What Do Ant and Harry Styles Have In Common And WHERE Is Dec’s Beard??

This week on the show, Dec’s dressed for World Book Day, and Ant’s found himself a new favourite Dec. The boys give their lowest ever banana rating, and find perhaps their favourite diary jingle yet… Dec shares the backstory to the day he lost his iconic curtains and Ant offers a caveat for finding out the price of his pants - the question, seemingly, on everybody’s lips… The team have also got involved with designs for Ant’s tattoo, and of course there’s plenty of letters from the postbag too. Keep everything coming into [email protected] And if you’re an overseas listener, and would like to find out the price of Ant’s pants, check back here tomorrow for the address to send it to! ----- 00.00 - Coming up 00.50 - Dec’s dressed for World Book Day 03.25 - Tom Holland’s got married?! 06.10 - Where’s Dec’s beard?? 09.00 - Ant’s pant update - send us an SAE to find out the price! 13.50 - Tony Mac & Dec are back! 14.46 - The Map returns - sponsored by Gemini 19.35 - Dec’s boy’s weekend 22.00 - Ant’s weekend with the girls 22.30 - Banana rating - JFK Junior A Love Story 23.20 - Our worst banana rating yet 24.00 - Let’s make banana ratings official 25.05 - Harry Styles at the BRITs gets EIGHT BANANAS 25.35 - Ant loves kissing 27.30 - Ant meets Declan Rice 29.45 - The story behind Dec’s curtains 32.00 - Dec’s Diary jingle 33.50 - Dec’s Diary 37.45 - Postbag 39.45 - How did Ant & Dec do in their GCSEs 41.55 - The team design tattoos for Ant Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Ant McPartlin?

  Coming up on the show, I meet my new favourite, Deck. Look how tall Deck is. Isn't Deck... Look, I've never said that in me life.

• 0:07Declan Donnelly?

  We're back to banana ratings and our lowest one yet.

• 0:09Ant McPartlin?

  My banana wilted when that came on. We discussed the absence of Deck's beard.

• 0:15Declan Donnelly?

  This whole thing was about you accusing me of not being able to grow a beard. We talk Harry Styles and how much Ant loves kissing.

• 0:21Ant McPartlin?

  Love it. Kissing's great. Isn't kissing great? And I've still got an ear infection.

• 0:26Declan Donnelly?

  Hooray!

• 0:26Ant McPartlin?

  Not hooray!

• 0:27Declan Donnelly?

  Enjoy the show.

• 0:35Declan Donnelly?

  Hello, everybody. Hello.

• 0:39Ant McPartlin?

  Hello.

• 0:39Declan Donnelly?

  Come on in.

• 0:40Ant McPartlin?

  Hello.

• 0:41Declan Donnelly?

  Let me get on the air.

• 0:43Ant McPartlin?

  I would like to talk to you, Wettler.

• 0:44Declan Donnelly?

  Turn your lights on, we've got plenty of time to chat. What's the matter with you?

• 0:49Ant McPartlin?

  What's this?

• 0:49Declan Donnelly?

  Oh!

• 0:50Ant McPartlin?

  What's all this about?

• 0:50Declan Donnelly?

  You noticed?

• 0:52Ant McPartlin?

  You have a tail!

• 0:53Declan Donnelly?

  For those of you just listening...

• 0:55Ant McPartlin?

  Hi, everyone.

• 0:56Declan Donnelly?

  I've come in with a tail.

• 0:57Ant McPartlin?

  And ears.

• 0:58Declan Donnelly?

  Very cute pair of ears, I think you're fine.

• 1:00Ant McPartlin?

  Says he.

• 1:03Ant McPartlin?

  Why? World Book Day.

• 1:04Declan Donnelly?

  It's World Book Day today.

• 1:05Ant McPartlin?

  Of course it is. I didn't think we were doing anything.

• 1:07Declan Donnelly?

  Well, of course.

• 1:08Ant McPartlin?

  I didn't get the memo.

• 1:09Declan Donnelly?

  Did you not?

• 1:09Ant McPartlin?

  No. I thought it was all for that.

• 1:12Declan Donnelly?

  There is no memo, it's just World Book Day. Let's all join in.

• 1:14Ant McPartlin?

  Nobody else is dressed up in the podcast studio? Fiona, Jemima, you're not dressed up? No, guys?

• 1:19Declan Donnelly?

  And they've got wigs and stuff on.

• 1:20Ant McPartlin?

  They've got wigs, have they?

• 1:21Declan Donnelly?

  Have chosen not to put them on.

• 1:23Ant McPartlin?

  I know a lot of people do.

• 1:26Ant McPartlin?

  I'm kind of... Oh, God. Now he's just posturing with his tail everywhere.

• 1:31Declan Donnelly?

  He's got his tail in the air.

• 1:32Ant McPartlin?

  You've got your phone in your pocket, careful.

• 1:34Declan Donnelly?

  Oh, yeah. Sit that out.

• 1:35Ant McPartlin?

  You'll end up ringing someone.

• 1:38Ant McPartlin?

  Please don't do that. There's something very unnerving about... No, don't lean over me like that in a suggestive manner, waggling your tail.

• 1:44Declan Donnelly?

  I'm excited for the podcast.

• 1:45Ant McPartlin?

  I don't want you to waddle your tail. Sit down. Tear it off.

• 1:50Ant McPartlin?

  I'm a year away from World Book Day.

• 1:52Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah.

• 1:52Ant McPartlin?

  Because my girls are too old now.

• 1:53Declan Donnelly?

  Right.

• 1:54Ant McPartlin?

  And got a wireless too small. So I'm in a real sweet spot of not having to scramble around for an outfit before World Book Day, like millions of parents in this country. Yourself, have you scrambled around for outfits for a little too?

• 2:07Declan Donnelly?

  I am absolutely in the sweet spot of scrambling around.

• 2:10Ant McPartlin?

  Right, and?

• 2:11Declan Donnelly?

  For outfits.

• 2:11Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, is Deck just whipping off his tail? Oh, that was a very sexy way of doing it. It's a bit like my cup. Sexy and nice. Thanks to whoever sent these. Who sent these in?

• 2:20Declan Donnelly?

  Steph, wasn't it? Steph sent our-

• 2:22Ant McPartlin?

  Thanks Steph!

• 2:22Declan Donnelly?

  Sent our cups in. We've got a sexy cup and a nice cup.

• 2:24Ant McPartlin?

  Stopped them the right way around, didn't she?

• 2:26Declan Donnelly?

  I don't know how we've got them this way around.

• 2:27Ant McPartlin?

  She's got it the right way around.

• 2:28Declan Donnelly?

  Who chose who gets whose? Did Steph choose them?

• 2:30Ant McPartlin?

  Steph did. Sexy and nice. Thanks Steph. My fuck out here.

• 2:37Ant McPartlin?

  Which camera? To Steph. Thanks Steph.

• 2:39Declan Donnelly?

  All right, she's had enough of that. So I'm a fox today.

• 2:42Ant McPartlin?

  Oh yeah, sorry.

• 2:43Declan Donnelly?

  I'm a fox.

• 2:44Ant McPartlin?

  Stop waddling your tail in me face!

• 2:45Declan Donnelly?

  So I'm a fox for World Book Day.

• 2:48Ant McPartlin?

  Yes, yes, we've established.

• 2:49Declan Donnelly?

  The fox from The Gruffalo. Jack has gone to nursery as Tom Holland.

• 2:53Ant McPartlin?

  What?

• 2:54Declan Donnelly?

  Spider-Man.

• 2:54Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, okay.

• 2:55Declan Donnelly?

  He's dressed as Spider-Man. Isla has gone as a Dalmatian.

• 2:59Ant McPartlin?

  From 101 Dalmatians?

• 3:00Declan Donnelly?

  No.

• 3:01Ant McPartlin?

  What?

• 3:01Declan Donnelly?

  From the Julia Donaldson book, The Hospital Dog.

• 3:05Ant McPartlin?

  Don't know that one!

• 3:06Declan Donnelly?

  The character she's picked, she wants to go as the dog from The Hospital Dog, so she's dressed as a Dalmatian.

• 3:11Ant McPartlin?

  Okay. Does she look cute?

• 3:13Declan Donnelly?

  Very.

• 3:14Ant McPartlin?

  Cuter than her dad and the fox tail and ears?

• 3:16Declan Donnelly?

  Nope. Sorry, love.

• 3:18Ant McPartlin?

  Sorry.

• 3:19Declan Donnelly?

  Sorry, dear. You still don't quite match up to Foxy Dad.

• 3:23Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, speaking of Tom Holland.

• 3:25Declan Donnelly?

  Yes?

• 3:25Ant McPartlin?

  Apparently, he's just got married to Zendaya.

• 3:28Declan Donnelly?

  No!

• 3:29Ant McPartlin?

  Did you see that? No. You see that rumour? It's just a rumour and apparently it was an intimate affair.

• 3:34Declan Donnelly?

  He can't have done.

• 3:35Ant McPartlin?

  Why?

• 3:36Declan Donnelly?

  Because we didn't get invited.

• 3:37Ant McPartlin?

  It was an intimate affair. What don't you get? Just because I've met him once doesn't mean that gives us an invitation to the wedding.

• 3:44Declan Donnelly?

  Well, I assumed it did.

• 3:45Ant McPartlin?

  I wonder if the dog was there. Zendaya's dog.

• 3:47Declan Donnelly?

  What happened to the dog? Was the dog a bridesmaid?

• 3:49Ant McPartlin?

  Maybe the dog had the rings on its back. That's how I'm gonna imagine it. Let's just start it here. So apparently the dog was there.

• 3:56Declan Donnelly?

  Right.

• 3:56Ant McPartlin?

  And the dog walked down the aisle and had the rings on its back.

• 3:59Declan Donnelly?

  That is beautiful.

• 4:00Ant McPartlin?

  And then it went, "Woof!", and then they got the rings. It was really, it was a beautiful affair, very intimate. Very intimate affair. Not enough space for friends from the golf club.

• 4:08Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah.

• 4:09Ant McPartlin?

  That would be too much.

• 4:10Declan Donnelly?

