Ant Forgets Dec’s Birthday 🎂😬

It’s a VERY special day on the pod… IT’S DEC’S BIRTHDAY! But has anyone remembered? Stay tuned as the boys meet a real life Canadian who puts their Canadian slang to the test, Ant reveals the best advice he’s ever received, and Dec gets stuck into a beaver’s tail! Plus, we play Gauge the Age, more of your grumbles and another trick of the trade that blows the boys’ minds! As always, keep your correspondence coming to [email protected]. Sign off your email with the name you’d like us to use. If you’d rather we didn’t mention your surname, simply leave it out. And if you’d like a full-name shout-out, throw the whole thing in there! ----- 00:00 - Coming Up01:00 - The Yoga Bug04:20 - A Cute Wake Up Call06:45 - A Beaver’s Tail09:05 - Ant’s Canadian Doppelgänger11:25 - Canadian Slang Quiz20:11 - Grumbles25:30 - A High Pitched Serenade28:50 - Tricks of the Trade32:25 - Gage the Age42:14 - 16 School Cakes47:40 - Broadcast Channel - Listener Questions51:50 - Dec’s Turn Off's Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Speaker 00

  Observe. The North American Dad. 50s. Great polo collection. He enters his vehicle information on Carvana. An offer appears in minutes. Remarkable. He squints, reads it again, smiles and says, dang, that's a good offer. The highest form of approval. No haggling, no hassle. No one called him boss. He's still on the couch. Astonishing. Sell your car today on carvana.com. Pickup fees may apply.

• 0:30Speaker 01

  I get so many headaches every month.

• 0:32Speaker 02

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• 0:38Speaker 03

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• 1:22Speaker 02

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• 1:31Speaker 04

  When fall comes back around, there's a sense of a reset. And new pieces from Lululemon's Fall Drop are an inspiration to push your goals and elevate your routines. As your calendar fills, easy-to-layer styles meet the demands of your day. And as you challenge yourself to try even more, versatile sets transition with you. The Lululemon Fall Lineup brings new levels of comfort and confidence, whether you're starting something fresh or starting something over. Check out the latest arrivals in store and on lululemon.com now.

• 2:00Declan Donnelly?

  Coming up on today's show, we finally meet a real-life Canadian.

• 2:04Ant McPartlin?

  Yay! We hear another one of your trade secrets.

• 2:07Declan Donnelly?

  And discovers he has quite a beautiful fall set home.

• 2:10Ant McPartlin?

  We share some of the best advice we've ever been given.

• 2:13Declan Donnelly?

  And it's my birthday!

• 2:15Ant McPartlin?

  What? Is it?

• 2:16Declan Donnelly?

  Enjoy the show!

• 2:23Declan Donnelly?

  Hello, everybody! Welcome back to our Canadian hangout for another Canadian hanging out with me and him. We're still here in Canada!

• 2:31Ant McPartlin?

  We're still in Canada! Going well, isn't it?

• 2:34Declan Donnelly?

  It's going very, very well. It's lovely to be back with you again. We're right into the-

• 2:39Ant McPartlin?

  Are you talking to me or are you talking to everybody else?

• 2:41Declan Donnelly?

  To everybody else.

• 2:42Ant McPartlin?

  Okay, right.

• 2:44Ant McPartlin?

  I've seen you every day and every night, every morning, every lunchtime, every dinner time.

• 2:50Declan Donnelly?

  We work together, we eat together, we yoga together.

• 2:53Ant McPartlin?

  We do yoga together.

• 2:55Declan Donnelly?

  We've been doing yoga in the mornings.

• 2:55Ant McPartlin?

  We've done more yoga, haven't we?

• 2:57Declan Donnelly?

  We have. We're very, very bendy now.

• 2:59Ant McPartlin?

  Do you know what the day you didn't do, I haven't told you this. So, the day you didn't do, there was only a couple of us at the front of the class.

• 3:09Declan Donnelly?

  I noticed as well, you were right front and centre of the class.

• 3:11Ant McPartlin?

  Right front. I'm really getting on with the yoga teacher now. I am. I really am.

• 3:15Declan Donnelly?

  Look at me, look how bendy I am.

• 3:16Ant McPartlin?

  She loves my downward dog.

• 3:18Declan Donnelly?

  Little dirty downward dog.

• 3:21Ant McPartlin?

  The guy in the back right-hand corner.

• 3:23Declan Donnelly?

  Oh yeah, I saw him.

• 3:24Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, you were there for that one?

• 3:25Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah.

• 3:26Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, you saw him?

• 3:26Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah.

• 3:27Ant McPartlin?

  And then when she says, "Where's your wife today?"

• 3:30Declan Donnelly?

  I didn't hear this.

• 3:31Ant McPartlin?

  He says, "Oh, my wife had quite a grumbly stomach in the night, and she was up all night, so we don't know if it's a bug or something she's eating." And I'm like, "And you've come to a yoga class where everyone's breathing out, breathing hard, and you're sat in the back breathing like that in an air with no- in a room with no windows open?"

• 3:52Declan Donnelly?

  No air.

• 3:54Ant McPartlin?

  And I was lying in bed, I started thinking, "Rrrr."

• 3:58Ant McPartlin?

  "I've caught it off him!"

• 4:00Declan Donnelly?

  I've got a yoga bug.

• 4:02Ant McPartlin?

  "I've got a yoga bug?" That's just, how rude is that?

• 4:05Declan Donnelly?

  That is a bit rude.

• 4:07Ant McPartlin?

  "My wife's got a grumbly..." You should be in bed. It was 7:00 AM.

• 4:12Ant McPartlin?

  So yeah, we've done yoga. It's been great, really relaxing.

• 4:15Declan Donnelly?

  Really relaxing. Hasn't been stressful at all.

• 4:18Ant McPartlin?

  I'm in a real flow state when I do it.

• 4:19Declan Donnelly?

  Hasn't been stressful at all. Are you sleeping all right out here?

• 4:23Ant McPartlin?

  Okay, I still wake up in the night.

• 4:25Declan Donnelly?

  I have this thing, right, when we are away, and we travel a lot for work, don't we?

• 4:30Ant McPartlin?

  We do.

• 4:30Declan Donnelly?

  Different hotels, bits and bobs. And I have this thing, because of our job and what we do,

• 4:38Declan Donnelly?

  when we're hosting a TV show, you're always looking for the camera with the red light on it, because that's the one you've got to talk to. So when I'm away and I've got jet lag and I wake up in the middle of the night, you know the TV's got a red light on it, and I kind of go, "Oh!" And I kind of think I'm on telly.

• 4:53Ant McPartlin?

  "Welcome to... I'm slowly getting out of here!"

• 4:55Declan Donnelly?

  And I kind of go, "Oh, I'm on telly!" And I have those dreams sometimes that I-

• 4:59Ant McPartlin?

  But didn't you, you used to have these back when we're doing Saturday mornings?

• 5:03Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah.

• 5:04Ant McPartlin?

  And didn't you used to wake up like in anxious sweats?

• 5:06Declan Donnelly?

  Always. Always. I used to have anxiety dreams before shows.

• 5:09Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah?

• 5:09Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah.

• 5:10Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, you're having anxiety dreams now?

• 5:11Declan Donnelly?

  I dream about the show. I had a dream last night about a format, about the format of like a challenge and stuff.

• 5:18Ant McPartlin?

  Right.

• 5:18Declan Donnelly?

  And people weren't getting it and I was getting really irate, like, "No, you don't understand." So yeah, and then I woke up and the red light was on. I thought, "Oh my God, I'm on the telly." I do that quite a lot.

• 5:27Ant McPartlin?

  I'm in my pants. "Welcome, I'm slowly getting out of here!" I'm in my pants.

• 5:32Speaker 07

  Do you have a sneak talk?

• 5:34Declan Donnelly?

  I don't know. Don't know.

• 5:36Ant McPartlin?

  He snores, I know that. My God, for such a little fellow, the noise that comes out of his mouth is huge. It is. It's like an airplane taking off.

• 5:48Declan Donnelly?

  Not anymore.

• 5:49Ant McPartlin?

  How, why? What have you done?

• 5:51Declan Donnelly?

  I've just stopped doing it.

• 5:52Ant McPartlin?

  You can't just, you can't, what you've just said to yourself, "I'm going to stop snoring," that's it.

• 5:57Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah.

• 5:57Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, because you're sleeping on your own out here, you don't know.

• 6:00Declan Donnelly?

  Oh, maybe.

• 6:01Ant McPartlin?

  "Right, I'm going to sleep around at yours tonight, let you know what happens."

• 6:03Declan Donnelly?

  Absolutely not.

• 6:03Ant McPartlin?

  "Should I take a camera and go around and record him?" Oh, yeah, I know. Why don't you just record yourself and then we can play it on the pod next time?

• 6:12Declan Donnelly?

  Not because then I'll wake up going, "Oh, I'm on. I've been recorded."

• 6:16Ant McPartlin?

  Two cameras!

• 6:16Declan Donnelly?

  "I've been recorded."

• 6:17Ant McPartlin?

  There's a main shot and there's a close-up on my phone.

• 6:21Declan Donnelly?

  I had a very rude awakening the other day.

• 6:23Ant McPartlin?

  Did you?

• 6:24Declan Donnelly?

  3 o'clock in the morning, my phone started ringing. And I normally put my phone on do not disturb. Well, in fact, I had put my phone on do not disturb. But then, for some reason, you know when somebody rings your phone and it rings on your laptop or on your iPad?

• 6:36Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah.

• 6:37Declan Donnelly?

  So my phone was on do not disturb, but my iPad and laptop started ringing in the middle of the night, 3 o'clock in the morning, woke me up. I was like, "Oh, red light, oh!" There's a-

• 6:46Ant McPartlin?

  Do you ever wake up in a nice way?

• 6:49Declan Donnelly?

  Very rarely. Very rarely.

• 6:52Ant McPartlin?

  So anxious and chaotic.

• 6:54Declan Donnelly?

  But then it was going off, so I was like, "What the hell is that?" I grabbed my phone, I looked at it, the phone was ringing, and I was a bit like that. Swiped it, opened it, big face in the, in the screen, Isla, had nicked mummy's phone and wanted to ring daddy.

• 7:09Speaker 07

  You can't be angry at that.

• 7:10Declan Donnelly?

  I couldn't be angry. I couldn't be angry.

• 7:13Speaker 07

  Did you answer?

• 7:13Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah. "Hi daddy!" I said, "It's 3 o'clock in the morning, darling." But it was lovely. It was very nice. And then I phoned her back later on. She went, "I'm so sorry daddy, I didn't realise." I said, "Can't be angry at you."

• 7:26Ant McPartlin?

  You can't. Well done. Well done.

• 7:28Declan Donnelly?

  It was just nice that she wanted to talk to daddy.

• 7:30Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, it is nice. Have you had anyone from the hotel that you've spoken to who isn't British or Australian?

• 7:37Declan Donnelly?

  We've met very few Canadians.

• 7:39Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, really few left.

• 7:40Declan Donnelly?

