 39:12Ant McPartlin?

  Because we need them, guys, we do.

• 39:14Declan Donnelly?

  Everyone just closes in and you've got no chance.

• 39:18Ant McPartlin?

  Willies and bums.

• 39:19Declan Donnelly?

  The whack. They close in and you've got no chance. Got pulled in the DJ booth twice.

• 39:24Ant McPartlin?

  Did you, you lucky devil?

• 39:28Ant McPartlin?

  I don't remember that happening, I just had a beer.

• 39:31Declan Donnelly?

  Got pulled into the DJ booth twice, away from the girls.

• 39:34Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, okay, oh, okay.

• 39:35Declan Donnelly?

  In brackets, bah.

• 39:43Declan Donnelly?

  Away from the girls, bah. The audience were excellent though and made so much noise. After signing the autographs.

• 39:50Ant McPartlin?

  Yes, autograph cards.

• 39:52Declan Donnelly?

  And the very dodgy security, we set off for the long, long drive back to Kent.

• 39:59Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, that is a long drive from Bolton to Kent.

• 40:01Declan Donnelly?

  Yawn-o.

• 40:03Ant McPartlin?

  What?

• 40:03Declan Donnelly?

  Yawn-o.

• 40:05Ant McPartlin?

  What does that mean?

• 40:06Declan Donnelly?

  Ooh, yawn-o.

• 40:09Ant McPartlin?

  Spell it.

• 40:11Declan Donnelly?

  Y-A-W-N-O.

• 40:14Ant McPartlin?

  Yawn-o. What, weren't you a teenage girl? Yawn-o.

• 40:19Declan Donnelly?

  Yawn-o.

• 40:20Ant McPartlin?

  Like a teenage American girl, who says that? Yawn-o.

• 40:24Declan Donnelly?

  Arrived there at 2am and ready for bed.

• 40:28Ant McPartlin?

  Wow. Declan's reading his diary, he's not embarrassed, he should be.

• 40:35Declan Donnelly?

  Oh, I am, oh, I am.

• 40:37Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, very good, yawn-o. I'm gonna have to get lots of different lights made at this point, yawn-o over that side, please.

• 40:43Declan Donnelly?

  Respect, guys, yawn-o. And what was the other one? Join us next week for Day Five, April Fool's Day 1994. Shall we play out with the theme tune?

• 40:52Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, now, yeah, let's hear your jingle one more time, because that's the end of Dex Diary.

• 40:58Ant McPartlin?

  Everybody join in, the lyrics are very easy to follow. He's not embarrassed.

• 41:02Declan Donnelly?

  I'm not embarrassed.

• 41:05Ant McPartlin?

  He's not embarrassed.

• 41:06Declan Donnelly?

  I am a little bit.

• 41:06Speaker 07

  He finds it funny.

• 41:07Ant McPartlin?

  Just finds it funny.

• 41:08Declan Donnelly?

  Just finds it funny.

• 41:10Ant McPartlin?

  One more time. Deck, he's writing his diary, he's not embarrassed. Should he be?

• 41:16Ant McPartlin?

  He's not embarrassed.

• 41:18Declan Donnelly?

  Just finds it funny.

• 41:20Ant McPartlin?

  Fagging out here, very, very good. Uh, look forward to more of that next week. Sherry, have a look at the postbag.

• 41:26Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah, let's have some letters.

• 41:28Ant McPartlin?

  Pass it over please. Oh, that's a bulging bag. That's a big bulger.

• 41:33Declan Donnelly?

  Thanks for all of your letters, keep them coming in to [email protected].

• 41:38Ant McPartlin?

  Right.

• 41:39Declan Donnelly?

  And we'll read some out on air.

• 41:41Ant McPartlin?

  I've got one here, from Matty. Hi, I'm Deck.

• 41:45Declan Donnelly?

  Hi, Matty.

• 41:45Ant McPartlin?

  Hi, Matty, Matty here, yeah, we've established that, Matty. Uh, we know you love football.

• 41:50Declan Donnelly?

  Yes.

• 41:50Ant McPartlin?

