Ant & Dec on Conspiracy Theories: The Opinions You Didn't Know You Needed (or Wanted)

It's a Monday bonus episode and the introduction of the Discussion Jar! What's inside? Well, things to discuss of course, and this week they're all conspiracy theories. Ant finally talks about the Hollow Moon Theory, and Dec tells us what he reckons happens when you die. They also discuss whether birds are real, and the mystery of Mel's Hole! If you have a topic you'd like the boys to discuss, send it in to [email protected] and we'll be back on Thursday with another hang! ----- 00:00 - Catch up02:10 - Dec’s become a morning man04:00 - Ant’s new hyper fixation: Mel’s hole07:50 - Discussion Jar10:00 - The pigeons are spying on us?!15:00 - A man frozen in time18:30 - “The Beatles were rage baiting”23:35 - Hollow moon theory Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Speaker 00

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• 0:37Declan Donnelly?

  Hello everybody. Good morning, good evening.

• 0:40Ant McPartlin?

  Hi everyone.

• 0:41Declan Donnelly?

  Welcome back to the hangout for another Monday episode. Intrigued as to what this is?

• 0:46Ant McPartlin?

  I'll come to that in a minute.

• 0:48Declan Donnelly?

  Okey dokey, how are you?

• 0:49Ant McPartlin?

  Uh, yeah, I'm good, thanks. I was going to give you a little bit.

• 0:53Declan Donnelly?

  Go on then.

• 0:54Ant McPartlin?

  That is the discussion jar. We'll talk about this later.

• 0:58Declan Donnelly?

  We'll discuss it in a little while.

• 1:00Ant McPartlin?

  How are you?

• 1:01Declan Donnelly?

  I'm good, thanks. What have you been up to?

• 1:03Ant McPartlin?

  I had a weekend, nice and quiet. Yours?

• 1:05Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah, very quiet.

• 1:06Ant McPartlin?

  Good.

• 1:07Declan Donnelly?

  It was nice, it was good, because I had such a raucous one last weekend.

• 1:09Ant McPartlin?

  Yes, you did, yes.

• 1:10Declan Donnelly?

  I was away with some friends playing golf.

• 1:11Ant McPartlin?

  Yes, we know, we know, and I had a very girly weekend.

• 1:13Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah, so.

• 1:14Ant McPartlin?

  You had a very bossy weekend.

• 1:15Declan Donnelly?

  I had a quiet one this, this week.

• 1:17Ant McPartlin?

  I'm in agony.

• 1:19Declan Donnelly?

  What?

• 1:20Ant McPartlin?

  I am a bit in agony.

• 1:21Declan Donnelly?

  What have you done?

• 1:22Ant McPartlin?

  Pilates.

• 1:23Declan Donnelly?

  Oh.

• 1:24Ant McPartlin?

  That was part of my girls' weekend last weekend.

• 1:26Declan Donnelly?

  There was a bit of pilates.

• 1:27Ant McPartlin?

  Uh, but then I followed it up with a second session, so now I'm in agony. Proper agony.

• 1:32Declan Donnelly?

  You've been working muscles you didn't know you had.

• 1:33Ant McPartlin?

  Oh god, my core. Lot of core, there's a lot of core.

• 1:38Declan Donnelly?

  That's there. And hard for you, because you've got a lot of core.

• 1:41Ant McPartlin?

  What do you mean?

• 1:42Declan Donnelly?

  You're quite top-heavy.

• 1:43Ant McPartlin?

  I'm not top-heavy!

• 1:44Declan Donnelly?

  We've established that.

• 1:45Ant McPartlin?

  This is not, we haven't. This is not, I am not top-heavy. I'm not Gru.

• 1:49Declan Donnelly?

  That top is quite heavy.

• 1:50Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, it is quite heavy.

• 1:51Declan Donnelly?

  Quite thick.

• 1:52Ant McPartlin?

  Well, it's getting warmer, so I'm getting all the thick clothes out the way, because it's quite, it's very hot in this abbey, isn't it? It's really warm. So let's get all of the-

• 1:59Declan Donnelly?

  Spring has sprung!

• 2:00Ant McPartlin?

  Let's get all of the thick stuff out the way now, and then we can move into t-shirts and shorts as we move forward. Would you ever get your legs out on camera? Because you never, you never have in the back.

• 2:07Declan Donnelly?

  I have!

• 2:08Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, yeah, you haven't though, have you?

• 2:10Declan Donnelly?

  I have!

• 2:11Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah?

• 2:12Declan Donnelly?

  Loads!

• 2:13Ant McPartlin?

  I tell you what, when you grow the beard, can you come in with a beard and shorts? That's just a fetish of mine.

• 2:18Declan Donnelly?

  This is just a fetish, this? You pervert.

• 2:21Ant McPartlin?

  I just want to dress you up!

• 2:24Declan Donnelly?

  I tell you what I'm loving at the minute.

• 2:27Ant McPartlin?

  What was that? Is that your belly?

• 2:28Declan Donnelly?

  Did you hear that?

• 2:29Ant McPartlin?

  What was that, a burp?

• 2:29Declan Donnelly?

  There was a frog in my throat.

• 2:31Ant McPartlin?

  Did you hear it?

• 2:32Declan Donnelly?

  Did you hear that?

• 2:33Ant McPartlin?

  Let's play it again, slow.

• 2:35Declan Donnelly?

  It was a little.

• 2:36Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, it was.

• 2:37Declan Donnelly?

  Something made noise in there. Can you see anything?

• 2:40Ant McPartlin?

  Tonsil.

• 2:41Declan Donnelly?