  It's all, they're all Brits, Aussies.

• 7:42Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah. So obviously the guys in the crew, a lot of them are Canadian, but we don't see a lot of them because they're out shooting in the forest, so they're with the celebrities, so we don't get, on our time shifts, we don't get to see them. Even the girl who's cleaning my room, who happened to come out of the room yesterday morning as she was coming in, you know, when you open the door and like-

• 8:03Declan Donnelly?

  Housekeeper there, ready to go.

• 8:04Ant McPartlin?

  Like, ready to go. I was like, "Don't worry, you can go in." And she went, "Oh, thank you very much." I'm like, "Where are you from?" She went, "I'm from Essex. So, nice to meet you." And she went, "Oh, it's really nice to meet you." And she obviously recognised us. And then I was like, in a bit of a sweat, walking down the corridor going, "Have I put all them pants away? Them dirty, them dirty..." "Where have I put all that? Where have I put them bits?"

• 8:26Ant McPartlin?

  So yeah, so yeah, not even, not even the housemaids are Canadian. I don't know, where do we go to meet Canadian people in Canada? "Where are you all? If you're Canadian, you're watching, come and visit us. We'd like to speak to you." I haven't heard any guy say, "Well, hello there, buddy."

• 8:39Declan Donnelly?

  So you're the only one?

• 8:40Ant McPartlin?

  I know.

• 8:42Declan Donnelly?

  And speaking of Canadian, in front of us here are two boxes on the table, red boxes. But on the side here, it says, "Beaver Tales."

• 8:51Ant McPartlin?

  It also says, "Happiness inside."

• 8:54Declan Donnelly?

  So these are a traditional Canadian snack, right?

• 8:56Speaker 07

  Yes, they are-

• 8:58Ant McPartlin?

  A beaver tail?

• 8:59Speaker 07

  Yes, a famous Canadian fried dough pastry.

• 9:02Ant McPartlin?

  "Bonjour, my sweet," it says on the lid. This is not a beaver tail, right?

• 9:06Speaker 07

  It's dough.

• 9:08Declan Donnelly?

  It looks like a schnitzel.

• 9:09Ant McPartlin?

  It does look like a schnitzel. They haven't like deep-fried a actual beaver's tail, because I wouldn't eat that.

• 9:13Speaker 07

  No, exactly.

• 9:14Declan Donnelly?

  So that's a trial.

• 9:15Ant McPartlin?

  Are you meant to have these hot, really?

• 9:18Speaker 07

  Yeah, ideally, but-

• 9:20Ant McPartlin?

  Because I presume this is like-

• 9:21Declan Donnelly?

  Very cold.

• 9:21Ant McPartlin?

  I presume, it's very cold. I presume this is like cinnamon sugar.

• 9:26Speaker 07

  He said it'd still be nice.

• 9:27Ant McPartlin?

  So it's like a churro kind of thing?

• 9:29Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 9:29Declan Donnelly?

  I'm not sure about, oh gosh, it's very cold.

• 9:33Ant McPartlin?

  That one would have been amazing. The fact that it's cold is a real shame.

• 9:39Declan Donnelly?

  It's very sugary.

• 9:40Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, that's what I like about it. Cinnamon sugar.

• 9:43Declan Donnelly?

  Is this really popular here?

• 9:44Ant McPartlin?

  Do you like a churro?

• 9:46Declan Donnelly?

  I could take a little.

• 9:47Ant McPartlin?

  Well, that's why you won't like these. But if that was hot, that would be lovely.

• 9:50Speaker 07

  Yeah, and they do it with like Nutella and-

• 9:52Ant McPartlin?

  When did you buy these?

• 9:53Declan Donnelly?

  Tuesday.

• 9:54Speaker 07

  Late last night.

• 9:56Declan Donnelly?

  Week past Tuesday.

• 9:58Ant McPartlin?

  You've ruined it, really. You've ruined my beaver tail. I need a fresh beaver tail. Where did you get it from?

• 10:03Speaker 07

  Beaver's House.

• 10:05Ant McPartlin?

  Beaver's House, yeah, okay.

• 10:07Declan Donnelly?

  Oh, it's very sugary.

• 10:08Ant McPartlin?

  That's right on my street, that is. I'd like to try that again. So tell me where you got it. I'm going to go there, I'm going to get a fresh one. I'm going to report back, because that is not doing it justice, a cold, hard beaver tail.

• 10:21Declan Donnelly?

  And you need a bit of Nutella on it.

• 10:23Ant McPartlin?

  Ice cold.

• 10:24Speaker 07

  Traditional one.

• 10:26Ant McPartlin?

  Is it traditional?

• 10:26Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 10:27Ant McPartlin?

  To have it that cold?

• 10:28Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 10:28Ant McPartlin?

  Or you just couldn't be bothered?

• 10:30Speaker 07

  Well, we had to come in very early today, couldn't get the shop.

• 10:33Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, you left at the same time as us?

• 10:39Speaker 07

  Yeah, the shop doesn't open until midday.

• 10:42Declan Donnelly?

  Midday?

• 10:43Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 10:43Declan Donnelly?

  You're making this up. No shops open at midday.

• 10:47Speaker 07

  It does and it closes at 10:00 PM.

• 10:48Declan Donnelly?

  You know I'm going to check up on this.

• 10:49Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah. We're still going to check up on this. Well, thanks for the effort. Thanks for all of your recommendations.

• 10:57Declan Donnelly?

  Thank you for your recommendations.

• 10:58Ant McPartlin?

  Thanks to all of the little effort you went to on getting that beaver tail.

• 11:02Declan Donnelly?

  Little or no effort, thank you for the recommendations.

• 11:06Declan Donnelly?

  I'll let here, I want to bring to your attention, says, hi guys.

• 11:10Ant McPartlin?

  Hi.

• 11:11Declan Donnelly?

  I was driving down the road in Canada and to my surprise, there was Ant.

• 11:16Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, not again.

• 11:18Declan Donnelly?

  Why, she spotted you in Canada. You've made it to west coast, Canada. Loving the pod, Emma.

• 11:24Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, I am west coast, Canada. That's where we are, Vancouver.

• 11:27Declan Donnelly?

  No, no, no.

• 11:30Declan Donnelly?

  You are on west coast, Canada.

• 11:32Ant McPartlin?

  It's him again. It's him again. It's the other one.

• 11:36Declan Donnelly?

  He's Mr. Ruta this time.

• 11:38Ant McPartlin?

  Mr. Ruta, that's, if that was Australian, that would mean something very different. Oh, right, Aussies.

• 11:46Declan Donnelly?

  Mr. Mr. Ruta.

• 11:47Ant McPartlin?

  What did you do? Fix your, um, fix your wifi?

• 11:50Declan Donnelly?

  Uh, he's plumbing. He's a plumber.

• 11:51Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, I thought like Ruta, you know, like you've got your Ruta plumber. Okay. He's like the older version of the younger one that we see without the hat.

• 12:00Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah.

• 12:01Ant McPartlin?

  Do you know what I mean? Like the ice cream guy is a bit younger than him. So he's, he's slightly older. He's me now, whereas the ice cream guy is me in my thirties, twenties, twenties, thirties. Oh my God.

• 12:13Declan Donnelly?

  There he is.

• 12:14Ant McPartlin?

  Do you think the person who originally sketched that still gets money? Or do you think it's just ripped off around the world? Do you think I am ripped off all the way around the world?

• 12:24Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah, I think so. I think it's just you've got such a.

• 12:27Ant McPartlin?

  Classic, classic looking face.

• 12:29Declan Donnelly?

  Quite a saleable face. It's quite sellable.

• 12:31Ant McPartlin?

  Sellable, yeah.

• 12:32Declan Donnelly?

  You know, you could.

• 12:33Ant McPartlin?

  You're right.

• 12:34Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah.

• 12:35Ant McPartlin?

  Could sell anything.

• 12:36Declan Donnelly?

  Anything.

• 12:37Ant McPartlin?

  Plumbing, ice cream.

• 12:38Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah.

• 12:39Speaker 07

  Kebabs.

• 12:39Declan Donnelly?

  Kebabs.

• 12:41Ant McPartlin?

  I sell a lot of kebabs. This, this face sells a lot of kebabs.

• 12:45Declan Donnelly?

  So if you're starting a new business and you really need to succeed, why don't you think about having Ant here as the face of your business?

• 12:51Ant McPartlin?

  Why not? I won't sue.

• 12:54Ant McPartlin?

  I mean, I will. If you use that, I don't care. But I, I will. I'm very litigious. So I'm going to make it my mission for the rest of this week to speak to more Canadians. To actively try and get out there and speak to Canadians.

• 13:08Declan Donnelly?

  Meet the people.

• 13:10Ant McPartlin?

  Are you?

• 13:11Declan Donnelly?

  No.

• 13:11Ant McPartlin?

  You're just going to lock yourself away in your ivory tower, are you?

• 13:14Declan Donnelly?

  Yes.

• 13:15Ant McPartlin?

  In your yoga palace.

• 13:17Declan Donnelly?

  Going to keep talking to Brits and Aussies.

• 13:19Ant McPartlin?

  No, but I'm going to do that. I am.

• 13:21Speaker 07

  If you do, I've got some phrases that you can maybe learn.

• 13:25Ant McPartlin?

  Learn?

• 13:25Speaker 07

  So you can impress them.

• 13:26Declan Donnelly?

  What, like Canadian slang words or Canadian, Canadian chatter?

• 13:30Speaker 07

  Yes.

• 13:30Ant McPartlin?

  Come on then.

• 13:31Speaker 07

  So I've got a little quiz.

• 13:32Declan Donnelly?

  Go on then.

• 13:32Ant McPartlin?

  Right, okay.

• 13:33Speaker 07

  You can guess what it means.

• 13:34Ant McPartlin?

  Great. Look, Steve, put your teeth on. I love the quiz. Look at him. Look. I love the quiz. I just love quizzes.

• 13:40Speaker 07

  Okay, so number one, if someone tells you to nize it, what do they mean?

• 13:46Ant McPartlin?

  Nize it?

• 13:47Declan Donnelly?

  Nize it?

• 13:48Speaker 07

  Pronounced like nice, but with a Z sound.

• 13:50Declan Donnelly?

  Nize it?

• 13:51Ant McPartlin?

  Nize it.

• 13:52Declan Donnelly?

  That's, you've got to kind of, um, if you're nizing it.

• 13:54Ant McPartlin?

  Go for it.

• 13:57Declan Donnelly?

  I think you've got to cut something off.

• 13:58Ant McPartlin?

  Go for it.

• 13:59Speaker 07

  You're saying go for it, you're saying?

• 14:01Declan Donnelly?

  Chop, chop something off.

• 14:02Speaker 07

  It means they're telling you to be quiet or stop talking.

• 14:07Ant McPartlin?

  Nize it. Oh, noise it.

• 14:08Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 14:09Ant McPartlin?

  Like noise it. Oi, noise it.

• 14:11Declan Donnelly?

  Nize it.

• 14:12Ant McPartlin?

  Okay, right. I won't, I, when the first, the first time I meet a Canadian.