  Wasn't it a funny moment when they said, "Does anybody here know of any just impediment why these two cannot be joined?", and the dog woofed?

• 4:16Ant McPartlin?

  Woof!

• 4:17Declan Donnelly?

  That was a really funny moment.

• 4:18Ant McPartlin?

  And they said, "Not now, Zendaya's dog."

• 4:20Declan Donnelly?

  I thought that was hilarious.

• 4:22Ant McPartlin?

  I think it's got a name, but we don't know the name. Because we're not part of the intimate group of friends who would be invited to this so-called wedding. But anyway, Tom, Zendaya, if you're all married, if it is more than just a rumor, then congratulations from us. See you down at the golf club with your present. Need to get him a present.

• 4:39Declan Donnelly?

  Let's get him a present.

• 4:39Ant McPartlin?

  A candle, just get him a candle.

• 4:40Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah.

• 4:41Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, but they'll have a candle.

• 4:42Declan Donnelly?

  I've got loads in the cupboard.

• 4:42Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, I've got lots in the cupboard as well. Just don't tell them, yeah, regift.

• 4:45Declan Donnelly?

  We'll get a good one, one with three wigs.

• 4:47Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, okay, yeah.

• 4:47Declan Donnelly?

  A big one.

• 4:48Ant McPartlin?

  Three wigs, yeah.

• 4:48Declan Donnelly?

  Three-wig candle, let's do that. Shall I take my ears off?

• 4:50Ant McPartlin?

  Yes, please.

• 4:51Declan Donnelly?

  Okay.

• 4:51Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, slightly off-putting.

• 4:53Declan Donnelly?

  And catch my tail and my ears. Oops, sorry.

• 4:57Ant McPartlin?

  This podcast is sponsored by Santander, who understand that getting started on a goal isn't easy and taking a meaningful first step is how progress happens.

• 5:07Declan Donnelly?

  So we're a few weeks in to the pod, in full swing now.

• 5:10Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah.

• 5:10Declan Donnelly?

  How do you feel it's going now as opposed to when we started?

• 5:13Ant McPartlin?

  Better. No, I enjoyed the first one because we were both a bit nervous.

• 5:18Declan Donnelly?

  We were nervous, yeah, just now.

• 5:20Ant McPartlin?

  And we were like, how's it gonna be taken by the viewers and the listeners, how's it gonna go down? But it's gone that well.

• 5:25Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah, it's been really nice.

• 5:26Ant McPartlin?

  And that gives you confidence to...

• 5:27Declan Donnelly?

  To then move on and grow with it.

• 5:28Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, exactly.

• 5:29Declan Donnelly?

  What I really enjoy as well is like hearing the hangout.

• 5:31Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, exactly.

• 5:32Declan Donnelly?

  It's a little bit of a calm space, a safe space.

• 5:34Ant McPartlin?

  It's a working title, actually, isn't it?

• 5:36Declan Donnelly?

  It's a bit of a safe space to kind of share.

• 5:38Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, and it's not just too serious.

• 5:40Declan Donnelly?

  Just relax and chat.

• 5:41Ant McPartlin?

  Just relax and chat. That's one thing I've realised, just relaxing and chatting is the best way forward.

• 5:47Declan Donnelly?

  Exactly.

• 5:47Ant McPartlin?

  And I didn't know that prior to a podcast.

• 5:50Declan Donnelly?

  Yes.

• 5:50Ant McPartlin?

  It's a mystery door, you know, we don't know what's behind there, we don't know what's gonna come through, but we can deal with it.

• 5:55Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah.

• 5:56Ant McPartlin?

  The more you do it, the more confident you get.

• 5:57Declan Donnelly?

  Absolutely, couldn't agree more. And that's what Santander is doing, working hard to help customers build the confidence they need to achieve a goal that matters to them.

• 6:07Ant McPartlin?

  Santander, it starts here. I saw some comments.

• 6:11Declan Donnelly?

  Oh, yes.

• 6:12Ant McPartlin?

  For once. Do you know what I saw a lot of?

• 6:14Declan Donnelly?

  What?

• 6:14Ant McPartlin?

  Where's Dex's beard?

• 6:16Declan Donnelly?

  Ah.

• 6:16Ant McPartlin?

  Dex promised that, didn't he? Yes. Didn't he? He said he was gonna grow a beard because I said he couldn't grow a beard and he laughed at me. But look, like a baby's bum, that's how smoothly shaved he is, always.

• 6:30Declan Donnelly?

  I just haven't had time to grow it.

• 6:33Ant McPartlin?

  You've not been able to water it.

• 6:36Declan Donnelly?

  No, I've had stuff on.

• 6:38Ant McPartlin?

  Like what?

• 6:38Declan Donnelly?

  Like, like going to things and you want to be nicely clean shaven.

• 6:42Ant McPartlin?

  Well, that's the whole point. You can't be nicely clean shaven if you're gonna let it grow.

• 6:45Declan Donnelly?

  I know, but I need to find a little window of a week.

• 6:46Ant McPartlin?

  A sweet spot.

• 6:47Declan Donnelly?

  A sweet spot of a week where I'm not doing anything.

• 6:49Ant McPartlin?

  This week?

• 6:50Declan Donnelly?

  Maybe next week. This whole thing was about you accusing me of not being able to grow a beard.

• 6:54Ant McPartlin?

  Well, I still feel like you can't grow a beard because there's been a lot of excuses. Hasn't there though? This is not the right week. I've got things on this week. Everybody's got things on. They just let the beard grow. I've committed to a tattoo after six months just by one conversation on this podcast, which I can't really roll back from now because I've said it now. You've said it, but you're not doing it. You're not delivering on your manifesto beards.

• 7:23Declan Donnelly?

  Right, I'll deal with it week after next.

• 7:26Ant McPartlin?

  What is wrong with this week? What have you got on?

• 7:29Declan Donnelly?

  I've got stuff on.

• 7:29Ant McPartlin?

  What stuff?

• 7:30Declan Donnelly?

  Oh, loads of stuff.

• 7:32Ant McPartlin?

  Who are you going, who are you going to meet? The Pope. Like, who is that important that you need to be this cleanly shaven for? Because it's not Stephen Mulhern.

• 7:42Declan Donnelly?

  No, I know.

• 7:43Ant McPartlin?

  You've seen him, haven't you?

• 7:48Ant McPartlin?

  Who is it then?

• 7:50Declan Donnelly?

  Why do you think I have to be cleanly shaven, Stephen Mulhern?

• 7:52Ant McPartlin?

  Well, that's what I'm asking. You don't have to be cleanly shaven.

• 7:55Declan Donnelly?

  What a weird thing to say.

• 7:57Ant McPartlin?

  No, but that's the only person I know that you're meeting. Is Stephen Mulhern. Does he insist that you have to be cleanly shaven? Does he?

• 8:04Declan Donnelly?

  He's always quite cleanly shaven.

• 8:05Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, he can't grow a beard. He definitely, let's get Stephen on because I don't think Stephen can grow a beard. That is a genuine worry of mine.

• 8:16Ant McPartlin?

  He's just can't.

• 8:16Declan Donnelly?

  Are you worried about Stephen's beard?

• 8:18Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, I really am. Yeah, I am. I am.

• 8:22Declan Donnelly?

  Are you?

• 8:23Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah. And you want to make sure that people don't think you're one and the same. Because he's a very odd man, Stephen. You want to distance yourself from that oddness, I think. When are you going to do it?

• 8:32Declan Donnelly?

  I'll do it the week after next, I think.

• 8:35Ant McPartlin?

  Right, okay, good.

• 8:37Declan Donnelly?

  Unless something comes in the diary.

• 8:38Ant McPartlin?

  No, nothing can come in that's more important.

• 8:41Declan Donnelly?

  Nothing can come more important than me growing a beard. Right, just so I've got this clear.

• 8:46Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah.

• 8:47Declan Donnelly?

  Nothing is more important at this stage than me growing a beard. Okay.

• 8:51Ant McPartlin?

  Seems that way.

• 8:52Declan Donnelly?

  Obsessed. Hashtag obsessed.

• 8:54Ant McPartlin?

  Unless we get an invite to Tom and Zendaya's official wedding, then all better off.

• 9:00Declan Donnelly?

  Now, a lot of people are very interested in your pants.

• 9:03Ant McPartlin?

  Well, okay, I've got a bit of a pants update.

• 9:05Declan Donnelly?

  Oh, okay. Well, there's a lot of people who don't live in the UK who are listening, as we've seen from the listeners map.

• 9:11Ant McPartlin?

  Yes.

• 9:12Declan Donnelly?

  More of that later. And they are frustrated that they will probably never bump into you, therefore never find out how much your pants were.

• 9:19Ant McPartlin?

  That is, that is a genuine frustration.

• 9:21Declan Donnelly?

  It is a frustration.

• 9:23Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, what a shame, what a shame for them.

• 9:25Declan Donnelly?

  Well, I know, I think.

• 9:25Ant McPartlin?

  What a real shame for you.

• 9:26Declan Donnelly?

  I think we have to address it.

• 9:27Ant McPartlin?

  Well, I'm not gonna, that was the pledge. If I see you in person, I will tell you how much I paid for the pants. But if I don't see you in person, I can't.

• 9:36Declan Donnelly?

  It's not fair. So I think we need to give everybody around the world, wherever they are, the chance to find out how much your pants are.

• 9:42Ant McPartlin?

  Well, how do we do that?

• 9:43Declan Donnelly?

  So remember a couple of weeks ago, we had that letter from a listener who said, in days gone by, I used to send a stamped addressed envelope.

• 9:49Ant McPartlin?

  Yes.

• 9:49Declan Donnelly?

  To a TV show and maybe send an SAE. So I was thinking, if you don't live in the UK.

• 9:54Ant McPartlin?

  Right.

• 9:55Declan Donnelly?

  You could send a SAE to us here and you could.

• 9:59Ant McPartlin?

  And I'll write the figure on it.

• 10:00Declan Donnelly?

  And you write the figure back and just send it back to them.

• 10:02Ant McPartlin?

  Okay, I pledge, I pledge.

• 10:04Declan Donnelly?

  Will you do it?

• 10:05Ant McPartlin?

  It's, it's a new pledge.