  I'll tell you what I'm loving at the moment. How lovely and light it is in the mornings.

• 2:47Ant McPartlin?

  Do you what do you do in the mornings?

• 2:49Declan Donnelly?

  I get up out of bed.

• 2:50Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah.

• 2:50Declan Donnelly?

  Brush the teeth. No, do you know what's nice? Going down at it, Rocky out, seven o'clock in the morning. And up until like two weeks ago, I had to go out with a torch.

• 3:00Ant McPartlin?

  Did you?

• 3:00Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah, because he's only a miniature sausage.

• 3:03Ant McPartlin?

  Yes.

• 3:03Declan Donnelly?

  I've only got a little sausage, as you know.

• 3:04Ant McPartlin?

  Yes, we do.

• 3:05Declan Donnelly?

  And to take him out in the garden, he's had a few dust ups with a few local foxes.

• 3:09Ant McPartlin?

  He has, hasn't he?

• 3:10Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah.

• 3:11Ant McPartlin?

  He's been attacked by foxes.

• 3:12Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah, he's had a bit of a, bit of a to do, a bit of a ding dong with a few foxes. Why, why do you find that amusing, Fiona?

• 3:18Speaker 03

  Just because you, you're a fox on Thursday.

• 3:21Declan Donnelly?

  Oh, that's right.

• 3:21Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, yeah, he was a fox on Thursday. Yeah, don't wear that when you get home. You didn't wear that fox in front of Rocky, did you?

• 3:28Declan Donnelly?

  I didn't take it home, no.

• 3:29Ant McPartlin?

  Poor Rocky.

• 3:30Declan Donnelly?

  So when I take him out in the mornings, I would take him out with a torch, just scan for foxes. Don't have to do that now.

• 3:35Ant McPartlin?

  Lovely, isn't it?

• 3:35Declan Donnelly?

  Lovely and light first thing in the morning.

• 3:37Ant McPartlin?

  Are you a morning person?

• 3:39Declan Donnelly?

  Not particularly. Didn't used to be.

• 3:41Ant McPartlin?

  No, I didn't used to be.

• 3:42Declan Donnelly?

  Now we've got kids.

• 3:43Ant McPartlin?

  You've got to be.

• 3:43Declan Donnelly?

  No choice.

• 3:44Ant McPartlin?

  Kids and dogs, you've got to be up.

• 3:45Declan Donnelly?

  No choice.

• 3:46Ant McPartlin?

  I love it. I love being up now.

• 3:47Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah, I do now. I do. I didn't used to, but yeah, no, I like getting up early, getting things done.

• 3:52Ant McPartlin?

  What? Why are you laughing? Why is that funny?

• 3:55Speaker 03

  Just because you, you got up late in the diary.

• 3:59Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, you're right. You're right. That's right. You didn't used to get up, used to get up at one o'clock. I'm so tired. I would have been at one o'clock in Dex's 90s diary, but not now.

• 4:08Declan Donnelly?

  I don't think you were up at six going for a jog, by the way.

• 4:12Ant McPartlin?

  Very good point. Very good point.

• 4:14Declan Donnelly?

  I think we were both quite late risers.

• 4:16Ant McPartlin?

  Hey, guess what I've got into now?

• 4:18Declan Donnelly?

  What?

• 4:19Ant McPartlin?

  Substack. For someone who goes down rabbit holes a lot.

• 4:23Declan Donnelly?

  Yes, you do.

• 4:24Ant McPartlin?

  For someone who gets quite hyper fixated, Substack is like the app for me.

• 4:29Declan Donnelly?

  What have you been reading about?

• 4:31Ant McPartlin?

  I've been reading about Mel's Hall.

• 4:34Declan Donnelly?

  Do you know about Mel's Hall?

• 4:37Ant McPartlin?

  So there's a thing, right? Cause I heard what he said, I heard what he said, but we'll probably have to edit that out. If not edit it out, bleep it. So I'm not even gonna give it the credibility it deserves, cause it deserves none.

• 4:53Declan Donnelly?

  Who's Hall?

• 4:54Ant McPartlin?

  Mel's Hall. Was it a guy called?

• 4:59Ant McPartlin?

  We've had to bleep that out again.

• 5:02Declan Donnelly?

  Go on, tell us about Mel.

• 5:04Ant McPartlin?

  In the nineties, a guy called Mel in America, just outside of Washington, rang a radio DJ. And said, there's a hole on my property. Big old hole. And.

• 5:18Ant McPartlin?

  Well, he might have said like, it's a big old hole on my property. Just imagine it all with an American accent. So he rang this radio DJ and said, there's a big hole on my property. Don't know what it's for.

• 5:29Declan Donnelly?

  Did he not think of ringing the police or somebody first? He rang the radio.

• 5:32Ant McPartlin?

  No, because the radio, it was like one of those phone in shows that people were ringing and say, anything strange happening in your life? And this guy's like, yeah, there is something strange. There's a big hole on my property. Says, and I don't know how deep it is. And my dog acts really weird around it. So an animal, birds won't fly over, birds fly around the hole. It's like, and the guy's like, really? So every night for the course of a few months, he would phone back into this radio station. And radio DJ would ask him more questions and he'd say, why don't you like find out how deep it is? So you've got like a fishing wire and put it down, got a fishing wire, put something on the end, wound the fishing wire to its full length, which is like 7,000 feet. And it was still going. So there's no, so the hole was that deep.

• 6:15Ant McPartlin?

  Like, and Mel was like, where does this hole go to? What's its origin? Nobody else could answer. So he was hoping that other callers would say, oh, I know what the hole is. The hole is an ex-mining hole or et cetera, et cetera. No one else really knew anything.