  But do you like boxing? If so, yes, I do. If so, and had to do an exhibition fight, who would you fight and why? Respect, guys, thanks, Matty. Okay.

• 42:01Declan Donnelly?

  Good question.

• 42:02Ant McPartlin?

  Who would you fight? I'd fight KSI. Bruh, come on, let's have it. No, he's bigger than me. Don't know, yeah, would I have a little fight? I would have a, yeah, I would. Andrew Scott. Yeah, he's about my height.

• 42:14Declan Donnelly?

  What, you can't, you can't, um, punch Andrew Scott in the face then?

• 42:17Ant McPartlin?

  Why, cause he's your mate.

• 42:18Declan Donnelly?

  He's too good looking. Can't punch him in the face.

• 42:21Ant McPartlin?

  Who should I fight?

• 42:24Ant McPartlin?

  Who?

• 42:25Declan Donnelly?

  Chris Martin from Coldplay.

• 42:26Ant McPartlin?

  Chris Martin?

• 42:27Declan Donnelly?

  You can't fight Chris Martin, he's so, he's the loveliest man.

• 42:30Speaker 07

  I think you could take him.

• 42:31Ant McPartlin?

  I don't, he's into a lot of yoga.

• 42:33Speaker 07

  Oh, really?

• 42:33Ant McPartlin?

  He's, have you seen him? His stage show's like three hours long.

• 42:36Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 42:36Ant McPartlin?

  And he sings and dances all that, all the time.

• 42:38Speaker 07

  He can sing and dance?

• 42:39Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, not, not to the extreme lengths, Chris. Chris Martin, I'm not calling out Chris Martin, nobody wants to see that. Do you? Do you?

• 42:49Ant McPartlin?

  Do you?

• 42:49Declan Donnelly?

  I mean, that would be good, wouldn't it?

• 42:51Ant McPartlin?

  Be good on YouTube, wouldn't it, eh?

• 42:52Declan Donnelly?

  It'd be great on YouTube.

• 42:53Ant McPartlin?

  Imagine the subscribers.

• 42:54Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah, you need to have beef with Chris Martin.

• 42:56Ant McPartlin?

  I do, I do, but I like him too much.

• 42:57Declan Donnelly?

  Can't be rude to him.

• 42:58Ant McPartlin?

  I can't be rude to him. You can't be rude to Chris Martin.

• 43:00Declan Donnelly?

  He'd take it, he'd go, hey, hey, man, you know, that's fine, that's cool. That's so cool, man, I do care, you know, everybody's got their opinion, I don't care, man. Who could you have beef with? Who would you not mind having beef with?

• 43:09Ant McPartlin?

  Stephen Muller, I could knock him out, easy.

• 43:12Ant McPartlin?

  Easy knock him out. And he's taller than me, Stephen. He's got a big head.

• 43:17Declan Donnelly?

  Good, big target.

• 43:18Ant McPartlin?

  Big target, yeah, hard to miss.

• 43:21Declan Donnelly?

  Stephen's not a fighter, though.

• 43:22Ant McPartlin?

  No?

• 43:23Declan Donnelly?

  No.

• 43:23Ant McPartlin?

  Jonathan Ross, he's a big lad. Jonathan Ross, I could knock him out, I reckon.

• 43:28Declan Donnelly?

  He's, he's quite tall, Jonathan, he's a big unit.

• 43:30Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, right, go for the guts.

• 43:33Declan Donnelly?

  Alan Carr?

• 43:33Ant McPartlin?

  In your guts, boom, boom, Alan Carr. Yeah, I'd have Alan Carr, yeah.

• 43:36Declan Donnelly?

  You'd knock out a lot of celebrities, wouldn't you?

• 43:38Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, I would.

• 43:38Declan Donnelly?

  You would.

• 43:39Ant McPartlin?

  Not even on YouTube, just in real life, with no one watching.

• 43:44Declan Donnelly?

  That's good, that's a great question, Matty. Send us in your parents of who you think we should fight.

• 43:49Ant McPartlin?

  Who would you fight?

• 43:49Declan Donnelly?

