Pretty Little Episode #40

Mae and Tig chat about superstitions and the positives of a difficult time (middle school!) on the prettiest, littlest episode yet! Handsome is hosted by Tig Notaro, Mae Martin, and Fortune FeimsterSubmit questions to speakpipe.com/handsomepod http://speakpipe.com/handsomepodFollow us on social media @handsomepodMerch at handsomepod.com http://handsomepod.com/Watch Handsome on YouTube http://youtube.com/@handsomepodThis is a Headgum https://headgum.com/ podcast. Follow Headgum on Twitter https://x.com/headgum, Instagram https://www.instagram.com/headgum/, and Tiktok https://www.tiktok.com/@headgum. Advertise on Handsome https://gumball.fm/shows/handsome via Gumball.fm http://gumball.fm/. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:01Speaker 00

  This is a HeadGum Podcast.

• 0:04Mae Martin?

  Checking Allstate first could save you hundreds on car insurance. Not checking whether I brought my sunglasses before driving west at the end of the day? A learning moment. I'm gaining confidence in my driving, but it helps when I'm not blinded by the sun beaming directly into my eyeballs.

• 0:18Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, checking first is handsome, so check Allstate first for an auto quote. It could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate. Potential savings vary, subject to terms, conditions, and availability. Allstate North American Insurance Company and Affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois.

• 0:35Mae Martin?

  Checking Allstate first could save you hundreds on car insurance. Not checking the program before sitting down to enjoy a school play? I'm in shambles. Turns out there's no intermission during this three-hour Shakespeare adaptation, and I really need to go to the bathroom.

• 0:48Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, checking first is handsome, so check Allstate first for an auto quote. It could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate. Potential savings vary, subject to terms, conditions, and availability. Allstate North American Insurance Company and Affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois.

• 1:03Mae Martin?

  Handsome is brought to you by Squarespace. Squarespace is the all-in-one platform designed to help you stand out and succeed online with a handy, handsome website you can be proud of and show off to all your friends, clients, and loved ones. With Squarespace, you can scale up your business, claim your domain, and showcase your offerings with a premium, professional website.

• 1:21Fortune Feimster?

  With Squarespace's cutting-edge design tools, you can build a gorgeous online presence that perfectly fits your brand or business. Their SEO tools help your ideal audience find you. Since every dream needs a domain, Squarespace makes it easy to find the best name for your business at one fair, all-inclusive price. No hidden fees, no required add-ons. Squarespace offers countless extras like built-in donation tools for fundraising, and online payments and invoicing to help you get paid on time. Squarespace makes it easy. So easy, we even made a handsome website ourselves in less than 20 minutes.

• 1:53Mae Martin?

  So what are you waiting for? Get started on your dream website today. Head to Squarespace.com/handsome for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, use offer code HANSOME to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.

• 2:17Tig Notaro?

  Pretty little episode.

• 2:19Mae Martin?

  Welcome to a pretty little episode of the handsome pod. I'm one of your hosts, Mae Martin, joined by the handsome.

• 2:26Tig Notaro?

  Tig Notaro. It's me, May.

• 2:31Mae Martin?

  It's me, Tig.

• 2:33Tig Notaro?

  Hey.

• 2:34Mae Martin?

  Hey.

• 2:35Tig Notaro?

  I see you're still in Toronto.

• 2:36Mae Martin?

  Yep, still here, still here in my parents' basement.

• 2:39Tig Notaro?

  Oh, you're at your parents?

• 2:41Mae Martin?

  Not in this moment, but I sleep in their basement. Yeah. And they have a Murphy bed and they love that Murphy bed, man.

• 2:48Tig Notaro?

  I love a Murphy bed. You don't like a Murphy bed?

• 2:51Mae Martin?

  No, I love it too, but not the way they love it. Like, they are just electrified.

• 2:57Tig Notaro?

  Tell me.

• 2:58Mae Martin?

  Oh, they're just like, we unfolded the Murphy bed and, you know, when you're not here, we fold it up.

• 3:05Tig Notaro?

  Well, isn't that just letting you know that the Murphy bed is down or up? Is that really, truly a love affair with a Murphy bed?

• 3:14Mae Martin?

  It's the look on their face that they are electrified.

• 3:17Tig Notaro?

  Let me see the look. Hmm?

• 3:20Mae Martin?

  Hmm? It's like that sparkly.

• 3:22Tig Notaro?