• 6:28Declan Donnelly?

  And how big is it? Like diameter?

• 6:31Ant McPartlin?

  Uh, probably about this room.

• 6:32Declan Donnelly?

  No.

• 6:33Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah. And locals, Mel found out, other locals would throw their rubbish down there.

• 6:38Declan Donnelly?

  It's a big hole.

• 6:39Ant McPartlin?

  Great place to just get rid of stuff. Rumour has it that one of his neighbours' dog died. So he threw the dog down the hole, which I think is very insensitive, I have to say. But that dog was then seen in the woods weeks later.

• 6:57Declan Donnelly?

  With a fishing wire?

• 6:58Ant McPartlin?

  No, no, no, no, with a fishing wire, just running around alive again.

• 7:04Ant McPartlin?

  Apparently. So then Mel continued these phone calls with the radio station, who obviously loved it, loved him ringing in, uh, would ask him to do. Oh, that was another thing. Mel put down a bucket of ice on a fish wire into the hole. And he said, when he wound it back up, the ice had burst into flames.

• 7:26Ant McPartlin?

  Well, you didn't, you asked what I'm reading about. So I was reading about that. So the ice had burst into flames. So the ice was now flammable. And then Mel went on holiday, came back, the government closed it down. I said, there was a airplane, uh, crash on his site and he wasn't allowed in. So what was in the hole?

• 7:44Declan Donnelly?

  That seems fishy.

• 7:46Ant McPartlin?

  Fishing wiry.

• 7:47Declan Donnelly?

  Yes.

• 7:48Ant McPartlin?

  So anyway, I'm not at the end, neither's Mel, of the hole, or the story, or the Substack. So I will report back when I hear more.

• 7:55Declan Donnelly?

  When did the story take place?

• 7:56Ant McPartlin?

  The story took place, uh, in 1997.

• 7:59Declan Donnelly?

  Wonder what became of it?

• 8:01Ant McPartlin?

  I'm not, hey, yeah, there's loads, there's loads on it.

• 8:03Declan Donnelly?

  It's got to be aliens, hasn't it?

• 8:04Ant McPartlin?

  Well, this is my new fixation. So.

• 8:07Declan Donnelly?

  Mel's hole is.

• 8:08Ant McPartlin?

  Mel's hole.

• 8:09Declan Donnelly?

  Or Substack in general.

• 8:10Ant McPartlin?

  Mel's hole.

• 8:11Declan Donnelly?

  Mel's hole.

• 8:11Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah. That's, that's my new thing. Mel's hole. Which leads me on to this.

• 8:16Declan Donnelly?

  Right.

• 8:16Ant McPartlin?

  Because I thought, instead of me just spouting loads of stuff at you, we've got some topics in here that the team have put together, a bit of conspiracy theories, thoughts, jumping off points.

• 8:29Declan Donnelly?

  Okay.

• 8:30Ant McPartlin?

  That we could.

• 8:31Declan Donnelly?

  A discussion jar.

• 8:32Ant McPartlin?

  A discussion jar, where we pull them out, we talk about them, see if we can get to the bottom of things, what your opinion is of said thing.

• 8:39Declan Donnelly?

  Amazing.

• 8:39Ant McPartlin?

  Do you want to delve into the discussion jar?

• 8:41Declan Donnelly?

  Did you do a jingle?

• 8:42Ant McPartlin?

  Did we get a jingle?

• 8:43Speaker 03

  Discussion jar.

• 8:45Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, play it, play it again, play it again.

• 8:47Speaker 03

  Discussion jar.

• 8:48Ant McPartlin?

  Discussion jar. It should be more spooky than that, really, though.

• 8:52Declan Donnelly?

  Discussion jar.

• 8:53Ant McPartlin?

  Discussion jar. Whoa, ha, ha, ha, ha. What's real and what's wrong.

• 8:58Declan Donnelly?

  If you've got any topics that you'd like us to put in the discussion jar, just get in touch, hanging out at beltabox.com. We'll stick them in the discussion jar. We might just pull them out.

• 9:06Ant McPartlin?

  Cause it doesn't have to be outlandish claims, doesn't have to be, um, conspiracy theories. It can just be stuff that you'd like to know our opinion on.

• 9:13Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah.

• 9:14Ant McPartlin?

  Cause we have opinions.

• 9:15Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah.

• 9:15Ant McPartlin?

  Don't we?

• 9:16Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah. And put your opinion on your discussion topic. We'll read out, give you a name check.

• 9:20Ant McPartlin?

  Do you want to go first? I haven't been through them. I gave like a headline of the kind of things I wanted. So we've pulled some thoughts together from everyone who works on the pod.

• 9:31Declan Donnelly?

  Okay.

• 9:32Ant McPartlin?

  Well.

• 9:32Speaker 04

  I guess he's going cold and I've just been.

• 9:34Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, is that, is that my coffee?

• 9:35Speaker 04

  Yeah, it's some, yeah.

• 9:36Ant McPartlin?

  Well, thanks, Ed. Ed actually runs the whole thing and he's making coffee. That's how tight we are on budget here. We could do with a few more sponsors.

• 9:45Ant McPartlin?

  Thanks, Ed. Now I've got double cups. First discussion point is?

• 9:49Declan Donnelly?

  Birds aren't real.

• 9:51Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, yeah, I've heard this.

• 9:53Declan Donnelly?

  Have you?

• 9:53Ant McPartlin?

  My kids talk about this.

• 9:54Declan Donnelly?

  I've never heard this.

• 9:55Ant McPartlin?

  That pigeons aren't real and that they are part of the, have you heard this, Meg?