• 10:06Declan Donnelly?

  Okay.

• 10:06Ant McPartlin?

  So it's an updated pledge. If you meet us in person, I'll tell you. But if you send in a stamped addressed envelope, then I will write the figure down and send it back to you. There you go. That's my pledge.

• 10:16Declan Donnelly?

  That's fair. That makes me feel better.

• 10:19Ant McPartlin?

  Although.

• 10:20Declan Donnelly?

  Although.

• 10:20Ant McPartlin?

  Bit of a pants update.

• 10:21Declan Donnelly?

  Go on.

• 10:22Ant McPartlin?

  So I was swimming with Wilder on Saturday, right?

• 10:26Declan Donnelly?

  By the way, how's the ear?

• 10:27Ant McPartlin?

  It's not great.

• 10:27Declan Donnelly?

  It's not, no.

• 10:28Ant McPartlin?

  I kept my head out of the water. I'm not allowed my head under the water.

• 10:31Declan Donnelly?

  Can you hear that yet?

• 10:31Ant McPartlin?

  No, it's still blocked.

• 10:33Declan Donnelly?

  No way.

• 10:33Ant McPartlin?

  Can you believe it?

• 10:34Declan Donnelly?

  Seriously?

• 10:34Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, I might actually have to go and. Have grommets put in here. Remember like you did when you were a kid. When you're seven, it's kind of fine. But when you're 50, it's just a bit of a surprise to hear that from your doctor. You might need grommets. Yeah, yeah. Still, still blocked. Lovely cheese grommet. No, not that kind of grommet. Oh, right. Just a little, it's like a little round tube that they put in. Okay. Anyway. Yes. I was in this swimming pool, head above water, as I do. And then dad, who I knew, was there. And he sidled over to us and he was like, you know, your claim that you are wearing the best pants in the world. Yes. On your podcast. I said, yes, of course I know the claim. I said, you want to know how much they are? He said, well, you know, you told me last time, which I did. Right. I told him the last swimming lesson.

• 11:19Ant McPartlin?

  He's very familiar. He said, I think my pants are the best pants in the world. Now, best pants or most expensive pants? No. So the way I found my pants originally was I Googled best pants in the world. Oh. We're getting the pants origin story now. And that's when I found this company. And I'm going to mention the company because I think it's right. It's right. And this is a verified purchase. You're not getting anything for free. It's not an ad. Yeah, I'm not getting anything for free. It's a company called CDLP, right? CDLP. And that's where I got my pants from. They're great. And I, I believe they're the greatest pants in the world. However, this other dad says they're not.

• 12:02Ant McPartlin?

  He says that he listened to Jamie Oliver on another podcast talking about pants. I don't know when this was, but anyway, he listened to it. And I don't know why he listened to Jamie Oliver above me, but he did. And he ordered the pants that Jamie Oliver said were the greatest pants in the world. And he says they are. Wow. What's Jamie Oliver getting involved for? Well, apparently these are Saks pants, right? What? Oh, I'd love to have beef with Jamie Oliver. Hmm. No, a slow roasted beef. A slow roasted beef with Jamie Oliver, please. Yes, please. So Jamie Oliver's pants have a cupping technology. What? They cup. They cup and keep everything in the right place. They have a ball cupping

• 12:47Ant McPartlin?

  technology.

• 12:50Ant McPartlin?

  I shouldn't do that.

• 12:50Declan Donnelly?

  No, don't do that.

• 12:51Ant McPartlin?

  Don't do that. So this fellow dad said to me, you're wrong and I'm right. So I was like, right, the only way we can settle this is if you get me a pair of them pants. I get you a pair of my pants. We wear them.

• 13:02Declan Donnelly?

  Oh God, this is Chris has taken a real turn.

• 13:04Ant McPartlin?

  I'm not wearing somebody else's pants. They're gonna be new pants.

• 13:07Declan Donnelly?

  Are they though?

• 13:08Ant McPartlin?

  Yes.

• 13:08Declan Donnelly?

  He's gonna tell you that.

• 13:09Ant McPartlin?

  Well, I'm gonna see the packaging. I'll insist on seeing the packaging. So I'll wear a pair of his pants, not his pants. I will wear a pair of his recommended pants, the Jamie Oliver pants. He's gonna wear a pair of my recommended pants. And then we'll meet again at the swimming lesson next week and we'll have it out. Well, apparently while it's getting on really well with swimming, I don't see a lot of it. I'm talking about pants most of the time.

• 13:33Declan Donnelly?

  Oh my goodness.

• 13:34Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah. So there you go.

• 13:36Declan Donnelly?

  If you do live overseas.

• 13:37Ant McPartlin?

  Yes.

• 13:38Declan Donnelly?

  Send us an S A E and Ant will personally write back to you. He'll give you an update on his day.

• 13:43Ant McPartlin?

  I'll write the figure.

• 13:44Declan Donnelly?

  He'll tell you what he's been up to.

• 13:47Ant McPartlin?

  I won't add other details.

• 13:49Declan Donnelly?

  Might put on a little bit of lippy and give you a kiss on the.

• 13:51Ant McPartlin?

  No, I won't be doing any of that. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. I've just seen the screen and if you can't see this screen behind me, they've changed it. They're hanging out with Tony Mack and Deck. I'm not a Tony. I'm not a Tony Mack. This is not going any further. All right?

• 14:13Declan Donnelly?

  I love that.

• 14:13Ant McPartlin?

  Okay?

• 14:16Ant McPartlin?

  I'm not Tony. I'm not a Tony. I am not a Tony.

• 14:20Declan Donnelly?

  I don't think I've ever seen a dad before. It looks really good.

• 14:23Ant McPartlin?

  I look like a radio, I look like a local radio DJ.

• 14:26Declan Donnelly?

  And I'm your sidekick.

• 14:26Ant McPartlin?

  Tony Mack and Deck.

• 14:27Declan Donnelly?

  I'm your sidekick.

• 14:28Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah. Hi, Tony Mack and Deck here, counting down the hits from the 90s to noughties.

• 14:35Ant McPartlin?

  We'll be good at that though, I reckon.

• 14:36Declan Donnelly?

  Oh yeah, it'll be good.

• 14:37Ant McPartlin?

  When this is all over, I'll have to do all the hard, heavy lifting. You know, you just chip in every now and again.

• 14:42Declan Donnelly?

  Chip in with it.

• 14:42Ant McPartlin?

  A bit like this.

• 14:45Ant McPartlin?

  This next section is an advert for Google Gemini. Come on, bring out the map. Is that big? Is that map bigger? Is that a bigger map?

• 14:52Declan Donnelly?

  Has it gone bigger?

• 14:53Ant McPartlin?

  No, it's just got smaller. Text got smaller.

• 14:56Declan Donnelly?

  Right, I've got some. Ah, help me with the map, man!

• 15:00Ant McPartlin?

  Okay, man!

• 15:01Declan Donnelly?

  Right, I've got some, a list here of where everybody is listening from.

• 15:04Ant McPartlin?

  Right, I thought I'd get Google Gemini, right? And I thought we could ask Google Gemini a question about each country where people are watching and listening from.

• 15:13Declan Donnelly?

  Good idea!

• 15:14Ant McPartlin?

  Shall we do that? Can I do that?

• 15:15Declan Donnelly?

  He's finally had one. What a good idea. So first up, we have got new listeners in Athens in Greece.

• 15:22Ant McPartlin?

  Athens in Greece.

• 15:23Declan Donnelly?

  Home of the Olympics.

• 15:25Ant McPartlin?

  Yes, yes, I know. Yeah, I know that. Or you're just telling everybody else.

• 15:28Declan Donnelly?

  Have you ever been?

• 15:29Ant McPartlin?

  Have I been to Athens? Yes, I think, and we did go to Athens. Shall I ask Gemini a question?

• 15:35Declan Donnelly?

  Yes, please.

• 15:35Ant McPartlin?

  What would you like to know?

• 15:36Declan Donnelly?

  How can I say hello in Greek? Or, nice, nice to meet you.

• 15:40Ant McPartlin?

  Gemini, how do you say nice to meet you in Greek?

• 15:44Speaker 02

  You can say harika, which is a common and neutral way to say nice to meet you.

• 15:50Ant McPartlin?

  Harika's good.

• 15:51Declan Donnelly?

  Harika.

• 15:52Ant McPartlin?

  Harika, harika to everybody watching in Greece.

• 15:55Declan Donnelly?

  Next on the list is Cambodia.

• 15:58Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, that's a good one.

• 15:59Declan Donnelly?

  Really good. We've got listeners in Cambodia. Oh, there's Cambodia!

• 16:03Ant McPartlin?

  They know, Cambodia!

• 16:04Declan Donnelly?

  Cambodia! Have you ever been?

• 16:07Ant McPartlin?

  I haven't been to Cambodia.

• 16:08Declan Donnelly?

  Me neither. Let's have some interesting facts about Cambodia.

• 16:12Ant McPartlin?

  Okay, Gemini, what language do they speak in Cambodia?

• 16:16Speaker 02

  The official and most widely spoken language, Cambodia, is Khmer. Is there anything else you'd like to know about Cambodia?

• 16:23Ant McPartlin?

  Yes, do they eat bananas in Cambodia?

• 16:26Speaker 02

  Yes, bananas are quite common in Cambodia and enjoyed by many. They're used in various dishes, from desserts to sweet snacks.

• 16:36Ant McPartlin?

  Can you give me which one banana-based dish?

• 16:39Speaker 02

  Certainly. A popular Cambodian dessert is namchak. It's often made with bananas, cooked with coconut milk and sugar, wrapped in banana leaves.

• 16:51Ant McPartlin?

  Gemini, could you just pull up a recipe for that, please? I might make a Cambodian banana-based dish on Taste Mates. Let's each do a banana dessert on Taste Mates.

• 17:01Declan Donnelly?

  We have got new listeners in Ascension Island in the South Atlantic.

• 17:06Ant McPartlin?

  Amazing!

• 17:07Declan Donnelly?

  Have you ever been?

• 17:08Ant McPartlin?

  I've never been.

• 17:08Declan Donnelly?

  I've never been.