  And is it comfortable, the Murphy bed?

• 3:25Mae Martin?

  It's super comfortable and it's like a sensory deprivation chamber down there in the basement. It's like no light, no sound, and just kind of, on the wall, they have framed my Shiatsu massage diploma, like their proudest moment.

• 3:40Tig Notaro?

  I forgot about that.

• 3:42Mae Martin?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 3:43Tig Notaro?

  Is that your choice that you sleep in the basement on the Murphy bed? Is there another room? Is this, is this the house you grew up in?

• 3:53Mae Martin?

  No, it's their, it's, they only got it like 15 years ago and it's, it's the only, it's the only room. I think I could get a hotel, but it feels, it's been nice. I've been in Toronto like once a month doing this at it and it's, it's been nice, eating home-cooked food and like. You know, talking about the Murphy bed. My dad, oh my God, he's such a good cook.

• 4:14Tig Notaro?

  What's his specialty?

• 4:15Mae Martin?

  British food. So roasts and um, but he'll like a nice piece of fish that he'll just cook it so well. And he does like roasted broccoli that that is really nice. I'm not making it sound good, but he really is.

• 4:29Tig Notaro?

  Listen, I am a huge broccoli fan.

• 4:32Mae Martin?

  Me too, Tig. And isn't it crazy how when you roast it, Tig, it uh,

• 4:37Tig Notaro?

  Yes, May.

• 4:38Mae Martin?

  Takes on a whole new flavor, Tig.

• 4:41Tig Notaro?

  Um, roasting will do that. Um, and then are you, do you enjoy cauliflower or are you like,

• 4:49Mae Martin?

  Yes, I love.

• 4:50Tig Notaro?

  Okay.

• 4:51Mae Martin?

  Love cauliflower.

• 4:53Tig Notaro?

  We have found a common, um.

• 4:58Mae Martin?

  A common ground?

• 4:59Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, common ground, like a food. Yeah, finally, we can talk. Um, no, I just, I feel like broccoli gets such a bad rap. You know, maybe it's just for children that maybe, maybe I'm just hanging out in the world of small children. I mean, my kids like broccoli, but I do feel like people are like, eh, you know, I like, I was just um, at a dinner a few nights ago and part of the dinner was broccoli and I looked around. So many people push their broccoli to the side.

• 5:33Mae Martin?

  Are you serious? Come on, guys, grow up.

• 5:36Tig Notaro?

  And I was gonna say, and these were adults and I, I truly wanted to be like, can I have your broccoli? Like, are you really not gonna eat? To me, that is yum yum stuff.

• 5:48Mae Martin?

  It's the classic veg. And, and also, um, I feel like now in restaurants and stuff like you're, you never get just a side of broccoli. It's always broccolini or like something special. I just want your standard brock. I want like.

• 6:02Tig Notaro?

  I don't have a problem with broccolini. I'll be honest with you. You have a hang up on broccolini?

• 6:07Mae Martin?

  No, I like it too, but I just, I love a hearty, a hearty head of brock.

• 6:12Tig Notaro?

  Yeah. Do you like it, uh, raw? Ever?

• 6:15Mae Martin?

  Sure, sure. I'd have it raw.

• 6:16Tig Notaro?

  Yeah. You don't care. You just want your broccoli. Yeah.

• 6:20Mae Martin?

  Yeah. And then now Brussels sprouts very trendy in restaurants.

• 6:24Tig Notaro?

  Oh, yes. Yeah.

• 6:25Mae Martin?

  Yeah, roasted sprouts.

• 6:27Tig Notaro?

  And have we talked about this, but the, the majority of the nutritional content is in the stem of broccoli?

• 6:35Mae Martin?

  Okay, that rings a bell, but it's all, it's blown my mind again. If that's, if you've already told me that, that's crazy because you'd think that the, the darkest green would be.

• 6:43Tig Notaro?

  It's not true. It is the, yep, it's the stem there. So eat your broccoli stems.

• 6:50Mae Martin?

  Eat your broccoli stems.

• 6:51Tig Notaro?

  Yes, morning fruit. Is that what you were referencing is morning fruit?

• 6:57Mae Martin?

  Morning fruit.

• 6:57Tig Notaro?

  I think I wrote a hit song.

• 6:59Mae Martin?

  Yeah, I think you did too. I've had people come up to me after shows and sing your song about morning fruit.

• 7:05Tig Notaro?