• 10:00Speaker 03

  Spies.

• 10:01Ant McPartlin?

  They're all spies. That's it. They're all spies.

• 10:04Declan Donnelly?

  You put this in there, didn't you?

• 10:05Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, was that you?

• 10:05Declan Donnelly?

  Um, there's surveillance from the US government from the 1970s.

• 10:09Ant McPartlin?

  Why the US government? We've got more pigeons in Travolta Square, haven't we?

• 10:13Declan Donnelly?

  It's because they're spies.

• 10:14Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, they're sending them over here to spy on us?

• 10:16Declan Donnelly?

  Hmm. I don't believe that, by the way.

• 10:17Ant McPartlin?

  I don't believe that. I don't believe that. But where do pigeons sleep? Where do they sleep?

• 10:21Speaker 03

  Have you ever seen a baby pigeon?

• 10:23Ant McPartlin?

  No, that's another thing. Have you ever seen a baby pigeon?

• 10:26Declan Donnelly?

  No.

• 10:26Ant McPartlin?

  No, you just see fully grown spies.

• 10:32Ant McPartlin?

  Fully grown spy pigeons.

• 10:34Declan Donnelly?

  I think, don't they just like sleep on ledges and then they, they kind of just snuggle in and their heads drop and they just become like a little ball of grey?

• 10:42Ant McPartlin?

  That's them sleeping?

• 10:43Declan Donnelly?

  I think so, yeah.

• 10:43Ant McPartlin?

  Right. So, so, but you don't really see them at night, do you?

• 10:47Declan Donnelly?

  I, I saw a couple the other night.

• 10:48Ant McPartlin?

  Did you?

• 10:49Declan Donnelly?

  Mm-hmm.

• 10:49Ant McPartlin?

  Where?

• 10:50Declan Donnelly?

  I came home late the other night and there was two.

• 10:53Ant McPartlin?

  This seems fishy.

• 10:55Declan Donnelly?

  On the house next door.

• 10:56Ant McPartlin?

  Watching you? They were watching you?

• 10:59Declan Donnelly?

  Oh my god, I'm under surveillance!

• 11:03Ant McPartlin?

  The pigeons were watching you?

• 11:05Declan Donnelly?

  That's just blown my mind.

• 11:06Ant McPartlin?

  Had you been somewhere you shouldn't have been?

• 11:07Declan Donnelly?

  No.

• 11:08Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, good. Phew.

• 11:09Declan Donnelly?

  Well, yeah, there were two pigeons up on the next door house, kind of sat there cooing, looking down at me coming in. Oh my god.

• 11:16Ant McPartlin?

  They're spying on you. They're spying on you.

• 11:18Declan Donnelly?

  And is it just pigeons? Because this says birds aren't real.

• 11:21Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, I've, I've heard pigeons. Pigeons is the conspiracy theory that I've heard.

• 11:25Declan Donnelly?

  So sparrows and robins?

• 11:26Ant McPartlin?

  They're all real. Yeah, robins aren't spies. Robins are beautiful.

• 11:29Declan Donnelly?

  Tits?

• 11:29Ant McPartlin?

  Gorgeous little things, eh?

• 11:31Declan Donnelly?

  Tits?

• 11:31Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, tits are lovely. Tits, tits are beautiful. Tits aren't spies.

• 11:38Ant McPartlin?

  You've all lost your mind, by the way.

• 11:41Declan Donnelly?

  Chaffinch?

• 11:42Ant McPartlin?

  Chaffinch is on spies, just pigeons, the ones that are flying around city centres. Seagulls, they're not spies, they're just irritants.

• 11:52Declan Donnelly?

  They're vicious.

• 11:53Ant McPartlin?

  Are they vicious?

• 11:53Declan Donnelly?

  Vicious.

• 11:56Ant McPartlin?

  Are they vicious?

• 11:57Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah, they'll eat your ice cream, won't they?

• 11:58Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, that's not vicious though, is it? That's your playful mischievous.

• 12:01Declan Donnelly?

  No.

• 12:02Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah?

• 12:02Declan Donnelly?

  No, nick your chips.

• 12:03Ant McPartlin?

  A bird landed on my wife's head once, a parrot, a big old parrot.

• 12:07Declan Donnelly?

  In Australia?

• 12:07Ant McPartlin?

  No, not in Australia, when we were, we were walking around the local park and she was like, what's that guy doing? Is that his bird? And he wa, and he had a big old parrot on his arm and he'd go like this and then the parrot would fly around the park and then fly back in it and land on his arm. And I was like, that is quite a good skill. Like, I've seen it with hawks and stuff, you know, like kestrel shows or hawk shows. A parrot? So he goes like that and she went, oh my God, it's going to land on somebody's head. And it landed on her head?

• 12:35Declan Donnelly?

  No way.

• 12:36Ant McPartlin?

  Oh God, I laughed so hard. And then I tried to get me phone to take a picture, which was apparently not the correct response. Correct response is to help.

• 12:43Declan Donnelly?

  Is to go shoot.

• 12:44Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 12:46Declan Donnelly?

  Why would you do that?

• 12:46Ant McPartlin?

  Thank God she put a hood up just in time because it was closed when. You would have hated that, wouldn't you?

• 12:50Declan Donnelly?

  Oh, yes. Nah, not a fan of that. Anything like that, parrots, budgies.

• 12:56Ant McPartlin?

  You don't like a budgie?

• 12:56Declan Donnelly?

  No way.

• 12:57Ant McPartlin?

  I had a budgie growing up, did I ever tell you that?

• 12:59Declan Donnelly?

  No.

• 13:00Ant McPartlin?

