Pretty Little Episode #107

"Grandma Cooter" and "Mère Bear" show off their grandma names on a hilarious Pretty Little Episode! Handsome is hosted by Tig Notaro, Mae Martin, and Fortune FeimsterSubmit your questions to speakpipe.com/handsomepod http://speakpipe.com/handsomepodFollow us on social media @handsomepodMerch at handsomepod.com http://handsomepod.com/Watch Handsome on YouTube http://youtube.com/@handsomepodThis is a Headgum https://headgum.com/ podcast. Follow Headgum on Twitter https://x.com/headgum, Instagram https://www.instagram.com/headgum/, and Tiktok https://www.tiktok.com/@headgum. Advertise on Handsome https://gumball.fm/shows/handsome via Gumball.fm http://gumball.fm/. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:01Speaker 00

  This is a HeadGum Podcast.

• 0:16Fortune Feimster?

  Pretty Little Episode.

• 0:18Tig Notaro?

  Hi, it is your friend Tig Notaro on the Pretty Little Episode, handsome episode, I think is what it's called. Sitting here with my co-host.

• 0:31Fortune Feimster?

  This is Fortune Feimster. Yes, it's called a Pretty Little Episode. You got it, my friend.

• 0:37Tig Notaro?

  It's been a beat.

• 0:41Tig Notaro?

  Howdy do, howdy do?

• 0:44Fortune Feimster?

  I'm doing good. Just trucking along. How are you?

• 0:48Tig Notaro?

  I'm good. We're about wrapping up our Colorado time and it has been, once again, a lot of hiking, biking, and diking.

• 0:58Fortune Feimster?

  Hiking, biking, and diking.

• 1:00Tig Notaro?

  Yes, indeed.

• 1:02Fortune Feimster?

  Has it been a good summer?

• 1:05Tig Notaro?

  It's been a great summer and it's been, it's just been, it's, I don't know, just as a parent, really fun to see the independence and maturity and growth

• 1:20Tig Notaro?

  that our kids are showing and because they have a way more like free range life.

• 1:29Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 1:30Tig Notaro?

  When we go on summer break, we like to, you know, they'll do some summer camps that might last a week that are sports related. But other than that, we get really active together as a crew. And it's, it's wild. Like they're, you know, mountain biking for like 15 miles and

• 1:56Fortune Feimster?

  Whoa.

• 1:56Tig Notaro?

  swimming in lakes and eating lunch by rivers and learning wildflowers and it's, it's just, it's

• 2:07Tig Notaro?

  and really understanding like hiking maps and showing us the ropes and it's, it's, it's, it's really, really cool. Like it's definitely a source of pride.

• 2:21Fortune Feimster?

  Oh, I love that.

• 2:23Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, it's nice. And just seeing friends and family is always nice. And yeah, I just, I feel very thankful for our, our summertime.

• 2:39Fortune Feimster?

  That's great. How are they transitioning back into LA once they've spent a summer like that, very outdoorsy?

• 2:47Tig Notaro?

  Um, Max always jokes like, he's like, well, back to our prison.

• 2:56Fortune Feimster?

  Oh, wow.

• 2:57Tig Notaro?

  Just because we have a gate.

• 3:00Fortune Feimster?

  Oh, I see.

• 3:01Tig Notaro?

  Yeah. And at our, at our house. And so I think it's good. I think we all kind of leave summer travels with a feeling of, man, that was awesome.

• 3:16Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 3:16Tig Notaro?

  But I cannot wait to get home to our kiddies and grandfather and friends. And it's, it's just that really sweet spot of like, I'm gonna miss it, but I'm really excited to get home. And I think we all feel that way.

• 3:35Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 3:36Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 3:37Fortune Feimster?

  I would like to do that at some point.

• 3:39Tig Notaro?

  Do what?

• 3:40Fortune Feimster?

  I like go somewhere, rent some kind of house, like on a lake or something like that, like where you're just like, slow it down quite a bit. I just wonder if I can actually make myself go do that sometime.

• 3:56Tig Notaro?

  Well, you know, years ago, you know who Joey Soloway is?

• 4:01Fortune Feimster?

  Mm-hmm. I do.

• 4:03Tig Notaro?

  Yeah. I remember Joey had invited us to go meet their family and some mutual friends. Do you know the actress Carrie Azely? She's painfully hilarious.

• 4:19Fortune Feimster?

  I just know of her.

• 4:21Tig Notaro?

  Oh, my God. One of the funniest people walking around the planet.

• 4:24Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 4:25Tig Notaro?