  Wow. And then speaking of hit songs, how's your music going?

• 7:10Mae Martin?

  Oh, thanks. Good. Thanks. Yeah. I got two new songs coming out actually soon, which would be like a like in June and it would be like a deluxe edition of the album that I already

• 7:19Tig Notaro?

  Oh.

• 7:20Mae Martin?

  I think this is like the way they do it to trick you into thinking the album sales have been better. They go, oh, we put, buy the album again with these two new songs. I shouldn't be saying this, but anyway, they're, they're two more recent songs.

• 7:34Tig Notaro?

  Okay. So you did write them after. It wasn't something you held on to and then later decided to release?

• 7:40Mae Martin?

  No, I wrote them after. Yeah. I'm loving writing music right now.

• 7:44Tig Notaro?

  And is there anything, um, that inspired these two new songs?

• 7:49Mae Martin?

  Well, they're kind of breakup-y songs, but not necessarily about my breakup, just general. But then the other day I was writing-

• 7:56Tig Notaro?

  God, I hope they're not about my breakup.

• 7:58Mae Martin?

  They're about your breakup.

• 8:01Tig Notaro?

  No, no.

• 8:03Mae Martin?

  I was playing the piano the other day and I thought, God, I'm, I'm really playing a beautiful song. And then I realized it was the song Beautiful by Christina Aguilera. And I was just stealing it.

• 8:12Tig Notaro?

  And you were literally playing a beautiful song?

• 8:15Mae Martin?

  Pretty much. Yeah. Yeah. I was like, wow.

• 8:17Tig Notaro?

  It's called Beautiful.

• 8:18Mae Martin?

  Yeah, I know. And it was, that song was written by, um,

• 8:22Tig Notaro?

  Linda Perry.

• 8:23Mae Martin?

  Yes, Tig. See, we are, we are common ground today. Broccoli and Linda Perry.

• 8:29Tig Notaro?

  That's right.

• 8:31Tig Notaro?

  Linda Perry lives in my neighborhood and I

• 8:33Mae Martin?

  Really?

• 8:34Tig Notaro?

  We shuffle pa- yeah, yeah. We shuffle. Maybe she moved because her, I think she had a breakup song in her life a few years ago. So maybe, um, yeah, when she and Sarah Gilbert split. I think Sarah

• 8:49Mae Martin?

  Oh my God, I forgot.

• 8:51Tig Notaro?

  in the neighborhood and Linda, Linda hit the road. Maybe. I don't know. I'm making that up. My apologies, Linda and Sarah, if anybody's listening or if anyone knows them. I will tell you, an awkward thing that happened. Um, Stephanie recently said, I saw this very beautiful home for sale online. And she said, after we drop Max and Finn, would you have any interest in driving past it? Not like we're looking to move or anything.

• 9:19Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 9:20Tig Notaro?

  And she said, I think it's the most beautiful home I've ever seen.

• 9:23Mae Martin?

  Whoa.

• 9:24Tig Notaro?

  I said, sure. We drop off our little Cubs. We go find the house. It is eight in the morning and we pull into a cul-de-sac. And who is pulling out of the driveway of the most beautiful home is Sarah Gilbert.

• 9:39Mae Martin?

  No.

• 9:39Tig Notaro?

  And, and it, I think she saw us, we saw her, and it was just this awkward feeling of like, good morning, Sarah.

• 9:48Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 9:48Tig Notaro?

  You know, like, uh,

• 9:50Mae Martin?

  We're scoping her.

• 9:51Tig Notaro?

  but we don't know her well enough to where we've been to her home.

• 9:55Mae Martin?

  That's so funny.

• 9:56Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, it was so, I don't know if I can quite explain the awkwardness of that early in the morning, being trapped on a, on a cul-de-sac just with early morning lesbians not knowing quite why.

• 10:10Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 10:10Tig Notaro?

  Maybe she was like, oh, maybe Tig and, um, and, uh, Stephanie are interested in my home. But that all goes back to Linda Perry. I feel like Sarah stayed in the, uh, in the neighborhood and Linda, now that I think about it, I probably haven't seen her in the past year.

• 10:24Mae Martin?

  I would, if I left my house at 8:00 AM and I saw you and Stephanie parked in a car across the street like vultures, I would be like,

• 10:32Tig Notaro?

  Well, we weren't parked in the car across the street. We were just looping around the cul-de-sac.

• 10:37Mae Martin?