• 17:09Ant McPartlin?

  Gemini, what is the largest bird on Ascension Island?

• 17:14Speaker 02

  The largest bird on Ascension Island is the Ascension frigatebird, which has a wingspan of around two metres.

• 17:21Ant McPartlin?

  Two metres?

• 17:22Declan Donnelly?

  Two metres?

• 17:23Ant McPartlin?

  It's nearly as tall as you. We won't be visiting now, will we?

• 17:25Declan Donnelly?

  No, we will not.

• 17:27Ant McPartlin?

  We still would like to stay at some of our viewers' homes for the spin-off series.

• 17:31Declan Donnelly?

  As long as you have an ensuite.

• 17:33Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, as long as you've got a toilet that we can use. You just prefer your own toilet, right?

• 17:36Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah, you just want your own toilet.

• 17:37Ant McPartlin?

  Clean sheets.

• 17:39Declan Donnelly?

  And a turned-down service.

• 17:40Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, exactly. And maybe get a fresh shop in.

• 17:44Ant McPartlin?

  If you don't mind.

• 17:45Declan Donnelly?

  We'll send you a list. We'll send you a rider.

• 17:47Ant McPartlin?

  We'll send you a list of what we eat. Any more?

• 17:49Declan Donnelly?

  We've got listeners in the Philippines.

• 17:52Ant McPartlin?

  Philippines!

• 17:52Declan Donnelly?

  Yay! You ever been?

• 17:54Ant McPartlin?

  I haven't, have you?

• 17:55Declan Donnelly?

  Yes, we have.

• 17:56Ant McPartlin?

  When?

• 17:56Declan Donnelly?

  We went to the Philippines.

• 17:57Ant McPartlin?

  Did we?

• 17:58Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah, we toured there.

• 17:59Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, we did?

• 18:00Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah.

• 18:00Ant McPartlin?

  Yes. I'm thinking of hollybob's, but I hate that word. Why did I just say it?

• 18:06Ant McPartlin?

  I hate that word.

• 18:06Declan Donnelly?

  I didn't have you down as a hollybobber.

• 18:08Ant McPartlin?

  I'm not. I hate that word. Holidays. What? Live, laugh, love. Yeah, it is.

• 18:14Declan Donnelly?

  I didn't have you down as a hollybobber.

• 18:16Ant McPartlin?

  I'm about to stop.

• 18:17Declan Donnelly?

  And finally for today, back to Australia.

• 18:21Ant McPartlin?

  Yes.

• 18:22Declan Donnelly?

  Adelaide!

• 18:23Ant McPartlin?

  Never been.

• 18:24Declan Donnelly?

  I've never been. Gemini, what is the scariest animal found in Adelaide?

• 18:29Speaker 02

  Are you thinking more about venomous or large creatures?

• 18:33Declan Donnelly?

  Large.

• 18:35Speaker 02

  In terms of large animals, you might be thinking of marine life, like sharks.

• 18:40Ant McPartlin?

  Gemini, what are the largest birds in Adelaide?

• 18:45Speaker 02

  The largest birds you're likely to find in Adelaide are the powerful wedge-tailed eagles.

• 18:51Ant McPartlin?

  There you go.

• 18:52Declan Donnelly?

  Amazing. Thank you so much. Keep all of your locations coming in. We'll put you on the listener map just to keep a track of our reach. Come on, Mongolia.

• 19:00Ant McPartlin?

  Come on.

• 19:01Declan Donnelly?

  Get involved.

• 19:02Ant McPartlin?

  Come on. Get involved. You'll love it.

• 19:05Declan Donnelly?

  With Gemini, you can chat with a truly helpful AI assistant.

• 19:08Ant McPartlin?

  You jump in, you can brainstorm ideas, ask for more details. It's cool.

• 19:13Declan Donnelly?

  You can even show it what you're talking about by sharing your screen or your camera.

• 19:17Ant McPartlin?

  Ah, we could do that next week.

• 19:18Declan Donnelly?

  Hmm. It's there for a real chat, not a quick question and then you're done.

• 19:23Ant McPartlin?

  Download the Gemini app on your phone today to unlock the power of Google AI on your phone. Limited supply, setup required, compatibility and availability varies.

• 19:33Declan Donnelly?

  18 plus.

• 19:35Ant McPartlin?

  How's your week been?

• 19:36Declan Donnelly?

  It's been nice. It's been good. Do you know what? I'm full of the joys of spring.

• 19:40Ant McPartlin?

  I can tell.

• 19:41Declan Donnelly?

  Can you?

• 19:41Ant McPartlin?

  Well, you came in with a tail on and ears. So, yeah, had a nice weekend?

• 19:47Declan Donnelly?

  Really nice weekend. So I went away for a couple of days.

• 19:50Ant McPartlin?

  Ah, no you didn't.

• 19:51Declan Donnelly?

  I escaped for a couple of days, as you well know, for a golf weekend.

• 19:55Ant McPartlin?

  With the lads.

• 19:55Declan Donnelly?

  With the lads, which Ant would ordinarily be on.

• 19:58Ant McPartlin?

  This is a golf trip that we've done every year for 20 years.

• 20:01Declan Donnelly?

  It's like 20, 21 years. We've done this and you missed it.

• 20:06Ant McPartlin?

  I know. How was it?

• 20:08Declan Donnelly?

  It was amazing.

• 20:09Ant McPartlin?

  Was it?

• 20:10Declan Donnelly?

  Oh, it was the best one we've ever done.

• 20:11Ant McPartlin?

  Was it? What do you mean?

• 20:14Declan Donnelly?

  No, it was brilliant. It was really good.

• 20:15Ant McPartlin?

  Did you win?

• 20:16Declan Donnelly?

  I came second.

• 20:17Ant McPartlin?

  That's not bad.

• 20:18Declan Donnelly?

  Not bad, not bad. But I literally hadn't played golf for about six months, maybe. Got there and didn't warm up, didn't practise, didn't go to the range.

• 20:30Ant McPartlin?

  That's good. Just like Tiger Woods does it.

• 20:32Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah.

• 20:32Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, just like Rory McIlroy, that's what he does.

• 20:34Declan Donnelly?

  Gonna stick me shoes on in the car park.

• 20:36Ant McPartlin?

  And you bombed it straight down the fairway.

• 20:38Declan Donnelly?

  No, I lost the first ball.

• 20:40Ant McPartlin?

  Did you?

• 20:40Declan Donnelly?

  Sliced it off the tee, into the trees, lost it. Three off the tee, I was on the first hole. But I got better and then we played day two. Day two was the big competition.

• 20:48Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah.

• 20:48Declan Donnelly?

  You know the big competition.

• 20:49Ant McPartlin?

  The Portuguese Open.

• 20:50Declan Donnelly?

  We played for a trophy, but more importantly, we play to avoid a booby prize.

• 20:54Ant McPartlin?

  We do.

• 20:55Declan Donnelly?

  The booby prize is a framed pastel drawing of one of the members.

• 21:01Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, like crayons, pastely crayons, yeah.

• 21:04Declan Donnelly?

  And the worst part about it is...

• 21:05Ant McPartlin?

  It's not a great drawing.

• 21:06Declan Donnelly?

  It's not a great drawing, but it doesn't fit in your hand luggage.

• 21:09Ant McPartlin?

  No.

• 21:09Declan Donnelly?

  It's quite cumbersome.

• 21:10Ant McPartlin?

  If you come last, you've got to carry it around to the next golf event.

• 21:13Declan Donnelly?

  Yes. Thankfully, I managed to avoid it. I came second.

• 21:16Ant McPartlin?

  Okay.

• 21:17Declan Donnelly?

  Avoided the picture.

• 21:17Ant McPartlin?

  Did you win anything for coming second?

• 21:19Declan Donnelly?

  No.

• 21:19Ant McPartlin?

  No.

• 21:20Declan Donnelly?

  There were no prizes this year. Because our chairman wasn't there.

• 21:23Ant McPartlin?

  Ah, who's the chairman? That's, that's not nice. If you're the chairman, you should be there. To hand out prizes.

• 21:28Declan Donnelly?

  You should.

• 21:29Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah. Who's the chairman again?

• 21:30Declan Donnelly?

  It's you.

• 21:30Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, it's me. Me. That's right. Yeah. Sorry. Sorry, guys.

• 21:34Declan Donnelly?

  So, no prizes.

• 21:35Ant McPartlin?

  No prizes.

• 21:35Declan Donnelly?

  No nothing.

• 21:36Ant McPartlin?

  Ah!

• 21:37Declan Donnelly?

  How was your weekend? I had a lovely weekend with the lads.

• 21:38Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah.

• 21:39Declan Donnelly?

  Playing golf in the sun.

• 21:40Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, good.

• 21:40Declan Donnelly?

  A boys, boys weekend.

• 21:42Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, lots, lots of drink was there.

• 21:44Declan Donnelly?

  There was, yeah.

• 21:44Ant McPartlin?

  Pizzas and steak.

• 21:45Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah, pizzas and steak. That's exactly what we had.

• 21:47Ant McPartlin?

  Pizza place you went to?

• 21:48Declan Donnelly?

  Pizza Friday night.

• 21:48Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah.

• 21:49Declan Donnelly?

  Steakhouse Saturday.

• 21:50Ant McPartlin?

  Ah!

• 21:50Declan Donnelly?

  And then down, you know, in the, down by the beach on the Sunday.

• 21:54Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, lovely. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know it well. I know it well. 20 years we've been doing it.

• 21:58Declan Donnelly?

  Yep.

• 21:58Ant McPartlin?

  Couldn't do it this time.

• 21:59Declan Donnelly?

  How was your weekend?

• 22:00Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, quiet. Quiet. Really quiet. Do you know what I did do?

• 22:03Declan Donnelly?

  What?

• 22:03Ant McPartlin?

  I went to a farmer's market on Saturday.

• 22:06Declan Donnelly?

  It's a very middle-aged man thing, isn't it?

• 22:09Ant McPartlin?

  I went on a swimming lesson for Wilder, obviously, as I said.

• 22:12Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah, I was gonna say, you can swim.

• 22:15Ant McPartlin?

  I had a facial.

• 22:17Declan Donnelly?