  I did, yeah, I had a budgie growing up. I didn't love it, you can't really, I didn't bond with the budgie.

• 13:04Declan Donnelly?

  Did you let it out the cage to fly around a bit?

• 13:06Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, then they just poos in your bedroom.

• 13:08Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah, no way.

• 13:09Ant McPartlin?

  I know. Can I pick a discussion? I think we've exhausted that, don't you?

• 13:12Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah.

• 13:12Ant McPartlin?

  Pigeons.

• 13:13Declan Donnelly?

  Are we saying pigeons are spies then? It's official.

• 13:15Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah.

• 13:16Declan Donnelly?

  It's official.

• 13:17Ant McPartlin?

  Pigeons are spies, it's official. Next topic out of the discussion jar is the Keanu Reeves is immortal theory. Now, people have found historical portraits dating back hundreds of years that look exactly like Keanu Reeves. Most notably a 19th century French actor named Paul Munet. And even a 1200 year old depiction of Charlemagne. I don't know about this. I think if you look at enough pictures of enough people, you will find people that look similar to them in the past.

• 13:51Declan Donnelly?

  What if he's not immortal and he's just a simple time traveller?

• 13:55Ant McPartlin?

  That's probably more, makes more sense, time travel. Because immortality is ludicrous, but time travellers, that's not ludicrous.

• 14:03Declan Donnelly?

  That's definitely something in that.

• 14:04Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, but Keanu Reeves is like the nicest guy in show business, isn't he?

• 14:08Declan Donnelly?

  He's a cool dude.

• 14:09Ant McPartlin?

  But isn't he, isn't he known as like a really good?

• 14:13Declan Donnelly?

  Egg.

• 14:13Ant McPartlin?

  Good egg, or egg, yeah, good egg and you love eggs, so you'd know.

• 14:18Declan Donnelly?

  I'm a big fan.

• 14:19Ant McPartlin?

  But yeah, I mean, have we got any images of Keanu and old Keanu, time travelling Keanu? Immortal Keanu, okay.

• 14:28Declan Donnelly?

  Not buying that.

• 14:28Ant McPartlin?

  It's, I'm not having that because that, somebody drew that, that's not a photo. So I dismiss that as evidence, your honour.

• 14:36Declan Donnelly?

  So if you're just listening, there is a drawing.

• 14:39Speaker 03

  And then this is the other painting.

• 14:40Ant McPartlin?

  Okay, again, not a photo, it's a painting, somebody drew that, dismiss that as evidence, your honour.

• 14:47Declan Donnelly?

  We can officially say Keanu Reeves is not immortal.

• 14:51Ant McPartlin?

  No.

• 14:52Declan Donnelly?

  But he's possibly a time traveller.

• 14:53Ant McPartlin?

  Possibly a time traveller, yeah, next.

• 14:55Declan Donnelly?

  Oh, now this is interesting.

• 14:57Ant McPartlin?

  Don't you wear your glasses?

• 14:59Declan Donnelly?

  Sometimes.

• 15:01Declan Donnelly?

  I'll see how far I get. Disney's Frozen was named to hide a secret. Oh, hang on, I'll put my glasses on.

• 15:09Ant McPartlin?

  I was gonna say, that's a lot of making it up as you go along, otherwise.

• 15:13Declan Donnelly?

  The Disney's Frozen was named to hide a secret theory.

• 15:16Ant McPartlin?

  Ah.

• 15:18Declan Donnelly?

  For years, a popular urban legend claimed Walt Disney was cryogenically frozen and hidden under the Pirates of the Caribbean ride. Now, I remember loads of stories from growing up that said Walt Disney was cryogenically frozen.

• 15:29Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, but I didn't know he was hidden under the Pirates of the Caribbean, right, okay? You okay?

• 15:34Declan Donnelly?

  You don't want me to talk about this?

• 15:39Declan Donnelly?

  I didn't know about the Pirates of the Caribbean thing.

• 15:40Ant McPartlin?

  No, either did I, I think that's pushing it a bit too far.

• 15:43Declan Donnelly?

  The theory goes that the movie Frozen was created and named specifically to clog up search engine results, so when you search Disney Frozen, you get Elsa and Anna instead of articles about Walt Disney's frozen head.

• 15:56Ant McPartlin?

  That makes sense, that makes absolute sense to me.

• 16:00Declan Donnelly?

  Well, I don't think there's any doubt that Walt Disney is cryogenically frozen.

• 16:04Ant McPartlin?

  Why? Because we've read it enough?

• 16:05Declan Donnelly?

  Because we've read it enough and that was a, it was a big thing in like the seventies, eighties.

• 16:13Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah.

• 16:13Declan Donnelly?

  That.

• 16:14Ant McPartlin?

  When we were growing up, people thought he was frozen.

• 16:16Declan Donnelly?

  To be cryogenically frozen, surely you have to be frozen when you're still alive? Because if you're dead, do they freeze you? But then I guess you freeze to death.

• 16:26Ant McPartlin?

  So you die pretty soon thereafter.

• 16:28Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah.

• 16:28Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah.

• 16:29Declan Donnelly?

  What if you're dead and you get frozen?

• 16:31Ant McPartlin?

  Well, it's like a woolly mammoth, isn't it?

• 16:32Declan Donnelly?

  What is it?

• 16:33Ant McPartlin?

  It's like a woolly mammoth. If a woolly mammoth is frozen in ice.

• 16:37Declan Donnelly?

  Yes.

• 16:38Ant McPartlin?