  Okay, okay, okay. That I can, I would explain away. Tig, would you ever, like, do you ever get inspired to write poetry? Like, do, like, do you have a sort of notebook in your bag and you might write down ideas, but then also once in a while you'd write down a little, couple of lines of poetry?

• 10:54Tig Notaro?

  I used to write poetry when I was a kid, you know, when I was a teen in my early twenties and that whole time. And boy, I've come across, I've come across those poems. And I don't think that's my strength.

• 11:13Mae Martin?

  Right.

• 11:13Tig Notaro?

  I really don't.

• 11:15Mae Martin?

  I would love if you ghost wrote a song for me, like you send me the lyrics.

• 11:19Tig Notaro?

  Well, what about Mornin' Fruit?

• 11:24Tig Notaro?

  Would you release Mornin' Fruit?

• 11:27Mae Martin?

  And do I have to do the accent?

• 11:29Tig Notaro?

  Of course.

• 11:30Mae Martin?

  Yeah, yeah. Would I release it? I think you could sell it to an ad company and make a billion bucks. It's like an ad for, I don't know, oranges or something.

• 11:41Tig Notaro?

  Okay, anyone listening that you need a jingle that goes a little like, Mornin' Fruit, Mornin' Fruit, don't forget to eat your Mornin' Fruit. Go on, chime in.

• 11:56Mae Martin?

  That rendition was so good.

• 12:00Tig Notaro?

  Ah, I'm one of the best out there.

• 12:02Mae Martin?

  One of the all time greats.

• 12:04Tig Notaro?

  I'm not, I'm not a poem writer.

• 12:07Mae Martin?

  Here, you say a line and then I'll do the rhyming couplet.

• 12:12Tig Notaro?

  Okay, I love a couplet.

• 12:14Mae Martin?

  A line of poetry.

• 12:15Tig Notaro?

  Okay. Sometimes I think of you.

• 12:21Mae Martin?

  Wow.

• 12:24Mae Martin?

  But then I remember the things you do.

• 12:27Tig Notaro?

  Ah, see? Yeah. And is that the end?

• 12:31Mae Martin?

  Yep. That's like a hiker. That's a breakup hiker.

• 12:34Tig Notaro?

  I'll be honest, that is the first line of a poem of mine from my childhood that I came across where I said, sometimes I think of you, but then again, I always do.

• 12:46Mae Martin?

  Wait, that's beautiful. Why are you second guessing yourself? That's so much better than, because there's something so nice about being like, sometimes, and then the reveal is always.

• 12:57Tig Notaro?

  Always. You're always on my mind, as Billy Nelson once said.

• 13:01Mae Martin?

  Yeah. Uh, should we hear what our listeners want to know?

• 13:05Tig Notaro?

  I think we should. Just, that will make this whole episode make sense.

• 13:12Speaker 04

  Hi, handsome pod. My name is Kamala. I am a middle school music teacher. And my question for you is, I'd like you to think back to your middle school years. Think like ages 11 to 14 and share one really positive thing that came out of those years. I know there's probably a lot of negative things that come to mind for obvious reasons. But speaking as someone who deals with middle schoolers all day, every day, there is actually a lot of joy and positivity in those years as well. Bonus question, what is something you thought was really fashionable? Or like a funny hairstyle that you now look back on and think, what was I thinking?

• 13:45Mae Martin?

  Hmm. Middle school teachers, that's doing the Lord's work.

• 13:51Tig Notaro?

  Hmm, truly, though.

• 13:52Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 13:53Tig Notaro?

  I mean, any teacher, whether it's like even a, you know, daycare, elementary, junior high, high school, college, like swim instructors. When I sit, you know, my kids learn to swim at their school.

• 14:09Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 14:10Tig Notaro?

  And I cannot, I mean, all the kids talking, laughing, you know, kind of floating away and not paying attention. And, and the teachers that are so patiently wrangling everyone and keep, I'm just like, how do you do what you do? How?

• 14:33Mae Martin?

  I know. I mean, think about how exhausted we are after we like do a show and have a meeting in a day. And these people are on their feet, teaching hordes of children. Like, it's unreal.

• 14:49Mae Martin?

  And middle school, shepherding people through puberty and, oh my God, yeah, wow. That was a very visceral time for me.

• 14:57Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, those are the worst times of my life.

• 15:01Mae Martin?

  Maybe me too.

• 15:03Tig Notaro?

  You know, if I can cheat a little bit here and just bump it up a year.