  Tom Holland.

• 43:50Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, you're right, you could take him.

• 43:51Declan Donnelly?

  If I crept up on him.

• 43:54Ant McPartlin?

  In the dark.

• 43:54Declan Donnelly?

  In the dark. When he's just walking the dog, and I just jump on him. Pop out from behind a tree and jump on him, I reckon I'd have him.

• 44:01Ant McPartlin?

  You think you can chin Spider-Man? That's the tagline for this episode, isn't it?

• 44:06Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah.

• 44:07Ant McPartlin?

  I think I can chin Spider-Man. Dream on, baby.

• 44:10Declan Donnelly?

  Hey, Ant and Dec, this is from Christina. I grew up in Russia, where English was something we learnt in school. Back in year 10, our student books had these short texts written by teenagers, in inverted commas, with photos next to them, proper standard textbook stuff. One day, our English teacher told us to read a few pages, and there were two lads called Tom and Gary. They looked young, very British, very 90s. Years later, long after I graduated, I realised that Tom and Gary were actually Ant and Dec.

• 44:36Ant McPartlin?

  What?

• 44:37Declan Donnelly?

  Same pics, but names changed.

• 44:39Ant McPartlin?

  What are you talking about?

• 44:39Declan Donnelly?

  In the text, Tom goes on about moving abroad and being a hacker.

• 44:44Ant McPartlin?

  What?

• 44:44Declan Donnelly?

  While Gary mostly moans about the UN convention and being a teenager.

• 44:47Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, that was very dead growl of me.

• 44:49Declan Donnelly?

  It still cracks me up that, without even knowing it, a bunch of confused kids were learning English off you lot, pages included for a peek. Thanks for the podcast and accidentally being part of my school.

• 45:02Ant McPartlin?

  So for those just listening, there is a picture of me and a picture of Dec and text next to each one. So the text next to mine says, "Some people call me a hacker. I like my computer and I can do many things with its help. I've designed a new game for my brother and I've made a programme for my teacher of English. Now he can use computers at our English lessons." Tom.

• 45:23Declan Donnelly?

  Mine says, "I do love action films. Why? They're very dynamic and really exciting. They grab your attention from the first scene. I like films with a mysterious plot. They keep me in suspense. Action films are so various that can suit different tastes. Some people think that action films teach only to fight and kill. I don't agree with such opinions. They teach people to defend justice and to be strong and brave. I think it is not bad to want to look like heroes of action films." I actually wrote that. That's in my diary next week.

• 45:49Ant McPartlin?

  Well done, Gary.

• 45:50Declan Donnelly?

  That is so weird that we are...

• 45:51Ant McPartlin?

  That's really weird.

• 45:52Declan Donnelly?

  We're kind of school famous in Russia.

• 45:53Ant McPartlin?

  School famous in Russia? That's really good. Next letter. "In 2005, my daughter Toni was luckily enough to be chosen to play William Roach in the golden shot game you both hosted."

• 46:06Declan Donnelly?

  Oh, yeah.

• 46:06Ant McPartlin?

  "She didn't beat him, but she received from you loads of gifts, which included a trip to South Africa for two..."

• 46:12Declan Donnelly?

  How's that?

• 46:12Ant McPartlin?

  "...and many other..." How's that? "And many other gorgeous prizes, one being a huge gas barbecue." In brackets, BBQ. Yeah. Didn't need that. Didn't need that.

• 46:26Declan Donnelly?

  Has she written barbecue?

• 46:27Ant McPartlin?

  I know I'm barely educated, but I didn't need it.

• 46:29Declan Donnelly?

  Has she written barbecue?

• 46:30Ant McPartlin?

  BBQ then BBQ.

• 46:33Ant McPartlin?

  "To this day, the BBQ is still in use."

• 46:36Declan Donnelly?

  Wow.

• 46:36Ant McPartlin?

  "Her daughter, who is eight years old, is a huge fan of you both and often explains to her friends that Ant Dec gave her mum this BBQ." "So this wonderful BBQ, which is 21 years old, is still going and much loved by us all. I just wonder if other people have prizes that are still being used that you have given them. Just a thought. Much love, Jane." Thank you, Jane. I'm really pleased that the barbecue...