  They had, I don't know if it's still going on, but like a regular summer trip that they did together. And I remember when they, they had invited us a few years in a row.

• 4:40Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 4:40Tig Notaro?

  And I was always busy and I was like, I don't have time to, like, I was thinking like, I can't possibly go do that.

• 4:47Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 4:48Tig Notaro?

  And Joey was like, I literally shut down from this date to this and it's not negotiable.

• 4:57Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 4:57Tig Notaro?

  And, and I was like, that is wild. And, and so as I got older and had a family and I started to realize I did have some control

• 5:12Tig Notaro?

  that I could shut down, even though I still record the podcast, I have gone and done a show here or there.

• 5:19Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 5:19Tig Notaro?

  And I have wrapped up a movie. Doesn't sound like I fully shut down. But it's, you know, to the extent that I can.

• 5:28Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 5:29Tig Notaro?

  I do shut down and it changed my life.

• 5:33Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 5:33Tig Notaro?

  One million percent changed my life.

• 5:36Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 5:37Tig Notaro?

  And prioritizing that. I only started going on vacations after I met Stephanie. I used to not vacation at all. And then it got to a different point where our kids got older. And that's, you know, in, when you're a kid and summer hits, that is what it is. You're waiting for that.

• 5:55Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 5:56Tig Notaro?

  And so, I don't know. I, I, I can't, I can't recommend it enough if you can do it, however, however long. And like I said, I didn't, I couldn't fully do it, but as much as I can, I do it.

• 6:13Fortune Feimster?

  Well, it's nice. It's good to refresh and

• 6:17Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 6:18Fortune Feimster?

  You know, live life little.

• 6:20Tig Notaro?

  Any hootles.

• 6:21Fortune Feimster?

  Well, let's get to some questions.

• 6:23Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, let's do that. That's why we're here.

• 6:27Speaker 03

  Well, well, well. Hey there, handsome. I'm called Katie and I am from the suburbs of Chicago, Illinois. I am a mother of seven and as of last month, the grandmother of two babies now.

• 6:40Tig Notaro?

  Oh.

• 6:41Speaker 03

  When my daughter was pregnant with her first, people would ask me, what do you want to be called? And I would say, I don't know, whatever he calls me. And it turns out my two-year-old grandson calls me well, well. Because accordingly, I often walk into a room and say, well, well, well. So my question's a two-parter. If you ever become a grandparent, either because you have boys that become parents or a stepdaughter-ish that becomes a parent or you're Fortune and you pull an Angelina Jolie and adopt a whole bunch of kids that have kids.

• 7:05Fortune Feimster?

  What?

• 7:06Speaker 03

  What would you like to be called as a grandparent? And second part, if some catchphrase of yours were to become that name, what would that be? Thanks so much, you guys. I've already told you my answer, so I don't need to tell you again. But I'm looking forward to hearing what y'all have to say. Love you guys, love your podcast, and keep up the good work. Keep us giggling. Thanks. Bye.

• 7:27Fortune Feimster?

  Bye. Well, you have the, the closest proximity, even though your boys are young, to becoming a grandma.

• 7:40Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, but you're all Angelina Jolie over there.

• 7:42Fortune Feimster?

  Apparently I'm gonna adopt a bunch of kids. I don't think that's gonna happen.

• 7:48Tig Notaro?

  I don't either.

• 7:50Fortune Feimster?

  But yeah, I feel like there's a good chance that one or both of your boys will have kids one day.

• 7:58Tig Notaro?

  They're already talking about it.

• 8:00Fortune Feimster?

  Have you thought about what you want to be called?

• 8:04Tig Notaro?

  Maybe grandpa?

• 8:07Fortune Feimster?

  That's kind of funny.

• 8:11Tig Notaro?

  Have you ever heard that Willie Nelson song, "I'm My Own Grandpa"?

• 8:14Fortune Feimster?

  Uh-uh.

• 8:16Tig Notaro?

  It's good. It's just like broken family tree kind of thing where he ends up his own grandpa.

• 8:21Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 8:22Tig Notaro?

  I don't know. Um, I, what would you name me?

• 8:28Fortune Feimster?

  Well, they probably can't call you Tigglebitties. That's my nickname for you.

• 8:36Fortune Feimster?

  I, I like grandpa for you. I like

• 8:44Fortune Feimster?

  Well, Mare's your nickname. Would they just continue? Do you think your grandkids would also call you Mare? Mare Bear is cute.

• 8:52Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, cuz Max and Finn will sometimes call me Mare Bear.

• 8:55Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 8:56Tig Notaro?

  But mostly Mare. That's, that's, that's, that's what I am called.

• 9:00Fortune Feimster?