• 15:09Mae Martin?

  Okay.

• 15:10Tig Notaro?

  And get me into high school, I'll say that my vice principal saved my life.

• 15:16Mae Martin?

  Really?

• 15:17Tig Notaro?

  Saved my life.

• 15:18Mae Martin?

  Yeah, I think you've mentioned this person who just kind of saw you and.

• 15:22Tig Notaro?

  Mm hmm. Yeah, yeah. And I wrote about her. I was asked to write, what is it? Richard Pryor's book. His book was reissued and they, his family asked me to write a little something beforehand. And, and somewhere in there, I talked about my vice principal because she, yeah. As you said, saw me, took an interest, didn't just, when I was in trouble or sent to the office, didn't just

• 15:57Tig Notaro?

  discipline me and then, you know.

• 15:59Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 16:00Tig Notaro?

  Shrug me off.

• 16:01Mae Martin?

  Something was going on.

• 16:02Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, she just really took time and, and investigated what was going on with me. And, and it kind of made me realize like, wow, there was a lot going, there's a lot going on here. And I haven't talked to her in a couple of years, but we've remained in contact.

• 16:22Mae Martin?

  That's so nice.

• 16:23Tig Notaro?

  I feel very, very lucky.

• 16:25Mae Martin?

  I'm thinking what's coming to my mind is Mrs. Silver, my, my music and drama teacher. And yeah, I was a wreck in middle school and, and kind of, kind of bullied, but just, but I had one friend called Laura. I mean, I had, I had lots of friends, but she and I would get like hysterical laughter fits in a way that I never have since. Like where we thought we were going to die. And there was one day where, first of all, she peed herself in the snow. Trying to, maybe we'll bleep out her last name, but she was laughing so hard that she, and she sat down in the snow. And I was like, we gotta go, we gotta get to class. We were crying laughing about, like about nonsense.

• 17:05Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, yeah, sure.

• 17:06Mae Martin?

  And she was like, I can't. And then eventually stood up and there was a yellow patch in the snow. But anyway, that, and then we had to wash our tights.

• 17:14Tig Notaro?

  Eat that snow, did you?

• 17:15Mae Martin?

  I did not eat that snow.

• 17:17Tig Notaro?

  People definitely getting the word out not to eat yellow snow.

• 17:20Mae Martin?

  Yes, one million percent.

• 17:22Tig Notaro?

  Mm hmm.

• 17:23Mae Martin?

  But we went to to music class and yeah, I was in a lot of trouble all the time, never did my homework, always getting kicked out or suspended.

• 17:30Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 17:31Mae Martin?

  So we were in music class and this hysteria took over and we could not stop. And I always remember Mrs. Silver was like one of the only teachers who found us funny and was like reluctantly disciplining us, but was like, found us kind of funny.

• 17:44Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 17:45Mae Martin?

  On that particular day, she just went, mate, and Laura, just go, go in the hall and laugh until you're done laughing. Like, like she wasn't mad. She was just like, if you, you guys need to just go get this out.

• 17:57Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 17:58Mae Martin?

  We just went and sat outside the classroom and laughed and it was just so nice. Carla Silver, she, we were, we were in touch a little bit, I think a couple of emails, but if she's listening, she really was great, like encouraging me to do music and stuff, too.

• 18:13Tig Notaro?

  Carla?

• 18:14Mae Martin?

  Carla.

• 18:15Tig Notaro?

  Oh, that's nice.

• 18:16Mae Martin?

  Carla Silver. She was kind of a rebel in the school. Like it was a, it was an angle kind private school and, and I don't know, I could tell she was sort of misunderstood. She was a rebel.

• 18:26Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, sure.

• 18:27Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 18:28Tig Notaro?

  Man, we see you rebels.

• 18:30Mae Martin?

  We see you.

• 18:31Tig Notaro?

  And also, you know, as far as fashion, I, I think this might have been before your time, but, but I really don't know. I'm not the one sitting here in a flannel telling anybody about fashion, but were you at the bottom of your jeans or pants, you fold it over and then roll your pants up?

• 18:49Mae Martin?

  Oh, yeah. I mean, I still do that.

• 18:51Tig Notaro?

  Oh, you do? Okay.

• 18:52Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 18:52Tig Notaro?

  Okay, that was.

• 18:54Mae Martin?

  You were rolling.

• 18:55Tig Notaro?

  That was very popular in the eighties to like do that, make it tighter and then flip it over.