• 47:00Declan Donnelly?

  BBQ.

• 47:00Ant McPartlin?

  BBQ is still going strong. Yeah, that's very good because we've given away a lot of prizes over the years on our TV shows.

• 47:08Declan Donnelly?

  Given away a lot of foot spas.

• 47:09Ant McPartlin?

  A lot of footspaws and especially on Saturday night takeaway where you don't just watch the adverts.

• 47:13Declan Donnelly?

  You.

• 47:14Ant McPartlin?

  Winner. People used to walk away with all sorts of crazy things. So it'd be good to know if they're still going strong. See if we can beat the 21 year old BBQ.

• 47:25Declan Donnelly?

  We should give something away on this.

• 47:27Ant McPartlin?

  Prizes.

• 47:27Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah.

• 47:27Ant McPartlin?

  BBQ.

• 47:28Declan Donnelly?

  Not a BBQ.

• 47:29Ant McPartlin?

  We should give something away. Got anything to give away?

• 47:32Speaker 02

  Mark, respect guys t-shirt.

• 47:34Ant McPartlin?

  Respect guys t-shirt. Yeah. Respect guys t-shirt. Do you want it? Who wants it? You can have it.

• 47:38Declan Donnelly?

  We should think of something to give away for like good letters and good interactions. We'll work on that. Thanks for all of your letters. Keep them coming in. [email protected].

• 47:49Ant McPartlin?

  There you go. That's the end of the episode.

• 47:50Declan Donnelly?

  Is that it already?

• 47:51Ant McPartlin?

  That's it.

• 47:51Declan Donnelly?

  Oh, I've been looking forward to that and it's been over so quickly.

• 47:54Ant McPartlin?

  Why don't we do it again next week?

• 47:56Declan Donnelly?

  You're on.

• 47:57Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, okay.

• 47:57Declan Donnelly?

  I'll do it.

• 47:58Ant McPartlin?

  Meet you back here at the hangout.

• 48:01Declan Donnelly?

  Thanks for all of your letters, all of the stuff you send in. Please keep it coming. We love looking at it. We love looking at your comments as well.

• 48:07Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, we do. Any jingles, anything loud, please. We want you to be part of this show as much as we are.

• 48:12Declan Donnelly?

  We will be here on Monday for a very exciting mystery door episode.

• 48:19Declan Donnelly?

  Can't miss that one.

• 48:20Ant McPartlin?

  With a good guest, can I say?

• 48:22Declan Donnelly?

  No, you can't say that.

• 48:23Ant McPartlin?

  It's a very good guest.

• 48:24Declan Donnelly?

  No, you can't say that.

• 48:24Ant McPartlin?

  Very good guest.

• 48:26Declan Donnelly?

  He's given away already.

• 48:26Ant McPartlin?

  I haven't, I haven't said his name.

• 48:28Declan Donnelly?

  We've got a very exciting mystery door episode on Monday and then we're back next Thursday from the hangout for another hanging out with me and him. Until then.

• 48:36Ant McPartlin?

  Love you loads. Bye.

• 48:36Declan Donnelly?

  Love you. Respect guys. See you next week.

• 48:39Ant McPartlin?

  Have a sexy night. Voluntaries, Dan.

• 48:42Declan Donnelly?

  Bye.

• 48:43Ant McPartlin?

  Bye.

• 48:44Declan Donnelly?

  Are you standing there?

• 48:45Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, yes.

• 48:55Speaker 08

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• 49:25Speaker 09

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• 49:54Speaker 10

  Now, more than ever, we need someone on our side. But Rob Whitman? Whitman's votes drove up costs, cut Medicaid, and risked 350,000 Virginians' health care to pay for tax breaks for himself and his donors. He's not on our side. Shannon Taylor will fight corruption, cut taxes, and bring down costs. This November, vote for Shannon Taylor. She's for us. Paid for by HMP, the House Majority PAC dot com. Not authorized by any candidate or candidate's committee.