  Sorry, sorry, what? I thought you said you had a facial.

• 22:19Ant McPartlin?

  I had a facial.

• 22:20Declan Donnelly?

  I can tell, actually.

• 22:21Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, it's a little brighter.

• 22:23Declan Donnelly?

  You do, huh?

• 22:23Ant McPartlin?

  It looks good, right?

• 22:24Declan Donnelly?

  You do.

• 22:24Ant McPartlin?

  And I ended up getting sucked into watching JFK and Love Story.

• 22:30Declan Donnelly?

  Did you love it?

• 22:31Ant McPartlin?

  It's not for me.

• 22:32Declan Donnelly?

  It's not for you, but...

• 22:33Ant McPartlin?

  But it's good, though.

• 22:34Declan Donnelly?

  Oh, I know.

• 22:35Ant McPartlin?

  Guys, it's good.

• 22:35Declan Donnelly?

  I feel a banana rating coming on here.

• 22:37Ant McPartlin?

  Well, my daughter gives it nine bananas.

• 22:40Declan Donnelly?

  You know, that's, that's not allowed.

• 22:41Ant McPartlin?

  Well, I said that. I said, that's, that's not allowed. So she's gone to the top of the banana tree and she's given it eight bananas. My wife gives it a solid five.

• 22:50Declan Donnelly?

  Ooh.

• 22:50Ant McPartlin?

  Possibly six.

• 22:51Declan Donnelly?

  Okay.

• 22:52Ant McPartlin?

  Because we haven't watched the full series.

• 22:53Declan Donnelly?

  Oh, right. So what about your bananas?

• 22:55Ant McPartlin?

  Uh, what about my bananas? Been eating a lot of them. Love them. Oh, yeah, it's a hundred and eight. It's a...

• 22:59Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah, you do.

• 23:00Ant McPartlin?

  Five. It's a five.

• 23:01Declan Donnelly?

  It's a solid five.

• 23:02Ant McPartlin?

  It's a five. Yeah, it's five.

• 23:03Declan Donnelly?

  It's not for you.

• 23:04Ant McPartlin?

  It, it's not for me. No, even though TikTok and Instagram thinks it is for me.

• 23:08Declan Donnelly?

  Right.

• 23:08Ant McPartlin?

  Stop serving me JFK Junior and Love Story pictures. But there you go. That was my weekend. Very quiet.

• 23:15Declan Donnelly?

  Oh.

• 23:15Ant McPartlin?

  Very quiet. You watching anything?

• 23:17Declan Donnelly?

  I finished His and Hers.

• 23:18Ant McPartlin?

  Ah, oh, yeah, come on.

• 23:20Declan Donnelly?

  They still didn't do it for me, I'm afraid.

• 23:22Ant McPartlin?

  What did you think of the whole?

• 23:23Declan Donnelly?

  I didn't get it.

• 23:25Ant McPartlin?

  I thought it was nonsense.

• 23:26Declan Donnelly?

  Well, and also you're like, it's a real stretch.

• 23:29Ant McPartlin?

  Course it's a stretch. That's what ruined it for me.

• 23:31Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah.

• 23:32Ant McPartlin?

  And everyone's going, oh, it was a great twist at the end. No, it wasn't.

• 23:34Declan Donnelly?

  No, it's not. It was a really disappointing twist.

• 23:35Ant McPartlin?

  My banana wilted when that came on. When, when that twist came on, my banana drooped and wilted.

• 23:41Declan Donnelly?

  Again, probably not for me.

• 23:43Ant McPartlin?

  Nah. What are you saying? For thickos?

• 23:45Declan Donnelly?

  No, no, no, no, no. For, for, maybe for more of a female audience.

• 23:50Ant McPartlin?

  Ah, sexy, yes.

• 23:53Declan Donnelly?

  No, it's a four, four banana.

• 23:55Ant McPartlin?

  Four banana. That's the lowest banana rate we've had on the banana rating scale so far.

• 23:59Declan Donnelly?

  It won't be on the poster, will it?

• 24:00Ant McPartlin?

  Do you have your rate, do you rate anything else in bananas now?

• 24:02Declan Donnelly?

  Whenever the current Mrs. Donnelly makes a meal, I go, oh, that's, that's a, that's a straight seven bananas, that one.

• 24:09Ant McPartlin?

  Well done.

• 24:10Declan Donnelly?

  No, it's not. It's chili con carne.

• 24:13Declan Donnelly?

  But yeah, no, I rate everything bananas.

• 24:15Ant McPartlin?

  Good.

• 24:15Declan Donnelly?

  I think, I think we should actually try and promote that. I think we should make a banana rating like an official thing.

• 24:20Ant McPartlin?

  I, I agree.

• 24:21Declan Donnelly?

  So if you're out there now and you, you know, if you're doing anything, if you're rating anything, if you're on TripAdvisor or Airbnb.

• 24:27Ant McPartlin?

  That'd be good.

• 24:28Declan Donnelly?

  Rating anything, you should write your little blurb and then at the end just go like six bananas.

• 24:32Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah. And then send us the picture of it and we'll shorten the pod.

• 24:35Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah.

• 24:35Ant McPartlin?

  That's a good idea.

• 24:36Declan Donnelly?

  Send just, just, people who don't listen to the pod will be very puzzled by everything starting to creep in to being rated by bananas.

• 24:42Ant McPartlin?

  Yes, let's do that.

• 24:44Declan Donnelly?

  If you go onto any website and write your blurb, finish by giving it a banana rating, take a picture and send it to us and we'll show it.

• 24:50Ant McPartlin?

  Bookshops, airlines.

• 24:52Declan Donnelly?

  Anything.

• 24:52Ant McPartlin?

  Hotels, car rental, anything, anything where you can rate things, just rate it in bananas. That's how far I'm rich is.

• 25:03Declan Donnelly?

  See, I knew it would catch on.

• 25:04Ant McPartlin?

  I tell you what, I do give eight bananas to.

• 25:06Declan Donnelly?

  Go on.

• 25:07Ant McPartlin?

  Harry Styles' performance on the Brits.

• 25:08Declan Donnelly?

  Oh, wasn't he good?

• 25:10Ant McPartlin?

  Excellent.

• 25:11Declan Donnelly?

  I really enjoyed the Brits and I thought Harry was brilliant.

• 25:13Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, it was good.

• 25:14Declan Donnelly?

  Eight banana, uh, performers from Harry Styles.

• 25:17Ant McPartlin?

  Jack Whitehall?

• 25:18Declan Donnelly?

  Thought he was eight bananas.

• 25:19Ant McPartlin?

  Good, good, good.

• 25:20Declan Donnelly?

  I thought he was great.

• 25:21Speaker 03

  And Harry's album's out tomorrow.

• 25:22Ant McPartlin?

  Harry's album's out tomorrow. Yes.

• 25:25Declan Donnelly?

  What's it called again?

• 25:26Speaker 03

  Uh, Kiss All The Time.

• 25:27Ant McPartlin?

  Kiss All The Time, Disco Occasionally.

• 25:29Declan Donnelly?

  Disco Occasionally. What a brilliant title.

• 25:31Ant McPartlin?

  Eat bananas all the time, kiss occasionally. That's what, that's how I would change it.

• 25:34Declan Donnelly?

  You would be.

• 25:35Ant McPartlin?

  I do kiss a lot though. I do like kissing. It's one of the things to do. My wife, the same person, I'm not going around just kissing loads of people.

• 25:42Declan Donnelly?

  I thought you were gonna stick one on us there.

• 25:43Ant McPartlin?

  I like kissing. We should kiss more. Not me and you, just people, we should just kiss. Kissing's great. Isn't kissing great? Isn't it though? Remember the first kiss you ever had? And then the kiss has got better as you get older. It's great. Why are you pulling my face?

• 25:57Declan Donnelly?

  I find this a bit icky.

• 25:59Ant McPartlin?

  Talking about kissing?

• 26:00Declan Donnelly?

  Yes.

• 26:00Ant McPartlin?

  Why?

• 26:01Declan Donnelly?

  Just keep it for the bedroom.

• 26:03Ant McPartlin?

  You can't have a kiss just in the bedroom.

• 26:05Declan Donnelly?

  Well, keep it for the kitchen or wherever you do it, but don't broadcast it to everybody.

• 26:10Ant McPartlin?

  Kissing?

• 26:11Declan Donnelly?

  It's a bit icky.

• 26:12Ant McPartlin?

  It's just kissing.

• 26:14Speaker 04

  Harry does.

• 26:14Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, Harry Styles. He kisses.

• 26:17Declan Donnelly?

  He doesn't go on about it. He just names.

• 26:19Ant McPartlin?

  Well, he's named the album, it's.

• 26:20Declan Donnelly?

  Yes, that's fine.

• 26:21Ant McPartlin?

  Let's get Harry Styles on. Harry, if you're listening, please come on the pod and we'll talk about the album. I'll talk about the title of the album. We can talk about kissing.

• 26:30Declan Donnelly?

  You two can get on kissing.

• 26:31Ant McPartlin?

  And Deck can just talk. What would you talk to Harry about?

• 26:33Declan Donnelly?

  I'll tell him about his musical influences. And I want to talk about his tash. How did he grow such a luscious tash? If I've got to start growing this beard, what you reckon you could go a big old bushy tash?

• 26:46Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah.

• 26:46Declan Donnelly?

  Why don't you do it?

• 26:47Ant McPartlin?

  I don't want to steal the thunder from your beard. So let's deal with your beard first, then we'll do my mustache.

• 26:53Declan Donnelly?

  Your mustache would not steal the thunder from my beard.

• 26:54Ant McPartlin?

  I think it might. But we're not doing it on the same day, just to be clear. So you're doing yours first, so we can do a whole episode about it and get into detail. Could get a hair follicle doctor in if that's what we need.

• 27:04Declan Donnelly?

  What for?

• 27:05Ant McPartlin?

  Just to check it's definitely your beard.

• 27:10Ant McPartlin?

  Because I've got a lot of trust issues when it comes to you growing things.

• 27:13Declan Donnelly?

  Don't you worry about that. You can give me a little tug and.

• 27:16Ant McPartlin?

  What?