  That's already sort of your name.

• 9:02Tig Notaro?

  But Mare Bear, I think Mare Bear is a nice little addition.

• 9:07Fortune Feimster?

  Uh huh.

• 9:08Tig Notaro?

  You know?

• 9:09Fortune Feimster?

  And those, and they would continue to be your cubs.

• 9:12Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, my little cubs.

• 9:13Fortune Feimster?

  Little cubs. So Mare Bear, I think is good.

• 9:17Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 9:18Fortune Feimster?

  I actually have thought about what my name would be, but I'm not gonna tell anybody. Because, you know, you never know if one day I were to somehow adopt a bunch of kids or.

• 9:29Tig Notaro?

  Mary Angelina.

• 9:31Fortune Feimster?

  You know, end up with some, a stepchild at some point. Who knows?

• 9:35Tig Notaro?

  Sure. Yeah, who knows?

• 9:37Fortune Feimster?

  I have a, I have a name that I would want to be called, but I'm not gonna tell anybody because I want to.

• 9:44Tig Notaro?

  Is it Grandma Cooter?

• 9:50Fortune Feimster?

  That's pretty funny. I hadn't thought about that. Grandma Cooter. Honestly, that's not a bad idea. GC, GC for short.

• 10:05Fortune Feimster?

  If it were to ever happen one day, I would reveal what that name is, but I'm gonna keep it a secret.

• 10:12Tig Notaro?

  You won't even tell me if we bleep it out?

• 10:15Fortune Feimster?

  I'll tell you. I'll tell you, I'll tell you later. I'll tell you later. Uh, but I, but for now, I think Grandma Cooter might have already edged that out, so it won't matter.

• 10:30Tig Notaro?

  You know what I have to say also? I don't know if, I've talked about it on stage once. Um, but my nephew, when I hear a well, well, or well, well, well, I don't know if I've told this story, but. Um, when my brother and sister-in-law were trying to have a conversation and asked us to distract our nephew. Uh, Stephanie was like, come look at the, um, telescope. And he was like, I don't want to. He was three. And, um, and, and cuz he wanted to be with his parents.

• 11:02Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 11:02Tig Notaro?

  And, uh, she was like, no, no, no, come on, come on. And she was like, oh, it's so cool. And she was pretending to look out at the telescope. She was like, wow. And then he came over and he was like, looking at, you know, the situation.

• 11:16Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 11:16Tig Notaro?

  And then he said, I guess I could look out of the telescope. And then Stephanie goes, well, well, well. And he goes, no, don't say well, well, well. And it made us laugh so hard because he was three, but he totally understood.

• 11:37Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah.

• 11:37Tig Notaro?

  That she was being, um, what is it, condescending or, um, and, uh, calling him out on like. Going back on his word. And so to this day, anytime, truly, if a, if a waiter walks up to our table and says, well, well, well. We're always like, no, don't say well, well, well. Don't you dare call, just let me look out of the telescope and don't call me on it.

• 12:06Fortune Feimster?

  That's funny.

• 12:07Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 12:07Fortune Feimster?

  I love that.

• 12:09Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, I love you too.

• 12:10Fortune Feimster?

  Mare Bear and Grandma Cooter.

• 12:14Tig Notaro?

  What if we end up married and, uh, go the final stretch in life? Come on, kids, we're going to Mare Bear.

• 12:21Fortune Feimster?

  Grandma Cooter.

• 12:23Tig Notaro?

  We're going to Grandma Cooter's house.

• 12:32Tig Notaro?

  Hey, well, thank you, Katie.

• 12:35Fortune Feimster?

  That was a, that was a treat.

• 12:37Tig Notaro?

  Hello, you wanna hook us up, Thomas, on our next delightful question?

• 12:42Speaker 04

  Hey, girly whirlies and thoroughly whirlies. This is Kim from Oz, not from Kansas, from Australia.

• 12:50Tig Notaro?

  Australia.

• 12:51Speaker 04

  And I was wondering, what is it that made you believe in yourself? Like to believe in pursuing, that you could pursue comedy, believing that you could act in the movies you act or, or write the movies you write. Or TV shows. Um, yeah, what is it that made you believe in you? Or what is it that made you chase these dreams that you have? And really start living them out every day? I'm curious.

• 13:27Tig Notaro?

  Hmm. That's a good question. What do you gotta say? I bet your grandma's in there.

• 13:34Fortune Feimster?