• 14:17Declan Donnelly?

  Hang on, we've got a Canadian over here.

• 14:18Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah.

• 14:19Speaker 07

  It's Nitz. Nitz.

• 14:21Ant McPartlin?

  Nitz it.

• 14:21Declan Donnelly?

  Nitz it.

• 14:22Speaker 07

  Nitz it.

• 14:23Ant McPartlin?

  Okay. Do you want, do you want to do this quiz?

• 14:25Speaker 07

  Maybe you should, maybe you should be doing this, not me.

• 14:29Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, go on, come and read the slang.

• 14:30Declan Donnelly?

  God, we've got an actual Canadian. I've never seen one in real life.

• 14:35Ant McPartlin?

  Whenever I'm talking about not being a Canadian, you've got to start the call. Why did you not just speak up? And just go, I'm Canadian. We've been doing this for three weeks.

• 14:46Speaker 07

  I just kind of wanted to be aloof, you know?

• 14:48Ant McPartlin?

  Aloof? What?

• 14:50Declan Donnelly?

  She's a spy. She's a Canadian spy.

• 14:53Ant McPartlin?

  I feel so rude. I'm talking about having that Canadian, can you believe she's on the call all this time? And now she pipes up.

• 15:02Speaker 07

  It's because I talk about all the Canadians about it after.

• 15:05Ant McPartlin?

  See, can you hear her voice? She's probably Canadian. Well, and then every time I've said, well, hello then buddy, you might have, you might have gone, oh yeah, they do say that, they don't say that. What is, just something. How would you greet someone in the street?

• 15:19Speaker 07

  Hey there. Hello there.

• 15:27Ant McPartlin?

  Oh yeah, makes sense.

• 15:28Declan Donnelly?

  Oh my God.

• 15:31Declan Donnelly?

  Oh my God. This is brilliant.

• 15:33Speaker 07

  Don't carry on.

• 15:34Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, absolutely.

• 15:37Speaker 07

  What do the Canadians call a trash panda?

• 15:40Declan Donnelly?

  Trash panda?

• 15:41Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 15:43Declan Donnelly?

  A trash panda?

• 15:45Speaker 07

  It's an animal.

• 15:46Ant McPartlin?

  It's a bear. It's a black bear.

• 15:47Speaker 07

  Canadian animal.

• 15:48Ant McPartlin?

  Black bear.

• 15:49Declan Donnelly?

  A brown bear.

• 15:50Speaker 07

  We call the raccoons.

• 15:54Ant McPartlin?

  Raccoon, of course. Panda, black and white.

• 15:56Speaker 07

  Okay, how about if you try to wheel? What are you attempting to do?

• 16:00Ant McPartlin?

  Try to wheel?

• 16:01Declan Donnelly?

  Wheel?

• 16:01Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 16:02Declan Donnelly?

  I'm getting out of here.

• 16:03Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, we're leaving.

• 16:04Declan Donnelly?

  I'm going to split. I'm going to leave.

• 16:05Speaker 07

  The opposite of what it means.

• 16:07Ant McPartlin?

  What it means I'm getting in there. I'm arriving.

• 16:10Speaker 07

  Yeah, well, you're getting in there with a lady. You're flirting.

• 16:13Ant McPartlin?

  You're getting in there with a lady?

• 16:14Declan Donnelly?

  You what?

• 16:15Ant McPartlin?

  What?

• 16:16Speaker 07

  This slang is not for here, but it's like a prairie slang.

• 16:21Declan Donnelly?

  Okay.

• 16:22Speaker 07

  What is a bunny hug?

• 16:23Declan Donnelly?

  A bunny hug?

• 16:24Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 16:25Declan Donnelly?

  It's a hug from behind. No? Like a, like a, like a rabbit on another rabbit's back and you have a hug.

• 16:30Ant McPartlin?

  Is it a sexual position? Well, hold on a second. The last one was about pulling someone in a bar. So I'm just taking you to the next step.

• 16:40Declan Donnelly?

  Once you've done wheeling.

• 16:42Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, once you've done wheeling.

• 16:43Declan Donnelly?

  You jump on and have a bunny hug.

• 16:44Ant McPartlin?

  You have a little bunny hug.

• 16:45Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 16:46Ant McPartlin?

  Making love.

• 16:46Speaker 07

  It's something you wear. It's a hoodie.

• 16:49Ant McPartlin?

  It's a hoodie.

• 16:49Speaker 07

  A hoodie. Like I guess a jumper for you guys, right?

• 16:53Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah.

• 16:53Speaker 07

  Jumper.

• 16:54Declan Donnelly?

  Jumper.

• 16:55Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 16:55Ant McPartlin?

  Jumper.

• 16:56Speaker 07

  It's a bunny hug. That's all the slang.

• 16:59Declan Donnelly?

  This gentleman, a real live Canadian.

• 17:04Declan Donnelly?

  And there she goes.

• 17:05Ant McPartlin?

  There she goes. She just walked in front of our camera as well.

• 17:07Declan Donnelly?

  Into the corner.

• 17:07Ant McPartlin?

  She's now the star of the show.

• 17:10Declan Donnelly?

  Back in the corner with you.

• 17:12Ant McPartlin?

  At any point when we talk about Canada, feel free to chip in, to chirp in. Chirp away, okay?

• 17:18Declan Donnelly?

  Chirp and chat. Feel free to chirp and chat. I think we'll have a, get a little top up of tea and coffee here.

• 17:24Ant McPartlin?

  Yes, please.

• 17:25Declan Donnelly?

  We'll hand back to London, to, uh, London Ant and Dec for this commercial. Back to you, boys.

• 17:32Declan Donnelly?

  This podcast is sponsored by Santander, who understand that managing money can be overwhelming and building small, everyday habits can make it feel manageable.

• 17:42Ant McPartlin?

  Do you remember holidays when we were younger?

• 17:46Declan Donnelly?

  Well, I remember the first holidays we went on as mates.

• 17:49Ant McPartlin?

  That's what I mean.

• 17:49Declan Donnelly?

  Do you remember those? Like the, um, our first trip to Grand Canaria?

• 17:53Ant McPartlin?

  Yes.

• 17:53Declan Donnelly?

  First lads holiday we ever went on was Grand Canaria. Me and you, I had to go and get a one year passport.

• 18:00Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah.

• 18:00Declan Donnelly?

  We didn't have passports, so we went and got one, back in the day.

• 18:02Ant McPartlin?

  Can you believe that?

• 18:03Declan Donnelly?

  A one year passport.

• 18:04Ant McPartlin?

  Passport. Blown your mind. Blown your mind.

• 18:08Declan Donnelly?

  But then you thought, well, I'll just get a one year passport. If I go on holiday next year, I'll just get another one year passport. Quite why we didn't get 10 year passports.

• 18:15Ant McPartlin?

  Probably it was more expensive.

• 18:16Declan Donnelly?

  Probably.

• 18:17Ant McPartlin?

  I remember your burnt feet. That we've talked about on here before.

• 18:22Declan Donnelly?

  There was that in, uh, that was in Antigua.

• 18:25Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah. Yeah. We had to stay in the room for three days because you burn your feet so badly.

• 18:28Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah, that wasn't.

• 18:29Ant McPartlin?

  Because the cream rubbed off. That was a good memory for me, not so good for you.

• 18:33Declan Donnelly?

  Not so good for me.

• 18:34Ant McPartlin?

  Funny for me. And do you know what I do remember though? The feeling of saving up the money so you could go on a holiday.

• 18:42Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah, it makes you feel like an adult.

• 18:44Ant McPartlin?

  It does.

• 18:45Declan Donnelly?

  And the fact that you've saved a little bit of money over a long period of time, um, makes it feel really rewarding at the end of it.

• 18:51Ant McPartlin?

  Well, that's the thing. Saving little by little can get to a lot. Uh, and with Santander, you can do just that with their regular saver. They'll help you build good saving habits to achieve something that's important to you.

• 19:03Declan Donnelly?

  The account offers a rewarding interest rate for customers who can save up to £200 each month from a Santander current account.

• 19:12Ant McPartlin?

  Visit santander.co.uk or search Santander Regular Saver. Santander, it starts here. Over to Heckless Corner for the T's and C's.

• 19:21Speaker 07

  Get 8% AAR slash gross variable, including 5% AAR slash gross variable bonus rate for the first year. Rates are correct as of September 2026 and may change. T's and C's and eligibility criteria apply.

• 19:34Ant McPartlin?

  This next section is sponsored by Gemini, Google's AI app. Autumn, Declan.

• 19:39Declan Donnelly?

  Love Autumn.

• 19:40Ant McPartlin?

  It's a good time to get back into a routine.

• 19:42Declan Donnelly?

  You know who's not in a routine?

• 19:44Ant McPartlin?

  Who?

• 19:45Declan Donnelly?

  Rocky the dog.

• 19:46Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, really? He's Rocky? Well, how? Why?

• 19:49Declan Donnelly?

  He hasn't quite got back into his routine since summer. I think summer kind of knocked him.

• 19:53Ant McPartlin?

  Mentally, he's on his holidays.

• 19:54Declan Donnelly?

  Mentally, he's still on his holidays. But he's like waking up in the mornings, really early, asking for food. Going to bed late, which is not great for my routine.

• 20:04Ant McPartlin?

  No.

• 20:05Declan Donnelly?

  He's 13 now as well. So he's finding it hard, I think, to get back into routines since the summer.

• 20:10Ant McPartlin?

  Gemini, I have a 13 year old Dachshund called Rocky.

• 20:16Declan Donnelly?

  Oh my God, so do I.

• 20:18Ant McPartlin?

  Don't be silly. We need to get Rocky used to not being around us humans as much in the day again after the summer. Can you give me a gradual routine? Please. Okay. This is scheduled.

• 20:36Declan Donnelly?

  Go on.

• 20:37Ant McPartlin?

  Week one, the I forgot my keys phase.

• 20:39Declan Donnelly?

  Right, yeah, I know this.

• 20:40Ant McPartlin?

  Showing Rocky that departures are completely normal and brief. So I forgot my keys, pop out the room, pop back in.

• 20:46Declan Donnelly?

  Back in.

• 20:47Ant McPartlin?

  You haven't forgot your keys.

• 20:48Declan Donnelly?

  No.

• 20:48Ant McPartlin?

  Just, you don't have to say that.

• 20:50Declan Donnelly?

  No.

• 20:50Ant McPartlin?

  Week two, the pop into the shops phase.

• 20:52Declan Donnelly?

  Right.

• 20:53Ant McPartlin?

  That makes sense. Getting Rocky used to slightly longer solo stretches. And lastly, the full re rehearsal. So it's all about extending Rocky's alone time and getting his meals and naps regular. And he loves to nap. Do you ever wonder what dogs do when we're out the room?

• 21:10Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah, all the time. What do they get up to? Or do they just sleep?

• 21:13Ant McPartlin?

  Do they watch TV?

• 21:14Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah.

• 21:14Ant McPartlin?

  Eat popcorn?

• 21:15Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah.

• 21:15Ant McPartlin?