• 27:18Ant McPartlin?

  Only if I'm pleased with the beard growth.

• 27:24Declan Donnelly?

  Just to prove it's real. Just to prove it's real. Don't you worry.

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• 29:00Declan Donnelly?

  Have you got a new screensaver there? Is that a new screensaver on your phone?

• 29:03Ant McPartlin?

  No, yeah, well, it is a new screensaver.

• 29:05Declan Donnelly?

  Who is that? I haven't got my glasses on. Who is it? Who is it?

• 29:09Ant McPartlin?

  Who is it? It's Ant and Dec.

• 29:11Declan Donnelly?

  What?

• 29:12Ant McPartlin?

  It's Ant and Dec.

• 29:13Declan Donnelly?

  What do you mean? That's not me. That's not me.

• 29:16Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, I know, but it's Ant and Dec.

• 29:19Declan Donnelly?

  Who is it?

• 29:20Ant McPartlin?

  It's Declan Rice. So I was going through my phone, there it is. I was going through my phone the other day and I was like, who's, who's that? And it was, I remember, it was at our golf club again.

• 29:32Declan Donnelly?

  A rise.

• 29:33Ant McPartlin?

  And I saw him and we both laughed because he was like, oh, it's Ant over there. And I was like, oh, it's Dec over there. So then we were like, we're both going to get a photo. So there you go. Look how tall Dec is. Isn't Dec, look, I've never said that in my life. Dec is towering above me.

• 29:48Declan Donnelly?

  For those of you listening, there's a picture of Ant and Declan Rice, arms around each other.

• 29:53Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah.

• 29:54Declan Donnelly?

  Like long lost pals.

• 29:55Ant McPartlin?

  What a lovely guy. Lovely guy.

• 29:57Declan Donnelly?

  Is he the nicest Dec you've ever met?

• 29:59Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, really is. Really nice, the nicest Dec. It's my response to your Andrew Scott photo.

• 30:04Declan Donnelly?

  Oh, you see my Andrew Scott and raise me a Declan Rice?

• 30:07Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, I do. I do. I look very top heavy in that photo. Don't I? I look very, I'm very proud. I'm stood with Declan Rice. I look a bit like Gru. From, to speak up on me. That's what the kids, my girls used to call me that when they were younger. And I was like, oh, why do you call me Gru? This is cute. They say, yeah, because you're very top-heavy. That's not cute.

• 30:29Declan Donnelly?

  That's not cute. That's less cute.

• 30:30Ant McPartlin?

  That is less cute.

• 30:30Declan Donnelly?

  Sometimes you don't want to know the basis.

• 30:32Ant McPartlin?

  Origin of the nickname. You never ask the origin.

• 30:34Declan Donnelly?

  No.

• 30:34Ant McPartlin?

  So there you go.

• 30:36Declan Donnelly?

  I'm happy for you.

• 30:37Ant McPartlin?

  Thanks. Thanks a lot.

• 30:38Declan Donnelly?

  He's got a lovely smile.

• 30:38Ant McPartlin?

  I think we should do this. We should just continue to try and beat each other. So it's one-one. So we're going to score like a football game.

• 30:43Declan Donnelly?

  Right.

• 30:44Ant McPartlin?

  Right. It's like a penalty system.

• 30:45Declan Donnelly?

  Okay.

• 30:46Ant McPartlin?

  So the first of five.

• 30:47Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah.

• 30:47Ant McPartlin?

  And if we come back and we're pictured with someone that not everybody here is impressed with, that is a missed penalty.

• 30:54Declan Donnelly?

  Right.

• 30:55Ant McPartlin?

  So at the minute, you took the first penalty and just got, you scored.

• 30:59Declan Donnelly?

  Top corner.

• 31:00Ant McPartlin?

  I went second.

• 31:01Declan Donnelly?

  Yes.

• 31:01Ant McPartlin?

  With Declan Rice. Top corner, scored.

• 31:04Declan Donnelly?

  Right, okay. So is it back to me?

• 31:06Ant McPartlin?

  It's back to you.

• 31:07Declan Donnelly?

  For my next penalty?

• 31:07Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, take your next, take your next penalty.

• 31:09Declan Donnelly?

  Okay.

• 31:10Ant McPartlin?

  With a celebrity.

• 31:10Declan Donnelly?

  Watch this space.

• 31:13Declan Donnelly?

  Are you ready for this week's slice of diary?

• 31:16Ant McPartlin?

  Yes.

• 31:16Declan Donnelly?

  Shall we go back to 1994?

• 31:18Ant McPartlin?

  Yes, please. Do we have a jingle? Oh, we've got a plane coming in.

• 31:24Ant McPartlin?

  It goes in the face.

• 31:25Declan Donnelly?

  Nearly swallowed that one. We've got an aeroplane here with some information on it.

• 31:30Ant McPartlin?

  This is from Louise. Hey, Ant and Dec, love of the podcast and we watch as a family every week. Last night, our son Noah asked to try out a new hairstyle, the 90s curtains. Asking him where he got the idea from, his answer was Dec's diary picture. Respect, guys. What was your inspiration for the curtains back in the day?

• 31:52Declan Donnelly?

  Oh, now you're asking? I don't think I had an inspiration.

• 31:54Ant McPartlin?

  Well, you must have seen it on People?

• 31:57Declan Donnelly?

  Stone Roses, Happy Mondays.

• 32:00Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah.

• 32:00Declan Donnelly?

  It was that kind of, that's the music that we were into back then. And spiral carpets, that kind of 90s baggy era.

• 32:06Ant McPartlin?

  More questions. I've got more questions.

• 32:07Declan Donnelly?

  Oh, go on.

• 32:08Ant McPartlin?

  What age did they stop? I presume the curtains, they meant what age did the curtains stop?

• 32:13Declan Donnelly?

  They stopped about 1995.

• 32:16Ant McPartlin?

  Why?

• 32:17Declan Donnelly?

  Because.

• 32:19Ant McPartlin?

  I remember why.

• 32:19Declan Donnelly?

  A hairdresser insisted on cutting my hair.

• 32:22Ant McPartlin?

  They did?

• 32:22Declan Donnelly?

  For the eternal love video. I give you my love.

• 32:25Ant McPartlin?

  And decaying it.

• 32:26Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah, I did.

• 32:27Ant McPartlin?

  Is that, do you mind if I just, just trim it a little bit and you went?

• 32:31Declan Donnelly?

  Cut me curtains. In America, they call that the butt cut.

• 32:34Ant McPartlin?

  Why?

• 32:36Declan Donnelly?

  Because it looks like the crack of your butt.

• 32:38Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, the butt cut. Okay, did they?

• 32:41Declan Donnelly?

  That's what Ashley Roberts said. She went, oh my God, you had a butt cut.

• 32:46Declan Donnelly?

  She saw an old picture of me. She went, "Oh my god, you had a butt cut."

• 32:50Ant McPartlin?

  Ass crack.

• 32:53Declan Donnelly?

  No, a butt cut. The ass head.

• 32:57Ant McPartlin?

  Butt head. Butt head! That's who you are!

• 33:00Declan Donnelly?

  Here we go.

• 33:01Ant McPartlin?

  Butt head!

• 33:02Declan Donnelly?

  Here we go.

• 33:03Ant McPartlin?

  So Butt Head, final question. Would you encourage your son to have curtains?

• 33:07Declan Donnelly?

  Definitely.

• 33:08Ant McPartlin?

  You would?

• 33:08Declan Donnelly?

  Happiest time of my life. When I had curtains.

• 33:11Ant McPartlin?

  Your wife and kids will look forward to listening to that. Well done.

• 33:17Declan Donnelly?

  Apart from now.

• 33:19Ant McPartlin?

  Okay, well saved. Well saved. That's all my questions.

• 33:23Declan Donnelly?

  Oh, thank you.

• 33:24Ant McPartlin?

  Shall we play the jingle?

• 33:25Declan Donnelly?

  Yes.

• 33:25Ant McPartlin?

  Here's the jingle.

• 33:26Declan Donnelly?

  This week's jingle?

• 33:29Declan Donnelly?

  I like this already.

• 33:31Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, yeah.

• 33:35Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, it's good. It's really good! That could be a keeper, that. Heather and Chris, that's really good.

• 33:40Declan Donnelly?

  Is that a two man job? Was that a two man job?

• 33:42Ant McPartlin?

  That's not a two man job, is it?

• 33:44Declan Donnelly?

  Heather and Chris?

• 33:44Ant McPartlin?

  Heather and Chris? Who'd done all the heavier lifting? Heather, because her name came first.

• 33:49Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah.

• 33:49Ant McPartlin?

  Well done, Heather.

• 33:50Declan Donnelly?

  Chris was just in the background eating crisps, I reckon.

• 33:52Ant McPartlin?

  All right, and Chris just went, "Dex diary", when Heather's programming and doing everything.

• 33:56Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah. Now, I, controversially, I might skip a week.

• 34:02Ant McPartlin?

  What?

• 34:04Declan Donnelly?

  The 3rd of April 1994

• 34:06Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah.

• 34:06Declan Donnelly?

  was Easter Sunday.

• 34:07Ant McPartlin?

  Okay.

• 34:08Declan Donnelly?

  And we didn't do anything. So shall I give you a flavour of Easter Sunday and then we go straight into Easter Monday?

• 34:12Ant McPartlin?

  Yes. Yes, please.

• 34:13Declan Donnelly?

  So we get a double bubble this week.

• 34:14Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, okay, double bubble. Double bubble off.

• 34:23Ant McPartlin?

  Dex diary.

• 34:25Declan Donnelly?

  3rd of April 1994, day seven of life on the road.

• 34:29Ant McPartlin?

  I'm listening.

• 34:31Declan Donnelly?

  Got up in Portsmouth at 9.30, 10 a.m.

• 34:34Ant McPartlin?

  That's early for you, isn't it? That's, isn't that early?

• 34:38Declan Donnelly?