• 19:01Mae Martin?

  I guess my fashion thing was I had long hair in middle school for the only time in my life and it was slicked back into a ponytail and then I had two pieces just hanging down, framing my face and I would put gel in them and they were like crispy.

• 19:15Tig Notaro?

  Oh, that's a good look.

• 19:17Mae Martin?

  Should we hear Kamala's answer?

• 19:19Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, we should definitely hear that.

• 19:21Speaker 04

  My thing that I took out of those years that was the best was like, I made my first like real friends, like friends that I was like, these are my people finally, like really connected. And I think my personality comes from those friendships in middle school. Um, and bonus answer, I had a beautiful, sweet granola mom who just did not tell me that I needed to be wearing a bra. So I was flopping around for way too long. Looking forward to hearing your answer.

• 19:47Tig Notaro?

  Well, she came to the right two hosts about flopping around.

• 19:52Mae Martin?

  I, I didn't wear a bra till, I should have been wearing one and I wore like a cross body bag. So the strap would go between my pointy little boobs and they would just be, oh God, yeah.

• 20:03Tig Notaro?

  I don't know. Where are your boobs these days?

• 20:06Mae Martin?

  Probably near the dumpster that yours are in.

• 20:09Tig Notaro?

  Okay. Well, cause mine, you know, they hold on to for, for tumor reasons. So.

• 20:16Mae Martin?

  Do they? No, they don't.

• 20:18Tig Notaro?

  Probably not my full on boobs, but like my tumors like are, because I have to have these tests done every, you know, six months or so that can kind of tell the future if I'm going to have a cancer recurrence.

• 20:33Mae Martin?

  Whoa.

• 20:34Tig Notaro?

  Based on the tumor, the old tumors. So my, my, uh, yeah, my tits are actually not in a dumpster. Like we've joked.

• 20:44Mae Martin?

  They're in a fridge somewhere.

• 20:45Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, they're definitely, they're in a tit fridge. So.

• 20:49Mae Martin?

  It's pretty good.

• 20:50Tig Notaro?

  Yeah. Do you know where yours go?

• 20:53Mae Martin?

  I have no idea. I hope, I hope they burned them. I don't know. Or donated them.

• 20:57Tig Notaro?

  They're still smoking. You know? Yeah.

• 21:01Mae Martin?

  I liked what Kamala said about, um, like the, that's sort of the first time that you really are choosing your friends. Cause in elementary school, you're kind of like friends of the people in your class and you will have to go to every birthday party and then middle school you're like more discerning.

• 21:16Tig Notaro?

  Uh huh. Yeah, that's gonna be interesting. Uh, when my kids start, because already in their school, yeah, everybody was friends with everyone and everyone's pretty much still friends with everyone, but they're starting to really lock into, no, this is, this is my vibe, this person.

• 21:32Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 21:33Tig Notaro?

  What do we got? What's next?

• 21:36Speaker 05

  Hi handsome, I am Nina from Rio de Janeiro, Brazil.

• 21:41Mae Martin?

  What?

• 21:41Speaker 05

  And my question is, do you have any superstitions that you abide by rigorously? If so, where did it come from and who taught you them?

• 21:51Mae Martin?

  We were just talking about Rio de Janeiro. That is crazy.

• 21:55Tig Notaro?

  Yes, yes, yes. Talk about superstitious. I don't know, I don't know if this is superstitious. I mean, maybe you can tell me, but Stephanie gives me such a hard time about this. But when she's always the last in bed.

• 22:13Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 22:14Tig Notaro?

  And when she gets in bed, I always ask her to crack the bathroom door a little bit.

• 22:21Mae Martin?

  Uh huh.

• 22:21Tig Notaro?

  Um, and crack the bedroom door a little bit.

• 22:25Mae Martin?

  Why?

• 22:26Tig Notaro?

  And there's, there's a, it's not superstitious. I guess I'm answering it incorrectly, but.

• 22:33Mae Martin?

  No, it's like, that counts kind of. It makes you feel calm.

• 22:37Tig Notaro?

  I feel, I feel safe. Like, I, I like, um, it also, I think it originated from not wanting light in when I'm sleeping and also so the cats can go in and out.

• 22:51Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 22:51Tig Notaro?

  So I like for the doors to be as closed as possible, but so kitty city can make their rounds into the bathroom, out of the bedroom and wherever they might need to go.

• 23:01Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 23:02Tig Notaro?