  Like just sit on the sofa.

• 21:17Declan Donnelly?

  Actually, that's a good idea.

• 21:18Ant McPartlin?

  What?

• 21:18Declan Donnelly?

  Why don't we ask and see if there are activities or things that I can leave him with to fill their time?

• 21:25Ant McPartlin?

  Gemini, could you give me some good enrichment activities I could leave for Rocky when we pop out for an hour?

• 21:33Declan Donnelly?

  And a half.

• 21:34Ant McPartlin?

  You've got stuff like, there's some examples here. Thanks Gemini. The frozen lick mat, the snuffle mat safari. You heard of this?

• 21:41Declan Donnelly?

  No.

• 21:42Ant McPartlin?

  The soft rubber food pyramid. Do you know this?

• 21:45Declan Donnelly?

  No.

• 21:45Ant McPartlin?

  Rule of thumb, before you leave the house, give Rocky his enrichment toy five minutes before you walk out the door. If he's already happily focused on licking or sniffing treats, he won't even notice the front door click shut.

• 21:58Declan Donnelly?

  That's a great call. Download the Gemini app today to unlock the power of Google AI on your phone. Check responses. Setup required. Compatibility and availability varies. 18 plus.

• 22:12Ant McPartlin?

  We have had lots of grumbles.

• 22:15Declan Donnelly?

  Good.

• 22:16Ant McPartlin?

  You'd be pleased to know.

• 22:17Declan Donnelly?

  I like a grumble. Let's get ready to grumble. Come on.

• 22:19Ant McPartlin?

  Uh, hi, I'm Declan Hecklers.

• 22:22Speaker 07

  Hey.

• 22:23Ant McPartlin?

  Canadian here?

• 22:25Declan Donnelly?

  Hey, buddy.

• 22:25Ant McPartlin?

  Hey, hey. I have a grumble for you. People who take their birthdays very seriously.

• 22:35Declan Donnelly?

  It's my birthday this week.

• 22:37Speaker 07

  Is it?

• 22:37Ant McPartlin?

  Is it?

• 22:38Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah. It's my birthday.

• 22:40Speaker 07

  When?

• 22:41Ant McPartlin?

  When?

• 22:41Declan Donnelly?

  Twenty fifth of September is my birthday.

• 22:43Ant McPartlin?

  Tomorrow?

• 22:44Declan Donnelly?

  Tomorrow.

• 22:44Speaker 07

  Oh, happy birthday for tomorrow.

• 22:46Ant McPartlin?

  Happy birthday for tomorrow.

• 22:47Declan Donnelly?

  Thank you.

• 22:49Declan Donnelly?

  Nobody remembered. That's lovely.

• 22:50Ant McPartlin?

  Because we're in Canada, it's weird, the time difference and all that.

• 22:53Declan Donnelly?

  That's right.

• 22:54Speaker 07

  So tell me if it's a birthday almost now then.

• 22:56Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, your birthday, Nanny, in the UK now.

• 22:58Declan Donnelly?

  This evening.

• 22:58Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah. Happy birthday.

• 22:59Declan Donnelly?

  Thursday evening in Canada, yeah, would be my British birthday.

• 23:02Speaker 07

  Oh, cool.

• 23:04Ant McPartlin?

  Happy birthday. I shall carry on?

• 23:06Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 23:06Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah, please. Yeah, carry on.

• 23:08Ant McPartlin?

  I'm all for a celebration, especially a big round number, but when someone has turned something random, like twenty seven or, I don't know, fifty one, and expects you to turn up to events that span across multiple days and want a gift, I have to draw the line. I'm British, so I obviously don't say anything and begrudgingly go to all of the events. But honestly, you were born, congrats, but I think you're fine. I think you're fine. We've all been born.

• 23:41Declan Donnelly?

  That's great.

• 23:42Ant McPartlin?

  Have your cake and eat it on a big birthday, but all the ones in between, chill out. Respect, guys. Harriet. That is an excellent grumble, Harriet.

• 23:51Declan Donnelly?

  I think you've hit the nail on the head there.

• 23:53Ant McPartlin?

  Do you agree?

• 23:54Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah, absolutely, especially birthdays that continue like over a long weekend or go on for days and days.

• 24:02Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah.

• 24:03Declan Donnelly?

  Or, oh, it's your birthday last Saturday, but I'm doing something the following Saturday. I was just like, no, no.

• 24:10Ant McPartlin?

  When you're a kid, it's fine.

• 24:11Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah.

• 24:11Ant McPartlin?

  It's fine just to celebrate your birthday on more than one day because you might see aunties or uncles on different days.

• 24:17Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah.

• 24:17Ant McPartlin?

  Or grandmas or nanas on different days. Um, so you get extra presents as the days go on, which is quite nice when you're a kid.

• 24:25Declan Donnelly?

  When you're a full-blown adult.

• 24:26Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, come on, grow up.

• 24:27Declan Donnelly?

  Get over it.

• 24:28Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, it's your birthday, grow up.

• 24:30Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah.

• 24:31Ant McPartlin?

  Literally grow up. I agree with you, Harriet. Good grumble.

• 24:34Declan Donnelly?

  Good grumble, Harriet, although it is my birthday this week and, um, might carry on all weekend, just, just because.

• 24:43Ant McPartlin?

  Cool, okay.

• 24:44Speaker 07

  Good for you.

• 24:44Ant McPartlin?

  Cool, good for you. What are you gonna do? You get, you get yourself out there and do stuff.

• 24:48Declan Donnelly?

  Gonna go and talk to some Canadians.

• 24:51Declan Donnelly?

  Go on, hear from Danny. Oi, oi, boys.

• 24:54Ant McPartlin?

  Oi, oi, Danny. Oi, oi, Savaloi.

• 24:57Declan Donnelly?

  Hoping I'll find an audience in YouTube for this grumble. The Happy Birthday Song. What is all that about? What are birthday grumbles this week?

• 25:06Ant McPartlin?

  There is, isn't there?

• 25:06Declan Donnelly?

  Is that a coincidence?

• 25:07Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah.

• 25:08Speaker 07

  Yeah, must be.

• 25:08Ant McPartlin?

  Must be a coincidence.

• 25:09Declan Donnelly?

  Firstly, it's a terrible song.

• 25:12Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, all right, Simon Cowell.

• 25:15Ant McPartlin?

  There's no need, isn't there?

• 25:15Declan Donnelly?

  Well, he's gonna tell you why. Danny says, everyone starts it too high in the register.

• 25:20Ant McPartlin?

  Happy birthday. Is that too high?

• 25:22Declan Donnelly?

  That's too high. No one could get the tune right.

• 25:25Ant McPartlin?

  Happy birthday to you. He's right, I went too high, yeah.

• 25:30Declan Donnelly?

  It's weirdly long.

• 25:32Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah.

• 25:33Declan Donnelly?

  And you have to awkwardly pretend you're surprised the whole way through as people sing it at you.

• 25:38Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, that's the worst.

• 25:40Declan Donnelly?

  Also, side note, do you join in? Is that weird if you join in?

• 25:46Declan Donnelly?

  Even worse when people at a restaurant sing it to make the whole restaurant stop and listen. Don't get me wrong, I'm not against communal singing, Christmas and at the football. It's fantastic.

• 25:56Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah.

• 25:57Declan Donnelly?

  It's just that song. Please, someone, give us another option.

• 26:02Declan Donnelly?

  Respect, guys, Danny. Danny makes a good point.

• 26:04Ant McPartlin?

  Danny makes a very good point. Um, there's a lot of questions in there, isn't there?

• 26:09Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah, but I think that the central crux of his grumble is a very good one.

• 26:14Ant McPartlin?

  I agree.

• 26:14Declan Donnelly?

  My other thing is everybody always sings it too slow.

• 26:18Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, they do.

• 26:19Declan Donnelly?

  Happy birthday. That's why it takes such a long time.

• 26:24Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah.

• 26:24Declan Donnelly?

  If you're gonna do it, you gotta go, happy birthday to you.

• 26:27Ant McPartlin?

  I, I have joined in when people have sang it to me before.

• 26:31Declan Donnelly?

  Have you?

• 26:31Ant McPartlin?

  Because it makes it less awkward. That feels so awkward when people are singing to you and you're just stood there and there's like a bank of people singing. Like, what else are you meant to do? Like, thanks.

• 26:41Declan Donnelly?

  I find I go.

• 26:42Ant McPartlin?

  Thanks, guys. Thanks. Like, you look at the board, thanks, thanks, thanks, thanks. So I just go, happy birthday to me.

• 26:51Speaker 07

  You always have yours in Australia, don't you?

• 26:53Ant McPartlin?

  Always have mine in Australia and the crew like to make a big deal of decorating the office where, where we, um, where we stay in, um.

• 26:59Declan Donnelly?

  Maybe, maybe that's what I'm gonna get tomorrow.

• 27:02Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, yeah.

• 27:03Speaker 07

  Yeah, it's a different crew here, remember?

• 27:05Ant McPartlin?

  Different crew and the time, and the time difference.

• 27:07Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 27:07Ant McPartlin?

  You've got to remember that.

• 27:08Speaker 07

  And, and it's known the Australians for years.

• 27:10Ant McPartlin?

  I've known the Australians. They're like brothers and sisters.

• 27:11Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 27:13Ant McPartlin?

  So you never know.

• 27:15Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 27:15Ant McPartlin?

  Fingers crossed.

• 27:16Declan Donnelly?

  Maybe not.

• 27:17Ant McPartlin?

  He's hoping. Uh, but I've got an alternative.

• 27:20Declan Donnelly?

  Good grumble though, Danny. Go on, what's your alternative?

• 27:22Ant McPartlin?

  Uh, happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday. Steve, you wonder?

• 27:31Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah, it doesn't really have an ending though, because that is like three and a half minutes long, the whole song.

• 27:35Ant McPartlin?

  Just sing that bit. You could still start it too high though. Happy birthday to you. Oh, so good. Wow.

• 27:43Speaker 07

  You never knew you could.

• 27:44Ant McPartlin?

  It's like, it's like weather of watching this, if you are. Cast me, baby, cast me.

• 27:51Ant McPartlin?

  Cast me, Andrew, cast me. In anything, in anything you want.

• 28:02Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, God. Cast away.

• 28:10Declan Donnelly?

  Oh, my God.

• 28:11Ant McPartlin?

  We've gone Canadian mad.

• 28:13Declan Donnelly?

  I want to see with Phantom.

• 28:17Declan Donnelly?

  It's weird, you fool.

• 28:19Ant McPartlin?

  Is that Ants? Because that's a very big mask over the forehead.

• 28:24Ant McPartlin?

  What's the Canadian word for mad?

• 28:26Speaker 07

  Chirping.

• 28:27Ant McPartlin?

  Chirping, chirping, chirping again. Chirping, chirping mad.

• 28:30Declan Donnelly?

  That's mad chirping, that is.

• 28:31Ant McPartlin?

  One more grumble. Got one more grumble.

• 28:34Declan Donnelly?

  Have another grumble.

• 28:35Ant McPartlin?