  They reckon that they could bring that woolly mammoth back. Is that right? They could bring it back to, or they could certainly extract its DNA and then clone the mammoth. Isn't that Jurassic Park? Yes, I know that's Jurassic Park, do you remember? But the principle of Jurassic Park is the woolly mammoth principle, which is you take the DNA of a, of a, of a long since dead mammal and you clone it.

• 17:03Declan Donnelly?

  Right.

• 17:04Ant McPartlin?

  A bit like Dolly the Sheep. Do you remember Dolly the Sheep when we were growing up? So that was, that was a sheep cloned from another sheep. So you could clone Walt Disney.

• 17:14Declan Donnelly?

  I could.

• 17:14Ant McPartlin?

  You, you couldn't do it.

• 17:15Declan Donnelly?

  I'm not sure. I wouldn't know where to start.

• 17:18Ant McPartlin?

  Watch Jurassic Park. That helps a lot. Helps you with the whole mosquito and the lava and, you know.

• 17:23Declan Donnelly?

  Right.

• 17:24Ant McPartlin?

  Have you seen Jurassic Park?

• 17:25Declan Donnelly?

  No.

• 17:25Ant McPartlin?

  What? We need to do a discussion, George, just on the stuff you haven't watched. Why haven't you watched Jurassic Park?

• 17:31Declan Donnelly?

  I haven't got time.

• 17:32Ant McPartlin?

  You read the book?

• 17:33Declan Donnelly?

  No.

• 17:34Ant McPartlin?

  It's very good.

• 17:35Declan Donnelly?

  I've got stuff to do.

• 17:36Ant McPartlin?

  Michael Crichton.

• 17:37Declan Donnelly?

  What did you call me?

• 17:39Ant McPartlin?

  He's the author.

• 17:39Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah, I know Michael Crichton.

• 17:40Ant McPartlin?

  Anyway, that's a good movie. So there's something in being cryogenically frozen. Would you do it?

• 17:46Declan Donnelly?

  No, thank you.

• 17:47Ant McPartlin?

  Why?

• 17:47Declan Donnelly?

  I've done my time.

• 17:49Ant McPartlin?

  Okay.

• 17:49Declan Donnelly?

  I'm not interested.

• 17:51Ant McPartlin?

  At all?

• 17:52Declan Donnelly?

  No.

• 17:52Ant McPartlin?

  There's not a little bit of curiosity where you think, we haven't done your time now, you're only 50.

• 17:57Declan Donnelly?

  I hope that when I die, that the secrets of the world, the universe, every conspiracy theory you've ever heard is revealed to you.

• 18:06Ant McPartlin?

  Okay.

• 18:07Declan Donnelly?

  It's quite a nice thought, isn't it?

• 18:08Ant McPartlin?

  It is. Yeah, I like that.

• 18:09Declan Donnelly?

  That you, that you kind of, you get to the end, it's game over and here's the.

• 18:14Ant McPartlin?

  Game over like we're living in a simulation?

• 18:15Declan Donnelly?

  Yes.

• 18:16Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, so you think, so definitely think we're living in a simulation?

• 18:21Declan Donnelly?

  Could be.

• 18:22Ant McPartlin?

  No, not could be, yes or no.

• 18:25Ant McPartlin?

  Put it in the discussion, John, next time. Right, next. So are we having that?

• 18:32Declan Donnelly?

  Do you remember the stories about Simon Cowell wanting to be cryogenically frozen?

• 18:35Ant McPartlin?

  Yes, I reckon he would.

• 18:37Declan Donnelly?

  He talked about that for a little while.

• 18:38Ant McPartlin?

  That is definitely, that's him.

• 18:40Declan Donnelly?

  That's something he'd do.

• 18:40Ant McPartlin?

  It's a very Simon thing to do that. In fact, who's to say this isn't the new Simon Cowell that we're working with right now?

• 18:47Declan Donnelly?

  2.0.

• 18:48Ant McPartlin?

  Could be. The old Simon Cowell might be frozen in ice. This could be the DNA extracted from the old pop idol Simon.

• 18:55Declan Donnelly?

  Right.

• 18:56Ant McPartlin?

  And this is the new Simon.

• 18:58Declan Donnelly?

  It would make a lot of sense.

• 18:59Ant McPartlin?

  What?

• 19:00Declan Donnelly?

  It would make a lot of sense.

• 19:02Ant McPartlin?

  Okay, next one. The Paul is dead theory.

• 19:05Declan Donnelly?

  Oh.

• 19:05Ant McPartlin?

  You know this one. Paul McCartney, the theory goes that Paul McCartney died in 1966 and was replaced by a lookalike. And there's clues to this hidden within Beatles album covers and within Beatles songs. Discuss.

• 19:21Declan Donnelly?

  I know this theory very, very well. Even saw some YouTube videos about it.

• 19:26Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, see, hyperfixation for a little while, was it?

• 19:29Declan Donnelly?

  It was a little bit.

• 19:29Ant McPartlin?

  Welcome to my world.

• 19:30Declan Donnelly?

  I was a very big fan of the Beatles growing up.

• 19:32Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah.

• 19:33Declan Donnelly?

  And you can see that Paul, kind of after the theory and Paul before, there are slight different facial.

• 19:42Ant McPartlin?

  Is there?

• 19:42Declan Donnelly?

  Features.

• 19:43Ant McPartlin?

  Right.

• 19:43Declan Donnelly?

  Slightly different facial features, perhaps. Is it just a different shadow? Is it just taken from a slightly different angle?

• 19:49Ant McPartlin?

  Getting older.

• 19:49Declan Donnelly?

  Maybe just getting older. There is a bit of that.

• 19:52Ant McPartlin?

  Grew a beard. He grew a beard. He could grow a beard very easily.