  But, um, with the bedroom door, I like to have a book as a doorstop so the door doesn't, you know, open more, that it just stays cracked enough for a kitty to go in and out.

• 23:15Mae Martin?

  Okay.

• 23:15Tig Notaro?

  And that way also, I would know if somebody had come into our room at night.

• 23:23Mae Martin?

  Right.

• 23:23Tig Notaro?

  Because, yeah, if, if, if the door is open and the book has slid back, then somebody has come in that's bigger than a kitty.

• 23:34Mae Martin?

  Okay, I like that. That counts. I think that's like a sort of habitual thing that you do to feel safe and like, yeah.

• 23:42Tig Notaro?

  Sure.

• 23:42Mae Martin?

  What about like, are you walking under ladders and stuff or what? Or you don't care?

• 23:46Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, I don't care about that stuff. I'll walk under a ladder. I'll, yeah, I don't, I don't, you don't walk under a ladder?

• 23:54Mae Martin?

  No, I'm like,

• 23:55Tig Notaro?

  Of course not.

• 23:56Mae Martin?

  I'm not gonna risk it. I'm not toasting with water either. I'm not cheersing with water. That's bad luck.

• 24:02Tig Notaro?

  Oh, is it?

• 24:03Mae Martin?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 24:04Tig Notaro?

  Oh, I didn't know that. And I, wow, I didn't know. Why is that bad?

• 24:10Mae Martin?

  I don't know. Maybe because water is so lame and boring to?

• 24:15Tig Notaro?

  Oh.

• 24:16Mae Martin?

  No, I don't know. I don't know. I think it's like, I don't know. Yeah, but also if I see a penny, I'm picking it up, even though that's probably gross. But I have, I have to do my 10 pushups before every show. That counts. And I kind of say a prayer before every show.

• 24:31Tig Notaro?

  Do you?

• 24:32Mae Martin?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 24:34Tig Notaro?

  Can we know the prayer?

• 24:35Mae Martin?

  It's different every time, but it's like a pretty earnest moment. It's not to any particular deity, but it's just like a little calm moment.

• 24:43Tig Notaro?

  Uh huh.

• 24:44Mae Martin?

  Yeah.

• 24:44Tig Notaro?

  That's nice.

• 24:45Mae Martin?

  Should we hear what Nina has to say?

• 24:47Tig Notaro?

  Yes, please.

• 24:48Speaker 05

  Mine is that I cannot drink the water that is by my bedside. So if I wake up in the morning and there is still some water left from the evening before, it has to go to my plants or to my cats because it absorbed all of my dreams or nightmares from that night. Honestly, I do not remember being taught that. I think I invented it. But it is a strict rule for me. No dream water ever. Okay, bye. I love listening to you guys. Come to Brazil someday.

• 25:26Tig Notaro?

  Oh, we have to go to Brazil and see Nina.

• 25:29Mae Martin?

  I would love to. And also that, there's more and more studies about water having a memory, like when being able to be a kind of conduit.

• 25:40Tig Notaro?

  Interesting.

• 25:41Mae Martin?

  Yeah, there's, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like what people who are freezing water.

• 25:45Tig Notaro?

  Mm hmm.

• 25:46Mae Martin?

  And with a thought or an intention and then when and then looking under a microscope and it's formed a picture of what they were thinking or talking about. I don't know. It's water's crazy.

• 25:56Tig Notaro?

  Where'd you hear about this?

• 25:57Mae Martin?

  Well, you know, word on the street.

• 26:02Mae Martin?

  Oh, thanks, Nina.

• 26:04Tig Notaro?

  Yes, Nina. And listeners, don't forget to submit your questions. If you have one, don't be shy. Submit it to speakpipe.com/handsomepod. We love hearing from you. We love the handsome community and we want to build it. So tell your friends and thanks for being such, such a great crew, truly.

• 26:29Mae Martin?

  Angels.

• 26:30Tig Notaro?

  Yes, real angels. And I don't know, until next time, what do you say? We just, we should.

• 26:37Mae Martin?

  Probably just keep it pretty handsome. Handsome is hosted by me, Mae Martin, Tig Notaro, and Fortune Feimster. The show is produced, recorded, and edited by Thomas Willett. Email us at [email protected] and please follow us on social media at handsomepod.

• 26:57Fortune Feimster?

  What a podcast.

• 27:04Speaker 00

  That was a HeadGum Podcast.