  Um, hello.

• 28:37Declan Donnelly?

  There, buddy.

• 28:39Ant McPartlin?

  Hello, there, buddy. Hello, and, and team.

• 28:42Declan Donnelly?

  Hey.

• 28:42Speaker 07

  Hey.

• 28:43Ant McPartlin?

  Thank you. Hey, I have a grumble that I think could be quite unpopular. People born in December. What? It's just, we've got a lot going on that month. Another birthday besides Jesus. It's a bit much. Sorry, uh, in brackets, not sorry, Livy. Well, Livy, I can't agree with you there. My sister Sarah, her, it's her birthday on December the 10th, and I feel like that's far enough away from Christmas to, to bother Jesus. And I think Jesus would just be happy for us all, wouldn't he?

• 29:20Declan Donnelly?

  He wants us to be happy.

• 29:21Ant McPartlin?

  That's Jesus's thing, isn't it? That, that we're all happy. That we're all just.

• 29:26Declan Donnelly?

  That's his modus operandi.

• 29:27Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, I don't, I don't think Jesus is that bothered.

• 29:31Declan Donnelly?

  About sharing his birthday, mon.

• 29:32Ant McPartlin?

  About sharing his birthday. He'd be more than happy to share his birthday. Share his bread, fishes.

• 29:36Declan Donnelly?

  I don't think that this grumble is about Jesus. I think this is about Livy, who can't be bothered because she's having Christmas parties.

• 29:42Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, because she's busy.

• 29:43Declan Donnelly?

  She's busy, she's having Christmas fun, festive fun, and she's now she's gonna have to go and celebrate some friends' birthdays. That's the problem.

• 29:51Ant McPartlin?

  I agree.

• 29:52Declan Donnelly?

  The problem isn't that people's birthdays in December. The problem is Livy can't be bothered with them.

• 29:56Ant McPartlin?

  The problem is Livy. The problem is you. So we're not having that. Are we having that? We're not having that.

• 30:02Declan Donnelly?

  No.

• 30:03Ant McPartlin?

  Sorry, Livy. Bad grumble. What do we say for bad grumble?

• 30:06Speaker 07

  Brumble.

• 30:07Ant McPartlin?

  Brumble.

• 30:08Declan Donnelly?

  Bad grumble. That's a brumble.

• 30:09Ant McPartlin?

  Brumble. We're working on that. We're working on it.

• 30:11Speaker 07

  What's your, um, favourite grumble then? Is it the first one?

• 30:15Declan Donnelly?

  Um, well, they're all birthdays. They all seem to be birthday themed this week, which is just quite the, quite the coincidence.

• 30:21Ant McPartlin?

  The Happy Birthday Song or celebrating minor birthdays? I, I, I have to go with Happy Birthday Song.

• 30:27Declan Donnelly?

  I would go with Happy Birthday Song.

• 30:28Ant McPartlin?

  Would you?

• 30:28Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah.

• 30:29Ant McPartlin?

  So when it's your birthday and we all sing it to you, what are you gonna do? Or should we just not sing it?

• 30:32Declan Donnelly?

  Just don't sing it.

• 30:33Ant McPartlin?

  Okay, cool. We're working on it.

• 30:34Declan Donnelly?

  No, but I do want a little blast of.

• 30:37Ant McPartlin?

  Happy birthday to, oh, you got me conscious about it now. Go on, that was a good first, that was a good, that was a good first audition, right? Never go back for the second audition.

• 30:46Declan Donnelly?

  Oh, he's filled the call back.

• 30:50Ant McPartlin?

  We've had more tricks of the trade.

• 30:52Declan Donnelly?

  Good. I love this.

• 30:53Ant McPartlin?

  New favourite item on the pod.

• 30:55Declan Donnelly?

  If you didn't hear this, we were asking for, um, things that, uh, you do at work that the consumer or the customer doesn't know about, and if there's any good kind of shortcuts that you can let us in on. We had a good one.

• 31:09Ant McPartlin?

  Trade secrets.

• 31:09Declan Donnelly?

  Trade secrets. We had a good one last week about, um, uh, putting baby powder smells and fresh bread through the air con to make people buy more stuff.

• 31:18Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah. Um, shall we see what this week's is?

• 31:21Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 31:21Ant McPartlin?

  Let's hope they've disguised their voice so, uh, they keep their anonymity. Here we go.

• 31:26Speaker 03

  I heard your feature Tricks of the Trade and I thought I've got to get involved. I'm a greenkeeper at a golf club and here's my little secret. If the golfers start getting on our nerves, for example, not raking bunkers or they're not repairing their pitch marks, the next time we change the pin position, we'll make them extra difficult on purpose.

• 31:48Ant McPartlin?

  No way.

• 31:49Speaker 03

  It's nothing personal, but it's just a little bit of greenkeeper revenge. So if you've ever wondered why that flag suddenly seems to be sitting on the hardest bit of the green imaginable, now you know. Respect, guys.

• 32:03Ant McPartlin?

  Respect to you, anonymous greenkeeper. I knew it.

• 32:08Declan Donnelly?

  The amount of times we've played golf and you get up to the green and go, that pin is ridiculous.

• 32:12Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah.

• 32:13Declan Donnelly?

  You can't put in that. It's the hardest pin on the.

• 32:16Ant McPartlin?

  And you joke, don't you? You go, who's annoyed the greenkeeper?

• 32:18Declan Donnelly?

  It's, it's true.

• 32:19Ant McPartlin?

  It's us. We've done it. Golfers.

• 32:22Declan Donnelly?

  I think that is a bit unfair though, because I've just turned up for my round. It's all the guys before me that have been raking bunkers in, and I'm paying the price for it.

• 32:31Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, it's not the same golfers playing the course, day after day after day.

• 32:33Declan Donnelly?

  No.

• 32:34Ant McPartlin?

  And he's like, it's nothing personal. Well, it is. He said, I'm getting our own bag for yous not raking the bunkers. That's very personal.

• 32:41Declan Donnelly?

  Quite personal.

• 32:41Ant McPartlin?

  It's really personal.

• 32:44Ant McPartlin?

  That's just angered us.

• 32:47Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah.

• 32:48Ant McPartlin?

  I had suspected it though.

• 32:50Declan Donnelly?

  I always say hello to the greenkeepers when I play golf. Not anymore.

• 32:54Ant McPartlin?

  Flick the bird.

• 32:54Declan Donnelly?

  Anymore.

• 32:56Ant McPartlin?

  That's a good trick of the trade. Very good.

• 32:59Declan Donnelly?

  If you've got any tricks of the trade, get them into us. We will change your voice and your name to protect the innocent. But let us know any tricks of the trade, any behind the scenes secrets hanging out at beltabox.com and we'll let the world know.

• 33:12Ant McPartlin?

  I really want fast food tricks of the trade.

• 33:15Declan Donnelly?

  Hmm.

• 33:15Ant McPartlin?

  Because I think we talked about this on the first one, when we took, when we brought this up. Well, there's a rumor, or is it a myth, that if you buy a small, medium or large drink at certain fast food joints, the medium and the large are the same size.

• 33:32Declan Donnelly?

  Just more ice.

• 33:33Ant McPartlin?

  There's just more ice and they pour it in. Once you pour it in, because it's taller, the medium is wider, but the tall is taller. But it's the same volume of liquid in both things.

• 33:45Declan Donnelly?

  But you got charged more for a large.

• 33:46Ant McPartlin?

  But you get charged more for a large. And, and medium fries and large fries, or you get the same, or small fries and large fries, you get the same amount of fries.

• 33:54Declan Donnelly?

  No. Get out of here.

• 33:56Ant McPartlin?

  Well, that's what I want, that's what I want to get to the bottom of.

• 33:58Declan Donnelly?

  Believe you.

• 33:59Ant McPartlin?

  No, I'm not telling you that's a fact. This is not my tricks of the trade. I am, but this is what people, that's the rumor that's been going around for years. So I'd like to get to the bottom of it. So if you do work in a fast food joint, get in touch.

• 34:11Declan Donnelly?

  Get in touch. Let us know.

• 34:12Ant McPartlin?

  All the tricks of the trade. So greenkeepers have moved the flag to get revenge on the golfers. Ever knew?

• 34:18Declan Donnelly?

  Never knew.

• 34:19Ant McPartlin?

  Ever knew. Always suspected.

• 34:24Ant McPartlin?

  Now, you know, we played Gauge the Age a couple of weeks ago.

• 34:27Declan Donnelly?

  I love that game.

• 34:28Ant McPartlin?

  I thought we could play it again because it's gone down very well. People are enjoying Gauge the Age. They're playing it themselves.

• 34:33Declan Donnelly?

  Yes.

• 34:33Ant McPartlin?

  Um, Slad, I've got some birthdays. I've got them written down.

• 34:38Declan Donnelly?

  Got some ages.

• 34:39Ant McPartlin?

  If I hoarse it, which I'm very happy to do, obviously, you versus Fiona?

• 34:43Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah, let's do it.

• 34:44Ant McPartlin?

  Fiona, you can confer with the rest of the team. Yeah. So we can have Fiona and Canadian lady if you, if you want to work together.

• 34:52Declan Donnelly?

  Canadian lady.

• 34:53Ant McPartlin?

  I, I don't know your name. Riley. Fiona, a good name. Fiona and Riley, do you want to work as a team?

• 34:59Speaker 07

  Yes, please.

• 35:00Ant McPartlin?

  Against Deck?

• 35:01Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 35:01Ant McPartlin?

  All right, I'll get them. Okay.

• 35:03Speaker 07

  Yeah, come sit here.

• 35:04Ant McPartlin?

  You've been checking out the press of late, have you?

• 35:07Declan Donnelly?

  No, I have not.

• 35:10Ant McPartlin?

  Right, I'm going to do, not today, um, because I thought you might have seen newspapers or anything online.

• 35:16Declan Donnelly?

  Right.

• 35:17Ant McPartlin?

  So I thought I'd do tomorrow, September the 25th. Is that a good day for you all?

• 35:22Declan Donnelly?

  That's well.

• 35:22Speaker 07

  That's bog standard days, isn't it?

• 35:24Ant McPartlin?

  That's a really, yeah, just a normal, normal day. Yeah, is that good?

• 35:28Declan Donnelly?

  Yep. So it is, it's also my birthday.

• 35:30Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah.

• 35:32Speaker 07

  Cool.

• 35:32Ant McPartlin?

  That's good. Uh.

• 35:34Declan Donnelly?

  Just in case you hadn't, I can't remember if I mentioned it or not.

• 35:37Ant McPartlin?

  Look at me.

• 35:40Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, my birthday is November, big rock. Right, Gauge the Age, September the 25th edition.

• 35:45Declan Donnelly?

  Yes.

• 35:46Ant McPartlin?

  Fiona and Riley, are you ready?

• 35:47Speaker 07

  Yes.

• 35:48Ant McPartlin?

  Deck, are you ready?

• 35:49Declan Donnelly?

  Yes. Is this my birthday edition or just?

• 35:51Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, well, September the 25th edition.

• 35:53Declan Donnelly?