  I mean, yeah, my grandmother was a big influence on me. She, you know, was, uh. We were very close when I was growing up and she really instilled the sense of like. Belief in me and like, she just loved me so much unconditionally. There was never any stipulations or any. You know, that's kind of what, what's beautiful about our grandmother is that they're not the ones that are having to parent you. Per se, they just kinda get to be the like ball of love. Um, and she just was, uh, just very like on my team. Um, and that made a big difference for me in my like self-esteem and.

• 14:17Tig Notaro?

  And this is great, great grandmother Cooter?

• 14:19Fortune Feimster?

  This is Grandma Cooter, my Grandma Cooter.

• 14:24Fortune Feimster?

  Uh, and so, yeah, I think, you know, in a time where I could have really felt bad about myself for a multitude of reasons. Being a, a, a big chubby kid always and, you know, being, not knowing I was gay. And not being the object of affection for, for guys growing up. There are things that, you know, chip away at your self-esteem.

• 14:48Tig Notaro?

  Mm-hmm.

• 14:49Fortune Feimster?

  But I think that like her, her just like that unconditional love really just kept me from getting consumed by that. And my mom also, you know, was always had, had a good self-esteem about herself. And, um, a good personality. And I think she, you know, kinda taught me to be. Um, silly and, and think highly of myself, but not in like an over, you know, not in a way that's like. Annoying or pompous, but just like, I'm, you know, I'm good enough. Like that Stuart Smalley, I'm good enough.

• 15:28Fortune Feimster?

  I'm smart enough and doggone it, people like me. So that, so they kinda laid that foundation for me to just like. Um, have a belief in myself. Uh, and so that's kinda square one. But then I do think that I just naturally always was curious about what else was out there. Like I grew up in a very small town, went to a very small college. And I just was always like, what else? This can't be it. Um, there has to be more. And in college, I got to like dip my toe in. That by studying the Mayan ruins and the Mayan civilization in Mexico. That really opened up my world.

• 16:08Fortune Feimster?

  And then that led me to wanting to live in Spain and kinda learn about that other culture and language. And that part of the world and living in Spain gave me the courage to move to Los Angeles when I got a job opportunity. And I did not move to Los Angeles with the goal of being a comedian. I thought, oh, how cool. Like maybe there's something fun in LA to learn or do. But I didn't go, oh, I'm gonna go be a Hollywood actor, comedian. I just got a job opportunity. And was like, this'll be a fun life experience. And then, um, while I was there, I just, uh.

• 16:51Fortune Feimster?

  I obviously had some pull towards performing cuz I had done some theater in college. Um, but I just joined the, the Groundlings Improv to make friends. Um, truly just to have a social life. And my teachers, and I've had teachers my whole life from. School to college to the Groundlings, just be very encouraging of me saying like, you got something here, keep going. And I think that, uh, having a, people around you encouraging you and say, keep going. You got something makes a big difference too. And then once I found what my, that my passion was comedy.

• 17:32Fortune Feimster?

  There was just no stopping me because I, I think half the battle was figuring out what you love. And once you figure out what you love, like that cuts out so much of the work. Cuz so many people struggle just to find the thing they're into.

• 17:47Tig Notaro?

  Mm-hmm.

• 17:48Fortune Feimster?

  And then when you find it, you're like, well, let's, let's go for it. And then I just kinda had this unwavering, like, I didn't make money forever. I was broke. Um, but I just loved it so much. And I was like, I'm just gonna figure out how to do this more. And that was it.

• 18:08Tig Notaro?

  And then you climbed aboard the handsome pod.

• 18:14Tig Notaro?

  This was, this was waiting for you out in Hollywood.

• 18:18Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah, I mean, I had negative money, negative, I got owed my roommate like two grand when I got Chelsea lately. I had literally no money in my bank account.

• 18:29Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 18:30Fortune Feimster?

  I could not, I didn't get paid for a month. And I didn't know how to like. Pay for lunch while I'm working at the, like around these very successful comedians.

• 18:40Tig Notaro?

  Yeah.

• 18:41Fortune Feimster?

  That's how close I was to just not being able to support myself anymore.

• 18:47Tig Notaro?

  Right.

• 18:48Fortune Feimster?

  But it just came, this huge job opportunity came at the, you know, under the wire.

• 18:55Tig Notaro?

  Mm-hmm. I would say they missed the wire.

• 18:58Fortune Feimster?

  Yeah. And, uh, it, and then I never stopped working after that.

• 19:03Tig Notaro?

  That's great.

• 19:04Fortune Feimster?

  What about you?

• 19:05Tig Notaro?

  I, um, I don't have confidence that I can do this.

• 19:12Tig Notaro?