  And I was knackered. Not surprised. That it says. Set off for Ashford and Kent and arrived for lunch just after 12. It was chart day. Oh, that's exciting. And our manager was waiting for Lettuce's chart position to come through. Less exciting. Not, not ours. Not that bothered. They dropped 11 places from the midlands. That's a shame. Very disappointing. Sorry, Lettuce. I really wanted the lads to do well. Oh, is that what you put? They deserve it. Oh, he did have a heart. Here we go with day eight. The 4th of April, 1994, Bank Holiday Monday. Okay, Bank Holiday Monday edition. Up at 7:45am. On a bank holiday? On a bank holiday. We're living in the upside down. What's going on?

• 35:22Declan Donnelly?

  We get up at 1 o'clock in the afternoon on a normal day and on a bank holiday, we get up at what? 7:45. What the freak? Showered and ready.

• 35:32Declan Donnelly?

  Good. The journey to Alton Towers was short. Well, it was for me. I slept. We arrived amidst rain and snow. Uh, snow? Snowing in Alton Towers on the 4th of April, 1994. Snow in April? We were first on stage at the BRMB Roadshow. Oh, yeah, remember that? The, um, radio station. Yeah. We weren't actually on air. Ah, ah, who's booked us onto that? I don't know. Well, what are we doing it for? Don't know. The same as- I thought we were going to sell you singles, is this? No, we didn't even get a radio play out of it. The same as Two Thirds and Worlds Apart. Worlds Apart weren't on air? Mm. And they were big at the time. Why were we not on air? I don't know. What were you thinking, BRMB? Is it still going, BRMB? No, they folded. Well, that's funny that.

• 36:17Declan Donnelly?

  Not surprised. Weren't playing the hits, were you? They were giving the listeners what they wanted. Left for Hereford after that. Hmm, not the most showbiz place in the world. After that debacle. Get some beef? And got to Marilyn's nightclub. Whoa, this sounds good. Who did we kiss at Marilyn's nightclub? Come on. Bet there was kissing going on. After checking into the hotel, we arrived at Marilyn's after 7pm. The stage was tiny. Oh, what? Now we're such big burly men.

• 36:48Declan Donnelly?

  The stage was tiny, underlined twice, and no radio mics. What? We had to have cables on the microphones. Oh, really? That's dangerous, especially for our dance moves. How do you rumble with cabled mics? No radio mics. Bloody hell.

• 37:10Ant McPartlin?

  Bloody hell!

• 37:12Declan Donnelly?

  No radio lads.

• 37:13Ant McPartlin?

  Hi Gary Barlow.

• 37:13Declan Donnelly?

  Bloody hell!

• 37:14Ant McPartlin?

  Bloody hell! My idea of not a very good day out.

• 37:21Declan Donnelly?

  Oh god, bloody hell. But the crowd were brilliant.

• 37:26Ant McPartlin?

  Oh good, well what do you expect? It's Hereford.

• 37:28Declan Donnelly?

  It's Maryland, it's in Hereford.

• 37:29Ant McPartlin?

  It's in Hereford, come on!

• 37:31Declan Donnelly?

  They screamed their heads off and nearly pulled our pants down.

• 37:35Ant McPartlin?

  Did they?

• 37:35Declan Donnelly?

  They nearly had our pants down, I tell you. The security was rubbish again. I had my hair yanked.

• 37:45Ant McPartlin?

  Your butt cut was yanked?

• 37:46Declan Donnelly?

  I got a butt cut yank.

• 37:50Ant McPartlin?

  It was a good night.

• 37:51Declan Donnelly?

  And Ant nearly had his hat swiped.

• 37:54Ant McPartlin?

  Nearly?

• 37:55Declan Donnelly?

  Nearly.

• 37:55Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, never, never, never take my cap. If you took Pidge's cap, that would have been the end. That was all power.

• 38:03Declan Donnelly?

  Apart from that, they were brilliant.

• 38:06Ant McPartlin?

  Good.

• 38:06Declan Donnelly?

  Our road manager, Dominique, took us for a Chinese meal afterwards and told us all about his bodyguarding and his career.

• 38:14Ant McPartlin?

  I remember that.

• 38:15Declan Donnelly?

  Phew, what stories.

• 38:17Ant McPartlin?

  They were good stories.

• 38:18Declan Donnelly?

  Phew, phew, they must have been good. I can't remember any of them.

• 38:22Ant McPartlin?

  I think I remember a couple.

• 38:23Declan Donnelly?

  Do you?

• 38:23Ant McPartlin?

  I shouldn't really say it here because he's, you know, we had permission.

• 38:27Declan Donnelly?

  They're his stories.

• 38:28Ant McPartlin?

  They're his stories, not my life, it's his life. But he lived, he lived a life, believe me, you wouldn't mess with that kid.

• 38:33Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah. I wonder if he's got Maryland's in Hereford and his stories from life on the road.

• 38:38Ant McPartlin?

  If you ever went to Maryland's or any of the P G and Duncan gigs, get in touch because we do like to hear from you. Did you nearly swipe my cap? Was it you that was the cap thief, potential cap thief? Did you yank Dex's hair? His butt crack? Butt cap? What's it called? Butt cut? Why can't I get it? I just keep thinking of your butt crack. No, not your butt crack. Keep thinking of butt cut. Good episode.

• 38:59Declan Donnelly?

  Good episode. You got a double bubble this week.

• 39:01Ant McPartlin?

  We did get a double. That means we're ticking down the weeks though. It's gonna be over before we know it.

• 39:04Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah, it's gonna be one, one week less.

• 39:06Ant McPartlin?

  That is a shame.

• 39:07Declan Donnelly?

  But enjoy it while it lasts.

• 39:09Ant McPartlin?

  Okay, we will.

• 39:10Declan Donnelly?

  That was this week's.

• 39:18Ant McPartlin?

  Next diary.

• 39:22Ant McPartlin?

  Any letters, any correspondence, anything?

• 39:25Declan Donnelly?

  Thousands upon thousands of people thinking about writing to us. But a few people actually went through with it.

• 39:31Ant McPartlin?

  Did it? Good. Thank you. Thank you very much. Get the postbag. There we go. We're not doing this song this week? No? No?

• 39:38Declan Donnelly?

  No. I'll go first. This one is from John.

• 39:41Ant McPartlin?

  Of course you will.

• 39:41Declan Donnelly?

  Hi, Ant and Dec. As a child who grew up watching SMTV, the postbag dance will be forever ingrained in my memory.

• 39:47Ant McPartlin?

  Can't do it.

• 39:48Declan Donnelly?

  Imagine my horror when watching the show to see you'd got it wrong. Especially when you came up with it. We must have got it wrong last week.

• 39:55Ant McPartlin?

  How did we get it wrong?

• 39:56Declan Donnelly?

  Everyone knows, they probably don't, but I do, he says in brackets, that before it's to one set of arm, one set of points, two rolls, then two in and outs before the spin. If we're gonna do things, can we do them properly? Much love and respect. Yeah. John. P.S.

• 40:13Ant McPartlin?

  No, no, no, no. He does not deserve a P.S. John, that is the level of pinnicky picking that I just can't stand.

• 40:22Declan Donnelly?

  I think he's got a point. I think we did get it wrong.

• 40:24Ant McPartlin?

  Who cares?

• 40:25Declan Donnelly?

  I do. I mean, I came up with the choreography.

• 40:28Ant McPartlin?

  Come on.

• 40:29Declan Donnelly?

  So it's that, that, that, that, that, that.

• 40:32Ant McPartlin?

  That, that.

• 40:33Declan Donnelly?

  That, that, that, that, that, that, that. That, that, that.

• 40:38Ant McPartlin?

  Yes.

• 40:38Declan Donnelly?

  That, that, that.

• 40:40Ant McPartlin?

  That's what we did, didn't we?

• 40:41Declan Donnelly?

  No, we didn't do the rolls. And then it's that.

• 40:44Ant McPartlin?

  I thought there was rolls. I did think there was rolls, to be fair.

• 40:46Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah.

• 40:46Ant McPartlin?

  I think I might have said that. John, you're right. What was his P.S.?

• 40:49Declan Donnelly?

  Can your SMTV Europop band please reunite for Eurovision?

• 40:52Ant McPartlin?

  That's a good idea. Yah, yah, Europop.

• 40:55Declan Donnelly?

  Tingle, tangle, wingle, wangle. Yah, yah, Europop. Na, na, na, na, na.

• 41:00Ant McPartlin?

  Ah, right. I've got one here from Alex. Says, hi, Ant and Dec. My name is Alex. Yeah, we established Alex from Surrey. And my question is, how did you do at school? GCSE grades and that? Only asking because I've got my mocks this week. So can I get a good look? Well, you can. Good luck.

• 41:17Declan Donnelly?

  Good luck, Alex.

• 41:17Ant McPartlin?

  Good luck, Alex. Keep up the good work. Respect, guys. So how did we do in our GCSEs? Okay.

• 41:26Declan Donnelly?

  All right.

• 41:27Ant McPartlin?

  Just okay. Five GCSEs. We've all got each.

• 41:31Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah.

• 41:31Ant McPartlin?

  It's okay.

• 41:32Declan Donnelly?

  Three Bs, two Cs.

• 41:34Ant McPartlin?

  Same here.

• 41:34Declan Donnelly?

  A D. An E.

• 41:37Ant McPartlin?

  And an F. I think we've got exactly the same G C C marks. We did fail maths, had to resit maths. Can't remember now, can you remember?

• 41:48Declan Donnelly?

  I got Bs in English Lit, English Language and O R E.

• 41:53Ant McPartlin?

  Of course you did. Catholic boy.

• 41:55Declan Donnelly?

  Stories of the Saints.

• 41:56Ant McPartlin?

  Are we getting any stories of the Saints this week?

• 41:58Declan Donnelly?

  Oh, I'll tell you what I might do.

• 41:59Ant McPartlin?

  Yes.

• 41:59Declan Donnelly?

  Is, um.

• 42:00Ant McPartlin?

  St Patrick's Day.

• 42:01Declan Donnelly?

  St Patrick's coming up, I'll do St Patrick.

• 42:03Ant McPartlin?

  I've got another one here from Kieran. I didn't mean for you to get so, in capitals, offended by my letter about your missing comma on the Respect Guys t-shirt. It was an easy mistake. To make it up to you, what of Declan's can you send me for my review? If only I could get a hold of his diary, I'd probably rip it to shreds. Yours with a red pen, Kieran. Enough of producers, people have started signing off emails, including the comma in Respect Guys. So, thank you, Kieran.