  Right.

• 35:53Ant McPartlin?

  Um, so the rules are simple. I'm going to give you a celebrity. You're going to tell me what age you think they're turning tomorrow, September the 25th. I'm going to write down your score and whoever is the least out at the end of these eight celebrities will win. Understood?

• 36:10Declan Donnelly?

  Understood.

• 36:11Ant McPartlin?

  Okay, first up, the Fresh Prince, Will Smith.

• 36:15Declan Donnelly?

  Smith.

• 36:16Ant McPartlin?

  Is turning what age on the 25th of September?

• 36:22Speaker 07

  I think so. Okay. I, yeah, I, yeah, if anything, I think a little older.

• 36:28Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, Fiona and Riley.

• 36:30Speaker 07

  Fifty-nine.

• 36:31Ant McPartlin?

  Fifty-nine. Okay. What are you saying, Deck?

• 36:34Declan Donnelly?

  Fifty-seven.

• 36:36Ant McPartlin?

  Fifty-seven. So if one of you gets it spot on, you'll hear this noise, woo, woo, woo. But you won't be hearing that noise because neither of you got it spot on. He will be turning fifty-eight tomorrow. Both of you are one out.

• 36:53Declan Donnelly?

  Oh.

• 36:54Ant McPartlin?

  One out. There's no points.

• 36:56Declan Donnelly?

  Both get one point, but you want to, you want to get the smallest score.

• 36:59Ant McPartlin?

  It's like golf score. You want it to be as low as possible. Understood?

• 37:03Speaker 07

  Yep.

• 37:04Ant McPartlin?

  Next, also an actor, Bella Ramsey.

• 37:08Declan Donnelly?

  Ooh.

• 37:09Ant McPartlin?

  From The Last of Us. Uh, which you still haven't watched, have you?

• 37:12Declan Donnelly?

  No, I haven't.

• 37:13Ant McPartlin?

  Doesn't like zombies.

• 37:14Declan Donnelly?

  I don't like zombies.

• 37:15Ant McPartlin?

  Anything with zombies in?

• 37:16Declan Donnelly?

  No.

• 37:16Ant McPartlin?

  Just a little deck fact for you there.

• 37:17Declan Donnelly?

  Make me anxious.

• 37:18Ant McPartlin?

  When you're compiling deck facts at home in your scrapbooks. Doesn't like zombies.

• 37:23Declan Donnelly?

  Likes, dislikes.

• 37:27Ant McPartlin?

  Dislikes zombies.

• 37:28Declan Donnelly?

  Likes schnitzel, Canadian beer, dislikes zombies.

• 37:35Ant McPartlin?

  And beaver tails. Bella Ramsey is turning what? Next turn.

• 37:40Declan Donnelly?

  Twenty-three.

• 37:41Speaker 07

  Twenty.

• 37:43Ant McPartlin?

  Woo, woo, woo. That noise means one of you. You cheered Riley like you were spot on.

• 37:49Speaker 07

  I'm so excited.

• 37:50Ant McPartlin?

  It's a good game though, isn't it? Uh, you could host the Canadian version.

• 37:55Ant McPartlin?

  Uh, one of you is spot on. Bella Ramsey, tomorrow on the 25th of September, will be turning twenty-three.

• 38:05Declan Donnelly?

  Yes.

• 38:06Ant McPartlin?

  Declan was spot on. So it's four players, one. Good start for the birthday boy tomorrow. Also, another actor, we have played golf with this lady. Well, well, she played golf on our show.

• 38:22Declan Donnelly?

  Oh.

• 38:23Ant McPartlin?

  It is Catherine Zeta-Jones, Welsh actor. Um. How old is she? Married to Michael Douglas?

• 38:32Declan Donnelly?

  Yes. Uh, their turn to go first.

• 38:35Ant McPartlin?

  Your turn to go. The darling buds of May. Do you remember the darling buds of May?

• 38:38Declan Donnelly?

  I do remember that.

• 38:38Ant McPartlin?

  Did you used to like it?

• 38:39Declan Donnelly?

  No, not particularly. Not, not, it wasn't for me really.

• 38:41Ant McPartlin?

  It wasn't made for you. It wasn't made for you, but it was, it was well loved. Uh, I'm going to have to push you because we really don't have time for this. Sixty?

• 38:49Speaker 07

  Yes.

• 38:50Ant McPartlin?

  Declan, how old is Catherine Zeta-Jones tomorrow?

• 38:52Declan Donnelly?

  I think she is fifty-nine.

• 38:58Ant McPartlin?

  Neither of you are spot on. She will be turning fifty-seven tomorrow. So the scores are Fiona and Riley, seven, Deck, three. Next, American actor.

• 39:13Declan Donnelly?

  Lot of actors. I've got a lot of birthday twins that are actors.

• 39:15Ant McPartlin?

  You have?

• 39:16Declan Donnelly?

  I used to be an actor myself, you know. He can't see, man.

• 39:21Ant McPartlin?

  Um, the original Jedi, Mark Hamill.

• 39:24Declan Donnelly?

  I didn't know he was my birthday twin.

• 39:26Ant McPartlin?

  You see, you've got an advantage because you would have looked in the paper over the years to see these people.

• 39:30Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah, but I don't look at how old they are.

• 39:33Ant McPartlin?

  So you're going first, Deck. How old is Mark Hamill, Luke Skywalker tomorrow? Today?

• 39:41Declan Donnelly?

  He is.

• 39:44Ant McPartlin?

  Just to remind you, we are shooting a show here in, uh, Canada and we need to get a move on and go see the celebrities.

• 39:49Declan Donnelly?

  He is sixty-eight.

• 39:51Ant McPartlin?

  Sixty-eight.

• 39:53Speaker 07

  We said sixty-five.

• 39:55Ant McPartlin?

  Mark Hamill.

• 39:56Declan Donnelly?

  No woo, no woo, guys.

• 39:58Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, I mean, you're way off a woo.

• 40:00Declan Donnelly?

  Oh.

• 40:01Ant McPartlin?

  Mark Hamill tomorrow. Luke Skywalker, I can't believe it. He's seventy-five. Looks good, doesn't he? Seventy-five.

• 40:11Declan Donnelly?

  They're ten out.

• 40:12Ant McPartlin?

  They're ten out.

• 40:13Declan Donnelly?

  I'm seven out.

• 40:14Ant McPartlin?

  And seven out. So seven, so ten for Deck and seventeen for Fiona and Riley.

• 40:21Declan Donnelly?

  How many we got to go?

• 40:22Ant McPartlin?

  You've got four to go. You're halfway through. Well, halfway through the birthday celebration.

• 40:26Declan Donnelly?

  Oh my God.

• 40:27Ant McPartlin?

  What do you mean, oh my God?

• 40:29Declan Donnelly?

  I thought we'd nearly finished. I thought I'd nearly won.

• 40:32Ant McPartlin?

  If you guys don't take so long guessing, we're making a much better quiz for the listener. Rosalia, Spanish singer songwriter, known for her incredible world tour last year and a very good album, Rosalia's album. How old is Rosalia?

• 40:51Ant McPartlin?

  Shout, I would say she's one of the most exciting female singers around. Wouldn't you?

• 40:55Speaker 07

  Yeah. And I would say she's thirty-one.

• 41:02Ant McPartlin?

  Fiona, you was really sassy then.

• 41:05Speaker 07

  I made that up though, so don't just copy up.

• 41:07Ant McPartlin?

  Thirty-one?

• 41:08Declan Donnelly?

  Uh, twenty-eight.

• 41:15Ant McPartlin?

  Rosalia is thirty-four. You've closed some back there. So Deck, you're six out, they're three out. You've closed some back there, ladies. Well done. So at the moment, with only three to go, you're twenty out, Fiona and Riley, and Deck, you're sixteen out.

• 41:34Declan Donnelly?

  Four points between us.

• 41:35Ant McPartlin?

  Four points between you. Next, Donald Glover, also known as singer Childish Gambino. Will be turning.

• 41:49Declan Donnelly?

  Thirty-five.

• 41:53Ant McPartlin?

  Thirty-five.

• 41:55Speaker 07

  Thirty-nine.

• 41:57Ant McPartlin?

  There's no woos. Nobody's spot on. Donald's got a tricky one, hasn't he?

• 42:01Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah.

• 42:02Ant McPartlin?

  Like, how old is Childish Gambino?

• 42:04Declan Donnelly?

  Can't, can't put an age on him.

• 42:05Ant McPartlin?

  We're about to find out.

• 42:09Ant McPartlin?

  He's forty-three. He'll be forty-three on his birthday on the 25th of September. So that means it's a tie. I do have two more to go, but as it's a tie, this is exciting. So I'm just going to give you one more.

• 42:22Declan Donnelly?

  Okay. What are we both on now?

• 42:23Ant McPartlin?

  You're both on twenty-four.

• 42:25Declan Donnelly?

  So this is the last one. This is the decider.

• 42:28Ant McPartlin?

  This is the decider.

• 42:29Declan Donnelly?

  And it's them to go first.

• 42:31Ant McPartlin?

  And it's you to go first. And it's very apt. I did not know this, but Catherine Zeta-Jones's husband is.

• 42:40Declan Donnelly?

  Michael Douglas.

• 42:42Ant McPartlin?

  They share the same birthday.

• 42:43Declan Donnelly?

  It's also his birthday.

• 42:45Ant McPartlin?

  But how old is Michael Douglas today? Riley and Fiona?

• 42:52Speaker 07

  Sixty-seven.

• 42:54Ant McPartlin?

  Sixty-seven.

• 43:00Ant McPartlin?

  It was a quick answer. I think it's a wrong answer.

• 43:03Declan Donnelly?

  Seventy.

• 43:10Declan Donnelly?

  Five.

• 43:11Ant McPartlin?

  Seventy-five.

• 43:13Ant McPartlin?

  You're both way out. He is older than his wife. Do you not remember? He was older when they met.

• 43:18Declan Donnelly?

  Oh, yeah. Well, we know she's fifty-seven and sixty, sixty-seven and seventy-five is still older than Catherine Zeta-Jones. Just so you know.

• 43:26Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, but a lot older.

• 43:27Declan Donnelly?

  A lot older.

• 43:29Ant McPartlin?

  Michael Douglas will be turning on the twenty-fifth of September. Eighty-two years old. Which means Declan is the winner on this special September the twenty-fifth edition.

• 43:45Declan Donnelly?

  Happy birthday.

• 43:47Ant McPartlin?

  You're singing it to yourself.

• 43:50Ant McPartlin?

  See, it's easier when you sing it to yourself, isn't it? I told you. Oh, wow, eighty-two. Well done. That was, that's all we got, Tambo, on Gage the Edge. Thank you, Declan. Thank you, Fiona, and thank you, Canadian Riley.

• 44:02Declan Donnelly?

  Join us next time for another Gage the Edge. We'll see you. Good night.

• 44:09Ant McPartlin?

  That was good, wasn't it?

• 44:11Declan Donnelly?

  Enjoyed that. Love Gage the Edge.