• 19:54Declan Donnelly?

  Really good beard.

• 19:54Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, a really good beard.

• 19:56Declan Donnelly?

  If this was the case and they tried to cover it up, why would you put clues in your songs? Why would you give people clues if you didn't want anybody to know about it? What's the point in doing clues if you didn't want people to know?

• 20:10Ant McPartlin?

  To add to the mystique of the band, to keep the album still as chugging along? Was it, was it a kind of a, was it a record company thing?

• 20:19Declan Donnelly?

  A marketing tool.

• 20:20Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah. Paul's dead. Oh my God. What are we gonna do? So the one of them is when they're walking across Abbey Road on the cover of Abbey Road. Paul is not wearing any shoes.

• 20:30Declan Donnelly?

  He's barefoot.

• 20:31Ant McPartlin?

  He's barefoot and people are saying that's, that's a clue that he's dead.

• 20:35Declan Donnelly?

  And he's in a white suit. So he's an angel.

• 20:37Speaker 03

  So it's that long ago that he?

• 20:39Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah, it was early days of the, early days of the Beatles.

• 20:42Ant McPartlin?

  But he's since come out and rubbish that Paul, Paul McCartney.

• 20:45Declan Donnelly?

  Well, he would.

• 20:45Ant McPartlin?

  And then didn't John Lennon sing something about, here's another one for you?

• 20:49Declan Donnelly?

  Here's another clue for you. The walrus was Paul.

• 20:51Ant McPartlin?

  The walrus was Paul.

• 20:52Speaker 03

  They're rage baiting.

• 20:53Ant McPartlin?

  Rage baiting. The Beatles were rage baiting. Maybe they were, but that's good. We're still talking about it now. In 2026.

• 21:01Declan Donnelly?

  Maybe it did happen. Hear me out. Hear me this theory. Maybe it did happen and Paul was replaced. And they knew they could never keep this secret forever. So they say, well, let's lean into it. And, sorry, I'm getting emotional.

• 21:17Declan Donnelly?

  Let's lean into it and start these rumours that we can poo poo and rubbish. And it's a bit of a conspiracy theory, but while people are looking at the conspiracy theory and debating whether it's true or not, they're not looking over here, which is actually where it has happened and it's true. So we can go, oh yeah, that's just a conspiracy theory, but actually it's true. But while they're talking about the conspiracy theory. So it's like a double bluff. So like when we shot the film Alien Autopsy and the autopsy film came out, right? When the, so the, the premise of Alien Autopsy. The premise of Alien Autopsy, right, is all characters shot a fake Roswell, New Mexico,

• 21:59Declan Donnelly?

  Alien Autopsy that was supposed to take place in 1947. It actually took place in a flat in London in whatever it was, 1992. Right? The American military were very happy for that video to go out because all the talk was about, is the video real or not? And they could poo poo it and go, yeah, it's not real. It's absolutely not real. And they all couldn't authenticate it and all of that. Because while everybody was looking at that fake Alien Autopsy video, they weren't looking at the real issue.

• 22:29Ant McPartlin?

  Which was?

• 22:30Declan Donnelly?

  There was an actual Alien Autopsy in Roswell, New Mexico in 1947. But while they weren't talking about that, they were talking about, is this video fake or not? So all of everybody's energies were going into, is it real, is it fake, is it real, is it fake? They weren't looking over here.

• 22:47Ant McPartlin?

  Well, I was also in that movie and this is news to me.

• 22:52Ant McPartlin?

  Because I wasn't looking both ways.

• 22:56Ant McPartlin?

  We should get Ray and Gary on. Ray and Gary are the real people who we played in the movie. Who fake the alien autopsy footage because they said they had the footage, but the footage burnt. And they had to show it to some gangsters.

• 23:11Declan Donnelly?

  Go and watch Alien, you've probably seen it, everybody has. It's a bit like Jurassic Park, everybody's seen it. Go and watch Alien Autopsy.

• 23:18Ant McPartlin?

  You've already bought it, it'll be in your, it'll be in your library, obviously, so watch it again.

• 23:23Declan Donnelly?

  Go and watch Alien Autopsy the movie and we'll get Ray and Gary on and we'll have a right chat about it.

• 23:28Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, okay, deal.

• 23:30Declan Donnelly?

  That's if they'll agree to come on.

• 23:32Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, I'm sure, I'm sure they will. So just to finish off on the Paul McCartney thing, we met Paul McCartney.

• 23:36Declan Donnelly?

  Yes.

• 23:37Ant McPartlin?

  Couple of times.

• 23:37Declan Donnelly?

  Yes, he's lovely.

• 23:39Ant McPartlin?

  Lovely man, really lovely man and he's a hero of ours. I think he's real, right?

• 23:44Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah, I don't think he's dead, I don't think.

• 23:45Ant McPartlin?

  He didn't have a beard when we met him.

• 23:47Declan Donnelly?

  No, he didn't, do you think he'd grow a beard?

• 23:49Ant McPartlin?

  Well, I've seen the footage, if that was him, maybe the old Paul could grow a beard. But I haven't seen him in a beard in a while.

• 24:01Ant McPartlin?

  Paul is real.

• 24:02Declan Donnelly?

  Paul is real.

• 24:02Ant McPartlin?

  Paul is real.

• 24:03Declan Donnelly?

  Paul is real.

• 24:04Ant McPartlin?

  One last one?

• 24:04Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah, come on.

• 24:05Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, okay.

• 24:07Ant McPartlin?

  I'll go for the shortest one there is. Ah, the hollow moon theory. It's actually a spaceship in brackets. Now, I've talked about this.

• 24:18Declan Donnelly?