• 42:35Ant McPartlin?

  So all over the place, that letter, Kieran.

• 42:37Declan Donnelly?

  It is, doesn't it? Grammatically.

• 42:39Ant McPartlin?

  Look, grammatically all over the place. I don't mean, I didn't mean for you to get so offended by my letter about your missing comma on the Respect Guys t-shirt. It was an easy mistake. Passive aggressive. To make it up to you, what of Declan's can you send me for my review?

• 42:57Declan Donnelly?

  Ah, right.

• 42:58Ant McPartlin?

  If only I could get a hold of his diary, I'd probably rip it to shreds. Yours with a red pen, Kieran. That's the end of you on hanging out with Adam Deck. Watch, listen, don't correspond.

• 43:12Ant McPartlin?

  Don't you think? Do we need that?

• 43:14Declan Donnelly?

  I.

• 43:15Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, do you think we should always welcome constructive criticism?

• 43:17Declan Donnelly?

  I think we should always welcome constructive criticism. I think we should welcome it.

• 43:21Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah.

• 43:23Declan Donnelly?

  We've had more tattoos in for you as well.

• 43:25Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, please, yes.

• 43:26Declan Donnelly?

  Obviously, the day is drawing closer when Anna's gonna go under the knife and.

• 43:31Ant McPartlin?

  Under the knife?

• 43:32Declan Donnelly?

  And get a tattoo.

• 43:33Ant McPartlin?

  Do you know how tattoos work?

• 43:34Declan Donnelly?

  No, no idea.

• 43:35Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, is it?

• 43:36Declan Donnelly?

  Is it?

• 43:37Ant McPartlin?

  Under the knife?

• 43:37Declan Donnelly?

  I thought it was an operation.

• 43:38Ant McPartlin?

  No, no, no.

• 43:39Declan Donnelly?

  That day is drawing closer, but we need to design.

• 43:42Ant McPartlin?

  We do.

• 43:42Declan Donnelly?

  What am I gonna draw on your body?

• 43:44Ant McPartlin?

  What do you have on your?

• 43:45Declan Donnelly?

  No, your.

• 43:46Ant McPartlin?

  You're not doing it.

• 43:46Declan Donnelly?

  I think I am.

• 43:47Ant McPartlin?

  No, you're not doing it. That's not a thing. That wasn't part, that wasn't part of the agreement. That you're doing it. You can do a bit of it, I said.

• 43:53Declan Donnelly?

  So we've had, we've had lots of design ideas.

• 43:57Ant McPartlin?

  Okay.

• 43:57Declan Donnelly?

  We've got some very special ones this week from members of the team.

• 44:01Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, God.

• 44:02Declan Donnelly?

  They've got ideas for us to put in the melting pot, that great melting pot of tattoo ideas that we're gonna look to put on your body at some point. Would you have lettering? Would you have lettering?

• 44:13Ant McPartlin?

  No.

• 44:13Declan Donnelly?

  Not on your knuckles?

• 44:14Ant McPartlin?

  Of course not.

• 44:16Declan Donnelly?

  Right, so if you're just listening, we've got some knuckles here.

• 44:18Ant McPartlin?

  I can't have that.

• 44:19Declan Donnelly?

  With R E S P E C T, comma, and then back to the second finger of the right hand for the G U, and then on the left hand will be the Y S on the first and second fingers.

• 44:33Ant McPartlin?

  Well, you're not gonna, you're not gonna always walk around like that, are you, with both hands like that? So if I was just gonna, you just saw one hand, then you just think my hand said, resp, resp goo. Resp goo?

• 44:44Declan Donnelly?

  But I think that's-

• 44:44Ant McPartlin?

  And then someone says, ectos.

• 44:45Declan Donnelly?

  I think that's a fantastic conversation starter.

• 44:47Ant McPartlin?

  Why? I don't need it.

• 44:49Declan Donnelly?

  Well, you do. You're not very good at small talk.

• 44:51Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, I don't like small talk. Yeah, that's a good point, actually.

• 44:53Declan Donnelly?

  So that's a good conversation starter. People go, oh, what's your tattoo? And then you pull up both hands, you go, it's respectful.

• 44:58Ant McPartlin?

  Right, guys.

• 44:59Declan Donnelly?

  And then you, and then it flows. What have you been up to this week? How's work?

• 45:03Ant McPartlin?

  No.

• 45:04Declan Donnelly?

  You're not feeling a lettering on the knuckles?

• 45:05Ant McPartlin?

  I, I like the fact that it's a, it's a talking point.

• 45:08Declan Donnelly?

  Right.

• 45:08Ant McPartlin?

  That's quite good.

• 45:09Declan Donnelly?

  Yeah.

• 45:09Ant McPartlin?

  And I like the fact it's got, uh, the history of, of the show.

• 45:14Declan Donnelly?

  Yes.

• 45:14Ant McPartlin?

  And there's a story there. Always like a tattoo with a story and reason. But I didn't really think I would get me hands tattoos.

• 45:21Declan Donnelly?

  Right. Okay, that's fine. As long as you know, it's all useful. Now, on the left here-

• 45:27Ant McPartlin?

  Is that you as a banana?

• 45:28Declan Donnelly?

  That is me as a banana.

• 45:29Ant McPartlin?

  No, that's not gonna happen.

• 45:30Declan Donnelly?

  No? Even a small banana? It is quite cute.

• 45:33Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, yeah. Yes, you're very cute as a banana, Dave. We all know that. I always imagined you would be cute as a banana.

• 45:39Declan Donnelly?

  And I've given you a little wave. If you, if you can't see this, if you're just listening, it's a, a half peeled banana.

• 45:44Ant McPartlin?

  A topless deck. It's a topless deck popping out of a half peeled banana with his glasses on.

• 45:51Declan Donnelly?

  Giving a little wave.

• 45:52Ant McPartlin?

  Giving a little wave. And what's the story behind that?

• 45:54Declan Donnelly?

  It's me as a banana.

• 45:58Declan Donnelly?

  We're

• 46:00Declan Donnelly?

  but I can definitely see them because I'm wearing my glasses.

• 46:02Ant McPartlin?

  Okay, good. We need to do like a list. We need to do like a top five where we where we have a running top five.

• 46:09Declan Donnelly?

  Of our favourite things.

• 46:10Ant McPartlin?

  And then we whittle them down.

• 46:11Declan Donnelly?

  Okay, we can definitely do that.

• 46:13Ant McPartlin?

  Can I show you mine?

• 46:14Declan Donnelly?

  Yes, please. Got it.

• 46:15Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, she's got me again. In the guts this time.

• 46:19Declan Donnelly?

  Got a little aeroplane coming here. Ooh.

• 46:23Declan Donnelly?

  This is good. This is good, Jemima.

• 46:26Ant McPartlin?

  Thank you.

• 46:27Declan Donnelly?

  I love it. Now, this utilizes your own body hair. So that would be under your arm. There'd be a little face under your arm and the hair would be your actual armpit hair. So you'd lift up your arm like that and see the face and then your hairy armpit. He likes it. He likes it, you know.

• 46:47Ant McPartlin?

  That is fun. That is quite fun. My wife will kill me if I've got that, which is part of the reason I think we should keep it top five.

• 46:54Declan Donnelly?

  Okay. And we can we can talk about the design of the face.

• 46:58Ant McPartlin?

  Okay, yeah.

• 46:59Declan Donnelly?

  But we let that as an idea.

• 47:00Ant McPartlin?

  As a concept, that's a pretty good concept.

• 47:03Declan Donnelly?

  We've got one more to look at.

• 47:04Ant McPartlin?

  Whoa, bad shot, Fiona.

• 47:07Declan Donnelly?

  Oh, this is very good.

• 47:09Ant McPartlin?

  It's practical. Who's this from? Me. From Fiona?

• 47:12Declan Donnelly?

  This is Fiona's.

• 47:13Ant McPartlin?

  She normally hates me.

• 47:15Declan Donnelly?

  She hates you.

• 47:16Ant McPartlin?

  She doesn't like me that much.

• 47:16Declan Donnelly?

  So this, again, is very good for conversation starters. So it is an actual

• 47:24Declan Donnelly?

  actual tattooed badge, which you'd have on your chest.

• 47:27Ant McPartlin?

  My name is Ant.

• 47:28Declan Donnelly?

  Just go, hello, my name is. And then have written in the gap, Ant. It's quite good, though.

• 47:33Ant McPartlin?

  That is quite good.

• 47:34Declan Donnelly?

  For people knowing which one's which.

• 47:35Ant McPartlin?

  Yeah, it is.

• 47:36Declan Donnelly?

  And that's about all we've got time for this week.

• 47:38Ant McPartlin?

  That is?

• 47:38Declan Donnelly?

  That's all we've got time for.

• 47:39Ant McPartlin?

  Oh, what a shame. What a shame.

• 47:41Declan Donnelly?

  Um, I have really enjoyed this.

• 47:43Ant McPartlin?

  Good.

• 47:44Declan Donnelly?

  Lovely. Good to see you.

• 47:45Ant McPartlin?

  Good to see you too. Nice to have some mail chat.

• 47:47Declan Donnelly?

  Good to see you. Good to see you.

• 47:48Ant McPartlin?

  All right, great to see you.

• 47:49Declan Donnelly?

  Um, keep all your correspondence coming in, hanging out at beltabox.com, all your tattoos, all of your, um, letters for the postbag, jingles, anything at all you want.

• 47:59Ant McPartlin?

  Anything. We'll read it out and we'll do it.

• 48:01Declan Donnelly?

  Give us a review and a follow wherever you're getting your podcasts from.

• 48:05Ant McPartlin?

  And review things in bananas.

• 48:07Declan Donnelly?

  Yes, banana reviews. And don't forget to subscribe to the Belterbox channel, YouTube.

• 48:12Ant McPartlin?

  Well done. That's it. Uh, thank you very much. All that's left for us to say is

• 48:17Declan Donnelly?

  Respect, guys.

• 48:18Ant McPartlin?

  See you next time.

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