  Um, yeah, I mean, you know, as I've talked before, um, my mother was very, my mother was an artist. She was very funny, very wild and free spirited and, um, instilled in me to tell people to go to hell, but not literally. I didn't, you know, go through life telling people to go to hell, but, um, just, she just was like, they have a problem with you? They can go to hell. They have a problem with you're gay? They can go to hell. Everyone can go to hell. You know, you're fine. And, um, you know, I'm definitely not somebody that actually says, go to hell, but I have like a, a part of me that has remained my whole

• 19:55Tig Notaro?

  life where I'm like, I think I'm okay. You know, I think I'm, I think I'm doing all right. And actually, as I got older into my teen years, and I was really struggling with school and, um, you know, I didn't understand myself. I was in trouble a lot in the principal's office and my vice principal was just saved my life and I didn't know was gay. Um, but I think she sniffed me out and, uh, really guided me and was very involved in my life and in, in contact with my mother and, and, um, and she just really instilled

• 20:37Tig Notaro?

  the whole, listen to your gut. Listen to your gut. And, uh, I didn't fully get that until I really got out into the world and listened to my gut. And, um, I think those two people, you know, I also have to say my, a childhood friend of mine's mother used to always tell me how smart I was. And I, I, um, it was kind of, not the first time, but really outside of my parents or family that I, I mean, my mother would be like, oh, your teacher called. She says you're so smart. And I'm like, I'd say, what else are they

• 21:16Tig Notaro?

  gonna tell you? Um, you have a dumb child on your hands. Um, but my, my friend Melissa's mother, like really, really saw my intelligence, you know? Uh, it wasn't shining in obvious ways, maybe, because I was a little off the beaten path. But, um, I would say those three people, I mean, there's been so many, but those are, those are three monumental people and that kind of gave me that feeling that I could do things. And I, uh, yeah,

• 21:55Tig Notaro?

  I've, I've surprised myself. I've surprised myself that I can make a living, that I could actually maintain a relationship and that I, I think I'm an all right parent and decent friend. And I'm just like so thankful for the people that have sent me on my way, you know? And I will say it a million times until I'm dead. I'm not a perfect person. And, uh, but I, I, I've come a long way because of those people. And so many others, so many

• 22:35Tig Notaro?

  others. And again, comedy, they're everywhere. Like just my friend Beth, like there's so many people that have, I'm just like, God, I can't believe, truly. So, yeah, there you go.

• 22:50Fortune Feimster?

  And then you got on the Handsome Pod.

• 22:52Tig Notaro?

  And then I got on the Handsome Pod. Yeah. So, yeah. Should we hear, um, what Kim has to say?

• 23:02Speaker 04

  Um, for me, my answer is I feel like I'm at the beginning of, you know, really learning how to be myself and figure out all my interests and start to really, yeah, like believe that I can do it, whatever it is that I want to do. And just starting to live every day like I'm living my dream life and starting to pursue the things. Um, but yeah, that's me. Okay. Bye.

• 23:36Fortune Feimster?

  I love it. Love it. Well, hopefully everybody's, you know, on their path to living their best life and doing the things that matter to them and bring them joy. We want that for all our handsome listeners.

• 23:52Tig Notaro?

  For sure. I mean, why wouldn't you want to see everyone thriving?

• 23:59Fortune Feimster?

  Thriving!

• 24:00Tig Notaro?

  In this world.

• 24:01Fortune Feimster?

  That's right.

• 24:02Tig Notaro?

  In this world. Thrive your faces off, everybody.

• 24:07Fortune Feimster?

  Well, another fun episode.

• 24:09Tig Notaro?

  Hmm. Great questions.

• 24:11Fortune Feimster?

  You can submit your questions and advice requests to speakpipe.com/handsomepod if you want to be on here and have us, uh, give you some, some little tips or questions or advice. We're both on tour. Check out our website for our dates.

• 24:30Tig Notaro?

  Yeah, I'm Tig Notaro, if anyone's wondering, and that's my website.

• 24:34Fortune Feimster?

  I'm fortunefeamster.com.

• 24:36Tig Notaro?

  Uh huh.

• 24:37Fortune Feimster?

  Well, until next time.

• 24:40Tig Notaro?

  Keep it.

• 24:41Fortune Feimster?

  Pretty handsome.

• 24:42Tig Notaro?

  Pretty handsome. Handsome is hosted by me, Tig Notaro, Mae Martin and Fortune Feimster. The show is produced, recorded and edited by Thomas Willett. Email us at [email protected]. Follow us on social media at HandsomePod. What a podcast! What a podcast!

• 25:07Speaker 00

  That was a HeadGum Podcast.