  Yes, you mentioned this a couple of weeks ago.

• 24:19Ant McPartlin?

  So what I'd heard was that there were reports from a couple of the astronauts who landed their lunar spaceship on the moon.

• 24:27Declan Donnelly?

  Did they though?

• 24:28Ant McPartlin?

  Well, did they? Don't know, to be discussed. When the lunar spaceship landed on the moon, it hit the moon and the moon rung like a bell. So something's only going to ring like a bell if it's hollowish inside. And also, um, people who claim the moon is hollow also, also say, look at the craters on the moon are only a certain depth, that you don't ever see a really huge crater, do you?

• 24:53Declan Donnelly?

  Not like Mel's Hole.

• 24:54Ant McPartlin?

  Not like Mel's Hole.

• 24:55Declan Donnelly?

  There's no Mel's Holes.

• 24:55Ant McPartlin?

  Where we don't know how deep that is, uh, yet. I'll come back to you on that though. Next time we do this, put Mel's Hole in there, put Mel's Hole in the hole. So the craters are a certain, there are a certain depth and nothing seems to have gone, um, deeper than the, the shallow craters on the moon.

• 25:10Declan Donnelly?

  Right.

• 25:10Ant McPartlin?

  Why? Why is that?

• 25:12Declan Donnelly?

  I, I know what you mean. Could you dig a hole on the moon?

• 25:15Ant McPartlin?

  So the moon is the moon, what is the moon? Is the moon there as a spaceship?

• 25:22Ant McPartlin?

  Is it there to, has it been put in place?

• 25:25Declan Donnelly?

  By the aliens.

• 25:26Ant McPartlin?

  By the aliens? That's another theory that it was, you know, millions of years ago.

• 25:32Declan Donnelly?

  Is it the surveillance?

• 25:34Ant McPartlin?

  Yes. Is it like a pigeon? Is it the biggest pigeon that we have? So it's the biggest spy, but not from the US government, from another race. And all the craters, all the craters like eyes. I haven't read any of this, we're just making this up, but it's cool though, right? So there we have it. The craters are eyes and the moon is a spying device.

• 25:57Declan Donnelly?

  It's official.

• 25:58Ant McPartlin?

  Sleep well, guys.

• 26:01Ant McPartlin?

  You're not having that?

• 26:02Declan Donnelly?

  I wouldn't put it past them.

• 26:03Ant McPartlin?

  Past who?

• 26:04Declan Donnelly?

  The Martians.

• 26:05Ant McPartlin?

  Well, is it Martians?

• 26:06Declan Donnelly?

  Well, that's very interesting.

• 26:07Ant McPartlin?

  Can we end it there? Do, let's do one more. We can't end it there. One quick, one quick one. Cause that's a tough one to finish on. We need a, we need a, we need a giggle. That's even smaller one. For a small guy, you don't need to expect for that one, surely.

• 26:22Declan Donnelly?

  Well, this is in contrast to the moon is hollow.

• 26:24Ant McPartlin?

  Oh.

• 26:25Declan Donnelly?

  This one says the moon is made of cheese theory.

• 26:27Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, for God's sake. Who wrote this? Your daughter?

• 26:31Declan Donnelly?

  No, this sounds like a Lola one.

• 26:33Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, she's not here. Funny that. Where is she? So are these both, they're not going in? The hollow moon and the moon made of cheese?

• 26:40Declan Donnelly?

  Hollow moon is interesting.

• 26:43Ant McPartlin?

  Come back to it.

• 26:44Declan Donnelly?

  We'll come back to that. Yeah, come back to that. It's definitely not made of cheese.

• 26:46Ant McPartlin?

  If you've got any more thoughts or any more, I mean, information is what we really need. Not just your thoughts, but any more info on any of the discussion points today, then please get in touch at [email protected] and also add your own discussion points.

• 27:03Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah.

• 27:03Ant McPartlin?

  We'd love to hear from you.

• 27:04Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah, we'll have your discussion points. Yeah, and let us know what your opinions are on them as well. I like this.

• 27:09Ant McPartlin?

  It's good, isn't it?

• 27:10Declan Donnelly?

  It's really good. Very good fun.

• 27:12Ant McPartlin?

  Are you gonna get Substack?

• 27:14Declan Donnelly?

  No, I shouldn't have thought so.

• 27:15Ant McPartlin?

  Do you go on TikTok?

• 27:16Declan Donnelly?

  Hmm, very rarely.

• 27:17Ant McPartlin?

  Mel's Hall.

• 27:19Declan Donnelly?

  Mel's Hall.

• 27:20Ant McPartlin?

  Make sure you write it in properly. Mel's Hall. That's it. Write it correctly or you could get your computer taken away.

• 27:27Declan Donnelly?

  That's it for today. We'll be back on Thursday.

• 27:30Ant McPartlin?

  Yes.

• 27:30Declan Donnelly?

  All being well, with another, with another podcast.

• 27:34Ant McPartlin?

  If we're not cancelled by the US government.

• 27:36Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah.

• 27:36Ant McPartlin?

  If we're not here, it's not really me. It's in a person there.

• 27:39Declan Donnelly?

  We'll be back on Thursday with another podcast. Until then.

• 27:42Ant McPartlin?

  Respect, guys.

• 27:43Declan Donnelly?

  Respect, guys. See you next time.

• 27:45Ant McPartlin?

  Rehearsal.

• 27:46Declan Donnelly?

  Bye bye.

• 27:46Ant McPartlin?

  Bye bye. This one?

• 27:49Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah.

• 27:50Ant McPartlin?

  I'm off to kiss.

• 28:00Speaker 05

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