• 44:13Ant McPartlin?

  Another letter here on the iPad, which I'm going to read out to you. Hi, Aunt Declan.

• 44:18Declan Donnelly?

  Hi, hey ho.

• 44:19Ant McPartlin?

  Hey, hey, hey ho, hey now. Hello there, buddy. I'm afraid I found him again. Oh, what? Went to Costco. What? Went to Costco and imagine my surprise when I spotted Aunt blogging school cakes again. I know times are tough, but Christ, Aunt. Window cleaner, delivery driver, baker, plumber. I said, no, they're good. They've got it all down.

• 44:42Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah.

• 44:42Ant McPartlin?

  And apparently now, Mr. Whimby shifting trays of school cake in bulk. I've attached photographic evidence. Lots of love, Leanne. Deck, I'm still looking for your doppelganger. My mission goes on. Respect, guys.

• 44:55Declan Donnelly?

  Let's have a look.

• 44:56Ant McPartlin?

  Look at, there he is. There he is, look at that.

• 44:59Declan Donnelly?

  Sixteen school cakes.

• 45:00Speaker 07

  Oh my gosh.

• 45:01Ant McPartlin?

  Mr. Whimby. That, that's the one that looks most like me, I reckon.

• 45:05Speaker 07

  Yeah, that's so similar.

• 45:07Ant McPartlin?

  That was me when I was young. That was me in my twenties. It's so similar, isn't it?

• 45:11Declan Donnelly?

  I'll tell you what as well, that looks like a lovely cake.

• 45:13Ant McPartlin?

  You'd like that cake, wouldn't you?

• 45:14Declan Donnelly?

  Oh, that school, do you remember that school cake, which was sponge with a bit of strawberry on the top, one hundreds and thousands?

• 45:19Ant McPartlin?

  I used to like that, I told you.

• 45:20Declan Donnelly?

  That and a bit of custard. Oh, yes.

• 45:22Ant McPartlin?

  That'd be nice for your birthday, wouldn't it?

• 45:24Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah.

• 45:24Ant McPartlin?

  I'd shame if we weren't back home.

• 45:26Declan Donnelly?

  I'd be thrilled with that. Stick a candle in that and give it to me.

• 45:28Ant McPartlin?

  Stick a candle in that.

• 45:31Ant McPartlin?

  Speaking of cakes, I've got more correspondence.

• 45:33Declan Donnelly?

  Oh, good.

• 45:34Ant McPartlin?

  Have a listen to this. Hi, guys. I've been catching up on the podcast and each week reminds me of another nineties memory.

• 45:40Declan Donnelly?

  Nice.

• 45:41Ant McPartlin?

  I recently listened to the episode where someone said they had your faces on their birthday cake. Remember?

• 45:47Declan Donnelly?

  Oh, yeah, yeah.

• 45:47Ant McPartlin?

  That was really early on.

• 45:48Declan Donnelly?

  It was, and that was a very young birthday cake, if I remember.

• 45:50Ant McPartlin?

  Well, so did I. Here is a pic of my fifteenth birthday cake from nineteen ninety-seven.

• 45:56Declan Donnelly?

  What?

• 45:57Ant McPartlin?

  Hope you enjoy and I'm loving the podcast. It keeps me company in the gym. Love, Steph. Hi, Steph. There you go, look. Look at that.

• 46:05Declan Donnelly?

  That is brilliant. Oh, gosh, look at that.

• 46:07Ant McPartlin?

  Wow, oh, wow. Look at the Aunt and Dex there. The cult of Aunt and Dex. That's taken from our third album, third less, least.

• 46:14Declan Donnelly?

  List selling.

• 46:15Ant McPartlin?

  Least successful album, the cult of Aunt and Dex. Happy birthday. Happy birthday, Steph.

• 46:20Declan Donnelly?

  Look at that.

• 46:21Ant McPartlin?

  Wow.

• 46:23Speaker 07

  Lovely.

• 46:24Ant McPartlin?

  Could you eat, could you eat your own face?

• 46:26Declan Donnelly?

  Yes, I have no problem with that.

• 46:27Ant McPartlin?

  You've got no problem with eating your own face?

• 46:28Declan Donnelly?

  No problem with that.

• 46:29Ant McPartlin?

  Eat my face. Could you eat my face?

• 46:32Declan Donnelly?

  Yes, gladly. I think it's a good one of you.

• 46:36Ant McPartlin?

  What? The size of me eyes?

• 46:39Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah.

• 46:39Ant McPartlin?

  Why isn't that so good of you?

• 46:40Declan Donnelly?

  Well, I look like I could be a panellist on Loose Women.

• 46:43Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, you do look very girly.

• 46:45Declan Donnelly?

  I don't know which one of Loose Women, but just one of them.

• 46:49Ant McPartlin?

  Hello.

• 46:49Declan Donnelly?

  Hello.

• 46:50Ant McPartlin?

  Says our ex-correspondent. Big fan of the pod and you both for years. In fact, so much that when my mum, who would diligently make me decorate birthday cakes for me and my three siblings, asked what I wanted for my tenth birthday cake, I asked for you two.

• 47:05Declan Donnelly?

  Oh.

• 47:06Ant McPartlin?

  As I was an avid fan, I'm starting to take away. I don't think either of you look very relaxed here. Mum still says this was the most challenging and hilarious one she did in twenty years birthday cake making. Loving the new pods. Respect, guys. Ellie from Skipton, North Yorkshire.

• 47:21Declan Donnelly?

  Oh, hi Ellie. Thank you for that.

• 47:22Ant McPartlin?

  Well, I can't wait to see this one. Whoa. Whoa.

• 47:27Declan Donnelly?

  Oh, Ellie's mum. Ellie's mum.

• 47:30Ant McPartlin?

  Ellie's mum. No wonder it was challenging. What is that?

• 47:40Ant McPartlin?

  What the hell is that?

• 47:41Declan Donnelly?

  If you're just listening, I don't know how to describe that.

• 47:46Ant McPartlin?

  Was your mum really a cake decorator?

• 47:48Declan Donnelly?

  No.

• 47:49Ant McPartlin?

  That's not. I've seen better skills. I, I have to say, maybe, maybe it's us. I, I, we're partly to blame for this. But our faces are clearly very hard to do. Would you eat my face there?

• 48:01Declan Donnelly?

  Uh, yeah, I would.

• 48:02Ant McPartlin?

  You still would?

• 48:02Declan Donnelly?

  I still would, yeah.

• 48:03Ant McPartlin?

  You still would?

• 48:03Declan Donnelly?

  I still would. It's creepy is what it is.

• 48:07Ant McPartlin?

  I don't really like birthday cakes. I like a fruitcake, you know that.

• 48:09Declan Donnelly?

  I know that, I know that.

• 48:10Ant McPartlin?

  You know I like a fruitcake. Hi, boys. Remember a few months ago, a listener said they had a birthday cake with your faces on?

• 48:16Declan Donnelly?

  Mm-hmm.

• 48:17Ant McPartlin?

  And you couldn't get your head around it?

• 48:18Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah.

• 48:18Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, yeah, we, yeah, yeah, this is what we're talking about. Uh, well, as it's Deck's birthday this week.

• 48:23Declan Donnelly?

  Thank you for remembering.

• 48:24Ant McPartlin?

  That's nice. We thought in order for you to fully understand the appeal of an Aunt and Deck birthday cake, it's only right you tried one for yourselves. Happy birthday, Deck. Love, the hecklers.

• 48:34Speaker 07

  Oh, happy.

• 48:37Ant McPartlin?

  Happy birthday. Everybody sing at him.

• 48:41Ant McPartlin?

  Happy birthday to you.

• 48:45Declan Donnelly?

  Pick up the pace a little bit.

• 48:46Ant McPartlin?

  Happy birthday to Declan. Happy birthday to you.

• 48:51Speaker 07

  You did remember.

• 48:53Ant McPartlin?

  Well, of course we did.

• 48:54Declan Donnelly?

  Oh, look at that.

• 48:56Speaker 07

  It's very green, isn't it?

• 48:57Declan Donnelly?

  Okay, yeah, it's very green. Look at that. Can you see that?

• 49:01Ant McPartlin?

  That's nice, isn't it? That's a nice birthday cake. Hold on, let me take a photo. I'll take a photo for you because they'll never, they never share their photos.

• 49:09Declan Donnelly?

  I've got it in my nose.

• 49:12Ant McPartlin?

  That's nice.

• 49:13Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah.

• 49:14Ant McPartlin?

  Right, cut it open. What are them things on the side of it?

• 49:19Ant McPartlin?

  Chocolate.

• 49:19Declan Donnelly?

  Just chocolate little scrolls.

• 49:21Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, lovely. What flavour is it, hecklers?

• 49:24Speaker 07

  It's chocolate.

• 49:25Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah, my favourite.

• 49:27Ant McPartlin?

  Look how happy he is. Look at how happy you've made him on his birthday. We didn't forget your birthday, you silly sausage.

• 49:34Declan Donnelly?

  You silly goose.

• 49:36Ant McPartlin?

  You silly goose.

• 49:37Declan Donnelly?

  Thank you.

• 49:38Ant McPartlin?

  Happy birthday.

• 49:38Declan Donnelly?

  Thank you very much. So to finish off this week, should we do some, um, questions from the?

• 49:44Ant McPartlin?

  Get slicing then.

• 49:45Declan Donnelly?

  I was going to say, should we do some questions from the broadcast channel?

• 49:47Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah.

• 49:48Declan Donnelly?

  Uh, while I cut the cake.

• 49:49Ant McPartlin?

  Yes.

• 49:49Declan Donnelly?

  If you do the questions, I'll cut the cake.

• 49:51Ant McPartlin?

  Good, good idea.

• 49:52Declan Donnelly?

  Remember, if you want to get involved in this part of the show, then join our broadcast channel on Instagram and get involved. I'll cut the cake.

• 50:00Ant McPartlin?

  Okay, first question. What? Um, from Melix Not You says, would you ever go ghost hunting?

• 50:11Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah, I think I would.

• 50:12Ant McPartlin?

  Would you?

• 50:13Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah.

• 50:13Ant McPartlin?

  You'd go with me, ma'am.

• 50:15Declan Donnelly?

  She likes all that, doesn't she?

• 50:15Ant McPartlin?

  My ma'am likes going on ghost hunts. She does quite a lot of them round the North East. She does.

• 50:21Declan Donnelly?

  Does she go on them?

• 50:22Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah.

• 50:23Declan Donnelly?

  I didn't realise she goes on them.

• 50:24Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, and I had to buy her this thing where you point it at the dark room. It's like a camera and then if there's a ghost or a spirit in the room, it pops up on the screen in like a little stick man figure. She's constantly.

• 50:37Declan Donnelly?

  Sounds legit.

• 50:39Ant McPartlin?

  I let you tell her, you witnessed this.

• 50:43Ant McPartlin?

  But yeah, she goes, so I'm, I'm a bit like, oh, I don't know. I'm, I'm, would I go on one? Yeah, I would. We should do it and film it. That would be good. We should do.

• 50:52Declan Donnelly?

  I think that's been done.

• 50:53Ant McPartlin?

  No, but we should do it. I was like, yeah, it doesn't matter though. We could just go to a really, what's meant to be haunted place. And we can call it Hanging Out with Aunt Deck and the Ghosts.

• 51:02Declan Donnelly?

  Hanging out, hanging.

• 51:03Ant McPartlin?

  Hanging out with the ghoulies.

• 51:04Declan Donnelly?

  Hanging out with the ghoulies.

• 51:07Declan Donnelly?

  The ghoulies are hanging out.

• 51:09Ant McPartlin?

  Can you do that?

• 51:10Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah.

• 51:10Ant McPartlin?

  We could do a little hanging out spin-offs on YouTube.

• 51:13Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah, we could.

• 51:13Ant McPartlin?

  Where we just film ourselves like doing overnight stuff like that. Great. So I keep going.

• 51:18Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah, keep going.

• 51:18Ant McPartlin?

  How, what, how small are these slices?

• 51:21Declan Donnelly?

  Well, there's lots of.

• 51:21Ant McPartlin?

  Who are you giving kids? Who, mice?

• 51:24Declan Donnelly?

  Well, you can have two bits.

• 51:27Declan Donnelly?

  I don't know how I've done this.

• 51:28Ant McPartlin?

  I don't know how you've done it. I know they've got a lot of icing. Melana Genshi says, what's the best piece of advice you've ever received?

• 51:37Declan Donnelly?

  I've had two.

• 51:39Ant McPartlin?

  Two slices of cake?

• 51:40Declan Donnelly?

  No, two bits of advice.

• 51:41Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, okay, go on.

• 51:43Declan Donnelly?

  Um, consistently good work done over a long period of time will never go unnoticed.

• 51:47Ant McPartlin?

  Yes.

• 51:49Declan Donnelly?

  And the second one.

• 51:49Ant McPartlin?

  Well, go on, and who did you get it from?

• 51:51Declan Donnelly?

  That was from our executive producer on Saturday mornings, a guy called Connor McAnally.

• 51:55Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah.

• 51:56Declan Donnelly?

  And, uh, he said that to us and he says, you've just got to get your head down, got to work hard every week. Consistently good work done over a long period of time does not go unnoticed. That's when nobody was watching the show.

• 52:05Ant McPartlin?

  It's true.

• 52:06Declan Donnelly?

  We had zero, well, not zero ratings, but the ratings were really low. And he's like, no, we've just got to carry on, keep doing our best. And look what happened.

• 52:13Ant McPartlin?

  It's true. It's a very good bit of advice.

• 52:15Declan Donnelly?

  The other one I saw on the internet. And it was, if you're going to fail, fail big and fail doing it on your terms.

• 52:24Ant McPartlin?

  It's good.

• 52:25Declan Donnelly?

  So be happy with, if you're happy with a, a thing or a project that you're doing and you've done it to the best of your ability and the best of your conviction and it still fails, at least you did it doing something you believe in. And also aim big and go for it. And if it doesn't work, at least you failed big.

• 52:41Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah.

• 52:42Declan Donnelly?

  I think I deserve some cream for that.

• 52:44Ant McPartlin?

  I am, there's a really good bit of advice I heard where it's all, it's about control. If you're not in control of something, don't worry about it.

• 52:51Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah.

• 52:51Ant McPartlin?

  So if you've got a problem in your life, but just ask yourself this. Can I control the outcome? If you can, don't worry about it because you can control it. So you can do something about it. So you don't have to worry about it. You just have to take action. If you can't control it, don't worry about it because you can't control it.

• 53:11Declan Donnelly?

  Control it.

• 53:13Ant McPartlin?

  So I suppose the big overarching thing is worry, worrying about anything is pointless. You're like, you either take action or you don't take action. What the worrying part just fills you with anxiety. It makes you, it ruins your day and doesn't let you be at warm with everything that's good in your life. So worrying, it's pointless.

• 53:39Declan Donnelly?

  As Bobby McFerran would say, don't worry, be happy.

• 53:42Ant McPartlin?

  That's a good bit of advice.

• 53:44Declan Donnelly?

  It is a very good bit of advice.

• 53:46Ant McPartlin?

  That looks good, this cake.

• 53:47Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah, have I done a good job?

• 53:49Ant McPartlin?

  You have done a good job. Um, shall I keep going while you're putting these out on the table? Stuart, oh, oh, seven, oh, five says, is there something you can't have in dressing rooms? Like smells or lights or whatever? That's a good question, Stuart.

• 54:03Declan Donnelly?

  It is a very good question, Stuart. I can't bear, uh, overwhelming fragrances, especially diffusers with big reeds coming out of them. And you know, they, sometimes they're too big for the room and you go and you go, oh my God. I put them outside in the corridor. I can't bear it. I'm, I'm not great with overpowering smells, even like with people's perfume.

• 54:22Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah.

• 54:22Declan Donnelly?

  And aftershave, if it's too strong, really turns me off.

• 54:29Ant McPartlin?

  Turns you off from what? Like getting off with them?

• 54:33Declan Donnelly?

  That's, that was just, that was just to have walking around turned on.

• 54:37Ant McPartlin?

  It would.

• 54:39Declan Donnelly?

  It really makes me funny.

• 54:41Ant McPartlin?

  I hate, do you know what I don't like? What I can't have? And I always switch it off. The big light.

• 54:45Declan Donnelly?

  Oh, yeah.

• 54:46Ant McPartlin?

  I'm a big believer in lighting, in houses, um, in hotels, in dressing rooms. So.

• 54:53Declan Donnelly?

  Should be subtle.

• 54:54Ant McPartlin?

  It should always be subtle because I think, I think it affects your mood. And I also think like during the, in the daytime, when the sun shined brightly.

• 55:03Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah.

• 55:04Ant McPartlin?

  Being out in that midday sun is too much. I always prefer sunrise, sunset, or that kind of dusky, when the shadows on the ground, when, when you can see light coming through trees. It's all about light for me. So if the big light's on, switch it off, get a lamp on. Right. Are we going to eat this cake or are you just going to keep cutting it for like to the end of time? Jeez, I hope it's all one plate.

• 55:28Declan Donnelly?

  Then I've got a plate for you.

• 55:32Ant McPartlin?

  What are you going to do? Hand that round?

• 55:33Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah.

• 55:33Ant McPartlin?

  Well, are we going to eat something? Or what?

• 55:34Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah.

• 55:35Ant McPartlin?

  Well, come on then.

• 55:36Declan Donnelly?

  Come on then, a last question.

• 55:37Ant McPartlin?

  Right, oh well.

• 55:38Declan Donnelly?

  Make it a good one. Give it your best shot.

• 55:41Ant McPartlin?

  Well, give us a, give us one of these. I'll have, what's that? Your mouth?

• 55:44Declan Donnelly?

  Ah, it's like I'm kissing him?

• 55:47Ant McPartlin?

  BB, nineteen seventy nine says, worst meal you've ever had at a friend's house, family's house, or celebrity's house? That's very critical, isn't it?

• 55:56Declan Donnelly?

  Oh, yeah.

• 55:58Ant McPartlin?

  Your worst meal.

• 56:00Declan Donnelly?

  I can't think of it. I don't think.

• 56:01Ant McPartlin?

  You're going to eat cake while you do it. This is like, it's like Hot Ones but with cake.

• 56:07Ant McPartlin?

  Where the cake gets increasingly more sticky over. It's like, that's good cake. Well, did you make this, Riley? Didn't you? Hmm, shame.

• 56:16Declan Donnelly?

  Hmm. What time does this shop open?

• 56:18Speaker 07

  This, that opens at eight AM.

• 56:20Ant McPartlin?

  That's proper frosting on there, like. Nice, isn't it?

• 56:22Speaker 07

  Yeah.

• 56:23Ant McPartlin?

  Have you had some yet?

• 56:23Speaker 07

  No.

• 56:24Ant McPartlin?

  Has he not passed it around? He's got to pass the plate on.

• 56:26Declan Donnelly?

  All right. Hey, then take one, pass it on.

• 56:28Ant McPartlin?

  Worst, worst meal I've ever had at a friend's.

• 56:31Declan Donnelly?

  I don't think of a, a bad meal at a celebrity's house. We always have good meals at Simon Cowell's house because he's got a brilliant chef.

• 56:37Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, Jeff the chef.

• 56:39Declan Donnelly?

  Good sausages around there.

• 56:40Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, good sausage rolls.

• 56:45Ant McPartlin?

  Bit of a weird question because I don't really go around thinking uber critical things about people that they're cooking.

• 56:52Speaker 07

  Well, you can say that's your answer. You've never, you've never had one.

• 56:55Ant McPartlin?

  Well, I probably have had one, but that's not what sticks in my mind. You know, I don't go, oh God, that was a terrible meal. Can you believe it? We're never going to go back there again, Declan. I'm never going around to Fiona and Riley's again. It's just so awful. All they served us was cold beaver tails.

• 57:14Declan Donnelly?

  Was your beaver tail cold? Mine too.

• 57:16Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, yeah. I'm going to say the beaver tail from today. And I don't think it was a very good introduction to Canadian snacks.

• 57:22Declan Donnelly?

  It's true. Riley's nodding her head.

• 57:23Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah. Riley, me and you, let's get ourselves to Beaver Town. It's not a, it's always come.

• 57:30Ant McPartlin?

  Ah, right.

• 57:31Declan Donnelly?

  That's all we've got time for.

• 57:31Ant McPartlin?

  That's all we've got time for on this special birthday edition.

• 57:34Declan Donnelly?

  Hey.

• 57:35Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, which it is. It is Tex's birthday. So happy be, happy birthday.

• 57:39Declan Donnelly?

  Thank you.

• 57:39Ant McPartlin?

  That'll do, you want it? That's all you want?

• 57:41Declan Donnelly?

  That's all I want.

• 57:42Ant McPartlin?

  That's all you want. It's not really a big believer in birthdays.

• 57:44Declan Donnelly?

  No, I don't care.

• 57:45Ant McPartlin?

  Apart from Jesus.

• 57:47Declan Donnelly?

  I want to go home and have cuddles with my children. That's what I want to do.

• 57:50Ant McPartlin?

  No.

• 57:51Declan Donnelly?

  Um, that's all we've got time for. We'll be back on Monday with a special bonus episode.

• 57:56Ant McPartlin?

  Bonus.

• 57:57Declan Donnelly?

  Which will be all of your letters, all of your email. And then we'll be back next Thursday for another main pod. Remember to like and subscribe and follow the podcast wherever you get the podcasts. And we will see you next week when I will be another year older.

• 58:15Ant McPartlin?

  And no wiser. No wiser.

• 58:17Declan Donnelly?

  And another year sexier.

• 58:24Ant McPartlin?

  Click that up and put it out on social. It's just a really ramen home.

• 58:28Declan Donnelly?

  We'll see you next week.

• 58:29Ant McPartlin?

  Cringe. Bye.

• 58:38Speaker 04

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• 59:09Ant McPartlin?

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